Archive of Our Own

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Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Prologue/Chapter 1: Early Labor of LoveMaki looked at the graph on her phone again, her brow furrowed with concern as she tried to stay calm. Not that she had to keep track on an app to know by now, but her studious nature made her review the facts.To think, today had started off so nice, so relaxing.She finished the school year yesterday, a mark of pride for her that she’d put in the work despite how demanding pregnancy and baby prep could be, and finally clocked out to start maternity leave. After so much pestering from family, friends, and coworkers to take it easy while she still had the chance, she promised that starting at 5 PM yesterday, she would do just that until she went into labor. As much as she liked to have something to do, she still remembered how good it felt when she got home and knew there was nothing she had to do for now but be good to herself and stay ready for when Hana came. What followed was a long soak in the tub (with her favorite lavender oil), an evening of chatting and watching videos online with her friends (while wearing nothing but a bathrobe and underwear, the very idea of her being so lazy!) and tinkering with her latest video project (a compilation of her pregnancy highlights) before going to bed. Hana even let her sleep better than usual, even though an unbroken night’s sleep was something she hadn’t had in a long time and didn’t expect to have again for quite a while yet.The morning had started similarly calmly. Muttering a “good morning” to her child before making her latest trip to the bathroom, she returned to bed and just lay there for a long while, stroking her belly while listening to the music on the radio and the bits of song sung by the birds coming and going. For the moment, she was at peace.Of course, as is always the case when babies are involved, the peace didn’t last forever as a cramp in her belly rippled through the tranquil pond that was her state of being. It figured there’d be more Braxton Hicks contractions to keep her from feeling too comfortable. Such as “comfortable” was at 39 weeks pregnant, anyway.Oh well. She got up and shuffled off to make breakfast. Morning stretches could wait, she was starving. She wasn’t much of an oatmeal fan, but over the last week, she’d gotten into the habit of eating it for breakfast with some chopped-up bits of apple mixed in for flavor and more nutrition and energy. Just in case it ended up being the day she needed that extra energy.With no commitments to keep, Maki wasn’t sure what to do after that. After keeping things simple by throwing on a comfy pink and white sundress, she settled on some light cleaning, starting with dusting. Her apartment may not have been big, but that made it all the easier to keep tidy, even though she certainly fit the definition of “big” now, and the little extra challenge of cleaning with a full-term baby bump suited her fine. As she putzed around her apartment, she kept checking and re-checking her work, making sure she’d dusted every spot. When her thoughts turned to her clothes and how she could busy herself further by unfolding and refolding them, she realized she could easily get her laundry done. Sure, why not? It was a bit of an extra chore to get her basket of dirty clothes to the laundry room, but it felt like the right thing to do, and she could dust some more while waiting for the washer and dryer.That was when she broke out of her restless drive to clean and laughed at herself. The nesting instinct, that’s what this was. She’d always thought it was exaggerated in the stories she’d heard, but here she was in the swing of it and enjoying it. This wasn’t even the first time she’d been struck by the urge to tidy up, get everything at her home arranged, and be super critical about her work. Well, better to do something than do nothing, right? Especially when doing something useful.At least, that’s what she thought until she finished loading her clothes in the washer and she felt another brief but noticeable belly cramp. She hadn’t really noticed it when she was in bed, but while it didn’t hurt, she could feel it spread through more of her belly than usual, plus a bit of her lower back. That gave her a moment of worry before she shook it off. She’d just been a little too active, especially from bringing a basket full of dirty clothes to the laundry room. If she eased up on her cleaning but kept it up, they’d go away, just like all those other Braxton Hicks. Moving around without overdoing it always got rid of them before.The next couple hours passed in a similar fashion. Dusting, scrubbing the stovetop and microwave and sinks, finishing her laundry, taking out the trash, vacuuming, even checking all her food’s freshness with both a sight and sniff test (which led to her taking a break to scarf down the rest of the takeout she bought on a craving-induced whim). She tried to keep her pace slow but steady, telling herself she had all day to get this done even though she had a nagging feeling it needed to get done now.During those hours, the cramps hadn’t gone away. They still didn’t hurt very much, and they were still a long time apart, but she had been very mindful of the fact they hadn’t stopped. She kept a mental tally of the times they happened, and by the time she ran out of things to clean, the time between “a long time apart” had gotten a little narrower.But...that was just silly, right? Hana wasn’t due until a week from today, and given her conception could have only possibly happened on one specific day, she knew exactly when her due date was. Still...everyone had told her to be ready for labor at any moment after she hit 38 weeks, and the closer her due date got, the more likely it was that moment could happen.Maybe things would fizzle out...but maybe it was also time to save her strength. Either way, Maki felt how tense she was getting, and she could use some calm. Focusing on something else for now would help with that while she let her body do whatever it was doing.She spent about another hour and a half watching episodes of the latest shows she’d adopted as her current Saturday morning cartoons. She had many fond memories of the tradition of spending her Saturday mornings glued to the TV and spending the days in between letting the tension build for the next episodes, and that was many years before people could go online to binge watch whatever they wanted whenever they wanted. Even as an adult, she kept that tradition alive and liked to savor things like this over time and make them last. She hoped she could pass some of that patience to Hana and teach her that instant gratification was often overrated. It was a happy thought, the idea that the two of them could find shows they would like and watch together.Of course, she had enough experience dealing with kids and remembering her own childhood to know that teaching kids to be patient, especially over something like cartoons and TV shows, was pretty wishful thinking, let alone in the days when she could watch them on a phone. But she was a vice principal, and when it came to teaching, she couldn’t wait to be Hana’s mentor; this was just one thing on the agenda.For now, the distraction worked...mostly. When she wasn’t adjusting how she was sitting in a chair or lying on the couch from how uncomfortable she was (it was just like Mom warned her: When Hana dropped into her pelvis last week, Maki didn’t just sit down anymore, Hana sat with her and boy could she feel it), she was focusing on the shows instead of the ache in her belly and back when it returned. She still felt that nagging anxiety that got stronger every time the pain came back, but in between those times, she could enjoy her shows...mostly.They stopped relaxing her when she was getting to the credits of an episode and the latest cramp hit her. This time it hurt enough that, while it wasn’t enough to catch her off guard, when she compared this one to the ones she’d felt a few hours ago, they weren’t just inching closer together, they were getting more painful.Still mentally pleading for them to stop, she was realistic enough to get her phone and open the contraction timer app she’d downloaded. She put in her best guesses of the times and lengths of the cramps she’d felt so far into the manual entry fields, then plotted them out on the graph function.That brought Maki to the present, where she was looking at the data.The graph had a few options for what to highlight, such as average times between (what she really hoped weren’t) contractions, how long they lasted, and how much those numbers changed over time. However they felt when she woke up, they didn’t feel like Braxton Hicks anymore.She looked down at her belly and ran her palm over it. “Okay, Hana, this isn’t funny anymore,” she said calmly but firmly. “You’re not ready to be born yet. You still have another week to go. I can’t wait to meet you either, but you need to stay in Mommy for now.” When Hana kicked her hand, she added, “I need you to be ready to be born, too.”Forget what everyone said about how she’d been in “any day now” territory for the last week, Hana was not coming before she was ready. Not after the scare she had in her 35th week. Yeah, that turned out to be a completely false alarm and rarely in her life had she been so relieved to be wrong, but she wasn’t taking any chances with her kit’s health.But what if Hana was going to be early? Maki wouldn’t be helping her by being careless until it was too late, and as she promised herself, she was never failing her child by being in denial again.After a few hasty online searches for “difference between braxton hicks and real contractions” and skimming some similarly tagged parts of the notes she’d taken from her classes, she felt worry bubbling up when everything suggested Hana’s birthday was going to be today.She knew there was just one last thing to try before she was sure of it.Taking off the sundress for the moment and changing into a sports bra and yoga pants, a rare time she left her belly completely bare even at home, she waited until the next pain came and went before she spread her yoga mat across the floor, set her glasses aside, and pulled up her yoga playlist on her phone to do her morning stretches. Every time she’d had Braxton Hicks contractions before, a little yoga made them go away for a while. Besides, whether she was in labor or not, being physically and mentally ready for the day was never a bad idea.As she moved from pose to pose in time with the instructions playing on her phone, she consciously focused on her breathing, on her muscles, on her center of gravity, on how she felt. As she did, she affirmed herself out loud, “I am connected to my body, to my emotions, to my child. I am calm. I am ready. I am taking care of myself, and in doing so, taking care of my child.” It wasn’t a full-on class, just a session meant to be done before work to limber up the body and mind for the day ahead, and that was all she needed...besides a final test of how real these contractions were.She continued her stretches until the session ended, closing it with a few deep, controlled breaths while she sat on the mat with her hands affectionately cupped the underside of her belly. Yoga sure hadn’t gotten any easier to do as her pregnancy progressed, but it was still worth the effort. She resisted looking down at her belly in anticipation. If anything was coming, it would come on its own, and if it didn’t, there was no sense in wasting time wondering if-“Mm,” she hummed as the pain came back. “Pleasegoaway, pleasegoaway,” she hurriedly whispered. Nothing doing: It stayed, and as it built, it hit a small but well-defined peak that marked the first time it got a hiss of “ow!” from her. Now they were strong and rhythmic enough that she could tell the difference between their highs and lows.She stayed still until it was gone, then took another deep breath and nodded as she accepted the truth.“You’re really ready today.”She felt Hana squirm a bit, as if agreeing with her. Or protesting how her home just got a bit smaller for a little while. Or both.Maki needed a minute to handle it, glad she had the benefit of just finishing a yoga session. After waiting for so long, she’d carried her kit for nine months, and now it was time to close that chapter and begin the next. Those memories rushed through her head...it was like everything she’d been feeling through her pregnancy was coming back at her at once now that it was coming to an end, and she had to shut her eyes and focus on her breathing again. After a few deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth, she stroked her hands over the swell of her midsection and opened her eyes to smile warmly at it.“Okay, Hana. If you’re ready, you do whatever you need to do. You know the way out. Mommy’s right here for you and I’m going to do whatever it takes to help you get here.” Hana kicked her again, making her smile widen. “Just like I always have.”Giving her kit a few pats, she put her glasses back on as she got to her feet with a huff, then headed to the kitchen with her phone in hand to grab a water bottle and open that box of granola bars she got last week for just this moment, which was a replacement for the box she’d gotten the week before that she couldn’t stop munching on. With a handful of bars in one hand, her phone in the other, and the top of a bottle of water held between her teeth, she returned to the bedroom. After setting her stuff on the bed, putting in the latest contraction data, and changing back into her softer underwear and sundress, she sat on the bed, went to her contacts, and tapped one of the speed dials.“Hey, Maki,” came a woman’s voice at the other end.“Hi, Laura. You busy?” Maki asked as she sat down on the bed.“Not really, I’m just doing a couple errands. Why?”“I need you on standby.”A pause, and then, “It’s today? Already?”“I’ve been having pains for,” she looked at the clock, “some three and a half hours now. Not bad, but compared to when I woke up, they’re getting closer together, getting more painful, and...the short of it is all signs point to yes.”“Oh my god! Do you need me, like, right now?”“No no no, I think I got a while before it’s hospital time. I just need to know if you’ll be ready if I need you.”“Yeahyeah, no problem, I can finish and get home quick. You just call me the minute you’re ready and I’m there.”“Thanks. Just don’t go so fast that you get in an accident or get a ticket, okay? I’d rather give birth in a hospital than have to do it at home because my ride didn’t show up from being more panicky than the woman in labor she’s supposed to be picking up,” she said, getting a laugh out of both of them.“Okay. I’ll get there in a flash...with all due caution,” her friend agreed.“Oh, and one other thing? I’d appreciate it if you kept this to yourself for now. I promise I’ll tell everyone everything when it’s all done, but...I really don’t like thinking everyone’s wondering about me, and I don’t want them calling or texting me to get updates or anything. I just want to be...focused on me and Hana, nobody else, please,” she said.“All right. I’m here when you need me.”“I know you are. Thanks.”After hanging up, there was another important person to talk to. Despite the mixed anticipation and anxiety she had about labor, she’d been looking forward to making this call for a while. One ring later...“Good morning, Maki!” the old bear at the other end greeted her.“Good morning, Greta,” the rabbit greeted her back. “Is-”“And how are you on this beautiful first day of summer break?” she asked.“I’m fine, thank you. But-”“How’s Hana-”“We’re fine, thank you,“ Maki had to cut in, “but may I please talk to Sara?”“Oh, sorry, Sara’s with another patient at the moment,” she felt a moment of panic that someone else’s baby had beaten her to the punch, “but it’s for an exam.” Whew. “If it’s an emergency, I can get her right now.”“...How long will she be?”“From when they went in, and from what I know of her? Five minutes, ten at most.”That wasn’t so bad. She could wait. “Okay. Please have her call me when she’s done.”“Sure. You’ve still got her number too, right?”“Yes, thank you. Now, I don’t mean to cut the call short,” even though she did, “but I have another call I need to make while I’m waiting.”“Okay. Talk to you later.”Maki hung up, shaking her head with a smile. Greta’s chipper friendliness could get annoying at times, but she’d gotten used to it. At least she felt like the bear was honestly friendly, never faking it just to be polite. But she’d learned that if she gave Greta any conversation material, she’d be happy to try bending Maki’s ear, and while her reserves of patience were deep, she had to budget her patience enough as it was.She could still get things done in the meantime.Another call later...“Hello, this is Edwards-Rose OB/GYN, how may I help you?” the receptionist asked.“Hi, this is Miyako Morita. I’m one of Dr. Brown’s patients, and I’m pretty sure I’m in early labor. I’m not going to the hospital yet but want to make sure he knows I’m probably going in today. If he’s available, can I talk to him or leave a message?”“Ah, okay, just a moment.” A bit of quiet typing, and then, “Well, I’m very sorry, but Dr. Brown isn’t in today.”Her nerves tensed again. “What?”“There was a family emergency and he had to be out to handle it. But I can still let his backup Dr. Jennings know and return your call.”Darn it. That was already the second thing that wasn’t a disaster but was still throwing off her plans. She knew labor could be chaotic, but this was the last time she needed things going off the rails. “Yes, please. I’m still registered at Riverwatch General, right?”“Yes, I’m showing you are.”“Good, and my doula?”“I’m sorry?”“My doula. My support person who’s going to be there with me at the hospital.”“Let me see...” Another pause, making Maki worry that something else had gone wrong, before, “I show we have a Sara registered with you.”Whew, again. “Yes, that’s her. Okay...I guess I’ll...talk to Dr. Jennings later, thank you.”After hanging up, she sighed and took stock of her situation. Fine, so things weren’t going as they were supposed to. She had a lot of experience not just in maintaining order but also establishing it.Hana was coming a week early? Okay, she was ahead of schedule but not so much that she was in danger. Besides, while Maki hoped she’d get some downtime before Hana was born, if she was going to come early, way better for her to do it the first day of maternity leave than when she was still working. At least she could rest and be at home for a while first: That was still going as planned.Her OB wasn’t going to be there to deliver her kit? Again, not ideal but she could work with it. She mainly wanted her OB there so that if someone was going to be seeing her in a pained, raw, maybe nasty state, or have their hands on her body, especially between her legs, at least it was someone she knew and who knew her, not a stranger she’d never even met. Sure, there’d be hospital staff there, but they’d be coming and going, and she didn’t expect to connect with them very much. She’d just have to work with this Dr. Jennings as best she could, and that’s part of why she had a birth plan: So the hospital knew what she wanted. Now she could give it to this new doctor, too.She couldn’t control those things, but she could still control herself, even if the best she could do was stay calm and wait until labor got in gear. She would handle the rest as it came, and by then, she would have Sara there with her.Speaking of whom, her phone rang, and she felt some welcome relief when she saw Sara on the ID.“Good morning, Sara,” she greeted her newest friend.“Good morning, Maki,” Sara’s kind voice greeted her back. “Greta says you gave me a ring. How’s it going?”“I’m glad you asked. I know from going through school in more than one way that the last day of school is usually full of pranks, jokes, and other rabble-rousing.” She patted her belly as she explained, “But Hana saved that trickster energy for the day after to throw off my plans.”“Ahhh, has she decided she can’t wait to start her summer vacation?” she asked. Maki could practically hear her smile, knowing Sara was truly happy at the thought of being there to welcome Hana into the world.“That’s how it looks. I’ve been having pains for some three and a half hours, and they’re not so close or bad yet that I need labor breathing to get through them, but they’re getting closer and hurting more. I just tried yoga as a last resort to see if they’d stop and when even that didn’t work,” she pat-patted her bump, “she’s not even letting me get one full day of maternity leave.”“And this is certainly going to be an eventful day in some years to come, her birthday being right around, or right on, the last day of school!” Sara remarked, lifting Maki’s spirit more to feel her positive attitude even over the phone.“Oh, yeah...hadn’t thought about that yet...ohhh my god, school gets out different days in different schools, but her birthdays are going to be crazy,” she groaned, rubbing her eyes. “This must be karma: I was a week overdue, and Mom had to deal with my birthdays being a big end-of-summer party. I was a week late just before the start of the school year, Hana’s born a week early just after the end...we’re the same coin, if not always the same side.”After they both laughed at each other’s jokes, Sara asked directly but calmly, “Okay, Maki, I’m ready when you two are, but how are you doing? I know you wanted to labor at home at first. Are you still gonna be okay with that?”Glad the midwife still knew her wishes so well, Maki answered, “Yeah. I have Laura on standby to come pick me up. I’m just going to relax and...come to terms with everything. You know, think, reflect, take in these last hours before Hana’s finally here.”“You got it. You want your space; I’ll wait for you to let me know when it’s hospital o’clock. Would you rather I leave you be for now?”“Mm hm. I’m going to see if I can take a nap while I can still try to get some sleep. I’ve still got you on speed dial. I’ll be okay for now.”“Gotcha. You’re the star of this show, I’m here to follow your lead.”She almost blushed at that compliment. “C’mon, Sara, give yourself more credit. I’ve been looking to you for guidance, and I’m going to trust you to help me have my baby. If I weren’t so ‘go to the hospital,’ I’d want you to deliver Hana. I still would, if it comes to it.”“Thank you, Maki,” was her warm answer. “Then rest well, and I’ll see you soon.”“I’ve been looking forward to it. Good- mmf!” she grunted as Hana kicked her hard.“Hm? Are you all right?”“Hah, yeah, it’s just, Hana says goodbye,” Maki said, chuckling.“Haha, tell the little bean I’ll see her soon, too, for me.”“Gladly.”Ending the call, Maki nodded, still smiling as she rubbed her tummy. This was going to be fine. It was going to be great, even, with Sara there to help her.That fresh dose of good feelings coincided nicely with the next contraction. As she started the contraction timer, now that she’d accepted this was labor, she figured that even though it didn’t hurt so bad that she needed labor breathing, maybe it was time to give it a field test.She took slow, steady, deep breaths in and out. She let the air fill her lungs, imagining them expanding further to get her body and her kit the energy they needed. Everything was okay: Her body was doing what it needed to do, she just had to stay calm. It was pretty similar to yoga breathing, really, something she had years of experience practicing. As the pain peaked, she kept herself relaxed and, instead of resisting it with a grunt like “mmm,” she let her jaw stay open and just exhaled a gentle, tension-free “ahhh.”Yeah...she could handle this. She was ready for when this turned into real labor.Once it was gone, she stopped the timer and glanced at the data. Contractions were between 10 and 12 minutes apart. At this rate, she had hours to go before she hit the magic number of 5 minutes apart. Then it was hospital time.Maybe a true nap wasn’t going to happen, but she’d settle for drifting in and out of sleep. After a bathroom break, she lay back down, steadied her breathing, pushed all her worry about what was waiting in the coming hours out of her head, and closed her eyes.As Maki expected, she didn’t really nap per se, but there were a few times she tiptoed over the edge of sleep and was woken by a contraction or by Hana showing her displeasure at being scrunched up even more than she already was. She occasionally glanced at the time on her phone and was surprised at it being later than she expected. Her sense of time stayed fuzzy as her thoughts were mostly cleared, only having enough presence of mind to clock the start and stop of contractions on her phone, practice her labor breathing, and readjust how she was lying. She mixed in nibbles on the granola bars and swallows of water, reminding herself that she was going to need all that good energy.For now, the only thing she allowed herself to focus on was how this would end, when Hana was in her arms at last. She’d imagined that perfect moment so often. After many years of wondering when she’d have a baby before having to accept she’d missed her chance, then nine months of a very unexpected, and certainly not always easy, pregnancy, then finally the ordeal of childbirth...and then her baby wouldn’t just be a wish or a kicky, squirmy baby in progress, she’d really be here. What would she look like? What would her voice sound like? What kind of personality would she have? What would she get from Mommy, and what little quirks would make her unique?Would she break the four-generation firstborn girl streak?Those daydreams always warmed her heart, and now was no exception. It wasn’t for nothing she listed, “Wants baby placed on chest immediately after birth,” on her birth plan. She’d have to thank Sara for suggesting that while she was drafting her plan.While her mind was calm, her body kept up its slow but steady work. Contractions came and went, falling into a relatively predictable rhythm. She did her best to keep her body as relaxed as her mind...belly tension, backache and/or kicking baby notwithstanding. Each one brought Hana just a little bit closer, she reminded herself.She found herself trying to find a comfortable position more often as time passed. “Comfortable” was naturally elusive in full-term pregnancy, but labor (even early labor) didn’t make it any easier. But after she’d been resting for a good hour and a half, she couldn’t deny that this was hurting more compared to when she’d first lain down, especially now that her hips were starting to hurt during the contractions along with her belly and back.Checking her contraction timer, she quirked her lips at seeing they were now averaging between 9 and 10 minutes apart. Down a couple minutes. That was progress. But now she felt like just lying down and breathing wasn’t enough. They definitely weren’t overwhelmingly painful; it was just that she needed...something else. Something was telling her to get a little more physically involved, she just wasn’t sure what to do.Looking at the time since the last contraction, she was due to have another shortly. She still wanted to save her strength for when things really got in gear, so she didn’t want to get up and walk around, but...what about a change in position?She took her pillows, made a pile at the head of her bed, then sat up against them, taking a deep breath to prepare herself. As soon as she exhaled, she felt the contraction start. She tapped the start button, then breathed steadily, dividing her attention between breathing and how this felt.And...it didn’t feel better.“Hmmmm,” she hummed in discomfort, her brow furrowing as her belly squeezed tighter. She reminded herself that closing her throat was bad, she needed to be open. Her exhales changed to soft “aaah”s, but it was getting harder to keep them steady as the pain rose. Now her back hurt worse despite the layers of pillows beneath it and there was aching pressure in her hips, which gave her a moment of fear at the thought that Hana was settling lower in her pelvis, maybe too low too fast.It was enough that, when the contraction reached its peak, she couldn’t take it anymore and pushed herself to sit on her shins, reaching back and using one arm to push on the headboard to keep herself upright while the other one went to the small of her back, right around her tail. She let out a pained “haah!” before she was able to control her breathing again.When it was over, she needed a couple of deep breaths to calm down before stopping the timer.Okay, so maybe this wasn’t hard labor yet, but maybe she was also past the phase where she could carry on normally or rest. But...that was good. It meant labor was definitely progressing. And finding a new position to handle it, that was part of how it worked, just like they said in all her reading and childbirth classes: When one thing didn’t work anymore, she should try something else, and she did, just like she was supposed to.Munching the last granola bar, Maki asked herself what she needed to do now. She was a smart, scholarly woman who’d been practicing for this day. She could find the answer. If lying down didn’t feel right and sitting against her pillows was worse, what else could she try that was a low energy position? Her bed was her natural choice for a place to rest, but if she couldn’t exactly rest through it anymore, maybe softness wasn’t what she needed.“Gravity,” the word naturally rolled off her tongue. Yes, that word that came up so much in her studies. Just get in a position to let gravity pull her kit down to where she needed to go. Maki didn’t have to do it, she just had to let it happen.Since her mattress didn’t give a good foundation to plant her feet on, she eased off it, did a quick bathroom break, and sat on the floor, staying upright with her back against the bed, and waited for the next contraction to test her theory.Over the next few contractions, she tried different positions. This was better than lying down or leaning against pillows, but when she tried sitting on her shins, then squatting, then sitting cross-legged and none of them worked, she wondered if she was on the wrong track. Finally, she tried kneeling on one leg and planting the other foot away from her torso in sort of a very wide-legged kneeling position, and...that felt better. She still couldn’t just breathe through the contractions, she had to vocalize (if gently), but it made the pain in her hips much more bearable. They felt less cramped, more open, and that made her feel like she’d found an answer that was working for now.Despite being alone, she blushed a little at how unashamed she was now that she thought about it. Not that she’d ever seen a birth outside of videos before, but she’d accepted (if not at all liked) the fact that labor and birth was going to put her in a very undignified state. Yet here she was, working with her body but nonetheless trying to balance that with surrendering control and trusting that her body knew how to bring her kit into the world. Feeling okay with being in an awkward position and not trying to hide her discomfort...it was...surprisingly liberating.“Hah, we’ll see if I’m still so calm when I’m pushing you out,” she remarked to Hana.She stayed there for a while, sitting between contractions and getting back into a wide-legged kneel when they came. She alternated between which leg she knelt on, imagining it was helping Hana open her cervix evenly. When she breathed, she kept her throat open, sometimes gently rocking her hips side to side or back and forth if the feeling struck her. She played some calming sound effects (waves on the beach, wind rustling through leaves, a steady but not booming thunderstorm) on her phone to stay in the zone.She reminded herself to stay loose and stay open. Open mouth, open throat, open lungs, open hips, open cervix.Everything was still okay.She didn’t let herself look at what time it was, not wanting to worry about things going too fast or too slow and just trying to let them happen at their own pace. Things were moving along just fine. At least, they were until she found herself needing to focus more and breathe harder through the contractions. And this position helped a lot with the pain in her hips, but she wished she could do something about the pain in her back.After a look at the big duffel bag that had been packed and ready to go for weeks, she left her bedside and dug through it, pulling out a tennis ball. These were supposed to be great for back pain, she remembered with a smile. Her smile faded when she also remembered she packed this for Sara to use, while she was currently alone. Well...maybe she could still make it work.Once she was back at her bed, she turned around, held the ball against her back, and leaned against it. It was a little awkward and she had to keep her hand on it to move it around her tail, but it was better than nothing as she rocked against it to roll it around her muscles.Her relief was short-lived, though, as she felt another contraction starting. She got into the kneeling position and started the timer again. She resumed her labor breathing, spreading her legs and rocking her hips just like before.“Ahhh...haaahhh...aaah...” she hummed out loud as the pain built. When it reached its expected height, she leaned back and allowed the tension to escape through her voice by groaning out, “HaaaAAH!” Her groan became a brief yelp as the peak went a little higher than expected before starting to dwindle down, making her jerk her hips and throwing off her breath pattern for a moment before she got it back in control. When it was done, she lifted her dress to look down at her belly, panting softly.“Hooh...okay...that one kinda hurt,” she admitted to herself as she tapped the timer and looked at how she was doing.Average time: 8.5 to 9 minutes apart, and she’d been doing the bedside kneel for some 45 minutes.That was starting to worry her. She wasn’t supposed to go to the hospital until they were 5 minutes apart. That was how it was supposed to go, like they said in the classes: Labor at home to be somewhere she felt familiar and comfortable before going where she would actually have the baby. All the better to decrease the chances of interventions she didn’t need, just like she planned.Never mind that Sara said Maki could call her whenever she felt like it was time to go and not be so wrapped up in what’s “supposed” to happen. She was already giving her body enough free reign. She couldn’t be ready to go when she was so far from the 5-minute mark.But while she never in her lifetime wanted to give birth alone, she was starting to feel in need of some reassurance. Maybe she could just call Sara and tell her how things were going or have her listen to how she was breathing and tell her if she was doing it right. Wasn’t that what she wanted Sara to do in the first place: Be there when Maki needed her? She closed the timer and went to her contacts, letting her thumb hover over Sara’s name.She stopped herself and shook her head. Not yet. Not until she was ready to firmly say it was time to go have the baby.Her resolve to keep that commitment, though, was wearing down after only a few more contractions. She was more ready for unexpected peaks in their pain, but the fact that they were lasting longer and building up higher was not lost on her.It wasn’t time to go yet, but maybe it was time to get ready to go.After finishing the latest contraction, she crawled over to her hospital bag and returned the tennis ball before looking through it. Despite Hana not being due until a week from today, Maki had kept it packed for weeks just in case. For her own peace of mind, which was something that she was trying to keep as much of as she could right now, she went through its contents. Insurance stuff, pre-filled hospital paperwork, copies of her birth plan, that hospital gown she got at her baby shower, a couple outfits for Hana, grip-bottomed socks to wear at the hospital, a change of clothes she would wear when she left, a nursing bra and breast pads, a couple extra hair ties, some toiletries and other hygiene stuff, her spare glasses, one of her baby care books...the list went on, and while she pushed the bag to its limit, it was a wonder she fit it all in.Sara was right: These bags might not be fancy, but how much they could hold was like magic. No wonder the midwife used them.Satisfied this was still in good shape until she threw in her final things, she got to her feet...and let out a huff, shivering a little at the extra pressure in her hips. She’d noticed it before when she was at her bedside, but when she was standing, wow, could she feel the difference as she pressed her hands around her hips, back and lower belly. Hana had settled into her pelvis for almost a week, and she was definitely settling even lower now; she could feel the change that had changed over this morning alone.Forget “maybe it was time to get ready to go,” it was definitely time to get ready.“Hooolyyy crap...” she muttered, rocking her hips around to try, and fail, to relieve the feeling, “and I thought I was feeling you down there before.”She took her bag to the front door and left it there to grab on her way out, then returned to the bedroom to take off her dress, underwear, and glasses before heading to the bathroom. She knew she was going to get messy, and she just took a bath last night, but she at least wanted to grab a shower to go to the hospital in as fresh of a state as it got for a woman in labor. Besides, maybe taking a shower could help her relax, and she very much welcomed any chance to relax she could get.After downing a cupful of water, turning on the shower and stepping in, she let out a pleased “oooh” as the warm water washed over her. She slowly turned around to rinse herself all over before leaning forward and sticking her head under the stream. As Hana often did when she showered, she felt the kit’s movements pick up, making her belly bounce slightly from how strong they were. She smiled as she rested her palms on her bump, wanting to enjoy this last day she would feel Hana move inside her. She felt a pang of nostalgia as she remembered that she was in the shower when she first felt Hana move, but it was so faint at the time that she wasn’t sure if it was just water hitting her belly. Now Hana was so big her movements could clearly be both seen and felt. Where had the time gone?Her eyelids fluttered, less to keep the water out and more from how good the water felt while she took a moment to just enjoy being pregnant while she still had the chance. Her ears relaxed and lay back against her head. It was like the tension and worry were washing down the drain.As the rabbit felt another contraction start, she met it with a deep breath, lifting her head to let the water splash on her chest and belly. It distracted her from the pain, and it worked well, but she couldn’t help but notice the pressure in her hips grew along with the pain. Hana was a big kit, not so much that Maki’s OB or Sara were worried, but she was in a higher percentile for a rabbit, maybe getting it from her coyote side, and Maki was feeling that weight even more now. She tried moving her hips in a slow, controlled circle, not letting herself give in to the instinct to fitfully jerk them around. It didn’t help much with the pressure, but much like with the shower water, it gave her a sense of participation and control without feeling like she had to stop her body from laboring.“Haaah...haaah...hoookay...” she sighed as she set her hands on her hips and pressed into them as she continued the motions. “I’m...okay...I’m open...open hips...open, ssss, open cervixsss,” she hissed as the wave crested. It took discipline to keep up the hip rolls, and she shut her eyes as her belly squeezed Hana’s head down against her eventual exit. As good as this was for the pain in her belly and pelvis, now there wasn’t a way to relieve the pain in her back. Not by herself, anyway.“Okay...oookaaayyy...” she moaned as the grip released again. She turned around to let the water hit her back and ease the dulling ache she felt there, keeping her hands on her hips and looking down at her belly just in time for a hard thump of Hana’s feet to make a bump rise on the dome. “Hrf...hey, this isn’t fun for me either, sweetie,” she said, poking where the bump had been. “You want out? You can come out. I never said you’d enjoy the ‘getting here’ part either,” she added with a laugh, “but Mommy meant what she said: I’m gonna get you here and I’ll pull my weight and yours too.”Maki allowed herself to be a little lazy and let the shower keep running, feeling her muscles loosen and become a bit more limber all over. To save some energy while still letting the water relax her, she returned to the kneeling position that had worked so well. There wasn’t much room to spread her legs in the shower, but even a regular kneel did fine to get her through a couple more contractions. After that, she stood back up and cleaned herself off with soap and shampoo, then waited out one last contraction before shutting off the water. This was nice, but she couldn’t forget that she had to be ready to leave and she wasn’t sure how soon that time might come.After she got out of the shower and dried off, she grabbed her brushes, returned to the bedroom, and tossed the brushes on her bed before going to her mirror. She wanted to get one last good look at herself to take in how much she’d changed. While she had her days when she just felt fat and heavy and gross, she’d gained a new level of respect and appreciation for pregnancy now that she’d gone through it herself. She thought back on all those days of taking her measurements with both a tape measure and scale and watching the numbers tick up. Sometimes she felt threatened by the inevitability of the changes and other times she felt grateful and amazed that her body adapted so quickly to accommodate her baby, especially considering she’d never done this before at her age.She turned from side to side to examine her much fuller curves from every angle. She’d gone from “trim” to “soft,” but it helped ease her self-image issues when she got reassurance from her friends (especially the ones who had children) that she was doing a great job of taking care of herself and staying in shape. Didn’t stop some parts of her from filling out. Her breasts and hips had gotten what could be kindly called a “motherly boost,” a difference she easily noticed even when everyone’s eyes were naturally drawn to her belly.She rubbed the swell lovingly as she thought back on the days when she obsessively watched it for changes. Early on, when she was still in denial, once she started feeling a bit swollen and bloated, she needed to adjust her skirts and pants to put less pressure on her stomach. Once she confirmed (or rather, grew up and accepted the truth of) her pregnancy, she remembered when she started trying to feel her uterus beneath her skin. She didn’t dare try that until she’d peppered her doctor with questions on how dangerous it was, and after he’d reassured her that there was nothing to fear as long as she was appropriately gentle, she had ever-so-delicately prodded her stomach between her belly button and her pubic area on a nightly basis.Maki never forgot how she was brought to tears the first time she just barely felt her fingertips meet the faint but unmistakable resistance of her hardened, expanded womb. Not from pain, she’d been pressing into her belly even more gently than her doctor did, but from being overwhelmed by emotion at feeling how it had changed because her baby was growing inside it.And now...well. Look at her belly now. Full to the brim with a happy, healthy, and kicky kit, even if this was her last day in there. She patted her belly and nodded.“Good job, uterus, wasn’t sure you had it in ya. Now just get her here. I’ll take over from there,” she said with a chuckle.As she turned away to look at herself from the back, her eyes were drawn to one last feature. Her smile became more sardonic as she looked at her backside, her tail twitching. No denying it: From every angle, she’d gotten what she had to admit was a mom bod, and even from behind (speaking of “behind”) was no exception. But so help her, if there was one set of curves she was going to work off, it was that one.Her mixed admiration and pouting at her body ended when she felt another pain starting. She hurried to her bed, opened the contraction timer on her phone and started it before she rested her palms on the mattress and started her breathing. Her voice and breath rose along with the contraction, and she rocked her hips from side to side. This was already harder without the shower to ease her tension.“Hooh...haah...c’mooon...I can do this...” she coached herself, spreading her legs a little to try to relieve the tension and pressure in her pelvis. She kept her breaths deep and full in her chest but couldn’t help but breathe faster as the pain grew. Her head bowed forward and she let out a low, throaty groan of “oooowwww” to work through the worst of it. She switched to faster, if steady, panting as the wave died down.Once she stopped the timer and had enough presence of mind back to look at what she was doing, she gave herself a brief mental reprimand as she noticed her shoulders had been bunched up instead of relaxed. But there was no question about it, the pain was getting hard to get through alone. She could still work through the contractions, but that’s what it was becoming: Work, not just something she could ease through.It sure would be nice for a certain someone with big, strong, gentle hands and a calming, friendly voice to be there to rub her back and hips. Or hold her hands. Or coach her. Or even just be around and know she could be completely trusted to look out for Maki and Hana’s comfort and safety.Letting out a sigh, she put her best guesses of the shower contraction times in the app and gave her hair and fur a quick brushing while she still could, settling for putting her hair in a ponytail for now. Once she finished her quick freshening up and dressed again, she tried to think of anything else she could do to convince herself she was still too early in labor to go to the hospital. But there was a nagging instinct that was telling her otherwise. She didn’t feel like she was getting so close to delivering that she was risking giving birth here, she just...felt like she needed to be where she planned to be.Not much came to mind in terms of distractions, so she settled for waiting for the next contraction to come and go before she finished getting ready to leave. She threw a few final things in the hospital bag, refilled her water bottle, and went to the living room.She stood by the stacked-up baby stuff in one corner of the living room, smiling at it all. Things she bought herself were mixed with gifts from her baby shower and presents from friends and family. She only kept what she could in her apartment, most of it was in the house and waiting to be set up before they moved in once Hana was born. These were just the necessities during the short time she would stay here with the kit, so she’d be able to take care of her. It was still a reminder of the good people she had who cared about her and her baby.After running her fingers across it all, she sat on the couch to either think of something else to do or wait out the rest of laboring at home.Speaking of good people, she was feeling kind of anxious to connect with her friends, though, but didn’t feel like talking in case she contracted mid-conversation. She wanted to save her lung strength for breathing and vocalizing, so she opened her text messages, starting with Laura as she had a drink.
Laura, you there

