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“This one?” San asks, pointing at one of the bottles on the shelf.
“No. Look,” Seonghwa explains, getting closer so San can see too. “See the picture? This is for the kitchen. We need one that shows the floor and the mop.”
It’s San’s first visit to the store. He has been excited about it because he wants to see where all the smells come from, but he’s still a bit scared of getting out of the house in fear someone will take him away. Even if Wooyoung isn’t here (he’s in dance practice at the moment), San is with his Seonghwa hyung so he feels safe. Still, since the fear hasn’t left his body, San is wearing one of Yunho’s beanies to hide his ears and his tail hidden inside one of Mingi’s big hoodies. If he’s going out, he’ll do it as humanly as possible.
His reading skills - despite improving - are not that good so Seonghwa instructs him for the images to look for instead. San knows how to do that better, liking this little game of finding products and adding them to the cart.
The cleaning aisle is very curious to San, picking every single thing to smell them before putting them down. It’s so exciting because, apart from cleaning supplies, San also gets to see and smell all the food in the world. He’s still gaining weight by doctor’s orders so Seonghwa basically lets him put whatever he wants in their card if he eats his vegetables first (he’s not happy with that, but he’ll come up with something).
“San-ah, come look at the meat,” Mingi calls with a smile, knowing San will love this.
Effectively, the hybrid practically sprints to him with the biggest smile before stopping right by his side, still nervous to touch them. Mingi has become closer to San, but he can still see the hybrid holding back so he decides to help him by taking his wrist and guiding him to the freezers with the meat. Despite not being visible, Mingi can imagine the way San’s tail is swinging from side to side. Mingi has yet to touch San’s fur and it’s not because of lack of interest, it’s more like lack of intimacy between them. San is desperate for friends but doesn’t want to push them and Mingi can’t say he’s not scared of the hybrid, but he’s also endeared by him as San has proven to be incredibly kind and sweet.
They plan the menu for the week, buying accordingly - although Mingi winks at him before sneaking a pack of his favorite cookies in. After their busy morning, Seonghwa drives them back to the house where Jongho is waiting for them.
“How was it?” Jongho asks with a kind smile from his place on the kitchen table where he’s going through homework.
“There’s so many foods in the store,” San meows, voice excited despite his serious face. “And smells. I like the smells.”
Even if San loves smelling new things, he can’t be in the kitchen while food is being cooked because then they risk San stealing a bit of whatever is in the pan (and burning himself) or San sneezing time and time again when there are spices involved. A few incidents have taught them to keep San far from the kitchen and only call for him once food is cooked so Jongho sends him to the living room so he can relax after his shopping trip.
What they get from the visit to the supermarket, however, is San getting a new hobby. It’s true that Wooyoung has voiced before that San must get bored being alone for so long while they’re in class, especially when he can’t get out of the house when others aren’t close in case something happens, but San has always assured them that he is more than okay with staying in sleeping or watching something on TV and there were people by lunchtime so it’s not like he spends the whole day alone, just mornings. San was more than okay with that, but his curiosity has brought him to the broom closet, where he takes a big plastic bottle and hugs it, making his way to the living room.
“What do you have there, kitten?” Wooyoung asks, seeing San with a proud smile.
“Smells good,” San says, like that’s enough explanation.
“Do you want to know what it’s for?”
That’s how San’s new obsession with cleaning - and Seonghwa’s biggest nightmare - starts.
In San’s defense, he really tries. He listens to the instructions and follows them around, watching closely how they do it before he tries it by himself. Objectively, he has all the tools he needs to clean properly and he’s a fast learner. Still, San and cleaning don’t marry. At all. So they get used to coming home with little disasters.
“Don’t step there!” San greets them one day as they come home from class.
It’s not strange for all of them to leave around the same time in the morning, but it is strange for them to come back at the same time. However, it happens. Like today when they’re about to cross the door looking for something to eat and San stops them with a hiss. His ears are pushed back and his hair standing on point so they know it’s not a joke.
In silent consensus, they push Wooyoung until he’s in the front. He will be their representative. Wooyoung allows the manhandlement with a polite smile, but he makes sure to step on as many feet as he can in the process. He loves talking to San, but he would prefer if the others weren’t so scared to face San.
“Kitty, we’re hungry. Can we come in?” Wooyoung tries, soft as ever.
“I washed the floor, it’s wet,” San explains, pointing at the floor.
