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These moments of silence were likely to kill him.She was right there, as she promised she would be. Hand in his, happy to go wherever and listen to him rattle on about the history and culture of where and whenever they landed.She was still Rose Tyler. He was still The Doctor.Just not her Doctor. Not anymore.He hadn't meant to hear those thoughts. He knew Rose wasn't a fan of telepathy, but one evening, a mere three Earth weeks since he'd regenerated, Rose had fallen asleep in the galley, and he'd picked her up to carry her to her bed.She'd been dreaming about him. Not this new him, all skinny and flash. No, the previous him with the deep Northern accent and icy blue eyes. Her Doctor, she'd called him in the dream.The Doctor knew she'd need a little space to mourn.It was only natural. Rose is human, after all, and he'd not bothered to mention regeneration to her before hand- hadn't thought it would come up quite so soon, honestly. But when she looked into the heart of the TARDIS, became the Bad Wolf- it was only by taking that raw power from her that he could save her. It cost him that face, a regeneration, but he'd give a thousand lifetimes if it meant saving Rose.But the regeneration also meant a shift in their relationship.In Earth time, as it passed for Rose, it had been four months, two weeks and one day since he'd regenerated.Regenerating had reminded him of loss. It became consuming, remembering how outliving everyone he'd ever loved felt. He'd pulled back from her, trying to guard his hearts- but she'd not tried to come closer, either. She was apprehensive, having lost him, in a way.With his previous self, on a small handful of occasions, they'd been intimate. It was close to the end of his time with that body. He remembered every second of it for the bliss it was. The way that body, his own, just not this one, felt against her, inside her. It was so rare he'd allowed himself a lover...Wives, sure. He'd even had a few marriages he'd ended up in on accident a time or three. He'd cared for all of them on one level or another.But it was even more rare he felt as deeply for them as he did Rose Tyler.No. The Doctor shook his head. Never like Rose Tyler.He was still that man.However, he knew how that could be for Rose.A new face, body, voice- even his mannerisms had shifted a bit in this new self he'd come into. It would be hard on anyone, having someone they'd held that closely change so much. He was the same man, but also different in nearly every way that was evident to Rose. He knew that.He knew that he knew. He was The Doctor, after all. Clever as they come. He understood the absolute innermost workings of time and space and existence. He understood how it was on her side. She needed to mourn. To grieve the him she'd lost. Learn to know the him he'd become now- and in a way, they were doing that together.It was just that she was keeping secrets now.Or rather, one very big secret. He'd known about it for a while now, but it was something he wanted her to be forthcoming with, not the sort of thing he could simple admit he already knew. But he'd been waiting weeks.She sat across from him, mess blonde locks in a haphazard bun on top of her head, still clad in pajamas. She was still not quite awake, eyes transfixed on the table as she automatically scooped bites of food from her bowl and ate, a sleepy autopilot.They were in the TARDIS breakfast nook, having some of the most exotic, interplanetary fruit salad to ever exist. Even for a quiet morning, it should've been nice.The secret had gotten to him. The silence had gotten to him.The Doctor was tired of waiting for her to be ready to tell him.He'd adjusted their lives to it.If she'd noticed that their adventures had been tamer than they were before, she'd not mentioned it to him. After all, he'd put a lot of thought and care into avoiding danger like they'd previously been so good at finding. Too much at stake now, not worth the risk- even if she'd said nothing. He'd never intended to put her at risk before, of course. But now-Now he couldn't let any potential harm anywhere near the very accident prone girl.Exasperated, he dropped his spoon into his own bowl and slid it away roughly, heaving out a heavy sigh.Rose looked up at him. She'd not bothered to take her makeup off before sleeping, and they day old mascara made her lashes stick as she blinked up at him, head cocked as she gave him a puzzled look."Are you going to tell me or not?" He huffed. Rose tilted her head the opposite direction."Wot?" She ask around a bite of food. She chewed faster and forced the bite down, then cleared her throat. "Tell you... what?""Is it because it was the previous me?" He continued, ignoring her returned questions."What are you on about?" Rose demanded, eyebrows furrowed at him. She was awake now, and in true Rose Tyler form- had her claws at the ready. Sometimes she was very much her mother's daughter."I am still every bit as much me, you know." He said, his voice raising slightly. He sounded almost... Angry. Rose wasn't used to that being sent her direction.Not from him."I know you are." She said firmly, flinging her own spoon down now. "Its evident in the little things- like that temper." Her lip curled up in a snarl as she finished snapping back at him."No, I mean it. I am still the man you met that day at Henrik's. Even when changed, on a very real genetic level, DNA level- I am still the same." He had the voice he used when giving a speech to someone who is about to cause harm, his firm, commanding voice. He slapped at the table in time with his words, trying to emphasize himself."You've made that abundantly clear." Rose remarked, clicking her tongue against her teeth."Then when, exactly, where you planning on telling me about the baby, Rose?"
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Rose's large brown eyes grew wider.She blinked back at the Doctor, utterly, completely, and terrifyingly lost."Seriously." She said, pushing back from the table. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at the Doctor as if he had absolutely gone insane. "What are you on about?""Oh," He scoffed, throwing his head back dramatically, "Rose Tyler, don't give me that. You know what I'm talking about. The baby. Our baby. Might not have been this body that helped you conceive, Rose, but I am that child's father. I do think at some point we are going to need to discuss it."He felt the anger boiling up inside, hearts pounding in his ears, causing them to flush red. How could she even dare to play dumb on something this big?Rose gripped at the edge of the table, staring him down. She looked a good mix between confused and absolutely cross."Having a laugh now, Doctor?" Rose said, licking her teeth. The Doctor watched her, noticing her normal defensive ticks as they spoke. "Because this isn't what I'd call 'funny', you know.""Do I seem to be joking to you?" He shot back, crossing his own arms and narrowing his eyes."You're accusing me of being pregnant?" Rose scoffed. The Doctor said nothing, but his eyes briefly flicked down from her face to her stomach and back up. "I bloody well think I'd know if I was five months gone, wouldn't I?"Had it been that long?He paused to think, remembering the last time they'd been together before his regeneration. She was right, of course. But five months into a pregnancy that would be a whooping sixteen months... well, that's fairly early on.Again, The Doctor looked her up and down. His face paled. In an instant his entire demeanor changed. Expression softened. His eyes fell away as he thought, his mind racing.She didn't know.She didn't know she was pregnant and this was how she'd found out. In a fight he'd picked, no less.He kicked himself mentally for not even considering that she'd not known yet."Doctor?"He looked back up to her, seeing how afraid she looked. Tears welled up in her eyes, lower lip trembling."You didn't know." He whispered. Rose blinked and the tears escaped, sending streaks of the day-old mascara running with them.In a flash, her makeup wasn't the only thing running.Her bare feet echoed as she ran from the room to her bedroom, leaving him sitting in silence over their abandoned breakfast.Pain twisted the Doctor's face.This would be his second half-human child.He'd suffered the loss of his son over six hundred years ago, but it hadn't even began to hurt less to think of. Here he was, centuries later, a father-to-be once again, and he'd mucked it up first thing. Rose had no idea what she was in for- what was happening to her body.The Doctor sat at the table, still staring at the spot she'd been sitting in seconds before. Mind racing.
At first, when the TARDIS had signaled new heartbeats on board, the Doctor had been devastated. His first thought wasn't that he was even a possibility, but either Jack or Mickey. But Rose simply liked flirting with Jack- and she and Micky weren't together for some time now. Not since she'd started traveling with him. He hated himself for even thinking of Rose that way. No, he knew exactly how she felt about him. Rose Tyler was nothing if not loyal.
Two heartbeats- he quickly discovered through a routine passenger scan using the TARDIS health system was not twins like he'd first thought, but rather one hybrid fetus- with one possible father.
"Oh God..." The Doctor breathed, head in his hands, "What have I done?"Alone in her room behind a locked door, Rose lay on her bed. Her thoughts raced with her.How had everything gone so very wrong?He was the one who insisted he was the same man. She'd seen him change. Hell, she'd been the reason, he gave up that form to save her. But despite his constant reminders that he was still himself, he treated her differently after changing. No matter how Rose tried to get back what they'd had- he didn't seem to want it back.He'd flirt around her then skirt away, never getting too close. No longer took her to romantic places, like the planet with the flash frozen ocean, or little restaurants on far away planets with food Earth could never dream of. They still played intergalactic tourist, but nothing had been the same.He'd even gone so far as to leave her, and Micky for that matter, on a ship with no other way off, and kiss someone else in front of her. After that, Micky went home and she'd hoped he'd come back around to her; No such luck yet, however.Rose laid still, thinking. It was this change that caused her to miss the other him so very much. She knew how he felt before. He'd showed her every day in a million ways.Tears still streamed down the sides of her face as she stared up at the vaulted ceiling, the twinkling fairy lights the Doctor had helped her put up her only light source.He'd told her himself that with the change, he had to figure out who he was. Maybe, she thought, the feelings he'd had for her didn't carry over. But now he was angry with her for supposedly keeping secrets from him. Accusing her of hiding a pregnancy? Seriously?He had to be daft. There was no other explanation.Although-Rose squeezed her eyes tight and let the tears that had gathered fall off before using the sleeve of her pajama shirt to wipe her eyes. She sat up and looked over to her bedside table, where the calendar planner she kept to help her keep track of herself in a liner sense laid. She picked it up and flipped back through the pages, realizing that in their travels, and with the chaos of a regeneration, she'd forgot to keep tabs on her period.It was quite late.The spiral bound calendar fell from her shaking hands as she covered her mouth, only a squeak of realization escaping."Rose?"The Doctor's voice called from the other side of her door. She stood and walked over to the sink in her en suite bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror, ignoring his knocking.Slowly, Rose took her hair down from the knot of messy bedhead bun it was in, and she brushed it out. She then soaked a clothe in warm water and began to was her face, wiping away the smears of old makeup and tears that marked her cheeks."Rose, please." He pleaded from outside the door.She stood before the door and tilted her head to one side, not really thinking at all. She felt deep betrayal. Hurt. Abandonment.Heaven knows she was trying very hard to see the Doctor the same way, but she couldn't help but miss the before Doctor."Rose. Please. Talk to me." He begged.Rather than answer him, she instead moved over to the closet and took out a simple violet blouse and light colored jeans, and changed out of her pajamas. Once she was fully dressed, she moved back into the bathroom and reapplied her eye makeup and pulled her hair into a half-up style to keep her fringe out of her eyes. All the while, the Doctor stood outside her bedroom door, knocking and begging her to speak to him.This ritual was something her mother had taught her. Readying herself like putting on armor. Make herself feel beautiful and good and confident before anything daunting (though Jackie Tyler meant tests or job interviews, not facing unplanned alien pregnancies, the lesson still applied) so Rose did just that. She made herself look nice. Her own personal armor. She stood on the other side of the door, listening to the Doctor's voice grow more desperate and upset."Rose, I am literally beggi-""What do you want?" She called back, staring at the closed door, arms crossed over her chest."Will you please open the door?" He pleaded."No. Tell me what you want." Rose snapped back."I want to see you." The Doctor answered, his voice sounding weaker than she'd ever heard. "Rose. Please."Rose padded on her bare feet over to the door frame and slapped the button to unlock the door, turned on the overhead lights, then she turned and sat on her bed, scooting to the middle of the mattress, sitting with her legs crossed, her arms wrapped around her middle."Door is unlocked." She sighed.Outside Rose's now unlocked bedroom door, the Doctor waited.She'd just unlocked it, but she'd not welcomed in him in. She simply informed him that she'd unlocked it, but it wasn't the invitation he'd hoped for."Rose?""I said it's open." She replied with a snap.Slowly, the Doctor opened the door. He could see she was poised in the center of her bed, her large brown eyes fixed on the door. He opened his mouth to speak, or apologize, or just tell her how stunning she was- but she cut him off."How could I not know I'm five months pregnant?" She ask, her words shaky with the nervous tremor she was fighting hard against. She looked more terrified than he'd ever seen her- and she'd been in some seriously life threatening situations thanks to him."It, uh," The Doctor began, trying to find the words. His mouth felt dry and his tongue stuck to his teeth as he tried to speak. "Gallifreyan children... they develop slower than humans. Takes longer to incubate, with the two hearts and all." He replied gently. "Compared with a human pregnancy, the fetus is about the size a fully human child would be at eight or nine weeks gestation.""Oh." Rose nodded. Her eyes fell to the floor between them. "So how long is a Gallifreyan pregnancy?""About sixteen months." The Doctor replied, still keeping his voice as gentle and calm as possible. He moved closer in the room, waiting to see if she'd react, or kick him out. Creeping closer like he was approaching a wild mustang, he came over and sat on the bed."And hybrid children?" Rose ask quietly, her voice still so broken."Well..." The Doctor sighed. "The only other one I knew of personally, the child was more human than Time Lord, and he only had one heart. He was born at ten months gestation. The one you're carrying has two."Rose looked like she was either deep in thought or a thousand miles away from him. She took a deep, shuttering breath, and looked up."Why was he more human? This one you knew of." Rose ask."He was conceived on Earth." The Doctor explained. "His mother and I-""Your son?" Rose repeated, sadness for him shining in her eyes."Yeah." He nodded. "One of them."The Doctor had continued to explain a bit, but Rose had to hold up a hand to stop him talking, because she'd lost the ability to think. She felt as if her brain were full of angry wasps, their enraged buzzing and swarming blocking her ability to logically think.He'd mentioned he'd lost everything. He'd even said something about being a father a long time ago in passing while talking with Jack. She was realizing the reality of the Doctor telling her he was 900 years old. He'd loved and lost. Fought wars, given everything. Tears rolled down her cheeks before she knew what was happening."Rose?" He called gently, pulling her attention back."Hmm?" She hummed, her tone still numb. She blinked several times before looking back to him."I was just explaining. Children conceived in the time vortex always Time Lords. Its a mutation that occurs naturally due to exposure. The Gallifreyan use and harnessing ability caused our whole people to be born with the Time Lord abilities." He finished.Rose heard his words, and tucked them in her mind to revisit later, when everything was less buzzy in her head."Doctor," Rose looked up, finally meeting his eye. "Doctor- Why do you treat me different now? Is it something I did wrong? Because I was confused and scared when you changed? I don't understand. Is it because I'm pregnant? Help me understand..." She broke down into thick, body wracking sobs as she spoke, covering her eyes with one hand as she cried.The Doctor gently moved closer, taking the hand she had clutching at the blankets in his own."I wanted to give you time to process." He explained, his own voice strained due to the suppressed emotion. "I never wanted to hurt you in any way. I just-" He paused, took a deep breath and slowly blew out the excess air. "I knew that before I was a bit... Bulkier? More muscular? I didn't know how you'd feel about this body. I also know I do act a bit different now. But believe me, Rose. Nothing has changed about you and I.""You have a shit ways of showing it, ya know? Could've just ask me at any time, I would be glad to tell you that I'm equally attracted to the new look..." Rose sighed. "You act as if you're jealous of yourself. As if its not you I like you for."The Doctor simply looked at her, stunned."How'd you even find out before me?" She ask, cutting off his thoughts."TARDIS heath screening. Picked up the extra heartbeats." He explained."Why'd you not talk to me then?" Rose ask. "How long have you been sitting on this?""I found out about four months ago and I-"Slap.Much like her mother, Rose landed a hand firmly against his left cheek. He'd previously not thought that would be a danger with Rose, but he knew he deserved this one."Four months? Four MONTHS?" She screeched. "Get out.""But Rose, don't you think we should-""Get. Out." She growled through gritted teeth. Hot, angry tears were now streaming through her fresh mascara.The Doctor stood and back away from the bed, until he was standing in her door frame."Rose...""I can't talk to or look at you right now." She said, eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Please, if you do still care for me... Leave me alone for now."The Doctor nodded and walked out, shutting the door behind him. He promptly put his back against the opposite wall and slid down until he was sitting, facing her door. He needed to be close, in case she needed him, but he also wanted to give her the space she needed. He knocked the back of his head against the cool metal wall of the TARDIS hallway."What have I done?" He lamented aloud to no one in particular.
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Seventy-two more hours of the heaviest silence the Doctor had ever endured.He kept tabs on Rose, sure. Made sure she was eating, she was alright, physically speaking.He was waiting for her to come tell him she wanted to go home.It was all he could think of- how his mistreatment would make her want to leave him. She'd be right to do so.
'Live a life as long as I have... you can assume I've... danced... before...'
It was that night, even though they'd picked up a the stray that was Jack Harkness, she'd first came to his room.Before that, it had been an unspoken rule. No bedrooms. He dare not enter hers- ever the gentlemen, and she'd never had any reason to come into his.
'You owe me a dance.' She'd said, tongue just poking through her toothy grin.
'We danced!' The Doctor had defended. 'Cut a real rug.'
'No, not like before.' She'd crossed the room, stopping about a foot from him.
'No music in here.' He'd defended, swallowing thickly. He'd wanted to run, but as she was in his most private place on the whole bloody ship- Where could he go?
'Two hearts provide plenty of rhythm, I should think.' She held our her hand.
Before he knew what had happened, Rose was in his arms, her arms around his neck and her cheek resting on his chest. They swayed gently for a while before either of them spoke, but finally the Doctor broke the silence.
'You really are something else, Rose Tyler.' He'd murmured into her hair. She'd looked up at him with her large, dark chocolate eyes.
Her face was in his palm.
Lips brushed.
Mouths opened. Kisses deepened. Hands wandered.
Then, somehow, the Doctor was waking up and remembering just how he'd ended up with the naked Goddess that was Rose Tyler sleeping soundly in his bed.