I’m right here, phone hasn’t left my side. How u doin, Mom

Short of divine intervention stopping her, she’s coming TODAY.

You need me now

Not yet but getting close.

Countdown has started, got it. I’m locked and loaded.
Then she opened another contact.
Hi Sara, it’s Maki, you still available

I’m still here, yes. How you holding up, honey?

Getting close to hospital time.

Wait no

I’m not leaving

I mean as in labor’s movin along

Got it. Are you still doing okay?

For now. In an hour, who knows.

Okay. You need me to head to the hospital or to come to you, just say the word and I’m wherever you need me, dear.

I know. You’ve always been here for me.

What I do best. Just remember: Relax, breathe, and think open thoughts.

Just like you helped teach me.
As comforted as Maki was to know they were both ready to help her, she thumbed back to the contraction app just in time for one to start, making her glad she didn’t try calling them. She eased off the couch to get on all fours, a position she hadn’t tried yet. She reminded herself to relax her shoulders and neck, letting her head bow forward and her ponytailed hair hang beside her face as she slowly rocked her hips. Steady, even moans from deep in her chest rose from her throat as she worked through it.Her belly felt even heavier in this position, but it helped a little with her back and hips, downgrading “painful” to “uncomfortable.” It made breathing easier, which made handling the contraction easier. “Easier” was a relative term, though, and she felt her face scrunching up and her hips freezing as the ache in her belly hit its high point, letting out a moan of “ohmygaaaaahd” before going back to wordless breathing. After ending it with a cleansing breath, she hit the timer again and looked at where she stood.7.75-to-8-minute average now.“...How’m I gonna do this?” she asked herself. She had time to recover between contractions, but if it still wasn’t hospital time, would she be able to handle it when they were so close together that she barely got time to rest? Especially if they were only going to get harder to work through?She swallowed as she sat up, wanting to face her fears and stop them head-on. She’d spent way too much time studying and practicing for this very event to think she couldn’t do it. She knew this wouldn’t be easy and she still welcomed it, whatever it threw at her. She would have her baby and be proud of herself for doing it.Besides, that’s why she had Sara. Sara would know what to do if Maki didn’t. From their first meeting, the mastiff had made Maki feel like everything would be okay and she was going to make sure it stayed that way. Just the thought of having her to hold onto and talk to made Maki feel like things would get better as soon as they were at the hospital.Just...not yet. Her plans were already getting thrown off by going into labor a week early and her doctor not going to be there. She wasn’t ready to make another change.She endured this for another half hour, sticking with the all-fours position while it still worked for her and trying to ignore the faint but growing urge to get out of here. It was a battle she was slowly losing, and having to spend any mental energy on anything other than getting through contractions was causing her to slip towards changing her mind all the more.But one thing was about to really drain her mental reserves.When her phone rang, she glanced at the ID, hoping it was Sara or Laura checking in on her. But nope, it was the first person she would call after Hana was born and the last person she really wanted to talk to right now.“Mom,” the ID read.She suddenly had a new decision to make. Mom had been very persistent about being updated on how her daughter was doing now that her first and only grandchild’s birth was right around the corner. If Maki ignored this call, Mom was just going to call again, and the more she ignored the calls, the more Mom was going to think something was wrong. She told Mom that, as much as she loved her, she didn’t want her in the same room while she was giving birth: She was just really going to need to focus on what she was doing and not care how her mother was seeing her. That took a lot of negotiating, ultimately leading to her promising Mom that she’d be the first person she called after the birth.Now that she was getting a firsthand sample of what labor was like and had an idea of what was in store for her in the coming hours, she wasn’t sure she wanted Mom to know she was in labor either. Mom would just want to know how she was doing all the time, and Maki wouldn’t put it past her to either push her way past hospital staff to get to her room or have to be kicked out of the building, and she wanted Mom to look back fondly on this day too, not as the day she was blocked from the hospital.Bottom line: She had about ten seconds to get ready to act naturally while in labor. If she could force it for this phone call, she would have a chance of keeping Mom happily ignorant.“Hiii, Mom!” she greeted cheerfully.“Hi, Maki!” her mother answered. “Sooo, how’s it going now that you’re officially on maternity leave?”“It’s going great, Mom! I’ve just been, y’know, just...relaxing, taking it easy, saving my strength,” she answered somewhat honestly.“Great! I kept saying, if you don’t start your leave soon, you’re gonna go into labor at work, and you don’t wanna start labor at anything less than your best.”“I know, and lucky us, that didn’t happen,” she agreed, thinking that instead, she went into labor the morning after, now wasn’t that just great? “You’re still good to fly in tomorrow?”“Well...you see...I had this weird dream last night, and I...got a little impatient.”Maki’s smile suddenly got more strained. “What,” she said flatly.“It’s just the craziest thing, but I had this vivid dream that you needed my help because you’d gone into labor and you weren’t going to make it to the hospital and we ended up delivering Hana right there in your apartment.”The rational side of Maki’s mind could understand how Mom would be so focused on Hana’s birth that she’d think about it even in her sleep. The irrational side found it very off-putting that Mom had a dream about it the night before Maki went into labor a week early. She did not need more reasons to worry about what could happen, like, say, giving birth at home.She sighed. “Mom, we have a plan. I’m a woman of plans. You come here tomorrow, you stay with me a night or two, you work with the movers to get enough stuff moved into the house that you can stay there until Hana’s born and we’re ready to move everything else.”“I haven’t forgotten,” her mom said firmly, “but babies make their own plans. You certainly did.”Like mothers, like daughters...“I know we’re gonna be living together again and I’m gonna lose most of my privacy for a very long time,” Maki said, rubbing her temple, “so I’d really like to enjoy what I have left, and-”“Attention: Dominique Parker, report to Security Station B to reclaim a forgotten item,” Maki heard on Mom’s end, which sounded like a loudspeaker, “Dominique Parker to Security Station B.”Maki blinked, raising an eyebrow. “...Where are you?”“If you must know, I’m at the airport now.”She felt a pang of dread hit her. “What did you do?”“I booked a flight to come out tonight and cancelled my flight tomorrow. It’s not that much more expensive in the long run.”Oh god, and Hana was coming today...how was she going to talk her way out of this... “Did you consider I might have plans?” she asked impatiently.“Oh would you relax? I’ll stay somewhere else if you can’t put me up tonight. That’s part of why I was calling, anyway,” Mom argued back. “Really, just take a deep breath, it’ll be fine.”“Why don’t you-” Maki started to say before she felt exactly what she hoped wouldn’t happen, causing her ears to stand upright from the tension. Speaking of breathing deeply, another contraction was starting. Oh, please, no.“...Why don’t I what?”“Forget it, we’ll, we’ll talk about it later,” she said a bit hurriedly, her mind racing to think of what to do as she set her phone on the couch and slid off to get back on all fours, “but what I meant was, yeah, book a room somewhere or something.” That was as much as she could say before she covered the speaker with her palm and started breathing deeply to try to stay in control. She couldn’t meet the start of this contraction with her labor breathing, so her rhythm was already a little thrown off, and now she had to improvise carrying on a phone call while contracting.“Fine. Good, even. I was going to say I was getting in late anyway.”She had time for a few more words before this was going to hurt too much for her to fake it anymore, so she took her palm off the phone to say, “Okay, great, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” and covered it again. She couldn’t risk Mom hearing her moan, so she focused on trying to just breathe, but the lack of release only made the tension build.“What are you doing?”A deep breath in, she moved her hand, “Hmmm?” she exhaled to make it sound like a question, she covered the phone again to resume her breathing.“It sounded like you were talking into the phone and now it’s harder to hear you.”Damn it.“And you sound a little out of breath.”She couldn’t think of anything better than, “InthemiddleofyogaMom! Doin’atoughpose!” Not a complete lie.“Oh, okay. Well, that’s all I really wanted to talk about, so I’ll let you get back to relaxing.”Just one more sentence, she could force it for just a second longer. “Okaythankyou- hnnngh!” That grunt of pain leapt from her throat as the contraction peaked and hit a new height, even if just a little bit higher than before.“Honey?” her mom asked, starting to sound concerned.She moved her hand from the phone to clamp it over her mouth, looking at her phone in mild panic as she tried to ride out the worst of the contraction and stifle any more sound, which also stifled her breathing.“...Miyako, are you sure you’re okay? I know you know what you’re doing,” Mom said, and Maki’s racing thoughts wanted to answer that she wasn’t so sure of that anymore, “but save the hard stuff for when you don’t have a baby to bend around.”She had to stay quiet and squeeze her eyes shut for a few more seconds until she felt the pain start to recede, then she allowed herself to take a few deep breaths and answer, “Hahhh, sorry...just overdid it...hoooh...and Hana kicked me when I was...trying to breathe.”Mom sighed. “Maybe it’s time for you to take a break and enjoy your maternity leave. Compared to pregnancy, giving birth is the easy part, and I don’t have to tell you that being a mom is the real-”“The real hard part, I know!” Maki cut her off, opening her eyes and scowling at her phone impatiently. “Sorry, but we’ve...we’ve covered that,” she said before Mom could ask why she was suddenly so annoyed, “so how about I...haaah...take your advice and relax...please?”“Yes, it sounds like you could use some.” Mom had no idea how right she was, and boy was Maki glad for that. “Can I just give a quick hi to Hana?” she asked hopefully.“Just...lemme finish this pose,” Maki answered. A few quiet breaths later to breathe out the rest of the pain and Maki grabbed the phone, sat on the floor, turned on the speakerphone, and lifted her dress to press it against her bare belly. “You’re on.”“Hiii, Hanaaa!” Mom chirped. “It’s Grandma! How’s my favoritest widdle grandkit?”No response from the grandkit in question, so Maki humored her and answered, “She says, ‘I’m very squeezed in here, when are you gonna make Mommy let me out?’”“Aww, honey, you can come out anytime you’re ready now!” No kidding. “Your mommy and grandma are ready for you! And we want to see you and talk to you and hug and kiss you from this side!” she cooed.Again, no response, so Maki faked a grunt and said, “Oof...she says, ‘Can’t wait, Grandma,’ if that’s what a punch to my guts means.”“Now you play nice with Mommy, Hana, she’s done a great job taking care of you already and...” Mom trailed off before her tone changed and it sounded like she’d turned her head away from the phone. “What’re you looking at?” she asked more pointedly. A pause, then she went on, “I’m gonna be a grandmother any day now, I’m talking to my soon-to-be grandchild.” Another pause, causing Maki to sigh at where this was probably going. “Yeah, ‘whatever’ for you, and you better keep it that way so I don’t see you shaking your head at me again, young lady!”Maki stepped in, “Okay, Mom, I don’t know what’s going on on your end, but that’s enough. We don’t need another grocery store incident.”“Hey now,” Mom answered back into the phone, “I was completely justified in that. No one talks about my daughters like that when I’m around, and when they call my grandkit a mistake too, Hell follows in my footsteps.”“And you already got yourself banned from one grocery store here for a full year, drama queen,” Maki groaned. “I appreciate you looking out for our honor. But I’m a grown woman who can decide when I’m offended and when I’m not, and who also knows how to talk to people and tell them exactly why I’m not happy with them, thank you very much.”“Worth it.”“Look...let’s just take a deep breath, get on with our days, and focus on what makes us happy.” She forced a smile. “Okay?”“...Yes. Let’s.”“Good. Now, give Hana a goodbye kiss, because Mommy needs to get back to her yoga.”“Okay.” After an exaggerated “mmmwah!” from Mom, she sang, “Grandma loves you, Hana!” Then ended with, “And I love you too, Maki. Take care of yourself.”“Love you too, Mom.”After hanging up, Maki sat back on the couch and buried her face in her hands. Mom was going to be an awesome grandmother; she had no doubt about that. But living with her again was going to take some getting used to. Then she groaned as she realized she could have just let the phone ring and called Mom back after a contraction and told her she was in the bathroom or something.Oh well. This was going to make for a funny story later.More importantly, she thought about how she lost it for a second during that contraction. Sure, she wasn’t in an ideal situation in a few ways, but even taking that into account, that one hurt more. The pain ceiling was only going to get higher until Hana was out, but was it approaching her limit of how much she could handle by herself?She knew she’d get her answer soon enough.With the next contraction, her breathing and rocking got her through the buildup just like before, but her breath was again caught in a gasp at how high it went. “Aaah! Ohh!” she grunted, taking a few hissing breaths through clenched teeth before she could let her jaw relax again and open her throat. Her hands still reflexively clenched the carpet beneath her, and she had to stop her rocking until the squeeze of her belly started to release.The contractions were starting to get some edge, some bite to them now.After it was done, she checked the times on her phone again and saw they were only down to 7.5 to 8 minutes apart. Now she was getting nervous again. They were that far apart, and she was having trouble getting through them herself? She should be further into labor before she needed help. She wasn’t completely “natural or bust” but she meant it when she said that she wanted to experience childbirth for herself from beginning to end. Plus, what if the hospital sent her home because she wasn’t far enough in?She only thought about it for a minute before she accepted the truth with a nod. Regardless of her plan, she wasn’t doing okay like this anymore. She didn’t want to be here, and most of all, she didn’t want to be alone.It was time to go to the hospital.Sitting on the couch again, she speed-dialed her first contact.“Yo, what’s the word?” Laura asked.“It’s time. She’s coming. I need you here,” Maki confirmed.“Ohmygod, are you having her right now?!” her friend asked nervously.“No, I mean, I need you to pick me up.”“Oh...gave me a scare there. Okay, I’ll be there in two minutes tops.”Maki sighed. “I told you, don’t rush. We’ve been practicing this for a reason, and I don’t need-”“Maki, I’m two blocks away,” she interrupted.“You’re what?”“Yeah, after your text, I figured I’d just wait by the park until you gave me the signal.”“...Oh. Well, thank you. You’ll get here before I’m down there, just gimme a little time to finish getting ready.”“Don’t mention it. I’m on my way.”That was done. Now for another call she’d been looking forward to even more than her first call with Sara today.“Hello, Maki,” Sara answered.“Hello, Sara. Are you still ready to do what you do best?” Maki asked with a smile.“I’m always ready, and it sounds like you both are too.”“We are. Contractions are, like, 7 and a half to 8 minutes apart, and I know what I planned, but it just...it doesn’t feel right to be here alone. I need you with me, and I need to be where I know Hana’s going to be born.”“Anything you need. If you say it’s time to go, we’re going. You need me to call your OB and tell him to oil up his catcher’s mitt?”“Heh,” Maki snickered, “I wasn’t gonna ask, but that’d be great, thanks. Just, when you call, they’re putting a substitute in, just so you know.” She played with the hem of her dress as she asked, “Um, say, if they say it’s too early and send me home...I um, I really don’t mean to impose, but...is there room at the birth center? Even just until we can go try to stay in the hospital again?”“Oh, Maki, you’re never imposing on me. If you don’t feel like you should be at home, you’re welcome here anytime. You want to wait here until we can go back, or if you change your mind and have the baby here? I’m gonna make it happen. That’s completely your shot to call,” Sara said gently.That gave Maki some relief that if things kept going wrong, there was insurance that it would still work out all right. There was just one other thing she was concerned about. “Thank you. And...I know this is probably a stupid question, but...you’re sure there’s nothing to worry about, with her being a week early?”“Yes I am. I’ve delivered quite a few babies who decided they weren’t gonna wait. Some of them were earlier than 39 weeks and were totally fine. You could’ve popped a week earlier, and I wouldn’t have been worried at all. I’m not gonna panic you if there’s something to be concerned about, but I know how much you appreciate honesty. I’m gonna take care of you, but I’d never lie to you to make you feel better.”Yeah...from their first meeting, Maki could tell Sara was an honest, trustworthy person who took her seriously enough to know she could handle both good and bad news. And if there was something wrong, Sara would know what to do. “Okay. Good,” she answered simply.“Here’s another way to think about it. We both know the old ‘bun in the oven’ saying. Well, even when you follow the recipe, your bun’s not going to be 100% perfect. And the important part? It’s okay to not be perfect because nothing is, and it’s not even a problem, either. Your bun’s been baking long enough that she’s done. If she came out a little earlier or a little later? If we hadn’t been there to see it for ourselves, there’d be no way we’d have even known about it,” she explained.Maki nodded slowly, her smile widening. “Wow...that’s...a really good metaphor. Mind if I pass that knowledge along?” she asked.“Mind? I’d be flattered if you did.”“Thanks.” Then she added, “It works even better for us, ‘cause we’re both bun-nies,” to their shared laughter.Amazing. She was in labor that had gotten to the point of needing help to get through it, and Sara couldn’t just make her feel safe and comforted, she could even laugh with her.“Thanks, Sara,” she repeated. “I’ll see you soon.”After that, she took a bit of time to soak in the good feelings. There were just a couple things she needed to do before leaving.She rocked, panted, and huffed through the next pain before she got up and grabbed her tape measure on the way to the bathroom. She took one last set of measurements along with her weight before putting that into her phone to enter into her pregnancy notes later, then went to the bedroom and started recording on her computer’s camera.“Hello, sweetheart,” she said to her baby. “It’s the afternoon of June 2nd, and I have been pregnant with you for 39 weeks. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s always been worth it, and I’ve been looking forward to it being just you and me, like this,” she turned to the side and rested her hands on the top and bottom of her belly, “for a while longer.” She stroked her bump and added, “Buuut...nope. You want out today. You’re not gonna let Mommy have one day to just relax.” She giggled, wagging her finger at the camera in a “no no” gesture. “This better not be your first step on the road to being a little troublemaker. Mommy works with a lot of kids, and she knows how to handle troublemakers.”She flinched and let out a huff as Hana kicked the top of her belly and felt like she was trying to resettle her head in Maki’s pelvis, which felt even more uncomfortable than when Hana had ever done that before.“Hoo...yeah, you’re not even born and you’re already backtalking me,” she playfully lamented. “But...yep. Today’s the day I finally meet you. I finally hold you. I finally...” she trailed off, taking a deep breath to try to steady herself, “we’re finally...together.”Another deep breath, and another, though gentler, kick from Hana.“39 weeks ago...you were nothing more than a figment of my imagination. A daydream of what I wanted most. A wish...that came true. You became real, right here in my body,” she patted her belly, feeling her composure breaking. “Now, you’re about to start your life in the world outside of me. You’re ready to show the world...who you are.” She sniffed. “You’ve come...so far...in so little time...”That was as far as she could get before she started crying.“Mmm, I’m sorry, honey, I’m crying because I’m happy.” She let out a slightly choked laugh to make sure her future child had no doubt she meant it as she wiped her eyes. “So...this is the end of Mommy being pregnant with you, and the start of her being Mommy to you on this side of the world. I’m going to the hospital now. I’ll see you soon.” She blinked out another tear as she pulled up her dress, kissed her palm, and rested her palm on the bottom of her belly, as close as she could get to where she felt Hana’s head. “I love you.”At that, she ended the recording.She knew that one was going to be a tearjerker for years to come.As expected, Maki had another contraction not long after the recording finished, wanting this to be the last one she had at home. She got through it with her spirit renewed, knowing she was about to go where she was meant to be to finish this part of her journey and start the next part, the part that would go on for the rest of her life.Once it was done, she stood in front of the bedroom mirror to look herself in the eyes. She’d done a lot to keep herself motivated during her pregnancy, and now that her pregnancy was at its end, she had one last affirmation specifically for labor. She’d never said it out loud before, only thought or written it, wanting the only time she said it to be when she went to have her kit. Now was the time.“I may be in pain, but I’m not hurt. I may feel bad, but I’m not sick. I’m going to the hospital, but I’m not in danger,” she told herself with a voice full of confidence.Looking down at her belly, she held it in her hands. “And neither, are, you,” she went on before meeting her own gaze again and finishing her long-awaited promise.“Time to have the best day of my life.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 2: The Team Gathers“Oh so glamorous.” That was how Maki felt, waddling out of the hospital bathroom where she’d changed, with her hands pressed against the small of her back. Gigantic belly, taut and sore and as full of a squirmy kit as it was gonna get. Grippy socks. Hospital admitting bracelets. The one thing from her usual outfits that was left was her glasses. Pure fashion.Ah well. At least she’d been able to bring her own gown. This one was much more comfortable than the ones the hospital provided and was fitted with snaps and soft Velcro to enable opening and closing for easy access to the front and back of her torso, either in whole or in part, at her discretion, letting her expose only what she needed or wanted to. The deep maroon color was also better than the sickening yellow that she’d seen while coming up to the ward. Felt and looked good, as labor and delivery gowns went. Even Sara had told her it looked good on her.As she slowly sat on the edge of the bed, she made a mental note to send an extra thank-you card to whoever it was who had given her this at her shower. She had it written down somewhere.The trip here had been uneventful. She’d had one big contraction on the car ride over, and it had been almost funny how alarmed Laura had gotten while Maki grabbed the car door’s armrest with one hand and the seat with the other and huffed her way through the surge. It would have been slightly funnier if Laura wasn’t the one driving and she needed to keep her eyes on the road, and if Maki hadn’t had the tough contraction to contend with. She’d be able to look back on it and laugh, she was sure.Being in the hospital had eased her concern a bit, just knowing that she was finally surrounded by those who knew what they were doing. The best part, though, was waddling in the front doors and seeing the big mastiff waiting for her right at the front desk. Sara, her doula, her friend, the person she needed and trusted most to get her through this had come right up to her to welcome her with a warm smile and a hug, and just that had renewed the rabbit’s courage. Everything felt okay around her, right from their first meeting those 19 weeks ago, and this was what they had both been waiting for.The room was nice, with beautiful midday light coming in from the windows, and not a lot of noise from the rest of the labor ward. Most things in this room were scaled for patients of Maki’s size, especially the furniture (as much as a hospital bed, a couch, and a couple of chairs counted as “furniture”), bathroom fixings, and bassinet and newborn care things off in the corner, but other things were meant to be accessible by hospital staff of any size, like the cupboards, drawers, and sink along the far wall. She felt her heart swell in her chest when she stepped in, saying that this was it, she had at last come to the room where her kit would be born, and Sara said they’d make this the setting of the best story Maki would ever tell.Once she had changed into her gown, with Sara setting her own duffel bag full of midwifery magic next to Maki’s, Sara had perched herself right on the couch underneath the window, talking to Maki about her early labor. Given the couch was meant for more rabbit-sized people, Sara took up almost all the space by herself, which she just laughed off and remarked that it was no wonder Maki didn’t want to give birth in her apartment, the two of them would never fit in there together! To Maki’s surprise, it made her laugh too, which lifted her spirits even more.Her laughter was interrupted when she’d sunk into another contraction, and she stood up to rock herself through it. She had ended up slamming her hands onto the bed and bowing her head as she stood and rocked back and forth to try to soothe herself. Only a moment in, and she felt Sara’s presence, her soft voice in her ear asking for permission to touch her, and she shook her head, wanting to pull herself through this on her own.Nonetheless, she’d felt the bed sink with Sara’s weight, and then her big, warm hand was on her own, and she managed to take in a huge, deep breath. It felt good to have her here. To know she was in a place where anything that happened could be handled and handled quickly if needed.Once the contraction slowed and finally eased, Maki lifted her head and gave Sara a weak smile, and Sara returned it with one of her own. “Looks like you’re doing some good work already. I’m impressed,” the doula said.Maki chuckled a soft laugh and drew herself back up straight, stroking a hand down her belly and then tucking both underneath its weight. “If I’ve impressed you, I’m counting that as a win.”Sara grinned and winked at her, then stood again, adjusting her blue scrub top. “Anything I can get you to help you get comfy? Blankets, pillows, yoga ball, snacks, water?”“Mm. No, I think I’m okay right now...now that you mention it, I might try to do some yoga, actually...” Maki mused, then nodded, deciding. “Yeah. That might help me settle a bit. Focus and loosen myself up.”“Alrighty. I’m gonna be right here and unpack some of our stuff, lemme know if you need something or someone to lean on. My eye’s on you.”Maki nodded and gave her doula a smile, then blew out a breath and moved to the end of her bed. With a slow inhale, she closed her eyes and began guiding herself through her well-learned yoga poses, trying to maintain her breath and keep her core engaged as she moved through each pose. The weight of her belly was certainly different, even from the last time she’d tried this...and her hips felt looser. But that could just be her imagination.A contraction needled at her spine, but she ignored it for the moment and finished guiding herself through her pose, brow furrowing and breath exhaling through her nose with a sharp huff.Even as she contracted, she started the sequence of poses again, focusing on staying steady and allowing herself to hold each pose a few seconds longer than she had previously...especially the lengthening, reaching poses.Her ear twitched as she sensed someone else coming in the room, then moving towards Sara, and then hushed voices came from Sara’s direction, but she willed herself to ignore them for the moment and finish her sequence.When the contraction faded, Maki slowly lowered her arms, then grumbled softly and opened her eyes, leaning her hands on the bed and relaxing. Standing over near Sara was a young, fit, friendly-looking golden retriever, a bit shorter than Sara, with a clipboard, light lavender scrubs, an ID badge on his hip, and arm fur that had been trimmed much shorter than the silky locks typical of his species.When he noticed Maki looking over, he smiled and gave her a wave, taking a couple steps closer. “Hi, Ms. Morita! I’m Jeremy, I’m gonna be the RN taking care of you today,” he introduced himself. “You good for some chatting or should I leave you alone?”Maki smiled just a little bit, straightening up and rubbing one hand down the side of her belly. “Hi. I’m good now, we can talk.”“Excellent. I like that you were doing some yoga, I do yoga too,” the retriever smiled and clicked his pen, then tapped it on the clipboard a couple times, his ears lifting, “just don’t overdo it, okay? You’re gonna be working out a lot here in a little while and you don’t get many breaks.”Maki chuckled a little bit and shook her head, turning and sitting on the edge of the bed. The retriever grabbed a rolling stool and sat down on it, scooting over to follow her lead and stay facing her as he lowered it to keep his eyes more level with hers. “Yeah, I know. I just needed to focus a little bit. Y’know, zone in.”