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Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy figures the worst thing that could happen to her is being stranded. Yes, she has her friends and her boyfriend around her, and sure, the island is filled with goods and they should have been dead weeks ago but they still aren’t because JJ knows how to fish and all is somewhat

well

. Well enough that they’re alive, if she was honest, because she didn’t see herself leaving here all her life, thank you very much.

But she wasn’t ready to learn who she was outside of the OBX.

She was always used to being what people saw in her. She changed shape anytime she wanted to, or at least that’s what she wanted to believe. It felt more like murder each time, but Kathryn had rarely been the same person twice. She was only ever what other people made of her, and if sometimes, she was a Pogue, she was JJ’s girlfriend, she was a best friend and she tried to be this softer version of herself they wanted to see in her, there were times when she was still a Kook Queen, with the hatred that came from it.

But in the middle of nowhere, there was

no point

in burning herself to the ground and shaping the ashes. Her friends stopped seeing the ghost of the girl they knew – Kathryn herself has made sure she was put to rest, left the room. No, there was only her, and the gaping chasm between who she was now and who she wanted to be. How she got to the other side was a mystery to her.

A mystery this

damn deserted island

kept rising to the surface. A place where she could actually think about who that would be. She thinks Pope called it

processing her trauma

or something like that, but it has been said that Kathryn doesn’t deal with that sort of thing. Why cope healthily when you can just ignore the problem?

Problems are like dogs you leave behind, their leash tied to a tree in a forest. You can go as far as you can, you’ll still hear the bark, you’ll still feel the guilt.

The silence of the deserted island made it worse.

Kathryn had decided long ago — she would stop being the forest fire. She would stop lashing out at everyone when her emotions were bubbling. But it wasn’t enough. She needed to be who her friends wanted her to. She needed to be someone JJ deserves. She was no longer a forest fire. She decided to be the calm sea people had fun with, swimming around. Picture perfect.

She forgot entirely about how hard waves break on the shore.

And that was, to no one’s surprise, because she had JJ behind her. Most of her problems disappeared when he walked in the room. Well, by room, she means the cave they’re currently living in, but the idea is there. The sun had been cruel to everyone. John B and Sarah are littered in sunburns, and that’s without mentioning everyone’s hair, dry with salt – if Kathryn tugged a bit at her locks, she’s sure to have the other half rest in her hand. They’ve taken a lighter colour, too. JJ is almost

radiating

light. It’s like he drinks in the sun, his skin turning tanned, his eyes an even brighter blue than they were. If it wasn’t for the horrid mullet he can’t get rid off, Kathryn would spend her time crawling on the beach. The mullet really is a deal breaker here.

She wished she could paint him like that. But there’s rarely gouache on a deserted island. Only thing she had was a piece of burnt wood and Pope’s white t-shirt, and she decidedly

wasn’t

painting JJ.

“Add the crocs.”

“I’m barely done with the bra – will you stop breathing down my neck?”

“Can’t forget the J.”

“The J I want to forget right now is you.”

Kathryn shoves JJ away from above her shoulder, and goes back to scribbling with her branch. He’s been hovering as she draws for about ten minutes now, and she’s debating whether or not she should use her stick for

something else

.

She’s not sure why they’re making

Poguelandia

’s – not her choice – flag

now

, after two months spent here. Well, she does, but to be fair, she thought everyone knew you could use coal to draw. And she didn’t think JJ would actually convince Pope to give him his shirt.

For a moment, this is nice. She’s drawing a blunt inside a chicken’s mouth as their flag for their island that they called

Poguelandia

, and if it

sounds

stupid, it feels twice as good. She’s not sure about JJ, but Kathryn knows that she does it to forget the very real fact that they are stranded on a deserted island, death at every turn. Kathryn knows that at the end of the day, this is all fantasy.

Not all of them do.

“Rescue?” JJ says, a few hours after they – he, because she’s decently not climbing on a tree – attached the flag to a palm tree. “From what? From… from paradise? I’m not going back.

Ever

.”

Kie shares the sentiment. But JJ isn’t talking to her, he’s talking to his girlfriend, who’s other half of life is back on the Outer Banks, waiting at the docks every night for her to come back. Every time she thinks about her uncle, Kathryn’s throat closes up. She wants to lash out, for how careless his words are, how care

free

he seems, and she does not.

She forces herself not to be snappy. “I’d figure paradise has significantly

more

beds and showers?”

He makes a face. “Well, yeah, but look around. We got everything we need.

Right here

.”

She looks down, playing with the strands of her now jean shorts. She managed to tear the fabric on the seventeenth night there. She used a pointy rock, and the sheer force of

why is this bitch always wet

–induced frustration.

“Everything

you

need, yeah,” she breathes out.

JJ doesn’t seem too happy that she’d badmouth

Eden

. “What’s that supposed to mean? It’s exactly like we talked about.”

She frowns. “I distinctly remember

you

being able to surf everyday and me having supplies to paint your board. We have neither paint nor board.”

He opens, then closes his mouth, trying to think of arguments in his favour. He always had this sick need for her understanding. “We don’t need all this fancy shit.”

“Fancy sh–

showers?

Beds? A

roof?

That’s not fancy shit, JJ, that’s just quality of life.”

“Well, I don’t need that,” he shrugs.

“Yeah, smells like you don’t.” She looks up at him, eyes squinted against the sun. “But I do. Don’t make me feel bad because I want more.”

JJ stands silent for a handful of seconds. They’ve been having this weird fight for a few weeks now, which means more now that they’re stranded here than it used to. It’s a loop they’re both trying to get out of. Kathryn or JJ says something that sends the other spiralling. Kathryn finds JJ’s romanticised version of the island hypocritical and feels the need to point out it doesn’t work. This is a very real, life-threatening situation. In turn, JJ tells her that they don’t need more. She’s mortified, every time. And every time, JJ is frantic. He wants her to see this the way he does.

He wants his dad to be wrong. When he told him, on that boat before he left, that Kathryn would always want more, more than what he could give her, JJ had

desperately

wanted him to be wrong. And maybe, back on the OBX, it would have worked, who knows.

But not here. Not when they’re both reminded of the opposite.

“I didn’t mean to,” he says, because he didn’t. He just needs them to be on the same page so bad… JJ rarely thinks of consequences, even on a good day. “I’m sorry.”

Luckily for him, Kathryn smiles again, the soft smile that’s always just for him, and shrugs. “It’s okay. Pope just said that I needed to communicate more on how I felt and, like, since when was he a shrink? Isn’t he supposed to be a coroner?”

JJ finally cracks a smile, and a soothing warmth blooms in her chest. “He’s scared mom and dad are going to divorce.”

She tuts. “No, Sarah and JB are mom and dad. You’re the weird uncle with the hot wife.”

“I’m not going to disagree on that.”

His lips linger on hers with the taste of salt from the sea. He just came back from fishing with Kie, and she most definitely pushed him in the water at some point. Kathryn doesn’t mind, as her hand finds his cheek and she deepens the kiss. There are worse reasons for it to be salty.

Later that day, they’re sitting around the campfire in the cave they claimed, a few days after their arrival. Sarah has braided leaves from a palm tree into a crown, that they pass each other as they play truth or dare.

“John B, your turn,” she says, giving him the crown. “Truth or dare?”

“All right, all right. Truth,” he says as she crowns him.

“This is exciting,” Cleo ironises.

“If you could do it all again… what would you do different?”

He inhales sharply, but the answers come from everywhere at one.

“Uh, get the gold out before Ward did,” JJ first says.

“Maybe hide the Cross a little better,” Pope adds.

“Not yell ‘murderer’ at Ward, maybe.”

“I’m not sure I’d let Rafe kidnap me, but that’s up for debate.”

“No debate,” JJ frantically retorts. “None. Zero.”

“Uh, steal a couple bottles of rum before we jumped off the boat?” John B finally proposes.

“Yeah, why didn’t you do that, actually?”

“Maybe ‘cause I was in a fight to the death?”

Kathryn shakes her head. “Excuses, excuses…”

“I would look both ways before crossing the street,” Cleo tells them.

John B suddenly remembers he almost ran her over. “Yeah, my bad. My bad.”

“Your turn, chief.”

He crowns Kathryn, who does an exaggerated little bow. “Alright, bug, truth or dare?”

She hums. “Truth.”

“All right, um… If you could go home, to the Palace, this instant… would you do it?”

Yes

. She doesn’t just want to say it, she wants to scream it. But all eyes are on her, and she knows what answer they want. Kathryn had vowed to be a good friend.

“Of course not,” she lies through her teeth.

Everyone cheers. Everyone agrees. JJ’s smile is the brightest, it rivals the sun at any rate. Kathryn’s feels like a pale reflection of it, a moon smirk with a hidden truth.

Of course, because they are Pogues and they can’t do anything lightly, their game ends after JJ takes a big jump into the sea from a cliff that’s as high as it is dangerous, which is quite a lot. Kathryn nearly passes out from seeing him, and hugs him tightly against her when he does come out of the water.

The days are the same, on the island. It’s an odd sense of normalcy, a routine that doesn’t quite lull her into submission.

When it’s dark and the stars are out and JJ is passed out, laying across her, holding her in his arms, the pang of hurt that tugs at her heartstrings is harder to ignore. She shoves it away, everytime she remembers Henry and Max, and Billy. No one on this island needed to see her depressed, crying, hollow. They needed to stay alive, have some hope. And Kathryn needed to be

easy

. She needed to be a

good friend

.

Pope wanted her to

communicate

her emotions, but the only reason she did it with JJ, is because she knew it’d help their relationship. Because it was what a good girlfriend was. Because it was the only way she could make up for the poor excuse of a daughter she had been to Henry.

Besides, he never said anything about

showing

them. Kathryn always had a problem with that part. She’d never cry in front of any of them if she could help it. They’d sooner skin her alive – she’d be less exposed.

And that included JJ.

It doesn’t matter. The days are the same on this island. Tomorrow, one of them will say something bad, and apologise. The only thing of any importance here is that the other will forgive. Words don’t have to be knives anymore. They can be accidental papercuts. They can be a small fix-it kiss.

JJ can soothe her aches, he can try to make her see the good side of things. Drive himself mad trying to make her understand him. It’s not that she doesn’t, she

does

. The Outer Banks has given him nothing but pain, lately, he wants nothing more from it. It’s that she can’t reciprocate.

But JJ waits for the next day, a new opportunity for him to convince her, not to make her want less, but for her to think that having him and the open sea was enough.

But Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy would always want more. She had learned that from her mother.

Tomorrow won’t be different.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn thanks her sixteen years of age for her back. Anywhere near thirty, and the sand would have busted her lumbars, she’d be hunched over forever, like freaking Quasimodo. And anyway, it’s not like they get enough sleep for her to break her back over. The Pogues, for once in their lives, wake up at the same time – with the sun. They hate it, but she’d always been an early bird.

Except, well, right now, her ears are still clogged with sleep and eyes still shut and JJ’s weight is still thrown across her chest, his head in the crook of her neck as she noses his blond hair. They’ve somehow retained that citrusy smell. His legs comfortably lying between and over her own barely twitch when they start hearing screams.

He lightly holds her closer to him, burying his head deeper in her scent. “Why’s your best friend yellin’ right now?” he asks, lips moving against her collarbone.

She hums non-commitally. “Before sunrise, he’s your best friend.”

There’s a moment of silence, and they settle back to sleep, shuffling around for the other’s body heat. Whatever crisis John B is having, it can wait. Usually it’s about asking whether or not the bug near his foot is dangerous, to which she always responds with ‘

Don’t wait for my answer, haul ass just in case!

’ He can handle himself. She thinks.

Well…

“

There’s a plane!

”

Kathryn freezes, feeling JJ tense up against her. She wonders for a second if John B’s lost all his marbles, which wouldn’t exactly be a surprise considering he only has half of them on a good day. She sits up, her boyfriend groaning as he goes with her.

A white plane is circling the island.

Her stomach drops then soars, and she’s on her feet before she can register what she’s seeing, pointing at it, and then gesturing madly at Pope, adrenaline and hope surging through her veins. She screams at him to go light the pyre on top of the cliff, to signal that they’re

here

, that they’re alive, stranded, and that they want to go home.

After a few, long, excruciating minutes waiting for Pope to light the fire and then for the plane to notice it, they watch as it turns around in the direction of the cliff, heaving out sighs and whooping in the air.

There’s a thousand different things to take into account, as they all hug each other and laugh and she thinks she sees Sarah cry. First of, the only ones who know where they are, or at least have an idea, are the Camerons. So there’s a good chance that whoever is up there works for them, but at this point, Kathryn will take anything, including a one on one with Rafe if it means getting back to her uncle.

Second of, if it’s not, they’re about to have a good surprise as to exactly

where

they are considering they still have no idea. And then, they’d have to actually get home from that point, and if she doesn’t doubt that JJ would know his way back by some navigational miracle, Kathryn does have a thought as to how they’d score a

boat

in the first place. Then again, they could always call Henry, who’d definitely scream himself hoarse at whatever scammer thought it’d be a good idea to use her name, before settling down and probably teleporting to wherever they are.

Third of, there’s a distinct lack of JJ jumping up and down next to her.

JJ stares uneasily between her and the plane. He knows that this was all Kathryn ever wanted ever since they got on the island, and he knows she’d lost hope the first month in. Worst of all, he knows he shouldn’t have been reassured that she did.

He wasn’t dense enough or didn’t care about her enough to not be happy for her. He was. But he was terrified. Mortified, even. The only thing he could think of, the only thing the OBX brought to his mind was his dad, telling him that their relationship was doomed from the start. How could he be happy about going back there, if

this

was waiting for him?

And anyway, they were nowhere near that now. Kathryn was too focused on the moment, the fact that JJ wasn’t happy, growing gloomier by the second, thoughts rattling in her brain and forcing her worry to remain

worry

and not be tainted into frustration and anger. JJ is too focused on the future, and what going home would mean for him, for them. Already trying to think of ways to stay with her when she wasn’t even gone.

But they were still standing on the beach, looking at each other without realising they’d turn to the other. Kathryn tears her gaze off of him, keeping herself busy, gathering the very scarce stuff she had with her, which was nothing at all, but she pretends to have something to do. Seeing JJ’s kicked puppy dog eyes as they were actively being

rescued

irked her in ways he didn’t deserve.

On their way to the cliff, John B grabs her hand and tugs her when he sees her lag behind, waiting for JJ.

They’re already talking to the pilot when he catches up to her, the five others up ahead. Even Kie, who suddenly seemed to remember that if her parents were arseholes, the quality of life she had on the Outer Banks wasn’t worth this.

Kathryn figures that her new version of a good girlfriend would not let her own feelings get in the way of comforting him, even if it was for things she didn’t understand, for things he didn’t tell her.

There were too many things he hadn’t told her.

“JJ,” she starts softly, linking her hand with his. “This is a good thing.”

“Yeah, for you,” he fires back, staring at the scene. “Not me.”

She stares at him, eyebrows cinching, the burning urge to tell him how ridiculous he was, they were literally

stranded

and had just been saved, why couldn’t he see the good in this situation when it was overwhelming?

Instead, she looks at their hands. “I’m not saying it’s not hard, but

I

’ll be there.”

His eyes soften, and he kisses her palm. “

You…

will go to Yale.”

Taken aback, she can’t help the venom that tinges her words, their friends starting to look their way. “I don’t… Oh, we’re not doing this. No, no, this isn’t even the time, seeing as we’re not getting anywhere close to the OBX yet but – if I do get into Yale, JJ, I won’t stay back for you.”

Kathryn didn’t even think that he would be this kind of boyfriend and, luckily for her, he wasn’t, immediately shaking his head, eyes wide. “Wha–no, I’d never ask that of you, you insane? Yale is your dream I… I meant you’ll have

chances

that I won’t be able to…”

To content with.

She doesn’t understand. How could she – he’d never talked to her about any of this, and he was dumping it as they’re getting in the plane, because he thought it’d never come.

“You’re better than me at non-academic things, that doesn’t mean anything,” she says, grappling with what he’s giving her. “I want to go to Yale, and I want you to get a fishing boat and go to Yucatan because I know you’re obsessed with that idea–”

“Yeah but we don’t

want

the same things!”

She stares at him for a handful of seconds, before stepping back. To her, JJ is telling her that they’re too different, that they’re going down different roads, and she can’t help the thought that comes with this. The thought that they’re relationship is doomed.

But JJ is just trying to explain to her, with words he doesn’t control or even think through, the moment feeling bigger than himself, that what she wants, what she’ll want when they get back there, isn’t

him.

He wants reassurement, he wants her to tell him that he’s being silly.

Kathryn only hears that she isn’t what he wants.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, closing in on herself, dejected, taking a step back.

“There’s nothing for me back there,” he presses.

There's a nervous tick tugging at her lower lip. “What about me?”

“

Guys

,” Sarah hushers. “Guys, I don’t think we need to argue about that right now.”

She takes Kathryn by the arms, dead-serious. The Darcy girl tears her gaze from her boyfriend, ignoring the burning feeling in her gut as she does, frowning.

“Sarah, what?”

“John B’s acting like an idiot,” she hisses once they’re further away from the boys. “Look, this guy, Portis” – Kathryn stares at said guy. Long hair tied in a ponytail, sunglasses on his nose, he definitely looks like a Portis – “John B told him about my dad and the boat–”

“Did he leave his brain cell on the beach? Be honest.”

“He’s shady,” she tells her. “It’s weird, I can’t… I can’t shake the feeling that he’s working with my dad.” Her brown eyes get lost in the vague, shame cloaking a hint of hope. “Or that, at least, he wants something out of saving us.”

Kathryn was never one to dismiss feelings of suspicion, considering her own background. “What makes you say that?”

“Barely batted an eye when JB said we’d jumped off a boat… Didn’t ask questions all that much, too. Kat, I’m telling you, he’s weird.”

“I believe you.” She takes her hands, shaking on the good friend demeanour instead of shaking off the touch that lingers there. “But right now, we have no other choice.”

Sarah looks conflicted, but finally nods, getting on the plane after John B, who gives his best friend a two-fingered salute before getting on. Cleo screams goodbye to the island, followed by Pope. Kie spares a glance at JJ, who looks away.

When it’s their turn, they awkwardly walk to him, unsure what to do about the small argument they just had. Kathryn refuses to think that it’s a bad one, because she’s almost sure JJ just got tangled up in his feelings and they came out wrong. He always had a knack for saying the wrong thing, and a good girlfriend knows to shove her own feelings aside when her boyfriend looks so… sad.

He opens his mouth. She half-expects an apology. “Aren’t you scared of heights?” he asks, gesturing to the plane.

She blinks. It’s an awfully small thing, with those kinds of large inflatables to land on water rather than land, which she hates deeply, along with the thought of being up in the air, carried because the wind feels like it right now.

She forces a smile, and a nod. “I’ll be fine.”

He knows she’s lying, of course. “What did Sarah want?”

Kathryn looks back at Portis, who’s smiling at her. She smiles back, waving. “She thinks he’s shady,” she says through gritted teeth.

JJ looks back at him. “Want me to question him? I’ll be lowkey about it.”

“You’re never lowkey about anything.”

He cracks a smile that she tries to reciprocate, but he can almost see that her heart isn’t in it. He said the wrong thing, and as soon as they’re away from the group, he’ll apologise profusely, because of course he’d come back home for her,

to

her. It was only ever a matter of whether she wanted him to or not that bothered him. That gnawed at him like a corrosive type of acid, his father’s voice in his ear.

Kathryn is already up to the plane when he snaps out of it.

“Come on, it’s okay,” Portis tells her, helping her up, taking her hand.

She yanks it back. “Thanks but don’t touch me.”

“You got it. Yeah just tuck on in. Let’s uh, get this shit going.”

Kathryn sits between Pope and JJ, in front of Sarah, turning to her, and giving her a firm nod. Whatever weird vibes she’s been getting from Portis, Kathryn is willing to believe based on the fact that he is a man and looks weird.

She tries not to think as the plane lifts off, shaking like an overexcited chihuahua that’s just about to die. Her hand finds JJ’s in a split second, holding on to it so tightly she’s sure her nails are piercing his skin, not that he’d complain.

Kathryn watches from the window as the island turns into a dot, this whole experience into a memory. They’re on their way, or at least, away from that place, and that’s as good as it gets for her. No more coconut at every meal, or fish, for that matter. No more bugs that could potentially end your life. No more wet sand as a bed.

Absent-mindedly, she realises that she hadn’t thought about the joy she’d bring her uncle when she came back, too entranced with the others’ feelings. But he would be happy, she hoped. He wouldn’t shun her, would he? She hadn’t talked to anyone about those thoughts that plagued her, she felt like they didn’t have the time to deal with that anyway. A good friend waits until others have time to hear her problems.

The only thing that plagued JJ’s mind was

her her her her

, and how he would convince her to still want him when they were back home, to still have him, he’d be ready to beg on his knees, unknowing that she’d never ask that of him. Unknowing that

himself

was the only thing she wanted from him. Only thing she needed was for him to be there.

JJ would figure that out later, anyway. Kathryn would tell him. For now, the island was behind them, and the rest was to come.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It takes about twenty minutes for Kathryn’s anxiety to finally recede and for her to start acting like a normal, functioning human being again. Same thing happened on her flight to Charleston, once she’s up, she’s up. Her brain tells her that it is, in fact, what it is. Taking off and landing, well, that’s another story.

But at least now, she’s more clear minded, and in turn, anxious about a whole other matter. Like, being kidnapped.

Again

. Voluntarily, too. She’s having some massive déjà-vu here…

Luckily for her, Sarah, having grown up in a house she shared with psycho brother and psycho father – even if the latter wasn’t

psycho

just yet – had also taken up second-guessing everything as a second nature. It was Kathryn’s too. She always saw them as the two sides of the same coin. She used to be jealous of Sarah for it. Kook princess, still shiny and sunny and lovely. Everything she had been.

She wished that coin wasn’t as fucked on both sides, now.

Maybe even luckier for her, Kathryn could always count on her deeply mistrusting, con artist, always-down-to-make-the-worst-choice-possible boyfriend, JJ. Everyone surviving this maybe attempt at kidnapping clearly overthrew whatever spat they were in. And, again, Kathryn refused to make it a big thing. Sure, she was hurt, but it was probably nothing compared to what JJ was feeling, if he thought nothing was waiting for him.

Kathryn subconsciously avoids John B’s glances. Not that he’s talking to her, because this isn’t the place to unpack whatever happened with JJ, but she still hears his voice in her head.

Something, something,

‘you care

too much

about everything else,

but you

.’ To be fair, she doesn’t think it’s a coping mechanism this time. She just wants to make it up to everyone around her after causing so much pain.

John B’d probably call it a massive overshoot.

“So what were you doing all the way out here?” JJ asks Portis.

“I got a little guide outfit in Saint Vincent,” he tells him, and Kathryn vaguely places it in the Caribbeans. “I was spotting fish.”

“What were you spotting?”

“You know, the usual. White marlins.”

Apparently, it’s not the right answer. Kathryn can guess why, as JJ and John B, the designated fishermen, look at each other with a slight shake of their heads. She turns to look at Sarah, who’s frowning in confusion. She does the same thing they did – just shake her head a tiny bit, not too suspicious. Sarah nods once. Then glares at her boyfriend.

Portis, his headset tightly set on his head, can’t hear a thing, Kathryn wagers. At least, she hopes so, as JJ takes this opportunity to lean towards the others.

“White marlins don’t run in October,” he tells them. “

Ever

. All right?”

Kathryn purses her lips. “Yeah, figured. We’ve been having

Wahoo!

for days now.” John B side-eyes her. “I only know because that’s the sound JJ makes when he catches one.”

“Well, whoever this man is, he’s not a fisherman,” he goes on.

This was obvious by now. What with their luck being rotten. And the outrageously rich people after them.

“Maybe the run just starts earlier out here,” Pope tries optimistic.

JJ raises a brow. “Are you sure about that? In the Caribbean?”

“Let’s stop hoping for the best for a second,” Kathryn presses, “and start being rational. We all know what this is.”

Sarah nods. “He’s working for my dad, and he’s probably been looking for us the entire time.” Kathryn gestures at her, lips tightly closed.

Obviously

.

“All right, we gotta find out. Start looking for some sort of… clues.”

She follows JJ’s stare to the man’s satchel, and tenses up. It’s right behind Portis, hanging on his seat. Not the best place to look through it. She rolls her lips into her mouth, watching as JJ gestures to John B to distract the man, forcing him to look the other way. She’s not exactly fond of him looking away from the… air road they’re on, but she’ll take that over a third kidnapping.

Except, as all good JJ trademarked plans go, it’s bound to end in total shit. John B talks Portis into whatever picture of a girl is on his windshield, JJ going through his satchel, finding some book about

El Dorado

, and in it, a nice picture.

A nice picture of the

Coastal Venture

, that is.

That’s confirmation enough for all of them. The boat they were on, with Eberhimi, and the Cross, Sarah reminds them. Kathryn bites down her tongue to rein in the urge to call John B an idiot – did he

have

to confirm it was them from the

get go?

“Hey, y’all better hold something,” Portis calls out. “We got some unexpected turbulence up here.”

Kathryn wants to vomit her breakfast (she didn’t have one) at the words, tensions already running high from the sole fact that they’re in the middle of being

abducted

.

“Guys, whatever it is, it’s happening fast,” Kie says, gesturing to the window. “Look.”

Her friend swallows down bile. “I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you.”

“That looks like Barbados,” Cleo spells it out for her. “I’ve been there with Terrance.” Right. Her old boss. At least he was better than Eberhimi, which was all he had going for him.

“Okay,” JJ breathes out. “There’s seven of us, one of him. You know my vote. We storm the cockpit.”

“Immediately

vetoed

,” his girlfriend hisses. “Or did you take some flying classes I don’t know of?”

“I’ve seen Pope fly simulators.”

Pope’s eye twitches. “I crop-dusted for my uncle last summer. This is

not

the same thing.”

“We don’t have time to pretend that’s a real option,” Kie confirms.

“Do you have an idea?”

“One where we don’t crash, preferably?” Kathryn adds. “Because sneaking out after landing gets my vote, I’d rather not die in a plane crash, thanks.”

Pope nods. “If somebody comes to mess with us, we mad-dog them.”

They nod, agreeing with them. Even JJ, who debates on it. “I like the mad-dogging part.”

“You have the survival instinct of a toddler near electric outlets, put his stuff

back

.”

The plane, at the same time, starts to shake. Kathryn grips the plastic seat with one hand, JJ’s shoulder with the other, as he works his way around her vice grip to put the stolen items back in Portis’ god awful bag, John B still sweet-talking him.

Her eyes are screwed shut, which is why she yelps when JJ suddenly bumps back into her, lids flying open to see Portis reach back at them. “Hey, man! What the hell are you doing?”

Kathryn thinks she can hold herself in a fight. If she puts the element of surprise on her side and throws enough of a mean punch, she could make it out victorious. She has the spite too.

Fighting on a plane, mid-air, with the pilot, is deathly different, as you can guess. The first thing she feels, as Portis lunges for JJ, is his elbow digging in her gut. The second is said gut dropping as the plane loses altitude.

“

Give me back my book!

”

“Who are you really?!”

Kathryn seems to fuse with her seat, throwing her foot blindly at Portis, all the while screaming. “Fly this shit! Fly it! Stop hitting my boyfriend and fly your fucking plane!”

It takes about three people shoving Portis back in the driving seat and the other three forcing JJ back down for the flyer to actually start doing his job, hastily raising the controls.

The whole thing shakes like someone is playing with it, the Pogues thrown every which way, until the plane lands nose first into the water, throwing all the crates at the back into them.

The sudden taste of saltwater in her mouth is enough to force Kathryn’s nausea away, reaching around blindly at JJ or whoever she finds first. They all seem fine, at first glance. The blonde has his head thrown back, taking a moment to breathe, eyes bugging around from their abrupt landing.

“Are you okay?” she asks, the others already making their way out.

She blinks away the sight of him, face first in the water, and the feeling of something rupturing near her heart when she saw him that day. He nods, which helps wash it away.

“My bad. Storming the cockpit wasn’t a good idea.”

Kathryn keeps her acidic remark to herself and forcefully shoves him out of the plane, figuring that if he’s well enough to make jokes, he’s well enough to get the hell

out of here

.

Where they’re met with John B and Pope, sitting right outside the door.

“Oh no, they don’t look friendly.”

Wiping the water out of her eyes as they sting, they settle on a group of army men rushing onto the shore, surrounding their landing place. Which is, apparently, the middle of a touristic beach. Kathryn would say she’s glad to see people, however,

“We don’t have the best track record with law enforcement,” she says a little dumbly. “I vote for getting the hell out of here.”

She wishes they wouldn’t do anything in a hurry, but it seems it’s all they’re able to do, all the time, forever. So… might as well start swimming the other way.

Kathryn pushes JJ in the water, and he yelps, but she takes it as a personal revenge for

joking when they were just in a plane crash

. She moves to follow, Kie right behind her. At least, she should be.

Kie’s eyes are pleading when she turns to her. “Portis’ gonna drown.”

Portis is face down against the wheel, water rising fast around him.

Kathryn is going to be honest here – she doesn’t give a rat’s ass about the dude. He just

tried to kidnap them

, and made them land in what seems to be very, very antagonistic territory, she isn’t about to save his life. If he drowns, he drowns. She’ll have remorse tomorrow, but at least they’ll be free.

Kathryn does care about Kie. And she knows her friend, who’s willing to sacrifice a lot to save whatever life there is. That includes Portis, at the moment, much to Kathryn’s dismay. She wants nothing more than to push Kie out, but she knows it’d be no use, she knows that she’d hold it against her forever.

The thing that tops it all off is that, in the deep, twisted trenches of her mind, the vines that roped their way around her heart tugged at her just right to make her think, ‘I owe it to her, for driving John B away.’ Even if the one in question never held it against her. Kathryn still did.

“I’ll take care of Portis, you get out of here.”

Kie blinks at her, the others now very much screaming at them to get out. “Kat, I appreciate that, but I’m not letting you do any more stupid shit.”

Kathryn knows full well that she’s talking about the whole sewer debacle, and her following Kie in them when she didn’t have to. But at least, now Kathryn knew that Kie wouldn’t hold it against her for the rest of her life if she helped. Ergo,

“No, that’s nothing like that at all. I’ll be alone this time.”

She pushes Kie out before she has time to protest, trusting the others, to force her and a certain blond she refuses to think of back to safety.

She hears them scream her name with varying tones of urgency, anger, and frustration, but Kathryn has learned to turn a deaf ear to it from years of living with her mom. She hopes she doesn’t turn around to see one of them –

you know which one

– decided to stay back or evaded the others long enough to come back for her.

Kathryn is a woman of her word. She grabs Portis from under the armpits, and thanks the rising water in the plane for taking a bit of his weight. Forcing him out of the plane is easier said than done, heaving him out and tasting the saltwater all at the same time until they’re free from his drowning plane.

Next part is trickier. Kathryn knows how to carry someone unconscious in the water from the classes Max forced her to take, but Portis isn’t exactly the same weight as a mannequin, and there’s a gathering of army men waiting for her on the beach, so not ideal either.

And she makes fun of JJ and his bad ideas. She’s never going to hear the end of this one.

Luckily for Kathryn, as soon as she reaches the shore, people are there to help her drag Portis out of the water. She thanks them, which must sound more like a grunt than anything, considering how out of breath she is.

Portis finally comes to as she heaves the taste of salt away from her mouth, blinking blearily at her. “Thank you.”

She holds up her middle finger at him. “Did it for my friend, not you, you lying sack of shit.” The swearing must come with almost drowning for a man in a low ponytail.

She can’t focus on it too long – quad bikes are coming her way, fast, and she has to hide if she doesn’t want Portis’ plan to succeed. Her eyes quickly scan the very, very,

very

exposed beach, and settle on two abandoned boats to the side.

She rushes to them, jumping into one of them, ignoring the splinters lodging themselves in her palms and feet, and lays as flat as she can against the floor, heart hammering in her chest, hand clasped against her mouth to keep her panting to a minimum.

This is not ideal. Even if they don’t find her, they’ll have to leave people behind to check in case she was still here, right? Maybe at least then, she’ll have a shot at getting away. She thinks. She hopes. Oh, what did she get herself into again?

She sees the man closing in on her before she can hear him, her heart thrumming in her ears. Her first instinct is to claw at his face, tugging on his ear hard enough to draw blood and she tries not to think about how that happened as she shoves him away and jumps off the boat.

The sand does little to cushion her fall as the shock from it ripples up to her knees, she groans loudly, and before she can think of running away, runs right into another man, who grabs her by the shoulders.

Kathryn only went quietly

once

. She screams, thrashes around, bites on one of his fingers, and puts up enough of a fuss that people look around and back at her wondering why this girl is getting taken away and if all of this is legal.

But she is a girl. And they’re military men.

She tries her very best not to have a panic attack on the spot, the hands on her reminiscent of battle scars she tried to hide everyday with store bought concealer. It’s easier when they shove her on a truck bed, and let go.

Her eyes scan around to catch a glimpse of the Pogues, but they’re nowhere to be seen, and leave her to focus on what’s going to happen to her. She moves around a bit too much for the taste of the man suddenly sitting next to her, who taps his rifle once. He doesn’t need to do it twice.

She’d gladly trade Rafe’s half-thought out kidnapping for this. He was never going to kill her. They very well might. She takes a deep breath, the oxygen caught in her throat and never reaching her lungs. Forcing coherent thought in her brain is harder when it’s not oxygenated enough, when she feels like a dam is going to rupture and anxiety will take her like a devastating wave. The Camerons probably don’t want her dead and buried. At least, Rafe doesn’t, and Ward is scared of his son, so she has a shot at getting out of this.

Portis

, thankfully

saved

and

well

, walks by with guilt written all over his face. Kathryn hopes it poisons his blood.

“You–”

“I know,” he stops before she can get the choked words out. “I know, I know, I’m sorry. I’m gonna try to help you, okay? I swear, I didn’t know it was gonna be like this.”

She huffs, cheeks puffed. “Like your word means anything to me!”

“Look, if you don’t fight, if you just do what they say, these guys prob… probably won’t hurt you.”

Her face scrunches up into disgust. “Keep quiet, that’s what he wants out of me? I can excuse receding hairline, but Ward really is unoriginal.”

Portis’ face blanks out for a moment. “Who?” She blinks. Fuck he means, ‘

who?

’ Ward’s gotta be the one that orchestrated this. He’s gotta be. “Look, just take my advice, do what they say. Good luck.”

He walks away, and Kathryn finds herself alone with the rifle-man and her thoughts. Thoughts that are mainly composed of, if it isn’t the Camerons, then

who

would know to go after them?

Who

would go that far, know that much, and choose them instead of said Camerons? Who, need she remind you,

have the Cross?

What do

they

have?

It’s a good thing that the only person they caught is Kathryn, who knows how to lie to survive. A good thing, that she’s the one over there, because if it had been Kie, if it had been

JJ

, she would be losing her mind and preparing herself to storm whatever place they’re taking her. Oh, she’d be devastated, if JJ had been taken away. How could she function like they hadn’t just taken a vital organ from her?

Kathryn doesn’t doubt that JJ is already thinking about how to get her back, but it just makes her worry even more. She still doesn’t know

who

wants her. Still doesn’t know if they’re willing to kill. Her only hope was that Pope, Cleo, and Kie would probably

not

let the others do anything stupid.

Her only solace as the truck drives off, is ‘

better her than any of her friends

.’

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn Darcy shrugs on her anger like an old winter coat you only get out of your dusty closet when the weather gets drastic. It’s singed in places and doesn’t fit quite right at her shoulders, but she needs it to brave the cold.
They may be willing to kill, but she’s got something they want. The trick is making them think she’ll give it to them. Even if she doesn’t know what it is. Even if she has no idea how they even traced anything back to her and her friends.
The place they’re taking her is protected, awfully so. Dogs ready to be freed when someone steps onto the grass, that is if they get over the ten foot walls first. She wouldn’t bet on her friends managing to get in, which means she needs to find a way to get out, by herself. There’s only so far she can go with the good girl act. Maybe a little farther if she acts all meek, but she’s not sure the kind of person that kidnapped her is sensitive to that kind of thing…The man that forces her to walk along the path straight to the huge mansion isn’t particularly delicate, but she gives as bad as he shoves, shoving back each time she can. When the door opens on a woman in a French maid outfit, Kathryn can’t help but wonder where the hell she ended up.
The place in itself feels smaller than its exterior, maybe because of the huge clutter and patterned walls giving it a sort of claustrophobic eerie feeling. To be fair, the military casually standing in the living room doesn’t help. Kathryn still eyes every little piece of furniture and the decoration on them, frowning to herself.
She can’t really tell from a distance or in passing, but she’s half sure some of those are actual antiques? A conquistador’s helmet, what she can gather is some South-American indigenous necklaces and jewellery… An actual idol protected by glass. She figures most of those are from the same time period, give or take a few centuries. Someone is seriously obsessed. Kathryn herself doesn’t have that much about the eighteenth century at home, and she hyper fixated on piracy big time as a kid.“Take her upstairs,” the housekeeper says. “The Orinoco Room.”Kathryn bites her lip as a lightbulb goes off in her head. Okay, so everything in this room must be from that region; Venezuela. The helmet, she can’t say for sure, but the rest of the antiques in the room share some symbols, and she only has that lead.Except, as far as she’s concerned, it’s a bit outside of her and her friends’ field of study.
When she doesn’t seem to move, the man holding a very big machine gun takes her by the arm and forces her up the stairs, punctuating every action with a word to explain them.He shoves her inside the room, adding an “ Inside ” as if it helped make sense of it.Kathryn sees it as an invitation to ask questions, seeing as he’s more communicative than everyone she’s met up until she got here.“Who are you working for?” she asks with what she hopes is a stable voice. “What does he want from me?”
“Dinner at eight,” the man tells her. “I’d clean up.”Gathering that she isn’t going to get much more from the man, she steps back, biting her tongue and crossing her arms on her chest when he slams the door, and locks it behind him.The next trick is keeping herself busy. If she keeps busy, she won’t have a panic attack. She won’t think about the Pogues panicking, or about JJ fomenting the most foolish plan known to man.
The room is big, with a bed that takes most of the space. Decorated as badly as the rest of the house, safe from antiques this time, so she can’t even use that to distract herself. She can hear dogs barking outside, some chatter, and when she looks through the window, way too many armed military men. She has no idea how she’s getting out of here. Only thing she can do is hope JJ doesn’t think of one first.
From the corner of her eye, she spots the opened closet, with four of the same red dresses hanging with a note. ‘Pick your size.’
Kathryn would love to be a brat and stay in her sea-soaked clothes with sand all the way up her buttcrack, but the door on the left of the bed leads to a shower, and the dress feels like satin under her touch. She figures she can be a pain in the ass no matter what she’s wearing. And seeing the level of comfort they’ve given her… They aren’t just about to kill her.At least, she can hope.
🍓
The red dress suits her too well, she decides. She doesn’t want to wear it in that kind of setting at all. She wonders what kind of psycho decided that putting a teenager in a dress with a slit that high on her thigh and a low-necked damn near her chest was a good idea. Well, whoever he was, he’s lucky that Kathryn barely considers her body as her own.
There’s a banging on the door that shocks her out of her rant, and she jumps from the chair to her feet in a blink.The housekeeper walks in. “He’s ready,” he tells her.Kathryn grounds her teeth so as to not ask who he is, and follows the woman downstairs. She takes a deep breath before entering the living room, preparing herself to lash out at the man who abducted her. The red dress feels like that old winter coat.
“So who exactly do you think you…” Her voice dies out in her throat. “Oh, you’re fucking with me.”Rafe, sporting a new buzzcut, turns around with a glass of whiskey in his hand. He looks just as surprised to see her, and Kathryn wants to claw herself out of this damn dress. She’s cursed. Someone has got to have cursed her.
She raises a finger at him, taking a step forward in fury. “Why’s it always you and your fucking dad? ”He blinks. “What are you talking about?” he cries out in the same tone. “You trying to weasel in on my deal, right now?” He takes angry steps towards her, but she doesn’t budge. “Is that what’s going on?”“Are you coked out of your mind–”“I wondered if your little reunion would cause sparks, you know.”A man, on the other side of the room, turns towards them. He’s wearing a three-piece suit, with skin darker than Kathryn’s but only just, tugging at the buttons of his shirt, chuckling to himself like he’s some villain. Only thing he’s missing is a cat to pet. Kathryn decides she hates him from the get go.“Who are you?” Rafe asks before she can.
The man points to himself. “Me?”Something ticks in Kathryn’s face. “No, the idol in the living room.”It has the benefit of making him laugh again. If it weren’t for the fact that Kathryn hates it. “My name is Carlos Singh.” He excitedly points at Rafe before putting his hands back in his pockets. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mister Cameron.”Kathryn can’t picture a world where that’s true. Pleased? To see Rafe? Yeah, okay. Maybe she’s deflecting the situation because she feels like she can’t breathe in this stupid dress. But that’s between her and God, so.“And Miss Darcy,” Kathryn’s face snaps back to the man, frowning deeply, “I do apologize for the rough tactics in bringing you here. But please, come. Sit down.”She narrows her eyes at him. “Is that a demand or do I still get free will?”“Come on, now. I don’t bite.”“I do.”She ignores Rafe’s eyes, boring holes into her as she reluctantly follows Singh to the sitting area, richly decorated in the same horrid way as the rest of the house.
He shakes his head as he joins her. “Rough tactics,” he echoes, like he cares. “What about me?”“Yes, Mister Cameron, false pretenses,” he admits, pouring himself a whiskey. “ But the ends justify the means, I’m afraid. Sit down. We have a lot to talk about.”Rafe sits on the sofa next to Kathryn’s chair. She crosses her arms on her chest, leaning back, feet kicking idly, feigning a coolness she doesn’t have. “And what are these ends, exactly?”“Well, Miss Darcy, Mister Cameron, we share certain interests, you know.” Not house decorations. “Objectives.”“Is this not about the Cross?” Rafe asks, clearly frustrated that his deal fell through, which makes Kathryn smirk.
“It is . Tangentially, it is about the Cross, but it’s also about something much, much bigger than the Cross.”He stops in front of a painting that Kathryn can’t date, but can hazard is about El Dorado . The conquistador and the city of gold in the middle of the jungle kind of sells it for her. Not a lot of myths fit both standards.“By orders of magnitude…” Singh goes on, staring at it. “...the completion of a grand quest. You see, the story goes that four hundred and fifty years ago, a Spanish soldier came out of the Orinoco Basin with a few gold beads. And when they asked the Spanish soldier where the bead came from, the Spanish soldier replied he got them from a peaceful Indigenous tribe who lived in a city of gold.”
Oh . Oh, so they went from crazy christian lady to crazy full on legend dude. Well that’s good to hear.“Yeah, I think we know what El Dorado is,” Kathryn shortens. “You’re aware that it doesn’t exist? People tried to find it and didn’t for a reason.”“It falls to me, you know,” he tells her, picking up an old knife and she has to pinch herself not to roll her eyes. “It falls to me to complete the task. To bring full circle a quest that has gone on for almost five hundred years. Perhaps… perhaps the greatest quest in the history of the western hemisphere, you know.”She thinks the fact that she’s convinced he’s insane is written all over her face. “Okay… As far as I know, neither I or fucker over there have anything to do with that.”Singh shakes his head. “You’re wrong. You two are going to play a part in that.” Rafe himself looks like he’s considering ramming the guy’s head onto his weird coffee table.“Right,” she clicks her tongue.“I know you’re interested in history, Miss Darcy, like your dad,” he goes on, sitting down next to her.Her nose wrinkles up. “I’m not actually a living vessel for my dad.”
She’s getting pretty tired of getting roped up in things she didn’t sign up for, all because Edward Darcy made himself a name in shady historical nerds groups. She’s sure he didn’t even participate in them, so if they could stop treating her like the Second-Coming of Edward Darcy, she’d appreciate it.Rafe groans. “I didn’t listen to a word you said, okay? How much you gonna keep philosophizing?”Singh chuckles. “You are direct, aren’t you, Mister Cameron?”Kathryn blows out a breath. “A direct cunt,” she whispers under her breath. Nobody moves for a few seconds. “Any time you’re done measuring your dicks, I’d love to know what you need me for.”He’s still sizing up Rafe when he answers her. “I’ve come to believe that you and your friends are in possession of something that can help me get what I want.”“Elaborate.”“An old manuscript. A diary, actually.”Kathryn is lucky she’s had years to teach herself to school her features. She barely swallows as Singh explains it to her. Only diary old enough to fit his weird little fixation is Tanny’s diary. Which they have copies of in the Twinkie. At home.“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Rafe says for her.
She heaves out a sigh. “If you want my secret diary, it’s a no.”“I doubt the fact that the Cross was on the Royal Merchant was in that diary.”“Yeah, because I didn’t know that,” she retorts. There’s no way he can prove that she did. She can just say that they happened to walk past Freedman’s Church when the rotten wood finally gave and the Cross fell out. “Look, if I could help, I would, but I can’t.”“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that, you know.”She smacks her lips. “Well, sorry to disappoint.”He nods. “Yeah, I am disappointed. Because unfortunately, I don’t believe you. You and your friend here couldn’t have found the Cross without it.”Anger burns all the way up her cheeks. “He’s not my friend. And he found the Cross, so ask him.”Singh looks back at Rafe, who pinches the bridge of his nose. “We can’t all be friends, you know.”He sighs. “Look, this is ridiculous. Okay? I’m out.” He starts to walk away. “I don’t know anything about a diary, okay? So–”He doesn’t make it very far before two men with machine guns stop him. He stops, shoves his hands in his pockets, and smiles congenially.“Do I look like a fool to you, Mister Cameron? Do I look like a fool to you? ” Singh gets closer to him as he speaks, Kathryn not budging from her seat. “You have the Cross. She and she friends had the Cross at one point. So one of you has the diary.” Rafe looks over at Kathryn, who holds his gaze, hateful. “And if you really don’t know, then I suggest you convince your friend to tell me.” Stupidly, that doesn’t tame the spite in Kathryn’s eyes as she stares Rafe off. “Once I have the diary… you’ll be free to leave.”Singh smiles at Kathryn who grounds her teeth, trying not to look too hopeful. She isn’t just about to sell Pope’s inheritance off. In exchange for her freedom? Yeah, Pope can sleep with it underneath his pillow for all she cares, Kathryn isn’t moving from this house if that’s what it takes. All of these thoughts do their best to push away the picture of a blonde with blue eyes smirking at her.Realising that Singh won’t get what he wants tonight, he escorts them back to the room they forced Kathryn in before.“Enjoy the grounds during your stay,” he tells them. “I must warn you, though. I’m not a man of infinite patience. You have one day. Go to the window for a little demonstration.” He moves past Rafe and pats his arm. “I think you’ll enjoy it, you know.”Rafe is dumb enough to think they won’t lock them both in this room as the door closes and he screams and jiggles the handle.
Kathryn shakes her head at him. “It’s locked, you fucking moron.”She goes to the window, ignoring the guy behind her entirely, pushing the curtains aside. Her breath hitches in her throat when she recognises Portis being dragged in.
“Who the hell is that guy?” Rafe asks, standing beside her.She shuffles to the side, doing her best not to act as terrified as she feels. “Someone I really should’ve let drown.”Singh, now standing outside, looks up at the window. He gets a gun out. Kathryn’s breath comes in short and hurried, staring as he disappears from view, following after Portis.There’s a gunshot. Singh walks back in.Next to her, Rafe swallows thickly. “This diary,” he pants, and if she wasn’t scared of dying, she’d revel that he was. “Hey, no bullshit.” He abruptly turns to her, but she keeps her eyes fixed outside. “Don’t bullshit me, okay? Do you have it? Kat? ”She sees fear in his eyes, at what she knows, at what she could do with it. She could end his life if she never spoke. It’d end hers, too, but she thinks they both know it wouldn’t matter to her.
Kathryn shakes her head. “No.” It’s the easiest lie ever.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn needs a way out of here. She didn’t sleep a wink, not with Rafe in the room, not even after she forced him to sleep on the floor. But if she can get Singh to believe that she’ll give him the diary, then he’ll let her go and she’ll be able to ‘get it for him.’ Which just means finding JJ and following the first plan he has to hide. He’s good at that kind of thing. Or better yet, ask him to find a way to get back to the OBX and warn Henry, who would probably definitely do something illegal to keep her safe.

She’s getting sidetracked. She wants a parent to hold her.

She has nothing to lose now. Singh doesn’t know where the Pogues are, neither does she, so he can’t get it out of her. That’s the only thing she has on her side right now, but it’s enough to know that her friends are safe.

Kathryn stands up and walks to the window, banging on it loudly enough to wake Rafe, which she doesn’t particularly care about. “I want to speak to Mister Singh!” she screams at the guard when he turns to her.

Rafe scrambles up to his knees. “What are you doing? Shut up! What the

hell

are you doing?”

The man turns away. “As I damn well please,” she seethes, rounding him to try the door.

“Think for a second! Kat, what are you doing?”

Kathryn starts knocking on the door. “

Hello?

”

“What are you doing–”

“Shut

up

, Rafe!” she cries out.

When no one comes, he sees it as an opportunity to walk up to her. She looks up at him, lips curled up in disgust. “You’re lying about this diary thing. You know where it is.”

“Yeah, up my ass. It’s real uncomfortable, so stop pissing me off.”

“Okay, listen, I wouldn’t tell me either. But he’s never gonna believe we don’t know something, all right?” He grabs her arm, as if to prove his point. “Singh killed that–”

Kathryn slaps him across the face. “Do

not

touch me, I’m being serious, Rafe.”

Rafe clenches his jaw, cheek reddening. “Look around, Kat. I’m the only friend you got.”

She holds her chin up. “Then I’ve got no one.”

The door unlocks before he can retort anything, a guard walking in the room, looking especially displeased. Kathryn turns to him, brushing out the creases on the satin pyjamas she got from Singh.

“I need to talk to your boss. Right now.”

She doesn’t spare Rafe another glance as the man escorts her out.

Singh is sitting in the same room they were in yesterday. He inhales and exhales sharply when she walks in, as if preparing himself for the incredible pain in the ass she’s going to be, and he’s right.

“You got me,” she tells him. “I lied. I know about the diary. And I can get you a copy.”

He nods, not particularly surprised. “I’m relieved to hear you say that, you know.” He plops a grape in his mouth. “May I offer you something to eat?”

She arches a brow. “You can offer me something better, I’m sure.”

“Relax,” he says at how taunt she seems. “Nothing’s gonna happen to you now. You’re cooperating, and I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, you know.”

“I’d feel much better out of this place,” she says. “Once I get you what you want. By myself.”

He chuckles, as if finding the idea ridiculous, and Kathryn has to admit that if she’s desperate enough to use this plan, then JJ must be putting himself in jail as she speaks. Oh god.

Oh god

, what if he is?

She can’t think about that right now.

“But how would I know that you’d come back? You know, I need some collateral.”

She makes a face. “Rafe’s here. Keep him.”

Singh himself scoffs. That lie may have been too big. “Rafe,” he laughs, standing up to circle her. “How did someone so young get into so much trouble?”

Kathryn can feel irritation seeping through her pores. “People say it’s in my blood. You talked about my dad yesterday – if you know him, then you know I can get you this copy.”

He stares at her, and Kathryn feels like mice under an eagle, waiting to be eaten. “You know, I built this fortune myself, you know, from

nothing

. From

absolutely

nothing. Do you know how that happened, Miss Darcy? Hmm?”

She swallows thickly. “I’m guessing from the way you’re saying it, it wasn’t by being nice?”

“I can assure you it was not by being a fool.” He’s standing close to her now. “Don’t waste my time. The diary holds the key to the ultimate conquest, and that, my young friend, Miss Darcy, is my

destiny

.” She rolls her lips in her mouth. That man has serious issues. “So you need to tell me where it is, or I’m gonna–”

His phone rings before he can end his threat. Walking away, Kathryn exhales shakily, heart hammering in her chest, thanking the distraction. Of course, that, too, was short-lived.

Singh laughs at his phone. “Amazing. A text from our friend Jimmy Portis. From beyond the grave, apparently.”

Thoughts come crashing into each other in her brain. Jimmy’s dead. He killed Jimmy. They both know it can’t be him. Who would have his phone? Surely he wouldn’t misplace it. Who does she know steals anything he can find? Who’s the worst person Singh could go after?

Kathryn thinks JJ Maybank will be the death of her, one of these days.

“It seems Mister Portis has captured your friends,” Singh tells her, showing her a picture and a text.

It’s Sarah and John B, looking gloomily into the distance, with ‘I got these two’ as a legend. Kathryn’s stomach sinks, the world spins for a second. Surely, they aren’t stupid enough to use Sarah and John B as fake-bait against her.

Surely

… Surely someone had to tell JJ this was a shit plan!

She watches as Singh texts back, laughing to himself. “Amateurs.” He looks back up at her. “Your friends forgot to turn the location off.” He walks off to the front door. “Get the big trucks and meet me in the back. Fenton, get Miss Darcy.”

Kathryn walks over to him, suddenly ready to get on her knees if she has to. “Please, Mister Singh,

please

–” The guard is quicker than her, hoisting her up and forcing her up the stairs. “Please don’t hurt my friends!” she cries out loud enough to tear at her throat. “

Please!

”

“That depends, Miss Darcy,” he calls out. “We’ll continue our chat later. I look forward to it, you know.”

She’s shoved back into the room, the door slamming before she can even try to get out. Holding herself up against the wood with the palm of her hands, she closes her eyes and fights the tears away. She went from having nothing to lose to everything in a split second, and she can’t help but feel angry at how stupid her friends are for trying to get her out of here.

The worst part being she put herself in this position to help them.

If Singh brings JJ in the room, there won’t be a single second before Kathryn tells him where the copy of the diary is, what it looks like, where they printed it, who has the original, and the fucking

prologue

at the start of the journal.

Then, she’ll just have to hope he doesn’t kill them all for sport.

“What happened?” Rafe asks.

She doesn’t answer, doesn’t even move to acknowledge him, and he sighs loudly at her behaviour. She walks to the bed, sits on it, playing with the cords of her pyjamas to keep her hands busy.

She’s not sure when she shrugged off her cloak of anger, but it isn’t there to protect her anymore. All she has is raw, all she has is naked, visible, every feeling exposed. And the worst possible person is in the room with her, watching it all.

“You’re gonna have to talk to me at some point,” he goes on. “Okay?”

“We’re not

friends

, Rafe,” she lets out. His eyes darken, but she doesn’t care. “Do I have to remind you why? You killed Peterkin. You shot Max. Rings a bell? No? You nearly drowned Sarah, and that’s without mentioning what you did to me.”

Tears are shining in his eyes as she hits every exposed nerve with the care of a killer. She finds that he isn’t as terrifying as he once was. He’s quite small, from where she sits.

“Peterkin and Max, I was protecting my father. Okay?” She scoffs, damn near bursting out laughing. “I did what I had to, so…

don’t

.”

He walks away, agitated, sitting on the chair in front of the bed. Kathryn stares, suddenly cold as stone as he rocks back and forth, tears nearly spilling. “Don’t what?”

“I’m as much a victim as Sarah or you are.”

This time she does start to laugh. “You?

Oh, man

. You want me to call 911 too? Stand up, Rafe, you’re pathetic.”

“I’m not the victim? Think about it. Okay? What did I get from shooting Peterkin, or Max, huh? Nothing. Okay? I had nothing against them. I mean, I… I… I liked Peterkin.” He starts to splutter. “You think I wanted to make that choice, huh?”

“I think you should dial the tears up, I quite enjoy seeing you cry.”

“What I did was a gift from me to my father for… for him, and

I

got screwed because of it, okay? So don’t get that look when I say I’m a victim, all right?

I am!

”

She shakes her head at him. “You killed someone for daddy dearest and he still didn’t love you? That’s your sob story? Be

so

serious.”

They stay in silence for a moment, and Kathryn ponders just how much Rafe twists everything until he really does believe that he’s the victim. How far does it go? How delusional can you get?

He looks down at his feet, oblivious to her thoughts, shame overcoming his features. “I will admit, though, what I… what I did to you… what I tried to do, um… what I did to you, I admit that was wrong.” He’s fully crying, by now. “I know that. All right? So you don’t have to remind me.”

He hits his head, for emphasis. “

Dude

…”

“I love you.”

She stares at him for a few seconds, blinking and blinking. She wonders if it’s a trick. Kathryn knows what it feels like to be loved, now. She won’t fall for it.

“You don’t love me, Rafe.”

He stands up, pacing. “No, I do, I do. I’ve always loved you, Kat. You… you get me. You understand me, and I understand you. That’s love.

I love you

.”

“That’s not love.”

“How could you know?”

“You don’t rape people you love.”

He winces, sobs a little, but Kathryn doesn’t. It’s the first time he hears her say those words, clear as blood to him. It hurts him. It does nothing to her, voice calm as she says the truth.

“I should’ve never touched you, okay?” he blurts out. “I should’ve never touched you, but you know, I just lose control in moments like that, and I don’t know what happened. I’m trying… I’m trying to get better. Okay?”

Rafe is not right in his brain, this, she always knew. It never was an excuse. But now, Kathryn was sure. She was never the problem. Rafe’s fake, weird, sense of ownership, kinship, that was the problem.

He’d convinced himself that Kathryn was his saving grace, that she’d forgive everything because she understood him, and how it felt to live with a parent who loved your potential but not who you were as a person. And Kathryn was by no means a forgiving person, but even if it had been the case, she never could have forgiven him. Rafe was praying to be absolved at the altar of a god that only knew to give back as hard as it was hurting. Rafe was praying to the god whose statue he defiled.

And Kathryn was no god, and Rafe was no believer. Rafe was a

man

. He wanted her like a pet, loyal, and forgiving.

Kathryn bit back like a bad dog.

“You can try to get better. I’ll never see it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rafe says, now that he’s calmed down. “All I’m saying is just that I’m not the bad guy you think I am, okay? But even if I was, even if I was just like, bad Rafe Cameron or something… you got no choice. You may… you may not want to trust me, okay, but I’m your best bet.”

She shakes her head. “I’ll risk it.”

He kneels in front of her. “I got a boat that can get us off island, okay?” he whispers. She tilts her head, suddenly interested. “But first, we gotta get out of here, and it is better if we work together. And… and maybe once, I’ve proven you can trust me, you’ll forgive me.”

They hear a truck drive off, and Kathryn walks past Rafe to go to the window. Men were getting in it, armed, no doubt going straight to the Pogues. If she wants to help them, she has to get to them first. Rafe was right, she didn’t have a choice. Not for herself, at least.

But as he was telling her his plan, he didn’t know that she was thinking of her own. All she had to do was go along for a bit. She could do it. She wasn’t scared anymore.

She screamed, and screamed her head off before throwing herself across the bathtub. Rafe hides behind the door.

They wait with baited breath as a man walks in, before Rafe springs into action, slamming the door on his head, pushing him away, then breaking a lamp over his head.

Kathryn lunges for the discarded gun, aiming at the man. “Don’t move!” she screams, Rafe digging his knee into the man’s shoulder blades.

“Huge mistake,” he chokes out. “You’ll regret this.” She already is.

Rafe takes his phone from him, Kathryn tearing the bed’s curtains and handing them to him so he can tie the man up.

They walk out of the room, locking the door behind them. Kathryn keeps a sweaty grip on the gun, suddenly wishing she’d let JJ teach her how to use it.

They rush downstairs, to the living room, where Kathryn remembers the painting of

El Dorado

that she couldn’t place.

“Rafe. Rafe, give me the phone.”

“Why?” he whispers back at her.

“To take a selfie. Just

give it to me!

”

“Okay. Give me the gun.”

Kathryn grits her teeth, before handing it to him. She doesn’t know how to use it in the first place, much good it would’ve done her.

“You ready?” he asks.

She doesn’t answer, but he still opens the door. From where they are, they can see a man standing in front of the front door, outside.

Rafe leads her to the right, but Kathryn stops, and goes to the living room. She takes the phone, snaps a quick picture of the painting, and texts it to her number before deleting it.

“

Come on.

Kat, what are you doing? Let’s go!”

She follows him outside, through the backdoor, which is how he got in, she guesses. From behind the fence, they can see a truck filled with corn being taken away, and another guard with his back turned to them. If they run up the road, further away, they could catch up with the truck before it speeds up.

“I got an idea.”

Kathryn leads him around the house, and they run parallel to the road until she can’t feel her legs, her lungs are filled with flames, and she feels like passing out from not eating.

Right as they were about to lose it, Kathryn gives one last push on her legs, and jumps in, Rafe right behind her.

They come face to face with a man, peacefully sitting there.

He moves to stand up, and before Kathryn can think of doing anything, she isn’t even sure

what

, Rafe hops in, and shoves the man away, hitting him until he’s barely conscious, and throwing him off the truck, and the bridge they were riding on.

Her heart thumping in her ears, she remembers she gave him the gun.

Just a little more

, she tells herself.

Just until they get to the boat

.

They hide, flat against the truck for a few long minutes that Kathryn counts every second of.

“I told you, we just needed to work together,” Rafe reminds her, suddenly euphoric, as if he didn’t injure someone, if not kill him. “All right. Listen, I’m headed out to my boat, okay? I can give you a ride out, drop you wherever, somewhere safe. One thing though.”

She grounds her teeth, turning to him. She hates him thinking he has the upper hand, when he doesn’t, and never will again. “

What?

