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Prologue 
 
Levi sat on the edge of the saggy bed and pulled on his socks.  His skin was still damp from his very long shower—one of his only indulgences—and the sock stuck to his skin.  Tugging, he got it free.

He double checked his only luggage, a duffle bag, and picked it up.  He crossed to the door, making sure the room key was on the dresser and looked down at the bed.  The sheets were wrinkled and askew and a brassy blonde woman slept, face down and snoring lightly, on the far side.

Without any regrets, Levi picked up the bottle of Xanax off of the bedside table.  There were forty in the bottle.  Technically, he’d fucked her for ten but, hey, you leave your stash out on the table …  besides she had injected heroin afterward and fallen asleep.  She didn’t need the Xanax, she had smack.

He pocketed the two condoms that were left on the dresser, they’d only used one of three, and slipped out the door.

Levi tossed his duffle into his car, an 80s-something brown Impala, and checked his inventory in the trunk.  All good.  He inhaled deeply.  It was getting chilly at night.  Autumn was almost there.

He pulled out of the parking lot and merged onto Route 40, heading west.
 
Chapter 1 -

Levi never did listen to the radio much.  He had no particular taste in music but between his uncle Kenny and frequenting truck stops, country had kind of grown on him.  He could listen to classic country and stuff like that but he avoided the whole “patriotic” god, guns, and ‘murica bullshit.

Right then he was listening to

Independence Day

by Martina McBride—he tended to prefer women country singers—with the radio down low.  He checked his map and took the next exit off the highway, humming along and tapping his fingers on the wheel.
 
As he turned north he noted a clean-looking motel (the Town and Country) sandwiched between the ubiquitous McDonald’s and the Waffle House.  He hadn’t had a sit-down meal in a few stops.  He might get a plate of greasy-good bad-for-you food from the Waffle House.  Definitely a waffle.  Maybe some sausage.
 
He was going over the Waffle House options in his head (he’d long since memorized the menu) when the business he was looking for loomed up on the right.  Johnstone’s Wire and Cable had a huge warehouse and shop combination and a tiny front office with an equally small parking area.  Levi pulled into a spot.  The barn red warehouse slash shop stretched out away from him.  He strolled to the office.
 
“Why Mr. Ackerman!  I didn’t expect you today!”

“Hey, gorgeous.  How’ve you been?”

The woman, in her fifties, with a grandbaby last time Levi had heard, blushed and patted her hair.  “You terrible flirt!  You never change do you?”

Levi, who had done business with this company for years, grinned and slouched against the counter, one leg cocked, sticking out his rather fine ass for the office ladies.  Soon he was surrounded by the three women who worked in the front office.  He schmoozed and complimented and flirted until finally the women sorrowfully returned to their desks and the manager was notified that he was there.
 
The manager gestured for Levi to follow him and they walked into the vast warehouse and shop area.  The place was mostly open with various machines rumbling on either side of a wide main aisle and stacks and stacks of enormous rolls of wire ready to be shipped out.  The massive building seemed to stretch out forever.  The supervisor talked as they walked raising his voice when they skirted around huge, noisy machines.  Occasionally a truck or a forklift would rumble by.  Levi had no idea why this supervisor took him into the warehouse area to talk.  It would have been quieter and quicker in the office and the office ladies would have fetched Levi coke and muffins.  He was getting peckish.

The manager, who was newly promoted, kept pointing out machines or wire or vehicles and Levi realized that he was proud of his workplace and was trying to show it off.  Levi could respect that.  He tried to listen attentively.  Finally the convo got to uniforms.

“I was thinking,” Levi said, “about the green uniforms.  Your logo is red and your building is red, even your sign is red.  Your uniforms should be as well, doncha think?  Pull the whole place together? We’ve got some really slick new ones that are black with red down the side panels and a red collar.”

The man considered it.  “That would be nice but that means replacing all of our uniforms and that’s a big chunk of change.”

“Well, you’ll get a deep discount just for the numbers and, of course, because you’re one of our most valued customers.”

As they walked back toward the office, Levi managed to convince the manager to buy all new uniforms in red.  Back in the front, they stepped into the manager’s private office and Levi whipped out the paperwork to seal the deal on the uniforms.
 
Driving away from the wire plant and heading down the dusty road toward Route 40,  Levi hurried toward the Town and Country motel.  It was early but he felt like he deserved a little something.  He stopped at a liquor store and bought a fifth of vodka and popped open the bottle of Xanax as he drove, swallowing three.

He hummed along to Garth Brooks’s

The Thunder Rolls

and stepped on it.  He didn’t want to be driving when the Xanax kicked in.
 
When Levi got to the motel, he quickly checked in and threw his duffle bag onto the bed closest to the door.  He slopped vodka into one of the complimentary water glasses that had been wrapped in paper to keep them sanitary.  He snorted at that.  The glasses were only as clean as the last person who had handled them.

He took a deep swallow of the clear liquor and grimaced.  His head suddenly spun and he tacked haltingly to the bed.  He relaxed back against the headboard with a sigh, the Xanax trickling through his blood.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Levi woke late, his mouth feeling like it was stuffed with cotton, and his head aching.  He blinked his gritty eyes.  This was no surprise, he felt like this every time he used.

He stumbled out of bed and toward the bathroom, clearing his throat a few times.  He hocked a loogie into the toilet and turned on the shower, flushing the toilet with his free hand.

Stripping off his boxers, he scratched idly at his junk while the water heated up to the fierce temperature that he required.
 
Showered, shaved, and dressed Levi felt a bit more put together as he headed for the Waffle House.  Scrambling down the grassy bank between the motel and the diner, Levi could already smell the greasy intoxicating scent of food on the restaurant’s grills.

Inside it was warm and redolent of waffles and coffee, the sound of the meats and hashbrowns sizzling on the grill in the background.  There was a low murmur of voices and the clink of utensils on plates along with the strains of some country song Levi didn’t know from the jukebox.

Despite it being so early the place was almost full and Levi commandeered the last seat at the counter.  As he waited for the waitress, he looked around.  At one of the booths were two young women, one clearly older than the other.  The older one had a trashy look about her but the younger was fresh-faced and pretty.  Unfortunately, she looked like she was sixteen.  She saw Levi looking and smiled.  Levi turned away.  No jailbait for him, thank you.

Levi ordered a waffle, cheesy grits, and sausage.  He cut his waffle with precision, washing down each perfect piece with a swig of coffee.

As he was paying, he glanced at the two women in the booth.  The older one scowled at him and Levi suddenly felt like it was deserved.  He’d thought her ‘trashy’ which was mean.  What did she think of him?  ‘Short, boring fuck’ sprang to mind.  Levi snorted.  You reap what you sow.

Levi had quite the drive ahead of him going to his next stop.  He left North Carolina and crossed into Tennessee.

He drove as many hours as he could without having to piss and by the time he did it was about lunchtime.  He picked a likely truck stop and pulled in.  Gassing up his car first, he parked and walked toward the toilets, coming out drying his hands.
 
He saw the young man in the parking lot of the truck stop, through the large windows in the front of the convenience store part.  He was a beautiful young thing, long and lean and chestnut-haired with eyes like aquamarines.

Levi looked quickly, appreciating the man, and then averted his gaze.  He was well aware that young men and women hung around truck stops, trading sex for drugs, food, and rides.

He went on into the diner.  Levi never propositioned people.  He let them come to him.

Levi did indulge himself every now and then.  He would love to say that he hadn’t availed himself of the young men and women who had approached him in the parking lot of a random truck stop, but he couldn’t.
 
There was a battered neon sign above the main truckstop building that said “Ruby’s”  It flashed intermittently and the apostrophe and the ‘y’ occasionally would flicker out, spelling the provocative “Rub s”.  The air inside the truckstop diner was warm and heady with the smell of greasy food.  The low background noise consisted of murmuring voices and the clink of cutlery on ceramic plates.  Much like the Waffle House was. The familiarity was somehow soothing.

Levi, who had a terrible sweet tooth, had ordered eggs and a stack of pancakes.  At the last second, he added some bacon.  Sipping his coffee, his mind wandered to the gorgeous young man he’d seen.  Was he a traveler like him or just a tourist?

Levi wondered idly if he was gay.

The handsome young man was in the lobby when Levi finished eating.  All he had was a duffle bag and a backpack.  Hitching then.  He clearly didn’t have a car.

He was so attractive that Levi couldn’t help but have another long look and the kid gave him a smile.  Levi quickly turned away, ignoring him.
 
Levi walked confidently into the parking lot, the gravel crunching under his feet.  He beelined for the big trucks.  As he approached, three men came from around their respective trucks.  Levi was small and pretty, truckers assumed he was a twink who wanted to trade his asshole for a ride or drugs or food.

Levi, tough and muscular underneath his nondescript clothes also carried two knives.  He was no twink and he had no intention of giving away his ass.  He had been abused enough as a young man.

He stopped at the first guy,  fat white guy with a Texas ball cap on that looked as if it was held together entirely by the grease off of his skin.  Levi shuddered and stopped a few feet away.

“No fucking,” Levi growled. “I’m looking for drugs.  Whatcha got?”

“What

you

got?”

Levi fanned out a stack of twenties.

“Shit.  I got weed, man, and blow.”

Levi turned away. “Not interested.” He approached the next guy, a handsome Latino.  “No fucking—”

“I heard, amigo.  It’s a shame.”

“What do you have?”

“Fentanyl, meth.”

“Got any Xanax?”

“Into benzos, eh?  No Xanax but I got Valium and Klonopin”

The temperature had dropped sharply when the sun went down and when Levi left his motel room to get some ice, he saw the hitchhiker.  Clad only in a shirt, jeans and a hoodie he was crouched down, leaned against the wall, next to the ice machine, shivering.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?”

The man looked up, clearly frightened.  “Please don’t tell the motel!”

“I’m not telling anybody.  Have you been sleeping rough?”

The tousled brown mop nodded.  “Then it got cold.”

Levi studied the kid who was shivering so hard his elbows struck the concrete wall in a stuttering tattoo.  As he watched, the man’s teeth started chattering.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“With me, to my room.  Come on.”

“What are you going to do?” the man asked in a small voice.

Levi sighed and shook his head.  “Each one of the rooms has two beds.  I can’t let you stay out here in the cold when I have an empty bed.”

Eren blushed fiercely at the unintentional innuendo and shrugged.  He wondered if he was making a mistake, trusting a man he didn’t know.  Hell,

he could rape him in the night, or kill him.  Eren surreptitiously eyed Levi as they walked.  He was incredibly handsome.  He was short but looked very powerful under his clothes.  Eren was honestly unsure if he could fight him off.  His mind strayed to more romantic thoughts of Levi crawling into his bed and fucking him.  Holding him down, spreading his asscheeks.  His dick twitched unhelpfully and he swallowed hard.

“You comin’?”

“What?”

“Are you using the room or not?” Levi held the door open.

The room was blissfully warm and the young man stood by the heater for a few minutes just defrosting.
 
Levi flopped into the bed closest to the door and picked up the television tuner.  “Mind if I watch?”

“Watch what?!”

Levi gestured with the remote.  “The TV.  You’re a jumpy thing, aren't you?”

“Uhh … no, I guess you can watch.  It’s not porn is it?”

Levi gave him a withering look.  “No, I’m not jerkin’ my dick in front of you.  There’s plenty of cute guys who I’d do it for but I just met you.”

Eren giggled nervously.

Levi turned back to the television with a smirk.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

They parted ways the next day, in the early morning.  The young man yawned as Levi explained. “No offense kid, but I gotta work and I can’t have some guy hanging out in my car while I’m at my job.”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a rep for a uniform company.”

“Hey, that’s cool.  I’ve never heard of that.”

“It’s nothing amazing.  I’m just a salesman.  I mostly go around to businesses where we already sold them uniforms and check to see if they need any new sizes and try to convince them that they need a new style or a new color.”

The young man looked around the windy parking lot with a little trepidation.  He liked being with Levi.  It was nice having someone to talk to and Levi made him feel safe.

“Well, thanks for the ride and the room.”

“Anytime, kid.” Levi turned away.

“I was traveling with this other salesman,” The young man blurted.  He picked at the frayed strap of his backpack.  “He was really nice but turns out he wanted to … he thought I …”

The young man blushed and stared at the dusty ground.  “You never asked me for anything.  Howcome?”

“I’m not that desperate,” Levi said.  The young man’s chin shot up.

“Not saying anything against you, kid, you're a real treat on the eyes, but I have all the pussy and ass I want.” Levi shrugged.  “I make good money, so food and gas aren’t a problem.”  Levi reached awkwardly forward and tugged on the kid’s sleeve. “Besides, you seem nice and I would never take advantage.”

The young man blushed at that and wished again that he could somehow go with Levi.
 
Levi’s next stop, East Tennessee Large Equipment Repair, was right off of Route 40 and was a busy place.  It didn’t have the clean, upstanding look of the wire plant.  It was dirty and muddy and the huge earth-moving equipment had gouged deep ruts in the parking lot.  Levi bumped the Impala over the furrows and nosed up to the doors of the office which was a non-descript trailer; just a door and two filthy windows.

East Tennesee Large Equipment Repair had exactly one staff member; a blowsy middle-aged woman with badly dyed brassy blond hair.  She smoked continuously, including in the tiny trailer.  Levi took a deep breath and jogged up the rickety wooden steps that were coated with mud from a hundred workers’ boots.

“Miz Shirly!” Levi cried upon entering.  The woman looked up, reminding Levi so strongly of Roz in Monsters Inc. that he had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

“Levi Ackerman.  Is it time for a visit already?”

“It’s been six months.”

Shirly snorted at that and tapped the ash off of her cigarette, inserting it back into her mouth.  There was no flirting with this one, Shirly was impervious to it.  It was rumored that she was the office fling of the owner once upon a time when she was young and he was middle-aged and married.

Supposedly, he left his wife and young family and married her.  Now the firm was stuck with her.

She sifted through some papers on her desk.  “Well, I don’t know where Bill is …”

“Could you call him for me?  On the walkie talkie?”

Shirly scowled.
 
Bill was the operations manager, a put-upon-looking, prematurely balding man who had a habitual harassed expression.  He was a pushover, though.

Shirly finally conceded and picked up the walkie from it’s charger.  She turned away from Levi and spoke lowly into the thing as if protecting state secrets.
 
“Bill’s on his way,” Shirly sniffed, drawing on her cigarette and looking narrowly at Levi through the smoke.  Levi, used to the routine, took a seat on the only chair in the room save for Shirly’s ragged desk chair.  The single seat was hard plastic and Levi immediately shifted uncomfortably.  “On his way” usually meant a good half hour.  Levi sighed under his breath.  There were no magazines, no drink machine, nothing to hold Levi’s interest.  He suddenly wished he could take a Xanax.  Then he could doze a bit until Bill got his shit together.

His thoughts drifted to the young man who had shared his motel room.  He was extremely handsome and really sweet in a bumbling labrador puppy sort of way.  Levi hadn’t thought to ask his name either.  Probably for the best.

He was fantasizing about the cute young man when Bill appeared, looking as if Levi was a supreme pain in his ass.  Levi smiled winningly and stood.  Time to make some sales.
 
Levi sang softly (and off-key) to Dolly Parton’s

Jolene

as he headed west along Route 40.  East Tennessee Large Equipment Repair had been a gold mine.  Levi pointed out a few drivers (who go out and pick up and deliver the big earth movers) whose plain blue coveralls were fraying at the sleeves and collars.  “Do you want owners seeing your guys like this?  What would they think of the business if they saw this?”

Bill had acquiesced almost immediately, ordering nothing fancy but more plain blue coveralls.  Oh, well. He didn’t have to be fashionable so long as he bought more uniforms.
 
He was trying to look over the order forms and make sure he got all the names that were to be embroidered on the coveralls.  Unfortunately, he was driving as well and kept running off the road.  Finally, he tossed the forms and their clipboard in the back and began hunting for a gas station.

A truck stop came up on the left; Sparky’s, one that he’d stopped at many times.  It had a cheap-ass motel close by but Levi didn’t fret.  There was a nice Motel 6 just down the Route at the next exit.
 
He went into the diner and got a cheeseburger basket to go, placing it carefully on the passenger’s side of the front seat.  He got in the car and a mile down the road, realised that he had to piss.

“Well, fuck.”

He hated truck stop restrooms.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

There were two sets of restrooms at this truck stop.  One set was spacious and attached to the diner slash store.  The other held showers and another set of restrooms.  It was located out past the diesel pumps in the middle of the parking lot.  There was another cashier out there in a little kiosk to take the trucker’s money and schedule the showers.  They also sold tobacco, drinks, candy, gum, and titty magazines for those in a hurry.

Levi parked out there in the few car spaces next to the cashier’s car.  The huge lot next to the main building was packed full.

Levi bought himself a Coke, a Snickers, and some smokes and headed for his car, setting them inside.  He turned for the restrooms.  Glancing around he beelined for the women’s room.  The women’s room got a lot less traffic than the men’s and was subsequently cleaner.  The men’s rooms at truckstops were vomit-inducingly filthy.  Levi used to use the men’s until the day he found pubic hair on the hand soap dispenser.  Never again.

