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The sky was pitch black with no stars in sight. The air bit at Neyra’s hands and face as she walked briskly down the streets. Few people were out tonight; the only things Neyra could hear were the sounds of her footsteps and her loud racing thoughts.Why only now? She hadn’t seen Bella in… months? weeks? years? Neyra wasn’t quite sure of the timeline. All she remembered was that stupid letter Bella left behind talking about how things would be better for the two of them if they forget everything they did together. She was right, in some aspects. Maybe most aspects. Nonetheless, Neyra wasn't going to leave her behind just like that. Bella still took up a large amount of space in her mind. Neyra worried about her every day since her abrupt disappearance. She should have felt happy when she answered the phone, finding out what she had been up to this entire time, but all she could feel was a sinking pit in her chest that made her nauseous.She quickly walked up to Bella’s trailer door and knocked. A man with raven black hair and sapphire eyes stepped out. “I didn’t expect you to get here so quickly,” he said, surprised.“Are you the person I spoke to on the phone?”“Yes, my name is Kieran.”She shook his hand. “Pleased to make your acquaintance. Can you tell me why you called me here?”“Bella took a hard hit to the head. She was a little dazed, a bit disoriented, and… well, she seems to have lost some memories. She didn’t remember my name or what we were doing, how she got injured in the first place. I saw your name and contact on her nightstand and figured you were someone important who would want to check up on her and be willing to keep an eye on her.”Neyra mind was racing. Head injury? Memory loss? Gods, this does not sound good. “I see. Where is she?”“She’s in bed. Doctor has her on house arrest for a week, until the symptoms have worn off for the most part. I can’t stay with her that long and make sure she actually follows the doctor’s orders; she might kill me the second her memory comes back.”“I can take care of her.” The words left her mouth sooner than she could process them. How am I going to explain my absence to my parents? I didn’t even write a note before leaving the house! Kieran looked at her up and down. “I believe you,” he said, disbelievingly.“My mother was a doctor and I know how to take care of people,” Neyra said defiantly. “I will make sure she follows the doctor’s orders and I will keep her safe.”Kieran continued staring at her, looking for any sign of self-doubt or incompetence. Eventually, he nodded to Neyra before leaving silently. Neyra sighed. She still needed to come up with something to tell her parents when they inevitably came looking for her.She went to Bella’s bedside, taking a seat across from her. “Hey Bella, I’m Neyra. Do you remember me?”She could hear the hesitation in Bella’s voice as she replied, “I’m… I’m not sure… your voice sounds familiar but that’s it.”That's good to hear, I guess. Neyra sighed in slight relief. “Is it a good familiar or a bad familiar?”Bella thought for a bit. “Good…” she said slowly. Neyra relaxed a bit more. “…Has it been a long time since I've talked to you?”“Mhm. I'm here now because Kieran told me you got hit on the head and asked me to keep an eye on you in case anything happened.”“Oh. Well that's nice of you. And him.” A pause. “It doesn't… feel… like something he'd do.”Neyra shrugged. “You technically know him more than I do.”“Not right now, I don't,” she sighed. “I must have been really distracted when I… got hit on the head…”Neyra nodded. “Yeah. You should just be resting for now; most amnesia can clear up after a while and resting and self-care can help all the memories come back sooner and as much as possible.” It may be a long while… or maybe never…“You sound very… hopeful, about it.”“Don't you also hope you regain your memory?”“I do… but…” Her voice faded into silence. “Never mind. How long will you be staying with me?”“As long as it takes to make sure you’re okay, fully recovered and all that.”Bella nodded. “Thank you… Neyra…” she said haltingly, as if she forgot Neyra’s name for a bit.“You’re welcome.”Bella sighed and fell silent for some time. Neyra thought she had fallen asleep, so she leaned back in her chair, getting comfortable. She almost jumped when Bella asked, “What memories do you have of me?”“Hm?”“What kind of memories do you have of me? Maybe by you telling me your memories of me, it could help me start recovering all my other memories.”