”

“I know your friends are on the island. And my sister. I’m not helping them. All right? I can’t trust them, okay? I’ll give

you

a ride out, not them. Okay?”

“

Whatever

,” she blows out. She’ll come back for them, even if her own plan fails. “Just get me off.”

“That’s smart,” he compliments, which nearly makes her gag. “You know, I never thought of you as a Pogue.” He chuckles to himself.

Kathryn glowers at him. “You preferred me as a Kook?”

“You

are

a Kook,” he laughs.

She doesn’t say anything else.

They ride into town smoothly, and haul ass the second the truck stops. Rafe leads her to his boat, a huge thing she knows JJ probably dreams of having.

“Make sure to take your shoes off,” he says, and she’s not sure if he’s joking.

Kathryn just wanders around the boat, trying to remind herself how to drive one. Henry showed her how, and it can’t be that much different from a car… right? She just has to take it out of here, and into the harbour, then lay low and wait for the Pogues to get there.

“Okay, we should have enough juice to get us to Saint Lucia, no problem.”

She doesn’t say anything, moving to the bowline, pretending to help. It’s just in the front of the boat. “Hey, I can’t get it!” she screams out.

“What?”

“The bowline. Can you just come over here and help?”

She thinks she hears him mumble something, before he walks to her, tells her to move, and takes the rope off. He gets over the guardrail to throw it.

“Hey, Rafe?”

“

What?

” he cries out.

“I don’t forgive you.”

Kathryn pushes him in the water.

She rushes to the wheel, ignoring the way he screams her name saying that he’ll find her, that she’ll regret it, because she doesn’t care in the slightest. He can scream himself hoarse, she won’t hear it. Rafe is in the water, and she’s the one driving the boat. Kathryn bit back as hard as he kicked her.

The leash has slid off her neck.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn is no JJ Maybank, when it comes to planning an escape. The best thing she can think of is to park the boat in the harbour, drop a pin to Portis’ phone that is

thankfully

saved on this one, and add a text that would prove it’s her.

It ends up just being ‘Meet me at the pin at 6:15.’ with an emoji of a bug, a fish, and a frying pan. She hopes the bug will sell it, but if it doesn’t, maybe JJ will remember that she’s his favourite fish to fry.

Waiting for time to pass is the worst thing. She gave them thirty minutes to get there, figuring that they couldn’t have gone very far if they were,

in fact

, trying to get her out.

She also gets to thinking that maybe, between the moment she escaped and sent the text, Singh’s men got to them. Now, she just has to hope that her friends’ legendary luck to escape any shit situation will strike again.

And

that her friends still have the phone.

And

that they get the message and believe it’s her, and not some sort of trap.

When the time rolls around, Kathryn’s nerves are all over the place, she feels seconds away from crying, and her hands are shaking on the guardrail, scanning the docks for a familiar face. Her heart is in her throat, hammering, a metallic taste at the back of her mouth. What if their fight was actually the last she had seen of JJ, forever? And she waited to talk it out…

If she has a panic attack on that dock, she’s going to be

so

pissed.

The only person on the dock is a moron with his back to her, wearing an honestly awful shirt with a maybe worse hat and a gun under his waistband. It takes half a second, as he turns to face her, for her to realise that it’s

her

moron.

“I hope the gun wasn’t for me,” she can’t help but breathe out, even if her voice is shaking.

JJ stares at her, pushing the hat off his face, starstruck, and it takes Kathryn a moment to realise that she’s the only one of the group who’s showered for the first time in forever, wearing clean clothes, and JJ is positive he’s having revelations.

It hits Kathryn that for a few hours back there, JJ could have been dead and she never would have known. She kept it so far away from her mind, to keep going, to get herself out of the situation, that it comes back like a rubber band and hits right in her ribcage, knocking the wind out of her.

She runs across the docks, JJ meeting her halfway there, arms winding around her waist and across her back, holding her to him as tight as she does, hugging his shoulders. She feels something like a small sob escape her chest.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he whispers against her collarbone. “You really have to stop getting kidnapped.”

A laugh tumbles out of her lips as she leans away, quickly wiping her face. “Next time I’ll tell them my boyfriend’s against it.”

“Yeah, he really is,” he nods along, sniffling, trying to hide the slight tears shining in his eyes.

She frames his face in her hands, chin suddenly wobbling. She takes every feature in, memorises them, paints JJ in her mind until the colours of him are the only things left. Bright blue eyes, albeit a bit red at the moment, straight nose over pouty lips that she’s drawn in her dreams.

“Oh, god. The

location

JJ, why didn’t you turn it off?” He seems bewildered, for a second, moreso when she takes him by the shoulders and starts shaking him. “They sent people after you! Military. I thought you were dead,” she cries out.

A huge smile splits his face, reassuringly tugging at her arms to put them around him. “Yeah, but I’m here now. Okay? It’s all right.” When she can’t see his face, it scrunches up in pain. For him, she could’ve been dead for days and he never would have known. “It’s all right,” he tells himself.

They stay in each other’s arms for what seems like too long to their friends, who jog up to them, screaming and cheering at getting Kathryn back.

She lets go of with a teary grin as Cleo and Pope collide into her first, Sarah and Kie quickly taking over, Kathryn doing her best not to cry until John B takes her face in his large hands and brings her to his shoulder, leaning his cheek against the top of her head.

Soon enough, Kathryn is encompassed by the group and her tears are hidden, but happy.

She clears her throat. “I scored a boat, by the way.”

They immediately part from her, her boyfriend blinking back at the huge

yacht

. “Are you kidding me? KD?”

“Is this you?” Pope cries out.

Sarah splutters a little, but Kathryn just shrugs, brushing the hair out of her eyes. “It’s a long story, but I vote for splitting, right now.”

They start walking – well, JJ skips a little – to the boat, Kathryn flipping her hair in pride every now and then. She gets to, she somehow got their ticket out of there and back to the Outer Banks. Or at least, closer to it.

She counts her friends like a mother hen, and turns back, screaming at John B to hurry. The place she chose is exposed, but it was the easiest one to hide a boat in plain sight. Which just means they really have to go.

They separate in small groups to get the boat ready, as fast as possible.

“Yeah, so I have just a couple of questions,” JJ calls out after her as she walks up to the wheel, and he gets the bowline.

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” she answers with a slight smirk.

“A Lagoon 6620 with twin 150 Volvos – you understand we can go anywhere with this thing, right?”

She makes a face at him, climbing down the stairs. “I’ll let you drive if you behave.”

She sees the bob of his throat. “Way to be discreet, by the way.” She clicks her tongue in answer. “What did they want anyway? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

Something ticks in her cheek, suddenly remembering Rafe and the room they were locked in. She watches JJ untie the rope, and looking up at her with storms in his eyes. “Nah. They were just… Singh wanted Tanny’s Diary.”

JJ frowns. “Why?”

“Delusion, mostly. Like, the last stage. He was convinced it lead to this huge treasure that beats the Merchant,” she explains as he climbs back on the boat, joining her.

There’s a spark of interest in his blue eyes. “You’re saying there’s a bigger treasure?”

She grins. “If he’s not totally deluded himself, I guess?”

“Then sign me up.”

He quickly pecks her lips, before moving away. Kathryn links their fingers before he can go too far. He turns back to her, confused.

She licks her lips. “I, um… Look, I know we don’t want the same things.” His gaze softens. “We’re different people. We know this. But that’s never stopped us before, and I don’t want it to stop us now.”

JJ knows he has to say something, to explain his reaction, because he never wants Kathryn to believe that what she’s offering him isn’t everything he’s ever needed.

“I’m sorry,” are the first words fired out of his mouth. “I have this thing, in my head.” He gestures to hit with his forefinger, as if it’d help his point. “Where I think you’re like… going to leave me. The second you get home.”

The look Kathryn gets should be enough of a reassurement. “Is that thing brain damage?”

He makes a face at her. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. Deathly so. I’d never leave

you

, are you insane?” She looks everywhere but his face, cheeks burning. Arguing is easier than this, but not worth more. “You… I’m so bad at this.”

A stupid smile stretches his lips. “You’re not.”

“

Look

,” she cuts in, harshly, but soft. “OBX isn’t home if you’re not there, okay? So if you’re wondering what’s waiting for you back there, I am. I always will be.” She looks back at him, sighing a little at his surprised face. “So tell your brain damage to fix itself, because your girlfriend really doesn’t like it.”

The grin is back on in a matter of seconds, tugging at their joint hands to get her closer, her fingers resting at the back of his neck as he holds the small of her back. “That’s not how brain damage works.”

She tuts. “That doesn’t sound like you behaving, Maybank. Careful, I’ll hide the keys to the boat.”

He pouts. “You’re mean.”

“Kiss me about it.”

He does, without so much as a complaint. She stands up on her toes to kiss his smirk, hands moving up to his hair to bring him closer to her, which he happily obliges, hungrily kissing back. She laughs in his mouth when he bends her back, nearly folding her in half.

“Hey, idiots!” Cleo calls out. “Stop kissing, we gotta go!”

JJ smirks at Kathryn and the dazed look in her eyes when he lets her go. She rolls her eyes and pushes his face away. “Idiot.”

They walk back to the front of the boat, the others regrouping. They’re about to leave, to go back home, and the thought is enough to make Kathryn buzz with excitement. She’ll grovel at Henry’s feet so he’ll forgive her. She’ll do anything, anything she can, because at least she’ll be home. He can be mad. She’ll still be home.

She’s shocked out of her daze when John B comes barreling past her.

“

Bee?

” she calls after him, bewildered.

“I’ll be right back!”

“You

what?

”

“I love you Sarah!”

He’s running down the street already, back turned to them, not even sparing them a glance.

…Okay?

Pope turns back to Kathryn, blinking. “What the hell?”

“I’d like to know, yeah.” She leans next to him. “In your own time to explain, Sarah Cameron!”

Sarah, still upstairs, laughs a little but doesn’t say anything. Whatever. Kathryn just settles down on a cushion. He was always a little weird, maybe he forgot something, an errand to run. Somewhere to go. John B knows what kind of hurry they’re in, so he’ll be quick.

But he wasn’t the quickest.

Thirty minutes go by, before Singh’s men find them. A whole squad drives up the streets and straight to the docks, spotted from afar.

“Guys,

incoming!

” Kie cries out, staring in the distance.

Everyone jumps on their feet. Whatever they’re about to do, they have to be quick about it, because Kathryn knows for a fact they don’t stand a chance against Singh’s men, not with the kind of ammunition he has.

John B is nowhere to be seen.

She feels her heart lurch. She runs to the stairs, where Sarah’s coming down, as panicked as she is. “

Where’s John B?

”

“He said he’d be back by now!” she cries back at her.

The brunette’s hands go up to her hair, tugging, as if it’d help her think quicker. “

Fucking…

JJ, what do we do?”

JJ is already getting the gun. “We gotta make a stand. That’s what we gotta do. That’s the only option.”

“Okay, forget I asked.”

“Kat we’re

not

splitting up again!” he stresses out, distress coming out of him in waves, each one hitting her harder.

Kathryn can’t agree more, but every time she blinks, she remembers the gunshot that killed Jimmy Portis, and the satisfied look on his face. Those men are

killers

. She can’t leave without John B, but if any other one of her friends, if JJ gets shot because of that, she’ll die, too.

As if Kie could hear her, she shakes her head, voice loud. “Guys, Kat told us he killed Portis, we can’t stay here!”

Instinct and clear thoughts fight themself in her brain. Leaving any other Pogue is enough to make her sick, leaving the one she thought… the one she drove away… That’s another story.

“I know what I said.” She stands next to JJ. “We can’t leave John B.”

“No Pogue left behind,” Pope adds behind her.

“What are you gonna do?” Sarah screams out.

“They’re here! They’re getting closer!”

Singh’s men are halfway across the dock when the Pogues are still screaming at each other. They’re halfway to them, when Sarah stands up, ignoring everyone’s shouting, going to the wheel.

Kathryn, against all better judgement, lunges for her. She doesn’t think, not for a single second. It’s all so quick, Kathryn just wants to hold her back.

She doesn’t make it very far before Cleo holds

her

back. “We have to get John B, we can’t just

leave!

”

Cleo forces her away. “We’ll get him later!”

It’s too late anyway, they’re already leaving when cars and trucks full of Singh’s men stop on each side of the shore, guns raised.

They shoot at the group, forcing them to get down, duck out of the fire. Kathryn feels the wind of the bullets and hears their whistle as they go right over her head, Cleo holding her down.

It stops as quick as it started, whoever decided the kids didn’t need to die for this.

By the time the Darcy girl stumbles on her feet and looks back at the city, they’re out and into the open sea.

All of it happened so fast, she’s not even sure she can process it. Only that they’re leaving, and they’re all fine, but JJ reaches for her with the same disheartened look and Sarah is apologising to her boyfriend and John B isn’t with them. He, too, was screaming that they couldn’t leave their best friend.

He, too, can’t forget what it felt like when John B was gone.

“He’s such an idiot,” she lets out, but even her words don’t sound angry.

The sound of bells answers her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn and JJ have been the Pogues’ nightmare for the past twenty minutes. Having one of them going haywire is one thing, because the other tends to calm them down. Having the both of them team up is another thing altogether.
It’s not that they don’t take the situation seriously. Each and every one of them knows the consequences of leaving John B behind. Apparently, he ran out to find his father? Dead for almost a year? Kathryn has little to zero hopes that he’s pulling a Jesus, and the worst part is they don’t have any way of helping him right about now . Of course, the second they get to the OBX, that’s a whole different matter.
Something that doesn’t seem to soothe the couple.
“So this is what we’re doing, huh? We’re just sailing out,” JJ starts, pacing. “We’re just gonna forget about John B.”Kathryn, sitting, knee bouncing, shakes her head. “We can’t just abandon him like this.” Then, she springs to her feet, despite knowing full well that they can’t, that they shouldn’t, and that John B wouldn’t want to: “We’re going back.”“ No! ” Cleo screams out, stopping the pair dead in their tracks. “We’re all gonna get caught. I get that from JJ, but really, Kat, what type of plan is that?”“It’s a plan to stick together, Cleo,” JJ fires right back at her.“Then we are dead together.”Kathryn scoffs, holding her hands up. “Fine by me.”It’s not. If she was the only one, well. But not if all of her friends are. Of course, Cleo knows that, which is why she simply clicks her tongue at her.“She’s right,” Kie adds. “We had to leave, or we’d all be zip-tied in the back of a pickup.”“Well, he didn’t zip-tie me.”“ Not helping. Look, we did the right thing.”Kathryn shakes her head. “I don’t buy that. We did the easy thing.”JJ is about to add something equally as stupid and painful and frustrating, when something buzzes in Kathryn’s expensive stolen pyjamas. She blinks, not exactly used to having a phone anymore, and pulls it out.“Who’s that?” JJ asks, trying to read above her shoulder.She stares at the caller ID. “...Portis?”“ Portis? That’s John B. That’s definitely John B.”He tries to take the phone from her hands, but she swats him away and picks up the call, forgetting entirely to put John B on speaker from the rush of having confirmation that he’s fine , or at least, alive.
The swell of hope bottoms out from the force of her anger she can’t reign in. “You absolute dickhead– ”“Okay, nope.” JJ immediately takes the phone from her. “Yo! Dude? Is this you?”“ Speaker ,” Kie urges.“Yes that was Kat– Do you need us to turn around?” JJ puts the phone on speaker, frowning. “Yo, say it again. Say it again.”“I said don’t worry about me, okay?” His voice comes out warbly from the low service. Kathryn heaves out a sigh, feeling reassured for the first time in hours. “Look… hot… OBX.” Well, that didn’t last long.She stares at the phone. “Look hot in OBX?”“Let me talk to him,” Sarah asks, JJ immediately taking the wheel while his girlfriend and his best friend’s girlfriend walk two literal steps away. “John B, are you okay?”“Yes!... fine… good.”“He’s fine . Thank God. What happened? ”“I… ound… ad. …ive.”Kathryn can’t help a groan of frustration. “Bee, we can’t hear a single thing you’re saying!”“Kat? …ad …ve too. Kat?”“I can’t hear you! ”“Ge… tta here. …you …ildare. …kay?”“Kildare, when?” Sarah repeats.
The line cuts off before he can respond. Kathryn blows out a breath. They don’t have a lot to go on with how garbled his voice was. But at least, he’s alive, and meeting them in Kildare, which sounds a whole lot less bleak than what they had a few moments ago.“Anyone glean anything from that?” Kathryn lets out, sitting heavily on the cushions of the upstairs cabin. “‘Cause all I got was to look hot in OBX when he comes back.”Cleo frowns to herself. “You guys think he found his father?”“He’s been missing for almost a year,” Pope reminds her.“Not missing, Ward killed him,” Kathryn corrects. “Like, Peterkin told John B what happened. He’s concocting big time .”“So what do we do?” Kie asks. “Should we go back?”She hesitates. She was so sure that they’d made a mistake before, but John B had found time to call, told them he was alright, and that they’d meet up. There’s always this nagging fear eating away at her, since he disappeared, that he’ll be taken from her for good this time.But if she was in his place and thought her dad was alive by some miracle, would she want him to come back for her? Of course, it would help if every fibre of her being wasn’t telling her that something awful was about to happen.
“Kat, we’re sitting ducks,” JJ urges softly. “So we need to make a decision, are we turning back around, or are we gonna keep going?”Her teeth sink into her lower lip, looking up at her boyfriend, who trusts her completely to make the right choice. Kathryn doesn’t.“Sarah?”Sarah turns to her, blinking. She swallows thickly, as if against the words she’s about to say. “He said go,” she reminds them.JJ’s grip on the wheel falters. “Hold on, listen–”“ Go .”“Sarah.”“Go!”Without much choice, he nods once, clenches his jaw, and drives them away from John B.

🍓
They take turns to drive the boat back home. They stop on the coast of god (or Cleo) knows where, get some food that her and Pope definitely stole. Seeing as they decided to go oldest to youngest, Kathryn is the one at the wheel for the last lap. It’s night, and the stars are shining on the sea.JJ is here to keep her company. And make sure she doesn’t veer off course.“So you sure you didn’t tell him where the diary is?”As an overthinker of things Kathryn isn’t, it makes her sigh. “It sounds like you’re doubting me, Jay? No , I didn’t. I said I knew where it was.”He sits down next to her, still standing and driving. “Doesn’t enchant me that he now thinks you can lead him to it, but I’ll take it. Why does he want it so bad anyway?”She shrugs. “I told you. Delusion. He thinks the Merchant’s gold came from El Dorado .” JJ purses his lips, holds up his finger. Kathryn side-eyes him. “...Yes?”“Okay, so the diary we have leads to a five hundred year old treasure that no one’s ever found?”“Yeah, ‘cause it doesn’t exist. El Dorado? It’s just a story Gaspar de Carvajal made up. It’d be like looking for Olympus at the top of the mountain. Useless and probably dangerous.”“I’m in.”She snorts, nudging his face with her hip. “Of course you are.”“It’s kind of like my best option at this point, so… Definitely beats sitting in geometry class,” he adds, waiting for her to contradict him.She obliges. “Eh? You’d rather die than study triangles?”“I think the triangles are out to get me.” He stands up again, occupying his hands with the console, guiding Kathryn so she stays on track. “I mean, I don’t even know what’ll happen when we get back to the OBX.” He rakes a hand through his hair. “Nothing good. I can tell you that. Nothing good .”Kathryn looks over at him, sympathy wrapped prettily around her face. She thinks on it, a hand on the wheel, the other picking at the skin on her thumb nail. What’s Henry going to say? He might cry. She might die, seeing it. She can’t remember the last time she’s seen him cry.
Worse, what if he doesn’t want her back? He’s housed her, fed her, cared for her, and she… Well, if she was to make a list of all the things she did wrong, they’d be here all night. Anxiety rises in her chest, spreads through her veins.
But mostly, Kathryn doesn’t have time to focus on her own feelings, not when her boyfriend sounds so desperate. Not when she knows exactly what he fears. Not that nothing good will happen. But nothing happens.
She sweeps a strand of blonde hair away from her very favourite shade of blue. “What’s going to happen is… I’ll bring you home with me, if you want to. Henry’ll be pissy, but he loves you.”JJ blushes slightly at her not so subtle offer of moving into the Palace. He isn’t sure to be into the idea of accepting help from anyone, because when was he ever? But if it comes from Kathryn, he finds it weighs less on his shoulders.
“I dunno,” he says, closing the distance between them, making her smirk. “I might miss sneaking in.”She makes a face, tilting it back and forth, her hair tickling his cheeks. “It did end up in my studio being broken in.”“Uh, well…” He thinks on it, for a second. “I have nothing. Can I still kiss you?”Her smirk broadens. “You may.”The kiss is sweet, at first. JJ is always tentative about Kathryn’s boundaries, never sure what is too much and what isn’t enough. Clearly, something isn’t enough.
Desperation clings to her every move as she brings his face closer to hers, tongue tracing the shape of his lower lip, hand firm at the base of his neck as his grab handfuls of her hips, chasing after her until her other hand has to let go of the wheel and hold onto his bicep for support, legs reduced to near jelly. Her lower back hits the metal.He parts from her for half a second. “We’re definitely not on the right course now.”She looks up at him, hooded-eyes, lips bruising. JJ isn’t sure what he was thinking about, just then.
He dips down to kiss her again, shifting them so she rests against the console, JJ bracing a hand near her hip to keep them balanced, his other arm wrapped tightly around her waist.Kathryn gasps a little for breath. “You have to stop kissing me or we’ll never make it home.”“ I’m trying .”Butterflies erupt in her stomach and a deep crimson blush dusts her cheek, which really doesn’t help. When he goes in to kiss her again, she leans away, playful. His eyes narrow, as if to say, fine .
Next thing Kathryn knows, JJ props her up on the console, and dives for her neck, hands holding her hips firmly. She can’t help the moan that escapes her lips when he starts peppering her neck with kisses, when his teeth graze the side of her neck. Heat spreads through her entire body, goosebumps rising under the flimsy satin pyjamas.
Her heartbeat grows erratic, but she blinks, and suddenly, everything turns nauseous. JJ’s hands are scalding her, everything is too much, and she feels faint, short of breath.“JJ.”JJ nearly jumps off of her. Kathryn immediately shakes her head, the lack of him now too cold. She reaches for his shoulders and tugs him back between her legs, just to hold him there, fingers playing with his hair. His hands rest prudently on the console.She offers a lopsided smile, and a frown. “Sorry.”“Don’t be sorry,” he says, a well-rehearsed dialogue they’ve had before.“Well, you don’t have to tell me that twice.”He’s well aware of that. Kathryn would never beg for anything, not even forgiveness. Thoughts he shouldn’t be having right this moment suddenly plague him.JJ rubs the spot between her eyebrows, making her grin. “Why do you do that?”“It makes you smile,” he tells her. “And I hate to tell you, but you’re damn gorgeous when you smile.”She rolls her lips in her mouth, blushing again, and frowning just to spite him. It makes him laugh. “I wish I had my glasses,” she says. “You have a very pretty face, but I can’t really see it now.”
It’s his turn to blush, clearing his throat. Kathryn’s glasses are victims of the third week on the island, when someone tried to use them to start a fire, left them on the sand, and then sat on them.“Wait, what do I look like to you right now?” he asks.She bites the inside of her cheek. “Uh… like a blurry idiot whose arse destroyed my glasses?”He makes a face at her. “Ah, ah.”“You liiiike me.” Kathryn looks back at the wheel, hopping off the console. “So about the course…?”“Oh we’re way off. Opposite direction really.”“Neat.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn stares at her front door. The Pogues arrived back home at the break of dawn, and split to get back to their respective houses. Some were happier than others, namely Kie, who flat out refused to have any of her friends with her when she’d walk inside her house. Pope and Cleo were thick as thieves, after the former told her she could stay with him. Very strange that when Kathryn proposed the very same thing, Cleo said no… Sarah went to the Château, either to greet John B, or to wait for him there.

Kathryn and JJ have been staring at the Palace’s door for at least five minutes now. Her throat is dry, her stomach in a knot. Her heart is trapped in her ribcage and fights against it to break free. She thinks about all the things she’s put her uncles through. Sneaking out, shoving herself in front of danger, getting kidnapped, disappearing for nearly two months, throwing her dad’s accident at Henry’s face every time he’d so much as mention him, because she was angry. And now that she had vowed to be soft, she found that being mean had always been the easy way out. Henry, she thinks, had held her even when she was burning. Then, she abandoned him… Voluntarily or not, it made no difference.

Henry might very well hate her. And she might forgive him for it, too.

JJ scratches his temple, nervous too. On her behalf, and also because he isn’t quite sure how Henry will react to him being here. He could be mad at him. He could pin Kathryn’s disappearance on him. JJ isn’t an idiot, he knows the kind of reputation he has. Any good parent would probably hold him responsible for their own child’s misbehaviour. It doesn’t help that Henry knows exactly who his dad is.

He eyes Kathryn. “Henry doesn’t hate you.”

She rings the doorbell. “Yet.”

They wait in silence for a few seconds, Kathryn starting to feel sick to her stomach at the thought of her last remaining family hating her, which she was now convinced of. She was always good at telling herself that people disliked her.

She sees through the reflection someone tall, coming to answer the door. She braces herself. The door opens.

Henry looks down at Kathryn.

Nothing happens for a few seconds, the two Darcys staring at each other, JJ standing to the side in apprehension.

Then tears welled up in Henry’s eyes. His hands reach for her, then move to his mouth, in shock, then back to her. Kathryn fears for a second that he’s too full of anger to hold her.

“I’m s–”

“Oh– oh my god.

Max!

Oh, my girl.”

Kathryn doesn’t realise she’s crying until she’s sobbing in Henry’s arms, her uncle falling to his knees, doubling over from the weight of his relief. “I’m

sorry

.”

Henry holds her face softly in his hands, marvelling at the sight of her, “I thought I’d never see you again. My girl.” A sob wrecks his entire body. “My baby girl.”

“I’m so sorry,” she repeats, crying against his shoulder.

He rubs her back, but she can feel the shake of his hands. Every brush takes away her insecurities until she finds herself a little idiotic.

Over his shoulder, Kathryn sees Max and Billy rushing in. He gasps, holding a hand to his mouth when he sees her, before diving for her and his fiancé.

“Kitty?” Billy blurts out, before bursting into tears and joining them.

“I’m so sorry,” Kathryn keeps repeating to anyone who wants to hear.

Max pushes wet hair strands out of her face, from where they stuck to her cheeks. “It’s okay now. It’s okay, you’re here.”

Kathryn heaves out a sob, looking at Henry’s face, bathed with tears. “Please don’t hate me,” she cries.

Henry wipes her wet cheeks like he did when she fell down the streets. “I

love

you,” he promises. “But never do that to me again.”

She had thought that letting Henry grieve her like a daughter would have prevented him from holding her like she was his. Kathryn didn’t mind being wrong about this one.

He stands up, helping her in the same movement, keeping his daughter close to him. At least for a moment. At least until he can convince himself that

he

is her dad. No one else.

Billy shakes her head, hands on her friend’s shoulders, squeezing tightly, tears streaking her face. “I should’ve helped,” she tells Kathryn.

“I wouldn’t have let you,” she answers.

Max has tears in his blue eyes when he looks at his niece, pats her hair, fixes her clothes. He sniffs, chin still wobbly. His hand settled on the top of her head. “We missed you. So much, kiddo.”

Henry turns to JJ, still at the entrance. The teenager isn’t sure how to behave under his eyes, half-expecting Henry to tell him to get the hell out of here. He would have every right to. Next thing he knows, the older man has tugged him into a bone crushing hug, and JJ feels like crying too.

“Thank you for bringing her back.”

JJ blinks the tears away. “‘Course, mister H.”

Henry only lets go of the boy to hug his niece again.

Niece

, he tells himself. If he could spare her what’s about to happen, he would. He just got her back. She’s still crying, but she isn’t sobbing anymore. It felt good to belong again. Henry isn’t sure who is holding who.

To have her every sins forgiven by a father.

So much so, that she misses when Max’s face turns grim. “Henry. Baby, he’ll want to see her.”

Henry can’t let go, not yet. “I know. Just give me a minute to hold her.”

JJ sends Billy a questioning look. Billy looks troubled. Her every emotion is always readable on her face, but he can’t quite place this one, and he thinks that may be worse, coming from a Donovan. She looks down, wringing her hands.

Oh, what the hell…

Henry lets go. His face is stricken, like he knows how this is all going to end, but can’t escape it. He knows the steps, he’s practised them when she was a child. He walks away, while Max closes the front door.

Kathryn doesn’t know what’s going to happen yet. She just floats on a cloud, turns back to JJ, who hugs her, because he can’t help it, when she’s crying from relief now. He rubs her back.

“You okay?”

She nods, smiling despite her wet face. “Better now.”

She parts from him, but he keeps an arm around her shoulder. She may be oblivious, overjoyed that her uncles don’t hate her, that they love her, and were waiting for her to come back. But JJ isn’t. And he wants to keep her close, for whatever happens next.

Billy walks to her, patting her arm, reassuringly. “Kitty…”

“It’s been crazy,” Kathryn says at the same time, words suddenly spilling out now that she knew they’ll still want her around. “All of it. We were on a deserted island, and then we were kidnapped, and then

I

was kidnapped and–”

“We know,” Max stops her.

Now, that finally got her attention. She wipes the remnants of her tears. A sort of weight settles in her stomach. There aren't a lot of people who could have warned them, and if it wasn’t the Pogues…

“What?”

From further down the hall, Henry reappears. “We caught wind yesterday. About Singh. A little

birdie

told us, didn’t he?”

JJ blinks. “Who the fu–”

Henry tugs someone into the hallway. Harshly. “

Apologize

,” he orders the person. “Now. You apologize to her, and you do it well.”

It takes JJ an awfully long amount of time to realise who’s standing in front of them. The arm around Kathryn drops in surprise, shock. She stands there, still as stone. Her eyes stay on the person, she barely blinks, afraid that the vision – because it had to be a vision – would go away.

At some point, her eyes sting too much. She blinks.

Edward Darcy is still there.

“Hey, Kitten.”

Kathryn still doesn’t move. In her mind, the movie of her dad plays and plays again, memories upon memories she cherished and sacrificed to the fire, memories she tarnished and venerated both. Memories that would have stayed memories.

JJ finally composes himself. “Oh, that’s fucked up.”

She starts to hyperventilate under the weight of it all. Chest rising and falling too fast, JJ fussing over her, and her immediately shoving him back, because she fears the embers of a fire she had so neatly put out were being breathed back to life.

Kathryn stared her father down, barely a tear in her eyes. “Who is this?”

The room is silent. No one dares to say anything. No one dares to even move, apart from Henry, who keeps sending his brother, his dead, baby brother, standing there, warning looks.

Edward takes a step forward. “Kitten, I am so, so sorry,” he begs.

Kathryn steps back, holds up a hand to stop him. “No,” she says, then repeats it. “No, no, you can’t be there. Who are you?”

His face falls, crumbles under her words. Kathryn feels very little remorse. She can’t hurt a ghost.

“It’s me. It’s me, your father.”

“

No!

” she cries out, her hand still hanging between them. “No, because my father… my dad. My father died

five

years ago. So who are you because–”

Her hands fly up to her face, shielding herself from the impossible sight, a broken sob escaping her lips. She had been so happy a few moments ago. Now, she had never felt so betrayed, in a way she could barely articulate.

All anyone can do is stand there, watch as the girl unravels and refuses to be comforted. The room is eerily silent, safe from her cries. All at once, Kathryn is in Rafe’s room, Kathryn is in London, Kathryn is in the hospital, Kathryn is sitting at the docks every night waiting for her father who could not come back.

A father that

should

have come back.

“Is this a

joke?

” she screams, voice wavering, staring at her father. “Is this a

trick?

Why are you doing this to me?”

Edward’s eyes are welling up with tears, hands shaking from years of holding back from his daughter. Henry gestures for him. “Explain it to her. Go on.”

He braces himself. “I had to disappear, Kat. I couldn’t contact you, or Henry, or even Caroline, they would have traced it back to me. Your mom managed to send me information about you, but that’s all we could risk. I know. Everything.” Kathryn’s world starts spinning. “But I made some bad decisions in the name of research. I put it first, and that’s something I can’t absolve myself of. That man – Singh – he was after me. I said I’d help him in his stupid quest. If I’d stayed behind, he would’ve gone after you.”

“He

did

come after her,” JJ barks out.

“I know, some of my old contacts told me. That’s why we were all ready. We were going to come get you this morning. You beat us to it,” he admits softly, and his daughter scoffs. “Once I was back on OBX. When I learned that Singh was after you and your friends, I knew I had to come back.”

A few

days

ago? Edward Darcy had come back for her, years too late.

Too late

.

“

That’s

when?” Kathryn says. “Now? After years of waiting for you to come back. After years of hating myself, years of dealing with what

your

departure took from me. You left me with

mum

. And… and you even know how bad it was, god – I tried to kill myself! And you come back now,” she sobs, gesturing to herself wildly. “You come back now that the damage can’t be undone. Now that I’m

this.

How dare you?”

Kathryn thinks of dozens upon dozens of times her father could have told her in any way that he was alive, ways upon ways in which he could have saved her life. Of the version she would be, if he had never died. Easier to love, easier to be loved. Soft, and kind, and happy.

She feels sick that her father had left that little girl, and had come back to a grotesque caricature of her. Even if she wasn’t a monster anymore, she had been one. Her skin still smelled like ash, her body littered in scars, branded with hot iron.

She doesn’t realise that her father is standing in front of her until he reaches out to her shoulder. She looks up at him, trembling, crying. He’s aged. She never thought she’d see him age.

He’s crying, too. There is an ocean of pain in his eyes, that Kathryn can’t deny that she is his daughter – she is drowning in it too. “Leaving you behind, Kitten, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he tells her, voice wavering. “The worst thing. I’m sorry, but I understand if you can’t forgive me, because I don’t forgive myself. You were my baby girl” – his voice cracks – “and I let you down. But you have to believe me, Kat, when I say that this was for you. To keep you safe.”

She shakes her head. “I wasn’t safe. I don’t think I am, even now.” Not from herself, at least.

“I know. But I’m here now.”

Maybe if he had been back sooner this summer, before Kathryn had vowed to be kind, maybe she would have driven him away. Maybe she would have taken this blessing as a curse, a joke, a trick.

Now, she was tired, and her father was alive.

Kathryn hugs her father like her life depends on it, and for a moment, it does. A piece of her seems finally put to rest as her dad hugs her, a piece she hadn’t seen in a long time. She feels his tears on her shoulder, holding on to any little detail. Her father was back. After five years, he was back from the dead.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes out, again. “Please don’t hate me.”

She shakes her head against him. Kathryn had never been forgiving. She would keep tabs of every wrong anyone has ever done to her. But that was her dad. Her dad, who had done all of this to protect her. Her dad, who would tell her stories of the Royal Merchant, pirates, Denmark Tanny.

“I missed you too much,” she answers when he sets her down, sniffling. “Sorry I got so angry.”

His father smiles at her, like he used to when he picked her up from school. “Not at all. You wouldn’t be a Darcy if you didn’t. Just ask Henry.” Henry scoffs loudly.

Kathryn can’t help but smile. Her father’s daughter. Her anger was his, not her mother’s. If it was, maybe that meant it wasn’t such a vile thing, as she thought. She liked the thought of having something to share with her father, who kept smiling at her. Her favourite person in the whole wide world, when she was a kid.

Which leads her to take JJ’s hand, when she steps back. JJ squeezes her palm, unsure if he should say anything, the moment feeling so much bigger than him.

Edward follows the movement. “JJ, right?”

Kathryn shares a look with her boyfriend. Should she be doing this now? No. She should be sleeping, she’s barely standing, she’s cried more now than she has in forever, and she smells, even if she’s taken a shower more recently than the others, but she’s too afraid that her dad will disappear when she wakes up.

JJ seems nervous under Darcy’s inspection. He doesn’t remember much of the man, mainly what Kathryn had told him after his death. He was always pretty reserved. But he was an institution in Kildare, and his girlfriend’s dad. That was enough to make him uneasy.

“Of course I remember you.” Edward smiles warmly. “Thank you for watching over her, kid.”

He’s shocked for a moment, at how similar his voice and eyes look like Henry’s, but so different at the same time. He’s not sure how, but it just is. “Uh… my pleasure, sir.”

Max clears his throat, joining his fiancé’s side. Henry looks cryptic. Kathryn is too blinded by her dad’s return to notice it, which might be worse for him. Maybe he’d started to close in on herself when his kid hugged her dad, and it wasn’t him.

“We should all get some rest,” Max says, ever the voice of reason. “I don’t know how you kids feel, but you look worse for wear.”

“Like you could use a bed,” Billy adds, trying to make light of the conversation, helping her older brother.

JJ laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, I’d love a bed.”

Henry raises a finger. “As long as it’s not Kat’s–”

“Hen.” He looks over at his younger brother, eyebrows raised. “They’ve been living together for two months. It’s a bit silly, at this point.”

He clamps his jaw shut, but sends the teenage boy a warning glance. Kathryn can’t help the sudden fear that seizes her, when JJ tugs her hand and they walk silently to the stairs. She stops him, and turns to her father, hugging him again.

“Please don’t be gone when I wake up.”

Edward smiles, hugging his daughter tighter. “Never again, Kitten. I promise.” Henry looks away.

Deep down, Kathryn realises that the worst thing she could have ever done was when she stopped waiting. But it didn’t matter anymore, and Edward Darcy hugged her like she was twelve again. So maybe, everything was right. Maybe her sins had indeed been forgiven, by a father. Just not by an uncle.

At least, everything was right.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn wakes up half-expecting everything to be a dream. A good one, but a dream all the same. She opens her eyes, and her face is on her yellow pillow, she’s lying in bed, and the sun is up in the sky. Her room hasn’t been touched. Cleaned, yes. Like they were just waiting for her to come back. And she is, back.JJ apparently left before she woke up, and she gathers that he really did miss sneaking in and out of her room. She doesn’t mind, just figures that he has things he wants to check out on the island, too. Kathryn had everything she needed at the Palace, for now. That includes a text telling her that Big John is alive, but you know what? She’s surprisingly not, well, surprised . At this point, if Edward can come back, so can Big John.
She comes down the stairs with a grin, already dressed and showered. She’s wearing a copper red blouse opened and tucked in one of her jean skirts, her old pair of Mary Janes that she shares with Billy on.
And when she walks in the kitchen, she gets to smile at Edward. “Hi dad.”Henry perks up, only to watch as his brother smiles back at his daughter. “Hey, Kitten. Sleep well?”She nods, happier than ever. In fact, even with JJ, Henry isn’t sure he’s seen her this happy. There was that time she came asking for the keys to his truck. Which she then crashed. But oh, well. She’s back, so he’s not sure he can complain.“Yeah,” she answers her dad, sitting down in front of Billy. “Anyone seen JJ this morning?”Max, who’s an even earlier bird than Kathryn, nods as he comes to the table with pancakes. “He told me he’d go home, for a bit.” He sits down. “Which I thought was weird, but I didn’t feel like the right person to tell him.”She frowns to herself. Sure, it was a bit weird, like Max put it, that JJ would go back to his own home and not the Château, but he’s always had that urge to make this house his, as if it would undo everything his father did, and Kathryn wasn’t going to judge him for it.She would, however, hold him through it.
“Can I get some to go?” she asks them, but mostly her dad, gesturing to the pancakes. “I’m just going to check if he’s okay.”“No problem,” Edward says. “Have fun, Kitten.”Billy hums, her mouth full. “Nice shoes, by the way. Tell him I said hi!”“You’re not taking my truck!”Kathryn gives Henry a thumbs up, and leaves, taking her own car.The drive to JJ’s house was never all that long. Kathryn is just excited to see her boyfriend, show him how she looks in her own clothes, and not the ones chosen by a weirdo. She keeps reminding herself that JJ probably won’t share her own happy mood if he’s at his house, but she’s sure she can cheer him up. That’s what a good girlfriend does, after all.He’s outside when she parks, working on his bike. She skips over to him, his back turned to her. She spares a glance to the house… notices the yellow tape that’s been ripped off, and the sign on the door.“Jay, is that…?”“Eviction notice,” he answers her. “For, like, nonpayment or whatever.”Kathryn frowns, clearly crashing down from her cloud. “You literally were stranded . I’m sure we can find some legal loophole in this. I’ll ask Billy. Oh, she says hi, by the way.”He turns away from his bike, back to the wooden table he set up, where his tools are, looking now. “Yeah. But no. Doesn’t matter,” he says, sighing. “This place sucks anyway. Great to be back in the Outer Banks, right?”She blinks at his behaviour, not really expecting him to be so bitter. Not after their talk on the boat. Luckily, she knows just the thing to bring his mood up.
She watches as he goes back to his bike, clearing her throat. “Well, um, there are some perks. Like I’m starting to think death is a social construct, because Big John’s back too. And John Bastard’s fine too, even if he did run away from us.”Not even the ghost of a smile on his face. “Damn,” is all he says, as he straightens back up. Okay . Okay, well, she can still try something else. “Apparently Big John has something on El Dorado , so I may have been a tiny bit wrong when I said it didn’t exist.” Nothing. He doesn’t even look up. “I might have to tell my dad about it, he could help a ton, considering–”“I think we should take a break.”Kathryn snorts. “You? You want a break from the gold hunt? I mean, I’d get that coming from me because I’m a bit tired of getting kidnapped every other day, but…”“No. Us. I meant a… I think we should break up.”She stares at him. Like, a proper stare, unable to form a coherent thought. Her mouth agape, she keeps her eyes on the blonde who just won’t lift his. She inhales sharply. She heard it wrong. Or it’s a joke. It’s got to be one, that’s the only explanation.
Her laugh comes out shaky. “You’ve made some bad jokes, but this one really sucks.”It’s like she’s giving a way out. Surely. Surely , JJ isn’t breaking up with her. He just woke up feeling weird. And then he saw the eviction notice. And now he’s… he’s panicking. That’s all. He’s joking. He does that. This is a joke.But then JJ starts apologising. And Kathryn feels like the earth is opening underneath her feet and she’s being swallowed down until her body hits lava and she knows pain like she never has before.
“I’m sorry,” he says, still refusing to meet her eyes.
Kathryn does her best to keep down any tear, any wavering of her voice, any shake of her chin. If this is… if this is what she thinks it is, then she doesn’t want him to see her cry.
“I don’t understand.” Her mouth is still agape, in shock. “Please tell me this is a joke. Please , just tell me it’s a joke.”He shakes his head, pacing. “I’m sorry.”
This enrages her. He keeps repeating it, but it makes no sense, because he’s not breaking up with her. Is he? Well, if he is;“JJ Maybank if you’re going to fucking break up with me, look at me! ”JJ stops. Turns to her. His own eyes are red with unshed tears, but Kathryn is doing a masterful job at hiding her feelings. She always was quite the actress. This performance, she could have done without.“Are you?” she asks. “Are you breaking up with me?”The corner of his mouth inches down, trembles like he’s trying to keep the words in. “I’m sorry.”Kathryn can’t help her audible wince, hand flying to her head, running down her face, before it settles on her mouth and she lets out another shaky laugh. She does her best not to break apart, because this doesn’t make sense, and she’s scared that nothing will ever again.
He is. He is breaking up with her. This is a break up scene, a break up speech. It doesn’t make any sense. They were fine, they were–“ Why? ” she demands. “What did I do?”His face falls, tears are becoming evident. “Nothing, Kat. It’s not you.”“So it’s you? ” she grounds out, jaw clenched, shaking all over. “You’re breaking up with me , but you’re the problem? Woah. I figured at least we’d be honest with each other.”He shakes his head, starts pacing again, which drives her mad. He acts like he’s the one grappling with the fact that they’re breaking up , when he’s the one who initiated it. And she’s the one who has to live through it, who has to listen to the words, who has to eat the poison he force feeds her.
“I mean, it would have all blown up anyway,” he says, panting, like he’s trying to breathe around the lump in his throat. “You know? Like… Look at you . One of your shoes could pay me back my house. Look at me . What do I got? This? ” He turns back, embraces his house with an arm. “This piece of shit? ” He throws a discarded can through the window. “Getting kicked out of that place in three months anyway. Shit, I don’t even got parents right now.”Is this it? Is this what this is about, again? About his fear that she’ll leave him, because he doesn’t know that he’s everything to her? It can’t be. No, because they’d been over this, and it didn’t make sense already.
Kathryn’s lips curl upwards, crossing her arms. “I don’t get it,” she admits, curtly. “We’ve been over this. The only thing I care about is you , not what you can get me, JJ.”He shakes his head, gestures at her. “ Why would you care?”She blinks at him. What’s his aim? Is he trying to make her angry? To make this easier? Because she won’t give him that. No, she won’t go the way he wants her to. He wants her to fight him.Kathryn is fighting. Just not against him.“Excuse me?”“ Why would you care?” he goes on, the words coming out through ragged breaths. “Like, I’m just… I’m just some loser that–”“Are you kidding me?” she eructs, not even comprehending his point, but as calm as she can be, given the situation.
Kathryn stares at him again. His head is ducked, he’s looking away, ashamed. She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand how JJ could think so low of himself, because he hanged the moon for her, and some stars, too. She doesn’t comprehend how this could be his excuse, that the way he is, what he has, would be reason for a break up, because to Kathryn, JJ had always been the sun. Nothing less.Maybe if she can make him realise that he’s the only thing her world revolves around, he’ll stay.She licks her lips, keeps the tears at bay. “The only thing that made me feel better when I got so low , was knowing you,” she tells him. “So I don’t… I don’t understand.”JJ visibly winces, his face scrunching up in pain for half a second, as if the thought made him sick to his stomach. “No, no, ‘course you don’t, you got parents that live in Figure Eight, you know?” She gapes, so much so that she thinks she hears her jaw unhinge. “ That’s your future. You got that.”JJ turns around and walks away, raking hands through his hair. Kathryn stares at the back of his head, allowing herself to break for a split second, to stop pretending that she’s fine, when he can’t see. Kathryn had cried just for him, before. Just for his eyes. He’d seen her as a shell of herself, and she had let him.And now, Kathryn only let a tear slip when his back was turned.
“Nah,” she breathes out, and hates the way the syllable shakes. “No, my future was supposed to be you.” She scoffs to herself, because he still won’t look at her. “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. I thought we’d settled this. You… You were supposed to stay with me, at the Palace, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t–”He whirls around, suddenly angry, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “See, it’s that right there, okay? Like–” He struggles for a second. “It’s so easy for you to say that. You know why?”She does. She does, but she wants to believe that he won’t say it. Which is maybe why she looks him dead in the eye, tilts her head, crosses her arms again. She doesn’t want him to say it, because if he does, she knows she’ll break. But if JJ is breaking up with, then maybe she deserves to explode in tiny little pieces.“No, JJ. I don’t know. Why is it so easy for me?”JJ hesitates, for a moment, she can see it. She can see everything, in his thought process. Every emotion, because she knows him so well. And he does her, so he knows that this will break her last shred of self-control.
It’s an intimate thing, being broken down by a person who knows you so well.“Because you’re a Kook. You’re a Kook , Kat!”Funnily enough, she’s heard those words in the last few days. Rafe told her she was a Kook. It was the reason he liked her. Same reason why JJ was breaking up with her, now.
That may be what sends her heart ablaze the second the words are out.
That may be why Kathryn starts crying in front of him. Because she can’t keep the tears in, anymore. Because she had watched the blurry world crumble down before her eyes, and she couldn’t hold herself back anymore.
“Well I’m sorry , JJ. I’m sorry about who I am. Is that what you want to hear?”JJ puts a hand on his eyes, as if to subtract himself from the view of Kathryn crying. “No, no it’s not.”“Then why are you doing this? I thought that just because we were different, we could make this work, and I thought you agreed with me. You let me believe that we would make this work. All that, just to break up with me? Please, make it make sense , who would do something like that?” she sobs out. “We were fine. We were… I thought we were fine.”“I’m sorry.”“Don’t be fucking sorry, just tell me what to do!” She sniffles, wipes her tears hurriedly, takes off a shoe. “You want to pay your house back, have my fucking shoes.” She chucks the pairs at his face. One hits his shoulder, the other flies next to his cheek. “Fucking take them then! Take everything from me, I don’t give a shit. I never gave a shit. Take it all, take my life, I don’t care, it’s yours anyway.”Kathryn can’t say that she’s never begged for anything before. She has. She begged for JJ to come get her, when Rafe kidnapped her. But JJ had never seen her.Until she stands in front of him, holding her heart back like it’s clawing its way out of her chest, tears streaking down her cheeks.“Just please . Please, I’m begging you, don’t do this to me,” she says, voice broken as she is. “I know I’m not perfect. I know that, but I’m trying , and I thought it was enough.”JJ is crying, too. Of all the mistakes he’s ever made, this is the hardest. This is the worst. This is the one he’ll never come back from.“Kat, there’s nothing to be done.”She shakes her head. “No, there is. There is, because I don’t accept this. I refuse. Don’t leave me. Please .”When he doesn’t answer, she sobs aloud, turns away, because she can’t bear the sight of him if they’re not together. Surely, this is her fault. In some way. She did something, it’s not just because she’s a Kook. JJ can’t just break up with her without her having something to do with it. She starts grappling at straws, anything. Starts pulling at his exposed nerves without knowing it.
“If this is… if this is about me not being ready to… I can try , I can–”“ No , Kat, I’m serious,” he pleads, even stepping forward, lucid in his agony. “This has nothing to do with that. Don’t think that. Please.”She inhales sharply. “Okay, well, if this is some twisted shit to get back at me for making you wait, fine , I'll wait! ”“It’s not a trick, please, you have to understand,” he presses, punctuating every word with a flail of his arm. “There’s nothing to wait for.”Kathryn raises her chin, despite her begging. “If there’s even a scrap of you at the end of this, I’ll be goddamn waiting if I want to.”JJ takes in a shaky breath, and has to look away. He can’t watch this. He can barely do it, let alone see the impact it has on her. This isn’t what he wanted. But even then, he has to convince himself that it’s for the better. That she’ll thank him, some day, even.
“JJ, look at me.”
He does. He hates himself even more. He knew he shouldn’t have listened. The sight of Kathryn crying had always been his own personal hell, and now, he would live in it forever. The words she speaks, then, would haunt him.“I love you. I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you after you’ve broken to the very last bit of my heart. Do not do this, please.”It’s hard. Kathryn never lets go of anything easily. But no matter the claw marks left on him, she does have to let go . So he looks at her, despite the tears down his cheeks. This is all for her, because they were all right. He doesn’t deserve her, he never did, he never will. This was always going to happen.
He has to tell himself this, or he’ll break completely.
“I’m sorry.”
Kathryn’s breathing becomes erratic, sobbing until she’s sure to pass out, shaking all over, knees hitting the floor before she can even register that JJ has mortally wounded her, that the arrow has gone through her heart, in one swift, artistic, fatal blow.
He rushes over to her, but Kathryn has never heard of a killer who would hold his victim through death.“KD–”With all the might left in her, she gets up, keeps an arm’s length distance between them. “Don’t you dare! You don’t get to call me that.” She licks her lips, nods once. “I’m done . I won’t beg anymore. You got what you wanted, JJ. The Kook queen, on her knees, for you. Congrats. Hope the chase was fun. Hope it was worth this .”His teeth sink into his lower lip, until he’s sure to draw blood, and he steps back. Kathryn walks away, wiping her tears. She feels humiliated, ashamed, heart-broken all at once, walking away from the one thing she thought would be consistent in her life. The one good thing she never had. She never thought she had taken a bet on a losing dog. But that was so very her, wasn’t it?Even when she loved someone, she had to let it kill her.And JJ can’t help it. He can’t help the words in his mouth, or his need for her to know, to understand. It was always his fatal flaw. He needed her to see the most gruesome parts of him. The unlovable parts. Because every last shred of himself meant the next words.“For what it’s worth, I love you, too.”Kathryn looks over her shoulder. Tear-streaked face, red cheeks, downturned lips. She looks every bit the Kook queen he accused her of being.
“Well, it wasn’t worth much, was it?”
🍓
Billy is standing outside Kathryn’s door. Next to her, Sarah, Kie, and Cleo are about as clueless as she is. Which doesn’t bode well.
The Donovan texted John B, as soon as Kathryn came home. But he said he was with his dad, so he texted Sarah, who texted Kie, who texted Pope, who told Cleo to go because his father wouldn’t let him out.
“She just came home, and locked herself in her studio?” Sarah asks, worried.Billy nods. “She didn’t even say anything.”“And you didn’t even try?” Kie accuses, arching a brow.“We did! Henry tried feeding her. Darcy himself can’t get in, so…”“So it’s bad,” Cleo concludes. “Let me try.” She knocks on the door. “Kat? Kat, it’s us, open up.” No answer. “Okay. Well, let me try picking the lock then.”“ What? ” Kie whispers hurriedly at her.
“We know Kat,” Sarah rationalises. “If she doesn’t answer, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need us.”Billy nods. “I’m for picking the lock.”Cleo barely has the time to put a knee on the ground when Kathryn opens the door. Her eyes are red, puffy, but she isn’t crying. Her face looks like stone, really. Not a trace of emotion. Not even when she looks down at her friend.
“Hello?”Sarah tries a smile. “Hi. We were worried.”“So you were going to pick my lock? I’ve had my share of breaking and entering, thanks.”Cleo stares down. “What happened to your feet?”“I walked barefoot. What do you want?”Billy blinks. She was used to Kathryn snapping at her. Was . She’d changed. She had grown – at least Billy thought so. “You just… slammed the door and disappeared up there.”“And you thought, oh, let’s annoy Kitty a bit more, that’s always fun.”“No, we–”“ Dude ,” Kie lets out, frowning. She forces the door open further, stepping in despite Kathryn’s groan. “What the hell is up…”Her voice dies out in her throat. The studio is… a mess. She thought JJ had fixed it up for her. In fact, she’s sure he did, because Kathryn had told them about it a billion times, and how cute it had been. Either someone broke in again or…Or Kathryn did all of this herself.There’s a broken canva, to the side. Billy knows it. She recognises the piece of blonde hair that’s discarded, near her feet when she steps in. That doesn’t make sense. That picture was Kathryn’s whole heart, really.Well, it wasn’t whole anymore.
“What the hell happened, Kat?” Sarah asks, closing the door behind her.Kathryn sits down on the couch. Her friends join her, either sitting next to her, or kneeling at her feet, surrounding her. They wait, as Kathryn fights herself not to cry any more. As a few tears still manage to slip past.
Despite her shortcomings when they showed up, Kathryn still vowed to be a good friend.
“I don’t… I don’t want this to change anything between all of us. I don’t want you to hold it against him, he has… He has his reasons, I guess.”“Against who?” Cleo asks. “Who did what to you?”“I’ll key his car,” Kie adds, very serious.“Slash only three tires,” Billy says. “That way the insurance doesn’t cover it.”“Or just break the whole thing,” Sarah counters.Kathryn takes a deep breath. She still cries when she answers. When she speaks it into existence, like a vile secret that should have been locked away forever. Something that never should have happened in the first place…“JJ broke up with me.”… Nothing changed the fact that it still happened.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Kathryn stops crying, she never starts again. Her face takes on that same stone mask it did before she opened the door, and it never leaves. No one says anything, because they know that it’s just the way it goes. Kathryn will shove what happened deep down until she explodes again. But they had time until then.Billy flops on the armchair in front of the sofa, once they’re done cleaning up the studio. “Am I really the only one thinking that JJ’s weird? ”Cleo smacks her lips. “For breaking up with Kat? No, you’re not.”“No, for the reasons why . I mean…” She sighs, shakes her head. “I just never pictured you guys breaking up.”“JJ goes haywire sometimes,” Kie says, sitting on the couch, next to Sarah. “I genuinely think a brain cell kind of bursts up there. He’ll come round.”“Don’t think so,” Kathryn says, joining her. Her voice is flat. “He wasn’t… erratic. He just kept on saying he was sorry, that we were different, and that was it.” She swallows thickly. “Whatever. Can we drop the subject?”Sarah wrings her hands, leaning against the sofa. “Well um… I got something. I didn’t want to say because obviously it wasn’t the right time, but I went back home to grab clothes and my phone and you’re not gonna believe this… Rafe is back.”Kathryn inhales sharply, running a hand down her face. “Of course he is.”JJ breaks up with her, and now Rafe’s back on the island. That’s just her luck in a sentence.“Yeah. I saw him at the house. I don’t think he saw me, but I think the Cross is coming back. To Wilmington, tomorrow night.”“ What? ” Kie lets out.The Darcy rubs her forehead. “Yeah, figures, seeing as his deal with Singh fell through, he’ll probably try to sell it again.”There are a few minutes of silence.“Uh… How do you know that?” Billy asks.
It comes to Kathryn a little late, that she may have not spoken about Rafe being at Singh’s. “Well, to make a long story short, Singh tricked Rafe with his deal, locked me up with him, then he told me he loved me, then I told him to eat shit, then we got out, then he told me I was a Kook, then I told him to eat shit, and then I pushed him in the water to get his boat.”There’s silence again.“He told you what? ” Kie cries out.“Ha!” Cleo lets out. “Pushed him. Attagirl.”“Why didn’t you tell us?” Sarah asks.Kathryn just sighs again. “What, between getting kidnapped, John B running away, my dad coming back from the dead, my boyfriend breaking up with me? I was busy. Look, whatever , does Pope know that the Cross is coming back here?”The blonde hesitates before answering. “No. I was gonna tell him at the Château.”“He can’t,” Cleo says. “Heyward won’t let him out. I’ll tell him.”“I’ll come with you,” Sarah says. “He’ll want details. Kat, you’ll tell John B?”A split second, and something heavy overcomes her pretty features. “No. No, knowing JJ, that’s the first place he’ll go. I can’t see him. I’m sorry. Kie, could you…?”“My parents have me on lockdown,” she says, clearly unhappy about the fact. “I would if I could.”“I’ll go.”Kathryn turns to Billy. “You don’t have to.”Billy shrugs. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” She has some things she wants to say to him anyway.
“Billy.” Her voice is plaintive, as if fighting her own instincts. “Billy, be nice to him. All of you, please. And tell that to Pope and John B. Because… Because I won’t be. I know I won’t. So please, you have to be nice, because I’m going to be mean.”If Kathryn knows she’s going to be mean, surely, the next step would be to prevent it, right? Kathryn’s anger was never like that. She just sounded the alarm for a natural catastrophe and asked everyone to be safe.There was a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, in becoming the Kook queen that JJ told her she was.

