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It was so goddamn wet out here it was pissing her off. She had dropped her umbrella some ways back (and it was a good one too!) and she had to trudge her way through puddles and people and bullshit while her legs began to feel sore than she'd like. Her bangs were getting in her eyes too, and she blamed that more than the gunshot wound in her thigh for making her trip over shit. By the time she made it up the stairs to Shinra's, she was soaked with both rainwater and blood, the name 'Masaomi Kida' ringing in between her ears.Oddly enough, however, once she rings Shinra's doorbell, she feels calmer. Safer could be a better word, but she hesitates to say something like Shinra makes her feel safe. More sluggish, maybe.There's a muffled call, then the door opens and Shinra blinks up at her with audible confusion, then quick open-mouthed horror."Yo," Shizuka gives her a little wave, clutching the ruined hole in her vest."Oh my," Shinra looks her up and down, eyes big behind her large frames. "What happened to you?"Shizuka shrugs her way past with lazy truths, ignoring Shinra's fluttering hands and prodding, letting Shinra support her to the living room couch, barely acknowledging the timid high school boy nervously watching them from the corner. Shinra reassures him regardless, brow twisted up, saying bright words past Shizuka's shoulder, "I'm sorry Sonohara-kun, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to return to your room,"Sonohara frowns worriedly, and says he can handle a bit of blood."Yes, but I'm afraid you'll see more than blood once I get to the meat of these gunshot wounds," Shinra chuckles, and Sonohara flushes before scurrying away."What happened to you?" Shinra bites her lip, dabbing a cotton swab into her wound. Shinra's cut a slice into her pant leg, and Shizuka's stripped herself of the ruined vest, left in her soaked white button-up, uncaring that her bra was visible through it. She's too worn, too cold, too angry. Masaomi Kida ordered a hit on her, huh?"I didn't even notice when it happened, shit, I thought I just slipped," Shizuka says, "Then there was blood and before I could kill the assholes who shot me, they ran off."Shinra chuckles, mouth a wry nervous smile. "How can you not immediately know you've been shot?""Didn't hurt." She replies, tipping her heavy head on the back of the couch. She closes her eyes. "Still doesn't."Shinra hums, digging clamps into the overflowing wound at her thigh, pulling out a dripping red bullet. She places it into a glass dish, then comments something about intelligence that Shizuka gets the feelings of more than hears."Just fix me, and be quick about it," She growls, "I got places to be and people to kill,"Shinra tuts, taking that tone like she knows Shizuka isn't going to listen. "But you need rest! You're lucky you didn't aggravate anything walking over here.""Besides, didn't you say you didn't want any more ugly scars?" Shinra continues, prodding with another cotton swab, before showering the wound with antiseptic. The smell instantly clogs up her nose, and Shizuka turns her head with a frown. "You could ruin all my hard work if you tore your stitches,"Shizuka hisses wordlessly, thinking of the countless slashes on her legs, her body, her back, wondering if there's fucking a point to trying to be cautious anymore. It's not like anyone of value would want her anyway."Who gives a damn— I've got to kill those damn dirty thugs who shot me," She clenches her fists, sitting up, imaging someone's cheekbone cracking from her fist, her scarred knuckles imprinted into their skin. "And their boss who ordered it too, Masaomi Kida."Shinra sighs, and then from the hallway there's a sharp intake of breath. Then only a few moments later, the front door slams shut, and Shinra straightens like she's been electrocuted."Sonohara?" Shinra calls, before leaving to investigate. Not long after, she comes back, words a panicked rush, "Okay, I'm going to be right back, just hang tight,""What the fuck?" But she's still bleeding out here? There is a bullet in her stomach, has she forgotten that? Shit, it might not hurt but that doesn't mean she wants it to sit in there!It doesn't take much time for Shinra to come back, red in the face, panting, a petulant whine building in the back of her throat. Shizuka doesn't ask, doesn't really care, and by the time she's all stitched up, she's following up a text from Celty; lingering on a backstreet with a crooked grin on her lips, slicing the top off a fuck-off big money, ugly-ass purple jaguar, vengeance served.