The sound of the console room door opening alerted the Doctor to her presence. He'd been working on making the stabilizers for landing smoother, not something completely necessary, but it was something to occupy his time while Rose was avoiding him. She came in and sat on the empty bench behind the jump seat. She still carried herself with the guarded posture of keeping her abdomen covered. He offered her a smile but was met with no returned sentiment."I'm ready to talk about it now." She said mousily.The Doctor laid down his wrench and looked over the tangle of wires he'd pulled from their places. "Alright." He nodded, silently relieved. "Here? Or...?""Hmm. Library, maybe?" She suggested. The library was one of Rose's favorite places in the whole TARDIS. It had shelves with self contained gravity that kept the books from flying off as they sailed through time and space, plus several plush, comfortable chairs and couches."Why don't you go ahead, I'll bring a tray and some tea?" He suggested. Rose had nodded and ducked back out as quickly as she'd came in. The Doctor hoped she'd be there when he finally did make it with the tea.He took the time getting a tea tray ready to still his own nerves. Put out all four of her favorite flavors of tea, sugar and honey for sweetener, and at least five types of biscuit. It was almost too cluttered to put the kettle on the tray by the time the water was hot, but he found a way to make it all fit. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and prayed to anyone listening that the conversation he was about to have didn't put him into double cardiac arrest.He found her in his favorite chair- over stuffed green chair that could've easily sat the two of them. He'd had it longer than he cared to admit, at least a century or two- and it was patched in a couple places. But rather than being comfortably snuggled back into the soft upholstery, she was sitting on the very edge of the cushion, nervously twisting the end of the braid she had in her hand. He sat the tray on the coffee table beside her and then dragged another chair over from its place in the corner."I'm sorry." He sighed, looking at her tired face.His beautiful Rose looked exhausted. He didn't know whether she'd been sleeping or not, but it looked as if she had at least not been sleeping restfully."Me too." She shrugged."You don't have anything to be sorry for." He replied gently as she moved about, making herself a cup of tea. "You were right at each point. I have been treating you differently. I did mishandle our situation. I've been an absolute ass.""You won't hear me argue that." Rose snorted, giving the only genuine smile he'd seen in days. He tried to return an equally genuine one, but couldn't bring himself to stop looking distressed."I want to answer a question you asked me, before." The Doctor started, blowing a large breath toward the hair that had fallen over his brow."Alright, yeah." Rose nodded."When I regenerated, I was... I was reminded of mortality. Rose- A regeneration can age, but I can't die. Not in the normal sense. If nothing goes horribly wrong, then theoretically, I could age with you. I was aiming to look more your age when I changed, but it is a bit of a lottery."Rose licked her lips and nodded, both hands grasping her mug, though she'd not even sipped at it yet."But one day, I will lose you, Rose." He continued, voice breaking. "And I-"Rose knew of the Time War. His life on Gallifrey. Running away. His marriages and relationships, families... Children and even grandchildren he'd lost over his long centuries. She'd be another one. She knew that. From the moment he told her he was a nine hundred year old alien, she knew that eventually she'd be gone. It made her feel all the more special that he chose to give her any of his time, as to her The Doctor was something larger than life. And everywhere they went, seeing how he helped people, how whole armies would run at the mention of his name... she was all the more in awe of him."You pulled back because you'd forgotten that it was your reality." She guessed. The Doctor looked away and nodded, but Rose didn't miss the tear streaking down his cheek."Yeah." He breathed."That's still true, you know." Rose replied, her voice low and serious."No, its worse." He looked back to her. "Its much, much worse.""How?" Rose ask, finally sipping at the steaming mug in her hands."It won't just be me." The Doctor explained, his face twisted in the pain of his words, "It'll be us that lose you. Two hearts, Rose. The baby is a Time Lord.""Then I'll have helped you stop being alone." Rose replied quickly. "That's all I've wanted this entire time."The Doctor sat gobsmacked by what she'd just said. It wasn't as if she was facing her immediate doom, of course, but it would never be enough time."When I did what I did in the Time War... What I was forced to do..." He took a shuddered breath, "I hated myself so so much. I was running. Chasing anyone and anything I could save. That's why I was at your shop that day. I saw you- Gods but how you took my breath away..."Rose smiled as he remembered aloud."I never could've imagined you could make me love you so much I'd forget I hate myself." He confessed, spouting the words as if he might lose the bravery needed to say them."Excuse me?" Rose ask, blinking at him."I said I love you." The Doctor repeated. "I've said it before... Except at the time you were asleep and I had that Northern Accent you liked to pick on so much."Tears welled up in Rose's eyes."Now that's- That's not fair." She stuttered, her emotions escaping the tight hold she'd held them with until his revelation. "You... You can't just..."Rose closed her eyes, a sob wracking her body. She felt dizzy, and tried to still herself by holding her head in her hands. She felt the gentle touch of the Doctor's hands over hers, and slowly she allowed him to pull them away so he could see her face."I never meant for anything to happen to you, Rose." He promised, "I just- I tried to keep my distance. I did. Then you started talking about dancing and I knew bloody well you didn't mean to music... I gave in. Its been so long since I let myself be close to anyone- I never imagined when I actually tried to find a friend I'd find the love of my lives."At this statement, Rose cried harder."Please, sweet girl," The Doctor tried to soothe her, "I know this isn't fair. But its all in the open now, and yours to do with what you want. I've been talking like I just assumed you'd want to continue this pregnancy, so for that, I am once again terribly sorry.""Serious right now?" Rose blubbered, wiping her face with her open palms, "Doctor, 'course I want to keep the baby. So what if I don't get but the one lifetime with you?- I'd rather have you both than anything else.""So you're staying?" The Doctor ask hopefully."Do you want to be with me?" Rose ask, not answering his question."More than anything in this universe." He breathed."Then I'm staying."
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Another month aboard the TARDIS passed slowly for Rose.A decision to be together was one thing. Spoken commitment, sure. But for the Doctor, putting that in practice was another entirely.There were kisses now. Oh stars, how she had missed his kisses. New lips, sure, but the same man was behind them, caressing her mouth with his own.But to Rose, it still felt like things were too slow. Like somehow they'd taken a step backward in their relationship. Which would've been okay with Rose, if not for her bloody hormones. Thanks to that, little things were just setting fire to her.Gentle touches to her cheek when he kissed her good morning.The way it felt when he'd stroke the back of her hand with his thumb when they would leisurely stroll in a park or beach somewhere he deemed safe enough for them.The way he'd catch her looking at something at a market stall, and he'd wrap his arms around her from behind and gently rest his hands on her lower abdomen, often including the same loving thumb stroke.It was making her insane.It was no help that sometimes she'd fall asleep with him in her bed, laying against her stomach as he read aloud to their growing child, only to wake up alone. She understood that he needed substantially less sleep, but before his change he normally stayed with her until she was awake as well.It was one such morning like this that Rose woke up and noticed right off as she stood at the foot of her bed in her pajama bottoms and tank top, her body had began visibly to change. It was amazing to Rose thinking how small her little bump was, considering if she were carrying a human child she'd be huge by six months. She grinned as she lifted her shirt to get a better view, turning to the side in the mirror and rubbing a hand over her growing child."Hey in there..." Rose laughed, "I see you!"She'd been so entertained with her baby bump she'd not noticed the Doctor had come in and propped up in the doorway, watching her strike poses in the mirror as she greeted their baby."Look at you, then." He called with a grin, causing her to jump. She turned quickly to face him, then immediately turned to the side to show him the changes."Doctor." She bit at her tongue, rubbing one hand over her middle once again, "Look at them.""Growing like a weed." He replied with a small smile, running a hand through his hair.Rose pulled her shirt down and looked him over. Something was wrong. He looked tired, like he'd skipped his sleep cycle altogether. He wasn't put together in one of his usual suits, but had shown up in an untucked button-down shirt and khaki trousers. The only piece of his normal ensemble were his dirty white converse shoes. She furrowed her brow, the joy she'd woken up with quickly turning to worry for her partner."Wa's wrong?" She yawned, the yawn catching her off guard. "You look... off.""Well, you look gorgeous enough for both of us, so I won't take it too personally." He snorted, humored."I'm bein' serious right now. What is going on with you?" She cleared the distance between them and took his hand."You left your phone in the Console Room." He said, taking the phone from his pocket with his free hand. "Your mum called, several times. So eventually, I answered. Never know, something could've been wrong.""Yeah? Was something wrong?" She pressed.The Doctor rolled his head back, making the 'ehhhh' noise she had come to know as 'Maybe but I don't want to tell you...', so she crossed her arms over her chest."Doctor. Is something wrong with my mother?" She insisted."Not yet." He answered finally. Rose's face fell."What does that mean?" She pressed, scrolling her phone, looking for any missed messages."Well, when she and I spoke-""You talked to her?" Rose interrupted."Rose, please. I'm trying to explain. You're going to need to let me talk." The Doctor sighed. Rose nodded and handed the phone back to him, so he could place it back in his pocket."Alright, yeah. Sorry, go on, then." She nodded."Jackie was at work the other night and had a bit of a 'spell', she called it. Said she was very light headed and passed out. The took her to hospital, and she's got an appointment with a cardiologist." The Doctor explained. "She's fine, she's at home. It wasn't a heart attack." He added, seeing the questions in her big brown eyes."We have to go see her!" Rose said, running over to her closet to dress."Rose-""No, really, go set course." She called over her shoulder as she shuffled into a loose sundress."Rose-" He tried again, watching her throw clothes into a bag."Now!" She huffed."ROSE!" He finally raised his voice. She paused, looking over at him. "We're already here."Rose was listening intently to her mother recount the events of the entire week that lead up to the 'spell' that had scared Rose so badly. The Doctor, who had already suffered through the entire story, let his mind wander as he sat on the armrest on the chair Rose was in. He was busying his hands by repairing a small wall clock her mother had said no longer kept time even with fresh batteries. Half-way through the story, the phone rang and Jackie stood to answer it in the kitchen."How long did it take her to tell you all this?" Rose sighed, quite bored with her mother's long tale."Like... forty-five minutes?" He shrugged, laughing as Rose's eyes grew wide. "What?""Can't believe you spent that much time on the phone with my mother." Rose shook her head. "You, who made a joke about cooking her.""Still think a nice slow roast would be best." He replied with a wink.The both turned as she called from the kitchen, letting them know it was one of her newest dates calling to check up on her, and that she was going to take the call in her bedroom. Rose waved as she went off, and the Doctor took the empty seat Jackie had left."...So..." The Doctor said, popping his lips several times, making a fish-like noise."So?" She parroted back."Are we going to... ya know..." He nodded to her stomach, which Rose had covered with a cardigan over her already flowy dress."Are you insane?" She hissed. "She is having heart trouble. Unlike you, she hasn't got a spare, has she? This might push her over the edge.""Rose, Darling, I don't think waiting is the best idea either..." He reminded her.The two of them had discussed this a few days prior. How they'd tell Jackie. Rose wasn't ready to, not so much because she was having a baby- She was twenty, on her own, and not scared of telling her mother about her grandchild. It was that her mother would have questions about when and how the relationship with the Doctor had changed, and in that aspect, she was not ready to have that conversation with her mother. Not while they were still working out 'being together' themselves.All Rose's life, her mother had tried to keep the sort of relationship with her daughter where she would feel comfortable speaking to her mother about sex. She knew there would be more questions than she'd want to answer, and honestly, Rose thought she wanted to discuss that with the Doctor before she spilled her hormonal desires and frustrations to her mother and risk her mother not keeping the secret.Rose shook her head."No. Not yet." She insisted. "The specialist appointment is in three days. We can stay until we know she's alright, yeah?""Of course." He nodded, not giving it a second thought. Rose beamed."You've changed." She teased. "You'd never agree to that before. Almost left me behind for trying to get you to stay for dinner."The Doctor looked her over and his gaze softened."To be loved is to be changed." He replied quietly. Again Rose gave him one of her signature tongue-biting grins."Softy." She teased again, tossing a throw pillow toward him. The door to the bedroom down the hall opened and The Doctor rose from her seat as Jackie came back in, so he took his place beside Rose again."That was Davey. Wanted to come by later, I told him he'd have to wait, that my Rose was home." She smiled happily at her daughter. "I don't suppose you're here for long though, are you?""Well, actually." The Doctor spoke before Rose could. "We'd like to see you through the tests. Let us stay here with you. Rose can help you cook, I can fix anything else that needs repairing. Sounds like your washer has a knock...""Wha's gotten into 'em?" Jackie looked at Rose, almost shocked."Mum. Heart problems are serious. We talked about it, we want to help." She reiterated."Somethin' is different with you." She narrowed her eyes, looking from the Doctor to Rose and back again. "Both of you.""Well..." The Doctor said, giving the 'I don't want to tell' neck roll in reply."We're sort of... together now." Rose finished quickly.The Doctor reached down and took Rose's hand and held their joined hands up."Surprise?" He added.Jackie looked them over again and scoffed, but then gave them a smile."Well, it was about time, wasn't it?" She snorted at their faces. "I knew that first time I seen her looking at you, after the 'oops its been a year' fiasco. Bout bloody time you two figured it out. I'll be glad to have you stay for a bit, yeah!" She grinned.The Doctor squeezed Rose's hand again and looked over. He'd not had the heart to tell either of them that while Rose was in the loo and Jackie had her back to them, putting a kettle on, he'd scanned her heart himself and saw the blockages in her arteries. He felt it was better if it came from a medical doctor rather than himself. Besides, it was really quite treatable, and he simply wanted to be there for Rose and his child's grandmother.Even if it meant being stuck in a small flat for a week with Jackie Tyler.
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Two hours.That is the most the Doctor could make himself sleep in one go. Two hours, and even that was a bit much for him.Laying next to Rose as she slept however restlessly, eyes open, staring at the ceiling.Were they aboard his ship, there would be an infinite number of things he could get up and do to occupy his mind until Rose awoke.He'd fallen asleep before her for a change, his Rose wrapped tightly in his arms. However, upon waking, her dreams were once again a bit too much for him.It wasn't completely that she was still dreaming about his former self.It was that she'd float between dreaming about both of them; One dream about his blue-eyed, leather clad former body, the next dream his new self. All of them a bit... private... in nature. It felt like he was seeing something he shouldn't, even if he'd been part of it, being in her private subconscious like that. Rose dreamed loudly, any skin to skin contact, even just holding her hand, would put her visions in his mind. It didn't help that she often moaned aloud in her sleep either.Some of these sleepy visions were memories. Their bodies intertwined in a dance of fire and passion- memories of just exactly where their growing child came from.Others, the ones in which he appeared as he was now- he had to back away. It was a bit much for him just yet. He was still unsure on these new feet, much less comfortable enough in this new body to attempt to be with Rose.In short, the Doctor was afraid.Afraid he'd not be what she needed, nor what she wanted, when they did get to that point. He didn't want to fail her, or not be able to satisfy her.The Doctor sat up and took in his surroundings, roughly rubbing his face with one hand. The lights from the Estate grounds poured in the blinds of the window of the flat, painting Rose and the room in a red-orange glow. He rubbed his eyes to better adjust his vision to the dim light. Rose's bed was pushed against the wall below the window, and she'd made him take the inside of bed, so she could get up during the night to hit the loo when needed, trapping him up against the wall.Gently, the Doctor nudged at Rose, who gave him a grumble but did not awaken."Rose?" He whispered. She snored softly back.'Well', he thought to himself, 'Maybe I can just...'He moved slowly from the covers, and as gently as possible he swung one long leg over her, followed by the accompanying arm. She stirred slightly and he froze, not even breathing, trying to keep her asleep. He just wanted something to do. Might pop to the TARDIS to grab a book, maybe wander the street for a bit. He wasn't leaving, he just couldn't stay there where he'd be subjected to the accidental psychic onslaught of his hormonal partner.Once he was safely on the floor beside the bed, he stooped down and grabbed his shoes from under the bed frame, creeping out from room, opening the door with the same slow, careful pace he'd used to escape the bed. He pulled the door behind him and waited, listening to make sure he'd not woken Rose up.Down the hall, the Doctor could hear the sound of late night television playing on low, the faint flicker of blue-white light on the hallway walls signaled that Jackie had fallen asleep in front of the tele, as Rose had mentioned was her normal habit.Shoes in hand, he continued slinking slowly down, doing his very best to make little to no noise if possible. He checked the clock on the wall against his internal one and concluded it was late enough that Jackie should be out as well. He couldn't see her from where he was, as the couch had its back to the hall, but he kept slow just in case. He'd almost made it to the door when a voice from the sitting room nearly made him jump out of his skin, both hearts racing."Headed off, are ya?" Jackie called, her voice harsh and angry."Ahh... Not so much, really." The Doctor defended. "Just erm... I don't really sleep much. Don't need to, as it were. And I get a bit restless, just laying still, you see.""Oh, is that right?" Jackie said, turned around from her place on the couch, her eyes drilling into his."Normally, I just go find something to do. Something to work on. Something to read. That's all- was going for a book. I fixed your washing machine last night while you two slept, so I just needed something else to do." He promised. He swallowed as he watched Rose's mother consider him carefully. She stood from her seat and came around to the back of the couch, propping against it, arms crossed."Are you?" She urged, her eyes so sharp even in this dim light he felt as if she was searching his very soul. A protective mother if ever there was one."Yes." He nodded. "Cross my hearts."Jackie looked at him again, clicked her tongue against her teeth and shook her head."You can't just leave her again. Not like this..." Jackie said. "Not that I'd be upset to have my girl home, mind, but she'd be destroyed. Absolutely devastated.""Jackie, believe me." The Doctor pleaded, trying to keep their volume low, "There is no force in this universe that would keep me from her. Not now. If you don't believe me, come with me. Just going to grab the book I'd been reading. Maybe the next couple in the set to have for reading while you two sleep."She considered him for a moment. It looked as if she wanted to argue more, but she waved him off."Fine, on your head be it." She snorted. "Just know if you don't wander on back here by the time she's up in the morning, it'll be me you answer to. Its one thing for you two to not want to tell me about the pregnancy, but God help you, Doctor, if you leave her again...""You know?" His eyes were wide."Of course I