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The moon window they had called it, when they showed Yoongi the original designs. And then when they showed him the actual shuttle and the huge round portal on the side. They told him it was for the view, that he’d appreciate having it. Grand words about all the things Yoongi could see, how he’d want to be able to see as much as that window would allow. He thinks he had been excited about it back then, but now…Now, the view has gotten old.
Yoongi sighs and stretches his arms out, the movement causing him to flip upside down. He doesn’t struggle against it, just blinks and reorients himself, tipping his head slightly. There’s nothing to look at out the moon window, just pinpricks of light in the distance. Everything else is dark, pure black against the pristine white frame of the window.He lets his mind wander, gaze directed listlessly out the portal. Yoongi finds himself here often, losing time like this. Floating in zero gravity, staring off into the cosmos, weightless and alone. It’s relaxing, in a way, meditation. Yoongi likes to pretend it’s meditation.There’s a soft beep from somewhere in the depths of the ship and Yoongi perks up, head tilting toward the sound. He shifts his arms and legs, flipping himself until he’s upright and facing the direction of the sound. With the moon window at his back, Yoongi stares down the narrow passageway in front of him, waiting to make sure he didn’t imagine the -Another beep and Yoongi finds himself smiling. He propels himself forward, reaching for the handholds at the entrance to the hallway as another beep echoes to him. The alarm Yoongi has preprogrammed will keep going off until he reaches the communications room and he hurries to reach it, anxious for what it means.｡･:*˚:✧｡
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Ground control to Major Jeon…
Yoongi sends the message and waits, strapping himself into the chair in front of the console. It should be the right time, if he’s lucky and all the schedules are still the same. Yoongi shouldn’t have to wait long until -
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

You’re so old, hyung.

I don’t even know that song.
Yoongi smiles to himself again, the lonely expanse of the moon window suddenly seeming far away.

[PLEIADES II COMM]

You just don’t appreciate the classics, Jungkook-ah.

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I think you just like that I got promoted from captain last month so you can use that line

[PLEIADES II COMM]

Maybe

You can’t prove it
The weariness Yoongi was feeling seems to slip away from him. There is no longer a hollowness in his chest, blurry fuzz in his brain. He is awake and alert, sitting at the console, waiting for another response. Thankfully, he doesn’t have to wait long.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Did you just wake up?

It’s “morning” here. Technically

[PLEIADES II COMM]

I’ve been up for a while
Yoongi doesn’t sleep very much anymore, he feels more like he just… Exists. Sometimes he thinks he sleeps, like when he floats in front of the moon window and meditates. But sleep is… Sleep is something that Yoongi struggles to find. Though he has no shortage of tiredness.That’s not something he needs to talk about though, so he quickly moves on.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

How about you? Sleep well?

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Well enough

I’m having breakfast now

We got a new supply delivery so there’s eggs and bacon.
Yoongi can’t remember the last time he had either of those. His meals usually consist of the vegetables he grows and various pre-packaged ready meals. None of those are great, mostly protein bars and random gels that are supposed to taste like any number of things. They rarely do.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Sounds good

Save some for me

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I’ll save all the best ones for you, Yoongi hyung
That makes Yoongi smile at the screen again, though it makes something in his chest ache too. He ignores it, rubbing a hand over his breastbone and leaning in when another message comes through.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

What are you up to today, hyung?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

I thought I might try to repair the satellite relay today

There’s a possibility it will fix the rest of the comms connections

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

That would be great!

Good success changes?
Yoongi has run and rerun the probability through the computer. The ship’s artificial intelligence, VAN, or Virtual Auxiliary Network, has given him the same figures every time.

[PLEIADES II COMM]

VAN says a reasonable success chance

84%
He doesn’t add that, in the event of the repair not working, it would completely wipe out all communications systems. There is a sixteen percent chance that everything could go dark, just like it was before. But Yoongi feels like the risk is worth it.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

How long do you think it will take?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

A couple of hours probably

I’ll need to do a spacewalk to fix the satellite on the outside

Then reset the uplink here in the comms room

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I’ll be here cheering you on

Fighting, hyung!!

And be careful
Yoongi stares at the message for a moment. Be careful. He’s heard those words before many times. The last time he heard it wasn’t that long ago, even if it feels like an eternity.“Be careful,” Seokjin said, hovering beside Namjoon as Yoongi was fitted for a new spacesuit.“You worry too much,” Yoongi said with an easy smile. “I’ve got this.”Namjoon smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “We know.”He wasn’t afraid before he left, wasn’t afraid for the mission he was chosen for. Now Yoongi knows that he should have been.He blinks, refocusing on the screen in front of him, and types back a message. What he should have said last time.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

I will be

I’ll talk to you soon
｡･:*˚:✧｡Yoongi was always careful, always doing everything exactly the way he should. That’s why he wasn’t worried or afraid, he knew he wouldn’t make a mistake. But in the end, that hadn’t mattered.The suit Yoongi pulls on seems surprisingly thin. It doesn’t feel like something that will protect him from the crushing atmosphere of outer space, but he’s never had a problem before. Each time he’s had to leave the ship, the suits have protected him. He has three, cycling through them for testing and routine emergency drills, and for actual spacewalks.It’s second nature by now, all muscle memory as he makes sure everything is strapped and buckled. As he pulls the helmet on and connects it to the rest of the suit, flips on the life support controls, he doesn’t even have to think about the next steps.And yet… Even if he’s done this before, even if it’s been a hundred times, there’s always a rush of fear. Always a moment of fluttering anxiety when he double checks the helmet is airtight and makes sure oxygen is flowing. Always a prickling of fear down his spine when he steps up to the airlock door and his hand hovers over the controls.Letting out a breath, Yoongi flips up the control panel cover and slaps his hand over the airlock button. It opens with a woosh and Yoongi doesn’t let himself hesitate to step though. The door closes behind him and Yoongi makes his way across the metal floor to the second door, the one that will let him out of the ship.Reaching for the back of his suit, Yoongi unhooks the Kevlar tether cord and attaches it to the metal hook by the door. He tugs it once, twice, confirming it’s secure, and then flips up the cover for the next control panel. The only thing standing between himself and the vastness of space, is this one metal door.｡･:*˚:✧｡It was supposed to be the first manned mission to Mars. They’ve sent rovers and robots and all sorts of bots they can control with remotes. Scans have been done, data has been collected. But that’s never enough, they wanted to send a real person.The mission was more reconnaissance than anything else. Really just a fly by. Get there, orbit the planet a few times, try to observe and note a few spots that could be used for landing. Not that Yoongi was going to land there. He wasn’t actually going to set foot on Mars. That would be for the next crew, the next trip. A bigger trip.Because this trip, this mission, was just Yoongi.Stupid, maybe, to do a solo mission to Mars. But the argument was made that it was a fly over, it would be simply. They just needed someone skilled and competent to run the mission and return. And Yoongi didn’t mind doing a solo research mission, eight months didn’t seem like all that long. He could sleep for part of it, do his own testing and research projects, whatever he wanted. Then he’d get there, complete the mission, and head back to Earth.A year and a half at the most, and then he’d be home. It didn’t sound so bad.But best laid plans and all that.The asteroid belt was known, it was something that the ships computers, that VAN could account for. What wasn’t known was the comet that would break up and send all the asteroids spinning out of control. No one could have accounted for that. Even when Yoongi had plugged it into VAN after the fact, the probability was so low that there were nearly a dozen zeros before the one after the decimal.
He was nearly there when it happened, and of course he got caught in it. Yoongi was seasoned, this wasn’t his first mission. Keeping himself calm, Yoongi switched the flight controls to manual, trying to navigate his way out of the asteroid field.But he was hit once, twice, hell, he doesn’t know how many times. There were alarms ringing, lights flashing, everything was spinning out of control.Yoongi thinks he must have passed out at one point, hitting his head on something in the chaos. Because when he came to, or when he next remembered things, it was quiet. Or, relatively quiet. Just the ambient noise of the ship. The alarms were quiet, lights no longer flashing. And he was alive. Though he did have a splitting headache.When he managed to pull himself up and look out the window, he was orbiting what seemed to be one of Mars’ moons. Phobos maybe, if the navigation systems could still be trusted.It was clear that there was a lot of damage. Yoongi found himself having to manually assess most of it, VAN seemed to be crippled and unable to perform a lot of its normal functions. The comms satellites were down and all Yoongi could get on the communications systems and most of the computers was fuzzy static. Damage to the relays and interference, most likely. The shifting of the asteroid belt had put him in a dead zone.That wasn’t the worst of it though. The engines were damaged and Yoongi couldn’t get them to connect, absolutely no power or thrust left in them. He was dead in the water, and he had no way of calling for help.
Thankfully, the life support systems were all still up and running. The oxygen garden was intact and, with him the only one aboard the ship, producing enough to last him years. Filtered water, the vegetables from the garden, ready to eat meals, were all available. He could live here for quite a while, but he couldn’t go anywhere.Yoongi tried not to panic, forcing himself to remain calm. Someone would be coming to rescue him, it was only a matter of time. They’d know, and they’d come get him. Yoongi could push the terror and anxiety away and continue on with his research, just waiting until someone would come.Looking back, Yoongi’s surprised it took him almost six months to openly worry. Six months of shoving those dark thoughts to the back of his mind until he broke. A year before the full weight set in.Eighteen months to give up hope and realize this was it, he was truly alone.
｡･:*˚:✧｡Yoongi has mostly been avoiding fixing the satellites on the outside of the ship. In the beginning, when Yoongi thought that help would come, he had done a few spacewalks to try to fix them. He was unsuccessful then and after a few months, it stopped feeling worthwhile.Honestly, he didn’t see much point to it before. But since Yoongi managed to repatch together some of the communication relays on the inside of the ship and since his orbit has shifted… Well, now it seems different.It was mostly luck, he thinks, that got the text based communication working again. If his orbit and the asteroid belt hadn’t changed just enough to get him out of the dead zone, he’d still be unable to make contact.
But now that he has made contact… Maybe he’s a little greedy for more. Greedy for what else he could have if he gets things up and running again.Yoongi breathes steadily as he uses the handholds on the outside of the ship. In and out, in and out. Conserving his oxygen supply is important, and remaining calm is a big part of it. This isn’t his first spacewalk, he’s done plenty since he’s been stuck here, but each one feels precarious.Without anyone except the computers to help him from the inside, Yoongi is alone. He has to be careful, knowing how much is at risk when it’s just him. That’s part of what kept him inside for so long, had him hesitating to try fixing the satellites again.But with some repairs made inside, some of VAN’s functionality was restored enough to give Yoongi detailed enough blueprints to fix the relays outside the ship. Or so he hoped.
When he reaches the cluster of satellites on the outside of the ship, Yoongi hooks another tether to a hook beside them and takes stock of the situation. He’s seen the damage before, knows how bad it is. Without enough replacement parts, he’s not able to repair things fully. The damage is too great for that. But with a few resets and hardware changes, he should be able to get voice communication working again.
The fixes are criminally easy, and it's frustrating to know that Yoongi could have repaired them before, if he only knew where to cut and solder. It doesn’t take him long at all to replace a few damaged bolts and braids of wire. Attaching everything together takes a little time, making sure all the connections are secure and correct.But by the time he’s closing the panels and refitting the bolts, Yoongi still has plenty of oxygen left. He allows himself to sigh and drift away slightly, still held by the tether on the ship. Maybe he’s excited for the possibility of further communication. He’s not sure it’s something that would have excited him a few months ago, but now…Well, things are different when you’re not lonely anymore.Or, no, that’s not exactly correct. Maybe less lonely. Because he is still alone out here, in the vast emptiness of space, but there is a tether now. Just like the Kevlar cord keeping him connected to his ship, there is something connecting him thousands and millions of kilometers away, back home.It took Yoongi a while to make peace with his situation. He went through all the stages of grief, crying and screaming and rampaging through the ship until he was hoarse and exhausted. And still, he was alone. No one could hear or see him in these moments.He thought he would die out here and no one would ever know. No one would ever find him. And he’d never get a chance to speak to the people he cared about again. His parents, his brother, his friends. Hell, even his dog. He’d never get to say goodbye.There is a strange quality to the kind of loneliness Yoongi has experienced. It is so acute and insidious, creeping into his body and mind. He thought he was going crazy for a while, talking to himself, to the plants in the garden, pleading with the VAN system to talk back to him. But it wasn’t designed that way, and it probably wouldn’t have helped anyway.Yoongi had enough oxygen, food, and water to survive for a very long time. A lifetime, at least. But there were many times he wondered if it was worth it. If he shouldn’t just open the airlock one day, let himself give up.Time passed him by and Yoongi stopped counting it, just stared out the moon window at the sparks of light beyond the ship. Sometimes, if he squinted, he could pretend they were the lights of a ship coming to rescue him. There should be other missions, more people coming, someone was bound to find him. Unless they scrapped it all because of this failure.And missions take time, who knows how many years Yoongi would have to wait before help came. With each passing week, things felt more and more hopeless. A crushing weight pressing Yoongi in on every side, making it hard to sleep or eat, to even breathe. The moon window made the outside look more and more welcoming. And Yoongi thought about it, he really did.But then, there was Jungkook.｡･:*˚:✧｡
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Did it work?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