()She goes to work the next day, even, feeling on top for once. She dealt the finishing blow, then slept easy; woke up, smoked a cigarette, put on some mascara no one would see except for her boss, and then thought about going to work in a skirt. She felt good, she felt confident even,and then she stood in her bathroom in her underwear looking down at the thick white bandage on her thigh, and that soured her mood a little. Would any of her pencil skirts cover that? It was closer to her knee than her hip, which meant no. She looked down at her scarred legs, the large divot in her shin where she broke it kicking in a brick wall. Then the gnarled star-shaped scar on her ankle, a slice on her calf.She decided to wear slacks that day. Then the next, and the next, and the day she's free of the bandages and the stitches, she still chooses to wear slacks.()It's raining again, and has been all damn day.She and Tom have been sharing an umbrella, Shizuka holding it for the both of them. They come up on their mid-day stop, and she's got a cigarette sitting in between her lips absently, beginning to build a sweat on her neck from the humidity. Her hair is up in a bun, but she still feels heavy, and more than a little annoyed."Here we go," Tom mutters to herself, pushing in a dim doorbell with her knuckle. The front of the apartment is rough around the edges, with a large crack running parallel along the front door. Shizuka shifts from foot to foot, holding Tom's umbrella lax, letting it drip onto the short carpet.There's a shift from behind the door, then a muffled, "I don't have it!"Tom sighs and rings the doorbell once again. Shizuka's eyebrow twitches. Tom calls back. "Afraid that's not how this works!"Silence, then a yell, "Fuck off, bitch, I said I don't have it!"Tom sighs again, then tip her chin back at Shizuka's tall form, "Kick it in, would ya?"She kicks the door right off its hinges, and it launches into the wall with a satisfying crash. A fearful yelp, then Shizuka stalks in, her shoulders a hard line, her muscles fibers steel cables. She digs the heel of her dress shoes into the man's shoulder, snarling in his face. Tom shrugs back against the wall, poking at an empty can of beer until it tips over to the tile. The aluminum bounces loudly, once, twice.The man cowers, whimpering, damn near pissing his pants as Shizuka shakes him, and Tom talks through the man's options. Once the man stammers together something decipherable, and promising, she drops him. On their way out, Tom asks her where she'd like to get lunch."Ugly ass cunt," A wet cough sounds behind her, and Shizuka stops in her tracks. "Better off being on the other side of a glory hole,"Shizuka turns, trot calm and slow. Hands in her pockets, she takes another drag of her forgotten cigarette. She walks back to the man, who fearfully squeaks when she walks back over to him, glass crunching under her heels. The man backs up to the wall, hands scrambling at his sides for something to grab onto to, and Shizuka bends at the waist, and flicks ash directly onto his ugly ass shirt."Sorry, I don't think I heard you," She says, letting the dark of her sunglasses hide her eyes. She takes another drag, and blows the smoke in his face. The man doesn't say another word, but his trembling is pissing her off, so she flicks the cigarette bud and breaks the man's nose.()She doesn't dare ask Kanra if she's ugly.She wants to, because she feels like Kanra would tell her; but in that same vein, Shizuka doesn't know if she'd be able to handle the truth.'I've got nice lips,' she thinks, touching her face, and watching herself in the mirror. 'My eyes are okay. My nose is kinda fucked up though.'She's too muscled, though. Her shoulders are too strong, not at all like the models in magazines or the actresses in romance movies. Her thighs are long and thick, but she's too tall. Much taller than other women. She looks at her own waist, at her visible abs, and wonders why she cares so much. It shouldn't matter, she's fine. She's healthy, she keeps up her hygiene. So why does she care so much that her hands look masculine, or that her skin's too torn to wear exposing shit?The next time she sees Kanra, it's a dark, humid night. She had just been taking a walk, feeling contemplative. Then next thing she knew, she was crushing Kanra into the wall of an alley, scraping her teeth along her jaw. Kanra had laughed, fingers digging into the hair Shizuka left unbound. She tugs at the strands, and Shizuka growls."How animalistic," Kanra coos, letting Shizuka dig her hands past the long, fur-lined trench coat, letting her grab tight at her hips. "One glance is all it takes, and I'm all yours for the taking, then?""You busy?"