“Oh. That's right.” Neyra exhaled. “I have a lot of memories with you, it might take a bit to figure out where to start.”“Well it's not like I have anywhere to go,” Bella chuckled.Neyra smiled weakly. “I suppose not. Let me think…” That was a lie, saying they shared many memories. They really only shared a few, the first of which was that night at the bar, when Bella had saved Neyra from being killed by a trio of criminals. How much should she say? Should she say the truth? She took a breath. Stick to what she knows and tell the truth. That much should be enough to help her memory. “Well, how we met is an… interesting story to tell.”“Then tell it. Anything to hear your lovely voice.”Neyra felt her cheeks warm. “You think I have a lovely voice?”“Soft but well-spoken; a perfect balance of the two. It's… calming.”Neyra smiled. “Why thank you for the compliment.”“Tell me the story of how we met then.”Neyra hummed. “It was late at night in front of this pub in Greychapel. I was listening to these three guys, members of the Phantom Scythe. I followed them outside and they ambushed me, pinning me against the wall and holding a knife to my throat.” Neyra shifted; the memory was still a sore spot in her mind, to say the least.“Is everything okay?” Bella’s silhouette shifted in the dark.“I… yeah. I just…” Neyra took a heavy breath. “I’m okay. I just… I probably would have died that night if it wasn't for you. At the time, I knew nothing about self-defense. You… I have no idea where you came from really, but you interrupted them, walking up one of them and hitting them over the head. Another you punched in the face. And the leading guy, he turns around and swings his knife at you. You just… slapped him. Twice. You were completely unfazed by the situation, even though it was three versus one. And you beat them.“You were about to leave when I tried calling you back. I asked you to teach me and you… you asked me if I was willing to put in the years of work. I said yes and you told me to get my parents to find someone to teach me. I insisted and so you pushed me against the wall and held me like the guy did before. You taught me step-by-step how to defend myself in a situation like that. Then, when I asked when I could see you again, you walked away and said, ‘Never’.”The room fell silent. Neyra thought Bella was taking her time to process the entirety of that story, so she waited. “That was… that was indeed an interesting story,” Bella finally said. “Funny how that last thing turned out to be a lie in the end.”Neyra chuckled. “Indeed. Neither of us expected to be in each other’s presence ever again.”Bella nodded. “Nonetheless, thank you for being here and taking care of me.”“You’re welcome. I think it’s time for you to try to sleep now.”“…Alright. Where will you be?”“I’ll just be here. Don’t hesitate to wake me if you need anything.”“Okay…”
It was freezing on the streets of Greychapel. Snow was piled on the sides of the road and sidewalks. A young Bella sat with her knees to her chin, her back against an iced wall. The air stung her skin, sharp with every inhale, while with every exhale came with a small cloud from her mouth.
The matchboxes were piled up in her lap. There were four left of the ten she was meant to sell. The money she had earned was crumpled up in her pockets.
She shivered; no one else was on the streets. Everyone was safe and warm in their homes, like any sane or smart person. Why am I still outside then? she thought.
’Do not go home.’
But why?
’It's not safe.’
How could home not be safe? Bella shifted, her tailbone aching. She looked at the matchboxes, opening one of them. It had so many small matches inside, maybe fifty. Surely no one would notice if she took one to warm her up right?
So she took one out of the box and lit it. A small flame burst to life, one Bella cradled in her hands, trying to protect it from the cold. Her hands felt like they were burning from the heat. Bella closed her eyes, focusing on the warmth.
As the flame burned closer and closer to Bella's fingers that held the match, it began to take the shape of a small person. The flame-person gave itself a violet-blue hue where a dress would be. Long tendrils of fire reflected where long hair would be, turning into a darker shade of orange-brown. A small detailed face could be discernable where a face should be, with amethyst irises and a kind smile.
“Bella,” it whispered.
Bella opened her eyes, her head snapping up to look around. “Is someone there?”
“Down here,” said the flame, leaping off the almost burnt-out match.
Bella looked down at the flame and flinched away, surprised. “Who… what are you?”