know!" Jackie scoffed, her voice raising. "You think I can't tell when my own daughter's body has changed? I knew when she walked in.""Jackie, please, I'm begging you, please keep your voice down..." The Doctor sputtered, his hands held up. "I'm seriously just going to get my book. Should've brought it-""Wa's goin' on?" Rose's sleep-thick voice called from the hall. The Doctor turned and gave Jackie an angry look, his jaw set, upset she'd woken Rose up."Was just going to get my book..." He nodded toward the door. "Your mum was-""Just up watching tele. Couldn't sleep, thinking about the tests tomorrow..." She smiled, cutting him off. "You know how I can't sleep most nights anyways.""No, 'cause you two were squabbling down here. I heard you." Rose mumbled as she rubbed her eyes and flipped on the light, before flopping against the Doctor's side under the arm he held up for her."Erm..." The Doctor looked at Jackie over Rose's mess of bedhead, giving her a pointed glare. "Your mum found us out, Rose.""What?" Rose stood upright, suddenly very awake. Her hands both came down to her stomach instinctively."Oh Rose..." Jackie gushed, "I could tell when you walked in my door. I just wanted to let you tell me. But how could I not know? You're positively glowing."Rose looked at her mother, her large brown eyes filling up with tears. She took a shaky breath and swallowed, and she felt the Doctor take her hand and lace her fingers through his. She looked at him for a second, then back to Jackie."I didn't want to add any stress, ya know, with your heart." Rose defended. "We'd talked a lot about how we were going to tell you, but it just...""I understand." Jackie smiled softly. She stepped forward, arms outstretched, and Rose met her, crying softly as she allowed herself to give into her mother's embrace. Jackie pulled her back and took Rose's face in her hands, her own tears swelling in her eyes, but she smiled at her daughter again. "But something like this," She moved one hand from Rose's face to her small belly, "This isn't going to hurt my heart, sweet girl. Not if you're happy. If you're happy, then I'm the happiest grandmum in the world!""I really am, Mum." Rose smiled, shrugging to wipe her face on her sleeve. "Six months now... It's a little complicated, but so far, they're a healthy little baby.""Complicated?!" Jackie demanded, looking past Rose to the Doctor, concerned."Ah, that's-""Its a sixteen month pregnancy, Mum." Rose cut the Doctor off. "Still ten to go."Jackie opened her mouth as if to say something, but she looked stumped. She looked down, then back to Rose, then once more to the Doctor."Sixteen months?" She repeated. "Sixteen months?!""Two hearts, lot of growing to do." The Doctor explained, stepping a bit closer to Rose's side.Jackie looked over at the Time Lord in her sitting room and really took him in for the first time since she'd seen him in this body. He'd changed so much from the man that had first stolen Rose away, and she didn't even count on the outside. That was beyond the point. He appeared now to be every bit the anxious father to be that she'd expect, and suddenly she felt a bit bad for doubting where he was going in the middle of the night. She smiled softly, and let go of Rose, crossing the short distance to the Doctor.When she stopped before him, the Doctor closed his eyes and flinched away, expecting another slap, so it scared him more when he felt her wrap her arms around his thin frame. He looked to Rose, who gave him a tongue-biting grin, so he pulled one arm loose and returned the hug, however awkwardly."So you're okay, mum?" Rose ask as Jackie let the Doctor go."Well, Of course I have a thousand questions. But yes! Of course I am- Heaven's sake I-" Her voice broke, even as she smiled, "I'm a grandmum!""Just- Thing is Mum..." Rose sighed. She looked up to the Doctor, who shrugged and gave her another look, "We- Or rather, I specifically... I don't want this around the Estate yet. For one thing, the math won't add up for anyone. I mean, yes my baby is half alien, but that isn't hardly anyone else's business, is it?""I suppose that's fair." Jackie's face fell slightly. "Going to be hard to keep it in, but I swear I will. Haven't told anyone you've run off with an alien, so I can keep this in, too.""Thanks Mum." Rose hugged her again. She turned and looked at the Doctor, giving him a sleepy smile. "You're not going back to sleep, are you?""Not for a day or two, no." He laughed, scratching at the back of his head, causing his hair to stick up worse than normal. "Sorry, love.""Not your fault. Go on, get your books." She nudged him toward the door. "Oh! And bring me those slippers from that market on the Swutin Moon. They feel so good on my feet.""Right-o." He smiled, taking his leave out the door. Rose moved to the window and watched as he walked down the stairs of their building before she turned to her mother and took a deep breath."I haven't seen those slippers in like... Three weeks. That should give us at the very least half an hour. Come on- Let's sit and you can ask whatever you want before he gets back."Jackie handed a mug of tea to Rose as she sat down with her own. She looked at her child, considering for a moment where she wanted to start. Rose could see it on her mother's face, and she nearly laughed in amusement. "Go on, Mum. Just ask. Whatever it is, may as well get it in the open.""Six months... The other one- He's the father, innit he?" Jackie said, biting at her thumbnail."He's the same person, Mum." Rose reminded her. "But uh- yeah. It was that body he had at the time."Jackie gave a look of mock-shock, grasping at her chest over-dramatically. "Poor baby- those ears.""MUM!" Rose scolded."Its not-" Jackie continued to bit at her nails. "Oh, Rose. I don't want to upset you...""Just ask." Rose rolled her eyes."Its a normal looking baby, yeah? Not like... like green or nothing?" She ask, lowering her voice.Rose laughed out loud."No mum, it'll be just like a normal, human baby. Minus the binary-cardio system." Rose snickered."And he's really taking care of you?" Jackie looked more concerned now."He is, yeah." Rose answered quickly. She nodded, her eyes not quite meeting Jackie's now. Jackie squinted back at her, trying to read her face. Rose had tensed a bit at the question."Wa's goin' on, then?" Jackie ask, sitting forward. "What is it you're not telling? Is he doing something to you that ya don' like?""No, not exactly, Mum." Rose rolled her eyes again. "It's fine, I promise.""Isn't tho!" Jackie waved her off. "I can tell. I can always tell. How'd you not know that, considerin' what we've just had happen just now? Come on, it's me. You've always been able to tell me anythin', you know you can."Rose bit at her lip and looked at the floor for a long moment. She took a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh."He won't-" Rose paused and swallowed. "He-""Go on." Jackie encouraged her, reaching out to hold Rose's hand."He won't sleep with me now, Mum." Rose blurted at once. "Hasn't since he changed. I don't know why, but it's making me insane. We get kind of in the moment and I think we might, then he backs off. Its like I have all these hormones and I haven't got anywhere to just-" She growled and threw herself back into the cushion of her chair, covering her face with both hands."You haven't even taken this one for a spin?" Jackie snorted. "Blimey.""Muuuuum..." Rose whined. "You said I could talk to you... That isn't funny. I'm going absolutely mad.""Sounds like you need to talk to him, not me." Jackie shrugged."I want to. But it's different now. He's different about some things, and I don't even know where I'd start. I swear sometimes it's like he's scared of me." Rose took a large, shuddering breath. "He's nine-hundred and two, mum. Thing is- he's had kids before. Lost them all, ya know, in the War. He's..." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Its just hard.""Well, I tell you what I'd do if it was me." Jackie sat forward again. "Nothing to do for two whole hours tomorrow while I'm at hospital. Talk it out. He probably is terrified to do this again, given that he's been through that."Both women quieted and turned as the front door opened and the Doctor reappeared, stack of novels tucked under his arm and Rose's slippers in his hand along with some sort of long ."Hope I didn't take too long. You should both be getting some rest." He called, placing his books on the kitchen counter."You're fine." Rose smiled. "What have you got there?" She ask as he knelt down and out her slippers at her feet. Jackie nearly melted at the gesture."Oh!" The Doctor grinned. "Reading lamp. Clips right to the book, so you can sleep and I can read. Come on- off to bed. Allons-y. Big day tomorrow!" He said, herding them both toward the bedrooms. "Come on, come on.""Right, fine." Jackie groaned, kissing Rose's cheek at her bedroom door. "Goodnight darling. Doctor." She called."Goodnight mum!" Rose called back, and the Doctor gave her a wave.Back inside her bedroom, Rose sat on the bed, waiting for the Doctor to get into his spot first so she could lay down. He could see the worry on her face, so he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand."Penny for 'em?" He ask quietly. Rose simply shook her head."Just worried about mum, that's all." she tried to assure him as she lay back into her pillows. The Doctor sat up and watched her for a moment, but when she simply curled into her normal sleep position and closed her eyes, he decided it was best not to press the matter, so he simply settled against the wall and opened his book, preparing for a long rest of the night.
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Rose, and for his credit, the Doctor both stayed with Jackie right up until the moment she had to be taken back to the 'cath lab' where they would examine and then repair the damage they found there. Two hour minimum for Jackie to be back, and as her mother had suggested, Rose planned on talking to the Doctor about their intimacy barrier. The waiting room, however, was crowded, so when the Doctor wandered off in search of the mess hall for a snack, Rose made her way out to the little prayer garden the Hospital had outside the hospital chapel for patients and families.There were several flowering plants, which were just starting to turn green again, coming out of the winter season, and the air was pleasantly warm for an early spring day, so Rose found a bench in the sunshine and simply sat, her eyes closed and wind gently blowing her hair. The smell of new growth carried on the breeze and Rose breathed deeply, realizing just how much she'd missed the feel of her home planet. She felt the Doctor's presence beside her on the bench, the sound of various plastic snack food bags crinkling in his arms making her smile."Took me forever to find you." He whined, prompting her to open her left eye and look over at him, where she saw that he had a double armload of crisps, biscuits, candies and roasted nuts. She lost her sunshine inspired zen at the sight of him, and burst out laughing."Couldn't pick?" She laughed."Well, no." He grinned. "I figure whatever we don't eat here, we can take back to Jackie's, or take home for it to join the bowl of random things in the galley. Either one."'Take it home.' He'd said about the TARDIS. Their home. It made Rose grin."You're a mess." She teased, taking a package of salt and vinegar crisps from him and busting the package open by clapping it between her hands."That is a dangerous game!" He teased back. "The other end could've just as easily popped and dumped those all over the walkway.""You'd go get me more, don't lie." She replied with a wrinkle of her nose, before popping one in her mouth."So what were you doing out here?" He ask, sitting the rest of his snack stockpile on the empty space on the bench next to him. "You looked almost meditative. Just about left you alone, looked too peaceful to disturb."Rose's eyes returned to the garden before them, and for a moment, she closed her eyes again, as the breeze drifted back through. She took a deep breath, but snorted when she heard a package open next to her, and she looked over to see him digging dried banana chips out of the bag."Banana chips?" She laughed. "Really?""What?" He ask around a mouthful of banana chip. He knew why she'd been amused, but seeing her smile made him smile in return. "Bananas are-""Good, I know." She leaned into his shoulder, and they both laughed."Really, love. What brought you out here?" He ask, digging back down into the narrow opening of his snack bag."Well, for one thing... 'S quiet out here." She said, nodding to the garden that was empty except for them and an elderly couple who were walking the foot path across the garden. "Just... 'S loud inside. Made me anxious.""Fair enough I suppose." He agreed."I also forgot what it felt like to just... Sit in the sun I was born under." She sighed, then felt the slight tense in her partner's arm and immediately regretted her statement. "Oh. Oh God, Doctor, I'm so-" Tears welled up in her eyes."Don't be sorry." The Doctor turned and gave a slightly banana scented kiss to her forehead. "After all, the sun I was born under is still there. The planet..." He gave a mock grimace, then went immediately back into a smile. "I'm adjusted. Besides," He leaned into her in a mirror of the way she'd just done to him, "I'm not all alone anymore, am I?""I just-" Rose felt her emotions all still sitting right behind her eyes, "I can't believe I said that.""Why?" He ask, brow furrowed. "This is your planet. It's okay to miss your planet. In fact- while you're pregnant, and while our baby is little- we could just... travel the earth?""Huh?" Rose gasped. "What? Why?""This planet is gorgeous. Like... Properly. I've come here so many times over the years for a reason. I very fond of this little blue marble. I, if you remember my love, am the President of this little blue marble. I think we should travel it. The three of us." He gave her a grin and wiggled his eyebrows. "Come on... You know you've never even thought about it. There are wonders on this very planet that would put some of the things we've seen to such a shame...""I guess we could..." Rose slowed down chewing the bite in her mouth, watching him carefully. "You're being weird.""No." He straightened up in his seat and craned his neck. "I just think a lighter bit of exploring is a good idea. We're a third of the way into the pregnancy, Rose. You're going to get more tired as we go. There are so many things we could do and see right here... And just think- for many of them, you'd be showing me a foreign planet.""You're buttering me up. Why are you doing this?" She said, crisps now crumpled in the cup holder attached to the arm of her bench."Rose...""No you tell me. You said after the whole 'hey I knew you were pregnant for months before you' thing that you's stop keeping secrets." Rose frowned."I scanned Jackie, and I know, I see on your face, I should've waited and seen what they're doing here... But Rose, My equipment sees more than medicine of this decade of earth can, and humanity won't catch up for at least another forty years. If it was bad, I thought we could maybe... Why are you crying?" The Doctor paused, mid-ramble, because Rose had began to cry, her face not quite readable."You were going to take my mum into the future if they can't fix her here?" She squeaked."Of course I was." The Doctor replied softly. He reached over and took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. "I kinda thought we were doing the whole... start a family... thing? Oh heavens Rose, please don't cry harder." He pleaded."I can't help it." She croaked, smiling as she cried. "I just-" She hiccuped a couple times, trying to catch her breath, "I'm so happy.""Happy. Okay, this is happy." He nodded, still looking confused."I'm pregnant, you knob!" She swatted at him, blinking upward to try and stop crying. "Its your fault I'm all weepy like this!""You tell him, honey!" The older woman laughed, as she and her husband made their way slowly by, having finally made it nearly all the way around the foot path. The older woman stopped, and tugged a bit on her husband's arm, pausing before the Doctor and Rose. "How far along are you?""Four months." The Doctor answered before Rose could, quickly calculating fetus size as compared to a human pregnancy."Oh mercy, so long to go!" She smiled, a bright grin that was elevated by the way it lit up her eyes. "First one?""Yes, ma'am." Rose smiled."First one is the learning curve. Hang in there, son. By the third, you won't even bat an eye." The older man gave them a wink and a nod. The Doctor simply smiled, and Rose had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing at the poor gentlemen calling her 900 year old boyfriend 'son'."Congratulations, you two." The older woman waved, and she and her husband continued on their way. Rose and the Doctor watched until they were out of ear-shot, looked at each other, and then burst into a hysterical fit of laughter."Oh, oh..." The Doctor chuckled, trying to catch his breath, "I'm so so old.""Yeah..." Rose wrinkled her nose at him again. "You really kind of are.""Wow. You're not supposed to agree!" He teased. "But uh- really. We were talking about your mum.""We were." She agreed. "You didn't actually tell me what you saw.""I saw... a significant blockage. But I really think they'll be able to fix it here." He admitted. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have even let her in the cab this morning. We'd have taken her straight away to a better hospital."Rose sat forward and placed a lingering kiss on his lips, before pulling back and giving him a signature tongue-biting-grin."You like my muuuuum" She hummed in a sing-song voice."Mmm." He snorted. "I love her daughter. There's a fine line there, I do a high wire act on it.""You dooooo." She sung again, tickling at his ribs, and he cracked a grin."I do... Enough." He admitted, kissing her cheek. "I think she might need quite a bit of care, going forward. Just ya know... For a bit. Then by the time she's back on her feet... Well, frankly, Rose, I don't think you'll be able to see yours.""Oh, I'll miss my toes!" She joked, holding her sandaled feet up and wiggling her toes."So, Rose Tyler... Will you see the world with me?" He held his hand back out to her. She grinned at took his hand."I'd love to." She sighed happily.The Doctor turned away briefly, took a bottle of water from his pile and handed it to Rose, then picked his bag of banana chips back up."So, what was the other thing you said you wanted to talk about?" He ask, tossing a banana chip ridiculously high in the air, and still managing to catch it as it fell back down."Oh." Rose's cheeks turned pink. "Right. The other thing.""If you're planning on breaking up with me, I do have to tell you, it will make our adventures a bit awkward..." He tried to joke. Rose gave him a half smile, tilting her head."Well, thing is..." She bit at her thumbnail, thinking, "I uh.""Are you okay?" He ask, his face serious in a flash, banana chips shoved into his pocket."I'm... I'm uh..." She mumbled the last bit, and the Doctor quirked an eyebrow and moved a bit closer."Sorry, I didn't... Rose my ears are like half the size now, speak up." He once again tried to joke with her, and she did give him brief, breathy laugh for his self-deprecating joke, but she tilted her head the other way and sighed heavily before reaching over and grabbing the lapel of his brown suit jacket."I am so sexually frustrated I might strangle you." She growled low into his ear through gritted teeth, then hid her face in his shoulder. The Doctor could feel the embarrassment she was feeling rolling off of her from where her hand was touching his on the bench."Oh... OH..." The Doctor replied. He stiffened for a moment, then adjusted slightly so he could pull Rose, still hiding her face, into his arms, her nose now firmly planted in the middle of his chest. He tried to gently coax her up, but she kept herself buried. "Rose, look at me please.""Mm-mm." She refused, shaking her head."Rose, please." He sighed, kissing the top of her head."Nope. I can hear you." She replied, muffled by his shirts."Okay." He sighed, stroking her hair. "Well, the thing with regeneration is..." He paused, picked up a strand of her hair, twirled it for a second, then dropped it back down. "I'm the same man inside, yeah?""I know." She nodded against him."Outside... All new equipment." He replied gently. "So, uh...""So what?" She looked up, finally, her face redder than the Doctor had ever seen- including the first time she'd gotten sunburned from a resort planet."I don't... I don't want to disappoint you." He admitted, his voice cracking halfway through. "Before- you know, we sorta... We had a rhythm. We... We got each other. We made love. We made a baby.""I was there..." Rose nodded, trying to get him to continue to speak."Rose. I... There's a learning curve there. What if... What if you don't like..." He gestured to himself, from the chin down.Rose looked at him, smiled, and kissed the tip of his nose."Do you still know how to do that..." She gestured with her hand in front of her mouth, her face growing red again, "Thing. With your tongue?""Oh absolutely." He laughed and gave her a wink."Then I think we can work the rest of it out." She giggled and he pulled her close, nuzzling her with his nose before pulling her in for a quick kiss. She sighed into him as his free hand slid across her little baby bump."I'm sorry." He said gently. "I should've realized...""It's okay." She promised. "I'm sorry. I didn't think about that from your side either. I just... You're you, ya know? I didn't even think about that. I don't think about it. I miss the smell of the leather coat sometimes, but I still have you, so I think I'll live.""You're the mess, now." He grinned. "We should probably go be in the waiting room when they come tell us how ol' Gran is, yeah?""I'm telling her you called her that." Rose stuck her tongue out at him, scooping up half of his snack pile and heading for the door back inside."Please don't!" He called after her, gathering up the rest of his bounty.