“Hey, that’s a great idea,” Jeremy nodded, then glanced down at his clipboard. “Okay, I just have a couple easy questions for you.”She cleared her throat, getting him to look back at her. “I pre-filled all my hospital paperwork, and Sara and my OB sent all my medical info here. Whatever you need, it should already be there,” she said.“Yup, I looked through it,” Jeremy replied, his smile not wavering at her slightly dismissive tone, “I’d just like to ask a couple of questions to get to know you a little.”That surprised her a little, but she figured she should get it over with. He was just going to be coming and going over and over, anyway. “All right.”“Okay. Would you rather I keep calling you ‘Ms. Morita’ or is ‘Miyako’ alright with you?”“Please just call me ‘Maki.’ I’m a middle school vice principal, so I hear ‘Ms. Morita’ way...way too much.”“I hear ya.” Jeremy chuckled and nodded. “‘Maki’ it is.”“Nice to meet you.” Maki nodded, both of them smiling.“I was going to ask if your little one has a name that you’d like me to use, but I saw on the whiteboard that you already answered that question. Would you like me to use it, or is that friends and family only?”Again, he surprised her, this time that he would ask a question so...nice. She hesitated, then sighed, rested a hand on her belly, and melted into a calm smile as she explained, “My family seems to have a ‘firstborn is always a girl’ curse, so...I’ve been calling her Hana for now.” She smiled wider as she felt Hana squirm in there, as if responding to being introduced. “She might still surprise me, I guess, but she’s always needed a name. Makes her feel more like...not just ‘a baby’ or ‘the baby,’ but my baby.”Jeremy grinned, his tail wagging a little bit behind him. “That’s a very nice name. That’s good to be prepared, we’ll see what surprises Hana’s got for us.” Nodding, he looked down at the clipboard that was hanging off Maki’s bed and unclipped a manilla folder from it, on the front of which was written “Maki’s Birth Plan” along with a couple of her ultrasound pictures and a doodle from Sara of her and Maki’s smiling faces, and flipped through a couple of the papers. “Let’s see...birth plan looks pretty solid and simple...” he trailed off before he muttered some of the highlights, “‘wants natural labor and delivery,’ mm hm, ‘will ask for an epidural or other drugs if wanted, do not offer,’ okay...‘be honest,’ gladly...‘don't talk about the father,’ duly noted...you’ve got a doula here with you...”Sara waved at him from the couch then, and he glanced up, chuckling and waving back. Maki glanced over her shoulder and smiled at her doula, again reminded of how glad she was that she was here with her warm energy.“...and, first and foremost, you want as little intervention as possible. That sound about right?”Turning her attention back to Jeremy, Maki nodded, leaning back on one hand to stretch her back a little bit. “That sounds right.”“Okay, then, you got it. I’m gonna stay out of you and Sara’s way as much as I can.” He looked back down at the plan and finished going through its pages before chuckling. “If I can ask another question, I saw in your records that this is your first baby, but have you written a birth plan before? This reads like something that was written by someone who doesn’t just know what they want, they know how to write these, and they know how we at the hospital like to be told these things.” He flipped back to one page and held it up so they could both see it. “It’s even got a phone tree of who you’re calling when Hana’s born, who they’re calling, and who they’re calling.”Yet another thing she didn’t expect, this time in the form of a compliment. “I did my research and revised it several times. That’s version six,” she answered before motioning back with her head towards Sara, “and I had a great proofreader and editor to help me. I spent a lot of time planning for this.”He tapped the clipboard with a nod. “Well done, Maki.”Her eyebrows rose a little. “Thank you,” she answered, smiling back before she went on, “so, my OB was supposed to be here, but they said he had a family emergency, there should be someone else, a Dr. Jennings I think?”“Ah, Jennings...I just happened to deliver a baby with a Dr. Jennings a few days ago, from...Edwards-Rose OB/GYN?” Jeremy asked, getting a nod from her. “He’s been delivering babies for this hospital for quite a long time. I think you’re gonna be in good hands with him, even though he’s not your usual OB.”Now her smile wasn’t from forced politeness, but she actually felt some comfort in how he was treating her so far and that the people here knew what they were doing.Clicking his pen, Jeremy stuck it back in his pocket, then leaned forward, his hand on his knee. “I’m here for you too, okay? Consider me your other personal advocate, like your doula, only I know a bit more about how this hospital in particular works and wants things done.” He smiled a bit bigger, his eyes twinkling. “Plus, I’m in training to be a midwife too. So, I’ll do my best for you and Hana too, okay?”Maki’s eyebrows lifted again, and one of her ears cocked questioningly along with her head. “Really? Huh...it took a while for me to learn midwives were even still a thing around here, but I never heard...” she trailed off before she stopped herself, her ears flopping against the back of her head.He chuckled. “Of a guy being a midwife? Or ‘midhusband’ I call it sometimes,” he finished for her.“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it as in you can’t or shouldn’t or...anything like that,” she insisted, “I just hadn’t thought about it before, just surprised me, that’s all.”He nodded, motioning with his hands for her to calm down. “Really, it’s okay. I get that sometimes. No offense taken at all. You’re right, it’s pretty rare. And, hey, you actually apologized, which I don’t always get, either.”Whew. Here he was being nice to her, so much so that he was even treating her kind of like how Sara did, and she just said that. In front of Sara, no less, who she trusted so much partly because she was a midwife. “Ahem, if it’s any fairness,” she patted her belly, “if I can take until I’m 42 to get pregnant, by accident, while on birth control, and then raise that baby single, I should totally believe in your dream.”“Haha, the important thing is, let’s leave my dream up to me. I’m here, right now, for both of you,” he nodded at her belly, “to make your dream come true.”She smiled a little bit, even though a contraction was needling at her lower back. Okay, he’d passed the first impression test. “Mm? That’s nice. Thank you, Jeremy, I think...we’re gonna be just fine.” Puffing her cheeks, she leaned forward a little bit, and Sara stood and moved over to her side, holding out her hand. Maki grabbed onto her hand and closed her eyes tight as the contraction slammed into her, and she felt Sara’s other big, warm hand rest onto her arched back. “Breathe,” she reminded herself, and hauled in a deep, cleansing breath through her nose, letting it out in a deep exhale through her mouth.“There ya go,” she heard Sara whisper, and she nodded a couple times, taking another breath. It was like pulling herself through thick mud or trying to get a car to start in the snow. Slowly, she found herself leaning against Sara’s comforting bulk a bit, and the mastiff wrapped an arm loosely around her waist, holding her to her.She had to admit, being up and able to move was much better than sitting in one place, even if the improvement was just mental. Once the contraction faded, she huffed out her breath and sat up, shaking it off a bit. “Mmh. Hate sitting down.”Sara laughed softly, patting her hip before pulling away. “Well, nobody’s gonna force you to stay down.”“Nope. Not if Nurse Jacobson has anything to say about it,” the other dog agreed.“Thank God.” With a big sigh, Maki shifted, then pushed herself to her feet, resting her hands on the small of her back. She looked up at Jeremy, rolling her shoulders back. “I figure you gotta do a check soon?”Jeremy nodded back at her. “Yep, I’d like that if you’re up for it, just to get a feel for where you’re at in your labor and how far you’ve got to go!”She raised an eyebrow at him, yet again surprised that he was, basically, asking for her consent. She wanted to be checked this time, sure, but she assumed he had to do it anyway, or at least that he’d act like he had to.He looked back at her questioningly, then glanced at Sara before returning his eyes to her. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked.“No...no, not at all. Okay. I’m gonna go to the bathroom first then.” Maki thumbed towards the door in question, then, with a soft grumble, waddled into the adjoining bathroom and closed the door, not even waiting for a response.The two watched her go, Sara breaking the silence first by getting up and examining the bed a bit. “Do these beds have grab bars or just stirrups?”Jeremy turned on the stool, his ears lifted, and cocked his head to the side a bit. “Mm? Oh, yep, they’ve got bars. The lever’s on the other side.” He smiled as he pointed.Sara leaned on the bed to peek over, then nodded, looking satisfied. “Good. Always good to know.”Jeremy nodded back, then stood and offered his hand. “We didn’t really get to formally meet earlier, I’m Jeremy.”Sara grasped his hand and shook it, giving him a warm smile with her own floppy ears lifted a bit. “Nice to meetcha! I’m Sara, I work formally at the birth center in midtown, but I offer my services as a doula and midwife to any of my patients.”Jeremy blinked, looking surprised before flipping through Maki’s various papers again, then found a page of the birth plan with Sara’s personal information on it. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were a midwife too! That’s cool.”Sara nodded and sat back down on the edge of the couch, grinning. “I’ve been at this quite a while.”“Oh heck yeah. I’m still learning, myself, I kinda got a way to go, but I really want to get into it.” Jeremy nodded eagerly, fiddling with his clipboard and smiling as he stepped over to her side. “Well, I know who to watch to learn a thing or two from right now. Me, I’ve only been out of school for about a year, I gotta build a lot more experience.” He scratched the back of his head self-consciously. “I’ve never been a main caregiver at a birth, but I’ve been a doula for a couple of friends-of-friends who referred me...and I’ve had to be subbed in as a catcher for a few babies who couldn’t wait for the OB because they didn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, they saw a waterslide and jumped right in,” he said with a chuckle.Sara laughed warmly, reaching over and patting his back reassuringly as the bathroom door clicked and Maki waddled out, adjusting her hair bun. “Everything go okay?”“Yeah, fine. I just feel all...loose and sore.” Maki sighed and sat down on the bed, then swiveled and swung her legs up onto it.Sara gave her a warm smile, and Jeremy nodded. “Sounds about right. You’re doing great, though. You ready for a check?” he asked.Running a hand down her belly, Maki smiled just a little bit. “I’m gonna have a contraction here in a second, I can feel it, it’s gearing up, so, uh, gimme a second.”Jeremy chuckled and sat back down on the stool, scooting it over to the stored-away medical supplies, setting his clipboard on the counter, and opening the cupboard to find his gloves. “There’s no rush, we’re on your time now.”Sara nodded, moving over to kneel by the edge of the bed and smiling down at Maki. “Yep. You’re officially in charge right now, what you say goes, okay? You’re the boss. Just like at your job. We’re the kiddos, you keep us in line.”Maki smiled up at Sara, then huffed out a soft breath and closed her eyes as the contraction took hold of her hips. She arched her back a bit, then flopped back down onto the mattress as it rolled through her. “Ooh.”“That’s it. You got it. Keep those sounds nice and low in your chest. Rumbly, like a growl.”Sara’s voice was soft and gentle, and Maki held onto it like a lifeline. With a low grumble, she wrinkled her nose and rolled herself over onto her side, reaching out a hand to grab onto...something, the mattress, or the handle on the side of the bed, or her pillow. What she found instead, without having to reach very far, was Sara’s big, warm hand, and she held on tightly.Her breath hissed out from between her clenched teeth as she rode the contraction through, feeling...fidgety and restless. Sara kept a firm hold on her hand, echoing and giving back the same pressure that Maki gave her. With a few more soft, grumbly, grunty sounds, Maki rode the rest of the contraction through and relaxed after a few moments, blowing her air out with puffed cheeks and relaxing.“...Whoof.”“Nice work, hun,” Sara murmured, and Maki opened her eyes to smile tiredly up at her midwife.“Thanks.” Allowing herself a moment to pull herself back together, Maki closed her eyes for a beat or two, then gave Sara’s hand a gentle squeeze, pulled back, and peeked over her shoulder at Jeremy. “M’kay. How do you need me for this?”The retriever smiled at her as he scooted up close to the edge of the bed. “If you could please just roll onto your back for me, and relax your knees to either side, like a butterfly, that’d be fantastic. If two fingers are too much for your size, let me know; it takes a little longer with one for me to feel out a good measurement, but I can do whatever you need.”With a nod, Maki planted her hands on the bed and hefted herself over onto her back, then relaxed back against the pillows and opened her legs as well as the front-bottom fabric of her gown out of the way. Unconsciously, her cheeks reddened, but she tried to ignore it, peeking over the mound of her belly as Jeremy approached.“Alright. Here I come, nice and easy.” He patted her thigh before very carefully inserting two fingers into her vagina.She flinched, reaching down to his wrist. He withdrew his hand as soon as she touched him, and she hissed, “Aah, s-stop, one finger, please!”He nodded. “Okay, that’s too much, got it.”The rabbit took a few breaths to steady herself and then gave him a nod, which he returned. With a quick countdown of “one, two, three,” he slid back in with the requested single digit, his eyes angling up toward the ceiling as he very carefully felt around.He was gentle, Maki would give him that, but feeling his finger against her sore cervix still made her wrinkle her nose. Sara chuckled softly and offered her hand again, and Maki took it gladly, puffing her cheeks as she blew out her breath.“I’m sorry, I’m trying to be quick,” Jeremy murmured apologetically before removing his hand and pulling the gloves off of his hands. “There we go. Well, you’re sitting at about 2 centimeters right now, just about a third of the way for someone of your size.”Maki blinked rapidly. “...2? That’s all?” she spat out, gawking at him.Jeremy tossed the gloves in the trash and scooted quickly back to the bed. “It doesn’t seem like a lot, but you’re doing really well, I promise.”Maki listened, then sighed and nodded, rubbing her hand over her forehead. “Okay...I dunno why I thought I would be further along than that. But...only 2?” she muttered, that confidence she felt since she got here flagging a bit as she looked up at Sara. “I know I was supposed to wait until I was contracting more...but I just...I needed to be with you and come here, and I’m only that far in?”Sara gave her hand a squeeze, wiggling it a bit. “Hey. Don’t get psyched out, you’re doing great. Your body and your baby said they were ready to go right then, plan or not, and you listened. You’re listening to your body, and to your baby. That little kit is gonna be here before you know it.”“That’s right, and dilation’s just one way of checking on things,” Jeremy said, “and it’s different for everyone. Sometimes it’s nice and steady, like this,” Maki looked at him as he raised a pointing finger diagonally, like he was drawing a line on a graph, “and sometimes it’s like this,” he drew another line that started rising slowly and then suddenly curved way up, “or this,” a third line that rose quickly and then paused in midair, “uh, wait...” he tried drawing a line again, then waved his hand around, “blah...math and I aren’t friends, but...you get the idea.”She understood, able to give both of them a nod.“What we mean is, your body and Hana have ways to talk to us, and you can listen in ways we never can.” Sara gently set her other hand on Maki’s belly. “I know how much you believe in yourself and in your baby. Just keep listening to them.”“Yeah...yeah, you’re right. Everything’s okay. I studied for this, I trained for this,” Maki answered with another, more confident nod. This was what she’d been preparing for. No way was she already dwelling on the bad side.Sara nodded back, grinning. “There ya go! That’s what I wanna hear, we all know you can do it!” she said, patting her belly and getting a kick back from Hana, making her and Maki laugh at her kit’s agreement.The retriever patted the bed as he stood up. “So, let’s show this whole ‘labor’ thing what Maki’s made of, huh? You wanna get back on your feet and we can have a listen to Hana’s heart, show us she’s got her mom’s spirit?”“Yeah!” Maki agreed as she started to move. “If you gotta put the monitors on, can you just take ‘em off when you’re done?”“Monitors? Heh, no need to jump to that,” Jeremy chuckled as he stepped back to the drawers full of medical supplies and took out a gadget Maki had gotten familiar with in her visits with Sara.“A doppler? Really?” she asked as Sara helped pull her to her feet.“Mm hm! We’re just gonna listen in on Hana for a while, and if she’s doing good, we’ll check in on her now and then to make sure she stays that way.”Sara smiled at him, clearly pleased he was doing as he said and not getting in Maki’s way, before she said, “So, how about we have a listen to the girl behind the curtain?”Maki opened the gown over her belly, baring the big swell for the nurse as he sat down on the rolly stool again. There was a staticky buzz when he turned it on, then he held the probe to Maki’s belly with a remark of, “You’re on the air.”
Khhhhh-thrum-thrum-thrum-thrum
All of them silently smiled as they looked down at the rabbit’s belly. Maki’s ears twitched at the familiar, calming sound of her kit’s heart, strong and steady, and the two dogs’ tails flicked as they all listened.“She sounds nice and cozy in there,” Sara noted, to which Jeremy nodded in agreement.“Good,” Maki replied, rubbing the top of her belly as Hana squirmed a bit in there. “C’mon, don’t be shy, honey.”After a bit more listening, Jeremy pulled the probe away. “Okay, that’s a good, steady heartbeat. And how have her movements been?”“Kicky. Squirmy. Big. Like always,” Maki answered with a giggle from Sara.“Heh, that sounds like she’s nice and cozy too,” he said, chuckling back, “but what I mean is, they’re steady too?” When she nodded, he added, “Okay, great, that’s how she should be. You know her kickiness better than anyone else.”“‘Know it?’ I can’t get away from it,” she remarked, making everyone giggle. Wow, she was impressed at how...relaxed and positive the two of them were making her feel. From Sara, that was no surprise at all, but from Jeremy, this stranger she’d only just met? That was something.“All right, then, we’ll check on her during a contraction and make sure she’s still doing good,” he said.She nodded. “You need me to stand still?”“Mm mm,” he answered with a shake of his head. “You can pretend I’m not even here. Move, make noise, whatever you gotta.”Thank goodness, she knew she had to be smart with how she used her energy, but she didn’t like having to stay still. They didn’t have long to wait before her eyebrows furrowed and she turned to face the bed again. “Okay,” she muttered to both of them as she set her palms on the bed, closed her eyes, and met what was coming with a cleansing breath.She couldn’t see Sara, but she could feel her presence as she crouched down and rested a palm on her back. She felt the probe against her belly. She heard the pulsing thrum of Hana’s heart on the speaker. And within a few seconds, she felt the needling pressure of her muscles warming up grow into the pain of a contraction.She breathed as steadily as she could, starting with calm and steady inhales through her nose and exhales through her mouth. As the squeezing rose, she swayed her hips side to side, back and forth. She let her mouth hang open, imagining her lungs and throat opening too and letting that pain and tension escape in her voice as she let out a long, grumbly “huuhhh.”“Good, Maki, good. Keep those muscles loose. Loose, and open,” Sara coached her, only speaking just loudly enough for Maki to hear over her baby’s pulse and her own moans.She gently rolled her head from side to side along with her hips, letting those deep-chested, throaty sounds continue. They grew louder as the contraction grew stronger, with “ooh”s and “mmm”s mixed in as it reached its peak.Sara read her perfectly, and she added just the right amount of pressure on Maki’s back. “Attagirl. Let it out, just like that.”That extra pressure and Sara’s encouragement was what Maki needed. Just like she’d always done even when they were first getting to know each other, if Maki needed more support, Sara always had more to give.Her pained but purposeful sounds steadily gave way to another long “huuuhhh,” then back to deep breaths, and finally to one last “whooo” before she opened her eyes to look at the mastiff, who was already smiling at her.“Good job, Maki,” getting a smile and a nod back before they both looked at Jeremy.“And good job, Hana,” he answered their unspoken question, pulling the probe away to nod at them. “She’s doing great during contractions, just like her mom.” The laboring rabbit beamed with pride in her daughter as he got up to go put the doppler away. “Okay, then,” he said as he wrote some things on his clipboard, “those are the main things out of the way. I just have a couple quick things to do, like take a teeny bit of blood to make sure you can get an epidural no problem later if that’s what you wanna do. Then I’m gonna get outta your hair for a while and let you keep at it. I can see you’ve got great support right here,” he gave Sara a nod.Sara lightly patted Maki’s back. “Me? I’m just the coach and cheerleader. She’s the all-star here,” getting her friend to smile at them.He grinned, adding, “I’ll pop in here and there to see how you’re doing, and we’ll check in on Hana too.” He finished his work and looked up at Maki. “If you need me, call button’s on the side of the bed,” he pointed with his pen at the button in question. “Anything you need right now?”She shook her head as she closed her gown back up. He’d have to do more than this to earn her trust, especially when she was in labor, but she felt a little more comforted that maybe, just maybe, she didn’t need to worry that this hospital wouldn’t let her labor and birth how she wanted. “Nope. And...thanks.” Maki smiled a bit and stretched her legs out, cupping her hands underneath her belly and looking down at herself. “I can’t wait to see her.”“You’ve waited years and years for this, mama,” Sara said, moving the arm on Maki’s back to pull her into a one-armed hug, “and the years, months, and weeks are all done. Today’s the day.”“Yep, you are on your way!” Jeremy chirped excitedly, giving her a big, beaming smile.Maki nodded and looked back at him, her heart swelling. She really was.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 3: No Plan Survives...“Deep, low sounds. That’s it, nice work.”Sara’s voice was soothing, low, and soft. Maki was surprised she could hear it over her own noises, even with how much she wanted to hear it.It was like her voice was almost doing things without her permission. As each surge coursed through her body, Maki found herself moaning, grunting, and intoning, deep and low in her chest. It felt good to use her breath instead of being tempted to hold it, and somehow the noises helped her cope with the steadily increasing pain.Sara, the books, the classes, and everything else were right: It was all about finding a balance of staying in control while letting her body do what it needed. Maki was, as she often said, a woman of plans, but her appreciation for Sara’s patience and guidance through this new experience was only growing.She still felt restless as she spent her first couple of hours in the hospital, but Sara had been an incredible help with that. She’d suggested position after position, activity after activity, unflinchingly helping Maki find something she could feel comfortable in. Finally, she had settled almost where she had started when she’d first arrived, standing at the edge of the bed with her hands planted on the mattress.Sometimes she would sway back and forth, letting her loose hips rock and roll back and forth and feeling her belly bump against her thighs. During a few of the tougher contractions, when the pressure was increasing, she brought one knee up onto the bed and lowered herself forward onto her forearms.At first, Sara read Maki’s signals and stayed largely hands-off, keeping close by but not hovering. As the contractions continued, however, Maki finally asked her for some help with the pressure in her hips and lower back. It turned out that being a mastiff had certain advantages, mainly in her size: Sara’s big hands combined were almost torso-sized heating pads against the much-smaller Maki’s aching muscles, and she could easily press and knead against her hips and lower back at the same time, even as Maki wriggled and swayed her way through contractions.Jeremy had stopped by a couple of times, asked Maki how she was doing, checked on Hana’s heart, asked if Maki or Sara needed anything (which gave Maki a little more confidence that he did, indeed, want her to labor and birth her own way when he offered to not just help her, but to also help Sara after checking in with Maki), and assured them that everything was going great. He mostly stayed out of their way, saying that he could see Maki and Hana were handling everything like pros.It was a good system, and one that Maki felt satisfied by. That is, until another small wrench got thrown into her perfectly planned labor, and this time, it was something meaningful.Resting between contractions, Maki took a big drink from her water bottle, then hummed as she stretched to set it on the bedside table. “Mmh. My legs are getting tired.”Sara smiled a little bit, rubbing one big hand up and down her back soothingly as the rabbit settled back into her position. “You want me to go look for a yoga ball or a peanut ball? That way you can sit, but still be able to shift and move around.”Maki nodded and looked at Sara, her eyes softening a bit. “That actually sounds amazing, could you?”“You got it. I’ll be back in two shakes.” Sara winked, then quickly got up and headed out into the hall.Maki closed her eyes, blew out her breath and shifted her hips. Another contraction was already creeping up on her and she needed to center herself. She could hear Sara speaking with someone in the hall, then her footsteps heading off further into the ward. Jeremy’s soft footsteps crept into the room just after, and there was the noise of the rolling stool as he sat down.“Don’t let me bother you, just letting you know I’m here,” the retriever murmured.Maki nodded, holding up a thumbs up before planting her hands firmly and bowing her head forward. “Mmh.”There was so much pressure all of a sudden, very low. Lower than it had been before. It felt...weird. Uncomfortable in a new way. She couldn’t be ready to push already, could she? Slowly, she shifted her hips to the side, then let them drift back to the center before pushing them to the other side.Nibbling on her lip, she took a deep inhale through her nose, then hummed a low, intoning note on her exhale, trying to make sure her ribs were vibrating and her throat was open. She grunted as it felt like Hana stretched her legs and turned her head a little at the same time, making it feel like she was protesting the squeezing.Suddenly, there was a pop, a gush, and her thighs were wet. Warm liquid gushed from between her legs, and Maki gasped out a sharp, “Aah!” Even as the contraction grew, she cracked open one eye and tried to look down.Jeremy rose to his feet as soon as he heard her gasp, and he melted into a smile, stepping over and resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Hey, your water broke! You’re fine, just relax and let it all come right on out. I’ll clean up, that’s why these floors are tile.”“Hahhh...” Maki hissed, slowly spreading her feet apart a bit further. “Ohhh that’s so weird. That’s so...so weird.” Her back arched as she tried to lean into the pressure she’d been feeling, trying to encourage all of it to come out as she let out a deep groan and some more dribbled down her legs.“Great job, Maki. That’s just what we wanna see and hear,” Jeremy encouraged her, rubbing her shoulder.She chuckled to herself as the contraction started easing up, pulled up her gown, and bent to try to peek again, having trouble seeing past her belly. “Guess I’m really having this kit today, huh? No takebacks now?”“Yep. She’s definitely on her way,” Jeremy answered with a smile in his voice, and Maki looked up to meet his gaze with a small quirk of a smile on her own face.Maki felt a little overwhelmed at that moment. She knew labor was going to be a challenge, maybe the biggest challenge of her life so far, but it was starting to get to the point where she had to put in some real effort to get through it. Sara had rightly advised her not to get too attached to mental images of what she was “supposed” to be doing and to be ready to let her body take control, but she had been holding onto the confidence that she was supposed to handle labor a little...better than this. That she’d be stronger and tougher. Now it was about to jump up a notch.But...that was good. It meant things were happening just like they were supposed to. Labor wasn’t supposed to be easy, and she was ready to meet the challenge, especially when there couldn’t possibly be any greater reward than her kit. Best of all, it meant that no matter what, that reward was that much closer, this was ending soon, and she’d finally be holding her kit on her chest, kissing her head, sobbing those happy tears, and welcoming her into the world, just like she planned.Sara came back in the door, carrying a big yellow yoga ball (big for Maki, anyway), just as the contraction was fading. Maki looked up at her and blew out her breath, chuckling a bit as Jeremy explained, “You missed the water show. Speaking of which, I need you to come here.”Maki glanced back at him as he said that. His tone was calm, yet noticeably more direct than he had been.“Ohh, I step out of the room for one second.” Sara playfully tisked her tongue, getting the ball safely into a corner before coming over to Maki. “Congrats, Maki, honey, you’re really doing it. She’s 100% made up her mind that she’s ready to be with you on this side. Let’s step back out of the mess, okay?”“Okay, gladly.”