Archive of Our Own

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Ceroba sat cross-legged at her neglected kotatsu that was caked with dust, staring blankly at the wall across from her.
It was no secret that the barrier had been broken. If she couldn’t tell from the loud boom that rang through the underground, cheers from outside could be heard even through the closed doors and windows of her now abandoned home.
It had been a while since the last time she had been in the Ketsukane residence. Moving was the best thing she could have done for herself. Every second spent in her old home was suffocating, the comfort she used to feel getting swallowed by memories of things she could no longer have, no matter how hard she wished. All of the coins in the well by her home could have been from her with how often she threw a coin in, hoping that by some miracle she would get a call from the royal scientist that she could bring her daughter home or that she could go back in time to prevent Chujin from working himself to death.
Being back in her home again was crushing, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Ceroba was met with the same realizations that she had faced after Chujin had passed, and then again after Kanako had fallen down. She would never be able to feel the sun, the real sun on her fur without her late husband or her daughter, no matter how much gold she poured into the well.

Ceroba knew it was silly, but it was one of the only vices she had left. If she was lucky enough, maybe one of the coins she could toss into the well could finally grant her wish and she could bring her baby home.

But of course, that wasn’t how things worked. They were both gone. They would never get to see the surface, but she could. It felt like some sort of sick joke. Foxes were supposed to be lucky, how come just one of her wishes couldn’t come true?

Despite the way the musty air filled her lungs and squeezed at her heart, she couldn’t bear to leave. Ceroba didn’t think she could ever leave the underground. Not even if she was dragged. She’d dig her claws into the rotting floorboards of her home and stay there forever. At least then, she wouldn’t have to leave Chujin and Kanako behind. If she left the underground, there would be no one to cut the grass around his grave or sweep the fallen petals of cherry blossoms away. He would have no one left.
She knew this was selfish of her to think. Of course, she would have to leave eventually- she couldn’t leave her friends to wonder where she was. She couldn’t leave Starlo to an empty house, just as she had to bear all those years ago. But still, it was so, so hard. So she would sit until someone came to find her. Starlo knew where Ceroba went when she needed to be alone, so it wasn’t like she could hide forever. He wouldn’t let her.

She sat silently, eyes trained on nothing. There was no telling how much time had passed until she heard the familiar sound of her front door sliding open. She heard light, staggered footsteps as they made their way around their home. Finally, a figure appeared at the doorway of her dining room, their features obscured by the darkness of the room. She looked up, barely able to make out the person’s features. They didn’t look like Star or even Martlet.
Maybe she was just seeing things.
Ceroba blinked once, then twice, before realizing that no, there was a real person standing in front of her. After her eyes adjusted to the dark, they looked eerily like a human she once knew.
“... Clover…?” she called out, gripping tightly onto the table in front of her. Was she going crazy?
The human grabbed onto the door frame for support, and even though they were far, Ceroba noticed how they slightly swayed, struggling to stand upright. “Hi, Ceroba,” was all they said, their voice hoarse.

She knew she should stand up and greet them with a big hug, ask how the hell they were alive, pick them up, and run them to her and Starlo’s home. But instead, Ceroba stayed still. After a second, she said, “Welcome back, Clover.”
There was tension in the air so thick that Clover could shoot through it and it would leave a bullet hole.

As glad as Ceroba was to see Clover, that just pushed another weight onto her heart. The last time she had seen them, she fought them with the full intention of killing them to take their soul for her own use. She laid them to rest. She delivered their soul to the king. and now they were back, alive, in her old home. Why were they even here? If she were Clover, she would be angry , the only reason to visit her being to give her a piece of justice for how she had misled them.
“I’m not mad at you,” was all that Clover said, seeming to read her mind as she continued to stare at them in the doorway. Ceroba turned her head to stare at the opposite wall, having nothing to say. “I was. but I’m not anymore. I think I understand, now.”
Clover stepped forward to take a seat at the kotatsu opposite of her, struggling to bend their knees to avoid falling to the ground. Their hand shook as they gripped the table before falling back into the cushion, a cloud of dust surrounding them upon impact.
“I don’t think I'll ever understand you,” she said in response, laying her head down against the table, defeated. “I’ve felt guilt every day since the day I met you, but I’ve also felt it long before then. I can’t remember a day where I haven’t felt it. But this isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I don’t know what I was thinking. I couldn’t ever imagine doing the same again.”
“It was just,” was all they said, causing Ceroba to quickly sit back up to disagree. Before she could say anything, they continued. “The human before me had attacked Kanako, and I know your husband didn’t like humans. What else would you do?”
“Don’t try to say my actions were justified,” she quickly responded, voice harsh. Both she and Clover flinched at her tone. She cleared her throat. “My emotions may have been. But I don’t think I could forget what I put you through. What we all put you through. I always wondered if it was the right thing to do, letting you sacrifice yourself. At the time, I thought that you should have the right to choose. We had dictated enough of your life long enough… but we’ve all wondered about that, especially Star. Have you seen him yet?”
Clover shook their head.
“You… came to see me first?”
“I felt like I needed to,” was all they said in response. Ceroba turned away again.

“I wish I could have given you a proper welcome back. I’m sorry,” she apologized, softer, guilt laced in every word. “I wasn’t lying when I said I was happy to see you. But you should go see Starlo now. If anyone missed you the most, it’s him.”
“Won’t you come with me?” Clover asked, sounding genuine. This made the feeling weighing Ceroba’s heart down feel even heavier.

Ceroba paused. “... if you would like me to.”

Honestly, she didn’t want to leave her old home. She wanted to sit there forever, let the dust cover her shoulders and her hair, become one with her home, and eventually join the rest of the dust on the ground. Ceroba couldn’t leave her home. Leaving meant she would be leaving her old life behind for good, leaving behind every memory of meals spent together, quiet vows exchanged, and the laughter from her daughter that used to bounce off of every wall in their home.

She realized that she wasn’t ready to leave the underground. After years of hoping and praying that the barrier would be shattered, what was the point if she couldn’t bring Chujin and Kanako along?
But at the same time, she had her new life too.

Ceroba hadn’t moved on. She knew she would never move on. She could never forget her late husband or her daughter and the countless memories she shared with them, only for the two to share the same fate. She lay in her sorrow for years, drinking when she could and sleeping when she couldn’t.
But it hadn’t been all bad. Through Clover, she grew.
She made new friends, became closer with others, and stopped visiting the saloon as often. She let herself love again and tried her hardest to work past the dark she had kept herself in for all those years. All because of the human whom she had only known for a day. So who was she to say no?
“I do want you to,” Clover said, suddenly by her side. How long had she been lost in thought?
“... Okay.”
Before she could stand, Clover wrapped her into an embrace. She took notice of the way their arms shook as they held onto her for support. Ceroba hugged them back, holding them tight. The least they deserved was a warm welcome and a hug back to the Wild East, not hearing about the woes of a middle-aged woman who was stuck wallowing in her old home.
Ceroba let go before standing up, trying her hardest to push her thoughts to the back of her mind. She took one last look around her home before taking a breath and turning to the child who stood in front of her. “Do you need help?”
Clover frowned in response, averting their gaze. The last thing they wanted was for Ceroba to think they were weak and that they couldn’t walk on their own.
But it had taken them painfully long to be able to stand from their former resting place, let alone the even longer journey back to the Wild East, and their legs shook harder each second they stayed standing. They paused before nodding. Clover saw Ceroba while she was weak, they were sure she wouldn’t judge needing to hold onto her arm with an iron grip just to be able to walk.

“Alright, then let’s get going. Where to first?”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The walk back to town was far lighter than the first exchange Clover and Ceroba had.

Ceroba walked slowly to match Clover’s pace, the child holding onto her arm tightly as they walked. They filled the quiet with questions, asking anything their mind could think of to fill the silence.

Naturally, the first thing they asked was, “How long has it been?”

Ceroba took a while to respond, clenching and unclenching her fists as she tried to think of what to say. Any amount of time would be alarming to hear, but she knew it would be unfair to lie to them. Clover deserved to know the truth. “Um… about three years now.”

She felt their hand grip her arm even tighter and part of her wished that she had lied for their sake.

“... how much has changed?” Clover then asked, a slight waiver to their voice. Ceroba felt herself frown, noticing just how hard they were trying to be brave.

“Not too much. But a lot at the same time,” was all she could think to say, glancing down to the human beside her. Watching Clover limp made her heart sag, but she knew better than to offer to hold them. Ceroba knew they would never agree, not right now.

“You cut your hair. And you’re wearing something different,” they pointed out as an example.

“I never really liked it that long. And that would be a little strange if I wore the same thing every day for years, wouldn’t it?” Ceroba joked, attempting to lighten the air between the two.

Ceroba knew she looked a lot different from the last time Clover had seen her. For one, she had gained a healthy amount of weight from drinking less and eating more, her hair had begun to grey, and she was dressed less formally. Instead of her old kimono, she wore a haori adorned with flowers over a tank top and a floor-length skirt. She guessed it was jarring to see Clover look exactly the same, even after all that time had gone by, so she couldn’t imagine how strange it was to see her look so different.

Clover nodded with a smile. “You don’t live in your old house anymore?”