Wash is not the term Wooyoung would use for the floor, but he stays quiet. If San has been moping the floors, it should be dry in a few minutes since the windows are open and there’s a bit of wind that will certainly help. However, something is off. Wooyoung knows San and it’s not that he doesn’t trust him, but San sometimes misunderstands things - with the best intentions - so Wooyoung leans to take a closer look at the floor.
It’s definitely shiny and someone would say that it's even
too
shiny. Wooyoung knows the products they keep in the house and none of them do this. At least none that work for the floor.
“Sweetheart, can you show me what you used for the floor?” Wooyoung asks, still trying to stay sweet.
The comment makes Seonghwa and Yunho glare at the floor too, like they want to see whatever Wooyoung has seen. There’s nothing - not at first glance -, but something is still strange. San has no problem moving inside the house, his instincts making the jumping from dry spot to the next very easy. It’s always beautiful to watch San, but the grace with which he moves is so amazing that leaves Wooyoung mesmerized.He could look at San for hours, for days - he’s just perfect.
“I’m so hungry,” Mingi whines now that San is out of ear-shot.
“You took him to the store, you wait for food,” Wooyoung hisses under his breath.
“He’s trying, be nice,” Yeosang chimes in.
Mingi stays quiet, lips pursed. His stomach growls and his lips turn into a pout. He really hopes San is quick. As some silent comfort, Hongjoong rubs his arm. It won’t make San quicker, but it helps knowing Hongjoong’s stomach is also growling. Thankfully, they don’t have to wait for long because San comes back with the same grace as before, his jumps almost like a gymnastics performance.
Holding up a blue bottle, San shows it to Wooyoung. He looks smug, pleased with himself. Wooyoung takes the bottle in silence. He doesn’t need to look at it to know what it is. Cloth softener.
“Oh, kitten,” Wooyoung mutters, not wanting to break San’s heart.
The hybrid swings his tail happily as any time Wooyoung uses the pet name with him. Seonghwa sighs behind them.
At least it’s not as messy as when San confuses detergent with the dishwasher soap. His slipups never ruin anything, but they spend half the evening cleaning the floors filled with bubbles and water spilt everywhere. It just requires sitting San down and explaining again what each product is for. They also label the bottles - which Yeosang makes sure to help San read in case he forgets again what they’re for.
The only thing San won’t get close to is the vacuum. It’s San’s enemy.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Wooyoung assures, hugging San while Yeosang covers San’s ears to muffle the noise.
They’re in Wooyoung’s room, as far from the vacuum as possible - Seonghwa is limiting his cleaning to the first floor so as to not get too close to San -, but San can still feel it next to him - but they haven’t even been able to get on the bed. Yeosang is sitting on it, while San and Wooyoung are on the floor. Wooyoung doesn’t seem worried about his legs despite having been kneeling for quite some time now. Yeosang can see that Wooyoung’s mind is only on San. The moment it was turned on, San changed forms and has yet to get back to his human form. Wooyoung is used to it, but he can see how having a whole panther between them is not very normal.
Thankfully, San hasn’t tried to attack the vacuum like he does with other objects, instead curling on himself on Yeosang’s laps while trying to bury his head between Yeosang’s legs. Wooyoung is behind him hugging him tightly, thumb over San’s neck to rub it softly. His nose is as good as a human’s one can get, but he knows it helps with pheromones or something like that - San has tried explaining it to him, but Wooyoung doesn’t really get it. Still, Wooyoung hopes what he’s doing helps somehow.
Seonghwa has promised to make it as quick as possible and they’ve tried to schedule vacuuming for when San is out of the house, but he’s getting better at it. Also, San is trying to face things he’s scared of. He’s only grateful that it happens with people he feels safe with.
“It’s almost finished,” Yeosang assures him, fingers playing with his ears to make him focus on something that isn’t the horrible sound of the vacuum.
San whines. He really tries to stay strong, but loud noises still manage to freeze him on the spot. No senses, no responses, no nothing.
San doesn’t want to admit all that’s behind, he’s just happy to have found people who protect him when danger gets closer. San can only grab Yeosang’s legs tighter. He’s not leaving. Yeosang is here. His tail finds Wooyoung’s neck, wrapping itself around him. Wooyoung is not leaving.