“Yes, and about that...” Jeremy trailed off.Sara took her arm and supported the rabbit as she took a step back, being careful not to get their feet in the liquid.All three of their eyes found the puddle at the same time, and it was Maki who spoke first, just as Sara had opened her mouth to speak and Jeremy stepped away, “Wait a minute...isn’t the fluid supposed to be clear? That’s not clear.”Jeremy slipped next to them with some towels, tossing them over the spot and beginning to mop up the fluid. It became even more apparent as it soaked into the white towels that the puddle, indeed, had a distinct green tinge.“That’s...” she started to say before she remembered and her eyes went wide and her ears stood up as stiff as a board from her nerves being jolted, “i-i-is that...?”“Looks like some meconium,” Jeremy offered as he quickly cleaned the spot, sprayed some disinfectant on it, then tossed another clean towel down on the damp floor.Clutching onto Sara’s arm with both hands, Maki felt her knees go a bit weak as she stepped back in fear. Her brain kicked into overdrive as her thoughts raced. Meconium? Wasn’t that supposed to be bad? Was Hana in danger?!This couldn’t happen, not now. It couldn’t. She’d gotten to the end of her pregnancy with her fears about Hana’s safety all being mercifully unfounded. She couldn’t be in trouble now. Going into labor a week early, her regular OB not being here to deliver? Those were just inconveniences. But now, for the first time, there was a clear sign that something could be seriously wrong.The control she had found was slipping through her hands, and she looked up at Sara with wide, slightly frantic eyes and quickened breaths.Immediately sensing her anxiety, Sara got on a knee, looped a strong arm around her waist and grabbed her hand in her other, looking into Maki’s eyes. “Hey. Look at me. Deep breath, with me, right now.”Maki nodded, and the two took a deep breath in, then slowly blew it out together, lips pursed.“Good. Again.”They shared another controlled breath.Sara smiled and rubbed Maki’s hip with her hand as they reached the end of their exhales, then she spoke again. “Okay. You remember what meconium is from all your reading.”It wasn’t a question, she was saying it to reaffirm with Maki that she did her research and was going into labor prepared, all the less of the unknown to fear. Maki nodded again, her nose wiggling a little bit. “It means she had a...bowel movement,” she answered.Sara nodded too, gently guiding Maki over to the other side of the bed and never breaking eye contact as she spoke again. “Okay. So our little kit has decided that her hotel room was also a bathroom. This is a cause for concern, but not for panic.” As she helped Maki sit down on the bed, she held both her hands in her big ones, bending at the waist to look deeper into the rabbit’s eyes. “Hear me? Just concern. Not panic. I have attended plenty of births with some meconium, and in only one of those did we have to send baby for a little extra attention once they were born. M’kay?”“If I may also chime in, please,” Jeremy spoke up as he finished cleaning, getting Maki to glance at him for a moment before she kept her eyes on Sara’s but bent an ear his way, “I can second that. I see it here and there, too. It’s just like Sara said. As complications go, this is common and manageable.”Taking another deep breath and filling her chest, Maki nodded, then slowly exhaled through her nose, clinging onto Sara’s hands. “So...so what does this mean? What happens next? What’re we gonna do? Don’t sugarcoat anything, I don’t need that.”“I know you don’t.” Sara squeezed her hands. “So you’re likely gonna have to have a bit more monitoring, meaning we’re gonna want to listen to Hana’s heartbeat a little more often than we might have before, just to make sure she isn’t stressed. And then when her head comes out, we’re gonna take a tiny, tiny little tube,” Sara pitched her voice up and crinkled her muzzle, making a small smile flicker on Maki’s face, “and suction out her little snoot and mouth, to make sure she doesn’t aspirate any of that gunk. Then once she’s fully born, we’ll watch her like a hawk while you get those first snuggles, so we can make sure she’s all good. Okay?”Maki nodded, then looked over as Jeremy slipped up to Sara’s side, hand outstretched. Laying in his palm was the tubing, curled up in the sterile packaging. “See how small it is?” He smiled, his voice as soft as his gentle brown eyes.Maki leaned forward to peek at it. “...That’s super small.”“Tiny. Made for the littlest baby snoots, even baby bunnies,” Jeremy said. “We’ll use that to suction her out right when her head is born. She won’t even realize it’s happening, we’ll be that fast, and we’ll get her all clear before you pop out the rest of her.”That didn’t sound so bad. They wouldn’t have to take Hana away, or put her in an incubator, or C-section her out right now. At least, not yet, and hopefully not ever. If things went bad after all, Maki mentally reaffirmed that she would be strong for her daughter. It wasn’t actually supposed to happen, that Hana needed extra help, but if she did, that was exactly why Maki came here: So Hana could get help. She was not in danger, and everything was not going wrong.Still...“Then...just how bad does it look?” she asked both of them.“Mmm, it’s a little hard to say,” Jeremy answered. “From how much meconium was in there, between ‘that’s just a little staining’ and ‘that’s a lot,’ I’d put it somewhere in the middle of ‘that’s worth keeping an eye on.’” He looked up at Sara for her answer.“We’ll let Hana tell us how she’s doing,” Sara said, rubbing her thumbs over Maki’s knuckles, “just like she has been. From how her heart’s been sounding and how she’s moving just fine, I’d say she’s just impatient. That’s it.”Not quite what Maki wanted to hear, but what she needed to hear more was honesty, which was what she got. So, it was time for the other part of what she needed to hear.“Get the doppler,” she said...no, commanded as she yanked the front of her gown open.Jeremy nodded and stood up. “I hate to risk being the bad guy, but I’d like to put the monitors on so we can get a constant-”“Later,” she interrupted, “I can’t wait, I need to know she’s okay, now.”“Okay, you’re the boss,” Sara agreed, looking expectantly at Jeremy.Jeremy returned the tubing to a drawer in the counter and came back with the doppler. “Talk to us, little girl,” he said softly as he held the probe to her belly.As the thrumming of Hana’s heart filled the otherwise silent room, Maki’s ears twitched as she strained her hearing for the slightest difference in her kit’s heartbeat. She looked back and forth between her doula and the nurse, watching them for any sign of worry.Sara smiled and spoke up, “Sounds nice and steady to me.” Maki looked at Jeremy, who answered with a nod before Sara said, “Let’s see how she feels during a contraction.”For the first time, Maki felt impatient for the next contraction. She set a palm on top of her belly, where Hana’s heels were lightly tapping away, as her other hand fidgeted with her gown.“Please be okay,” she thought.When she felt that prickling in her hips again, she took a deep breath and got back on her feet, hands on the bed. The mastiff’s hands were on her back right away, firmly rubbing up and down as Maki started shaking her hips from side to side. Jeremy, as always, stayed quiet so Maki could focus on her breathing, her movement, and Sara as he kept to his duty of confirming the baby was doing okay.“Mmm...ahhh...” Maki moaned as the pain and pressure rose, and she arched her back into Sara’s palms. It was a little harder to focus this time. She couldn’t get over her worry that Hana might not be okay until she had them tell her so.“That’s it, you’re still on top of this. We’re right here for you and Hana,” Sara gently reminded her. If Maki could thank Sara right now for knowing exactly what was worrying her, she would.She squeezed her eyes shut and took a hissing breath through her teeth as she felt another spurt of liquid leak from her. She reflexively jerked her hips, wanting all that gross stuff out of her, which brought back the very fresh memory of her moment of panic just a couple minutes ago.“You and Hana are safe,” Sara continued, lightly kneading her small muscles. “We’re not gonna let anything happen to either of you. You just keep doin’ the hard work and you’ll have that baby before you know it.”The rabbit let out a few panting “hahhh, hahhh, hahhh” groans as the contraction peaked, but clung to Sara’s words as tightly as she clung to the bed. Labor was harder than she thought, and she couldn’t divide her attention. She needed to know what was going on, but she also needed to know her safety net was there, just like she planned.“Good, good, keep that breath flowing. Now how about a nice, rumbly ‘ohhhh?’” Sara asked, intoning the sound for Maki.Maki followed her suggestion, practically feeling her ribs vibrate as she made whatever sounds her body needed her to make. She was okay. She was in control while letting her body work. She and her body were working as a team to bring Hana to her arms.When it was done, she turned her head to look at Jeremy as she exhaled, making his ears twitch with her breath on his face. Despite the lingering soreness in her belly, hips and back, she didn’t feel the tension really leave her until she saw his smile.“She’s still doing great, Maki,” he answered her unasked question, plain and simple, which was joined by an agreeing “mm hm” from Sara.Maki took in another deep breath, then slowly let it out. “Okay. Okay. If she’s okay, I’m okay. Thank you.”“You got it. You got this,” Sara reassured her again, and Jeremy nodded as he stepped away and returned the doppler to its drawer.“And when she comes out, you can ground her right away for scaring you,” he offered.Maki laughed tiredly, shaking her head and rubbing one hand across her face. “Ugh. How dare she scare me like this.”“How dare,” Sara scolded playfully.Maki heaved another deep sigh, shifting back and forth a little bit. “Mmh. Okay. Since that was gross, can I clean myself up a little bit? A shower, or even just a towel or something?”“Absolutely, sweetheart. Want me to start you a shower?”“Yeah sure.” Maki nodded, and Sara took her by the elbow and helped her into the bathroom. After the shower was running, Maki looked up at Sara and asked, “Can you...please just step out for a minute? I, uh, I need a second to finish...recentering myself. Commune a little with Hana.”“Sure, Maki. I’ll get the ball and the bed set up for you. If you wanna kick your socks out here, go ahead. We’ll take care of ‘em.” She patted Maki’s shoulder. “I know you know to be careful, and they make it hard to slip in these showers, but if you feel the least bit wobbly, just kneel down, sit down, whatever you gotta do.”“Yeah. Thanks. Just...don’t go far,” Maki said with a smile.Once she was alone, she pulled off her now-soiled grippy socks and tossed them around the cracked-open bathroom door, then set her glasses and gown on the counter. Once she stepped in, she couldn’t help but chuckle as Hana, just like always, started squirming more at the water spraying on her belly. Any sign that Hana was fine and doing what she would normally do was more than welcome for Maki, even though her belly still felt tense and achy, and the kit’s movements didn’t help that.Whatever. She could do somersaults in there for all Maki cared. Anything to get a clear sign she was safe and healthy.Before she took the soap to clean off her dirty fur, she held her belly protectively, giving it a light squeeze as she hugged her kit from outside.“Mommy’s gonna be strong for you, so please be strong for her,” she thought, willing the message to reach her kit in a way her voice couldn’t, “and if you’re not feeling strong...just be okay. I’ll take it from there.”–While Maki took a moment for herself in the shower, Sara took a moment to help Jeremy clean up, the two of them tossing towels in the laundry bin. Sara smiled as the retriever chucked the last one in, and after she washed her hands at the sink, he took a turn to wash his hands while she moved to the bedside, propping up the pillows and moving the sheets aside before popping the ball up onto the mattress.Jeremy blinked as he shook his hands, water dripping into the sink. “Huh? On the bed?”“Mhm.” Sara nodded, bending to check that the bed wheels were locked before letting go of the ball and moving back to her spot on the window seat. “I think it’ll help her feel a little more comfortable if she can lean on it.”“Is that safe? Shouldn’t it be on the floor?”“Sure, as long as the bed is locked down and she’s got room to move. Being up on the bed to lean forward on the ball, like this?” The mastiff folded her arms and mimicked the position, resting her chin on her folded hands. “It’ll be easier on her knees if she’s on the mattress instead of the floor, plus comfort if she wants the blanket over her butt, etcetera. It might also help her feel like she can be on a bed, off the floor, and not ‘reduced to being on the floor,’ which can keep her feeling confident. Every bit of confidence can only help.”He glanced back and forth between her, the bed, and the ball as he dried his hands with a paper towel, then pulled a folded-up scrap of paper from his pocket and wrote a quick note on it. “Huh. I guess I didn’t think of that. I have them put towels or pillows or whatever on the floor so it’s easier on their knees, but...gonna need to remember that one,” he replied.She hummed as she noticed that paper had other handwritten notes on it. “You carry that around with you?”“Habit I’ve had for years. Writing’s faster than taking notes on a phone, and handwriting helps me remember. I keep tabs on things I learn on the job,” he explained as he put the scrap away and then went to pick up Maki’s patient info clipboard.“Hmhm, good for you. I appreciate a good student, and given her job, so does Maki, so keep showing you’re not just watching but learning and you just may yet get on her good side.”He grinned at her, his tail wagging a bit as he wrote on the sheets. “Speaking of, I need to shadow you when I’m done with my schooling. I think I could learn a lot from you.”“Hey, if I like your style by the time this kid comes out, you’re more than welcome.” Sara grinned back at him, and the two shared a small chuckle.It wasn’t long after that before both pairs of ears perked at Maki’s moaning beginning to echo from inside the bathroom, followed right after by Maki calling out for Sara, and Sara quickly got to her feet.Jeremy waved a hand. “Since I gotta report the meconium,” he pointed his thumb at Maki’s info, “do me a little favor and see if she’s up to putting the monitors on? I can negotiate periods of on and off if she’s iffy.”“Will do, thanks for your help.” Sara smiled a warm smile at him, and then hurried out of his sight, both of them readying themselves for what came next.–For Maki, what came next was, as predicted, contraction after contraction after contraction.The shower had been nice, but the water got overstimulating really quickly, and so, with lightly damp fur and back in her gown (this time sans grippy socks, and she declined to put on the spare pair she’d brought, saying they were starting to feel a little annoying on her feet and she wouldn’t need them unless she was going to be walking again), the laboring rabbit moved back to the bed.Sara had brought up monitoring options in the shower and had offered to keep a doppler nearby at all times to monitor Hana herself. As much as Maki appreciated the offer and trusted Sara completely with her kit’s safety, she needed Sara’s comforting, supportive touch and needed to know Sara’s focus was on her to help her through the pain, so she agreed that meant she would need a hand from the hospital to handle the Hana side of things.While constant monitoring wasn’t in her birth plan, she, Jeremy, and Sara reached a compromise that thanks to the meconium, a change of plans was needed. So, they’d monitor her for the next hour. If Hana didn’t show any signs of distress, they’d take the monitors off for a while, then alternate periods of on and off as long as the kit stayed that way.When Jeremy asked what kind of monitoring she wanted, she gave a hard no to internal monitoring, so Jeremy gave her a quick rundown of how the external monitors worked and that she was free to move around in bed, stand, or sit nearby. In fact he encouraged her to keep moving as much as she wanted since he could see it was what she needed, but walking was going to be limited to staying near the monitors. She was fine with that; her legs were tired, anyway, hence the yoga ball Sara had procured.Jeremy assisted her with fastening the stretchy belts around her belly, circular monitors pressed tightly against her skin. Now both Hana’s heartbeat and the contractions could be visualized, lines that wiggled and spiked on a monitor. He muttered an apology to Hana as the kit wiggled her feet against Maki’s belly once they were in place, saying he knew they weren’t as stylish as her mom’s gown, but they were just temporary accessories. That lightened Maki’s mood a little.As Maki gratefully climbed onto the bed, set her glasses aside, and flopped forward onto the ball Sara had brought her, she got situated just in time for a contraction to hit. She huffed, puffed, moaned, and moved with the pain and the pressure, both of which had already slightly, but still noticeably, grown. Her doula’s hands were on her back and her voice was in her ears, keeping Maki tethered to the feeling that she could be involved in her own labor while having someone there to keep her calm and focused, someone who would help her find a new way to deal with it when one method wasn’t working anymore. Her eyes squeezed shut as she worked out a new way to move with this position, soon finding out that side to side movements felt best.When it was done, she looked up at Sara’s smiling face, gave her a tired smile back, then over to Jeremy, who had quietly watched the screen. The nurse gave her a thumbs-up and said that, in his professional opinion, he could see Maki’s body was working great with how strong that contraction was and how strong he would expect them to be for a first-time mother in labor as long as Maki had been. Everything was still okay.He mixed in a compliment of how well the mother-to-be was handling contractions this strong, too, but Maki still felt a mixture of pride and apprehension when he pointed out the hill of the contraction line on the monitor. Something about seeing that peak and having a number and a visualization of how much it hurt was...upsetting. Like she couldn’t just feel it but now she could see it too. Not to mention that even though it wasn’t really getting in her way, it was still an intervention, so the first thing she did was move around and face away from the screen.Time passed, and Maki labored harder.With the sheet draped loosely over her backside and hips for a bit of added modesty, Maki leaned her folded arms on the ball and let herself rest into it, rocking and rolling her hips side to side during each contraction. Sara had been right, in all her wisdom, and it definitely helped to be able to move while still being at least somewhat reclined.Maki found herself almost falling asleep on top of the ball in between contractions. She rested her head down on her folded elbows and closed her eyes as each surge passed through, and felt her body go limp and relax. It was almost a nice feeling, if not for the steadily ramping intensity of the contractions that were getting closer and closer together, lasting longer, and peaking higher. There was also more pressure in her hips: She could feel Hana’s head pressing down, which was some encouragement that she was indeed coming but the discomfort from it was one more thing she could only endure.“Hohhh,” Maki mumbled, rocking her pelvis forward and inhaling sharply through her nose as she contracted, belly heavy against her thighs. The ball squeaked a little bit as she pressed her weight into it, but she almost didn’t even hear it.“That’s it. Nice, deep sounds. Feel your hips and your pelvis opening up along with your voice.” Sara pressed a hand to her lower back and rubbed in big, slow circles as Maki rocked back and forth.Maki inhaled deeply through her nose and pressed herself into the ball, arching her spine and then slowly straightening it out as she sunk back against her heels. Accompanying this, she let herself deeply moan, her voice rumbling in her chest and ribcage. She could feel her breath on her arms, which was a little annoying, but the vibrations of her voice seemed to help.She was also comforted by Sara’s words. Something in the back of her mind, far removed from her experience, laughed that it was almost like a permission slip. Her doula’s words gave her the signal that what she was doing was right.When the contraction loosened its grip and her muscles relaxed, Maki huffed out a deep breath with her cheeks puffed. She needed a little time before she could speak again, and when she could, she sat back off of the ball, opening her eyes and looking over at Sara. “How in the world do people voluntarily choose to do this more than once?”Sara laughed at that, rubbing her hand in a big, soothing circle on Maki’s back and then adjusting the sheet to sit better around the rabbit’s spread hips. “Y’know, you’re not the first person to ask me that question. I think once we get that kiddo in our arms, a lot of it just fades into the background. For some people. I’ve definitely had some parents look up at me with their new baby and go,” Sara turned and pointed into the air, narrowing her eyes as she gestured, “‘Never. Again.’”Maki laughed softly and leaned just a bit to grab her water bottle, taking a few big drinks and closing her eyes. She mumbled a soft noise in recognition as she swallowed, and Sara chuckled, going back to rubbing soothingly at her back.“But then, for others, they think back and say it was all worth it, and I guess...their next birth might be a little different because they know they’ve done it once. It’s almost always the first ones that are the hardest, and that’s just because our bodies are learning what to do.”Licking her lips, Maki nodded and swallowed her mouthful of water, blindly flailing the bottle over toward the table and just finding the edge. Inhaling deeply, she puffed her cheeks, bracing one hand on the ball and the other against her knee. “Mmpff. I...I really can’t wait to see her, I want this to keep going, and I know this is what I wanted...I mean, what I want,” she caught herself, “but man. This is no joke.”Nodding, Sara smoothed her hand across her forehead. “You’re right, it’s not. But lemme tell you something, you are handling this like an absolute rockstar. And you are going to continue handling it. Just listen to your body, listen to your gut, and do what you gotta do. I’ll be right here to back you up.”“Nnnuh.”That was meant to be, “yeah,” maybe, or perhaps even a “thank you,” but she was already contracting again. They were giving her less time to rest now, and with the steadily growing contraction, she couldn’t make the words come. All her focus was on the tightening, the growing of the surge, the increasing pressure. Pulling in a sharp inhale through her nose, she pulled herself up onto her knees and leaned on the ball using her elbows, nose wrinkled.“There ya go. Nice and easy,” Sara murmured, pressing her big, warm hand against her lower back and holding it there.Without even realizing it, Maki leaned back into that counterpressure, arching her hips backward into her hand and pressing her back flat. Drawing her hands into fists, she bowed her head forward and tried to focus on her breathing, keeping it deep and low, even as it shook and even as sweat dripped annoyingly down her temples.During her next rest, she looked over at Sara, sniffling. “Can you get me something to wash my face?”“Oh, of course, sweetie! Hang on a sec.” Giving her lower back an affectionate patpat, Sara shifted and scooted herself off of the bed, quickly darting into the bathroom. She returned with a washcloth soaked with cold water and helped Maki rinse off her face and smooth her fur.The exhausted rabbit was quiet for a few moments before she opened her eyes. “I think I wanna sit on the ball some...my knees are bugging me now.”“You got it, mama. Here. Sit up, and I’ll move the ball down first.” With a nod, Maki slowly sat herself up and rested back on her heels, hands smoothing her gown down and rubbing a bit at her belly as Sara moved the ball down onto the floor. With one foot, she bumped the ball to the foot of the bed, then offered both hands to Maki. “Alright, nice and slow.”Carefully, Maki shifted, unfolding her legs, then climbed off of the bed. She felt...shaky, and tired, but when she sat herself on the ball, the pressure in her hips moved. Making a soft noise, she braced one hand on the bed and began to gently bounce.Sara smiled in approval and perched on the edge of the bed, watching her with soft eyes. “How’s that feel?”“Better...feels good on my hips.”“That’s what the ball is for, darlin’. Helps widen those hips up and bring that sweet baby down and into the right place.”“Mmh.” Nodding, Maki turned to face the foot of the bed, then slumped forward and folded her arms, nuzzling her nose into her elbow. Another contraction was already needling at her spine, but being here and sitting on the ball was something different, a change of scenery, a feeling that she was trying new things when old things didn’t work anymore, and it was enough to help her feel like she could handle this one.As the surge rolled over and through her, she let out a soft but throaty moan, beginning to roll her hips in big, wide circles. Sara stroked her cheek along with her back, and she leaned her head into her soft palm.Gravity tugged on her belly and her hips, but instead of being irritating it felt...normal. It felt like they were being pulled along with the force of the contraction, and somehow Maki didn’t mind feeling heavier. She rocked and swayed and ground her hips against the ball, her fuzzy mind wandering and latching onto tiny, flitting thoughts as she worked her way through the surge. Heavy was good. Heavy meant Hana was dropping lower and lower, just like she should be. And the lower Hana got, the faster Maki would dilate. It wasn’t just pain; more importantly, it was progress.But good grief, progress was painful.When it was over, she heaved a huge, shaky sigh, and Sara stroked her forehead with the same cool cloth she had before, which she gratefully leaned into. “Good. Nice work, Maki.”“Ball helps. A lot,” she mumbled before resting her head again, and she heard the positive “mm hm” from her friend.After a moment’s rest, though, face still buried in her elbow, a question formed, one of the thoughts she’d grappled with in the surge of the contraction. Something that didn’t exactly...scare her but worried her.Looking up at Sara, she sniffled, her nose wiggling a little. “Sara? You’ve been to tons of births in hospitals. I gotta know...do you know if they’re going to take her away from me when she’s born? Because of the meconium?”Sara blinked, then melted into a soft, reassuring smile, cupping Maki’s cheek in her hand before tossing the washcloth over and into the hamper. “Y’know, I’m not sure what they’re gonna want to do. It depends on a few things when she heads out, but I imagine even if they do take her, it’ll only be a bit. That might be a better question for Jeremy, ‘cause this is his home turf.”Maki nodded and shifted a bit, sitting back upright on the ball and sniffling again as she fanned her face with one hand. “I just...I would really like to be able to have that good...skin-to-skin time with her, you know? It’s important.” She looked up at Sara. “Every time I thought about the end of my birth, when she was finally here, it was with her in my arms. Feeling her body against mine. Seeing her face. Hearing her crying. Her fingers wrapping around mine. Knowing...she’s really here. My...little kit,” she said, biting her lip to try to stop herself from crying, “and yeah, I learned about C-sections and all that, so I’d be ready to let her get help if she needs help I can’t give. It’s just, that first moment...” she had to take a few deep breaths to steady herself before ending with, “you know?”“Oh, I do, Maki, I do. It absolutely is what you both need most. You two need each other...here, let me get your eyes,” Sara reached up to gingerly rub her thumb over Maki’s tearing-up eyes, “and I don’t think a little bit of pesky meconium is gonna take that away from you. We can ask Jeremy next time he pops in, okay?”“Okay.” Nodding again, Maki rested her elbows back on the bed and heaved a big sigh. “...An epidural is sure sounding real good right about now.”Sara chuckled softly, then got up off the bed, repositioned herself to kneel behind Maki, and rested her hands on Maki’s hips, massaging a bit with her thumbs. “Oh, I bet it does. You’ve been doing a hell of a lot of good work here.”“Mmh.” Maki turned and buried her face into the crook of her elbow, hauling in a big breath as another contraction began to kick her in the small of her back. Damn it, even the start of her contractions was getting harder to deal with. She used to feel them before they really started, that prickling, squeezing tightness before the full-on pain hit, so she could greet them with a cleansing breath, just like she’d practiced so many times. Now they didn’t gear up, they just...hit.With a grumble, she crinkled her nose, then groaned as she exhaled, slowly rocking herself forward into the bed and then slowly back into and against the ball. Sara increased her pressure on her hips, and Maki gave a soft grunt in happy acknowledgement.Maki knew she was anything but naive. She went into this as prepared as she could be. She accepted that natural childbirth could well be the hardest thing she’d ever done and that she’d never done anything like it. But even then, this was...far, far more work than she thought it would have been. She had done her due diligence, read every book, tried to prepare herself for what was coming. And still, she was tired. Physically, sure, but also mentally, what with all the wrenches being thrown at her and at her plan.Pressing herself harder into the ball, Maki arched her back hard, then slowly blew out her breath, lips pursed, and tried to focus on her hips opening, her baby moving slowly down, all those images and mantras she’d been taught and rehearsed.It helped, at least until the contraction peaked. Then she found herself slamming one hand down onto the bed and all but growling, the pressure and intensity of the surge almost overwhelming her, followed by her first shouted “Ow!” when Hana gave a hard kick right at that moment.That voice in the back of her mind told her to look at the monitor screen and see if her contractions were actually getting stronger and she wasn’t just being weak. The lines and numbers on the screen were still within the limit of what she could make out without her glasses, and even then, she couldn’t read the exact numbers or how high the line was spiking. But she could see enough to make her instantly squeeze her eyes shut. They really were getting worse (and at that moment, she couldn’t make herself think they were just “getting stronger,” no, they were getting worse), and with how high the line on the graph could go, she was getting worried if she could actually handle it if they got so strong that the line went that high.Sara was talking to her. Some part of her fuzzy, stressed mind was picking up the words. She tried hard to pick up everything, she knew she needed to calm down and hear it. Sara was speaking soothingly about breathing through the wave, about how it would be more intense with her water broken, about how she was definitely in active labor now and things were progressing naturally just like Maki planned and progress meant Hana was that much closer, about how she was doing such a good job...But none of it really helped this time.She was in pain. She was tired. She needed a break. She just needed a break.