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“Everything is connected to the heart Suigetsu. The heart is a weapon that you must harness, you must turn it to steel and stone before it can be turned against you and twisted away from your duty to your people.”Suigetsu stood, wrinkling his bare feet in the wet clay underfoot. He had no practice sword and he stood before Master Zabuza and Master Kisame with more than a little apprehension. The exercises and the training that they had been doing lately was grueling. His stomach growled, and he flushed with embarassment when Hoshigaki chuckled at him.“Did you hear that Momochi? The boy is hungry. I’ll tell you what Hozuki, if you can accomplish this task, we’ll let you eat. How’s that sound?”“Just fine, Master Kisame.”The shark smiled at him and Suigetsu bared his fangs right back. He was supposedly related to the Hoshigaki clan, in part. That was what accounted for some of his features at least.Zabuza reached into a bag and pulled out a rabbit. It twitched and whined in his grip and Suigetsu schooled his face into neutrality.“If you kill the rabbit, you get to eat today.”He felt like he was underwater. There was a ringing in his ears and his palms felt sweaty. Suigetsu wiped his hands hurriedly on his pants and reached out to take the rabbit into his hands.“Squeeze boy. Touching it with those shaking hands won’t be enough. Twist.”“Put effort into it Hozuki. You and Mangetsu will be the inheritors of my will. Kill it.”Suigetsu’s breath began to huff loudly through his mouth and he felt dizzy. The faces of his mentors faded in and out of his vision and he fought to stay calm.The rabbit began to squeal. He couldn’t bear the fucking noise of it and Suigetsu snapped its neck cleanly.“It’s about time boy.”“It’s pathetic that it took you so long. Gut it and cook it. What did you learn from this?”“Not to hesitate.”“It is not enough to merely kill without hesitation. You must have no emotion whatsoever. Kill your heart, Suigetsu. It will only lead you further astray.”Zabuza left, adjusting the wrappings around his face as the Kirigakure ANBU approached him with message scrolls and Suigetsu was left alone with Kisame. The shark’s expression was hard to parse on any given day, but there was a look of especial disquiet in his eyes this afternoon.“Sit down boy. There is something I must tell you."Suigetsu had begun to gut and clean the rabbit, but immediately set it aside on a stone as Hoshigaki placed Samehada on the ground next to him.“Do you know why Mangetsu is sent on missions as a team leader, while you are frequently confined to the village?”“No, but I’m sure you’ll tell me.”“It is because you are inconstant. There are some days where you kill your foes most brilliantly, then there are others where you hem and haw and pause, such as just now. Mangetsu knows no such changes in temperament. He simply does what he is told.”“Is that what a shinobi is? No better than a dog that does what it’s told?”Kisame whirled around and marched up to him, leaning down close to Suigetsu’s face. He could see the lines of fangs and smell the stench of rotted meat on his breath and the sensation of being snared by a predator came forth in his mind again.“What do you think a shinobi is for? Do you think that it is all for myth and valor and glory? Shinobi are for killing. If there are gods, they made sheep so wolves could eat mutton, and they made the weak for the strong to play with. You would do well to remember such things.”Kisame picked up his sword and Suigetsu could’ve sworn he heard it growl at him. Then it was just him, alone in the Mist and the wind had begun to howl. ~~~~ Karin sat alone in the backroom of her mother’s apothecary and began to think in secret about the many ways she could kill the men who came. They had been healing the wounded in the war, but the soldiers took too much chakra and sapped her mother dry. Uzumaki Hiyori had refused to give her daughter in service to Kusagakure, but when Karin had been eliminated from the chuunin exams, she had been forced to accept that her daughter would become nothing more than an indentured servant to the village.“Your daughter’s efforts in keeping up with the necessary chores of the apothecary is commendable. But don’t you think its time that you introduced her as a medi-nin like yourself?”“My daughter is too young to complete my work. She is still a child and her body has not yet developed its full chakra capacities. If we were still in Uzushio, I may have been able to coax her abilities forth by now. But I lack the skill and the knowledge to accomplish such a task and furthermore, I do not think it wise to expose her to the true nature of what healing on the front lines entails.”“We have tried to play nice with you foreign Uzumakis, but our patience wanes rapidly. You are behind on your tax payments, which we need for the war effort. You even refuse to treat some of our men!”“That is because your men choose to treat me like an animal that they can simply indulge when necessary and mistreat as they please! They take too much chakra from me and more intimate things besides. I will not whore my daughter out at your discretion.”Karin heard a resounding slap from the other room and the sound of her mother falling. The men spat loudly and swore and left their house. She dashed into the other room and tore off part of her haori to help wipe the spittle from her mother’s face.Her mother took her face in her hands and pressed their foreheads together. The older woman’s hands were cool and clammy and her rings dug too hard into Karin’s face but she didn’t mind, as long as they were here together.