Work Text
Mittens Fluff 'N' Stuff was outside reading her schedule for today. "Ah, let's check my schedule. Go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work, annoy Jewel Sparkles, go to work, go to work, go to work, go to work. Well, I guess I oughta go help out at Crumbs' cafe today," Mittens said as she read her schedule. "Hey, what's up, Mittens?" Spot asked as she approached onto the scene. "What are you doing up so early?" Mittens asked. "For some reason, my TV isn't working," Spot answered as a TV showing static, then color bars. "That's my favorite channel, the Secret Channel," Mittens answered. "Honestly, I gotta go help Crumbs with her baking," Mittens told Spot. "Nah, just take the day off today," Spot said. "Didn't you try this before? I'm not gonna lose my helping position, and Crumbs told me she'd replace me with a microwave if I'm late one more time," Mittens said in response. "You know what? Have fun, I could try to help out over there on my own," Spot said as she took Mittens to her favorite snowy area to play in, then left off to go to Crumbs' cafe."Where's Mittens? She's never this late. Of course, she just had to choose the day the health inspector's visiting tonight. She's gonna be here to check the quality of my cafe," Crumbs Sugar Cookie said as it cuts to inside her cafe. "What? The health inspector's coming today?" Jewel asked. "Yes, she's probably on her way right now," Crumbs answered as it shows a scene of the heath inspector, currently a mystery for now, driving there in the rain. "Well, what are we gonna do?" Jewel asked. "It's too late. There's nothing we can do. We can only hope Mittens gets here first," Crumbs answered. "Well, she's here now!" Jewel said as she heard a doorbell.It was actually Spot Splatter Splash that came in, wearing a blue wig and Mittens' usual clothes. "I recognize the blue hair and these clothes. Mittens is here!" Crumbs announced. "These clothes are super tight on me... oh, I mean, 'sup guys and girls? Ace, you're looking thinner than usual," Spot said to Ace Fender Bender who was also helping out at Crumbs' place, fixing stuff there. "Spot, what are you-" Ace was about to say until Crumbs interrupted him to tell "Mittens" (really Spot) something. "Mittens, I'm so glad you made it. We don't get sick days anyway so as long as any customers don't get sick we're perfectly fine. Ready to make the ultimate cookie?" Crumbs asked Spot. "The ultimate cookie? Crumbs, that hasn't been made in our entire 14 years of operation! Sorry, but Spot here isn't gonna be able to do it," Jewel added. "I'm clearly not Spot, do you see what I'm wearing?" Spot, dressed as Mittens, asked. "I think these clothes are too tight for you," Ace said about Spot's clothing choice. "You should go home, Ace, I think the heat's got to your head," Spot said in response. "Yeah, Ace, we really can't be having this today. Listen, the health inspector is coming tonight and you're just gonna embarrass us by saying that. This is clearly Mittens here. So, you should just take the day off, Ace," Crumbs said to Ace. "Will it be a paid day off?" Ace asked. "No, of course not," Crumbs answered as a clip of Patchy the Pirate saying "No!" was shown. "Fine, you know what, if Mittens wants to get paid by having Spot fill in for her helping position, and Mittens doesn't have to help out here, then I quit and will just go back to fixing Lalaloopsies' toilets and stuff. I'll just have Jewel run this place by herself. So long. Nice knowing you, guys," Ace said to them all as he left."It's time to stop messing around. The health inspector could be coming any minute. You have to make the ultimate cookie. We can't just serve her a regular old cookie. We have to make him think we're a five-star pristine cafe. You got that, Mittens? I know the ultimate cookie hasn't been made in our 14 years of operating, but you're the only one who is able to create it," Crumbs explained to Mittens. "Uh, no comprendo, I don't know about that, Crumbs. But, uh, how about we just give the health inspector these cool stickers? Look at these. Water would be nice, there's a Squidward 'bring it around town' one, here, Crumbs, I got one for you. A cupcake sticker to remind you of how you love baking," Spot said as she showed off some stickers. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! We can't do that! I wanted a treasure chest sticker," Crumbs said as she looked at the stickers. "No, I want the treasure chest," Spot said as she turned around to a treasure chest and opened it up.to reveal four paletas inside, foreshadowing Papa Louie's next restaurant opening soon. "I wanted a chicken sandwich from the Cluckeria," Spot said as she saw her treasure. "We don't always get what we want. And Jewel, what happened to your tiara? Is everybody playing pranks on me today?" Crumbs asked as she noticed Jewel's tiara missing. "So, you made Ace quit and now I'm just left running this place by myself?" Jewel asked. "We got another helper here. Well, buddy, get to the kitchen and start making an ultimate cookie! We don't have time to waste!" Crumbs told Spot. Spot went off to the kitchen to start preparing."Well, time to make a cookie. Never made one of these before, I hope I don't poison anybody like I did when I made cupcakes last time. Let's just get the cookie dough on there," Spot said as she threw a big glob of cookie dough in the oven. "I don't know what Crumbs meant by the ultimate cookie, but I'm cooking this because it's colorful, and that is certainly my style. I hope the health inspector isn't like a Lalaloopsified Gordon Ramsay," Spot said as she was watching her cookie bake in the oven. "I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to do here. I have seen Crumbs bake them a couple times. You know, they just look so undone. Oh, now they're starting to rise. They're looking pretty good now," Spot said as she saw the cookies starting to rise. But as it was such a huge glob of dough to make it "ultimate," the cookie still wasn't done yet. "This is taking too long! I gotta increase the heat!" Spot said as she raised the temperature in the oven up to 500 degrees. "Crumbs told me to hurry so I gotta take shortcuts here! The health inspector could be here any minute! Or even worse, Mittens could be back from playing in the snow any second! I'm doing just fine on my own here. Beats sitting at home watching MLP episodes all day. I wonder what I can buy with my first paycheck. Maybe a cookie from here. Or maybe 10, 11, or 15. Or maybe 20," Spot explained to the viewers as the cookie was still baking."She better be making that ultimate cookie right," Crumbs said, back in her cafe. Crumbs gasped as she saw Rosy Bumps 'N' Bruises, the health inspector, arrive. "Hey, girls," Rosy said as she arrived. "The health inspector's here!" Crumbs announced. "No wonder Ace left, he couldn't handle the heat. He's probably at home right now having a panic attack," Jewel said as the scene cuts to Ace Fender Bender back in his room just having a sip of Mountain Dew Baja Blast, proving Jewel's statement wrong. "I'm ready to order," Rosy said. "Hurry, Mittens! Where's that ultimate cookie?!" Crumbs called out. The scene then cuts to Spot, still disguised as Mittens, in the kitchen getting ready to put the cookie together. "You know, it doesn't really feel that ultimate to me. Something's telling me the ultimate first choice is always teal frosting," Spot said as she spread some of that over her big cookie she just baked. "And you know, some Tropical Charms. You gotta shake them on the cookie like so," Spot said as she sprinkled some Tropical Charms on top of the cookie. "I have a great idea. Everyone likes a little bit of liquid blue," Spot said as she drizzled on a bit of blueberry topping she borrowed from Papa's Freezeria. "And this is the ultimate choice! You know what really makes it ultimate? It needs a lot of Luau Punch syrup!" Spot said as she started squirting lots of it on top of the already splattered cookie. "That's not enough! It needs more! More Luau Punch syrup! I'm gonna make Gordon Ramsay proud! Straight up looking like teal paint!" Spot said after emptying out an entire bottle of the topping on the cookie, then put a gummy kraken candy on top. "My first cookie! Dang, I wish I could eat that! This is straight up the ultimate cookie!" Spot said as she got ready to serve Rosy the health inspector the cookie."Ahem, is my food gonna be done anytime soon?" Rosy asked. "Where's that cookie?!" Crumbs called out, getting impatient. "Order up, Crumbs Sugar Cookie, it's all done, Spot said as she set the cookie down. "Finally, it's done! I can give it to Rosy now!" Crumbs said as she saw the messy cookie. "I'm sure she'll love it," Spot added. Jewel sniffed the "ultimate cookie" that Spot just made. "Oh, that's a teal mess all over that thing!" Jewel said after smelling it. "Oh, finally! Can't wait to take a bite of thi-" Rosy said until she looked at her messy cookie, and