–When Jeremy next popped in to see them, Maki, mercifully, was between contractions. Still bouncing on the ball, she gave the nurse a small, weak smile and a hand wave when he came into the room. A small bottle of lavender oil was open nearby, Maki’s favorite relaxing scent, reminding her of the lavender baths she loved to take and giving her one more thing to focus on besides the pain...or at least help her relax between contractions. Sara gave him a smile and nod, keeping her hands on Maki’s hips.“Hey there, mama,” he calmly greeted her before sniffing the air, “ahh, lavender, huh? That’s a classic, probably my favorite smell when patients try aromatherapy, good choice,” he said with a wink and a thumbs-up. “How’s it going in here?”“It’s...it’s going,” Maki answered honestly, with a small sigh, and Jeremy chuckled, sitting down on the rolly stool and pulling himself up to the side of the bed. “Things are really picking up. A lot.”“Glad to hear an honest answer. Sounds to me like there’s some good work going on in here,” he said as he rolled over to the monitor screen. “Mind if I hang out a little bit? I’ll just letcha do your thing if you don’t need me for anything,” he picked up the heart rate and contraction printout, glancing back and forth between different parts, “I’m mostly just here to check how Hana and the contractions are doing.”“Nah, it’s fine. I actually had a question for you.” Maki smiled a little as she adjusted her position on the ball a bit.Jeremy’s ears perked, and he tilted his head to the side a bit as he looked back at her. “Mm? What’s up?”Maki started to speak, but papped her hand down onto the ball by her hip with a dull thoonk sound instead, shutting her eyes, wrinkling up her nose and arching her back. “Mmn. One sec. Hang on.” Voice strained, she bowed her head and let out a soft moan.Then there was a new feeling she didn’t expect, and for once, this new and unexpected feeling was something nice. Jeremy immediately reached out to rest his hand over top of hers that was left on the bed. It was so unexpected, in fact, that even through the contraction, her eyes opened to see it for herself. “I’m on your schedule, you got it. Deep breath,” he said softly.Sara caught his glance and gave him an approving nod, winking as she stood and rubbed her hand slowly and firmly across Maki’s lower back.The surge had almost taken her by surprise. She was also surprised to feel Jeremy’s hand on hers, but it was certainly a welcome feeling. Hauling in a deep breath, she let her eyes fall closed and rested her head in the crook of her arms, rocking herself forward and then slowly back into her heels as the contraction crested.“Ouch.” That was all that was in her mind, her already fuzzy and exhausted brain was just repeating...ouch. She could hardly concentrate. Crinkling her nose up and baring her teeth a little, she forced herself to haul in a huge breath, lungs burning. The sweat was dripping down her face again, but there was nothing she could do about it except wait it out.Without Maki even really thinking, her hand twitched, and she turned it around to grasp Jeremy’s hand fully. She gripped onto it like it could keep her grounded as she pulled herself forward into the bed, then rocked back again, hard, into Sara’s pressing hands.Over the tightness, the pressure, the intensity of the contraction, she felt Jeremy’s other hand slip onto hers, holding her hand between both of his, and she grabbed onto Jeremy’s voice, as warm, gentle, and steady as his hands, bubbling in over the fog. “That’s it, we’ve got ya. Both of us. Nice and easy. You’re doing incredibly, Maki.”This was the first time he’d really comforted her during a contraction with his touch or voice, let alone both; other than a little bit when her water broke, he’d always stayed out of the way between her and Sara, like he said he would...and that one time, Sara wasn’t even there for him to risk getting in her way. She hadn’t expected he would have much support to offer, not that she ever asked him for it. He did his job well enough, and she liked him, but that’s what Sara was for, not him.But now, it wasn’t so much what he was saying, really. It was that there wasn’t just somebody there, both literally behind her and figuratively. There were people, not just a person, here for them. Here for her and for her baby, ready to help them and make sure they were going to come out of the other side of this safe and healthy.That alone was enough to give her strength.Puffing her cheeks, she let out all her air in a huge, slow blow, and she could all but feel Jeremy’s sideways smile. “That’s the way, just like blowing out candles. You’re a rockstar.”When the contraction finally drifted off and her body relaxed, she opened her eyes and lifted her head, giving Jeremy her own slightly sideways smile. “...Sorry for grabbing you like that with no warning. Hope I didn’t break your fingers,” she said as she wiped her sweaty face on her arm.Jeremy laughed, giving their clasped hands a little shake. “Hey, anytime I’m here, just ask and you got ‘em. These hands,” he let one of his hands release hers and held it up, fingers wiggling, “were sworn to your service the moment you stepped into this room. Break ‘em if you wanna, you wouldn’t be the first laboring mama to try. We’re in a great place for that, plus RNs have pretty good insurance.” He winked at her, and she couldn’t help but giggle a little at both the joke and the slightly overdramatic promise, even if he was being honest.Sara gave her backside a patpat before pulling away. “Lemme go get another washcloth for your face, honey.”The retriever stood up, his hand still held by Maki’s. “No, you stay with her, I’ll get it for you and be right back.”“No, let her go,” Maki said, “I gotta talk to you.”Jeremy looked at her, then up at Sara. The dogs shared a nod as he sat back down and Sara stepped away.“Thanks.” Maki slowly let go of Jeremy’s hand and straightened up a bit, bracing her hands on the bed and sitting up higher. “Mm. M’kay. I don’t have much time, so lemme ask you this before I get...rudely interrupted again.” She took a deep breath to finish steadying herself before saying, confidently and firmly, “I want to know if you’re gonna have to take Hana away from me when she’s born. I want to be sure that I’m able to get some good skin-to-skin time with her. It’s...really important to me, and if I can’t, I want to...I have to know now.” She looked him in the eyes with the focused, questioning gaze she gave anyone to show them she needed a serious answer, but she was even more focused now with her baby’s health on the line.Jeremy immediately nodded, resting his returned hands in his lap. “I totally understand! We will want to take her to get her looked at, of course, due to the meconium present. But that won’t be until after she’s had some good cuddle time with you first, and after we get her cord cut and stuff. The main idea is to get her quickly suctioned out as soon as her head comes out, then when she’s fully born, we’ll make sure she’s crying. That’s all. If anything else happens, we’ll take it as it comes.”So far so good, but her gaze didn’t waver as Sara returned to the bedside. “Have you seen babies need more help because of meconium?” she asked in that same tone, taking the washcloth but not letting her eyes leave his as she dabbed at her face, then plopped the washcloth on the back of her neck.The smile that had been on Jeremy’s face faded a bit as she held his gaze. “Yes, I have,” he answered.“Then what were those ‘if anything else happens’ times?”The retriever seemed to get the message of how serious the rabbit was and looked at Maki with an equally serious, but calm, face. “If Hana’s having a hard time breathing after she’s born, we’ll be ready on the spot. What exactly we do will be up to the OB, not me, and will depend on Hana too, but assuming she needs help, in my experience?”“Yes.”“We’ll put a slightly bigger, stronger tube down her throat to make sure we’ve gotten as much meconium out as possible, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll give her an oxygen mask to give her the really good air right to her lungs.”The thought of seeing those things done to Hana made Maki suppress a wince, but what was worse was the fear that she couldn’t see it. “And...can you do that here? With me?” She emphasized her last question, leaning in to look deeper in his eyes, “Where I can be with her?”He nodded. “Yes.”She nodded back. “And...if you have to take her somewhere?” she asked.“If you mean if things get worse, either then or later...I’ve seen you came prepared. You know what the neonatal intensive care unit is, right?”The mental image of Hana in that place made Maki shiver, but she gave herself a swift mental correction that it was a place for Hana to get help so something worse didn’t happen. “Yeah.”“If she has to go there,” he leaned in a bit to emphasize, “and that’s a big ‘if,’” he leaned back, “I’m making sure you can be there with her as long as possible.”Good. Jeremy understood that Maki didn’t need an upbeat, cheerful answer: She needed to see he knew when to be completely serious. And that, equally important, he wouldn’t lie. She was good at spotting liars, and she read nothing but honesty from him. He wasn’t just saying that because it was what the hospital wanted him to say, either: It was because she wanted answers, so he gave them.Sara, who had been quiet and let Jeremy talk, leaned down and set her hands on Maki’s shoulders. “That all sounds about right to me, Maki. Sounds like they’re going to keep to your wishes of doing whatever’s needed, and only whatever’s needed,” she agreed.Relieved, Maki nodded too. “Okay. Okay, ‘cause...” she thought for a second, then sighed, “if she needs help, I’m counting on you to help her. But I just wanna hold her. I don’t want her taken from me unless she’s in real distress, y’know? I was just telling Sara that I...I need to be with her. I’ve waited so long, and the thought of seeing, hearing, feeling her...” her expression softened again as she relaxed, “knowing her heart’s beating against mine...”Jeremy smiled and reached over, patting her upper arm. “I wouldn’t dream of taking her from her mother unless it was absolutely necessary. I promise. And even then, if something goes sideways, I will inform you what’s happening as it’s happening, 100%. I’m here for both this baby and for you.” He nodded again. “Just like your plan said: ‘Wants baby placed on chest immediately after birth,’ and, ‘Wants to catch baby if possible and feeling up to it.’ We can still do those things; we just might need to add a step or two before or after them. Whatever Hana needs, she’ll get, and one thing both of you are gonna need, no matter what, is to stay together, for both of you to know the other’s right there with her and everything’s going to be okay,” he finished, looking into her eyes.Maki smiled with relief. She had to admit he was good. He may not be Sara, but he had more to offer than she gave him credit for, and she was right to give him a chance. “Awesome. Okay. Okay, I can deal with that.”“Just remember that, Maki,” Sara added. “Hana’s priority number one for everyone in this room.” Maki finally broke eye contact with Jeremy and looked back and up at her. “But you’re not just priority number two. You’re priority one-point-one. This is about you, too.”“We got this. You got this,” Jeremy nodded, and Sara did too, sitting back down on the edge of the bed.“Team Hana, kicking butts and taking names,” the midwife said with a fist pump.Maki laughed, leaning one elbow on the bed and sliding her other hand down her belly to press on her pubic mound a bit. “‘Team Hana.’ I like the sound of that. We need jackets.”“I can get some made. I know a guy,” Jeremy answered seriously, then grinned, his tail wagging.Maki chuckled and shook her head. “Okay. That’s what I needed to know. Thanks.”“Sure thing.” He gave her a nod and a thumbs-up, then leaned back. “But for now, anything else I can do for you?”She opened her mouth to speak before she remembered something. “Don’t you have to check my dilation? You haven’t checked me since I showed up.”Jeremy quirked his lips. “I mean, if you want to, I can, but I don’t see a huge need. Just listening to how much your sounds and movements have changed, I wouldn’t need the monitors to know you’ve been in active labor for a while,” he motioned with his head towards the monitor screen, “and speaking of, I can see from your contraction patterns things are going at a good pace. I have another stop I gotta make after I head out of here, but on my way back, I can probably stop by long enough that we can take the belts off for a while. You and Hana are both making progress and doing great.”She blinked, then grinned. “Heh. I thought you’d be asking to check me every time you came in. Are you really following policy?”“Ayup,” he answered, grinning back. “There are a few things I have to do, no questions asked, but those are mostly ‘if they come up’ or ‘in an emergency’ type things, so needless to say, I’d rather they didn’t. And, y’know, you did say in your plan,” he pointed with his thumb towards the folder still hanging at the foot of her bed, “you didn’t want interventions, which I assume means minimal checks, and like I said, I can tell you’re laboring like a pro.”“I darn well better be,” she answered, making all three of them laugh.“I’ll worry about policy; you just have that kit. Believe me, I know the procedures inside out of what I have to do and what I can do,” he winked at her, “and trust me when I say I know negotiating with a woman in labor is ill-advised,” he paused for them to laugh again, “but I’m the brave, foolish soul who signed on to do it. But...short of it is,” he leaned in to pat her shoulder, saying more calmly, “you’re the woman in labor, you want to have this baby on your terms, and you can always say, ‘No.’”That gave Maki some more of her spirit back, feeling like things were still under control, and the one in control was her.He glanced down at her belly. “But, yeah, if you wanna know how far you are, I can check you.”Maki’s grin widened a little too. He might actually be for real. “Thanks, but no.”Sara offered, “Or, he could check you, give me the number, and just tell you if you’re making progress. That might be great, so you don’t fret over numbers and where you’re ‘supposed’ to be, you know things are going just like they should be.”Wow...it felt...amazingly good in this break between contractions to be between two people who were both putting hers and her baby’s needs first. She actually hadn’t even thought about her pain and fatigue for a few shining moments...but speaking of which...“Maybe later, I don’t wanna be touched there right now, but there’s one other thing you can do for me now,” she said, glancing at the monitor. Her internal clock was ringing; she was due for another contraction any second. When he nodded and leaned in expectantly, she licked her lips as she said (or more like admitted), “Could you start an IV on me?”He cocked an eyebrow, and Sara also sounded surprised. “Hm?” the larger dog hummed. “What for, honey?”“Yeah, usually bringing up IVs is my line,” Jeremy said. “You know you can drink all you want.”She looked away, her ears flopping back against her head. “I’m not at the point of tapping out yet,” then she looked over her shoulder at Sara, pointing at her, “really, I’m not! I haven’t said the words yet! I’m going natural unless I say it!”Sara raided a hand to show she wasn’t going to say anything else, nodding.The rabbit looked back at Jeremy. “But I...just need to know there’s less time to wait if I need an epidural,” she explained.He nodded. “Ahaaa. Maki, I gotta say, I wish all patients were as prepared as you. You wouldn’t believe how many of them think, ‘okay, I can get an epidural at the snap of the fingers, no matter what,’ and don’t know what’s gotta be done first...or, actually, with how prepared you are, I think you would believe it,” he answered with a smile that she returned. “Just keep in mind, it is another intervention even if it never goes further. I just wanna respect your birth plan, that’s all.”“Yeah. I know. But I’m sure.”“Okay, you’re sure.”“Thanks, and...hahh...” Right on time, her hand went to her belly, then she huffed as she readied herself for the next prickling contraction. She wanted to say that one last thing he could do was just hold her hand again as long as he could, but she’d rather show than tell.This time, as it began to swell, she reached out for Jeremy’s hand, and he immediately took it, scooting closer and giving her a reassuring squeeze. “You got it. Nice and super easy, big, big deep breaths.”She arched her back to press herself against Sara’s hands, closing her eyes and bowing her head. With Jeremy’s encouragement, she forced herself to suck in a lungful of air, but for the bit of relief it gave her, it was like blowing air on a furnace. Her breaths came faster and shorter, with pained grunts mixed in with them, and she tightened her grip on Jeremy’s fingers.Like before, the nurse clasped her hand between his, and Sara leaned down and said firmly but gently, “Come on, Maki, gimme a deep breath. Let’s get all that oxygen flowing through your system and getting to Hana.”She knew she needed to be strong for Hana, but just keeping her air circulating was getting hard. A fleeting thought crossed her mind about asking for gas and air: Even if it ended up doing nothing for the pain, maybe it would help her focus her breathing. Thinking about her kit counting on her in the meanwhile motivated her to push herself harder, and she was able to take the deep breaths they both needed, though her exhales were not only steady, loud moans, but even her inhales were louder than before. Her free hand held her belly for a moment as the contraction strengthened before she reached out and held Jeremy’s hand with both of hers, pulling them up towards her face as she tried to keep her breathing steady.He moved even closer, his shoulder almost against hers as he held both her hands back. “We gotcha, Maki, and you got this. You and Hana are doing great,” he said in that soft but confident voice she’d only just heard him use these last couple of contractions, different from his usual upbeat and friendly approach or the direct and serious tone they were just sharing, but one thing was constant: He was supportive.“That’s right, Maki,” Sara agreed as she pressed her palms harder on Maki’s back and ran them up and down the tensing muscles, “you know what to do. You’re ready for this.”As the contraction tightened further towards its peak, she rocked her hips back to Sara and forward to the bed in rhythmic waves. Her nose wrinkled, her arms tensed to the point that her and Jeremy’s hands were pressed against her forehead, and her breaths turned to a series of shouts as much as moans.“Yeah, that’s it, Maki, let it out!” Sara cheered her on over her shouting as she kept rubbing her back. “Get loud! Show this whole ‘labor’ thing you’re not gonna just shut up and take it!”“You got it!” Jeremy agreed. “Don’t hold anything back! Labor’s not gonna push you around! Just relax your arms, squeeze my hands, move your hips, and keep up that breathing!”“I’m trying!” Maki wanted to yell at them, but she couldn’t make the words come out, not through the peak of a contraction. She wasn’t just “getting loud” to vent, she was doing it because she couldn’t help it. Again, she knew that was going to happen: She never dreamed she’d just be able to get through labor with moans and breathing. She’d seen tons of birth videos (not the Hollywood kind, the real kind) and would be glad to know she was doing the right thing by getting loud when she had to get loud if it meant she’d have the natural birth she wanted, just like those moms did.But she didn’t know it’d be this hard, so hard that she had her wonderful midwife with her, who she wanted there specifically to help her get through this, but she was still reaching out for more help.As the contraction slowly started to ease up, her blurry mind started to clear and she could listen to more of Sara and Jeremy’s voices, along with what few words and images she could still visualize (even fleetingly). She turned her head to glance at the clock on the wall, feeling a pang of worry in her heart when she saw the time. It was still hard to think, but she knew that while “average length of first-time labor” covered a wide range, with how much she’d guessed things were progressing, she was indeed falling somewhere in that range.Before she’d gone into labor, she’d have been grateful for things to be “average” because it meant nothing was going wrong and her kit was going to safely come into the world. Not anymore. Even the meconium, which was decidedly not average, wasn’t making labor harder, not when she now completely trusted Sara, Jeremy, and the OB to be ready to handle so she could focus on getting Hana here. She came into this wanting many things, but one of them was wanting to prove that her confidence was earned and that she was better than “average.” It would take one of those 24-hour labors from Hell to break her!Now, having seen how hard labor could be for herself and with how far she might have to go, she wasn’t so sure.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When the latest contraction rolled through her and finally finished, Maki gave a few panting breaths, then slowly lifted her head, bracing her hands against the bed and pushing herself slowly upright. She held onto the bed, sheets pulled into her fists, and turned to look at Sara.“...Fuck.”Sara blinked in surprise. That was the first time Maki had ever sworn around her; she’d never even heard Maki say so much as “damn.” Then she broke into a warm smile, rubbing her hand slowly across her lower back. “Yep. Yep, I think that about says it all. That was rougher, wasn’t it? Do you want me to see if I can get you some gas and air, or-”“No, I want an epidural,” Maki cut her off firmly.Sara nodded, then moved her hand to her upper arm. “I know it feels like you’re at your limit. But you’re gonna break through it again and do this, just like you planned. This is your one chance to have a natural birth and you’re gonna rock it,” she said gently.The rabbit just lowered her eyebrows at Sara as she caught her breath. This wasn’t the first, second, or even third time she’d commented on wanting an epidural, and each time before, Sara had coaxed her back into staying natural. Maki would have been madder, except those encouragements, those affirmations, they were exactly what Maki asked her to do. Bless her endlessly caring heart, Sara had been reading Maki’s pain and discomfort so well.“Do you wanna try something else first, sweetheart? We don’t have to jump right to an epidural. If you really want some pain meds, how about we add a little something to your IV? That’ll take the edge off,” she offered. “There’s plenty of other pain management things we can-”“Sara, I mean it, I don’t want to feel this at all anymore. I’m done. I’m tired, I hurt, I...it’s too much. I’m done.” Maki swiped the back of one hand across her sweaty face.The midwife smiled wider, taking the nearby washcloth to help Maki wipe her face. “Aha! Mama, if you’re tired, I know just the thing! I’ll get Jeremy in here, we can get your IV out and I’ll run you a nice, warm bath. Water’ll be perfect to let you relax and get your wind back.” She then reached for the lavender oil bottle nearby and held it up for her. “We’ll add a tiny bit to the water, and you’ll get your favorite lavender oil bath, right here at the-”Maki shook her head firmly and waved a hand in the air, then clenched it into a fist and papped it back down onto the ball by her hip, making it make another hollow ‘thoonk’ing noise to punctuate each of her words.
Thoonk
“Banana.”
Thoonk
“Fucking.”
Thoonk
“Tree.”She lifted her eyes to Sara’s to make sure she wouldn’t have to say it louder, but bless her, the mastiff was already up and moving, reaching over to hit the nurse call button before cracking her knuckles and placing her own hand on the bed next to Maki’s. “Alright then, mama! Next step: I’ll get Jeremy, and he’ll get this started right-the-heck now, okay? We’ll chuck this guy in the corner once they get here with the good drugs, but you can keep using him for now, yeah?”Maki nodded, her lower lip trembling a bit. Why was she tearing up?She knew why. She just couldn’t say it, not even to Sara. She knew that if she did, she would cry. And the next time she wanted to cry today was from joy when Hana was here with her, not from shame that she couldn’t do it.Sara seemed to immediately notice, and she melted a bit as she knelt down, held Maki’s hands, leaned in, and booped noses with her patient, speaking in a direct, but soft and soothing, voice, “Hey. Maki. It’s okay. It’s really hard, having a baby, it’s one of the hardest things you can do, and you’re doing it. Accepting help is not against the rules. This is your show, and you used the magic words. Okay?”Swallowing hard, Maki nodded, then smiled tiredly and wiped her eyes. “...Thanks, Sara.”“I gotcha. If you’re gonna be okay between contractions, I’m gonna stand guard at the door and grab Jeremy next time I see him, okay?”“Okay.”As Sara bustled away to watch for their nurse, Maki let herself take in a deep, slow breath...and blew it out, closing her eyes and resting her head back down onto the soft, rumpled sheets. They smelled like a clean, gentle detergent and bleach, and it was strangely comforting. After a couple of deep breaths, she slid one hand down to cup her belly.She was doing it, she was still here, taking part in the experience. This was not a failure, or the option wouldn’t even be offered and given to many many parents across the globe.“It’s okay,” she whispered to herself, inhaling again deeply, “it’s okay. I’m gonna meet you soon, Hana. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” Her hand rubbed a soft circle on the lower curve of her belly when she felt Hana squirm a little, a gentle sign of love not just to her kit resting inside but to herself.–When Jeremy next came into the room, Maki was growling her way through the tail end of another contraction, Sara positioned behind her squeezing on her hips. He remained respectfully quiet until Maki relaxed, slapping the ball with her hand and slumping down against it with her head bowed into her arm. Sara murmured a few words of praise as she slid her hands soothingly up and down the exhausted rabbit’s back.“Hi, Maki,” he greeted her, “you rang?”Sara answered for Maki while she breathed heavily, “Yep, Maki’s ready for an epidural.”“You sure? You’ve been doing great work in here,” he said.“Mm hm. She wants the good stuff,” the midwife answered simply.“So...I can get anesthesiology down here pretty quickly, unless there’s something you wanna try first? You just came in really well prepared, and I can see how much you want this. We’ve got gas and air, we have combs you can squeeze, those can work really well...”Maki took one more deep breath.“Ooh, or we could run you...a...bath...”The words died in his throat as Maki exhaled, sounding more like she was trying to breathe fire than let her breath out as her head snapped up to look at him. If looks could kill, he would need to be rolled to a different wing of the hospital.“She’s very sure, Jeremy,” Sara confirmed as she, too, looked up at Jeremy, “now get that started.” She might not have been in labor, but her voice carried an unmistakable mix of “I’m not asking” and “I’m not going to say it nicely again.”The retriever quickly held up his hands in a surrender. “Yep. You got it. Absolutely. Policy says I have to give you a quick exam first, make sure we’re not too late for an epidural. One of those ‘I really have to do this’ times. You just might be farther in than you think, too.”With a deep sigh, Maki nodded, relaxing and sitting fully up. “Fine...”The three worked together to get her situated, taking Maki by the elbows to help her get onto the bed and relax back against the pillows again. Humming a half-groan as she laid back, Maki grabbed for her water and took a huge drink as the two bustled around, Sara fixing sheets and Jeremy pulling on gloves.“Mm.” Maki set down her water bottle and looked at Sara, reaching out for her hand. “If I’m, like...at a 5 or something, maybe 4 and a half, I’ll power through it. If I’m close. But any less than that, if I’m not close, I want the epidural.”Sara nodded as she grabbed her hand, giving her a small squeeze. “Sounds like a perfect deal to me.”With gloved hands, Jeremy sat by the head of the bed, then nodded at Maki. “Whenever you’re ready, just relax your knees to either side, nice and open.”Maki laid her head back on the pillows as she opened her knees, her other hand coming to rest on the bed beside her and gripping onto the sheets. Jeremy leaned close as he moved the bottom of her gown aside and carefully inserted a finger, his other hand coming to rest near her pubic mound.“Nice work, Maki. You’re sitting at about a 3 right now, about halfway.”“Fuuuck!” she groaned. In her head, she added, “That’s fucking it?!” She crinkled her nose and looked up at Sara.Sara smiled a bit and gave her a wink. “You’re doing amazing. Looks like you’re gonna get the good stuff.”“Mmh. Okay.” She gritted her jaw, trying not to give voice to the self-defeating thoughts going through her head.Nodding, Jeremy returned the gown to cover Maki’s privates and removed his gloves, giving both the ladies a small smile as he stepped back to throw them away. “All right, so, here’s the plan,” he looked at the numbers on her IV stand’s display, “it’s gonna take about 20 minutes for your IV to be done. I’m gonna call anesthesiology and go help get things ready. If things aren’t busy, I can get someone here right at that time and we’ll getcha taken care of. 20 minutes, best I can do, and if I can make that happen, I will.”Sara nodded, looking down at Maki. “You know how the procedure goes: About 10-ish minutes to do it, then another 10, 15-ish minutes for the feel-good juice to kick in.” She rubbed Maki’s hand with her thumb and patted her shoulder. “Just one more hour, then you’re golden.”Jeremy clapped his hands. “Yup. Can you work with that?”She nodded, steeling her resolve. Just one more hour. She could do that.“And, just throwing it out there in the meantime, but you might be halfway dilated but that doesn’t mean you’re halfway done,” he added. “Dilation’s usually slower at the beginning, and you’re really not progressing slowly as far as I’m concerned. When your labor picks up more, you’ll probably dilate fast-”