“... not anymore,” Ceroba responded, resisting the urge to look back towards Oasis Valley, where they had left from. “Starlo and I live together now, by the center of town.”

She saw Clover look up at her with raised eyebrows and mouth agape out of the corner of her eye and felt herself flush, smiling despite herself. “What? Don’t act so surprised, how is that the craziest thing you’ve heard so far? You come back from the dead but me and Star living together is enough to make you speechless?”

“So, are you…?” Clover trailed off, grinning.

“Next question,” Ceroba replied with an embarrassed smile, although her reaction was all they needed to see.

They continued the rest of the walk with scattered questions and comfortable silence, the air much lighter compared to when they had left.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Not before long, they made it to the Wild East. The town was bustling ahead of them, with monsters celebrating at the saloon and making loud conversation. Ceroba thought that the good mood would be infectious, but all she could feel was worry for the child holding tightly onto her hand.

She carefully weaved her way through groups of monsters, silently hoping no one would notice the human beside her so they could quickly make it to her home without interruption. Ceroba wasn’t sure how much Clover could take in their current state, so playing it safe was her best bet.

They made it to where the Feisty Five’s hangout used to be, which Clover assumed was where Starlo and Ceroba were living. The outside looked a lot nicer, with potted flowers and two rocking chairs adorning the deck. There also seemed to be an extension with a second floor added, which amazed Clover. Ceroba had mentioned that not too much had changed, but everything looked so different.

She opened the door for Clover and mentioned something about “being right back” before rushing towards the center of town, leaving Clover to watch the door close behind her.

They looked around the home, the inside being even more different than how the outside was. Instead of a hole in the floorboards and sleeping bags and hammocks strewn about, the downstairs portion looked more like a home than a hideout. The kitchen and living room were about the same but refurbished, making the home look a lot brighter than it had before. Clover almost glanced up the steps to see what was upstairs, but their legs shook with the thought of having to climb

another

flight of steps, so instead opted to take a seat on the couch.

Being able to sit down and not focus on putting one foot in front of the other finally allowed them to think. Being alive again was… weird, to say the very least. Even weirder, they were alive while the rest of the children were still dead. Why were they the only one who got their soul back? Why were they the only one who survived?

They also were surprised that their body only felt like they had just taken a long nap, not like they had been dead for three years.

Three years.

Three years was a long, long time, even though Ceroba insisted it wasn’t. Three years they were gone, and suddenly they were back. They were back and the barrier was broken. Did that mean they would have to go back to the surface?

The very thought of having to return to the surface made their heart grow cold. The sole purpose of their mission was to bring justice for the five humans that had fallen before them and find out the truth of how they all had gone missing. Clover found out the truth, but them being alive defeated the whole point of their mission, didn’t it…? And what would they do once they got back? Ceroba and Starlo would assume that they had somewhere to go, wouldn’t they?

The point of their mission did change after they spent longer in the underground, however. They learned that the five previous humans had died, but… there had been something else they could do. They wanted to bring justice to the underground and the friends they made during their time there. And that’s exactly what they did.

Clover was confident that that was the best choice then, and after seeing the joy that had spread across the entire underground, they still believed it was. They managed to complete their mission

and

ended up alive at the end of it, which was probably the best outcome they could have possibly had.

So why did they feel so guilty?

Thinking this hard made their head throb. Clover sank deeper into the couch, trying to ignore just how badly their legs shook and their arms ached. Laying dormant for years wasn’t the best thing for their body, they guessed, but the feeling was unlike anything they had felt before. Each step they took shot pins and needles through their legs and each time they moved a finger, it was like it didn’t even belong to them.

Before they could continue to be hyper aware of how

bad

they felt, the sound of footsteps on the wooden patio shook them out of their thoughts. The footsteps stopped outside the door, and Clover could vaguely make out the conversation being held outside.

“... know you’re excited but please don’t be too-”

Before the person could finish what they were saying, the door was pushed open with a loud

bang

that shook the house, followed by a very loud “

Clover!

”

Starlo burst through the doorway, spotting the child on the couch and quickly making his way to them, practically throwing himself onto the couch to give them a hug.

Clover quickly hugged him back, a huge grin on their face. “Howdy, Starlo,” they said into his shoulder, remembering what Ceroba had said about how “if anyone missed them the most, it would be him.” They hugged onto him tighter.

Starlo squeezed them harder, almost as if he was worried that if he let go, they would be gone again. “Hiya, partner.”

Clover pulled away to look at him closer. The first thing they noticed was how his faux southern accent was way less strong but still noticeable. The second thing they noticed were the tracks of tears behind his glasses as he grinned from ear to ear (if he had ears?). He still wore his circle glasses but lost the hat, instead wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled and denim pants, which was a far cry from his old sheriff outfit.

“Sorry, I know it’s prolly’ weird that I’m cryin’. I’m just… really happy to see you, Clover.”

Clover quickly shook their head, tears threatening to spill over their cheeks as well. “It’s not weird. I’m really happy to see you, too.”

Clover pulled Starlo into another hug which he happily took before glancing over his shoulder at Ceroba. She was standing in the doorway, trying to give him a disapproving look for rushing in without warning, which was hard to do since she was smiling just as hard as he was.

Starlo backed away again, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. Clover did the same. “Now, I hope you don’t mind me askin’, but… how are you… alive?” He winced at his choice of words, trying not to notice the slight grimace from Ceroba who had moved to stand next to him. “Of course I-I’m happy to have you back, but did you just- wake up?”

They took a breath before they spoke. “That’s what it felt like. And I… I don’t know how I’m back. None of the other humans woke up.” Clover stared at their feet guiltily, clenching their fists in their lap. “I don’t know why I was the only one. I feel like it must have been a mistake or something.”

Surprisingly, Ceroba was first to disagree. “

No,

” she said firmly, quickly kneeling down to look Clover in the eye in front of the couch. “The universe works in weird ways… and everything

always

happens for a reason. If you were meant to come back once this was all over, then that’s what happens. You sacrificed yourself to help break the barrier… if anyone deserves to come back, it’s you.”

Without realizing she had started crying, she felt a tear roll down her cheek. Ceroba quickly stood up, using her arm to wipe her face with her sleeve. Clover sat and watched her before looking over to Starlo who frowned, raising his arm to do something before lamely lowering it back to his side.

They both knew why she had reacted that way. How had Clover come back, but Kanako couldn’t?

“She’s right, Clover,” he said after a beat with a firm nod. “It’s not that the others didn’t deserve to live, but… you did somethin’ very noble. But hey, we should celebrate! It’s not every day one of the best deputies around comes back!”

Ceroba glanced down at Clover before speaking again. “While that’s a good idea, I think Clover needs to rest.” Clover caught Ceroba’s gaze with a small smile, in what she assumed was a thank you. “We can celebrate soon. For now, let’s get you something to eat.”

“She’s right. You can go explorin’ again and meet up with everyone else after you get some sleep.”

Clover nodded, trying to stand up from the couch before stumbling. They looked frustrated, but Ceroba couldn’t blame them. She wasn’t even sure how they managed to make it to the Dunes from New Home if they could barely even stand anymore.

She nodded at Starlo with a sad smile before making her way to the kitchen, leaving the two alone in the living room.

“Everything is different,” Clover said first, breaking the silence as Starlo looked them up and down, still amazed that they were sitting in front of him and he wasn’t dreaming.

“Not too much has changed,” Starlo started, before noticeably backtracking, biting his tongue.

Clover frowned. “That’s exactly what Ceroba said. But so much has.”

“I guess you’re right. But it won’t be too hard to catch you up! I mean… I’m still the sheriff, just not as… extreme as I used to be,” he began with a sheepish smile. “I’ve been helpin’ out a lot more at my family’s farm, too. And, ah… The Feisty Five did break up, but we’re all still good friends. Just went on to do different things.”

Clover nodded, not entirely satisfied with the answer. “Why are you and Ceroba living together?” they asked bluntly, looking around the living room. There were pictures that they noticed from Ceroba’s old home on the walls, but they were accompanied with new pictures as well.

Starlo raised his eyebrows, pausing to clear his throat before speaking. “Well, um…” he stammered, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. He continued in a hushed voice after glancing over his shoulder to the kitchen where Ceroba hummed. “After you passed… The Wild East was really down. And Ceroba, she didn’t take too well to it. … and frankly, neither did I.”

Clover frowned, sinking back into the couch cushions.

“It wasn’t all that bad,” he went on to say, backtracking in the hopes of cheering Clover up. “It was only a short while we knew you, but you uprooted a lot of our lives, Clover. I was… really sad, for a little while. And don’t tell her I said this, but Ceroba was just as upset as I was. I know she was putting up a front, tryin’ to be strong that day, but…”

“What I’m tryin’ to say is that even though it hurt, you really did help us grow and bring each other together. As for Ceroba… she didn’t really like livin’ alone
after. After the Feisty Five disbanded, I had an open house, and… it just worked. We’ve been best friends for as long as I could remember, and we needed each other, so. It’s been like that ever since.”

The child beside him nodded in understanding. “... Ceroba was in her old house when I found her,” they confessed, biting at their cheek guiltily. Clover knew they probably shouldn’t have been spilling her business, but it seemed important if she couldn’t even bear to live there anymore.

