Work Text
The first thing Sanji said that morning was “I thought about leaving you last night.” The metallic click of the lighter bounced off the walls.The first thing Zoro said back was “So why didn't you?”Zoro thought about keeping his eye closed, of convincing himself this was one of those hazy conversations he only ever had nightmares about. But he could feel the sun on his face, sneaking through the curtains Sanji never fully closed. He liked to be able to twitch them open in the middle of the night to blow out streams of blue smoke instead of going downstairs.5:43 in the morning.Not terribly early for either of them. Late, actually, for Sanji.It was the lighter that woke him. Must have been. It was heavy, and loud when the flint struck. Sanji preferred matches for his quick midnight smokes. They had matchbooks everywhere. Stolen from every place they’d ever been.Either he’d been awake and stewing for hours or never went to bed at all.Yawning widely, Zoro smacked his lips together and heaved himself up to sit against the headboard and scratch at his stomach. Usually their room smelled and tasted like ocean salt.Chair by the window. Arms folded on the small table he used to roll his smokes on good nights. A half smoked cig hanging loose from his fingers. Sanji’s hair was still braided, and frizzing at the ends. Bitched about split ends but still picked at them anytime he ran circles around his own thoughts. Zoro snorted. Hadn’t been to bed yet, then.Hissing a breath out through his teeth, Sanji stabbed out his cigarette in the butt-filled ash tray. No wonder all he could taste was smoke. “I can’t stand the idea of you dying alone.”“I wouldn’t die alone, asshole.” Zoro grit his teeth on the words. They weren’t what he meant to say, not a smart response to your partner telling you the one reason they didn’t leave in the middle of the god damned night.Sanji was better at being in a relationship, despite being much worse at getting to the relationship part. But he did the right things. He remembered birthdays and anniversaries. He got thoughtful gifts. He didn’t go to bed angry. He could say things like ‘I should leave you.’Zoro barely remembered the days of the week. He thought it was stupid to stay up and be miserable for no fucking reason. He wasn’t good with words.Sanji liked to remind him that he stuttered on his wedding vows.Usually he laughed about it. Told it like it was his favourite story.Last night he spat it out like a curse.“I know that,” Sanji said, muffled. He dropped his head into his hands and ground his eyes into the heels of his palms.“You can’t stand that I might die without your hands around my throat, more like.”That got a something like a laugh. A dried out husk of a laugh. “It was easier to think about leaving when you were asleep.”“Why.”“Why was it easier or why did I want to?”Zoro shrugged, grunting instead of giving a real answer. Stumbling his way to the bathroom like this was a normal morning.There was something Vivi liked to say, how not making a choice was still making a choice. Some shit like that. But when choosing between getting stabbing in the hand vs. getting stabbed in the foot - it’s not like choosing one over the other was going to save anything. It was going to hurt either way.The heater in their place was old, and took a while to warm up in the morning. It was the work of seconds to fill a glass with frigid water. Zoro chugged half to rid his mouth of sour sleep and second hand smoke. He passed Sanji the glass on his way back to bed, and bit back some relief when it was immediately pressed to Sanji’s neck, the cold raising goose bumps on his skin.He shuddered through deep breaths for a minute, while Zoro waited for the hammer to fall.“We talked about taking a trip out east last fall and it never happened.”They aren’t like that normally. They don’t say shit they don’t mean, or back off from shit they say they’ll do. It’s about the only reason they started to date in the first place. It was a bet, a joke, and then a competition, like they were seeing who’d bow out first. And then it was comforting, to be with someone like that. Someone sure.“You had that shitty legal battle with those fuckers. Wasn’t a good time.”The lighter clicked again. Sanji finished the water and then rested the glass upside down over the lighter.On another day, Zoro might have picked a fight about water rings on the table. Something that was fine when Sanji did it, but caused a shake down whenever he forgot a coaster.