“A friend.” Despite how hard it was to define the details of the humanoid flame, Bella could feel them smiling warmly at her.
“You sound like someone I know,” Bella said, cupping the flame person in her hands. “Do I know you?”
“Maybe not yet. But you will!”
“You're so warm,” Bella whispered.
The flame grinned. “Good! I'm glad I'm keeping you warm.”
“Where are you from? If you're from anywhere that is.”
The flame hummed. “I came from the match you lit! But I don't know how I became this. All I know is that I want to make sure you stay safe and warm, like any flame should!”
Bella smiled softly. “Thank you.”
The flame looked around. “It's freezing out here; shouldn't you be inside?”
“I need to sell these matchboxes before I can go home,” Bella sighed.
“Why?”
“Because… Because…” Bella had to think. “I… don't remember why, actually. I just know I can't go home yet, even though it's so cold.”
“Is home not safe?”
“I… no, I don't think it is.” Bella guided the flame to her shoulder, making sure her hair was out of the way of the flames before curling her knees closer to her chest.
“You should go home,” the flame said. “I'll protect you if you aren't safe.”
“What will <you> do?”
“I'm a flame, Bella,” the flame giggled. “I can burn others if I want to.”
“You haven't burned me yet.”
“Because I don't want to burn you. I quite like you.”
“Well I like you too,” Bella smiled.
Footsteps made the snow crunch, causing Bella and the flame to look up. A man with long blond hair stood before them. He knelt down to her level. “Hey, what's a little girl like you doing alone out in the cold?”
“I have to sell these matchboxes,” she said, holding them out. “They're five pounds each.”
“That's quite expensive for a box of matches.”
“But they're really good ones!” Bella gently took the living flame from her shoulder, holding it out in front of her. “See? The flames the matches make come to life!”
The little flame of violet-blue shook its supposed head at Bella. The man looked at Bella with confusion and concern. “Okay… well, a little girl like you shouldn't be out in the cold like this. Come with me, I'll get you somewhere safe and warm.”
Bella was confused. “Don't you want to buy some matches?”
“I do, but I need to go home and get my money first; I left my wallet at home, see?” He made a show of patting himself down. “Just follow me and I'll give you the money, okay?”
Bella looked at the little flame. The little flame looked between her and the man, and their light dimmed. Bella looked at the man. “My father will be looking for me…” she said half-heartedly; something in the back of her head told her that was a lie.
“I have a very warm fireplace and blankets,” he said softly. “I would feel terrible if anything happened to you out here in the freezing cold. Please?”
“Okay…”
Bella followed the man home with the violet-blue flame on her shoulder. “I don't trust him,” she heard the little flame crackle quietly.
“You can protect me if anything happens though right?”
The little flame nodded and Bella smiled. It was strangely comforting to have a little flame friend such as the one Bella had right now. “Do you have a name?” she asked.
They fell silent for a bit. “I do… but I can’t remember it right now.”
“That’s okay, you have time.”
“Who are you talking to?” the man in front of them asked.
“My little flame friend.”
“Uh huh…” He glanced back at Bella. “Will your little flame friend be joining us tonight? Should I make a meal for them as well?”
“I think that’d be nice.” Bella looked at the flame of violet-blue, who nodded slowly.
Eventually, they entered into the man’s home. There, the man lit the fireplace and finally introduced himself. “My name is Albert. What’s yours?”
“Belladonna. Bella for short.”
“That’s such a pretty name for a pretty lady,” he chuckled. “I have to ask, why does your dad have you selling matchboxes? He should have you home where it’s safe and warm.”
“He doesn't like it when he doesn't have money to spend on alcohol,” Bella said bitterly. “The money he makes at his job isn't enough, so he has me sell these matchboxes to make extra money.”
“Where do these matchboxes come from?”
“He takes them from work I think.”
Albert made a disgusted face. “Well what he's doing to you, having you go out in the cold and dark light that, unacceptable. Do you do this often? Does he have you do this often?”