Starlo hummed, looking over his shoulder yet again to the kitchen. He caught Ceroba’s gaze and smiled before quickly turning his head back to Clover. “I’ll… talk to her later. Make sure everything’s okay.” After a moment, he added, “Did you go to see her first?”

Clover hummed in confirmation. “I felt like I needed to. I wanted her to know I wasn’t angry anymore.”

“The first thing you thought of was makin’ sure she was okay…?” Starlo smiles again, proudly. “I appreciate it, Clover. She… even after a few years passed, she’s told me that still feels guilty. I think she needed to hear that.”

After a moment of silence, Starlo spoke again. “None of us are mad at you either, by the way. I wasn’t necessarily happy, but I respected your decision as much as Martlet and Ceroba did.”

Clover remembered how Ceroba had mentioned that Starlo had felt guilty after the fact, wondering if it was the right thing to do. “But did you blame yourself?” they asked, turning to make eye contact with Starlo.

He paused, shocked from the question, averting his eyes. “After the fact, I… suppose I did. Lettin’ you sacrifice yourself even though you were only a kid was somethin’ that weighed on me. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do without talking it out a little more.”

“It was my choice. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

Starlo nodded, though he didn’t seem very convinced. “I know I only knew you for a little while, but… losin’ you was hard, Clover. You made the underground a better place, and not just because you sacrificed your soul. You impacted all of us in more ways I could tell you, and for that, I really have to thank you. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for my deputy.”

Before Starlo could get teary again, Ceroba walked around the island with plates of dumplings and soup in hand. She sat cross legged at the coffee table, knowing better than to suggest sitting at the dining table. Eating dinner on the couch felt better than sitting at the table anyways, and she didn’t want to make Clover move any more than they had to.

“It’s just something quick,” she said, almost as if she was defending herself before the two could even take their first bite.

Clover took a bite of a dumpling, finding that they had to think really hard in order to chew. Moving their jaw manually was weird, but it wasn’t

that

bad. Ceroba must have noticed their concentrated face as they ate, adding, “Starlo’s usually the one who does the cooking.”

The three laughed over their meal, falling into a comfortable silence.

Once they all finished eating, Starlo offered to do the dishes while Ceroba took Clover by the arm and led them up the steps, walking slowly as they held onto the railing, concentrating on raising a leg one at a time and planting a foot on each step. Eventually, they reached the top, and Ceroba led Clover to the guest room.

The hallway was dimly lit as the swelter stone had begun to set, but Clover could make out more framed photos lining the walls and potted plants along the walls.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything that fits you to change into,” she apologized as she opened the door, letting Clover enter first before following suit, closing the door behind her. “I’m… sure I have clothes that will fit you somewhere. I can go look tomorrow.”

Noticing the implications, Clover winced. “You don’t have to, this is okay for now.”

Ceroba didn’t say anything else, leading Clover over to the bed and opening the comforter. “Do you need help?”

It was Clover’s turn to be quiet, pursing their lips. This was as much as Ceroba needed to see, lifting Clover to sit on the edge of the bed and moving to untie their bandana and remove their vest and boots for them. They let her do it in silence, embarrassed but appreciative. They hoped they could shake whatever was wrong soon.

She folded the clothing neatly, placing it on the bedside table. “If you need anything, our rooms are right down the hall. And… if you can’t get up and need one of us, you can always shout. I’m a light sleeper, and if you need anything at

all

, I’m more than happy to do it for you.”

Clover nodded, although being treated like this was foreign to them. “Okay,” was all they said in response, kicking their feet along the edge of the bed.

“I’ll leave you be for now. I know you’ve had a long day… Goodnight, Clover.”

“G’night, Ceroba.”

They watched as Ceroba flicked the light off and cracked the door shut. Clover laid back after a moment of staring at the wall, their head hitting the pillow with a small

thump

. Sleep came quickly to them, not even having a moment to think of how this was the first time in a long, long time they’d been able to sleep in a real bed.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After a while, Starlo finally heard Ceroba’s footsteps as they descended down the steps. She sighed and took a seat next to him on the couch, staring at the wall opposite of them with a frown. The two sat in silence, the weight of the day finally starting to get to the both of them.

Starlo snuck worried glances to the woman next to him as she sat eerily still, her eyes blank. He wanted to ask if she was okay, but it was hard to initiate conversation with her when she was like this. He waited for her to say something instead, glancing down at his laps and playing with the hem of his glove

This used to happen a lot when they first started living with each other. They would sit next to each other on opposite ends of the couch, silent except for the occasional sniffle or shuffle of clothing as one of them adjusted. Finally, someone would talk and the other would listen. Starlo hated sitting in silence while waiting for Ceroba to speak, he was willing to wait but the sounds of the crickets outside and the hum of magic from the kitchen were unbearable to listen to.

“I’m really worried about them, Star,” she said finally, sinking back into the couch. Starlo held back a sigh of relief. “They could barely walk up the steps on their own, I had to lift them into the bed… I really hope this is something that can be fixed by sleep.”

“I’m sure it’ll be alright,” he tried to reassure her, but his voice faltered. Starlo tried to pretend like there wasn’t anything wrong for both of their sakes, but Clover struggling to eat and their shakiness as they tried to get up from the couch was enough to shake him. “If anyone is strong enough to beat comin’ back from the dead, it’s them.”

“... you’re right,” Ceroba sighed, though she didn’t sound very convinced. “They looked confused that I was helping them at all. I took off their overclothes and their boots and it was like I had offered them a million G.”

Starlo didn’t have anything to say to that, joining Ceroba in gazing at the wall. What could he say?

It’s probably fine, maybe they’re just not used to being taken care of

? The thought of that alone made his heart throb, frowning as he wracked his mind for something else to fill the silence, but nothing came to him.

“... the barrier is broken,” Ceroba said after a long moment, breaking the silence again. “We’ve waited our whole lives for this, but I just… I’m not happy.”

Starlo turned from the wall to face the woman next to him, turning his body and pulling a leg up from the ground to hold it to his chest. “It was so sudden. We’d barely gotten word of another human underground, and then…”

He paused again, desperately trying to catch Ceroba’s eye as she kept her gaze glued to the wall. “Clover mentioned you were in Oasis Valley when they found you.”

She tensed, her ears laying flat against her head, as if she had been caught red handed for something. “Yes,” was all Ceroba could say, clenching her fists at her side. Starlo lifted his arm to hold onto her, grab her hand,

anything

, but let it fall back to his side again.

“You know we don’t have to move to the surface, right? Not everyone is moving. I know Dina is thinkin’ about movin’ her saloon to a more populated area underground after everyone who wants to leaves,” he suggested, tilting his head with a small smile.

He felt strange, talking about the near future so casually. It was uncommon that Ceroba and Starlo would ever talk about what came after the barrier was shattered. They technically didn’t need to live together anymore. What they had going on worked, sure, with Ceroba working at the saloon and Starlo upkeeping the town. They were able to afford to live comfortably and spend time with their friends while still doing something they enjoyed. However, what would they do if given the chance to move? Would Ceroba want her own home? What would he do then?

“What? No!” she grimaced, raising her voice and turning to face the man next to her. “You’ve always wanted to see the surface. It would be stupid for you to stay here.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid,” he supplied with a shrug, shrinking back into the couch from Ceroba’s sudden outburst. “We could always visit. If you want to stay, then we’ll stay.”

Ceroba furrowed her eyebrows with frustration. He just didn’t get what she was trying to say. “I don’t want to hold you back because I can’t let go of the past.”

“You don’t have to let go, and you’re not holdin’ me back. Anythin’ I choose is by my own accord,” he pushed. “I’ve grown pretty accustomed to the Wild East. It would be pretty hard to leave for good.”

She stayed silent, glancing down at her lap. Her nails were dug deep into her palms as she thought. “We don’t have to stay together anymore,” was all she said through a deepening frown.

“Oh,” was all Starlo could say, despite himself. “Well… um, yeah- I shouldn’t have assumed that-”

“I like living with you Star,” Ceroba said quickly, cutting him off. “I just can’t be the reason you can’t move on. The only thing that would be keeping you here is me.”

He took a deep breath, glancing down at her hands. “That’s not a bad thing, you know. I’d go anywhere with you.”

Ceroba looked up at him, a small smile on her face. He smiled back at her despite the warning alarms going off in the back of his mind that he had said too much.

He constantly worried about going too far, saying the wrong thing and ruining the fragile relationship the two had. It was no secret that he’d taken a

not-so-little

liking to her when they were younger that he embarrassingly let eat at him once she had gotten engaged to Chujin. It took a while, but he had finally moved past it for her sake once both he and Kanako had passed. They had grown closer since then, and even more so after Clover had as well.

He tried his hardest to ignore the way she made him feel, the way that she

makes

him feel, despite his efforts to forget he had ever liked her in the first place. Starlo would much rather have her by his side as his best friend than ruin it by saying something that was just a bit too much or touch lingering just a little bit too long.

“I think I’d be able to go to the surface,” she said after a moment of thought, catching Starlo’s gaze again. “I just need to think on it.”

“Take as much time as you need. And… wherever you go, I’ll be with you. If you want me to.”