Not sure yet

I’m back in one piece though

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Of course you are, hyung

I wasn’t worried at all
Yoongi stares at the screen, wondering if maybe Jungkook had been worried… Would he miss Yoongi if he -No. Yoongi blinks. He doesn’t need to think about that. Instead, he focuses on the screens in front of him, staring at the data readouts. They look promising.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

I think the satellite relay has been fixed. I had to rewire some of the parts and it should be reconnected now

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

So we’re good?

Can we try?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

I need to reconnect and do a reset of the satellite uplink

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

And then it’ll work?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

It should
Once again, he doesn’t add that, if it doesn’t work, they might not be able to talk at all anymore. But this is an eighty four percent chance, and that’s better than Yoongi hoped for. So…
[PLEIADES II COMM]

I should do the reset now

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Count of three?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

Okay
Yoongi smiles to himself, a nervous anticipation in his belly.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Count me down, Major

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Roger, Colonel

Reset in 3
Hunching over, Yoongi finds the reset button for the communications array. He flips open the panel, flick a few switches.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

2
Yoongi’s finger hovers over the button.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

1
Closing his eyes, Yoongi depresses the button, holding it for a second before releasing.Nothing happens. There is nothing and Yoongi has fucked this up and -A loud beep rings through the comms room. Yoongi’s eyes snap open and he looks around, eyes landing on a scroll of green text on one of the terminals
Satellite uplink connected.

Searching for connection…

Searching for connection…

Searching for…

Connection found.
Yoongi’s heart skips in his chest.
Establishing connection…

Establishing connection…

Establishing connection…

Establishing…
A burst of static buzzes through the room and Yoongi winces at the sudden noise, ducking his head slightly. The static shifts in pitch, whining for a few seconds, before dropping down again. There’s a strange jumble of sounds and then the static fades, resolves and -“Colonel Min?”
A voice.
“Are you there?”
Yoongi doesn’t think he’s breathing. He stares at the screen where the word Connected blinks on the screen.“Yoongi hyung?”The sound of his name has Yoongi jolting in his chair. And all at once, unbidden, he starts to cry. He hasn’t cried in a long time, hasn’t allowed it. But now, he can’t even control it. The sound of someone else out there, someone saying his name, has him curling in on himself. A sob claws its way out of Yoongi’s chest and the tears flow as he breaks into a million tiny pieces.｡･:*˚:✧｡The first time Yoongi talked to Jungkook, he was sure he was hallucinating. It didn’t seem real, that the asteroid belt had shifted and Yoongi had managed to repair enough to get a message out. But he still tried, despite feeling hopeless and stupid, he sent his distress calls. And then he waited.He never expected the response.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

This is Captain Jeon Jungkook, Communications Officer aboard the International Space Station

This is an official channel, unauthorized use is prohibited
Yoongi nearly pissed himself, sitting in the chair in the comms room, staring at the text on the screen. It didn’t seem real, but…
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I repeat, this is an official channel

Please discontinue use

We will terminate the connection
Terminate the - Yoongi scrambled to get his hands on the console, fingers trembling as he typed back a response.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Wait!

Please!

This is Colonel Min on Pleiades II Mission 0613
There was no response. Yoongi must have sounded insane, rambling and babbling like this. He was shaking all over, adrenaline surging through him.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Are you still there?

Captain Jeon?

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

The Pleiades II hasn’t been heard from in over two years

The mission has been marked a failure

[PLEIADES II COMM]

I was just able to get the comms working again.

My ship was damaged and I’m stuck in orbit. I’ve been stuck here for so long.

My engines are damaged and I cannot complete the mission. Please send help.

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

This is impossible, the Pleiades was unrecoverable
Fucking hell. Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Please, you have to believe me
There were tears burning behind Yoongi’s eyes, panic threatening to overtake him.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Please, I’m not even fucking sure this is real

I’ve been alone so long and I’m afraid this is a hallucination

Please respond, please

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Look, this is really messed up

Jimin? Taehyung? Is that you?

You can’t send these prank messages anymore, you’re going to get in trouble

I’m not covering for you again

[PLEIADES II COMM]

Captain Jeon please

I don’t know who Jimin or Taehyung are

This is Colonel Min Yoongi aboard Pleiades II

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Colonel Min has been declared deceased
Oh that was fucking hard to read. It made Yoongi’s stomach flip, had bile rising in his throat.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

If this is Jin hyung, this isn’t funny

This is a shitty prank
Jin hyung - Yoongi knows a Jin hyung.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Kim Seokjin? Is that who you’re talking about?

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Affirmative.

Please get off this channel, it is for official use, hyung

[PLEIADES II COMM]

Ask Kim Seokjin about me

He knows me, please

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Kim Seokjin is at mission command on Earth

It’s the middle of the night, I can’t contact him

[PLEIADES II COMM]

Please. Just contact him

Tell him it’s Yoongi.

Tell him I’ll forgive the 100k won he owes me
Yoongi sat and stared at the screen but no response came.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Captain Jeon?

Please
Fuck. This couldn’t be it, they had to believe him. If they just contacted Seokjin or something, if this captain would just believe him.
Hope, for the first time in so long, dangled in front of Yoongi’s eyes. He could almost reach it, almost feel it. He just needed -
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Colonel Min?
A wet sob escaped from Yoongi’s lips and he clapped a hand over his mouth. He didn’t need to be hysterical right now. Trying to regulate his breathing, Yoongi focused on messaging back.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Yes, that’s me

Min Yoongi

I’m here

Please

Did you reach Seokjin?

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Yes, I

Shit, Colonel, sorry for my breach of protocol but

Is it really you?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

It’s really me. Please, I’m not even sure you’re real

I’ve been alone so long, I don’t know if this is really happening or

Fuck
Another sob slipped past Yoongi’s lips and he squeezed his eyes closed. This had to be real, he hasn’t gone crazy. Not yet.

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

This is real, Colonel

I’m so sorry

Are you safe? Are you well?
A difficult question to answer.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

I’m alive

I’m alright
Mostly.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

We’re going to rescue you, Colonel

We’ll send someone to bring you home
There was no stopping the tears after that. Yoongi collapsed into his chair and sobbed.｡･:*˚:✧｡Yoongi has heard voices during his time alone, during his entire mission. He’s had recorded videos of family and friends, messages wishing him well. Some audiobooks and recorded lectures, even some movies. But this, hearing an actual voice speaking to him now, in the present, is completely different.It’s different when it’s a real person, someone in real time talking to Yoongi. Someone Yoongi can respond to, have a conversation with. It’s different when it is Jungkook, and he is suddenly, unequivocally, real.Not that Yoongi didn’t think Jungkook was real before this, but sometimes he doubts it. Or he expects to go to the comms room and he won’t be able to reach anyone. On the darkest days, when he feels hopeless and afraid, he is sure all of this is just a hallucination.But now he has proof, real, undeniable proof that the person he has been talking to is real.
Maybe that’s why Yoongi flees. He can’t even bring himself to respond, so overwhelmed with the reality of Jungkook’s existence, the reality of all of this. Instead, Yoongi unstraps himself from the chair in the comms room and gets the fuck out of there.
It’s hard to move fast in zero gravity, but Yoongi does his best to get away as fast as possible. He can still hear Jungkook calling for him, asking after him, but Yoongi closes doors in his wake, fleeing for the safety of his bunk.Alone, in the dark of his bunk space, Yoongi lets himself cry. It would be more satisfying, he thinks, if he could actually throw himself down onto the bed. As it is, he has to strap himself into the sleeping bag so he won’t float away. But he makes do, curling on his side and burying his face in his hands.He feels pathetic, great heaving sobs shaking him and rocking through his body. This is the most he thinks he’s felt in months, ever since that first time he messaged with Jungkook. Since someone out there knew he was alive and was coming for him.And now that’s only been made more true. The facts are only firmer in Yoongi’s mind. They know he is out here and alive, someone is coming to save him. Yoongi will not die alone is the blackness of space and there are people who care about him.Yoongi thinks he must fall asleep at some point, crying himself into exhaustion until he basically passes out. When he wakes, there’s a repetitive, dull beeping echoing over the intercom system.
Everywhere on Yoongi’s body hurts. He’s been curled up in a ball, his muscles protesting when he tries to stretch out. His face feels hot and tight, eyes burning when he opens them, peering into the dim glow of emergency lights. It feels a little like Yoongi swallowed knives with how sore his throat is and his chest aches as if he’s run a marathon.Unstrapping himself from his sleeping berth, Yoongi leaves the bunk space and glides into the hallway. He ignores the wall consoles, already knowing where the beeping is coming from, knowing what he’ll find when he checks.Making his way to the comms room, Yoongi sits in the chair, strapping himself into place. He stares blankly at the screens in front of him, turning off the alarm on autopilot. There are messages waiting for him, all of them from Jungkook.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I think there might be a problem with the comm link

I was talking, could you hear me?