“My child, you did well. Strong and silent, like I’ve always taught you.”“Mama, let me help you. They wouldn’t hurt you so much if I helped. I know I’m only a genin, but I can do work!”“Listen to me. If I have my way, you will never become a shinobi Karin. You do not need this burden; you need to live. When this war is over you will run from here and never return.”“We’ll do it together mama. You and me, we’ll go together.”Her mother smiled at her and pulled her close. Karin could feel her tears seeping onto her shoulder, but her mother’s cries were noiseless. Then she took a deep breath in and the two of them began the slow process of opening the apothecary for the day.Karin stepped outside the front door and took in the sights and sounds of the village. An explosion in the distance rocked the ground beneath her feet and she shuddered. If the fighting had become that close, it meant that they would be exceptionally busy today.With apprehension weighing on her shoulders, she waited with her mother for the wounded. ~~~~ News of Mangetsu’s death on the battlefield left Suigetsu disjointed and lost. How was he supposed to carry on when half of his soul was missing?Master Zabuza had turned cold and distant and Master Kisame began to take his training more seriously. Suigetsu was working harder than ever, but he paid it no mind. It was better to work hard than to stew in silence in his empty shack.But when training was over and there wasn’t much to do, Suigetsu would wander down to the beaches and liquify himself slowly, piece by piece, until there was no sensation nor awareness of the world around him. Merely quiet and the soft lull of the water.Winter had come early this year and the bite of the air turned his skin chapped and raw. The immersion jutsu would only make it worse, but he didn’t care. Who was there to see and judge whether or not he looked good? It was just him and the water out here.The mixture of snow and sand on the path down to the rocky beach was strangely soft and Suigetsu meandered down to a rocky outcropping over the water. He stripped off his sandals and rolled up the hem of his pants so that it would not get wet and he dangled his feet in the water.“That’s an interesting jutsu that you use.”He whipped around to see a black-haired woman sitting beside him on the stone. Suigetsu felt pure fear in the pit of his stomach. She had made no sound and despite her massive, overpowering chakra, he had not sensed her.This woman’s power was otherworldly.“I have a friend who works in the Mist from time to time. He’s told me such stories of your skills.”“I’m to be one of the Seven Ninja Swordsman. I will inherit Master Zabuza’s will.”Suigetsu felt sluggish, like his limbs had turned to jelly. He couldn’t remember what he was doing here, nor why he was initially so terrified of this woman.“A water affinity-type, obviously. However you have an affinity for wind as well, but naturally those Kiri-nin never bothered to teach you such things.”“Really?”He should run. Every part of his body was screaming at him to run, but he could not move. It was as if he was rooted to the ground and had turned to stone himself.“I think we will learn a great deal from one another, Suigetsu Hozuki.”“Who’s that?”Suigetsu spotted a gray-haired young man, watching them silently from across the waters.“My friend I was telling you about earlier. No need for worry.”He made a decision. Suigetsu drew a kunai and stabbed himself in the thigh. Sensation flooded back into his body and he nearly fell down from the rock in his haste.Feet pounding against the ground and blood dripping down his thigh, he stumbled down the path. Suigetsu was vaguely aware of the woman striding leisurely behind.Before his vision went black, Suigetsu wondered if this was how Mangetsu had run from the enemy at the end. ~~~~ The war had finally come to the town. Karin would’ve been afraid if not for the fact that her mother had died some time earlier. Now that she was gone, Karin simply felt numb. She waited for her fate.Soldiers had come in droves and her body was lined with bitemarks that oozed blood and drool. She could feel that her chakra was running low and she had no desire to take a soldier pill and restore it. What was there to give? Healing herself was even impossible now.A hand reached and grabbed her hair, knotting itself into her tangles and scraping its nails along her scalp.“Help me!”“I’ll bet this redhead is a remnant of the clan from Uzushio!”“You were right when you said she’d be worth something.”She closed her eyes and waited for whatever was coming to her. Then a rushing noise came towards them very fast and a monstrous snake swallowed her attackers whole.“A shinobi without a homeland is quite tragic.”A slim, effeminate man walked towards her with short, quick steps. His voice was honey-sweet and had a rasp akin to the pull of an over-rosined bow. She focused and sensed his chakra, large undulating waves of power.“But, you know, you must decide for yourself. If you come with me, no one will ever touch you again.”The man turned away from her and began to walk away. Karin had the vague sense that if she let him leave, she would lose an opportunity that she’d regret. A place of her own, that no one would be able to take away from her.She ran towards him and he extended his hand to her. When Karin took it, she realized that his hands were as cold as those of her mother when she’d died.They left the remnants of her home together.