“Of course I do,” she responded, her heart swelling. He was always there for her, no matter what, and even though the guilt of him having to stay underground was killing her, the smile she gave him was genuine.

He took a moment to study her face, noticing the way her lips were pulled into a real smile and her eyes were slightly squinted. He noticed the bags under her eyes and the way her fur was stained with tears. He noticed the way she studied his face as well, presumably searching for something.

Cerobas smile slightly fell, and Starlo quirked his head in response. She took a breath, before breaking the silence with, “I don’t think I can be alone tonight.”

He nodded, knowing was she was implying. “I’ll meet you in my room after I get ready for bed,” Starlo quickly said, before excusing himself upstairs.

He quickly changed into a t-shirt and lighter pants, trying not to think too hard on the conversation he had just had. He so

badly

wanted to go see the surface, see the sun, see the humans and the way they lived. But even more than that, he wanted to stay by Ceroba’s side. He could wait to see the surface if that meant ensuring she would be okay. The surface would always be there waiting for them, so what was a little while longer in the underground?

It hurt Starlo how shocked Ceroba was when he insisted on staying with her. He thought it was clear just how much he would do for her if given the chance. The last thing Starlo wanted to do was leave her alone in a place full of bad memories. And if anyone deserved to go to the surface, it was her.

He took a breath before exiting his room and knocking on Ceroba’s door. No response.

He knocked again, a bit louder this time, and after a pause, a quiet “come in” came from the room. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, blankly staring at the wall before glancing up at the man who had entered her room.

He took a seat next to her, noticing how she very slightly shook. He frowned. “We should probably get some sleep. Tomorrow is gonna’ be busy.”

Ceroba nodded in response before moving to the back of the bed, kicking her legs under the blanket before letting her head hit the pillow. Starlo did the same, both staring at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry I’m making you sleep in here,” Ceroba said after a moment, turning to face Star.

He turned onto his side as well, shaking his head. “You know I don’t mind.”

There was a long pause as Ceroba looked over his face, something she wanted to say lingering in the back of her throat. “Can I… um,” she stammered, looking away.

“Whatever you need,” Starlo responded.

Ceroba moved closer to him before tucking her face against his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. He froze before letting his arm fall over her shoulder, moving closer to cradle the back of her head with his hand. He rested his chin on top of her head between her ears and tried his best to keep his breathing steady and clear his mind
They had slept like this the first few nights after Clover had passed, curled up on Ceroba’s couch, only being able to find comfort in the others embrace. This felt similar, with Ceroba’s head tucked under Starlo’s chin, her hand loosely gripping at the fabric of his shirt.

At the same time, it was different. Starlo didn’t feel like he was holding something fragile, worried that it would break with one wrong move. He was holding onto Ceroba, not a glass, and she was one of the strongest, unbreakable people he had ever known.

“Goodnight, Star,” Ceroba quietly said after she got comfortable, Starlo being able to feel her breath through his shirt.

“G’night,” he responded, trying his best to ignore the elated feeling swelling in his chest.

The two fell into silence, the only sounds being those of quiet breathing and two heartbeats.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Ceroba woke up to the sound of banging, so loud that it could have been the barrier shattering again. She sat up with a start, throwing Starlo off of her as she looked around, surprised.

After realizing the sound was coming from the front door, she groaned and moved to stand, surprised that Star was still sound asleep. She was sure her hair was a mess and there was eyeliner smeared across her face, but if someone was banging that loud, it had to be important, right?

After leaving her room, she peeked into Clover’s room, relieved when she saw that they were asleep. She softly closed the door again before making her way down the steps, feeling slightly aggravated for being woken up so early. (In retrospect, it probably wasn’t

that

early, but she wanted to sleep in at least a little bit.)

Ceroba opened the door, and before she could open it wide enough to see who was on the other side, a feathered hand pulled the door open with the force of a thousand monsters.

“

Clover’s back?!

” Martlet exclaimed, looking like she was ready to burst through the door and find the human herself if it weren’t for Moray holding onto her wing behind her with an apologetic smile.

Ceroba winced from how loud she was being, sneaking a glance over her shoulder as if that would help the fact that Martlet had probably woken everyone else up now. “Shit, I was going to text you, but I totally forgot…” she said regretfully. “Long day.”

“Moray mentioned seeing someone who looked like Clover so… I basically dropped everything I was doing and flew here as soon as I heard!” she said with a grin, her enthusiasm being the opposite of infectious. As happy as Ceroba was to see Martlet, the only thing she wanted at the moment was to sleep a little while longer. “They convinced me to wait until morning to come knock down your door, though, so you can thank them for that.”

“I tried to get her to wait longer than 6 a.m., but…” Moray said with a shrug, clearly just as tired as Ceroba was.

“It’s okay, I know we would have done the same. Star and Clover are still sleeping, but do you want coffee or anything?” she offered, trying her best to be hospitable. They both agreed.

Ceroba stepped to the side, letting the two enter. As Moray passed her, they gave her a sorry smile before going to sit at the counter with Martlet. Ceroba made her way into the kitchen, retrieving the coffee grounds from a cabinet and scooping them into the machine as she spoke.

“Just as a warning… be gentle with them,” she began, glancing over her shoulder as she worked. “They weren’t doing very well yesterday.”

“What’s… wrong?” Martlet asked, sneaking a worried glance at the monster next to her. She tried to calm her fidgeting, interlacing her wings together in front of her on the counter and laying her head atop them.

“Clover came and found me yesterday and they were struggling to walk. It got worse as the day went on,” Ceroba said with a frown, pouring three cups of coffee and sliding two across the counter towards Martlet and Moray. “They were also very low energy. I’m worried there may be some… side effects, after not using their body for so long.”

Moray chimed in after taking a sip from their coffee, saying, “That seems pretty good compared to how they were before.”

Martlet elbowed them hard from where she sat. Ceroba rolled her eyes with a chuckle, placing cream and sugar from the fridge onto the counter and leaning against it. “I suppose you’re right,” she said with a smile, “But you’ll see what I mean. Just… don’t tackle them or anything.”

Martlet nods, adding an absurd amount of cream to her coffee. Moray gave her a pointed look with raised eyebrows, skeptical. Ceroba couldn’t blame them. “I won’t, I won’t! Promise!”

They’re interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the steps, Starlo rounding the corner and rubbing at his eyes. He was surprised to see guests that early. “Here to see Clover?” he asked, a little embarrassed to still be in his pajamas instead of something nicer. He snuck behind Ceroba to pour himself a cup of coffee, leaning against the counter next to her, still groggy from sleep.

“Came as soon as she heard,” Moray confirmed, sipping at their coffee. “Ed, Mooch, and Ace are helping people move their stuff. Well, Ed is. Mooch is watching and Ace is pretending to help.”

“Sounds about right,” he confirmed with a nod. “I feel bad I can’t go out and help, but I’m sure everyone will understand.”

Moray shrugged. “I’m not helping either, if it makes you feel any better. Got better things to do.”

“Like sit in my kitchen at six in the morning?”

“... touche.”

After a moment, Ceroba decided to speak up again. “I’m going to go check up on Clover. I’ll be back,” she excused herself, leaving the three to talk.

Ceroba made her way up the steps, trying to push the worry welling in her stomach to the back of her mind. She hadn’t slept too well the night before, mind swarming with thoughts about how she could be caring for a child again. Taking care of a human child. She didn’t know much about humans, let alone how to properly care for them. Ceroba knew Clover was more than independent, but seeing how they had been the day before, she couldn’t help but feel concerned.

However, she didn’t mind having someone to care for. It made her realize just how much she missed it. How much she missed her daughter.

She took a deep breath, shaking her head to steady her thoughts.

Check on Clover. Right. She could worry about that later.

Ceroba listened through the door for a moment before knocking lightly, giving it a second before pushing it open.

Clover was standing by their bed, eyebrows furrowed with frustration as they struggled to tie their bandana around their neck, fingers not moving the way they needed them to. Upon seeing Ceroba, they brought the bandana away from their neck with a dejected sigh, clenching it tightly in their fist.

“Good morning,” Ceroba said with a sympathetic smile, making her way over to the human and sitting on the bed next to where they stood. “I can tie it if you’d like,” she offered after they didn’t respond, holding a hand out.

Clover still stayed silent but handed her the bandana, turning to face the wall and letting her drape the fabric loosely around their neck, tying the back into a nice bow. She retrieved their vest from the nightstand, unfolding it and holding it out so Clover could feed their arms through the holes on both sides.

“Martlet and Moray are here to see you,” she said quietly, in the hopes of possibly lifting their spirits. Clover turns around to face her with raised eyebrows and a smile that she could just barely see. “Do you want to do anything before we go downstairs?”

“... No, I think I’m okay,” Clover started before looking down at their feet. “Um, actually… do you have an extra hat I could borrow?”

Ceroba smiled, standing up from the bed. “Of course I do. Just give me a second.”

She left the room quickly, a smile still pulling at her lips. Being able to care for someone like this reignited something in her heart that she hadn’t felt in a long time. She thought it would make her sad, to do things for someone just as she had before. Instead, her heart felt full.

Ceroba entered Starlo’s room, silently apologizing for going in without asking and grabbing one of his many, many hats that he had on a hat stand in the corner. She knew for a fact that he wouldn’t mind.