🍓
Billy has been sitting outside the Château for about thirty minutes. No sign of John B, but he left a note saying he got the Twinkie and he and his dad were off. No sign of JJ, but one of them is bound to show up at any moment, right? Or Kathryn would have taken the risk to visit her best friend.
She’s proven right when she hears a motorcycle engine revving.Now, it needs saying that Billy isn’t a confrontational girl. Kathryn also asked them not to be too hard on JJ, because she knows herself, and knows that she will be enough for the whole group. She also knows that Kathryn doesn’t want to see their friend group explode because of it.
So a lot of what Billy thinks won’t be said here.JJ must know that he’s in a lot of trouble, because after calling out for John B, receiving no answer, he turns around to find Billy laid back on the chair, arms crossed. She quietly observes him, taking a careful step back. His eyes are very red. Puffy. His hair’s a mess which has more to do with the red cap he just tugged off.His fingers keep nervously searching for a ring on his thumb. A ring that Kathryn has taken off. Yet.
“Hey, JJ,” she says, tone even.He quickly wipes at his eyes. “John B not here?”“No. Just me.”He leans against the outer wall of the shed, looking everywhere but her. “...Is Kat okay?”Billy sighs loudly, clearly annoyed by his whole laid back demeanour when she just held Kathryn as she was crying. At least he asked if she was okay. Which meant he cared. Which meant she was even more confused by the whole ordeal.“What do you think?” she asks, before shaking her head. “Look, I’m not here to talk about Kat. I’m here about Rafe.”If JJ seemed hurt by her previous comment, the feeling clearly passes quickly as he finally meets her gaze, frowning. “What do you mean?”“He’s back on the island.” He immediately lowers his arm, and looks around at an invisible camera. “Sarah saw him.”Playing with his cap, he walks in the shed, anger radiating off of him. “ Spectacular .”“Yeah, wait until you hear the rest,” she breathes out. “Apparently Pope’s Cross will be at Wilmington tomorrow night. Kitty thinks he’s trying to sell it again.”He rolls his eyes. “ Great . Does Pope know?”“By now, I’d say so. We wanted to warn John B too, but… He’s with his dad, I guess?” She hands JJ the note. “I don’t know where they are.”“Yeah, of course,” he lets out. “Just when we need them.” He slams the paper down.
Billy is no idiot. She may be all pinkish and romance and hearts and star stickers, but she wasn’t an idiot . Kathryn had said that JJ wasn’t erratic when he broke up with her, but he was now. He was freaking out. Maybe overcompensating for the lack of her. She didn’t know, but she wanted to know.She’d always been some kind of fixer-upper.
“JJ, I was wondering–”“Hold on, though.” She shuts her mouth, tilting her head to the side. “We know where the Cross is gonna be. That means it’s still on the field. Okay, all right. So we can come in and swoop. We’re still in this, Billy. We gotta get everybody together, then we’ll come up with a plan.”Oh. Oh, now Billy gets it. The whole brain cell bursting thing. Kathryn troubleshoots and ends up hurting herself. JJ makes sure he stays busy so that nothing can get to him again.“And how are you going to get Kitty in on that?”He stops so abruptly she fears he might fall, for a second, turning back to look at Billy. He clenches his jaw, throat bobbing. If heartbreak had a face, it’d be split between him and Kathryn.“I, um… I don’t know.” He clears his throat. “I’d get it, if she doesn’t want to see me.”“She doesn’t.”He exhales sharply, sticking his tongue in his cheek. “That’s okay.”“Is it?”Billy isn’t sure how to get her point across. She isn’t friends with the guy, not by any means. They talked once, and she found him funny, and he made Kitty happy. But now, he made her cry. So even if Billy thinks something’s up, she’s not sure how to ask him.She heaves out a sigh. “Look, she’ll be here for Pope, I’m sure. And she knows stuff about Rafe we don’t, clearly, since she was locked up with him for a day.”JJ stares at her, a muscle fluttering in his jaw. “She was what?”Billy feels like she made a mistake. “She, uh… well, Rafe had a deal with Singh… She didn’t tell you?”“No. She didn’t,” he pronounces with difficulty. Billy can see the next words forming in his mind, even if he doesn’t say them. And now, she won’t . “Did he do something to her?”Seeing as JJ and Kathryn were ‘friends’ with the hugest quotation marks known to man before they were lovers, Billy can understand and admire the worry on his face. Really, she does. And maybe, she wants to test the limits of this abrupt break up.“No. I mean, he told her he loved her, which is, eugh , but that’s it.”She sees JJ go through the five stages of grief two times before he adds two more stages, settling on shutting his eyes tightly, and humming once to tell Billy that he heard her.
She crosses her arms on her chest, about as menacing as a new-born cow. “Look, JJ, I’m not a Pogue, or a Kook.”He looks back at her. “Okay?”“And Kat asked us to be nice to you, which, we both know, means she’s going to be the absolute worst to you.” He nods, grimacing. “And she doesn’t want your friends to hold anything against you. So, since none of them are allowed to ask: what the absolute heck happened?”JJ stares at her, before looking away, shaking his head. She could swear she sees tears shine in his eyes. “Look, no offence, Billy, but I really don’t want to talk about it.”“But I do,” she goes on, softly. “Because even Kitty finds it strange. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think anyone knows you as best as she does. Except, well, we both know that nothing’s as easy for her as blaming herself, so she thinks it’s her fault, but I think it’s weird .”When he doesn’t answer, stubbornly staring at the ground, Billy goes on.
“I’m not saying that your issues aren’t valid. I’m saying that I don’t think anything would have been worth letting Kat Darcy go, not for you. So something big happened, I’m sure.”JJ kicks a rock, suddenly annoyed at the way Billy was able to read him so easily, not knowing that the only reason she could was because Kathryn told her so much about him. Billy may not be a friend, but she was quite the people-reader.Which, in his case, was a very, very bad thing.“Billy, listen,” he says, words hashed out. “There are things that Kat doesn’t know, things that will hurt her more than anything I could have done. And I can’t let her get hurt like that. That’s all you need to know.”She wants to ask what things he’s referring to. What could be worse, on Kathryn, than JJ breaking up with her? Honestly, Billy can’t even make anything up. Not after seeing the state she was in when she came home earlier.
Of course, there were things Billy didn’t know, either. Things that had been stuffed in a closet at Edward’s house, for example.Billy’s lips flatten together, and she moves to leave, shaking her head. At least she has confirmation that JJ had something biting his ass, forcing him to break up. Or at least, that’s what he convinced himself of.
“I’ll get her over here, you get the others,” Billy tells him. “But if you think that whatever you’re running away from could have hurt her less, you’re wrong, JJ.”He looks away, wiping something from the corner of his eyes.Billy sighs. “You’re just wrong.”
🍓
Kathryn looks as good as she can, considering how bad she feels. She quite literally painted herself over. And used ice cubes for her swollen eyes. At least a night has passed. That’s about the only thing she got going for her. That, and her skin tight beige bodysuit, cinched at the waist with a belt.And her dad comforted her. Of all the things he missed, he didn’t miss that . There was some irony here, but Kathryn was just glad her father was here to tell her that everything would be okay, that JJ made a mistake, and that she wasn’t a Kook by any means.But now that she was sitting in the shed in front of the Château, her back to JJ, who she didn’t even turn around to greet, she felt the whole thing was a bit pointless. He had seen her begging. There was no coming back from that.Troubleshooting. JJ broke up with her because she was a Kook. Maybe Kathryn wanted to show him just how Kook she could be.
Billy nudges her with her foot, and smiles, all stars. Kathryn’s lip tugs up half-heartedly. It seems that when she told JJ he could take everything, he settled on her smiles, and her heart, and the rose-tinted glasses she used to wear.She found some of her old prescription ones. It was all so pointless. They were here for Pope, anyway, for his Cross, not to dwell on what was lost.
“When I went back to Tannyhill, Rafe was on the phone with Ward, and he just kept saying ‘My thing, this is my thing,’” Sarah explains. “He had to be talking about the Cross.”“ Absolutely ,” Pope scoffs, nearly stealing Kathryn’s line.“ And he’s coming into Wilmington tonight at eight o’clock. It’s being shipped by train to Raleigh from there, but this is our chance to get it back.”Kathryn hums. “Depending on the plan we come up with, yeah. D’you get anything else?” She’s aware that JJ must be looking at her, but she forces herself not to care. A Kook wouldn’t care.
Kie uncrosses her ankles and sits forward, showing her a piece of paper. “Uh, Sarah got the cargo number.”
“Now all we have to do is stop the right train,” she concludes, sarcastic. “Oh, joy . I missed easy plans.”“They’re definitely fencing that shit off as we speak,” JJ says behind her. She ticks, but sits back nonchalantly. “So we should probably get a move on.”Pope looks about as reassured by the look on Kathryn’s face as someone would with a bomb in their hands. “Sarah, you hear from John B?”“No,” she sighs. “I mean, he’s probably off somewhere with his dad.”“Not fair,” Kathryn says. “My dad came back from the dead and I’m here. And I’m not taking the Twinkie from us, which is the only van we have.”Pope makes a face. “I could ask Heyward for the truck.”“Uh, what? ” JJ lets out. “Yeah, that’s gonna go well.”“I know, but we have no other options.”“I mean, I could ask Henry for his truck, but…”“We’d all die in sixty seconds?”It was so natural, to talk to Kathryn, that JJ doesn’t realise what he did before everyone falls silent, and stares at the pair of them.He doesn’t realise, that over the past hours, Kathryn had been carefully crafting herself a new shell to protect herself, a new armour to put on when she sees him. Kook queen. She used to be one. She could be one again.
Kook queens didn’t get their hearts broken by some Pogue. That’s all Kathryn needed, right now. She’ll take the venom that comes with it, the fire that burns with it. It was all she had left, anyway.
Besides, didn’t Edward say that her anger was Darcy?Not turning around, she hums, arms crossed. “I like the idea of you lying dead in a ditch. How ‘bout Pope asks his dad, and you ask Henry, uh, tough guy? Since you’ve got such a big mouth today.”JJ fumbles a little behind her. Cleo, directly in front of them, looks left and right, at the rest of the Pogues. The blonde boy is positive that Henry will kill him if he shows up on his doorstep.

Kathryn stands up, sighing. “Not so talkative now, are we? Shame.” She turns to the rest of the group. “Kie, Sarah, hit up the Carreras for their truck. Pope, Cleo, hit up Heyward. Billy’s coming with me. And you .” She turns to face JJ, ignores the way he falters, the way she falters and he’s the only one to see it. “You’re gonna talk to my uncle,” she says with a carnivorous smile. “And my dad. How does that sound?”JJ stares at her. He had dealt with her Kook persona before, a long, long time ago, when she came back home. But he had been full of spite, full of resentment. Now he was just full of regrets, so he’ll take each blow if it meant Kathryn wouldn’t have to suffer his betrayal.She would, of course, suffer for hurting him on her own terms. Alone at night, she’ll keep herself awake with all the hatred she has against herself. And if only that prospect could stop her.
He opens his mouth.She makes a face. “Nah, actually, I don’t care. Get your ass in the car.”Billy stands up, holds her arm as the others scamper away quickly. “Kitty, what are you doing?”Kathryn’s eyes bore holes in JJ’s skull when she answers her. “What do you mean? I’m a Kook, aren’t I? I boss people around, that’s my thing. Besides, it’s not like JJ craves paternal validation or anything, is it?”JJ shuts his eyes tightly. “Kat, look–”“No, I’m not looking. And I’m not listening either. I’ve done my fair share of both. Now either you listen to me , or I’m cutting you out of the thing altogether. Then we’ll see how much of a Kook I am.”The only thing he can do is stare as she stalks off, Billy remaining next to him, looking about as shocked as he is. JJ, because he made the worst mistake calling her a Kook. Even if it was just to mean that she had it easy, and he didn’t. The words should have never left his mouth, they should have rotted there.
Billy, though, is looking at him. Her eyebrows are scrunched up together, pained. “You called her a Kook?” she easily gathers. “You told her you were breaking up with her because she was a Kook?”He swallows thickly. “Yeah,” he admits. “I flipped… That’s how I be.”“JJ…” Billy looks so disappointed, it disheartens him. “JJ, that’s what Rafe called her before she escaped.”Figures. It seems like JJ really does hate anyone who would call Kathryn that, with every fibre of his being.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn had thought about a thousand different kind of ways to torture JJ once she got the Palace. Force him to ask Henry to borrow his truck, simply walk past her dad, or maybe subject him to the sight of a very, very disappointed Max. She had been filled with so much rage against JJ, she saw no other way out than with him hurting as much as she did. Gone was the nice sentiment to not let her friends burn with her. She’d start the fire under his feet if she could.

When she walked in with him and Billy, she realised that none of them would ever compare to reality.

“

Mum?

”

Henry, sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table, groans audibly. “Don’t remind me.”

Caroline Darcy is sitting on an armchair next to the couch, richly dressed, relaxed enough that you wouldn’t think she’s supposed to be in jail for

murder

.

…A murder she didn’t commit, seeing as Edward was next to his brother, looking exceedingly fed up. She hadn’t thought of that, but she wished she had.

JJ has horror written all over his face. If he did sign up to getting tortured by Kathryn because he whole-heartedly believed he deserved it, this was pushing it a bit. Why is he here again? Oh, yeah. Because Kathryn said she’d cut him out of the gold hunt, of helping Pope.

He’s got to admit, she knows where to hit.

“Hello, Kathryn Elizabeth.”

Kathryn blinks, and looks back at Billy. “I’m going to kill myself.”

“You are

so

dramatic,” her mother sighs.

“Nah, I’m joining her,” Henry hums.

“Make that three,” his brother adds.

Caroline lets out a long sigh and closes her magazine. “If you had stayed dead like it was planned, I wouldn’t be here in the first place. I’d be in jail.” She turns to Kathryn. “Because

someone

couldn’t get her nose out of your stuff. Truly, Kathryn Elizabeth, did you even read the letter we left behind?”

The letter that’s now evidence for murder, that they found, with JJ. When everything was going wrong, but felt somehow right, because they were together.

If Kathryn starts thinking about this

now

, she’ll start biting people.

“

We?

” JJ himself can’t help but let out. “The letter was from both of

you?

”

Henry, around a mouthful of fries, stares at the teenager. “Why’s he here?”

“Hen,” Edward warns. “Be nice.”

“Be

nice?

Don’t you remember how Kat came home–” She glowers at her uncle. “...Absolutely unbothered and the very picture of mental stability?”

JJ falters. Not in front of Henry’s blatant lie, no, but his obvious

disappointment

. He doesn’t seem angry, not all that much considering what JJ’s done, which is essentially breaking his daughter’s heart. No, instead, Henry looks at him like he expected

so. much. more.

His eyes slide to Edward, who takes great care in evading his gaze. Maybe disappointment is better.

“Who cares about him?” Kathryn lets out, and in another world, she would have added a slight ‘

me.

’ “The letter. What did you say about the letter?”

Caroline shrugs, picking her magazine back up. “Everything you needed to know. You just didn’t read it well.” Kathryn stares at her. “Oh, do I have to spell it out for you? ‘I’ve been dead

to you

.’ ‘I’ll be dead

to the world

.’ I never said he was

dead

. And I tried to call you, to tell you, but Kathryn Elizabeth doesn’t have

time

to visit the mother she sent to jail, is that it?”

Kathryn blanches, then turns to Billy. “I’m going to kill

her

.”

JJ shares the sentiment to degrees he’s not sure should exist. His first instinct is to say something, to tell Caroline that she should, maybe, if she considers it, walk into some sort of sharp knife, but he’s not sure he can. He’s not sure he should… Who cares about him?

“Look,” Edward cuts in, taking a deep breath. “Fact of the matter is, there’s no need to start acting like Kathryn isn’t smart, she found my journal after all. But Caroline helped me, and I owe her. It’s as simple as that.”

She seems to like the idea. “Exactly. I got your dad safe. Which is why the first thing he did after he came back was tell the police this was all a big misunderstanding.”

Henry sighs. “And now she’s sitting on my armchair and I want to claw my ears out.”

“Always a pleasure, Henry.” Her hawk eyes settle on the quiet brunette by Kathryn’s side. “Hello again, Billy.”

Billy has met Caroline Darcy twice. Both times she was terrified of her, which pleased the woman immensely. This time, Billy just nods once, and can’t help but notice that Caroline isn’t saying anything about JJ. Which either means that JJ isn’t scared of her and therefore she can’t get anything out of him… Or she knows what happened, and is waiting for the right moment to strike.

Kathryn doesn’t remember it, not now, but her anger had always been Bennet.

“Where’s my brother?” Billy asks Henry.

“Got out the second the Antichrist walked in.”

They fall into uncomfortable silence, slowly realising that at least two people in the room aren’t exactly

friends

, or not anymore, and that Kathryn walked in here with determination and JJ with fear in his eyes, which isn’t out of the ordinary if they weren’t, well. Broken up.

“Well, while you’re sort of all here,” Henry lets out, groaning as he sits up. “How about you two start explaining exactly

how

you got on a deserted island?”

Kathryn would

love

to get JJ under her uncle’s fire. She would

love

to watch him squirm, and stutter, and overall agonising. But there’s a

glint

, in her mother’s steely eyes, that makes her step forward instead of pushing him.

So she’s the one who makes a very succinct recounting of everything that led them here, minus the messy break up.

But

with the teeny tiny ask of Henry’s truck, which was supposed to fall to JJ, but again. Her mother isn’t allowed to say half the things she’s said to him, earlier.

Billy ends up sitting on the other side of Henry, Kathryn still standing, and JJ almost running laps around the living room like he’s running away from the situation.

“Look, the Cross is going to be in Wilmington tonight,” Kathryn concludes. “And we have to get it.”

Edward smiles at her. “So you found out about the Heywards. Good.”

She blushes, slightly, and JJ looks out the window. “Uh, yeah. Thanks to your journal. John B figured out the invisible ink.”

“Why didn’t you just tell the kid?” Henry asks his brother.

Caroline arches a perfect brow. “And let the treasure slide? I think not.”

“Right, your business partner needs to go back to jail, I forgot.”

“And Ward is not dead,” Edward goes on. “This, I don’t like.”

His wife smiles softly. Kathryn glares at her. “Look, who cares about Ward. We need transportation to go and get the Cross.”

Caroline clicks her tongue. “No.”

She blinks. “

No?

Okay, whatever, it’s not

your

truck. Henry?”

Henry winces. “Don’t make me agree with her.”

Betrayal doesn't cover it. “Dude!”

“Kat, last time you took my truck, you busted it and went missing. I'm sorry, but you’re not going on your little adventures anymore. Just do what your dad did and sit everything out, let people work for you.”

Edward makes a face. “Not sure that’s how I’d put it.”

“But it was the smart choice,” Caroline goes on. “I’m sure you’ll be surprised to know after you put me in jail, but I don’t particularly want you dead, sweetheart.” Billy gags behind her hand.

If all three of them – scratch that – if Henry and Caroline agree on something, Kathryn alone has no shot in convincing them to get the truck. None at all.

She stares at the three adults. “JJ?”

He jumps, dropping the book he was fidgeting with. “

Uh?

”

“Yeah, you’re back on, tough guy. Tell them why we have to go.”

Kathryn knows that, at least on her dad’s and Henry’s part, the fact that her and JJ are agreeing means they’ve got to be right. Or at least, she hopes so. Otherwise she just talked to the guy for nothing, and she’s not exactly into that idea.

JJ counts on his fingers, recounting what she just said while making it painfully obvious that he wasn’t paying attention in the slightest. “Ward’s alive in the Caribbean. He’s living off the loot that he stole from us, and, uh, yeah, he’s flying across to Wilmington.”

Maybe Kathryn should have known this would be a bad idea. Not only does it really just

not

answer her question, he was already on thin ice, she could see it in the face of everyone who’s last name was Darcy. And Caroline had always been the worst.

She stands up. Kathryn braces herself for him, unwillingly. It’s instinct, really. Caring for JJ is second nature.

“What makes you think I’m going to put my daughter’s well-being into your hands?”

JJ clenches his jaw. “I think your daughter’s smart enough to make her own choices.”

“Is she? She went out with

you

.” The way she said it perfectly illustrated her intent. She spoke to him like he was nothing more than a cockroach, slithering his way into her family. She looks back at Kathryn, who’s arms are now crossed, fury in her eyes. “I think you’ve been led astray, Kathryn Elizabeth. And you,

JJ

–”

Henry stands up. “

Caroline.

”

“No, let me speak, Henry.”

“I swear, Caroline, if you cross a line…”

Caroline is already standing in front of JJ before Edward can stand up too, Billy sinking into her seat.

JJ holds his ground, raised chin at her, which perhaps sets her off even more. “I know kids like you, Jesse James,” she starts, cold as ice.

He scoffs. “Sure you do.”

“I do. You’re the cool guy, you’re fun to be around, to ditch school, go down to the break. I

hung out

with kids like you. And they tried to drag me down with them, but I said no, and just because my daughter did charity work does

not

mean you’ll get to drag her down with you.”

Kathryn knows and recognises the way JJ clenches his jaw – clamps down, really, so hard that it must hurt. She’s sure her mom is aware that she’s struck a nerve. And to be honest, it’s not exactly hard to know that to get to JJ, Kathryn has to be mentioned in some way.

“Dad,” Kathryn turns to Edward. “You can’t let her say that.”

“Caroline, let’s settle down–”

“Kids like you,

JJ

, aren’t allowed to mess around with my daughter.” She scoffs to herself, shaking her head. “She was a lot better in London, believe me.”

Billy huffs. “That’s a lie,” she mutters.

It can’t be heard, of course, over the sound of Kathryn's own voice, coming out screaming. “I was

dead

, in London,” she corrects. “I was

dead

, because of you, so don’t start making up bullshit–”

“

Bullshit?

” Caroline echoes. “Kathryn, you were on track to be in Yale at

sixteen

. Now that you’ve missed two months of school because of those Pogues, I doubt they’ll want to take you. When is it going to stop? When your whole life’s ruined because you couldn’t resist the thrill? All for a kid who doesn’t deserve anything from you.” She turns back to JJ, who holds her glare, albeit his own eyes getting teary. “The only good thing you’ve ever done was spare her the pain of being the one to let you go.”

Edward stands up, before his daughter can rip her mother’s wig off. “That’s enough.”

JJ stays utterly still.

Too

, still, really. Entirely too calm, taking every blow, because nothing is worse than letting Kathryn go, and JJ himself knows that Caroline is

right

. All the way.

A muscle flutters in his jaw, as he keeps on staring at her. “Thanks for the insight, Caroline,” he says through gritted teeth, before looking past her and at the horrified look on Kathryn’s face. He doesn’t deserve her. “I’m gonna find a ditch, now.”

The Darcys don’t move for about twenty seconds.

Then Kathryn rounds her dad as JJ leaves, finger raised at Caroline. “How dare you? How dare you talk to him like that? You don’t even know him!”

She laughs. “Oh please, Kathryn Elizabeth. I don’t even understand

why

you’re defending him, the kid broke up with you. Stop giving him that big of a place in your life, he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Caroline,” Edward starts.

“

And?

” Kathryn grounds out. “I hope he takes as much space as he can as long as it leaves

you

out.”

“Open your eyes,” her mother says. “That kid is a liar, and a thief, just like his dad.”

“Caroline!” Henry damn near shrieks.

“He’s

not!

” Kathryn walks until she’s up in her mom’s face, staring back at her reflection. “You don’t know him. You don’t have the faintest who he is, mum.”

“I know he broke your heart.”

“Yeah, and I gave it to him for a reason, so maybe you should think about that before you come here talking shit.” She licks her lips, fighting against herself, because she hates JJ, she hates JJ enough to love him, always has. “He wouldn’t have hurt me if there weren’t people like

you

telling him he can’t be anything else but his father. If that’s really what got you so worked up, then start by hating yourself.” Lord knows Kathryn does.

Her mother tilts her head. “Like you do, for still loving him?”

Her blood runs cold in her veins, and she finds herself unable to form words let alone sentences, for a hot minute. Minute they don’t have.

Billy grabs her hand, tugging her back. “Kitty, come on, we have to go. They’ve got to be waiting for us.”

She hesitates, tense, staring at her mother’s face. She’s not stupid. She knows she still loves JJ, they broke up the day

before

. If it was an on and off switch, this would be much easier. Now, does Kathryn hate herself for it?

Kathryn always hates herself for something. She’s hated herself for liking JJ, before they got together. She could very well hate herself for loving him, giving ammunition to hurt her. She could hate herself for thinking that it would last forever.

Edward pats her shoulder, interrupting her thoughts. “Go, kid.”

Kathryn looks away from her mother, who is still fuming at what her daughter told her, and walks to the door. It’s no use talking to Caroline, it never was. She’ll always want to have the last word, and so will Kathryn.

“Uh… look, the truck’s still busted up,” Henry tells her as she walks past him.

“It’s fine,” she grumbles. “We’ll find something. Get the psycho out of your house.”

He falters a little at her harsh tone, but can’t hold it against her for the life of him. “Yeah, I’ll try. Call me, if you need anything.” She hums. He grabs her wrist. “Kat. I mean it.”

“Yeah, I’ll call you, or dad, promise.” She looks back at the door. “Look, I’m really pissed off right now, I need to get some fresh air before I actually kill her.”

He nods, and lets her go.

She walks out, Billy on her heels, and finds JJ leaning against her car, arms crossed. She ignores the way his navy blue shirt fits him, or the fact that he’s

touching her car

, for that matter. She doesn’t say anything, though, which is the largest olive branch she could extend to him, at the moment.

She bites her lower lip, getting her keys out. She doesn’t look at him as she unlocks the car. “You okay?”

She thinks she hears him inhale sharply in surprise. “It’s whatever. I know what she thinks of me.”

Kathryn hums. It’s the only thing she asks. Of course, she wants to push, she wants to make sure he’s okay, make sure that he didn’t hear her say that he was like his father, because as much as Kathryn despises JJ at the moment, he never deserves to hear that.

“...Thanks,” he lets out, when she opens the door. “For having my back.”

Kathryn huffs. “I had my own back, she was seconds from calling me an idiot. Get in the car, now.”

He mutters something about being bossed around that she doesn’t think of picking up on. Billy, opening the passenger seat’s door, sends her a look.

“

What?

” The Donovan shrugs, looking impish. “Get in the car, Bills.” She already knows what she wants to say.

She could have done what she came here to do, let JJ fend for himself, feed him to the wolves. She could have watched quietly as Caroline teared into him the way only a Bennet would know how to do, hitting all the right weaknesses. But she didn’t.

Because Kathryn only hates JJ as much as she loves him.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy is frankly just not at ease in the car with Kathryn and JJ. Even if he’s in the backseat, even if he’s chosen to not be as vocal as he usually is. Yeah, Billy hung out with him like, twice, and she can tell that he’s being

extremely

silent. Kathryn is a taciturne kind of person, so she doesn’t really count.

But she can tell you with the utmost seriousness that the second Kathryn parks, Billy is running out onto the cruise boat they’re taking. They’re not going anywhere, it’s really just a boat that rounds the island where you can eat and drink and stuff. They needed a place where Rafe wouldn’t be. And where Kathryn wouldn’t get explosives.

She slams the car door as she gets out, glowering at Billy’s running form. JJ, next to her, awkwardly stands there. She stares back at him, before moving forward.

“Kat, hey, wait up.”

Taking the biggest breath known to man and hoping it leaves no oxygen to JJ, she turns back. “What do you want? I’m not giving you a kidney.”

“What? No, I…”

He tries to choose his words carefully because knows that there are a few that’ll set her off. She beats him to it.

“You know, I get breaking up with me. Like, not for whatever reason you can come up with, that you have nothing to offer to me when this

isn’t the mid eighteen hundreds

and I wasn’t expecting anything from you in the first place.” He blinks, taking the words in with obvious difficulty. Kathryn’s breathing turns shaky, and she shakes herself. She won’t give him the satisfaction of making her cry again. “I get breaking up with me. But you didn’t have to call me a Kook. That was a low blow.”

He shoves his hands in his pockets, absentmindedly stopping himself from reaching for her, gripping his lighter instead. “Nah, you’re right. I went too far.”

“It’s like you

wanted

me to blow up at you,” she adds, frowning. “Weirdo. You never told me about any masochistic kink.”

JJ did want her to get angry. At least he wouldn’t have had to see her cry.

A smile threatens to appear on his face. “Is that… is that a joke? Are you making jokes at me?”

“No, I’m making fun of you, JJ.” Seeing her so serious, he stops smiling altogether. “What do you want? You’re not exactly my favourite person to talk to, right now.”

“‘Kay, fair. I just wanted to know where we stand before–”

“Walking in a room where everyone will jump you for screwing this up?” She reminds him, one of the very first things he told her the morning after their first kiss. “Yeah, I'd be peeing my pants too, but don’t worry, I’ll be the only one giving you shit.” She considers his options. “Okay, maybe worry a bit.”

“You know, I can actually use words? ‘Cause you keep putting a bunch of ‘em in my mouth.”

Kathryn has to admit that he has some balls, even if she’s been berating him for the whole beginning of the day. Which is why she smirks, instead of decking him. “Okay, JJ. Use your words. Why did you break up with me?”

He splutters. “I, uh? I told you.”

“Nah, you said you were sorry a lot, and that I was a Kook. Not exactly a whole lot to go by.” She shrugs. “I want a clean cut answer.”

She’s not sure she does. But it’s better than that whole weird floating feeling that she doesn’t have the whole truth, because when it comes to JJ, she always does. To be fair, the whole break up is a blur. She’s not sure she should be revisiting it a day later, when the scars are still wounds, and most of them are bleeding.

JJ knows he doesn’t want to. He barely made it through the first time, unable to use more words than ‘I’m sorry,’ because he was, and that feeling of regret overtook everything. But Kathryn was actually talking

to

him, not at him, not as a joke, not to make fun of him or insult him.

“‘m not good with words,” he grumbles.

“You were good enough back there.”

He closes his eyes. “Look, it was just never gonna work out. You mom said it, I did you a favor.” That’s just

disappointing

. He can see it in her eyes.

Kathryn scoffs. “Okay, one: we’re agreeing with my

mum?

Second, who said it wasn’t gonna work out? Your brain damage?”

She can see him holding back a sad smile. “Something like that, yeah.”

She looks at him, properly. He tries not to look her in the eyes while she inspects him. She can tell he’s holding something back, even if she doesn’t know why. Maybe someone said something to him. Hell, maybe his dad contacted him and sent him spiralling. If she gives him a little push…

She steps closer to him, until she has to look up to make sure he’s staring in her eyes and sees the anger there, that never rests.

“Listen, JJ, I’m mad as shit right now. I’m proper pissed off.”

His eyes blow slightly wider. “Uh, no, yeah, I get that.”

“But I want to understand. So you

can

talk to me. If you give me a few days, so I don’t berate you for breathing in my direction.”

He seems to debate with himself about whatever goes on in his brain, Kathryn no longer wants to know, before scratching the back of his head awkwardly. If he at least tells her what’s wrong with her, then she can fix it. And once it’s fixed, he can come

back

. She can’t believe how pathetic she sounds, but she just wants him back, at this point. Kathryn always wanted him.

She’s not sure stepping up to him to get her point across was a good idea. Especially when she realises she’s not looking at his eyes anymore. His lips are suddenly the only thing she can picture.

Kathryn was never good with desire. She always mistook it for something or other. But oh, she was burning with it now, like being deprived of his kisses was enough to have her starved. She wagers, from the hungry look on his face and the way he balls his fists in his pockets, she isn’t the only one.

She thinks she’s dreaming when he leans forward, like he’s going to kiss her, and she doesn’t move, like she’s going to let him.

“Yeah, um, and then, we can, uh…” JJ swallows thickly. “We can try being friends.”

Kathryn keeps her gaze locked on his, before stepping back, scoffing to herself. “

Friends

,” she repeats, hating the word. “You want us to be friends.”

He scratches his temple, blushing a little. “Yeah. Yeah, I mean, if you wanna.”

She thinks she entered some kind of alternate dimension, because JJ Maybank can

not

be asking her to be friends right now. Mister

Waiting Game Winner

is asking for friendship, and half a second ago, Kathryn was thinking of the way he tasted.

“We barely could be friends when we liked each other, how do you think we’ll manage knowing we love each other?” she says, her voice growing angry by the second, cheeks burning with the shame of admitting her feelings.

He stares at her, and she notices the slight heave of his chest. “I don’t know.”

She shakes her head. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

“Kat–”

“I said ‘

whatever

.’”

Kathryn stomps up the steps to the boat, ignoring if the blonde is following her, the sting of rejection prickling at her skin. She sits down heavily between Pope and Sarah, across from Billy and Cleo. She doesn’t say a single word, arms crossed, staring at the teenage boy that sulks up and joins them, next to Billy.

Kie blinks at her. “You guys good, or…?”

“

Peachy

,” Kathryn grounds out. She kicks her legs up on the table, crossing her ankles. “So? You got your dad’s truck?”

“Um… no. You?”

“No. Mum’s back in town though.”

Cleo tilts her head, hearing everyone groan. “Bad news?”

“Catastrophic,” Pope confirms.

“I miss her being in jail,” Billy hums.

“Not to say that it doesn’t suck, but, uh… I mean, even if we did have transportation, we still have no idea how to get the Cross in the first place,” Sarah lets out.

“Honestly, the hardest part is gonna be security, all right?” JJ states. “So most of the guys are gonna be at the rail yard.”

Pope nods. “Right, so we’ll need to find some place and guard it, maybe a little further down the line, like a whistle-stop.”

“And how do we carry it?” Kathryn asks, raising a brow.

“I’ve been saying,” Cleo sighs. “You guys are getting ahead of yourselves per usual. We don’t have a way to transport the Cross. What you think?

On JJ’s motorcycle?

”

Kathryn holds back a smile, before her… ex?... stands up.

“That’s not my fault.”

“Okay, other options.”

“Pope,” she starts, shaking her head. “We’ve tried our other options.”

“

Oh my god.

”

They turn to Sarah, who holds her hands to her mouth, shocked at whatever she just saw. For a second, Kathryn’s scared that Rafe somehow made it here, but quickly settles down. Sarah would have reacted a tad bit more seriously.

“Oh my god what?”

Very, very inconspicuously, seven teenagers turn towards the bar. It’s obvious what got Sarah gasping. Kathryn blinks once. Twice.

“Is that Topper?”

“Scratch Frosted Tip, is that

Josh?

” She sinks in her chair. “That’s, uh, oh that’s wonderful.”

She hasn’t seen him since she’s been back. Henry mentioned him

once

, in passing, saying he saw the kid and he told him to tell Kat ‘hi.’ That’s about all the interaction she’s had. Oh, and the last time she saw him, JJ punched him in the face because he was jealous, as he told her.

Which clearly hasn’t gone away. “You’ve

got

to be kidding me.”

Kie turns back, closing her eyes tightly. “School, here, the boneyard… why… is he everywhere?”

“Wait, that’s good,” Billy suddenly lets out. She taps JJ’s shoulder, who groans, already annoyed by the sight of

Juniper

. “He has a truck! He came by the house to ask us if we had news about Kitty with it, I’ve seen it!”

Sarah hums. “Yeah. Yeah no, I’ve seen his pick-up.”

All eyes converge to Kathryn. She sits up straight. She doesn’t like where this is going. She

just

got out of a relationship. Said ex boyfriend is staring at the sky like god has it in for him. Also, the awkwardness of it all might end her.

“Don’t do this to me, guys.”

“Look, if you don’t want to, we won’t.” Sarah is fully aware that Kathryn tends to use her body as a tool, and doesn’t want to feed into it.

“But?”

Kie tilts her head back and forth. “To be fair, the guy’s drooling all over the place any time you come into the room, so…” She shrugs. “Take one for the team? And if it gets too much, tap out, and we’ll try Topper.”

JJ takes his cap off, fidgeting with it. “Uh… Like, I think if Kat doesn’t want to, she shouldn’t, you know?”

Pope turns to him. “And that’s not at all biased.”

“Ay…” Cleo breathes out, shaking her head.

Kathryn crosses her arms, thinking on it. She already knows she’s going to say yes. Part of being a good friend, she figures, is helping Pope get his family heirloom back. Besides, she doesn’t mind all that much, she thinks… Her body is hers only partly, she thinks.

While she reflects on everything, she realises that she’s looking at Billy, in front of her. Billy makes googly eyes at her and JJ’s back, wiggling her eyebrows. The Darcy frowns, and looks at the blonde, a little unwillingly.

JJ looks about ten seconds from passing out, drumming his fingers on the table, raking a hand through his hair, glaring at Josh, who doesn’t even know that he’s here. Friends, uh. Just friends. He wants them to be

friends.

Kathryn always liked to make people eat their words.

Sorry, Josh

. “I’ll do it.”

Pope’s eyes have stars in them. “

Really?

”

“Yeah. I mean, Sarah could try Topper, but she has John B. And it’s not like I’m in a relationship, right, JJ?”

The table falls silent. JJ’s eye twitches. “Right. I don’t mind. It’s chill. Whatever.”

She smiles, the kind of blinding fake smile that had him weak in the knees. “Yeah, I hope you don’t mind, babe. We’re just

friends

now, aren’t we?”

JJ was indeed eating his every last word. “Yeah,” he agrees through clenched teeth.

Kie smacks her lips together. “I like how you didn’t make it weird.”

Kathryn pats her shoulder, standing up. “You started it.”

She readjust her bodysuit, makes sure the neckline is low enough, the shorts fitted just right, and inhales sharply looking back at the group. Pope is delighted to be one step closer to getting the Cross. Cleo looks vaguely amused. Sarah just seems glad she doesn’t have to approach Topper, Kie obviously sharing the feeling. Billy keeps looking at JJ with a smirk. She was always a little impish.

JJ is losing his

goddamn

mind. Of all the people Kathryn would have to

flirt with

, it just had to be fucking

Jayden

. He was sick, positively sick. And he had just told her he wanted to be friends, and from the way she keeps making eye contact with him while adjusting the top of her bodysuit, he remembers that Kathryn is nothing if not spiteful.

Flirting with Josh is easy. He hugs her the second he sees her, all smiles, and then asks if she wants to go to the top deck, which she obliges with a smile, no stranger to the hand he places on the small of her back as they walk past the Pogues. It’s the first time in JJ’s life that he’s happy he doesn’t have the gun, because if he did, there’d be a murder suicide right about now.

Josh is very touchy, Kathryn thinks absent-mindedly. He keeps placing fly-away hairs back behind her ear, smiling at her. She

thinks

she missed him? He was always a nice guy to her, and their last night out had been a bit… eventful, but he never did anything against her. And he was quite nice to speak to. Easy.

Josh had always been the easy way out.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” he says, grinning, all teeth. “I tried texting you, and figured you might not have a phone back yet.” She did. She just didn't answer. “How are you, really? It must have been hard.”

His bleached hair has grown completely out now, and Kathryn has to admit she much prefers his brown hair on him. His eyes seem kinder.

She offers him a half-hearted smile, looking out at the water. “Bit tough, right now,” she tells him.

He seems invested, which is nice. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Kathryn’s eyes divert to the left, right next to his shoulder, and fall on her group of friends, urging her to just

get on with it

. JJ is a little further away, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, very visibly angry, and Kathryn isn’t sure if he’s even trying to hide it. Well, whatever.

He

broke up with

her

. And they’re friends, now.

“Yeah,” she smiles back at Josh. “Yeah, no, we’re like, on a little adventure, after Pope’s heirloom. It’s kind of why we were gone.”

He frowns. “What kind of heirloom?”

“Priceless. An antique, really. From the early eighteen hundreds, at least. I think. I couldn’t get that proper a look. Well, I did, but only once.”

“You know, you’re pretty when you talk nerdy.”

She laughs easily. JJ thinks people died for less than making Kathryn laugh.

Kathryn shoves at his shoulder. “I’m not

nerdy

. I’m invested! Look, we lost the thing, and we could actually get it back tonight. With a little help, from a very cute friend.”

Josh hums, leaning down towards her, Kathryn not leaning away. “That very cute friend is a little concerned about the blonde you usually have with you.”

She falters a little. “JJ? Oh, no, don’t worry. We’re just friends.”

He snorts. “You tried telling me that?”

“Actually, he tried telling

me

that.”

He seems floored by the prospect of Kathryn getting rejected. “I’m

sorry?

”

“Hm, yeah, so will he.”

Josh chuckles at that, brushing a knuckle against her cheek. “Attagirl.”

Kathryn tries to ignore the way JJ abruptly straightens up and starts pacing around in her peripheral vision. “Would you be able to help?”

“Help JJ realise what he missed…? Or Pope?”

She shrugs. “We could multitask.”

“I like the sound of that, actually.” He sighs, stepping back, but still grinning. “What do you need, Kat?”

She winces a little. “Your truck?”

“Done.”

“

What?

” she nearly cries out. “That easy?”

He laughs, a full sound that rattles her bones. “You’re hard to say ‘no’ to.” Her face splits in a grin. “I do have a condition.”

She nods. “Yeah, sure. Of course.”

“I care about the thing. And I saw what you did to mister H’s truck… so I’m driving.”

Well. At least they have a truck. That’s not half bad. “Thank you.”

She smiles at him, and kisses his cheek, as a thanks. John tugs her into a hug, which she accepts easily. Of course it’s easy. There’s no love there. All of it belongs to the guy who sulks as the rest of his friend group cheers. Josh was her friend, the way JJ asked to be.

But Kathryn is a good friend, she’s decided. She can’t let their drama get in the way of the Cross, Pope’s Cross. It already fueled her into taking this decision, to flirt her way to the truck. That’s as far as she’ll go. A good friend.

JJ just happens to hate the concept.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn drives back to the Palace to take Billy home. Actively participating in the planning still doesn’t mean she’s letting her in on the dangerous shit. Besides, she needs to cover for her with Henry, Edward, and

Caroline

, so she’s not sure who’s more in danger.

Besides, Billy doesn’t

like

all of their little illegal shenanigans. She’s had enough of close-ones in her life as is. She doesn’t need more. Of course, as she grows closer to the rest of the group, it becomes more arduous. Just like it had been hard to leave her parents, knowing that they might blame Max over it. Billy doesn’t

fit

in that kind of world. And Kathryn agreed, which is why she’d never take her on anything dangerous.

She comes back downstairs to find her dad still on the couch. It’s pitch black outside. Neither one of them should be up.

Edward raises his head as his daughter walks in. “Where are you off to?”

She falters a little. She can’t exactly tell him

everything

she’s about to do, considering it’s bound to turn illegal, knowing their luck. “Um… I’m going to help Pope, with the Cross.”

“Oh, right. Tell me if you need help with the police.”

She sniggers a little, surprised, before walking to him and sitting down next to him on the couch. She’s got time, she thinks. “I can’t believe you’re so chill about all this. Henry’s jumping up and down most of the time.”

He arches a brow at her. “Henry has never done anything like that before. And he’s scared, ever since I disappeared. Be nice to him.”

She frowns. “I

am

nice to him. I think. I mean, I get where he’s coming from, but it’s frustrating sometimes.” She knows he cares about her, seeing as she’s not a complete

buffoon

.

“No, I know. And then he has those dimples every time you do something bad…”

“Yeah!” she chuckles. “The dimples of discontentment.”

They stay in comfortable silence, before Edward turns to her, putting a hand on her shoulder, reassuring.

“You know, kid, once you get the Cross, you could actually have a shot at

El Dorado

.”

Kathryn blinks at him. To be fair,

El Dorado

is so far from her mind at the moment. With her break-up with JJ, Rafe’s return, her dad and the Cross, she hasn’t stopped to think about the myth that’s apparently not so much one.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I kinda don’t like being kidnapped and doing all this stuff. I’m mainly doing it for the historical aspect, and my friends.” She plays with the ring around her thumb. “I actually started looking for the Merchant’s gold to mess with JJ.”

Her father covers her hand. “The kid doesn’t know what he gave up, okay? You’re priceless, Kitten. You could find anything you put your mind to, I’m sure that includes someone.”

She shrugs a shoulder. “I’m not sure I want to find anyone else.”

Her father smiles sadly at her, and she shrugs again. Kathryn bounces back, that’s her whole thing. That’s why she isn’t under the covers crying as we speak. She always, always

bounced back

. Besides, she had to. She had to help Pope. She couldn’t just

take a break

from all this, could she? Spreading herself thin was an art, and she mastered it anyway.

Finding anyone else was just out of the question.

“Well,” Edward smiles. “You can always settle on finding

El Dorado

with John B and Big John.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure, as soon as the dude comes back.” She stands up, grinning back at her dad. “I missed you, dad. I’m gonna go now, don’t wait for me. Text you if I’m in jail!”

“Have fun, Kitten!”

Kathryn is sure that if her dad knew half the stuff they were planning to do, he wouldn’t be as

enthusiastic

.

🍓

Wilmington’s station is deserted, at this hour, which was sort of the

point

. The hardest part is mostly the fact that it’s filled with trains that would take forever to examine one by one before getting the Cross,

if

it’s in one of those trains and not one that’s

coming

. Standing on top of an unmoving car, it really just puts everything in perspective.

“Well, there’s like a thousand trains here,” Sarah sighs.

“Well,” Pope repeats. “We know it’s seven fifty X on the track to Raleigh.”

“Which just leaves us with the small task of actually

finding it

,” Kathryn ends.

“And news flash,” Kie interrupts. “We’re not getting out of here unnoticed with a

giant

Cross.”

“We don’t have to,” Pope tells her. “We can nab it somewhere in the country.”

Which means finding the car, then observing which tracks it gets, and

then

being fast enough to stop it further down. Not to mention actually stopping it.

Kathryn hums. “And we’ll be stopping that train with our own personal

Superman?

”

“Leave that to me.”

She stares at JJ. Of course he’d say something like this. “I forgot the part where you shot up radioactives, but that’d explain a lot.”

“Ah, ah. Look, I got an uncle in New Bern, right? When he got tipsy, he’d just throw an old chain across the tracks, just for shits and giggles. And that old little chain would stop all the train traffic in coastal Carolina.”

“

A chain?

” Kie repeats dubious.

While it

sounds

crazy, Kathryn hates to say it: “It’s the low voltage current in the tracks. If you put metal on it, you close that circuit. Close that circuit, and it reads as a train, and the crossing lights come down. I’m sad to say that it’s science, not bullshit.”

“Science. I knew my science.”

“Except we don’t

have

a chain,

dipshit

. Loads of help that science gets us.”

“I’m just tryna help.”

“Try harder,

bestie

.” He makes a face at her. Then, realisation hits, and she closes her eyes. “

But

on the way here, Josh told me he keeps jumper cables, in case I decide to bust his truck without even driving, which, rude.”

“Would that work?” Cleo asks.

Pope nods. “Yeah.” JJ rolls his eyes.

“I heard my name!” The group turns around to Josh, leaning against his car. “Not that I don’t like the view, Kat, but could we hurry a bit?”

She gives him a thumbs up. “In a minute!”

They turn back around. JJ has about the flattest look on his face. “Did he just say he liked watching your ass?”

Kathryn sighs deeply. “Don’t be mad just because you can’t stare at it anymore.”

“Woah, we never said anything about that–”

“

Guys!

” Cleo cries out. “We don’t have time for this. Look, you all wait here. Me and Pope will go look for it and send a signal once we find it.”

Pope nods. The conversation ends awkwardly, the group not exactly used to that sort of preparation, not in the slightest.

Sarah looks back and forth at them. “Do we actually have a plan right now?”

“We might,” Kathryn lets out slowly.

“That’s impressive.”

“Don’t jinx it, Cameron. Come on.”

They wait for what seems like

forever

, until Pope climbs up a car, forever away from where they are, still crouched on a train.

He shines his light at them. Kathryn flashes her phone’s flashlight back at him.

“That’s it,” Kie says. “We’re green.”

Which of course, means that a sudden train horn blares in the distance.

“What’s happening?”

“You hear that?”

“You jinxed it, Kie!”

With a rattle, the train Pope is currently balancing himself on starts moving. Cleo jumps on in the nick of time. New plan, they’re

taking the train

.

“

Shit.

”

“Train’s moving, train’s moving!”

“We can fucking see it, JJ!”

Kathryn is quicker to come down the top of the wagon, skipping a few steps on the ladder to make sure she doesn’t freeze because of her own vertigo, Josh catching her as she comes down.

Her brain is going a thousand per second. Not only do they have to stop the train to get the Cross now, they actually have to stop it to get Pope and Cleo back.

“Is everything alright?”

“Don’t have time to explain, we need those jumper cables.”

He follows her to his truck. “Okay, just wanna make sure you’re not crashing my car.”

She nods, opening the truck herself. “Sure we won’t.”

“And also, are we going to federal prison?”

“If we have to,” JJ tells him dryly. “But we wouldn’t want you to get your hair messy, Jasmine.”

“Stop talking,” comes a certain British accent.

Kathryn turns JJ around by the shoulder, opening his backpack and shoving the jumper cables in. “Why are you manhandling me?”

“Because you’re acting like a

toddler

.”

“You manhandle toddlers?”

She takes in a shaky breath, equal part annoyed and holding back a laugh. Why did he have to be so funny? It’s not even the right

time

to think that.

“Kat?” Kie starts.

“What?”

“We don’t have time to argue.”

“I can multitask.”

“No, we know that. She meant you’re going with JJ,” Sarah tells her.

The two turn to her, eyes wide, sharing faces of obvious shock.

“Nah, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Like hell I am?”

“Look, you get the science shit of the jumper cables, okay?” Kie tells her. “He gets the illegal part.”

“Illegal?” Josh echoes quietly.

“Sorry, Josh,” Sarah tells him, contrite. “You’ll have to rain check that ride with Kat.”

If there’s one thing that Kathryn hates more than being forced to do something, is being forced to do something and knowing that it’s the

right

thing. Kie and Sarah are also the best person to leave with Josh, considering Sarah is nice to him and Kie knows how to behave when the blonde is around.

Josh looks dejected. “It’s fine.”

Kathryn looks back at JJ. “If you say a

single

wrong thing–”

“You’re crashing the bike, I get it.”

JJ gets on, and hands her his backpack to put on, so it doesn’t come in the way. She grumbles as she puts it on, and sits on the bike. She trusts him with his life, but she swears, this thing is meant to kill you.

Josh seems a little pathetic, hanging back around his truck, the girls already climbing on. She makes a face at him. “Sorry.”

“Yeah, we’re real sorry, Jill.” She could swear he’s smirking.

Kathryn pinches JJ’s side, and he winces as he starts the bike. Kie’s right, they don’t have time to argue.

They start down the road tracing the railway, the car following them a little of the way before JJ swerves left and takes dirt roads. Kathryn holds onto his middle for dear life, ignoring the way his abs tense up against her fingers, or the way her heart hammers in her chest at the proximity.

He stops the bike, hurriedly, and climbs off, Kathryn following.

He falls face first, stumbling back on. She can’t even help her snort.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,

I’m fine

.”

She scrambles for the jumper cables, handing them to him. “Do your shit, Einstein.”

“All right.” A train horn blares in the distance. “Oh god, you can hear it coming.”

“Yeah, so hurry it along!”

In the darkness, he plugs the jumper cables to the crossing light. “Let’s fry this fucker up. Okay, now, all you have to do is change the current.”

He jumps over the rails, Kathryn gasping, hands reaching for him. “Be

careful

. It might be low voltage, but the tracks

are

electrified. I’d hate to not be the one killing you.”

“Yeah, me too.” He puts one claw on the rail, then hovers the other one over it. “Three, two, one… and red.”

They stare up at the post. The light keeps blinking green, as the train draws closer. There’s no change in sight.

Kathryn waits five more seconds, because if JJ has to be wrong today, it better not be about this.

“Come on, man, come on…”

“Talking to it isn’t gonna make it work,” she lets out, frustrated. “You have to have done something wrong.”

“That’s what he would do,” he assures her. “That’s literally what my– so then it’d change red–

oh my god

.”

As he rambles on about blockading the track – with

what?

– Kathryn stares at the track, head tilted. It’s a circuit, right? With positive and negative charges. If they put both cables on the positive charge, that’s as good as not doing anything. That’s why there are two tracks, why the train touches both. So…

“...Maybe put a tree?”

“Hey, before you uproot a tree, Clark Kent,” she says, taking a cable, and clasping it on the other rail. “Let’s see if

I

know my science.”

The horn blares again. The light blinks. Green, green, green, green, green–

Red

.

“Oh, fuck yes!”

“That’s what I’m talking about!”

They high-five, keeping the other’s hand for just a tad longer than they should.

“You’re a genius,” he tells her. “Literally the biggest brain.”

“You helped a bit.”

Keeping her hand in his, JJ drags her away from the tracks. “And now we wait.”

About five minutes later, JJ and Kathryn hiding in bushes and not at all holding hands still, as it was still a habit, as it still felt right, the train comes around.

Kathryn tugs on JJ’s palm when the train screeches and comes to a halt. “We’re so cool,” she hushers at him.

“No we are, I agree.”

They stay like this, watching as a controller comes out, inspects the train, and then minutes later, as a car drives up to inspect the light, and find their handiwork. It won’t take them long to take it off, and start again.

The light turns back green.

Kathryn purses her lips. “They had enough time. Definitely.”

“Yeah, no. I hope so. Otherwise we didn’t do much.”

She hums. “But it was a bit fun.”

He laughs a little, quietly. “I knew you liked illegal shit.”

She looks back at him, realising how close they are, to hide from the cops, basically smushed together. She tilts her head. JJ’s eyes zero in on her lips. Familiarity is not what boils his veins.

“That’s not very

friendly

,” she reminds him, with equally as hooded eyes.

He licks his lips. “Don’t know what you mean. I’m being very friendly right now.”

“Yeah.” She holds up their joint hands. “I think that’s the problem.”

His thumb traces over his ring, on her own finger. “I don’t see you letting go.”

She leans forward. “I’m not the one who broke up.”

Before anything can happen, the horn blares. The train is about to start again, and they’re about to make a mistake.

Not to mention, there’s a distinct lack of Pogues driving down the road. JJ lets go of Kathryn’s hand, perking up. If they’re pinched…

“We have to go get them,” Kathryn says, standing up already.

He hurries her over back to the bike, stumbling, his things falling to the ground in a clutter. He picks some of his stuff, missing one. Kathryn rolls her eyes at him, and picks it up.

She turns it over in her hand. Stares at it. Gets a proper, hard and long look. Now, she knows

damn well

that he didn’t have her father’s money clip. Because she knows for a fact that these last days, he left it in the living room.

Where they were when Caroline was berating him.

Anger simmers in her veins, so familiar, greater than anything she felt when they were hiding.

She holds it in front of him. He winces. “What the fuck is this?”

He looks away, a flash of shame in his eyes as he focuses on starting his bike. “If I’m gonna be accused of being a thief, might as well get something out of it.”

“

What?

” she cries out. “Okay, first off, my dad didn’t do shit to you! I can’t

believe…

I knew it was weird that you’d agree with my mum, but to go as far as to give her actual ammunition–”

“Ammunition about

what

, Kat?” His tone grows softer, sadder. “They’re already against me. So who cares?”

She crosses her arms, huffing. “You’re seriously just fine with playing into my mum’s idea of you? That’s so–”

“

Who cares, Kat?

” he repeats at the same time as she finishes her sentence, earning himself a glare. “We don’t have time for this. Get on.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Get

on

the bike, Kat.”

She’s about to fling her middle finger in his face when the truck zooms past, a wooden box on the bed. A better argument than anything he could come up with at that moment, really.

“That’s Joyce – and that’s the Cross. Get on!”

She climbs on the bike, not mad enough at him to jeopardise everything, including her friends’ safety. “This is

not

the last time you hear about this.”

Only thing he can do is scoff before starting the bike and driving off, tailing the truck closely.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Blue and red lights flash behind them, and a siren starts. They’re so beyond screwed at this point, Kathryn might as well start dialling her dad’s phone number and ask him to pay her bail, because she’s ending the night in jail.

She hangs onto JJ and turns back. “

JJ–

”

“I know, I know!”

He speeds up, coming up right next to the truck’s bed, where Cleo and Pope are holding onto the Cross for dear life. Kathryn holds onto him, not sure what he’s doing, not sure she should trust him either, but she does.

“What are you doing?” Pope screams over the wind and the revving.

“Josh, keep going straight!” is the only answer he gets.

Josh pokes his head from the driver seat. “Pease, be careful!”

JJ drives over the line, nearly colliding into the truck.

“Get ready to jump.”

“

What?

” Kathryn screams in his ear, hoping that he actually lost all functioning brain cells.

“

What?

” Pope shouts at the same time.

“Have you lost your

bloody

mind?”

“Probably! Get ready to jump.”

Kathryn looks back at the truck, where Pope and Cleo are already hanging halfway out, Pope stretching his arms out to catch her.

“Come on, I’ve got you!”

“I’m gonna

fucking

die.”

“You’re not, baby, just focus, okay?” JJ screams, trying to catch her eye and not drive into the truck at the same time.

She winces, and takes in a deep breath. She has no idea what his plan is, but she’d rather not be on the bike for whatever he has in mind. If he thinks it’s too dangerous for two, there’s gotta be a reason she’s not willing to find out.

Kathryn grabs Pope’s arm, shakily sitting as up as she can. JJ is the best goddamn driver known to man, keeping steady as she puts a hand on his shoulder, hoisting herself up to her feet, and lunging forward for Pope.

He catches her, and she collides against the wooden box, landing on the bed.

“

Are you okay?

” Cleo cries out at the same time as Pope.

Kathryn climbs to them, sitting in between. “Yeah.” She looks out to the road, out of breath.

JJ has decreased speed. He breaks abruptly, the bike standing on the front wheel for a good ten seconds, before he halts.

“What’s he gonna do?” Cleo asks, worried.

“I don’t know,” Pope says.

Kathryn swallows around the lump in her throat, squinting her eyes to see. “I don’t think he knows either. I swear, if he gets killed…”

They watch, leaving, as he turns around and drives straight to the police car, before throwing something at it.

The car turns around after him.

“He’s an

idiot

,” she lets out, worry gaining at her stomach. “We have to turn around!”

The three whirl back towards the window, hammering and screaming until Josh effectively stops the truck in the middle of the road, and does a U-turn that nearly sends all of them flying, taking the opposite direction.

Josh drives as fast as he can, until he catches up to JJ, driving on the road parallel to him. They have to take a right to go on, driving under an overpass.

An overpass where JJ is currently driving. A car coming right at him, the cops at his ass. They’re going too fast, the road is too small. Something bad is going to happen.

Kathryn barely has time to scream before she sees the bike crashing over the rail, hears the truck’s tire screech, and smells burnt rubber.

No.

“

No!

”

She nearly shoves at Pope to get off, jumps off the truck, almost breaks her knees. The bike is in pieces in front of her, rubble all over it. There’s no way he could survive that fall. The thought makes her sick, her chest constricts.

“

JJ?

Where is he?”

She screams his name at the overpass, at anyone who wants to hear, the others spreading around the scene, trying to catch a glimpse of him, but nothing. Tears are already spilling down her cheeks.

That can’t be right. This can’t be happening. He’s an idiot, but he wouldn’t

actually

get killed. Right?

Right?

She feels faint. She might pass out.

Josh tries to take her in his arms, but she walks away. “No, no, where’s JJ?”

“Maybe he’s up on the bridge,” Pope tries, clearly not believing what he’s saying.

Kathryn’s breathing, heavy, erratic, makes her see stars, bending over with her hands on her knees, catching a breath that won’t come. Josh rubs her back, but it doesn’t help. She’s transported back to the Coastal Venture, to seeing JJ in the water, face first, and she can’t even join him this time, which might be worse.

They were barely on speaking terms. They

literally

just argued, and if JJ is dead before she gets him back, if he’s dead and she never got to kiss him one last time, Kathryn won’t live with herself. She won’t live, period. She won’t believe it until she sees a body. A

body

, oh god, he can’t be– she never got to kiss him again.

“I wish I could say I did that on purpose,

but

that was the gnarliest powerslide I’ve ever done.”

Kathryn stares at the ground. She can’t believe her ears, but then again.

Of course

. That

bitch

.

JJ is standing three feet away from her, panting, sweating, honestly a whole mess, but he’s breathing and that’s more than she can say for herself. She stands back up straight as Pope runs to his best friend and hugs him, Kie immediately joining him.

Josh holds her shoulder, as she stares, watching as he avoids her gaze and keeps coming back to it, knowing that whatever’s coming, it’s going to be bad. Worse than Sarah pushing at him before tugging him into a hug.

Anger builds up in her. She thinks she might actually kill him.

“The pleasantries are nice, but we should really get out of here,” Pope calls out, running back to the truck.

“Come on, Kat,” Josh whispers at her.

She shrugs his hand away, and stalks over to JJ.

His blue eyes bug out, looking around for someone to help. She’s going to kill him. He survived this to be killed by Kat Darcy, he’s sure of it. This is it.

“Uh, KD, look, uh–”

“

Shut up

.”

Before she can think, Kathryn grabs his cheek and crashes her lips against his.

This wasn’t desire for him. This wasn’t a way to get back at him. This wasn’t revenge, or lust. This was

need

. Kathryn needed to feel JJ against her, needed to feel his lips move against her, the grip immediately coming at her waist, his blonde hair tickling the side of her face.

JJ responds as eagerly, chasing her mouth, following her lead, he always does, clinging to her despite knowing that he shouldn’t. His hands dig into her side, bunching the fabric there. How could he ever go without this? She was intoxicating. He could never get enough.

Kathryn kissed JJ until she convinced herself that he was alive, that she was alive, flush against him, coming back to life in the desperate salty taste of their lips.

She lets go, hands falling at her side, taking a step back, swallowing thickly. They can’t do this. They’re broken up. But…

“I know,” she lets out, through her bruised lips. “I know. I know, it doesn’t…”

JJ looks just about to faint. “It can’t change anything,” he finishes for her.

She nods. “But I needed it.”

He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to. He needed it too. It didn’t fix anything that he had broken. He wished it did. It felt like it could.

Josh clears his throat behind them. “Uh… we have to go.”

Kathryn flinches at his voice, turning around to face him. He doesn’t meet her gaze, feeling too out of place for this whole thing. She feels bad for him, worse for herself, dirty. She’s used him again, and gone back to JJ, despite knowing that she can’t have him.

It’s not fair on anyone.

Josh has a crooked smile. “We have to go.”

“

Hey!

” They look up at the cop, standing on the overpass. “Hey, you kids, don’t move!”

“

Go!

”

JJ tugs at Kathryn’s arms, forcing her back to the truck as Josh climbs in the driver seat. Cleo and Pope take their places back in the bed, Kie, Kathryn and JJ piling in up in the back of the truck.

Josh takes off, driving way over the speed limit, but clearly not fast enough. They stay in silence for about ten minutes of driving aimlessly, as long as it’s away from the police, before he slows down.

The fact that JJ’s thigh is pressed flush against Kathryn’s doesn’t help. Neither does the fact that she’s sitting against his arm, or the fact that she just kissed him like the

idiot

she is. And he kissed back. It all felt too natural.

“Be honest,” Josh starts. “The cops are definitely going to take my truck now.”

JJ rolls his eyes, reaching forward and past Kathryn in the middle seat. “Jeremiah, turn here. Turn here!” He taps his shoulder for emphasis, Josh shoving back.

“Don’t touch the driver! And I have an actual

name

, you know?”

“Look,

Jillian

, just turn around!”

Kathryn yanks his arm back. “Stop distracting him!”

“He said don’t touch the driver!” Sarah adds.

“Then go faster!” Kie defends JJ.

“Think about it, if I go faster, that’s gonna draw attention,” he tells them.

“Yeah, I feel like that ship has sailed at this point,” JJ remarks.

“How does this even work? You guys argue about

absolutely

everything.”

Kathryn licks her lips. “Are we talking about the friend group, or…”

As if to answer them, Cleo starts hammering on the window. “Put the pedal to the metal, boy!” she screams from outside, Pope nodding next to her.

“Maybe put it a

little

bit,” the blonde goes on. “You’re going sixty-five!”

“Okay,

fine.

”

Josh speeds up, clearly not happy about it, clearly not looking where he’s

going

.

He drives over a speed bump. The whole truck shakes.