()They kiss like long-married lovers, knowing exactly how to bite down on each other's lips, when to concede, when to push. They disconnect for only sparing moments, savoring each other more than they'd like to admit. Shizuka drops her onto her mattress, and unbuttons the trench coat, pushing it from her shoulders. Kanra digs her fingernails into her collarbone trying to strip her of her button-down, holding long blonde strands in one hand as a constant. By the time Shizuka's pushed her blouse up and over her head, Kanra's got her vest open, working at the button of her slacks.Once Kanra's head is free of her blouse, her short pixie cut is wild, and her cheeks are flushed. Her eyes are heavy, watching as Shizuka inserts her hands below the cups of her black bra, dragging over both nipples with her thumbs."Tad desperate, are we?" Kanra grins, feeling the other woman's warmth leech into her bones, and infuse into her skin. She shivers as Shizuka squeezes, digging a knee into the crux of her legs. "I suppose it has been a while, have you been aching and lonely without me all this time?"Shizuka mouths at her neck, sucking bruises into her skin. She gives one more stroke at her nipples, taking satisfaction in the way Kanra jolts, before tearing the bra off of her entirely. A seam snaps, and the fabric drags harshly at Kanra's back, before her breasts are exposed to the open air."Oh, not another," Kanra whines, not seeming all too bothered as she digs her thumbs into her own waistband, watching shamelessly as Shizuka pulls her dress shirt over her head."So defined, Shizu-chan," Kanra purrs as though she's never seen the muscles there before, "Though not unrealistic for a monster like you; it'd be weird if you were waifish, don't you think?"Kanra extends a hand before she can bite back anything to the contrary and traces the ridge of one of her abdominal muscles. Shizuka shirks from her touch, before snatching her hand away and pinning it above her head. Then the other, wrist bones pressed flush together."Stop talking," She growls in her face, and Kanra's pupils widen, and she bites down on her own thin bottom lip, grinning. Shizuka presses her into the mattress, her bra scraping against Kanra's bare breasts as she moves. She lets Kanra's hands go as she gets lower, nipping at the skin beneath her tit, sucking marks into her navel."You have been desperate for this," Kanra comments, sliding her hips up to let Shizuka strip her of her pants, which are tossed to the floor without much care. Shizuka bites the sharp bone of her hip hard and Kanra lets out a soft moan. The blonde grabs handfuls of the barely there meat of Kanra's thighs, before rubbing a finger over the wet patch in her dark panties. She mouths at it then, maneuvering Kanra's legs over her bare shoulders.Kanra hums, settling back comfortably. "Hmm, you're in a giving mood,""You want me to stop being in one?" Shizuka bites back.Kanra just giggles, a dimple on her cheek, clearly wanting to be serviced. She's lucky she's so nice to look at, with her sharp curves and flushed, smooth skin. Mouthy eye candy; who's being sweeter than the usual bite, so Shizuka will take what she can get.She bites at the junction between her thighs and pelvis, mouth inches away fabric. She nips at the skin there, purposely teasing, before digging her fingers into the waistband of the panties and dragging down, stripping her bare. Once she resettles Kanra's legs on her shoulders, she spreads her out with her fingers, and dips in to taste her. Kanra gasps, clenching her thighs around her head, and Shizuka holds her open, sucking on her clit.She sucks, she swirls her tongue, she laps up the slick, reaching up with a hand to prod at her opening. Kanra's soft, and she traces the ridges inside her with familiarity, sucking on her clit while she teases her open, letting the wet spill past her knuckles. Kanra moans, thighs shaking, back arching against the sheets. Shizuka presses her nose into the dark hair there, thrusting in and out with her fingers, curling them ever so to massage her sensitive spots. Her own cunt is soaking, and she speeds up, licking harder at her clit.Kanra comes with a sweet gasp, all of her trembling. Shizuka keeps on with the ministrations, letting her ride out the waves until Kanra's pushing at her shoulders to, "stop, god, give me a second."Shizuka wipes her chin, then finally pushes her own slacks off, tripping out of her pant legs in her hurry. She braces a hand to the bed, kicking her ankle free when a thin hand finds itself on her jaw, nudging her up before a soft mouth kisses her, then bites her bottom lip."Come on, now," Kanra mumbles against her mouth, gaze heavy, "Let me take care of you, my beast."