Making her way back to Clover’s room, she stared at the hat in her hands, noticing the yellow band around the base. It almost looked like their old hat.

She opened the door again, offering the hat to Clover who visibly perked up at the sight of it. They thanked her, and even though they were trying to be cool about it, Ceroba couldn’t ignore the way they smiled so hard it looked like they could pass out.

“Is that good enough for now?” she asked as they put the hat on their head, adjusting it until it was just right.

“It’s perfect!” they responded excitedly with a quick nod.

“I’m glad. How are you feeling?” Ceroba asked, regretting bringing up something serious while they were happy but deeming it important enough to ask anyway.

“Good,” they responded immediately, though the tremors she noticed in their legs said otherwise.

Ceroba gave them a look. “Truthfully?”

They shuffled their feet, averting their gaze. “My arms and legs still feel weird. And my head feels cloudy,” they confessed, caving under her skeptical stare. “I think I can walk on my own now.
… but I might need help getting down the steps.”

She nodded, reaching out so they could hold her hand. “Okay. Just let me know if you need me to do anything.”

They nodded before the two exited the room, Clover gripping onto Ceroba’s hand, but not nearly as tight as they had before.

The two slowly made their way down the steps, Ceroba gripping tightly onto their hand as they descended. Clover felt silly, needing this much help to do something that used to be easy, but their new hat helped them feel a little more confident in themself.

As they rounded the corner of the stairwell, Martlet peeked around the monster sitting next to her and rushed to their side with a wide smile. “

Clover

!!!”

She looked about ready to throw herself onto them, but remembering Ceroba’s warnings, got down on one knee and pulled them into a tight hug. “

Ohmygosh

I’ve missed you so

much

!”

“I missed you too,” they said with a giggle into her shoulder, hugging her back. They had the same revelation that they did after seeing Starlo and Ceroba for the first time, noticing how different she looked. Martlet looked even more different than the others did, her hair longer and pulled into a ponytail. Her feathers were darker and sleeker and she wore brown overalls that were covered in paint and patches. Clover was reminded how they looked exactly the same.

“Hey, Clover,” said a voice next to the two, drawing their attention up to Moray. “Good to see you again.”

Clover was slightly surprised that they were the one who accompanied Martlet to come visit them. “Good to see you too,” they said with a nod before being pulled back into a hug by Martlet.

Ceroba watched nervously from where she stood at the bottom of the stairwell, playing with the end of her sleeve as she tried her hardest not to be overbearing. Martlet hadn’t tackled Clover or anything, but she might as well have with how hard she pulled them into a hug. They looked fine though, so she moved to stand next to Starlo who still leaned against the counter, watching with a soft smile.

Martlet, Clover, and Moray talked as the two watched.

“They seem better this morning,” Ceroba said to the man next to her, keeping her voice quiet. “They got out of bed by themself.”

Starlo hummed in acknowledgment, swirling around his coffee in his mug. “That’s good. … do they like the hat?”

“They love it,” she responded with a fond grin, noticing how happy he looked. “I’m sorry for not asking if I could grab it first. Clover asked if they could borrow a hat.”

“You know I don’t mind. I have way too many and I barely wear them anymore anyway. Might as well put em’ to good use.” Starlo placed his mug down on the counter, about to say something else before their conversation was cut short as the three came back over to the kitchen.

“Martlet offered to take me to see Dalv in Snowdin,” Clover started, wringing their hands nervously in front of them.

Ceroba was sure they could see how she averted her gaze, unsure about letting them go so soon while they were still weak. Martlet was responsible, way more responsible than she had been years before, but what if something happened?

Starlo speaks up instead. “That sounds like a good idea,” he said with a smile, nodding to Martlet. “I’m sure he’ll be just as happy to see you as we were.”

Ceroba just nodded in response.

“I’d say we could today, but…” she trailed off nervously, scratching at her neck sheepishly. “My house is kind of a

total

mess right now because I’m in the middle of a bunch of projects and I’m

really

overdue to clean, but I think tomorrow could work? Not to mention maybe moving up to the surface… I don’t know what I’m gonna do with all the commissions I’m in the middle of.”

“It’s a disaster,” Moray chimed in, earning them an elbow into their side.

After a moment of thought, Ceroba said, “Sounds like a plan.” She decided it was best not to worry too much. “We have a few things we have to get done too, so that’s perfect. But maybe later than 6 would be better.”

Martlet flushed, nodding. “Of course! I should get going if I want to actually get my house clean today… but I’ll see you tomorrow!”

They exchanged their goodbyes, Martlet giving Clover another hug and Moray giving them a fist bump. Clover walked them to the door, shutting it quietly behind the two as they left. They stood and stared at their hand on the doorknob for a moment before turning back to look at Starlo and Ceroba who still stood in the kitchen.

After a moment of awkward silence, Starlo was the one to break it. “... do you want breakfast?” he asked Clover, being met with a hesitant nod.

They made their way over to the kitchen counter, propping their foot up onto the base of a stool to try and lift themselves and take a seat where Martlet and Moray had sat. Clover grabbed onto the counter for support, frustrated that they couldn’t bring their leg up to sit down.

Ceroba found herself beside Clover, helping them sit down and taking a seat beside them.

Another bout of silence followed, the only sounds being Starlo’s soft humming and the sound of eggs being fried.

It was almost like a switch being flipped in Clover, leaving them distant and silent. They seemed so happy to see Martlet and even came up with plans to meet with her and Dalv the day after, so what had changed?

Ceroba and Starlo shared a worried look before Ceroba decided to say something. “What’s on your mind?” she asked Clover, facing them from where she sat on the stool next to them. Clover kept their gaze on their hands in their lap, taking a moment to respond.

“Are you planning on moving up to the surface?” they asked, keeping their head down.

Not expecting that question, it took a moment for Ceroba to think of how to respond. “I think so. Eventually, but not yet. Why?”

Clover just nodded in response, chewing on their cheek. That wasn’t the answer they wanted to hear. Star glanced over his shoulder at the two with a frown.

“... do you have somewhere to go back to?” he asked, noticing how Clover tensed with a frown.

“No,” they responded quietly, so soft that Starlo almost missed what they had said.

Ceroba shared another look with him before saying, “... we’ll always have an open room, or if you’d rather stay with Martlet or somebody else, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

This didn’t make them any happier, curling in even further on themself in response. “I don’t know how much use I’ll be if you keep me around, though. I still can barely walk on my own.”

“Much use…?” Starlo asked, a frown tugging at his lips as he pulled the pan off of the burner. He moved to stand in front of the counter where Clover sat, the food abandoned.

Ceroba found herself unable to say anything for a moment. What had they meant by that?

“You don’t owe us anything, Clover,” she finally said with a small shake of her head. “It’s not about what you can give us or how much help you’ll be. If anything, I’m worried we won’t be able to help you.”

Clover finally looked up at Ceroba, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. They took a deep breath before speaking again. “I don’t want you to go out of your way to help me if I can’t do anything in return. … I’ve never really had a real home before. I think this is the closest thing I’ve ever had to one. I just… don’t want to take advantage of that, not do enough, and then you’ll realize I’m not worth keeping around.”

They sniffled, bringing their gaze back down to their lap again. Ceroba watched them helplessly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as she stood from her stool and wrapped her arms tightly around the child in front of her. Starlo walked around the counter and joined her, his cheeks wet with tears.

“You’re worth more than just keepin’ you around. We want you here.”

“You’re already like family to us. We’d be more than happy to have you stay with us… if you’d like to, of course.”

Clover sniffed from in between the two, unable to say anything through soft sobs. They shook their head hard, wanting nothing more.

“And you don’t owe us anythin’. At all.”

They nodded again, wiping at their face with their sleeve. The two hugged them even tighter.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

With Clover being with Martlet for the day, Ceroba and Starlo took advantage of the time to go through Kanako’s closet and hopefully find some clothes that would fit the human. The two sat crosslegged on her late daughter’s floor, going through a bin of old clothing that had been collecting dust in her closet. They skipped over her kimonos, opting to look through her more casual clothing. Kanako was younger than Clover was when she fell down, so they were bound to be smaller, but something was better than nothing.

“After this, we can see if I have any old clothes at my parent’s house,” Starlo suggested after the pair had only been able to pull a t-shirt or two after going through a bin.

“Okay. Clover would probably like those more, too,” Ceroba agreed before holding up a small shirt that was adorned with a moon and stars, ‘love you to the moon’ written on the front in glittery font. “She loved this shirt. It was meant to be pajamas, but she insisted on wearing it on lazy days when she didn’t have school,” she recounted, a solemn smile on her face.

She carefully folded it, tucking the sleeves under and folding the shirt in on itself, placing it on the floor gently. Her hand lingered, not wanting to let it go. After a moment, they continued to look through the rest of the bin. Upon finding a shirt with a horse wearing a cowboy hat with a basket of apples, Starlo was the first to speak this time.

“Chujin

hated

that shirt,” he began with a laugh after noticing what Ceroba was holding up.