Maki rolled her eyes hard, cutting him off with a mixed grunt and sigh. Sara opened her mouth to speak, but she too was cut off when Maki beckoned him to come closer.

“Or...never mind, I won’t mention-”

She shook her head and beckoned him again, scowling at him. He got the message that he wasn’t getting out of this, and leaned in.

In Maki’s career, she’d spent a lot of time being very direct and very clear with people, whether they were much younger than her or not. It wasn’t always to reprimand them, either: It was one of the best parts of her job when she could praise and reinforce good behavior. This was not one of those happy times, and maybe she was letting her labor brain bleed into it, but during this increasingly short time she could think and speak clearly, she needed to let this out.

“Listen, Jeremy,” she started, “you’re right about me. I did a ton of research on how I wanted to give birth. That included reading birth stories, watching birth videos, and talking to the few people I know who’ve given birth and would talk to me about this. In fact, that’s how I came to meet Sara.”

“Yeah?” he asked, keeping a calm exterior whether or not he was nervous, to his credit.

“I saw that some hospitals had good staff who did what they had to, which, good, that’s what they’re there for, and they did it while treating their patients like people, not problems, and respecting their wishes. Others totally didn’t and had terrible doctors and nurses who made things worse or talked them into interventions that were convenient for them but not really needed.”

He glanced back and forth between Maki and Sara. “And...which am I?”

“We’re getting to that. I wanted Sara here for a few big reasons. A couple of them are obvious. One you might not expect is that I needed her to protect me and Hana if I got the bad ones, to make sure the hospital didn’t push things on us that we don’t need and I don’t want.” She made herself smile a little. “That includes an epidural if the hospital said I should get one, not if I said so.”

“Understandable,” he agreed.

“You’ve actually been one of the good ones, even great ones. You’ve gained some of my trust, more than when I got here, but you’ve been respectful, supportive, and even caring.” She smiled a little wider. “That last part’s important, ‘cause I get the feeling you don’t just care because it’s your job, you care because you actually care.”

He smiled back. “Thank you.”

Both their smiles were wiped off their faces when she took a handful of his scrub top in her fist. “But I said the safety words. I’m done.” She emphasized every syllable of her last statement. “Get. The. E-pi-dur-al.”

She’d seen this kind of exchange hammed up in corny TV shows and movies throughout her life. Not that she found it funny during the first hundred repetitions, but it was way into the negative levels of funny when the woman in labor was her.

With the response she got from Jeremy, he felt the same way. “Yes, ma’am. Couldn’t be clearer. Just please let me go and I’ll do my little check on Hana’s heart and be on my way.”

She gave him a razor-sharp, “Thank you,” before unclenching her hand.

After he gave them a quick smile and nod before going to the supply drawers, Maki felt those self-defeating thoughts coming back to her, which she’d ignored for a moment but now that she’d given her commitment to the hospital as well as Sara, they were weighing on her again. Her brow furrowed as she tried not to let them get the better of her.

She couldn’t.

“After all that practice,” she said more to herself than anyone else, getting both the mastiff and retriever’s eyes on her again as she stared down at her belly like it had fought her and won, “those classes, that reading, that time, the years of yoga breathing experience...”

“Maki, sweetheart,” Sara spoke up.

“My own can-do spirit...and even having a doula, a midwife, as good as you,” she squeezed Sara’s hand, “Sara, you are an absolute saint, I’d have cracked hours ago if it weren’t for you...”

“Hey, now, that’s not fair to yourself,” the other woman said more firmly as Jeremy returned to her side with the doppler in hand, “and don’t-”

“I couldn’t do it.” She bowed her head a little as she shut her eyes, letting a pair of tears roll down her cheeks. “The best I could do is...half-ass it.”

The next thing she knew, Sara had leaned down and put a big arm around her shoulders again to hug her while squeezing her hand.

And, while Maki couldn’t see it, Sara would later tell her, after Jeremy left, that before the doula held her close, he’d reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder, stopping himself and pulling his hand back (with some reluctance) when Sara moved first.

“Maki, you look at me.” The rabbit’s eyes stayed shut. “Maki, you have no reason to be so shamefaced that you can’t look me in the eyes. Remember one of the first things I ever said to you? I’m here for you, just like I was then. Now, look at me.”

Swallowing, Maki did as she said and met Sara’s gaze. She expected to be too afraid to look at her, having formed such a good relationship with her and being so confident that she’d done the right thing by wanting Sara to guide her through the rigors of childbirth, only to let her down along with herself. But Sara’s eyes, looking deeply into hers with a gentle but unwavering stare...

This reminded her of when she first told Sara that, to be honest, she was scared she could still miscarry and lose her one chance to be with Hana. Just like then, Sara had embraced her and looked her not just right in the eyes, but in her heart.

“I’m not here to force you or guilt you to go natural if it’s too much for you, and I’m absolutely not here to judge you. I’m here to support your choices and keep you and Hana safe.” She squeezed Maki’s hand a little tighter. “If you say you’re done? You’re done. You’re not weak, you’re not a quitter, and remember what I said if anyone says you are? Screw ‘em, simple as that. Deciding you want a break so you can be happy on the day your baby was born doesn’t make you less of a mother. You think so when, at every single turn, even in the middle of labor, you’ve put your child’s needs first?”

She wiped her eyes on her arm. “Not every turn. Not when I spent over a month in denial that I was going to have a baby,” she answered.

“And who made a promise to herself and her kit to make up for it from then on?”

“...Me.”

The dog nodded and relaxed a bit. “Listen, lemme put it this way. Your plan was always to go natural, and you still learned about epidurals from good sources, and I know that because I gave you some. You didn’t blindly accept they’re a magical fix-all, you wanted to really know what they are and what they do. You wanted to know what you might be getting into and what might be getting into you.” Maki nodded. “You betcha I’ve learned plenty about them, too,” Sara raised her eyebrows to emphasize that, “and not just because this isn’t even close to the first time someone I’ve worked with decided they wanted pain relief after all. Let’s say they’d stop the pain but had a high risk of hurting you somehow, would you still do it?”

She wasn’t sure. It was hard to think straight right now, let alone think of a situation where she didn’t go in prepared given the chance. “I...don’t know. Maybe not,” was the best answer she could give.

“Then what if they’d stop the pain but might hurt Hana?”

“Never!” she answered without missing a beat.

Sara let go of her hand and pointed at her. “And you think I’d let you do something that could hurt her so you’d feel better?”

“Mm mm,” she hummed, shaking her head.

“So, there. You’ve been listening to Hana, your body, and yourself, and if you’re saying, ‘No more,’ then that’s that,” she finished.

That stopped Maki’s self-confidence from dwindling further. She gave Sara a firm nod before looking at Jeremy. He looked away from her eyes and down to her belly, though the suddenness of the movement gave her more of a feeling that now he was the one with something on his mind that he didn’t want to say.

“If you’d open your gown, please, I’ll give Hana’s heart a listen,” he said.

She did as he asked, but while she now fully believed Sara meant what she said, Maki might have something more to say to Jeremy if his bedside manner was about to take a nosedive because he didn’t agree with her decision.

“Just say it,” she grumbled as he reached down with the doppler probe.

“Huh?”

“If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

At first, he didn’t say anything, and the only sound in the room was the thankfully ever-steady thrum of Hana’s heart. After he nodded at Maki, he turned the doppler off, pulled back to move the rolly stool to the bedside, and took a seat with both women looking at him.

“I know we don’t know each other well, we only just met today and I’m just kind of a helpful stranger,” he said. “I know I don’t have the...equipment to see what childbirth is like for myself, and I’m a nurse, not a midwife, not even a full-time doula. Which is all to say, I don’t know how much you’ll believe me.”

Hm. If that was true, that would be a better reason why he was suddenly being evasive than she expected. “Saying you don’t think I’ll believe you isn’t a good way to start. Try me.”

He nodded. “About my misspeak just now, I only said it to try to motivate you, and I overstepped my bounds. You clearly already told Sara you’d put your foot down. I’m sorry.”

Decent start, though she wasn’t sure about that last part. “The best way to be sorry for something is not just say so, but act like it and never do it again,” she noted.

“True. I might not have the same perspective as you and Sara, but I have my share of experience in this kind of thing. I meant it when I said you’ve impressed me from the start. I’m not here to judge you either, but wow. You don’t just have a plan, you clearly learned what you were doing even if the plan didn’t go as planned.” He smiled a little. “You don’t have to know everything about giving birth, that’s what Sara and I are here for, but being your nurse has been a privilege. I can see just from the time I’ve had with you that I totally agree with Sara.”

Again, decent, and she wasn’t getting the feeling that he was trying to flatter her to save his skin, though it wasn’t especially great.

“Now, if I can offer something from my side: If you want drugs, I’m getting ‘em. But something I want you to know is that this isn’t you giving up control. This is your choice, and I’m gonna make sure it stays your choice.”

Now he was on the right track.

“So, think of this.” He set the doppler on the bed and folded his hands. “You get some rest after the epidural, however much you need. If you want to revisit labor, you can.” Then he raised his hands to mime like he was dividing the choices into groups. “Take a good, long breather and turn the epidural off? Keep it going and then turn it off before pushing? Or, screw it, leave it cranked up and it’s not coming out until after Hana’s out?” He pointed at her. “You’re the boss here. The epidural machine even has a control to adjust the dosage.”

That all sounded pretty good to her. She’d be able to decide what she wanted to do with a clear head, whether she took a break or was totally done. She nodded, saying, “Okay.”

“Just remember that if you wanna get feeling back for pushing, it’s gonna take a while for it to wear off so timing’s gonna be tricky and Hana might decide she wants out now,” he said with a wider smile, making her give a chuckle of agreement, “but I’ll do what I can to help you no matter what you wanna do.”

Sara nodded too. “Epidural or not, the final goal’s the same,” she said, getting Maki’s attention back. “You’re gonna reach down past your belly, you’re gonna take her in your hands, and you’re gonna pull that beautiful little baby onto your chest where she belongs.”

That put a smile back on Maki’s face.

“And do you know what you’re gonna know if anyone thinks less of you for how you did it? What you can tell them?” When Maki raised her eyebrows, Sara grinned and finished, “You’re gonna know, ‘I did it, I had my baby, just like I knew I could.’”

That put an even bigger smile on her face. Yeah. They were right. “And...screw ‘em,” she added, getting a shared nod from all three of them.

“Now, just lemme listen to her heart for one contraction,” Jeremy said, “and next thing I do, I’m gonna go put that epidural request in. We’ll have that ready right on time.”

“Thanks, Jeremy.” Maki smiled tiredly at him, then grumbled as she shifted in Sara’s arm and grabbed the bed to shift over onto her side and face Jeremy; even lying on her back when not contracting was so uncomfortable. “...Sara,” she muttered, turning her head to look back at her midwife, “...tell me one more time I’m not failing.”

“Oh, honey, I’ll tell you every time you ask.” Sara let Maki go from the hug and ran her palms up and down Maki’s side and her back. “You are one badass mom, and you have not failed and are not failing. Not for one minute. You’re gonna be able to get some rest and gather your strength back up so you can pop Hana right out. Hear me?”