Still, San is out of control. He doesn’t know what’s happening with his body, but he’s not fully in control of it. San knows something is wrong, but he can’t tell what it is until the vacuum is turned off and his body changes without his permission. San looks as surprised as Yeosang when his fur recedes into naked skin and his paws become hands again. Usually, Wooyoung is quick to cover his nakedness, but right now he simply adjusts his hold on San to hug him better. His body goes limp, exhausted. San didn’t realize how much tension he was holding until he let go of it. San sobs, body shaking as if he was crying even when no tears are coming out of his eyes. San doesn’t feel sad - relief seems more fitting - but his body doesn’t stop shaking. San isn’t sure what’s happening, he can’t make it stop.
“We got you,” Wooyoung whispers against his nape before leaving a kiss there. “It’s okay to be scared.”
“I don’t know what’s happening,” San confesses. His voice comes out wobbly. Why does he sound like that?
Yeosang bites his lip, not wanting to make San feel worse, but the claws piercing his pants and are starting to wound his legs. Yeosang scratches the base of San’s ears, leaning to kiss his head. San shakes even more, claws going deeper and body shaking harsher. Yeosang is not an expert on hybrid trauma, but he’s been living with San for almost a month now and he can say the hybrid has some issues that maybe he doesn’t even realize, it’s not that strange to think the sound of the vacuum has made some of the trauma blossom. The body sometimes remembers more than the psyche.
It takes some time for San to calm down, but when he does, he refuses to let go of Wooyoung. Yeosang understands. Wooyoung is San’s safe place, of course San needs him now. He knows his part of the deal so he makes sure to bring a fluffy blanket and some water. Wooyoung thanks him with a smile from his place on the floor - San didn’t even manage to get to his nest the moment the vacuum turned on. However, when he passes in front of the room a few minutes laters, the only clue he has from San’s and Wooyoung’s whereabouts it’s a corner of the blanket peeking from under the door of the closet.
Inside the closet, Wooyoung quietly hums as San - who has yet to come out of his hiding place on his neck - nuzzles his nose against the base of his neck. Wooyoung is hugging San, letting the hybrid calm down at his rhythm.
“I think we could find mufflers for your ears,” Wooyoung comments absently. “I don’t know if there are mufflers for feline hybrids, but I bet we can look into other options too.”
“My ears are fine,” San complains. “It’s the machine that needs to stop.”
“We’ll beat it up,” Wooyoung promises him, smiling when he hears a soft cackle from San.
🐈🐈🐈
Even if San loves going to sleep between Wooyoung’s warm arms, he also likes the time he gets with Hongjoong every night. More so now that Yeosang also stays with him, petting his ears lazily while he reads for his own degree. Not that he doesn’t like Hongjoong, but the older doesn’t pet him and San
really
likes head pets.
“This one you’ve seen before,” Hongjoong tells him while pointing at one of the words in the paper in front of him.
San stares at the paper in silence, going in his head over all the words he has learned in the last week. His lips form a little pouty as he silently mouths the vowels, trying to taste them in his mouth.
“Look at the shape, what does it remind you of?” Yeosang helps.
Sitting on the floor in front of the table, San uses one of his fingers to trace the word trying to make his memory work.
“Tree?”
“Yes!” Hongjoong congratulates him, getting an excited movement in return. “And the word accompanying it?”
Despite not immediately recognizing the word, San has always seen them together so he doesn’t doubt before calling an answer.
“Green.”
“Yes!” Hongjoong repeats, even more excited this time.
The hand on his head moves a bit so two fingers are playing with the tip of his ear in a pet so good that San has to close his eyes, the purr in the back of his throat growing in intensity until it’s heard in the room. Yeosang freezes for a second, unsure on how to continue because they’ve never heard San purr with anyone that wasn’t Wooyoung before. It’s such an honor that he’s overcome with the need to hug the hybrid but he doesn’t want to scare him, so he decides to keep his ministrations instead until San’s soft purring manages to relax all of them.
It’s difficult for Hongjoong to have them reading after hearing him purr, he just wants to keep the sound coming so, instead, he decides they can do something else more relaxing in which San can thrive too.
They’ve found out that San loves shows and quizzes so they put one of those silly TV competitions for kids since the questions are more basic - it’s not like San knows or has much interest in politics or history, which are the main questions in adult competitions - so he can show his growing knowledge about geography, science and language. San is also big on pop culture because who thought the hybrid would be so interested in people's breakups and getting back together?
At any other moment, they would accompany each of San’s right answers with a little treat, but he’s already had dinner so instead they pet him while assuring him how good he’s doing it time and time again. San is improving at an amazing rhythm, it’s clear that he’s doing his best to learn. No one expected the hybrid to like learning so much.