“You let our fucking plant die.”There it was.The plant was older than their marriage and had vines longer than Zoro’s whole body.They’d been given the plant as a joke, from Nami, when they moved in together. When Sanji ducked into the kitchen, she bet Beri that they’d break up before Zoro managed to kill the thing. “It’s like you,” she snorted. “It thrives on neglect.”Zoro yelled at her and she yelled back, and Sanji yelled at him for yelling at Nami, and Luffy yelled at all of them for fighting during a party. Later on she bought him a good bottle of whisky and they drank it under the stars. Zoro didn’t remember what they talked about, only that Nami said sorry and threw up immediately after.“You said I was watering it too much,” Zoro said. “So I stopped.”“Do you even fucking care?” Sanji’s open palm hit the table and a second later the glass hit the floor.“Don’t move.” Zoro was out of bed and getting the broom from the hallway before Sanji could think about being a contrary little shit. “Was this one of the nice glasses Vivi got us?” Zoro had met the glass blower at one of Vivi’s Alabastan Independence Day dinners, they talked for a while about working with fire and the art of creating dangerous things.Zoro commissioned her for a set of measuring cups. It had been the only glass kitchen tool he could think of. The artisan laughed herself sick but promised to have it done by their next anniversary.“No, I don’t put the nice glass in the fucking en suite, you animal.”It was hard to tell, all smashed to bits, so Zoro shrugged.“It was the one Chopper got us at the Bargain Bin.”“Well, fuck.” Zoro paused, frowning. On one hand, Chopper probably won’t remember getting this specific glass for them. Chopper was always buying things that made him think of their crew. But Zoro liked it. That’s how it became the en suite glass in the first place. He didn’t get the joke on it, a stylized katana with the half the slogan chipped off. Something about studying the blade. But Usopp had assured him it was just dumb and funny.“Sure. You care about that, you dumb piece of sentient fucking moss. You care that you broke the 2 Beri glass Chopper got for a laugh -”“If it’s green, there’s something worth saving.”For a moment, the bin rattling as the glass settled at the bottom was the only sound in the room. Then Sanji drawled, slow and deliberate. The same way he exhaled smoke. “Is that your idea of a fucking joke?”Sanji’s anger was like a wave. It swelled and rushed. But the real danger was when the tide went out. When he seemed calm, but really, the tsunami was about to hit.“I messaged Robin yesterday, before you came in.” Playing with fire, Zoro hazarded over a grin. “She said: if it’s still green, there’s something to save.”There was. The leaves along the vine were yellowing and falling off so fast it made Zoro panic. There were dark, mushy roots peeking out the bottom of the pot. But the vine itself was still green.Sanji went out like one of his matches, the fight draining out of him. He took a heavy step, then two, and finally sank down onto the bed.“Why?”“Why what?”Zoro plucked the heavy metal from the floor, walking over to rest it on the nightstand. “The lighter?”“I forgot how hard it is to light smokes this early. Everything feels wet,” Sanji muttered into the bedspread.Humming, Zoro flopped down beside him, leaving the broom and pan where they were for now. They’d have to clean up better later anyway, make sure no glass was hiding. “Still want to leave me?”He hadn’t meant to say that. Zoro squeezed his eye shut and thought for a second about biting his tongue in two. Slow death vs. a slow death. Hand or foot.“Not right now,” Sanji sighed, and then huffed when he heard Zoro sigh out with him. The nicotine jitters were leaving him shaky and strung out, like always. The water must have helped a bit, though. He sounded better. “Divorces are messy. I should have made you sign a prenup.”Zoro nodded. Should’ve, would’ve. Too late now. “Good. You can yell at me more after you get some fucking sleep.”“I wasn’t yelling.”“Felt like yelling.”They rolled about, getting comfortable. Sanji wiggling out of his day-old clothes, still smelling like cooking oil and old sweat and smoke.“Does Robin-dear really think…?”Daring, Zoro laid an arm out. Offering. “She’s coming over tomorrow, with Usopp and Franky. They wanted to know when we last re-potted it.”For a second, Sanji was tense and still. For all it was one of Sanji’s favourite threats, Zoro had never actually slept in the guest room, and he wondered for a second if that was about to change. Then, Sanji hitched his body back, squirming til his back lay flushed against Zoro’s side.“What’s ‘re-potting’?”“Hm. That’s what I said.”Sanji snorted. “Go to bed. I can just as easily kill you when we wake up.”“You can try,” Zoro muttered, turning his face away from the sun and hooking his arm down til his hand lay flat against Sanji’s heart.