Maybe you should reset it again?
Guilt settles in Yoongi’s stomach like a weight as he scans the messages.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Is everything okay? Is the reset still happening?

The system says we have a connection

Hyung, can you hear me?

Yoongi hyung?

Are you okay?
A pause then, maybe Jungkook was trying to troubleshoot, or give Yoongi a chance to respond. But the messages start again shortly after.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I’ve run diagnostics and we should be all set

Can’t you hear me?

Is everything alright, hyung?

Please respond

Colonel Min, please respond
And then again, a little later.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

It’s late here

I need to turn in

Can we try again when I’m back on shift?

I hope you’re okay
Nothing after that for a few hours, but then, just forty minutes ago.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I’m back, hyung

I didn’t sleep much, I was worried

Are you okay?

Can you see these messages?
Yoongi can see them, but he doesn’t feel like he can respond to them. Not right now. God, what the fuck is wrong with him? Shouldn’t he be happy about this?He should, Yoongi knows he should be overjoyed, that he should be crying with happiness right now. But there are no happy tears in him, instead he just feels sad.
It’s ridiculous and he can’t quite understand why he feels this way. He makes his way back into his bunk and straps himself down again just as another wave of tears comes.Yoongi’s not positive how long he stays like that, curled up and crying in the dark. He barely eats, doesn’t do any of his normal chores or routines. Getting out of his bunk feels almost impossible and his body feels heavy and tired.He feels like he’s in mourning, grieving some great loss. But he can’t put his finger on exactly what it is.Maybe it’s all of this, the entire situation. Yoongi has fallen apart about it before, contemplated death and eternity and nothing. But maybe, in the deepest recesses of his mind, he still had hope. And now, now that he knows he will be saved and he won’t die alone here, he can truly cry about the other possibility.How close did he come to oblivion like this? Too close, closer than he ever really accepted. Hell, he could have died when he ended up in the middle of that asteroid belt, he could have crashed or had a hull breach. And for months on end, Yoongi was here alone, waiting for something.Waiting for Jungkook.The fact that Yoongi came so close to dying out here is sobering, terrifying. He wasn’t afraid when he left on his mission, and maybe he should have been. Maybe he should have been more grateful for everything he had on Earth too.
He has another chance to do that. A sobering thought, every time he comes back around to the realization that he’s going home. Yoongi will see his parents again, he will see Seokjin and Namjoon. He will be rescued and he will not be forgotten, just another shiny speck in the sky.｡･:*˚:✧｡It’s three days before Yoongi finally pulls himself together enough to return to the comms room. He feels pathetic and strange, embarrassed at the same time. What must Jungkook think of him disappearing? Probably that Yoongi is hurt or something went wrong, or - or what?Yoongi doesn’t know. He just feels worn out, stretched so paper thin. But despite all of that, despite the fear still inside him that this is all a joke, Yoongi wants to talk to Jungkook. He misses him, the only friend he has out here in the darkness. And he wants to hear his voice again.When Yoongi returns to the comms room, there is a screen of messages waiting for him. Jungkook seems to have sent multiple each day, trying to get in touch. That guilt Yoongi was feeling before returns again as he skims the screen.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I’m really worried

Are you okay?

Did something go wrong with the reset?

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Hyung please answer if you’re okay

Please respond

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Major Jeon Jungkook paging Colonel Min Yoongi

Please respond

I repeat, please respond

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Yoongi hyung?

Are you there?
The last messages are from a few hours ago and Yoongi sighs, rubbing at his puffy face with his hand. He shouldn’t have left Jungkook hanging like this. With no other way to contact him, Jungkook wouldn’t have any way of knowing what was going on.Just because Yoongi’s completely emotionally unstable from being by himself for more than two years, it doesn’t mean he should let that affect Jungkook. He doesn’t want him to worry just because Yoongi has unscheduled nervous breakdowns far too often.
And he shouldn’t even be having those breakdowns when this is a good thing.Scrubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, Yoongi focuses on the screen and composes a message.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Hello
Wow. He cringes immediately, is that really the best he could do? The response, however, is immediate.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Yoongi hyung?

Is that you?

Of course it’s you, what am I saying

Are you okay?
It’s clear Jungkook was worried, and that only makes Yoongi feel worse.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

I’m sorry

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

It’s okay. Are you hurt?

Is everything alright?

[PLEIADES II COMM]

I’m not hurt

I’m sorry for disappearing

I think I was just

Fuck, he feels pathetic. Yoongi is supposed to be the best of the best, but here he is, acting like a child.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

I was overwhelmed
Jungkook’s response takes a little bit longer to come through.
[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

You don’t have to apologize to me, I was just worried

I’m sure this is a lot for you, I understand why you’d be overwhelmed

[PLEIADES II COMM]

I haven’t heard another voice except in recordings in so long

I didn’t realize I’d react the way I did
Crying and sobbing and nearly making himself sick.

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

I understand

It’s okay

If the voice communication is too much, we can just use the analog messaging?
No, that’s not what Yoongi wants. Now that he’s heard Jungkook’s voice, he wants to hear it again. Even if it makes him feel nervous and overwhelmed, he wants to actually speak to another person.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

No, I’d like to talk to you

It’s just been a long time

[INTL SPACE STATION COMM]

Okay

Did you want to try now?
Gnawing on his lower lip, Yoongi hesitates with his hands over the console. He can’t keep putting it off for no reason.
[PLEIADES II COMM]