Maki tried to listen. To really look at the face of her midwife and really take in her words. Sara was right, she knew it. She needed the extra rest and strength to be able to do this. She took in a deep breath as she felt a surge beginning to swell, then slowly blew it out, nodding.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 5: Plan VS RealityAs Jeremy promised, the anesthesiologist arrived in the room several contractions later (for that was, truly, how Maki was measuring time now, by the waves crashing through her body and less by actual minutes or hours).He was a pleasant and quiet capybara, plump like Sara. His voice was soft and almost never came above a whisper as he asked Maki some questions about her health and medical history, had her sign a couple of consent forms, described the procedure to Maki and finished prepping his supplies while Jeremy wrapped the monitors back on her belly.Then, after waiting for a contraction to slam through her before she could get in position with as much time as possible, Maki sat on the side of the bed, bent forward and back bared. Sara sat in front of Maki and held both of her hands. When Jeremy wasn’t another pair of hands for the capybara, he stayed by her side as well. He asked if she’d wanted more description of what was happening. Maki, having seen and read what the epidural involved, just asked for countdowns before the needles went in and kept her eyes scrunched shut.The 10 or so minutes she had to hold that position were the worst minutes of her labor up to that point. She had two contractions during the procedure. Sara had firmly coached her through both of them, squeezing her hands back when her fingers clenched onto hers and encouraging her to take deep breaths and stay still: She just had to endure this, then she could get some rest. Jeremy, too, had lent his voice to Maki’s support even when he had to be hands-off to help the anesthesiologist. After the first one, she was panting, sweating, and grateful when Jeremy brought a freshly wetted washcloth for Sara to wipe her face. After the second, her face was buried in Sara’s chest as she heaved in her breaths, which would have embarrassed her before but at that moment, she just needed to shut out the pain so she could hold still long enough for relief.Even with how tired she was, her body was screaming at her to move by the end of those 10 minutes, even if just to get in a different position and stay still while she breathed through the pain.There was some coldness on her back as they brushed the sterilizing stuff on her, a needle pinch in the small of her back, a bit of pressure on that spot, and then cold flooding down her spine and butt, like she’d sat in an ice bath. Then it was over.The capybara had patted her shoulder, then began packing up his cart, with a few murmured words to sit back and get some rest, it should take hold within a few minutes. He would wait until she felt the numbness fully set in, so they’d know it worked.By the time Sara and Jeremy had helped her wiggle back into position, a bit of numbness had begun to creep down the backs of her thighs, just a bit more intense on her right side than her left.Maki’s mind was more at ease as she lay there waiting for it to take hold. Just a little bit longer and she could rest. Hearing the steady thrum-thrum-thrum-ing of Hana’s strong little heart on the monitor helped settle her own heart.Sara fetched her some ice chips and water as the anesthesiologist showed her the little remote control hooked up to the drug machine and explained how controlling the dosage worked. That also helped her relax and reminded her of what Jeremy said: Once she cleared her head, she could decide what to do. She was the one in control here.The next couple contractions washed through Maki before the epidural had fully taken hold and she twisted and jerked a bit on the bed, slamming her hands down against the mattress and scrunching her eyes tightly. Sara’s comforting weight depressed the bed next to her, and she felt a big hand on her upper arm, rubbing up and down as she coached Maki through her breathing. Clawing in big breaths of air, Maki slowly forced herself to relax, nose wrinkling and cheeks puffing out with effort.The gathered group stayed with her as feeling gradually left her from the belly down. She felt relief settle over her as she noted where she was losing feeling, poking at different parts of her body to test it. From her belly down to the tips of her toes, she could feel less and less as the minutes ticked by. When she told them she couldn’t feel or move her legs very well, the capybara assured her it was normal, which reassured her that her studies in how this could work had been correct. It was...weird, to be sure, but it reassured her that there wouldn’t be any more pain.By the time the epidural had been in place for 15 minutes, on her next contraction, she just needed some steady breathing to get through it. No jerking around, no moaning, no worse pain than someone pressing on a big, but not especially bad, bruise that covered her belly and pelvis. “Pressing” was the key word: During the contraction, she could feel the pressure of her kit’s head from before the epidural, but it was much easier to deal with now that the pain was so much weaker. Again, like she expected. It felt sort of like the contractions she had after laboring at home for a few hours: Enough to need some focus, but not nearly as bad as they had been after her water broke.Maki thanked the anesthesiologist and said that if things kept getting number, at this rate, she’d be fine. The capybara smiled back at her, gave her a quick goodbye, and took his leave, asking her to buzz Jeremy if they needed anything. Their nurse patted Maki’s leg, making her smile and comment again at how weird it was that she could barely even tell he was touching her, and encouraged her to lean back and get some sleep if she could.Once she was alone with Sara, she said that if Sara needed to step away for anything that she’d be fine, but she wanted Sara here while she rested. She still wanted Sara to make sure everything stayed okay, to keep an eye on the heart monitor, and, to be honest, to feel like someone who supported her choice was by her side. The kindly dog assured Maki that her role in this wasn’t done by any means. After all, whether Maki wanted to be in Epidural Central for the rest of her labor or not, she would be there to coach her through pushing and, just like Maki said, make sure everything stayed okay, especially after Hana was born so she could make sure the kit was breathing all right.That made Maki remark that, to be even more honest, she also wanted to make sure someone was ready to catch Hana if she stayed so numb that she couldn’t tell if Hana was coming out. That got a laugh from both of them before Sara said that she’d seen for herself that Maki would probably feel the difference even with an epidural...but she’d be here. Just in case.With that, Maki reclined the bed back a little more, shut her eyes, and stroked her belly, only mildly uncomfortable through the next contraction.And those two mostly numb contractions were the extent of her relief.After that, the growing numbness (which felt more like she was wearing a very thick pair of sweatpants on top of a pair of tights) shifted until it had only really settled on the right side of her body and faded to near-nothing on the left, so now she felt just about everything on that side, plus some annoying pin and needle tingles to add icing onto the cake. And her right leg? It felt as heavy as cement yet as floppy as rubber, which was to say, she had no control over it in the slightest.That, combined with the belly monitors and being confined to her bed, made it almost impossible for Maki to get any rest or even to relax.Within half an hour of getting the epidural, she was starting to lose control again, and this time, she was getting worried not for Hana, but for herself.Scrunched up on her side with one knee awkwardly pulled almost to her chest, Maki held onto the bed rail with both hands and huffed her way through a contraction, cheeks puffing in and out and sweat beading on her forehead.Sara watched like a hawk, leaning in to wipe at her forehead with a damp rag only when Maki released the bed and gave a soft, uncomfortable groan. “That’s it, honey. Nice work.”“Mmuh...damn it, it’s still only working on this side!” Maki whined, flailing an impatient hand at her upper hip. She almost couldn’t feel the impact, and that only reminded her further that there was nothing she could do about her situation, not this time.Sighing, Sara wiped her forehead again, then grabbed up the cup of ice chips and guided it into Maki’s hand. She’d buzzed Jeremy a while ago to come help with this, but the nurse hadn’t shown up yet. “Yeah, unfortunately, that happens sometimes. It’s hard to tell why. And having that little bit of relief doesn’t help? Or does it?” Her ears lifted as she questioned.Wiggling onto her back, Maki shook her head and aggressively chomped on a bit of ice. “No...no, it’s fucking annoying, is what it is!”“I can imagine it is.” Sara chuckled and perched on the edge of the bed, looking at her. “You’re handling it like a rockstar, though. I mean that, I know I keep saying it but it’s true. All that prep work is really paying off.”Maki just grunted in response, munching another bit of the ice before handing the cup back to Sara and flopping back on the pillows. Puffing her cheeks, she braced her hands on the bed and tried to wiggle her hips a little, having a hard time moving them fully. “God. I just wanna...I wanna be moving, I feel like I need to be...up and walking, sit on the ball again, I don’t fucking know, even just standing.”“I know, sweetheart, but with your leg numbed I don’t even wanna try it.” Sara’s voice dipped to be a bit more serious to show Maki her safety wasn’t up for debate as she leaned and set the cup on the bedside table, then scooted a little closer. “We can try some safer positions, on the side with one leg in a stirrup, we can try to get you kneeling, but I don’t know how steady you’d be with one leg numbed, or how comfortable that would even be.”Maki wrinkled her nose and scrunched her eyes tightly, trying to force herself to relax, rest while she had the chance, and above all else, not panic. None of those lasted long before she let out an unhappy groan, and then groaned again, higher in both pitch and volume.Sara lifted her eyes to watch the lines of the contraction spiking on the monitor, then turned her attention right back to Maki. Folding the washcloth, she leaned and carefully placed it on the rabbit’s forehead. “Easy. Nice and easy. Slow those breaths down and focus on getting the oxygen aaaall the way down to Hana.”Maki heard her words, but it took a moment to get her body to respond. She could barely get air to her own self, let alone to Hana. She pulled in a strained breath through her nose, then let her jaw drop as she sighed it out.“There ya go. Beautiful. Do that again.”Letting her head flop back against the pillows, Maki dragged in another burning breath, then sighed again, vocalizing more and feeling her voice rumble in her ribcage as the pressure rose and rose in her belly and pelvis.“I love those low sounds. You got this, Maki. Ride it through.”“No, I don’t,” Maki thought. She felt so...so out of control. The bit of control that she thought she had over this entire situation was slipping rapidly through her fingers the more she was tied down to this bed, legs prickling and heavy. She thought the epidural would let her rest, give her a reprieve before pushing.On her next exhale, contraction peaking, Maki forced her eyes open and met Sara’s gaze. She growled a bit at first, then grunted out a few words. “Turn it up,” she slapped the epidural’s remote with her hand, “max it out, gimme more.”“Okay. Alright. Get through this contraction. You’re almost done.” Sara nodded and grabbed her hand, and Maki held onto it with a fierce squeeze. They stayed drawn tight together, hands clasped, until the contraction released its hold. Once it was finally done, Sara reached for the remote. “Let’s crank this stubborn girl up, see if we can get ‘er to do her job.”As Maki said, the doula turned up the medication’s dosage to the maximum. While they waited for it to kick in some more, and hopefully better, Maki held onto Sara as she tried, with mixed success, to calm down and hope this would stop the pain, at least until Jeremy got here and they could show him things were going wrong. Her contractions kept coming, and she kept struggling through them. At Sara’s suggestion, she rolled from side to side to try to deal with them and to see if maybe that would get the medicine to spread like it was supposed to.After a few contractions that she groaned, whimpered, and shouted through, it felt like maybe it was working after all. The numbness started to fade from the formerly numb side of her belly and creep into the other side. It still wasn’t total pain relief, but even balancing things out was easier to deal with for Maki. But they must have, indeed, wiggled something in her spine, and not into place but out of place: The numbness stopped spreading and just dimmed all around, leaving her belly only a little numb.Worse, now both legs were numb and weren’t working...and that still wasn’t all.Maki had learned about possible side effects of epidurals, and as the numbness left her belly for her formerly good leg, she was hit by another complication she really didn’t need. She was getting dizzy, which Sara explained (more like reminded but Maki really couldn’t do “remembering” right now) was from a blood pressure drop, which unfortunately could happen even after IVs. The midwife reassured her that was a common problem and the anesthesiologist would know what to do along with fixing her epidural...once they could get him in here. That was taking too damn long.Once Maki’s blood pressure dropped, Sara marched right to the door and told any staff passing by, with all the conviction of a very protective doula whose patient needed help, that this patient was having epidural complications and needed an anesthesiologist here now. As she’d been told by the nurses and doctors, anesthesiology had some emergencies to handle, and Maki was on the to-do list but unfortunately “woman in labor” was of lower priority by comparison.The pain was already getting the better of Maki in a way that was much worse than when she wanted the epidural. She had other options she could have tried, options she was really starting to regret not listening to. At least then, she might get mean and nasty and loud, but she hadn’t lost control of her body and she could find a way to work with it with Sara’s guidance. But when she hadn’t just lost control of her body but with her head swirling and her stomach feeling like it was this close to clamping down and making her throw up, she couldn’t even think clearly.This was so much worse. Now she was losing her body and her mind.“Maki, easy, gimme some deep breaths,” Sara coached her through another contraction.Maki couldn’t relax. She couldn’t breathe other than to moan or shout or voice her pain and worry. Her hands squeezed the sheets as she tried very unsuccessfully to push her hips and torso up off the bed. She couldn’t do this. Not like this. “Sara, help, I gotta mooove!” she pleaded during the moments she could speak before the wave rose higher.“Easy, easy, if you gotta move, I’ll help you move, but you gotta relax those arms,” Sara went on, taking Maki’s hands. It took a little effort for her to pry Maki’s fingers open, and as soon as she did, the rabbit clamped down on hers. “Good. I gotcha.”With a gentle tug, she got Maki sitting upright and held her up, putting an arm around her shoulders and letting Maki hold her big hand with both of her smaller ones. It was just in time for another peak in the contraction, and she buried her face in Sara’s chest again as she tried to breathe through it. She could take deep breaths, but they weren’t calm or controlled exhales, not anymore, not with how loud she was getting, and they weren’t the strong and defiant cries of a fighter.She wasn’t just hurting anymore.She was scared.“I know this is getting crazy, but you are okay,” the mastiff said firmly. “You have got this.”Even through the pain and the haze filling her head, which was so much harder to deal with now than before, she only knew one thing: “No, I don’t have this. It has me.”After a few too many seconds of crested pain and pressure, things slowly dwindled down the fading side of the contraction. Maki mimicked Sara’s deep breathing as she tried to calm herself and not think about how another surge was only minutes away. She and Sara kept holding onto each other as she tried to think of what went wrong and how to fix it.Whether the anesthesiologist did something wrong or not, she knew she only had herself to blame for not planning for this. She went into this determined to do it naturally, but she knew the value of planning, so she did her research on epidurals. She’d read birth stories of mothers who’d done it naturally and with drugs. How did she have this big of a blind spot in her birth plan? Getting an epidural was supposed to be when it stopped and stayed stopped, which was why she was so determined to go natural while she had the chance. She had considered stopping the medication before pushing so even if she couldn’t take the pain, she could at least go into pushing after some rest and could feel what she was doing.Sara comfortingly stroked her back and said, “Sweetheart, listen. We are gonna fix this. You just gotta be strong for a little longer, then you can rest.”There was a small but growing voice telling Maki that “fixing this” wasn’t the answer. It had to stop. That was how they’d “fix this.”Instead, she voiced another thought. “Sara, please, I gotta get up, I gotta move.”She felt Sara shake her head. “Not with your legs like this and not with your blood pressure messed up in the middle of labor.”She growled in frustration, going on, “Can’t you help me get up?! Hold me up, prop me up, get me on all fours, I can’t do it like this!”Sara shook her head again, and when she eased Maki back a little, their eyes met, and the rabbit could see that Sara was speaking from both compassion and concern. “Maki, this is maybe my least favorite thing to say or do, and I want you to know that, so you know just how serious I am...” she paused a second to let that sink in, “and that’s tell someone in labor, ‘No, you can’t.’”Maki grunted, asking with a silent, pleading gaze for Sara to do what she asked or at least explain why not.“We’ll move you as much as we can, but that’s a hard no for getting you on your feet, no debating. You’re gonna fall and hurt yourself, and you know who else could get hurt if you fall.” Maki flinched, and Sara nodded when she saw the rabbit got her point. “With your water broken, she’s also lost that nice liquid cushion that helped keep her safe. I’m a strong lady, you know I can lift you no sweat, but I’m not putting you and her where either of you could get hurt.”Maki balled one hand into a fist and pounded it on her leg, only upsetting herself more with how she couldn’t feel it. “Damn iiit...then...whatever. Just...help me move,” she grumbled, “and where the fuck’s Jeremy?!”The midwife sighed. “If there’s one good reason he’s not here, it better be because he’s busy,” she muttered as she hit the nurse call button for the third time since Maki’s relief had started to go sideways in both the metaphorical and literal senses.With some awkward maneuvering, Sara moved them into a new position: Sitting behind Maki, with the latter sitting between her spread legs and kept upright by the larger woman’s body. At Maki’s request, she squeezed firmly against the rabbit’s hips. Sitting was still uncomfortable for her, and the growing pressure from Hana’s head was making her pelvis ache.They didn’t have long to wait before she grunted and took a deep breath. She had to get this back under control. She had to breathe. She had to focus. She...“Ohhhh,” she moaned, squeezing the sheets in her fingers again and shaking her head back and forth slowly.“Good, deeeep breaths,” Sara coached her as she massaged Maki’s aching hips.She lasted two more deep breaths before her breathing came faster. She couldn’t help it: Being upright was better than lying down, but sitting wasn’t working. Not like walking or standing or using the yoga ball.Damn it, the epidural was supposed to make it hurt less, not more.“Easy, easy, ooopen your mouth.”She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to do what Sara said. Her cheeks puffed out with the force of her exhales. She knew it wasn’t going to work but she still tried to move her legs, but the harder she tried, the more frustrated she got when the best she could do was get them to twitch a little.It was supposed to give her control back, not take it!“Sss, aah...mmmah...haaah!” she cried as the contraction kept rising.“Gimme some nice, deep grunts like you were doing, those were perfect,” Sara said.She grit her jaw and tried to turn her cries into grunts, but the best she could do was let them out from between clenched teeth, not deep in her lungs. She was too tight all over her body, not just her belly.Through her own cries and her blurry head, she couldn’t hear Sara as the contraction peaked again. No images or words came to mind as she could only endure the pain, not work with it. No words, except three:
“Get it out.”
Somehow, at the peak of the contraction, she found her voice again. Talking during contractions had been nearly undoable for hours, but Sara needed to hear this and she needed to hear this now, when Maki couldn’t possibly mean it more. “I’m done! I’m done! I can’t fucking do it!” she yelled.“You’re not gonna have to, Maki!” Sara replied, louder than usual so the laboring woman could hear her. “You just gotta be strong for a little longer!”She kept loudly voicing how she was feeling, both in her overworked body and overstressed head, as the peak lingered on, and then started easing up at last, making her hunch forward over her belly and gasp for air.This wasn’t working. None of it was, including her.The meconium was just in the back of her mind, not gone. Sara and Jeremy had done so, so much to reassure her Hana was all right and she was doing everything right to bring her kit into the world, but this was different. Things kept going more and more wrong. What would be next: They’d see Hana was in trouble? She needed this to stop now or there were only going to be more and more interventions she didn’t want.And Sara couldn’t fix this. Oh, she would if she could, and she’d already been trying to get someone who could. Forget sainthood, Sara had already earned her angel wings. Maki knew she would be a wreck if Sara weren’t here and would be begging for a C-section, but Sara could only do so much. This was a problem she could mitigate but couldn’t fix.If the meconium was a sucker punch and needing the epidural was the gut punch that took her breath, this was the hit that put her on the ground and stood on her chest to keep her there. That was almost the literal truth since she was stuck in bed and couldn’t get up and couldn’t breathe.How fitting, comparing this to fighting. Her body and mind weren’t working together or even working on their own anymore. They were fighting themselves with every contraction.And both of them were losing and losing quickly.There was only one thing to do.“Get it out,” she muttered as the last of the pain left for the moment.Sara dabbed at Maki’s forehead with the nearby washcloth as she answered, “Sweetheart, you might hate me for this, but a C-section’s not the way to go, not for this.”“No,” she grunted, heaving in another breath, “the epidural. Get it out of me.”“Maki, honey, this is fixable, you’re gonna get that rest you need, and-”“No!” Maki snapped at her. Were she not getting so stressed out so fast, she’d have been surprised at snapping at her dear support. “I don’t want it anymore!”Still holding onto Maki’s hands as she got off the bed, Sara said, “Maki, epidurals can go weird like this sometimes; I’ve seen it happen before. But when they do, we just gotta get the anesthesiologist in here, he’ll figure it out, and you’re gonna be able to rest again.” She smiled confidently. “Just like jiggling the plug around, y’know?”“I said, I don’t want it anymore!” Maki insisted, louder and sharper.“Oh, well that’s totally doable too. Let’s turn it off.”For the second time today, and much harder than the first time, Maki hit her breaking point.“Shut up!” she yelled at Sara as she pounded a fist on the bed. “Sara, I don’t have a fucking safety word for this!” Then, having to shout at her to shut up opened a floodgate from how far past her physical and mental limits she’d been pushed and her tears started flowing.Sara’s face instantly softened, and she sat back down on the bed and asked, with only her comforting, searching gaze, for Maki to show her what she needed.“Sara, I mean it, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t. I’m gonna fucking lose it,” she whimpered before she gave a big sniffle. “I wouldn’t just bite through the tube. I don’t want the epidural in my body at all. I don’t want it in the room. I don’t want it anywhere I can even think about it again.”Sara nodded understandingly and spoke in a voice as soft, yet focused, as her eyes as she used the washcloth to dab at Maki’s tears. “Just, whatever you do, don’t take it out on yourself. Take it out on me if you gotta. Yell at me, swear, pound your fists on me, I’ll even get you something to bite down on. You’re the one working harder than ever to have this baby.” After she finished, she set the cloth aside and rested her big hands on the rabbit’s shoulders. “Whatever you want, I’m gonna do all I can to make it happen. Do you want the epidural turned off?” she asked calmly.She firmly shook her head. “I want this epidural...out. Out of me. I can’t do this.”“Mama, you know what that means. If that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.” She squeezed Maki’s shoulders comfortingly, giving Maki a serious look. “But are you sure?”In her dizzy head, Maki knew that yes, getting an epidural had been part of the plan if she couldn’t do it anymore, but she didn’t plan for this. She needed to make it clear to Sara that this was doing more harm than good. So she reached up, took Sara’s hands in hers, and made herself as clear as possible in as few words as possible.“It’s. Hurting. Me.”That did it. Sara nodded, her eyebrows lowering and her gaze steeling. Maki had never seen her Mama Bear side, but this must be it.With a deep sigh, Maki sat up a bit taller. “Sara, if I could, I’d rip this thing out of my back myself and go back to natural. This isn’t helping, it’s making it worse.” Tears welled up in her eyes, and she swallowed hard at the lump forming in her throat as she let herself cry again to show Sara how serious she was.Maki saw Sara understood she wasn’t just in pain. She was scared, and she needed Sara to protect her before things got worse. Stroking her thumb across the back of Maki’s hand, Sara answered, “Okay. Okay, honey.”“You don’t have to rip it out.”Maki and Sara looked up and saw Jeremy smiling at them. She didn’t know how long he’d been there, but if all he’d heard was what she just said, he’d heard enough. She felt a little relief take the edge off her panic, though it didn’t last long when it was clear the anesthesiologist wasn’t with him.Speaking of having heard enough, Sara frowned at him as she stood up. “Jeremy, anesthesia’d better right behind you,” she warned.“I’m working on it, they’re-”“No excuses,” she cut him off sharply, “we want action. We need the doctor.”The smile left Jeremy’s face as his ears pinned back for a second under Sara’s stern and increasingly disapproving stare. “I understand that,” he said firmly, splitting his attention between both women as he stepped closer. “I’ve heard about the epidural problem, and anesthesia was paged before I even knew about it.” He tried to focus on Maki again as he went on, “As I was saying, I’m sorry it took me a bit, emergencies came up I had to deal with. Though that’d be impressive, ripping it out, I don’t think that’s a good-”“I said, no excuses,” the mastiff interrupted him as she stepped closer to him, “and that includes no apologies. If you’ve got time to be sorry, you’ve got time to do something about it.”Maki felt her tension rising again as her doula and her nurse started coming into conflict. She needed them there to help her.“I am here to do something about it,” he insisted, holding his ground. “I’m gonna tell her what we can do.”“No ‘can dos,’ Jeremy, I wanna hear what you’re gonna do. If you heard about how her epidural’s messed up, and now her blood pressure’s off, you know this isn’t something to just coach her through.”“That’s not what I’m here for.”“Then forget it. Do what you gotta do, then go get the doctor.”Maki breathed deeper to try to think clearly. She’d been so clear that she felt unsafe to get through to Sara, but had she gone too far? She thought back to those times when Sara and Jeremy were working together to take care of her and Hana...she felt so much safer and more confident then. She needed that back. But she didn’t know how to de-escalate this.Despite both dogs staying professional and even-tempered, they were right in front of each other now.“You’re really not letting me ‘do what I gotta do’ this time, Sara,” Jeremy stressed.Sara pointed at Maki. “I’m telling you what you should be doing. She needs help.”“And I’m gonna help her in every way I can.”“Then do your job, Jeremy.”“May I please speak?”“Enough!” Maki shouted at them, bringing their staredown to an abrupt end as they turned to face her. She pointed at her doula, “Sara, let him talk,” in the same exhale, she pointed at her nurse, “Jeremy, talk smart and talk fast.”After clearing his throat, the retriever gave her a small smile as he approached the bed, taking a seat on the rolling stool and resting a hand on her shoulder. “Okay. Like I was saying, anesthesiology’s held up dealing with other things, but your spot in line’s coming up. The anesthesiologist can remove it. Much safer than ripping it out. He’ll figure out what we need to do about your head, too.”Maki forced a small, exhausted smile. “Please.”“Okay. Can I check your progress first, just so I can make sure it’s safe, get an idea of where we’re at?”“Mmh.” Maki nodded, and Sara moved back to carefully help her lean back in bed and arrange her heavy legs while Jeremy gloved up. Maki flinched a little bit this time as Jeremy inserted his finger, wrinkling her nose. “God. I can still feel...literally everything down there. Even that.” She flailed her hand at her right side.Sara shook her head, taking her small hand and gripping it in both of her own big ones. “I cannot imagine how annoying that is.”Jeremy quickly removed his hand. “Looks like you’ve progressed to about 3 and a half centimeters, maybe 4. So that means...” He paused while he pulled his gloves off, then looked at Maki with a gentle smile. “Whether you turn it off and leave it off, or take it out, it’s gonna take some time for the feeling to get all the way back in your legs. In my experience, it’ll ease up over a couple hours, maybe more, before you can feel everything again, and you’ve had it in for about an hour, so it’s had time to sink in. But at this rate, it should wear off before you’re ready to start pushing.” He paused. “Emphasis on ‘should.’”“Shit,” she cursed. A couple hours? Stuck in bed like this? Still...if it meant she could move again, even if it didn’t all come back right away but she could do something about the contractions, and especially if it would fix her head and she could move when pushing...“But!” Jeremy added more seriously, dulling the bit of optimism she just got back. “If you really want it out, then want it back in later, if you’re all the way dilated, or even so close that you can’t sit still long enough to put it back in, he’s probably not going to do it, not if it would risk hurting you. I can get you some other pain meds or pain management stuff that might help, but you could be looking at a no-epidural birth after all, no matter how much you might want one again.”That didn’t sound ideal either and she reflexively reached her other hand up for Sara’s hands. She looked back and forth between Jeremy, Sara, and her belly as she tried to calm down and think. She was good at thinking things through...but she’d never tried while in the thick of labor, let alone a labor that had gone wrong and an epidural that had left her feeling like the room was spinning.He looked up at Sara with a nod, then back at Maki as he reached out to offer his hand. With a little hesitation, she let go of one of Sara’s hands and took his. “I know this wasn’t supposed to happen and it feels like things are going wrong again. But everything is gonna be okay, Maki,” he said, looking her in the eyes much like how Sara was doing just a bit ago. “I will get this fixed. Sara will help you get through it. But you’re the woman having a baby here. This might have to be your final answer, like ‘Millionaire,’ okay?”Maki nodded with a small smile, and Sara nodded at him. “Remember what we said, Maki: Hana’s the main priority here, but we’re gonna take care of you, too.”Jeremy held up a clenched fist in support. “Team Hana’s got your back.”“But,” Sara added, “Hana’s doing okay right now, but you aren’t.” Despite her lingering Mama Bear aura, she smiled at the rabbit. “If Maki’s the one who needs a team...” she trailed off, looking between Jeremy and Maki. “Team Maki,” she said to the nurse.He smiled at her, then at Maki. “Team Maki,” he said with a thumbs-up at them before he headed for the door.Support. Cooperation. Teamwork. That was exactly what Maki needed to know she had on her side, and exactly what she needed to find within herself again.Even feeling a little overwhelmed by the possibilities, the fact that they’d given her back the feeling of choice was so different from how she felt a couple minutes ago.Still, that left a big problem: What was she gonna do?Get the doctor to fix the epidural? It wasn’t supposed to screw up like this in the first place, but if Jeremy was right (and she’d come to believe he knew what he was talking about), the doctor could probably take care of it. She was the one who asked for drugs in the first place, just like she planned, no one offered them or talked her into it. But what if it failed again and she was still stuck in bed like this, if not even worse as her labor progressed? And she didn’t even want to think of what pushing might be like. Not being able to move but still feeling everything was already unbearable, and pushing like this would be a nightmare.Turn it off but leave it in? That was a “best of both worlds” thing, even if the doctor fixed it first, especially if she could move again. She just might change her mind later, especially since she still had some dilation to go. She’d changed her mind more than once and this way she’d be ready if she changed it again. Her labor had taken some unwelcome turns already.Or just forget it and get the damn thing out of her? If she wasn’t going to use it at all, she’d rather just do that. As rational as she was trying to be, she wanted it out of her body. Whether the doctor messed up when he was putting it in, or she didn’t stay still enough, or she was just that damn unlucky, it made her feel unsafe with it stuck in her back, not when this was what it was doing.Maki wasn’t ready for this choice. Getting the epidural was when her need to make choices was supposed to stop, or at least take a break so that she could take a break. She’d planned for so many contingencies in her birth plan...Hell, forget the plan, she even planned for things to mess up in her daydreams of “if this happens in labor, then I’ll do that.” Not this.As far as all her planning had gotten her, being “a woman of plans” was suddenly starting to not amount to a whole Hell of a lot, despite Hana’s birth being the most important thing she’d planned for in her life.“Sara...what do I do?” she asked, needing her midwife’s guidance, and holding her hand tighter.Sara smiled, then shook her head. “Maki, I’m here to help you choose. Everything Jeremy said sounds about like what I’d say. I’m sorry, but this is your choice to make.”“Fuuuck...” she groaned, her head hitting the pillows. She had to think...where did she need more information? The “fix it” and “turn it off” options, she knew how those would probably go. “If we take it out...what’re we gonna do?”“Okay, honey. Just like he said, if this gets turned off or if they take it out, it’s gonna take a while to move through your system, so I’m gonna suggest that before we get you right up onto your feet, that you start off on your side, maybe propping your leg up on the stirrup or the grab bar, or I can help hold it. Then we can try hands and knees, or you can lean on the ball again, or we can raise the head of the bed and get you on your knees, leaning against it, you know? You can even lean on me if you want.” She smiled, mimicking the leaning position with her arms. “Maybe sitting won’t be so bad once you’ve moved around for a bit. Something steadier until you get your sea legs back. We’ll try everything you’re up for trying.”“Mhm.” Maki nodded, swallowing and licking her lips. “Whatever you say. I just wanna be off my butt. This sucks.”“I hear you.” Sara laughed a bit, taking a drink of her own water. “Then it sounds like we’re not gonna try fixing it, so that’s one option out. That just leaves-”She was cut off by Maki’s eyes clenching shut along with her taking a hissing inhale and curling around her belly, such as she could with her limited movement.“All right, here we go. Gimme a deep breath,” she said firmly.Breathing. She never thought she’d see the day she struggled to breathe when there was nothing stopping her from doing it. Then again, until about 7 months ago, she’d spent a long time figuring she’d never know what it was like to have a baby. She tried to take a deep breath, but a few short inhales were all she could do along with pained whimpers for exhales.“Come on, Maki, we both know you can do it,” Sara coached her, putting an arm around her shoulders again. “Breeeathe in,” she went on, taking a loud, deep breath herself to encourage Maki to copy her.The rabbit moaned, then finally made herself take a deep breath, then let it out with a loud, low, rumbling groan. It helped just a smidge, but that was enough to encourage her to do it again. She’d use every option she had, and if that meant using her breath and her voice more than before, she’d be so loud that the whole hospital could hear her for all she cared.“Yeah, attagirl!” Sara cheered. “In and out, just like that, mama!”Encouraged all the more, she clamped her fingers around Sara’s and heaved in another breath, then groaned it out again. She imagined a channel opening from her contracting belly up to her lungs and then to her mouth. This was the worst pain of her life, but she wasn’t forcing it down: She was letting it out.That mantra Sara had taught her replayed in her cloudy thoughts, which sounded silly when she first heard it and sounded and like some, to use an outdated term, hippie stuff. But then she’d actually tried it for herself and saw Sara was right: Open mouth, open throat, open lungs, open hips, open cervix.It rolled on like that until she let out one last groan. As she steadied her breathing with Sara’s encouragement and her head cleared enough to think again, she had to take stock of her new situation. If this was the start of what was waiting for her? This was gonna get rough.But she knew what she wanted to do. She’d do anything for Hana, even this. But now it was time to do right for herself.Jeremy came back into the room after a moment, resting a hand on the foot of the bed and smiling at Maki. “Alright, he said he’d be here in just a minute. You ready to make a choice? Last chance, no takebacks!”Sara gently wiped Maki’s sweaty brow, smiling at her too. “I know we don’t have safety words for this, so whatever you’ve got to say, we’re listening.”“...Here’s your safety words: Fuck this. Get this thing out of me, Jeremy,” Maki replied with an exhausted smirk.Both of her supporters chuckled, with Jeremy also nodding and giving her a thumbs up. “You got it, mama.”Right on cue, there was a knock at the door, and the capybara poked his head in, ears wiggling. “Hello, Ms. Morita. I understand your epidural’s not working,” he said quietly.“I want it out,” she said immediately.“It should be a very simple...I’m sorry, what? Out as in...?” he trailed off.“Out as in out. Out of my body, out of this room, just...get it away from me.”He nodded as he approached the bed. “All right. Jeremy or Sara, please help her move.”Maki was afraid she’d have to stay still for another 10 minutes while they took it out, but nope, this was much quicker. In fact, the doctor was able to stop and remove it before she had her next contraction. Once it was out, she looked back just to see for herself that the needle and tube were in his hands, not her back, and watched as he bandaged the spot just above her tail where it used to be.Even though everyone said it would take hours, she swore up and down she could feel relief as soon as the drugs stopped. Maybe it was just a mental thing, though.Looking between the needle and her back gave her enough focus to mutter to herself, “Time to be strong. Time to be brave. Time to...mmmf...”As the doctor adjusted her IV dosage to help fix her dizziness, she had just enough time to hear him tell Jeremy he was supposed to check on her more frequently until her BP leveled off. Then, tuning out their medical chatter, she groaned and lay on her side as another surge began. Sara, who had again held her hands and helped her sit up for the procedure, kept squeezing Maki’s hands as she squeezed them back. Having picked up on what coaching methods finally worked with the last contraction, Sara breathed deeply and steadily to set a rhythm for Maki to follow. It helped her keep air flowing in and out like she needed it to, which in turn helped her feel like she had gotten some of her body working again.To her surprise, as the surge strengthened and she had to cope with it with deep grunts, she felt Jeremy’s hand on her upper arm as he knelt down behind her and joined in the breathing exercise. She welcomed another supportive voice and touch to remind her that she had a team that was here for her. It didn’t make the pain go away, but it reminded her she had people who believed in her.When her grunts and groans turned once again to yelling and shouting, they didn’t silence or discourage her. They wanted her to let it out but coaxed her into keeping up her breathing to give her body the fuel it needed as she let her body do its work. She kept her throat, her lungs, her everything-she-could open. She couldn’t beat it, but she wasn’t going to fight it anymore either. She needed it to happen to get her precious kit out.After the pain started easing up, she shut her eyes as she refocused her breathing. She needed to withdraw into herself for a moment. Trying to think with her dizzy head was like looking through a dark room while its floor was shifting from side to side, but it could be done if she just took her time.Maki couldn’t believe how long she had worried and fretted over her birth plan, trying to make sure everything was right. All those drafts, revisions, research, practice...even with how much she liked a firm plan, it still had room for variance and contingencies, just like Sara said she’d need, and she’d never expected to be in total control unless she hit the full stop button and wanted the epidural. Now, at this point, she wasn’t even sure what “right” was, anymore.But she knew one thing. She’d found the answer for her question of “what do I do?” When she opened her eyes, she felt something new in her heart, something she’d felt earlier in her labor that she’d lost as time had gone on but was back: The fire of determination, which was melting the fear that had chilled her.“There ya go! That’s the look!” Sara said with a big smile. “I see it in your eyes, mama!”“...Time for the hard part,” Maki finished her earlier thought.“No,” Jeremy said, making her look back at his grinning face. “Time to finish the hard part,” he affirmed, pointing at her.Through her deep breaths, she gave him a little smile before looking at Sara, whose smile turned into her own knowing grin. “Time for the hard part to see what Maki Morita can do,” she continued.Her smile widened, then she chuckled confidently and added her own last affirmation, “Time to kick the hard part’s ass.”From the responses she got, including a thump from Hana’s feet, they agreed as much as she did.Maki was totally off script, enough so that she felt like taking that stupid manilla folder she’d prepared and chucking it out the window.All she could do now was trust. Trust in herself, her body, her supporters, and her baby. Follow her instinct.She wouldn’t do it alone, she’d draw strength from her supporters, but Maki was getting her body and her birth back.