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A new diet meant a full restocking of Jackie Tyler's kitchen.Which meant that their little family had three choices. Either all three could go to the shops, and Jackie willingly ride in a wheelchair as they shopped, which she declined. Or they could take Jackie home and let her rest, coming back out to get their supplies, which Rose refused, scared to leave her mother alone after they'd just installed four stents into her coronary arteries. The final option, which took some negotiating on Rose's part, was that they took Jackie home from hospital, then the Doctor stayed with her while Rose did the shopping.Neither Jackie nor the Doctor were best pleased about that.They did, however, have to concede to Rose's demands, as she made the best argument. She knew what Jackie would willingly eat on the list of approved foods, she knew the brands and recipes and preferences- everything needed for the shopping. Jackie was too weak and the Doctor too oblivious. He'd tried to make a half-baked argument about her going out alone and expecting but she'd quickly shut that down, pointing out how many other pregnant women on earth did many, many things alone and that she'd be fine.So it was settled, Jackie was home tucked into her favorite chair with her feet up, and Rose had gone.She'd been alone with the Doctor less than twenty minutes when she called to him, snapping his attention from the book in his hand to her. She eyed the cover as she looked him over, not able to make heads nor tails of the odd circular writing on the cover."You alright?" He smiled gently, and Jackie was almost shocked to see it was genuine, lighting up his dark brown eyes."Just had something I wanted to ask you, 's all." She answered, trying to sit up a bit. The Doctor automatically stood and came over, helping her sit a bit up in her chair. She thanked him and he took a seat beside her in the floor, legs crossed like a child on a kinder mat."What's up?" He ask once she appeared to be settled."Your-" She hesitated, like she was unsure of herself, "Your lot, your people...""Time Lords? Gallifreyans? Aliens?" He grinned as she rolled her eyes."Whichever one is to you like human is to us." She confirmed."Ah. Gallifreyan then. Time Lord is a rank, like Doctor. You have to go to Academy." He explained, and she nodded along."Right then. Gallifreyans. Does your lot... get heart trouble? I know you've got two." She seemed deeply worried about the potential genetic aspects that could've been passed to Rose, and now he could see her worry had traveled on down the line."I wish I could tell you no." He sighed, and Jackie was surprised again when he took her hand. "But I'm not sure human coronary disease travels the same lines... Our little one has my cardiac system, not Rose's. They're safe from that. And Rose eats healthy, runs a lot. Very healthy heart.""Oh. Good." She gave him a weak smile."You need something? Tea?" He offered, and she laughed lightly."No, I'm fine. Thanks though." She relaxed back into her chair. "Just couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout that.""I have a couple things I wanted to ask you, too." The Doctor confessed."Well, I am a captive, so you may as well." She gave another weak laugh.Jackie watched as the Doctor held up a finger and disappeared down the hall into what was now the room Rose shared with the time lord. Back in a blink, he had a folder in one hand, a small box in the other, and he stood before her, hesitating. He made as if to hand the folder to her a couple times, but it was like he couldn't make himself come out with his question."Jackie." He started, "I-I know you've not always been my biggest fan, heaven knows you've good reason for that. But you're still so very kind and mothering to me, too. I don't know how to thank you for that.""Oh-" Jackie breathed. Somehow she knew exactly what was about to happen. She'd expected it would be soon."Really." He said, meeting her eyes. "Thank you.""Yeah. O' Course." She gave him another of the best smiles her exhausted body would allow."I just- I wanted to get your opinion on a couple things. Mainly..."He clicked the box open and one of the most gorgeous, brightest diamonds Jackie had ever seen glimmered back at her from between two dark sapphires, along a white gold band. Something about the radiant white settled in between the blue put Jackie in mind of the TARDIS and it's top light, which she assumed was the point. The ring itself was absolutely breathtaking, Jackie couldn't imagine what the price on something like that would be. She felt her sore heart swell in her chest and tears rise in her eyes."If it's my opinion you want, Doctor, she'll love it. It's gorgeous." She smiled, "And if its my blessing you're after, you've got it."She cracked a little, and the Doctor produced a tissue from his pocket for her, then pressed a kiss to her cheek."Thank you." He beamed."So what was the other thing?" She ask, wondering what could top an engagement ring that he'd shown her it first."How attached to this flat are you?" He ask, and Jackie scrunched her whole face at him."I mean, it's been my home for years, mate." She defended."No, I just... Would you willingly move out of it?" He explained his meaning."I don't-"She was cut off when he finally stretched his hand out and offered over the folder, which she immediately flipped open.Inside was a thick stack of paperwork, a deed and title to a house (in Rose's name, no less), and photographs. It was a large brick home, looked to be one of the post-war build back homes. It had a large garden, fine, intricate workings on the details; It was without a doubt one of the nicest homes Jackie had even seen."I was afraid she'd maybe be a bit cross, I didn't ask her opinion. But I just-" He closed his eyes as Jackie took in his nervous posture, "I need a good life for this baby, Jackie. I failed my other children, my first wife, so badly and I can't ever fix that, even with a time machine. Trust me, I tried... I want to be a better man, father, if Rose allows, husband..."Jackie didn't have anything to say. There was nothing she could, and in her weakened state she could do little more than blubber, so the Doctor knelt beside her chair and took her outstretched hand."And I am asking you to come with us." He admitted. "Six bedrooms, but also an detached finished, fully furnished flat over the garage. Gran's choice."Again, Jackie had no words, she simply sniffled and nodded, then grinned at him through her tears, which he returned.The two sat in silence for a moment, before the Doctor tucked both the ring and home-buyers packet away so Rose couldn't find either one and ruin her surprise. Jackie had calmed herself back down, and had even taken a glass of water the Doctor offered her, as he'd reminded her that even happy tears cost the body moisture. Once she was refreshed a bit, and the Doctor had given her a new dose of her pain meds, she cleared her throat."So 'ave you jus' been made of money this entire time?" She ask, more exhausted by the excitement he'd given her, her words slurring slightly."Not exactly," He laughed, "I have a day job! I am a salaried employee here. On Earth.""Oh Salaried. Fancy, you." She teased."No, really." He explained. "I am President of Earth, Protector under Shadow Proclamation, and also Chief Scientific Officer for Xenolinguistics at UNIT. Huge office I've used... maybe twenty times in heaven knows how many years. It's nice, they keep it current in style and technology. Spoke with them, they seemed thrilled with the idea of me working full time for a while.""President of Earth is a real thing?" Jackie scoffed. "You're daft.""Afraid not." He handed her the ID, a face she did not recognize in the corner, but the information matching otherwise. "They said I have a new one that'll be in office soon. And its not like Prime Minister or the American President. UNIT and other countries equal agencies all agreed I was best fit to protect earth and speak to other alien races on your behalf. So I took it.""Right then." Jackie sighed, sliding back into her pillowy spot. "So when do you plan to ask her?"Rose had forgotten how much she hated the shopping.The shop was crowded and naturally there were a dozen of her mother's old friends who were just thrilled to see her and had a million questions about her life since she'd taken off, most of them noticing right off that she was expecting due to the fit of her blouse on her baby bump, and the questions would simply start over again, so it was taking much longer than she'd meant for it to in order to get everything they'd need.She'd all but finished and was reading labels on coffee creamers, trying to choose the most heart-smart option when she heard yet another voice call out her name.Except this voice she knew too well, and it made dread hit like a weight in her stomach.She turned slowly, giving herself time to force a smile before she was face to face with both the owner of the voice, Trisha Delaney, who was hand in hand with the key source of Rose's dread, Mickey Smith."Oh! Hey!" She tried her best to sound simply thrilled to see them. Mickey looked her up and down with an almost disgusted look, but Trisha looked very genuine, and even released Mickey to grab Rose in a quick hug."Look at you!" She complimented, "You look so well!""Thanks, yeah," Rose nodded, "You, too. You look amazing, actually!""Lost five stone, yeah!" She exclaimed happily."You look fantastic!" Rose found she was giving Trisha a real smile. After all, she was much happier with the Doctor, though Mickey was a childhood friend and she hated how they'd parted ways.Mickey gave a thinly veiled scoff and rolled his eyes, and Trisha gave him a hateful look."Oh it's alright. Let's hear it then, Mickey." Rose held her head high."Just sorta looks like you found some of what Trish lost-"His words were cut off when the other young woman gouged him sharply in the ribs with her elbow."Mickey Smith! You know better!" she scolded. "Besides, I think... I'm sorry Rose, one shouldn't assume but it just-""Almost five months, yeah..." She beamed, remembering the Doctor's explanation for how their baby grew vs a fully human child."So Jack or the Doctor, then?" Mickey ask, arms folded. Trisha looked over, horrified, and Rose simply laughed."What a stupid question." Rose laughed again. "You know my heart has been the Doctor's since 'run'."Mickey grumbled something under his breath, but Trisha had quickly ducked behind Rose and grabbed the item they'd came for and was currently trying to shove him away from Rose. She'd called behind her about how sorry she was and how nice it had been to see her, good luck with being a mum, etc, and had ducked down an aisle away from Rose.Rose couldn't help but be slightly thankful that it wasn't the Doctor she'd first been with that she'd have to tell this tale to. He'd likely hunt 'Rickey the idiot' down and pummel him. Of course, the newer one still had the same temper, so it wasn't totally unlikely it would still happen. Either way, it would be a fun story to retell to her mum.She couldn't help but be a bit impressed with how little the interaction had hurt her feelings. In fact, if anything, it solidified her knowledge that she was where she needed to be, and she hoped that Mickey was treating Trisha well.Rose found herself smiling the rest of her time in the store.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Rose couldn't get a grip on her emotions.She lay with her face tucked into the Doctor's neck, hiding her face.Finally, at long last, he'd made love to her again. They lay sweat slicked, breathless, limbs still slightly tangled.It had been wonderful. She found that even in a new body, he seemed to remember her every curve, even though some of them had changed a bit in her pregnancy. It was exactly what she'd needed. It had been perfect.Except..."Good different?" He'd ask her, breathless, the same way he had right after his regeneration. It may have seemed like an attempt at a joke to him."Just different." She'd replied the same way she had then, hiding her face from him.Rose lay there, willing the tears to stop, knowing full well he could feel them rolling from her face to his neck, but he didn't say anything about it. He simply held her, stroking her back, trying to get a grip on the beat of his hearts as he came back to himself from their post-coital bliss.The Doctor considered asking her not to cry, but given everything they'd been through, he couldn't blame her. He wasn't offended, but he did have something weighing on his mind. He'd had to very carefully put a mental barrier between the two of them as they made love, he did not want to know if she was thinking of him from before while with him now. After all, it was no one's business but hers- and he was still him. It was his name she'd cried out, him she was begging to touch her. So really- it shouldn't bother him either way, should it?
If I could change back... Would you want me to?
He'd ask her that in his head probably a billion times, each time he imagined her answering different ways. He'd found that not a single one of the answers he imagined ever made him feel better. He'd been reading books the TARDIS had in the library on regeneration that he'd never had a reason to open before now. It was something so simple to his people, he'd grown up with it. But Rose wasn't used to it. To her, she'd had someone she loved very much die in front of her and a new man take his place.She'd been doing her best with him, and he knew she loved him. He really did.
You do, don't you? Rose?
The Doctor was pulled from his thoughts, however, when her quiet crying turned to sobs that shook her whole body. He gently pulled away just enough to grab a blanket and wrap around them snuggling the soft quilt up to Rose's shoulders."Hey," he soothed softly, "Shh. It's okay.""It isn't." She shook her head, unwilling to look up."Are you hurting?" He ask, concerned, still trying to get her to look up.She shook her head."Then please talk to me?" He begged."I don't know how to... to say what..." She sobbed thickly."Just say it, love." He stroked her hair. "Whatever it is, I can handle it."Again, Rose shook her head."Rose...""I guess its just... a lot. Emotionally. Hormonally." She sighed, finally peaking up at him."Are you sure?" He pleaded with her.Rose swallowed as she looked into his eyes.The wrong color. Her mind reminded her, and she physically had to shake her head."No, but I'm tryin'." She sighed. "Never been pregnant before, 's all new, just a lot."He looked up to the ceiling of her room, the lights across the ceiling twinkling softly.They'd sneaked off to the TARDIS while Jackie had company, wanting the time alone but also neither of them wanted their second 'first' time to be somewhere they'd need to try and be quiet and quick. He wanted to take his time with her. Show her how much he loved her, how much he wanted to please her."Need a nap?" He ask, seeing the exhaustion written all over her face."Need the toilet first." She gave him a weak smile. "Then yes, please."She slid away from him, grabbing her robe from the bedpost and shrugging it on. She padded away on her bare feet, and once the bathroom door shut behind her, the Doctor grabbed a pillow from her side of the bed and pressed it over his face. He feel hurt that he couldn't place.Maybe Rose had been right.Maybe he was jealous of himself.Maybe he was jealous of her humanity.That was something else that weighed on his mind.He wanted nothing more than to propose. Marry Rose Marion Tyler. Build a life. Have this baby, maybe a few more. Live life on Earth. Grow old. Die holding her hand.Only a couple of those things were really possible.He fully hoped to marry her. Have this baby, and if she liked, a few more. But then, of course, there he'd be with their all but immortal children who would lose their mother after what would be such a short time with her in relation to their lives. At this point, the Doctor felt like he'd cursed his child with the burden of being Time Lord at their core. He'd give anything to be human with her. For them both to be human with her.That was what he'd been reading about.There were stories, of course. He wasn't the first from Gallifrey to have half-human children. He'd now fathered two, one of each possibility. One who was more human, one more Time Lord.His son had lost his one human life to war, his early twenties. His partner, unofficial wife, had mourned herself to death. So the Doctor did what he did best.He ran.The stories he'd heard, those who'd given up their extra lives- if he could just figure out how they'd done it. Maybe he could give himself and Rose both everything they wanted. There might be a way, somewhere, somehow."Can hear your gears turning all the way in the bathroom." Rose said with a small smile as she came back into the bedroom."You know me..." He teased with a wink."Penny for 'em?" She ask, shrugging the robe back off and crawling back under the quilt with him. Her skin was so warm against his, it made him shiver as his body tried to equalize the temperature."Do you have any idea what I'd do just to make you smile?" He ask as she sank into his embrace further."Mmm. No, maybe you can show me again after my nap." She teased, missing his serious tone.The Doctor didn't reply, he simply kissed her forehead and held her as she settled in and quickly fell asleep.As he lay there, he began to think to his ship.If there is something you know... Some way to back-generate, or to give up the changing... Please. Let me have this. Let her have this. He pleaded.The TARDIS did not immediately reply, but as he lay holding Rose close, a book appeared on the console of the control room.It would be waiting for them when they headed back to check on Jackie.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The Doctor limped from the TARDIS into the living room of the home he'd recently bought for Rose.The home he wasn't sure how to tell her about.He'd answered a distress call, without her knowledge, for the third time since they'd come to stay with Jackie. It was a lot easier to keep her from finding out when the TARDIS actually cooperated and let him land seconds after he'd left her timeline. This time, however, he needed a bit of a moment to himself, let his faculties kick in, his body heal. The ankle he'd injured had probably been broken to start, but was already on the mend as his physiology worked to repair the damage.So he limped into the new living room, Rose's living room, he told himself, and flopped gracelessly onto the couch, kicking his injured limb up onto the coffee table.This was not good.He closed his eyes and tried to imagine a way to keep being the Time Lord the universe needed and be the man Rose and their child needed.Their daughter, they'd recently found out at a check up; a trusted physician at UNIT had taken over her care and allowed them some normality. He was great with Rose, and older gentlemen with a 'Santa sort of vibe', as Rose had said. He leaned on the Doctor for knowledge of the baby's health, but he kept a close eye on Rose's. Together, they made a decent team.The TARDIS would continue to receive distress signals, calls for help, signals of lifeforms all over creation pleading for their lives. It wouldn't matter if he simply parked her and walked away- there would remain that need. There were no other Time Lords to help. No one else, not anymore. It was all his, an Atlas with the whole of creation square on his shoulders, a much heavier burden than the earth- which happened to be his main charge.Heavy in his coat pocket, the book the TARDIS had answered his pleas with was waiting for him to return.The first read through had made even his impressive mind spin.The second he knew he'd need to make notes.The third saw the book littered with post its of three different color, each corresponding to the subject matter.Yellow was him. Regeneration, the vortex energy that he held inside, and ways it could, in theory at least, control it.Pink, naturally, was Rose. How the psychic energy affected her, the bond they share.Orange was their little girl. She was hardly the only half-human Gallifreyan child. There was data out there, writings, and this book was no exception.He feared for her.Oh, Gods, how he feared for her.It was a curse, being like him. Loss was all he knew anymore, the only relief was Rose- and he knew it would be a brief miracle of peace before the loss set in again.He wondered if their child would hate him for it. If he couldn't find a way to give them a life where they all stayed together, one way or another, he thought perhaps she would. He wouldn't blame her, of course. Oh no. He'd already started to hate himself for it- that would be something they could share. Lament at him for this curse.The Doctor was pulled from his thoughts when the mobile in his pocket sounded, and he looked at the screen. A text from Rose.'You alright?' it read.'I am. Be back in just a bit. Don't worry, I haven't left the planet, or the year.' He replied.She answered him with a small cartoonish face rolling it's eyes. He sighed and slid the phone back into his pocket, pulling the book back out and flipped to the last page he'd been studying.Rose had touched the Time Vortex.More the touched it. She'd molded it to her whim. She'd housed the heart of his TARDIS for longer than any mortal should've been able to; it was obvious that she loved Rose, and protected her when they'd bonded like that.As such she was left with better than average psychic ability, louder telepathy- though he knew she had no idea, nor any control of it.But he knew. And he had an idea.The Doctor looked around the living room, wondering what color she'd choose to paint over the plain white of the walls. He dragged a hand over his face, feeling that there was dried blood just above his brow, but the laceration had already closed and healed over. He winced anyway, though not from pain.He'd need to make a decision soon.Would he be selfish, and stay, wait out Rose's comparatively short life milking every drop of happiness he could out of each moment with her?Would he find a way to split himself, as the book suggested might be possibly, and give her the world, but leave her behind with some form of copy or clone?Perhaps he could send the clone out and keep her for himself. If that was even what she wanted.When he thought about how he'd treated her post-regeneration.Oh, how cold he'd been. Sometimes, even cruel- like how he'd told her about their baby. She'd been so hurt, and it was the memory she'd have of the moment forever. There was no way to take it back.And Rose was making an effort. Trying very hard to learn to love him the way she had before.The Doctor wondered if it was another cruelty to even ask her to try.He read and then re-read the passage again.
Psychic Dream Manipulation and the Communication Benefits of Emotional Explanation
It was a start.Rose wouldn't ever hurt him- so if he asked her something that she thought the truth would hurt him to hear, she'd lie.But in a dream- perhaps he could get her to speak freely.Then he'd know what to do, maybe.He hoped.It was the best the Doctor could do for now. Hope.He was beginning to like the word for a baby name, even.'Hope Tyler' did have a nice ring to it.It had been a rather good evening, all things considered.There had been a very pleasant meal, a quiet time where Rose lay in his lap as they, together with Jackie, watched a double feature comedy movie special on telly, then Jackie had turned in for an early night.It wasn't long until Rose had moved from laying across his lap to straddling him, his hands tangled in her hair, hers gripping at the henley he'd stripped down to after dinner. She pulled back to catch her breath and it was almost as if she could see though him when her eyes searched his."Where'd you go?" She ask quietly. There was a small air of hurt in her voice, and it seemed she'd spoken quietly just to hide it."Popped over to the other side of town for a mo." He replied with a grin, which faltered when he could see that she didn't quite believe him.Rose slid back and landed back on the opposite cushion, scooting back, away just a bit."Why are you lying to me?" She pressed, the hurt no longer hiding. It was evident in her watering eyes and trembling lip."Rose, I'm not-""You are though," She snapped, cutting him off. "Still, even now. Lying. Shutting me out. Treating me like I'm not your equal, like I can't handle anything. Why?" She insisted, a tear sliding down her cheek. He started to reach forward and wipe it away, but she drew back and shrugged her shoulder up, catching the tear on her sweater."You don't understand." He replied firmly."Because you won't tell me. I can't understand information I'm not given." She pushed herself further away, wincing as she maneuvered her belly and hips back into the corner of the couch where the arm met the back. "Fuck, you can't even stop doing it now, can you?" She spat."What?" He shot back, his own temper flaring now."You know what- just get in your fucking ship and go." She scoffed, tears streaming down her cheeks and she stood and hurried down the hall.