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“Lord Orochimaru, do you think it’s wise to do this?”“Nonsense. We must give that accursed puppet man something to work with to get him off of our trail. That desert rat has been snooping around too much of late.”“As you wish my lord.”Suigetsu had quickly learned that Orochimaru and Kabuto didn’t think that he could hear them while inside the tank. Despite his listless expression, he tried to stay as aware as possible. Information was everything inside Otogakure, it was the only currency that mattered. As the doctor approached the tank and pressed the button to release him, Suigetsu drew his breath in tightly in the anticipation of cold air flooding in.“We’re finished with you Suigetsu. Sasuke is here, it would be good for him to have a companion.”He bowed towards Orochimaru and waited to be dismissed before running down the hall. Normally he missed his life in the Mist terribly, all of the people that had dominated his youth. But there were two things that were different in the Sound. The first being that he had a friend of his own.“Oh. So you’re at this hideout too then.”The second being that Karin was absurdly easy to tease. She was high-strung, rude and skeptical of anyone around her. Never shy with her fists or her words, the only person who remotely tolerated her was Kabuto and even that had its limits.“While I know that you missed me terribly, unfortunately I’m going to see Sasuke now. See you later, although I rather hope we don’t.”She sneered at him, but still fell into step beside him. Oto was a small community, which forced everyone to know one another’s business. They had crossed paths several times over the years and their cohabitation had forced them into some sort of truce.“What are you two griping about now?”Sasuke was beautiful. This wasn’t something that Suigetsu said lightly, nor did he consider that beauty was something freely given. The Uchiha had been sharpened and sculpted over the years and now his blunt weapon of a body was something that was to be envious of and desired.Karin gaped at Sasuke for moment and Suigetsu gave her a light shove. She reached up and pinched the sensitive skin behind his ear hard and he was about to give as good as he got by pulling her tangled red hair, until a hand slapped his away.“Are you two just going to behave like petty children, or are we going to do something?”“So impatient. Hasn’t Lord Orochimaru taught that you good things come to those who wait?”“You think I listen to Lord Orochimaru?”Karin laughed and Suigetsu smirked as they trailed behind the Uchiha, as if he was the sun that they orbited around and they headed out of the compound into the light. ~~~~ “Suigetsu, my dear, I have a job for you.”He prostrated himself before Orochimaru, forehead and nose in the ground, and fought to maintain his chakra control. Even after all these years he was never sure how much information about Orochimaru was real and what was made up to create a more violent reputation.“Whatever you say my lord, it will be so.”“So obedient. I have a very important guest coming to visit us soon and I want you to help guard. We’ll also be doing a hand-off of information, so your particular skillset will be required.”Killing. That’s what his skillset was. Kisame and Zabuza had begun his knowledge of the lethal arts, but when Orochimaru wasn’t experimenting on him, they were enhancing his powers to far greater heights than his masters in the Mist had conceived of.He had always initially thought that the Swordsmen were heartless, but Orochimaru had shown him the tedium and banality of cruelty over the years.“And Karin, you I have especial need of. You will be instrumental in the surgery.”“My lord?”“Has Kabuto not prepared you accordingly? I was under the impression that you had rather come into your own as a medi-nin?”Suigetsu looked out of the corner of his eye to where Karin was prostrated on the floor next to him, pressed so low that the tips of her fiery curls dragged on the ground slightly. He briefly considered how much she must hate that and then wondered why he even cared about such a thing?“Kabuto has taught me well. I am just surprised and honored that you would trust me so.”A good answer. Orochimaru’s ego was the most reliable thing about them, and choosing to play to their vanity would get you much further than you may have ordinarily. He looked up through his lashes to watch Orochimaru re-settle themselves on their chair, smiling lazily down at them.“Naturally, Karin. You are such a good girl, and so clever too! You must attend.”Orochimaru reached down and stroked her hair gently. For whatever reason that Suigetsu couldn’t parse, Orochimaru appeared to be genuinely fond of Karin. He’d always wondered how they’d met and what had drawn her to them.No one wound up in the Sound if they had a better place to go to. Karin was as adrift as he was, far from her home and whatever she may have chosen for herself, as much of a pawn and an experiment as he.“Dismissed. Go about your duties.”They motioned for Kabuto to approach them and blatantly ignored both Suigetsu and Karin. Together they stood up, bowed and quickly left the room.It was not wise to play dice with Orochimaru’s patience. ~~~~ It was with much trepidation that Karin made her way with Kabuto down to the lower levels, where the soundproofed laboratories were located.“What am I going to be asked to do?”“Nothing that you aren’t already capable of. Don’t discount yourself.”That wasn’t what she had asked, but it was useless to argue with Kabuto. Prickly and arrogant to a fault, the young doctor had worked with her for several years now, honing her chakra control and expanding her knowledge of medical ninjutsu.Over the years she had come to know Kabuto. Not through any conversation of worth, but through observation. She had smelt the cigarette smoke on him, could tell from the tightness in his jaw what his day with Orochimaru had been like. The waves of his chakra sang his devotion to his lord in every pulse.His chakra had been most informative when Orochimaru’s arms had rotted and they had shared the same room. Initially, Karin had suspected that they were in the same bed together, but when she had focused her chakra, she realized that Kabuto had moved his bedroll there and slept on the floor next to their bed.She’d felt sad then for reasons she couldn’t explain. It was like a loyal dog being kept at a cool distance.“Here we are. Do not speak to our guest unless spoken to. He’s not the forgiving type.”“—If this doesn’t work Orochimaru, I’ll be damned and outcast forever!”