The Cross falls.

“

Stop!

” Pope screams outside. “We lost the Cross!”

“

Great

, Joelle.”

Kathryn holds her head in her hands. “This is a disaster.”

“Tell me about it,” Kie easily agrees, climbing out.

The teenagers rush outside to make sure the Cross is intact. If they did all of this just to break it at the last moment, someone is going to be

pissed

.

Pope quickly slides off the lid. The group slows down, taking a look inside.

Three jars filled with flour are sitting there, but no damn Cross, that’s for sure.

“What the hell?” Kie lets out.

“What the

fuck?

” Kathryn corrects.

“Shit.” Pope stares at the inside of the crate, shaking his head to himself. “It’s fake. It’s all freaking fate.”

He kneels down next to it, JJ kicking an invisible rock behind him. “Of course, we did. Of course, we stole a fake.”

“

Shut up

, JJ.” Kathryn kneels down next to Pope. “Hey. It’s okay. We’ll have another shot at this.”

She doubts that they will, but it’s not what he needs to hear, right now. Rafe had been one step ahead of them. He

always

was. And once again, Pope was deprived of his birthright, after fighting so hard to get it, and the bitter taste in her mouth was enough to make Kathryn sick, so she couldn’t even

think

about how he was feeling.

All she does is rub his back as he stubbornly stares ahead. JJ puts a hand on his shoulder. Sarah apologises, but nothing more can be done.

For now, Rafe Cameron got the Cross, and they’re all just a bunch of idiots for believing they could win this.

“Guys,” Josh starts softly. “Look, we have to go. I can hear a car coming.”

“Dog, would you

relax?

” JJ spits out, clearly pissed that he’d interrupt

another

moment, standing up. “They’re not gonna think some dude in flip-flops is a part of a robbery.”

“Right, with the crate right next to my truck, that makes so much sense, JJ.”

“

Girls

,” Kathryn hisses back at them, before patting Pope’s back. “Babe, we gotta go.”

Kie nods. “We got to go.”

They pile back into the truck, Cleo tugging Pope with her.

Kathryn sits in the passenger seat, this time. It’s easier on everyone.

Easier, easier, easier

, she keeps chanting in her mind. Safer. After they just risked their lives getting a Cross that wasn’t even there in the first place, Kathryn doesn’t mind safer.

Nothing was ever easy with them. Even this rescue mission had been a nightmare. JJ nearly died for

flour

. And she had

kissed him

, and they were

broken up

, and everything was so messy… That Kathryn really wouldn’t mind safer.

“It didn’t mean anything,” she tells Josh, because it didn’t, and it’s easier to say with her back to JJ.

Yeah.

Safer

. That’s exactly what she needed. Exactly what she can convince herself she needs. She just had to turn a blind eye to the rearview mirror.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn stares at the unopened letter in her hands. The stamped Yale seal leaves very little doubt as to who sent her this. She glares at the seal. The timing couldn’t be

worse

. They’d just lost the Cross. She’d just made a

colossal

mistake, kissing her ex a day after they broke up which, she’s sure, has gotta be against some sort of law.

She looks up at her dad, flanked with Billy and Max. Henry is standing next to her, eyes zoned in on the letter.

“I’m not supposed to get an answer until

December

.”

Edward grins at her. “I know. I called someone, speeded the process up.”

Kathryn doesn’t share his excitement, and finds herself frowning at her dad. “I hope that’s

all

you did.”

“He didn’t buy your way in, I made sure,” Henry tells her, nudging her. “If you do get a positive answer, it’ll be all thanks to you, and only you.”

“You didn’t

have to

. I already know Kathryn can get in on her own, this is just formality.”

Her fingers trail over the letter. “I’m not sure I should open it.”

Billy bristles. “What? But it’s all you’ve been waiting for, Kitty.”

It is. She couldn’t dream of anything else, back on the island. And now that she had it in her hands, she wanted to burn it and never know. She had planned to open it with everyone. But Pope had just lost the Cross, and John B was still MIA with daddy dearest, and well, JJ…

She wanted it to be perfect. And even if she knows now that perfect timing and good reasons and waiting isn’t the answer, it was hard to shake away from things that protected you your whole life.

And, besides…

“I don’t see myself just showing up to the Chât and shoving my letter at them. It’s not exactly the right

time

.”

Max hums. “I think they’ll be happy for you. It’ll get them a bit of happiness, right now. The choice is yours, though.”

She makes a face, and folds the letter, putting it in the back pocket of her low cut jeans, adjusting the burgundy vest she’s wearing in the same movement. “Yeah. John B called for a group meeting either way, I’ll see what I do once I’m there.”

Billy makes a face. “Sure… and then you get back here and tell us, right?”

“You got it.”

Henry shrugs. “Or we can announce it at our engagement party, tomorrow.”

Kathryn’s eye twitches. “Your what when?”

Max blows out a breath. “Yeah, Henry’s been going haywire about it since you came back. It’s a bit

early

, considering we have

nothing

prepared, but he really wants to do it.”

Her uncle is indeed smiling from ear to ear. “Tell your friends to come. I like those kids. When they don’t you know, get you in life threatening situations.”

If Kathryn is a bit

weary

about organising the party, she nods. “Yeah, I’ll tell them. I can help with planning once I get home.”

“It’d be a pleasure, kid.”

Edward kisses the top of his daughter’s head, going back to the previous subject. “Imagine everything you can discover once you’re at Yale. Oh,

imagine

the reputation you have, after finding

El Dorado.

”

Henry glares at his brother. “She doesn’t need to

find

any treasure for that.”

“Of course not.” Still, Edward hands her his diary. “Here. Give it a read, if you want. There’s everything that I know about

El Dorado

in there, which isn’t a lot. In case you need it.”

Kathryn takes it, but gives him a contrite smile. “To be honest, dad, once I’m out of here, I’m out of any gold hunt. I just… I need a break.”

She’s been kidnapped a humiliating amount of time. Had more panic attacks than she can count. Was

stranded

on a deserted island. All of it was worth it for the historical discoveries they made, sure… But Kathryn was getting

tired

. She needed a year off, or two.

Yale was her ticket out. None of her friends knew it yet. Well, maybe one did.

Kathryn was keeping that letter as far away from JJ as she could.

“No problem, Kitten,” he assures her when he sees her fussing over it. “Just keep it, in case it can help your friends.”

She nods, and after one last smile at Henry, who seemed relieved

beyond words

at the fact that she was actually considering dropping her life-threatening antics, leaves for the Château.

Kathryn hasn’t seen Big John since Christmas Eve, 2015. He brought John B over, seeing as he was the only one she would allow in the room after what happened with Rafe, a few weeks prior.

She always thought of him as nice, if not a bit brusque. He used to play-fight with him and JJ a lot, and would grab her hands and make her fly in a circle, which would send Henry into cardiac arrest at the thought of her popping a shoulder. Which she did. Twice.

Going by what she walks in on once she arrives at Château, the man hasn’t changed much.

JJ is on his back, ruffling the man’s hair. He always was like a second dad to him. Or an actual one, at least. Kathryn herself can’t help but smile.

“Hey,” she waves awkwardly at the man, as he sets down the blonde.

The rest of the group is already there, and if Kathryn feels a bit watched, being the last one here, Big John doesn’t seem to mind. His jovial face splits into a grin, before he moves towards her and takes her in his arms, nearly off the ground.

“Kat!” he lets out happily, setting her down. She can’t help but laugh at the man. He had that kind of energy, kinda like Santa. “Look how grown you are, kid! Last time I saw you, you were barely past my hip.”

She tilts her head to the side. “Eh, I’m fairly certain I was taller, but whatever.”

“You still argue though, that’s good,” he laughs. He gives her a very paternal look, patting the top of her head. “You grew up real pretty too. Didn’t she JJ?”

He winks at the teenage boy, who splutters, Kathryn’s cheeks growing redder than the blush she put on. Guess even when they were twelve they weren’t as slick as they thought. Big John merely patted JJ on the back, who looked back at Kathryn with wide eyes, which she ignored on purpose.

“Hey, bug.”

Kathryn turns around to John B, her grin back in an instant. She hasn’t seen him since he ran out, only knew that he was

alive

, which was something, at least. “Hey, John

Bastard

.”

He smiles a little. “Yeah, I deserve that one.”

“Sure do.”

She tugs him into a hug, holding him tight. She feels like it’s been an

eternity

. The letter in her pocket burns her right to the skin.

“Heard about JJ,” he says, his chin on her shoulder. “Got no idea what it was about, but I can rough him up if you want.”

Kathryn could do without the reminder of her fucked up love life, but she’s grateful that he doesn’t tiptoe around it. “Nah. All set. Apparently, we’re friends now.” If you ignore the fact that they kissed…

She parts from him, and frowns a little as she looks up to his hazel eyes. She pushes some brown hair strand away from his forehead. He seems… conflicted. Sad. The tiniest bit frustrated. “What’s up?”

“Uh…” he hesitates, dancing on his feet. “You know, my dad and I are about to tell you everything, so let’s not keep the others waiting.”

“Oh. Okay.”

The group settle in front of the tree that was once John B’s grave, sitting on beach chairs and listening intently.

Apparently, John B and Big John had been on a little adventure on their own trying to find

El Dorado

. They were supposed to find some idol that would show the way, lead them to it. Now, as to why they didn’t tell anyone, she has no idea. Considering it put Mister Sunn, one of Kathryn’s favourite teachers, in the

hospital

, she hoped it’d be worth it. But…

“Yeah, so we, um… we went to the archives in Charleston, and, uh…” John B looks up at his dad as he speaks. “It was… it was a dead end. A dry hole. So…”

Sitting on either side of John B, JJ and Kathryn are watching with the

utmost

care as their best friend speaks. Kathryn drums her fingers on her knees. She’s known this boy since he still peed his pants at night. Since he

barely

had all his teeth out.

Kathryn can tell when the bastard is lying to her face, and so can JJ.

Apparently, they’re the only ones, seeing as Pope immediately goes: “So that’s the gold, the Cross, and now

El Dorado

. We’re three-for-three, guys.” He throws his beer can away. “The streak continues.”

The group slowly thins out, Kie, Pope and Cleo going home, leaving John B with JJ, Kathryn, and Sarah, and frankly, not one of the three seems to be buying whatever he’s saying.

Kathryn fiddles with the letter, in her back pocket. She knew this had been a bad time anyway.

She’s not sure why they wait around, but they do, as if John B would start spilling what

actually

happened. Why would he lie in the first place? Kathryn doesn’t want to force him to say anything, he’s supposed to be her best friend. He’ll tell her when he needs to. If he doesn’t, now… her stomach feels tight. She hates the idea.

Why would she lie? Why would he feel like he had to?

JJ stands up, slightly pissed off, she can tell by the tightness in his shoulders. “I’m going fishing. Thanks for the beer.”

Kathryn follows after him. “Yeah. See you later, John B.”

Her fingers graze the letter, again. Whatever’s written on there, she has the feeling she won’t get that peace any time soon.

🍓

Later that day, Kathryn paces in front of Heyward’s shop. She figures if she can’t break the news to the group, she might as well break it to Pope, right? Since John B is apparently

lying

to her, Pope is probably her best bet at having a good reaction to getting into Yale. If she got in.

She knows he went to school, that day. He’d told her that he’d try to get back into it, and she wished him luck. Kathryn had more than enough advance and credit points for university, highschool had always been a formality, and frankly, she didn’t see herself going back, not yet.

Which leads to her, sitting lamely in front of the shop, waiting for him to show up, the letter safely tucked in her pocket.

When he comes striding along, she jumps to her feet. “Hey Pope–”

“Wait, Kat, I need to pick up slack for Heyward.” She bristles. “Just follow me if you wanna speak.”

“Right, right, coming.”

Cleo outside, through the back door, waiting for him, too. She waves warmly at Kathryn, who gestures back. Well, two for one. That’s not half bad for her announcement, is it?

Kathryn would whip her letter out, if Pope didn’t pick up the broom with that much violence, if he didn’t seem that pissed off.

She leaves it in her pocket. Not the right time. “Pope, babe, you look like shit.”

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause I quit school.”

Definitely

not the right time.

Cleo stares at him, dumbfounded. “You did

what?

”

“Quit school,” he repeats.

Right. They just entered some alternate universe where Pope doesn’t want to become a coronary, makes sense now. At least a whole lot more than him

giving up

on school.

“What the hell, Pope?” she cries out, trying not to sound as harsh as she’s worried. “You had your scholarship, and everything!”

“Yeah, I lost it.”

She purses her lips, not accepting defeat that easily. “Okay, well, I still got that money–”

“It’s no use, Kat. I lost all my old classes. I’ll be lucky if I even

passed

the grade.” He scoffs. “My transcript is ass. Everything I had going for me,

gone

. And do you know

why

I’m screwed? Because I tried to do the right thing. I tried to help John B with his treasure, to get my family’s inheritance back, and do you know what I got for it? Kicked in the dirt. It’s over. I’m done.”

This whole thing is surreal. Pope’s entire future is about school, university. That’s what he always wanted. “That’s what you do, Pope, the right thing,” she starts. “That’s not a bad trait, that’s why we–”

“

Pope!

”

“Besides, it's not like you can just

give up

like that!” Cleo goes on, not particularly caring for the scream.

“Yo!” JJ runs in, panting. “Bombshell.”

Kathryn is still grappling with what Pope says, as she stares back at him. “Dude, why are you soaking wet?”

JJ, from head to toe, is

drenched

. He looks like he just came out of the sea.

He seems equally as surprised, looking at the three of them. “What’s going on? What happened? Detecting a real heavy vibe. What’s going on?”

“Pope’s quitting school,” Cleo tells him.

“Being a coroner’s kind of weird anyway.”

“Shut–”

“Shut up, wrench dick,” Pope lets out before Kathryn can.

“Right, great. So it’s definitely not the time for this. Okay, shit.”

Kathryn groans. “Just spit it out!”

“So I was down at Guffy’s, all right,” he explains, still panting. “I was trying to get my job back. And I see the catty across the way, and on it…” He catches his breath. “...is Rafe and Barry.”

She closes her eyes, shakes her head. “Oh, I’m not in the mood for more Rafe Cameron news.”

“Well, get this anyway. I sneak over to hear what they’re talking about. Pope, he has the Cross. And he melted it down.”

The news drops like a stone in the ocean. Everything they had worked for,

gone

. In an instant. Pope’s family heirloom, from his great grand-mother, the only thing that still kept him going… melted.

Kathryn pales. “He

what?

Does he have any idea what kind of historical value it has? Fucking – not to mention emotional, and…” Pope stands up, shaking his head. “Pope…?”

“

Fuck!

” he screams out to the ocean, like it’ll wash another treasure over to him.

Kathryn has known for a long time that the ocean isn’t so merciful.

He turns around, pacing now, angry.

“Of course it was Rafe.”

“Yeah, I mean, we probably could’ve guessed that.”

“I thought we all knew it was,” Kathryn lets out, not bragging, just confused. “He was talking of selling the Cross to Singh, he was the one who had it.”

“The Cross of Santo Domingo,

desecrated!

” Its owner cries out. “For money?

God!

”

He picks up the broom. “I know,” JJ says. “I think we need to stay calm to make a plan, but we got to stay–”

Pope breaks the wood in two. Kathryn blinks. “Okay.” Bit much, but she can’t exactly blame him.

“This is

messed up

, man,” he grounds out. “Even for them!”

He really isn’t one to raise his voice at anything, ever. And if Kathryn can understand his heartbreak, she doesn’t want another Cameron to win over them.

“They break things, Pope, that’s what they do.”

“They’re just gonna keep getting away with it. They’re gonna keep doing that shit. Gonna keep winning.”

“I mean, Pope, is that news to you?” JJ asks him.

“

No

. But I’m sick of being the good guy.”

He walks away, breaking into a jog as Cleo calls after him. The three stand like this for a while, staring at the spot where Pope just disappeared. In a single afternoon, he had lost just about everything, and Kathryn’s letter was burning a hole through her pocket.

“He’s gonna make a mistake,” she lets out, sitting on a bench.

Cleo makes a face. “Nah… whatever he says, he’s a good guy.”

“Rafe Cameron has a tendency to burn that out in people,” she reminds them. “I won’t quote the obvious example.”

JJ sits next to her, looking over at her face, carefully crafted to appear calm, which she definitely was not. She was

angry

. He could tell. Angry that Rafe had managed to slither his way through the group and hurt someone else.

“You think Pope would turn bad?”

She looks back at him. “I think I didn’t turn out so well.”

Most of all, Kathryn thinks she can’t ever open that letter. If she gets in, and she has to leave them, she’ll never forgive herself. They

need

her. She’s their friend. Now is not the time to fuck off in another state. It’ll never be time.

No matter what the letter said, Kathryn was a Pogue first and foremost. She couldn’t leave.

She couldn’t shake the feeling of being trapped.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

With Pope gone, the three of them decided to pick up some of his work around the shop, so that at least, his parents won’t be on his ass. Whatever happens, whatever road he went down, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about that.

From time to time, Kathryn brushes the tip of the letter, peeking from her pocket. As if to reassure herself that it was still here, even if she couldn’t use it. Her very own ticket out of here.

“Well, I appreciate the help, you guys,” Misses Heyward tells them, cooking on her barbecue.

She offered to cook for them, after their hard work. And, well… “You know I ain’t missing Misses Heyward’s cooking,” JJ says, wiping the table.

Kathryn snorts, putting the plates down. “Oh, we know.” He makes a face at her. “What he means is ‘thank you.’”

“You’re welcome. Very polite, unlike my derelict son,” Misses Heyward remarks. “He’s usually here by now.” JJ tries to get a piece of chicken, but she slaps his hand off.

“I’m sure he’ll be back any second, Misses Heyward,” Cleo tells her.

Kathryn hums. “He better be, or I’m eating everything.”

“Any one of y’all moved the pistol from in there? The one I keep under the register?”

Heyward comes stomping from the shop, gesturing back inside. The trio stares at him, and then at each other. Surely… Everytime Kathryn starts a sentence with that word, she has to assume the very worst.

“

JJ?

”

Surprised, JJ holds up his hands. “Whoa, okay. I didn’t touch it, okay?”

“Yeah, well, somebody did.

‘Cause it’s gone!

”

He opens his mouth again, but Kathryn beats him to it, shaking her head, crossing her arms. “If JJ says it wasn’t him, then it wasn’t, Heyward.”

Hypocritical, considering he just stole money from her dad. But in that case, she could squint and understand the motive. Her mom knew how to get under people’s skin. JJ had no reason to steal that gun. She trusts him on that.

But she knows someone who does.

He inhales sharply, looking back at his wife. “You see? I…

Dang it

. I gotta find it.”

The Heywards go back inside, the teenagers immediately consulting themselves.

“It’s him,” Kathryn says.

Cleo smacks her lips. “Are you sure?”

“Cleo, I know what Rafe does to people.” She risks a look at JJ, who was already looking at her. “

I

tried to kill him myself. We’ve got to find him.”

JJ nods. “I’ll check Tannyhill.”

“I’ll take the Cut,” Cleo says.

Kathryn is already walking away. “I’ve got the marina.”

🍓

It’s night, when Kathryn gets to the very last part of the marina. She’s been searching high and low, even getting on some of the closer boats, just to make sure that he wasn’t hiding in one. She freaked some tourons off. But at least, they didn’t call the cops…

By the time she can’t see any further than her own feet, she finds him, sitting at the end of a dock. In front of Rafe Cameron’s catamaran.

Pointing a gun at him.

Even from that far, Kathryn can tell that it’s a clear shot. If Pope puts his mind to it, he could kill Rafe Cameron. Just like she could have. Just like she still could.

She licks her lips, heart hammering in her chest. The only person she ever had to talk out of ending someone’s life, was herself. And she failed.

That’s what got her here in the first place.

“Pope.” He flinches, acknowledging her. “Pope, come on. You don’t want to do this.” He stays silent. She swallows thickly. “I’m not saying you won’t feel better, but that won’t last.”

She’d know. Pounding into Rafe, caving his face in, she had loved it. Deliriously so.

A second later, she had hated herself.

“I don’t care,” he croaks out.

Kathryn inhales deeply, wiping her clammy hands on her jeans. “Right now, you don’t. But what happens when your mum and dad have to watch you be taken away? What would they say, then?”

He sobs a little, breathing heavily, gun starting to shake. “I think they would udnerstand how I feel. For once, he would lose like we always do.” He sniffles. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ve lost everything.”

Kathryn blinks, and sees herself, towering over a bleeding Rafe, his throat between her hands, squeezing the life out. She felt good, at that moment. She felt powerful, like she’d regain control. But she hadn’t. She was losing it, and Rafe was winning.

She sits down next to Pope, shoulder to shoulder.

“Pope, believe me when I say I know how you feel,” she says, as calm as she can, staring out at Rafe, oblivious on his boat. “I don’t think anyone wants Rafe dead more than I do. But if you do that, if you kill him, you let him win. You’ll go to jail and your life will be destroyed. I’ve told you. That’s what he does. He destroys things.”

Slowly, her hand reaches up to the gun. Pope sobs against her, still not letting go.

“You have a lot to lose, Pope,” she says as softly as she can. “A lot of things are still whole. A lot of things are waiting for you. Your family, your home. Cleo, our friends. I know it feels like it, that Rafe took something from you, but it wasn’t

everything

.”

Pope doesn’t answer, but she sees his finger on the trigger shake. She tugs a little.

“He took your inheritance. Don’t let him take your life from you, too.”

Pope slumps against her, crying. The gun clatters to the ground. Kathryn catches him easily, wrapping her arms around him, rubbing his back.

JJ had said it to her, once. She had laughed in his face, of course. ‘Don’t let her kill you too,’ he’d said, about her mother, and she didn’t fully get it until now, until she held Pope’s shaking form.

Caroline nearly forced Kathryn to change into something she was not. Rafe had done the same to Pope, put him against the wall, with seemingly no other way.

Change can be murder. A bullet could kill two.

“It’s okay,” she soothes, kissing the top of his head. “Breathe through it, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

And she always will. Because that’s how it would always go. Whenever someone would mess with Pope, she’d be here. That included himself.

He’d stopped her from killing Rafe, back at the hangar, months ago. She just had to return the favour.

🍓

Kathryn left Pope in safe hands. That is, Cleo’s. She’s not a fool. She knows that look you get, when you like a friend. Besides, she knows she’ll handle Pope. He’ll be okay, with her. She’ll take care of him.

All the people Rafe broke were meant to be put back together.

She parks her car in the Palace driveway, and climbs out. She takes the letter out of her pocket. Now’s as good a time as any, right? Even if she was alone, at least, she’d have her answer. Her friends clearly had bigger things to do, things to be worried about. They weren’t exactly

normal

kids. She’d been stupid to think that she’d find a time to get them all together. Hell… John B was lying to her, now.

If she hadn’t been there tonight, if she had been in Yale, what would have happened? She would love to think that Pope would have snapped out of it himself, but she can’t be

sure

. What good would it get her, seeing Yale’s answer, if she knew she wasn’t going there?

“What’s that?”

She nearly jumps out of her skin, looking back at the porch. Sitting on the steps, his elbows on his knees, JJ looks back at her.

She shoves the letter back in her pocket, confused. “Uh… I thought I texted you. Pope’s back home, with Cleo. Crisis averted.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got your text.”

Kathryn walks over to him, slowly, until she stands in front of him and he has to properly look up at her. “So what are you doing here?”

“I was on the way to the Chât.”

She arches a brow at him. “Okay. Why are you on my stairs?”

“Well, first off, mister H will kill me if I put one foot inside your house.” She snorts, rolling her eyes at him. “I saw you.”

“That explains a lot, thanks, JJ.” She frowns. “Saw me what?”

“Fidgeting with that shit in your pocket, all day. What is it?”

She tries not to think about the fact that JJ noticed. Why is she still surprised? He always notices, every last little detail. If she just showed it to him, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, would it? She doesn’t picture JJ forcing her to leave, to go anywhere.

Letting out a long sigh, she sits on the stairs next to him, bumping into him as she fishes for the letter. She hands it to him.

He takes half a second to realise. “

Yale?

I thought you wouldn’t know until December.”

“So did I. Well, to be fair, I thought I wouldn’t know period, considering we were stranded.” She bites her lip, suddenly nervous. “My dad pulled a few strings.” JJ looks up at her, alarmed. “

Only

to speed it up, Henry checked.”

He stares at it, turning it over in his hand. “Why didn’t you open it?”

She felt a little silly, admitting all of this out loud, but the fact that it was him helped. “I wanted everyone to be here,” she says. “But Kie’s on lockdown, Pope tweaked, and John B’s definitely lying to us.” JJ nods, huffing slightly. She shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just never open it.”

That thought seems out of the question for him. “Are you kidding? Kat, you have to.” She looks away. “What is it?” he asks, searching for her gaze. “You scared they won’t accept you?”

She gathers her knees to her chest, shrugging again. “I’m scared they will.”

“Uh… you lost me.”

Kathryn turns back to him, a sad smile on her lips. “Yale’s my way out, JJ. I’ve been thinking of stepping out of all this, because, really, I’m burning out. I’m like a kid chasing after every wave, and it’s tiring. I don’t know how long I can keep this up.” She looks off again. “But I can’t just… walk out on you guys. That’s not fair either.”

JJ follows her gaze. He doesn’t say anything, for a moment, but she doesn’t need him to. She knows he understands. Talking to him is easy. Being with him, is easy. Not safe by any account.

Easy like a routine. Warm like a campfire. Everything smelled like the sun.

“I can open it for you.”

She looks back at him, dubious. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “I mean, if you want to open it now. I know it’s just me.”

Her gaze softens. “Yeah. Sure. Go ahead.”

He opens the letter, and makes sure to unfold it away from her inquisitive gaze, making her chortle a little at his theatrics. He readds the first line.

JJ’s face looks grave. Her stomach drops.

“What? JJ, what is it?”

He stammers. “Kat… look, we have time, right? You were in advance anyway.”

“

What?

” She can’t get

rejected, can she?

“Give me that!”

She never thought of what would happen if she got rejected from Yale. Where would she go? It was only Yale, no other option. She really,

really

wanted to go there. She

had to

. And to say she’d been worried about–

She reads the first line.

JJ is smirking. “Well, at least now you know what you want, right?”

Kathryn stares back at him, face flat. “You’re

not

funny.”

His face splits into a smile. “I am.”

“You’re

not

.”

He laughs, and she hates to admit that she exhales a chuckle too, staring at the letter. She rereads it, to make sure. There’s no doubt. They have the pleasure to welcome her in 2021.

Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy got into Yale. By September of next year, she’ll be gone.

She’ll be gone

.

And she’s laughing. Smiling, tears at the corner of her eyes. Laughing because she can’t believe it. She worked hard for this, and it paid out, despite everything. She got what she wanted, the major she wanted, everything.

“I got in.”

He grins back at her. “You got in baby!”

He hugs her, and she lets him, the letter hanging behind his neck as she exhales another breathy chuckle. His arms wrap themselves around her shoulders, bringing her closer, holding her as tight as he can.

Her ticket out, out of the gold hunt, out of this whole thing that kept bringing her down. The break she so desperately wanted. She’ll text them everyday, when she’s there. And she’ll help if they need anything, of course. And it’s not like they’ll forget her, she’ll come home on holiday. And… if they really need her to come… if they’re in a tough spot…

She’ll be miles away. With everything she ever wanted.

It’s not until JJ rubs her back that she realises she’s crying.

“It’s silly,” she says when she leans back. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

JJ has that lopsided smile that makes her heart tight in her chest. He wipes her tears with his thumbs, softly. “It’s okay.”

She nods, sniffling. “Yeah.”

“Kat.”

She looks up at him, at the shade of blue eyes she still paints in her dreams, that still haunt her wherever she goes. He knows, why she’s crying. He always does.

“We’ll be fine, when you go.” He takes her hand. “And so will you.”

Her heart swells, she feels like crying again, but she just leans against his forehead, forgetting that she vowed never to cry in front of him again. It was JJ, and he would always make her vulnerable, she couldn’t help that. She never could. Fighting against it had been stupid. Fighting against him had been stupid.

She chuckles, leaning back, wiping her tears. “And it’s not until a long time, right? Like, nearly a whole year.”

He nods, thumbing his ring on her finger. “Yeah, no, we have plenty of time to get shot at again.”

She snorts. She’s not sure he’s wrong. But then again, now, she had a way out. An actual one. It scared her. She’d never been so excited.

When she opens her eyes, she takes in every detail of JJ’s still face. The sad frown on his eyebrows but the tugged up corner of his lips. The slope of his nose, and the dimple that creases his right cheek. She drinks everything in, marks it in her brain. She ends with his eyes, shining under the streetlights. She always liked his eyes.

She gestures back to the door. “I’m gonna head in. Henry’s probably wondering where I am, by now.”

JJ nods. “Yeah, sure.”

“Thanks,” she says. “For the letter. And the rest.”

He looks at her. Studies her, really. His gaze had always been piercing. Before he can convince himself that it’s not a good idea, he kisses her cheek.

“Good night, KD.”

JJ stands up, and she has to take a moment to think about what to say, taken aback.

“Hey, I never said you could call me that again!” Her voice comes out high-pitched, amused, not at all angry in the slightest.

He turns around, extending his arms. “I like to live dangerously.”

“Idiot.”

A year. A year, and she’d be done. That meant she wasn’t done

yet

. Kathryn had some fight left in her. But definitely

not

for any gold. She’d fight tooth and nail, and try as hard as she can, but there was no treasure for her, at the end of the road.

Kathryn won’t stop until she gets JJ back.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn hasn’t been able to sleep. Either her brain is all scramble at the mere thought of getting into Yale, or she hasn’t had a decent night sleep since… Well, she’s not going to spell it out for you, but it’s hard to readjust to sleeping alone when you are used to having a weight on your chest at all times of the night.
At least she uses her time right.“Why are you up? It’s like, five AM. That’s a bit early for you.”She turns around to look at Henry, and holds up her letter in answer. “I got in!”Henry grabs the letter and gives it a once over, before shaking her shoulder and letting out the quietest shout she’d ever heard. “I’m so proud of you, kid. Even if I had like, zero doubts.”“Thanks,” she grins back. Then, she holds out her dad’s journal. “I’ve been doing homework in preparation.”He sits down heavily on the couch next to her. “What does that mean? Give me very broad strokes.”“Well I was just reading through dad’s journal, and while there are some theories about El Dorado and Denmark Tanny, I really like what he wrote on Kalinago.”“Broader strokes?”“Native American tribe in Venezuela. The dialect is very complicated, barely translated, but… ” She shows him some of the sigils her father has drawn. “Dad translated a bit of words. You can see some resemblances between them. Like here, look.” Her fingers trail over them. “This is ‘home,’ and this is ‘friends,’ and this one looks a bit like them combined, so I think it’s ‘family.’ But , what I like most is the way they work together. The order of words determines if it’s a verb, or a subject, or an adjective, and your eyes are really blank right now.”Henry stares at her. “You’re smarter than me, kid. I have no idea what you’re talking about, but Yale better watch out.”“I just like to see how words work together. Dad was more focused on making sure the result fitted the sigils he found. He was working backwards and shoehorning in some weird meanings… Which is still good, but not how I’d do it.”He huffs. “Well, if you manage to stick it up to Edward, I’m in.”“Where is he, by the way?” she asks, closing the journal and her notepad. “He left right after me, and hasn’t come back.”“You might be your brother’s keeper, but I sure as shit ain’t.”She blinks at him. “‘Mkay. That was a lot of emotions.”“Yeah, that’s because I should be asleep, but no, I’m waiting on my baby brother. I was planning on waiting for him to come back angrily.” He sighs. “I just hope he can make it to the party tonight.”“He will,” Kathryn promises without the shadow of a doubt.Henry seems dubious. “Well. In any case, you mind picking up some stuff at the Wreck this morning? For the reception.”“Sure thing, Henry.”Kathryn had sent a text inviting the Pogues, but so far, no one had answered. Probably because of the current time . But still. She also planned on talking to JJ as soon as she could. Say what? She doesn’t know, but she hopes she’ll get inspiration. She can trust herself on that.“Why were you looking for Edward?” Henry asks her, tilting his head.
She gulps. She’d planned to give him his money clip back and explain that JJ had just reacted badly, overshot, most likely. Maybe she could try telling Henry first, test the waters…She slowly takes it out of her back pocket. “JJ… swiped that, when mum was here. I think he just flipped. He hasn’t said he’s sorry, but I know he is.”Henry stares at the money clip, completely dumbfounded. “Jesse James stole from your dad?”“As a, like, ‘well if I’m a thief, might as well,’ moment.” Kathryn looks away. “I think coming back here has been rough on him.”He looks back at her, the slightly worried look on her face, the way she keeps playing with JJ’s ring on her thumb. Henry might not be the most emotionally intelligent man on the planet, but he could see that his niece was still in love with JJ. And, to be fair, Henry found it hard to hold anything against the kid.
It made sense, that he’d nick the money clip from Edward. Henry himself didn’t grow up exactly well . He didn’t steal, but he knew the urge to prove everyone right, to prove that he could be worse than what they expected.He takes the money clip, and puts it back on the table. “Edward won’t say a thing,” he promises. “I’ll talk to him.”Kathryn frowns at him. “You’re not mad?”“I mean, I’m sure you already gave him a stern talking to.” Yeah, with tongue . “You’re right. He’s been weird since that night. But he’s still a nice kid.”“I knew you liked him.”He holds up a finger. “But don’t go telling him that. I still haven’t forgotten when I caught him sleeping on you.” He gags. “Oh god. War flashbacks.”She giggles, pushing her uncle, shaking her head. “You’re dramatic, you know that?”“Coming from you? ”But memories are already plaguing Kathryn, and the way JJ held her in his sleep, like she was going to leave him, sneaked up on her. It was ironic. She wasn’t the one who left, in the end.They settle down after a moment. Kathryn scratches her knee. “I miss JJ. Is that weird? He’s literally here , and we sorta still have something. But I miss him.”Henry put an arm around his niece, rubbing her back. “He’ll come ‘round, kid. I’m sure he will.”🍓“I am so excited you have no idea,” Kie tells Kathryn with a grin. “I have this top that crosses over my chest, it’ll look cute with the skirt I took from you.”Kathryn arches a brow at her. “The skirt you took from me?”“The one you lended me that I’m never giving back, duh .” She snorts. “I swear, this is the first official outing I can have without my parents breathing down my neck, you’ve blessed me.”“No, I know, I try.”Kie checks a few items off of the list Kathryn gave her for her uncles’ reception. “Still no news from JJ?”“ Or John B,” she nods. “But I’m sure they’ll turn up.”“They better.” She sighs, and hands her the list back, suddenly dead serious. “Kat, I really wanted to thank you.”Kathryn, who isn’t particularly sure why she’s being thanked, blinks at her friend. “You’re welcome?”Kie makes a face at her. “We haven’t exactly had time to really talk, with everything, and…” She shrugs. “I dunno. Thank you. And JJ. For not telling anyone else that I…”When Kathryn realises that Kie almost expected the pair to tell the rest of their friends that she had been in love with Sarah and was, to a certain level, attracted to girls, she nearly falls off her stool.
“Kie, we weren’t just about to scream it to the world?”“I don’t know how people are meant to react. I don’t even know…” she trails off. “I still don’t know.”“That’s okay.” Kathryn pats her hand. “We’ll all be here once you figure it out.”She smiles, fondly, before it turns a little snarky. “Maybe I’ll throw a party. If my parents jump off my ass.”“You know, that’s actually not–”Kathryn’s voice dies down in her throat.
Sitting, happily enjoying breakfast, Sarah and Topper are looking extremely comfy a little further down the Wreck. Holding hands, even. Kie’s eyes trail after Kathryn’s, and she immediately puts a hand on her shoulder.“Kat.”“ Topper . Really? It had to be Topper?” She turns back to her friend. “What is she doing with him?”She knows her and John B aren’t exactly in the brightest moment of their relationship, or at least, she can guess with the way John Bastard has been acting, but that’s just… Everytime Kathryn catches a glimpse of Topper, she loses years off her life.
When Sarah realises that Kie and Kathryn are staring at her, she pales, and tries to hide. Something sinks in Kathryn’s stomach. She couldn’t have seriously… She hopes Sarah didn’t, because if she did , Kathryn has to learn surgery and a way to remove fallopian tubes to strangle her with them.Kie just shakes her head, nearly dragging her friend out. “Come on.”“It’s weird,” Kathryn says, following her out begrudgingly. “I’m not tripping, am I?”“ No , that’s why I dragged you out.”“Good. Sensible.”They’re barely halfway down the street before Sarah screams out after them, calling their names. She doesn’t know about Kie, but Kathryn figures that the blonde should know better than to try to explain anything to them right now.“Topper and I were just getting breakfast,” she starts.Kie shakes her head. “It’s none of our business.”“You don’t want to make it my business, that’s for sure,” Kathryn groans, Kie pinching her.“No, that’s it, just breakfast,” Sarah promises, but the hurried way she says it makes her think the exact opposite. “You should join if you want to!”“I’d rather kill myself, actually. Like I know for a fact it’d be less painful.”“ Yo , Kat, Kie!”Kie’s face scrunches up in disgust as Topper jogs over to them, Kathryn visibly growing redder with anger, fingers twitching with the hem of her shirt. Sarah should be remorseful if only for subjecting her to Topper’s presence.
Kathryn tries to get ahold of herself. Sarah’s a great girl. She wouldn’t cheat on John B, and especially not with Topper. And if she did, she knows better than to chase after her. She trusts that she at least has some sort of self preservation.
“ Yo, Top ,” Kie lets out dryly.
Kathryn looks back at Sarah. “You have ten seconds to explain yourself before I claw his balls out.”“I had nowhere to go last night,” she hushers before Topper reaches them. “Cleo’s at Pope’s. I couldn’t find JJ. I tried yours– John B and I got into, like, a thing. I’m – he found me and took me to Mase with a group of people.”Kie frowns. “Okay, so you bring him to the Wreck on a Saturday?”Kathryn hates where this is going, and she hates it even more that Kie herself seems to think Sarah capable of it. As a reminder, she’s in love with the girl.
The benefit of the doubt , Kathryn tells herself. She’ll start kicking and screaming when said doubt is gone. It’s waving at her from the door, though.“What’s up?” Topper exclaims when he arrives, holding his fist up. “Random, right?”Kathryn stares at his hand. “It’s like you want me to break it.” He retreats.“Look, we’re just gonna leave,” Kie tells them, grabbing her friend by the arm again. “We don’t want to impose. We have to set up Henry and Max’s party anyway.”“I want to impose. I want to impose my hand across his frat boy face.”“I know, that’s why we’re leaving, Kat, keep up.”As they start walking again, Sarah holds up a finger. “You know what? I’m gonna go too.”This is a colossally bad move on her part. This is like, handing the Darcy a gun and expecting her not to shoot at Topper.
Kathryn turns to Kie. “If what I think happened, did happen, don’t hold me back.”“How about you promise not to rip her head off instead?”“That’s dull.”“ Real helpful, Kat.”Topper is still grappling with the fact that Sarah is leaving him. “How are you gonna smother your hunger?”Kathryn and Kie stare at each other again. “I need this to end.”“Yeah, we’re leaving.”“Topper, I’m going with Kie and Kat. But thank you.” She kisses his cheek. “I’ll call you.”They stare, arms crossed, as Topper leaves, and Sarah turns back to them. They look like the very picture of aggravation, though one seems disappointed and the other irate. Good cop, bad cop. Except the bad cop is looking up cliff notes about fallopian surgery.
Kie shakes her head. “Sarah, what are you doing?”Kathryn scoffs. “She means what the fuck are you doing, actually.”Sarah looks away. “I don’t know.”“Well, figure it out before this goes to shit.”They walk back to the Country Club, in silence. Even if John B has been lying to all of them, Kathryn is still holding onto the hope that he has his reasons. Worse, even if he was the worst human being on the planet, she doesn’t see a way out of this argument with Sarah and her remaining friends. It was a no-brainer. If she had to pick someone’s side, it was going to be John B’s. Bug and Bee, that’s just how it went.Sarah was a good friend. She was a great friend even! But John B, well… he was her brother. There’s nothing she wouldn’t do for him. There’s nothing she hasn’t done . And if she was right, well, even on principle, Sarah was wrong . Not that it would matter.Kathryn would always be her brother’s keeper.
“Fess up, Cameron,” she asks, leaning against the wall.The girls are sitting outside. Well, Kie and Sarah are. Kathryn can’t stop moving. Her fists are clenching and unclenching, going back and forth being determined to kill Sarah on the spot, or being nice to her, because she was the only one who was there for her, when she came back on this island.
Sarah gulps, actual despair in her brown eyes. “It’s actually so embarrassing. He caught me slugging beer at the Tiki Bar .”Kie snorts. “You weren’t.”“Yeah… shot drinking.”She makes a face. “I’m not judging.”“I wouldn’t blame you if you were.”Kathryn arches a brow. “Cool, ‘cause I am.”“And then a couple kids from KCD rolled up, and they were already going to Mase. And then… I kissed him.”There’s a beat of confusion. Then, as if on cue, both girls turn to Kathryn. She pushes herself off of the wall, heart hammering in her chest. She knew that this was what it was about. She already knew, so why was she surprised?
“Excuse me?”Sarah looks like a beaten puppy. “Do you hate me?”“Well I don’t very much like you at the moment, yeah.”Kie harbours nearly the same expression. “Kat, c’mon.”“‘C’mon’ what? ” She points a finger at Sarah, growing angrier by the second. “She cheated on John B!” She grounds her teeth, taking in a shaky breath for the sake of their friendship. “Sarah, if you wanted to break up with him for his recent behaviour, I wouldn’t have blamed you. But cheating? ”She winces. “I don’t want to be broken up.”“ Oh! Oh, this just makes it that much better then. No, you'd rather suck face with your bleached tip boy toy instead, but keep John B near, just in case. Gotcha.”She runs a hand down her face. This cannot be happening. Not today , of all days. Sarah had got to know better! Kathryn already feels betrayed by her actions, because Topper, really? The guy was like a goddamn skeeter you couldn’t get rid of, always buzzing in your ear. Out of all people…“Look, ever since the island everything has felt so abnormal…” Sarah says, quietly. “And it just felt nice to feel something normal again. I’m a mess. I feel like such a mess.”“What, because you fucked up real bad?”“Kat,” Kie sighs, shaking her head.
Her voice is tired, drawn. Maybe it’s why Kathryn clenches her jaw, instead of ripping Sarah’s pretty blonde hair out. Kie, as far as the Pogues are concerned, had always been middle ground. Kathryn always trusted her to tell her when she was going too far. And why she was going too far.
“I think we’re all a little messed up,” Kie says. “You, me, Kat–”“Wrong.”“–JJ.”She scoffs. JJ stole from her dad. And once upon a time, it would have been blasphemy. The highest offence against the god she worshipped. But Kathryn had let that go. She had no idea how, but she did.
Because Kie was right. She was messed up too. She’s been looking for normal, too . She thought she’d found it with Josh, for a moment, before she was laughing on her porch with JJ, and he kissed her cheek.
She can attest that she had made mistakes with Josh, too. She’d lead him on, a lot. Too much. Made him think that he had a shot with her was enough to make her feel sick when she thought back on it.
But she would never have kissed him. Not even now. Her whole being recoils at the idea. She pictures JJ cheating on her, and feels sick. The thought alone is enough to drive her up against the wall, so knowing that Sarah knowingly did this to John B?
Kie was still staring at her.Sarah had gone through so much in so little time. They all had, it was normal to make mistakes at this point. It was bound to happen.
JJ said the same thing about breaking up with her.
Instead of blowing up at Sarah, and strangling her like she promised she would, Kathryn looks away. “Sarah, you fucked up,” she repeats. “Okay? I’m not sugarcoating that for you. I understand why, to a certain level, but I will not be okay with it. You cheated on my brother. I’m not going to like you for a good, long while.”
Sarah’s eyes fill up with tears that Kathryn is too angry to see. But that was always how Kathryn was. There were offences not to make, lines not to cross. JJ got a pass because she was in love with him. Stupidly, but she was.
Worse, maybe, Sarah understood. Kathryn was John B’s best friend, she didn’t expect her to react kindly. In fact, she needed her not to. She needed her to tell her that she’d messed up, to snap out of it. Someone to give her a glimpse of reality. She had cheated on her boyfriend, her

husband

, if they went into the thick of things. She had no right to expect nothing else but disappointment and anger.

Sarah needed to see both, to realise what she was doing, what she was giving up, what she was breaking. Nothing ‘normal’ was worth this. Kathryn knew that now, and so did she.
Besides, she needed time before looking at Sarah and not picturing her kissing Topper. And she would rather do without that image.“If you ever want to talk to me again, and I mean it, Sarah, you tell John B. As soon as he gives signs of life, you tell him. Or I will.”
Kie looked frustrated by her choice, but she couldn’t disagree. Kathryn could have been worse. Kathryn could have been much worse. She was surprised that blows hadn’t landed yet, to be fully honest.She sighs. “I’m gonna put up some decorations inside. I can’t do this right now, it’s my uncles’ engagement party tonight.”She needs tonight to be perfect. That’s on the foreground, before everything. The rest could be put on pause for a little while, at least. Tonight was for Henry and Max.Sarah nods once, Kie patting her knee. Kathryn walks away towards the door with long strides, determined to get her head out of whatever that image of Sarah and Topper was. She had kissed him. Him? She turns around abruptly.“And don’t you dare cause a scene at their party!”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

This party is not going to be what Kathryn planned. It’s already crawling under her skin, frustration boiling her stomach. Everything she had put in place, down to the last little detail – she could feel it come apart.
Cleo and Pope couldn’t come, for something Denmark Tanny related. Pope said he’d tell her more, but she didn’t ask. Edward texted that he wouldn’t make it, and Henry had to go through the first part of the reception alone. Well, with Max, but without his resuscitated brother.
John B and JJ still weren’t answering her texts. They got progressively more threatening as the day went. As often, if neither one of them was answering, it meant that they were together. Doing what? She was scared to ask, to be fully honest.
Which meant that as of right now, Kie and Kathryn were drinking alcohol-free drinks – Henry nearly had her head when she tried to get anything else – and clearly bemused by the whole ordeal.“Can we blame Pope?” Kie asks, playing with her straw. “I mean, it is his legacy, and all that.”“I’m trying not to,” Kathryn says. “I just wish something else would prioritise, for once. Not even me, but last I checked, you guys loved Henry and Max, and you’re the only one who showed.”“No, we do.” She looks off. “Everything’s just so messed up right now. Do the rest of them know you got into Yale?”“Only JJ. Is it weird to say I miss when we were actually friends?” Kathryn scoffs softly to herself. “I just feel like we’re always separated. We barely do anything together.”“I get it.” She nudges her a little. “But at least I’m here and you look hot, so who’s missing out now?”Kathryn put on a short golden satin dress that ends mid-thigh, with spaghetti straps, along with knee-high boots and Henry’s black leather jacket that would stop around the same place as her dress, if she hadn’t shrugged it off earlier.She smiles at Kie. “You know how to butter me up.”“It’s an art,” she shrugs in answer, taking a sip of her drink. “Oh, god. Sarah’s here.”She turns around to see her walking as fast as she can to the pair, clearly not worried about losing some of her hair after Kathryn yanks it out. And she would have, really, if the first words out of her mouth hadn’t been:“Ward’s back on the island.”“Excuse me?”Kathryn groans. “At this point, are we even surprised?”She isn’t. Rafe was already back, what’s one more asshole? At least now Sarah, John B and Kathryn can form a support group for undead dads, except one needs to go to jail, one needs to text her back, and the other should let his son have a social life.Kie shakes her head. “The second I see him, I’m turning him in, I swear.”“I’m camera ready,” Kathryn adds.“I don’t know how you guys do it. I mean every time I wanna complain about my parents, I think about Ward and Caroline.”“Oh, glad to be of service,” Sarah ironises.“To be fair, Caroline’s back in my old house and I haven’t seen her, so we make it work!”She chuckles, shaking her head, and crosses the eyes of a certain bottle blonde, immediately turns back to an already passively irritated Kathryn.“You didn’t tell me Topper was gonna be here.”Kathryn stares at her. “First of all, Max invited the entire island. Second of all, I didn’t know I had to adapt myself to your cheating tendencies, princess.”“Bit insensitive, Sarah,” Kie agrees. “Besides, it’s not a big deal. I’ll keep him away. Or Kat will.”Her friend arches a brow. “Since when am I a guard dog?”“Since when are you not? Your face is scary.”“I’m trying not to be offended here.”As if to prove that she wasn’t that scary, Topper starts walking to them.
Kie grimaces. “Oh, okay. We’re just gonna go over there.”“Please don’t,” Sarah asks.Kathryn snorts. “Your mess, Sarah.”“Okay.”“We’re not going far, just say the word,” Kie promises.
They walk literally two feet to the right, which leaves enough time for Kathryn to say through gritted teeth;“I swear, if this ends in an argument, I’m setting the place on fire.”Kie takes a long sip of her drink. “That’s gonna help, yeah.”“I’m not helping, I’m destroying evidence.”“Hey! How are you?”Kathryn doesn’t look back. “I know he’s not talking to us right now.”Kie’s eye twitches as she looks over her friend’s shoulder. “Oh, hey. I didn’t even see you, bro .”“Uh… did you do these decorations here?”The Darcy girl turns around, lips curled up in disgust. “Just wait until I use your intestines as fairy lights.”“Unsure they sell them at Party City ,” Kie hums.
“No, but at least he’d be a bit less full of shit.”Topper stops trying to talk to them after that.
The crowd in front of the Country Club falls silent as Max walks up to the stage, clinking his fork into his drink, warm blue eyes scanning the people around until he finds his fiancé, looking at him with the utmost love.
Kathryn smiles at them, ignoring the way her gut churns. Edward should be here, too. JJ should be here.
Billy snakes her way through the crowd, joining Kathryn before her brother starts his speech. She grins at her.“I’m not good with words,” he starts, and she knows it’s a lie. “But I really wanted to thank you all for coming here, for me and my love.” Henry visibly melts. “I also want to say thank you to my niece. Future niece, officially.” Kathryn feels the sting of tears in her eyes. “Thank you for accepting me into your family so easily. Thank you for giving me a family. I know you’re going to do great things at Yale, and I love you.”Kathryn bites her cheek, shaking her head. “Love you too, Max.”He smiles, and turns to Henry again. “And most importantly…” He holds up his glass. “Thank you, Henry. I can’t wait to spend forever with you. I love you.”Henry barely has time to reciprocate, already kissing Max, the words on the tip of his tongue. The crowd erupts in applause and whistles, raising their glasses, and Kathryn sees Billy wipe a discrete tear.She tugs her hand, and takes her to see her brother.“That was cute,” Kathryn says with a grin.“Not too much?” Max asks.“Oh no, way overboard, I almost puked, but cute,” Billy ironises.“You’re an ass.”Max hugs Billy and Kathryn, Henry encircling all of them with his arms.
When they part, his niece looks up at him. “I’m sorry dad was a no show.”Henry brushes some hair out of her face. “It’s okay. I’ve got all the family I need right here.”She hugs her uncle again, still feeling awful. Edward never would have skipped this party. At least, not the way she remembered him. She almost felt betrayed, really. It was a terrifying ordeal, when God betrayed your trust.Kathryn doesn’t have to think about it long enough. Arms seize her from behind and lift her above ground, making her shriek.“Bug!”“Bastard!”John B puts her on the ground, all smiles, a little red in the face from the setting sun. Speaking of betrayal…
“You didn’t tell me you got into Yale!”Kathryn grabs his arms, nails digging in his skin as she tugs him away from her uncles. “Let’s not start a list of what we have or haven’t told each other, John B, because I’m going to win.”His smile falters. “Uh?”“ Uh? ” she mimics. “John B, you’ve been lying to me for the past few days. And where the hell have you been? I tried texting and calling you, you wouldn’t answer!”He swallows thickly. Not exactly how he pictured their conversation about Yale going. “Look, some things came up, and–”Kathryn rolls her eyes. “Oh, don’t they always? You know what we could have done? Handled it together. If you had told me what the hell you and your dad were doing, I could have been there. You would have known about Yale.”The words wash over him slowly, and all hopes of having a fun celebration are washed away at the same time. Instead, he just stares in silence at how awful of a best friend he has been, and how he has no right to ask anything of her, not right now.In the uncomfortable silence, Kathryn feels a hand on her shoulder. Josh steps forward, grinning like he always does.
John B blinks at him. “Uh, we were in the middle of something?”“Oh, sorry.” He doesn’t take his hand off. Even John B looks mad at it. “Kat, I can go if you want me to.”But Kathryn has already said what needed to be said at John B. She can always ask later if she really wants to know whatever him and his dad were doing, but truth is, she doesn’t. If he wants to keep it a secret, fine . Let him die with it.He knows he messed up when Kathryn shakes her head. “No, it’s fine. John B already knows what I have to tell him, doesn’t he?”He does. That every time there’s a semblance of a gold hunt, John B gets enthralled, and disappears. It happened with the gold. And now, it’s happening with El Dorado .
If Kathryn only had to tell one person about Yale, it would have been him. But he wasn’t there. And he lied about where he was. No amount of apologies would suffice, not right now.Kathryn always had a lot of love to give, but her trust, that was another matter. She only had a limited supply, she lost the rest on the brink of twelve. John B nearly exhausted the amount she gave him.
… And somewhere, deep down, he even admired her for not getting angry about it.“It’s fine,” he repeats. “I have to talk to Sarah anyway.”Kathryn feels like an electroshock courses through her entire body. “Bee,” she can’t help but mutter suddenly. “I’m sorry.”Well, that chilled him to the bone. “About what?”“Just… you’ll see. And I may be pissed, but I’ll be here.”“... Okay?”She walks away with Josh, risking another glance at them. They’re hugging, right now. Wonder how long that will last.She isn’t sure why Max invited Josh, but if he invited the Thorntorns, then she guesses that Josh isn’t half bad.
“You don’t seem all that happy, considering it’s your uncles’ thing.”Kathryn snorts. “How’d you know?”“Frowning more than usual,” he answers, thumb going to the spot between her brows.
She recoils, against her own best instincts. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”He seems surprised at her reaction, tilting his head to the side, but retracting his fingers immediately. “Oh. I’m sorry.”“It’s just… JJ does that.”Well, while they’re on the topic… Right above Josh’s shoulder, as if the fact that he was talking to Kathryn alone was enough, JJ perks up from behind the bushes, gesturing at Kathryn to come over to him.
Of course . He had to have been with John B. So that means that he told JJ , but not her. Jealousy burns in her stomach, simmers there. A trait she shares with Josh, at present.“Right,” he lets out, smile falling. “It’s always going to be JJ.”Kathryn looks back at him, suddenly guilty of all the times she had him believing that they’d ever be something. “I’m sorry, Josh, I really am.”He takes a moment to build back his façade, to place that smile back on his face. “Nah, it’s fine. I should’ve known.”She hums. “If it helps, there’s nothing you could’ve done.”Josh had been picture perfect. He was everything Kathryn should want. Kind and nice and easy. But she wanted JJ. She would always want JJ.“I think it’s admirable, really.”Kathryn scoffs a little. “Me being in love with JJ? He’s not the charity case you think he is.”He doesn’t answer, for a moment. He just stares at her, and she finds a glint of spitefulness there, that makes her frown even deeper.
“He didn’t tell you,” he realises to himself. “I thought he’d tell you the second after I told him.”If there’s one thing that Kathryn hates, it’s people playing games with her. “Josh, whatever it is, spit it out.”He grins. “Sure. His dad’s the one who pulled the plug on your dad’s boat.”Kathryn goes utterly still. She blinks at Josh, heart hammering in her chest, the words swirling in her mind. That can’t be right. That cannot be right.
She glares at Josh. “If you think making up some lies against JJ is going to make me like you, you’re wrong.”He holds out his hands. “I’m not.”“How do you even know that?”“Your mom,” he answers, and for a second, Kathryn considers clawing his eyes out. “She called me while she was in jail. She wanted you to know that she asked Luke to do her dirty work. Now, she’s a real bitch, but at least she isn’t lying , like a certain someone.”Kathryn smacks her lips, hand going to her hair. JJ wouldn’t have lied about that. She trusts him enough to know that for a fact. She doesn’t even think about if he did, because this cannot be true.
Both things she was thinking as he broke up with her.“I know I’ll never get you, that’s fine,” Josh says. “But I want you to know what you’re getting into, before you crawl back to him.”Her nostrils flare in anger. “Yeah, you make it real convincing, thanks Jocasta.”She shoves past him, and straight at the spot where JJ disappeared. He’ll be able to tell her that this is just shit. That this is all lies, and Josh has sunk so low in his pursuit of her that she’ll never see him again.When she gets to him, he’s crouched down, trying to remain hidden. From her or people around, she’s not sure.