He pushed the door.  Abruptly it was snatched open, startling him, and a fat trucker came out zipping up his trousers.  Without looking at Levi at all, he hurried off.

“Huh, great.  The swine are using the women’s now,” he muttered.  He pressed the door again.  It opened partway and stopped.

Was there somebody else in there?  Were people fucking in the johns now?

“Fuck.  Hello?  I need to piss.”

Faintly, so faint that Levi was not sure he’d heard it, there was a watery sob.

“Shit.”  Levi pushed again, opening the door as wide as it would go, and ducked his head around it to look in.

Someone was sprawled on the floor between the door and the toilet.  It was the hitchhiker.  He was crying.

Levi was a pretty well-built guy despite being so short, with a muscular chest and broad shoulders for his size.  There was no way he was getting through the crack in the door.

“Kid!  Hey, kid!”

The young man startled and stared up at him like a wild animal.

“Get up so I can come in.  What happened?”

The kid scrambled up and Levi took him in sadly.  He thought he knew what had happened.  The young man’s wild brown hair was a nightmare and one eye and that side of his jaw were bruised.  His trousers were unbelted and unzipped and halfway down his thighs. He held them up with one hand.

Levi stepped into the tiny room, locked the door behind himself, and turned to the man.  He fumblingly was trying to hoist and zip up his trousers.

“Are you hurt?” Levi asked gently.

Finally getting his pants zipped, the young man stumbled to the sink, lifting handful after handful of water to his mouth, swishing it around, then spitting it out.  Levi was carefully looking for blood on the kid or on the floor.  There was a smear of it on the seat of the young man’s trousers and tiny drops on the floor..

“Were you … did he … ?”

The young man began crying again in huge ugly sobs. “He—he—put his goddamned dick in my mouth!  Then he was going to … you know …”

“You can say it.  Rape you.”

“ … but he had just gotten it in and you interrupted him!  It hurt so bad!”

Levi felt good that he’d thwarted the rapist.  “Are you sure you’re not keeping something from me because you’re embarrassed?  Did he put the whole thing in?  Did he actually fuck you?”

“N-no.  He was just starting when you came in.”

“Thank goodness.  Move aside so I can piss and we’ll leave this shithole.”
 
Levi retrieved the young man’s duffle and backpack and walked calmly to his car, his hand on the young man’s elbow, guiding him.  The kid didn’t resist when Levi opened the car door and ushered him in.  Considering he had just been brutalized it seemed odd.  Levi knew it was shock setting in.
 
Levi drove to the nearby shitty motel and booked a room.  The young man was clearly in pain at this point and was battling tears, hunched in the passenger side front seat.

Levi hurried out of the office and opened the passenger's side door.  The young man stiffened up.  “Clerk says the shower doesn’t work which is just fucking great.”

“Wh-why are we here?  What are you going to do?”

Levi sighed.  “I’m going to take care of you, kid.  No funny stuff.”

“It really hurts.”

“I know.  C’mon let's get inside.”

Levi led the way, helping the young man along.  They went in the room and Levi shut and locked the door.

“Take off your trousers and underpants.”

“W-what?”

“Your clothes.  They have blood on them.”

“Blood?!”  the kid struggled out of his trousers and moaned at the blood stain on the seat.  Levi could see where the blood had run down his legs.  The young man hesitated taking off his boxers.

“What?  You don’t want me to see your dick?  I

have

seen dicks before, you know.  Oh!  Wait!  I have one myself!  Now shed ‘em.  I have to soak those blood stains so they won’t set.”

The young man turned away and slowly pulled off his underpants and Levi gathered everything up.  In the bathroom, in the tub, Levi ran cold water and threw the clothes in to soak.  “What’s your name, anyway?  I never asked. “

“E-eren.”

“Eren.  I’m Levi.  Come in here.”

Eren came shyly in, his hands cupped over his junk.

Levi ran warm water into the sink and got down the two washcloths.  “Bend over the counter.”

“W-what?”

“Kid if I was gonna jump you, I’d have done it before now.  I’m not going to hurt you—I hope—just clean you up.”

Eren stiffly put both hands on the counter and leaned slightly forward.  Levi reached around him to dip a cloth in the warm water, then he crouched down behind Eren.

“You’ll have to lean farther than that.  Put your elbows on the counter.”

“This makes me very uncomfortable!”

“I’m sure it does, but your asshole is bleeding and you have blood all down your legs.”

Eren exhaled in a whine and went down on his elbows.  Levi gently began wiping at his skin.

“Relax, don’t tense up.  I need to get in there and see how bad the damage is.”

“You don’t mind touching another guy’s butthole?  Are you gay?”

“I’m bi and I

eat

assholes on occasion.  How about you?”

“Do I touch other guys or … uh …?”

“Either.  Are you gay, straight, enby?”

“I’m gay.” Eren said quietly  “What’s enby?”

Levi grunted as he bent down to wipe Eren’s ankles.  The kid had gorgeous golden tan skin and long legs and hearing that he was gay sent a tiny little tingle down his spine that he had to tamp down.

“NB.  Non-binary.  I’m gonna go in between your cheeks okay?  I know you’re sore so let me know immediately if I hurt you.”

“O-okay.” Eren had relaxed noticeably.  Levi was so careful and gentle that it prompted him to untense.

“Yep, you’ve got a tear here.”

“Will it …?  Will I …?”

“Spit it out kid.”

“Will I …oww!”

“Sorry.”

“Will I be able to poop okay?  Will I start pooping on myself?”

“You’re gay and you don’t understand that the anus is a muscle?  It will heal and be normal.  Also, who says poop?  How the fuck old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Women push whole entire baby humans out of their cooch and it snaps back.  Assholes are the same.  Minus the baby human.”

“Ow!  Ow, ow, ow!”

“Sorry.  I’m done.  I have some wipes.  When you need to shit, very gently use the wipes to clean.  Keep that tear as clean as possible.”
 
There was only one bed and Levi commandeered a side and began Idly scrolling through the TV channels.  He’d brought a small cooler full of beer and he retrieved one now.

“Beer?”

Eren, who had pulled on a fresh set of underpants was standing shyly between the bathroom and the bed.  “Where will I sleep?  Can I sleep here tonight?”

“Of course.  You can have that half of the bed.”  Levi handed him a beer and four ibuprofen.

“Take those and drink up.  It’ll help you relax.”

Eren did as he was told.  He still hesitated about getting in the bed.

Levi clicked through channels and finally seemed to realize that Eren was still standing there with an empty beer bottle.

“You still scared I’m gonna jump you?”

Eren nodded sheepishly.

“We

have

shared a room before.  I could overpower you in a second.  If I wanted to I could’ve pushed your head into your pillow and fucked your ass any time I wanted.”

Eren’s gaze wandered over Levi’s taut, hard body.  He had a sleeve of blackwork down his left arm and the name “Kuchel” in old English script under his left collarbone.  He looked dangerous.

“Have you ever raped anyone?” Eren whispered.

Levi choked on his beer.  “What?!  Jesus, no!  I know I’m short and funny looking but I

can

convince people to let me fuck them!”

Eren hesitantly crept to the bed and slid in, as far away from Levi as possible.  Levi handed him another beer and carried on flipping through channels.

Eren didn’t think Levi was funny looking at all.  He thought he was one of the hottest men he’d ever seen.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next morning Levi ducked out to get them some McDonald’s and returned to Eren hobbling around like an old man.

“You need to just sit still.”

“It hurts too bad to sit!”

Levi handed him four ibuprofen and the last beer.

“It’s seven o'clock in the morning.”

“It’ll help you relax!”

Eren hesitated then dutifully took the pills and drank the beer.

Levi began packing his stuff.

“So how did you get tangled up with that trucker?  Did he just surprise you in the restroom?”

“I asked him for a lift.”

“Ahh.  Have you never heard of the old saying ‘gas, grass, or ass’?”  Eren looked confused.  Levi sighed.  “If you don’t have money or weed then they expect to get to fuck you.”  Eren paled and Levi wondered if he was gay at all.

“I’d never … I’d never actually …”

“You were a fucking virgin?!”

Eren bit his lip and looked at Levi from under his lashes.

“And quit that shit!  There are guys here that would rape you just to get a virgin ass!”

“Does it always hurt?” Eren asked, voice small. “When you’re a … when you’ve never …”

“When you get raped it hurts like a sonovabitch and you can’t walk straight or sit down for days.”

“Howcome you know so much?”

Levi gave him a dark look and he recoiled.  “Because I was raped when I was thirteen.”

“Jesus …”  The young man fidgeted and finally burst out: “Then I don’t know how anyone does it at all, if it hurts!”

“Calm down, kid.  It doesn’t hurt if the top does it right.  Slow and careful and plenty of lube are the keys.  Motherfuckers who rape don’t give a shit about that stuff.” Levi chewed his lip and fiddled with a loose strap on his duffle bag. “Remember that rape is not an act of sex it’s an act of

violence

that happens to include sex.”

Levi, recalling his own childhood trauma, was stuffing his clothes into his duffle with unnecessary violence.  Eren stayed quiet and just watched, chewing his chapped lips.

“Are you still heading west?” he asked after a few minutes.

“Yep.” Levi hunted around the bed for a missing sock.  “Hah!  There you are.”

“Can I … can I hitch a ride?”

Levi looked slowly up at him.

Eren held up both hands, palms out in supplication.  “Just to the next truck stop or gas station!”

Levi’s mind raced and he felt suddenly panicky.  He couldn’t have a cohort.  When would he take his Xanax?  He

needed

it.  To relax of course.

Also, he knew that he was very attracted to the young man.  It was distracting.  So when would he use?  He might be able to slip the pills in but he occasionally did a bump or two of coke.  How would he get away with that?  And blow made him horny.  Could he use then sleep in the same bed as Eren without making a move?  Once his ass healed, of course.
 
Eren clearly sensed that Levi was not just reticent but distressed with the concept.  He didn’t know why, but it upset him.  He hadn’t meant to antagonize Levi.
 
Levi turned abruptly and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind himself.  His heart was about to beat out of his chest.  Eren didn’t have to ride with him forever.  He could keep off the drugs till they hit another big stop, couldn’t he?  He didn’t want Eren, sweet, gentle Eren, to look down on him.  He was so gorgeous and so pure and innocent.  Levi felt like a worthless human being next to him, just a runty junkie and a thief.

Levi stared at himself in the mirror.  He had never thought about himself that way.

What had come over him?  Did it have to do with Eren?

He had never thought too much about the drugs and the sex and the petty theft.

Levi studied his reflection.  His face was thin, had gotten thinner since the first of the year.  He still had a gym membership at a national chain and he still worked out wherever he was but he was losing weight.  His muscles stood out in sharp relief under his pale skin.  He knew it was the drugs.

“Great,” he told his reflection, “short, small dicked, and skinny.  I’m a fucking freak.”

There was a hesitant tap on the door.  “Levi?  Are you okay?  Who are you talking to?”

Levi took a deep breath and opened the door.  “Just myself kid.  You about ready to go?”

“Go?“ Eren said faintly.  He had packed up his meagre belongings in his backpack and his duffle and had them both slung onto his shoulders.

Levi crossed to the bed and hauled at his own duffle bag, zipping it up.  “Yep, go.  We get to see the wonder that is west Tennessee.”  He said with as little sarcasm as he could muster.  Levi looked over at Eren and was transfixed.  The kid’s happy, grateful smile, teal eyes shining, was all he needed to be sure of his decision.
 
They headed west on Route 40 and the cars started to get thicker.

Soon, traffic slowed; then stopped.  They were at a standstill.  Levi figured there was a bad accident and sure enough, apparently, other drivers thought so too.  People were turning their cars off to save gas.

Levi shut the Impala off and got out.  Eren hesitantly followed.  Levi pulled himself up and roosted on the hood, lighting a cigarette.  He offered one to Eren who wrinkled his nose and shook his head.  He lit his and stared off into the warmer evening.

Eren stood close by, admiring Levi’s profile, his muscular forearms as he perched like a spider on the hood of the car.

Levi hadn’t had his Xanax and his hand holding his cig trembled slightly.  He willed it to stop.  He eventually turned to Eren who was leaned on the Impala’s quarterpanel.
 
“So why are you out here on the road?”  Levi took a deep drag on his cigarette.

Eren shrugged.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it kid—”

“My mom died of cancer three months ago,” Eren choked out.

“Jesus, kid, I’m sorry.  I don’t have a mom either.  It fucking sucks.”

“Wha-what happened to your mom?”

“I’m not sure.  She died when I was four.  I think it was pneumonia.  There was a lot of coughing.  She just wasted away and coughed herself to death.”

Eren looked horrified.

“So did your mom not leave you any money?” Levi asked.

Eren got a look on his face that would have melted metal.  “It all went to my ‘dad’”  He used finger quotes.  “He never went to the hospital at all.  I dropped out of college and went to see her every day.  When she died, my dad married his girlfriend the next week.  Her name is Taylor and she’s 23 and pregnant.”

“Fuck!

You’re

23!  How old is your dad?”

“51.”

“That’s just sick.”  Levi shook his head, his black hair brushing over his forehead.  “So you ran away?”

“I told him that I would not play house with that bitch there and he cut me off without a cent.”

“Pussy is a helluva draw to some old men.  Get ‘em over 40 or so and they go crazy and start hanging out around high schools.”

“It’s disgusting,” Eren said darkly.

“Agreed.  Good pussy is good pussy.  Young doesn't equal better.  There’s a misogynistic mystique to it.  They love how a young girl on their arm looks.  They want other misogynistic fucks to envy them.”

Eren was overcome with gratefulness.  Levi understood.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

They stopped at a motel right at dusk and Levi let them into their room.  Eren threw his duffle and his backpack onto the second bed,  “I’m gonna take a long hot shower, if you don’t mind.”

Levi gestured with one of the beers he had bought.  “Knock yourself out.”
 
After a few moments, Levi looked at the door of the bathroom and he couldn’t help imagining Eren naked, under the spray.  His cock hardened.

Shit, could he rub one out while the kid was in the shower?  Should he?

It made him feel incredibly guilty just thinking things like that about Eren.  Fuck, the kid was 23 and was just assaulted!

But he was so gorgeous and so sweet.

Levi stroked his cock through his underpants and groaned.  His hard-on was at full attention.  He looked desperately at the door.  He needed to get ice for his cooler but couldn’t go out like this.  He could sit in his car and jerk off.  It wouldn’t be the first time.

Finally, lust took over.  He got up, crept over to the dresser, and got an extra towel, spreading it out over his belly.  He gripped his cock firmly and drizzled lube that he’d fished out of his bag.  He started up a determined rhythm, letting his breath out slowly as he got into the zone.
 
Meanwhile, Eren, in the shower, came explosively, splattering the wall with cum.  He had his lower lip gripped in his teeth to keep himself quiet.  Jeez, how could he be jerking off to the guy who was kind enough to give him a ride?  What kind of person had he become?  He sighed, angling the showerhead to rinse the sticky residue off the wall.  A lonely person, that’s what.
 
Levi came just as the shower ran out of hot water and Eren reluctantly turned it off.  He slapped his free hand over his mouth to muffle any guilty sounds and tried to aim his release at the towel.

Levi cleaned meticulously and when Eren appeared he slipped into the bathroom, tossed the towel into the laundry hamper, and washed his hands.

“Goin’ to get ice,” he muttered and scuttled out the door.

The motel was right next to a small restaurant called Stella’s and they crossed over to it to get dinner.  Seating themselves, they waited for their waitress and perused the menu.  Eren squirmed.

“What’s up with you?”

“I just don’t have much money left.  I was just going to get a pack of crackers and a Coke.”

Levi sighed and shook his head.  “Seriously?  And how far did you think you’d make it on crackers out of a vending machine?”

Eren shrugged sheepishly and Levi realized with a sick feeling that Eren was just one or two stops away from being like all those other young people who hung out around truck stops; selling his asshole for money.  He opened his mouth to speak.

“Levi!  Darling!”

A trim woman with auburn hair cut short had stopped at their booth and now gripped his arm familiarly.  Levi smiled beatifically.  “Hey!  Good to see you!”

“You look amazing!”

Levi blushed adorably and Eren goggled at the sight.  The woman shot a glance at Eren.

“I was hoping we could get up to something naughty again, but I see you have company.  Well, I won’t keep you.  I just wanted to say hi!”

“I’m glad you did,” Levi said warmly.

The woman walked away, turning to wave.

“Who was that woman?” Eren asked, trying not to sound jealous.

“Oh, I didn’t get her name, she’s cool though.”

“You had sex with a woman whose name you don’t know?!”

“Hey, I used a condom!”

“How can you do that?  Doesn’t the person you're having sex with mean anything to you?”

Levi stared confusedly as the woman walked out of the diner door.  “It was just a hook up.  Calm down, kid!”

Eren grabbed his sleeve, eliciting a deep frown. “If you don’t know your partner’s name, then what do you say when you come?” he hissed, trying to keep his voice down.

“‘Uh, ‘oh god, I’m coming’?”
 
When the waitress arrived Levi insisted on one check.  Eren protested.

“I can afford it, kid,” Levi said, “so shut up.”