“Hush now. We’ve prepared for this for months. Of course it’s going to work Danzo.”The old man sat bare-chested on the operating table and glared viciously at Karin when she entered the room. He had the body of a man who used to be strong and the face of one that may once have been called handsome.“Who is this stripling? Yakushi I understand, not this girl.”“She’s here to help manage your chakra. As an Uzumaki, she’s very skilled.”The man eyed her, focusing in on her scarlet hair and Karin shrank in upon herself. His gaze was like that of a vulture observing the freshly killed.“Very well. Begin.”Kabuto cast the genjutsu and Karin focused in on the chakra waves pulsing out from Danzo’s core. The stench of gore no longer bothered her and even as Orochimaru dissected the man’s arm, she did not flinch.“Kabuto. Bring me the eyes.”She watched as Kabuto, hands blood-slick, passed Orochimaru a jar filled with sharingan eyes. She felt bile rising in her throat and she must have made some sort of noise because Orochimaru leered at her and Kabuto blatantly chuckled, dry as the rattle of leaves in autumn.“Don’t worry. These were harvested after their owners had died.”Karin felt faint and disjointed like she’d been separated from her body. She watched from a distance as they inserted the eyes into Danzo’s arm, stitching them into newly-formed sockets. Then, Kabuto prepared a vicious-looking syringe filled with a clear fluid that Orochimaru injected just above his heart.After what felt like an eternity, Orochimaru gave the command to wake Danzo up. She adjusted his chakra network as Kabuto applied a healing jutsu to ease his reawakening. Despite all this, he gasped like a drowning man and jolted upright, flinching as the pain of his surgery hit him.“Be at rest. It was successful. Although…”“Although what?”“You will never be forgiven for this.”“Hiruzen will understand that I’ve done this all for him, for his sake.”“Why, don’t you mean the village’s sake?”“Aren’t they one and the same?”She and Kabuto were left to clean and scrub down the room and it was late in the day when they both dragged themselves from the labs.As she lay in her bed, for the first time since she’d left Kusagakure, Karin dreamt of her mother and the life they’d had together. When she woke in the night, her hands were cold and everything in her screamed to run. ~~~~ She stood beside Suigetsu and wondered if he was aware that the person before them was not as he seemed.They watched Kabuto’s interaction with the person known as Sasori from a distance where Karin was sure that the rogue ninja could not sense them and they hovered at the ready, knowing that their odds against him in a fight were likely not that good.Here was a stark reminder that Orochimaru did not see value in their lives.When she focused her chakra, she could see that the outside shape of Sasori was not reflective of the creature inside. But even then, she did not think that Sasori was anything more than a husk of what might’ve been called a man.Sasori left and Kabuto stormed up the hill towards them once he was sure that Sasori had gone and said not a word to either of them as he leapt away from their lonely perch. They trailed after him, phantoms in the night, and Karin felt a knot in her chest ease somewhat.They were going home.“Hey. Are you alright?”“What do you mean?”Suigetsu was looking straight ahead and whispering out of the corner of his mouth. Technically, Kabuto was not supposed to leave them behind like this, but he seemed angry and unfocused, which was unusual. Karin didn’t care enough to question what had bothered him anymore. After that ghastly farce of a surgery, she couldn’t find it in herself.“After that experiment Orochimaru and Kabuto got you to participate in, you seemed really out of it. And even tonight, it’s like you’re here physically but your mind is gone. Something’s bothering you.”She couldn’t form the words. Without being aware of it, Karin clamped her hands over her mouth and shook her head. Suigetsu looked somber, but he didn’t say anything.“You can’t mention any of this to Sasuke. He’s too close to Orochimaru.”“You don’t trust him?”“Not with this.”They looked at one another and then Suigetsu shrugged.“That’s probably for the best.”They disappeared into the night.
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Sasuke was sleeping, but Karin was awake. The exhaustion of the day had set in and the sun had gone down many hours ago, but she knew that he must be guarded at all costs. They couldn’t afford to allow Konoha to gain the upper hand on him.But more than that, she could sense Orochimaru’s chakra inside of him.That chilled her to the core, the idea that the Great Snake was still alive. That Sasuke had only sealed him was bad enough, but when he became weak like this, the possibility emerged that Orochimaru could take him.Karin didn’t know what she would do if he woke up one morning and his eyes were ophidian yellow instead of their usual cool agate. She expected her heart may just stop.“How’s his chakra?”Suigetsu settled down next to her and Karin shook her head wordlessly.“It’s stable, but very faint. If we were to be attacked right now, I’m not sure he’d be able to do much at all. He acts all tough, but I think Deidara scared him really badly.”“Yeah. When I saw that explosion, I knew something he hadn’t planned for had happened. Although, I don’t expect Sasuke planned for much of this.”“How can you say that!? All Sasuke has done, everything he has accomplished was planned in order to remove Orochimaru from power and to eliminate Itachi.”“For fuck’s sake Karin! There is no plan for what happens after. Have you ever once considered that, or are you too blinded by your love?”“You love him too. Don’t you sit there and deny it.”“I’ve never denied it. I’ve also never let it consume me. You care too much Karin; you must kill your heart before it leads you further astray.”“Is that what it is, to be a shinobi?”“It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. It’s how I was taught.”She went quiet for a moment then. Suigetsu never brought up the Mist or his childhood. Sasuke had never asked him in all the months that they’d been together and Karin wasn’t even sure that the Uchiha cared enough to know.There was an almost innocent selfishness to Sasuke. His desire was clean and he fought for what he wanted, like a child determined to outshine their elders. He knew that Suigetsu and Karin would die for him and the rest of their lives were irrelevant.“Do you have any living family, back in Kirigakure?”