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It all started with a bet. A bet that Tony had been sure he was going to win. Unfortunately, he had been wrong and now he was paying the consequences. The family was loaded onto the jet and headed to the Barton family farm. The kids seemed fine with the whole thing, but his husband very much did not if the glares he was receiving were anything to go off of."You know, Lo, it's basically just going to be like you're back in Asgard. There's no technology there either""It is your own fault that I have grown accustomed to using said technology""Alright, that's fair-""Furthermore!"Tony rolled his eyes "Here we go""I do not understand why I am required to be on this ridiculous trip with you. I did not make a bet and lose"Sighing, Tony explained the reasoning for the hundredth time "The bet was that the whole family stays the week and that we're not allowed to use any form of technology"Loki stared at him for a moment before huffing and crossing his arms "You will make this up to me""Yes, dear"Loki looked like he was going to continue with his complaints but the jet started its descent. Tony stepped out first and helped the kids down the stairs. Clint was standing off in the distance and even from that far away, Tony could see the smug smile on his face."So kind of you to be here to greet us, Legolas""I needed to make sure that you showed up" Clint looked over to Loki's scowl and back to Tony "trouble in paradise?""Lokes isn't exactly thrilled about our vacay"Loki scoffed "This is no 'vacay', Stark""Oooohhh, he called you Stark. I know that's bad""Silence, Minion"Clint laughed before waving them to follow him inside. It was a modest farm house but a bit outdated. The house was nice; it just wasn't up to the standards that a prince and a billionaire were used to. The kids ran off to claim their rooms while Clint continued the tour. Tony had zoned out, trying to figure out how to keep the God occupied all week when he heard Clint talking."There's already some down trees in the yard that can be used to chop up some fire wood""Chop? You don't have a machine for that?""Nope. There's an ax out there, don't worry""Right. Right""I left a list of things that need to get done. The cows are easy, they mind their own business, but they'll need milking throughout the week"Loki looked absolutely appalled while Tony shook his head "You better not be expecting me to slaughter it for beef too"Clint had a very serious look on his face "Do not kill my cows, Tony""Alright, don't get your panties in a twist, I was just making sure things weren't more depraved here than I thought"Clint sighed "You're on your own for the rest of the week, but Laura made a lasagna for you all to have for dinner tonight. I'll bring the jet back in exactly a week. Enjoy yourselves and" he looked to Loki "try not to kill your husband""I make no promises"They said their goodbyes to Clint and Tony let Loki go brood in silence while he got started on dinner. Laura was kind enough to leave instructions on how to use the ancient oven and how long to cook the lasagna so it was off to a good start. He rounded up the kids and enjoyed a family meal at the big dining room table. Tony was starting to think that this was going to be way easier than he originally thought. That was until they ran out of firewood in the middle of the night.He woke up from shivering and looked over to see Loki sound asleep. Tip-toeing out of the room, he made his way downstairs to the wood stove. The fire that had been raging inside earlier was now completely extinguished. He went to grab more logs but the wood bin was empty. Groaning, he went back upstairs to check on the kids. He found Narfi, Vali and Cassie all still sound asleep. Morgan and Peter however were wrapped in blankets, walking towards Tony."Hey kiddos, feeling a little chilly?""Why is it s-so c-cold?" Peter asked while his teeth chattered"No more fire wood. Come on, let's all bundle together. There's no way I'm chopping down trees in the middle of the night"The three of them climbed into bed with Loki and wrapped themselves in as many blankets as possible. With them all huddled together, they quickly got warm and fell asleep. Tony was having a lovely dream of being on an island when he woke with a start, not being able to breathe. His eyes were wide as he saw Loki holding his nose closed with his other hand over his mouth.Loki took his hands away "Oh good, you are awake""What the fuck, Lo, are you trying to smother me in my sleep?"The God scoffed "Of course not, do not be ridiculous. We are ready for breakfast"Tony thought he could not have heard him right "I'm sorry, what?""Breakfast. Your children require it""Ok, so make them breakfast. What's the issue?""The issue, Stark, is that the eggs need to be gathered and the cows need to be milked. They're being quite loud this morning, they must be uncomfortable""So glad you're worried about the cows comfortability. You're not going to be helping me, are you?""I believe the Midgardian phrase is 'you made your bed, now lie in it'"Loki left before Tony could make a comeback so he slowly got out of bed and dressed for his chores. He tried to convince the kids to help him but it seemed that Loki had gotten to them first and told them not to help. Walking into the chicken coop, he was thinking how he was never going to make any bets ever again when his thoughts were interrupted."Dad?" Tony turned to see Narfi and Vali standing behind him, looking unsure"What's up, little tricksters?""Well, we wondering if we could help""Really?"They nodded enthusiastically so he handed them a basket and together, they collected the eggs before moving on to milk the cows. It took a lot of trial and error, but they eventually got the hang of it and had a couple of happy cows by the end of it. Once he got everyone fed, he knew he had to chop some more firewood to not have a repeat of the night. Luckily it wasn't the dead of winter, but the early spring air was still very biting.The monotonous chopping of the wood was surprisingly relaxing and the day was flying by. He looked up at one point to see Loki lounging in a lawn chair while sipping on a cocktail with a little umbrella in it."Hey Lo, did you come out here to help with your godly endurance or are you just here to be my eye candy?"Loki looked up, tipped down his sunglasses so that Tony could see his eyes roll before conjuring a book to dramatically flip the page. Tony sighed and continued until he was certain they would not be cold for the night.As the week went by, Tony was becoming more comfortable with the farm life. The chores became easier and he was getting into a grove. Though he would never admit it, Loki appeared to be enjoying himself as well. They had never had so much uninterrupted time with the kids before now and he could definitely get used to it. Soon enough, the week came to an end and the jet was landing down on the lawn. Clint strolled out, surveying the land while everyone came out to greet him."Looks like you didn't burn the place down. I have to say, I'm surprised that you didn't call me to come get you after day one""Nah. A bet's a bet, Barton. I'm a man of my word. Now get out of my way, civilization awaits" Running onto the jet, Tony grabbed his Starkpad and kissed it "Beautiful technology, how I've missed you!"The flight back was extremely quiet as everyone was on their own devices. Tony was starting to miss the busy, technology-less farm house."Hey, Lokes, what do you think of making the farm trip a yearly thing?" Loki leaned over, kissing him sweetly before whispering "I would rather spend a week on a deserted island with Thor than live without our luxuries again"Tony deflated but accepted that it was a pipe dream before Loki sighed and pulled him into his side "Fine. Once a year""Really?""Yes, Darling, I must admit that is was nice being all together like that""Exactly-""However, I require access to a TV""You really missed your soaps didn't you?""I am a week behind all of my shows and now I have to avoid spoilers"Tony laughed and kissed Loki's cheek "Whatever you want, Sweetheart. Whatever you want"