“What are you doing?”He jumps, startled. “Just, uh, thought I should keep my distance. Didn’t really wanna spoil the party, if you know what I’m saying.”Right. Because JJ is so trust-worthy that he stole from her dad, and is now afraid to be seen near the Darcy family.
“That’s your own fault,” she lets out.He falters a little at the sudden change of mood, compared to last night. Oh? He wants to play the stupid game. Fine. She’ll play.“Look, long story short, you have to stay home or with mister H at all times, okay?”She stares at him. “I beg your pardon?”“Singh’s after you, like big time,” he rambles, frantic with obvious worry. “He wants to take you to South America, where he just took Big John–”“Now, hold on–”“So me and the rest of the group are going to get down there as soon as we can, but you have to promise to sit this one out.”She considers him, bewildered. “ You are going to South America, and benching me? ”“Yeah, it’s a long shot, but we’re making a plan right now.”Kathryn laughs, running a hand over her mouth. She cannot believe this. She thought that this whole thing was bad enough as it is, but it just keeps getting worse, doesn’t it? Anger bubbles against her lips.Being mean as a way to save herself. That’s something she’s seen before.
“You can’t just waltz into my uncles’ engagement party and demand things of me, JJ, that’s not how it fucking works.”JJ looks shocked at her answer, scoffing softly. “Okay, I’m literally doing this to protect you right now.”Kathryn couldn’t give two rat’s ass about Singh, not right now. He could try to come get her, Henry’ll kill him, it’s as simple as that. As to why he was coming after her, well, she has a dad who apparently everyone confused her with, so that maths was easily done.No, what she wanted to talk about was the absolute nerve he had, demanding things of her, after breaking up with her, and worse? Because last time she checked, the only moment JJ and Josh had been alone was at the boneyard. And if it was true, then that meant JJ knew what he was doing, getting his dad off the island. Asking Kathryn to help him.When they both thought that her dad was dead, and he asked her to help his murderer.
The more she thought about it, the more it awfully made sense. The way Luke had talked about Caroline… It sends shivers down her spine. It felt wrong, the whole thing felt wrong, and Kathryn bit back.“You’re doing this for me? Yeah sure. Starting to think maybe you are a liar after all.” Caroline had said so, at least.
It goes straight to his heart. He clenches his jaw. Never in a million years, especially after last night, did he think Kathryn would dare agree with Caroline. Even when they were arguing, when the break-up was so fresh in their minds, she took his defence. Only to throw it back in his face?“Okay. Okay, my bad for caring.”“Oh you care?” she repeats. “Is that it, JJ? Let’s rewind to a few days ago when you broke up with me, just to jog my memory.”
“All right,” he lets out, biting his lips. “Whatever, that’s all I needed to tell you. Now if you want to go ahead and get kidnapped for the fourth time, that’s not my problem.”He starts walking away, Kathryn scoffing at his boldness, the fact that he was walking away from her, when he was the one who lied to her, and she didn’t even have the occasion of telling him about it.He turns around, which might be because of his extreme idiotic behaviour, or the fact that if anyone was going to be his undoing, he wanted it to be her.“It’s just that– Actually, one last thing. When you see Darcy, could you just let him know that I don’t feel bad about the money clip? Okay? Just let him know I actually needed it. So thank him for me, actually. Appreciate that. Thank you.”The world tints red. JJ tries to walk away. Kathryn should let him. In the name of all the progress she had been making she should let him walk away, until she can’t see his face. She had been nice. She had been tame.Kathryn was breaking apart, and the only thing keeping her together at the moment was fury.“Should’ve known you’d turn out like Luke, really,” she spits out, not a trace of emotion on her face. “You both steal stuff from my dad, why should the comparison stop there?”JJ’s false confidence crumbles under her gaze, and Kathryn even feels good about it. “Oh, we’re going there?” he seethes, stepping forward, glaring at her over the bush.“I sure as shit am,” she says. “Because, last I checked, neither one of my parents helped kill one of yours.”She waits for him to deny. That’s what JJ does, after all, when he’s caught red handed. He denies, denies, denies . But no, instead he keeps staring at her, at the fury in her eyes. When he broke up with her, he wanted her to get angry.This wasn’t anger. This was the fire that burned her alive. There was no escaping it, no taming it. It was out to kill.“Josh told you.”The quiet rage on her face suddenly goes to shock, and defaults back to fury. Josh was telling the truth. Of course he was. She’d worked that out herself. Having JJ confirm it for her made it worse.Kathryn struggles with herself, white-knuckled grip on her love for JJ, smothering it. Love has no place here.Kathryn thought she had been betrayed when JJ broke up with her. But she understood, now. He wasn’t running from her, he was running from his lies .
“And when did you know, JJ?” she asks, cold as ice, already knowing the answer. “Was it before, or after I helped your dad out of the island?” Her lip ticks up. “Was it before or after I kissed you?” He doesn’t answer. “Did you like it? Did you like kissing me thinking your dad killed mine?”“Hold on, hold on, hold on. You seriously think that?” he asks, mouth ajar. “You really think I liked hiding that from you, ‘cause I didn’t!”“How the fuck am I supposed to believe you?” she cries out. “You lied to me! For all I know, you were just pitying me. ‘Look at poor Kat Darcy, my dad killed hers, let’s do her a solid.’”“No!” he cries out. “ C’mon, you gotta know that’s not true. You know I wouldn’t do that.”“I don’t know anything, JJ, because up until now what I knew was that you loved me,” she lets out, and the way she says it sounds a lot like disgust. “That I trusted you. Were you even going to tell me? Or were you going to push to see how far I could go? How much I could take?”“I tried to tell you right away,” he says. “But Kat, you were just getting better. D’you think I could take that from you? ‘Cause I couldn’t. I couldn’t look you in the eye and take that from you.”“You should have tried! ” she erupts. “Did you really think so little of me? That this would make me hate you?”JJ shakes his head. “It had nothing to do with you, I didn’t trust myself to make you stay.”
Kathryn shakes her head. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you kept it a secret. You know me, JJ. You must have known I wouldn’t take it lightly! You risked it for what, two months of happiness? Only to break up with me when we came back.” She rakes a shaking hand through her hair. “You slept by my side for two months. And you never found the courage to just tell me.”“It was too late by then,” he pleads. “I couldn’t just walk up to you and come out with it.”“Yeah, you could have. You were just too chickenshit to do it.”“You were happy, Kat! At least I thought you were, because you were damn good at pretending. You were barely angry anymore. You seriously think I’d fuck that up for you?”“No, but I seriously thought you wouldn’t lie to me. Do you know how hard it is for me to trust people?” She scoffs. “Of course you do. And that’s exactly why you didn’t tell me when you thought it was too late.”He shuts his eyes, biting his lips nervously. “What would it have changed anyway? Your dad’s not even dead.”Kathryn stays silent, for a moment. They both know this is nowhere near the issue. At the time, they thought Edward was lost at sea. And JJ still let her help Luke. He still let her save him from the cops. He held her hand as she sinned.
“Oh, believe me, I know, considering you stole from him. As if what you’d done wasn’t enough.”He opens and closes his mouth. “I didn’t do anything. My dad did.”Her eyes flash with anger. “Same difference."JJ considers her for a moment, furious that she’d go as low as to make that comparison, desolate that it made sense. But JJ could get angry, too. He was impulsive, too. He let things slip when he shouldn’t, just because he knows he’d hurt her as much as she was hurting him.“You know, your dad’s not exactly the best either,” he says.She smiles, a forced, awful thing. “You’ve got to be actually fucking kidding me, JJ.”“I’m not, actually. Just ask him,” he starts screaming, people turning to look at them, gesturing frantically. “Ask him why we broke up.”Kathryn crosses her arms on her chest. “I don’t have to ask him. I know why we broke up, you cunt .”He scoffs. “ Do you? No, go on, I’d love to hear this one.”“Because you’re a coward. You were scared I’d turn on you because of your dad. You were scared that I’d never be able to love you because of it, and you couldn’t handle that. But you know what, JJ? It wouldn’t have changed anything for me. So you’re just a real fucking idiot.”JJ licks his lower lip, tipping his head back. “How was I supposed to know that? You leave people, Kat, that’s what you do.”“Yeah, and you’re always being left. Guess we really should’ve known.”They stare at each other, unable to get another word out for a while. What more can be said? Kathryn is practically begging inwardly that he’ll apologise, but even then, she isn’t sure she’ll forgive him. Trust was always easier to leave than love was. A quiet death. And Kathryn loved JJ. Religiously, like she did her dad. She didn’t trust him anymore.She had trusted him, and that was her greatest sin. The only thing that could have been corrupted. She didn’t deserve absolution for that. She’d been cursed the moment she saw him.
Kathryn had trusted JJ fast, and hard. The same way she fell for him. All of it was tainted now. All of it was wrong. Love shouldn’t be a sin. Trust shouldn’t be a sin.But this was too great. This was too grave . He’d let her help her dad’s murderer, knowingly. He’d watched her drive, and never said a thing. He watched her condemn herself, and then kissed her and hoped that’d make it okay. And she had to learn her retribution from someone else.No tears come to her eyes when she speaks. She remains cold, cold as she feels despite the fire raging. Cold to save her life, this, she knows. The same way she knows her next words will kill her, as she says them.“This is over, JJ,” she says, calmly. “We’re done. We’re not friends. We’re not even enemies. We’re nothing .”He looks at her, face blank of all emotions. Then, he clicks his tongue.“I’m gonna go help my best friend save his father. Maybe I’ll see you at the break when I get back.”Kathryn stares at him as he leaves. “If I’m not gone by then.”She sees him nearly trip over himself, but he still leaves. She doesn’t go after him.
Kathryn is barely there for the rest of the party, if you could call it that. By nightfall, Sarah is drunk and dancing with Topper. Ten minutes later, John B is beating Topper to a pulp, and Henry has to separate them. Topper is barely recognisable, and so is John B, in his own right.
Kathryn doesn’t care about any of it. She’s a hollow shell, as they drive home, Henry tucking her in bed, telling her that the party was still fun while it lasted. Kathryn doesn’t care anymore.
She barely even cares that Singh is after her, or that he wants her dead, or wants to use her. She’d given up on her body, and she’d given every ounce of her soul to JJ. He betrayed that trust. Even if Kathryn understood where he was coming from, she couldn’t forgive it.Kathryn could give love to anyone she wanted. She’d loved her mother through all of it, she’d pitied Rafe, even. Trust, that was harder. She’d always have all the reasons in the world not to trust people. The fact that JJ Maybank proved her right… A tear slips from her eye, and falls on the pillow. Then, she clenches her jaw.She glues herself shut, so that JJ doesn’t slip through the cracks. In, or out, she wasn’t sure. And for the first time, she wonders. Maybe he’d been right. This was never going to work.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn stares at the ceiling, playing with the ring that used to be on her thumb. How long can she pretend like everything is fine? She’s always playing that game. No one catches on. You can’t win it either. So it’s not much of a game, really.

Waking up after an argument she had is never a good thing. Clarity hits her and she thinks back on everything she’s said. Self-hatred rears its ugly head, threatens to swallow her whole. It’s worse that it was JJ. Of course it’s worse.

But she can’t help but be

mad

, still. If Edward hadn’t been alive, if he had really

died

, and Luke had been the one that killed him, then what? Because that’s what they both believed at the time. Was JJ even more surprised than she was, seeing her dad there?

If he had told her, right here and there, she would have forgiven him. She can understand that he’d be scared to tell her

before

, because Kathryn never reacted lightly to anything, and he had been lying after all, but keeping it a secret

now?

It made no sense. Edward was alive, the worst would be over.

Maybe

she’d have been pissy, and maybe she would have been angry, but she wouldn’t have been fire.

She wouldn’t have told him that he was like his dad.

She shuts her eyes, and pockets the ring. She wasn’t ready to forgive JJ. She was nowhere near going to forgive herself.

Sarah is pacing around in Kie’s room, and Kathryn was already

not

happy about her own situation, she could barely fit in more frustration regarding John B and Sarah’s.

“I mean, like, even after he was down, John B was still hitting him.”

“Yeah, I’ve never seen him like that,” Kie lets out.

Kathryn groans. “I don’t blame him entirely. I’m more pissed that he ruined my uncles’ party, but sure.” Her friend stares at her. “I mean, ‘beating up people, ugh.’ If Topper presses charges, I’m joining Bee.”

“He

can’t

get arrested,” Sarah reminds her. “Not now. If he’s locked up, he can’t help his dad. I have to fix this.” She looks up at Kathryn. “Can you give me a ride to Topper’s? Please.”

She purses her lips. She’d say no, considering the whole

cheating on her best friend

thing. However, Topper drools after Sarah so she might be able to convince him not to press charges.

“Sure,” she says, getting up. “I’m picking up Billy anyway, she wants to go have coffee.”

Kie sits up at that. “You don’t think it’s going to make things worse?”

“I don’t know,” Sarah says. “And I don’t know what’s gonna happen with me and John B. But what I

do

know is I can’t just sit by and watch him get arrested while his dad’s abducted. I have to try.”

She’s out the door in a flash, Kathryn still scrambling for her shoes. Kie seizes the opportunity before Kathryn’s running again.

“Kat,” she calls out, her friend humming in response. “Are you sure you should go out? JJ said–”

“JJ isn’t in charge of me,” she retorts. “And I’m going to be around people at all times, not exactly a good place to get kidnapped, is it?”

At this point, she didn’t care. She deserved to be abducted and taken to South America or

wherever

. If this was waiting for her, fine. It didn’t matter.

Well, of course, she couldn’t say that to Kie, could she? She’d call Henry, and Henry would call her dad, and it’d turn into a whole thing, and she didn’t want that. If it was going to happen, at least she could hope for a little bit of peace and quiet.

Kie nods reluctantly. “Right… Just text me when you get there. And when you leave.”

“Yes, mum.”

🍓

Kathryn didn’t say a word to Sarah, and didn’t stay long in front of Topper’s house. She didn’t exactly trust herself to stay anywhere near the guy, not in her state. It sounds dramatic when she says it like that; the state is impending doom.

Billy refused to get her an iced coffee, on the grounds that she seemed ‘jumpy’ and ‘on the brink of a panic attack’ and ‘if you still wore the bracelets, you’d be wearing a red one.’ Which are all very sound analysis, if Kathryn wasn’t

really

craving a coffee.

“You’re all twitchy,” she adds yet again. “And… You have a weird look in your eyes. I don’t trust you anywhere near coffee.”

She doesn’t say it, but the way her almond eyes narrow, she’s sure she gives it away. Kathryn never really got

sad

. She would just turn empty, and get angry in retaliation. And right now, she didn’t seem all that angry. She didn’t seem all that

anything

. That’s why, when Billy saw her walking out to go to Kie’s this morning, she proposed to go out.

If she’d stayed home, Kathryn would have found a way to hurt herself. Her brain, destroying her studio again. She hasn’t set foot there since they cleaned it up. She hasn’t thrown away the pieces of JJ’s painting, too. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t walked back into the room yet.

Her phone dings. Billy reads the text upside-down. It’s from Pope. Apparently, Denmark Tanny left a letter to his daughter with some sort of Kalinago Rosetta stone, and nearly despite herself, Kathryn makes the link between that and her father’s journal.

Clearly, the fact that Tanny had been to

El Dorado

got less weird every day. So much for coffee.

“You don’t have to go everytime they call, you know?” Billy says.

Kathryn scoffs. “Of course I do. Considering the rate at which people are learning Kalinago, I may as well be the only one on the planet able to help them. Besides, maybe it’d help to find Big John, you never know.”

“Kitty. You just found out JJ’s been lying to you for months. You

just

, like, broke up with him again, but worse. You’re allowed to take a breather.”

“I like being busy. That way, my brain pauses.” Billy shuts her eyes tightly, shaking her head. “C’mon, we should go before…”

Her voice dies out in her throat. Across from her at the café, Rafe is sitting, back turned to her, kissing some girl.

Kathryn’s blood roars in her ears, breath catching, lowering herself down on her seat. The world spins. This can’t be happening.

This can’t be happening again

.

Billy twists around to see, “What’s he doing here?”

Kathryn doesn’t care that Rafe is here. What she wants to know is who that girl is. How did he convince her to be here with him? Was the kiss consensual? Does he have something against her that he’s using?

The only thing that goes through her mind is that Rafe is capable of breaking people. And no one deserves that.

“We have to help her,” she says through her clenched jaw.

She wasn’t scared of Rafe anymore. But she knew that the girl was most likely to open up and ask for help if he wasn’t around. That’s why she sits back, eyes glued on the couple.

Billy doesn’t seem nearly as relaxed. “What do you mean help her?”

“I mean Rafe isn’t exactly the nicest person and she needs help.”

Her friend visibly pales and winces at that. “Kitty, that’s not your job.”

“Sure it is. Otherwise it happened to me for nothing, and that’s just sad.”

“Of course it’s not–”

“Look, just drop it,” she snaps at her. “I’m helping the girl. We just have to wait until Rafe goes to pee or something.”

Billy remains silent for the rest of their wait. It’s no use. She doesn’t know what got Kathryn in this mood, but she saw the heated exchange between her and JJ the night prior, the distinct lack of ring on her thumb, and, well, she can guess.

Kathryn said some things she shouldn’t have, and now, she was destroying herself for it.

Everything Rafe had put her through, this is what it’d led up to, she tells herself. Now, she could use it for the greater good, she could help someone else. She could do the right thing, after so many wrongs last night.

She just needed a few minutes alone with her, that’s all. She just needed to warn her, if nothing had happened, and tell her that she had someone who believed her, if it did. That’s all Kathryn had wanted for herself. Someone to hold her through it, someone to tell her that she wasn’t crazy, that this wasn’t right, and that anyone saying the opposite was wrong.

She could be that someone.

Kathryn watches carefully, above Billy’s shoulder, as Rafe whispers things in her ears, making her laugh. She thinks she sees her force herself, in the way she grabs his arm. The touch all feels wrong, forced, rushed, with a touch of disgust. She needs to get that girl out of here.

Soon enough, she stands up, sends Rafe another smile that looks more like a grimace, and walks out as he gets up to pay. Kathryn nearly jumps out of her seat.

“Kat,” Billy tries. “Kat, what if–”

She shushes her, and leaves after the girl.

It’s easy to catch up to her, seeing as Kathryn is practically running, and she’s walking. Makes sense. Kathryn wouldn’t want Rafe to think that something was wrong, either.

Her hand is on her shoulder before she can think of what to say, how to put her at ease. This isn’t going to be an easy conversation, she knows that. She’s

had

that conversation, and hated her friends for sparking it. So a stranger? … Well at least Kathryn knew how she felt.

The girl is pretty, too. Short brown hair, and bright eyes on a round face. She looks nice. She can’t believe Rafe would do that to someone again. At least, she hopes she’ll get to keep her kindness. Kathryn will try to help her in that, at least.

“Hi,” she starts with a smile. “Sorry, I just saw you inside, and I…”

Recognition floats over her pretty face. “You’re Kat Darcy,” she says. “Oh, I know you. Hi! I’m Sofia.”

Kathryn’s smile stays firmly on. This will be easier if she knows her. In fact, if she really

does

know here, then she must already know that Kathryn is someone she can confide in.

“Right. Look, it might sound… bold, to just come over like this, but I wanted to know if… if you were okay?” she stammers along her sentence, unsure how to phrase it.

When Kathryn pictures someone comforting her at twelve years old, there are rarely words, just the ghostly presence of someone holding her tight, the smell of citrusy sun and a flash of blonde hair. He wouldn’t have spoken. That’s why her attempt is so chopped up.

Sofia frowns a little, but smiles, still. “What do you mean?”

Kathryn recognises that kind of façade. “It’s okay,” she promises. “You can tell me. You can tell me, if he hurt you… or threatened to. I believe you.”

Her face relaxes, and her mouth forms a little ‘o.’ “No, no, don’t worry, nothing like that. Rafe’s a sweetheart.”

She can’t help the ironic laugh that escapes her. “Sofia, you don’t have to lie to me. But if you don’t want to tell me, I respect that. Just know that I’m here–”

“Look, Kat, he really did nothing to me.” Kathryn’s mouth shuts abruptly. “He’s told me what happened between you two. So I understand where you’re coming from, but he’s changed, really. He’s kind to me.”

Kathryn’s face crumbles. “What?”

Sofia’s face is genuine, if not a little pitying. “I’m sorry. I know it must be hard to hear, but he’s grown. He’s past what happened between you two, even if he still beats himself up for it.” She puts a hand on Kathryn’s shoulder, who recoils. “Sorry. Just… don’t worry about me, okay? He’d never hurt me.”

“Right,” she barely whispers out.

She gives her another apologetic smile, and walks away. Kathryn watches her disappear, barely registering that Billy has caught up to her, hovering over her, but never touching her, unsure if she should in the first place.

Kathryn just stares and stares and stares. Rafe would never hurt Sofia. Everything Kathryn thought were well rehearsed gestures to appease him were acts of love. The kiss was genuine. Rafe was kind to her.

Every single reassurement Kathryn had received, every single time she’d told herself it wasn’t her fault, every

lie

that had been told slipped between her fingers like water. It was all easy, to think that Rafe was the problem, when he wasn’t seeing someone. When Kathryn had no comparison.

When Kathryn couldn’t look at Sofia’s back and wonder, what does she have that saved her? What does she have, that I don’t, that meant I deserved what happened? There had to be something, because she’d seen it, and Rafe had been

soft

.

Nausea swells in her stomach. Tears prick at her eyes. Maybe what happened didn’t make Kathryn into this. Maybe she always had been. Maybe that was why she couldn’t keep Rafe away, couldn’t keep JJ near.

There was something rotten about her. The runt of the litter. She had just gotten so well at hiding it, she even fooled herself.

Her face contorts into a sob, but she holds it in. Kathryn doesn’t get

sad

. Especially not right now. Big John was missing, she was up for potential abduction, and most of all, her friends needed her. They needed her sharp, not all teary and weepy.

It didn’t matter that she was tearing at the seams, as long as she was useful.

“Let’s go,” she says, voice firm. “Pope needs me.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy feels useless. The only thing she can do is never leave Kathryn’s side as she, Cleo, Kie and Pope all stand around the table outside the Château, waiting for the others to get there. Not that they have

news

, beyond Sarah trying to get Topper to withdraw the charges he pressed.

Kathryn plays her little game well. Hiding her feelings. Billy herself still has no idea what the heck happened with that Sofia girl, and it’s starting to scare her. She shouldn’t be just, pretending like nothing’s bad is going on. She definitely shouldn’t be helping anyone but herself.

But she’d decided this was the best way to distract herself, and it was hard to prove her wrong.

“Do you still have that picture you took at Singh’s?” Pope asks her. “The one of the painting?”

She hums, taking her phone out. “Sure. Why?”

He takes the phone right out of her hands. Kie frowns at him. “That was rude.”

“He could’ve asked,” Kathryn agrees.

Pope simply scrolls through her picture, and she tries not to cringe at the amount of selfies of JJ she has on there. He liked to take her phone when she took too long to wake up, come out of the shower, whenever it was lying around somewhere… Of course, she figures most of those pictures are old, now.

“What are you looking for?” Billy asks softly.

“Something Cleo found, actually.” He holds out the letter he told Kathryn over text. “It’s a letter Denmark Tanny wrote to his daughter.”

Cleo grins. “We found it last night. Family heirlooms and thingums.”

She looks cute, fawning over him. He looks oblivious, though, but that’s Pope for you. Billy remarks the way Kathryn has to look at something else.

“We think we found a connection to the idol,” he says.

“The idol?” Billy repeats.

“Big John and John B stole it from the archives before he went missing,” Kathryn quickly sums up. “Bee said in his text that it’s supposed to open the way to

El Dorado

, or some shit like that.”

“Look, check this out. See the king sun glyph here?” He points at another paper, which Kathryn guesses is the Kalinago Rosetta stone he spoke of, from all the glyphs on it. “It matches the one in the painting at Singh’s house.”

He shows her her phone. Kie arches a brow. “Couldn’t that just mean it’s pretty common?”

“It’s Kalinago,” Kathryn tells her. “It’s never even been fully deciphered, I wouldn’t call it common.”

Pope opens and closes his mouth. “Well I was going to say that, but how do you know?”

She shrugs. “Dad’s journal. He gave me a bunch of homework, I guess, and there’s a bit about Kalinago.

Also

, he said that the captain of the San Jose found someone who could translate these glyphs because he found

El Dorado

.”

Kie starts nodding. “The priest that talked to Denmark Tanny, that was on the Royal Merchant.”

“

Exactly

,” Pope enthuses. “Every glyph that is in this letter is in the artifact.”

He puts the letter next to the idol. Even if the painting is far from being extra realist, Kathryn recognises the shapes. “So that’s not a Rosetta stone for Kalinago, it’s meant for the idol. It’s a translation key.”

“And we can use this to save Big John!” Cleo adds.

“Guys, we have to get this to John B, like, yesterday,” Kie urges, gathering everything, handing her phone back to Kathryn.

Billy shakes her head. “He should be here any minute,” she reminds her. “Sarah hasn’t texted us back yet, but she said she’d bring him.”

Kie fights back the urge to say that Sarah wouldn’t have texted her, and instead groans. “Of course. Guess we just have to wait around.”

Just as she says that, JJ comes walking, awkwardly waving. “...Hi.” Kathryn turns her back to him. “What’d I miss?”

Billy’s eyes fly from one to the other, the way Kathryn’s shoulders are tightened, eyes screwed shut. She isn’t sure if she’s protecting herself or JJ by not saying anything.

Neither. Kathryn is trying to play the game. The pretend game. Except JJ was her opponent, and winning was out of the question, and he watched her like a hawk. It was a matter of minutes before he’d notice something was wrong, and then, all bets are off.

… If he can bear to talk to her after what she said.

“We have a translating key for the idol,” Billy quickly says. “It’s in Kalinago. Kitty knows it.”

He barely looks surprised, but does roll his eyes a little. Kathryn licks her lips. “Look, Kalinago is tricky, because the meaning of the sentence rests on the order of the words. Even with the translation key, we don’t know what it means, because we don’t know which words come first.”

Kie blinks at her. “How do you know that?”

“Worked it out with my dad’s failed attempts at translating something.”

Cleo snorts. “Attagirl.”

Kathryn looks away, crossing her arms. She’s not in the mood for praise, right now. “It’s just logic.”

Pope clicks his fingers at her. “That’s why she got into Yale.”

“Hey, thanks for waiting.” The small group turns around to Sarah, who’s smiling. “Look who decided to come home.”

John B is right behind her, hands in his pockets, smiling sheepishly. Kathryn can’t help it. She smirks back at him as everyone greets him. Jail truly can’t hold the man down. And there are worse reasons to go there than for beating up Topper, mind you. She’ll take the good news she has.

Sarah isn’t done with them, though. “I have something I want to share with you guys. I can get us down to the Orinoco.”

Okay. The place where

El Dorado

supposedly is. Just that. Nothing much.

JJ splutters. Kathryn stares at her. “As in, you have a plane available?”

“Yeah.” Well, she was being sarcastic, but you know. “My dad’s gonna let us use the plane.”

Right, there was the catch. “

Ward?

” JJ exclaims.

“Your

dad?

” Pope repeats, just to make sure.

“Is the plane meant to crash?” Kathryn asks.

“

No

. We lay low tonight, then wheels up first thing in the morning.”

Oh.

Oh

, this was happening too quickly. Kathryn barely could manage with the panic attack that was coming to bite her in the ass any minute now, let alone flying to

South America

.

What was she going to tell her dad? No, he’d be on board. What was she going to tell Henry?

… Wasn’t she benched?

She bites her lower lip, tilting her head at John B. “Am I included in that fly off?”

John B winces, looking at her. “Well, Bug, I figured that Singh might not think to look for you right under his nose. Also, it’d be neat to have you with me when we do find my dad, and

El Dorado

. But the choice is yours.”

Her mouth ticks up. “Is it?” She shakes her head. As if she’s going to let her friends risk their lives and stay behind. She’ll just have to hope she’ll make it back in time for Yale.

Pope gestures at her. “Uh, we kinda need her, considering she can read Kalinago.”

“I can work on it,” she corrects. “Look whatever, I’m still processing

Ward

helping us.”

Sarah nods. “I talked to him. He’ll do it.”

“So we trusting Ward now?” Cleo asks, stealing the words right out of her mouth.

Kie gestures to the blonde girl. “Trust Sarah.” Well, that’s a loaded answer.

All of it is forgiven on the premise of finding the treasure, though.

“I can help you guys pack,” Billy proposes. “I mean, I’m definitely not going to South America, but I can score some pancakes? Maybe ask Henry for some cheeseburger.” She risks a look at Kathryn. “... Lie to get them, depending on what we decide to tell them.”

God, Henry is going to kill her. But this time, she won’t lie to him. She’ll tell him everything. She’s not leaving with so much left unsaid, like last time. Even if she dreads the moment she’ll have to tell him. Which is, well, tomorrow…

She has today to hate herself. Tomorrow to panic. A full schedule.

Pope, completely oblivious to what’s going on in her mind because she’s smiling, grins at Billy. “That’s all I needed to hear.”

“But, wait, I also just have one more thing to say.” They turn back to Sarah. “Since we’ve gotten back from the island, I’ve done some things that I regret. A lot.” Her eyes drift over to John B.

“Yeah, uh…” He clears his throat. “... I feel… I feel like we’ve all done a thing or two that we regret.” He looks over at JJ. Kathryn clenches her teeth so hard it hurts, not to do the same.

“And I don’t…” Sarah starts again. “

Poguelandia

, guys. It’s all I’ve been able to think about. We were all together on that island. Well, almost. But it was a good thing, and I don’t want to ruin a good thing. I just wanna know, are we still all in? Are we still all together? Because I am.”

Kathryn can’t help her smile to turn genuine. Rafe destroyed things, but Sarah, she just made mistakes. And she fought tooth and nail to fix them. She could admire that in her. She did.

Which is why she steps forward first, hugging her. “Well, to be honest, I don’t miss the smell.”

She chuckles. “No one misses the smell.”

Kie holds the two, swaying them for a moment, before letting go so that Cleo can grin at Sarah. “

We pon road!

”

They hug, as Pope steps forward. “Still can’t believe you got the plane.”

“

I know!

”

“That’s actually insane.”

Sarah steps in front of Billy. She blinks up at the blonde. “Oh. Oh, I'm in this?”

She smiles. “Yeah you are. Kat threatened us.”

“Did not!” the girl immediately retorts.

Billy grins, it’s blinding, but even Kie does it back at her. “You guys are fun. I’m just not entirely convinced you don’t all need clinical help.”

JJ walks over to the group, as they link their arms together, on the other side of the line they are forming, the further away from Kathryn. “No, no, we do.” He looks back at John B. “Let’s go get Big John, all right? What do you say there, shit bird?”

“I think this deserves a woogity,” Pope declares. “It’s Billy’s first woogity!”

She gasps. “That’s exciting. What’s a woogity?”

Kathryn clears her throat. “John Bastard, if you don’t come over here to hug us, I’m dragging you.”

He tries to fight back a smile, shrugging.

“Come over here, funny man!”

“We don’t bite.”

“Kat does.”

“Fuck off!”

John B joins the group hug, holding out his hand for a woogity, which is essentially just wiggling their fingers together, Billy learns. But they’re all grinning, so she figures it must be something big for them. It felt nice to be included, at least.

Kathryn’s smile ticks down, slightly, when they all part and no one is looking at her. She’s winning the game, so far.

It made her wonder what she was losing.

🍓

Their small reunion turns into a party. Kie, Pope, and Cleo are playing dominoes on the table. Billy is sitting with Kathryn on the couch, as JJ keeps standing up, walking around. Sarah and John B are unaccounted for, but she’s not sure she wants to know.

“So what kind of plane is it?” Cleo asks, Kie playing the ukulele everytime it’s not her turn, next to her.

“Well, it’s Ward’s, so I’m guessing it’s something lit,” Pope tells her.

“Could almost make flying comfy, right Kitty?” Billy jokes, nudging her with her foot.

Kathryn’s lungs are on fire. Her gut is churning, her heart is racing. She hears it roaring in her ears. She’s been pushing everything back for too long, it was coming back to the surface, harder than she expected, harder than she could manage.

“Kitty?”

She blinks. “Sorry?”

Billy looks worried, now. “Are you okay?”

She takes a deep breath. The air doesn’t go all the way in, choking her at her throat. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m just going to pee.”

When she stands up, the world spins around Kathryn. She does her best not to wobble, her knees nearly giving out from under her, stumbling over to John B’s small bathroom.

She gets there, she sits on the edge of the tub, taking deep breaths in, and they don’t come all the way through, she chokes on them like sobs. Her hands run up and down her thighs, trying to soothe herself, whimpers escaping her lips. Kathryn Darcy didn’t get

sad

. She always bounced back.

Until she didn’t. Until she was having a panic attack in the bathroom, her friends laughing outside. Until everything about her had rotted, and she lost the game.

She wants to scream, but the only thing that comes out are ragged breaths.

Billy knocks at the door. Kathryn can’t get her word out to keep her away. To have a panic attack was something, to be seen having a panic attack was something else

entirely

. She sits there, quiet as she can, until she hopes she gets the message and leaves.

The door opens. It wasn’t Billy.

Kathryn thinks she must look pretty damn ridiculous to JJ, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, mascara running down her face, shaking and running her hands down her legs, panting like a damn dog. He takes one long look at her.

Steps in, and closes the door behind him.

She can’t say anything, not with the way she hyperventilates, as he sits down next to her. Her hands fly to her chest, rubbing the spot under her collarbone. Bracing a hand against the tub, he lifts the other to stop her.

Kathryn splutters at his touch. His hands are cold against the irritated skin from how hard she was rubbing. She feels him breathe with her, forcing her to take in as much air as she can, and release. In, and out.

They do this until she can breathe again, and he takes his hand off. Kathryn wipes the mascara off of her face. Shame hits her like a brick. Everything she’s said to him nearly makes her collapse.

“I’m the last person you want to be around right now, JJ,” she says, voice warbly.

He hums. “Yeah, I think I’ll make that choice for myself.”

“You can’t.” She turns her teary eyes to him, eyebrows scrunched up together. His fingers twitch. “I’m scared I’ll be awful to you again.”

He shrugs, the tiniest smile on his face. “I’ll probably deserve it.”

“Don’t do that,” she scowls, sniffling. “Don’t make jokes. We both know you didn’t deserve what I said about you and your dad.”

He falters, looking down at his hands, rubbing the spot where his ring used to be. “Yeah. Well, we both know I shouldn’t’ve kept things from you, so.”

She clicks her tongue loudly, looking away, breathing hard. “And don’t be nice to me,

god

.” It was the

last

thing she deserved.

But if JJ did what she told him, they would never have gotten this far. “What’s going on, Kat?”

She purses her lips, fingers going to scratch at her neck, rub at her chest, up and down her thighs again. “Couldn’t you have just not needed to pee?”

He frowns. “I didn’t need to pee. You just been tweaking since I got there, and I thought it was because… You know. It’s not, is it?”

When he got here. Not when she upped and left to the bathroom, not when he heard her cry through the door. When he saw her evade his gaze, that’s when he knew. Kathryn never looked away from anything, and definitely not him.

“Rafe has a girlfriend,” she says with difficulty.

He tenses up. “Did he hurt her?”

“No,” Kathryn sobs. “No, he’s

kind

. And he would never hurt her, and fucking–

Why couldn’t he have been kind to me?

”

Silence hangs in the air, disturbed only when she catches her breath to cry some more.

JJ catches on easily to what thoughts must have been plaguing Kathryn. “That still doesn’t make it your fault,” he tells her.

“Yeah, I used to think that,” she lets out, wryly.

Before I couldn’t even keep you close to me. Before he told me he loved me, and you told me you were leaving.

“I used to think that he was just a weirdo, obsessed with me, and that I could do something with it. I thought I could help her. But she didn’t even

need

it.”

She scoffs to herself, retreating away from JJ, legs shaking under her. JJ doesn’t say anything, but she doesn’t need him to.

“So what am I supposed to do with all that pain, now? Is it all for nothing? Am I just broken inside for the fucking sake of it?” She licks her lips, turning back to him. “All I do is hurt the people I love with it, and if I can’t do anything right, then might as well just end–”

He puts his hand on her mouth, blue eyes wide with panic. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare think that. Even if it’s just the panic attack, I… Just don’t say that.”

He doesn’t take his hand off until she’s properly glaring at him, and he’d take that over the devastation that was on her face a moment before.

She rolls her lips in her mouth. “I just don’t understand. Why

me?

Why did he have to do that to

me?

”

“God

damn

, Kat, it’s not

you!

” he hushers at her. “Rafe didn’t see

you

. He saw what he wanted, and he took what he wanted, and I can’t believe I haven’t fired at his

balls

already, but Kat... It could’ve been anyone. It’s fucking awful that it was you, but that doesn’t mean it was

because

of you. Tell me you can at least get that through your thick skull.”

Kathryn looks away. It was always easier to hate herself when JJ wasn’t here, proving her wrong at every turn. Proving her that yes, Kathryn was worth loving, she was worth more than choking and forcing, she was worth softness and featherlight kisses.

But she had been worth that, because she was trying to be better. She was trying to be perfect, and she had failed. “So now what? What do I do with it?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. You don’t

have

to do anything with that. Just… put it down, dude.

Please

. Just put it down.”

She stares at him. Is it really that easy? Did she really never have to do anything with it? She held the fire back, and she had let it consume her, always treating it like a part of her. Could she really just

stop?

No, Kathryn would always be a little mean. She would always be too abrasive, short-tempered.

She just didn’t have to suffer and hurt others for it. She didn’t have to make up for it, either. Trying to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect friend, the perfect daughter. She had just spread herself so thin that the skin cracked. Trouble-shooting, JJ called it. A change or another, a monster or this perfect being, they were both murders of herself. Versions she had built with her corpses.

Put everything down

.

Was it even hers to carry in the first place? She can’t remember. The weight has been on her shoulders for too long now.

“You always make it sound so easy.” She leans her forehead against JJ’s cheek, humming when he turns his lips to kiss her there. “This is getting so old. I get better, and I always end up breaking down. You’re always fixing me, what do I do for you?”

JJ shrugs. “You try.”

At a loss for words, she just stays against him. JJ has a billion things she does for him. The top one is loving him. He doesn’t ask anything more. She still gives. She still tries.

When he needs help, she drives her car in front of a speeding ambulance. She jumps into the ocean. She gets his dad off the island. JJ needed help in different ways than she did. He needed a reminder that there was good in him, something that was worth risking everything for. Kathryn always reminded him of that.

“Also,” he says, because he can’t stop talking. “You punched my dad in the face, that one time.”

She groans, leaning back. “Do we really want to start on that subject? Because I’m still pissed you waited so long to tell me.”

He holds his hands up. “Oh, I know. You got the mean frown on.” He rubs his thumb between her eyebrows. “There we go.”

Kathryn looks back at him like he hung the stars. “I really am sorry about what I said, though.”

“I saw it on your face the second you said it, it’s chill. On my part, at least.” He scratches the back of his neck, suddenly uncomfortable. “Uh, you know, that whole entire money clip and dad situation?”

She narrows her eyes at him. “We were starting back on good-ish terms, don’t jinx it, Maybank.”

“No, um… That wasn’t that cool, and I’m kinda beating around the bush a little but, um, I’m sorry, and I think, like, maybe a bit more important, I’m still, like… what I’m trying to say, is that I’m…”

He drifts off, looking over her shoulder. She clicks her tongue. “If you’re going to tell me you’re a vampire or a werewolf, I’m drowning you in the shower.”

He stands up. “Fire.”

“No, water.”

“

No

, KD,” he hisses, forcing her up and turning her towards the window. “

There’s a fire

.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Last night was a blur. A blur that smelled of smoke, and burnt wood, and that still brought heat everytime she thought about it. But at least, a blur that they got out of, so Kathryn cannot think of complaining.

The Pogues are sitting in front of what used to be the Château, and is now basically just the burnt corpse of a house. Kathryn used to play hide and seek there. She used to make pancakes for John B, there.

There was barely anything left, the beams still burning, falling to the ground as she puts a hand on John B’s arm.

“Could’ve been a faulty electrical wire,” Pope says.

They’re covered in soot, and ashes, but everyone is fine, which is more than she can say for the Château.

God

, she loved this place. It wasn’t fair.

“Place was all wood,” Kie lets out. “A tinderbox.”

“Thing just went up,” Cleo adds. “Boom.”

Kathryn shuts her eyes. “As if we didn’t have enough on our plate, you know?”

JJ hums. “Verdict’s in, man. Whoever’s up there? Does

not

like you.” Sarah sends him a look. “Sorry.”

Billy sighs a little, looking at John B from behind Kathryn. “You can always crash at the Palace when you guys come back… until we rebuild it.”

He hangs his head in defeat, but doesn’t say anything. What more can be said? His childhood home just went up in flames. The place where his friends regrouped, gone. With it, his clothes, his pictures, all his stuff. Every little memory was gone with the smoke.

There was nothing to

be

said. And they still had to move forward. They were going to South America,

today

. They should already be on their way, really.

The group relocates to the docks, cleaning the soot out with salt water, as best as they can. They don’t exactly have anything else to work with, so…

Once they’re sort of clean, John B turns to his girlfriend. “Sarah, when did you say the pilot was getting in?”

“Probably like an hour? I mean, once he’s here, my dad says we can leave whenever we want.”

“Nice of him,” Kathryn scoffs. “He gives us time to disappoint our own parents.”

She still has no idea what she’s going to say to Henry and Max. Edward, she has it covered, she wagers he actually

wants

her to go. Her uncles? They aren’t going to be so happy. And Kathryn can’t even pretend they don’t have a say in it… Just that she won’t listen.

Just because she doesn’t

have

to do anything with her damage doesn’t mean she can’t be there for her friends. And in this case, she’s also doing it to save herself from abduction. A fourth time. Four is an ugly number anyway, she’d rather leave it at three.

“Yeah, as much as I would love to ghost my parents again, I can’t,” Pope agrees.

“Pope, we’re talking

El Dorado

here,” JJ reminds him. “Can you like, just slip out the back maybe?”

“Great advice,” Kie ironises.

“I mean, it always works for me. How to avoid unpleasant circumstances one-oh-one. If there’s a problem, you don’t wanna face it, turn that face and keister around and walk the other way.”

Kathryn snorts. “Yeah, that worked

so well

for us before. By the way, what happened to my dad’s boat?”

JJ makes a face at her. “That was unnecessary. I’m just spitballing here.”

Billy winces. “Maybe… don’t?”

“And besides, I’m not doing that, okay?” Pope tells him.

The blond sighs. “I just want you to be there, dog.”

“

I’m gonna be there

. I’ll meet you at the airstrip in an hour?”

“Yeah,” John B nods. “We’ll see you there.”

“One hour, Pope,” JJ warns him. “Not a second later.”

“As if you’d leave without any one of us.”
JJ glowers at Kathryn. “What?”

“Don’t go around sapping my authority, how are we meant to educate them?”

She throws her arms up in the air. “We’re

not

mom and dad!” Shaking her head, she turns to Cleo. “You should probably talk to Heyward. From what I’ve heard, he’s sweet on you.”

Cleo smirks. “Yes, mama.”

She rolls her eyes as they leave, Billy giggling silently next to her. “It’s not funny.”

“It’s a bit funny.” JJ tries his best to hide his smile, which just means he fails miserably.

Kie sighs loudly. “I guess I’ll go pack some stuff and break the news to my parents.”

If Henry and Max are forces to be reckoned with… Well, Mike and Anna Carrera might just be worse. In the sense that they’re trying to send her to some wilderness camp named Kitty Hawk, which… no. It’s so bad, she heard

Caroline

talk about it, so.

Kathryn winces. “You going to be okay?”

Kie manages to smile at her. “Yes, mom.”

“I’m going to hurt you.”

“Daddy’s gonna–”

Her eye twitches when she looks back at JJ. “Don’t call yourself that.”

He grins as he goes on. “Daddy’s gonna take a stroll back to the shack. For old time’s sake.” His smile falters as he walks away. “I always wanted to go to South America. Great surf, cheap weed… See you guys on the tarmac.”

Kathryn watches as he leaves, taken back to the bathroom, last night. He was going to say something to her, wasn’t he? Something swells in her chest. She has a feeling she really wants to hear it, before she goes out there and ruins every shot she has at being allowed outside when she comes back.

She also has a feeling a lot has been put behind them. And she’s not going to look back at it. She had been angry, when she thought that she’d never forgive JJ. As if he hadn’t been forgiven before he even said anything.

That was always how they rolled. Kathryn would never offer absolution, but JJ was always pardoned.

“We should go, too,” Billy says, watching JJ leave. “Maybe if we speak to Henry and Max together, it’ll be less…” She hesitates. “Bloody?”

Kathryn presses her lips together. “Wonderful. I’m

so

excited.”

Still, she waves at John B and Sarah, and goes to leave. She trusts the latter to take care of her best friend,

properly

, this time. She did get him out of jail. And she apologised, and John B forgave her. And Kathryn may be a little mean, but she’d always liked Sarah.

She doesn’t have time to dwell on it anyway. On top of having to prepare herself for the bloodshed that awaits her at home, JJ is waiting for her at the end of the docks. Apparently, she’s not the only one who wants to talk.

He’d said ‘I’m…’ last night. And he had already apologised by then. So what was he, if he wasn’t sorry? The thought sends her heart in a frenzy.

Billy smiles. “You know, I’ll just wait for you by the car. Let mom and dad talk.”

“

Wilhelmina Donovan

…” she hisses at her.

“I love you

lots

.”

The girl saunters away, tapping JJ on the back as she goes.

Kathryn walks up to him, wringing her hands. She’s not sure why she’s nervous. It’s

JJ

. When has she been nervous about JJ?

No, she doesn’t want answers to that question.

JJ leans against the wooden rail as she catches up to him, watching Billy walk away, skipping. “You think we’re raising her well?”

She groans. “I’ve

told

you before. We’re not mom and dad, we’re the weird aunt and uncle, if anything.”

He’s dead serious when he answers. “We can’t have children of our own? That’s sad.”

“No, we can’t, because I’m pretty sure someone stole your balls.” He chokes on his laughter. “Look. Last night, after I… tweaked. You were saying something…?” He fights back a smile. Her gut catches on fire. “And I get the feeling I want to hear it without you breaking up with me in the same breath.”

If JJ wasn’t going to say what she thinks he was going to say, this is beyond awkward. But no. No, the bastard’s lips are tugging up despite himself, and his blue eyes twinkle with mischief, and Kathryn

knows

she’s right.

“I’ll tell you what.” He bites his lip. “I’ll tell you on the plane.”

She laughs, the sound that haunts his dreams. “Is that how it is?”

“Yeah. Just to make sure you get on,” he shrugs. “You know, you look kinda scared–”

She huffs, wagging her finger at him as he walks backwards, away from her. “You’re a little bitch, you know that?”

He smirks. “Kiss me about it.” She gapes. “

Later

, KD, geez, not in front of the children.”

Kathryn’s cheeks burn, fumbling for her words. He always loved to leave her speechless. “Bet,” she lets out, not trusting herself for a full sentence. “I’ll hold you to that, Jay.”

He chuckles. “I’m sure you will.”

They’re walking in opposite directions by now, but neither one of them wants to look away. “Real mature of you, stalling. Guessing I was right about someone stealing your balls.”

“Nah, you know I do the stealing here, baby, that’s my job.” He clicks his tongue at her. “You’ll never guess what I stole from you.”

She turns beet red. “You’re a

sap!

”

“You’re blushing!”

Maybe there was some good to this.

🍓

This was hell.

Billy and Kathryn have been waiting in the car for more than ten minutes. “What if we tell them that you’re practically an adult?” Billy proposes.

“I’m

sixteen

,” she reminds her. “Just because you’re all seventeen now doesn’t mean I am.” She knew that being born in December would end up biting her in the ass. “What if I never ask for anything ever again?”

Billy stares at her. “Well, I wouldn’t say a bold faced lie will win them over.” She blows out a breath. “How about trying to win them over with your academics? Just say you’ll use that for your future Master’s thesis.”

Kathryn groans. “No! I’m studying myth, legend and history in

New England

, not South America.” She hits her forehead on her steering wheel. “They’re going to kill us. Or lock us up.”

“Or both…”

They still get out of the car, sighing. “I can’t believe I’m doing this to them again.”

Billy shakes her head. “No, that’s nothing like the island,” she promises. “At least now they know where you are.”

She tilts her head at her, locking the car. “Risking my life?”

Her friend answers something, she’s sure, because from the corner of her eyes, she can see her mouth moving. She’s too focused on the car pulling up. On the man getting out, gesturing at someone at the door.

On the ‘Kitty Hawk’ design on the van he was driving.

This is because she thought about it earlier, isn’t it? Like Chekhov's gun, but with her thoughts. She’s going to shoot herself with it, without being dramatic.

Who

is trying to send her to that sectarian wilderness camp? Henry and Max would never, Edward would rather die. If Caroline shows up, she’s biting things.

She processes what’s going at the speed of light. First, she’s not seeing South America. They’re going to try to take her away. If they’re here, they may not be the only team on the island. Recruiting might be happening at the same time. Kie’s parents talked about Kitty Hawk.

Kathryn can either climb back into her car and run them over. Or…

“Bills,” she says, voice low as the man walks to them. “Take my keys. Go warn Kie.”

“What?” Billy looks around, confused. “Warn her about what?”

“Kitty Hawk is getting new students today. Make sure she doesn’t go home, you got me?”

No, she doesn’t. She stares at the man walking up to them. “Who’s that?”

“Kitty Hawk,” she snaps. They don’t have time for that. She throws the keys at her. “Look, just do as I ask, okay? And tell JJ.”

Billy is stressing out. “Tell him

what?

”

“That apparently everyone wants a piece of me, and four’s an ugly number!”

Kathryn all but shoves Billy in the driver seat, closing the door. Billy drives off, a bit too quick to Kathryn’s tastes as it is

still

her car. Luckily for her, she’s quite busy at the moment.

She thinks being abducted three times has made her more chill about the ordeal. And Kitty Hawk is no Singh, or Rafe. Or

Caroline

. Surely she can manage the few hours before a certain someone comes up with a god awful plan to get her out. She fully trusts him on that, not a single doubt in her mind.

“Hey, Kathryn Elizabeth.”

“Eat a dick.”

She never said she was going to make it easy for them.

Kathryn hurries up the stairs, hoping that Henry or Max is home, but knowing that this it’s a Thursday, and her uncle is at work, and his fiancé is buying supplies for his bakery. Not to mention her dad’s vanishing act, aside from the occasional text.

She’s toast.

“I’m not gonna hurt you, I just want to talk to you,” the man calls after her.

Do people not hear themselves talk?

She reaches the door. It’s locked.

Okay

. She fumbles for her keys. The door opens.

The man behind it is at least a foot taller than her, and looks nothing like either one of her uncles.

“Oh, that’s great. Chip and Dale are here.”

Chip doesn’t seem to find her funny. “Look. This can go one of two ways.”

She makes a face. “Can you at least be inventive? This is my fourth time, I’d love to spice things up.”

As if to answer her, Dale walks up behind her, and grabs her by the arms. Kathryn thrashes against his grip, but she already knows she’s ending the day in Kitty Hawk, so it’s half-hearted at best. Even when she tries to bite him, she doesn’t draw blood.

Dale scowls, though. His grip on her tightens until it hurts.

“I’m sorry, Kathryn Elizabeth. I don’t have a choice.”

The British accent has never been more loathed. Caroline steps forward, behind the man. Of course. Kathryn doesn’t have a lot of choice when it comes to abduction, and it seems like history wants to repeat itself.

Caroline looks… Well, to be honest, she looks awful. Her mother is always well-kept, but her make-up is smudged, her hair is a mess, and her mouth looks like a crimson wound on her face.

“You do have a choice,” Kathryn says, the unfairness of it all bubbling against her skin. “You just keep making the

wrong one

.”

“I’m trying to help you,” she says through gritted teeth. “That doesn’t change.”

“Maybe it should!”

The man carries her away before she can swing at her, holding onto the fence, screaming at her all the while as they shove her in their pretty Kitty Hawk truck. ‘Kitty,’ uh. That’s irony right there.

In the truck, she puts her legs up against the window, laying down. She can guess that they’re taking aback at her sudden change in behaviour, but really Kathryn has seen this before.

Of course Caroline would try to send her to a wilderness camp. She preaches every other day that the Pogues are a bad influence on her, that JJ is the absolute worst, blah, blah, blah. Kathryn may be going to the place, but she was not staying. If push comes to shove, she escaped

Singh

. She’s sure a few guidance counsellors aren’t going to be too hard.

Chip sucks his teeth. “We understand how frustrated you must feel, Kathryn Elizabeth.”

She hums. “Sounds like you’re more pissed than me.”

He lets out a heavy sigh. “Is there anything you would like to share with us? This is a safe space.”

Kathryn smiles. She grins, even. All teeth, staring at the ceiling of the truck. Yeah. Yeah, there’s something she’d like to voice, right about now.

“My boyfriend’s

really

against this.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Listen. Kat Darcy is

fashionably

late. At times. Time can get ahead of her, and she’s what, a few minutes behind? At best? She’s too hung up about timing and schedule to actually be any more late.

So JJ is tweaking a bit, when he sees her red

Fiat

roll up a touch too slow, too safe. And when Billy and Kie walk out of it, well, all bets are off.

He practically teleports next to them. “Where is she?”

“They

gooned her

,” Kie eructs. “Caroline gooned her, and now she’s at some wilderness camp!”

Billy’s out of breath, holding a hand up, looking like she ran when she literally just

drove

there. “I can’t– I can’t remember the name, but she said… she said that everybody wanted a piece of her and that four was an ugly number?”

If she seems confused and honestly on the verge of breaking down several times, it makes immediate sense to JJ, who’s hands reach up to his hair, eye twitching.

“Kat got kidnapped

again?

”

Of course. That’s just his luck, their luck.

“What do we do?” John B cries out behind them.

“Do we have to do this without her?” Pope lets out, visibly pained at the idea.

Billy’s eyes bulge out of their sockets, but what can they do, really? Storm the place? John B’s dad is up for execution, and the thought of Kathryn alone in a wilderness camp makes her sick, but she’s not sure they have a choice.

She can help, she can try to reach her, but would that even work? She could prosecute them for their dubious methods, but that would take months. She’s not exactly a mastermind when it comes to this.

But someone here is.

“Give me the keys.” JJ turns to John B.

The teenager blinks. “No, dude. No, no.”

“

Gimme the keys

.”

He puts his hands on his friend’s shoulder. “It doesn’t seem like a good idea now, JJ.”

It never seems like a good idea, especially when it’s rushed, and Kathryn’s well-being is at risk, and JJ’s the one coming up with an idea. If he needs to, John B will remind him

who

wanted to storm Singh’s place on

horseback

.

Billy pokes behind the blonde. “I’m against leaving her there.”

“

So am I!

But my dad’s going to die, and to be fair, she sounds kinda safe in a wilderness camp.”

Cleo shakes her head. “Hate to agree.”

It’s true. It’s at least a lot better than protecting her by having her right under Singh’s nose. How can he get to that camp, or even know she’s there? … He almost wished he thought of that plan to protect his sister. Instead, it had to be done by a psycho.

“

Look

,” JJ cuts in. “Just give me an

hour

. It’ll be like a black ops mission, in and out. Surgical removal type shit!”

He is profoundly freaking out, his friend can see it. And of course it is, have you seen them? It’s JJ, and it’s Kat, and he’s not going to stop until he has the answer he wants. “You gotta be…”

It’s his turn to hold him by the shoulder. “Plus… I kind of owe her.” Realisation strikes John B, mouth ajar. “Gimme the keys.”

“Oh…?” He owes her now? For what, he does wonder. Ironically, of course, but he wonders.

JJ doesn’t seem too happy about that. “Stop making that face and

gimme the keys

.”

Well, who is he to come in the way of true love? At least, he knows that if JJ goes, he won’t stop until Kathryn is safe and sound.

He grins. “Okay. Well, yeah, you owe her, right, for breaking up with her? You owe her

biiiiiig

time.” JJ takes the keys from him. “I get it. I just appreciate the honesty. Also, why aren’t you taking her car?”

“I don’t wanna die.”

“Okay. Hurry back.”

“

Hurry

,” Sarah adds.

“If we hurry, we can maybe intercept them. Just give me an hour!”

Billy can’t exactly wait around and stand there, can she? Kathryn's family. She doesn’t have a lot of family, and if she’s scared of literally

everything

the Pogues have been doing, helping Kat trumps it all, really.

Besides, she’s the only one who doesn’t have John B screaming that they don’t have time, so. Max will just be a tad worried, but mostly preoccupied with keeping his fiancé from killing Caroline, she figures.

“Wait, JJ, I can help!” She’s not sure about that, but…

JJ just figures that the more they are, the easier it is to get KD back. That’s the only thing that matters at the moment, the only thought that occupies his brain. “Yeah, you can help, I’m fine with that.”

Billy opens the door to the passenger side. JJ climbs in through the window, for some ungodly reason.

“That door opens, bro?” Pope calls out after him.

🍓

Kathryn can’t fathom how dramatic this whole place is. It’s just a bunch of teenagers gardening, mowing lawns and painting rocks and just straight up walking around and it’s meant to be for their greater good? Just kill her, at this point, that’ll do

her

some

good

.

Not to mention the clothes? The stupid rules? She’s not meant to see outsiders, aside from her close family, for the first

six weeks?

Someone tell those idiots she’s out by

tonight

, god. She really can’t be arsed to play along right now.

Which is what she tells in great detail, to the camp counsellor sitting in front of her, in her office.

The woman blinks at her. “Well, thank you for sharing, Kathryn Elizabeth, and thank you for putting on our uniform.”

“I better have my clothes back soon, I

swear

to god.”

She sighs, crosses her fingers on the table. “Well, now, the good news is, we already have an extensive record of your conditions.” She opens a folder when the teenager arches a brow. “ADD, depression, suicidal tendencies, anxiety, PTSD… Quite the record.”

She sniffs. “Yeah, it was a package deal type situation.”

“... And with those, we have been able to diagnose a new one. ODD. Oppositional Defiant Disorder.”

Kathryn lets out a deep sigh. “Lady, that’s what we call anger issues.”

“Not quite. It’s consistent opposition to authority.”

Now, that’s a bit funny. “So what, just because I think I don’t owe you respect ‘cause you’re older than me, that means it’s a

condition?

Diagnose me with common sense next.”

The woman looks

real

tired of her antics, but oh, well. “As I was saying,

consistent

opposition. Now, fortunately, it’s very treatable with medication.”

Kathryn’s jaw unhinges. “

Meds?

You want to put me on meds because of my

personality?

Sweetheart, I don’t take medications for the conditions I actually have, I don’t see a world where you can force me to take those.”

“See that? That right there, your reaction? You just confirmed my diagnosis.”

“If you need it confirmed, something tells me you shouldn’t be in a position to hand out pills.”

“We can help with this. You just have to work with us.”

“Cool. I won’t.”

Her chair scrapes loudly against the ground when she stands up, flipping the woman off. Is she actually

insane?

Kathryn wagers she is. She’d also say she doesn’t seem very appreciative of her gesture, seeing as she’s escorted out by another pair of Chip and Dale.

The room she’s thrown in isn’t exactly

cosy

, but at least it has windows, and Kathryn doesn’t feel claustrophobic. What’s the point anyway? She’s getting out. But she’s got to say, the whole mental health assessment really spiced the kidnapping up.

They lock the door behind them, and she stays there, with only a

Sharpie

. Well, might as well pass time.

🍓

JJ likes to say that Kat’s an

horrendous

driver, but really, he’s not that much better. Billy’s holding onto her seat for dear life, but she can understand the certain

hurry

they’re in.

“Which wilderness camp was it again?”

She clears her throat. “I uh… I don’t remember.”

“You don’t–

great

,” he groans. “Super. Billy, that’s the

one

thing you had to do!”

“I’m

sorry!

” she retorts, her voice jumping an octave. “I was freaking out. Kat asked me to drive her car, and then announced she was getting kidnapped, a lot was on my mind!”

He exhales loudly, clenching his jaw, and Billy can see the absolute mess of nerves he is right now. “Okay, what

do

you remember?”

She closes her eyes, as if it’d help. “Um… I think there was a rainbow on the logo? And Kitty looked

so

relaxed, it made me more nervous. Like… How many times has she been kidnapped?”

He doesn’t look back at her, exasperated. “Four times now. My girl loves getting kidnapped, that’s for sure.”

Billy blinks at him. “Your… Aren’t you guys still separated?”

“No, yeah. I meant, like…” He swallows thickly. “... Spiritually. Look, can we focus here? A rainbow, that’s all you got, you sure?”

“Yes,” she nods. “Sorry.”

She can almost see the gears turning in his head, trying to think of literally

anything

to get him closer to Kat. Legal, illegal, who’s to say? She wishes she was, considering the person that’s driving her.

“Hold up. Hold up, my cousin, Ricky, he got sent to a wilderness camp. Billy, pass me my phone.”

She hesitates. “That's not very safe.”

“Yeah, we’ve passed that burning bridge.”

Billy hands him his phone, though she’s clearly unhappy with the whole thing. “That’s not a saying,” she mutters to herself.

At least, his cousin Ricky seems to answer fast. “Ricky,” JJ immediately starts. “What was the name of that wilderness camp that Uncle Larry sent you to? Remember the one I’m talking about? …

Ricky, screw your chickens right now!

I just need to know what’s the name of the wilderness camp that you got sent to in ninth grade because you got booted for being a perv?”

She nearly snaps her neck. “

What?

”

“Don’t worry, Bills– all right, my bad, all right? All I need to know is,

what’s the name?

” He turns to her. “Kitty Hawk Camp?”

Her eyes widen.

Oh

, she should have known this one. “That’s it!”

JJ lets out a long sigh of relief, before answering whatever his cousin is telling him. “Funny. All right, that’s all I need. Thank you for the information, cuz. I’ll talk to you soon. Give the best to the fam.”

He hangs up, but Billy is fairly certain that Ricky was still talking. “You know where Kitty Hawk is?”

He takes a left. “

Yep

. Bad news, we have to call John B, there’s no way we can intercept them.”

She blows out a breath, bracing herself as he turns. “Okay. Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“I’m thinking!” he cries out, putting the phone to his ear.

She holds her head in her hands. “This is the absolute worst,” she whines. “Just the fudging worst.”

“Yeah, little change of plans– did you just say ‘

fudging?

’ Nevermind, look, KD’s definitely already at the wilderness camp. So, uh, we’re gonna need about eight hours for liberation.” She can hear John B cry out on the phone. “I know dog, I know the clock is ticking. Just hold out as long as you can. If you gotta go, we’ll meet you there.”

“How?” Billy asks.

“I’m working on it, dude!” he snaps, talking to both her and John B. “Luckily, I’m a problem solver. Just stay in the

Matrix

, okay? I repeat–”

Billy and JJ yelp as something resembling a gunshot tears at their eardrums, and the Twinkie takes a hard left and a hard right, stops the van, and looks back.

A tire just exploded.

“

Damn!

”

He ends the call before his best friend can berate him. Billy climbs out of the Twinkie, leaving him to frustratedly punch at the console, screaming as he does.

She heaves out a breath. She sucks with cars. That’s

just

their luck, isn’t it?

“Do you have a spare tire?”

He opens the door, and stomps out. “I fucking hope so, because we don’t have time for this.”

He takes the tire out, handing her a crowbar, and she stands there a little dimly, waiting for him to do something. If she was Kat, surely this would be fixed quicker. But no, Kat was painting rocks on the other side of the island.

Lost in her thoughts, she barely notices JJ stopping what he’s doing. “What’s up?”

He turns around. A car is coming up to them, stopping right behind the Twinkie. He puts everything back, taking the crowbar from her, and bracing his arms against the trunk. “If Kat knows I got you into this, she’s gonna have my head, and my balls.”

She blinks. “Got me into what…?”

When she turns around, two men got out of the car. One of them is pointing a gun at the pair. This isn’t the first time she’s had a gun pulled on her. It’s the same fear that courses through her vein, making her teeth chatter, knees wobbly.

“

JJ?

” she cries out, alarmed.

JJ is too focused on the shotgun, looking back at the busted tire. He frowns, staring at the men. “Really? After

everything

you just put me through, and you just shoot out my… my friend’s tire!

That’s not even my van!

”

Billy gulps. That boy is

way

too chill about this. What is it with him and Kat?

“Who is that?”

He sighs. “Billy, Barracuda Mike. Barracuda Mike, Billy. I uh, moved weight for him, to get John B to South America. Did

not

go well.”

She makes a face. “He’s named

Barracuda?

” It’s not that it’s the only thing she remembered, it’s that it’s the only thing she can say without actively shrieking. The more she learns about JJ, the more she wants to know. Purely from a legal standpoint. She does

not

want to go to court for aiding and abetting.

The older man of the two, the one that’s not actively threatening them, shakes his head at her. “Your friend here lost my load. Now instead of me getting paid, I owe them. Which I guess means you owe me, right?”

“I know, Barr–”

“Get in the car!”

Billy turns to JJ, waiting for him to handle the situation, to get them out, but no. No, the only thing he thinks to say is;

“As much as I would like to, I kinda got a date, so…”

She stares at him. “Are you serious?”

The guy with the gun doesn’t seem to be too happy for him. “You heard him. Get in the car.”

The three stare at JJ, albeit with a very varying degree of worry. Billy is waiting for something to come up in his brain.

Anything

. Some stroke of genius, whatever.

“Okay,” he ends up saying. “If that’s how it’s gonna be. Look, I know you’ve heard the stories.” Awful start. She’s going to get killed by a guy named

Barracuda

. “About me and my friends, a little something called the Royal Merchant. A pile of gold, is that ringing any bells?”