()Sometimes, at night, long after Kanra's left and the warmth has left her limbs, she looks at the curved slash across her breasts, scar as old as their relationship together. A reminder, a brand, that Kanra's left her with. It's an ugly scar, something a man would look upon and sneer, how ugly how ugly.She knew the moment that girl with the crooked smile kissed her, she'd never marry a man like her parents wanted her to anyway. Never mind that she'd been in and out of hospitals since she was ten, adrenaline a hearty drug in her veins; her palms had been scratched before she went into puberty, her ring finger holding a thick red break around its base. No ring could cover that, but regardless, she lost her goal to have a normal life the moment she gained the scar on her chest.The moment the skinny girl with the high stockings, long skirt, and pretty eyes asked her to be friends. Shizuka had said no, of course, that bitch was a red flag from the start, but that didn't mean she kept her distance. Oh sure, she growled and bit and snarled her way through every interaction until something broke, but it was a good thing. She realized then that the only person who'd ever want her was the most taboo, toxic person she could have ever found.But she can't say it wasn't electric.()"If you got fired again, what would you do?" Kanra says to her, breathless as the taller woman ground her knee into the crux of her legs, holding her tight against the wall of a shadowed in alley.Shizuka snarled in her face. "If you even think— ""You only have a couple of options left, you know," Kanra continued on, lips bruised red from how much they had kissed each other silly. "Maid, prostitute, hostess— though I doubt you could make anyone feel welcomed,""Shut up," Shizuka dipped her hand harshly underneath the waistband of the other woman's jeans, under panties, dipping her fingers into the wet she already knew was hot for her. Kanra gasps against her mouth, hands clutching at her shoulders, legs quivering as her clit gets rolled between Shizuka's fingers.Even still, Kanra continues to speak, eyes bright and manic. "I can see it now; lit cigarette, cherry lipgloss, standing on the side of the road like no one knows your name, your reputation," She says, her sentence cut by a whimper, and a shutter, "Strongest in Ikebukuro, in a dress two sizes too tight— say, did you know that many spreading those rumors think you're a man?""Why the fuck are you spouting this shit," Shizuka rubs in more furiously, digging her thumbnail into her clit, dipping her fingers into her opening, letting Kanra's hand dip beneath her belt as well to give her the same kind of pleasure."Bet you hate that," Kanra coos, "You take so much to heart in regards to your femininity; bet it hurts your delicate feelings. You can tell me, I won't tell. How does it feel that someone as strong as you could only be a man?""Shut," A twist, pinching at the sensitive nerve endings, "the," the wet soaks into her fingers as she thrusts up, and Kanra moans, "fuck," Kanra's hand at her groin stops, shaking, forgetful as her head tips against the wall,"up!"Shizuka kisses her hard, their teeth clacking together, her tongue prodding heat into the other's mouth. She bites, and she flex her jaw to keep Kanra dazed, flushed; and for a moment Kanra looks like she could cry, but then she throws her head back, shaking through an orgasm that clenches wet around Shizuka's fingers.()"I'm not," She huffs, interrupting herself, "It's not that I think I'm not pretty, it's just hard to explain,"Celty's horse neighs, and he pats the front of it for only a moment before typing fast on his PDA. The screen is bright, shining on the glass of his cat-eared helmet. It's almost funny how the helmet looks so cutesy, but the dark leather jacket he wears is sharp, the boots tough, gloves taunt.He'd almost look badass if the helmet didn't make him look like a total softie (which he is).Shizuka sits on one of those metal road divides, watching as cars pass them by, before finally looking at the text on Celty's screen.
'Maybe you need a wardrobe change?'