They ate their dinner in companionable silence, Eren had ordered the chicken and gravy with rice and gravy.  “You like your gravy, eh?” Levi said, amused.

Levi got the steak, rare, and scowled because it was slightly overdone.

“You should send it back,” Eren said gesturing with his fork.  Levi shook his head, mouth full.

“‘ave you ever worked in food service?" He swallowed.  "It fucking sucks.  This steak is perfectly fine—and it’s good—just a little too done for my taste.  That’s not enough to be a bitch about.  Food service workers have it hard enough.”
 
Eren ate as if it was his last meal on earth, using his biscuit to soak up any leftover gravy.  When he was done he leaned back in his chair and belched quietly. “Excuse me.  Say, don’t you think it’s weird that you ran into the same woman that you’d, uh, hooked up with before?”

Levi cut his steak with delicate precision. “Nah.  We’re all traveling west on the same road.  We’re bound to see each other again and again at truck stops and gas stations.  I know at least a half a dozen people here—well, I recognize them, anyway.”  Levi took a drink of his sweet tea. “Some of us, like me and other salesmen, and the truckers with the same Route, see each other every year at some point.”

“Do you … have you … hooked up with any of them?”

Levi regarded Eren narrowly.

Why was the kid asking?

“I’ve never hooked up with a trucker, they’re usually not my type.  Either slobby pigs or, most of them, good family men.  A couple of salesmen—salespeople—sure.”

Eren spoke with his head down, fork hearding a few biscuit crumbs around his plate.  “Have you ever hooked up with a hitchhiker?”

A bolt of excitement arced through Levi and his breath sped up.

Did Eren just ask that?  What was he inferring?  Was it possible that this gorgeous creature was attracted to him?  No, that wasn’t possible.

Maybe he just wanted someone he knew to properly ease him through his first time.

The thought of that made Levi crazy with lust.  Yes, Eren needed someone to gently make love to him the first time. Levi’s dick stirred and he coughed and surreptitiously rearranged himself.

“Nope.” 
 
Eren sipped his iced tea and searched his brain for a subject to talk about.  “So you’re not gay?”

“I’m not gay, I’m bi … or pan or something.  I’m not picky.  If I think you’re nice then I’ll fuck you.  I hooked up with a gorgeous trans lady a few weeks back.”  He traced the drops of condensation on his glass.  “I wouldn’t have minded traveling with her for a while.”

He sounded almost wistful and Eren realized that Levi was probably lonely.  Why else would he give a penniless hitchhiker a ride?  Perhaps he felt sorry for him.  That made Eren sad.  He hoped Levi didn’t think that way of him.  It would be nice to have a friend.

Eren’s gaze slid sideways and he looked at Levi’s sharp profile.  He was so handsome.  Why was he wasting his time on Eren?  He could be hooking up every night.
 
Levi waited until Eren was fast asleep before creeping into the bathroom and pouring his last four Xanax out onto a sheet of paper on the counter.  The little Klonopin he had had was long gone.

Using the flat bottom of one of the glasses set out for guests, he carefully crushed up the pills into a powder.

Should he snort it?  His hands were starting to shake badly and snorting it would get it into his bloodstream faster.  He glanced over at his beer.  It was almost full.  He creased the sheet of paper and made a ‘V’, the end of which he held over his mouth.  The bitter powder slid onto his tongue and he took a swig of beer before chasing every last grain on the paper with a wet finger and popping it into his mouth.

He sighed.  He had a good fifteen minutes before the effects started.  Enough time to get settled in bed and finish his beer.  He opened the door to the bathroom, flicked off the light, checked that Eren was still asleep, and crossed to the bed.  He swigged at his beer and slid down under the covers.  His head was getting light and his vision was getting blurry.  Perfect.  He laid his head on the pillow and the sweet, sweet, lethargy overcame him.  Soon he was asleep.
 
Eren didn’t wake until ten a.m.  He looked over at Levi’s side of the bed, expecting it to be empty.

It wasn’t.  Levi was asleep on his back, mouth open, half-finished beer tipped out onto the sheets, puddled up under his ribs.  He looked more like he had been struck down rather than that he’d gone to sleep.

Eren frowned.  Sleeping late was unlike him—he said he woke at 5:30 every day—and sleeping in a puddle of beer was just bizarre.  Tentatively Eren felt his wrist.  His pulse seemed very very slow.  His breath was the same.

He pushed gently at Levi’s shoulder. “Levi?”

He seemed to be coming up from very far away.  Eventually, he blinked and his gaze settled fuzzily on Eren.  “Hey.”

“Hi.  You seemed really out of it.”

Levi struggled onto his side.  “Did I piss the fucking bed?”

“It’s just beer.  It tipped over onto the sheets.  You must have been sleepy.”

Levi shot him a clearer look, a furtive look.  “Yeah …”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

(The part of the twink is played by Jaye Davidson from

Stargate

and

The Crying Game

)
 
The truckstop where they were was old and small.  The trucks and cars parked right across from each other in a crowded little gravel lot.  When they got out of the car, Levi could see several truckers in a group watching them.  He hoped that none of them would just stroll up and ask him if he’d like some drugs.

He tried to hurry Eren along without seeming as if he was hurrying him.

Finally a trucker with a greasy straw cowboy hat—a trucker that Levi recognized—split off from the group and stalked toward them.  Levi started to sweat.  He couldn’t rush Eren anymore without physically dragging him.  When the scrawny trucker circled around in front of them Levi knew it was going to be bad.

Levi and Eren stopped as the trucker confronted them.  He grinned,  His teeth weren’t clean and he had a well-chewed toothpick hanging out of his mouth.

“What?” Levi snapped.  “Leave us alone, we’re not fucking with you.”

“I gotta question for ya.”

“Not interested.”  Levi attempted to herd Eren around the guy but he slid sideways.

“I’ll give you two bottles of Xanax, 30 each, for

him

.”

The trucker gestured at Eren, holding up a bottle and shaking it enticingly.

“What?  No fucking way!” Levi said, hands curling into fists.

“Your personal piece of ass, eh?  Three bottles!”

Eren was spluttering, speechless.

The trucker stepped close to Eren and attempted to stroke his cheek.  “I don’t wanna

keep

him, just use him for a while.”

Levi reacted explosively.  He darted forward and grabbed the trucker’s wrist in one hand and the front of his questionably clean shirt in the other.

“Back off fucknugget.  I’d let you fuck

my

ass before I let you have his!”

“Fine, fine,

your

ass. But I’m only giving you one bottle.  And you have to stay with me all day, be my little fuck slave.  How many times do you think you can take it?”  The guy leered hideously—he was missing several teeth and his breath smelled like garbage rotting in the hot sun.

Levi’s left fist contacted the trucker's jaw like a bowling ball hitting pins.  The trucker went down similarly, sprawling on the coarse gravel.

“I could get you for assault!” he screamed, holding his jaw.

“And I could get you for possession of Xanax that you don’t have a ‘script for!”  Levi turned and walked away, dragging Eren with him.

“Wow, I can’t believe that you hit him!  Did you see him go down?!”

Levi inspected the knuckles of his left hand, they were split and bleeding.  “This won’t look good on my next business stop.  I’ll have to go by a pharmacy and grab some gauze and wrap it up.”

“Jeez, what was that guy thinking trying to trade me for drugs?”

“They’ve seen us together the last few stops.  They think you’re my bitch.”

Eren stuttered to a halt.  “What?”

“They think that I’m the sugar daddy and you just ride my dick or blow me any time that I want in exchange for you traveling with me.”

Eren’s face flamed. “What? … uh … I …”  He fell silent and Levi looked worridly over at him.  He had said too much.
 
Eren looked down at the gravel of the parking lot and hitched his duffle and backpack higher.

“How did you know he didn’t have a prescription for the pills?”

“The name on the bottle was ‘Cheryl Fenton’,” Levi said quickly.

Eren didn’t know how Levi could have read that on the bottle with it so far away.  Truth was Levi had gotten benzos from the guy before and that was the name on his last bottle.

Eren looked at him with those turquoise eyes.  “Why was he offering you drugs?”

Levi began to sweat.  “He … he probably just assumed …”

“And a specific drug—three bottles worth—rather than a variety.”  Eren, suddenly understanding, wiped his nose, sniffling.  Levi’s heart just broke.

“Levi, are you a junkie?”

“What?! No! … I …”

“And you knew the other travelers were thinking that about me.”

“I never give a fuck what they …”

“But I do!” Eren yelled, throwing his bags down. “I do!  They all think that I bend over and take it up the ass anytime you want it!”

The mere thought of that caused Levi’s dick to respond and he angrily tamped the feeling down.  “I can’t help what they think!”

“Levi, one of them just tried to get you to

sell me

for drugs!”

Eren was pacing now, fists clenched at his sides.  “Is that what you want, Levi?  Me as your own personal fuck toy?!”

Dear god, yes.

“No!  Of course not!”

Eren stared at him for a moment and slowly picked up his bags.  He gestured flippantly,  “Have a good life, Levi” and he walked away.

“Eren!  Kid … wait!”

Eren ignored him, striding away toward the convenience store.

Eren walked confidently into the store and then looked over his shoulder.  Levi, who had apparently watched him go, turned away.  He looked so incredibly handsome and lonely.
 
  When Levi walked away Eren slipped out the door and went around the back of the convenience store and, when he was sure he was alone, put his back against the cinderblocks, and slid down the wall until he was sitting.  He buried his face in his knees and burst into tears.

How could he not have seen all the signs?  Levi had seemed so very nice. Then he turned out to be a junkie and a liar.  But he was so sweet when Eren was hurt and he defended him against the asshole trucker who wanted to trade him for drugs.  And he could have taken advantage.  They had slept in the same bed for fuck’s sake.  The tears overcame him and he sat sobbing, shoulders shaking.

Levi walked determindly to his car.  “Stupid hitchikers.  That’s the last time I pick one of them up.”
 
At the next few stops Levi tried to score some Xanax to no avail.  Nobody even had any klonopin.

Levi trudged through his next business stop, hands shaking, wracked with anxiety, and made no sales.  Afterward, he grabbed a fifth of vodka and holed up in the local motel getting shitfaced.

In the morning he dragged himself out of bed, vomited, and took a hot shower.  He had to find some benzos.

The fourth stop—a huge truckstop—proved fruitful.  He did manage to get some Xanax but almost got his ass kicked.  He had negotiated a fuck for twenty pills but the twink he got them from—and who he had fucked—turned out to be one of the trucker’s bitches.  The trucker came after him in the parking lot like a geriatric bull, waddling and gasping for air.  Levi was amused at first, then three other truckers joined in the chase and he had to sprint for his car.

The twink stuck his head in the window of the car just as Levi cranked it and threw the rest of the bottle of Xanax to him.

“Thanks for the fuck.  It was good.”

Levi jerked the car into drive. “Why fuck me when you have a dick to ride?”

The young guy shrugged.  “Old fart mostly can’t get the little thing up anymore.  Now go!”

Levi kicked up a rooster’s tail of gravel leaving.

He opened the bottle of Xanax with one hand and dumped the loose twenty into it.  He now had forty in total.  He took two and swallowed them dry.

He suddenly wished he had been able to kiss the young guy at the truck stop one last time.  He was very pretty; slender, boyish, with glowing tan skin and long, curly, black hair.

Levi scowled.  That made him think of Eren.  The guy wasn’t as gorgeous as Eren but who cared?  Eren was long gone.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Levi couldn’t quite shake the thoughts of Eren.  He thought about him as he jerked off in his lonely motel rooms, worried about him at truckstops, he even had gotten into the bad habit of fantasizing about the two of them together on the road.  It would be nice to have someone to talk to.

Depressed, Levi took four Xanax that night and drank until he passed out in a drug-induced haze.
 
Two days later, Levi scored bigtime at a modest machine shop just over the state line in Arkansas.  The owner was expanding and wanted all new uniforms for his staff, plus enough for new hires.  Pleased, Levi hummed as he walked to the car.  Tossing his clipboard in the back he switched on the radio, low.  Maybe he would meet up with some nice guy or gal at the next stop and get some much needed thereputic sex.

Smiling a bit, he pulled out onto the Route.
 
At the next convenience store he was in the men’s room, pissing and going over his recent sale in his head.

“Boo!”

Levi jumped and glared left, where he found himself staring into the jovial face of a very fat man in a tan sportscoat of questionable cleanliness and a porkpie hat.

“Stu!  You fucker!  You scared me half to death.  I almost pissed on my shoes!”

The man in question, Stu, just grinned and laughed.  Levi smiled his small smile then said mock-seriously “now back up, I don’t want you ogling my dick you sicko.”

Stu backed up politely and Levi shook and tucked.  They met at the sinks.  “I haven’t seen you in a racoon’s age, Levi!”

“I know!  What was it?  Six months ago?  In Arizona?”

“Shamrock, Texas!  You had the luck of the Irish that night.  You hooked up with that redheaded woman.”

“Jesus, how do you remember these things?  I don’t remember who I hooked up with last month.  And I’m not Irish.”

“Ye keep telling me that, boyo.”

“That was the worst Irish accent I’ve ever heard, Stu.  Don’t do that again.”

The big man chuckled and began whistling an Irish ditty.

“Say, will you join me for some greasy diner food?” he asked, gesturing at the restaurant that was across from the huge convenience store.  
 
They ate and chatted and caught up on everything.  After a bit they both relaxed with a coffee refill and talked about the road.  Levi told Stu about Eren (leaving out the assault.  That was for Eren to tell if he chose to.)  Levi paused to take a long sip of his coffee.

“You sound like you’re sweet on this kid,” Stu said, looking sly.

Levi startled.

Was he that obvious?

“Y’know, it’s really nice to have someone to travel with,” Stu added.

Levi studied Stu’s face, reading the old hurt there.  Stu used to travel with his wife, Bonnie.  She had been a round, jovial woman like Stu and Levi missed her.  Stu had never recovered from her death even though it had been two years,

Levi and Stu had met because of Bonnie as a matter of fact.  She had sent her wedding ring off to be resized and Levi, seeing no ring, hit on her hard.  She had politely refused and had introduced an embarrassed Levi to her husband.  Stu and Levi had been fast friends ever since.
 
Stu stood up, laying bills on the table for a tip and gathering up his sports jacket and hat.  “I hate to run off, but I’ve got an appointment in the next town over.”

“I hate to see you go.”

“We’ll meet back up soon enough,” Stu said with a grin.  “Good luck with this Eren kid.  You should introduce us sometime.”
 
Levi, alone at the table, sighed and took a sip of his coffee.  It was cold.  He missed Stu already.  Missed that tiny bit of human interaction.  He got out his wallet, then checked to see how much of a tip Stu had left.  The cheery man had left enough for both of their meals and coffees and a generous tip.  Levi pocketed his wallet, shook his head, and smiled.

Levi saw Stu again some weeks later standing next to his car.  He was going to call out to him but a man in an expensive suit stepped out of a black Suburban and approached him.  The man glanced around, then handed Stu a smallish package.  Levi, who had grown up on the streets, knew a package of drugs when he saw it.  He averted his eyes and hurried into the diner.
 
Levi was almost hyperventilating thinking of Stu and what he’d seen.  He knew that Stu was strapped for money—he had wondered at him paying for their food—but would he turn to being a drug mule?  Levi wished suddenly that Bonnie was there.  She would knock some sense into Stu.

As it was Levi had to compose himself in case Stu came into the diner.  He couldn’t let on about what he’d seen.  The man in the suit was surely some underworld thug.  Levi wasn't being dramatic, he knew the look, the suit, the car.  Jesus, Stu was in deep if he was running drugs for some sleazy mob boss.

And what was worse, if they saw Levi with Stu or realize what he saw, he could be in trouble.  Levi brought his coffee to his lips.  His hand was shaking.  He had to be very very careful around his friend from now on and that made him sad.

Soon Stu appeared in the diner, paused to look around and saw Levi.  He waved and walked over.

“Not eating?” he asked sliding into the opposite booth.

Truth was that Levi felt too nervously queasy to eat.

“Stomach acting up.”

“Ahh, sorry.  Will it bother you if I eat?”

“Not at all.”

For the rest of the meal the two men bantered and traded stories of sales and the odd people that they encountered on the road.  For a bit, Levi forgot about what he’d seen. Just enjoying the company.
 
Stu and Levi parted company after Stu ate.  Levi was sorry and glad at the same time.  He stepped out of the diner into the crisp air and looked around.  The cars were all parked close by the diner and the big trucks were lined up on the other side.  He didn’t see the black suburban and he let his breath out in relief.  Stu’s car was gone as well.  Levi took his bottle of Xanax out of his coat pocket and opened it.  He had almost none left.  When had he started taking so much?  He needed to cut back.  He was drinking too much as well.  He didn’t think he was strong enough to quit but he could reduce his intake.  Contrary to his self pep-talk he headed into the tiny local town searching for a liquor store.
 
Later, in his motel room, he swigged the vodka right out of the bottle and waited for the three Xanax to kick in.  He lay spread eagle on the bed and stared at the ceiling.  He thought of his uncle, Kenny, and his ex girlfriend Yelena and how much he had loved her.  He had adored her and had had sweet daydreams of them getting married and having kids and maybe a cat.