Okay
A few seconds later, Yoongi hears a beep. When he glances up at the other monitors, he sees the word Connected appear on the screen. There’s a small rush of static and then, a moment later, a voice comes through the speakers.“Yoongi hyung? It’s Jungkook.”He sounds hesitant, nervous, as if he’s afraid Yoongi will run away again.
Swallowing around a lump in his throat, Yoongi opens his mouth and wills his suddenly heavy tongue into action. “Hi Jungkook.”Yoongi’s voice cracks a little, and he sounds hoarse and raspy. Probably from crying and disuse, it’s been a long time since he’s talked to anyone except the plants in the oxygen garden.There’s a sharp intake of breath that crackles through the speakers and then, “Hyung, shit, it’s you.”“It’s me,” Yoongi confirms. “This feels…” he trails off, tilting his head back against the chair and taking a deep breath. His heart is pounding in his chest. “Sorry, I’m a little overwhelmed.”“That’s okay,” Jungkook says immediately. His voice is kind, he sounds patient and pleasant, his voice bright and alive. “I’m just really happy to finally hear your voice.”Opening his eyes again, Yoongi stares at the metal ceiling above him. “I feel the same way,” he admits. “I haven’t talked to anyone in a long time. I’m sorry I don’t know what to say.”“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jungkook responds. “I can just talk a little, if you want me to?”“Please.” Yoongi’s voice sounds small in his own ears, he wonders if Jungkook can even hear him.But he must, because Jungkook starts speaking again almost immediately. “This is informal, yeah? We don’t have to be all protocol and stuff. They probably won’t fry my ass for it, you know. Special circumstances and all that.” That makes sense, though he and Jungkook haven’t been talking formally for a while now.
“Anyway,” Jungkook continues. “I looked up that song. The Major Jeon one. Well, Major Tom, but it sounds better with Jeon, don’t you think?”Yoongi hums softly in agreement, though he’s not sure if Jungkook can hear that either.“I liked the song, but it’s kind of sad.” He pauses before continuing again. “I looked up more about it, the lyrics and everything, and I saw that the astronaut loses contact with ground control and we never really know what happened to him.”Something unpleasant flips in Yoongi’s stomach. He had forgotten that part of the song, most of the lyrics getting lost among the rest of the things in his mind. Or maybe some part of him knew, at least subconsciously, the fate of the astronaut in the song. Maybe he internalized some of it during his time here alone. Maybe he feels a little like Major Tom, or he did.
“I forgot that part,” Yoongi mumbles. What he originally felt was just a funny thing to say, now feels a lot more ominous. “I didn’t intend for it to sound like that when I was talking to you.”“I figured. It’s just one line in it, right? And I liked when you’d say it, like a joke between us.”“Yeah.” An inside joke between friends.“I asked Seokjin hyung about it,” Jungkook continues. “I’ve been talking to him.” Another pause. “We talked about you, he said you love all that old music. He said you’re like a grandpa with your music tastes.”Yoongi huffs, smiling a little despite himself. “He would say that, but he’s older than I am. He’s the grandpa.”“He said you’d say that,” Jungkook says, an edge of a laugh to his voice. “Seokjin hyung told me to tell you he can’t wait for you to come home.”Something in Yoongi’s belly flips and he blinks a few times when he feels tears burn behind his eyes again. Fuck, he misses his friends.
“I’m sure he’s furious at me,” Yoongi replies.Jungkook really does laugh this time, a bright sound that makes Yoongi think of golden sunshine and iridescent bubbles. Summer and happiness. “He says he’s going to kick your ass when he sees you again. Says you didn’t listen to him.”Be careful, Seokjin had said.“I tried,” Yoongi counters. “Hopefully he won’t go too hard on me. I’m excited to see him again too.” It’s Yoongi’s turn to laugh now, a breathless, half-hysterical thing that bubbles from his throat. “Even if this still doesn’t feel entirely real.”“It’s real,” Jungkook insists, voice earnest. “Hyung, this is all real and we’re coming to get you. The crew is on their way. I don’t want you to feel like the guy in that David Bowie song. They’re coming to get you, okay?”Swallowing down a wave of tears, Yoongi croaks out a quiet, “Okay.”“Ah, you know, hyung.” There’s a sound like the shuffling of papers, the creak of a chair. “I could even patch you into the rescue ship? I’m sure the crew on board would be happy to talk to you and reassure you?”Yoongi hesitates, worrying at his bottom lip again. “I’m not sure…”“I’m sure they’d be really happy, hyung, really. The mission commander says he knows you? Lieutenant Colonel Jung Hoseok?”A jolt goes through Yoongi and he sits up straight, hands curling around the armrests of the chair. “Jung Hoseok?”“Uh huh,” Jungkook confirms. “Can I patch him in?”“I -” Yoongi hesitates again, fingernails digging into the upholstery. He forces himself to stay calm. “Yes, okay.”“Alright.” Another sound of shuffling papers. “Hold on, let me get a connection.”There’s another burst of static, though this one isn’t quite as loud as last time. It echoes slightly, as if Jungkook has opened another communications link. Yoongi thinks it feels a little like being on speaker phone.“Atlas IV, this is Communications Officer Major Jeon Jungkook aboard the International Space Station. Atlas IV, do you read me?”Another small buzz of static, followed by a click. Then, a voice Yoongi hasn’t heard in a very long time. “Major Jeon, this is Atlas IV, Lieutenant Colonel Jung at your service. What can we do for you?”Yoongi has to press his hand over his mouth to keep from sobbing again. He never thought he would hear Hoseok’s voice again, never thought he would be able to talk to one of his oldest friends again. He sounds businesslike and official, but there’s the sweet brightness to Hoseok’s voice around the edges that Yoongi will always remember.
“Lieutenant Colonel, the Pleiades II has managed to get voice communication up and running,” Jungkook explains. “I have you patched through to Colonel Min.”There’s a long pause where no one speaks. And just when Yoongi thinks the connection must have dropped, he hears Hoseok again. “Yoongi hyung?” His voice is quiet, full of wonder. “Hyung, are you really there?”“I’m here, Hobah,” Yoongi croaks, unable to keep the wetness out of his voice as tears flow anew. “I’m here.”“Holy shit, hyung,” Hoseok makes a choked sound like he’s trying to hold back a laugh, or maybe a sob. “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice.”Smiling through his tears, Yoongi wipes clumsily at his eyes. “I think I have some idea.”“We’re on our way to get you, hyung,” Hoseok breathes. “I promise, we’re coming to rescue you. Just hold on a little longer?”A quiet sob slips past Yoongi’s lips and he hunches in on himself, trying to swallow down the next one. “Okay,” he chokes out. “I’ll wait.”“Just a little longer,” Hoseok promises.And then Jungkook, his voice wavering at the edges, adds, “Help is on the way.”When the next sob tumbles past Yoongi’s lips, both Jungkook and Hoseok are there. This time, when he breaks down and cries, Yoongi knows he isn’t alone.
｡･:*˚:✧｡After the few days spent curled in his bunk, Yoongi returns to his normal routine. For the time he’s been alone, Yoongi’s routine has been something that kept him functioning. Developing a schedule for himself and sticking to it is probably one of the main things that’s kept him sane and alive for this long.An alarm wakes him in the “morning” and Yoongi eats a breakfast of vegetables and some sort of protein gel that almost tastes like blueberries. He cleans up after himself and then washes up, performing his normal self-care tasks. Looking in the mirror isn’t always Yoongi’s favorite thing to do, he tends to look gaunt and exhausted. There’s a hollowness in his cheeks and his eyes that make him look a little haunted.But Yoongi still runs a razor over the stubble on his chin and cleans his face and brushes his teeth. He runs a comb through his hair that he knows is much too long, and puts on a fresh set of coveralls.Once Yoongi’s day is officially started, he usually spends time in the oxygen garden. It’s one of the tasks he enjoys the most, tending to the plants in the garden and harvesting any ripe produce. The garden has kept him fed and with a steady supply of oxygen for the duration of his trip and Yoongi is grateful to all the little plants.He used to talk to them while he worked, murmuring what was most likely nonsense. Part of it was for the need to speak, have someone, or something to talk to. And another part was a memory of Namjoon, an avid keeper of bonsais and little plants, telling him that plants grow better if you were kind to them. So Yoongi is kind, he waters them and prunes them, and asks them how they slept.
After his time in the garden, Yoongi does his basic maintenance task. There’s no shortage of things to check and he runs through a list with VAN, checking things off as he goes. Checking and maintaining the water recycling and production systems, reviewing all the life support systems and protocols. Checking for any hull damage or wear from the endless orbit he’s stuck in.He doesn’t do every task every day, some he does every other day or once a week. Like safety drills and checking over the suits he uses for spacewalks. General cleaning tasks and maintaining the rest of the ship’s systems all fall on various days and Yoongi does them based on the lists.
In reality, he doesn’t have much of a concept of days. He has no idea what day of the week it is, often doesn’t really know the time. Yoongi just relies on VAN and his ever-looping schedule to keep him on routine and keep him moving.
It helps, Yoongi thinks, when things are especially difficult or he’s especially lonely. Everything is on schedule. Sleeping, eating, exercise, basic tasks that keep him alive. There is even scheduled meditation and relaxation time, most of which Yoongi uses to send messages from the comms room or stare out the moon window.The ship could sustain Yoongi for years and years, as long as he keeps up his routine. So Yoongi doesn’t falter, even when things feel repetitive and grating. He goes through the same steps, does the same tasks, nothing really changing or deviating from the norm. Except…Except now, Yoongi can talk to Jungkook while he does these things. Instead of being alone, Yoongi can listen to Jungkook tell him stories or he can talk to Jungkook instead of the plants. And he can know, for sure now, that help is on the way. The names and numbers of days have not held much importance in a long time, but now the countdown that flashes on the console, the countdown to the arrival of Hoseok and the Atlas IV, is at the forefront of Yoongi’s mind.｡･:*˚:✧｡“Aren’t you tired?” Jungkook asks, his voice a low murmur.
Yoongi doesn’t respond right away, pulling his blanket more tightly around his shoulders. He’s floating in the moon window again, staring out into the darkness. In the shorts and t-shirt he usually sleeps in, Yoongi feels strangely cold. The ambient temperature of the ship is self-regulated to always be optimal, but sometimes Yoongi still feels chilled to the bone. The blanket floats around him, warming the parts of Yoongi it encloses.He doesn’t sleep well. He hasn’t in a long time. Not since he became stuck here. Not since he gave up hope. Even having some sort of hope now, he still can’t sleep. He is still afraid.“I’m tired,” Yoongi confirms.And he thinks he sounds it, his voice low and raspy, slightly slurred around the edges. The weariness there, weighing on him. It feels heavy enough that Yoongi feels like it could pull him out of the zero gravity he’s in. Like it’s almost strong enough to press him into the floor.