“I used to have an older brother. He died around five years ago now.”“I had a mother. Her name was Hiyori. She was a medi-nin too and one day she told me we’d go back to the remains of Uzushio together.”“Do you still want to go and visit there?”Karin smiled sadly and took her glasses off to wipe at the corner of her eyes. Suigetsu tried to hide his shock, but this was Karin! Tough as nails, she never cried and when others showed such weakness, she was normally quick with a slap or a mocking word.“It wouldn’t be the same without her. If there are any other Uzumakis, they never came to help us. She’s the only thing that offered it meaning.”They went silent for a moment, looking out at the stars. Suigetsu knew she was crying, tears sliding silently down her face and he had no idea what to do. Should he put his arm around her? Tell her he understood?Before he could make any such foolish decision, Karin stood, dusting off her clothes.“I’ll take the next range. I’m assuming Jugo is still out there somewhere?”“As far as I’m aware. Who knows what that big lout gets up to all night?”She chuckled wetly and pulsed her chakra.“He’s to the north of us and moving relatively slowly. I’ll go see what’s up. See you at dawn.”Karin ran off into the night and Suigetsu unstrapped his sword from his aching back.“See you at dawn.” ~~~~ “Kisame! The pair of you shouldn’t fight. We have plans for you both.”Suigetsu sprang back from Kisame, sweat dripping down his back. The strength of his master’s strike, even after so many years had passed, was still too much for him. It was shameful that his own strength had not yet progressed enough, that this Zetsu creature was forced to interfere.Kisame was preparing to strike again and Suigetsu knew that he lacked to strength to defend himself.“Kisame! Think of what Itachi asked of you!”It was like Kisame had been struck deaf and dumb. He had sheathed Samehada before Suigetsu had even put down the Executioner’s Blade, and had turned to the creature with visible concern writ large across his face.The shark took a moment to compose himself and then turned to face the remnants of Taka once more.“Sasuke must fight by himself. You three should understand best of all why this must be undertaken.”“Itachi will lose. He has no idea what Sasuke is capable of!”Karin glared directly at Hoshigaki and Suigetsu felt his insides curl with fear. She had no chance if Kisame decided to hurt her and he knew that he couldn’t stop it. Kisame’s temper had always been a fearsome thing, even some of Orochimaru’s worst rages hadn’t come close to it.“Ignorant little girl. You really think you know Itachi, based on that arrogant pissant’s whining? I thought an Uchiha would’ve chosen smarter companions.”He stepped back so that they could all see him clearly. Karin looked visibly shaken and Suigetsu motioned to her to be quiet. Kisame looked at them tiredly and for the first time, Suigetsu could see that he’d aged. Normally it was hard to gauge anything about Kisame, but Suigetsu could see clearly that he was well into his thirties.“You’re all to stay here while the battle is completed. If any of you attempt to interfere, I will hunt you down and feed you to Samehada. Do you understand, or do I need to make myself understood?”They all nodded rapidly and Kisame walked into the woods. Suigetsu made to go after him, but Karin grabbed him arm.“Are you mad? He’ll kill you.”“He’s fonder of me than he lets on. Now let me go.”“Suigetsu. What do you want from him?”“Can’t I just speak with my old teacher in peace?”“If that’s what you really want.”She let him go and he stalked after him, quiet and still as stagnant water. The trees out here had the same claustrophobic quality as they’d had in the Hidden Sound, appearing to loom over and hug the rambling path that Kisame was following.“I know you’re there.”“You joined the Akatsuki. You’re a traitor to the Mist.”“Don’t I know it.”“You don’t deserve Samehada anymore.”“Listen to me, boy. I will die with my blade in hand to a far greater foe than you. Even with all of Orochimaru’s special training, you’re nothing but a soft, green puppy who thinks that his bite is far greater than it is.”It was useless getting angry with someone like Kisame, but Suigetsu couldn’t help the rage that was bubbling up anyways. This placid attitude was unlike the Kisame he remembered from his childhood and he refused to accept that his old mentor had been brought so low.“You’ve been defanged, master. Did they have you fixed when you were inducted into the organization?”Before he knew what was happening, Suigetsu was flat on his back on the forest floor, Kisame’s knees pinning his torso to the ground and the shark’s hands like iron around his wrists.“Don’t you pretend you know a damned thing about me and what I’ve done for the Mist! I’ve been loyal and that’s more than you can say, whoring your jutsu out for Orochimaru and accepting your imprisonment. Even now, you follow Sasuke like a stray looking for scraps.”Suigetsu worked up a mouthful of spittle and spat in Kisame’s face.“Right. And your duty to Itachi was always just duty?”Kisame lifted Suigetsu by the wrists and slammed his head into the ground so hard, his vision briefly went black.“That’s all Zabuza’s heir can do? I hate gutless frauds like you, boy. Do something. I could’ve taken Itachi at any time, I meant to do it.”Something wet dripped onto Suigetsu’s face and he realized Kisame was crying.“I should have. All those nights in those freezing caves when it was him and I, and we were both so fucking lonely. I should’ve had him in the dirt and ripped out his heart and given it bloody to that self-righteous little brother of his.”The hands clamped around his wrists began to quiver and Suigetsu wrested himself free. He ran, not bothering to look if Kisame had risen to his feet again and the forest echoed with the sobs of his mentor. ~~~~ Karin had known, long before they’d reached the Land of Iron, that she would die on this mission. Crouched behind a stone wall, searching for Danzo Shimura’s chakra, she realized that her end would come much sooner than she’d initially expected.The Raikage’s lightning style cracked through the air as the very foundations of the building shook. Jugo and Suigetsu were down there too and she could sense every move that they’d made. The curse mark upon Jugo roared with life and Suigetsu’s chakra blinked in and out of her sensory range.Then something cold trickled down her spine and she hugged her knees closer to her body. It was Sasuke, but it was foreign at the same time. Karin knew this chakra, knew it more intimately than her own.