Not bloody likely.
"Rose!" He yelled.Poor Jackie, she could hear it all but dared not even make a move to come out her room."I said go." She yelled back. "You're free. Don't worry about anything anymore. Stop forcing yourself.""Rose open the bloody door." He growled against the wood through gritted teeth."Sod off." She screeched back. "I'm sick of this. Sick of wondering and worrying and trying to figure out what I did wrong.""Because you didn't do anything wrong!" He yelled back.The door whipped open and Rose stood before him, makeup streaking down her face and fire in her eyes."I know. You did. I don't know where the man who was willing to let himself AND the TARDIS die for me went. The one I fought to save. The one who loved me. But wherever he went and left, he left me with... You." Her words dripped with venom and pain, "And I think if that man had known you'd keep doing this to me, he wouldn't have trusted me to you."The Doctor didn't know what to say to that. He swallowed and nodded. The door shut in his face and he walked back to the living room and sat down heavily in much the same way he had at the other home. He was going to give her time.Four hours, twelve minutes and thirty-seven seconds later...The door to Rose's room slowly creaked open. She poked her head out and looked up and down the hall before darting diagonally toward the toilet.The Doctor, moving quickly and quietly, ducking into the bedroom silently while Rose relieved her bladder. He propped against her closet door, arms crossed, waiting for her to return. She crept inside, closing the door as silently as she backed herself into the bedroom."Who are we sneaking around for?" He whispered loudly, causing her to jump. The shadows cast around the room by her small beside lamp had hidden him enough that she'd not noticed he was in the room. She spun on her heels, eyes flashing with rage again."I told-" She hesitated, a pointing finger in the air. Her voice was loud, and she'd not wanted to wake her ailing mother. "I told you to get gone." She hissed."I really don't think that you thought for a second I actually left." He scolded back.Rose looked at him like she could run through him. Her nostrils flared, fingers flexing at her sides as she made and released fists over and over. "You couldn't hide out all night, knew she'd move over to your bladder eventually.""Are you going to answer me?" Rose asked again. "With the truth this time?"The Doctor paused. He'd lied to her a few times now. He tried to think his way out of the corner he'd backed himself into. He decided to address 'where'd you go?' first, hope that was what she meant."I answered a distress call from a small human colony on a moon in the Farlinx-Twelve system." He started. "It was the third one I've taken since we've been here. I always make it back in time to have only been gone a few minutes. Or I had been. This time, I broke my leg, and it needed a couple hours to sit, so I popped across town and rested it, until it healed.""You've been going out..." She fumed, lips twitching, "And you didn't even bother to tell me?! What if you'd regenerated? What if you died? Where would that leave me?""According to you? Right were you want to be." He growled back."You really don't give a rat's fat arse about me anymore, do you?" She was crying now. Hot, angry tears flowing down her reddened face."Rose Tyler- Do you actually believe that?" His voice was soft now, broken, even. "I was going to let the TARDIS die for you. I gave up a life, a body... Died, for lack of a better word... For you. I tried to make myself what I thought you'd want!""You're going to wake my-""She'll be alright." He barked, not lowering his voice. "You're not getting out of this that easy.""Easy? You think telling me you chose this..." She gestured to him before slapping herself in the forehead, "You think this what I wanted? A vain, self-centered, flirtatious...""Pretty boy, yeah. It always seemed to be." He jeered. "Mickey, Adam, Jack...""I was with you, you fucking plum!" She spat. "I ran to you and only looked back when you pushed, and even then I still only wanted you. Was faithful to you, even when I didn't have to be because heaven knows you'd not made any move. I only asked you to bring Adam because I wanted you to admit that the Dalek was right, that you loved me. You used to be so... Possessive? In a good way? Protective. That's the right word. Protective.""And what? Now I'm not-""No!" She interrupted. "You're not! Now you're this... sneak around... kiss other women... abandon me multiple times sort! The sort who lies to me!"
Fuck.
Rose was right. Of course she was. He'd liked this new body a bit too much, let it go to his head. Spoke fast, charmed women easily, too cocky. He could own all that. But he could also see he may have ruined everything with her by losing sight of himself.This was not the first time a new body had caused him to be someone he wasn't.Or maybe to let a part of himself out he didn't want the universe to know he had locked away."I can fix it. But I need to know that is what you want. I need to know it without any doubt." He said firmly."What do you mean?" She demanded. "Stop lying? You swore to be honest with me after the pregnancy-secret thing. You've not kept to that yet!""No, Rose. I need to know what you want." He replied, voice low, serious."I want..." She shuttered and sighed. "I want you to say you're sorry, then I want you to climb into that bed and hold me. After that, after I'm asleep, you have a good, long think. If you're going to do this shite anymore, leave. Don't come back. If you mean your apology, then live it.""I'm sorry." Was all he said. She nodded and stood beside the bed, waiting as he loosened the laces of his shoes and toed them off, crawling into his spot, arms open, waiting for her to lay down. She lay facing away from him, closing her eyes, and willing herself to sleep. Her mind and body were both exhausted by heavy emotion, and it didn't take long for her to drift into a deep sleep.Notes from his book firmly in mind, the Doctor slipped one hand to Rose's temple, the other gently resting over her heart.Slowly, gently, he prodded into her sleeping subconsciousness.At first, he was merely an observer of her mind. He needed to wait for the cycle of sleep to come back into REM to manufacture a new dream before her mind could make its own. It didn't take long, and he knew exactly how to go about it.He presented her with the TARDIS, as she was the first time she set foot aboard his ship.In control of the dream, he could both observe and be part of it. So at first, he watched as she came up the ramp from the front doors. She looked the same as she had the day she'd taken the Dalek fleet out. Same hair, clothes, everything.He watched as Rose looked around the room, confused. She moved slowly up to the console and ran her hand along the edge, fingers lightly grazing the buttons. She was comparing desktop changes, he realized. Placing herself in the correct TARDIS mentally.Time to clear up confusion about who's TARDIS she's on.The Doctor took his old form up for her, and walked in from the ship's hull. He watched her for a moment from the eyes of his dream-former-self, before clearing his throat."You look lost." He called, propping against the door frame.As she turned, her expression changed from confusion to relief- then to elation. She sprinted across the grated floor, boots clanging loudly with her footfalls, and she leapt into his open arms."I know it's a dream, but holy crap am I happy to see you." She spoke against his neck, taking time to inhale the familiar scent of leather, engine grease and sandalwood aftershave he'd always sported. He held her close for a moment before putting her gently back down and putting a kiss to the crown of her head."How'd you figure it's a dream?" He ask, giving her an amused smirk."Because the baby... 's gone. Or it's before her." She said, gesturing to her body.The Doctor manually altered her appearance while her eyes were off herself. He wanted to stay ahead of her through this."She's right where I left her." He joked, a large hand spreading on stomach that now reflected her body as she was currently."You should be here." She whimpered through trembling lips, her emotions threatening to burst out her seams."I am there." He reminded her softly."No. You're really not." She corrected, falling against his chest, desperate to feel his arms around her."What do you mean?" He ask, stroking her hair. "I can't imagine I'd leave you. Not ever.""The book the TARDIS put in my room, I finished reading the day before he... you... told me I was pregnant... It explained that regeneration could change your personality drastically. It would be the same soul, memories, but likes and dislikes, things change. I stayed up nearly all night coming to terms with you simply not wanting me anymore due to the regeneration. I accepted it, was ready to find my way back into the friendship we'd once had. There was very little evidence you still wanted to be with me. You treated me so..." She sobbed a bit, unable to continue. "So no, Doctor, you're not here anymore. I think, maybe, you're still fond of me. Seems like you're trying to force yourself to wanting a relationship because of the baby. It's painful and cruel. Not fair to any of us.""Rose, please know... I'd never want to hurt you. I cannot imagine any scenario where that would change." He tried to assure her. He gently put a hand on her lower back and guided her over to a bench he'd just conjured into the dream."This is new." She smiled, wiping tears from her face."Thought you'd want to rest your feet, ya know?" He put his hand back on her abdomen, and she laid hers over his, lacing their fingers loosely together."God, I needed this." She sighed, looking around the console room for a moment, then back to him."What's that?" He ask.
Alright Rose. If you won't talk to me, talk to him. Come on.
"Just to sit here. With you." She replied, her smile finally reaching her eyes."What is it you want?" He questioned gently."You ask me that earlier this evening." She looked at him suspiciously, an eyebrow arched as she looked him over."Well." He sighed, "Maybe that's what this is? You're probably sorting it in your subconscious mind. Did you answer me then?"Rose shook her head."Then maybe now is the time for you to think it over." He suggested, his thumb lightly stroking her baby bump."But what if I don't know?" She mumbled, blowing a huff of air out."Its your dream, love." He reminded her. "Bend it. Play with your thoughts. See what feels right."Rose nodded and closed her eyes, so the Doctor controlling the dreamscape darkened the room, then put her in partial control of her dream. He wanted her to show him her thoughts, but he wanted to keep his dream-self there with her.Rose opened her eyes to a crowded park. Her eyes fell on a little girl with wild blonde waves running across the playground. Rose found herself on the same bench, her body no longer appearing pregnant. She sat side by side with the Doctor, her hand in his."That's pretty much how I imagine her, too." He grinned, leaning into her shoulder they way she so often did his. "When you think about this, about your life in a scene like this- where are we?" He asked, looking around the park."Right here." She replied firmly, her eyes moving from their daughter to meet his. Oh, she thought, How she'd missed these eyes. How beautiful, and more importantly, how they looked at her."You didn't change anything." He remarked."Nope." She replied, still firm in her conviction. "This is how I imagine life.""Tell me more about that." He pressed."I used to think about this all the time; Back before I knew I was pregnant- back before we'd ever even kissed. I thought about my life, and this is what I wanted. Used to be a few more kids in the fantasy, but she's the one I've got, so she's my focus now.""Really?" He tried to laugh, but it came out more as a scoff. "This daft old face?""I really wish you'd stop with that. You're bleedin' GORGEOUS. You had women falling at your feet everywhere we went. First date- First outing ever, Doctor. You had that Jabe of Cheem all over you." She reminded him."Jabe I remember being a bit of a flirt. Otherwise, I never noticed." He replied, a blush creeping up to the tips of his ears. "Not when you were there.""I know. This you, now, he lies to me. Left me alone for hours on a ship with no way home, hoping I didn't get found and tossed out the airlock. You went off with, and snogged, a French Aristocrat.""That really doesn't sound like me." The Doctor admitted. He cringed a bit, trying to keep character up with his former self. He was running off memory, and had to try and keep mannerisms as close as he could for her."That's what I keep saying." Rose sighed."So what about her?" He nodded back to the playing child. "Human? Time Lord?""Healthy." She replied without a second thought."It's a curse." He said, "I don't want it for her. I don't even want it for me, anymore. I think that's what I really wanted, all along.""What's that?" Rose ask."Remember the wedding? With the reapers and-""My dad." She finished, nodding."A life like that." He repeated what he'd said to the bride."What, to be a 'stupid ape'?" She teased."God, yes." He breathed.They sat in long silence for a moment. Rose watching the children her mind had created play with her vision of what her daughter might look like."You don't do domestic." She quoted back to him what he'd said so often."I also didn't do 'joy', then human sunshine ran onto my ship." He smiled at her. "I was just hurting, Rose. Running and putting up walls, that's all.""So... You're telling me I spent months feeling stupid for having my private little fantasy world where we just... settle down on Earth." She laughed humorlessly."I'm sorry for anything I ever did to make you feel stupid. But especially not that." He squeezed her hand and she laid her head over on his shoulder."Doctor..." Rose sighed, eyes still on the children."Hmm?" He hummed."This isn't helpful." She confessed."How's that?" He pressed, confused."You said that this was maybe how my mind was sorting what I want. Because you asked me before I went to sleep." She explained. "I can't ever have this, so what good does it do me?""Who said you can't have this?" He ask before kissing her head."You did. You ask me if I wanted you to change back. I ask if you could. You said no." She reminded him. "Sort of puts the end to that.""Hmm." He grunted. "Never underestimate what I would do for you, Rose Tyler.""You going to fall out of my head and sweep us away to the life of my dreams?" She jabbed. "Sure.""Might do, you know." He looked over and gave her a wink. "Never can tell what miracles I can pull off to make you smile.""You think you're so impressive." She gave him a tongue touching grin."I am so impressive." He kissed the smile unto a gentle, lingering kiss. "I'd move heaven and earth for you."Rose sat quietly with that statement.This is what she'd meant. He'd given up everything, prepared to die for good, no coming back, sacrificing not only his beloved TARDIS but the rest of his life for hers. She didn't want him to do things like that, she just missed the love and devotion that motivated those actions."Then if that's the business of it. That's what I want." She finally confessed with a heavy sigh. "A life like that."The Doctor gently removed himself from Rose's mind then. He didn't know if her dream would shift now, or if her mind would keep it up, and it no longer mattered.He had his answer. He had his guidebook. And he was going to move heaven and earth for Rose Tyler.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Rose awoke to an empty bed and her heart sank.No, not sank.It shattered.It wasn't until she'd had a through cry that she rolled over and found the folded piece of notebook paper on her bed, with her name on the outside.The inside was an address, and a simple post script note.
Take your time, and don't worry about your mum. She's with me.
It was simply signed with two crooked, scribbled love hearts.Relief flooded over her like a breaking ocean wave, and she cried again.He'd left, but not properly. Not like she'd feared. Not to abandon her and their child.Well, she thought, sitting up on the bed, If I'm to take my time...The memory from the night before flashed back into her mind. How real it had felt, she could swear the scent of leather and motor grease was faint in her room.No. She shook her head. Even for the Doctor, sometimes just aren't possible.She'd know. She'd already ask, in so many words. And after the way she'd felt during her previous evening's sleep, she didn't really feel all that guilty about it.Her thoughts traveled to when she'd met sweet Sarah Jane, who had also trusted the Doctor and been left.Then to the Christmas of the Sycorax invasion. His words as he rambled on and on about who he was.'Am I a liar?' He'd said it himself, and Rose knew the answer to that one. Bloody yes.Shower. Dry hair. Makeup. Pretty dress.The full Jackie Tyler armor effect.Last look in the mirror. Fix hair. Hail a cab.Practice slow breaths in the back seat as the car travels to the address on the note.Her mind a million miles away, her hand rests on her stomach, and for the first time, she feels a kick against her hand. He daughter's reassurance. At least they'd have each other, like she and her own mother always had.Rose was raised by Jackie Tyler, and it made her strong. She could handle anything, she knew it.Jackie looked pale, and not her normal, recovering sort.She was nervous.Somewhere, somehow, she'd learned to love this bizarre, daft, shapeshifting alien. She'd welcome him as her son, given her blessing to him for Rose.He'd been talking nearly nonstop since early in the morning, explaining everything, sometimes more than once when she objected her lack of comprehension of what was happening. Why it was happening. If it was truly safe.Nothing he was saying made sense. If he were the same man, truly, then surely his personality hadn't changed so much that all this was necessary.Though Jackie had seen (or rather, heard) evidence to the contrary.She knew he loved Rose, and she still trusted him with her. After all, what he was explaining to her seemed like a lot, like a big sacrifice of self, just for her girl.Their girls... She reminded her self. Her daughter, and her daughter's own daughter.Now he'd been rambling for close to an hour, explaining about how, somehow of her own doing, Rose wasn't human anymore? As if that would ever make any sense. He was trying to help her understand, and bless him, even making sure Jackie knew the Doctor didn't think her stupid. He'd told her himself he knew every word he'd said sounded insane. He'd even admitted if felt insane to think of.No, Rose wasn't human anymore. He'd explained about seeking her dreams. Looking into her timeline, and seeing it go on and on, as his own did. No longer the short, fleeting life humanity offered.But the Doctor also explained he wanted to love Rose how she deserved, how she wanted to be loved.How it should be. If she'd now become cursed with near immortality, he'd make it her ideal life.
Or die trying. Hope, not...