“Are you still having a hard time sleeping?”“Yes,” Yoongi murmurs. “Sorry, I’m probably keeping you awake.”It wasn’t too much of a hassle to patch the comms systems throughout the ship. Yoongi barely had to do any work to connect it with the intercom network. Now, he can hear Jungkook’s voice anywhere, talk to him no matter where he is on the ship.And for his own part, Jungkook had switched up the line he used to talk to Yoongi. It was a simple patch through, moving from the official, monitored lines to his own personal communication line used to talk to friends and family. It’s still monitored, or at least recorded. But there is much less chance of anyone listening in and scolding Jungkook for clogging lines or breaching protocols.It feels a little easier to talk to Jungkook without the thought of someone listening or watching. Yoongi can share a little more of himself, enjoy the sweet cadence of Jungkook’s voice when they talk about anything and nothing.“It’s alright,” Jungkook says gently. “I’m just in my bunk but we can still talk. I could tell you a bedtime story?”Yoongi smiles to himself, curling his legs up until he’s in a ball. “One about a princess?”A soft burst of laughter comes through the speakers around the room and Yoongi smiles again, closing his eyes as the sound reverberates around him. Like this, he can almost imagine Jungkook is here with him.
“I don’t think I know any stories about princesses, but I could tell you about my friends, some funny stories? Have I told you about Jimin and Taehyung?”The names sound familiar and Yoongi has to search his sleep-sluggish brain until it clicks. “That’s who you thought I was at first,” he responds, opening his eyes again. “Right?”“Yeah, and I’m still sorry about that,” Jungkook chuckles again. “They’re always joking around and doing ridiculous things. I swear, I have no idea how they haven’t been fired, or at least gotten in a shit load of trouble yet. They once almost convinced me that aliens were about to attack the station!”“Aliens?” Yoongi echoes. It’s his turn to laugh now, chuckling into the edge of his blanket. “Jungkook-ah, really?”“Ah, hyung,” Jungkook whines. “Don’t tease, they were really convincing!”Tucking the blanket around him as well as he can, Yoongi lets his eyes fall closed. As Jungkook continues on, launching into his story, Yoongi feels himself relaxing. He’s found himself able to relax a little more often lately. It’s easier to relax, easier even to fall asleep, when he can hear Jungkook’s voice.When he has Jungkook speaking softly all around him, the metal walls of the ship do not feel as cold. The vastness of space does not feel quite so empty.｡･:*˚:✧｡“The soil is exceptionally nitrogen rich,” Yoongi is saying, fingers buried in the dirt around a tomato plant. “I’ve been able to grow a lot of herbs and produce in the garden, it was one of my research projects for the mission.”Jungkook hums, clearly interested. “Did you expect the plants to do so well?”“Honestly, not really,” Yoongi admits. “I have lights to simulate the sun and a self-filtering irrigation system, but I didn’t think I would be able to grow so many different varieties of plants, or that they would thrive so much.”“It’s impressive,” Jungkook replies. “They’ve been talking about adding an oxygen garden to the space station here if they can work out the logistics. I’m sure they’ll want your input when you’re back.”When you’re back. Yoongi blinks, considering Jungkook’s words. It still surprises him, even after months of first communicating, weeks of being able to talk like this. Even now, when Yoongi knows, intrinsically, that someone is coming, he forgets sometimes. He smiles to himself as he pulls his hands out of the soil, sitting back on his heels.“I’m sure they’ll want to ask me a lot of things,” Yoongi replies.
The sheer amount of questions and debriefs he’s sure to go through has not been lost on Yoongi. While the mission, overall, was a failure, Yoongi will still return alive and have a lot of information to provide. He’s not entirely sure what his status with the military and the government will be when he returns, maybe they’ll discharge him and send him to civilian life. Maybe they’ll promote him and call him a hero.Both possibilities sound equally ridiculous. They’ll probably give him a desk job somewhere and maybe some sort of special medal or plaque. For his own part, Yoongi thinks he just wants to rest for a while with his feet flat on the ground.“Can you tell me about all the plants you’ve grown? Are you eating big fancy salads for every meal?”Smiling to himself, Yoongi begins harvesting a batch of ripe cherry tomatoes. “Something like that, if only I had salad dressing. I’ve been able to grow lots of different things.”It’s probably boring, listening to Yoongi talk about the different herbs and vegetables he’s been growing on his ship. But Jungkook doesn’t seem to think so, he makes noises to show he is listening and interested, asks follow up questions. He makes Yoongi feel like his boring, repetitive days are something to actually be discussed.Talking to Jungkook while he works and goes about his day has been a welcome addition to Yoongi’s days. It’s nice to have someone to interact with, to have someone actually respond to the things Yoongi says. Now it’s not just Yoongi asking the plants how they slept, it’s Yoongi asking Jungkook that. And it’s Jungkook asking Yoongi the same thing in return.They get closer like this, learning more about one another. Jungkook tells stories about his time on the space station and talks about his friends and family. He asks Yoongi questions about his life before the mission, about his hobbies when he’s not stuck orbiting a moon.
“Seokjin hyung and I became friends after I finished my astronaut training,” Jungkook explains. “We were assigned to the same facility and I met hyung on my first day there. One of the women in my orientation group said that he looked like a movie star.”Yoongi snorts and leans back to wipe his forehead. He’s doing maintenance on the water filtration system, head ducked into the control panel while Jungkook talks. “God, don’t tell Seokjin that,” he laughs. “His head is already big enough. If it gets any bigger, not even his stupidly broad shoulders will be able to support it.”“It’s probably close to having its own gravitational pull,” Jungkook responds with his own giggle.
Jungkook is kind and funny and his laugh is so bright. It makes Yoongi feel warm, makes him laugh in turn, something he hasn’t really done in a long time. Yoongi finds himself smiling to himself far more often, feeling less weighed down and listless with each day.When their laughter dies down, Jungkook continues on. “He’s been good to me though, some guys were going to try to haze me or something and Seokjin stopped them. I’m not always the best with new people but he took me under his wing. He’s a really good guy.”“He is, isn’t he?” Yoongi has missed his friends for a long time now, misses them even more now. It’s like an ache starting behind his ribs. “Seokjin and I have been friends for years, we were stationed together way back when we were younger.”“He told me that,” Jungkook replies. “He said he knows all your secrets.”Rolling his eyes, Yoongi ducks back into the control panel. “I don’t have any secrets. He does though, like his giant crush on Kim Namjoon.”“Oh! A crush? That must mean you don’t -” Jungkook cuts himself off.Yoongi blinks and withdraws from the panel again, wrench in hand. “Don’t what?”“I didn’t really think about how much you must have missed,” Jungkook says guiltily. “They’re dating, they have been for a while. I actually think it was right around the time your, um, ship lost contact. They got together shortly after that.”Huh. That’s definitely new information. And it hurts, makes Yoongi’s chest twinge a little more. That ache only grows when he imagines all the things he has missed out on, how much he doesn’t know. “Well, I guess it’s good to know that my disappearance had one good outcome.”“Hyung,” Jungkook says gently. “I’m sorry.”Sighing, Yoongi slumps and sets down his wrench. He leans back on his hands, staring blankly at the wall in front of himself. “It’s okay, Jungkook. I like hearing about them, I just hate how much time I’ve lost.”With a mission that would take a year and a half, Yoongi expected to miss out on things or be a little out of the loop. But he still should have been able to keep in contact with his friends and family while he was here, if the satellites hadn’t been damaged.
He’s been able to talk to them a little now, mostly letters and messages relayed through Jungkook. The satellite links and communication systems are still not perfect, and successfully connecting to anywhere other than the space station hasn’t been possible so far. Yoongi is still cut off, but at least he has Jungkook to talk to.“I can tell you more about them, if you want?” Jungkook offers tentatively. “They’re pretty gross together, Yoongi hyung.”What Yoongi should focus on is the fact that, soon enough, he’ll be back home. He’ll be able to talk to his friends and family and get all these updates for real. Yoongi will be able to see Seokjin and Namjoon and give them shit in person, will be able to hug his parents.
And, Yoongi will get to meet Jungkook.｡･:*˚:✧｡Counting down the days feels strange. Just a few months and Yoongi will no longer be lost and alone out here. He never thought this would happen, had given up on the possibility of being found and rescued.But it’s coming. Jungkook reassures him nearly every day, and Yoongi has spoken to Hoseok. They are on their way to him.That still doesn’t make it feel entirely real. There are still times when Yoongi questions if it’s all a dream, all a hallucination. Maybe he’ll wake up from a fitful sleep and none of that will be real. He’ll still be trapped alone. But then he hears Jungkook’s voice, and those worries are chased away.Because rescue is coming. Yoongi will be going home. Though… maybe he’s afraid of that too. Afraid for that moment. It’s been so long that he’s been alone, he’s afraid for what will come after.｡･:*˚:✧｡“I’ve been so afraid,” Yoongi whispers to the darkness inside his bunk. He is curled up small in the sleeping bag, strapped into the bunk. Despite the warm cocoon around him, he shivers.
“I know,” a voice whispers back. Jungkook, there to listen, there to respond.Like this, Yoongi is not just whispering his fears and anxieties into the void. Like this, someone can hear him.They’ve had the connection open for a while now, talking on and off as they both got ready for bed. Neither of them suggested disconnecting when they got into their respective bunks. Despite having Jungkook’s voice in his ears, Yoongi feels particularly lonely tonight. Maybe Jungkook can tell.Because even though Jungkook’s voice is thick with drowsiness, he doesn’t leave Yoongi alone. And when he talks, spilling out his feelings like the black vastness of space beyond the windows, Jungkook listens.“I’ve been so lonely out here,” Yoongi goes on. “I was always introverted, did fine by myself. This mission didn’t sound too bad, alone for a year and a half, still able to communicate. And it wasn’t so bad when I could still talk to command or my family and friends, but maybe I was naive.” Naive to think that he could survive in complete solitude.“I was always fascinated by space when I was younger,” Yoongi murmurs, tucking his chin to his chest. “Being an astronaut was all I ever wanted. I’ve done plenty of missions, this shouldn’t have been different.” He laughs, a humorless sound. “Hubris.”“None of this was your fault,” Jungkook says gently. “And no one can always know how they’ll react to new, unforeseen situations.”It’s true, Yoongi knows Jungkook is right. But that doesn’t always make things feel better.“I only have a few close friends back on Earth, I spent a lot of time by myself. But I never expected this.” Yoongi blinks in the darkness, feeling the weight of metal all around him. “It’s like nothing else.”So completely alone, with no hope left. Yoongi had never imagined the crushing depth to the despair he could feel.