When the clock strikes midnight, Hongjoong sends San to bed - the hybrid doesn’t have to wake up early like the rest of them, but he loves having breakfast with them so Hongjoong knows he will see San up early and doesn’t want him sleeping only a few hours. The hybrid, clearly in a high from being praised so much, leans extremely fast towards Hongjoong to the point he’s scared they’re going to bump heads. However, what happens is that San connects their cheeks and starts nuzzling Hongjoong with a light purr. Hongjoong stays still, letting San do his thing because he isn’t sure that
his thing
even is. Once San sees it fit, he pulls away and moves so he can repeat the same process with Yeosang. A bit more used to the close contact, Yeosang pats San’s head when he hears the purring.
Trying to be careful, they don’t comment on San’s new intimacy with them in case it offends or scares him. The hybrid looks very proud of himself - his scent all over his friends now. San is so happy that they’ve let him scent them. When he goes up to Wooyoung’s room, he does it smiling brightly.
His friends smell like him. In a little bit, everyone will smell like him. They will all go to class and every other hybrid will know these are
his
friends. The thought has San giggling.
“Is that mi lindo gatito [my pretty kitten] coming to bed?” Wooyoung asks from under the covers, eyes not even open and words slurring from being half asleep.
“Wooyoungie,” San calls just to hear the soft
‘hmm’
with a smile from Wooyoung.
San loses no time before heading to the bed, pajama already on, and sneaks under the cover until he’s running his nose up Wooyoung’s jaw, arms around Wooyoung’s waist in a loose hug. Wooyoung loses no time in intertwining their legs so there’s not a single centimeter between them. Wooyoung giggles when he feels fingers going up his back, no longer long nails that could hurt him. His hands come up to hug San’s neck and go to stroke the hairs at his nape.
“It’s so late, I was missing you already. Did you learn a lot?” Wooyoung asks in a whisper, eyes opening so he can look at San in the darkness of the room.
There are things he likes and some others he doesn’t like about being a hybrid, but San will forever be grateful about his eyes because in the lightless room, he can see every detail of Wooyoung’s face - the curve of his nose, the fullness of his lips, the sharpness of his jaw, the light of his eyes. San loves that he can always see Wooyoung. It’s a pleasure he never gets used to.
Wooyoung is the prettiest at night, when there’s no makeup covering the dark bags under his eyes or the paleness of his skin, a few freckles roaming his neck, the indent of the glasses on Wooyoung’s nose, the rosiness of his cheeks and a few wild strands over his forehead. Wooyoung is beautiful, San thanks every day that Wooyoung stopped to check on him. San is not religious, but if he was, Wooyoung would be his god.
“I had fun with Yeosangie and Hongjoong hyung,” San hums. He almost forgot that Wooyoung has spoken to him from how focused he is looking at Wooyoung. “I read so well that I got head pets.”
“Did you?” Wooyoung hums, but it’s a sleepy tone that makes his voice deeper. It sends goosebumps down San’s back with how it rumbles against his chest. His fur stands on point at the base of his tail, stomach knotting in a pleasant way. Wooyoung excites him in ways he can’t put into words. San wants to keep talking so Wooyoung uses that voice some more.
The idea disappears quickly because Wooyoung sneaks a hand San’s shirt and intertwines his fingers between the black locks at San’s nape, scratching softly there. Wooyoung can feel the energy oozing off San and it’s late, so Wooyoung is using all the tricks he has up his sleeve to get him to sleep. It works like a charm because San becomes putty under his ministrations.
“
Oh
,” San mutters, a purr instantly filling their little blanket fortress.
Maybe Wooyoung has been a bit shady because he
maybe
has omitted some information because he wasn’t sure how San would take it. San has been doing things that scare him during the past week or so, but maybe it’s too soon for this. Wooyoung won’t know until he tries.
“Sweetheart,” Wooyoung starts, “tomorrow a few friends are coming over. You don’t have to meet them if you don’t want to, but they’re going to be here for a few hours.”
San stays silent. Thinking. Wooyoung knows when to press and when to give San space. This is a big step so Wooyoung lets San think on this, hand still working on San’s hair. The tail is wrapped around his arm so San isn’t angry, but he’s very silent. After a minute in silence, he finally speaks.
“They’re coming to the house? To your room?”
“We can stay in the living room and you can stay here if you want. They’re very friendly in case you want to come out, I bet you would be great friends.”