The Doctor was shaken from his own thoughts as he smiled brightly at Jackie."I know you're still thinking I'm mad." He said, the manic smile never faltering."Uh, yes." Jackie scoffed. "But... If you're sure...""I could show you, if you'd like?" He offered, hands out as if to touch her head. Jackie ducked back, flinching away."Bad enough your box is in me head, I'm not welcomin' you in as well!" she fussed."Right." He nodded, humored. "So here is all I need you to do."He took what looked like a computer chip from his pocket, about the size of an apple, and he clicked it down into a hole in the console."This is going to activate, and then the TARDIS will open. Like before, with Rose, and the truck. You remember?""The light, yeah." She nodded. "Worse than the sun, that was.""Right," He nodded, "Except, this time, it'll be me and her. The TARDIS, she and I know each other. She knows what I want, and she gave me the book to follow. So, if I've caught her in a good mood today, and I believe very firmly, Jackie Tyler, that I have... I think I can do this.""And if you're wrong?" She pressed, nervously."Well..." He craned his neck, looking away for a moment, stalling. "Everything's in Rose's name. House is paid off. You three'd be set for... Well, not life. Your life, sure, even if you lived to 120, but Rose... the baby... They'll be around long after."Jackie felt surprisingly okay with that knowledge. She wasn't sure why, but it made her happy, to think that their little family could be together in a matching lifetime. She figured it was because she lost Pete so very young, she'd never got even a taste at what forever with the man you loved could be."You're sure?" She ask again."When I tell you, press the button, close your eyes, and do not open them until I tell you." He commanded, "I'm dead serious, Jackie."She nodded and laid her hand where he'd gently placed it.It felt so wrong, doing something like this without telling Rose first. Jackie just wanted them to be happy, and he seemed very confident this was the way to do it.So she could only watch as the Doctor shrugged off his overcoat, suit coat, and tie. He then took off his shoes, and put them in the pile, he looked around and craned his neck a couple more times."Are-" Jackie snatched her hand from the console like she'd scolded herself, turning to face the Doctor. "Are you sure I'm not about to assist in your suicide?"Her voice was so scared, it warmed his hearts."Strictly speaking, I have done this before, successfully... Sort of." He admitted. "I forced myself to regenerate when I wasn't who I needed to be, and it worked. I didn't need to regenerate to stay alive, I needed it to be different. Stronger. Harder. The entire time I was housed in that body, I didn't use my chosen name. Wasn't worthy of it. Jackie- it wasn't until I met Rose that I used my title again. She's worth any risk, and I cannot be who she needs right now, but I could before. I know it sounds insane... But just trust me. If I stay this way, I'll just push her too far. I have to do this.""So it is possible?" Jackie confirmed."I'm not even supposed to remember what I just told you- The TARDIS showed me everything, those memories had been locked away. She knows Rose and I better than anyone ever can, including you. This TARDIS saw her soul, Jackie, her actual soul. And Rose saw hers. She protected Rose, saw her possible timelines and gave her what she asked for. Then I stepped in, thinking she was dying, and I mucked it up. So it's me that's the wrong bit. But we can fix it, the old girl and I."Jackie stood for a moment, eyes closed, and he could tell the TARDIS was communicating as best she could with the unwelcoming human woman. But as the Doctor watched, Jackie's face visibly relaxed."It's like... when your mum tells you it'll be okay. I feel... Reassured?" She gasped. "It is alive.""She is, yeah." The Doctor looked around proudly. "Are you ready?" He ask.Jackie nodded and put her hand back where the Doctor had put it."Remember, until I say, do not open your eyes..." He reminded her. "On my count..."The cabbie dropped Rose off and immediately circled away, which Rose found odd as she'd not paid her fare.The house- and it barely qualified as one, not a mansion or castle, was gorgeous. A large brick home, with ivy climbing up one side, flowers of all sorts placed around the front drive and a small side garden. The porch and entry were adorned with chairs and tables, and to the right, just under a shade tree, Rose could see a bench and small fountain. She looked around for a vehicle, or some sign of why she was here, who the place belonged to.Walking closer to the door, Rose could see there was another piece of paper, obviously torn from the same notebook as the first. Again, her name on the outside and a small, simple note within.'Come on in' it read. Rose started to knock, but grasping the note in the other hand she let her raised fist fall to her side and tried the handle.Knocking wouldn't have done much good anyway, Rose noticed. The large, heavy oak door would've muffled the sound. She noticed there was a doorbell, but again, just pushed a bit more and cautiously entered the house.The entryway was grand- A set of stairs and a landing could be seen as she came in, along with what appeared to be an enormous sitting room below. Just beyond she could see a kitchen, but no people. No Doctor, no mum."Hello?" She called, leaning backward against the door to close it as she took it in. Slowly, she made her way forward, looking up, calling out again. "Anyone here? Doctor?" She leaned into an open doorway, finding a small bathroom. She tried another and found it was a den of some sort, though as of yet unfurnished. The only thing in the room was the large bookshelf lining the back wall, but there were no books nor anything else on it.The sitting room that lay at the bottom of the stairs, however, was furnished. There was a fireplace on the far wall, large picture windows showed the view of part of the sprawling back garden. Large, overstuffed and comfortable looking couches flanked a coffee table on three sides, all facing toward a mounted flat screen TV.The coffee table housed a large crystal vase, which held at least three dozen roses in red, white and pink.Rose smiled at them, at the cliche of her name and the flower.She continued to move slowly through the room, calling out again to see if anyone was present, when something caught her eye.Though every other self she'd seen thus far was empty, the shelf above the mantle of the fireplace had something sitting to one side. A tiny, black box. Crushed velvet, hinge topped.
A jewelry box.
Obvious what kind, from the size and shape. Rose felt her heartbeat in her ears, and she picked it up with trembling hands. She clicked it open and her eyes fell upon the most gorgeous ring she'd ever seen in her life. The gleaming white gold band sported a diamond, one that in Rose's opinion, was enormous. It was pear cut, and almost seemed to give off its own light it shone so brightly. To each side lay deep blue sapphire baguettes.She simply stood, staring at it for several minutes, wave after wave of emotion washing over her.Sorrow. Mourning. Joy. Fear. Anxiety. Anticipation.It all seemed to repeat and remix within her."Gonna try it on, or d'I need ask my bit first?" A voice behind Rose called.Her blood froze in her veins.Impossible. She scolded herself. I've finally just lost my mind."Rose?" The familiar, heart stopping northern accent called again.Eyes squeezed shut, Rose very slowly turned around."Come on, precious girl. Look at me, please?"His voice was soft. So gentle with her, like she'd been missing so long now. Felt like it hadn't been months since she'd heard him, oh no.Rose felt like she had been missing him for years. Centuries. Lifetimes.It took a few seconds for Rose to allow the tension to seep from her very bones, where she could relax enough to make her eyes open.The man before her looked exactly the same- and entirely different.He was propped against the door frame of the sitting room, ankles crossed, one arm bracing against the far side. It had been a signature pose, when he'd stand back and watch her take in whatever new wonder they'd been visiting. The first time had been the end of the Earth.Leather coat on broad, strong shoulders, knit navy jumper blending with dark denim trousers, heavy boots that had always been impractical for running, but somehow suited everything else he did.Crystal clear gorgeous blue eyes she'd secretly been praying her daughter would inherit.The face housing them- was him.
Her Doctor.
The one she'd taken the Bad Wolf for. The one who'd sacrificed everything for her, more than once.Except he was younger. The Doctor she'd met, fell in love with- In human terms, he looked somewhere near her mother's age, somewhere in the range of forty. Now, however, he looked maybe mid-to-late twenties, in the same face. Like he'd dialed himself back a bit. His hair was longer, almost shaggy. He had a bit of scruff creeping up his sharp jaw. The whole thing suited him rather well.Rose was acutely aware that the fluttering in her stomach this time was not her daughter's kicking.She hadn't even know she was moving when she made it across the floor to him, her hand instantly drawn to his face. Somewhere along the line, she'd dropped the ring, box and all, but it was the furthest thing from her mind."Rose Tyler." He said softly, his hand catching the one she had to his face, and he placed a kiss to the inside of her wrist. He could feel her trembling as she took everything in."Doctor?" She could barely squeak out a whisper.He grinned.The manic, near insane one he'd give her when the joy was just so, so much that even his two hearts couldn't contain it all.
'Just this once, everyone lives!'
The smile she knew was truest."What'd ya think?" He ask, letting her wrist go. He took a half step away, doing a theatrical spin like a child showing off a new Sunday outfit.She nearly knocked him off his feet as she slammed against him, a rib crushing hug the only answer she could give."You're real." She whimpered into his chest, as if to convince herself. His arms wrapped around her, one hand gently tangling into her hair.The Doctor could feel her whole body shaking against him, and he realized she was crying."I'm real." He assured her. "And God, Rose, I am so, so sorry."She shook her head against him, not daring let her grip loosen even a little."How did you-""I told you, I am so impressive." He replied, laughing. It took a moment, but the Doctor was finally able to gently pry far enough away so he could see her face, and he held her cheek in one palm, stroking the tears the traced down her cheek away with his thumb. His other hand slid from her back to her stomach, gently stroking over where their growing daughter was snuggled in. He made the same loving thumb sweep over her belly."That was a dream." Rose croaked, confused and still crying. She wasn't sure if she was purely happy, or overwhelmed, or descending into unending madness."And yet..." He bent down and kissed the tip of her nose. "Here I am."Rose didn't let him completely stand back up before she'd grabbed the lapels of his coat, pulling him back to kiss her properly.It was wet, emotional, and she continued to cry as she kissed him, but Rose had never had a better kiss in her life. All the pain and mourning and passion she had bottled up came bubbling up, and the only relief she could find was in the comfort of his lips moving over hers, in the way he tasted and smelled. After a moment she had to pull away, gasping in breaths she'd denied herself just to stay liplocked with him. The Doctor rested his forehead against hers."Missed you," She murmured softly. "Like, 's just been bloody awful.""I know." He assured her. "I'm so sorry.""Me too." She swallowed, sniffling as her tears began to slow."We have a lot to talk about, I think." He said softly.Rose simply nodded and sniffled."Do you want to sit down?" He ask, nodding behind her to the couches. Rose looked toward the sitting area, then looked back to him."Whose house is this we're in?" She ask as he guided her over and settled her on the couch. He doubled back and grabbed up the ring box where it had fallen, luckily snapping shut on impact, not allowing the ring to fall out and be lost. He sat before her on the coffee table."Yours." He replied simply, giving a casual shrug. "Or, maybe ours, if you'd like?" He looked her over and held the ring box back out. "Sorry, I know there are some human rituals with how you're supposed to kneel to ask, but seeing as that's for humans and I'm not human... I thought maybe you'd let me get by without it. If you'd rather I kneel, or get on my hands and knees and kiss your feet, or-""Yes." She interrupted, scooting to the edge of her seat."You want me to get down and kiss your feet?" He gave her a grin."No, I want you to stop rambling to cover your nerves." She smiled, wiping her face, "Yes, as is 'yes you daft alien, I will marry you', no need to ramble."As he slid the ring down onto her finger, unsurprisingly a perfect fit, Rose noticed she wasn't the only one shaking. Still, he raised her hand to kiss her knuckles.He sat looking at her, taking in the changes in her body, her fuller face, the glow of impending motherhood, and he felt a tear or two of his own escape."You changed yourself for me." Rose said after a few minutes of their sitting, simply observing each other, of taking in the subtle changes they'd each endured."Seemed fair." He smiled, softly this time, adoration shimmering in his large blue eyes, "You did first.""Hardly the same, that." She scoffed. "Billions of females in billions of species have babies. Not that big of a change, really. A little uncomfy, sure.""Rose..." He started. "Love, you're..."She looked afraid all of a sudden, and his hand squeezed hers for comfort."You're okay. Fine, more than, really. Fantastic! Just... Not human. Not anymore."Her face didn't give him any indication as to how that made her feel, so he continued."When you took on the Wolf- Rose, I messed up taking it away. The TARDIS made a deal with you, and I had no part in it. But she didn't let me undo everything you'd ask her for. You ask her for forever with me, didn't you?"Rose nodded slightly, almost like she was in shock."She gave it to you, Rose. You're more like me, and the baby, now. Long lifeline, goes as far as I can see..." He kissed her hand again. "And thankful for that, I am. But that's a lot to give, to change yourself like you did for me. And thinking I knew better, I hurt myself into a regeneration I had no business in. I got cocky, I was cruel and unloving to you. So, I ask the TARDIS for help. She saw fit to give us this.""So I'll be able to stay with you? Both of you?" She squeaked out, lip trembling as she fought to hold back another bout of tears."Me, her, a dozen more if you'd like." He grinned again. "For time eternal. I think everyone says forever when they talk about marriage, but that is what I'm offering you. My forever, if you want it. I couldn't be human for you, but turns out you'd already changed for me. So I just fixed what I'd messed up- the TARDIS is the one who dialed the age of the face back a bit, but I think it's a bit alright.""More than." Rose laughed, "You're gorgeous. I mean- Always thought you were, but-""I know." He laughed."It wasn't a superficial thing either, before, I just-""Shh. No, Love. No. That was all on me. Hot and cold, me. Even I couldn't believe how I'd been acting. But I've got eternity to fix it." He promised. "And I'll spend every second of forever making it up to you."He pulled her closer and kissed her gently."Listen I know we do have a lot to talk about..." Rose ask, looking around again, "But Doctor...""Hmm?" He hummed, waiting."Where is my mum?"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Jackie Tyler had never felt so fancy in her life.The 'flat' the Doctor had offered her was at least twice the size the one she'd lived in for the last twenty two years. It was furnished in fine leather and hard woods, made her feel like she was in a high end hotel.She found herself to be exhausted from the morning, from the turmoil of worry that she was aiding in the death of her would-be son in law without Rose even knowing what was happening. Her new flat was fully furnished, and he'd told Jackie it was all hers- so she tucked herself in for a nap.Jackie hadn't meant to sleep so long, but it was nearly sunset when Rose's voice called her from her slumber."Mum. Mum wake up." Rose spoke gently, shaking her shoulder lightly."Mmm. Wha' 'sat?" Jackie groaned, sitting up."You've been asleep all afternoon." Rose smiled. "We thought maybe you'd want to pop over and eat.""Oh!" Jackie blinked into the room, eyes adjusting to the light of the lamp Rose must have turned on. "Rose- how are you? Did you- How is everything?"Rose grinned at her mother, and then pulled her close for a tight hug."I'm perfect, Mum." Rose said, "So, so perfect. We talked for a long time, and the Doctor explained everything- why his regeneration had been so... wrong. What happened to me, how I've changed... That he'd told you about it. And of course-"Jackie took her daughter's left hand and turned it over."Of course I said yes." Rose finished as they both looked at the ring she now wore. Jackie cradled her child's face in her hand, a few tears sliding down her cheeks."I'm so happy for you, darlin'." Jackie breathed."Thank you. And thank you for everything you did." Rose slid down and hugged her mother tightly again. "I like your place, by the way." She added, looking around the room."Nice, innit?" Jackie grinned. "My son-in-law got it for me. Doesn't hardly make up for him causin' to me missin' a year of my daughter's life but-"Rose watched her mother intently as she reached over and laid a hand over her growing stomach that housed her granddaughter."This might." She laughed. "I'm so excited. I wish your dad could see you...""Mum." Rose smiled through a rough bout of tears that suddenly pushed through. "Mum, dad met the Doctor. The girl who stayed with him-"Jackie's face paled."No-" She whispered, tears swelling up and over the brim in her eyes. "It was you.""It was. Got to talk with him a bit before it happened. He uh-" Rose swallowed and then gave her mother another watery smile, "He and the Doctor talked, and I didn't even know, and I was there. Not sure when they even had the time. They'd talked and dad flat out ask him if he loved me- mum we went to see him before we ever had any sort of romantic interaction. But dad ask him if he loved me, if we were-" Rose pulled her lips in over her teeth, like she wasn't sure of her words, "Dad gave him his blessing, too. There was a whole- ordeal. The Doctor and I set it right, so you don't remember it. But Dad told the Doctor to take care of me, and that if he wasn't going to see this part, he wanted him to know he had dad's blessing."Jackie had a similar smile on her face as she cried."Our lives are so, so weird." Jackie laughed. "But somehow its the only thing I can imagine for you, now.""Me too." Rose laughed. "Now- we have Chinese take-away over in our brand new kitchen that we're... not using properly yet." Rose laughed. "Come eat with us?"Rose was having a hard time not giggling as she lay propped on the soft feather pillows of her new, large bed in her new, enormous house.The Doctor was snuggled close, one arm propping his head up, the other wrapped around Rose's middle, as he had a conversation Rose could never hope to understand with their daughter. The melodious sound of Gallifreyan flowing from his lips in his deep, northern cadence, whatever it was that he was saying, was obviously entertaining their little girl very much, as she was dancing all sound, kicking and hitting against her father's hand, causing him to laugh."What're you tellin' her?" Rose ask, running her fingers through his new, slightly longer chestnut hair."Bedtime story." He replied, looking up at her with such joy in his bright blue eyes, it took her breath away. "Its about the first of our people to attempt to measure eternity. A council was called to try and figure out how long eternity was. There were many wise scholars who tried, but all failed to fully quantify 'forever', until finally, a grandmother with millennia to her name came forward and explained to the council that in the realm of 'Forever' stands a mountain made of pure diamond. Each day, a single bird flies to the peak of the great diamond mountain and sharpens its beak on the summit. The grandmother explains that eternity will end when the mountain is worn away by the use of the bird.""Wow." Rose said after he finished, "That's one hell of a bird."At Rose's remark, the Doctor fell into a fit of hardy laughter. He rolled onto his back and clutched at his stomach as he laughed fully."Yes, I suppose it must be." He agreed. The Doctor rocked back up and placed a kiss against the spot their daughter had swatted so fervently against. He then scooted his way gracelessly up the bed to be level with Rose."Hello." She sighed happily, smiling over at him."Hello." He grinned back. "Are you okay?"Rose looked at him for a moment, then she reached down and took his hand in hers."I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life." She admitted. "I hate we had such a rough spot, but really, Doctor- this is all just nearly too much. There was never any way I could've imagined a life this good in my realm of possibility.""I'm still so sorry." He said, pulling her knuckles up to kiss them. "I suppose I should've been smart enough to ask the TARDIS what the plan was rather than trying to meddle.""You look tired." Rose replied, which she flourished with her own yawn."Skipped the biggest part of my normal post-regeneration nap, I did. Your mum made me that same tea that helped at Christmas, though. That and a quick kip while I waited for your cabbie to let me know he'd picked you up got me through today. Bout knackered now though." He said, kissing the tip of her nose."Good thing we have this enormous, comfy bed." Rose laughed, snuggling further down into the covers and giving another yawn."It is rather nice. I did a good job, I think." The Doctor bragged, clicking off the bedside lamp before wrapping his arms around Rose and dragging her close to him. He slid one hand down and gently stroked at the bump housing their daughter- which caused her to thump against him again."See what you started?" Rose teased."Hmm. Daddy's girl." He hummed against her hair. "Get some rest, precious girls. I love you, both of you, more than anything.""We love you, too." Rose smiled, snuggling back into his strong embrace.A week later saw the Doctor starting his 'full time' tenure with UNIT.To keep herself occupied, Rose has alternated between picking through interior decoration magazines and going to home goods stores with her mother, and helping her mother with packing up the flat they'd lived in for Rose's entire life.The entire process of both was bitter sweet.Jackie kept going on and on about how nice their new home was, and how it was everything and more that she'd wanted for her daughter and granddaughter.They'd gotten down to the last few boxes of personal affects that needed to be wrapped and boxed when Mickey stopped by to see Jackie- He let himself in without knocking, which previously had been the norm and seemed natural to Rose, but since they had their run in at the grocery, Rose hadn't wanted to see him at all. He'd no sooner stepped into the flat when his eyes met Rose's, then Jackie's- both women being caught off guard."So it is true, then." Mickey spat like the Tyler's had personally slighted him."Urm-" Rose cleared her throat, head tilted. She glanced at her mum, then down at her stomach, then looked back to Mickey. "I already told you I'm expectin'. You think you can come crashin' in like I've not told my mum?""No- You're moving." He was addressing Jackie now. "Also off with that... that... Alien." He finished like the very taste of the word was poisonous to him."Oi!" Jackie scolded, "Don't be doin' that to me, Mickey Smith, 'S my son-in-law. He's bought Rose a gorgeous old mansion of a place for them to raise their family in. I'd shut my trap if I wanted to salvage any of the life-long friendship you've been so eager to throw away.""Me?" Mickey raised his voice, gesturing to himself, "Me?! She kissed me on the cheek and ran off what that... man. Then she's gone a year, you're accusin' me of killin' her the entire time, I almost don't get my life back after that, but I kept my head. Next thing I know, she's tellin' me we're off and never happenin' again. Turn around again and she's up the duff with some sort of, sort of thi-""Michael Smith if you say one word about my daughter, so help me..." Rose growled through gritted teeth. "We're leaving. We've got a new life, the