“I know,” Ceroba said with a roll of her eyes, remembering the night after Kanako’s 8th birthday when she opened up her presents, more than excited to receive a cowgirl-esque shirt. Chujin wasn’t thrilled with Starlo’s ‘influence’ on Kanako when it came to his ‘cowboy stuff,’ and he thought that Starlo gifting her that along with a coloring book and nice markers was him just rubbing it in. (Star just found it cute.)

“I still think it’s cute,” Star finished with a shrug, moving to look through the rest of the bin.

The two recounted memories back and forth before falling into silence, reaching the bottom of the bin without finding much else. Ceroba folded the few things they found neatly into a pile, barely realizing when Starlo said something to her.

“... what?” she asked after blinking, turning from the pile to Starlo, who looked concerned. “Sorry. Must have zoned out.”

“I asked if we should start cleanin’ up, s’all,” he said again, noticing how she averted her gaze again.

With a sigh, Ceroba nodded, pushing the pile of clothes to the side. “Could you take care of that? I think I need to get some air,” she said quickly, barely waiting for an answer before pushing herself off the ground and briskly exiting her daughter’s room.

Starlo watched her as she left, confused. He tried not to worry too much about it, folding the rest of the discarded clothing they wouldn’t be bringing home hastily, less neatly than Ceroba had. He knew that being back in her home again, let alone her daughter’s room, was probably suffocating, so he decided not to pry. He distracted himself by putting the rest of the shirts back into the bin, placing it back into her closet, and shutting the door softly. He picked up the rest of the clothing before making his way down the steps, surprised to see Ceroba in the kitchen with a satchel in hand.

“We should probably get going,” Ceroba said quickly, not giving Starlo any time to ask about what she was holding. “You mentioned maybe having old clothes back at your parent’s house?”

“Most likely,” he replied, eyeing the bag as she pulled the strap over her shoulder. “What are you-”

“We should leave, then. Martlet never mentioned what time she would be getting back,” she cut him off, brushing past him and heading toward the front of her old home.

Starlo watched her leave, standing in place for a moment before following her with a dejected sigh, realizing it was probably useless to try and get a word in.

It was frustrating when Ceroba got like that, secretive and aloof and unwilling to answer when asked what she was doing or if she was alright. He would ask her more about it later, seeing as it would be impossible to get a straight answer from her then.

Star caught up with her quickly, holding Kanako’s old clothing tight to his chest. “I hope my more… cowboyish clothes fit them,” he started. “I know my parents donated my smaller clothes. No use in keepin’ anythin’ pink around anymore. And I don’t think Clover would like anything like that, either.”

“I don’t think Clover’s the dress kind of kid,” she agreed with a nod. “I’m just hoping for a pair of pants or two. I don’t want them to have to wear the same thing every day. I can take a trip to New Home to see if anyone is selling anything as well. The markets there always have good clothes for children. Mainly striped shirts, though.”

“Me neither. And I’m sure we’ll find somethin’,” Starlo agreed, sneaking a glance over at Ceroba who walked beside him, tense. “We can always belt ‘n hem some things too.”

Ceroba hummed in affirmation, the two falling into silence again as they walked. The rest of the walk back to his family’s farm was quiet.

…

Having much more success than they did with Kanako’s clothes, the two thanked Starlo’s parents before making their way back to their home.

After walking in silence for a while, Starlo awkwardly cleared his throat, trying to figure out what he was going to say to break the unbearable, tense quiet. “Were you… actually outside, earlier?” he asked lamely, turning to Ceroba who averted her gaze.

“I was for a little,” she said after a beat, though Star could tell she was lying. She took a sharp breath before speaking again. “I just had a few things I wanted to bring back to the house.”

Starlo watched her as they walked, desperately trying to catch her gaze. She kept her head turned away, cradling the bag tightly in her arms. Realizing Starlo was going to keep staring at her until she spoke again, she sighed, moving to look forward instead of away but still avoiding eye contact. “It’s just old documents.”

“You’re not plannin’ on…” he trailed off, startled.

“Whatever you think it is, no,” Ceroba responded sharply, shooting him a glare from the corner of her eye.

Starlo blanched, shocked at her sudden change in mood. “Look, I’m not tryin’ to tell you what you can or can’t do. Can't we just talk about stuff before we go do it? Neither of us know what we’re doin’ when it comes to this stuff and I’m just as concerned as you are, but-”

“I

do

know,” she pressed, avoiding his gaze again. She held onto the bag against her chest desperately. If she held onto it any tighter, her claws could have ripped the fabric. “I’ve been a mom before. You don’t understand the lengths I’d go.”

“I know. But not to a human,” he stressed, his voice rising in desperation to hopefully make her understand. “We don’t know what’s goin’ on with them, and their souls are a lot different than ours.”

“So what, we just let them

suffer

without trying to help?” she exclaimed, finally turning to him with wild eyes. They had stopped walking, stationary on the long path from the farm to the rest of the Wild East. “I’ve done a lot of research on human souls. I

know

I can figure this out. I can’t bear to have another child hurt under my care. I’m not going to sit back and let it get worse, either.”

Starlo paused, understanding the implications behind Ceroba’s words. The previous research she cradled in her arms was the research she continued from Chujin. The research that ended up killing her own daughter. He sighed, reaching out to place a hand on her upper arm in an attempt to try and comfort her.

“All I’m sayin’ is that you can talk to me about this stuff, Roba. I’m not tryin’ to stop you or anything, but we can do this together,” he said softly, running a thumb against the fabric of her haori. “We can talk about it more later if you’d like. We should keep walkin’, though. It’s gettin’ late.”

Ceroba nodded, watching Starlo’s hand as he took it off her arm and let it fall back to his side. “Thanks, Star.”

He hummed with a nod as they continued walking.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Clover woke the next morning feeling groggy, having to take a moment to brace themselves before pushing themself up from their bed.

After sitting up for a while and staring at the wall, they remembered that today was the day that they were going out with Martlet to go to Snowdin. They perked up at this, swinging their legs to hang off the edge of the bed and pushed themself off, taking a moment to steady themself as their feet hit the ground. Clover had only been back for a few days, but they had been itching for the chance to be able to see the rest of the Underground again and go see Dalv.

After steadying themself, Clover stretched their arms over their head, trying their hardest not to notice the way they tingled whenever they exerted too much force on any part of their body. They moved to stand in front of the full-body mirror hanging on the wall by their bed, watching themself as they flexed and unflexed their arms, noticing the way their muscles tremored under their skin. Clover winced, turning away from the mirror to focus on getting ready for the day.

They pulled their button-up shirt on over their head, taking their time to feed their arms through the arm holes and poke their head through the top. They didn’t bother unbuttoning it as they knew it would take forever to do it again the next day.

Clover moved to button the top button of their shirt, frustrated with the way their fingers sloppily gripped onto the button, struggling to feed it through the hole. Feeling helpless frustrated Clover to no end, things that used to be easy for them taking way longer than they used to.

They had always been very independent. They had to, or else nothing would ever get done. They always dressed themself, made their own meals, and cut their own hair. They could never expect anything to be done for them. It was their responsibility, after all.

Not being able to help Ceroba and Starlo made them feel useless. How were they supposed to clean the house or make dinner if they couldn’t even fit a stupid button through a hole?

They let out a sigh of relief as they finally buttoned their shirt, looking dejectedly at the bandana on their nightstand.

Clover wasn’t sure what was wrong with themself. They were doing a little better than they had been the first day after they had woken up, but even after doing something so simple as buttoning their shirt, they felt tired. Holding their arms up felt like there were weights tied to them, making even simple tasks much harder than they should have been.

Their thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on their door, Starlo entering after a moment. “Good mornin’,” he greeted them, watching as they moved to pick up their bandana from the night stand. “Anything I can do for ya’?”

Clover simply held the bandana up and Starlo took it, going to tie it around their neck. “Ceroba and I are goin’ to see if we can find some extra clothes ‘n stuff for you today,” he said as he finished tying the back into a bow.

They nodded in response, reaching to grab their vest from the table. They were able to put it on by themself with minimal help, Starlo straightening out the front for them. “I’m excited to go see Martlet and Dalv today,” they said after a while, prompting a smile from the monster.

“Dalv’ll be super happy to see you. I haven’t seen him in a lil’ while, though. He’s been tourin’ through the underground and playin’ music last I heard.”

“Really…?” Clover asked, surprised. The last time they heard his organ skills, they weren’t exactly… amazing, so the fact that he was playing all around the underground was exciting. “How did you meet him?”

Starlo paused for a moment. “Well, ah…” he started, trailing off. “We had a small funeral for you after your passin’. Martlet invited him and since then we’ve met up every now n’ then at the saloon. He’s come out of his shell a bit more since then. Pretty sure that’s your doin’, too.”

Clover grinned. They continued to get ready in relative silence with Starlo’s help, the monster brushing through their hair and tying it into a low ponytail. They finished by putting their hat on their head which gave them a small burst of energy. Having their hat made them feel more like themself.

Starlo gave them a pat on the back before helping them down the steps. They gripped his hand tightly, making it downstairs a little faster than it would normally take.

…

Clover perked up as they heard a knock on the door, finishing the last bite of their toast before pushing themself off of the bar stool they sat on. They only wobbled for a moment before making their way to the door, greeting Martlet who stood in the doorway with a jacket in hand.