Orochimaru!
But it wasn’t Orochimaru. The coldness that infiltrated Sasuke’s chakra was identical to Orochimaru’s venomous aura, but it still distinctly belonged to the Uchiha and that was what she couldn’t stand.The clash of blades outside rang through the air and she heard Jugo scream with fury. She increased her pace, searching for Danzo’s chakra. Karin had never forgotten him, had never been able to, the surgery he’d undergone with Orochimaru would stay with her until she died.When the Kazekage arrived and broke apart the fight between the Kumo-nin and Sasuke, Karin couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. Even in Oto, they had heard of the young Kazekage and the reforms that he’d instituted. Lives of Suna-nin had been permanently altered simply because he knew kindness.Then Sasuke was pulling her away from the group and down a dark corridor, his cool, vicious chakra enveloping them both. She stopped and he paused as well. Karin was aware that he was vaguely humoring her.“What about Suigetsu and Jugo?”“What about them?”“Are we going to just leave them?”“They’re superfluous. Have you located Danzo?”She nodded and Sasuke smiled. It was less an expression of joy and more of a bearing of fangs in delight at the violence to come.“Then that’s all that matters. You come now. We have the real work to do, you and I.”Karin stood and followed Sasuke into the dark. ~~~~ Danzo proved to be a far stronger foe than they’d initially considered. Sasuke’s chakra was rapidly waning and the old man proved far wilier than they’d initially believed.Maybe Suigetsu had been right this whole time. Sasuke was simply following what he believed to be right without consideration for them. There was no future with him, nothing besides this black obsession and his exacting need to complete what he’d started.Tracking Danzo’s jutsu proved to be a mighty task. The eyes that she’d been a part of implanting into his arm all those years ago were now being used to horrifying effect and she could see how they inflamed Sasuke and stoked his anger to recklessness.Madara watched them from afar and she knew that he would play no role in this. Whatever his grand scheme was, this battle was but a minor part in it. Come what may, he would be loathe to fight himself and therefore Sasuke would have to stand his ground alone.The eyes closed lidlessly, one by one, and she realized what jutsu it was that Danzo was employing.“Sasuke! Keep your distance! The jutsu he is using won’t last forever, you need to merely outlast him!”He was far away from her now. Standing in the presence of his chakra was like being in the presence of Orochimaru. Here was a stark reminder that he did not truly value their lives.Danzo and Sasuke struck mortal blows, and Karin rushed to heal the Uchiha. It was over now. The revenge was complete and they’d go back for Suigetsu and Jugo and they could have a life together.An arm wrapped around her and Danzo pulled her tight to his chest, cutting off her airflow.Sasuke would save her. Suigetsu was wrong, she knew it, because the Sasuke who had saved her all those years ago had never left. He was still there with them now.“Don’t move Karin.”The lightning blade pierced her heart. Sasuke was speaking to her, but everything was going fuzzy and her ears had started ringing. Whatever he was attempting to tell her was pointless now. The world felt like it was tilting on an axis and her vision began to go.
