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I awake, scared for everything. Dripping in tears and sweat, my partner enters my room to comfort my horrors. The light from the hallway floods into my room and I sit there, sobbing into my palms, as the beautiful woman before me wraps her arms around my shoulders to soothe my shaking form. I feel awful, terrible, I feel like death itself. I feel everything. She coo's sweet whisps of easement into my ears as her soft hands card through my hair. Her voice is sweet like bells and angels and choirs. I want to tell her to be quiet, to never let anyone hear that voice. I want to tell her that it will be the cause of everything bad that will ever happen to her. I wouldn't do that to her. She's already been through enough, and none of it is any bit apart of her fault. She's so perfect I hate doing this to her. In the morning, she will look tired and I will be guilty. Even more guilty than I already am everyday. She pushes her hands through my hair and I lean into it as if it's my god given right. God has given me jack shit. But god has given me her. There's differences to this, but there's also sameness. I hate the man who breaks her heart, but we will eternally share a want to see her happier. Though, she is happy. She can be happy. She will be happy. I will make sure of that. Because he never loved her, not the way she wants him to. But I can. Or, I can give her the illusion that I do. Because somewhere very deep down, I do. In some other universe I've fallen in love with Roxy Lalonde a million times over and over. In some other universe, I've held her perfectness for myself, and kept her safe from all of this. In some universe I've taken his life and I've relieved her of all of this. I've saved her of everything bad that has happened, will happen, or is happening. I kiss back when her lips meet mine. Its gentle and loving and she deserves every part of it that she brings for herself. It's muscle memory, it's clear what she wants and I'm giving it to her. It doesn't feel as weird as it should. It feels like peace. It feels of warmth. I'm selfish, I steal moments like these, keep them all to myself as if I deserve any part of it. I know I don't. But still I'll take it. She keeps herself so close to me. And I hope she thinks she's saving me from this. She is. Truly. She helps more than anyone and I will eternally hate myself for letting her do so. I'll hate myself for a lot of things. And I'll wish I didn't, because it just causes her more pain.I simply want her to be happy.