Bella nodded. “He sends me out a few times a week to sell the matches and he doesn't let me go home until all the boxes he gave me to sell has been sold.”
“I see… You know, there are other ways for you to make better money than just selling matches.”
“Like what?”
“Well, people love a good performance, and since you sell matches, I have reason to think you're good with fire, yes? Have you heard of fire dancing?”
“No…”
“Well, you basically take bigger matches and play with them. You do tricks like juggling them and spinning them around, making pretty shapes and stuff. Some dancers are even able to breathe fire!”
Bella looked at him in awe. “How can they do that? Humans can't breathe fire.”
“Well, there are special liquids that the dancers can put in their mouths and spit out into a flame.”
“That sounds so cool! I want to try that! Doesn't that sound cool?” Bella turned to her shoulder, expecting to see her violet-blue flame friend listening. Nothing was there.
Albert looked at her, concerned. “Who are you talking to, Bella?”
“My little flame friend, the one I told you about. Where did they go?”
“Don't you remember?” The setting began to shift; everything seemed to crumble around her. The grey walls turned darker but the lights got brighter. Burning bright, so to speak. Albert's already bright platinum hair almost made Bella blind. “Your flame friend died.”
“What?”
“You got upset and cried over your terrible performance in front of the royals.” Bella felt terribly warm, as if she had suddenly been put in a sauna. “When you cried, your fire friend tried to comfort you, but your tears drowned them, extinguishing their once bright flame.”
The house crumbled down around them, the walls turning a horrible charcoal black and the smell of smoke accompanying it. Bella stood quickly, looking around at the place turning to black ash around her. The conversation with Albert made her feel as if she had aged a decade. Maybe she had. She turned back to where Albert was, only to find him and the dining table they sat at gone.
Instead, there lay a body of a charred woman in a violet-blue dress streaked with inky crimson across her abdomen and a golden viper hilt protruding from her chest. Her amethyst eyes were left open in shock, seemingly looking at the wet, burnt out matchstick in her hand.
Bella knelt down next to the woman's body, numb with shock. The hilt in her chest, that was Bella’s blade. That match in her hand was the one that brought Bella's fiery friend to life. “I killed her…?” Bella whispered softly. “I… killed her… Why… why would I kill her?”
You were not good enough for her, Albert's voice whispered in her ear. You knew you never would be, so you killed her. Better to have less distractions anyway, so your performance would improve.
Bella looked up to find herself on stage with the woman's body next to her. People filled the seats of the circus tent and even more stood in the aisles. All eyes were on her, but even more disturbing was that all eyes were dead; everyone in the crowd was a corpse, or looked like a corpse, except for Albert, watching her intently in the front row. “Perform for us, will you Bella?”
Bella jerked awake, still propped up against her pillows. She fixed her position, sitting up a bit more, and peeked out the window next to her bed. It was still dark outside; all she could see were the silhouettes of the nearby forest. She glanced over at the girl next to her. Neyra. That was her name. She had fallen asleep sitting in a chair and laying forward on the side of her bed. Bella reached out to her. Her hand hovered over Neyra’s cheek and she could feel her warmth. It was a very familiar warmth, one she didn’t want to lose.Neyra shifted. Bella pulled her hand back quickly as Neyra sat up, yawning. She looked at Bella. “Hey, you’re awake? Did you need something?”“Oh, I… uh… I just woke up from a… dream…” Bella wished she could see better in the dark. That familiar warmth was one she felt in that dream.“What kind of dream?”“More like a nightmare, actually…”“Oh… Do you want to talk about it?” Bella nodded slightly. Neyra stood up. “Is it okay if I turn on a lamp? I won’t make it too bright.”“Okay.” She reached for a nearby small lamp, setting it on a low brightness, and turned to face Bella. Bella tensed; Neyra wore a loose white button-up top with a beige skirt going down to her ankles, but what caught Bella’s attention was her eyes: bright purple irises full of life and concern for the patient before her; eyes exactly like the flame child who died from Bella’s tears and the woman she had killed with her dagger.