“There were so many days when I thought I’d die all alone out here,” Yoongi admits. “That I’d be forgotten.”Jungkook makes a soft, strangled sound. “You’re not going to die out here, hyung,” Jungkook responds, his voice almost pleading. “You’re coming home and no one will forget you. I’ll never be able to forget you. Please don’t be afraid.”A whimper crawls past Yoongi’s lips before he can swallow it down. When he speaks again, his voice is wet. “I’m so afraid, I’m always afraid. Afraid no one will come, afraid someone will come. That everything will change.”“You are so brave, Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook breathes. His voice is rough around the edges now, like he is close to tears. “You’re so strong and amazing.”Yoongi doesn’t think those things are true. He feels like a broken shell of a person, just a wisp of the confident man he used to be.“And you’re not alone anymore,” Jungkook promises. “I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”That night, Yoongi cries himself to sleep. Soft sobs that shake his shoulders and feel like they’re pulled from deep within his soul. He cries and Jungkook is there, whispering comfort and promises, until Yoongi finally falls asleep.｡･:*˚:✧｡When he wakes the next morning, Yoongi feels raw and vulnerable. He didn’t mean to get so candid, say so much. There are just times when it all overflows, when the pain and fear seem to burst out of Yoongi and he can’t seem to control it. And Jungkook was there, with his soft voice and gentle words, soothing him. Yoongi couldn’t help but let it all out.The morning is mostly quiet. Yoongi does not initiate conversation as he gets up and goes about his routine. There’s no communication from Jungkook as well and Yoongi wonders if Jungkook is maybe giving him space, or, instead, if the night before was too much.I’m here with you, Jungkook had promised. But Yoongi’s hands still tremble all day and he feels on edge until finally, when he’s working in the garden, Jungkook’s voice comes through the speakers.“Yoongi hyung?” Just his name, a question, spoken softly and tentatively. And then, “Can we talk?”Yoongi takes his time responding. He leans away from the garden bed he was working in, sitting back on his heels and wiping his hands on his pants. Part of Yoongi wants to remain silent, doesn’t want to have to talk about the things he said the night before. But this is Jungkook.“We can talk,” Yoongi says finally.There’s a momentary silence and then Jungkook’s voice again. “I wasn’t sure you’d answer.”Tilting his head toward the ceiling, Yoongi chews on the inside of his cheek as he considers his words. “I feel like you’ve done a lot of listening to me cry.”“Maybe,” Jungkook responds. “But I think anyone would cry in your situation. You don’t need to be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable around me.” Another pause, when Jungkook speaks again, his voice is lower, like he’s divulging a secret. “I cry sometimes too. Maybe more than I should.”Yoongi pushes himself to his feet, standing for a moment beneath the bright lights in the ceiling. If he closes his eyes, sometimes he can almost pretend he’s beneath the sun. “I think it’s okay to cry,” Yoongi says carefully. “I’m sorry if I made it sound like it’s not. I just - I feel a little pathetic.”“I don’t think you’re pathetic,” Jungkook says immediately. “Do you think I’m pathetic for crying?”“No, of course not.” Yoongi moves toward the door, palming the console to let him out of the room. He steps into the hallway and the gravity from the previous room vanishes, Yoongi beginning to float. “I’m sorry.”“You don’t need to apologize.” Jungkook audibly sighs, taking a few seconds before he continues. “I know it’s not the same, because I haven’t been through what you have, but sometimes I feel similar things.”The ambient sounds of the ship seem quieter when Jungkook is speaking, as if everything hushes to listen to him. Yoongi does as well, taking in his words and mulling them over. “You feel lonely too?”“All the time,” Jungkook admits.Oh. Yoongi blinks, reaching for one of the hand holds on the wall and pulling himself forward. “You’re not alone on the station though -” He cuts himself off, cringing immediately. “I’m sorry, that sounded shitty.”“It didn’t,” Jungkook counters. “I get it, I told you it’s not the same. But my circumstances aren’t ideal either.”“Do you -” Yoongi pauses in his reach for another handhold. It feels like Jungkook is giving him an opportunity here, offering something of himself. Yoongi wants to take it. “Will you tell me?”There’s a momentary silence, then Jungkook speaks again, his voice soft. “I’ve been on the space station for a long time,” he begins. “Usually it’s rotations of a couple of months, different crew up here doing all sorts of research. But I’m a communications officer and somehow that’s different.”Yoongi knows what the space station rotation is like, he’s done it himself. But it’s usually not all that long. Though… Now that he considers it, Jungkook has been communicating with him for a while now, and he has always made it sound like he’s been up for a while. “How long?”“Just over a year,” Jungkook replies. “I think I’ve forgotten what solid ground feels like.”“That’s a long time,” Yoongi murmurs. He stops at the end of the hallway, pressing his palm against the panel to open the door to his bunk room.
Jungkook snorts and Yoongi imagines him shaking his head. “Not as long as you, hyung.”“It doesn’t have to be a competition,” Yoongi counters gently.A pause, and then, “I guess you’re right. Maybe I’m overthinking it. And it’s not like I’m actually alone,” Jungkook continues. “There are always other people on the station, they just don’t stay. It’s like a revolving door of other astronauts so it’s really hard to get close to people.”“I’m like you,” Jungkook continues. “I’m introverted and don’t really have many friends. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want friends or people to talk to. It’s just difficult to form any sort of connection or friendship when everyone is busy and then they leave after a couple months.”“I understand,” Yoongi responds. In the safety of his bunk room, Yoongi wriggles into his sleeping berth, securing the strap over his belly. “Sometimes you don’t realize how much you actually want to talk to other people until you don’t have the option.”Through the speakers, he hears Jungkook make a soft sound of agreement. “I have Jimin and Taehyung back home, and Seokjin hyung too. But I haven't been home in so long and it’s hard to have normal conversations or feel connected to my friends when I’m a few hundred miles above Earth. I haven’t been home in so long and it’s hard to keep up communication when I’m busy and they’re busy and everything is so far away.” He cuts himself off with a frustrated huff.“Hyung, can I tell you a secret?”Curling up on his side, Yoongi closes his eyes, pretending Jungkook is beside him, whispering these secrets right to him. “Of course.”“I think you’re my best friend,” Jungkook whispers. “You’re the person I’m the closest to and that I connect with the most, the one I want to talk to the most.”Something in Yoongi’s stomach flips, a fuzzy, squirmy feeling that makes his toes curl. Yoongi opens his eyes, lifting a hand to touch his face, realize he’s smiling. “I feel the same way,” Yoongi responds, and then, “But I don’t really have much choice in the matter.”Jungkook laughs then, a surprised bark of laughter that feels loud in the quiet of Yoongi’s bunk room. His smile widens and he wraps his arms around his middle. Jungkook has a really nice laugh. He wonders if Jungkook knows that.Just to be sure, Yoongi tells him. “I like your laugh.”“I like yours too,” Jungkook responds. “And the sound of your voice. It’s just - I don’t know, something about it that feels like a hug. It’s been a long time since I’ve hugged anyone.”Yoongi hums in agreement. “I don’t think I even remember how it feels to be touched. Hell, I don’t even remember how it feels to be close to someone else.” He cuts off, swallowing hard. “I miss it.” And, more quietly, “I feel so cold all the time.”“I miss it too. Maybe… I could help?”“How?”
There’s a pause, and Yoongi can sense Jungkook’s hesitation even through the speakers. When he speaks, his voice is low again. “Do you - do you ever touch yourself?”Yoongi jolts in his berth, stretching out straight as his eyes open wide in shock. Is Jungkook asking him if he ever… if he…“I -” Yoongi’s voice cracks on the word and he cuts off, snapping his mouth closed.
He does sometimes, touch himself. It’s more out of biological necessity, or maybe boredom. Habit. But none of it ever feels particularly good, it never feels quite like release.“I -” Yoongi starts again, hesitating to respond, but - “Yes,” he says finally. “Sometimes, but it’s not really… good.”His cheeks burn, Yoongi can feel it. God this feels embarrassing, he can’t believe they’re talking about this. But at the same time… his cheeks aren’t the only place Yoongi feels hot. He squirms a little in his berth, pressing his thighs together.When Jungkook speaks again, his voice is lower, the timbre of it seeming to crawl down Yoongi’s back. “I could help,” he murmurs and Yoongi’s skin prickles with goosebumps. “If you want me to.”This is not something Yoongi expected, never in a million years did he expect the friend he’s made here, at the end of the world to want to… What? Have some sort of intergalactic phone sex with him? Is it because Jungkook feels bad for him?“Is this pity?” Yoongi squeezes his eyes closed, embarrassed.
“Of course it’s not pity,” Jungkook says immediately. “We’re both touch starved, we’re both lonely. And I like you, hyung, a lot. Maybe this way… things could feel a little better?”In the time they’ve been talking, Yoongi knows they’ve grown closer. They’ve shared a lot of their personal lives, talked about deeper things, worries and fears and dreams. He’s grown attached to Jungkook and maybe, in some ways, Yoongi has fallen in love with him. Some sort of love. Because Jungkook is here and he is sweet and kind.But that could just be the abject depression and loneliness talking. Though Yoongi kind of hopes that isn’t the case…Has Jungkook been flirting with him? In the times when they talk, could any of it be considered flirty? The question is too difficult for Yoongi to answer right now, but when he thinks back on all their conversations… Maybe?
“Hyung?”Yoongi blinks, trying to focus. He feels warm all over, and despite his anxiety and worries, his underwear is definitely starting to feel a little tighter. A kernel of need pulses low in his belly and Yoongi swallows hard.“We don’t even know what each other looks like,” Yoongi points out, still hesitant. “I’m definitely nothing special right now.”
He probably barely looks human.“Ah, actually, I know what you look like.”Jungkook knows - “What?”“Or, at least, what you looked like before your mission,” Jungkook corrects. “There are articles about you and there’s your official picture on the government pages and…” he trails off. “I’ve looked you up, I wanted to know who I was talking to.”“Oh.” Yoongi doesn’t have that luxury, doesn’t get to know what Jungkook looks like. But… He doesn’t entirely think he needs to. Yoongi feels like he can almost picture Jungkook in his head. Like he can imagine Jungkook’s smile and how bright it would be.“Yoongi hyung?” Jungkook prompts again. When Yoongi doesn’t respond right away, Jungkook goes on. “I thought you looked really good in your pictures, really handsome.”
Handsome?A pause, Jungkook’s voice drops even lower. “You’re so pretty.”There is a burning behind Yoongi’s eyes, pressure in his head. He blinks quickly, swallowing down the sudden rush of emotions. Jungkook thinks he’s pretty.“Thank you,” Yoongi whispers.“You’re so pretty, hyung,” Jungkook breathes, voice earnest as a prayer. “I wish I could see you right now, could touch you. Would you let me touch you?”With how touch starved Yoongi is, he’d welcome almost any touch right now. But the idea of it being Jungkook sends a thrill through him. He squirms in his berth again, the kernel of need in his belly growing to an ember.“I would let you,” Yoongi says finally. He squeezes his eyes closed, squeezing his thighs together. The little bit of friction sends pinpricks of pleasure along Yoongi’s skin. “I want to touch you too.”“I want that too,” Jungkook divulges. “Want to be able to kiss you and touch you, let you touch me. I want to make you feel good.”When was the last time Yoongi felt good? In any sense of the word. It’s been a long time.“I want to feel good,” Yoongi admits.A stuttered breath comes over the speakers and then Jungkook’s voice again. “Maybe we can help each other then, like I said? Do you want to?”“Yes,” Yoongi whispers. “I want you.”That’s clear from the way his body is already responding. Just from the low rumble of Jungkook’s voice like this, from the idea of someone touching him. From the idea of Jungkook touching him.“I don’t -” Yoongi shifts, curling in on himself. “I don’t know if I know how to do this anymore.”“That’s okay,” Jungkook says gently. “I can start? Talk you through it?”“Okay.”“Should I ask what you’re wearing?”Yoongi snorts, smiling despite the nervous flutter in his belly. “Jungkook-ah.”“Okay, okay.” Jungkook chuckles and the sound is low, sending another flutter of heat to Yoongi’s belly. “Are you in bed now?”“Yes,” Yoongi replies. Bed is used loosely here. It’s more of a sleeping bag to keep Yoongi from floating away, but it’s still comfortable enough. “I’m on my side,” he adds, feeling silly when he does.“I want you to touch yourself,” Jungkook begins. “On your arms, your chest and belly, your thighs.”That’s not exactly what Yoongi expected, he thought Jungkook would tell him to touch himself somewhere else, but… He does as he’s told.