She sniffs, "Maybe, but they were a gift," Then, she puts her hands in front of her, gesturing to nothing, "It's not, I'm not struggling with that I'm a woman. I know that, it's me, but sometimes I feel like I'm playing a role all the time. I want to be more pretty, but at the same time I'm fine with being— being this. And I'm strong, so strong that it's become what I'm known by. That's not— "She huffs again, reaching up to cutch at the bridge of her nose, "I don't know, it doesn't make sense. This would all be so much easier if I was born a man."A tapping, then, 'Maybe in some other universe everybody's flipped around. And you just get to be you without the baggage.'"Baggage?" She chuckles, taking a cigarette out and lighting it, imagining the dullahan in front of her to be a woman, with one of those skin-tight leather body suits. Then Kanra, who in her mind's eye would look almost identical. Shorter coat maybe. "I think Shinra would be even creepier as a man,"Smoke puffs out from under his helmet, and he points the screen at her, teasing, 'Don't say that!'Shizuka laughs out more cigarette smoke than air.()Somehow, in the time it takes for their sweat to dry, they start to talk about masculinity. Shizuka thinks that's more her fault than Kanra's, her dark thoughts spilling out without much barricade, but she doesn't want to talk about it with anyone else anymore. Celty only understands so much crazy talk. Something's just always wrong with her; too tall, too muscular, too hard; voice too low, hair not soft enough, and the cigarettes she chain-smokes aren't helping to provide a nice, sweet smell that someone would expect from a young lady."Your hair was long in high school," Shizuka brings up, slumped against the headboard with nothing on, only blankets tangled at her feet. She feels the inclination to light a cigarette but she knows her current company wouldn't appreciate it.Kanra stretches on her back, making a nice long line with her body, crossing her legs at the knee. Her bangs are sweaty, and never longer than her nape nowadays. "Yes, well, I had much less to dodge back then; even still, it kept getting in the way.""You don't miss it?" She replies, instead of Didn't it make you feel pretty?"If I did, I'd grow it back," Kanra tips her chin up to her, eyes scanning, analytical. Sometimes it seems like Kanra just stares and stares until she's unraveled whatever she needs to see, picking apart everything until you have nothing left to hide. "But it's not like a few nasty comments about it will change my mind; I like it this way. Who cares if it's unbecoming of a lady, or some bullshit,""A lady," Shizuka mumbles to herself, unsure of why."I don't have to prove anything to anyone, darling," Kanra coos, reaching up to dig the curve of her foxlike nails into the meat of Shizuka's thigh. "I do things because of practicality; you keep your hair long because it makes you feel pretty. Right?"She doesn't know if it does, actually; not anymore. In high school, yes, when she wore uniform skirts and stockings— even when she felt most monstrous, batting away gangs of people, getting blood on her face, she felt comforted by the feel of the air around her legs. She liked dyeing her hair because it made her look cool, she liked trying on new lipstick colors because it made her look real. Not some monster, but a girl who liked girly things, and that was okay.But now, her hair was long, bottle blonde, with horrible split ends; some days she wondered why she still kept it. She put it in a bun most days for work, and she never styled it anymore outside of it. Sometimes she stood in front of her bathroom mirror, usually at the end of the day, and pulled it back, imagining what it look like if she cut it. Like Kanra's, a short pixie. Maybe something even shaggier. But then she let go of those daydreams and left it the way it was. She didn't talk to anyone about it, but if she had to answer why?She wasn't ready to let go. To look like what everyone else thought the strongest would look like.She was tall, she wore suit pants and dress shoes most days, and her jawline was strong. But what mattered was that she could rip street signs from the ground, tear benches up from their bolts. She could throw a grown man ten blocks down, and lift vending machines one handed.That's all anyone saw. Not the woman who petted stray cats outside her apartment every chance she got; not the little girl who cried every time she came out of surgery with a new ugly cast. Not her, grown, with ten DVDs of stupid romance movies all lined up next to her signed copies of all of her sister's work. Not Shizuka Heiwajima, the woman who'd rather smoke a pack of cigarettes on her period than buy a bottle of extra-strength aspirin.Shizuka sighed and slid down the bed to Kanra's form, grabbing that sharp hand from her thigh to pull her skinny form over top hers, grabbing handfuls of her hips.