'You were not good enough for her, and you never will be.'
“Bella.”She blinked, snapping back to reality. “Sorry, I… what was— what were we talking about?”“You… said you had a nightmare, and you wanted to talk about it.”“Oh. Right.”“What happened in the nightmare?”“I… most of it is silly.”“Dreams tend to be ridiculous, just talk to me about it.”Bella looked at her closely. She couldn't help but think about Neyra's lifeless body in her hands, her knife in her chest. She felt anxiety making its home in her stomach while fear perched on her shoulder, digging its claws into her. Bella looked at her hands, pale and cold next to Neyra’s. She wanted to hold her hand, or maybe just her finger or just make any sort of contact really, if only to quiet the terror in her mind, but the fear of losing, killing Neyra felt too real, too within reach. Even at a moment like this, where Bella was bedridden, she worried that her hand touching Neyra’s would send the innocent woman wilting away.Bella sighed. “You were there, in my dream. As well as this man, Albert. I made friends with a flame that came from a match I lit. Then I met Albert and he taught me fire dancing. I forgot about the flame friend for a bit and when I asked him about them, he told me they were dead. And I saw you dead, with a match in your hand and a knife in your chest. And I had to dance after that in front of a bunch of other corpses with Albert cheering me on. It was… unsettling. I couldn’t make much sense of it.” She looked up at Neyra. “Sorry. It doesn’t make much sense to you either does it?”Neyra shook her head. “It’ll make sense once your memories come back, surely.”“If they even come back.”“Don’t think like that. Have some hope, at least for me, okay?” Neyra stood up, brushing herself off. She leaned towards Bella, placing the back of her hand on her forehead. “Well, it’s safe to say you’re not running a fever, although you’re a tad warm. It’s probably just the blankets right now. Is there anything I can get you right now before you go back to sleep?”“Back to sleep?”Neyra nodded. “You really do need a lot of rest if you’re to recover more. At least for a day or so of bed rest. After that, when you feel like you’re up for it, we can try going for a walk.”“I guess…” Neyra sat back down. “Do you know of anyone named Albert?”“Well, what does he look like?”“He has long platinum blond hair and that’s all I can remember.”“Albert…” Neyra sat in silence for a moment, thinking. “Maybe Viscount Albert Redcliff?”Fear dug itself deeper into Bella, making her head feel heavier than it should on her shoulders. “I think that’s the right guy. I don’t know why he was in my dream though…”“An issue for another time, Bella. You should go back to sleep.”Bella sighed. “I don’t think I can sleep right now…”Neyra hummed. “How about you just lean back and close your eyes? I’ll go turn off the lamp.”Bella hesitantly agreed, doing as Neyra suggested as she went to turn the lamp off. Neyra sat back down in her chair. “May I hold your hand?” she asked Bella. “Maybe something tactile can help you focus on letting yourself rest too.”Bella ran her thumb along her index finger, still rattled from the nightmare. I don't want to wake to see you dead in my hands again... “You… want to hold my hand…? Are you sure?”Neyra looked at her, confused. “I do… otherwise I wouldn’t be asking,” she chuckled. “If you don’t want me to though that’s okay, you can say no.”Bella hesitated. “I… no, I do want… to hold your hand, if you’re okay with it…” Neyra took her hands, sending chills down Bella’s spine, she almost pulled away. Her touch was so comforting and warm… Bella never wanted to let go. She gently ran her thumb across the back of Neyra’s hand, leaning back. She didn’t want to close her eyes just yet out of fear that Neyra would be gone when they opened again. “How long will you be staying with me again?”“At least a few days, or until you’re well enough to be on your own again.”Bella nodded, sighing. “Okay.”“Why do you ask?”“I just… wanted to know… or remember, I guess, since I’ve already asked you and you answered similarly.” She looked at Neyra, taking in her shadowy silhouette. “I’m gonna close my eyes now then…” Please still be there when I wake…“Alright. I’m here if you need anything.”“…Thank you.”