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'But you will be there, won't you?' asks the other Dean, for the fifth time this week - or maybe that day. Sam purses his lips and suppresses the irritation he feels. You love this guy, you love this guy, you love this guy. The hunter doesn't understand the sudden insecurity the other man is exuding; after all, Sam has been at all his concerts, always, since they've been living together. Why would it be any different now? Dean will be in New York for a concert at the Beacon Theatre, and Sam will be sitting in the front row, as always.Sam turns around, despite the morning rush (Johnny has to get to the kindergarten, and I can't be late, I can't leave everything to Hannah,) and his irritation evaporates as he sees Dean's tense, pale face.He sets Johnny's bag on the kitchen table and steps in front of the Other Dean, clasping his face with both hands.'I'll be there, De' he murmurs gently and guiltily.'I'll always be there.'Sam knows its been difficult with him recently. But this month is hard for him; the month of his birthday, and the month of Mum's original death. He feels guilty that he's treating this month just like Dad, becoming withdrawn and irritated, and that's not fair. This Dean lost his mom just the same, and one of the differences is, that he never got her back, and thats also unfair.Like yes, it was difficult when Mom was back, and often painful, but there were good days, good moments, good conversations, and this Dean never got that. And yet its Sam with the shit mood?The other Dean's face relaxes under his touch, and he leans his forehead against the other's shoulder.’Sorry’ he mutters, and Sam almost smiles.’For what, wanting me around?’ he asks softly.’For wanting you always, everywhere’ he ground, but Sam just shook his head.’That’s kinda nice, actually’ smiles the younger man, and then, moves away without any enthusiasm, as if he would have preferred to stay close to the other. ’Come on, we can’t be late; I will take you.’Seeing Dean Winchester (any Dean Winchester) in the passenger seat of the Impala feel strange still, but Sam thoughs about his brother having sat there as a teenager, and at least De is here.'What are you planning to wear to the concert?' asks Other Dean, looking a bit like a worried peacock.'White shirt and black suit trousers' Sam says, thinking of his own brother. You are laughing you ass off, up there, aren’t you? Other Dean wrinkles his nose, but he is too politely brought up to say anything.’What is it, De?’ Sam asks, a bit tiredly.’Ah, nothing whatsoever. What would you like to eat for dinner?’Sam smiles faintly.’What is it, Dean?’ 'Well, if you would allow me… he says cautiously. 'The concert is on your birthday. You should be elegant, Sam, really.’
Really, Sammy, you should.
He can almost hear his brother's cheerful laughter in his thoughts. Its a tinest bit mooking as well, and Sam grinns.’Tell you what’ he shigs. 'You can dress me in anything as long as I don't have to sit in a pair of underwear, okay?'Other Dean laughs, and the voice is free and happy, and Sam thinks he might as well make a fool of himself for it.His brother, who is not his brother, kisses him on the forehead as they pull up in front of the school, and in one movement he is out of the car.*This is how Sam ends up wearing a deep green, three-row suit for the concert, but in retrospect, he wouldn't be able to recall that.All he remembers is that at one point Dean walks out from behind the snow-white piano on the stage and announces that he's written the next piece for his brother, and the composition is called 'Dean's theme.'Critics later tease Other Dean about how arrogant it is to name something after himself, but - Sam doesn't care. The score is deep, sad, and somehow ineffably loving and bitterly hopeful. It’s fucking perfect.And its for Dean. Its for a self he never known, but he knows that he was important to Sam, and so, he writes something for him. Him, and Sam. When the tunes are over, Sam smiles up at the pianist, who blinks at his raw gratitude. But Sam doesn't mind: he wants to somehow express that this is the best gift he's ever received. And so, they live.