Then the neighbors in his apartment building had held an intervention of sorts.  They gently told Levi about all the men who came to the apartment when he wasn’t there and the noises afterward.

The next morning Levi showered, shaved what little he had to, and packed his duffle bag back up.  He was accumulating a lot of dirty clothes; it was about time for a trip to the laundromat.  He wondered about Eren, wondered if he was doing okay.  Maybe he’d gone back home.  Levi hoped so.  How was he washing his clothes?

Levi slung his duffle over his shoulder and returned his key to the front desk.  He got himself a Snickers bar and a Coke and called it breakfast.

Out at the car, Levi took a moment to separate his dirty clothes out and sure enough he had enough for a load.  He prissily straightened up his samples and shut the trunk.
 
Levi headed out onto the Route and searched for some tunes on the radio.  He decide to go with classic rock that morning and sat back and enjoyed some ACDC.

The truck stop he was headed to was quite a distance away and he had one stop along the way; a modest cleaning service that needed uniforms for new hires.  It wasn’t a big sale but it was a sure one.

It was a woman run business and hired all women so Levi had a smorgasbord of females to flirt with.  Most of the ladies were hispanic and Levi, who didn’t speak a lick of a second language, had to improvise.

The cleaning service was in a local small town a few miles off the Route so Levi decided to eat at a restaurant proper for a change.  He chose the local bar b que joint and had a fine meal of pulled pork and ribs with cole slaw.  He made a note to remember the place the next time he was out this way.

Soon, though, he was back on the road, humming along to Def Leopard and drinking a Coke, looking for the next big truck stop.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Levi had a routine.  He had long since scoped out all the places to eat, piss, and sleep along Route 40.  He preferred truck stops because they had everything and almost every time there was a cheap motel nearby—sometimes within walking distance.

This truck stop was no different.  One of the biggest on the Route, Cunningham's boasted a store, gas, a diner, and a budget Motel right next to it.  They even had a hardware store slash feed and seed in the same giant building.  (Cunningham’s feed and hardware was the original business begun in 1937.  The truck stop had grown up around it.)

Levi nosed the Impala up to the front of the convenience store and got out.  He dragged his jacket off of the passenger side front seat and put it on.  The day had turned quite chilly.  He wondered again about Eren.  He hoped he was back at his house warm and toasty and fed.

Abruptly, he found himself staring at the young man in question.  He was checking out with a drink and a newspaper.

He had fresh bruises on top of his old bruises and Levi fretted.  He had clearly been fighting.  Defending himself maybe?  Levi shuddered to think.

“Eren.”

Eren turned around, suspicion writ large across his face, then his face morphed into a relieved expression.  “Levi!”

“How are you?”

Eren frowned, remembering, apparently.  He got out a small wad of bills and paid the cashier, walking quickly past Levi for the door.  Levi sprinted after him.

He grabbed him tightly by the arm, and spun him around. “Where did you get that money?  Are you selling your ass?”

Eren wrenched his arm away.  “None of your business, but no!”  He began to walk quickly toward the restaurant.  Levi fell in beside him, having to almost jog to keep up.

“Then, where did you get the money?!”

“Fine!  I stole it, okay?”  Eren began to tear up and Levi took his elbow and steered him gently into the restaurant.  They found a table easily, the place was not busy at that time of day.  Levi ordered two coffees and Eren sobbed quietly on the other side of the booth.

“There … there was this salesman …”

Levi cringed at that.

“He was really drunk, like staggering, and he offered me a hundred bucks to … well … suck him.”

“Jesus, Eren.”

“You fuck people for drugs, Levi!”

“Keep your voice down, shit!”  Levi looked around to see if anyone might have heard.  He leaned close.  “So when did the stealing come in?”

Eren ducked his head, clearly ashamed but soldiered on.

“When we go into his motel room, he passed out and I took everything out of his wallet.  Well, the cash anyway.”

“So you never blew him?”

“No, not that that’s your business.”  Eren crossed his arms over his chest.  “I’ve never done that anyway, so I would have sucked … no pun intended.”

Levi chewed his lip and pictured Eren’s plump lips around his own cock.  He could teach the young man something about blowjobs.

Stop it, stop it, stop it!  Eren doesn’t want to be with you and do you blame him?  He doesn’t even want to travel with you, much less fuck you.

Levi shook his head to banish lustful thoughts.
 
“I had hoped you had gone home.” Levi said.

Eren took a sip of his coffee.  “I’ll never go back there,” he said darkly.

“So what are you gonna do when you money runs out?”

“I’ve been budgeting!”

“Eren, it will run out eventually.  And it’s getting colder.  You don’t even have a winter coat!”

“I thought I’d stay around here for a bit.” He gestured with the newspaper. “Find a job.  Maybe I could be a salesman!”

“You don’t have a car.”

“Oh, yeah.”

Levi leaned forward in the booth. “Eren at lea—”

“Can I go now?” Eren interrupted.

Levi looked into his face pleadingly.  “Ere—”

Eren drained his cup and stood up.  “Thanks for the coffee.”  He turned and ran straight into Stu’s generous belly.  Stu laughed.  “You okay young man?  Say Levi, is this the Eren you told me so much about?”

Levi meanwhile was looking around carefully for any thuggish types.  It looked clear.  Certainly Stu wouldn’t do ‘business’ right in the middle of a restaurant, would he?

Stu extended a beefy hand to Eren.  “You can call me Stu!”

Eren hesitantly shook with him, peering over his shoulder at Levi. “Eren Yeager.”

“Levi have been ‘road’ friends for ages.  We have almost identical Routes so we keep meeting up,” Stu was saying  “Won’t you sit down?  I’ll buy you some lunch.”

Levi could see independence warring with a free meal and another hour of warmth.  The meal won.

Stu, due to his size, took up one whole side of the booth which meant that Eren had to sit beside Levi.  He did so carefully, making sure their thighs and shoulders didn’t touch.  Nevertheless Levi could feel his inferno-like warmth radiating off of him.
 
Unfortunately Levi was left handed and Eren was right handed and the way they sat caused them to brush elbows.  Eren kept trying to fold in on himself to prevent it but finally gave up with a sigh.  The waitress refilled their coffee and Stu, who had been watching both men avidly, leaned forward.

“I thought you two were friends.”

“We are—” Levi began.

“No, we just … met on the road,” Eren said quickly.

“That’s funny,” Stu said blandly, “I thought you two were an item.  Levi is very fond of you, you know.”  He sipped innocently at his coffee refill.  Eren whipped his head around and looked at Levi who was cherry red and fiddling with his napkin.

“I had no idea,” Eren said thoughtfully.

“Well, you two certainly make a handsome pair.” The waitress stepped up with their cutlery and napkins. “Don’t these two make a handsome pair?”

The woman stopped chewing her gum and suspiciously inspected Levi and Eren, both of whom were red now.  “Pair o’ whats?”

“Friends!” Levi and Eren said at the same time.  The waitress gave them one more narrow-eyed look and walked away.

“Stu!” Levi hissed.  “You are always pulling that shit!”

“Oh you know I love getting under the homophobes’ skin.”

“Are you gay?” Eren asked, picking up his cutlery.

“Naw.  I just hate homophobes.  Let people live their damned lives!”  Stu emphasized this last bit with a sound thump on the table which made the plates jump.  “You gonna eat those tomatoes?”
 
Stu insisted on paying for everything and when he took a wad of cash out of his pocket that could choke a horse, Levi cringed.  Stu was definitely running drugs.
 
They sat for a short while after Stu left, drinking their coffee silently.  Finally, Eren stood up.

“Sorry,” he muttered.  “I’ve got to go.”

Levi reached out one hand.  “Eren …”

Anger flashed in Eren’s eyes. “I said, I have got to—Hey, Stu left his hat.”

Eren retrieved the slightly soiled porkpie from the side of the booth where Stu had sat.

“Shit, he loves that thing,” Levi said.  “Lets see if we can catch up to him.”
 
As they went out the door, Levi looked sidelong at Eren.  “So what happened to your face?  You’ve got every color going there.  You weren't that beat up when I last saw you.”

Eren touched his face tentatively and flexed his jaw, wincing.  “I’m not really sure.”

“Not sure how you got your ass handed to you?”

“It wasn’t that bad!  It was basically a misunderstanding.”

“So what happened?”

“There was this big trucker guy, big hairy guy, intimidating.  He kept flirting with me and I just politely walked away.  But he wouldn’t stop.  Finally he put his hands on me and I panicked and pushed him.  Then out of nowhere this red-headed guy shows up and punches me in the face!”

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

“Then they walked off together, all lovey dovey.”

“That red-head was sure you were stealing his man.”

“That’s what I figured but I never encouraged the guy!  How did he even know I was gay?!”

“Hope springs eternal.”

“Do these guys actually care about each other or is it just a … a business relationship.”

“I suppose a few really do care but for most it’s just food and shelter and drugs in exchange for lying up under some sweaty asshole a few days a week.  Some of these truckers have wives and kids at home.  They just stop at the gas station closest to their house and let their ‘boyfriend’ out.”

Eren stewed on this for a bit.  “Did everyone really think you and I were together?”

Levi swirled his tea.  “They assumed. Listen, most travelers on the road are good guys.  Most truckers are.  Many are good family men.  Most don’t sell drugs.”  Levi shrugged, “but the ones who do … know me.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Like many truck stops, Cunningham's had a main building where the diner and the convenience store was (and the hardware store and the feed and seed,) and, out in the huge dirt lot where the big trucks parked was a smaller building that housed the showers, two more bathrooms, and  small store that sold those last minute staples;  Skin magazines, condoms, cigarettes and dip and a small assortment of drinks and snacks.

The large building stood long ways facing the small building and the small building faced the road.  The small building was situated right up against the trees, so you couldn’t drive back there.

It was in this narrow gap between the back of the building and the trees that they saw Stu disappear.

Both Eren and Levi walked quickly, reaching the gap and stepping around the corner.  There was a tightly closed back door and a bucket and a mop and a few drink crates.  Stu was standing at the far end of the building with another man in an expensive suit.  Eren opened his mouth to call out when Levi looked past the man and at the shining black Chevrolet Tahoe with a man slouched against the fender watching the truck traffic and looking bored.

Before Eren could call out or Levi could react, Stu bent his head and drew out the package of drugs and the man in the suit pulled a silenced gun out of his jacket and shot him in the head.
 
Levi grabbed Eren bodily and hauled him roughly around the corner of the building.  He sprawled face down, scrabbling in the thin weeds growing in the dirt.

“What the hell?”

“Shhh!  Keep your voice down!” Levi hissed.  “We gotta get out of here.”

“Did that guy just

kill

Stu?  Oh my god he

shot

Stu!  We have to tell the police!”

“We’ll do no such thing!  Listen, kid, I’m used to the workings of the underworld.  If they know what we saw or think that we turned them in we’ll be dead.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna be dead.”

Eren scrambled up. “So what do we do?” he whispered.

“We make ourselves disappear.”

“But what about Stu?”

“He doesn’t have an opinion at this point.”
 
“Look innocent,” Levi muttered “ and walk casually.”  They walked as quickly as Levi dared to his car.  Levi unlocked it and got in.  Without a word, Eren slid in the other side, putting Stu’s hat on the seat between them.  Levi, tempted to kick up a rooster tail of dirt leaving, forced himself to drive calmly. As they drove sedately past the motel, Levi pulled in, circled around, and threw Stu’s hat in the dumpster out back.

“Bye, Stu,” he whispered.

A few dozen miles down the road Eren pounded on the dash with one fist startling Levi so badly that the car swerved.

“What?!”

“All of this!  I can’t believe it!”  Eren sat back and folded his arms tightly across his chest.

Another mile passed.

Levi glanced over at the volatile young man “is this about Stu?”

“Fuck yeah, it’s about Stu!  All of this is your fault!  You lied to me, kept things from me, caused me to witness a murder!”

“I didn’t kill anybody,” Levi whispered.

“No but you've been trouble since I met you!”

“Eren, I … I didn’t mean for all this to happen.  I’ve been trying to help you.”

“I wish you’d just leave me alone.  I wish I’d never met you”

Levi’s heart broke.  He looked entreatingly at Eren.  “Eren …”

“Don’t look at me like you’re sorry.  You’re not sorry”

“Eren, I am.  I’m so sorry.  I’m sorry you got … assaulted, I’m sorry you had to witness what happened to Stu, I’m sorry you're out here on the road at all.”

“So you don’t want to be around me.  I see.”

“That’s not what I meant!  You're putting words in my mouth!”

“And what about your habit?”

Levi’s breathing sped up.  “It’s not a habit.  I just take a benzo or two to settle down at night.”

“Levi, you passed out the other night.  You were barely conscious when I woke up.”

There was nothing Levi could say to that so he stayed quiet.  The miles rolled by and Eren stared out of the passengers side window.

“I gotta piss,” Levi announced suddenly after a while. “You gotta piss?”

Eren, face still turned to the window just shrugged.

“We should call in an anonymous tip,” Eren said abruptly.

Levi thought about it.  “For Stu?  They can trace our cell phones.”

Eren chewed his lip.  “Do payphones still exist?”

Levi looked doubtful.  “I don’t think so.”

Eren sighed and Levi turned off at the next exit that had a gas station.
 
Levi got out of the car and Eren made no move to do so.  Levi leaned in the door. “Coming in?”

“Nope.”

“Can I get you anything?  Chips, candy a drink?”

Eren slowly turned his head towards him like some creepy automaton.  Levi shivered.

“You love being the sugar daddy, don’t you?  I’m not going to suck your dick, Levi.”

Levi snapped.  “I never asked you to!  Never once have I ever made any moves toward you!  We slept in the same bed for fuck’s sake!”

A couple walked by and into the store giving them the side-eye.

“Fuck all the way off!” Levi barked at them.  They hurried on.

Levi got control of himself with difficulty. “I’m doing this because I thought we were friends and I have money to spare and you don’t.  Now do you want anything or not?  I gotta piss.”

“A Coke and some chips.” Eren said quietly.

“What flavor chips?”

“Barbeque.”

Levi straightened, slammed the car door a little bit too hard and went into the store.  As he washed his hands he figured that Eren would use this opportunity to slip away but, no, he was still in the car when Levi emerged from the bathroom.  Pleased, Levi browsed the shelves, grabbing drinks, chips and candy (in case Eren wanted some.)  He bought himself some cigarettes.

When he got back into the car, he handed the whole bag of goodies to Eren who rummaged through it, extracting his stuff.  When he was done he stared into the bag.  “This is quite an assortment of candy.”

Levi shrugged.  “I like sweet stuff.  Take one … or two.”  Eren regarded the bottom of the bag again then finally reached in.  His hand emerged clutching the Almond Joy.  Levi fought the urge to grin.
 
They got back on the road and sat companionably eating their snacks.  After a while, Eren, bored, began pointing out interesting things on the side of the road or on signs.  Levi listened happily.

“Worlds largest hay snail?  What’s a hay snail?”

“A snail made of hay?”

“Huh.”

The Impala’s tires whined on the road.

“Do you think those guys were after Stu or just shot him on the spur of the moment?  He was carrying a lot of cash.”

“I think they had marked him.”

“Does that have anything with your knowledge of the underworld?”

“What?  You think I ratted Stu out?”

“Of course not.  I think you’re a junkie and a liar but not … what do they call it?  A snitch.”

“I’m not a snitch and I’m not a liar.”

“You lied by omission!”

“I was trying to protect you!”

“By making other people think I was a … a … whore?”

“Alright, it was a bad call, but I—”

“Have you ever gone to prison?”

There was a long, brittle silence.

“Yes.”

“Jesus, Levi, you’re a piece of work.  How long?”

“It was a two year sentence but I was out in six months for good behavior.”

“What was it like?  Were you raped?”

“I wasn’t raped, though several guys tried.  It’s scary being surrounded by three guys and knowing that they don’t want to rob you or beat you up but fuck you in the ass, one after another, dry.  It turns you into a helluva fighter, and when you’re small like me they underestimate you.

“What were you in for?”

“Possession.”

“Was it the drugs you take now?”

“No I wasn’t on drugs back then.  It was cocaine and I was delivering it for my uncle.”

“Your uncle is a criminal?”

“He was.  He’s in the state pen for dealing, now.”

Eren subsided into silence.

“What about your mom?”

The atmosphere in the car went from normal to glacial and Levi stiffened up.  Eren noticed.

“I’m sorry.  I guess you don’t want to talk about you—”

“No, I want you to know.” Levi took a deep breath. “She was a junkie and a  prostitute.  I don’t even know who my dad is.  He was one of her johns.”

“Oh, shit, Levi!  I’m so sorry about that whore comment!”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know.  Like mother like son, I guess,” Levi said.

“Levi …”

“Can we talk about something else?”

They were both silent lost in their own thoughts.  The landscape whipped by.

“How did you get to be such a lothario?  How’d you learn to flirt like that?  I’m shit at flirting.”

“Hey, when you’re short like me and have an unimpressive dick. You have to bend over backwards to impress the ladies … and gentlemen.  Although guys are easier.  There’s such a limited opportunity to find guys to fuck that they are not excruciatingly picky.”