“Good morning!” she greeted enthusiastically, stooping down to wrap Clover in a hug. “Are you ready to go?”

Clover nodded back quickly, turning back to Starlo who was rounding the corner of the counter to talk to the two. “Do you need anythin’ before you two get goin’?”

“I don’t think so…” Martlet trailed off, turning to look through her large messenger bag that looked quite overfilled. “I have anything we could possibly need in case anything goes wrong! Which… I’m positive it won’t, but just to be sure! I like to be prepared.”

Clover also shook their head before leaning to glance into Martlet’s bag, surprised at the sheer amount of things she was carrying. From what they could see, there were snacks, bandages, tools, and other small things that they couldn’t think of a situation in which they would be necessary.

After Starlo and Martlet exchanged a few quick words, they said their goodbyes and were off.

As the door shut behind the two, Martlet held out a wing for Clover to hold onto with a smile. “We’re going to walk for a little while until I can find a good place to take off at. I’ve gotten way better at holding onto things while I’m flying since…” she trailed off, wincing as she couldn’t figure out how to continue. “It took a little while, but it’s been helpful since I started building and delivering some heavier stuff.”

Clover glanced up at Martlet, watching as she stared forward as they both walked. “What kind of things do you build?”

“Whatever someone commissions me to do! It’s… slow work, but after I left the Royal Guard, I wanted to do something I actually wanted to do.”

“You… quit?” Clover asked, frowning and turning away.

“I mean… yeah. I can’t devote my life to work for something I don’t believe in. And the Royal Guard is super hardcore anyways… I just wanted to build puzzles, not fight anyone!” she laughed with a quick shrug of her shoulders. “The benefits were good and all, but I couldn’t bring myself to ‘hunt for humans’ after meeting one for myself.”

Clover stayed silent for a moment, keeping their gaze to the ground. “It’s weird,” was all they could think of to say, biting at the inside of their cheek.

“What is?”

“Everyone I’ve talked to, their lives changed so much after they met me.”

“You know that change isn’t necessarily a bad thing, right?” Martlet asked with a small squeeze of their hand, her feathers tickling their skin. “Without you, I wouldn’t have gotten to do the job I actually wanted to do. The Royal Guard kinda sucks anyways.”

Clover giggled at that, picking their head up. “Yeah. It kinda does,” they responded simply, the two falling into silence as they walked the rest of the way to a cliff towards the beginning of the Wild East. Admittedly, Clover was a little hesitant to fly with Martlet, but their legs were starting to get tired and the heat from the swelter stone above was making them feel light-headed.

Their trip took way less time than it would have if they traveled by boat or by foot, and Martlet seemed a lot stronger than she used to, holding Clover with her talons with relative ease as they began their flight. Maybe there had been some good changes, too.

The two flew in silence, the wind blowing in Clover’s ears loud enough that they were sure that if they said anything, Martlet wouldn’t be able to hear either. Not before long, they landed in the outskirts of Snowdin where the snow slightly thawed by the border of Waterfall. Martlet took a moment to steady herself, clearly winded after flying for so long. She rustled through her bag, pulling out a folded-up childrens jacket and a granola bar for herself.

“I’ll get you something better to eat soon, but for now, here’s this!” she chirped, handing Clover the jacket. It was dark blue and just a bit too big, but it was lined with fur and seemed cozy enough to keep Clover warm.

“Thank you,” they said, clutching it to their chest for a moment before moving to shrug it over their shoulders, trying their best to seem like they weren’t struggling to feed their arms through the holes. Thankfully, Martlet didn’t seem to notice, glancing over to Clover again as they zipped it up halfway. “Did you just have this lying around?’

Martlet wiped at her mouth with her wing before responding. “I took a quick stop at one of the shops in town to grab something for you. It can be a sort of… welcome-back gift! I didn’t want you to get cold or anything.”

Clover bit their tongue as they went to argue, shoving their hands in their pockets. They quietly thanked Martlet again, though they couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt in the pit of their stomach. It seemed like so many people were going out of their way to help them but they couldn’t even do anything for them in return.

Martlet bumped Clover’s arm with her wing, shaking them out of their thoughts. “Are you ready to get going? Dalv should be performing soon.”

“... performing?”

“

Ohmygosh

I totally forgot to tell you, didn’t I? It’s going to be a surprise for him, too! Unless he heard from somebody else about you being back already… but yeah, he’s playing Snowdin tonight!”

“Starlo mentioned that he’s been playing at a bunch of different places,” Clover recalled, stepping forward to walk with Martlet as they made their way into the snow.

…

They stepped into the Honeydew Cafe and Clover looked around, noticing the amount of people taking up space in every seat and table. The lights were dimmed as Dalv played a familiar tune on an organ placed on the stage. Clover gripped Martlets wing a little tighter as they stood by the door, the familiar nervous feeling they got when they saw the others for the first time bubbling up in their chest.

Dalv looked pretty similar, which was a relief to them as they tried to make out his face through the low spotlights. He wasn’t wearing his usual cape, just a white blouse with a black blazer with purple trim.

As he finished his song, he stood as the patrons of the cafe clapped for him. Dalv awkwardly smiled before taking a small bow and rushing to leave the stage.

Martlet pulled at Clover's arm before leading them through the crowd of monsters, the nerves in their stomach making it feel like it could fall to the floor. They knew there was nothing to be worried about, but they just couldn’t shake the feeling.

As the two approached the stage, Dalv waved to Martlet, opening his mouth to say something before he dropped his gaze to the human holding her hand. He looked back up to Martlet, the words dying on his tongue as he glanced quickly between the two.

“Am I seeing things?” he asked, his eyes finally landing on Clover and staying there.

Martlet shook her head, letting go of Clover's hand and patting their back as a gesture to go ahead.

They hesitantly stepped forward, pausing for a moment, trying to think of what to say. After a beat of silence, they just opted to hold their hand out instead as an invitation for a handshake. Dalv took it, seemingly surprised that when their hands met, his hand didn’t phase right through the humans.

“It really is you,” he murmured, before pulling Clover forward, getting down on one knee and opening his arms for a hug.

Clover nodded, surprised at the gesture, but stepped forward and wrapped their arms around him. The hug was gentle, way different than how the others greeted them, but they liked it. It helped calm their nerves. “Howdy,” they said after a moment, feeling the anxiety in their chest lighten. “I liked your song.”

“Oh, really?” he asked bashfully, pulling away. “Thank you, Clover. It’s an old tune I worked on, but.. a little more polished, I hope.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself, you’re amazing!” Martlet chimed in, lightly hitting his arm with her wing. “You don’t tour around the underground for nothing!”

Dalv cleared his throat, rubbing at his arm sheepishly. “Ah, I suppose so. But… why are we talking about me, again? I feel like there may be a more… important thing to discuss?”

“What?” Martlet asked, looking between the two before her face lit up. “Oh yeah, Clover! They’re back!”

Dalv nodded, looking Clover up and down as if he was trying to make sense of what he was seeing. “It is good to see you again, Clover. Would it be impolite if I asked… how??

Clover simply shrugged in response, twiddling their thumbs. “I don’t really know,” they confessed, dropping their gaze to the floor. “I just… woke up.”

“No complaints here, though!” Martlet quickly added, trying to keep the energy between the group positive. “We were hoping to get food, do you have a moment before you go back on?”

“I do not think so, unfortunately…” Dalv trailed off, glancing back up to the stage behind them. “I only have a moment between songs, usually.”

Martlet nodded in understanding. “We’ll catch you after! I did promise Clover to lunch... We can sit and watch!”

“Well, if you insist… I will see you afterward, then.”

The two departed from the stage in the hopes of finding a seat, Clover feeling a lot lighter than before as they held onto Martlets wing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Starlo and Ceroba finally made it back to their home after a quiet walk, the kitsune wasting no time in going to sit down on the couch, sinking back into the cushions with a tired sigh. Starlo moved to sit next to her, looking her up and down as she ran a clawed hand through her hair, her bangs falling back into place over her forehead after she brought her hand back down into her lap.

“... what are we goin’ to do?” he asked, wringing his gloved hands in his lap. He tried to keep his eyes from wandering to the bag that rested in Ceroba’s lap, but every now and then his eyes flicked back to it. “Things seem to be gettin’ better. But if somethin’s wrong with their soul, we can’t just…”

“I know, Star,” Ceroba responded quickly with a sharp tone, her eyebrows furrowing as she dipped her head. “We’re going to figure out what to do. I just have to- I know something I have will help.”

“Somethin’ you have?” Starlo asked, not even bothering to hide the way his eyes fixed on the bag of documents in her lap anymore.

“I-It’s just paper. Research I did before… everything. I’m not going to try anything, but it doesn’t hurt to go through.”

“... okay,” he reluctantly agreed before inching slightly closer, trying to read her expression with a small tilt of his head. “You don’t have to do any of this alone, y’know. I’m not good with science-y stuff, but I’d like to think I have a level head on m’ shoulders. I can offer my input.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, hesitating before moving to pull the pile of paper and notebooks out of the satchel. Ceroba flipped through the paper on top of the pile quickly with her thumb, sighing and letting the cover fall shut again.“It’s a lot. I remember writing something about human souls and… ugh.”