Doctor and I are taking mum away from here and we're going to all be together. I was going to try and speak to you about maybe reconciling enough to be at least 'friend-ly' but I can see that won't happen. So hear this- Stay away from me. Stay away from my mother, my fiance, my child... Or you'll have-""Me, to deal with." The Doctor finished from where he'd propped in the open front door, blocking Mickey's quick escape. "Go on- Apologize to the ladies.""How-How did you- You changed..." Mickey stammered, earning an eye roll from the Doctor."Don't worry about it. Just apologize to them," The Doctor nodded toward Rose and Jackie, Rose's face red in rage, Jackie's eyes full of tears. "And then leave.""Rose, Jackie- I'm sorry. I hope you have a wonderful new life. Really, I do." He said, eyes on the floor. The Doctor stepped aside and let him run out, then he pulled the front door to the flat shut."You alright?" He ask gently, one arm snaked around Rose, his free hand on Jackie's shoulder."I helped raise that boy." Jackie sighed, wiping her tears away. "I just can't believe he'd say such things.""He's angry at me, not you." The Doctor assured her."Can't be too happy with me, either. But he'd been cheating on me for a lot longer than you and I had even thought about crossing the line from friendship. So who knows what's going on in his mind." Rose growled. "I don't care anymore. He started to insult our child and it was done in my head- no friendship left to save."The Doctor didn't say anything, but he pulled Rose close enough to put a kiss against her temple."We've packed the last of it." Jackie said, wiping the last of her tears away."Right- Just need to drop the key off for the movers and we can be off for home. Come on, got one last surprise for you." He bounced on the balls of his feet."Oh lord- what are you up to, now?" Jackie teased."You'll see." The Doctor grinned, holding the door as first Jackie then Rose exited. He lead them down to the ground floor and took Rose's hand. "Rose, cover your eyes, love." He said, grinning. He gave Jackie a wink. "Don't peak. Jacks, you keep a tight lip, don't react when you see, right?""You're making me nervous." Rose laughed, her eyes shut tight and one hand covering her eyes.The Doctor gently guided Rose as the three of them walked, and when Jackie caught sight of what he'd gotten to surprise Rose with in the parking lot, her jaw dropped and the Doctor shushed her, moving behind Rose and replacing the hand she'd covered her eyes with by covering her eyes with his own large hands."Are you ready?" He ask, kissing her cheek."I think?" Rose nodded against his hands."Alright. One- Two-" and he lifted his hands.Rose felt her knees give just a bit when her eyes fell on the sleek crossover SUV- at first she thought it was black, but as she moved and the light shifted on the car, she saw that it was actually the deepest of royal blues. She covered her mouth with her hands and gave a squeak."This one is yours." The Doctor smiled as she ran over and pulled the driver's door open. "Got myself one too, but it's not nearly as fun. Just gonna use it to drive to and from work, this one is the family car.""Doctor I can't drive." Rose said, already climbing into the car, just to feel the seat. "Used the bus or tube my whole life until you.""And you can learn. I'll teach you." He replied casually. He propped against the open driver's side door and ducked down to eye level where Rose sat. "So do you like it?"Jackie had taken the liberty of crawling on into the back, and she cooed at the already installed car seat- deep grey with powder pink flowers. Rose peaked behind the passenger seat at the car seat, and the dam broke. She began to cry nearly hysterically."That's a yes, Doctor." Jackie laughed lightly.Dinner was a bit quiet, with Mickey's eruption still in the back of everyone's mind.Jackie had seen herself out to her flat after helping Rose clear away their dinner mess while the Doctor returned a work call. He'd came back in to find her curled up on the couch, the tele turned to a music channel with the volume low, and a baby book open on the arm of the couch where she was propped. She had a stuffed giraffe cuddled into her chest."Says here that babies will sleep better in their cots if the cot smells like their parents." She said, holding up a soft pink blanket to him. "And the best way to do that is to hold their things.""Got a bit of time before she's here, yet." He reminded her gently. He still folded the blanket and laid it across his chest as he sat down beside her."She needs a name, too." Rose said after a few minutes. She swallowed thickly and looked over at the Doctor, who gave her a gentle smile."You have ideas, I'm sure." He said, turning a bit to face her better."Do you-" Rose stopped for a moment, licked her lips and furrowed her brow like she was trying to formulate her sentence carefully. He waited, watching as she worked through her thoughts. "I was going to ask if you wanted to give her a name from Gallifrey. But I don't even know yours."She'd not had any negativity in the statement, he could hear it in her voice and feel her emotions from the hand he held, but the words still stung like needles."I-" He paused, and let go of her hand to instead gently hold her cheek, "I can't tell you. Can't say it aloud, and it has no English translation, so I can't write it, either. I could show you, though, if you'd like."He felt so down, how his Rose now looked at him, feeling his sorrow and loss as her own, her eyes once again brimming with tears. It was becoming a herculean task for him to remind himself each day that her new found habit of frequently crying was mostly due to the hormonal changes in her body, and that he was, at least not now, the one truly causing them."You don't have to- I didn't mean..." She shuttered a breath."It's okay." He smiled gently again, and stood from the couch. It didn't take him long to return with a scrap of paper and pencil from her new art studio he'd put together in one of the office rooms of the first floor.He took the baby book from Rose and closed it, using the hard back binding to press on, and he carefully began to write in the swirling circular script that Rose had seen in various places in the TARDIS. She'd known it was Gallifreyan, but had no idea what any of it had said; anything she needed to know, the TARDIS had provided a secondary label in English for her.The first thing he wrote had many, many concentric and intersecting circles, and was long and complex. Below it was a similar but shorter set."This one," He ran the pencil below the line, pointing and underlining at the same time, "Is my full name. And this one," He underlined the second, "Is my family name. Hers, too-and eventually, yours.""They're so beautiful." Rose gently ran her fingers over the script, thankful he'd used one of her sketch pencils, so that the graphite didn't smudge when she touched it. "Doctor, why can't-""I sealed the end of the time war with my name, Rose." He cut her off, his voice sharp. Rose flinched at bit, knowing this was hurting him, not wanting to make it worse by reacting to his tone when it wasn't truly aimed at her. "Our names hold power, and I've bound fixed moments in time together with it. Ending the time war, protecting this existence. Really, it was a small price to pay compared to everything else the war took before I got up the courage to do wha-" His voice broke for a moment, and he took a long, deep breath. "Before I was brave enough to do what I had to do.""Thank you for telling me." Rose said quietly. She fought hard but eventually gave in to a yawn, and the Doctor smiled gently."Come on, my love. Bedtime for sleepy humans and growing time ladies." He helped her to her feet, and she held tight to his hand, silently vowing to try and learn as much about Gallifrey and their people as she could, for both the Doctor and their little girl.
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It didn't always happen when Rose slept- but the Doctor made it a point to watch he sleep often enough to watch for it, observe when it did happen.Every so often, as she slept, Rose's nail-beds, eyelids, sometimes the veins traveling her palms up her forearms- would begin to glow.The same golden, purer than sunlight hue that had scared him, and saved him. The power of the Wolf, the Heart of the TARDIS. It was with her yet, and the Doctor wasn't sure why, but he had been able to tell through many a secret test run while his sweet fiancee slept, it wasn't harming her or their baby. If anything, it seemed to be mending anything that may have ailed her.The glow came more often on days she'd been more physically exerted- days she drug her mother all over on shopping trips, or day trips the Doctor took her own to hidden flower meadows and lush mountain overlooks. He'd made a promise, and when he was not working, as long as she felt well, they popped around the Earth. Often, just for a few hours in the evenings, but it made her happy. The Doctor was happiest when Rose was beaming at him, tongue touched and nose wrinkled, a hand cradling their child growing in her womb.Everything the tests he'd ran indicated it was safe.The TARDIS herself was constantly in his head, firm and reassuring.'I'd never hurt our family' he could feel her oath as if the old ship had spoken aloud. He understood this. He believed it.But the father in him- the father who had lost and lost and lost... That part worried.It had been one such day. The Doctor got done with UNIT around 3:00 in the afternoon, and by the time he'd made the drive home, he'd found Rose curled up on the couch, munching a bowl of grapes. Her clothes were splattered with flakes of paint and her hair piled in her head. He'd ask what she'd been painting, but Rose blew him off- siting it as a surprise she wasn't done with. The Doctor could tell she meant it to stay that way, so he did not press the matter.He'd ask if she was up for going somewhere, and of course, she'd ask for a few minutes to change.It took a bit longer when she seduced him while they were meant to be getting ready to go out.An extra hour later, they'd finally made it out to Spain, wandering street shops, Rose gathering a collection of marzipan and nougats on top of the samples the generous shop keepers allowed her, seeing her excitement and condition.They'd taken a late meal in Spain as well, before the Doctor finally convinced her to get home to rest. It had come with another request from Rose to make love to her, which he was more than happy to fulfill.Finally, she lay completely exhausted but peaceful in his arms, and he Doctor himself was nearly asleep when the glow illuminated their darkened bedroom.He sat up abruptly, looking Rose over.Her face was still happy in her sleep, face relaxed and mouth slightly upturned in the corners. He laid a hand on her stomach and found their daughter equally asleep, safe in her mother's womb.The light, the glow- the power that this was didn't sit right with him, however. It was something about the way it wafted up and dissipated into the air over her. It put him in mind of the way the Sycorax had followed his own regeneration energy to earth.The Doctor carefully slipped from their bed, moving slowly as to not disturb Rose, and he padded down to the back spare bedroom where he'd often parked the TARDIS, making it effectively part of the home at large. In his lab he had vials equipped to catch energy, and he carefully slipped back upstairs and was able to catch a large exhale of it by stroking Rose's cheek, making her give a sleepy hummed sigh. He rushed back down to the lab and popped the vial in an analyzer. The screen showed a wait time of four hours, seventeen minutes, so the Doctor took the offered time and went back to join Rose for a rest.He napped until his time sense alerted him that the time given for testing had passed.The results were not what the Doctor was expecting.It did, however, remind him that once again, he should've trusted both Rose and the TARDIS, knowing that between being the two most brilliant creatures he'd ever been blessed to know, that their combined love was only out to do good- especially where the Doctor and his growing daughter were involved.The Doctor also knew what he needed to do to help with what the Wolf in Rose was doing.So he pocketed the vial and took it to work with him the following morning- intent on getting what Rose was missing for her.Rose was humming along with the radio to herself- and to her baby- as she very slowly painted over her own barely visible pencil lines on the large canvas, which was already covered in a blend of the deepest of crimsons and burgundies. The glittering gold paint she'd chosen to go over her lines looked so rich, almost as if she were truly painting with the molten metal- and so far she was pleased. She'd found herself about three-fourths of the way through her three day project when her phone pinged.'Have you and gran got plans for lunch?' a text from the Doctor read. Rose's eyes flicked to the top corner of her phone screen, noting the time.'Mum's out with Mo' she answered, then added, 'I was going to grab a bite here, we've got plenty to fix'Rose laid her phone down, satisfied her fiance was just making she she was eating well, and had started to get back to work, when the phone pinged again.'Don't. I'm sending you a surprise for lunch. Had a hunch it's something you've been wanting' he sent back, with two heart emojis behind it. Rose sent one back, along with a laughing face, and went back to her work after turning down the music enough that she could hear the doorbell.Rose found herself to be proud of how this was going. She'd not properly painted like this in years, and she'd done at least three smaller versions, which she'd burned even when semi-satisfied with them, just to keep the doctor from seeing the finished product. Her swirls and circles were just as perfectly round as the ones he'd done, though it took her much, much longer to do them in order to make sure. Another half hour passed with Rose deeply engrossed in her work when her doorbell finally rang out.Feet bare in the defiance of the summer heat, Rose made her way through the house, calling out as the doorbell was pressed again, then again and again in rapid succession. By the time she'd made it to the door, she hoped the Doctor had pre-tipped whoever had brought this mystery lunch, because she was much too aggravated."Heaven's sake, I said I was on my way- Can only move so fast these days ya kn-"The words fell from Rose's mouth as the door swung open.There was a man at the door, and he certainly was holding a bag of food- chips, to be exact, from Rose's favorite chippy. She could smell the salt and vinegar, and her mouth watered but she couldn't tear her eyes away from the man holding it.The best friend she'd ever had- her big brother she'd never seen coming.Grinning back at her, bag of chips in hand, was Jack Harkness."Hiya, Rosie." He greeted softly. Rose sputtered for a moment, then she reached out and wrapped him in a near bone crushing hug."I thought you'd died." She was crying now, Jack realized, hiding her face in the hug."Yeah, me too." He laughed, pulling her back so he could look her over. "Look at you! You're so cute!""Youc'n say fat, I'll let you get away with it." Rose smiled, ushering him inside."I would never! That's my niece, you know, she's hardly a ball of fat." Jack teased. He followed Rose to the living room and placed their food on the table, then tailed her further and into the kitchen, where she'd gotten herself a lemon lime fizzy drink, and he a beer."I'm just so happy you're here!" She beamed. "How- how long has it been for you?"It was like a switch had flipped in her, and the smile faded with the question. Jack's happiness, however, never faltered."Fifteen years." He replied with a shrug, like it was nothing."Oh!" Rose covered her mouth, more tears sliding down her cheeks. "Oh Jack...""Hey, no..." Jack hugged her again. "I'm okay. It's okay.""It isn't!" Rose shook her head. "God- we just left you there, didn't we!?""Rose, please don't cry..." Jack pleaded. "Shhh." He soothed, rubbing her back."But-""There wasn't really a 'we' to leaving me, and I think somehow, you know that. Doc told me he wasn't so good to you, either, for a bit." Jack eased her back onto the couch, then put her drink in her hands. He opened the bag and sat her chips and vinegar cup in front of her, then pulled the entire coffee table closer."It was awful for a little while." Rose confessed, closing her eyes. "He... He changed. I don't mean like, like physically, just- He wasn't good to me, anymore. He left me stranded on a broke down space station and snogged some rich french bitch- and I thought I was over that, but I guess I'm not..." At this Jack couldn't help a small laugh, though the words she was telling him were full of pain, and he just sat and tried to let her vent."I don't think he loved me for a while there, and he was running off sense of duty. It hurt. He accused me of hiding my pregnancy, he yelled at me... Pushed me away, lied and lied and lied..." She sighed, the words falling from her heart like they'd been waiting for any chance to escape. Here he was, the one person in the whole of creation who knew enough of her situation to understand, and she had missed him so much it had ached in her chest."He told me." Jack nodded. "I didn't think I'd get such answers, especially since I slugged him in the nose when he found me-""You hit him?" Rose squeaked, a mix of near-amusement and shock."I was abandoned on a space station, Rose. One full of dead people and dead Daleks." He reminded her. "He took it like a champ, said he needed it. From the sounds of how he'd treated you, he needed more than that. I mean- what were you going to do if he hadn't... gone back to the TARDIS for help?""I was going to just stay with my mum." Rose shrugged. "It was just a few months ago dying by his side was better than any life, but not with her-" She stroked her stomach, "And not with who he'd become. I absolutely never would've agreed to forever with the version of the Doctor I'd been stuck with those first few months. Now, the last two have been so good I've almost forgotten that we had that little... dip."Jack sat quietly as he watched this girl- the little sister he'd never had- as she dug into her lunch."I was so worried about you, Rosie." Jack said at last. "I was so fucking pissed at the Doctor, don't get me wrong. But I was so, so worried about you.""I'm tougher than I look." She remarked, mouth full of vinegar soaked potato."Don't I know it, doll." Jack grinned back, adding ketchup to his own chips. Rose gave this action a brief wrinkle of her nose, then went back to her own food."You don't look fifteen years older, Jack." Rose said finally, looking him over carefully."Yeah." Jack nodded, again trying to seem casual."I have some memories from being the 'Bad Wolf', I know you died." Rose whimpered, choking back another round of tears. "I don't remember what happened after that, exactly.""You bound your soul into time itself, the Heart of the TARDIS granting your wish in return for caring for her pilot. While you had it, you were granted what you wanted- Daleks gone, your family safe and okay, so I was suddenly not dead- and I can't die. Trust me, I've had more than one attempt on my life, a couple successes, none of them stuck. You got what you'd asked for from the TARDIS heart... I'd rather you'd included 'together' but we're here now and I didn't miss this..." He nodded to her stomach. "God I hope she has your ears.""How'd he find you?" Rose ask, head tilted, looking Jack over. "The Doctor. How'd he find you?""He had something he used and tracked me down because I had exposure to it, too. I assume the TARDIS energy." He shrugged. "Imagine my surprise when he showed up, younger and somehow hotter? Rose-" Jack winked at her, and she laughed. "We're doubling back to that by the way. I thought at first he must have been the Doctor from before he'd met me, so I stood back at first. He'd used a vortex manipulator to come, also, which threw me off. Then he brought me outside of the-""What?" Rose pressed as Jack stopped talking."I was gambling, for rent money, and I was losing. Badly. The Doctor stole me out of the game." He laughed. "Said I belonged with the three of you. Actually- he said I should be with my family, and that I had a wedding to be best man in, and I was so over being mad in that moment. Then he showed me the sonogram, and Rose- I wept like a freaking baby. I'm so happy for you two- and I'm so humbled that you'd want me around, to be part of her life...""We love you, you idiot." Rose laughed. "I'll show you around the bedrooms in a bit and you can pick one out.""Just to clarify, the Doc didn't tell you I was coming?" Jack ask. Rose shook her head. "But you said almost the same thing he did. That you'd show me around and let me pick a room. You haven't even talked to each other about it but... You both really want me here?"Rose had never seen Jack so full of raw, pure emotion before. He was often hidden behind a smirk and a joke, and even those close enough to peek behind the mask didn't seem him unguarded often."We love you, Jack." Rose repeated. "And as long as you keep sex jokes off the table as much as possible, and threesome suggestions, because A- NOT going to happen, and B-because heaven knows how they crawl all over the Doctor... We very much want you here." She was smiling as she gave the 'conditions' he'd be needing to meet. "Oh! And you're live-in baby help!""Of course!" Jack agreed. "Uncle Jack at your beck and call."They'd fallen back into more light conversation, and Jack's teasing about how the Doctor had changed, and how good it looked on him. Rose was allowing a bit of the details of the difference to be known, always happy to have a little 'girl talk' with Jack, when her phone pinged again.'How's lunch?' the Doctor had ask.'Wonderful. You're wonderful. Thank you so much. I love you so much.' Rose replied.'Anything to make you smile, Rose Tyler. I love you, more.' he replied.When the Doctor came home, he was greeted by the joyful sounds that would often beckon him from beneeth the TARDIS console to the galley when they'd been traveling together; Jack and Rose singing, and not terribly, he might add, along with the radio as they cooked.Jack was over at the stove, flipping something in a wok, and Rose was mincing veggies. He came in and propped on the doorway, grinning at the sight."I'd missed this nonsense." He admitted as the song faded off, and Jack simply shot him a smile and wink over his shoulder, unable to leave whatever he was stir frying for fear it would stick. Rose however cleared the distance between them in a bound, pulling him down to her for a brief but heated kiss."Hey, you." She greeted."If I didn't know any better, I'd think you liked your lunch surprise more than the house or car..." He teased, knowing exactly that Rose was much more about the love of her little chosen family than the material things.The Doctor moved to run his hand along Rose's belly when a lightening like zap jumped from Rose's abdomen to his fingertips."Doctor what-""Did you feel that, Rose?" He demanded, kneeling before her. He gently turned her hips toward him and took his sonic out and scanned her stomach.Jack had turned off the stove eye and sat his wok on the back, cool burner, watching carefully."No." She shook her head. "I didn't feel anything. Did you?""Yeah." His face was severe, deep in thought. He looked up at Rose's large eyes, swimming with worry. His hand hovered a few inches away, like he was scared to try to get to close again."What did it feel like?" Rose whispered. The Doctor reached up and stroked up her cheek and stopped at her temple, edging into her mind with a light psychic connection, just giving her warmth and love, then fading back out."Like that." He said, pulling his hand back down. "Rose- Rose I think you're halfway through the pregnancy. I think she's getting her telepathy." He looked up at her, happy tears filling his intense blue eyes."She reached out to you?" Rose peeped, her own tears spilling down her cheeks as he grinned up at her, nodding."She did." He finally spread his large hand over her abdomen. He got close and spoke to their daughter, using Gallifreyan in a calm voice. He closed his eyes as the 'zap' of energy could be seen dancing between his fingertips as the baby sent it out. The smallest sniffle sounded from behind the couple, catching their attention enough for them both to look over and see Jack had teared up as well."Sorry, I'm sorry. I was trying to be quiet I swear." He defended. "That was just so damn beautiful.""Only I have a free pass to cry!" Rose teased, tossing a dish towel at him. "Come on you two- let's finish supper, then you can talk to her all you want, Doctor."