()She's drunk, so so drunk, and she feels taller than usual, like if a person was a tree and was the strongest person anyone had ever seen and was also someone who wanted to be held and told she was beautiful with all her scars and muscle and ugly temper.She really only wanted a nice night out, a tasty drink to have at the end of her week, but here she is, bleary-eyed and confused as a man sitting in the stool next to hers hunches in to speak to her, asking her questions. He makes her suspicious immediately, because no one talks to her just because."I'm sorry, but I didn't catch your name," The man says, a soft, toothy grin on his features, jean jacket a size too small."That's cause I didn't throw it," She hisses, and the man scoots back a tad in surprise, and his expression looks fake, so fake. But he continues to smile, looking over her features shamelessly. She feels like covering her chest, and the low neckline she decided to wear. But she doesn't, hoping the man notices the old horizontal scar there and decides to leave her alone after seeing how damaged she is, how ugly it is."Then, it would be my pleasure to learn," He replies, grabbing gently at her hand to drop a kiss onto her knuckles. She stares, more than a little lost, and stunned; thinking this is something of a dream— but would her dreams have a man center stage? She doesn't know. She's been kind of on and off committed since she was fifteen, kissing up the skirts of her rival and letting small breasts press against her back in the shower."I'm sorry," She blurts, and he looks up at her, uncomprehending, "I'm not, I— ""You're off the market?" He asks, tone neutral.She nods, feeling out of her element, feeling nervous, feeling like something could have built here if she wasn't with the most wicked bitch alive; providing that that same bitch would even let her free to explore other avenues, and providing that she liked men. Besides, her ugly traits would've come out eventually, and she would've drove him away.Funnily enough, the only person she wanted to leave her alone was the one person she couldn't help but use as an excuse, the only person she thought of who could ever hold her the way she wanted to be held; providing that Kanra didn't bite first."Sorry to bother you," The man says, standing from the stool without much fanfare, and she's left alone once again. Before fate could have another swig at her, however, she slaps a handful of bills on the table and stumbles her away out of the bar, one destination in mind.()"You're wearing heels," Is the first thing Kanra says as she opens her door, a long red satin robe falling down her slight curves. She looks tired, but not like she just woke up; more likely a long, long night working at the testimonies nobody else wants to touch. Shizuka leans against the doorframe, pushing her way past the other woman to collapse on the sectional in the middle of the room. She groans, letting her dizzy spell recede, before pulling said heels from her feet, and massaging her toes."You went out?" Kanra says behind her, snippy."It was a long week, I wanted a drink," Shizuka explains, her words more slur than speech. She turns at the waist to look at Kanra, appreciating her robed figure. There's a large V at her neckline, pale naked skin, and a slight fold below her breasts."You wanted someone to buy you a drink," Kanra comments, an unhappy twist to her mouth, and Shizuka frowns in turn."No," She lifts her heavy arm to rest on the back of the couch, settling her chin there. "That's not what I said,""Then why get dressed at all?" Kanra bites, finally walking over to her desk, sitting back in her office chair, "Why not buy a bottle of wine from the corner store and call it a night?"Shizuka squints at her, sensing there's something here that Kanra's not expressing. "I wasn't alone, I went with Tom-san. At first."Kanra hums, now decidedly not looking in her direction. Her mouse clicks once, her other hand resting on her keyboard as she gazes at her monitor.Subtlety has never been her strong suit, especially not drunk, so she just asks, "Why are you mad at me?"Kanra cuts her eyes at her, "I'm not,""Right," Shizuka huffs, beginning to feel annoyed herself. She lets minutes pass in silence, curling up on the couch, unwilling to stand simply because she feels as though she'll fall right back down, "Tom-san insisted, you know, and I thought it could be nice. I don't get to dress up anymore, you know? And I felt nice, for once. Not all torn up, damaged." Kanra makes a sharp noise at that, but Shizuka's too busy sweeping a hand over her bare shins, rubbing the fabric of her dress between her fingertips. "And Tom-san invited some of her friends, and then some fake-ass dude started hitting on me, and I was like, come on asshole, my scars on full display, I'm not worth— ""Shizuka," Kanra interrupts, a lot closer than she was previously. Shizuka looks up at her, her