That seems to ease San, who nods before melting under Wooyoung’s hands again.
“Don’t want them near the nest, I don’t want their scents here.”
“Okay,” Wooyoung agrees instantly.
He would never do anything that makes San uncomfortable. Wooyoung loves that San is able to establish boundaries for himself, it’s the least he deserves. San also likes it. it’s new for him to have things he wants to protect and be able to do it without having to fight anyone before, but Wooyoung makes a point of always letting him know that he can refuse things and no one will get angry with him.
Once things have been talked about, San has no problem hugging Wooyoung tighter until he falls asleep. When he wakes up, the bed is empty, but there’s a note on the pillow. San stretches, letting a happy purr when his nose catches a bit of Wooyoung’s scent still surrounding him. San loves waking up and still feel Wooyoung. This may not be his nest, but still feels so safe. The note is a bit wrinkled from holding it too tight, but San doesn’t care. Wooyoung’s writing is very pretty, he likes looking at it even when the words don’t make much sense.
Once San sees it fit - after rolling around the bed for a few more minutes, drowning himself in the smells of the room, of Wooyoung, of
them
-, he gets up and makes his way downstairs to get some breakfast.
“Good morning,” Yunho greets with a smile. He’s trying to make pancakes and failing miserably. The plate on his side has a tower of ugly-looking pancakes. They’re not burnt, but they don’t look tasty either. San chooses to take the rest of kimchi fried rice from the fridge instead.
The microwave has very easy functions so San has no problem understanding which buttons he has to press to heat his food. He doesn’t like technological things, but this is the least scary one. The microwave heats food and has a little light that lets San watch it - it’s as innocent as it comes. Yunho observes him without commenting how San doesn’t take from his - very delicious - breakfast.
“Can you help me with this?” San asks, handing the note to Yunho.
Yunho doesn’t read it for him, instead standing behind him and helping him with the words until San manages to read the note for himself. He’s getting so much better. It’s even better when Yunho scratches his ear - and stills a bit of his breakfast, but San doesn’t care about that part.
We’ll be here by midday. Make the bed and have clothes on. Love you, kitten.
San gets so giddy when Wooyoung says he loves him. It happens every night - or even a few times a day -, and still San could explode from happiness. Folding the note neatly, San puts it in the pocket of his hoodie. He doesn’t want to lose it.
The morning passes without any complications. San makes the bed and makes sure his hair is groomed. They have bought something that makes his hair really shiny. San isn’t sure what is in the bottle, but it smells good so he’s not going to start questioning what Wooyoung buys him. San isn’t sure he wants to meet Wooyoung’s friends, but he still wants to be presentable in case he goes downstairs. Feeling his insides twisting at the idea of more people coming to the house. More scents, more people walking around, more voices - San doesn’t like it. It makes his skin crawl.
He’s been suppressing his own instincts, making himself as harmless and as cute as possible so no one gets scared, but San knows what his body is begging him for. San is not made for hiding and nesting, he’s a panther, he’s made to attack, to tear to pieces, to claw, to
fight
. The idea of someone entering the house - his territory - as a growl stuck on the back of his throat and his nails aching to bury themselves in flesh. San has beaten people for less.
But that was outside. With hybrids. Hybrids have other rules and they have other ways to respond. Not even hybrids, but strays like him. San won’t ever be a housecat or a puppy already born in a house. No, San is a
panther
, he’s a predator, he’s a wild animal. So many cages can’t make him forget what his nature is, but Wooyoung with his sweet smiles has been the only one to tame him yet.
San wants to change. Not completely, but he wants to stop being a wild animal.
Hongjoong and Yeosang are helping with his reading, and Seonghwa with his utensils so not only now he can use chopsticks, but also he is able to hold a pen which is definitely helping with his writing. San is not stupid, he knows he’s not at the level of people his age, but he’s not completely uncultured either.
Sometimes San gets sad that he can’t share his knowledge with the others, but it’s not like they need to know how to clean bones so there’s no meat left in them or how to boil the same vegetables over and over again to get some vitamins out of them when there’s nothing to eat. San’s knowledge is related to hunger and to violence because that’s most of what he’s lived. He’s known kindness and altruism, but those instances were few and far in between. San doesn’t know what he offers to Wooyoung - or to anyone in the house, really -, but he doesn’t want to leave.
No matter how scary it is and how territorial he’s getting by the second, San will be the perfect human.
That’s it until the door opens and San can hear people entering the house,