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It only took a couple weeks for Jack to fall back into place exactly where he'd been before.Minus the innuendo, when he could help it, as he'd promised Rose.The Doctor, given his status at UNIT, had immediately found Jack a job with the agency, as soon as he'd settled in. He'd quickly been placed at the Doctor's side, second in command, and no one at UNIT was willing to question it.It had been a simple day at work for them, mostly just catching up on the bureaucracy bit that the Doctor so much loved to ignore, and they'd come home to Rose with dinner and a store bought birthday cake for no occasion other than that she'd mentioned having a craving at breakfast the day before. A belly full enough to lull their active daughter into a rest cycle saw Rose retiring early as well.Neither Jack nor the Doctor were in any rush to get to sleep, the following day being a Saturday and there was no officially scheduled work they needed to plan for.Jack found himself on the loveseat in the living room, sock-feet kicked up on the coffee table as he flipped vaguely through the channels. The Doctor was lounged over his favorite overstuffed chair just to the left, his long legs cast over the arm of the chair as he read from a book Jack couldn't make the cover out for.Bored, Jack paused on the Sky History channel, letting the program play."Beer, Doctor?" He called over his shoulder as he went for the kitchen."No, Ta." He replied without looking up.With a shrug, Jack continued on, and eventually returned with a beer in hand, as well as a bowl of crisps. He sank back into the couch, settling his snack when the return on the program caught his attention.There was a historian on the tele explaining about a temple that had been recently found in the countryside of old Rome, with a unique vision for the Goddess, Fortuna.For a moment, Jack sat stone still, just listening to the Professor speak. As images kept showing of the temple, Jack became more confused, concerned, and felt his chest grow tighter."Uh, Doc?" He spoke up, finally finding how to get past his initial shock. "You may wanna see this."Jack pointed to the television as the camera view panned back from the historians to a perfect marble depiction of Rose.The statue didn't just resemble Rose.It was her. The rings on her right hand she always wore- two on her pointer, one on her thumb and one on her pinky- were in place, as well as her hooped earrings- though one had been broken through the ages. Otherwise she was in period correct attire, but her face- it was unmistakable.Another clear clue was the snarling wolf curled around her feet, equally lifelike. The only blemish on that part of the statue was a few chunks of the fur had been chipped away.The program continued to play, and it showed smaller images, reliefs and carvings, and even a bit of pottery- all bearing a Rose-Fortuna as the deity, each with a wolf by her side.Jack had abandoned watching the television in favor of watching his friend."That doesn't make any sense." The Doctor said after a long time of sitting in shocked, open mouthed silence. "I'd have felt a time shift like this. There is no way I wouldn't have-""She's pregnant in a couple of them." Jack pointed out. "Maybe it hasn't happened yet, at least for Rose?""I would've felt the timeline shift, Jack. Either way, it would be human history. It has been changed." The Doctor insisted. "Bloody fuckin'- Ugh... I've gotta-" He stammered as he stood, running a hand over his hair in thought. "Go get dressed, meet me at the TARDIS in twenty minutes. I'm going to tell her where we're going, then we can go investigate.""Yes, Boss." Jack gave a two fingered salute and ducked away toward his room, snacks now forgotten.The Doctor stood and watched the television a moment longer before heading up the stairs toward the bedroom he shared with his sleeping fiancee.Sometime since he'd helped her get settled for the night, Rose had tangled herself into a twist in the sheets. She was comically spread across the middle of the mattress, one leg wrapped like a burrito in the top sheet. She was half on her side, a pillow propped under her stomach. The Doctor couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, snoring lightly as she rested.He hated that he'd have to wake her at all.As gently as he could but still getting her attention, the Doctor stroked down her cheek with the back of his hand."Rose? Rose, wake up, Precious Girl." He called, kissing the top of her head as he bowed over her sleeping form."Hmm?" She hummed, one brown eye making an attempt to open. "Doctor? W'time 's it?""Half ten. I'm sorry to wake you at all, but there was something came up and Jack and I need to go in the TARDIS. I didn't want you to wake up alone and see her gone and worry." He explained."Whatcha going for?" She ask, sitting up and stretching."Jack was watching something about ancient Rome, and we saw something a little out of place. Going to go make sure everything is on the up and up, that's all." He tried to soothe her."S' no 'mediate danger?" She questioned with a yawn."None to speak of." The Doctor confirmed."Right. S' then it's safe for me to go." She sat up fully now, rubbing both eyes. The tiredness had left her voice, excitement taking over in its place."Er- I'd rather you didn't..." The Doctor tried to deflect. "But since we're really sticking with the honesty thing, I can't tell you that there is any particular reason you shouldn't go- except that you are the thing out of place.""What?""There was a temple found with statues of you. Not a woman who looks like you, but you. Each piece showed you with a wolf at your side." He explained. "Even pregnant in a couple of 'em. I am apprehensive. Uncomfortable." He admitted. A knock on their open door sounded and called their attention from one another."I know you said meet you at the TARDIS, but these were on the console. Thought I should bring them up." Jack explained, both arms draped with clothing- obviously period accurate for their destination. He had two sets of sandals gripped in his hand. Once he'd laid their costumes down, they could see he'd already put on what the TARDIS had provided him."I bet one of those is for Rose, eh?" The Doctor guessed, and Jack confirmed, laying each set on the foot of the bed.The robes were some of the finest fabrics, in rich, rare colors. They would show all three with a bit of wealth and status upon arrival, granting them a bit more access to ask around- Though both men suspected just having Rose with them would be enough."Coming with, Rosie?" Jack ask, grinning."Wouldn't miss it!" She grinned back.Their first stop was to the British Museum, just to let Rose have a look at one of the statues they'd seen on the documentary.The museum was closed, but the TARDIS was able to loop security footage to cover their private viewing of the statue.It was not one of the statues that depicted her with child, and the robes she wore in it were a bit different, but even Rose had to admit- the thing was exactly her, complete with a fierce, feral looking bad wolf at her side."Is that really what I look like?" She pondered, her hand held securely in the Doctor's. Her eyes were wide in wonder. "That's me?""Breathtaking, aren't you?" He gave her a quick kiss to the cheek. "C'mon, love. Just didn't want you completely blindsided when we arrive at the functioning temple.""Oh. K." Rose breathed, nodding along. She allowed the Doctor to guide her back to the ship so he could set course for the Roman past."Rose, Jack, welcome to Mediolanum." The Doctor flung the TARDIS door open to a hill overlooking a city. The city itself was walled off, but there were many structures around, homes and homesteads, and a bustling road that showed trades were currently in high demand. "Just a way that way, beyond that berry grove, that is where your temple stands. It's small and outside the city, so that explains why early 2000's archeologists are just finding it. Though... Could just be because it was newly added to this timeline. Suppose that's up to us to find out. Or you, anyway.""Doctor, I really don't think it is my temple." She defended."I do.""It is."Jack and the Doctor spoke over one another at once. Rose shook her head at both, took the Doctor's offered arm and began to descend the hill toward the town."Probably should just skip straight to married if anyone asks." The Doctor spoke up as they walked. "Ya know, for your virtue.""What is it they're depicting me as the Goddess of, exactly?" Rose ask in reply."They've made you a 'Fortuna', Goddess of chance and luck. Her, or rather in this case your presence is said to bring abundance and increase. Often associated with but not explicitly a fertility goddess." The Doctor explained."Got me there." Rose huffed, her free hand smoothing her robes over her baby bump."I don't have to tell you how important the image of the wolf is to a Roman." The Doctor continued, "I know you know about Remus and Romulus. But a she-wolf specifically is the warrior spirit. Fortune in war." The Doctor continued."So why is it me?" Rose squeaked, pausing for a moment to catch her breath."Could it be a 'Bad Wolf' thing?" Jack pondered, breaking his long streak of silence as they'd walked."Might do. You were everywhere, all at once. You're barely tipping the ice berg getting those memories back." The Doctor explained to Rose as he considered Jack's hypothesis."Think they'll have a place for a poor, puffy goddess to prop her feet for a bit?" Rose groaned as they started back to walking."My love, at your temple, I do believe they'll have anything you could ever want." He grinned, gently leading her along.Rose barely had time to take anything in once inside the temple before a priestess had spotted her, immediately crossing the length of the entire hall to fall at Rose's feet.This triggered a chain reaction until there were at least twenty five people kneeling before her."Speak to them, love." The Doctor encouraged, nodding down to her 'subjects' who were still and silent in reverence. "Remember, the TARDIS will help them understand, no need to try and sound fancy.""Good morning..." Rose started nervously. "If you could all go ahead and rise, thanks."Slowly, each one lifted their heads, taking in Rose, along with the Doctor and Jack."Goddess, divine, great lady Fortuna..." the priestess who had first spotted Rose spoke up, eyes never looking directly at Rose's own. "We thank you humbly for this visit upon us today. Pray, what can we do to serve you and...""Oh! Right. 'S my husband, and-" Rose hesitated, wincing slightly as the baby kicked against her ribs, and she rubbed at the sore spot."Forgive the Goddess, ladies." Jack soothed, stepping forward, "And forgive my forwardness. As you can see, Lady Fortuna and her beloved, the Lord Tempus, expect a child, and she is a bit weary from the road from Olympus here today. I am but their humble servant. Here for the Lady and Lord's bidding.""Felicitations on your match, my lady!" The main priestess cheered. "An honor to have you as well, Lord Tempus."The Doctor gave a tight lipped smile and nod, knowing his place as a "lower deity" as they thought he was, in the temple of Fortuna."Do you require a midwife, my lady?" Another priestess spoke up. "Our priestesses are many, and we are trained in the healing ways and natural order.""Not quite time for that, thanks." Rose laughed nervously. "A... Snack... might be good though..." She looked over at the Doctor uncertainly, but he simply gave her a smirk and an amused head shake, following the priestesses who had sprung into action as they were guided toward a place to rest.They led the trio through a few rooms, until they came to a large, open area with pillows and soft fabrics scattered about. Rose wasted no time once she was offered the space, and she quickly made a pile resembling a lounge chair to kick back on, putting her feet up. The Doctor knelt at her feet, and began to rub her sore ankles.A young woman in similar but less elaborate clothing to the priestesses appeared at his side at once, bowing slightly."Please, your immanence," She spoke, "Allow us to care for the Goddess. It is proper her staff attend her needs in her temple."The Doctor shot Rose a look of 'told you so' at the young teen calling it 'her' temple, but he allowed the girl to take over and he instead situated himself beside her on the cushions. The young girl carefully and gently rubbed small circles into Rose's aching feet and ankles, working some sort of floral oil into the painful muscle."What's your name?" Rose ask, head tilted as she enjoyed the massage."I am Alba, Lady Fortuna." She replied, eyes still avoiding Rose's."Are you happy here. Alba? In my temple, I mean." She ask sincerely, and the young girl smiled."Your kindness surpasses even legend, my lady." Alba started. "Thank you for caring about me. I am your servant, now and always. Training to Vestal, to serve your rites. It is a fine life, my lady. One of comfort."Rose seemed satisfied with the answer, and beamed, tongue just barely sticking between the front of her teeth."Glad to hear it." Rose sighed, falling back into the cushions again."May I ask, Alba," The Doctor spoke up, "And forgive my curiosities. My wife has never been to this temple to visit before. In fact- until recently it was unknown to Lady Fortuna. It is quite beautiful, but a bit different from the others. Could you please tell us more? Or is there a Lady Mother who can?""Mother Fausta, my lord." Alba nodded, and the Doctor hummed, amused."Born to serve my lady, then?" He ask. "Fausta, lucky.""Indeed, my lord." The young girl nodded again, standing from her place at Rose's feet. "Are there any other services I can supply you, Great Lady?""No, thank you." Rose smiled. "But to speak with the Mother Fausta, please.""My lady." Alba nodded deeply once again before hurrying off.It was at least a hour before the 'Mother Fausta' came into the room that Rose, the Doctor and Jack had been brought to rest. In that time they'd been brought fresh food and the younger priestesses of Rose's temple had come in to see for themselves Rose's kindess. She was delighted by the young women, and happy to speak to each one, learning their names.Silence came over them suddenly, however, when Mother Fausta appeared in the doorway.Her robes were elaborate, shimmering gold that caught the light at every angle when she moved. She wore a wolf's skin draped across her shoulder. Rose sat up a bit when she entered, but didn't stand as the Doctor laid a gentle but firm hand on her forearm to let her know it was the priestess' place to kneel, not Rose's to rise.Rose was starting to tire of being a goddess."Goddess Divine. Your Immanence." she bowed deeply before Rose, then nodded to the Doctor. "I am the Lady mother of this coven, Fausta. It is the honor of my lineage that you grace us this day. Please, any desire you have, speak it."Rose licked her lips, planning her words. The Doctor and Jack had made a plan for how Rose should speak to this woman, and she was trying to make sure she didn't miss anything before speaking."You are too kind, and everything has been beyond acceptable. Delightful, even." The compliment earned Rose another deep bow. "However, as my husband mentioned earlier, this temple was unknown to me until recently. I apologize, sometimes I lose memories when-""When the wolf is in control, my Lady?" The priestess cut her off. "I beg your forgiveness. I noticed that she was not with you, nor of you this day.""Yeah... Yeah exactly." Rose nodded. "She helps when needed, but she's bound to me, her soul to mine.""Yes, my Lady." Fausta nodded. "A great and generous gift you've shared with our people. This temple was completed not twenty years ago to thank you. The day those horrible grubs came from the sky. Spitting fire and destruction. Without your sacrifice of body to the wolf, my lady, we'd have lost everything. Indeed, the city may have fallen, then all of Rome.""The grubs look like this?" The Doctor ask, falling completely out of character as he pulled his psychic paper from his inner robes. The image of a Dalek, roughly sketched, appeared for all of them to see."Yes, my lord." Fausta confirmed. "Our Lady spoke them to nothing. A wave of her hand and the wolf charged forth. Their decent was stopped and their army no more.""Damn, I really wish I could remember that..." Rose complained. The priestess smiled softly."We remember it, My Lady. And we will always, for you saved a great many souls that day." She bowed deeply as she finished telling Rose. "How long shall you stay, my goddess?" She ask, bowing only slightly once more. "We wish to have rooms worthy and ready.""No, not necessary." Rose smiled kindly. "Just a short visit, I'm afraid. Business at home, you understand. Only the night, I think. Take our leave after breakfast. Husband?""My lady." He nodded, wrinkling his nose at the cheek she was currently showing."I shall have your rooms prepared now. Would you like your servant kept in attached quarters?" She nodded toward Jack, who was still sitting silently to the side, eating berries. He gave a small wave when he noticed they were acknowledging him."Please." Rose agreed. "And thank you again."The priestess took her leave and Rose turned more to the Doctor."Sorry if you didn't want to stay- I've been enough places with you to know you don't turn down too much hospitality from the locals." She laughed."Nah, seemed reasonable to me." The Doctor kissed her temple. "It is your temple, after all.""It is, isn't it?" Rose snorted. "Imma proper goddess.""Could've told you that." the Doctor murmured into her ear before kissing her neck just below. He wrapped his arms around Rose and pulled her closer."For the record, Rosie- I always knew you were." Jack pipped in."Sod off, Harkness." The Doctor tried to huff, but he cracked, amused."So wait- if you're a Time Lord, and Rose is an actual Goddess- what does that make poor ol' immortal Jack?" He pondered aloud."A pain in my ass." The Doctor quipped back."But I'm special too..." Jack whined, melodramatically flopping onto the cushion next to him."I'm a goddess, he's a Time Lord, and you, Jack Harkness, are our personal jester." Rose teased. "Take it or leave it.""Oh I'll take it." Jack smiled back, settling into the cushions. "I'll take that deal anyday."