Billy’s eyes fly from one to the other, frankly shocked that

JJ

, of all people, and from what she’s heard,

JJ

would be the one to spill the beans on their extracurricular activities, but she figures that helping Kathryn was worth more.

Barracuda Mike looks unimpressed. “I heard some bullshit.”

“Well, that bullshit’s real.”

“Yeah?”

“And yeah. We found it.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I saw. That’s why you got a bunch of dudes throwing your furniture in a dumpster out back your house? You’re living high off the hog, bro.”

Billy's eyes blow wide. She’s not a good liar, but JJ needs someone to confirm what he’s saying, otherwise, they’re gone, in the graveyard sense of the word.

“No, but that’s a, that’s a decoy, mister Barracuda, sir. It’s… a cover.” Her mouth is going quicker than her thoughts.
“It’s, um, it’s like, so, if you have to hide a fortune, you’re not going to, like, pay off a mortgage, right?” JJ stares at her. “

Right?

”

Barracuda Mike shakes his head. “Stop. Let me guess. You, uh… you got that gold. It’s buried somewhere in a barn, right? And if I just let you go right now, you’ll run right there, you’ll get it, we’ll split it, right?”

Is it? Is it their plan? If so, well, it just fell apart. Seeing as she’s

completely

out of her depth, JJ takes over.

“Not exactly. Actually, it’s a little sweeter than that.” He steps forward. The man raises his gun. “May I? Look, let’s just forget about the Merchant gold. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. We’re going after the main course right now. All right? We’re going after the mother lode. And

that’s

the truth, of why we need to get down to South America.”

Billy licks her lips. She knows a few people who would be fuming at the idea of JJ just casually telling a guy that seems

shady as hell

and she doesn’t even

know

how they met, about

El Dorado

, but. Kat was still in Kitty Hawk.

She can think of a few reasons why it was worth it.

“Barracuda, he’s telling the truth. Sir. Mike? It’s um… it’s a gamble, but you’re not risking much, are you?” Billy clears her throat. “You can, well, rough up JJ.” He makes a face at her. “Or you can get a lot,

lot

of gold. You just have to wait for us to get our friend, okay?”

JJ hums. “And a flight to South America.”

She shuts her eyes. “Lord have mercy.”

🍓

When someone came to collect Kathryn and put her in the tiny room on the pretence that someone was coming to visit her, she expected Henry, Max, or her dad. And then she remembered that they had mentioned

close

family.

Long story short, Kathryn is looking at a wretched reflection of herself, arms crossed, chin tilted up.

“You know, mum, I don’t see why you felt the need to show up so early.” She kicks her foot. “Unless you know JJ’s going to get me out.”

Caroline tsks. “If I put you here, it’s

precisely

so that no one will come get you.”

Her daughter inhales sharply. “Right, right. Is it that part of our conversation already? My friends corrupt me, I have always been a pristine little thing for you to play with, they ruin me, mum, we’ve been over this.”

Her hawk eyes on her make her uneasy, for a split second. This is the face of someone who knows something she doesn’t, and it’s a well-known fact that Kathryn

hates it

.

Unnerved, she scoffs. “You know, dad’s going to give you shit for this. If JJ doesn’t manage to break me out, he’s sure as shit going to come get me, we both know this.”

Her mother hums softly. Which is weird. She’s never seen that woman do anything soft. “I wonder if Henry ever tires of this.”

“Of

what?

” Kathryn barks out, not particularly liking the fact that her mother just mentioned her uncle. “You? Kidnapping me? Again? I should think so.”

Her mother doesn’t falter. On the contrary, her hand reaches up to her hair. “Of you, and that idolisation you have of your father. It’s quite a wonder, how you rewrite every memory, every little action.”

“My brain is huge, thank you.” She shakes her head. “Can we get to the part where you tell me why you’re here?”

Caroline doesn’t seem inclined to. “You’ve told me once, that your dad made you lunch boxes, for you, and your friends. That he read you stories before bed. Kathryn Elizabeth, dear, I’m not going to sit there and pretend it was me, but it wasn’t him. Henry was always too soft on you, and your little posse.”

Kathryn glares at her. How dare she? Even now that her dad was alive, she still felt the need to bad mouth him. “Whatever. You can make up every lie you want. Dad is a good man, mum. He’s at least a whole lot better than you are.”

“No, he is not.”

“Yes, he is!”

“

He’s not!

”

Caroline shrieks. She screams, at the top of her lungs. And suddenly, she’s crying, and Kathryn just stares at her, profoundly confused. Her mother has never cried. Not once. She’s never seen the hint of a tear on her perfect face.

And now she was sobbing on her chair, wiping her face, sniffling. It wasn’t an act. Kathryn had seen her mother lie, and pretend, and play a role to perfection. This wasn’t it. In fact, she quite recognised the bursting of emotions, when it became too hard.

She walks over to her, equal parts worried and fascinated.

“Mum? Are you okay?”

Caroline shakes her head. “Kathryn, I think you need to sit down for this.”

“... Fine.” Kathryn has never seen her mother in such a state. And truthfully, with what came prior, she’s terrified at what she’s about to tell her.

It takes a moment for Caroline to compose herself. It takes even longer for Kathryn to ready herself for whatever she’s going to dump on her.

“What I’m about to tell you is not a lie, okay?” she says, voice wavering. “I’m tired of lying to you.” Kathryn only braces herself, her mother finding back the will to hold her chin high. “Your father is not the good man you think he is.”

“Why–”

“No, no, you have to let me finish. I know, it’s hard for you to hear. You worship him, and I know that’s my fault, too. I never… I never wanted a child. And I didn’t know what to do with you.”

“Seemed to me like you knew it a bit too well.”

She clenches her jaw. Kathryn didn’t mind, that her mother said she never wanted her. She always could feel it. She always knew it, deep down. It was as logical as her saying the sky was blue. A known fact.

Caroline runs a hand on her face. “And perhaps, you’re right. But everything I’ve ever done has been to protect you. I’ve always said that. Haven’t I always said that?”

Kathryn fights against herself not to snap at her mother. She wants to see where this is going, the kind of truth she will unveil. “How? How was it to protect me?”

She takes a deep breath. “Your father, he… He always knew you were a gifted child. You could tell how long an object had spent in the ocean by the sedimentation alone when you were

ten

. By the time you were eleven he knew you would one day be able to finish his work, to succeed where he failed.

“His research led him to Carlos Singh. But Singh, he was too… calculated, too greedy. Much like Edward was, for himself. When he refused to translate his half of the idol or to help him because he was being used, Singh threatened him, and us.

You

. His girl.

“He told him that if he disappeared with his knowledge, he would come after you. But that didn’t matter to Edward, because he knew I would find a way to protect you, he knew that you would one day find a way back to him, to

El Dorado

. So he disappeared, and placed that target on your back.”

Kathryn is very still, as she listens to her mother, afraid to interrupt her. But when she says those words, she can’t help it, confusion, frustration and anger simmering inside of her gut. This could not be right. Her father was her idol. Her mom had to be lying. The honest tone of her voice, the vulnerability in her eyes, it didn’t matter.

“I went to Ward,” Caroline goes on. “Because I didn’t know what to do. Henry hated me, and Maxwell was a police officer. He said that he would protect you… if you tried to go out with his son.”

She stands up, the chair rattling, scraping the wood, and starts pacing. “Please, stop talking, mum.”

“I promise you, Kathryn, I did not know what Rafe was going to do.”

“And

after?

” she says, very quietly. “After? When you told me I was overreacting? That this was nothing?”

Caroline swallows thickly. “I am not a good mother. I married your dad because my mum wanted me to. I have had to force myself for him, before. Not that he’d know. I never said anything, and I needed you to be strong, to be

safe

, so that Ward would protect you, but you were crying, and all it reminded me was that I had

failed

. You were so much like me. It was the only thing I could see, at times. Maybe a part of me needed you to be like me.

“I didn’t understand then, what made you feel this way, because I could endure it. I don’t understand it now, either, but I try, even if it’s too late anyway. I want to try, because I will not let Edward destroy what we could have, not again.” She looks down. “I am not a good mother. I am not a good woman, either. So, I ran.”

Kathryn lets out a little laugh of disbelief, a hand raking through her hair. “Oh, my god. That’s why we went to London. That’s why I went to that private school – so that Singh wouldn’t get to me?”

Her mother nods. “Regularly, I got messages, from Edward. Telling me which classes you were meant to take, which book you were meant to read. You were even better than he’d hoped. And I thought… I thought it was going well. That once you’d point out the direction to

El Dorado

, there would be enough money for everyone, that Singh would get off our backs.”

Kathryn knows the rest. “And then I tried to kill myself.”

“You threw me a curveball.” Her daughter scoffs. “I had no idea what to do with you. I never had. I don’t know how to be a good mother to you, I don’t know how to do anything, because you remind me of

me

. You reminded me of the life I could have had, if I never married him, if I never had you. A version of me that could never be, that I could never have, and I had to watch you get it.”

“It wasn’t free,” she reminds her. “I didn’t just

get it

. I fought everyday to stay alive.”

“On this, we can agree. You needed help. I had to send you back to the Outer Banks. Edward, well, he didn’t care. Before you got to search for the Royal Merchant. Before

everything

that came with it. He realised that, why stop at

El Dorado?

You could find so much more, for him. Tie his loose ends.

“But I knew. I knew that Singh would eventually catch up, and I needed someone to watch over you, when you were out with your friends. It was harmless, at first, from far away. When you sent me to jail, I had to tell him to get closer, so that I knew how far you were going, who you were seeing, what you discovered. He obliged happily, even came up with a neat little lie as to why he suddenly sprung up into your life.”

Kathryn’s stomach drops. “Josh. You’re talking about Josh.”

“I guess I did tell him to go out with you, in a way. I paid him a hefty sum for his work. A shame he did fall for you, in the end. Well, for him, anyway.”

She cannot begin to explain the treason she felt, at the thought of Josh transferring schools for her, always showing up in the most absurd of places. “That

whore

.”

“When you affiliated yourself with Limbrey, I told Edward he had to come back. Singh would catch on, and I couldn’t protect you. You wouldn’t follow me to the Bahamas, and then, I was behind bars. I thought he wouldn’t listen. Why would he? He hadn’t cared about us, or you, in so long. But he did.

“Now, Singh has Big John, and his next target is you. Your father told him you could translate Kalinago, in exchange for a place when he discovers

El Dorado

.”

Kathryn nods, once. “So dad sold me off.”

“Essentially, yes.”

She raises a shaky hand to her hair. She hated the way everything clicked into place. The way it all made sense, the way her father’s idol was crumbling, her religion disappearing in front of her eyes.

They had tried to warn her so many times. Henry knew that Edward wasn’t a good father, because all her memories of him, had been of her and Henry. Lunchboxes, stories before bed, racing to the hospital after she headbutted the slide. They all morphed in her mind, taking back their original shapes.

Her dad resurfacing, mere days before Singh found her and her friends. He said he heard it from a contact. That contact just so happened to be Singh himself.

And still, Kathryn says, “Why should I believe you? For all I know, you could be the one working for Singh. Wanting to find

El Dorado

, and all. You’re not one to shy away from money.”

“While this is true…” Caroline shakes her head. “Well, despite the fact that I have a deep displeasure for that kid, I’m not the one who tried to drive you and JJ apart.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, Luke and I used to be friends. He didn’t take too well to my leaving, the same way his wife did.” The déjà-vu that hits Kathryn is nauseating. “And I hate a clingy man.”

“That’s

not

what I meant, mum. What do you mean, dad tried to drive me and JJ apart?”

Caroline chuckles, softly. “You don’t actually think

he

would break up with

you?

Edward blackmailed him, of course.”

The idol falls to the ground.

The world caves in on Kathryn. It spins and spins and spins, until darkness swallows her whole, and she has to sit back on the chair. A thousand of ‘that’s why’s plague her mind, swirling and twisting painfully around her heart.

That’s why JJ said to ask her dad about their breakup. Not to get back at her, but because

Edward

was the reason. That’s why he never said anything but that he was sorry. Why he wanted to stay friends with her, why he stole from her dad. Not Caroline, but him. He’d never wanted to break up with her in the first place.

All of it traced back to Edward. Down to Josh’s timely reveal of the plug’s theft. JJ and her had just kissed, and he had seen it. He knew he had to act. Make sure they would never get together, and it damn near seemed like they wouldn't, too.

Once the initial shock is gone, Kathryn feels bile rise in her throat, acidic, poison.

“What did he say to him?” she asks, through gritted teeth.

Caroline seems surprised. “Are you not interested as to

why

he would do it in the first place?”

“

No

. I want to know what that

bastard

said to JJ for him to think he didn’t deserve me.”

JJ had always been the sun. Kathryn had always worked very hard for him to know that, reminded him every time she’d look up at him, in every one of her kisses. She needed to know

what

Edward said that broke JJ so completely, he didn’t believe her anymore.

She needed to know what he said, so she could fix it, so she could take it all back.

“I don’t know. I

do

know that Edward needed you sharp, and focused. JJ distracted you. He… made you want to go to university, to have a normal life. Your father didn’t want that for you.”

Kathryn scoffs. “Then why did he speed up the acceptance project?”

Caroline tilts her head. “I think you know why.”

Right. To ask her to do

homework

on his journal. Which is how he knew she’d learn to translate Kalinago. And why he was able to tell Singh that little fun fact.

Betrayal ran deep in her veins, deeper than the blood she shared with him. A blood she wanted to rid herself of, wipe herself clean of. She needed him

gone

,

gone

,

gone

.

Her mother stands up. “I’ve said what I needed to say. Please, stay here, at least before your idiotic boyfriend comes to rescue you from your own salvation. I know he will try to keep you safe, but I am not sure that he will manage. Asking you to stay here is the only thing I can do.”

After everything she’s just told her? Not a chance. Kathryn was storming out with JJ the second he reached her, and punching Edward in the face.

But that suddenly became a second thought, as Kathryn looked in that twisted mirror of herself.

“Why now?” she asks.

Caroline takes a deep breath. “Because you were right.” She stands at the door. “I am sorry, Kat. For the poor excuse of a human being I’ve been, and the poorer excuse of a mother I am. You were right. I kept choosing wrong. I needed to choose right, just once.”

Her daughter gulps. “I don’t forgive you.”

She smiles. “I know. You are still, after all, my daughter.”

When the door shuts, anger dissipates, and Kathryn starts to cry over worshipping a god that turned out to be the monster at the end of this book.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy has to admit, for someone she thought up until then seemed very… careless, it’s admirable, the way JJ keeps focus to try and break Kat out of Kitty Hawk. One track mind, and it’s solely focused on her. When is it not, really…

“Okay, when we get up to them, wave and just act nice, okay?”

She looks back at JJ, making a face at him. “I don’t need to ‘act’ nice…”

He doesn’t answer as he slows the Twinkie down, a man walking up to his window, with a Kitty Hawk logo on his chest. “How are y’all doing?” JJ greets with the biggest grin.

“Can I help you?” Well, that’s not very nice.

“Hey there, uh, sir,” he stutters a little in surprise. “Camp counselor Laura, I’m her… I’m her brother. I was actually just gonna drop off her girlfriend here, just to say hi, if that’s okay.”

He gestures at Billy. She can’t help but do what JJ asked and grin madly too. They must look like they’re on drugs, there’s no other way. “We just wanna say hi! I miss her lots, I just uh… came in… from the Oxford. The university. Oxford University.”

JJ grits his teeth. “It’s real quick. I promise, just in and out. That all right?”

The man takes a deep breath. “Yeah. Go ahead.”

He starts the van, waving at them with a grin, Billy behind him doing the same. Once they’re out of earshot, she turns to him.

“Do I just

look

gay, or did you panic?”

He splutters. “Woah, okay, so like, that’s not what I meant.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “You’d be right, though.”

They get out of the van, Billy looking around the place. Kitty Hawk looks… like the kind of place Kat would end up setting on fire, if she’s going to be completely honest.

“What do we do now?” she asks JJ.

“Uh…” He looks left, then right, at stops in front of a cabin, guarded by an old man. This is like

prison

. “Hi there, sir, uh, we’re looking for… we’re looking for the office. Uh, is there a main lodge or something?” The man points to their right. “Right down there? Appreciate it.”

She follows him around like a lost puppy. Billy went to

law

school, she could recite to him about all the laws they just ignored, not actually commit the crimes.

“JJ?” she calls out after him. “Do we have a plan?”

“Uh, yeah, duh.” He doesn’t look back at her. “Get Kat back.”

“Is that

all

the plan?”

“... Kinda. I’m sure I’ll figure somethin’ out.”

Billy tries very hard not to rip out her hair.

They walk to the main cabin and into the office of a woman that

looks

nice. Billy highlights that maybe she only

looks

so, because she’s trying to break someone out of her camp where people are apparently doing manual labor to get better. Again, Kat is going to set the place on fire.

“Hiya!” Billy greets.

“How’s it going, ma’am?” JJ immediately goes on after her. He tries to close the door behind them, but fails a couple times.

“Can I help you kids?”

“We have a message for one of your campers here. Um… Uh, her name is Kat– Kathryn, uh, Elizabeth. Darcy. That’s a mouthful, uh? She’s here, right?”

The woman shakes her head. “Unfortunately, we’re not allowed to do that. You’re not even supposed to be here on campus.”

Billy’s eyes bulge out of their sockets. “She’s not allowed to have

messages?

That’s mean–”

“Okay,” JJ cuts in. “It’s… it’s just that it’s very important… May we sit?” He doesn’t wait for her answer to do so, dragging Billy down by her shoulder. “A very important matter, ma’am.”

“Oh, I’m sure it is, sweetie, but we have a policy. No contact from the outside world for the first six weeks.”

“Six

weeks?

” Billy parrots.

That… Well, this can be legal, but she wished it wouldn’t, because it sounds like torture, especially to someone like Kat. She barely made it out of London, how can they expect her to just…

JJ stops her train of thoughts, eyes glued to the woman’s cat photo, sitting on her desk. “Right… Ma’am. It’s actually a family matter, and, uh… I’m… I’m related to her.” Billy side-eyes him.

Gross

. “I’m her cousin, and Billy here is her, like, aunt.”

She opens and closes her mouth. “Yeah, that’s true.” She

is

her uncle’s sister through marriage, so. She’s just not particularly fond of

hearing

it.

“So, look, I know you got a policy and all, but there’s just been something that happened recently that…” His voice wavers, actual tears forming in his eyes. Billy stares in awe. “You know what? I’m getting a little emotional right now, so I think we should go. I’m sorry. We shouldn’t even be here, like you said, so we’ll leave you alone.”

He stands up, his accomplice following, confused as ever. “Uh… bye, ma’am.”

“But before we leave.” She stops dead in her tracks. “Could you just let her know, um… just that, uh…” He chokes back a sob. Billy has to admit he is a good liar. If they don’t find any gold, he can always become an actor. “...Fish didn’t make it?”

The woman’s face falls. “Who’s Fish?”

“Fish is her best friend. A Siamese mix, and um, yeah, it was really sudden. And you know, uh, the fryer shouldn’t have been there, and he just fell, so…” He snaps his fingers. “He’s in a better place now. But, um, could you just let her know for me? I’d really appreciate that. Thank you, ma’am. You have a great one.”

He leaves, Billy awkwardly waving at the woman as she follows. She has no idea what that was about, but she hopes he just did something very smart, because she just lost a whole lot of brain cells trying to decipher that.

“Fish got fried?” she asks him. “That’s the message you want to give her?”

He smirks, all traces of sadness gone from his face. “Yeah, it is. Now, we hide and see from which cabin she gets Kat out, and that’s the one we’ll bust her out of tonight.”

Billy stares at him. “Okay, that’s not such a bad plan.”

🍓

Kathryn lies in the bed of her little prison room, holding her

Sharpie

to her chest. She tries not to think about everything her mother dumped on her, tries not to let it weigh her down. For so long, she’d idolised her father, made him her god, worshipped the ground he walked on.

Where did that get her? Nowhere good, she can tell you that for sure.

The only thing that plays in her mind is the fact that he made JJ break up with her. This… Now, she could try to understand the rest of what her mother told her, she could try to pin some of it on her own interpretation of facts, she could even pretend that she was lying.

But going after JJ, that was

too damn far

.

If anything was going to knock her father down from his pedestal, it was

this

. It was the fact that it had been staring at her right in the face, and she didn’t pay attention because she was too

blinded

by the sight of him. She should have remembered, really, that JJ was always the sun. Her father is just some faraway star burning brighter as it dies.

She even drew him drowning in the sea, on the wall to her left. She got bored.

“Kathryn Elizabeth? Sweetie?”

Who the fuck?

“Can you come out here?”

She stands up from her bed and walks to the door, wiping remnants of tears from her cheeks. “Yeah, as soon as you unlock the bolted door.”

They do. Kathryn steps outside, taking a deep breath of fresh air. Even if the room has a window, it was still starting to get a little claustrophobic, in there.

She thinks the woman in front of her sounds and seems nice, but really, considering everything… “I’m sorry, sweetie, but at Kitty Hawk, we feel you have the strength to hear all the news, including bad news.”

Kathryn stands there, staring the woman down, arms crossed on her chest. “You know what, considering the last two hours I just went through, I’m going to believe you.”

“Right, well, your cousin was here a minute ago.”

She blinks at her. “Who?” Either Henry and Max adopted someone the second she got out, or she’s got some

severe

amnesia.

“A young man, blond.” Oh. “With an asian girl, very nice.”

Oh.

Is it stupid to hope it’s JJ and Billy? Maybe. She’s still gonna, considering she

knows

the former is coming for her.

“What did he say?”

“He asked me to tell you that Fish, well, he passed away.”

Well, now you lost her. “Like, Albert Fish, ‘cause…”

“No, your Siamese mix, Fish.” Right, yeah. A cat she definitely has, considering Henry isn’t allergic at all, mhm… “He was… He fell into a fryer.”

She nearly snorts. What, so Fish got fried?

Oh, my god. Fried fish. His favourite fish to fry. That absolute

sap

of a boy.

But that means

JJ

and Billy are definitely here, they’re coming for her, and, now, she just has to make it believable that her cat named Fish died, so that they wouldn’t find them suspicious.

Kathryn quickly brings tears to her eyes, raises a hand to her mouth. “Oh, no. My Fish. When?”

“We got the news just after you arrived. We thought you should know,” she says, clearly more affected about the whole ordeal than Kathryn herself. “Oh, come here.”

“Oh, that's not–” The woman is already hugging her. “Okay. You know, I think I should stay alone a bit longer. It’s just very hard right now.”

The woman nods. “Oh, of course, sweetie.”

She gently lets her go, and lets Kathryn walk back inside the cabin.

She sits on the bed. And smiles.

“

Idiot

.”

🍓

Kathryn can’t sleep. About four hours earlier, they tried to relocate her to some other cabin, to which she replied that if she has to sleep around other people, she’ll harm herself. After seeing the drawings on the wall, mainly of her dad drowning, sometimes of a fish being fried, they figured that warranted her some more time off.

Does she hate being alone with her thoughts, especially right now? Yes, very much. Her anxiety however absolutely hated the idea of sharing a room, so that works better. She wished she had her phone, or just

something

to distract herself with, while she waits for Billy and JJ to enact whatever plan they have.

The plan being bickering right in front of her door.

“I’m not staying out!” Billy hisses at JJ.

“Billy,

please

, I just need five minutes alone with Kat, I want to say something to her–”

“Tell her on the plane!”

“It can’t wait!”

Billy crosses her arms, leaning back to stare at him. “You’re going to kiss her silly, aren’t you?”

JJ’s cheeks tinge pink. “... If I’m lucky.”

“

Ugh

, fine. Gross, but fine.”

Kathryn is still staring at the ceiling, still waiting. She should try to sleep, at least time will pass quicker. At least she won’t

think

about all the horrible things Edward must have said to JJ. What kind of things he held against him.

It makes her sick. She loved her dad. He was the best man around.

That was always the problem.

The door creaks. Kathryn jumps up in bed, nearly hitting her head on the wall. Lights out was three hours ago. It’s night outside. Prime time for a break out, if she was JJ Maybank.

Her heart hammers in her chest, her hands go a little clammy, and she curses that god awful shirt, and she curses herself for not seeing that JJ never wanted to break up with, and she curses–

JJ opens the door. There’s nothing else to think, as he just stares at her with big, round blue eyes.

“KD,” he breathes out.

Nothing else matters much, after all.

Kathryn flings herself at JJ, who catches her, running up to her. She feels him chuckle against her, holding her waist tight to him. The sound is drowned out, muffled by her hair. She parts, hurriedly, because if she doesn’t do this now, she never will. She’ll never have the courage to admit out loud that her father was the worst man alive, for what he did to him.

“JJ–”

“I know. I know, it’s a long story. No time to explain though.” She frowns. What’s he on about? “Wait, there’s one thing though. You know how you asked me what I was going to say last night, and, um, KD, I just… I wanted to say–”

She grabs his face in her hands. “

Wait.

I need you to hear me say this, first, before you say anything to me. I

know

what my dad did.”

She feels his jaw unhinge. “Okay, look–”

“No, my mum explained everything. My dad’s just a

bastard

who sold me off to Singh because he knew I could translate Kalinago.”

His grip on her arms tightens. “He

what?

”

“

Listen

, JJ, please. I’m sorry that I didn’t push more when I knew it was weird that you’d break up with me, and I’m

sorry

I didn’t listen when you tried to warn me, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me, and I’m sorry for anything he’s said–”

“KD.”

“No, no, because I should’ve known, and if I hadn’t been so hung up on him, I would have, and–”

“

Kat.

”

“And I want to know what he said. Because none of it is true, and I swear, I’m going to find him, and–”

“I love you.” Her voice dies out in her throat. “So just– will you stop apologising? I don’t

care

what he said. Not anymore. I

love

you, KD.”

Her gaze softens. She had been dead wrong, when she told him it wasn’t worth much. Nothing would ever come close, really. Nothing mattered

more

, not right now, not ever. And oh, she should have known that sooner.

Kathryn always

came back

. And JJ was always waiting.

She smiles. Any trace of arguing is gone from her mind, utterly filled with sunshine, to the brim. “You’re not saying it to break up with me again, are you?”

“God, no,” he says. “Never again.”

“Good, because I love you, too.”

JJ kisses her, softly, a hand reaching up to cup her cheek. It’s like being kissed by him for the first time, her stomach tightening, butterflies everywhere, the sun shining on her face in the middle of the night. She keeps her hands on his cheeks, keeping him close, never letting him go again.

She had missed

this

. The softness of it all, the feeling that everything would be okay, as long as she could hold his hand, and peck his lips. His company, him. Feeling him against her.

She thinks this is how it was always meant to be. Kathryn kissing JJ.

Even when they part, she keeps her hands where they are, her forehead resting against his. “You could be in South America getting some

gold

, right now, you absolute moron.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, I stopped caring when you weren’t there.” Her cheeks burn at his words.

But if he manages to quiet her thoughts for a moment, they always end up coming back. “Jay… I need to know what he said, so I can make it right.”

His lips ghost over her forehead. “You already did.”

She frowns, leaning back. “How?”

JJ just kisses her again.

“Idiot,” she breathes out against his lips.

“Thank you, I try.” He swallows thickly, as if fighting against his instincts. “Look, I’ll explain later, I promise. But right now, we have to go. Billy is going to kill me.”

“Billy?” Kathryn immediately leans back. “Forget her,

I’m

going to kill you.”

“You just said you loved me?”

“That was before I remembered that you brought Billy.”

“Actually, she spontaneously joined me. So, like, not my fault, chief.”

Not only do they know that they don’t have time right now, Kathryn also knows that JJ doesn’t want her to have more on her plate, not right now. He knows she’s already trying to torture herself over what her father

could

have said, already grappling with the fact that the man is nowhere near the idea she had of him.

She needs more time before he tells her. She deserves that, at least. Just the tiniest of breaks.

Which is why Kathryn doesn’t fight him, and lets him take her hand, dragging her out and away from Kitty Hawk.

Billy is over the moon, at the fact that their plan succeeded. Mostly because she was terrified of going to actual prison for what they did, but also for the dumb smile JJ and Kat share, holding hands as they run away.

She figures, things can go well for them, sometimes.

Sometimes.

John B had been right. Hell,

Caroline

had been right. Kitty Hawk was safe, for Kat. And from what she’s been telling them about her dad, it was safe from him too, seeing as he was still pretending to be dead and hiding at the Palace.

Well, Kathryn was no longer in Kitty Hawk.

And, decidedly, Edward was no longer at the Palace.

“Kitten–”

The trio freezes. JJ’s grip on Kathryn tightens, but it doesn’t matter all that much, as Edward walks towards them, in the middle of the road, away from Kitty Hawk. His car is parked further down, unlocked.

She’d never hated anyone more than she did her father. For all the love she had for him. What was left of it festered. She wanted him

gone

, and away from JJ.

She puts herself in front of her boyfriend.

“Don’t come any closer.”

Realisation is obvious on his face. Kathryn knows something that he never told her. And that meant trouble for him. “I can explain.”

She scoffs, JJ’s eyes flying from one to the other. Their similar quiet anger made him sick.

“Yeah, I really do

not

want to hear it.”

Kathryn didn’t care for his reasons. She was past caring about reasons, the only thing that mattered was that her father

did

sell her off, that he

did

crumple JJ’s confidence and that, above all else, he

did

betray the man she thought he was.

“I had to,” he pleads like he did, when he came back from the dead. “I had to, Singh has been threatening me, and I don’t know how to do the things you do. I had to find a way.”

But she isn’t listening anymore, and she never will again. “I can’t believe I’m still hearing it.”

“C’mon, KD,” JJ mumbles next to her. “Let’s just go.”

Kathryn looks back at him. God,

what did her father say to him?

JJ never liked a fight, but this was different. This was him, scared that somehow, her father would change her mind again. As if this would ever happen.

Edward bristles. The grip JJ had on her made it hard to manipulate her. Maybe that was why he needed him gone in the first place. “Boy, if you know what’s best for you, get away from my daughter.”

When he stepped out of the shadows, Billy thought that JJ was going to go the slightest bit insane, for trying to keep him and Kat apart, for everything he had put her through. She figures she might,

herself

, yell at the man. He’d

used

Kat, for god’s sake!

She didn’t expect Kat to stomp forward, and slap him across the face.

He holds his cheek, as she points a menacing finger at him. “I don’t care what you have to say. You’re

not

my dad. My dad and the idea I had of him died at sea five years ago. You’re just some pathetic bloke who can’t do anything to save himself.” Her lips tremble, before she presses them into a fine line. “And I wish you never came back.”

And Kathryn means every word.

From up close, she watches the face of her fallen god, desolate, pleading, and feels nothing. She feels nothing for the man who’d used her, all her life, for his own little purpose. The man who took the

one

good thing she had away from her, because she got too comfortable.

Nothing

, but pity. How low did he have to sink, to use that kind of religious love against her? To taint it?

Her father wasn’t a good one. And he wasn’t a good person, either. But where Caroline’s disinterest of Kathryn could be understood, her father’s

interest

would never be pardoned.

He seems to realise, that he is past forgiveness, and explanations. He even understands that Kathryn will hate him forever solely for what he did to the boy who held her head, glowering at him, now a few steps behind her.

But Edward had known. He was calculated. He was smart. He knew that if he talked to JJ, Kathryn would get rash, she would get physical. Her anger was Darcy.

“I am your dad,” he says, and she scoffs. “And I’m sorry that it was your mistake.”

Kathryn smells ether before she feels the sheet on her face. Next thing she knows, she’s falling to the ground, and her father throws her over his shoulder. The rest fades to black, JJ stepping forward is the last thing she sees.

“

What did you do?

”

“Kitty?!”

Edward raises a gun at the two. Billy has to hold JJ back. The world tilts off its axis. The father of the girl he loves is threatening him, and he isn’t smart enough to back down.

“I

need

her. I need her to get to

El Dorado

, you don’t understand,” he says.

Billy gapes, mortified. There’s not much else she can do, besides holding onto JJ’s shirt for dear life. “You just knocked out your own daughter?” he cries out, jaw clenched.

“Nothing bad will happen to her. I’m taking her to South America, she’ll translate the idol, and I’ll bring her back here.

Unharmed

. She’ll just be doing me a favor.”

“A

favor?

” JJ repeats. “You goddamn knocked her out!”

Billy thinks she’s going to be sick. “You can’t do that,” she lets out. “What’s Henry going to say?”

But Henry was the first to know that his baby brother wasn’t a nice person. He was the first person to warn Kathryn and, in a sense, he had been the first victim, when he found himself raising his niece. He would do it twice over, of course, but that wasn’t the point.

The point was that both Henry and Edward knew what kind of man he was. And he wouldn’t be ashamed of it.

“I think Henry will be happy when I come back home with a piece from

El Dorado

.”

“Like hell he will,” JJ seethes. “You’re not leaving with Kat.”

Edward shoots at JJ’s feet. Billy yelps, and tugs him closer to her.

No, no, no

. If JJ gets shot, Kat is going to be

so

pissed. She feels his arm tremble between her fingers, the same way they shake around him.

“You’re not stopping me, kid. Be happy that I won’t go to the cops when I come back here. We both know I could have you thrown in jail. Living in a house illegally? Helping your dad flee the country? And you just had to steal from me, well, thank you for that one.”

She watches JJ work his jaw, stepping back next to her. If he gets thrown in jail, he won’t be able to help Kat. It suddenly becomes very clear that they won’t be going to South America with her. They’ll have to meet her there, then.

The worst part is the way they stay still. The gunshot is still in their ears, ringing. They are both locked away in memories they shouldn’t have, giving room for Edward to speak, to do whatever he wants, to get away.

He readjusts his grip on his daughter, opening the door to the car. “That’s what I thought. Thank you, also, for getting her out of that camp for me. Caroline can be a real hassle, don’t you agree?”

“

Fuck

you.”

“That’s not very elaborate, but coming from you, I shouldn’t be surprised.”

He turns around, putting Kat in the backseat, closing the door. JJ is practically vibrating with anger.

“Next time I see you, I swear, you’re

dead

.”

He means it with everything he has. And JJ always hated to break his promises.

Edward hums. “Next time you see me, JJ, I’ll be rich, and you’ll still be that kid on the Cut who tried to drag my daughter down. Do

not

come after me.”

The only sign of his words hitting JJ is the barest blink. Billy’s eyes are filled with tears, next to him, even as she steps forward.

“I don’t understand. Don’t you love her?”

She tries. She tries to tug at his heartstrings, to get him to let go, to just give up on whatever this is, and see Kathryn as more than an object, as more than what she sees herself. To just see her for who she is and not what she could do for him.

He nods, once. “I do love her. She’s just more useful to me than loved.”

His car door slams, and he drives off, taking Kat with him.

JJ shouts, kicks the floor, anything he can find. Kat had said that four was an ugly number. She just had to make it five. She

just

had to, didn’t she? And now she was going to South America, with Singh, and Big John, and she had been

terrified

the first time around and the thought of her crying in his arms when he got her back that time made him sick to his stomach.

When Billy realises that JJ is close to crying, too, she puts a hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll get her back,” she says.

“I

know

,” he answers, because he won’t stop until they do.

She tugs at his arms. “Come on. Barracuda Mike must be waiting for us.”

Us

. That plane ride was meant for two.

Billy mentally apologises to her brother. But Kat was her sister, too. And she knew what it felt, to have parents who used you more than they loved you. She couldn’t let Kat go through that, not alone. Not without her.

And she couldn’t leave JJ alone, either. She saw the way she reacted. She felt him tense up and shake against her. Billy was scared of what she was about to do, but so was he.

It still needed to be done.

“I’m coming with you,” she tells JJ.

He sniffles, then nods. “Yeah, you can help, I’m fine with that.”

At least, Billy knew that they wouldn’t stop until JJ could hold his girlfriend again. She could find solace in that. It’s a shame it was the only thing.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn is at least thankful that she was knocked out for most of the plane ride. She never went to South America, before, and she didn’t mind not seeing it from above. She neither trusted herself to calm down on her own, or her father to even try and comfort her. The only thing she found solace in was the fact that neither JJ or Billy were here. Considering who her father was apparently best buds with…There’s not much else to be thankful for, considering she sits in an empty bedroom, waiting for Singh to, what? Come threaten her into translating the idol? Kathryn would just pretend like she doesn’t care what happens to her body. It doesn’t belong to her.
Well, whether this was truth or comfort, how was she to know?Edward opens the door, and finds her glaring back at him. It seems she has been stuck like this for some time now, glaring and glaring because who was that man in front of her? All the things he had done to her, to JJ, they all rewrote the myth of him. She didn’t recognise him.“What do you want?” she spits out. “Trying to test my tolerance to kidnapping? Because it’s waning.”Edward sighs, a plaintive little sound. “I wanted to apologize.”She hums. “Okay. You can go now.”He doesn’t go. In fact, he goes as far as to sit down in front of her, on a sofa that’s got to be flea-ridden from the looks of it. Or maybe the fleas came from him, who’s to say.“I’m not leaving until you understand my side of things, Kat.”She flattens her lips together, scoffing softly. “Fine by me, you’ll be dead before I am.”“Kitten–”“ No , no, you don’t get to tell me anything, you don’t get to call me anything but my name,” she orders, voice firm. “You put me in this mess, and I’ll be fucking damned if I let you take charge of it, too.”He winces, but she doesn’t care. Kathryn was like that. Edward not only lost her trust, but her love, and there was no coming back from it. She wouldn’t mourn it, either, she would treat it as a fact .
For the first time, in what might be years, Kathryn was glad to be Caroline Bennet’s daughter. Fire so easily turned to ice in her veins.
Edward takes a deep breath. “I can gather what Caroline must have said about me, the broad strokes of it.” She barely acknowledges him. “And… And I wish I didn’t have to use you, like I do. Because I do love you. You’re my kid. And you deserved a better dad, Kat.”“I have one,” she tells him. “I forgot, for a moment there, blinded as I was by your fucking ghost, but I have a better dad. I’m Henry’s kid. And you betrayed him too.”He bows his head at the mention of his older brother. “If… if you have any questions, about my motivations, or…”“I do, actually.” Kathryn raises her chin. “What did you tell JJ?”He goes still. Then, he frowns. “Of all the things your mother must have told you, that’s what you want clarification on?”“ Yep . What did you tell him? What did you say, that got into his brain and ingrained the idea that I didn’t deserve him, or that he didn’t deserve us? Because I have a feeling it’s going to make me hate you much easier.”He still stares at her, and she has to admit that she dislikes how stupid he makes her feel, with that single glare. Like he expected something different, something more than what she asked, like he has the whole situation in his hands, and she’s just playing his game.Much like he did when he mentioned JJ. He knew she would lose her calm, that she would walk up to him. The slap might have surprised him, but that was it. Kathryn had gotten close enough for him to push the chloroform on her nose, just like he knew she would.
“Kat, you do realise that… I mean, Caroline must have told you that I was never the man you thought me to be. That you’ve lied to yourself your whole life, and the lie just fell through, and you’re asking me what I did to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings?”She shrugs. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”Not that she didn’t care, that her father was a lying cunt. Of course she did. But oh, she should have known , and the only anger towards this knowledge was directed at her, and the lie she told herself, of who he was.
If she hadn’t idolised him like she did, maybe none of this would have happened, and this, this was on her.
What he did to JJ, now, that was a different matter. A driving force, really. Everytime she faltered, and found herself feeling for the man in front of her, she reminded herself of the broken look on JJ’s face as he told he loved her, as she told him that it wasn’t worth anything. Had her father said the same thing to him? The whole thing made her sick.“This is exactly why I had to force you two apart, do you realize?” She sets her jaw, eyes blazing. “You were too… emotional .”Her face stretches in a grin. “I’m sorry? ”“My life was on the line, Kat,” he tells her, whining. “Singh was threatening me, telling me to translate an idol I didn’t understand, and you were my only hope. And I learned that you were fawning over the same boy, as what, five years ago? I panicked.”“Right, you panicked, but I was the emotional one,” she casually repeats to him. “Go on, I’m sure I’m going to like where this is going.”He barely clenches his jaw at her remark. “And then you walked in with that boy, and you told me everything that happened to you, I thought you’d be strong. Those experiences should have made you strong, but you clinged to that boy.” He tsks. “How could I not think that my sacrifice wasn’t in vain? You were weak. You seemed at peace, and I needed you at war.”Kathryn stares at him. Seems like they were two to tell the truth when pushed too hard. Edward so casually revealed what he thought of his daughter, once she’d angered him, that it was almost laughable, if the words didn’t feed a fire that never died out, never will, and she was grateful for it.Because Kathryn didn’t care, that she had moments of vulnerability, that she was weak, and that was something her father would never understand. It was something that Henry had wanted for her. To be soft. It came with a cost, and she’d pay it twice over to escape the numbness that was her life before coming back to the Outer Banks.
“I can’t believe you’re giving me the worst fucking ‘love makes you weak’ speech I’ve ever heard,” she says, laughing to herself a little. “I don’t think you understand the kind of strength it takes me to be gentle. But that’s fine, because you’re a big man, and women with emotions mean weakness, right?“You want to know what I did, while being in love with JJ, and so, so weak? We figured out where the Royal Merchant was, where the gold was, we found the Cross of Santo Domingo and Cecilia Tanny's grave. That’s not a bad record, I should think.“And where were you again? Oh, that's right. Sitting on your lazy arse waiting for me to do your job.”
A muscle trembles in Edward’s jaw, but to be fair, she doesn’t care. “I had to protect myself.”“Yeah, like a pussy .”
She revelled in the look of pure frustration on her dad’s face. She had no time to spare him, if he was going to spew this type of nonsense, instead of just answering her questions.She leans forward, all smiles. “But don’t worry. I’ll translate your idol. And then I’ll get home, I’ll tell Henry about you, and I’ll never see you again. Dad .”He hesitates, between the anger he feels for her, and the fact that she just presented him with El Dorado on a silver platter. Kathryn knew what her dad would choose, in the end. After all, she was better used, right? And it’s not like it mattered, what he’d do with her, move her body from one spot to the other. It didn’t belong to her, after all.This became less and less like a truth and more like a comfort, as it was so often robbed from her. The less she had control over her body, of what people did with it, with her, the more Kathryn realised, this was her. Those people were using her.
She was the only one who dissociated with her bones.
It hurt more that her own father was the one who forced her to realise it. Her own disregard of herself had brought her here . Everyone wanted a piece of her, she’d said. She never mentioned how she let them.Not anymore.🍓Kathryn hugs Big John close to her. The older man pats her back, and squeezes her in return, engulfing her completely. At the very least, she’s glad that he’s alive. A shame that she got to him before any of the others, though.“Bee was worried sick about you,” she tells him.“I know, I’m sorry,” he gruffly responds. “It’s my own damn fault, too.”She wants to ask, but Singh is in the room, watching them, circling them. Her dad is god knows where, but she’s happy he isn’t here right now. Now’s not the time, and it won’t be the time ever again, she figures. She doesn’t plan on staying here, one way or another.“There she is, our intrepid translator,” he greets her. “Miss Darcy and Mister Routledge, leading the charge on the road to El Dorado .”She would almost be proud of that title, if it wasn’t for the men walking in with him. Armed. Kathryn swallows thickly. Singh is not an easy man to escape, this, she remembers.“Look, Carlos,” Big John starts, “it’s not like we’re translating French, all right?”“ Ah bah ça, c’est sûr ,” Kathryn hums.“Even with Kat’s help, we need more time,” he asks.Kathryn isn’t exactly up to date, with the deadline, or the stakes, or the threats Singh undoubtedly threw his way, but going by how worried Big John looks, it can’t be good.Sing scoffs. “Of course, of course. You have a few hours. Prove to me the kid is worth keeping alive, John.”Well, at least, now she knows.They leave the pair together for a couple of hours, Kathryn cramming every sigil she remembers, not touching the idol that sits so prettily on the table, that she’s afraid to break, or something. Her own life is on the line, but…When the third hour starts, Big John throws his glasses on the table.
“It’d help if we knew which order to read it with.”“Yeah, um, they didn’t exactly leave us indications…” She licks her lips. “When Singh said he’d kill me, he was joking, right? We might as well be the only ones who can translate this thing.”Big John stands up, and walks to the window. Locked. And by that, Kathryn means with an actual padlock. “Kat, once we translate it, they’ll kill you, and me.”Her heart hammers in her chest, adrenaline coursing through her. “Right. Right, cool.”The prospect of dying to Singh, though she has felt it before, isn’t exactly all that joyful , not to mention her best friend’s dad is with her now. Whether she translates it or not, she’s dead, if the situation doesn’t change.Her body is hers. She’d hate to lose it again.She watches with worry as the old man runs around, before picking up a small, metal piece, twisting it around. “Big John, I feel like what you’re doing is just speeding up the process.”“Nah…” He inserts the piece in the padlock. “It’s just like old times back in the old Pogues days, hey.”With a grunt, he unlocks it, and gestures for her to come closer. Kathryn can’t believe this is as easy as it is. She stands up.A man hurls past her, grabbing Big John by the shoulders, and yanking him back.“ Big John! ”
They thrash around the room, until a second man joins in, holding Big John back, and the only thing Kathryn can do is watch and scream and pray that they won’t kill him now, because they need more time to escape, and–“Let him go you stupid fucking cunts! Morons! You weird arse products of incest, just let him go!”It doesn’t help much, but it’s the only thing she can do, until he’s reduced to a coughing mess on the floor, and the window is closed again.
They shove past her, forcing the two to sit on the bed. One man leaves, but the other stays, still a gun in his hand. Kathryn’s heart is in her throat. Once upon a time, she would be completely frozen.Now, she couldn’t stop, she had to fight to live.“We’re meant to translate the damn thing, how do we do that while sitting on your crusty bed?”“You should’ve thought of that before,” the man tells her.Not very helpful.
Something goes off in the other room, like a gunshot. Then more, until a dozen ring in her ears. He shoots up, tells them not to move, and leaves the room. Way more helpful.“What’s going on?” Kathryn asks, watching Big John rush to a window.“Those were fireworks,” he tells her. He looks out. “I’ll be damned.”“ What? ” She joins him. “Oh.”Running around like an idiot on ecstasy with a ladder under his arm, John B is there, in all his teenage glory. The fireworks have got to be from him. The moron .He looks the exact same he did, when she chased him around with a bee.
“Okay, what do we do now?” Kathryn asks, entranced at the prospect of being able to leave this god forsaken place.Big John gestures at her to stay back. “Sit on the bed. When someone gets in, we’ll knock him out.” He fumbles around for some lamp. “With this. You, you open the window, okay?”Kathryn stares at him. “That sounds like one of JJ’s plans.”“Do they ever fail?”“Yes. Yes, quite a lot actually.”Still, it’s what they do. The whole ordeal is so fast, Kathryn barely has time to stand up from the bed before Singh’s man is thrashing on the floor, Big John over him.Even quicker, the man picks up his gun, and aims it at him.
“Sit down. Sit down! ”But Kathryn wants to leave, she wants to get out, and her body and her mind are hers and she can use both for her own benefits , and so she slams herself into the man, effectively sending the gun flying to the ground.And the man out the window, for that matter.Big John stares at her for a second. Then out. Then back at her. “God damn, kid.”Kathryn just hopes she broke a few bones without actually killing the man.
Big John lunges for the window, clearly scared that more men are coming, skipping the ladder that is so conveniently there, and jumping down, with god knows what athleticism lesson he took.Kathryn swallows down her fear of heights, and puts a foot on the ladder. The rest of her descent is quickened by two arms grabbing her waist, and lifting her before putting her down.She whirls around, a scream lodged in her throat. Then, she grins. Kathryn has never been more happy to see John B in her entire life.“ Bee! ” she blurts out, hugging him close to her.“Bug, what the hell are you doing here?”Sarah smiles behind him. “Hi.”“Hi, Sarah,” Big John greets.Kathryn leans back. “Where’s JJ?”There’s no time to answer, someone is already crying out to go after them.“We gotta go, we gotta go.”“No, we know that!”She doesn’t think about leaving her dad behind twice. Whatever is waiting for him, he had it coming, and Kathryn deserved to get away. Whatever happens to him, it’s not on her. It’s not her fault, it’s the consequences of his own actions. And she was always the one who left, wasn't she? Maybe she deserved to leave.Kathryn is done making excuses for men who used her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It’s hard to catch up the Routledges – she can call them that, right? After all, silly or not, Sarah and John B are technically married… – on everything as they run through whatever town of South America they were in. Kathryn only knew that they were in the Orinoco basin, and that was about it.

Their only plan right now, as far as she knows, is to run one way and specifically

away

from Singh, and Edward. Kathryn’s plan, in the grand scheme of things, is to find JJ.

Which is not exactly the point, right at the moment. She’s aware.

“Can’t believe you just

fell

out of a window, dad,” John B cries out, slowing down.

“If I never see Singh again, it’ll be too soon.” Kathryn snorts. “Let’s collect our bearings. Just get the lay of the land.”

“Can we get the lay quick, considering they’re definitely on our arses?” she hums.

John B makes finger guns at her. “She has a point. Think we'll have enough time to make it to Solana for the solstice?”

“

Make it where, when?

” She frowns. “It’s not even the solstice. Or maybe it was back then, and the calendars changed stuff up…”

“Yeah, uh, no idea but Solana is a dig site where we have to use the idol on this uh,

thelma

–”

“And Louise?”

“

Temalacatl

,” Big John corrects.

“Oh right. An altar.”

“How’d you even know that?” his son frowns at her.

“Why did you think I didn’t?”

“Okay, don’t get too cocky,” his dad warns. “I still can’t make out those glyphs.”

Kathryn shrugs. “I can.”

Big John stares at her. “Why didn’t you say so earlier?”

“Technically, I did. I said the trick was knowing in which order to use them.” She realises he’s staring right at her. “But I memorised the glyphs.”

Sarah shakes her shoulder. “That’s our girl!”

“Yeah, speaking off, where’s JJ?”

Her eyebrows scrunch up at Kathryn’s obviously worried tone. “I don’t know, he said he’d catch up with us. Pope–”

“Pope is here?” Big John asks, curt.

His son frowns. “Yes, Pope is here.”

“

Who the hell else is here?

”

Kathryn is particularly tired of dads raising their tone at her, so she just shoves at Big John to get the idol out of his backpack, which he apparently swiped as she was building up courage to climb down the ladder.

“Look, that doesn’t matter, does it? Obviously they got separated.

Now

…” Her brown nimble fingers trail over the inscriptions. “That’s

tongue

,

wisdom

,

darkness

,

patience

…”

That gets a smirk out of the older man. “The gods are smiling on us.”

She makes a face. “I’m not sure the gods have anything to do with my memory?”

“Look, let’s just be glad the gods are smiling,” John B ironises. “We gotta go. Okay?”

His dad nods. “We gotta move kids. We gotta get upriver. The moon waits for no man.”

Listen, Big John had always been weird, but Kathryn can’t believe it gets that dialled up the second any treasure is in his vicinity. But then again, that was the case of all three fathers of the three teenagers.

This must be some kind of curse. A fatherly curse, or whatever.

John B leads them to the small docks, running along a river that Kathryn can only suppose to be the Orinoco. She should have focused more on geography in school, instead of being entirely consumed by whatever history class they were having.

“Okay, we’ve got to find this river guide named Jose. Divide and conquer?”

She nods. “I’ll come with you Bee.”

“Uh, that’s not exactly ‘divide?’” he reminds her.

“Yeah, and you don’t

exactly

know Spanish, so.”

“Shots fired, I’ve been attacked.”

She simply swats at him, walking away from the other two. If they do get some of their work done, which is just searching for a man named Jose who can get them across the river, not exactly that big of a task, and Kathryn is not focused on finding

El Dorado

.

The prospect of JJ catching up to them there, though, keeps her going.

At least, as they weave their way through the small crowd, Kathryn can catch up John B on

everything

that’s happened, and he can do the same. They should both be a bit more worried about the time they’re wasting, but when has that ever stopped them?

“You know,” he starts when she’s done, “I can excuse Edward messing your life up.”

“Can you? Are we sure about that?”

“But I draw the line at the misogynistic comments.”

She stares at him. “Look at you, mister oblivious privilege. That thing I said back in school really stuck with you uh?”

He bumps into her. “Yeah, I owe my self awareness to you, we knew this, Bug.”

Kathryn merely rolls her eyes at him, fully aware that he was deflecting, and reducing the whole situation to help her, because this will cause more damage in the future, and if he can make light of it now, maybe she can later.

They ask some guy, who tells them he has no idea which Jose they’re talking about, then move on to the next.

“So,

El Dorado

,” she says. “Excited? If we pretend like we might actually find it. Still not entirely convinced in a city of gold hiding in the jungle.”

“It’s nice, I guess,” he hums, noncommittally. “

So

, Kitty Hawk. Are you and JJ back together?”

Kathryn blinks at him, before snorting. “This cannot be your first question.”

“Oh, but it can,” he says, before shuddering. “I did not spend three days listening to JJ moan in my ear about you just for it to not happen.”

“You both are

so

dramatic, I swear.” She rolls her eyes at his insistent stare. “

Yes

, we kissed and made up. Happy now?”

He grins. “I think the right word is overjoyed?”

“I can’t believe

El Dorado

gets ‘nice I guess’ and JJ and me get ‘overjoyed.’”

They move on to another man, standing by a boat. When Kathryn asks him about Jose, this time, he points to his left, towards the end of the docks.

She smiles at John B, because she can’t help it. “Well done, Bee.”

“Always a pleasure, Bug,” he says, saluting.

There’s not much time to say anything, considering he whistles at the others to come over.

One step closer to the treasure, she figures. She only wishes she felt more excited about it, and not this gaping feeling that things would go wrong. First, things always went wrong for them. Second, no one ever came back, and she’s fairly certain Singh mentioned the idol being haunted, at some point.

Kathryn leads the little group, walking over to a man hunched over in his boat. “Jose?”

“

Sí?

”

“

¿Conoces Professor Sowell?

” Apparently, he was part of a small group that planned an expedition to

El Dorado

, of which, one can guess, very few came back from. John B barely mentioned him. Singh ended up killing him, after all, so. Kathryn wished she’d met him. He knew how to speak Kalinago.

Jose smiles. “

Sí.

You are friends?”

Hearing English, John B immediately perks up. “

Yes!

Yes, yes.”

“Okay, I waiting for you.”

“Nice to meet you,” he says, shaking his hand. “You were gonna take us upstream where you took them?”

“

¡Por supuesto!

” Just as John B fishes for some money to pay him, Jose shakes his head. “And they already paid, so we can go.”

There it goes. That’s how it starts to go downhill, is it not? New people involved, people they didn’t know, this is just grand.

Kathryn stares at the money in his hand, frowning. “They? Who’s they?”

“Your friends. They’re waiting. Come on, follow me. Over here.”

In another more rudimentary boat, a few feet down, two men are waiting. One has a cane, which Kathryn wants to shove up the other’s rectum.

All in all, Edward and Ward aren’t exactly welcome, as of right now. As of ever again.

Her stomach since, and she forces herself not to feel dizzy in the face of Ward Cameron, who she last saw after he let his son kidnap her, as insurance Rafe would behave.

But that was nearly two months ago, and Kathryn had changed. She was dead set on pretending like he wasn’t even here in the first place. As opposed to her dad, who seems the tiniest bit nervous under her glare. He should be.

John B shuts his eyes tightly. Sarah inhales sharply, turning to Kathryn. “Well, at least

your

dad’s here.”

Kathryn can't help but smirk at the irony. “Yeah, I wouldn’t say that. Crash notes, he sold me off to Singh to get to

El Dorado

.”

“I’m

sorry?

”

“It’s a whole thing,” John B agrees, jaw particularly taunt.

The Darcy girl faces Sarah, irritation growing by the second everytime her father so much as waves towards her, that with the fact that he was with Ward, oh, this was definitely not going to end well for either of them.

“You take yours I’ll take mine?”

Sarah smacks her lips. “With pleasure.”

If Sarah starts screaming the second she takes two steps towards her father, Kathryn stands there, arms crossed, and waits for him to come to her. John B pushes his father a little further down, ignoring the way the man glared at the other two.

Kathryn has no reasons to trust him, now even less than earlier. He worked with

Singh

. Big John and her barely made it out alive, so why is he just standing there? If he was working for Singh against his will, there was no way he didn’t escape by the skin of his teeth, and she didn’t even see him walk out of the house they were trapped in.

At this point, she’s more tired than she is mad.

“What are you doing here?” she starts, voice levelled but nonetheless lethal. “Taking notes for Singh?”

He seems outraged at the idea, so much so that’s it’s

laughable

. “I’m not here for Singh,” he cries out.” I needed to make sure you were okay, Kat,” he says with utmost sincerity, which she doesn’t take very seriously.

“I’m fine. Leave,

now

.”

“Kat, please. I said you deserve a better father, and I know you have Hen, but I can try to be that person.

Please

, let me try.” He puts a hand on her shoulder. She shrugs it away. “I’ve made mistakes, I know that.”

She snorts. “Yeah, I’d hope so.” She’s quite sure John B himself stifles his laughter behind her.

“Let me try to make it up to you, please,” he pleads.

Right. He

pleads

to her.

Kathryn clicks her tongue. “Nah, I don’t know. Forgiveness is pretty weak, don’t you think?”

He winces. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.”

She bats her eyelashes. “Oh, you meant that I’m dependent on JJ in a good way? Sorry, you meant that I can’t want softness for myself, but like, not because I’m a girl who has feelings, right?”

Her father

reduced her

to her feelings for JJ. And even if there was nothing minimal about them, she couldn’t bear to be considered as this two-dimensional being who only existed for the men around her. Either she was with JJ and doing whatever he wanted, being soft and at peace, according to her dad,

or

she was with Edward, following him around and doing his dirty work.

Apparently, doing things for herself didn’t make it in the equation.

Apparently

, wanting to go to Yale, helping her friends, discovering age old mysteries, oh, that was just

so much less

interesting than her relationship to the men around her, wasn’t it? That just

doesn’t

define her, does it?

Kathryn was not a love interest. She was not the

Second Coming

of Edward Darcy.

She drops the act, glaring now. “I’m not just some tool you can use to progress your own story. I’m your kid. I

was

your kid. Don’t expect forgiveness from me now. You’re the one who forgot you were my dad, first. I have every right to forget that I am your daughter now.”

“Kat–”

“Not to mention that you show up with

Ward?

Are you quite well?”

Her father doesn’t have time to answer. To be fair, she doesn’t

want him

to answer, she doesn’t care for what he has to say. However, when Big John comes barreling through, marching straight to Ward, grabbing him by his shirt, she does care a little.

Kathryn blinks, John B walking up to her. “Is your dad going to kill Ward?”

“That’s a possibility.”

“

¿Has visto a los cuatro americanos?

”

The two whirl around. Somewhere a few feet away, Singh’s men are talking to the same people they just were. Time isn’t just running out, it

has

ran out, and it’s time to

leave

.

“Singh,” Edward hisses out, fear suddenly washing over him. “Kids, we have to go.”

Kathryn raises her hand at him. “You’re not giving orders. We do have to go, though, Bee.”

“Time to go,” Sarah calls out from behind them. “Time to go!”

John B hushers the two girls along, not paying attention to Edward, who follows close. “Kat, please take care of the middle aged children, please.”

She nods. “On it.”

Taking care, to Kathryn, mostly means shoving herself right between the two, though distinctly on Big John’s side.

“

You threw me overboard!

”

“Hey, both of you knock it off!” she cries out. “Singh’s right here, and you two idiots are going to lure him to us. Big John, in the boat, now.”

She nearly shoves him on, John B and Sarah right behind her. The embarcation is a little shaky, and doesn’t seem all that trust-worthy.

She turns around, a sudden spike of realisation hitting her. “Wait, you told me Pope, Kie and Cleo were on the plane with you, what about them?”

“They’ll figure it out,” John B answers her. She just has to believe that, too.

Because she doesn’t have time to argue with him any more, seeing as Ward is forcing himself onto the boat, followed by her own dad. This is a joke. This is some

Laurel and Hardy

bit.

Their favourite daughters start to shriek.

“Dad, what are you doing?”

“Get the

hell

off that boat!”

“Sarah, it’s dangerous, you’re in over your head!”

“Listen, Kat, you don’t know Singh like I do.”

John B shoves Kathryn down before she can strangle her father, and the boat is going down the river already, and she wants to hit something. She really,

really

wants to hit something.

There is no way that her dad isn’t here on Singh’s behalf. That makes no doubt in her head, she isn’t an idiot. She’s also not ready to throw him off the boat, and to what must be certain death, considering the infested waters.

But that doesn’t mean that she’ll let him anywhere near the

temalacatl

. That doesn’t mean she’ll let him catch a single glimpse of gold. It’s less about finding it, now, and more about keeping her father

out

, as he looks back at her with a contrite smile.

“Guess it’s just us,” Sarah grumbles next to her.

Kathryn hums. “Isn’t it just?”

They stare at each other, kinship in this situation burning brighter than the rest. Sarah puts a hand on her friend’s. They both share the same feelings, the same fate.

Being a daughter is a curse that comes from your father’s blood.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The South American heat is slowly catching up to her, sweat dripping down her back. She’s grateful that she’s only ruining Kitty Hawk’s clothes, less so that she probably stinks… so much.

Everytime she crosses her father’s eyes, her fingers reach for the ring around her thumb, only to find it bare. It’s in her pocket, in a short that’s discarded on the floor of the Palace. At least, she hopes so. That’s where her mom took her clothes after Kitty Hawk got rid of them, right? If she lost JJ’s ring, she’s going to be

mortified

. But as of right now, it’s just one more reason to go home.