“I’ve had so many women pass me by because I’m not six feet tall.  It sucks.  I dated a woman who was six feet tall, once, and I asked her if she was embarrassed to be with me since I’m so short and she looked down at me and said ‘honey, you are closer to where you

need

to be’”

Eren burst out laughing.

“Yep, it’s true.  One tip kid; you want to get laid?  Learn to eat pussy.  I eat pussy like it’s my

job

and I’ve never had any complaints.”

Eren tried to stifle his giggles. “Well, I’m not interested in that!”

“Well, learn how to give great blowjobs.”`

Eren blushed and picked at his nails. “I need to find somebody to … uh … practice on first.”

It took all of his willpower for Levi not to say

“fuck!  Practice on me anytime you want!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The day eased into evening and the temperature dropped.  Levi bumped up the car’s heater. “We’ve gotta get you a coat.  You can’t keep wearing hoodies.  You’ll freeze.”

Eren looked as if he was going to protest then subsided.  Perhaps the young man was realizing how much better his life was on the road with Levi.

Levi, for his part, was so pleased to have Eren in the car; to look at him (he was so gorgeous) to talk to him, just to have another human around.  Plus he tended to chatter which kept Levi entertained as they travelled along this road that Levi had traversed so many times that it had gotten boring.

The sun was just going down and the sky was turning purple and orange in a beautiful display.  Eren watched the sky and Levi watched Eren.
 
They cruised through the darkness for an hour or so.  It was peaceful.  Levi was waiting for a certain exit and finally they came up on it.  Eren looked around curiously.

There was a small, country convenience store and across the street from it was a motel with a seedy attached bar ambitiously called “Diamond Dan’s Pussy Cat Club”.

“Live entertainment,” Eren read.  “Levi are you taking me to a

strip club

?!”  He gestured at himself “Gay, remember?”

“Calm your tits.  I’m taking you to a motel and taking myself to a strip club.”

“You can’t be thinking of bringing a girl—”

“Or guy!”

“Or guy back to our motel room!”

“Nah, we’ll use their room.”
 
Levi checked in and gave Eren the door key.  “I’ll be back later.” He tapped the side of his sharp nose. “There’s a method to my madness.”  Eren fumed and frowned as Levi walked away and shivered in the cold. He finally went to the motel room before he caught frostbite.
 
Levi sipped some really terrible bourbon and kept an eye on the room.  He liked strip bars on principle (duh, breasts) but never sat next to the stage or got lap dances.  Right now he was stalking a lady at the bar.

She was way overdressed for the low-class club; in a gold sequined dress that barely fit and hiked up her thigh almost high enough to see her underwear.  Levi sent her a drink.

As soon as the waiter gestured to him she came over, pulling awkwardly at her ill-fitting dress.  “Hey, lover.  Thanks for the drink.  Would you like some company?”  Levi gestured at the other chair and she sat heavily.  Black.  Her underpants were black.

Levi cursed to himself.  He was sober and she was sloppy drunk.  His plan had been to go back to her motel room and fuck, maybe rifle through her purse for drugs when she was asleep.

But he couldn’t fuck her now.  He refused to have sex with someone who couldn’t give consent.  He was trying to extricate himself from the situation when she said the magic words; “Wanna do some H?”

Heroin.  Heroin would knock her out like a light.  Levi wouldn't get to dip his wick but he’d still be able to rifle her for drugs.  He smiled like the sun coming out.
 
Back in her motel room she shed the dress and walked around in just her black underwear and matching bra.  Levi wished that he had gotten there earlier before she had drunk so much.  As it was, her solid middle aged body was sexy as hell; broad hips, heavy breasts.  It was distracting.

Fortunately she rather eagerly produced the paraphernalia for injecting dope and got right to it.  Levi, who had never done Heroin, watched.  Finally she pulled up the syringe full and gestured at Levi.  “Wanna do the first hit?”

“Ladies first.”

She nodded and tied off her arm, raising a vein.  She didn’t hesitate but injected it smoothly.  She was a veteran of dope.  Releasing the tourniquet she took a few deep breaths and the drug hit her.

Reeling where she sat, she grinned at Levi and passed him the spoon and lighter.  She gave him the same syringe that she’d used.

“Go on. Help your…self.  Say, you wanna fuck now?”

“Sure, go get on the bed.”

The woman took off her bra and underpants as she staggered over to the bed.  That was

very

distracting.  Levi carefully put the drug parephenalina aside and approached the bed.  She had put her purse on the bedside table and Levi reached for it.  Her eyelids were drooping; she was beginning to pass out in a drug euphoria.

The first thing Levi’s hand encountered was her cell phone and he almost put it aside … then he got an idea.  “Wanna do some coke?” he asked.

The woman nodded fuzzily.

“I don’t have my phone.  Can I borrow yours?  What’s your lock code?”

“Hannah, with a ‘H’,” she said then giggled.  “Man this is some good shit, I—”

Levi looked up and she was out like a light.

He resumed rifling her purse.  “Yahtzee,” he said quietly.  A half full bottle of Valium.   He pocketed it and putting the cell phone in his other pocket, washed his hands and let himself out

“Wow, you’re quick on the trigger,” Eren said when he opened the door, scowling.

“Ha ha. I didn’t fuck her, smartass.  She was dunk as fuck.  I just rifled her purse and look what I got.”  He held the phone up.

“Did she have drugs?” Eren crossed his arms over his chest.

Levi hesitated,  No use lying.  The kid knew.

“Yes.”

“Levi you have got to quit that stuff!  Go into a program or something!  You’re a good person!  If you stop the drugs you’ll stop the stealing!  And maybe all the mindless sex!”

“Why do you care who I fuck?!”

For just a moment an expression crossed Eren’s face.  An uncertain one, sure, but it was there for a fleeting second.

“Because it’s dangerous!  You could catch something.  Your whole life is dangerous!  You could get caught stealing.  You could overdose.”

It was almost as if Eren cared about him.  That made Levi sad.  Sad and angry.  He didn’t deserve this kid.
 
“I can't be who you want me to be!  I’m a junkie and I have a shit job and a small dick and …”

“Why do you talk shit about your cock?”

“You’ve never seen it!”

“True, but, I mean you hook up all the time and I’ve never heard of anyone being dissatisfied.”

Levi stared at the carpet and shuffled his feet.  Finally he spoke.

“My girlfriend cheated on me with every man in the neighborhood.  Apparently my money and my dick weren’t good enough for her.” Levi picked at his cuticles.  “I figured it was my size or the size of my cock.  Or both. I didn't think my dick was too bad …”

Eren, who had never seen Levi’s dick, was shocked at this man who seemed to have his life together—aside from the drugs—acting so uncertain and unsure of his manhood.  Levi had low self confidence?  That would explain a few things.

“That’s when I decided to go on the road.  That’s when I started talking Xanax.  God, I loved her so much.  I hook up with everyone I can just to convince myself that I’m an adequate man.”

“Adequate?  Adequate!?  You’re a fine man down deep!  You helped me when I got attacked and never asked for anything in return.  You slept in the same bed as me and never made a move.  Stu clearly loved you.”

A tear slipped down Levi’s pale cheek and he wiped it angrily off.

He took the bottle of Valium out of his pocket and headed for the bathroom.

“I believe in you” Eren said belligerently.

Levi stopped, hunched in on himself and spoke without turning.  “You don’t know me, kid.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The next day it was clear and cold but ominous clouds were scudding in from the north and there was frost on the windshield of the Impala.  Levi woke at nine, hung over from the bad bourbon and groggy from the valium left in his system.  Eren was puttering around the room, freshly bathed, sorting his clothes and packing the clean ones up.  He was sucking on a Coke.

“Jesus, breakfast of champions.”

“Oh!  You’re awake.  What does ‘breakfast of champions’ mean?”

Levi scrubbed his hair making it stick up adorably in all directions.  He yawned.  “There was this advertising campaign for Wheaties cereal when I was a kid and their slogan was ‘breakfast of champions’ so now when somebody makes a bad choice for breakfast you say that ironically.”

“Hmmph!”

Levi hauled himself out of bed with a groan and headed for the bathroom.  He pissed, showered, and shaved and felt much more human.  He left the bathroom letting out a cloud of steam.  “Do you have a lot of dirty clothes?  I need to go to the laundromat.”

“God yes.  I think I've worn everything in here three times!”

“Gross!  Yep, we’re going today!”

“Say, why did you steal that lady’s cell phone?”

“I have a plan.”

Levi sat on the left side of his bed and Eren sat on the right side of his so that they faced each other.  Their knees almost brushed.

“So I got this idea that I would take her cell phone to some town down the road and call in the anonymous tip for Stu.”

Eren looked excited. “But won’t they trace it?”

“They will but we’ll be long gone.”

“What about that woman?”

“She’ll have long since contacted the police and the motel staff about her stolen phone etc, etc.  So she’ll be in the clear.  Then we mail the phone back to the motel, they contact her, she gets it back, easy peasy.”

“That’s brilliant,” Eren breathed.

“C’mon.  Grab your nasty drawers and let’s go!”
 
They found a tiny town a bit off the Route where two state roads intersected.  It even had a laundromat.

They were the only ones in the laundromat, it was clean and well lit and smelled of detergent, bleach, and dryer sheets.  Eren started to get his own washer when Levi stopped him.

“Why use two separate washers?  Are you afraid my underpants are gonna infuse yours with small dick energy?”

“You need to shut up,”  Eren laughed and stuffed his clothes in the washer with Levi’s.  They then did what you do in a laundromat and sat on the hard fiberglass chairs and watched their clothes wash.

When they were done they tossed them into the dryer (Levi had had dryer sheets and detergent in his trunk,) and Levi went out the back door to smoke.

The back door let out into a very narrow alley with a mop bucket and a mop (why was there always a mop bucket and a mop?) and a green dumpster that Levi could smell from where he stood.  The laundromat shared a wall with a restaurant so the dumpster stank of rotting food.  Eren joined him a minute later.

“When we get the clothes back in the car we’ll call and leave the tip.  I’m gonna stand back here to do it so nobody sees me on the phone.  Just to be extra careful.”

After awhile the dryer dinged and Eren pulled the clothes out and distributed them equally between their duffle bags.

“Go throw those in the car, I’m making the call,” Levi said.

Levi called 911, asking for the dispatch in the town that the truck stop was, where Stu had been killed.  He said he was there, at the truck stop.  He very quickly gave descriptions of Stu and the two men and the black Tahoe and gave her all the info he knew about Stu.  When he was done he immediately hung up.

Eren stepped out at that moment.

“Let’s get moving,” Levi said

“Did your hear that?” Eren asked suddenly.

“Hear what?”

“That little squeaky noise.”  Eren began looking around.

“Eren we need to go.”

“Wait …”

Eren disappeared behind the stinking dumpster and Levi frowned.

“Oh my god!  Oh my god!  Levi!”

Levi ran around the dumpster, smell be damned.

Eren was standing over three tiny kittens.  Two were dead, flattened out, hideously still, and a third … a third staggered toward them on little baby legs, meowing piteously.
 
Eren scooped up the kitten, bawling like a baby himself.  “Th-they’re dead!  Oh Levi!”

Levi rubbed his arm.  “It’s okay. There was nothing you could do.  Some sick fucking shitstain must have dumped them.  Is that one okay?”
 
They hauled ass out of there with their clean clothes and the kitten.  Eren insisted on stopping at the local feed and seed and buying kitten food, and kitten formula and a tiny kitten bottle.  The little cat was starving.  He drank a whole bottle of formula and had a go at the soft food, growling impressively when Eren came near.  Finally he curled up, belly a hard round ball, in the crook of Eren’s arm and fell asleep.

After a while Levi looked over at Eren who was stroking the kitten as it slept.

“I don’t suppose you’ll let me dump it at a shelter?”

Eren glared daggers at him.  Levi sighed.

“What are you gonna name it?”

“I was thinking Bartholomew.”

“Bartholo—what?  Your gonna saddle a cat the size of a McDonald’s apple pie with a name like Bartholomew?!”

Eren nodded stubbornly and hugged the cat closer.  “I’ll call him Bart.”

“Like the Simpsons?!”

“Or ‘Tholly’.”

“Even worse!”

“Oh, fuck off, Levi.”

“Fine.”

Levi had tossed the cell phone into an envelope and into the post box back in the town with the laundromat.  Both he and Eren breathed easier as they hurried back out onto Route 40.

Around Fort Smith the weather turned to freezing rain and visibility was poor.  They stopped at a town with a Walmart and Levi bought Eren a thick winter coat and a small litterbox for Tholly that would fit in the floorboard behind Eren’s seat.  Levi bought the best super-deodorizing cat litter he could find.  He also threw in food and water dishes and duplicated everything for motel rooms.  They were set, cat-wise.

They grabbed some Arby’s and cruised back onto the Route.

“God I love Arby’s curly fries,” Eren said reverently, throwing his head back and opening his mouth for a particularly long specimen.

“Jesus, visibility is for shit,” Levi said, leaned forward and peering out the windshield.

Indeed it had gotten so much freezing rain and almost-snow that there was a wintery fog on the road.  Levi had slowed down.  Phantom-like cars and trucks passed him on the left and disappeared into the fog.

A garish sign for a large truck stop appeared on their right and Levi sighed in relief.  “I’m gonna stop for the night.  It’s just too shitty out here.  We could crash.”

They skidded a bit on the exit and Eren was secretly glad they’d stopped.

“You want something to eat?  We’re not going to be able to walk to the Bojangles.”

“Ohh, yeah.  I haven't had fried chicken in a while.  Hnnn and dirty rice!

“Don’t have an orgasm.  These seats are clean.”

Eren giggled. “Oh, fuck off, Levi.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The parking lot  of the motel was a snowy, icy wasteland in the morning.  It was clear, though and there was no precipitation so Eren left Levi and Tholly sleeping (Levi had taken some of his valium) and walked across to the diner.

In that particular truck stop, the truck parking sat between the store and the diner.  It was an odd set up and Eren was forced to weave in between the big trucks.  It didn’t take long before he was noticed.

He heard the doors to a few trucks slam but didn’t think anything about it till he saw the truckers.  He was almost past the trucks, he could see the diner.  He walked faster.
 
Levi woke with a start.  Eren’s bed was empty.  Where was the kid?  He was still bleary from the valium but he struggled into his coat and went outside.  His eye was drawn to the diner and he started walking fast.  It wasn’t long till he found him.
 
The four men surrounded Eren, and Levi had flashbacks to being in the pen, three men around him, all of whom wanted one thing.

Levi’s reaction was explosive.

He darted in among them, shoving Eren behind himself and facing the four men.

“Whoa, ho!” one of the men said.  “More twink ass for us!”

“Fucking run,” Levi said over his shoulder to Eren.  “Run like you mean it.”

“But what about you?”

“I’ll be okay, you get out of here.”

Eren sprinted out of the group and Levi relaxed into a fighter’s stance, right fist in front of his face.

He got into the zone, intent on just fighting.  The first man went down hard, punched right in the jaw by Levi.  The powerful cross managed to crack the trucker’s jaw and two bones in Levi’s left hand but he didn’t notice.  He turned slightly and threw a uppercut.  The second man got a broken nose but was still standing.  The third man got Levi by throwing his arms around him from the back.  Levi could only thrash and curse.  The fourth guy hit him right in the mouth and he sagged,  Number three dropped him and the three remaining men set upon him punching and kicking.

Eren went berserk.

Screaming at the tops of his lungs, he waded in, throwing punches wildly. Got number two in his nose again and he went down.  He went for the other two guys but they’d drawn a crowd, including a highway patrolman on his lunch break.  Numbers three and four suddenly cut and ran, leaving Eren panting over Levi.

Eren fell to his knees beside his crumpled form.  He looked so small curled up in the dirt.

“Levi?  Levi, can you hear me?”

Levi groaned and put a hand to his mouth.  His lips were split, swollen and bleeding.  He’d been kicked and punched all over his body, including his head, which had taken a hard kick.  Blood puddled up under his head and his left hand.  He looked blurrily at Eren but didn’t look as if he recognized him.  His mouth moved painfully but he didn’t make any sound.

“You’re okay.  You’re good.  You got ganged up on.  You tried to save me!”  Eren tearily gathered as much of Levi as he could onto his lap, wiping ineffectually at his battered face.

The crowd had dissipated.  Only the state trooper remained.  “This guy your friend?”

Eren thought hard.  He couldn’t say partner for fear of homophobia.  He couldn’t say brother because they looked nothing alike.  Finally he simply sobbed out; “yes.”

The officer, familiar with the dynamic of truck stops, spoke softly  “You got this, kid?”

Eren nodded.

Eren took Levi’s credit card out of his wallet and went to the front desk to reserve their room for a week.  They even got a discounted rate.  Then he took the car to the nearest Walgreens and bought everything he could think of for wound treatment, some soft snacks and some drinks.

Back at the motel room Levi was still sleep, head lolling on the pillow, face slack, looking like a kid.  Eren got a washcloth from the bathroom and wet it with cool water.  He sat on the edge of the bed and gently bathed Levi’s face.

Levi woke up part way through, opening his eyes a crack and putting a hand to his head.  He stared at Eren but still didn’t appear to recognize him. 
 