”Sasuke, what was I to you?”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Two Years after the Proceedings of the 4th Shinobi War
“We the five Kage have made a decision regarding your future, Orochimaru.”Karin stood directly behind Orochimaru, Jugo and Suigetsu bracketing her on either side, and she fought not to show her fear. Any decision regarding Orochimaru would involve them too and she did not like the look of the leaders around her. The present Kage were not the only ones in attendance, many of the former Kage were observing as well. She suspected that they were demonstrating their strength in case Orochimaru chose to lash out.“Before we proceed, is there any statement you wish to make?”“None but this. I am not sorry. I make no bones about what I’ve done, the things I’ve achieved. This is not even surrender, more just a recognition of reality. I cannot continue as I once did and I’ve accepted these facts.”“You know that you are beaten. Is that perhaps what you mean? Your village has scattered and your armies are in ruin. There are none left who hold to your lies. Is this what you refer to when you say that you are aware of reality?”The Kazekage did not look so young as when she had seen him at the previous Kage meeting. It was not that his face had changed, or his posture, but rather his eyes spoke to the experiences of war. The green of his eyes had hardened to roughened sea-glass and he spoke with the command of one who knew the merit of his word.Orochimaru’s mouth thinned and their eyes narrowed. Their chakra imperceptibly flickered, a slight crackle in the air. Karin knew that they could not bear being lectured to and the self-control this entire ordeal took. Now that Kabuto no longer lived with them, she had taken on the roll of Orochimaru’s attendant and she had begun to learn their manner.She had sat with them today, preparing them to face the Kage. Karin had combed their ebony hair until it fell in a shimmering curtain down their back, plaiting it into a simple braid. She’d held the spool of cloth as they’d bound their small breasts flat and helped them into a plain cream linen kimono. They’d forgone their usual earrings in favor of plain silver hoops and to Karin, their façade of humility was unbearably false.They didn’t speak to her. Over the years, they and Kabuto had developed their own quiet history with one another, but without the dearth of time spent in close proximity any attempt at small talk came out stilted.“I have accepted your terms. There is no need to drive the point home further, boy. I agree to surrender my research to Konoha and reside in a compound of your choosing. I only have one request.”“You are in no position to make requests.”“So impatient. You’re just like your father. The request is not for me, but for the sake of my subordinates. During the war I released them from my service and I no longer hold them in my thrall. Therefore I ask that you offer them the opportunity to travel and to return to their village of origin if they so choose.”The room went silent. The puppeteer standing behind the Kazekage had started to move forward when Orochimaru had mentioned the previous Kazekage, but the young lord gestured for him to remain still. Then, he looked towards Kakashi Hatake who nodded in assent, and then he began to speak again.“I grant your request. The group formerly known as Taka may make their choice. Speak now, or your fate is decided.”Juugo stepped forward. “My village will not accept me as I am, and Kimimaro would wish for me to remain. I will continue in Oto.”“Very well. Karin?”She forced herself to stop twisting her hands and cleared her throat. “Kusagakure abused both myself and my mother. Uzushio is gone. I have no home but Oto.”“I intend to return to Kirigakure. I am not finished with that place. Should I no longer choose to live there, I will return to Oto.”“Done. Your fate is sealed.”They exited the pavilion surrounded by ANBU and they did not speak to one another until they had returned to their quarters. Orochimaru was being housed in Danzo’s old manor and the irony of it was not lost on Karin.Once she’d helped Orochimaru change into their regular clothing and had determined that she was no longer required, she rushed to Suigetsu’s room.“You’re packing already?”“I can’t bear to stay here any longer. It’s smothering and overpowering. I need to live my own life.”“By going back to what? Are there any other Hozuki?”“I don’t know until I try to find them.”“Suigetsu.”“What?”She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. His whole body tensed for a moment before he relaxed into her hold, pulling her close and burying his face in her hair.“I hope you find them. I really do.”“Don’t be so sappy Karin. I’ll come back one day.”
Five Years Later
Suigetsu paused before knocking on the ornate double doors. He didn’t know what to expect anymore and frankly, felt a little ashamed of returning, tail between his legs, with a story of a failure of a new life.Just as he was about muster up his courage, the door swung open to a decidedly unamused Orochimaru staring at him tiredly.“I can sense your palpable stress from the other side of the house.”“Good evening Lord Orochimaru, I don’t know what to say, but I’ve got nowhere else to go and…”“There’s a room waiting for you. Dinner has already been held, but the pantry is well stocked and I’m sure you can look after yourself.”They turned on their heel and marched off into the cavernous hall. Suigetsu, feeling like a chastened child, trailed after them. The compound was sleek and impersonal, the wide halls baring no semblance of love or personality.It was place that they existed in, but did not inhabit.Orochimaru’s sleek black hair lay neatly down their back, groomed to perfection. It was unusual to see them so sedate, Suigetsu almost wondered if it was a shadow clone. This quiet figure was not the tyrannical overlord of his childhood.“Here are your quarters. Come down to the labs in the morning and we can discuss your work.”“I will not serve as a subject in your experiments ever again.”Orochimaru looked him dead in the eyes this time, and Suigetsu met their golden gaze.“I did not say that I required a new test subject. I will expect you in the labs. Karin is in the onsen if you wish to meet her.”Suigetsu blushed to the roots of his hair, and Orochimaru chuckled under their breath as they swept out of the room.That led him to descending the slippery stone steps to the onsen below, feeling slightly nervous. There was no reason for him to be. During the height of Otogakure, there had been no separation between genders and he had been long since stripped of his modesty.Then why did he feel like a flustered schoolchild?He knocked on the door and then walked in the room. Karin sat facing away from the door, scarlet locks pinned and piled on top of her head. Suigetsu paused for a moment until she turned to face him, expression unreadable.“Orochimaru told me you had returned.”“Yes. I meant to tell you sooner.”There was a stagnant, awkward pause between them, until Karin rolled her eyes and motioned towards the stone tub she was currently in.“The other one is for Orochimaru’s personal use. They don’t share with us.”“Right.”He climbed in, pointedly staring at the area slightly above her head. They sat in silence for a moment until Karin sighed exasperatedly and Suigetsu scanned her face.“Are you going to make me say it?”“Say what?”“Why did you come back?”