The boat ride isn’t as long as she feared it to be. Stuck in a confined space with Ward, Edward, Sarah, Big John and John B? A terrifying thought. Maybe everyone shared it, considering they remained silent for most of it.

Jose stops the boat on a little dock, in the middle of a village. Kathryn climbs out, resisting the urge to shove her dad back in the water as she does. Sarah and her share a long, meaningful look.

Hell is being the oldest daughter, they both decide.

“Well, welcome to

El Tesoro

, Bird,” Big John says behind them, to his son, who he has yet to traumatise heavily like the other fathers. “We’ll hole up here for the night. Move out at first light.”

Kathryn hangs back to join him and John B, craving a sense of normalcy. “That’s if no one is killed in their sleep. Which would be a total accident, by the way…”

Her best friend hums. “Sounds good.”

His father rolls his eyes, trying to bring his spirits up, or to steer him back towards the right destination. Which is a huge mountain in the distance. Which is nowhere near his own personal issues, or his sister’s personal issues.

“Somewhere up there is the dig site and

El Dorado

. With Kat and this gnomon, I think we got a shot, you and me.”

His son doesn’t seem all that entranced at the idea. Or at the choice of words, really. In fact, he frowns. “Kat’s not a

Mystery Mouseketool

. And Sarah’s here too, dad.”

Kathryn didn’t even clock it. She just nodded along. Of course they need her, she can read Kalinago. The fact that Big John didn’t include her in his little spiel didn’t even sound wrong to her.

Maybe this was why Edward’s manipulation had been so easy.

The older man shakes his head. “Sarah ain’t done the deep dive like we have.”

“Uh, actually, if it wasn’t for Sarah, we would still be with Singh,” Kathryn reminds him, not particularly fond of him dismissing the girl. “Last I checked, she’s the one who fired those fireworks at the house?”

“But I don’t trust anyone with the last name of

Cameron

. Or Darcy, for that matter.” She arches a brow.

Oh?

Interesting. “You only get a pass because you're my son’s sister, Kat, but your dad and Ward are cut from the same cloth. And I’m afraid Edward’s piece was used to create you.”

“

Dad

, what the hell?”

She opens, then closes her mouth. She hates this analogy, like she owes her dad for existing in the first place. Most importantly, though; “But Lana Grubbs said my dad wanted to give you the entirety of the Merchant’s gold? Sounds to me like you should owe him, really. I know, I’d hate the idea too.”

Big John makes a face at her. “You still believe that, kid?

She scoffs. If she’s sure her mother

did

try to protect her in her own way, she also protected herself. Build Edward the reputation of a

god

, and no one will dare to question her about anything she ever does. That came with its own share of lies, but it had been so effective, who would have believed anyone who said anything different?

Kathryn wouldn’t have, if she hadn’t stood in the proof of it, when JJ told her he needed to break up.

“You think him and Ward just showed up on their own?” Big John goes on. He pats John B’s shoulder. “Just you and me. And Kat, the

Mystery Mouseketool.

”

That doesn’t seem to cheer his mood, the teenager looking more than dejected, as his father leaves. She hangs back with her best friend, rocking back and forth on her heels. That was

weird

.

“Um…” Kathryn hesitates. “Your dad is a

bit

too much into the whole thing.”

“Yeah, you tell me,” he scoffs. “He’s been that way since we came back.”

She hums. “Well at least he’s focused.”

She’s not sure it’s the compliment she wants it to be, not with the Routledges. Last she heard about Big John, before he came back from the dead, was that he had gotten so obsessed with the gold hunt he dismissed his son entirely. So even if he

is

back and they

have

been spending time together… the whole thing feels a little… calculated.

Of course, she is one to talk. Her own father set her on that goose chase to

El Dorado

, so. Maybe she shouldn’t be giving anyone advice on anything ever again.

John B straightens up. “Darcy’s coming over here.” She groans. “You want me to kill him for you?”

“

No

, if anyone kills him, it’s gonna be me,” she answers flatly, turning towards her dad. “You jumped on our boat as we were leaving and I was courteous enough as to not throw you in the fucking water,

what

makes you think I want to talk to you now?”

Edward splutters. John B whistles. “I’ll, uh… I’ll just be over there… not listening in… not enjoying any of this.”

He walks away, backwards, not making any effort to pretend he’s not staring at the scene. Kathryn can’t even help her amused smirk. They both know whatever Edward says, it won’t be well-received.

Her father opens his mouth. She beats him to it again. “Is this the part where you reveal more stuff to me? Like how I always believed you were killed or went missing because you wanted to help Big John when that’s actually

not

true? Is there more lies to this whole thing, because I’m losing my damn mind over here.”

Edward falters. Clearly, this takes him aback just as much as it did her. “I’m not sure I should be held accountable for the lies your mom told you. Clearly, she benefited from the fact that I helped around the Cut because Hen asked me to. She just wanted to further that idea to win you and the island over, and it worked.”

She grounds her teeth, thorns prickling at her chest. “Yeah, that’s on me,

sure.

Look, if you’re here to tell me you just came along to protect me, save your breath. I know damn well the only reason you followed me is

El Dorado

.”

He winces. It seems that at every turn, he expected this to be easy, and she kept disappointing him. Poor guy. “I learned my mistake, Kat, I promise you. I’m here for you.”

“Okay, I don’t want you here, now leave.”

“Kat…”

“No,

no

, because how do you even think I’m going to believe you?” she spits out, crossing her arms on her chest. “We’ve been having the same conversation for hours now. You tell me you feel bad, that you’re

oh

, so sad, and that you want to make it up to me, and I tell you to eat shit. Honestly, dad, you say you’re here for me and not for the gold when you

forced me

into this bullshit in the first place. You didn’t seem to care about me all that much then.”

Kathryn had always been good with words, always knew where to hit. She’d say she’s still good at it, considering the look of shame on her dad’s face. These last few hours have just been him relentlessly trying to build his pedestal up from scraps. The scraps were sharp, and Kathryn willed him to bleed to death on them.

They’re going around in circles, and she’s tired, and she doesn’t want to see his face. She wants to go home, to her boyfriend, to her uncles. She wants to tell Henry everything, to apologise for discarding him when her father still acted like a god, because she knew, now, that

he

had always been the father she wanted.

But no. No, instead, she was stuck in the same conversation with the usurper.

“I know you don’t believe I’ve changed, but that’s because I haven’t,” he tells her, and she arches a brow.

Awful

start. “I was always like this. I was always focused on finding the treasure, first and foremost. You blame me for a version of me that never existed, Kitten. But I’ve worked

hard

to get you where you are now.

For

you, not for me.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, you just forgot to ask if I wanted any of it first. No, wait, you did know I wanted out, right? Because that’s when you told JJ to break up with me.” She tilts her head. “Are you going to tell me what you told him yet?”

He bites his lip. Somehow, this was what it always boiled down too. “I can’t. If I do, you’ll hate me. You’re like me, Kat. I know you won’t let it slide, not when I’ve hurt someone you love.”

“Yeah, I’m like you,” she says, the words burning her tongue. “So we both know I’ll hate you anyway, just to be sure.”

Kathryn walks away, not caring very much about where her dad is going, maybe to pally up with Ward, she doesn’t give a fuck at this point. Instead, she grabs John B by the shirt, and leads him to the side of the docks, where Sarah is sitting, waiting for someone to come talk to her about her own dad, most likely.

The blonde stares at the pair for a good long while, a bit dumbfounded at their sudden appearance, the way John B was grinning proudly, and Kathryn was scowling in anger. Then again, they always looked like that.

“We should found a club,” Kathryn declares, sitting down heavily next to her. “Because our dads are

not

at their peaks right now, I can tell you as much.”

Sarah hums, smiling a little, happy for Kathryn’s scorching humour. “Mine says he’s just here to help. Yours?”

“Pretty much the same. He still won’t tell me why he broke me and JJ up, because apparently I’ll hate him even more, but I felt like that was just a given.”

She doesn’t seem as happy, suddenly. “

He’s

the reason why JJ broke up with you?”

Her boyfriend sits next to her, nudging her. “‘Course, Sarah, why do you think we hate the guy? Because he used Kat? C’mon.”

She snorts. “Right, that’s my bad…”

Kathryn rolls her eyes at them, even if it’s technically true. Kathryn

is

angrier about what he did to JJ rather than what he did to her, so what? Her father had some sort of right to hurt her. Shedding a blood, that was a family issue. Hurting JJ, that was just a crime.

“I don’t trust either of our dads,” she says.

Sarah nods. John B looks uneasy. “Well, my dad doesn’t necessarily trust either of you, so…”

The blonde, who had been trying very hard to please her boyfriend’s dad, looks dejected. “Yeah, I gathered that much. I don’t blame him. Not after what my dad did to him. But didn’t Kat’s dad help to–”

“Nope, another lie,” Kathryn finishes before Sarah says anything. “And, you know what,

I’ll

blame Big John, actually. Because we’ve done nothing wrong, our dads did, but we are

not

them and I won’t let anyone convince me

or you

that we are.”

She blinks at her, before smiling softly. “Thanks, Kat,” she says, genuinely touched at the fact that Kathryn, who always found a way to blame herself about the littlest of things, didn’t. And if she didn’t, well, maybe Sarah didn’t have to either. “I know we’ve been through a lot… all three of us, really. But we’re still good, right?”

John B nods, smiling at her. “Yeah. We’re good.” He had forgiven Sarah a long time ago, really. Longer than his best friend, that was for certain.

Even Kathryn, who had a hard time with Sarah’s cheating, who had a hard time letting go of

anything

, really, felt like torrential waters had run under that bridge. “Yeah we are.”

They stand like this in silence, Kathryn, John B, and Sarah, sitting close, but not too close, with the South American heat.

Until Sarah nudges her with her knee. “Hey, Kat… What’s the story behind

El Dorado?

”

She blinks at her. “You came all the way over here not knowing?”

“Don’t be an ass, bug.” John B shrugs. “Just give us the

SparksNotes

version.”

Kathryn rolls her eyes, trying to hold back a sigh. Really, the couple is just trying to pass time. And indulge Kathryn, a little. Sarah’s strife with her father was old. Kathryn’s was fresh. She deserved to have a hint of distraction from it.

“So, there was that

Guajiro

king who found

El Dorado

as he was dying, right? He said that he wouldn’t just give his gold over to his sons. That they needed to deserve it. To be worthy. So, those who sought the gold would be tested by the Jaguar God, which is represented on the idol. I guess… for five hundred years, no one was the right fit, if we follow the myth. But if we’re good, and wise, and maybe the tiniest bit lucky, maybe we’ll be the ones to be worthy of the treasure.”

They stay in silence again, the words hanging over them. Could they? Could they

actually

be worthy? It all seemed a bit too far-fetched, a bit too mythical. This was just the story of an old man trying to make his sons be

better

, and failing miserably. Kathryn hates that stupid king. Somehow, she hates the children more, for failing. Even if the goal was unachievable. Even if a literal

god

had been against them. They should have fulfilled their father’s vision of them, right?

She’s heard that story before.

“You could put me to sleep like that,” Sarah says.

John B forces a yawn. “Will you give me a good night kiss?”

“I hope you both die tomorrow.”

🍓

The village is still enveloped in blueish light when the group gets ready to leave towards the mountains. Kathryn isn’t the best trekker known to man, and doesn’t particularly trust herself to climb up there and not break an ankle, but she figures the prospect of putting all this behind her

is

quite alluring.

That and

El Dorado

.

“That site’s a whole day’s walk,” Big John tells them, putting the idol away. “We gotta get up there before moonrise. If we miss the solstice, then all this was for nothing.”

“But no pressure, right?” Kathryn hums, fastening her backpack.

“Yeah, listen, girls, I’m telling you right now, if you fall behind, I ain’t waiting.”

Her eyes blow wide, as Sarah’s narrows at the old man. Is he serious? Is he saying that because he doesn’t trust them and is just waiting for something to push them away from the gold hunt?... Or is he really just saying this because they’re girls? What is it with those dads, lately? They should just get rid of their generation altogether.

In any case, John B isn’t a fan. “

Dad

. Stop!”

“I ain’t! It’s a matter of fact.”

Sarah scoffs. Kathryn smiles. “I’d worry about your old knees more than ours, Big John.”

He grumbles something about her always having snark, but John B is already walking up to them. “Sorry about the cranky old man.”

Speaking of cranky old men, Ward walks up to them, Edward coming from the other side, cornering them in what is potentially going to be the most awkward conversation ever.

If Kathryn can get her lick in, she’s here for it.

“I’m going to tell those sons of a bitches they ain’t coming,” Big John lets out.

Apparently, Ward beats him to it. “Hey, listen, fellas. I’m real sorry, but, uh… I’m not gonna be able to make it up that mountain, not on this leg. I’d be slowing you down, that’s all. So I’m just gonna hang here.”

If Kathryn is

suspicious

, she can’t help the obvious joy that brings her. “Dunno what makes you think you were coming with us in the first place? But go on, I like how pathetic you sound.”

He clenches his jaw. “Tell you what, I got a flare gun. If I see Singh come through here, I’ll send up a flare, let you all know he’s coming.” Sarah nods once. “Least I can do.”

She thanks him, which is a courtesy Kathryn won’t allow her dad, as he walks up to her. Ward wants to stay here, that’s fine with her. He’s got to have an ulterior motive, though, she isn’t that naîve. But she knows someone who would rather die than be left behind, and she can use that to her advantage. To make sure that at least, this wasn’t part of his plan, and he will actually do as he’s told.

“You’re not coming either, my guy.”

He blinks, anger floating over his face. This is his life’s work. This is

everything

he’s worked up to, and his daughter is just benching him? Well, that’s his own fault. “Excuse me?”

Kathryn shrugs. Two birds, one stone. “You said you wanted to make it up to me? Stay here. Prove to me you don’t care about the gold, and make sure that piece of crap doesn’t warn anyone.”

She figures two assholes gotta cancel themselves out. Or at least, she hopes so. Besides, it brings her great joy, seeing the conflict on her father’s face. Maybe he is genuine about trying to make it up to her, not that she cares, not that it isn’t too late.

What it is, though, is

useful

.

“You

need

me,” he says. “You need my expertise on the matter–”

“Your expertise so far has been

scarce

, and I’ve completed it,” she fires back. “I don’t need him up there. I

do

need you to keep an eye on Ward.” She smiles, acidic. “Or do you not want to make it up to me anymore?”

Getting Edward to choose between her and the gold is some sort of final test, really. One has always been more important than the other. That much, he had made clear. But he’d mentioned he wanted to change, and Kathryn did like to steer people in the right direction.

Besides, she wasn’t leaving him a choice. If he even thought of denying her, she was grabbing the idol and knocking him out with it.

Her father seems to realise that, for once, he’s not in charge. For once, she’s the one choosing for him. And god, with that sour look on his face, seeing his life’s work just out of reach, never to touch, and in fact

missing it?

Oh, it was

glorious

.

He rolls his jaw, unhappy. “

Fine

,” he grits out. “Your way, Kat. Don’t come crying when it gets too hard for you.”

John B scoffs. She only snorts, walking away already. “Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, dad.”

Kathryn was going to find

El Dorado

. Not because she was worthy, or some shit like that, but because she was going to prove her father wrong. She didn’t care about any gods on her way, she’d succeed.

The only thing godly will be her spite.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn comes to two conclusions, as she treks through the mountains, all the way up to the

temalacatl

. First, running track definitely isn’t the same as walking in the South American heat, clothes sticking to her skin, effectively

stinking

too. Second, it’s been forever since she

actually

ran track, so why did she think she’d have a good cardio anyway?

And oh, the worst part is, Big John is

distancing them

.

“Come on, kids. Pick it up! I don’t got time to waste.”

Kathryn heaves out several times. “I’m going… to kill him… and steal the air from his lungs.”

But they keep going.

At some point, the way uphill is so hard on their knees and ankles and shins and thighs and lungs and

everything

, John B simply takes Sarah’s hand, and Sarah takes Kathryn’s, forming some sort of human chain all the way to the top, dragging each other.

Big John keeps walking ahead, and Kathryn hates that she was proven wrong about his knobbly knees. Who knew he’d have

such

good cardio? This isn’t fair, she’s dying over here. The only thing that keeps her going is the fact that once they find

El Dorado

, they’re going home, and JJ will be waiting for her, along with Henry and everyone else.

Also, the prospect of a life-altering discovery.

And

sticking it to her dad. This, she was looking forward to.

“Hey, Pop,” John B calls out after falling face first and nearly making the girls join him. “How about we take a breather, you know?”

“How about not? Come on, boy. Y’all are slowing me down. We’re losing light.”

John B turns to Kathryn. “I can’t take this anymore.”

“

You

can't take it? I have the cardio of diseased shrimp.”

“It’s the only shot we got,” Big John cries out again. “Come on.”

Apparently his son has had

enough

, seeing as he nearly runs up to him – Kathryn doesn’t know how he manages that – to hold him back. “

Hey

. For

thirty

seconds, can you stop being an asshole?”

Sarah blinks.

Kathryn

blinks. Big John isn’t as surprised as they are. More so… inconvenienced. From where they are, they can’t hear what he’s saying. But oh, does his son hears.

“Thirty seconds? I’ve been on this trail my whole life, boy, and we are on the

cusp

. And I got Ward Cameron, who tried to kill me, and Edward Darcy, nipping at my heels. Their daughters spying on us.”

That thought boggles his mind, for lack of better terms. “

You think they’re spying on you?

”

His father inhales sharply. “Kid, you don’t know the Darcys like I do. They pretend to be our friends, that’s how they work. Edward used me to get closer to the Merchant – her whole family is trust-challenged, and you know that. As for Sarah, well… you can stay back here and babysit your girlfriend. It’s your choice. But I’ll see you at the top, and you better tell Kat to meet me there.”

John B stands there for a moment, as his dad leaves, unsure what to do. Big John can’t go too far, he needs Kathryn to translate. But if for some reason he

apparently

thinks she’s spying on him, well he can definitely try to put as much distance as he can between them.

So there he stands, between his dad, the gold hunt, and two of the most important people in his life. And John B has had to make that choice before. And he’d chosen

wrong

. He had let Sarah down, let Kathryn down. He wasn’t even there to open her acceptance letter to Yale…

Edward and Big John may have been friends. And a Darcy may have betrayed a Routledge. But John B and Kathryn were

not

their fathers, he knew that now.

He walks back to them. That choice was easily made, now.

He holds out a hand, helping Sarah through some tall grass, the blonde leading Kathryn with her.

“Sorry. The Camerons aren’t really a hiking family, if I’m being honest.”

Kathryn stops herself from making a bad joke. She feels like it wouldn’t

exactly

be welcomed, right now. “The Darcys’ idea of family bonding is shitting on my life, so you know, me neither.” Sarah snorts at her.

John B only turns out to look at his dad, leaving the three behind. “Sorry about him. He gets a little obsessive over the treasure.”

His best friend hums. “Hadn’t noticed.”

Sarah, though, smiles up at her boyfriend. “And you don’t?” she chuckles. Kathryn holds back a giggle.

“

Stop

,” John B chastises, despite the laughter in his voice.

And they keep moving. Big John, despite his promise to just go up ahead and wait for them to catch up at the

temalacatl

, is waiting at the top of the hill, looking over into the distance. Kathryn isn’t as happy as she’s supposed to be, to stop

climbing

.

She hates that Big John puts John B through

exactly

the same thing, again, and again. She hates that she knows how it feels now, how hurt John B must feel that he isn’t just

enough

to wait, to hang around, to be put before the treasure.

So Kathryn stares at the older man, even when he beckons them forward. Big John had taken the most drastic fall in her esteem.

“Come on. Take a look at this.”

Sarah pants. “Sorry. I had to catch my breath.”

Kathryn tugs at her hand. “Don’t apologise,” she hushers at her, getting a squeeze in answer before she lets go.

“Catch it when you get here. Take a look at that.”

It was hard, to hold a grudge against Big John, when he always acted so… jovial. A real life Santa Claus, really. But Kathryn was an expert, so she won’t give that to him.

However

.

The view from where they were was stunning. Thousands upon thousands of acres of rainforest, running across hills and mountains, of which the peaks hid in the clouds. Kathryn could get lost in that amount of green. She just had to not look

directly

down, or she would start shaking violently.

“Kat, hey, look at that?” She begrudgingly obliges, Big John pointing out to four stone pillars.

“That’s the

temalacatl?

”

He nods. “There she blows. Solana.”

John B stares at his father, pretending like he has no issues with Kathryn, like all of this is normal, and that he isn’t just trying to sweeten her up to get her to translate for him.

That

, he hated. The way people kept using his best friend. If Kathryn refused to give him what he wanted, well, he wouldn’t blame her.

But she stands between them, and looks up at him, grinning, all teeth, and he blinks and there’s a missing tooth, a more prominent scar on her forehead, no glasses on her juvenile face.

“Okay, even I have to admit, that’s pretty cool, Bee.”

He can’t help his smile. “Bug, you stole the words right outta my mouth.”

Sarah squeals, tugging the two of them. “Come on!”

“At least it’s downhill, huh?” Big John calls out, already halfway down.

Kathryn shares that feeling.

🍓

Kathryn thanks whoever, out of the three others, thought to bring torches. If climbing up the mountain in broad daylight had been long and tiring, well, she trades it over how stressful climbing

down

the mountain in the middle of the night.

Luckily for her, the trek isn’t quite as long. No, they’re at the dig site when night falls, and that’s all she needs. Distraction from the oppressing night. Vindication that she could do it without her father, and she

was

doing it.

Placed between the four pillars they saw from way up there, the

temalacatl

really is just a round table engraved with Kalinago sigils. Kathryn sets her bag down, finger trailing over the words, as Big John rattles on about the legend. This wasn’t a legend anymore. The thought made her tremble slightly.

This felt greater than history itself.

“See these four columns here? Mark the cardinal directions. And there it is. The

temalacatl

.”

He shines his torch right into Kathryn’s eyes, who scowls. “Instead of proving your own self right, how about you get that gnomon out?” She gestures at the hole in the middle of the

temalacatl.

“Pretty sure that’s where it goes.”

Big John spends a few more minutes marvelling at it, and she can’t exactly blame him. “A thousand years of astronomy, mathematics is all contained in this.”

Kathryn blinks, for a moment. She hadn’t thought of it like that. If the Kalinago were able to pinpoint the exact precise location of

El Dorado

, according to the stars and their own calculations, well. “We effectively erased from history a people as great as the Mayans. I need… There needs to be study on this, on the effects of–”

“Hey, nerd,” John B hushers at her. “How about we get filthy rich first?”

She hums. “Yeah, that, too.”

Big John takes out the idol, the gnomon, and carefully places it on the pedestal, muttering beginnings under his breath.

Kathryn stares at it. “I thought it’d open a door or some shit.”

“

No

,” the older man chastises. “When the moon hits its zenith, that’s when the action starts.” He gets paper out of his bag. “John B, I want you to remember the exact order. Sarah, gather up some mud and mark the glyph so we know what to translate. Kat, do your thing. And be quick about it, okay?”

“

Hey

,” John B hisses before she can. “Aye aye, captain.

Relax

.”

Big John doesn’t seem prone to relaxation at the moment. “We only got one shot at this. I don’t want any back talk.”

Luckily for him, the teenagers are quite inclined to listen, at the moment. They are after all in the middle of nowhere. And if Kathryn can translate, well, Big John can get them back home.

They stand, at the ready. Kathryn’s eyes gloss over the markings, reminding herself of each signification whether they’re used as subjects, verbs, or adjectives. They should be okay. She has it down to a T.

By the time Kathryn feels the urge to raise her voice at how long it’s taking, the top of the gnomon starts to glow, moonlight shining through it.

“Whoa. Guys. Guys. Guys.”

“Shut it, Bee, we can see it!”

A sigil starts to shine on the gnomon. Now, Kathryn isn’t a science expert, but she’s almost sure that’s not possible. She doesn’t understand

how

the thing comes to life like this, but she doesn’t have the time to.

“Mark it! Mark it, hurry! Hurry!”

Sarah smudges it, John B hurriedly marking it down. Kathryn nods to herself. Subject. “‘Brave traveller,’” she translates, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

They’re doing it. They’re

actually

doing it.

The next words come quickly, shining all the way across the gnomon, making the sentence readable to Kathryn, who quickly jots it down.

“Right, okay, it’s ‘Brave traveller, if you have wisdom, I’ll reveal the wealth of the earth.’ That’s gotta be

El Dorado!

”

Big John starts laughing uncontrollably, just as the actual table glows, and Kathryn doesn’t think to question the science this time.

Their voices overlap in excitement, Kathryn repeating every word, trying to sort out the sentence as they come.

“‘Tongue?’”

“What is this?”

“Come on, hurry up!”

“‘Patience,’ it’s patience!”

“Patience!” Big John holds out an arm. “Patience.”

John B blinks at him. “...Patience?”

They wait for a few seconds before the dance starts again.

“That’s ‘wisdom’ again!”

“No, no, not in this context.”

“And that one looks like a tongue.”

“...Could be ‘darkness,’ could be ‘cave’…”

“And that one over there?”

“That’s ‘seeker.’”

“What’s the hand?”

“It’s ‘home,’ most of the time,” she answers.

That one wasn’t on the gnomon – but her father had it written down. He mistranslated it to ‘family,’ but Kathryn knew it meant ‘home.’ She just

knew better

.

“‘Home?’” Sarah echoes.

“Well, if

El Dorado

belonged to the Kalinago, it’d make sense that they’d call it ‘home.’ But it doesn’t… it doesn’t go with the sentence. We’re missing one, I think.”

Still, the hand is pointing east, and that seems like it’s enough for the older Routledge. “It’s showing us to

El Dorado!

” Big John cries out, putting his paper on the table, hiding a handful of sigils at the same time. Kathryn scowls.

He picks it back up. Apologises. She stares at him.

Big John? Who had been so careful up until then? Casually messes up the table?

Thunder strikes. The last glow goes out before Kathryn can read it, but she knows. Big John has the last word. He may not know how to put it in the sentence, but he knew the words. He has the key to

El Dorado

, where it’s hidden, somewhere East of here.

“What do we got so far?” John B asks, the tiniest bit oblivious, or simply not wanting to believe what his father is pulling.

“‘I have no tongue, but I’m always speaking,’” Kathryn recites, robotic. She’s willing to see if the man will fool the son.

“What does it mean?” Sarah asks.

Big John stares at the Cameron. Long, and hard. He doesn’t know how to translate it, this, she knows. But he also seems willing to try and see if he can convince Kathryn to do it for him. Translate Kalinago, away from her blonde friend, that is. As if that turned out well the last time.

“I don’t know, I’m missing the other half of the sentence,” she says, ironic. “But I think someone can help us. What’s the last word, Big John?”

The other two turn to him. He doesn’t meet their gazes.

Silence hangs heavy. “Dad, just spit it out.”

He splutters. “I don’t, well, I’m not sure…”

Kathryn’s stomach sinks. Her skin is ablaze. Thunder strikes again.

“Aren’t you?” she asks, voice firm. She notices the skittish looks he keeps sending the blonde.

“Dad, what are you doing?”

“I’ve got all the notes,” he fumbles. “Kat we can… I… We know which way we’re going. It’s…"

“‘We can’

nothing

, you–”

“It’s because we’re here.” In the night, Sarah’s voice rings out, clear and true. “This is about Kat and I, isn’t it? Because you don’t want her to know everything from the get go, and use it against you, you’re willing to wait until the last possible moment? Big John, we are not our fathers. And I’m not my brother. You can trust us.”

Kathryn bites down her lip, watching the man’s eyes fly from her, to Sarah, to his son. Tell her the glyph now, and she’ll know where to find it, there’s a possibility she’ll distance him. Tell her later, and, well, even if she wanted to double-cross him, it’d be too late.

She’s not sure she could say she was no Edward Darcy, when oh, if there wasn’t a piece of him in her temper.

“Are you really willing to risk it?” she fires at him. “Over a grudge you don’t even hold against either of us?” It’s not

fair

, and that hurt her in ways she couldn’t grapple with.

He doesn’t answer her. That’s an answer in itself.

“What was it?” John B barks at the man. “Hey,

look at me

. We

all

just went through hell and back to get here. Tell me what it was.”

Rain starts to fall over unsaid words. Kathryn turns vengeful. “You’re just going to use us?” she spits out. “You’re just going to use

me

, after everything you know my dad put me through, Big John?”

Big John had cooked greasy breakfast for her and his son, so many mornings, pulled out the pull-up couch for her, so many nights. Watched his son find a lifelong friend in her, watched her fall apart, watched his son grieve her when she was still alive.

How easy it flew out the window, in the name of someone she hated.

John B huffs. This is his girlfriend. This is his sister. And they had always been more important than any gold hunt. “Just gonna pull us in and push us out, like you did with mom, with

me

,” he cries out at his father, who looks away, ashamed. “Look, now you’re doing it to Sarah, and Kat. You

know

Kat!”

Sarah shakes her head. She had been in one too many family feuds. “John B, stop.”

“

No!

Kat has always been here for me, and you know this. She was here for me more than you were when you pushed mom away.”

Kathryn turns to him, the water cooling her skin, clumping her lashes together. Any words are snuffed out with care from her brother’s hand.

“I don’t care what happened between you and Darcy, dad. Kat is not him, and

I am not you

. Tell us what it was! Because if you drive her out, I’ll go with her, so

what was the word, dad?

”

“Yes, John!”

The drops themselves seem to stop, hanging in the air around them. Any warmth naturally goes the second she recognises the voice against the beating of the rain.

“What was the word?” Singh asks. “Tell us all, John. What is the secret of the gnomon?”

The four of them regroup, close to each other. If Singh is here, his men can’t be far. Suddenly, Kathryn is almost grateful that Big John didn’t tell her the word, so she couldn’t translate it aloud.

Less so when the man raises a gun.

Singh tuts, pointing his own at him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, John. I have you surrounded.” Sometimes, Kathryn hates being right. “You’d do best to toss over your gun now!”

A man appears to their right, water clogging their vision, their only senses filled with Singh’s voice, screaming at them to be careful.

In front and behind them, two men are holding them at gunpoint.

“Ward was gonna send up a flare to warn us?” Big John can’t help but recall. “Yeah,

sure

.”

Sarah, bless her loving heart, screams at the man. “What did you do with my father?”

Nothing at all. “I’m right here, Sarah! I’m okay!”

Across from Singh, Ward walks up to them. Kathryn’s vision clots with rage. If

he

is here, and her own father isn’t… She was a Darcy, she only hated as much as she could love.

She had worshipped her father.

“Where’s my dad?” she cries out at Ward. “Where’s my dad, you fucking–”

She moves forward, the man that was behind them holding Sarah and John B back before they can follow her.

“I had to get rid of him, but don’t worry, he’s alive,” he tells her, but she wouldn’t take his word for it. “I made a deal, I had to.”

“A

deal?

” Sarah cries out from where she stands.

“Yes,” Ward nods. “I did a favor for mister Singh. In return, he’s gonna give me all I want.”

Kathryn can barely restrain herself from clawing his eyes out, something she knows will get her shot. “You think you’re doing her a

favour?

”

“I want her safe!” he shouts at her. “Isn’t that right, mister Singh?”

Singh seems uninterested. “When we’re finished, she can go with her father. Safe and sound.”

Kathryn scoffs, cold smile stretching at Ward. “You just never know when to ask,

do you?

”

“And you too can live, you know, Kathryn,

if you just give me what I want!

” She can’t help but wince at Singh’s shout, retracting into herself. “The way to

El Dorado!

”

But Kathryn only stares. Because she doesn’t know the way. Big John made sure she didn’t. And he wasn’t done with that plan, it seemed.

“Sorry Carlos,” the oldest Routledge says. “She can’t do it. And you ain’t gonna kill her. ‘Cause we both got the treasure.” He gestures at his head. “It’s right up here.”

She thinks that old man has lost his

goddamn

mind, and when she crosses John B’s eyes, she’s fairly certain he did. Because Singh isn’t the kind of man you bargain with, and he should have known.

They

should have known.

“John, John, John. You know what the Guajiro king did to the slaves that mined

El Dorado

, John?” Kathryn inhales sharply. “He had them executed, so they could never reveal the secret location, and he did it here, you know, on the Stone of Solana. And I think it’s important,

very important

, that we honor tradition.”

Kathryn can’t react as fast as she wants to. She can’t scream at Singh that history isn’t meant to be repeated, she can’t scream any smart quip, because a man grabs John B by the back of his neck, and aims a gun at the back of his head, another man pointing at his face.

“

No

,” Sarah begs next to her.

“So, tell her, John.

What was the word?

”

Sarah pants, reaching aimlessly for her boyfriend, tears mixing with the rain, as Kathryn nearly runs up to Big John. Surely, he’s going to cave now. The treasure can’t be worth John B’s

life

, it can’t, and it doesn’t!

“Big John,

please

,” she begs, voice warbly, all bravado gone. She was her Brother’s Keeper. “Please, just tell me!”

But he remains silent, as Singh taunts them.

“Dad, just tell her!” his own son begs for his life, but it falls on deaf ears.

He looks down, and if he was ashamed before, this was disgust at himself. Kathryn’s gut churns. “He’s your son, for

god’s sake

, please just tell me!”

“John,” Ward

himself

steps in. “Jesus, John. Tell her!”

Kathryn recognises the look in his eyes, as she steps back, wiping her face of sweat, tears and rain. Her father had worn the same one. The treasure would always come first. That was the curse of the Routledges, the Camerons, and the Darcys. John B had broken it, reaching back for his friends

But Kathryn, who didn’t know if her dad was even

alive

anymore, would remain a Darcy. She wouldn’t go out quietly. That had never been in her nature. And if she could trade one for another, maybe,

just

maybe, she could try the Maybank way.

Stupid things have good outcomes all the time

.

Kathryn lunges for the first gun she sees, the one at John B’s face. The man easily pushes her to the ground, and she stumbles in the mud.

She barely has time to look back up, that a gun is raised at her.

A shot is fired.

She expects searing pain. She expects to taste blood, to pass out immediately, but no. Singh’s man falls to the ground. Behind him, Ward is holding his weapon, steady. Kathryn’s mouth goes dry. Ward can’t have just

saved her life

, can he? That can’t be right. No, she’s just entered a parallel universe–

She blinks. She had the key to

El Dorado

. That man wasn’t getting rid of her. He didn’t save her. He just tried to buy her. She was a bargaining chip. Her life was a means to an end, to him. But not to her anymore.

She shoves Ward back as she stands. John B, quicker, and smarter as to use the distraction, jerks his arm back into the man behind him, grabbing the gun.

“Go, go, go!”

Shots are fired at them, from them, Kathryn isn’t sure as Sarah grabs her wrist and tugs her away, the Darcy barely noticing that Big John has picked the gnomon up in their escape.

They shove themselves together, hiding behind one of the pillars, Kathryn frantically patting John B, who has to whisper to her that he’s

fine if she is

. Sarah doesn’t seem to be able to let go of either of their hands, too.

Big John fires back towards the

temalacatl

. Shots are exchanged, enough to make them yelp and scream, knowing that they were still here, not going away.

Across from them, Ward wasn’t leaving either. But they weren’t shooting at him, no. He was safe. Well, relatively, seeing as the second Singh catches a glimpse of him, all bets are off, she can guess.

But safe enough to scream at Sarah to join him, at least.

“

No!

” she cries out. “I’m not coming with you!”

“I’m your father!” he says, as if that absolved him of everything. “I saved Kat’s life, Sarah. Now come with me before you get killed!” A shot comes close to her, Kathryn yanking her back in the nick of time. “Damn it, Sarah, we don’t have time for this! Now come on!”

Sarah has other plans. Sarah was

tired

of listening to her dad, she was tired of following his lead, of being played, of always believing he could be good, because he was not, and she was going to put an end to this.

“John B, give me your gun.”

He looks back at her. “What?”

“

Give her your gun!

” Kathryn screams out, nestling against the stone. “If she wants to shoot at Ward, well, then, good for her!”

That’s not exactly the plan, but it seems to be as Ward, momentarily safe from the crossfire, steps towards them. “You’re coming with me.”

“

Back up

.”

“What are you doing?” John B cries out. “Sarah.”

Kathryn shakes her head at him, screaming over the gunshots. “Let her!”

“I said back up.” Her voice is wobbly, but she is holding a gun at her own father, so no one can blame her.

Ward stops, a few feet away. “Put it down, Sarah. You’re not gonna shoot your own–”

Sarah fires at the ground in front of him. It signals his position to Singh. If Ward wants to stay alive, he has no other choice but to flee. Which he does. She heaves out a sigh, and even in the darkest part of the night, over the sound of the beating rain and the gunshots, she feels liberated.
She would

not

be his daughter again.

Tetchily, Big John takes the gun back from the girl. “You’re one of us now, kid.”

Kathryn frowns at him, taking her by the arm. She’s

had it

with that old man. “She always was. You were just too blinded by the gold to see it,” she hisses over the noise.

She sees him swallow thickly, only indication of his uneasiness, and maybe, a hint of guilt. Good. He deserved to feel bad.

“Go. I’ll cover you.”

None of them have to be told twice. Grabbing the other’s hand until they form that same human chain that got them here so far, the three teenagers run away from the scene.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn is the middle man of their human chains. She grabs on John B’s hand, and she thinks there’s a bit of protectiveness there, if not plain fury against his father. To force him down the gold hunt road is one thing. A thing she hates, but it’s completely different from showing to him,

proving to him

, that his life was worth so much less than

El Dorado

.

And Sarah, oh, don’t get her started on what Sarah Cameron has been through. Sarah had to deal with her father putting himself first for months now, maybe years, without her knowing. And that sudden switch-up is just salt in the wound, giving her hope where there shouldn’t be.

“Kat, your nails are actually starting to hurt me.”

“Yeah, what’s up with the vice grip, Bug?”

“I’m pissed,” she grumbles out, relaxing her fingers around his hands. “Sorry.”

“No, no problem, but we gotta keep moving. Singh and his men can’t be far behind us.”

Oh, right,

that

too. Singh clearly isn’t going to take well with having one of his men

dead

. Kathryn can still see the way his eyes rolled in the back of his head. If she had been in survival mode up until now, the sight was catching up to her. It made no difference anyway. They had to keep going.

It wasn’t the first dead body she saw because of Ward.

“Keep on that heading, east. That’s the way the hand pointed,” Big John calls out from behind them. “That’s home.”

Kathryn licks her dry lips. The only water she’s had in the last five hours has been her sweat. Not exactly glamorous. “It would help if we knew what we were searching for, but

no

… Someone had to be a cunt,” she adds under her breath. “Now hurry it up.”

Big John sits down. “I need a minute.”

“I don’t give a fuck?”

John B just tugs her along. “Let’s pick it up,” he screams back at his father. “Let’s go.”

“Go on, I’ll catch up. I just need a minute to catch my breath.” Kathryn can see John B frown at his father’s words, and why wouldn’t he? The man had been distancing them the whole time, the only reason Kathryn isn’t all that worried, is because she’s so

remarkably pissed

at the guy.

John B fully lets her go, leaving her with Sarah. “One sec. We got a straggler.”

Kathryn glares at her best friend. “Don’t let yourself be buttered up, John B. I mean it.”

“So do I,” Sarah adds, with an equally as pointed look.

He barely salutes at them. “Yes, ma’ams.”

He leaves them behind, joining back his father, too far away for them to even see. Last time that happened, it didn’t go so well.

Kathryn heaves out a sigh. “My dad does something batshit crazy, then

your

dad does something bat shit crazy, and now Big John tried to outdo all of them.”

“What’s next, uh?” the blonde enthuses.

“Let’s not think about that right now.” She hums, turning back at her. “Are you okay?”

Sarah had been out of it ever since last night, and now that it was nearly the middle of the day, it was worrying her. She gives her a half-hearted shrug. “Sure. I’m glad I kept my dad away.”

She tries a smile. “So am I.”

“‘

Wisdom!

’” John B cries out, jogging up to them, his father limping behind him.

They turn back to him, confused. “Yes, what you’re lacking?”

“No, Kat – the last word. It was ‘wisdom.’”

Kathryn’s eyes blow wide, then narrow at Big John, panting.

Now?

He was revealing it now, of all times? They might as well have lost

El Dorado

already, what was even the point? Maybe guilt gnawed at him.

“I’m sorry, kid,” is all he says.

She juts her chin out. “Tell that to your son.” Speaking of, John B looks worried out of his goddamn mind, eyes frantically going from Kathryn, to Sarah, to his dad. His fingers are trembling at his sides. “Are you okay?”

“Hm?” He looks back at her, before nodding. “Yeah, no. What was the last message?”

She makes a grimace, dubious. “‘Wisdom’ means ‘everything,’ when it’s an object complement. So the whole sentence, it’s…
‘I am nothing but hold everything. I have no tongue, but I’m always speaking.’” She blows out a breath. “Nice to know, but not sure it helps us.”

Kathryn’s tired of riddles. This, the Island Room, Angel Oak, she was going insane. Her brain was fried with it all. For once, she’d like one straightforward sentence telling her what to do. ‘Go east.’ That was a direction. ‘No tongue but always speaking,’ that was driving her mad.

But oh, she wasn’t alone in this.

“Wait,” Sarah breathes out. “Guys, listen.”

She clamps her mouth shut. Only things she hears are some buzzing from insects, and the whistling of the wind. Sarah, though, is clearly onto something.

She saunters away, the others following after her. It becomes obvious after a few minutes that it’s the wind that she’s chasing, running through the rainforest while the others struggle to follow.

And when she stands in front of the gaping mouth of a cave, well, it all makes sense. The wind reverberates on the walls, creating a wordless melody. A song.

“‘Always speaking’ indeed,” Kathryn breathes out, blinking at the entrance. “It’s a cave! Sarah, I could kiss you.”

She blushes. Her boyfriend seems less thrilled at the idea. “Please don’t? Look, instead of stealing my girlfriend, can we focus on the fact that

El Dorado

is in a cave?”

Kathryn rolls her lips into her mouth. “A whole city of gold, somewhere deep inside a cave? I’m not sure how it’d fit. Or maybe translations went wrong somewhere? Maybe it’s not a city, maybe–”

“Maybe we should get inside.”

She simply sticks her tongue out at her best friend, who’s father hushers them inside, excitedly. Kathryn’s own heart is nearly spilling out of her lips.

Okay, sure, this was meant to be a last ‘fuck you’ to her father. But now that it was becoming more and more real, well, she couldn’t help but feel herself leap out of her own skin. If they were about to discover

El Dorado

, this was a major discovery,

worldwide

. They would be known.

Kathryn would be known for something else than Edward, and that did sweeten the deal.

The cave itself holds a small pond, water rippling with their footsteps. If there’s water in, there’s a great chance that it dug tunnels through the stone, over time. That means there’s the possibility of this cave going deeper than what they can see so far.

A greater possibility of

El Dorado

, too.

“This doesn’t look like a city of gold,” John B lets out.

Kathryn hums. “Just remember where we found the Cross before drawing conclusions, yeah? Not to mention the Merchant’s gold.”

“Point taken, Bug.”

“It’s a big cave,” his father agrees with her. “Let’s split up, look around. There’s gotta be a passage or something. Keep your eyes peeled.”

Sarah and John B take the right, Big John the left, and Kathryn goes straight ahead. There’s mostly rocks as far as the eye can see, far from the entrance. The whole cave is plunged in darkness, even with the torches, it’s hard to see. It feels like the place is swallowing them.

“It’s just a hole in the ground,” John B calls out from his end. “It doesn’t go anywhere.”

Kathryn sighs, not inclined to prove him right, but not exactly able to prove him wrong. She reaches the small pond, desperate for some water. She’s not dumb enough to drink it, but if she could at least pour it over her head–

She nearly falls on her ass when a fish swims up to her fingers.

Now, Pope is the science expert. But she’s pretty sure you’re not supposed to find fish in a pond

inside

a cave. Unless, of course, the source was somewhere else. Somewhere deeper in. The cave didn’t run forward, it ran

downwards

.

“Hey, come check this out.”

“Hmm?”

She points her flashlight at the pond, showing Sarah and John B the little fishes, swimming around. Sarah frowns. “Well, they have to come from somewhere. This has to be deeper.”

“That’s what I was thinking,” Kathryn nods.

John B takes his backpack off. “One way to find out.”

The girls let him waddle away in the ice cold water, scaring the fishes off to see where they come from which, as John B tells them, is just a little further down. He volunteered, okay? They weren’t just about to refuse.

“What is that?”

They try their best to shine their torches on whatever got his attention. “Well, we can’t bloody well see it from here. So what is it?”

Of course, he doesn’t answer, merely starts squatting down in the water. And then, he shouts.

“

Dad!

Hey, dad, come check this out. Kat found something.”

“I found something?”

Big John comes panting, limping to them, standing next to the Darcy girl, who’s nose wrinkles up, staring at him.

She could ignore it for a moment, but now, it was just glaring at her right in the face. Something was wrong with Big John. “Dude, are you okay?”

He doesn’t answer. Which doesn’t really matter, because John B turns back to them, grinning from ear to ear. “There’s an opening.”

“All right, that’s something.”

She turns her attention to John B, standing near the wall. She frowns for a moment, shining her light on it as best as she can from where she stands.

Kathryn’s eyes narrow in the distance, raising her glasses on top of her head.

“What’s that above? Right on the stonewall.”

Big John’s breathing turns shallow. “It’s… it’s a hand.”

Home.

🍓

Clearing the large stones away from the opening takes

forever

. It’s a time they don’t have, considering Singh has got to be right behind them, but it’s either this, or hoping for the best and just say ‘yeah

El Dorado

’s here. No, we didn’t check, that’s silly. Pay us?’

“If someone went through this much trouble, it’s got to be the way,” Big John remarks.

Kathryn wipes her forehead. “Speaking of trouble, mind helping us?”

“Kat,” John B warns, voice low.

“What? I didn’t even start anything!”

“Whatever.” He takes the last stone away. “Looks like we’re good, you guys ready?”

Sarah nods. Kathryn takes a deep breath. The cave is already pushing it enclosed space wise, but this was a bit much. Then again, if she turned away now, she’d never forgive herself.

This was their chance. She can’t believe it, really. A week ago this was Singh’s delusion, not their victory. A week ago her dad was dead too.

And

JJ and her were happy. So a lot can change in that time, she reckons.

“I’ll never fit through that wormhole. You guys go.”

Well, the ‘guys’ in question stare at him with wide, confused eyes to stare at Big John. He carefully avoids their gaze, clearing his throat.

“Didn’t you nearly kill JB for this?” Kathryn eructs, confused to say the least. The last man who pretended not to be interested was

Ward

.

“Dad, we finally found what we think is

El Dorado

, and you’re gonna sit this one out?” John B cries out at him.

He merely smiles. “Gotta take the training wheels off sometime, kid. It’s time.” Sarah looks between father and son, bewildered. “I’ll hold down the fort out here, but before you go, listen. There were five sigils that you didn’t see.” Kathryn’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. “I know. I was counting them as you were yelling at me.”

John B lets out a low laugh, Kathryn’s word dying out in her throat before she can speak. “Always keeping secrets, huh, pop?

Shocker

.”

“I’m sorry. I’m telling you now. The last ones – in order, were ‘patience,’ ‘seeker,’ ‘wisdom,’ ‘darkness,’ and that symbol that looked like a trident. I don’t know this one.”

But Kathryn does. “It’s a negation. ‘The true and patient seeker needs not light to see.’” She groans. “Another riddle, thanks, Big John. Hoping Sarah’ll guess this one too.”

She scratches her hair. “Well, I’m not all that inspired right now, but here’s to hoping.”

As she talks, Big John fishes around his backpack. “I’ve got these three flares.” He hands one to each of them. “They’re waterproof. I doubt those flashlights will survive the swim. They’re twenty minutes each. And you don't wanna get stuck down there without them. You’ll never find your way out. All right?”

Kathryn hums. “Yeah, that’s if we don’t die drowning first.”

“Keep your spirits up. I’m passing the baton over to you kids,” he chuckles at his son. “You got this, boy. I’ll be okay. I’ll see you when you get back.”

The three look at each other, unsure for a moment. Kathryn is right, they might very well drown trying to find

El Dorado

. Then again, what a way to go. Dying for her dad’s treasure.

Or, perhaps, doing it for her friends. That sounded a whole lot better than spite, in the face of it.

John B grins, and holds out both of his hands, so maybe they can even make it out.

“You sure you’re good?” he asks his dad again.

He smiles half-heartedly. “I promise. Now

go

find that city of gold, boy.”

“We’re going!” He turns to the girls. “Ready?”

Sarah nods. “Yeah.”

Kathryn grins. “No, but what’s new?”

He counts down to three. Kathryn has no choice but to follow, as they dive straight inside the opening.

🍓

Contrary to popular beliefs –

Kathryn

– they didn’t die down there. Their torches are somehow alive, and so are they. However, the moment they get out of the water, coughing their lungs out, they’re not nearly as reassured as they should be.

“What is this place?” Sarah asks, still gasping for breath.

“Look. There’s something over there.”

They swim to a small opening, not big enough to stand, but big enough to crawl, so that’s at least something.

Nearly ten minutes after busting their knees on the floor, Kathryn’s breath caught in her chest and never inhaling as much as she should, as much as she wants to, they manage to stand, the corridor slowly growing larger.

It opens in a huge room, only leading to another opening.

An opening that flickers in out of life, with the dying light. Kathryn throws her torch, dejected. “Bloody thing.”

John B’s falls to the same fate. “And there goes mine.”

“Well, at least we have mine,” Sarah triumphs. Two seconds later, they’re in complete darkness. “Never mind.”

She fumbles for her flare, lighting the whole cave in a red glow.

Kathryn swallows thickly. “Okay. Twenty minutes per flare, that’s an hour. As soon as we’re halfway through the second one, we’re turning around, okay?”

They nod, form their little human chain, and keep going. The clock ticks.

They keep walking through the opening they found earlier, the air growing thicker, breathing harder. This better be worth it, because if they just become skeletons meant to scare the future explorers, well, that’d just suck. Kathryn has stuff to do, like

going to Yale

.

No, instead she leads her friends as they walk out of the corridor and into another open room. An open room that ends abruptly, which is most commonly known as a dead-end.

And absolutely

nothing else

.

Her stomach sinks. “Right. Makes sense. This was all just a

fucking

joke.”

“

Does it just end here?

” Sarah cries out. “Maybe we missed something.”

“This was the only way to go,” John B answers, voice growing in frustration. “There’s

nothing

. That’s it.

That’s it.

”

“Okay, um, maybe…”

“Sarah,” Kathryn sighs.

“Just keep looking.”

“Babe, it’s a dead end,” she says. “Maybe someone got here first, I don’t know. It’s happened to us before.”

John B huffs, collapsing against the wall. “I brought you here and put you in danger for

no reason

.”

Kathryn bites down her tongue, staying silent, but thinking loudly. Of course she wouldn’t have been able to prove her dad wrong, that was just too good to be true. Of course she’d need him to find

El Dorado

, because look where it led her? Fucking nowhere, inside a cave.

“

Stop!

” Sarah cries out at them. “Even if this ends up being nothing, if all it leads us to is this godforsaken hole in the ground, I’m glad I did it even if neither one of you is.”

John B looks up at her. “Sarah, I got you shot. I mean, you’re basically homeless because of me. Kat holds the all-time record for getting kidnapped–

because of me

.”

Kathryn holds up a finger. “Okay, now, most of those were actually on me, so–”

Sarah has tears in her eyes when she says, “Kat, look away for a second.”

“Uh?”

She does turn her head in a hurry when Sarah dives for John B’s mouth.

Kathryn closes her eyes, ignoring the sounds filling her ears and making her want to crawl out of her skin. Instead, she thinks of JJ, and how if

El Dorado

had never existed in the first place, at least, it could have had the decency of not shoving itself between them.

Look how much time they’d lost, all for a treasure that never existed in the first place. Now, their light is dying, and soon they’ll be in complete darkness, no light, and she has no one to kiss like it’s the end of the world.

Hold.

“John B – Bee, that thing about light dying.” John B and Sarah part, the boy clearly less happy about it than her. “‘The true and patient seeker needs not light to see.’ Put your flare out.”

He blinks at her. “Uh, what?”

Luckily for them, Sarah is quicker to catch on. “Put that out!”

“We only have so many–”

“It wasn’t a bloody riddle, they were literally telling us what to do! Oh, thank you, whoever that was, you’re my favourite person right now.”

For a handful of seconds, nothing happens. Kathryn strains her eyes in the dark, ready to pull her out her own hair.

Please be right, please be right

…

A bluish glow comes from the wall behind them, painting the whole cave in its hues. Kathryn can’t help but smile when she understands.

“That’s how the gnomon works. Phosphorescents.”

Her fingers so much as graze the cod stone, and the rocks crack around them. She tumbles back, not willing to be engraved in this cave.

John B catches her, Sarah holding her arm as they stare at the wall, turning with some built-in mechanic that Kathryn refuses to think on, instead staring as the wall in front of them opens.

“Oh my god, Bug, you were right.”

She blows out a laugh. “When am I not?”

Sarah taps her boyfriend’s arm. “Flare. Right now.”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah.”

In the red light, the whole thing becomes even more real, if that was even possible. Kathryn gulps. “If there’s nothing on the other end of this, I’m going to be

so

pissed.”

They crouch, avoiding stalactites and stalagmites and making their way over and inside the room. As far as they can go, before a whole

chasm

splits it in two.

A scream lodges itself in Kathryn’s throat at the sheer depth of it.

“Fall in a cave, fall in a cave, this is my nightmare.”

“Don’t look down!”

“Yeah, let me look up at the sky– oh wait!”

“Just… look straight ahead.”

Sarah bites her lip, looking all over the chamber for some other opening, or

something

. There’s no other way around it. It’s either through, or back.

“So what do we do now?”

And they’re not going back

now

.

John B hesitates. “We can jump.”

The girls stare at him. That boy has lost brain cells every day since they got on Poguelandia, Kathryn’s sure of it now.

“I do hope you’re going first.”

“Well I hope we’re not doing that,” Sarah corrects.

“Look, it’s not that bad,” he assures. “The glyph led us here. There’s gotta be something on the other side.”

“Yeah, death,” his best friend hums.

They keep this back and forth as John B throws his things across, and starts actually counting down.

Kathryn’s stomach fills with dread. “I was joking about going first!”

John B leaps across before she can end her sentence, Sarah screaming as he goes.

He lands heavily but safely on the ground. At least safer than the flare, which falls right into the chasm, neatly lighting up the fall as it goes.

They stay in darkness for a few seconds.

“

Nice

, Bee,” she heaves out, still paralysed with fear. He

actually

just went ahead and jumped over it,

god

.

“Shut up.” He lights up the second one. “See? It wasn’t that bad. We’re good.”

“Who’s

we?

”

“John B, we can’t make that,” Sarah says.

He shrugs. “Okay, I’ll go take a peak, I’ll be right back.”

This is manipulation. This is plain manipulation, and the worst part is, they knowingly fall

right

into it.

“Shut the

bloody

hell up!” He gapes at Kathryn. “Way to twist our hand.”

She turns to Sarah, who looks even more scared than her. “No.”

“We don’t have a choice.

Believe me

, I wish we did.”

She winces, before nodding. What else can she do anyway? Stay behind? Yeah, as if. They barely have time to question doing

anything

, not with the flares, not with Singh on their asses.

They throw their stuff across, Kathryn purposefully hitting John B at times, before she extends her hand to the blonde.

Sarah gulps. “My life in your hand, Kat Darcy?”

She nods. “I wouldn’t do it if I thought I was going to die.”

“Yeah you would.”

“Don’t tell JJ that.”

Holding hands, they take a runner up, and leap across.

Kathryn makes the mistake of looking down as she goes, and for a moment, she has the awful feeling that she’s going to join the flare and break every bone in her body and oh my god they’re

going to die

.

They nearly send John B flying, knocking right into him.

They stand upright in an awkward group hug for a moment, muttering to each other that they made it, patting each other, until they part, just glad to be alive for a moment.

But so much more is still waiting.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go.”

They walk from chamber to chamber, then crawl, then crouch, then walk again, the whole thing never ending, nerve wracking because if there’s treasure, well, they should have found it by now.

They reach another dead end, leading right into a hole in the ground. Kathryn tilts her head, taking John B’s flare, orientating it every which way.

“It’s not that deep, but we can’t see a thing.”

Sarah shrugs. “Only one way to find out, right?”

She sighs. “After this one, it’s our last flare. Whatever happens next, we have to go back. This is literally our last shot.”

John B puts a hand on her shoulder. “Better make it count. I trust you. You got us here, really.”

They’ve been here too long, they’re exhausted. If there’s nothing there, well, there’s just nothing there and they’re going home, and it’ll be the worst thing ever, but they just jumped over a chasm, so there had been more dangerous.

Now, did Kathryn trust her gut enough to do it? Waste a shot? Only thing she did was translate glyphs. Sarah found the cave, John B the opening. If they trusted her, there had to have been a reason, right? She’d like to think so, before she does something incredibly stupid.

The flare lands on the ground, not too far from them, really. This is nowhere near as deep as they thought, everything is close enough to touch. And when she says

everything

, she means it.

Kathryn feels tears prickle at her eyes, laughter bubbling in her chest at the sight. “Oh. Oh my god.”

The red light reflects on a yellowy, orange surface. Slowly, it warms the entire ground of the cave, and it looks like stars illuminating their faces. Gold. The entire chamber is filled with

gold

.

Her eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, trying to take in everything. There’s a Kalinago sculpture of the Jaguar god on the right, carved into the stone, and in the centre of the chamber, a huge pillar made entirely of gold, scales all around it. Small towers rise from the bottom, encrusted with it, as far as the eye can see.

They’d done it. These actual, frankly stupid idiots found El Dorado. El Dorado itself, by some trick of fate, was real. Edward doesn’t even graze Kathryn’s mind. This wasn’t about getting back at him anymore, this was so much more.

Every single stalagmite is covered in gold, each one making Kathryn’s heart swell impossibly more, until hot tears are rolling down her cheeks, and she’s not sure why she’s crying, but so are John B and Sarah, holding her, shaking her, laughing with each other. She can’t tear her gaze away.

From where they stand, it looks like a little city. A city of gold.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn is nearly halfway across a rock, leaning forward trying to get a better look at the sculpted wall. Her eyes drift off to the column of gold, cheeks still wet from her teeth, but brain is running a hundred miles per hour. The surprise is gone, now, she wants to engrave it in her mind.

“They just left all of this here,” she breathes out. “The San Jose’s crew must have driven them out.”

John B is interested in something else entirely, slamming his hands down her shoulders. “Kat. You see all that on the ground?” Amongst the stalagmites, pieces of shiny rocks are scattered everywhere. “That’s loose gold, Bug.”

“Oh my god, it’s everywhere,” Sarah breathes out next to them.

Kathryn leans back, a smile easily stretching her lips. “I’ll stop the nerd-ery if we pick some of those up, that’s for sure.”

They nod, awkwardly agreeing, humming, and sliding across the smooth rock like an improvised slide.

For the following minutes, they take as much gold as they can, which isn’t a lot considering the sheer

weight

of it, but Kathryn can deal with the gym session, really, because the look on JJ’s face when he sees the gold nugget she’s picked up, oh, that’ll be worth at least half of it.

Going full Kook

indeed.

They’re laughing, giggling, really, shouting and jumping up and down as the light dims down. When they’re in darkness, Kathryn shuffles for her bag, putting the gold to the side.

“We have to haul ass, right now,” she says, heart suddenly in her throat as she holds the lit flare. “Otherwise, we’re entombed in there, and that’s not the kind of fate I want.”

John B nods. “We’ll come back for the rest. Let’s go.”

The way back is quicker – they’ve already discovered the rooms, the hidden mechanisms. The fact that time is wasting also helps. Not that it

wasn’t

before, but the very real prospect of being buried alive burrows under her skin in all the right ways to light an actual

fire

at her ass.

They’re lucky that the flare is waterproof, able to guide them under water. They’re even luckier to manage to actually swim up, with the gold in their backpacks. Now that’s they know El Dorado is right behind them, they just have to get some materials, call the authorities, make it a protected landmark and–
“

Easy now

, young Darcy, easy!”

Kathryn could start screaming.

Singh holds them at gunpoint, John B extending an arm in front of Sarah, Kathryn waddling in front of them. Singh could kill them now. He could kill them now, and find

El Dorado

. They have

nothing

to offer him in exchange, not anymore, and definitely after the stunt they pulled the night before.

“Go for a little swim now, did you?” he asks when no one dares to say anything. She quickly glances around the cave.

Where the hell is Big John?

“Step out of the water and put your hands up, all of you.

Now!

”

They don’t have much choice but to follow his orders, as he screams at them all the while, because Kathryn guesses it makes him feel better about himself? She doesn’t know, she doesn’t care, she just needs a plan out of here.

“Drop the flare. Drop it!”

She makes a face, lowering it to the ground. Dropping it is dangerous, it's

literal

fire. Her backpack nearly slings over her head from the weight of the gold.

Singh doesn’t smile, even if he seems pleased, looking at them. “Looks like you’re carrying a load there, young Darcy. You want to tell me about it?” Her jaw clicks shut. “

What

is in the bag?” he asks, detaching the syllables as if she didn’t understand the first time. “Show me what’s in the bag.”