Eren fretted.  Should Levi be in a hospital?  That kick to his head had been sickening to see.  Could he have a concussion?

Eren lifted Levi’s shirt and tentatively traced the huge bruises on his sides and on his hips.  Eren fetched another washrag, filled the ice bucket up with water and a few pieces of ice, and carefully began cleaning Levi’s battered face.

By the morning Eren had cleaned all the crusted blood off of Levi and put ice on his mouth and his hand.  His swelling had gone down a lot.  Everything was swollen, his face, his body, his left hand.  He was miserable.  He awoke to Eren bathing his face with a damp washrag.

He grunted and turned away, rolling over on his other side.

Eren rested his hand on his arm.  “Please Levi, let me help you.”

Levi responded by curing up tighter with a low groan.

Eren stood, uncertain.

Did Levi blame him for his injuries?

They were surely his fault.  He’d been stupid enough to drop his guard and walk through those parked trucks with the truckers thinking that he was Levi’s bitch.

Perhaps bathing his wounds was the wrong approach.  Maybe Levi just needed to be left alone to heal.  Eren chewed his lip and worried.  He wasn’t a medical expert and didn’t have a laptop to Google it.  He tried with his phone but he wasn’t getting a signal.  It must be the ice storm.

He decided to leave Levi alone until he was able to talk to him and tell him what he wanted, what he needed.

Their room had two beds but Eren slipped into the other side of Levi’s bed.  He looked down at him and marveled at how innocent he looked, how young.  Hell, he didn’t even know how old Levi was.  But now, relaxed on the bed, his sooty eyelashes resting on pale cheeks he looked like an angel.

Eren blinked.  Had he just thought of Levi as an angel?  The grumpy foul mouthed man?  But he was.  He had helped Eren when he’d , been assaulted, he’d rushed to defend him when those guys had tried to jump him.  Was he doing all of this so he could get in Eren’s pants?  Eren shook his head.  No, he’d had plenty of chances to romance Eren (or even outright coerce him) and had never taken them.  Besides he had a fuckton of eager ass and pussy at every stop (and he talked shit about his dick!)  He didn’t need Eren.

Didn’t need Eren.

Nobody seemed to need him.  His father certainly hadn’t.

He heard Tholly scratching in his litterbox.  “Pspspsps.”  The miniscule cat ran over.  Eren would swear that he’d grown since they found him.  He put him up on the bed.  “Now don’t bother papa, Thol.”  The little morsel walked up Eren’s body till he was right under his chin and settled down purring like a tiny little chainsaw.  At least Tholly needed him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Levi awoke in the dark.  The sun had gone down and Eren had fallen asleep without turning on any lights.  The light in the bathroom was on, though, shining like a comforting beacon.  The bathroom.  Levi needed to piss in the worst way.  He carefully straightened out in the bed onto his back, groaning.  He turned his head left.  Eren was asleep in the bed with him, just inches away, hand tucked under his chin like a little kid.  Tholly was playing with a lock of his har.  When the little cat realized he was awake he bounced across the narrow space between them and put his little white paws on Levi’s arm.  Levi tried to smile but his face hurt too badly.  Everything hurt too badly.  He gazed longingly at the bathroom again.

There was nothing for it.  He had to get up.  Either that or piss the bed.

It took him three tries just to sit up.  Finally, gasping in pain, he shuffled his legs off of the bed.  Fortunately his legs seemed to be more or less pain free.  It was his head and his body that made him feel as if he’d been run over by elephants.  He leaned forward, tipping his body out of the bed at a precipitous angle.  Finally, using his relatively useful right am he braced himself on the bedside table and hoisted himself to his feet.  Pain sang through his ribs and sides and Levi gritted his teeth and tried taking a step.  Walking wasn’t appreciably more stressful than standing so he crept forward, finally ending up at the bathroom door.  He gripped the doorjamb, breathing hard.  Was this what it felt like to be old?

Curiously, he inspected his left arm, which was completely out of commission.  His hand was bloody and swollen and badly bruised.  He was sure he’d cracked a couple of bones in there.  There was also a huge bruise on his upper arm courtesy of the heavy boots one of the men had worn.

He inched toward the toilet.  Fortunately the sink was to the right so Levi could lean against it with his good arm.  Cursing, he attempted to fumble his zip open but his left hand wouldn’t cooperate.  He let go the sink and awkwardly got his dick out with his right hand.  He wasn’t used to handling his own dick with his non-dominant hand and almost missed the toilet when he first started to piss.  Finally he got everything coordinated and sighed in relief as he emptied his bladder.

“Levi?  Levi where are you?”  It was Eren.  The lights in the main room came on.  Levi cringed.  Was the kid angry or disappointed in him?  He had tried to be the hero and had gotten his ass handed to him.

“Bathroom,”  he muttered.

Eren appeared in the doorway.  “I was afraid you’d wandered off.  I think you’ve got a concussion.”

“No.  No way I could make a great escape in this condition,  I just had to piss.”  He slid gingerly to the right and washed his hand.  He tried running the left one up under the tap but the water stung like a motherfucker and he gave up.

“Come get back in bed.”

Levi liked the way that sounded in more ways than one.  If the kid was disappointed then he hid it well.

“Tholly?”  Eren put his fists on his hips.  “Bartholomew?  Now where are

you

?”  A small bump in the bedspread moved erratically around.  Eren laughed and lifted up the spread.  Tholly was under there, randomly attacking the wrinkles in the bedsheet.

“Look out mole-cat.” Levi said, pulling back the covers and climbing stiffly back into bed.  The little grey and white morsel attacked his toes because they dared to be in his socks. “Ow, ow, ow!  You little savage!" Levi cried.  “Eren get your brat cat!  He’s killing my toes!  One of the few places that doesn’t hurt!”
 
Eren retrieved his cat and crossed to the table by the window.  “You up for chicken?  It’s cold now but cold chicken is still good.”  He fed Tholly a sliver of chicken.

Levi grunted and held out his hand. “Is there a biscuit in there?”

Eren handed him a fluffy biscuit, and, knowing Levi, a handful of napkins.  Tholly immediately wanted some biscuit.

“Control your cat, Yeager.” Levi growled in mock-severity.  Eren held up one finger and grabbed what looked like a cross between a duffle and a diaper bag except it had mesh inserts instead of nylon or canvas.  Eren unzipped it and inserted Tholly.  “Pet carrier!”

“A cat bag.  You have a … bag.  For your cat.” Levi said wonderingly.

“I had to use your credit card …”

Levi waved one hand “Ahh, use my credit card for whatever you like.  Don’t try to buy a Ferrari or anything but you want a refrigerator?  Buy yourself a refrigerator.”

Eren laughed. “Why a refrigerator?”

“I dunno.  It was the first big thing I could think of.”

“So stay away from car dealerships but I can go in Lowe’s, gotcha.
 
Levi recovered slowly over the week, feeling a bit better every day.  His head got clearer.  He still spent the lion’s share of his time in the bed with Tholly (while keeping his toes safe.)  Eren slept in the bed with him.  Neither one of them had discussed this arrangement but Eren slept there anyway.  Levi was secretly elated.  He worried daily that Eren was embarrassed of his poor effort in the parking lot and was just not telling him.  He spent his days fantasizing of Eren being with him.

Levi had absolute confidence in his ability to sell uniforms.  He was a slick salesman and sold more than anyone else in the company.  But when it came to Eren he was cowed.

What if the beautiful young man didn’t like him?  What if he thought Levi, with his short stature, pale skin, and black hair was weird looking?  What if his dick was too small?

He drove himself insane worrying about it.  Then he’d slap himself on the head and remind himself that the thought of such a fine young man wanting anything to do with him was laughable.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Levi was too lacking in confidence to tell Eren how he felt so they just drifted on in a sort of unsure equilibrium.  Finally at the end of the week, Levi was up to driving and they left the motel and got back on the road.

They passed into Oklahoma about midday.
 
Eren let Tholly out of his cat-bag when they were in the car with the windows rolled up (as they were now—it was cold as fuck) and the little cat clambered all over the place, often perching on Levi’s shoulder and just watching the road.  He especially charmed fast food workers who were fascinated that they had a cat in the car.  Eren was a terrible cat-daddy and fed Tholly bits of chicken, random fries, bites of fast food hamburgers.  He even tried ice cream although that just made Tholly sneeze.

“Damn cat’s gonna get heart disease,” Levi groused.
 
Levi was out of benzos, and at their next stop he solicited every likely person.  He finally got twenty Xanax by sleeping with a very handsome trans man who was on his way to California.

They did it twice, a rarity for Levi, and lay in bed afterwards talking.

“So what’s in California?”

“Sun, sand, cool people.”

“I guess that’s why you didn’t choose South Carolina or Florida.  Idiot right-wing assholes.”

The man nodded, sadly.  “My family is from North Carolina—Winston-Salem—but I couldn’t go to the beach in that state.  Too many judgmental boomers.”  He sighed and Levi rubbed his arm.
 
Eren was tight-lipped about the newly acquired pills and Levi guiltily crushed up four and snorted them, desperate for a high after being without.  He passed out on Eren’s side of the bed, snuggling blearily into the pillow that smelled so much like Eren.
 
The next day, Levi had a stop to make at a client’s and invited Eren inside.  The client was a large, fancy hotel in Tulsa, Oklahoma a good way off of Route 40 and gotten to through various Native American nations

Levi had changed into a bright white dress shirt and black slacks with a royal blue tie.

“You look amazing!  Are you sure I’m not underdressed?”

“Nah, you’re fine.”

They were sitting in deep comfortable chairs at right angles to each other with the arms just touching.  Levi tried to keep his leg from brushing Eren’s.

It was going to be a few minutes so Levi scoped the lobby out while waiting on the manager, nodding coyly at good looking woman and men alike.

“You’re always on the prowl,” Eren said.

“Yep.”

“You know you don’t have to prove anything to anybody.”

Levi frowned and chewed his lip.  “I have to prove something to myself.”

Eren gripped his arm in both hands.  “No you don’t.  There’s nothing wrong with you … well except for the drugs and the stealing.

“See?  I’m a loser.”

Eren inhaled sharply to reply and the manager come across the checkerboard tile floor and Levi stood up.  They shook hands.

“Now who’s this young man?”

“New hire just learning the ropes.”

The manager rubbed his hands together. “Wonderful!  Well, the kitchen is the one that desperately needs uniforms.  Let’s go talk to Chef.”

Levi sealed the deal, of course, and Eren found himself listening intently to his silky smooth sales banter.  He also found himself impressed.  How could this man have a low opinion of himself?

Levi picked up one of the sous chefs in the hotel kitchen, a tall, striking man with tan skin and dark brown hair.  They checked into a motel on the outskirts of Tulsa and Levi changed clothes and walked to the door.  “Don’t wait up.”
 
Levi returned about midnight, stinking of sex.  He went immediately to bathe.  Eren, still up, punched the buttons on the remote a bit too violently.

When Levi emerged from the bathroom he pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. Eren scowled at the love bites on his neck and the scratches on his sides.

“Looks like you had a good time.  Or he did.”

Levi frowned at him.  “Why do you care all of a sudden?”

“Yeah.  Why should I care?  You fuck everybody.”

“Exactly, why should you care?  I use a condom.  I never bring them back here.  I’m not hurting anybody …”

Eren picked at his cuticles.  “You’d make such a good partner if you’d just stop all the stealing and drugs and sleeping around.  There are people who could be there for you … be a partner.”

“Who the fuck are you talking about?  I’ve never seen ‘em.  And I’d make a shitty partner.  Would you like to be with a man who is on the road all the time, is short and funny looking, and has a small dick?”

Eren heaved himself out of bed and walked up to him. Towering over him (Eren was 5’10” and Levi was 5’3”) he dipped down.  Levi withdrew instinctively but Eren grabbed his arms, drew him close, and kissed him.

Eren’s lips were full and warm and just

Eren

.

Levi made a little startled sound against Eren’s mouth and tried to deepen the kiss but Eren pulled away and went over to the bed and gathered his bags.

“Wait … what are you doing?  Eren!  Eren, please!”

Eren opened the door.  The cold rain swept down and dripped off the edge of the overhang.  Eren stepped out into the downpour and crossed quickly to the diner.  Levi followed without even putting his shoes on.

“Eren!”

Eren paused, under the porch of the diner.  Levi stood in the pouring rain, drenched, looking sad and sorry for himself.

“Eren …”

“All this!” Eren yelled over the rain “The drugs and the sex!  I could … I could

love

you but I can’t be with you like this!”

Levi felt hot tears flowing down his face, the cold rain washing them away as soon as they appeared.  “I … I … can do better!”

Eren also started tearing up.  He turned abruptly and hurried into the diner.

Levi shouted into the rain “

I know I’m good for something!

”
 
Levi walked down the side of the road to a nearby liquor store and bought a big bottle of vodka.  He felt like walking in his soggy socks.  The cold rain was what he deserved.  The clerk looked askance at him—he was dripping wet, pale skin glowing like a ghost, black hair swept down into spikes—but sold it to him anyway.

Levi walked back up the road, squelching through mud.  What if he took all of his Xanax like, the whole bottle, and washed it down with vodka?  He would go to sleep like he always did but … never wake up.  That sounded peaceful.  He wouldn’t be disappointing Eren anymore.  He’d leave his cash and credit card for Eren.  Maybe write out a will on a napkin.  Would that count?
 
He got into the motel room, stripped off his soaking t-shirt, and sat on the edge of Eren’s bed.  He fished the bottle of Xanax out of his jeans.  Sixteen pills.  Surely that would do the job.  He poured them out onto his hand.  Tholly sniffed at the toe of his waterlogged left sock.  “Time to go, Thol.”

Abruptly the door swung open and Eren stood there.  “I just came to get Thol—”  He stared at Levi who stared at him.  “What are you doing?”

Levi closed his fingers over the handful of Xanax.

“Are those your pills?  Levi?  What are you thinking?”

Tears trailed down Levi’s cheeks.  “I was raised by my uncle, did I ever tell you that?”

Eren closed the door gently and sat on the edge of Levi’s bed.  “No you didn’t”

“He told me every day what a loser I was, what a disappointment. How I was a runt and no one would ever want to fuck me.  When I got older, if I hooked up he said they fucked me because they felt sorry for me.”

“Oh, Levi …”

“I want to be with you but I don’t want you to be disappointed in me.  I don’t want to be a pity fuck.  I couldn’t bear it if you left me.”

“So you’d rather take the cowards way out?” He gestured at the bottle of pills.

“No … I … I can try to …”

“No, don't try!  Actually do it!  Get rid of the drugs!”

“I swear … I swear, I can do better.  Give me a chance to do better!”

Eren looked at him soberly.  “Is this what you said to your girlfriend?  Did you beg her to give you a second chance even though it was

her

doing the cheating and

her

doing the lying?”

Levi’s breath caught in his throat.

How did Eren know?

Truth was that Levi had walked after her on his knees, pleading.

“You have low self confidence Levi which is

shit

because you are a wonderful person.  Give up the drugs, the stealing, the sex!”

“But the sex doesn’t hurt anyone …”

“It hurts

me

!  Levi, it tears my heart apart!

“But we’ve never even done it.  You might be disappointed.”

“I won’t.  You don’t get people fucking you left and right and be a disappointment.  People fall all over you.   I want you to myself.”

“I … I’ll give up the drugs!  And the stealing and the sleeping around!”

“Fine but I want something in return.”

“What?”

“You.”

Eren picked up Tholly, stepped into the bathroom and firmly closed the door.

Levi blinked.

Had that just happened?  Had Eren just said he wanted to be with a loser like him?

He carefully poured the sixteen Xanax back into their bottle.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Eren sat on the toilet lid and let Bartholomew down onto the floor.  It was clear that the little cat didn’t like the cold tile as much as the carpet in the main area.  He nosed under the door briefly before Eren distracted him by wrapping him up in toilet paper.

“Cat mummy,” Eren said then got sad again.  “Oh, Thol, what am I supposed to do?  I can’t go home.  I don’t want to try hitchhiking again.  I want to be with Levi.”

Tholly laid on his back and enthusiastically shredded his toilet paper wrapping.

“Don’t you want to be with Papa, too?”

The little cat stilled, looking at him as if he had understood what he had said. “Merp?”

Eren scratched his belly which earned him a bite.  “Ow, you little darling!  You’re dangerous!”

Eren recalled Tholly attacking Levi’s toes (an occupation he delighted in to that day) and smiled.  Levi had been so forgiving of Tholly and understanding of Eren wanting to keep him.  He made the best cat-papa.  He even fussed at Eren when he was feeding Thol things like tater tots or cold pancakes.
 
Eren and Tholly emerged from the bathroom after a while and Levi looked anxiously at Eren.

Was he okay?  Did he even realize what he had said?

“Did you take some pills?” Eren asked tiredly.

“No.”

Eren perked up a bit and Levi’s heart soared.

“Good!”

Bartholomew had a thing about socks.  He would steal socks (most of which were larger than him) and hide them under the beds.
 
Levi slept fitfully without the benzos, thrashing in the bed and muttering.  Eren was trying to find his socks and was gingerly feeling up under Levi’s bed for socks that Tholly had stolen when Levi awoke with a start.  He stared at Eren wild-eyed as if he didn’t know who he was.