Suigetsu lay on the floor in the remnants of the shack he’d shared with Mangetsu, hungry and aching, as the rain pelted through the scant thatch roof.
He hadn’t eaten in days and he had no money and the path he used to take to the beach had grown over with weeds and bracken and he couldn’t remember his brother’s face anymore.
“It was time. You were always right. There’s nothing in the Mist for me now.”“I didn’t want to be right. I’m so sorry Suigetsu.”“I suppose I always knew I’d wind up here again. Do you hear from Sasuke or Kabuto?”“We aren’t allowed to talk about Kabuto, Orochimaru has forbidden it. I don’t hear from Sasuke, but Sakura writes. She’s pregnant.”“With his child!?”“I was surprised as well.”Suigetsu was gobsmacked. What little he knew of Haruno, nothing had indicated that Sasuke had had any real interest in her, or any woman for that matter. There had only ever been one who Sasuke had longed for.He’d hated and wrestled and bitten at the hand of his love, but Naruto held it out anyway.“So it’s just you and me these days?”“Not counting Juugo?”“As far as he’s concerned, he’s been married to Kimimaro since they were thirteen. He doesn’t count.”Karin laughed and Suigetsu felt a glow of warmth spreading throughout his chest. A fiery curl fell loose from her bun and without thinking, Suigetsu leant forward to nudge it back into place.They were so close, noses almost touching and Karin’s skin had flared as red as her hair.
Oh.
They slowly moved apart and Karin nervously smoothed her hair back into place. Suigetsu, feeling a little shellshocked, settled back on his side of the tub. The silence stretched out between them, until he had to speak before he did something dangerous.The door opened, and Orochimaru walked in, towel wrapped around their waist.“Am I interrupting something?”“No, Lord Orochimaru. I was just leaving.”Suigetsu averted his eyes as Karin stood up, reaching for her towel and hurrying off to shower and change. He stared at the opposing wall until Orochimaru had settled themself into the other tub.When all was still, he activated his jutsu and began the process of slowly liquifying himself. Remnants of Karin’s chakra simmered in the water, the scent of the soap and oils she had slicked herself with melded into him and he couldn’t stop the shiver that shuddered through his nonexistent core. ~~~~ She walked with Juugo through the forests, collecting herbs. Karin had done this work for many years now and she no longer required the list of herbs nor their images to forage.Suigetsu’s expression the previous night was playing over and over in her mind. In the years away, he’d broadened out and his hair hung just below his shoulders. Instead of the gangly boy wielding a sword larger than he was, there was a man who chose his weapons with confidence.“Karin?”“I’m sorry Juugo, I didn’t catch that?”“I said that Orochimaru made a comment about Suigetsu returning. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to see him yet.”“That’s alright.”“Karin?”“Yes?”“Even back then, when Sasuke was with us and you two would fight all the time, he always cared for you. You’re happy he’s back, even though you won’t say it.”She nodded and Juugo smiled. To hear it from another person made it seem real. Even Orochimaru had behaved differently around her, sending her a coy glance when Suigetsu arrived in the labs that morning, as if they knew a secret she didn’t.“What are all these herbs for?”“Medications, potions, jutsu-enhancers. Orochimaru’s full laundry list, so to speak. I normally collected them with Kabuto, but obviously he’s not here.”“Do you miss him? I know he trained you.”“No.”Juugo looked taken aback at the severity of her answer. Karin didn’t care, she would never forget what Kabuto had done willingly.She had overlooked Sasuke’s crimes in favor of love, but that was different. Kabuto’s devotion had turned him mean, nasty and false with time. A husk of a person, and one that would do anything to gain purchase with Orochimaru.“I recognize what he did and I know I cannot judge. But no. I try not to think of what we did together.”Juugo reached out and took her hand, squeezing gently. They began the long walk back to the compound, hands intertwined. ~~~~ “Finally discovered the view here?”Suigetsu turned to see Karin sit down beside him on the hilltop. The grounds of the compound extended far into the base of the mountain and from this vantage point, he could see all of Konoha with its increasing urban swell.“It’s peaceful.”They sat in companiable silence together, their shoulders almost touching, until Karin coughed into her fist and Suigetsu turned to look at her.“I have something—something that I need to tell you.”She smiled nervously and Suigetsu held his breath.“And I can’t believe that it took you leaving for me to get to this point, but I’ve made a decision now.”For a moment, time slowed. Her movements were almost lazy, softened as if drawn through amber. He watched her hand reach for him and pull him close.The soft, firm press of her mouth shocked him back to reality.“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked…”“I missed you every day when I was gone. I wrote you a hundred letters in my mind and never sent them because I thought that you would not wish to hear them. I am so very glad we are here, Karin.”He slid his hand into her crimson curls and she relaxed into the kiss. Suigetsu nipped lightly at her bottom lip, mindful of his sharp fangs and she sighed, opening her mouth.When they broke apart, she curled into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.Together, they watched the sun set on their past lives.