“Just use your fingertips,” Jungkook adds.Yoongi obeys, closing his eyes and running the tips of his fingers over his arms. Goosebumps immediately burst along his skin and he shivers, curling his toes. It tickles a little, the touch featherlight. If Yoongi keeps his eyes closed, he can almost imagine it’s someone else’s fingers.“That’s it,” Jungkook murmurs. “Now your chest, your nipples.”Slipping his hands beneath the thin shirt he’s wearing, Yoongi traces his fingers up his chest. He’s more sensitive than he imagined he would be, a gasp spilling from his lips unbidden.
“Feel good?”“Yes,” Yoongi breathes, circling his nipples with his fingertips. They harden under his touch and heat fills his chest, sinking lower, pooling in his belly as Jungkook continues talking, praising him.His nipples aren’t the only thing hard at this point. Yoongi’s almost fully hard already, and just from these few, soft touches. Just from the sound of Jungkook’s voice leading his movements. It feels kind of nice to let go, to have someone else tell him what to do. Jungkook’s voice is sweet and sensual as he tells Yoongi to touch his belly, running his fingers just above the waistband of his shorts.“Oh,” Yoongi breathes, stomach muscles jumping beneath his touch. He wriggles in the sleeping bag, uncurling his body just to curl up smaller, hunch in on himself. Electricity dances along his skin, making his breath hitch.“You sound so pretty,” Jungkook murmurs.
Is it his imagination that Jungkook’s voice sounds a little more breathy? That he sounds a little affected? Maybe he’s touching himself too…But Yoongi doesn’t have a chance to ask before Jungkook is speaking again, guiding him lower. “Touch your legs, your thighs.”Letting out a shaky breath, Yoongi does as Jungkook says. He lets himself be guided, traces his hands from his knees to his thighs, slipping beneath the fabric of his shots. He walks his fingers up the insides of his thighs, teases along the edge of his briefs.
Yoongi’s body feels like a live wire. He doesn't think he’s ever felt this sensitive before. It’s like his skin is raw and fresh, every touch making him squirm and sigh, making him pant as he gets closer to where he truly wants to be touched. Where he wants Jungkook to touch him.
His cock is achingly hard, throbbing beneath the layers of fabric. There’s stickiness in his underwear, his cock no doubt drooling everywhere. Yoongi has no idea when the last time he’s been so turned on was. Sure, he gets hard sometimes, jerks off out of boredom or necessity or whatever.
But this is different, it feels so much different. His body on fire, the need in his belly like a living thing. Yoongi wants and craves and Jungkook’s soft voice is only making him ache for more. To be touched and caressed and kissed. To fill the throbbing ache in him, to make him see stars brighter than the ones outside the moon window.“Jungkook,” Yoongi rasps, a plea. He’s not entirely sure what he’s asking for, but he needs more than this. It is not enough and Yoongi is starting to feel desperate.“Ah, hyung.” Jungkook’s voice is a low purr. “You sound so pretty. Want to hear more of you, do you want more?”“Yes.”Jungkook makes a soft sound, half a sigh and half a moan. At this point, Yoongi is almost sure he’s touching himself too. “Are you wearing pants?”“Shorts,” Yoongi responds. “And a t-shirt.”“Mm,” Jungkook hums in acknowledgement. “Touch yourself over your shorts.”Yoongi doesn’t waste any time in following the command, removing one hand from his thigh to palm himself through his shorts. He can’t help the moan he lets out as he cups his cock through the fabric, toes curling from the sudden stimulation. It makes his head spin, like all the blood in his body has suddenly rushed to between his legs. The rush of arousal is dizzying and Yoongi’s cock throbs beneath his hand.“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts, a hiss slipping through his teeth. “Keep going.”When Yoongi does this alone, there’s no teasing. There’s no build up to it or anything like this. Most of the time he doesn’t even take off his clothes, just shoves his hand into his underwear and fists his cock. It’s barely even about the pleasure most of the time, just a means to an unsatisfying end, over as quickly as Yoongi can make it happen.But Yoongi doesn’t want this to be over quickly. Not with the way the touch burns, even through two layers of fabric. And not with the way Jungkook sounds as he tells Yoongi to keep palming himself, to press harder, then lighter, tease himself. This end, Yoongi thinks, is not going to be unsatisfying.Time seems to bend and warp, Yoongi losing track of his surroundings. It is only the pleasure in his body, the sound of Jungkook’s voice, Yoongi’s own panted breaths. The sounds he’s making are probably embarrassing, but Yoongi doesn’t try to stifle them. He’s trembling too hard anyway, and too focused on touching himself.With everything else fading away, Yoongi’s not sure how much time passes before Jungkook finally tells him to take off his shorts. “I want you to feel good,” Jungkook murmurs.“I do,” Yoongi breathes. He has to force himself to pull his hand away, focusing on hooking his fingers in his waistband, shoving his shorts and briefs down to his knees.“If I was there, I’d make you feel so good,” Jungkook says, and it sounds like a promise. “Kiss you everywhere, touch every inch of you. By the time I finally got my hands and mouth on your cock, you’d be begging.”Yoongi feels pretty close to begging right now, squirming where he’s still curled on his side. Squeezing his eyes tightly closed, Yoongi trails his fingers along his thighs as Jungkook speaks. Goosebumps pebble his skin as he imagines it’s Jungkook’s fingers teasing up toward his aching cock.“Want to get my hand around your cock,” Jungkook purrs. “Make you squirm. I want to see what you look like when you come for me.” A whimper slips out of Yoongi’s mouth and Jungkook speaks again, “Pretend it’s me touching you now, let me touch you.”The first touch of his fingers has Yoongi jolting. It feels like an electric shock shooting up his spine, every hair on his body standing on end. He gasps, curling in on himself more tightly as he wraps a fist around his cock.
“Oh god,” Yoongi chokes, hand contracting around himself. The added pressure only adds to the pleasure and he moans, trying to remember how to breathe.“Just like that,” Jungkook praises. “Do you like the way I touch you?”Like this, with Jungkook’s voice all around him, Yoongi can pretend he really is here. He can pretend it’s not his own hand on himself, but Jungkook’s. That Jungkook is here beside him, and Yoongi is not alone.“Yes,” Yoongi breathes, “Jungkook…”Yoongi cuts off on another moan as he gives himself an experimental stroke. Another wave of pleasure flows over him, the heat in his belly growing in strength. The head of his cock is sticky with precum, his slit practically drooling on his fingers. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this wet and needy before, sure that his briefs must be drenched.“Hyung,” Jungkook croaks, his own voice cracking a little. “Feels so good.”It’s definitely clear that Jungkook must be touching himself now too. And he’s clearly affected, maybe almost as much as Yoongi is. It sends another jolt along Yoongi’s spine, has his cock throbbing in his hand. Despite how badly Yoongi wants to draw this out and make it last, he feels dangerously close to the edge already.Swallowing hard, Yoongi tries to force his suddenly clumsy tongue into action. “Jungkook, ‘m not gonna last,” he slurs, the words tumbling past his slack lips.“That’s okay,” Jungkook replies. “I’m close too, you’re making me feel good.”God, the sounds Yoongi is making must be ridiculous. The whine that comes out of him at those words is mortifying. But that’s something to worry about later, when Jungkook is not purring in his ear about how pretty he is, how he wants Yoongi to feel so good.Yoongi strokes himself in earnest, squeezing his eyes tightly closed as he listens to Jungkook’s voice, his moans over the speakers. Like this, they can come together, they can take care of one another. Touch starved and aching with need, Yoongi can feel pressure building low in groin, heat flowing like magma beneath his skin.Everything is hot and wet, Yoongi’s hips starting to jerk, fucking his cock into the tight confines of his hand - No, Jungkook’s hand. Because with Jungkook’s voice in his ear, sweet murmurs of just like that, let go, come for me, it is no longer Yoongi’s hands on his body. The hand around his cock, the one creeping up his chest to pinch at a nipple, roll it between calloused fingertips is Jungkook’s.And when Yoongi tumbles over the edge with a sound more like a sob than a moan, it’s Jungkook bringing him there. Pleasure crashes over him, a real release like Yoongi hasn’t felt in so, so long. He can hear Jungkook through the speakers, letting out a broken moan as he, too, must tumble over the edge.It takes a few seconds, or maybe minutes, hours, for Yoongi to come down from his high. His heart pounds and his breath is ragged, a roaring filling his ears. Belatedly, he realizes his cheeks are wet. When he lifts his unsoiled hand to touch them, he finds that he's crying.He’s not sure how long he’s been doing that, doesn’t remember starting. But as he becomes aware of it, another soft sob slips past his lips. The tears come easily then and Yoongi curls in on himself once more, weeping in the darkness. He can’t make sense of everything he’s feeling. Relief and something almost like happiness, but the loneliness is setting in again, twice as strong now that reality creeps in again.But Jungkook’s voice comes to him, soothing and soft. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “I’m right here, hyung. I’m here.”And he is, but at the same time, he isn’t.｡･:*˚:✧｡Things are okay after, they are, surprisingly, not weird. Yoongi expected things to be awkward, to feel embarrassed, maybe even ashamed. But when he wakes the next morning, Yoongi feels lighter. And when Jungkook’s sleepy voice comes through the speakers, he only asks how Yoongi slept.He is kind and sweet, coaxing Yoongi out of the protective shell he’s built around himself. After so many months, fuck, years of pain, it’s nice to feel something else for a change. It’s nice to feel a subtle warmth, to feel wanted and understood. It’s nice to have Jungkook.Maybe it happens again. Once, maybe twice, a few times. When everything else is quiet and they steal some moments together. Yoongi is thankful for the private communication line Jungkook has, even though he’s sure it’s not entirely private. But Yoongi finds he doesn’t care, barely muffling his choked moans when he hears Jungkook groan for him.Like this, when it’s dark and it’s just Jungkook’s voice, his stuttered breaths, things feel different. Yoongi can close his eyes and pretend it is someone else touching him. He can pretend the hand around himself isn’t his own, that the murmured warmth and praise over the speakers is directly in his ear. Yoongi can imagine it is Jungkook, and not himself. He can feel safe and cherished and… and maybe loved.