“It’s okay Levi, it’s just me.”  He sat on the edge of the bed.  “Would you like a cool cloth for your face?”

Levi nodded jerkily, still a little out of it. “Uh-huh”

Eren fetched a clean washcloth and wet it with cool water.  He sat back on the edge of Levi’s bed and gently wiped his face.

“You’re too good to me,” Levi mumbled.

“Bullshit.  I’m just as good to you as you deserve.”

“Feeling anxious.”

“How long has it been since you took any pills?”

Levi couldn’t remember.  “My brain is fuzzy.  Night before last?”

“At least twenty-four hours,” Eren murmured.  “You’re doing great.” He wiped Levi’s pale, sharp face again.  His bruises were fading.  He was sure Levi had lost weight since he’d met him, his cheek bones and collar bones stuck out starkly.  As if in response to that thought, Levi suddenly covered his mouth.  “Gonna puke.”

Eren grabbed the trash can out of the bathroom and Levi emptied his stomach into it.

“Shit.”

“Are you getting sick or is this the withdra—”

Levi yarked again, gagging and spitting.  “Jesus, I hate puking.”

Eren smoothed his hair back.  “Be patient, it’ll be over soon.  Just as soon as we get you off of those drugs.”

“That’ll take, what?  Two weeks?  A Month?  Shit!”  He held out his shaking hands, the left one swollen and bruised.  “I can’t work like this.  Speaking of work, are you sure the trunk is locked on the car?  I don’t want any fuckers stealing my samples.”

Eren rubbed his arm soothingly.  “I’ll go double check.”

He bundled up in his coat and took the car keys while Tholly grappled up onto Levi’s bed.
 
When Eren got back Levi was trying to distract Tholly from attacking his toes.  Itty bitty cat teeth and claws pierced the bedspreads just fine they had discovered.  Despite clearly feeling like warmed over shit, Levi played with the little grey cat, chuckling at his antics.

Eren smiled.  “Okay, I’m going to run to the store and get some supplies.”

“Like what?” Levi asked anxiously.

“Like Pepto for your stomach and some broth and chicken soup.  Will you eat bananas?”

“I haven’t had them for years but I loved them as a kid.”

“And some saltines.”

Levi said something under his breath.

“Pardon?”

“My mom always called them soda crackers.  But I don’t feel like eating.  I don’t think I could even choke down any broth.”

Eren set his mouth into a hard line. “Well, you can’t

not

eat.  I’ll be right back.”

Levi clutched at the bedspread. “Hurry back.  Drive safe.  Like really safe.  There could be ice.”

Eren pushed a lock of Levi’s hair behind his ear.  “I will.  Don’t worry.”
 
They decided to stay at that motel two weeks, until Levi was feeling more human.  It was a very clean place, had excellent room cleaning service and sat between a good diner and a big truck stop.

Levi was napping uneasily and Eren decided to run over to the diner and get himself a sandwich.  Eren figured a nice plain grilled cheese might  tempt Levi to take a few bites.
 
As he was waiting for his food, Eren went into the souvenier shop of the truckstop and idly browsed the items.  Shot glasses, keychains, vaguely Native American jewelry, magnets, right wing bumper stickers.  Then Eren saw it.  It was the only one.  A little figure made of seashells.  Two clam shells formed the top and bottom of its head leaving a jaggedy grin and two googly eyes were stuck to the top.  The rest of its body were oblong Olive shells.  It was the sort of thing that was everywhere in coastal towns.  Why it was here? Maybe it was a sign.  Didn’t Levi mention the his mom was from Charleston SC?  That was on the coast.  Would Levi find it funny and nostalgic?

Eren came in the door, smiling.  He had a bag from the truck stop with something bumpy in it.  Levi watched curiously.

“Y’know how they say when you detox you need someone there to keep you on track and hold you accountable?”

“I’ve got you.” Levi’s breath quickened, panicky. “Don’t I?”

“Of course!  But now you also have Shell Man.”

Eren took out the little figure and set it on the bedside table.  Levi stared at it for a minute then burst out laughing.  “The fuck?  You nut case!”  He picked it up and inspected it, showing it to Tholly (who thought it might be edible.)  “These were everywhere in Charleston, like at every store.  Even restaurants sold them.  Ugly things, I don’t know why people loved them so much.” Levi clutched the figurine gently to his chest. “Thank you, Eren.”
 
Levi’s anxiety peaked after a week.  He would ask Eren to check that the door was locked multiple times a day.  He’d get up in the night and check the room door again and check on Tholly and Eren “Just to make sure you’re breathing.”

His hands were shaking so badly that he couldn’t bring a cup of broth to his lips without spilling it on himself.  Eren patiently held his cup for him.  He didn’t sleep worth shit and had no apatite at all;  at one point Eren was dipping soda crackers in broth and feeding them to him.

He threw up a lot.  Eren struggled to keep him hydrated.
 
It was a Saturday, eight days from when Levi gave up the benzos.  He was lying in bed, a thin sheen of sweat on his face.  He was not happy.  “You should leave,” he insisted.  “Take Thol and find someone decent to travel with!  This is too much.”

Eren narrowed his eyes at him and touched the shell figurine on the bedside table.  “Shell Man disapproves.”

Tears began leaking down Levi’s face.  “I’m being serious.  I’m not worth it.  I’m fucking up your life.”

Eren sat on the edge of the bed.  “Getting raped would have fucked up my life and you saved me from that

twice

.  I’m not going anywhere unless you look me in the eye and say ‘I don’t want you here.’”

“Eren … you know I can’t say that.”

“You’re not getting rid of me then.  You make me feel like a normal person.  You listen to me, respect me, which is more than my father ever did.”

“I don’t want to be your surrogate dad,” Levi muttered,

“And I don’t want you to be.  If I did then what I think about in the shower—about you—would be problematic!”

Levi blushed deeply and concentrated on his hands in his lap, tongue-tied.  “I think about you, too,” he whispered.

It was Eren’s turn to blush.  “Really?  I-I didn’t know.  I mean, I thought you wanted me to be with you—travel with you!—and I thought Stu was just kidding, but I didn’t know you actually felt …”

“I think about you all the time.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

A few days later, Eren and Levi were sitting up in their beds, backs against the headboards, watching television.  It was eleven days since Levi’s last dose of benzodiazapine.  His nausea was fading and he was able to eat a small amount.  His sleep had become less restless.

Unfortunately his sleep patterns had skewed back to the way they had been when he was younger, before the drugs.  He suffered from insomnia.

“It started when momma was sick.  I was terrified to sleep in case she needed me, in case she … died.”  He picked at the bedspread.  “I don’t know how I slept as a baby but after all that happened with momma, I couldn’t sleep more than four hours a night.”

“Is that why you chose the benzos?”

“Yep.  Yelena had a script for Valium and I would take one every now and then.  Then that became every night, then two a night …”

“How did the doctors not notice?  That’s a lot of valium.”

“‘Lena had two or three doctors giving her the same prescription.  I think she was handing out blowjobs left and right and selling the pills.”  Levi looked miserably down at his hands.  Eren scooted over from his bed and sat on the edge of Levi’s.

“Well, you'll never have to worry about her again.”  Eren hesitated and then leaned forward, tilting his head, intent on kissing him.  Levi shied away at first then Eren simply took him by the chin and turned him back.  The kiss was sweet and inexperienced and Levi tentatively deepened it, hesitantly running his tongue along Eren’s lower lip, asking for entrance.  Eren responded and Levi snaked his arms around him and gently probed into his mouth with his tongue.  Eren made a little sound of pleasure, a low moan, and felt the bulge in Levi’s pants rubbing his hip.
 
Slowly Eren began copying Levi's kissing technique, getting better by the minute.  He tore his mouth messily off of Levi's.

“Please, please Levi, let me blow you!”

“Jesus Kid, you’re gonna kill me.” Levi kissed him again.  Eren’s mouth was so warm and soft.  “I don’t want you to rush into anything you’re not ready for.”

“I’m ready.  Teach me Levi.”

“I‘m serious I don’t want you to feel like I’m rushing you.”

Eren leaned in and kissed him, hard, and Levi couldn’t help but push against Eren’s hip, his cock seeking that friction.  Abruptly Eren’s hand dropped to the bulge in Levi’s trousers, squeezing and rubbing.  Levi’s hips bucked up without his permission.

“Ahh!  Eren!”

“Fine, If i can’t blow you and learn how, then I’ll jerk you off.”  He ran a finger up Levi’s zip and grasped the pull tab.  “At least I know how to do this.  I’ve been jerking myself off for quite a while.”

He tugged Levi’s zip down to fondle his bulge then pulled the fly in his underpants to one side.  Levi’s cock, hot and hard, and leaking pre-cum tipped out.
 
Eren had expected Levi’s dick to be small with all the disparaging remarks from it’s owner.  Honestly his almost-virgin ass would be grateful for a four inch dick.

Boy was he wrong.

Levi’s dick wasn’t large—right at five and a half inches—but it was broad and curved upward.  Thick veins wound down the shaft and the head was wide and flared and Eren sucked in his breath at the sight.

“My dick’s not too bad, is it?” Levi asked nervously.

Eren exhaled.  “Oh my god, it’s perfect.”
 
Eren grasped Levi’s cock enthusiastically, pumping experimentally.  He was circumcised which was a new situation for Eren.  Levi scooted down the bed.

“Wait a minute, lie down, on your side.  Feet up here.”

Eren laid down the opposite from the way Levi was lying—feet by the headboard.  Propped up on one elbow, Eren gripped Levi’s cock and ran his palm over the head, spreading pre-cum.  Levi hissed at the sensation.  Eren teased a bit more till Levi growled at him to “get on with it before I explode all over your pretty face.”

“I’d like for you to come on my face,” Eren said toyingly.  “Would you like that?”

“I’d like for you to fucking move!  Here let me show you how to tease!”  Levi suddenly grabbed him firmly by the bulge in his jeans and Eren yelped.

“Levi!”

“What’s good for the goose …”

Levi’s experienced fingers massaged and fondled until Eren’s straining cock was clearly fully hard in his trousers.  He slowly pulled the zip down, making Eren grip his lower lip in his teeth to try to stay in control.

“Levi … please.”

Levi fished Eren’s rock hard cock out of his underpants and took a moment to appreciate it.  Longer than his, but not as big around, it was as tan as the rest of Eren.  Levi gave it a few pumps, pulling the foreskin all the way back.  Eren whined and tried to reciprocate, squeezing Levi’s cock just right and starting a slow rhythm.

For a breathless few minutes they both slowly coaxed each other toward orgasm.  Eren was awkward (having never jerked anyone other than himself off) but determined.  Levi was awkward because he could only use his right hand.

“Oh, Eren, that feels good!”

“S-same … Levi you’re gonna make me come.”

“That’s the point brat.”

“Tell me what you like,” Eren gasped.

“Tighter, concentrate on the head.  God, just like that!”

“I’m close!” Eren said.

“Fuck!  Eren, fuck! I’m gonna come!”  Levi came explosively between them and Eren followed immediately after.  They both gasped and panted, coming down from their highs.

Eren rolled over on his back and spoke to the ceiling.  “My god that was good.  So good.  Much better than me whacking off by myself.”

Levi suddenly snorted.  “Whacking off.”

“What?”

“That’s funny.  I’ve never heard that one before.”

“You don’t get out much do you, old man?”

Levi glomped on to him and they wrestled all over the bed till they woke Tholly.

Eren and Levi lay in each other’s arms watching the television and talking during commercials about what stops that had yet to make.

Levi hugged Eren with his right arm (his left hand was still badly swollen and painful) and kissed him.  “I’m glad you’re with me.”

Eren snuggled down and pillowed his head on Levi’s chest.  “I’d like being a salesman’s wife.”

“Wife?  We havent even done it yet.  You might be disappointed. …”

“Disappointed?  Seriously?  I’ve had that fabulous cock in my hand!  Unless you’re planning on fucking me with someone elses’ cock…”

Levi laughed and stroked his hair.  “You weirdo.”

“Your weirdo.”

“My weirdo.”

They decided, for supper, to walk over to the restaurant and have a sit-down meal.  Eren got anything and everything that came with gravy and Levi picked at the fried chicken.  They talked and ate and played footsie under the table.

As they left the restaurant, they passed a police car in the parking lot, just idling.  As they went by it turned on its light bar and blipped the siren.  Both men stopped, confused.  Another car, a plain sedan, crept up on their right and turned on it’s blue lights, situated in the corners of the windshield.  Confusion turned to alarm.

“Oh, shit,” Levi said.  He dug in his pockets and handed Eren his wallet and the keys to the room and the car.

“Why are you …?”

“Just take them.  You’ll need them.”

“But … !”

“I’ve done this before, remember?” Levi said grimly.

They stared at each other, their faces sickly under the wash of the lights.
 
A man in plainclothes with a badge on his hip stepped out of the unmarked car and approached them.  “Levi Ackerman?”

Levi nodded.  Eren gripped his arm so tight that it would bruise.  A uniformed officer got out of the marked cop car and pulled Levi’s hands behind his back, clicking him into handcuffs.

“What are you doing?!” Eren cried.  “What has he done?”

Levi said nothing, but stood with his head down as the uniform read him his rights.

The plainclothes man held up a warning hand to Eren.  “And you are?”

“Yeager.  Eren Yeager.  Tell me what he’s accused of!”

The man got a small notebook out of his pocket.  “What is your relationship to Mr. Ackerman?”

“He’s … he’s my … boyfriend.”

“Why don’t you come with us down to the station, Mr. Yeager.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The officer who got Levi out of the squad car at the police station wasn’t gentle.  He manhandled Levi into the door and down a narrow hall painted a sickly green up to shoulder height then a dirty white above that.  They stopped at a half door and another officer patted Levi down and removed his two knives, his belt and coat and shoes.  Levi thanked the powers that be that his bottle of benzos was back at the motel room.

They continued down the hall, passing several doors.  Levi tried to see inside but the small windows were too high—eye level on a tall man.  They stopped at a door about halfway down the hall on the left hand side.  The officer pushed Levi into the doorway and removed his cuffs.  The heavy door shut with a clang.

Levi took a deep breath and turned around.  He was in what was essentially an isolation cell.  There was a toilet, a sink, and a narrow bed with the thin mattress rolled up.

He wondered where Eren was.

Were they questioning him?  Would he spill about the stealing and the drugs?  Had they thrown him into a cell as well?

Levi shivered suddenly.  It was chilly in the sterile space.

He unrolled the mattress onto the bare springs of the bed and sat, staring at the door.
 
There were two apertures in the door.  The one up high that allowed the guards to see in and one at crotch level with a small shelf.  After what seemed like hours, the covering over the lower opening slid back and a small metal tray was shoved through.  Levi got up just as the covering closed.  He inspected the tray.  It was, he assumed, food.  Well, at least they hadn’t forgotten about him.

There was a watery substance like very thin gravy with unknowable chunks of something in it.  There was also a piece of plain white bread, a spoon, and a small cup of water.  Levi sighed.  He would give almost anything to be out of this place.

Eren was led much more gently to a small white room with a table and two chairs and a large two way mirror on the wall.  He had watched enough TV that he recognized an interrogation room.  He was left alone looking at the two-way mirror and wondering who was looking back.

After a while, two men entered the room, both in plain clothes.  One, a tall, dark-skinned fellow moved his sports coat out of the way to reveal a gun in a holster on his hip like a gunslinger.

“What was your name again? We’re just here to talk,” he said.

“Eren Yeager,” Eren said in a small voice.  “What have we done wrong?”

The other man, a scrawny blond, with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth, and a porn ‘stache, eyeballed him.  “I don’t know.  What have you done wrong?”

Eren shrank back, pressing his lips together.

Levi tried to eat the food, dipping the slice of white bread into the thin gravy but it was more than he could stand.  He managed to choke down the bread and some gravy and the cup of water—eating awkwardly with his right hand, but after a bit he gave up and put the metal tray back on the shelf in the door and laid down on the bed.

A while later (there was no clock or window and Levi didn’t wear a watch) the lock on the door clicked heavily.  Levi, who had been dozing, sat up.

A uniformed officer—presumably a guard—entered with handcuffs.  Levi swallowed hard.

Surely there was no need for this level of security for a junkie like him?  He wasn’t going to freak out.

“Now we don’t want any trouble do we?”  The officer rumbled.

“Trouble?” Levi said hesitantly.

The man gestured at Levi’s bruised face and his swollen and broken left hand.  “You’re a fighter.  We got reports.  We don’t need no fighting.”

Levi stood quietly while the man roughly snapped the cuffs on.  The man dragged him out by one bound arm, no more gentle than before, and hustled him down the hall, Levi slipping in his cheap disposable slippers they had given him.

They turned a corner and entered a room on the left.  It was a plain white box with a stainless steel table, bolted to the floor, and two chairs, one on each side.  There was also a two-way mirror on the wall.  The officer hustled Levi into the chair facing the mirror and connected his cuffs to a ring on the table.   Levi brought his hands together, and looked anxiously towards the door.  The uniformed officer had left without a word.