got an iPhone to record the review with. "For real, this is a terrible first impression. Got a gummy kraken thingy on my cookie which I definitely did not order. Excuse me, who cooked this magnificent cookie?" Rosy said in her review on the cookie. "Oh, it must be so good she wants to talk to you. Go in there, Mittens, make me proud," Crumbs told Spot. "How are you enjoying your ultimate cookie, sir? I see you ate most of it," Spot told Rosy. The scene pans to show four rats near the cookie not even eating it. "Not even the rats are eating it! I can't eat this! This thing is garbo!" Rosy said about the cookie. It is then revealed Rosy got food poisoning after. "Mittens, what did that cookie do to her? What is this? The frosting being teal instead of pink? It's despicable! This is not the ultimate cookie! I gotta get rid of this! I need some fresh air!" Crumbs said as she went outside and threw it in the field.Suzette La Sweet, Crumbs' rival, came to look at the dropped cookie outside. "You know, I'll just be taking this for research purposes. Come on, data sample, get in the bag, get in the bag, you little data sample," Suzette said as she put the dropped cookie in a Ziploc bag and hopped over to a computer. "I gotta do some analysis! All right, computer, show me the secret formula!" Suzette said as she dropped the bagged cookie on the keyboard, and the computer started scanning. "Scanning cookie... 50% Luau Punch, 50% dirt," the computer voice said. "That can't be right. This place never makes a cookie so... despicable. So nasty, so disgusting, so... evil," Suzette said as she began smashing the computer's keyboard. Back at Crumbs' cafe, Crumbs was telling Spot about her whole mishap that happened. "Mittens, get your head back in the game. I don't know if this is a prank or what. You have to make another ultimate cookie...now! Or else I'll have Jewel make it instead," Crumbs told Spot. "What?! Now I have to make it?!" Jewel asked, not wanting to do it and get herself dirty. "I'm sorry that happened to you, ma'am, it was a rare malfunction," Crumbs told Rosy. "At least I wasn't hospitalized from it, and I can get back to work now, but don't let it happen again!" Rosy said in response.Back where the real Mittens is, she's playing in the snow without any sort of protection covering her, all stripped down to a bathing suit. "Uhh, ahh. You think you know a girl. Now I'm left in my bathing wear and there's snakes near me," Mittens said as she saw snakes near her. "Please don't eat me. What you doing here?" Mittens asked the snakes, as she started heading back to Crumbs' cafe to see how Spot's doing as her. Mittens headed back to Crumbs' cafe in her bathing suit. "Hey girls. Uh, this is awkward," Mittens said to everyone. "Who could that be?" Crumbs asked. "Oh, hey, it's Spot," Spot said, revealing who she really is. "All right, Spot, why'd you jack my clothes, and put on a blue wig to impersonate me? I need them back right now, please. I don't want anyone else seeing me like this," Mittens told Spot. Mittens and Spot both went to the bathroom to get themselves changed back to their normal clothes, then came back out. "All right, I'm back! How would you feel if I started being you for a day?" Mittens asked Spot. "I still remember the time I tried to draw your portrait and it didn't look that good," Spot answered. "You're not Mittens, she's Mittens. I see it now. I guess that explains a lot," Crumbs said as she saw that "Mittens" really was Spot all this time. "All right, time to make the ultimate cookie!" Mittens said. A cookie zooming in, similar to that scene from Krusty Krab Training Video complete with the same tune, was shown.Mittens brought in a store-bought giant cookie for Rosy. "Don't worry, I already made and got it, thank me later," Mittens said as she brought the cookie in. "Dang, that thing is huge! Let's just hope they didn't slather this thing in Luau Punch like the last one," Crumbs said as she saw the giant store bought cookie. Crumbs cut out a slice of it like a pizza. "You know it's the ultimate if it's this big and it looks so good. It's a little melted but that's okay because it's the ultimate cookie," Crumbs said as she cut out her slice and served it up to Rosy. "Dang, this thing looks good, girl! You win the inspection this time," Rosy said as she literally put her face in the entire cookie and started eating it all up. "Thankfully, we had a happy ending out of all this," Crumbs said as the adventure ends here.