She doesn’t move. He cocks his gun at John B. She guesses she showed her hand the night before.

“

Fine

,” she seethes, opening her backpack, showing him the gold inside. He keeps staring at her. “Hey, at least

look

at it.”

Put the gun away from John B

.

He doesn’t. No, he just shoves his hand inside and takes it out, a piece nearly too big to fit in his palm.

He inspects it, laughing, rejoicing for a work he never put in, a privilege he never deserved. Isn’t that always how it goes, with them? Finding something and getting it stolen from them the very next second.

“So, you found

El Dorado

at last. I know I was right to keep you alive, you know,” he starts screaming out to the cave, probably hoping that Big John would hear him. Kathryn wouldn’t put it past the man to be gone already. “But unfortunately for your son, the celebration will be short-lived.”

He puts the cannon right above John B’s heart, and Kathryn’s blood drains from her face, Sarah softly gasping next to her. She feels her fingers tremble, but she can’t jump Singh this time, can she? He’s too close to John B, she’d be too late before she even tries anything.

“You have three seconds to come out before I start firing,” Singh says. He cocks the gun, for emphasis.

“One.”

“He didn’t even try to save him earlier, you can’t think it’ll make him move now!”

“

Two!

”

Sarah holds John B’s hand, sobs spilling past her lips. Kathryn’s hands bawl into fists, and her stomach sinks and she thinks John B is about to die right before her eyes.

“I’m here, Singh.” A collective sigh goes through them when Big John steps out of the shadows. “Over here.”

Singh orients the gun away from John B, and that’s all that matters for half a second. The next, well, they realise that if Big John is holding something that

looks

like a flare, but it’s definitely

not

one.

It’s dynamite. He’s holding

dynamite

.

“You kill us,” he says. “I’ll make

sure

this thing blows. That roof won’t hold, and you’ll never see

El Dorado

.”

Kathryn gulps, unsure if he’s bluffing. Maybe Big John had an epiphany, like her mom did, and suddenly, he wants to make up for his bad behaviour, who knows. What she knows is that he’s about to risk it all for his son, and that’s the most admirable thing Kathryn can think of, as John B holds her and his girlfriend’s hands.

“Drop your gun,” Big John orders. Singh grimaces. “

Drop the gun!

”

He only aims it right back at John B’s chest. “Don’t be an idiot!” Kathryn cries out, voice high with despair.

“No, if my son dies,

we all die

.”

Singh shrugs. “You see, the problem is I don’t believe you, John. I don’t believe that you would blow up your opportunity to see

El Dorado

,

even

to save your own son, and even your own son knows that, you know.” John B risks a glance at his father. He can’t disagree with Singh, not on this. “You’ve proven it time and time again, John, you know that.” He holds up the gold he stole from Kathryn. “

This

John is the great quest. This is what we’ve been looking for our whole lives. So

put that thing out

, and join me.”

Kathryn clenches her jaw. Maybe if none of them had been in that situation before, she would have higher hopes. But their parents have consistently and continuously put the treasure before their children. So really, they should have known. All of them should have known better.

Big John moves to put out the dynamite. “...No, I can’t…” Her lids snap shut. She doesn’t want to see this. “This is for you, kid.”

The only thing she hears is the wind. No tongue, but always speaking. She opens her eyes. The dynamite lands right above the entry point, stuck in a crevice in the stone wall.

“

Run!

”

Kathryn shoves at Singh on her way out, dragging John B after her, the boy tugging Sarah with him.

Their shoes hit the wet ground, nearly slipping at every turn, hauling ass before the cave collapses on them.

“

Dad hurry up!

” John B tugs at Kathryn’s hand. “Take the gold.”

She stares at him, nearly shaking him. “You took time to

get it?

”

“Don’t argue– get out of here, take Sarah,

go

.”

Sarah grabs her hand and starts running before she can even think about arguing back, against his express order.

They’re out, when the dynamite goes off.

The whole ground shakes under their feet, sending them flying right into the dirt. Kathryn’s chin hits first,

hard

, her top teeth sinking in her bottom lip, piercing the skin.

She turns around hurriedly, wiping the blood from her face, placating her fingers against the wound which will definitely get infected, but at least, the first thing she sees is John B’s brown hair, lying face first next to his father.

No sign of Singh. There’s a man she won’t mourn.

“You okay?”

“You’re bleeding!”

“It’s fine, we gotta go.”

Sarah and her heave Big John up. “Anybody could have heard that blast,” he grumbles.

Evidently, that’s the

least

of their problems, as the girls move forward, running, the boys right behind. Until Sarah stops, heaving for breath, and Kathryn is forced to. What are they running from anyway? Singh’s dead!

She inhales sharply, and turns back at Big John.

He’s holding his stomach. His bleeding stomach. It soaked right through the shirt, onto his hand. At least a

pint

of blood has been lost. At least from what she can tell, she’s no Pope, but she can guess that it’s not exactly

ideal

, or liveable.

Her bag clunks loudly when she puts it down. “What the hell happened?”

“A bullet grazed me,” he heaves out, gaze zeroing on her backpack.

Her eyes blow wide. “

This is from last night?

”

“

Kat

,” he stops her dead in her tracks, pointing at the bag. “Is that what I think it is?”

She rolls her lips in her mouth. Of course he’d care more about the gold than himself. But with that kind of wound, she won’t be a bitch about it. What he needs is the rest he can get on that random rock, and help. Her and Sarah can go back to the city, and they can get it there. They found their way back in the cave, surely the rainforest is nothing.

So instead of berating the old man, she takes a deep breath, and shakes her head.

“Big John, it’s beautiful,” Sarah says, choosing to indulge him too.

Kathryn clears her throat. “I’ll, uh… I can paint it for you. If you want.” She opens her bag. “But I have a feeling you’ll like this even more.”

She takes the gold out of it. He stares, completely dumbfounded, for a second.

“We found it,” John B tells him, patting his shoulder. “Just like you and Kat said.”

The only thing he can do is breathe out “Look at that…” and cry, sniffling shakily.

Sarah grins at him. “It was like nothing you could ever imagine. It’s all, like, gold… everywhere.”

Kathryn tilts her head back and forth. “Yeah, that was sort of the point.”

“Yeah, smartass,” John B ironises. “I mean, Kat did figure out the other riddle. The walking in the dark.”

Big John smiles at her, the way he used to when she was a kid, and beat John B at whatever board game they were playing. “That a girl. Thank you, Kat.”

She offers him a lopsided grin. “Sarah found the cave, though. But I think I can confirm it was our pleasure, yeah?”

The blonde chuckles. “Oh yeah.”

Sure, she didn’t forgive him yet for what he did to John B, how he treated her and Sarah. But this was a start. And she’ll have all the time in the world to be angry at him once they are home. Oh, the

look

on Henry’s face when he’ll find that out…

“So sweet, you know?”

Kathryn raises her gaze at John B, who looks right past her. This can’t be who she thinks it is. No, because Sarah kept the guy away. And

he said

that he was here to protect his daughter, not

steal

from them again. And oh, she better not see Ward when she turns around.

But she does. Because of course –

now

they’re done with everything. Singh’s dead, they have the gold, they know the location of

El Dorado

. Now was the time for a Cameron to swoop in and take everything. It was either him or Rafe.

He aims his gun right at Big John. “One big happy family, huh?”

Kathryn extends an arm towards Sarah, tucking the gold back into her bag. “Like you’d know what that means.”

A muscle flexes in his jaw as Big John speaks up. “I’m too tired to hold my hands up, Ward. So if you’re not good with that, you can just shoot me now.”

He sighs a little. “Well, watch what you wish for, my old friend.”

“Put the gun down.”

“Shut up, Sarah.” Kathryn scowls at him, and she sees the gun point slowly towards her. “A Darcy has it all in the end, don’t they, Kat? Now you get everything, huh?”

Her lip curls over her teeth as he steps forward. “No, now you get

nothing

, and that’s fine by me.”

He reaches for the gold. She puts it further away. “Give that to me.”

“

No

.”

“Atta girl.”

The gunshot came like a crack of thunder. That’s the thing Kathryn remembers most. It was so sudden, her entire senses narrowed to the sound, tearing her eardrums. Time stood still, for a moment, and it’s Sarah’s cry that brings her back to reality.

Blood splattered on her face, she can feel it, hot across her cheek, rolling down her skin and soaking up her shirt. She thinks some spilled into her open mouth too. She’ll never get the taste out.

Ward’s eyes roll up into his skull, and he slumps at her feet. Dead. Sarah falls after him, crying and crying and crying and Kathryn can’t move. The only thing she can do is stare.

Edward Darcy has an easy smile on his face. “Now. I think you should give me the gold, Kitten.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

For the first time in weeks, Kathryn can’t move.

Ward’s blood is all over her, in her mouth, in her hair. Her fingers tremble, taunt against her bag. She feels Sarah sob against her leg, holding the corpse of her father, loving it even after he died in his sins.

Kathryn’s dad had come back with them. His sins were splattered all over his daughter, who didn’t recognise the man in front of her. This couldn’t be her father. This couldn’t be Henry’s brother. This couldn’t be– he had been so… He had been

weepy

, when she confronted him, angry, sure, but not… He wouldn’t have killed someone and smiled.

She can’t even react when he takes her back pack from her. When did he get here? Has he just been following them the whole entire time?

The thought enrages her.

Good

. She needs it.

“What have you done?” she asks, as coldly as she can. “Why?”

But he keeps smiling, as if he hadn’t just killed someone. Ward, yes, but

someone

. “It’s going to be okay, Kitten,” he coos softly at her. “We’re going to go home, now. Back to Kildare.”

Even now, when he tries to reassure her, she can see the edge in his eyes, the emptiness she never saw before. The gold hunt was everything to him, nothing else mattered. She’d known that, how could she have not? He all but told her.

Now, she just knew how far he’d go.

She swallows thickly, puts on a bravado she doesn’t have. “What makes you think I’m going to follow you?”

“Because I’m holding the gun, you fucking idiot.” He laughs, without a trace of humour. “What do you think is about to happen, Kat?

She blinks, physically recoiling from him. Kathryn takes a deep breath. She has no idea what to do. Her father’s gun goes from Big John, to John B, to Sarah, and she can only stare because she has no idea what to do and nothing makes sense. Everyone holds their breaths, because if he just killed Ward, they’re not entirely sure he won’t just kill off another one of them.

Edward tilts his head at his daughter, and grins. “This is our thing,” he tells her, and the gun settles on her. “This has always been our thing.”

She knows the underlying threat. He’ll kill everyone else if he has to.

Her lip ticks up. “I never got a say in it.”

“‘Course you didn’t, why would you?” He snorts, rolling his eyes at her. “That’s such a childish thing to say. I

offered you

more gold than you can think of, and you’re crying because you didn’t want it? This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what needed to be done. Kitten, your whole life led up to this moment.”

Her throat feels dry. “Why, because you made mum buy me the special books when I was in school?”

He blinks at her, before laughing softly. “My god. That woman really

is

scared of me, isn’t she?” He huffs. “I’ve been controlling your whole entire life, didn’t you know? I’d told Caroline I’d kill her if she ever spoke, and she found her own way around that, didn’t she… She’s clever… You, not so much.”

Her stomach felt tight, as John B tentatively joined his girlfriend, hoisting her up, and back. Kathryn still stood in front of them.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Even now, her tone leaves little space for refusal.

He lets out a long, annoyed sigh. “Do I really have to spell it out for you? I’m the reason you even got back to the Outer Banks in the first place. Do you really think you had any choice in what was going to happen? I placed my diary and the drain plug for you to find. I’m the reason Josh got interested in you in the first place. The price for going out with you was not cheap, but I knew it’d be worth it.”

The world is already spinning around her. “You’re just making things up.” He’s trying to get to her, to get under her skin.

“Am I? Because I told Carla Limbrey that Pope was a Tanny. I told her to call you. I

offered

the Cross to you on a silver platter, and Josh had the nerve to call me and say that you seemed

bored

of it? I just had to come back. I couldn’t have that.”

Kathryn can only open, and close her mouth. She hears John B call out her name, but it’s all background noise as Edward keeps speaking, and keeps

tallying up

all the reasons why Kathryn’s life had

never

been her own.

“Didn’t you notice, Kat? That gold hunt may have started with a Tanny, but oh, it had

Darcy

written all over it.”

Her father had trapped her. Her whole life was closing in on her, leading her here. There had been no other path, no other choice. She had thought those exact words – everything led to a Darcy, she never thought it’d be

her

.

This wasn’t a gift. This was a trap. This was a self-fulfilling prophecy she never could have escaped. She

never

escaped. Every single one of her steps had been her father’s. She had become who he needed her to be. She’d led him

right

to

El Dorado

.

At every turn, his shadow had been looming, and Kathryn had been right to consider him a god, but that’s what he was. A puny god toying with her life, pulling her strings apart and stitching her up together

just so

he could unravel her again. Except, except…

“What about JJ? Was that part of your plan too?”

He smiles, pleased. “Now you’re catching on. No, that was… surprising. I didn’t peg you for the bad boy type, but that was okay. JJ’s just a kid begging for scraps, I was sure he’d force you along down the gold hunt. Trust a Maybank to try and get rich, right?” She doesn’t answer. “I have to admit, that little drain plug fiasco was fun to watch. I had Josh tell you

just

at the right time. But you know what, kid? It wasn’t even true.” He bursts out laughing.

Laughing at her

. “You think a Maybank could put his hands on my property? You’re dead wrong.”

Kathryn’s fingers twitch. Her head tilts to the side. Less scared, her face is blank, devoid of all emotions. “Is that what you told him?”

Edward doesn’t care to be liked anymore. What’s the point? He already has

El Dorado

on a platter. Is there any length Kathryn won’t go to, to save her friends? No, and they both know it, so there was no need to pretend.

“No,

KD

,” he says, his voice mocking. Kathryn’s jaw clenches. “I just told him the truth. Well, that and if he didn’t break up with you, I’d make sure he’d go to jail for whichever felony he committed. There’s quite a lot, actually. When that didn’t work, I told him you’d never see Yale.” His face lights up. “Right, Yale! Nice timing, wasn’t it? Gave you a nice kick to get back on the horse, uh?”

She doesn’t answer. Instead, she stares him down wordlessly for a handful of seconds. Of course JJ would cave when her father tried to take her dream away from her.

Of course

that’s what did it, because why wouldn’t it be? But that wasn’t the part that she cared about, not right now.

She licks her lips, bites them, and winces at the cut that’s already there. “What truth?”

There’s a scream. A yell, really, voice overlapping each other, and they blink back at the Pogues running in. Her father’s back is turned to them, and Kathryn doesn’t have time to feel better at seeing JJ, feel scared that Billy is here, too. Or the fact that they all somehow have machetes – it’s all relayed to the background for the time being.

Kathryn crouches and stands up from Ward’s body in a flash.

“Kat,” John B’s voice comes from behind her, low, and warning.

He saw it. He sees what she hides in the waistband of her shorts. The cold metal of the gun chills her spine.

Edward points his gun at the teenagers, too relaxed for what’s happening, but two can play at that game.

JJ holds his machete high in the air. He remembers the last time he saw Kat, the last time he saw Edward. She was unconscious. And he had said that next time he saw the man, he’d be dead.

Welcome to next time.

“You’re outnumbered, Darcy,” he says, voice low.

“What are you gonna do, shoot us all?” Pope cries out at him.

“If you’re going to kill anyone, Edward, kill

me

,” Big John tries.

Edward tilts his head back and forth. “Yeah, actually, wanna be first?”

“

Hey!

” Kathryn barks out at him, stepping forward, forcing him to look at her. She’s so close to him, the cannon of the gun presses against her chest. “We were having a conversation, here.

What

did you tell him?”

JJ knows from her tone what this is about. His blood runs cold.

No

. A part of him fears that she’ll believe her dad, because that’s what Kathryn had always been wired to do. He doesn’t want to see her face when she hears them. She seemed so eerily calm, he wasn’t sure what Edward had just said to her, before that, but she was in no state to hear the next words.

The other part of him just doesn’t want to hear the words again.

Edward had little consideration for his daughter’s feelings, and even less for her boyfriend’s.

“I told him he was a

rat

. A little rat that kept slipping through the bars, a rat who deluded himself into thinking he could ever deserve my daughter. I told him that you, Kitten, were going to eat him raw, just because I’d ask you to.” She bites her lip harder. “I told him that one day, you’ll be famous. Thanks to me, everyone would know who you are. And he would still be rotting on the Outer Banks, with the rest of his trash.”

Kathryn takes great care in not crossing JJ’s eyes. Not even when Billy whispers his name, softly. Not even when Edward grins at her. Because she knows two things. First, her father wants her back home with him. The gun may be pointed at her chest, but she knows he won’t kill her. Good. That worked for her.
Second: he wants her to be his daughter.
He wants her to be his toy. His creation. His monster. Fine. Fine, she’ll be Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy if he wants her to. She’ll be his goddamn legacy.

It started with blood.

Henry was the one who taught her how to throw a punch. Closed fist, thumb out. Her knuckles hit Edward’s cheek hard enough to swell when he held it, staring back at her with wide eyes.

The pain is so striking, he doesn’t realise until it’s too late that he lost his gun somewhere in the rainforest, set flying.

Or that Kathryn is the one holding him at gunpoint now.

“Kat–”

“No, no, this is the part where you

shut up

.”

The rainforest is silent, safe for their heavy breathing. Kathryn would love to say that she hesitates, the gun in hand, that it shakes, but it does not. Its aim is straight, unwavering. Right between her father’s eyes. There are no tears in hers.

“You’re not going to kill me,” he says.

She laughs. “Are you going to bet on it? Look at me. I’m what you made me, aren’t I? I’m

you

. Do you want to see how far that’s going to get me?”

She sees it in her father’s eyes, the tiniest bit of doubt. He crafted her whole life, he knows exactly the kind of monster he’d birthed. He knew exactly how far she’d go to save the Pogues. About a mile away from where he’d stop for the gold.

Yes, Kathryn would kill him. Without much hesitation, too.

He blinks, scrambling for whatever excuse he could use to make her change her mind. “You’re not me, Kat, not yet. And we both know you don’t want that.”

She sucks her teeth. “If you’re going to beg, do it properly.”

He closes his eyes, swallows thickly. “

Please

.”

Kathryn had her own personal god begging for mercy.

Only then did her eyes flicker up, to find her favourite shade of blue. Only then did she feel like she could breathe. JJ just nods, like he already knows what she was going to do. Maybe he did, but she sure as shit didn’t.

She owes everything to her dad. All her accomplishments were

his

, because he made it so, because this was the only thing she could do, the only thing she knew how to do. Edward wasn’t tugging the strings anymore. Was murder going to be her first choice? It felt right for it to be, this had already started with Kathryn standing covered in blood.

But there were things he hadn’t planned. Max teaching her how to make pancakes. Billy and her overnight crammings before a big test.Henry and her, hunched over the open hood of a car. Late nights at the Château, even later mornings with John B, making breakfast. JJ’s hands on her back when they hugged, his fingers on the crease between her eyebrows. The paint stains on her skin at ungodly hours of the morning.

They were

hers

. Kathryn had things that belonged to her

only

. Warm things. Softness.

The hand of god had let go of her strings as soon as he pleaded for mercy.

“You’re right,” she tells her dad, who heaves out a sigh. “I’m never going to be you.”

She hands John B the gun. Half-gesture, half-knowing that Edward was surrounded by five very angry teenagers armed with machetes. She pats her father’s chest, once. An absent reminder. This used to be out of love.

“Thank you, Kitten–”

“I’m

not

you,” she repeats, stepping back, away from his grip. “I won’t kill you, because I know it would destroy me. You died once before, and I built you into a god. I won’t make that mistake again. So I’m not going to murder you. I’m not going to inflict that on myself. I’m not going to inflict myself

anything

anymore, and it certainly won’t be the rage you passed down onto me. I deserve better.”

She looks up at him, at the man, because that’s what he was, a

man

, who she’d wanted nothing more than to be like. The man she only ever wanted to resemble, to have a tie with. She broke that tie. Ripped it in half.

She takes the gold from him. He doesn’t fight, why would he? He’s surrounded. She won.

Kathryn smiles, bright. “I’m not you, dad, because I’m better.” His eyes darken. “You don’t like that, do you? The weak daughter that almost threw it all away because she liked a boy.” She pouts at her father, mocking him. “You got what you wanted. I found

El Dorado.

That’s what you used me for. The silent figure in the background of the story, that swoops in just in time to get all the credit, uh? That’s not going to happen now, and you’re just pissy because no one will ever know your name.”

She could see it, how sickening that thought was to him. That the monster he’d created had

outdone

him. Worse, that she was

right

. Even as he grappled with pretexts and last ditch efforts to save himself.

“Without my journal–”

She laughs. “Your journal? If I hadn’t corrected your mistakes, we never would have found the place. You were

wrong

. I was right. I’ll make sure everyone knows it.”

Kathryn leans closer, so he hears the venom in her voice, so she sees it burn down his veins.

“Everyone will know me, dad. They’ll know

my

name. Not yours,

mine

. And I hope that thought kills you.”

He stares at her, defiant. The only reason he wanted Kathryn to find

El Dorado

was because the shadow of his name would always follow her. Because he would be known, his name would be said before anyone ever thought about what

she

accomplished.

That plan had fallen apart, and Kathryn had the pleasure of watching the realisation spread across his face. This was his loss, now.

Her

great success.

Edward was no longer a god. He could stand in the shadow of a girl.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathryn won’t look away from her father. She’s scared that if she does, he’ll think he’s won, and that thought was insulting. He’d lost for the last time. There was no way he would get back from this, and they both knew it. This was just the last shred of Kathryn’s paranoia giving a final cry.

She’d won, and she

does

hope the thought killed him.

“Yeah?” A gun cocks from behind them. “Well I’ve got something better than a thought.”

Her eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets, glancing up at JJ, and then turning around. This was the

third

time today. This was getting old, and that came from someone who was kidnapped five times. Still, adrenaline and fear rushed through her veins all at once. This wasn’t Ward, this wasn’t Edward. She had no way to know if the man in front of her wouldn't shoot to kill.

Kathryn recognises him, as John B holds his own gun up. It’s the man that nearly killed him, back at the

temalacatl

. One of Singh’s men. A killer. He wouldn’t bat an eye, spilling their blood.

When he sees what the teenage boy does, he aims the gun at Big John panting heavily, thrown across the rock. He wouldn’t

mind

.

“

Toss it

.”

No one dares to say anything. Big John’s voice comes out, tired. “Your boss is dead. You got no reason to do this.”

“I can think of a few reasons.

Toss it!

”

John B has no choice. He lowers the gun, and lets it drop on the ground.

Kathryn’s heart is still hammering in her chest from her father’s confrontation, she barely has time to process anything. She tries to inch towards JJ as best as she can, walking backwards without looking, away from Edward.

“

Nobody move!

” She was almost there, arm held back, she felt JJ’s finger brush against her’s. “My mate back there is dead.”

She remembers. The man Ward shot, to save her. Her eyes drift to his corpse, now further away from her. She glances at Sarah. Her eyes are red-rimmed, wide with fear and grief. She looks at Edward, stepping closer to her despite the man’s order. He gives a single nod of his head towards the man. She turns back to him.

He’s staring right at her.

“Because of

you

.”

The colour drains from her face. JJ’s fingers slip from her grip, and she hears a low, warning ‘Jayj’ from Kie. He’s getting ready to strike, she can tell without seeing him. Kathryn doesn’t know what to do. But she knows that whatever happens, she won’t cry.

The man smiles. “You go first.”

She remembers the feeling of unescaping doom, holding the pill bottle in her hand. The fear she had. Would it hurt? Would she go down in pain? Or would it feel like sleeping? Living had been so much worse than that prospect. No pain in death would ever compare to the one of being alive.

Kathryn had no montage of her life, in that bleak moment. No, because it would have held her back, wouldn’t it? It’s like her brain had snapped any tether she had to the world. This had been her only way out. The only way to feel

peace

.

Now, she couldn’t help it. The memories were the only thing she had.

Sarah forcing her to go to the beach. The morning with John B, and the pancakes Max made. Sitting on the Château’s docks, thinking about what they’d do if they ever found the gold. Making pancakes with Bee until two A.M.. Midsummers, finding the gold.

Billy arriving on the island. Her best friend coming back from the dead. That night at the Château, before he was taken away from her. Finding the key with Pope, discovering he was a Tanny, Cecilia’s grave, the Cross. Meeting Cleo.

Poguelandia. Coming back home, to Henry. The lazy mornings with Kie. Caroline apologising to her. Finding

El Dorado

.

JJ, JJ, JJ. JJ on the beach her first night back, JJ taking her hands to get her out of a panic attack, JJ at the Midsummers, JJ at Craine’s house, JJ holding her, promising to wait. JJ in her studio, JJ in the car after she saved him from the cops, JJ at the Château, so careful, so sweet, JJ annoying her at school, JJ’s face when she kissed him for the first time. JJ always coming for her when she needs it, JJ hugging her when she got into Yale.

His face, his eyes, the slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, the sandy blonde hair, the pouty smile. His fingers, rubbing the spot between her eyebrows.

It was all him.

Then, comes the most damning realisation. That she had gotten a second chance, and she seized it. That she had bargained with her life more than once, because she could, because she didn’t care what happened, not really. It allowed people to use her, and now, how could she not care? Her being was filled with memories of people she loved.

Kathryn doesn’t want to die.

Something brushes against her arm. Her father’s hand. He’s smiling. Content. Victorious. Kathryn wished she didn’t understand why.

She’d told him – his death would destroy her again. She’d given him the upper hand.

Edward was her worst traits personified. He didn’t mind dying as long as he was right, as long as he was winning. The fire in him burned him alive, and he had let it for too long. There was no saving him, not anymore. Kathryn hated it. She hated him.

She reaches for her dad when he runs in front of her. The first bullet is already mortal. The second drives the point home. The third makes her scream.

Edward slams against the man, and sends them both flying down the cliff.

Kathryn’s air is knocked clean out of her lungs. She inhales, a ragged sound.

“Bug–”

“

KD?

”

She doesn’t answer. She just steps forward, and stands over the edge. Her father’s body is down there. Even vertigo doesn’t make her half as sick, staring at the blood pooling around him.

Kathryn doesn’t cry. She thinks she hasn’t quite realised what happened, not yet. The corpse she sees is a dummy, not a living human being. Not her dad, and the fake memories she had of him.

Cold hands are on her arms. Then, JJ tugs her to him, hugging her shoulders. She has half a mind to wrap her arms around his waist, rest her face in the crook of his neck. She should be crying, she realises. She should be sobbing, but nothing comes.

Her dad is dead, and Kathryn doesn’t cry.

She closes her eyes, nearly slouching against JJ. He smells like the sun.

“Big John?” Billy’s voice comes out, too high. “Hey, Big John?”

🍓

Big John dies on the boat back home.

John B’s hand is covered with blood when she holds it, as his father takes his last breath. His last words are about home. He won’t see it again.

She lets Sarah hold him. Kathryn brushes the hair out of JJ’s wet cheek, plants a kiss there.

There are three graves to build, when they get home, and only one body to bury.

Max cries a lot, holding his baby sister. Henry asks questions. Questions about what happened, why did they go,

where

did they go, and why Edward wasn’t back. Kathryn tells him the truth; he died to save her.

Henry cries too, and says that it’s the one good thing he ever did.

Kathryn doesn’t cry.

Later, she’s lying in bed with JJ, her head on his chest, his fingers playing in her hair. The silence in the room is soft, light, despite all that happened. Kathryn fidgets with his ring, on her thumb.

“You found

El Dorado

,” he says. “Don’t think I’m getting over that.”

She looks up at him. “Are you trying to find the good in the situation? Because my father has a makeshift grave in the garden.”

He tightens his grip on her. “I think I’m distracting us.”

She hums, drawing lazy shapes on his stomach. They’re both pretty good at avoiding the situation, anyway.

Ward, then her dad, then Big John. A Cameron, a Darcy, and a Routledge. Lana Grubbs had been scared that it’d mean her and John B’s deaths, following in their footsteps. That it was meant to happen, no matter what.

Now that it was over, Kathryn thinks she just had the wrong ones in mind.

“It’s weird,” she breathes out. “It feels weird. We never got a break, through this whole thing. Not once. And now… I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Kathryn feels like something ended with

El Dorado

. The Merchant led to the gold, the gold led to the Limbrey, Limbrey led to the Cross, the Cross to the journal, and the journal to

El Dorado

.

El Dorado

leads to… nothing. It was all settled, now. Eerily calm.

She never expected the end to be so abrupt. She was running, and then, there was no more finish line. Just a cliff, and her father’s body at the bottom of it.

“Well,” JJ starts. “We’re going to be filthy rich. I’m going to buy a charter boat. Get as much fish as I can with my little hands. And a new bike.” She laughs a little. “You’re gonna go to Yale, and do some super nerdy shit. I’ll pretend I’m not into that. And we’ll be okay.”

She nods, and stretches up to kiss his lips, softly, because hers still hurts. He kisses the wound softly before letting her go.

“I love you,” she says, nestling back against him.

“I love you, too.”

She stares at her room, in the darkness. Her yellow bed sheets, the clutter on her desk. The picture of her dad and mom, her mother crossed out. She remembers sitting here, thinking about her father, missing him, a few months ago. When nothing had happened yet.

He wasn’t a good man. He’d never been a good man. She had tweaked every single memory she’d had of him. The very idea of him was corrupted. What he’d done to JJ… that was unforgivable.

“He was wrong, you know?” she tells him. “About you.”

She feels him stiffen against her. “I know. I know, now.” She doesn’t blame him for doubting it. Kathryn herself took her father’s word as gospel.

She doesn’t say anything, for a moment. She doesn’t feel like it needs to be said, really. But the words are heavy on her tongue, and JJ’s grip on her is soft.

“I think he died hoping to be a martyr, or some shit. That’s what happened the first time. He died and I made him the most important person in my life. I guess he thought wrong. Wouldn’t be that much of a shocker.”

Because this is how this whole thing started, isn’t it? Kathryn sitting in bed, grieving her father, worshipping him. Now she knew what kind of man he was. Could grief really change it again?

How did it change it in the first place?

“You know, you can be sad,” he says. “He was still your dad.”

JJ holds her, when she starts crying.

Her father had never been a nice man. But she could recognise the role he had in shaping her without hating it. The shape of a monster, the shape she had been content with, for so long. But no more. That monster’s rage had never been directed at the world – always at herself, the rest was just collateral damage. It was different, now. She could hate him, and not hate herself for it.

She could grieve her father the right way, this time.

Kathryn doesn’t know what’s going to happen next. Her whole life had always been a succession of her, running after every breaking wave. Each one nearly swallowed her whole. It was the first time she held her head above the surface long enough to feel the sun on her face.

It was time to stop. It was time to breathe something else but the salty liquid that burned her lungs, to stop

forcing

her head down. She got out.

She was not her father’s daughter. She was not her mother’s daughter, either. And most of all, Kathryn had

never

been a monster. Disguised as one, sure.

Acted

like one, oh, yes, on more than one occasion. But that’s not what she was, to her core. It took her a long time to realise it, but she could see it now.

Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy was going to be a girl again, softness and all. Stripped to her core, that’s all there ever was. Softness. Heart. Memories.

The rest is lost at sea.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

December 24th, 2020

Christmas on the OBX always went one way. On the twenty-fourth, the Pogues celebrated with their families. It often meant that JJ would go to the Château, with Big John and John B. On the twenty-fifth, they’d all regroup there. No presents allowed, only a fun hangout. That rule was heavily directed at Kat, most of the time.

This was her first Christmas back. She wasn’t sure how it was going to go, considering the last time she celebrated it. Well, celebrated wasn’t exactly the word, but she was willing to erase the memory entirely from her mind. Eager to, really.

“Chess is for old people,” Henry calls out, walking into the living room with a red sweater on. “Can’t you kids be normal, for once?”

Kat barely hums, moving the pieces across the board. “I can once I’ve won.”

“Sorry?” Billy giggles in front of her, wearing one of Kat’s cardigans. “More like prepare to lose, Darcy.”

Billy hasn’t won a single chess game against Kat. Not once. Maybe she’s waiting for some Christmas miracle? It wasn’t going to come, but who was she to crush her dreams…

“Why do you do that to yourself?” Max asks, carrying a plate of potatoes for the table.

His sister narrows her eyes at him after her turn. “Because no one else will play with Kitty, because you’re all a bunch of

wuss

.”

Kat snorts. “Yeah, what she said. Checkmate, by the way, babe.”

She blinks at the board, a few times, to make sure Kat didn’t cheat. “Frick you.”

She laughs so loud she barely hears the doorbell. Then, she nearly falls on her face, getting up in a hurry and rushing for the door before either one of her uncles – but mostly Henry – gets a chance to open it before her.

The twenty-fourth was family night. Which is exactly why Kat opens the door for JJ.

For a handful of seconds, they just stare at each other. Kat, because she isn’t sure she’s ever seen him in actual jeans that reach his feet. A dress shirt, yes, at Midsummers. Oh, she remembers that well.

JJ, because he always needs a few seconds whenever he sees Kat dressed up… Or whenever he sees her, really. Especially since she’s currently wearing black jeans and the simplest red shirt.

She arches a brow, grinning at him. “You clean up nice, Maybank.”

He splutters. “You’re pretty clean too.” She rolls her lips in her mouth, trying not to laugh. He goes beet red. “I mean, yeah same. You’re pretty.”

She learns against the doorframe. “Thanks.” Then, Kat juts her chin to the box in his hands. “I thought there was a clear no gifts rule?”

“Well, it ain’t Christmas yet,” he tells her, shrugging a shoulder. “Besides, it's not exactly a gift.”

She narrows her eyes at him, stepping forward. “Cool. Mine isn’t really a gift either.”

He grins back. “We’re not exactly good at this following rules thing are we?”

“Tell that to ‘No Pogue on Pogue macking.’”

She pushes herself up on her toes and cups the back of his neck to kiss him softly. Her heart swells in her chest when his hand finds her cheek, stroking her cheekbone.

She didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.

“

My eyes!

My eyes!” Henry cries out behind them. “Guys please stop I’m going to kill myself I swear.”

JJ looks less scared than he did, four months ago, whenever he was in the same room as Henry. But there is

still

an uneasiness to him that has his cheeks grow even redder than they did a second ago.

Max swats at his fiancé. “Come in, kid. Ignore him.”

Kat takes JJ’s hand and tugs him inside. She lets him put his gift under the tree, before holding onto his arm tightly. Billy, though, is still staring at the chessboard when he comes in.

“Hi John John.”

“Hi Willy.”

South America really had a weird way of bringing people together…

Dinner goes well. JJ dunks half of the potatoes on his plate which prompts Max to hurriedly get another plate from the kitchen, and Henry to burst out laughing, because he takes the other half.

JJ doesn’t move his hand off of Kat’s knee the whole entire time, and her cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

When dinner ends and they move to sit in the living room, Max and Billy are firmly against opening presents on the twenty-fourth. Henry does whatever his fiancé says. Which explains why the three are in a corner, talking amongst themselves, and Kat and JJ are seated in front of the tree. Kat is much too intrigued to not want to open JJ’s present as soon as she can.

But she’s more excited for him to open his.

She hands him what seems to be a huge square. Canvas shaped. Kat licks her lips nervously. “Before you ask, yeah, it’s from memory.”

The shape was enough to bring his heartrate up, but this was confirmation of what her gift was. He’d nearly lost his mind the first time around, so…

He shreds the wrappings in three seconds flat.

Kat had been wanting to do a stained glass study since

forever

. She loved to see how the light ricocheted, on the surface, loved to see it mix with the subject. The subject was JJ.

He thinks he can pinpoint some memories based on the background – the blue lighting was on her porch, just outside, when they opened her letter for Yale. The pink one was that picture of them, at the Château, right after John B got out of jail. The yellow one had her studio in the background, and he knew it was their first kiss. It was every moment Kat had fallen for JJ, again, and again, and again.

The fragmentation of an emotion in a dozen little poems.

“You can hang it at your house,” she says. “If you want to.”

He doesn’t trust himself to speak, not for a few seconds, at least.

“Yeah I’m actually going to make it into a wallpaper? Plaster it everywhere. Or send it to some fancy museum, you’ll just have to tell me which one.”

She snorts, and pushes him away. She’s aware that he’s deflecting with a joke because he doesn’t know how to react, but she doesn’t mind. Instead, she dives straight for her own box.

She narrows her eyes at him. “Can I shake it or is it a puppy?”

He stares at her. “KD, why would I put a puppy in a box?”

She doesn’t answer, simply sticking her tongue out at him. She opens the box, and realises exactly what it was in the first place. A

shoe

box.

Her pair of favourites Mary-Janes are sitting inside. The ones she threw at him, when they broke up. He kept them. For two months. But he didn’t just keep them, no.

“I asked Billy to ask you what kinda paint to use for leather and shit? I thought it’d be obvious but you know, desperate times.”

Yellow tulips. JJ drew yellow tulips all over the black shoes. And he varnished them, too, so that they’d stay, and Kat’s heart is nearly leaping out of her chest as she kicks off her Christmas socks to put them on. They’re not accurate, and the lines are squiggly, but she loves them so much it hurts.

They still fit. JJ took something broken and made it beautiful, and Kat is convinced this isn’t the first time.

She bats the tears away with a blink. “You know what. I love them even more. And that’s hard considering they were my favourite pair.” She brushes some strand of blonde hair out of his eyes. “I love you.”

He smiles. JJ has a hard time saying he loves her in public, showing emotion in public for that matter, but it’s okay. His smile holds everything she needs, leaning her forehead against his.

He plays with the ring on her thumb. Everything that’s happened has been worth it.

“Hey, kid.” JJ looks at Henry, sitting a little more upright next to Kat. “Nice bike you got. Mind showing it to me?”

The last time JJ talked to one of Kat’s father figures one-on-one, it didn’t end well. But this was Henry, and he was

lightyears

away to who Edward had been. And Kat is smiling reassuringly, so he isn’t all that nervous.

Just a healthy bit.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.”

She kisses the corner of his lips before he stands up, and watches as he leaves. Then, she turns to Max.

“He wouldn’t just shoot him, right?”

Max makes a face. “I guess we’ll find out.”

Billy hits her brother. “Don’t say stuff like that. You’ll be proven right and I can’t have that.”

JJ thinks it’s exactly what’s going to happen, as he steps outside with Henry. They walk towards his bike, and he can see him inspect it with actual care.

Maybe he

did

want to see his bike?

Well, whatever, it’s kind of freezing outside, and JJ wants to go back in and stare at the painting Kat offered him until it’s burned into his retinas. Not that he particularly liked staring at himself. More like it floored him to see himself through her eyes.

It reminded him that he deserved everything good. That he deserved Kat.

“Kat told me what Edward…” He trails off, shaking his head. “What he said to you. About you.”

His back is turned to the teenager, who blinks a few times to make sure he heard right, which makes no sense, but neither does the conversation, not right now. Not after two months. Not when Edward’s makeshift grave is so close to them.

It already took him

so long

to get over it. Kat helped, of course, but sometimes, it was hard to remind himself that Edward had been wrong. If Henry agreed, he was going to do something idiotic, he could feel it.

“I think… I think you need to hear this, kid. And maybe I’m talking out of my ass, because I know Kat already says it to you everyday, going by how dramatic she is– but you need to hear it from me, and I need to make sure you understand.”

JJ nearly backtracks when Henry turns to him, hands clasping his shoulders. “Mister H, I’m sorta–”

“You’re a good kid.” The words die out in his throat. “You’re a great kid, and you love Kat. You treat her well. That’s all we ever needed to know about you. I don’t give a fuck who your dad is as long as you make her smile. And you do. Jesus, kid, I never see her smile more than when she’s with you.”

It takes him a moment to find his words. When he does, they’re all chopped up. “Uh… thanks, I… Thanks.” He hopes to god Henry can’t see the tears in the darkness.

“C’mere.” He tugs him into a hug. “You’re family, JJ. You’re a part of this family.” He laughs a little. “And, frankly, that’s whether you like it or not.”

JJ blinks tears away. He likes it. He likes it very much.

🍓

June 15th, 2021

Henry and Max get married on a Spring night. The party goes on and on, and the two husbands can’t seem to let go of each other for a single second. All the Pogues are invited – Sarah keeps making eyes at John B each time a speech is said, each time marriage is mentioned, which, as we can guess, is a lot. Kie doesn’t miss a single eye contact, but each time Kat catches her, she nudges her, and takes her by the elbow to dance, Cleo and Pope dancing with her. Billy watches, wiping her tears every so often. Max is her big brother, and he’s finally happy.

Kat dances with JJ. The music swirls around them, carrying the words from Henry’s speech with them. It’s in every glance they share, every brush of a hand, every smile.

‘

If you’re like me and you have no fucking idea how to do this shit, here’s something I’ve learned. Whoever told you love doesn’t wait was a liar. All love does is wait.

’

Kat agrees, whole heartedly, when she says to JJ, “Wanna get out of there?”

“Lead the way,” he says, taking her hand.

She thinks she hears John B whistle at them as they leave, but she doesn’t pay it much attention.

They walk back in silence towards the Palace, in the dead of night. They don’t say a word, but she figures they don’t have to. They both know each other enough to hear every little word in the silence.

And every little question and worry hidden behind jokes.

“It was wild seeing mister H actually cry,” JJ says, swinging their hands together.

Kat snorts. “As if you won’t cry when you get married.”

He flexes his bicep. “Can’t cry. I’m a dude.”

She pinches it. “You

better

cry.”

His smile turns cheeky. “Oh? ‘Cause you’ll be there?”

“Are we sure we want to play that game?” she smirks back at him.

He blinks. “...No.”

“Good boy.” Kat kisses the corner of his mouth. “I think I’ll be there

exclusively

to see you cry.”

He clears his throat. “I don’t think I mind as long as you’re here.”

Her smile dims. When she kisses him, it’s soft, and loving, and full of promises to keep.

JJ leans away for a second. “We’re not pulling a JB and Sarah, though.”

“Um?” She holds up their hands. “But you’ve already given me a ring?”

She laughs at the face he makes, until he starts to laugh, too.

‘

It waits for the right person to show up, for the right moment to appear, until you’re in it, and the only thing you’re left with is the damning realization that there was no other way for it to happen, no other person.

’

Kat and JJ are silent again, when she leads them up to her studio.

She kisses him, not so soft, but passionately, fearlessly, with all her might. He kisses back like he wants to learn every crevice of her, every single detail, by heart. His hands explore her body with excruciating delicacy, reverently.

Kat’s hands are in his hair, on his cheeks, trailing under his dress shirt, leaving blazing trails wherever they touch. Her heart is in her throat, nearly bursting everytime he groans in her mouth, and she thinks she might combust.

‘

If you’re lucky enough, someone will love you. And if you’re brave, you can allow yourself to love them too. You’ll find that love really is all around if you’re courageous enough to see it. To wait for it.

’

She takes one of JJ’s hands, and carefully lifts it, towards her heart. He thumbs at her ring when she looks up at him through her lashes. She keeps staring at him as she brings his fingers under the sleeve of her golden dress.

She watches the way his throat bobs, the way his eyes darken, the uncertainty there, and love. So much love.

“Are you sure?” he breathes out.

Kat swallows thickly, and nods. “Yes. I want… I want it to be you. I want

you

.”

JJ kisses her, softly, making her retreat until her legs hit the sofa. Kat never looks away, as she lowers herself down onto the furniture, tugging JJ with her. He braces his arms on each side of her face, hovering over her.

Kat almost has to squint, from how bright he looks. Like the sun. His eyes are sparkling. Hers are full of stars, and he decides, as he kisses her again, that Kat looked like the moon. Light in the dark.

“I love you,” he whispers against her lips.

She kisses back. Kat had never felt so sure of anything else in her life.

She had never felt so loved, either, as when JJ held her against him, skin to skin, his hair falling onto her forehead, peppering kisses on her lips, her nose, her cheeks, her temples, anywhere he could touch.

Kat gives as much as she gets, shaking fingers trailing up his arms, down his back, and up to his hair. She kisses the spot between his brows, and nearly drowns in the adoration written in his eyes.

Even then, even in his embrace, he smiles, kisses the column of her throat and nuzzles it to make her laugh, the sound heavenly to his ears. He makes her

laugh

, actually laugh, and he makes her comfortable, and Kat had never pictured herself smiling in that moment. With a deep, concentrated smile, maybe. Terrified, that was a given.

She grins. And exhales breath chuckles. She wasn’t scared. Not in the slightest. Kat feels safe, and at ease. JJ makes her feel like that.

And then, he makes her feel everything at once.

‘

Love will wait, if you’re willing to wait for it too.

’

🍓

August 31st, 2021

“Kat, where do I put this?” Cleo asks, carrying her easel.

Kat pokes her head around the corner of her living room. “Just put it wherever Bee chose to put the coffee table.”

“... In the middle of the living room?” Sarah wonders aloud.

Kie sighs. “Yeah, that’s what we get for letting him choose where to set it down.”

JJ shrugs, carrying a cardboard box of Kat’s yellow trinkets. She has a whole bunch of them. Most of them are just things he picked up – … legally … – and hid for her to find. He can see some of them are missing, but he’ll have time to bring them back to her. Yale is only a ten hour car drive away.

“I don’t know,” he says. “It’s Art Deco and shit.”

“Not what it means,” Pope and Kat call out at the same time.

“Whatever. Babe, where do I put this?”

“Uh…” She vaguely gestures to her room. “Just put it on my bed. I’ll sort it out later.”

John B slams down onto her couch dramatically. Billy winces. “Dude, downstairs neighbors…”

“I don’t care. Let them hear. Kat’s killing me.”

She sits down next to him on her green sofa, pushing his legs to have some room. “I knew I should have let Henry and Max help me move. You’re all useless.” She gets a handful of looks. “Okay,

John B’s

useless.”

He holds his thumb up. “I’m useless ‘cause I’m dead.” Then he abruptly stands up, shaking her. “Please feed me. Please. Inaugurate this place with pancakes.”

She giggles, pushing him away. “Yeah, as soon as the box with the kitchen stuff actually makes it

to the kitchen

.”

Kie walks around the living room, staring out the window. Kat’s flat is mainly composed of her huge living room, the windows running all over the walls, letting the light in. It wasn’t decorated yet, but Kat already knew she wanted to paint some of that glass.

“It’s a cute place,” Kie says. “You could have gotten something bigger, though.”

Kat shrugs. “Too big would have just felt empty.”

Billy nodded. She knew that feeling. “Besides, it also means more space to clean!”

“I think it’s cool,” Pope says.

“So do I,” Sarah easily agrees.

JJ shrugs. “Could use a fountain.”

Cleo stares at him. “A– where would we put it, idiot?”

He doesn’t answer, but then again, there wasn’t really an answer needed there.

Moving Kat in took the whole day. She decides to call it quits when John B just

falls asleep

on the couch, everybody working around him, and getting berated the second they made too much noise for him.

Kat’s new flat is nowhere near big enough to house them all for the night. JJ stays, but they all got a hotel in the city. That’s thanks to the

El Dorado

money.

It was all so weird. Even if she knew that they were going to be okay, she couldn’t shake that feeling from her bones. Kat had come back to the OBX after four years away, and she was leaving again, and it all left a weird taste in her mouth.

Of course, it was going to be different. She’d come back, on her breaks. For Christmas, and reading weeks. March next year, they had that ceremony the OBX held for them, to commemorate their expedition. The Outer Banks would still be her home.

Maybe that was what made her so… bittersweet.

“What’s going to happen now?” she asks JJ, who’s resting on her stomach, playing with the chords of her pyjama shorts. “I mean. Realistically, I know. Classes start soon, so, that.”

He hums, the sound reverberating through her body, as he’s thrown over her lazily. “You excited for classes?”

Her whole face lights up. “Yeah.”

He snorts. “Nerd.” She shakes him in retaliation. “Wait, so, sorry, what’d you mean? About what’s going to happen?”

She brushes his hair away from his face. “For us, I guess. Last time I left it wasn’t–”

“It’s not like last time,” he interjects.

Kat makes a face at him, tilting it to the side. “For me, no. For you?”

He stares at her, maybe for longer than he should, before burying his face in her stomach. “Dunno what you mean. You’re coming back.”

“I am,” she confirms.

“And I know it.”

“You did back then, too.”

He did. He remembers how awful it’d felt, to keep waiting for Kat over and over again, only for her to show up as a twisted version of herself. And then, he’d loved that version, too.

He doesn’t think there’s a version of her he doesn’t love.

“If you’re trying to break up with me, I’m gonna be the one to kidnap you.”

She bursts out laughing, forcing him to lay down next to her. They turn to their sides, facing each other. Kat is smiling, so he guesses he got the wrong idea. Or she’s cruel. Or she wants revenge, and you know, he could understand that.

“

No

,” she says as he traces her face with the tips of his fingers. “I’m just… let’s have an agreement, okay?”

He puts his hand on her mouth. “Dude, this keeps getting worse for me.”

She licks his palm. He yelps.

“Jay, let me finish my sentence,” she asks, voice light and filled with laughter. “Let’s just agree that if with the distance you fall out of love–”

“Have you, like, actually met me? That’s never going to happen.” He pouts. “So what I’m hearing right now is that you don’t love me anymore.”

She chuckles, pushing his pouting face away. “I

do

love you. That’s why I’m giving you an out.”

He frowns. “I don’t want an out. Actually, could you be the one to kidnap me? You could tie me up here, I’ll be good.”

She nearly pulls a lung. “

JJ!

Just – I’m telling you that you don’t have to wait for me to get back home every few months, and if at any moment you want to, I won’t be a bitch if you need a break.”

JJ wants to argue again, because frankly, this is preposterous, but instead he smirks. “Okay. Sure. Same for you.”

She opens and closes her mouth. “Fine.”

And then, as if that conversation never happened, they kiss, and she feels him smile against her lips. Worst part is, she knows

exactly

why that idiot is grinning. She’d just told him to wait, if he wanted to. Poor choice of word, really, but at least a bit funny.

Because JJ always knew how to play the waiting game.

🍓

December 25th, 2021

“Never have I ever…” John B starts, tapping on his chin, deep in thought. “Had a crush on Kat!”

Kat snorts. “Bee, I’m pretty sure that’s cheating. We both know you’re not going to drink.”

“No, but I’m curious.”

JJ nearly finishes his entire glass in one go. Pope takes a careful sip. Cleo tries to hide that she does, really. Sarah takes one. Kie chokes on hers.

John B and Billy look at each other from across the table. “This was a mistake,” she tells him, shivering in disgust.

“Well, now I just wish

I

was drunk.”

JJ points a furious finger at the other blonde. “Hold up, Sarah Cameron. When did

you

have a crush on KD?”

She laughs at his tone, frankly outraged, because if anyone was going to be Kat’s type, it was a blonde with big doe eyes. “Early last summer,” she says, and Kat stares at her, shocked. “What, you really didn’t notice?”

She snorts. “Well,

no

. You were actively with Frosted Tip?”

“Don’t think he compares.”

JJ has to agree with her there. But that’s not going to happen – she’d had a crush on his

girlfriend!

Instead, he turns to Cleo. “What about

you

, you traitor?”

Cleo stares at him. “Poguelandia. She picked up some nasty lookin’ bug. It was hot.”

Kat opens and closes her mouth. “I didn’t know me liking bugs could be hot?”

John B shivers. “Yeah, it can’t.”

“It so can,” JJ disagrees.

“I’m going to end it all,” Billy whines, hiding her face in a cushion.

Christmas evening is spent just drinking and laughing at one another. Kat has been back for a week by now, and it was all so surreal, how nothing had changed. It all just clicked back, normally, like she never left. Sure, it had only been three months, but she had missed the OBX so much, and she had been so scared that it would have just moved on without her.

But it didn’t. They’d missed her. And Kat realised that being missed didn’t have to be a death sentence.

Things were a little

weird

, with JJ. She didn’t know why, because they spoke everyday for the past months, so, really, it made no sense. Maybe she was thinking about this too much. She

definitely

was.

Early in the morning, when she can’t sleep, she’s alone in the living room of John B’s new house, cleaning everything, because someone has to.

“KD?”

She nearly jumps out of her own skin when she hears JJ’s voice, turning around quickly. He’s just there, leaning against the door, and grinning at her with a familiar spark in his eyes.

“What?”

“Just come over here for a sec.”

She arches a brow, but tentatively steps towards him until they’re standing face to face. He keeps staring at her, grinning, and it makes her uneasy. The words spill out of her mouth before she can help them.

“God, I hope it’s not weird between us.”

He didn’t expect that, that much is obvious from his face. “What?”

“I don’t know, we haven’t kissed, and I’ve missed you and I know we’ve talked everyday, but–”

“KD.”

“But I can’t help but feel like something’s changed, and I swear, that whole agreement thing was a stupid joke because if you don’t love me anymore, oh, I’m going to actually go insane and I don’t care how that sounds, I’ll be the hugest bitch ever–”

He laughs. Like, actually, laughs, before taking her face in his hands. “

Kat

.” He tilts her chin up. “C’mon, trust a guy.”

She looks up, and she thinks she might actually die of embarrassment.

Mistletoe is hanging above their heads. JJ has been waiting for a reason to kiss her all day. He just didn’t know how to tell her that.

“I got too much in my head, too,” he says. “Thought I needed a reason to kiss you.”

Every worry flies right out the window, and she can’t help but laugh, softly. The mistletoe is poorly taped to the doorframe, too, like it was done in a hurry. She wonders if he just did it when he saw her alone in the living room, in a hurry, because he couldn’t wait to kiss her again.

She shakes her head at him, leaning her forehead against his chest. “

Mistletoe?

” she asks. “You’re such a sap.”

“You love it.”

He kisses her, and Kat realises that no matter how long she’s gone, this would always feel right. His lips against her, his hands on her cheeks, the way he whispers that he loves her between each kiss, and each kiss is her way to tell him that she loves him, too.

Everything changes around them. But not them. JJ loved Kat, and Kat loved JJ. This would never go away.

🍓

March 9th, 2022

A ceremony is held in their honour. The eight teenagers who somehow found

El Dorado

. The whole island seems to have come – nobody claps half as hard as Henry and Max. Even Caroline is there, too, nodding solemnly at her daughter. Kat nods back.

Edward James Darcy is not mentioned

once

.

“I just think it’s insane how everyone expects actresses to fit their own idea of Helen,” Kat is rambling over her drink, JJ, Kie, Billy and Pope staring at her. “Like, beauty is subjective? It changes through time and depends on the person, and it’s impossible to find one universal Helen of Troy. She’s like, mythically beautiful. You can’t adapt that! Besides, the ugly Helen of one's going to be the goddess of another. It’s all so dumb.”

Cleo walks by, staring at the girl. “How long has she been going?”

“Like, ten minutes,” Pope says. “Apparently, once she finished her thesis

early

, she picked up some classes about women in Ancient Greece.”

Kie turns to JJ. “You’re never letting her smoke again.”

JJ blinks lazily. “I dunno, I like it. It’s like an audio book.”

“I’ve been bored!” Kat cries out. “Can’t blame me for that. Oh, don’t get me started on Cassandra’s curse–”

“No, we won’t,” Billy hums. “Love you, but you’ve been over it. Twice.”

“It’s just so insane how her curse is actually misogyny!

People

don’t believe her? Yeah, that’s ‘cause

men

discredit her–”

“Excuse me.” They stop, and turn to an old, distinguished man, walking to them with a suitcase in hand. “I… I don’t mean to interrupt.”

John B and Sarah arrive at the same time, the former frowning. “Uh, can we help you?”

None of them has any idea who that guy is, but he looks like he’s about to announce to them that an old aunt died and left them everything.

He stutters a little. “Yes. I wanted to tell you all, it’s remarkable what you all did.”

Kat snorts. “He says ‘all’ a lot.” JJ rolls his lips into his mouth to stifle a laugh.

“Royal Merchant,

El Dorado

, Denmark Tanny. Impressive résumé,

impressive

.” He turns to Kat, who’s looking blearily at him. Sarah winces. “I’ve read your thesis, miss Darcy.

Piracy, between myth and reality?

”

Her eyes light up. Her work. Her

own

work. Whoever that man is, he just scored an incredible amount of points to her. “Yeah! Yeah, that’s me. It was fun.”

He nods. “I was wondering if you and your friend would all be so kind as to look at an item of mine.”

Cleo narrows her eyes at him. “Oh yeah? What type of item is that?”

“It’s a manuscript. I would investigate it myself, but I’m too long in the tooth.”

Kat hums. “He’s old,” she mutters. Billy’s laugh is high-pitched.

“I need partners, and you all were first on my list.”

She holds out a hand. “Give me.”

The man laughs a little. “I was hoping you would.”

Kat takes the old book in her hands. “Shoot, I don’t have gloves. Ah well.” She flips through the yellowing pages. “1718? That’s old as shit.”

Pope reads above her shoulder. “Exhibition notes, dates.”

“This is a captain’s log,” John B says. “This shows the exact position of the ship.”

“The exact location where the ship sailed,” the man corrects. “And where it stopped.”

“Who is the captain?” JJ asks.

“Edward Teach.”

Kat sobers right up. She clings to the captain’s log for dear life, blinking past the haze. She knows that name – it’d be weird if she didn’t, considering he occupied more than a half of her thesis.

“Blackbeard,” she says. “This is

Blackbeard’s logbook?

”

There's silence amidst the group, because could it really be that journal? The dates match, as far as she can tell. She’s seen some of his handwriting during her research – it matches too.

When they realise that this might very well be true, Billy grins.

“This is the part where we woogity, right?”

Maybe Kat had been wrong this whole time. Sure, the gold hunt ended, but wasn’t it life’s whole thing? These past 18 months had proven that to her. It goes on. Nothing is ever truly over, is it?

Everything was meant to start again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Spoilers for OBX4

hi everyone. it sounds like i'm very serious when this is literally about fictional character but i am nothing if unable to discern reality from fiction when im sad so . im going to be a CRYBABYYYY yes. mock me <3so i know i said that Back to the Ocean would be a spin-off directly following this that would come out right when OBX4 does but, um... well there was always this kind of unspoken rule about Back to the Ocean, at least for me, and my friends, i think. if jj dies, i'm not writing anything. i'm just not. so i'm sorry.i won't be writing Back to the Ocean.
here's the main reason; if jj dies, kat kills herself. that's it. plain and simple.i don't think it's me exaggerating because oh, but she has john b and henry and the pogues;;; but that is literally it. where you go i go type of thing. if he dies, she dies too. realistically, she'd get her revenge, make sure the pogues are settled, and then kill herself.jj has always, ALWAYS been kat's entire life. her only thought when she was suicidal was that if jj answered, she
wouldn't go through with it. her entire life revolves around him, and i know that's not healthy to say, but kat is
complicated. with everything that's happened, everything jj has done for her and everything she has done for him, she cannot picture her life without him. if jj dies, she goes with him. that's what would happen, if i wrote Back to the Ocean.and i think no one, including myself, wants that.i'm not here to judge the writing on season 4 (it's shit), i was ONBOARD, fav season since season 1 type of onboard, everyone back together as a family. but i am SO BEYOND TIRED of killing off the character that went through the most for shock value, just as he was beginning to be happy. im literally two for two with dean winchester my eye is TWITCHING. and i've said it before, i won't ever,
ever
do that to kat. i'd rather i stick to her ending as it is, which can feel incomplete, and i'd rather not write Back to the Ocean than put her through that, i'm SO serious.bit more technical and not just me whining — now why don't i rewrite it? first of all, BttO was supposed to be split in two parts with season 4 and 5. obviously we can tell which direction they're going with for season 5, and rewriting jjs death would end up halving BttO and make it look ... half baked. i don't want that. i won't be on the long list of works putting out queer representation with 0 depth to it, and especially in the case of lesbians.i cannot have kies individual plot (that I have to give her btw cause the show forgot again) and billys AND their shared plot, AND the jjkat plot (because there was one) all shoved in season 4. ive been talking with my gf trying to find ways genuinely because she is pushing me but there is none, not because of length, but because of timing and believability on top of just. respecting the characters' personality (for example, kat cannot forgive everyone for leaving her out in a single week,, HAVE YOU MET HER....). so either i write nothing, or something i do not like. i don't want either, but honestly — i do not want to touch the series, at least not right now.maybe that's my own fault for feeling stuck and being a big crybaby over a fictional character but well, if you've read about kat, you know how i get when it comes to her. so believe me when i say im quite literally so sad about her and billy and the pogues, but i don't think the other option is a good idea for anyone involved.i might post snippets of what i had planned, if you want to? like my notes, and stuff. it's not much, but if it helps with closure, or idk.i think though, that for kat's birthday (december 17th) i'll do another, maybe bigger, epilogue. or maybe later depending on my finals. something with kie and billy getting together, and a fast forward to the future where johnjohn doesn't die and idk, rafe instead (BECAUSE ONG I THOUGHT THEY WERE SETTING THAT UP IM SO MAD). where kat has a phd, sarah and john b have a babygirl they nickname kitkat because she brings them shiny bugs, kie and billy have travelled around the world twice and pope and cleo moved to the mainland for his studies. where jj comes home everynight and kat's painting the beach by the window.im so sorry. i know this is SO disappointing and it's the last thing i wanted. i was supposed to end Back to the Ocean with all of them at the beach. i'm so sorry.