Levi waited, shivering every now and then. He wondered if they kept these rooms uncomfortably cool on purpose.  After awhile he tried to flex his left hand a bit but hissed in pain.  Most people were right handed—as was the guard who escorted him there—so he had grabbed Levi by his dominant arm, his left, and the pressure of the cuff on his swollen hand and wrist had been excruciating.

Levi’s leg jittered up and down.  He would kill for a Xanax.

“You say that Mr. Ackerman is your boyfriend”

Eren nodded.

“How long have you been in this relationship?”

“Well … we just got together.  We’ve known each other for a while.”

“How long, Mr. Yeager?”

“A-a few weeks.”

“That’s moving pretty fast.”

“He’s a good man!”

“Did your good man murder Stuart Alderson?”

“Wuh … what?!  Who?”

“Stuart Alderson, caucasian, about 45, 5’7”, 260lbs.”

“Oh, you mean Stu.”

The two men stared at him and Eren didn’t know what to say.  He had assumed this was about the drugs or the thefts.  It was about Stu.

What should he do?  Lie to the police?  But they hadn’t done anything wrong!

He remembered the Miranda warning “anything you say can and will be used against you.”

He kept his mouth firmly shut.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After a long while, the door opened and a tall, dark-skinned man came in to the room where Levi was.  He didn’t speak but crossed to the table and set a thin manilla folder and an ancient tape recorder down.  Levi shifted nervously, the chains on his cuffs clinking softly through the restraining ring.  The air vent hummed.

The man sat on the corner of the table and laced his fingers in his lap.

“I’m detective Williams and I’m in charge of your case.  You’re not here to cause trouble are you, Mr. Ackerman?”

“No, sir.  I swear, sir.”

“Why don’t we get you out of those cuffs while we talk, okay?”

“Yes, sir, thank you.”

Williams unfastened the cuffs and then clicked a button on the tape recorder.  “Interview begins 6:46 pm.  Please state your name for the record.”

“L-levi Ackerman.”

The detective gestured at Levi’s left hand.

“You’ve messed that hand up good.  How did you do that, Mr. Ackerman?”

“A group of guys tried to jump my … my …”

“You’re not comfortable calling him your boyfriend?  Lover?”

Levi blushed.  “I have bad luck with boyfriends and lovers,” he mumbled.

“He seems to really love you.  He wouldn’t tell us a thing.”

Levi looked up and searched the man’s face earnestly, looking for deception.

Eren loved him?

Detective Williams moved to the chair, picking up the folder and leafing through it.  Levi braced himself for the worst.  Stealing drugs was kind of a big deal.

“Do you know a Stuart Alderson?” Williams asked, almost casually.

Levi blinked.

What?

“Stu? Yeah he and I are buddies.  He’s a salesman too, so we see each other on the road.”

The officer carefully wrote everything down.  “Was Mr. Alderson a drug user?”

“Stu?  No way!  He is straight as an arrow.”

“And are you a drug user Mr. Ackerman?”

Levi hesitated.  “No sir.”

The man leveled a look at him.  “That’s not what we heard, Mr. Ackerman.”

“Have you been talking to truckers?  Yeah, I used to use but I’m clean now, just ask Eren.”

Suddenly Levi realized what the man had said

“

Was

Mr. Alderson a drug user.”

He had almost missed that and given them away.

“Wait.

Was

?  What do you mean

was

?!”

The dark skinned man scrutinized Levi so long that he felt like squirming.

“Mr. Alderson is deceased, Mr. Ackerman.”

Levi let his mouth fall open and let his breath quicken.  It wasn’t too hard.  Just hearing about Stu again upset him.

“What happened?”

“You tell me, Mr. Ackerman.”

Levi hesitated. “I h-have no idea.”

“He was found dead at Cunninghams truck stop on Route 40.  Do you know anything about that?”

Before Levi could speak, Williams whipped out a photo from the Manilla folder.  “He was found in his car, dead,” Williams lied and pushed the photo across the steel desk to Levi.

It showed Stu, apparently on an autopsy table, a neat hole in his forehead.  Levi cringed back from the picture and put his hands to his face.

Williams leaned forward. “According to witnesses, you and Eren Yeager were the last people anyone saw Stuart Alderson with.  Now who would shoot Mr. Alderson point blank in his car?  Was it you?”

“N-no!  I’m not a killer!  He wasn’t—”

“He wasn’t what, Mr. Ackerman?”

“I didn’t kill him!”

“Convince me, Mr. Ackerman.  He wasn’t what?”

Levi abruptly realized that the cop was lying to him, trying to trick him.  Stu was shot behind the building, not in his car.  He had almost blurted that out.

“He wasn’t a bad man!”

Williams sat back.  “Of course you would think that, he was your friend.  But your friend, Mr. Ackerman, was running cocaine for a mob boss.”

Williams slid the picture back toward himself and put it back in the folder.  “You would know a little bit about that wouldn’t you?”

Levi fidgeted, “Well, my uncle was into some bad stuff.  When I was younger.”

“Kenny Ackerman.”

Levi jerked in surprise.

How …?

“I don’t have anything to do with him!  I haven’t even seen him in years.”

“But you used to work with him?

Levi hesitated, chewing his lip.

“Yes.  He raised me.  I kind of didn’t have a choice.”

“And in that line of ‘work’ you also were arrested for possession of cocaine and spent time in the state pen.

Levi bowed his head.  “Yes, sir.”

“Do you still do cocaine, Mr. Ackerman?  Maybe a little snort here and there.  Maybe you were high when you killed Stuart Alderson.  Maybe he supplied you with the blow.”

“I didn’t kill him, I tell you!  
 
Williams sighed and stayed quiet for so long that it made Levi nervous.  Finally he spoke.  “So you’re stating for the record that you did not kill Stuart Alderson?”

“Yes, sir, I am.”
 
“You will have to give a recorded deposition under oath.”

Levi looked up, hope in his eyes.  “I can do that.”
 
That evening, they let Levi out of his cell and down to the small desk in the hall where the guard sat.  He was allowed to use the phone.

“Hello?”

“Eren.”

“Oh my god Levi!  Are you okay?  Have they hurt you?  How’s your hand?”

“Slow down, slow down, brat!” Levi laughed.  “I’m fine, my hand hurts like hell but it’s fine.  Are you alright?”

“Yes! Oh, Levi, I didn’t tell them anything …” There was a pause.  “More than I knew.”

“That’s good, kid.  You did good.”

“I want you home so bad.”

“Aww that’s sweet, kid.  Especially considering that home is a cheap motel room.  How's the money holding out?  You haven't tried to buy a Ferrari, have you?”

“Just the one … plus that refrigerator, the one with the ice maker.”

“You brat!”  Levi’s heart ached being away from Eren.

What had he done to deserve such a wonderful young man?

He wished he were there with him right then, he’d make slow, gentle love to him and they could sleep in each other’s arms…

The guard jiggled the curly cord between the phone and the handset startling Levi out of his fantasy.

“Listen, I gotta go.  I should be there in a few days, okay?  If I can call again I will.”

“I can’t wait!  Bye … I …”

Levi waited, with bated breath, wondering what it was that Eren was about to say, wishing he knew.  He was a hypocrite, of course.  He loved the brat with all his heart but he’d yet to say it.  He was too scared.  Scared that he was completely wrong and that Eren would laugh in his face.

At nine pm sharp the lights cut off in the cells.  Levi startled awake.  The only light came from the lamp on the desk of the guard down the hall and the moon shining through the barred window.  Levi dozed off again.

At six am the lights came back on.  Levi blinked in the harsh glare.  At seven a tray was pushed in his door.  He was starving and eagerly got up to inspect it.  There was a slightly yellowish mass that he assumed was eggs and a piece of burnt toast.  He ate it all, choking it down with water from the cup.

At eight the guard came for him, snapping the cuffs on  They went into the same interrogation room.

As before, Levi waited in silence for a while then Detective Williams came in.  He clicked the button on the tape recorder.  “Interview begins 8:06.”

“Good morning Mr. Ackerman”

“Good morning, sir.”

“Hand better?”

“Yes, sir, thank you.”

“Good news.  We cannot detain you any longer.  We only have 24 hours to charge you and there’s no evidence against you so far.

Levi’s breath sped up and his heart pounded.

“You may be brought back in for questioning at any time so don’t leave town.”

“But I have to travel to work.”

“Not until we solve this murder Mr. Ackerman.”

Detective Williams stepped around the stainless steel desk with a small key.  They key to his handcuffs.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Eren was back at the motel so Levi had to call him to come pick him up.  Eren was ecstatic, smothering Levi in kisses and making him laugh much to the disgust of passers by.  They drove back to the motel, stopping at Burger King for a Whopper for Levi.

Levi had gotten fries and onion rings and he amused himself by feeding Eren onion rings as he drove.

“How is Tholly?”

“Fine, even bigger, I swear.  I think he’s stolen all of your dirty socks and put them under your bed.”

“Eww!”

“Ohh, save him some onion rings.”

“Nope.  You can’t feed cats or dogs onion—it’s poisonous to them.”

“Really?  I never knew that!  I may have hurt Thol without meaning to!  You know how he’ll eat anything.”
 
When they got back to the motel, Levi crawled around on his hands and knees retrieving his socks.  He tried to put them in a small pile on the bedspread but Tholly kept stealing them, killing them, and hiding the sock-corpses under Eren’s bed.

Levi crawled around in between the two beds and reached under Eren’s for socks.

“You have a really really nice ass,” Eren said dreamily.

“Pervert,” Levi replied, muffled.  “Give me that sock you cat-demon!”

Eren giggled.

Later that evening they both got ready for bed, Levi sinking into the bedding with a sigh.  “Finally a real bed!”

Eren crawled onto the bed on his hands and knees.  “And a real boyfriend …”

“Somebody’s eager.”

“I am.  I’m a slut.  I’m

your

slut.”

Eren eased lazily up to Levi and mouthed at his neck.  Levi’s breath picked up.

“Would you like that?  If I was your slut?”

“Jesus Christ, kid,” Levi breathed, his dick tenting his underpants, his good right hand running over Eren’s ribs and hip.

“What if this slut sucked that beautiful cock, hmmm?”

“K-kid don’t start something you can’t finish.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’m gonna jump you for real,”

Levi caught Eren’s mouth with his, kissing hard, nibbling at his lips.  Eren gasped into his mouth and reciprocated eagerly.  He reached down and stroked and squeezed Levi’s hard-on through his underpants.  Levi threw his head back with a groan.

“Ahhh, kid!  Eren …”

Eren nibbled along Levi’s jaw and pushed down his boxers, freeing his cock that was rigidly at attention.

“Now who’s eager?”

“Look at what you do to me, brat.”

“I’m getting ready to do more …”

Levi threw his head back on the pillow and hissed in pleasure as Eren’s big hand gripped his cock firmly.  Eren sank down slowly, licking at the head and then sinking lower.

Levi gripped a handful of Eren’s hair tightly but made no attempt to force him onto his cock.  Eren bobbed slowly on his dick and experimented with different tonguing techniques.  Then he switched to suction.

Levi looked down at him, fingers tangled in his hair, hips thrust up.  “Oh, god yeah, Eren. Suck it baby, just like that.  Suck that fat cock, you beautiful thing.”

Eren was thrilled with the dirty talk.  He didn’t think Levi was into that but it turned him on so much.

“You’re so gorgeous, taking my cock like this.  You’re doing so well for me,” he purred.

“I want to do more, be a good boy for you.”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Levi …” Eren looked into his eyes, blown so wide with lust that there were just two thin silvery rings around black pupils, “... please fuck me.”

“Hands and knees,” Levi said breathlessly.  Eren scrambled up while Levi rummaged in his bag.  He knelt behind him, hands on Erens round firm tan buttcheeks.  He spread Eren’s cheeks with his thumbs then slicked up his finger and traced over his sensitive hole.

“Oh!”

“Does that feel good?  Are you Levi’s little slut?  Does this asshole belong to me?”

“It does!  It does!  Oh, Levi, please take me!  Make me yours!”

Levi purposely took his time lubing up, making Eren squirm and whine.  Finally he nudged the broad head of his cock up against Eren’s ass, thrusting gently to push it in.

Eren sucked in a sharp breath at the wide intrusion.  “Go slow, go slow!”

“Kid you’ve got to relax.”

“I know but it reminds me of … of …”

Levi stroked Eren’s sides soothingly.  “I know, sweetheart.  We can stop right now if you want.”

“No!  No I want to do it.  I just need to clear my mind.”

Levi rubbed his back in long strokes.  “Just imagine being in complete control—because you are.

You

decide what we do.  Imagine sinking back onto my cock, your hot hole opening up for me …”

As Levi spoke, Eren untensed and his ass relaxed, allowing another inch of Levi’s ridged cock in.  Eren gasped and dropped his head down.

“God, that feels good.  God.”

“Are you sure?  We can quit and just cuddle …”

“It … it stretches a lot but it feels so good.  I feel so full!”

Levi massaged Eren’s hips gently, his own lip caught in his teeth to keep himself under control.  “Relax … relax …”

It was hard for Eren.  A million thoughts and feelings went through his head;  love, trust, fear, apprehension.  But it didn’t feel like when he was raped.  There was no humiliation, no fear, no pain.  This was the real thing, not some sordid attack.  Eren let his breath out slowly and his ass loosened.  Levi, whose rock hard cock was about to blow, sighed as well and began a tentative, tiny, back and forth motion.

“Oh, Levi!  Oh!”

“Do you like that?  It doesn’t hurt does it?”

“No.  Oh!  Keep going!”

Levi kept up with the small strokes until Eren relaxed some more and he slid in another inch.  He then started up a steady rhythm until he had worked his entire cock into Eren’s tight ass.  He kept up the gentle stroke and Eren cried out every time he bottomed out, asshole clenching around the thickest part of Levi’s cock.

“Oh, fuck me Levi, fuck me!  Make me yours!”

Levi upped his pace, grunting, and Eren shrieked at every thrust.

“Oh, Levi!  Oh, God!  You’ll make me come!”

Levi went faster, his hips hitting Eren’s ass.  Eren was stroking his own cock feverishly, starting to feel that little coil of sensation in his pelvis, that urge to release.

“Fuck, kid, fuck, kid, I’m almost there.  I’m close.”

“Do it Levi, come inside me.”

That was all the encouragement Levi needed and he came, hard and deep in Eren’s ass.  Eren, whining as he jerked himself, came moments later, splattering the sheets with cum.

For a moment they just stilled, Levi draped over Eren’s back, both gasping.

“I’m gonna pull out now.  It’ll hurt.”

“I’m really fine, just sore …”

“Kid, I just fucked your ass hard.  I’m sorry, I got carried away, you’ll be more than sore.”

He straightened up and leaned back, pulling out slowly.  Eren hissed.  Levi rubbed his back soothingly.  “So sorry, kid, you just felt so good, so tight.”

“Hmmm, you felt amazing.”

“Even though it hurt?”

“It didn't hurt, it just stretched.  There’s a big difference.  Yes, I’m sore but it's a good kind of sore—like after you work out.  It’s a ‘my boyfriend just fucked me hard’ kinda sore.”  He stroked Levi’s face. “I love it.”

Eren laid on the bed on his back and Levi lay over him.  Eren kissed him.  “I’m so glad you’re home.”

Epilogue -
 
 
The days passed lazily.  Levi called all of his clients and his home office and pleaded car trouble.  As Levi predicted, the police never found any trace of the men who killed Stu.  After several seemingly interminable weeks, the cops closed the case and Levi and Eren could get back on the road.
 
Eren was almost bouncing with relief and excitement; he had been getting bored.  Being with Levi wasn’t boring but after a while, the same old television shows and the same old diner food start to grate on one’s nerves.

Levi quickly visited his clients whom he’d missed during his forced limited mobility.  Despite the missing days he chatted and flirted and got along with everyone—settling smoothly into his old routine—and sold several batches of uniforms.

He got a brainstorm at a client’s in New Mexico, a high end restaurant.

“Levi, do you sell aprons, by the way?  We need new ones, bad, and I don’t want to order them online.  I’m afraid the color won’t match.”

“My company does but I’m strictly a uniform man.  I can give them a call.”

“Thanks!  That would be great.”

It turned out that the company Levi worked for sold all sorts of ‘uniform accessories’; name tags, aprons, chef’s hats, white gloves for servers, etc, even bar towels.  “We’ve been looking and looking for someone to sell accessories on your route but no one wants to be a travelling salesman anymore.”

In a fit of inspiration Levi told his boss about Eren and how he would be the perfect accessory salesman.  “He’s young, enthusiastic, and gregarious.”

After much hemming and hawing and several phone interviews, the boss decided to take a chance on Eren (bolstered by the knowledge that Levi was there to guide him.)
 
A box arrived general delivery in Tularosa, NM and Eren opened it like it was Christmas.  It was Eren’s samples.  Tholly immediately took up residence in the empty box.
 
And so they lived their lives on the road, staying in motels, eating at diners.  Shell Man resided on the dashboard and Tholly grew into a big cat. He never gave up his penchant for sitting on Levi’s shoulder as he drove, watching the world go by, or his inclination for killing and hiding dirty socks.  The two men are probably out there as we speak, driving, making love, and selling along the road.