She dropped the papers onto her lap, her head falling back against the couch and rubbing at her eyes. “I wish the Royal Scientist knew how to do her damn job. I wouldn’t have to go through this shit in the first place.”

“That’s always another option if things go South,” Starlo suggested, biting at his tongue after Ceroba whipped her head to the side to look at him, her mouth turning into a tight frown.

Before she could get a word in, their front door swung open. Clover entered with a big smile and a coat in hands, followed by Martlet who looked very winded with a messy ponytail and labored breaths. Ceroba quickly shoved the bag off of her lap, Starlo scooting away from her as the paper fell in between them.

“Have fun?” Starlo asked, rising from the couch to greet the two at the door. Ceroba stayed seated but watched as he approached them.

“The most!” Martlet chipperly responded, a smile on her face. Clover nodded quickly next to her. “We got dinner and watched Dalv perform.”

“He was really good!”

“I’m glad to hear it!” Starlo said with a grin, moving to stand at Clover’s side. “We haven’t seen one of his shows in a while. We could probably make another stop sometime soon.”

Clover smiled back at him with a hesitant nod. “... I’d like that,” they said after a moment, reaching out to hold onto Starlo’s hand. He grabbed it, giving it a firm squeeze and trying not to let worry seep onto his face.

“It’s a date, then!” Martlet quickly added, crossing her wings over her chest. “It’s been a while since we’ve all gotten together again. This just gives us a good excuse!”

“It does,” Starlo replied. “I’ve been meanin’ to get out again.”

“I’ll… try to keep in touch! Things have been so super hectic… I still have a bunch of commissions and cleaning and packing to get through so I

really

should really get going. Thanks for such a great day, Clover!” she beamed, getting down on one knee to scoop them into a quick hug. “And I’ll see you soon!”

Clover hugged her back and nodded. “Okay,” they responded simply, holding the hug for a few seconds before reluctantly letting go, immediately going back to hold Starlo’s hand again after they parted.

She stood up swiftly, saying her goodbyes and waving a wing to Ceroba who nodded in response before leaving just as quickly as she came, turning on her heel and getting ready to fly away.

Clover tugged gently at Starlo’s hand again as they watched the door close behind her, Star taking it as a cue to find a place next to Ceroba on the couch, their shaking legs not going unnoticed. She was staring distantly at the floor but mustered up a smile as the human sat beside her.

“I take it you had a good day, then?” she asked, moving to ruffle their hair with their hat. Clover quickly ducked out of the way but giggled, nodding their head.

“I had a really good time!” they said, falling back onto the couch and kicking their feet. Despite their good mood, Ceroba couldn’t help but notice how tired they looked. “Martlet was telling me about her new job and we walked around Snowdin before dinner. And the coat she got me is really nice.” Clover said the last part hesitantly, hugging the jacket against their chest and leaning their head back against the headrest of the couch.

Star caught Ceroba’s eye over Clover’s resting head and chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying to communicate what they were both thinking.

“... are you feeling okay, Clover?” Ceroba finally asked after looking away from Star, trying to keep herself from frowning at them with worry.

The child took a moment to respond, their legs falling back against the bottom of the couch as they stopped swinging. “I think so,” they finally answered, though their voice sounded fatigued. “Tired.”

“... it’s okay if you aren’t,” Starlo added, catching Cerobas worried gaze. “Is there anythin’ we could do?”

After another pause, Clover shook their head, slowly kicking their feet against the edge of the couch again.

“How

are

you feeling?” she pressed, moving to face the child next to her, pushing the pile of documents further towards the armrest of the chair.

“I think I’m getting better,” they said, twiddling their thumbs in their lap. “It just feels like I’m not used to my body or something. I can walk, but it gets tirin’ real easy. Everything does.”

Starlo nods, shooting Ceroba another worried look. She kept her eyes down at her lap, picking at the skin around her nails as she thought of what to say, a hand still placed behind her over the bag of documents she was practically sitting on. “I… think the best course of action would be to take you to the Royal Scientist, but… I don’t think I trust her anymore.” She clutched at the paper behind her back tightly, keeping her other arm folded nicely in her lap

“If it stays this way and doesn’t get any better, though, it may be the only option we have to-”

“No.” Ceroba quickly cut Starlo off, leaning forward from the back of the couch, sitting upright. “You know what happened last time and I’m

not

letting it happen again. I’ll figure it out myself. I know a lot about souls, I’m sure I can fit the pieces together. She’ll just do nothing but- but-”

Starlo put his hands up in surrender, backing away from Ceroba and shooting a quick glance at Clover. “Look- I just don’t think we should play with this stuff any more than we have to. I trust your research, but it could be wrong or outdated and I don’t know if it’s best to-”

“What? Best not to mess with since I already

fucked

it up once?” she snarled, balling her skirt up in a tight fist as she spoke.

“Ceroba, you know

damn

well that’s not what I was gonna say.”

“You might as well

have

. And I know this isn’t too outdated, if I can just find a nudge in the right direction through this stuff, I might be able to-”

She was cut off by a quiet whimper, Clover looking up at her with what she thought might have been fear in their eyes. She also couldn’t help but notice how hurt Starlo looked. Ceroba took a deep breath, letting go of her skirt and smoothing it out before she spoke again, guilt gnawing at the pit of her stomach.

“I’m sorry,” she said after a moment, tone measured, to both Clover and Starlo. “This is just… a

very

sore subject for me. I can’t watch the same thing happen to you too. I can’t be hopeful, taking you to the lab for a solution for you to only end up-” Her voice cracked and she paused, gripping at the fabric of her skirt again.

Despite herself, she felt tears welling in her eyes, from both anger and sorrow. She blinked a few times, opting not to continue her original thought. “... I care about you, Clover. I don’t want anything to happen to you under our watch.”

Clover watched her silently, biting at their cheek. It was weird for someone to care about them so much. “I’m sure it’ll get better by itself,” they forced out after a moment, trying to ignore the way their joints ached. “It’s probably not anythin’ to worry about.”

“But we’re not gonna’ take any chances,” Starlo insisted with a shake of his head. “Whatever it takes to keep you healthy n’ safe, we’ll do.”

He locked eyes with Ceroba as he said this with a pleading look, watching as the gears spun in her head as she bit back another argument. “... if it ends up with us taking you to the lab, then that’s fine. I’m… open to discussing options with her. Whatever it takes,” she parroted with a nod.

“... Thank you,” Clover muttered, wringing their hands uncomfortably.

Ceroba cleared her throat and stood up after a moment of silence, the bag held tightly against her chest. “I think I’m going to head to bed now,” she stated, bidding them both a good night and turning on her heel to leave the living room, waiting until she had turned away to wipe at her under eyes.

The two watched her leave, Clover turning to look at Starlo after she rounded the corner and disappeared into the stairwell.

“... I don’t want to make you guys worry this much about me,” they uttered, their eyes focused on their lap.

“You’re not makin’ us,” Starlo insisted with a smile, knocking them on their shoulder gently. “If there’s somethin’ we can do to help, we’ll do it.”

They looked up at him from behind the rim of their hat, and after a moment of consideration, said “... okay.”

“And bein’ worried isn’t necessarily a bad thing,” he decided to add, reaching up to straighten Clover’s bandana with a crooked smile. “It means we care about you, and I don’t mind worryin’ as long as you’re well and safe.”

Not knowing what else to say, Clover simply nodded.

They didn’t look like they believed him, but Star would keep on insisting until it was clear that they did.

After a beat, Starlo flicked the rim of their hat, snickering as Clover quickly reached up to prevent it from falling off of their head. “Alright, alright, time for bed,” he quickly surrendered as Clover furrowed their brows playfully, avoiding a play-fight and pushing their hat firmly back onto their head.

He stood from the couch and helped Clover follow suit, grabbing onto their hand and hoisting them up. “You think you’ll be able to take on the stairs?” Starlo asked with a quick squeeze of their hand, letting go as Clover nodded and made their way to the stairwell.

He held them by the arm as they made it up the steps, trying hard not to hold onto Clover too tight or too loose, focusing on each stair as they ascended. Despite their previous conversation, the worry in Star’s stomach festered, gnawing at the pit of his gut and making him feel nauseous. He knew there was nothing more that he could do other than help the kid up the steps and help them change into something other than their usual outfit, way overdue to be washed, but the feeling that he wasn’t doing enough kept playing at his mind anyways.

Clover got ready for bed quietly with minimal help from Starlo, cracking a smile at the silly graphic tees he and Ceroba had managed to find. Clover settled on a pair of Star’s old blue plaid pajama pants and a plain shirt he assumed must have been his brothers by how it fits snugly at their shoulders.

They managed to climb up into the bed on their own, earning a high five and ruffled hair from the monster.

Making his way to the doorway, Starlo peeked over his shoulder one more time at the human. “Sleep tight, Clover. Love you,” he called into the room before shutting off the light. Not that he regretted it, but he hadn’t expected to say the second part of the sentence until it had slipped right out of his mouth.

The dark room was silent for a moment other than the sound of shuffling blankets before Clover’s small voice cut through the darkness, groggy with tiredness. “Love you too. G’night,” they said, the smile in their voice enough to calm Starlo’s nerves, shutting the door behind him with a soft

click.