form a few feet away, shadowing her in, with a tense, undiscernible expression on her face."Don't worry about it," Shizuka whispers, mouth suddenly dry, "I'm all yours, babe,"Kanra leans forward, settling both of her cold palms against Shizuka's overheated cheeks. It's nice, and comforting, even if Kanra's expression isn't. Shizuka leans into it, tempted to close her eyes and fall asleep right then and there."You're not ugly, you know,"Shizuka's eyes fly open and she just stares, wondering if Kanra felt her heart skip a beat, wondering if this is real at all. Kanra tilts her head, still looking dangerous, cold, a right bitch and woman with a wicked tongue, and she says,"I've never thought so." One of her hands slips into her unbound blonde locks, cradling her head, smiling like she knows Shizuka isn't going to remember most of this night, so she can afford to be soft. "A bit cantankerous, sure, bullheaded and stubborn, most definitely; but ugly? Who could call you ugly?"Her lip quivers before she can do anything about it, blurting the first thing her mind forms into a coherent sentence, "Why would you say that?"Kanra cocks an eyebrow, "You know I am fond of you, right? And I don't make it a habit to lie to people I'm fond of. Not that you're special, god forbid, humanity actually occupies my top spot, I'm afraid; but I would think being in a category of your own would merit some— "An unattractive noise leaves her, and she drags Kanra forward by the shoulders, digging her nose into the soft velvet of her robe, fighting back loud and drunken tears, hearing the words you're not ugly, you're not ugly, you're not ugly()On another day, one not far enough along to make the memories lose their gloss, but enough space to breathe, she finds Kanra at her high-rise apartment and kisses her at the door. She licks into her mouth, leaving a ticklish sensation on the roof of it, holding her jaw with her scar-knuckled hands. She tastes of coffee, and of the mint candies Yagiri keeps around. She bites at her lips, before drawing away to look at her expression.Kanra's flushed, eyelids heavy, but she looks provoking, eyebrow cocked, a dimple building at the corner of her grin."Hello, there," Kanra breathes, "Has the siren finally come close enough to kill me, then? Are you going to slit my throat? Drag me under the waves? I'm sorry to say I won't put up much of a fight, I never learned to swim."Shizuka huffs a laugh, "Shut up,"()She still has her days, feeling like nothing more than a tired old rumor with the shoulders of a man, and the mouth of a sailor, tearing up public property and not giving a shit about paying it back. Most days she wears slacks, some days she wears one of three pencil skirts she owns, feeling strong. She doesn't wear her hair down more, but that's for professionalism's sake than anything else. She's a bodyguard, she beats people up. She doesn't wear heels on the clock because that's stupid, but she does wear mascara, even if nobody sees it.Sometimes she stands at her open window, looking out the lackluster view of her apartment, wearing just a tank top, smoking a cigarette. Letting the wind roll over her. More often than she'd like, however, the ashes fall into her cleavage and she brushes herself off, biting down a huff, letting her thumb catch against the long scar there, just touching it to feel real. She lets the wind run through her long strands, simply breathing it all in.She takes walks, as well. Listening to everything around her, listening for the murmur of her full name instead of just her last. She sits in the park, comfortable with an arm across the back of the bench, basking with Celty more than actually chatting.'Shinra's throwing another hotpot party tomorrow.' More tapping, a tiny jolt of the shoulders that could be laughter, 'I don't know what for, but she certainly revels in the company.'She hums, "It is getting colder,"'You'll come?'"Sure," She shrugs, "Nothing better to do,"Then Celty holds his screen to his chest, hesitant, before showing her another line of text.'I don't think anyone would say anything if you came dressed up,'She stares for a bit, then furrows her brow a bit, a tad amused at the gesture. "It is a casual thing, right? I'm not gonna pull out the heels for a dinner and movie thing with friends."'Not that much! Just, you always come in your work uniform. So if you didn't want to do that, nobody would care. Promise!'"Huh," She lets the air between them go a little warm, before scratching at her neck, more embarrassed than she'd like to admit, "Thanks, I guess."Celty's shoulders jump, his boot heels clacking together as he thumbs up.Shizuka shoves at him.