In the darkness when they both come down from their highs, he can curl into himself and listen to the cadence of Jungkook’s breathing. He can whisper his own praise, pretend they are together and this is all real.And there’s more, of course there’s more. They still talk, they talk all the time. Even when Jungkook has other duties, he’s still talking to Yoongi. They talk throughout their days, before they sleep, in the morning when they wake up. Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever talked to anyone as much as he talks to Jungkook, and he still craves more.They play games too, find ways to pass the time, to distract each other from the loneliness of their lives. Simple things, like tic tac toe and hangman. Yoongi is sure Jungkook cheats, but he always denies it. And Yoongi doesn’t really care anyway.Time passes to the day when the rescue crew will arrive, months tick down to weeks, tick down to days. The numbers on Yoongi’s countdown grow smaller and things start to feel more present and real. It’s when there’s just a few days remaining, when the crew of the Atlas IV says they’re nearly there, when Jungkook brings up something new.“I’ve been given new orders,” Jungkook tells him.Yoongi is floating in front of the moon window, taking small bites off a protein bar that tastes bland and chalky. He chews thoughtfully, swallowing his mouthful. “Oh?”“They’re sending me back to Earth, a new comms officer is going to replace me. I’ve finished my rotation.”Something sinks in Yoongi’s belly and he swallows again, throat suddenly dry. “That’s good, this is what you wanted, right? To go back to Earth?”“Yeah, I’m looking forward to walking on solid ground again, to seeing my family.”“That’s good. I just -” Yoongi hesitates, tongue pressing into the inside of his cheeks. “I just was hoping you would be there,” he continues, forcing himself to say the words. “When the rescue ship docks again at the space station.”The protein bar sits heavy in Yoongi’s stomach, disappointment weighs on him. But Jungkook speaks before he can get too upset, “I’ll still be there, hyung. I told you I would.”“But you -”“I asked to have the orders deferred, made it conditional. They’ll let me stay for another eight months, until you’re back.” Yoongi feels like he can hear the smile in Jungkook’s voice. “We’ll go home together.”Together. Jungkook will still be there, waiting to meet him. And then they can go back to Earth. Together. Neither of them will need to be alone.“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook breathes, “I can’t wait to meet you.”｡･:*˚:✧｡“I won’t be around to talk to you for a while,” Yoongi murmurs, fingers tracing along the stalk on an onion plant. “But maybe we can see each other again.”It feels strange to continue going about his routine, to tend to the plants and complete routine maintenance. The Atlas IV is less than twenty four hours away and Yoongi is restless and antsy. His mind is whirring and spinning and keeping his hands busy has been keeping him relatively calm. He’s aware that his pulse is elevated, he’s received the alerts from VAN, but he’s trying to ignore that.In twenty four hours, Yoongi will be off this ship. He will be off the Pleiades II and on the Atlas IV. The Pleiades has been his home for years now and, despite how much it feels like a cage, it will be strange to be anywhere else. And maybe Yoongi will miss his plants, miss his garden that he has so carefully cultivated.They will have to leave the Pleiades II behind for now, the Atlas IV is not equipped to tow the other ship back. There’s not enough power or fuel to do so, and Jungkook had explained that they would send another team to recover it eventually.
Yoongi was surprised to find that the news made him sad. He desperately wants to leave Pleiades II behind, but at the same time he is terrified to leave. And saying goodbye feels strangely difficult.He’s spent time in all the various rooms and labs, looking around at the equipment and facilities that he has meticulously maintained for years. It feels strange to look around the ship and know he is leaving. He tried to make the best of being in such a stark and cold place. But this was never home. If they do bring the Pleiades II back eventually, how will it look when it returns to Earth? Will the garden be overgrown or will all the plants be dead? What about the systems Yoongi works so hard to keep functioning, will they run?
Maybe they’ll let him see the ship again, when she’s finally brought home and decommissioned. Yoongi thinks he might like that, though it makes him anxious as well. That can be a problem for future Yoongi. Because right now he should focus on the fact that the rescue team will be here soon.The thought makes his hands tremble and Yoongi curls them into fists, swallowing hard. Rising shakily to his feet, Yoongi leaves the garden and returns to the chamber with the moon window. He lets himself float there, staring out at the darkness beyond. There are pinpricks of light in the distance, moons and stars and planets. And, maybe, one of those is Atlas IV, coming to bring him home.｡･:*˚:✧｡“Hyung?” Jungkook’s voice through the speakers has Yoongi looking up, as if he could see him there.
Yoongi clears his throat before responding. “Yes, Jungkook-ah?”“Are you ready?”A difficult question to answer. Yoongi pauses with his hands over the console in the mission command room, considering the question. There’s an anxious buzz beneath his skin, a trembling in all of his limbs. He’s been trying not to think about it too much, trying not to focus on it.He hasn’t slept at all in the past twenty four hours, too much adrenaline, too many frayed nerves. Jungkook has been with him for most of it, talking to him gently, providing support. Even when Jungkook had fallen asleep, they kept the line connected. Yoongi might have imagined it, but he feels like he could hear Jungkook’s soft breathing as he slept. That helped to calm him, just a little.But now Yoongi is not calm, he is watching the progress of the Atlas IV as it docks with the Pleiades II and he feels a little like he’s going to puke.“I’m scared,” Yoongi says finally, voice barely above a whisper.It’s overwhelming and Yoongi is panicking, well on his way to an actual panic attack. Everything is about to change. He never thought this would happen, that rescue would come. Yoongi thought he would be trapped here alone forever, until he finally lost the very last scraps of hope and gave up. A part of him still thinks that none of this is real. His mind playing a cruel joke on him.“You don’t have to be afraid,” Jungkook insists. “I’m right here with you.”But Jungkook is still there, his soothing voice coming through the speakers. Yoongi swallows hard and flexes his fingers. He can see the docking arm of the Atlas IV stretching to connect with the Pleiades II on the monitors in front of him.“You’re not just a figment of my imagination are you, Jungkook?” Yoongi asks. “I didn’t just dream you up.”He feels like that sometimes, that Jungkook is a sweet, perfect dream he’s made up. His mind’s way of making this more bearable. A full descent into madness, but at least Yoongi won’t be alone.“I’m real, hyung,” Jungkook promises. “You’ll get to meet me soon. And Hoseok is real too, and he’s there. Isn’t he?”“Yes,” Yoongi breathes. The airlocks are connected now, depressurization happening. All the indicators are turning from red to yellow. And then, in sequence, yellow to green. One by one by one, they are changing in front of his eyes. “He’s - they’re here.”Yoongi pushes up from the chair when the last indicator turns green, turning off the intercom and fitting an earpiece into his ear so he can still hear Jungkook. He shifted the gravity levels in most of the ship today, VAN regulating everything to feel like Earth. Walking feels strange when Yoongi is so used to floating through most of the ship. His body feels impossibly heavy as he makes his way out of command and into the hallway, heading for the airlock.He can hear a staccato beeping, a thrum as he gets closer. The woosh of rushing air. There is one corner ahead of him and then Yoongi will be there, able to see where the two ships connect. He falters at the turn, hesitating.“I’m right here,” Jungkook says, his voice gentle, like he’s speaking right into Yoongi’s ear. Like he’s right beside him. “Let’s do this together.”“Together,” Yoongi agrees, and steps forward.When he rounds the curve and steps into the antechamber, he can see people in the airlock between the two ships. They all have helmets and full suits on. Standing in just his fraying coveralls, Yoongi feels small and cold.But before he can question anything, there’s the klaxon sound of a warning alarm and the light above the airlock begins to flash. Depressurization is complete and the door is opening. There’s a rush of air that makes Yoongi momentarily close his eyes. When he opens them again, a man in a spacesuit is just a few steps away.The glass of his visor is opaque and Yoongi cannot see his face. But the man lifts a hand, unclipping the locks of the helmet and lifting it off his head.
Yoongi’s breath hitches as the man’s face is revealed. He knows that face, knows that bright, heart-shaped smile. “Hobah.”Jung Hoseok beams at him, smiling wide even as his eyes fill with tears. “It’s so good to see you, Yoongi hyung.”It feels like Yoongi is rooted to the floor, staring at one of his closest friends, the first real person he’s seen in years. And still - “Are you real?”A tear slips down Hoseok’s cheek and his smile softens. “I’m real,” he confirms, and steps forward, reaching out to pull Yoongi into his arms and -Oh. Oh.It has been so long since someone has touched him, so long since Yoongi has been held. He melts into Hoseok’s embrace, his own shaking hands coming up to cling to Hoseok’s suit, crowding in close. Hoseok just holds him tighter, squeezing Yoongi against his chest.There are tears in Yoongi’s eyes, a sob working its way up his throat. “You’re here,” he croaks.Hoseok pulls back just enough to see Yoongi’s face. “We’re here,” he replies. “We’re going to bring you home.”They hold each other like that, clinging close as they both cry. Suddenly it is all real, Hoseok is here and he is touching Yoongi, holding him. Yoongi is going home, he is being rescued. And if that is really here, if all of this is real, then that means that -“Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook’s voice is sweet in Yoongi’s ear, “I can’t wait to welcome you back home.”Jungkook is real too.｡･:*˚:✧｡There’s a hand on Yoongi’s arm, firm and steadying. When Yoongi glances over and follows the line of the arm up to a face, he finds Hoseok smiling at him. “You’ve got this,” he murmurs. “You’re ready.”Is he? Yoongi isn’t entirely sure that he’s ready. But as the indicators around the airlock flash green, he’s not sure he has much of a choice.Yoongi feels like a completely different person than the one who walked through this same airlock nearly eight months ago. He is no longer as miserable and afraid, though he’s still definitely nervous. The journey back to the space station has been long and Yoongi has found himself healing and changing day by day. It hasn’t been easy, and Yoongi thinks it will be a long road before he feels entirely like himself, but he feels a lot better than he did.He looks different too, no longer quite as skinny and sunken in. Less hollowness around his eyes, less emptiness there. With a haircut and a shave, a fresh set of coveralls, he feels almost like a real person again. A person who has been interacting with other people, real people and talking to a therapist, trying to work through what has happened to him.And through all of that, through the earpiece he has kept on him, Yoongi has had Jungkook. They have still been able to talk, to keep getting to know each other. Yoongi’s lifeline, even now. His tether back to home.Yoongi even has a face to put to the voice now. It was awkward to ask Hoseok about Jungkook, but Hoseok had just smiled and pulled up Jungkook’s information on his tablet.Major Jeon Jungkook, right there on the screen. Dark hair and warm brown eyes, wide and sparkling in the picture. And a bright, toothy smile. A sweet smile, just like Yoongi always imagined. It fits Jungkook’s laughter. Now whenever they talk, Yoongi has been able to picture that smile.Jungkook had said Yoongi was pretty, but Jungkook, well, he’s beautiful.A loud buzzing pulls Yoongi from his thoughts and he straightens up, curling his hands into fists at his sides. The door opens with a rush of air that blows back Yoongi’s hair and he ducks his head, staring at the floor as it passes.“Yoongi hyung?” A voice, suddenly, saying his name.He knows that voice.
Yoongi’s head jerks up and he blinks a few times to focus. There is someone there, stepping toward him until he is nearly close enough to touch and - it’s Jungkook. Yoongi would know that voice anywhere. Jungkook is there, standing just on the other side of the airlock door. And he is smiling.There is a rising warmth in Yoong’s chest, a swooping sensation in his belly. He can feel his own lips pulling into a smile, feel the wetness of tears gathering in his eyes. A sudden sense of relief washes over him.Jungkook is here. He is here and he is real, and Yoongi is finally home.