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 6: The Team RalliesThe following hour without the epidural was rough. What little numbness that was still in her belly and hips was the first to go, leaving her feeling all the pain and pressure. She had to endure so many more of those awkward contractions in positions she didn’t want to be in, but she stayed committed to her choice. With encouragement from Sara, Maki kept rolling from side to side and gripped the bedrails, the sheets, the pillows, Sara’s hands, the headrest of the bed, anything she could reach, using her voice to let go of the immense energy of the surges of pressure. They moved the head of the bed up and down: Nearly upright, then at an angle, then flat, then at an angle again, trying every option to find something that worked for her even for a little while. At Sara’s suggestion, she settled on squeezing a couple of hair combs they’d brought for that reason. Sara and Jeremy had been right: They did feel strangely good to clench down on.During it all, she kept trying to get her legs working again. Every twitch of her feet, wiggle of her toes, and other movement that she wanted them to make, however small or jerky, was a tiny victory and a sign that her body was trying to work again. Between contractions, Sara firmly rubbed up and down her legs; the rabbit imagined it was like rubbing a numb or sore muscle, gradually encouraging it to come back to life. Her dizziness also slowly but surely got better, with the room going from feeling like it was spinning to just feeling like it was tilting around.Jeremy, who had been coming in to check on her more often just like the doctor required, kept assuring Maki that Hana was staying strong through the intensifying contractions, kept their water and ice refilled to keep Sara by Maki’s side as much as possible, kept telling Maki her blood pressure was going back to where it should be, and added his encouraging voice, along with his touch when she wanted it, when he could be with them. She found herself wishing he could stay longer, having come to appreciate his support not just from the medical side but as someone who cared about her and Hana’s comfort as well as their safety.As they’d told her, it took a while before she could really move again. However, once her legs felt lighter, less tingly and leaded, Maki began to move again, to wiggle, to sit on her shins, to sway and rock her hips, to lift and lower her pelvis. When her ears stayed flopped against the back of her neck from fatigue, Sara had let her hair down so it wouldn’t be bunched up and tied them back in a scrunchie to keep them out of her face. She withdrew further into herself, drawing on her strength and trying to allow herself to rest between each surge. Sara reminded her she was going to need that energy for pushing, after all.After a little over an hour of her body recovering from the epidural, with Maki sitting on her shins and leaning forward against the raised head of the bed, she finally felt like she was ready to give her body a test.“Okay...I’m...I wanna try standing,” she huffed as she panted out the last of a contraction.Sara hummed questioningly as she sat behind Maki and rubbed her back. “Honey, I can see you’re really getting your body working again, but it’s way too soon for you to be standing in labor.”“Not...not like, during contractions. I just need to see that I can stand at all.” She looked back at her. “Please.”While still looking a bit reluctant, she nodded, saying, “But just for a little bit, then you’re getting back in bed, and if you so much as stumble, you’re back in bed.”“Fine. Just...be ready to catch me,” she agreed as she leaned back.“That’s also not up for debate,” Sara replied as she got off the bed.After a deep breath, Maki slowly eased herself to sit on the side of the bed and swung her legs so they dangled over the side. Sara moved in front of her and held her hands under Maki’s arms, not lifting at all but following her movements as closely as her shadow. She took a second to plead for her body to show her that it was working again, that she still had a chance to labor properly, and that she would be able to give birth the way she wanted.With her doula ready to hold her up, she wiggled off the bed and onto her feet. She didn’t feel super steady, and she didn’t dare do anything but stand up.And yet, stand up she did.She laughed tiredly as she looked down at herself. She’d hit the point in labor where something as simple as breathing was hard, and she’d gotten through it. This was another step, literally, in the right direction.“Yeah! You did it, Maki!” Sara cheered.“Haha, yes! I can do it! I-” she said before her knees trembled. “Okayokay, down!”Sara quickly helped her sit back on the bed. “All right, good job, mama! But no more of that until I see more leg improvement.”“Fine with me. That’s...that’s just what I needed,” she said, smiling at Sara over her shoulder to show her renewed encouragement, getting a bright smile back. “But...is sitting on the ball again in the cards?”“Only with me holding onto you at all times,” Sara said with a wink. “Sorry, but you wanna lie down, you can lie down, but you wanna be out of bed, even just sitting down, you ain’t soloing it.”“Please, do,” Maki agreed.With that, the doula rolled the set-aside yoga ball back to the bed and helped Maki ease onto it. While her legs still definitely weren’t perfect, she could at least spread them in front of her to keep herself steady in a sitting position, letting her belly poke out between them.And oh, did it feel better than being on the bed. So much so that she let out a long, low groan as she felt like her pelvis was a little more open. She didn’t know how much more she’d dilated since being checked an hour ago, but she could feel Hana down in her hips even more like this.“Oh, shiiit, Sara...she’s low...she’s so fucking low,” she moaned, rubbing low on her belly, just above her pubic mound as she rocked her hips on the ball, “her head, I can feel it.”“That’s good, honey,” Sara said gently as she pulled up the rolly stool and sat behind her, taking her hips in her hands. “She’s easing herself down. She knows the way out. She’s gonna be in your arms soon, just like you dreamed.”As Maki took a second to get used to this new position, she felt like...something was missing. Like she needed something different. But not from herself, rather, from...“Hey, Sara? Can you...sit in front of me this time?” she asked.“Of course, Maki.”After Maki turned around to face the mastiff, she went on, “And, is it okay if I...um...” Or at least, she tried to go on, her hands fiddling with her gown.Sara chuckled, reaching to set her hands on Maki’s hips again. “You’re the woman in labor here. You can ask for anything.” She gave her hips a little patpat. “Whatever it is, I don’t think you can surprise me.”Here went nothing. “If I, uh, lean into you?”“Sure ya can. Why couldn’t you?”Maki looked up at her. “Sara, I’m little more than half your height and your stool doesn’t go any lower. That’ll put my face right in your chest,” she reminded the dog, then darted her eyes back and forth between Sara’s face and her chest.“And?”“...Would that make you uncomfortable?”“‘Uncomfortable?’” Sara repeated before she let out a short laugh. “Haha, Maki, didja forget you’re having a baby? I’m here to make you comfortable!”Maki smiled a bit. “Yeah?”“Honey, a silly little thing like that’s not gonna bug me! If you want my help, you’ve got it!” She cocked her head. “Why, are you uncomfortable with it?”She shook her head. “No...well, maybe just a little. It’s...it’s just nice. It’s soft, it’s warm, it’s...most importantly, it helps me just...shut out everything but me, my body, and you.”“Then you decide what you wanna do. I’m here if you need me.”She smiled wider. “Thanks, Sara,” she said before she felt it starting again. She took a somewhat forced, but still determined, cleansing breath, trying to keep her eyes on Sara’s while she still could.“Attagirl, you are in control,” the doula said softly.She made it through another deep breath, groaning loudly on the exhale before she shut her eyes and leaned forward, still rocking her hips from side to side (helped by gentle pressure from Sara’s hands encouraging her to keep up the movement) and rested her face in Sara’s chest.Sara, as always, let her do whatever she needed, and even curled her neck down a little to keep speaking to her. “There ya go. I gotcha. I’m right here.”Maki’s body may not have been working how it was supposed to the last couple hours, but her labor kept progressing. The contractions kept coming closer, lasting longer, and peaking higher. Her pained moans were only somewhat muffled by Sara.But Sara’s voice and presence kept her anchored and focused. “Breeeathe with me, mama, deeeep in those lungs,” she said as she applied a little more squeezing pressure to Maki’s hips and took a deep breath of her own.In this position, Maki couldn’t just hear Sara breathe: She could feel it. That feeling was another reminder of what she needed to do. She forced her lungs open, to get all the air in that she could, even through her much louder exhales. Every breath in, every breath out, Sara kept the rhythm.It didn’t stop her from craning her neck up and letting out a long, low groan when the pain hit its peak. “Ohhhohohhh...aaah...Saraaa...” she moaned.She couldn’t make herself open her eyes, but she could hear the gentle smile on Sara’s face from her words, “You’re okay. You’ve got this. Iiin and ooout.” Even feeling Sara’s breath on her face helped her remember to breathe.She jerked her hips around a bit as the pressure grew. Not just in the middle of her hips but the small of her back too. “Owwwowowow...myback,” she blabbed before her voice was taken by moans and grunts again.Her hands slid off Maki’s hips around to her back, where her palms rested on the back of her pelvis and her fingers pressed on her spine, both above and just under her tail, deftly avoiding the bandaged-up epidural spot. They held this position until Maki was able to relax her neck and lean into Sara’s chest again. Sara’s breathing calmed Maki back down as the contraction slowly released her.Despite the pain, the laboring mother knew she had made the right choice in taking the epidural out. She could move again, be involved again. She was laboring how she always wanted to again: Feeling like a participant, not like her body was doing this for her and running away from her.“Ohhh fuuuck,” she moaned, keeping her face where it was as she slowly rolled her hips around.The dog rubbed her back, letting her be wherever she felt most comforted. “How’s that ball treatin’ ya, mama?”“Better than the bed,” she murmured into Sara’s chest, “but this still fucking huuurts.”“Just remember, Maki,” she leaned down so her muzzle was next to Maki’s ears, “it’s pain with a purpose. It’s pain, but not because you’re hurt.”That helped steady Maki’s breathing as she remembered the first part of that affirmation she made for herself, the one she specifically saved for when she left for the hospital.Through their shared deep breaths, Maki didn’t notice a new presence in the room until she heard Jeremy say, “Hi, ladies. Looks like things are really getting back on track here if you’re using the ball again, Maki.”She sat upright again to see him heading to the monitors, sharing a quick smile with him before he looked at the readings. “That’s not all. I can actually stand again. For a few seconds.”“Really? That’s great!” he agreed before he glanced at Sara. “But I hope Sara was here when you tried that.” When she gave him a nod, he nodded back. “Okay, great. And,” he pointed at the monitors, “things are still going good from my point of view. Contractions are picking up, blood pressure’s looking better, and,” he directed his eyes to Maki’s belly for a moment, “Hana’s still just fine.”Maki smiled a little wider. “Contractions are...picking up, all right,” she muttered, looking at the lines on the monitor and flinching at seeing how much closer and higher they were.Sara clicked her tongue. “Jeremy, can you get a towel or something to cover that? Or just turn it away?” When Jeremy and Maki gave her a questioning “huh?” she explained to Maki, “Seeing that bothers you. You don’t need a machine to tell you how hard you’re working.” She patted her back. “We’re not keeping you in the dark, but we’ll handle the medical stuff.”After Jeremy fetched the requested towel and draped it over the monitor, he sat down on the bed beside Maki and set a hand on her shoulder. “Anything I can do to help?”She sighed. “‘m thirsty, gimme the ice.”Sara asked, “Now that things are really ramping up, how about a little something extra? I got some coconut water in my bag. That’ll getcha goin’.” When Maki nodded and Jeremy went to her bag, Sara said to him, “Sorry for commandeering your stool while you’re here, but I kinda need it.”“Heh, my poor, aching feet are working so hard for you, and you take my one chance to rest?” he joked back, making Sara chuckle. Maki, though, just sighed again, more impatiently this time as Jeremy came back. “Or...never mind,” he said quietly as he handed the bottle to Maki.“Not funny,” she groaned as she took a drink.Sara started to say, “Now, try not to chug it, just-”“Hrgh!” Maki grunted as the water hit her tongue. She’d tried it before a few months ago and it tasted fine, but...this tasted awful. In her state of mind, she couldn’t look for a trash can or something, and instead reflexively turned away from them and spat it out on the floor with a loud “pbbbt!”“Whoa! What’s wrong?” the midwife asked, taking the bottle.“What the Hell’s that?!” she asked incredulously, spitting again to try to get the taste out of her mouth, manners be damned.“It’s just coconut water,” Sara answered, looking at the bottle and sniffing the opening. “Still fresh, I always bring fresh stuff.”“Ugh, gimme the ice!”After the nurse handed her the cup, he looked back and forth between the rabbit and the mastiff while the former chomped frustratingly on some ice. “Um...ahem...I guess they say pregnancy does weird stuff to your sense of taste, and this is it?” he suggested.Sara gave them both a smile and a shrug. “Okay, nix the coco-wa,” she supposed before she looked up at Jeremy, “but there’s one thing you can do for me. I gotta answer a little call of nature. Mind if I tag you in?”He blinked. “Huh? Me?”“Yep, you’ve been a great support when you’ve been here. We need ya covering the hospital angle,” she motioned with her head to Maki, who looked up at her with a cocked eyebrow as she crunched up some more ice, “but now I need ya here for a minute. I’m tough in a lotta ways, but I ain’t a robot, I still gotta go to the bathroom, and I oughta do it while I’ve got the chance.” She grinned, looking totally confident in her request, like she didn’t even need to explain she could count on him. “It’ll even getcha your stool back.”He blinked again, looking at Maki. “If that’s cool with-”“Just go, do what you gotta do, I’ll live,” the rabbit cut in impatiently.“Thank ya, hon,” Sara said with a final pat of her back as she stood up. She patted Jeremy’s shoulder and remarked, “Here’s a chance to earn some midwife credit,” with a wink before she hurried out.He smiled back at her before turning his attention back to his patient. “Okay...so, where do you need me?” he asked.She wasn’t really sure. Sara had always been her main supporter and had always been the one she was closest to; indeed, that was the main reason she wanted Sara here. Once she started accepting that Jeremy had more to offer than she gave him credit for, she was glad for both of them, but she never expected him to fill in for Sara, even for a little while.“I...don’t know,” she admitted before pointing at the stool. “Just sit there and we’ll figure it out.”As she requested, he took the seat and scooted up to her, raising his hands questioningly. “Want me to touch you, hold your hands, stay hands-off?”Maki set the cup on the bed and held his hands. “Breathe with me. That’s a good start,” she said, calming herself down to steady her breathing.After the retriever nodded, he slowed and deepened his breathing to give her a rhythm she could follow. His thumbs rubbed on the back of her knuckles as they watched and listened to each other’s inhales and exhales. It reminded Maki of the first time they reached out to each other earlier in her labor and when she started to notice that, while he definitely wasn’t Sara, they had a similar energy and she’d started to believe his behavior wasn’t a mask or a job: When he was caring for someone else, he was being himself.While she tried to keep herself centered for the next contraction, which she knew was due any second now, she looked aside at the floor she’d spat on. “Sorry about that,” she said softly.He shook his head. “Bah. I’ll clean it up when Sara’s back. Besides, I work in a hospital: You gotta figure I’ve cleaned up way worse than a little spit-water.” When she smiled a tiny bit, he smiled back. “This one time, a woman’s water broke and there was meconium in it, even.”That took what little smile she had off her face as she glared at him, making his ears pin back. She really didn’t need to be reminded of that. “Not. Funny,” she growled.“Yeah...sorry, that was really bad,” he agreed shyly.She couldn’t chastise him more than that. She took a louder, deeper breath and rocked her hips in wider circles as that contraction she’d been waiting for hit her. Her grip on his hands tightened as she closed her eyes.“Good job. Deep, cleansing breath. Here you go,” Jeremy coached her, gently squeezing her hands back.She relaxed her neck to let her head hang forward and took another deep breath, letting out a shaky, “Justkeepbreathing,” as she exhaled.He did as she said and kept breathing steadily, encouraging her to, “Breathe iiin,” with his inhales and, “Breathe ooout,” with his exhales. It helped her as her hips circled and twitched uncomfortably and her voice kept rising with the pain even as her moans got deeper and throatier.But it wasn’t enough. As she shook her head slowly and the contraction got stronger and stronger, she remembered what she’d been doing with Sara that had kept her centered even when she was voicing her pain. But that worked because she knew Sara. She trusted Sara completely. Could she do the same with him?...What was she thinking? She had to try.“C’mere,” she whimpered, yanking on his hands. When he scooted closer, she let go and leaned forward, wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her forehead against his chest.He didn’t miss a beat as she moaned into his chest, putting his arms around the smaller woman too and holding her in a firm but gentle embrace. “You’re okay. I’m here for ya. Keep breathing, keep moving those hips, I won’t letcha go,” he promised her as he kept breathing like she’d told him to.The obvious differences in their physiques made this feel quite different than it did with Sara. His fur was softer, but she could feel the firmness of some muscle under it. It might not have been just what she needed, but even through her moans and cries, feeling and hearing his breathing reminded her that she needed to breathe too, and his hands rubbing up and down her back as he held her reminded her that he was being true to his word and was doing whatever she needed him to do to keep her as safe and comfortable as possible.“Back! Getmyback!” She felt his hands move, pressing lower on her back as he tried to find where and how she needed pressure. “L-L-Lower!” she yelled at him before the pain spiked and all she could do was voice her feeling with sounds, not words.As his hands went lower, he said, in a firm voice between her grunts and shouts, “Hit me if yes, but...do you need under...your tail too?” When she pounded a fist on his back, he did what he asked and one of his hands pressed firmly on the underside of her tail’s base.While it only did so much about the pain and pressure in her back, it was another touch that kept her from trying to jerk her hips around fitfully. She was opening where she needed to, not cracking apart. She kept that precious air flowing in and out of her lungs, no matter how loud she had to be to do it, and he kept breathing with her and giving the counterpressure she needed where she needed it.When the peak slowly started dwindling down the back side of the contraction’s hill, she didn’t let go of him, and he likewise kept his grip on her. His steady breaths in her ears, his words of encouragement, and his hands where she needed them...she might be in pain, she might be tired, but she felt completely safe. Cared for. Cared about.Were she not the focus of everyone’s attention, including her own, she would have felt a little ashamed to have doubted that he could be a midwife. Midhusband. Whatever. His voice, touch, and presence may have been different from Sara’s, but she welcomed all of them.“Almost done. Gimme another cleansing breath. Deeep...”She inhaled with him, moaning hard enough that she could feel her ribs vibrating on the exhale.“And ooopen,” his voice layered over hers.“Uuuuugh...”“Good job, Maki. You’re powering through it like a pro,” he said, still holding her.She let out one more deep breath to let the last of the pain out. “Yeah?”“Yeah. You’re Team Maki’s star player.” When she glanced up at him, he smiled at her. “Maki Morita the Comeback Queen.”Despite the lingering pain and fatigue, she was able to smile back, even if just a little. She hadn’t expected him to make her feel so validated...but he’d surprised her yet again. He didn’t know how right he was, considering all she’d overcome to make Hana’s birthday a reality, but oh, did she need to hear that now more than ever.Just then, the door opened and in came Sara with a fresh cup of ice chips. “Heya. Didja have the baby yet?” she joked, smiling wider at seeing Maki so comfortable with Jeremy.“Heh...if only,” she groaned, rubbing her belly as Hana gave her sore uterus a solid thump with her foot.“Far as I’m concerned, you’re still progressing just fine, Maki,” the mastiff said as she knelt down next to her, getting an agreeing nod from Jeremy.She looked down at her belly, then back up at them as she remembered some more of her childbirth research. “Please, tell me this is transition, that this is the dreaded transition everyone says is the worst part,” she half-told them, half-pleaded with them.Jeremy let out a long hum, the kind that made it clear to her he knew the answer and the way she asked the question meant she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Not an encouraging sign, and if her ears weren’t tied in a scrunchie, they’d be flopped back by now.Sara offered her the ice chips and answered for him, “Let me put it this way, sweetheart: You might be, but I think you’re gonna know darn sure when you are.”That sounded enough like a “no” to her, and she sighed as she tilted some ice into her mouth. “Can you check me while we got a sec?” she asked Jeremy.“Yuhuh, sure.” He and Sara took her arms and helped her get back on the bed, and Sara moved her to sit up against the head of the bed as he put on a glove.“Say, hon, if you’re worried about being discouraged, what if Jeremy just gives me the number and tells you if you’re making progress?” Sara offered as she held Maki’s hand and he leaned over to move her gown out of the way.After Maki nodded, her lip twitched as Jeremy examined her. Full sensitivity was definitely still there, that was sure.“Okay, close your eyes,” Jeremy advised. After she shut them for a few seconds, he patted her leg. “Well, yep, you’re progressing, and if you want an idea of how much...” he trailed off to give her a chance to answer, which she did with another nod, “best I can put it without hard numbers is, ‘You’re movin’ along at a decent pace.’”She smiled at being told this was, indeed, still going somewhere and the pain indeed meant progress, though she had to ask, “So I’m still kinda...average?”He chuckled. “If the ‘average’ woman could get a failed epidural and still make this big of a comeback, which is anything but average.”“...You’re a good teammate, Jeremy,” she noted, getting a wag of his tail as she reached for the ice cup, “then I’ll keep at it. Help me back.”Sara also nodded in approval as they helped Maki to the edge of the bed, then glanced at the cup as Maki chewed on some ice. “Here’s another idea,” she looked at Jeremy as she got back on the rolly stool, “got any popsicles here?”He grinned at her before looking at the questioning Maki. “Favorite flavor?”The rabbit didn’t expect that question, but that sounded better than boring old ice. “Cherry,” she answered with a smile as she sat back on the ball. Winking at her, he hurried out of the room. Alone with Sara again for the moment, she looked down at her belly and asked, “Popsicles, huh?” as she rubbed the sore bump.“Sure. It’ll cool you down, keep your throat wet, and just cause you’re having a baby doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a little treat,” Sara said proudly. “We can even let it melt a little in the ice when you’re contracting, give the ice a little flavor.”“Hahaha...Sara? Why didn’t I let you be my midwife and not just my doula?” she sighed.The dog moved closer and put a hand on Maki’s shoulder. “I appreciate the offer, but how about we save the ‘if only I’d’ thoughts for the post-birth visit, Maki? The here and now,” she set her other hand on top of Maki’s, gently rubbing her belly with the rabbit, “and this little bit of your future about to join us is what matters. Any way you need me, even if the doctor ends up not knowing a baby’s butt from a baby’s head and I gotta catch this kit, I’m stepping up. I’ve done that before, and if I gotta, I’ll do it again.”By now, the rabbit knew much, much better than to tempt fate by hoping for an incompetent doctor so Sara could be the catcher, especially since she had a very real worry that Hana would need more help at birth than most babies and she would much rather her child have three competent helpers on deck, not two helpers plus one idiot.Still...“You’re...very good, Sara,” she said as she looked up at the dog, letting the feeling of safety sink in as Sara touched her belly and Hana tap-tapped their palms.Though she couldn’t see it, Sara’s tail twitched at the compliment. “Hmhm. It’s why people like me are here.” As hasty footsteps already returned to the door, she added, “Him too, in my opinion.”“Mine, too,” Maki thought as Jeremy came back in. It kept the smile on her face when he came in humming an ice cream truck tune and handed her a cup holding a popsicle.A grape popsicle.“Sorry, outta cherry,” he apologized. “Darnedest thing, I’ve worked here for almost a year and never saw us run totally out of one flavor.”“Ugh...I always hated grape,” Maki grumbled as she took it out anyway.He kept an eye on her as she licked it. “Please, if you gotta spit, spit into the cup, that’s why I-”Jeremy was interrupted by her taking a big chomp out of it. Pregnancy may not have twisted her taste for grape flavoring as much as it did her taste for coconut, but at least it was bearable. And a refreshing coolness for the furnace her body was turning into. And sweet. Screw it, she’d take all the comfort she could get.“Easy there,” Sara warned her as she gulped it down and took another bite, “you’re gonna get brain freeze.”She hmphed as she swallowed again. “My head’s been a fucking mess today, and it’s still not all better. It can’t possibly be worse than a combo of contraction pain and epidural dizziness.”The dogs looked at each other with a shrug as Maki quickly finished the popsicle. It was a tiny comfort, but it was a welcome one, though the taste of grape still wasn’t too pleasant.“Can I get a- aaah,” she exhaled. Sara moved closer to offer to hold her again, but she shook her head, sliding the stick in the cup and reaching up to her temple to rub it. “Brain freeze...owww...”“Hmhm, I don’t mean to say I told you so, but-”“Hoooh, okayokay, contraction,” she panted in short order as she hurriedly held up the cup to Jeremy and took a deep breath. While brain freeze was, indeed, easier to deal with than contraction pain and epidural daze, the latter had gotten better over the last hour while the former had only gotten more intense. Like right now. Only a second later, Maki was back in Sara’s arms and trying to shut out the world as her hips lightly bounced on the ball to both encourage and ease the growing pressure in them.Jeremy set the cup on the floor and knelt next to Maki. “If you can roll forward a little, I can get your hips,” he offered. As Sara held her steady on the ball, she moved away from the bed enough that he could kneel behind her and knead her hips, his hands firm and gentle, much like Sara’s.“Harder!” she barked at him. “Harder...mm, haaah, ohhh fuck, like that.” Fuck, that felt better. Not “good,” but definitely better. When Sara’s hands joined Jeremy’s to give more counterpressure to her back, Maki had just enough of her voice to shout at him, “After this, gimme another! Orange!” before pressing her forehead against Sara’s torso and letting her words be once again replaced by sounds and movements. She heard him and Sara chuckle in reply.For now, with both of her supporters where she needed them, she had just what she wanted. She may have been getting more demanding, but as much as her thoughts were on Hana and herself, she was truly grateful for both of them. All they’d done was encourage her and guide her through this once-in-her-lifetime experience.Things had gone wrong with her labor, and it wasn’t over yet. But she knew it was okay. It was okay for her to be loud, to shout, to swear. To make noise one minute and withdraw into herself the next. To not want to be touched or not want to be let go. To be sweaty and raw and animalistic. To cry, to admit this was harder than anything she’d ever done in ways she never expected, and to admit she needed help. All those feelings weren’t being held back, they were either vented straight from the heart or turned into energy to use to have her baby.She made a promise to Hana all those months ago, a promise she meant more than any she’d ever made: She would never give Hana anything less than her best. The trial of childbirth might have beaten her once. She wasn’t letting it happen a second time.Labor hadn’t gone how she wanted or planned for, but if she could stay like this, with Sara on one side and Jeremy on the other while she moved and vocalized and worked through the still-growing waves, she would, right up to her birth. It was happening like it was supposed to, again.–The sun was setting, turning the sky that special shade of blue mixed with orange and red, despite the lack of clouds for it to paint. It had likewise cast its warm, calm colors through the hospital windows, especially Maki’s room, which had the lights dimmed. Off in the distance, if one looked at the sky from the right angle, the moonrise was starting. That calm was one of several things Maki needed, and had she been earlier in labor (or, better, holding her baby right now), she would have been basking in the glow. But as it happened, the transitionary period from day to night mirrored the state she was in, even if her own state was anything but calm.Sara and all that research of hers had not lied at all: Maki knew when she was in transition. Another thing they were right about: Transition did not fuck around. Her contractions went from long, strong, and close together to a rollercoaster with no brakes. It was hard to tell which was harder to cope with, laboring in bed with a failed epidural or this, but she had no doubt this was more painful.At least she’d been one of the lucky ones who got her legs back only a couple hours after her epidural was taken out, and boy, did she make use of them as the intensity grew even further at the end of active labor. She was all over the place, mentally and physically. She bounced and rocked on the yoga ball, lay on alternating sides on the bed, got on her knees and leaned against the head of the bed, pulled up the grab bar and sat on the bed while leaning against it...she just couldn’t sit still.It didn’t help that the pressure in her hips, which had slowly grown through her labor, was getting really hard to deal with, but she didn’t feel like it was time to push yet, leaving her in a grueling middle ground.Finally, Maki hit on something that worked, or at least a position she didn’t want to move out of: On the bed, on her hands and knees, slowly shaking her hips back and forth, with Sara straddling the bed as she sat in front of her, supported by its upraised head. Here and there, she’d lifted the towel off the monitors to peek at things before turning her attention back to Maki. When Jeremy was here, he either stood by the head of the bed or sat beside or behind her. While her gown kept her decent, she didn’t want to cover herself up further with a sheet or towel. She didn’t want to be touched from her belly downward. If someone came in and saw her like this, she couldn’t care less, and not just because the only other person who’d been in and out was Jeremy, who had seen it already. Inhibition and shame had fallen to the wayside.She either stared at Sara’s face, at the blue of her scrub top, at the bed, or just shut her eyes. Not only did she not want to be touched unless she reached out for it, but she also didn’t even want to speak or be spoken to. She wanted Sara and Jeremy nearby, but that was all she wanted for now. She’d almost completely withdrawn into herself just to hold it together, which had become a delicate balancing act.So, there she’d planted herself for...she didn’t know how long. Her body was pushing itself to new limits and time was a blur.And she still didn’t regret her choice to go back to natural labor.She was sweaty, tired, and burning from a fire deep within, but that fire wasn’t just physical. As the pain grew, so did her determination. This was going somewhere; this would have an end. Her body, mind, and spirit had reconnected with themselves and each other and she wasn’t going to let them lose their grip again.Speaking of grips, Maki’s head hung forward and her hands tightened around the sheets as she pulled in another deep breath. Her hip shaking turned more to hip jerking. She didn’t even have time to take more than a cleansing breath during her contractions anymore before she could only moan, groan, grunt, and shout.Her doula, still reading her signs perfectly, leaned forward and set her hands next to Maki’s on the bed but didn’t touch her or speak. If Maki needed hands to hold, hers were right there, and the rabbit knew Sara’s observant eyes and ears were watching and listening to everything. She just breathed loudly and steadily to help the heavily laboring mother focus.She rocked her body back and forth, her hands squeezing tighter as her voice got louder. She focused on that mental image of a channel open from her mouth down to her chest, with her heart pounding and keeping the rest of her body pushing past its limits. The air she took in her lungs fanned its fire as she breathed all the negative energy out of her in long, low rumbles, closer to animalistic growls at this point.As her belly squeezed harder and tighter around her kit, she felt Hana’s head, that heavy, hard, round thing, press against her cervix even harder. At least it was pounding on her cervix and not her back in this position, but it still made her spread her legs and wiggle her hips uncomfortably. She tried to think “open” thoughts, but she just wasn’t at that point of pushing Hana down to really open herself up. She didn’t want to push against a door that she could feel was closed, but damn if she and Hana weren’t pounding their fists against it and yelling at it to open up.God fucking damn it, she expected pushing to hurt worse than this, but she just wanted to push, not be pushed.Maki squeezed the sheets in her fists as she practically curled into a ball around her belly and let out a string of deep-throated growls. She didn’t want to look at the contraction monitor anymore, but these peaks had better be off the charts if they were going to get this strong.She kept voicing her pain, frustration, and impatience as things dwindled down. It was amazing how the levels of tightness and tension that were once the peaks of her contractions, or that were points where she decided she was done with labor and wanted an epidural, were now gentle mercies, short though they were. And she thought progress was painful before.Over her heartbeat pounding so hard it was like her heart was in her head, she heard Sara again, who she couldn’t hear over the noise she was making both with her voice and in her own head. She hadn’t broken the tempo of her breathing at all, and control was back in Maki’s grasp as she heaved in her breaths. Thanks to Sara, she was still able to pace her breathing and keep her body from burning out and getting lightheaded again.She had no idea how she’d thank Sara for this, but by God, she was going to, and Hana was going to remember the name of the woman who helped Mommy give birth when Mommy couldn’t have done it herself.As she uncurled from her belly and slowed her breathing down, her ears twitched as she was aware of footsteps coming in. She craned her neck up to glance at Sara’s face, who smiled at the newcomer and then held a shushing finger to her lips and nodded before looking back at Maki and mouthing Jeremy’s name. Maki couldn’t even nod back, but better him than anyone else.Shaking her now-ponytailed hair out of her face, Maki pointed at the washcloth by the bedside as the nurse quietly walked back into her field of vision, smiling at her as he lifted the towel on the monitor to check the screens, then looked at the printouts while Sara dabbed at Maki’s face. He traded a nod with Sara before giving Maki a thumbs-up, to which she was able to give a tiny nod back. Then he mimed a gesture of putting on a glove and held his index finger up, glancing to her backside to silently ask for permission to check her dilation, to which she shook her head. He just answered with another nod as he fiddled with her IV stand a bit, then sat down next to Sara.As soon as his butt touched the stool, his phone buzzed. After he took it out of his pocket and looked down at it, he quirked his lips before looking at her apologetically, pointing at himself and then the door, and standing back up. Hospital stuff, she guessed. Whatever, he’d be back when he could, and she wanted him here, but she had her own self to focus on.When he walked behind her, she heard his footsteps slow, then stop, then turn around and approach again. Instead of approaching her, he went to the foot of the bed, then took one of the clipboards off. Maki looked up at Sara as she watched him do whatever he was doing. She heard him take a piece of paper from the clipboard, click his pen, and write something on it. Then Sara’s eyebrows rose a little and a smile spread on her face. She leaned down to Maki, her mouth open to speak, then paused.Maki hoped that whatever was going on, Jeremy hadn’t forgotten she wanted them nearby but to otherwise leave her alone to focus completely on enduring transition. She couldn’t afford any distractions right now, not even talking.The mastiff looked down at Maki, then turned her smiling gaze behind the rabbit as she motioned with her head for Jeremy to come here. Maki didn’t hear Jeremy move, and Sara nodded for him to come here again before pointing at Maki. This time he walked back to where she could see him, and she gave him an irritated look.He was holding a piece of paper that she recognized as scrap paper from her birth plan, and he knelt down as he held it up so she could read it. Her face softened as she read the words. They were written in huge letters, but the message itself was short, simple, and very needed:
You’re almost there.
She breathed a little slower and deeper, feeling a bit more relaxed, a bit more confident, and a bit more...good.As he stood up, Maki raised her hand and beckoned him closer. He looked a bit nervous and apologetic again, like how he looked when she set him straight after she gave him a short but effective scolding when he tried to talk her out of an epidural. But this time she only had to ask once, and he moved to kneel closer to her as she spoke for the first time in a while, even if it was only a whisper:“Leave it.”He quirked an eyebrow at her as he looked between her eyes and the paper. She tapped the bed in front of her and gave him a tiny smile, also the first time she could smile in a while, and it wasn’t forced at all.“I needed that. I might need it again.”If she could talk more, she would have explained that if he couldn’t be there to help Sara keep her supported and safe, this would be good enough.All the nervousness melted off his face and his tail wagged as he took his pen back out and hurriedly wrote more on the page. Sara chuckled at his enthusiasm as he set the paper down in front of her and gave her a wink and a point at her face before he took his leave.She read the additions written around the page and let his silent encouragement lift her spirit more:
You’re even stronger than you thought.
Happy birthday, Hana.
You’re doing this.
Rookie of the Year Hana Morita!
Comeback Queen Maki Morita!
Maki knew something at that moment. Sara was who she needed most, and Jeremy may be someone she had only just met this afternoon and didn’t know if she could trust him. She was absolutely not trusting him because “she was in labor so she had to or she might as well, not like she could do anything about it.” She’d seen the masks people wore and was good at seeing through them.But she had no more doubts about him now.He wasn’t Sara, but they really were cut from the same cloth, or made by the same maker, or...the point was, he brought his own energy to the mix, just like a good teammate would: Compliment the strengths, shore up the weaknesses. He truly cared about her and her child and wanted them to get through this and be all the better for it. Just like Sara did.And in a perfect birth, if she could do this again with what she knew now? She’d want Sara to be her midwife and deliver her baby, just like she said. But if she could keep him in the room all the time as their nurse, she would.She had time to let that warmth (not that intense burning she’d been feeling, but soothing warmth on the soreness) settle in her heart and mind before she groaned again and let out a rumbly, throaty growl and Sara started her breathing again.She couldn’t keep her eyes open for long to look at the page, but that central message replayed in her head as she labored harder.All three of them were right. She was almost there. And so was Hana.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 7: A Heaving, Sweaty, Painful PuzzleTransition may have been the shortest phase of labor by far, but it still took too long for Maki.After what she would later be told was some 45-ish minutes of transition contractions, Sara and Jeremy moved the head of the bed up with a couple lever presses and a loud, jerking clunk, and Maki crawled up and got onto her knees to use it as support, facing the head of the bed.Immediately, Maki’s sounds changed even further. Feeling the pull of gravity even more on her heavy belly, on her pelvis, on Hana’s head nestled tightly against her cervix, so much more intense than before, both helped but also intensified things. Now Maki was swaying and rolling her hips side to side almost constantly, her voice rumbling and humming in her chest and the back of her throat, noises she didn’t even know she could make, as she almost lowed her way through each contraction.Sara watched her closely, memorizing her little signals. Maki’s body and movements told a story for those who knew how to read them. Every jerk of the hips and twitch of her tail signaled just where and how much she felt that pressure down there. Every stretch and clench of her fingers showed how hard she was focusing on letting her body move how it needed; the pain and pressure could wash over her all it wanted, but she wasn’t afraid of them. Every noise she made, from soft “neh”s to grunty “hnng”s to gasping exhales of “gah” to hisses of breath and more, all of these things were how Maki voiced how her labor felt, and together, they meant volumes that couldn’t be put into words. Once Maki asked to be touched and spoken to again, Sara alternated between giving counterpressure on her lower back and keeping hands off. She stayed perched on the edge of the bed with eyes on her when Maki wanted to be coached but didn’t want to be touched.Pulling in a strained breath as her contraction peaked, Maki leaned hard on her elbows and rocked her hips forward, belly bumping against the soft bed. Her fists clenched and unclenched, and Sara quickly stood and pressed one big hand against the rabbit’s lower back, giving her a firm and steady pressure even as she rocked.“Mmmmrrrrgh,” Maki grunted deeply, and a small smile quirked across Sara’s face as she noted, just with a quick glance, that Maki’s tail wasn’t just twitching or raising and lowering like it had been: It went straight up and stayed up with that grunt this time, her hips giving a quick jerk as Maki made her not-so-soft noises of effort.Turning, Sara clicked her tongue to get Jeremy’s attention, beckoning him over closer when he looked up. Leaning a bit closer to him, she kept her voice low and soft as she spoke, not wanting to distract Maki from her work, “When she’s through with this one, you might want to gently offer to check her again. I think she’s getting pushy.”Jeremy’s ears lifted, and he smiled, nodding and quickly putting his pen in his pocket. Donning gloves with a speedy grab, he perched on the rolling stool and pulled up to the end of the bed, watching with wide, happy eyes and waiting for the contraction to be over.When Maki relaxed and heaved a big sigh, dropping her head forward, Jeremy leaned closer and rested one gloved hand on the back of her calf under the sheet. “Hey, Maki, sounded to me and Sara that you were getting a little pushy on that last one. Mind if I give you a quick check?” he asked softly.Slowly, Maki opened her eyes, then waved a hand, panting and pushing herself up fully onto her knees. “Sure. Yeah. I think...I think...my body’s already pushing a little.”“I think you’re right.” Sara smiled and rubbed her back, then handed her the cup of ice and water, still lightly flavored with her last orange popsicle.Taking a quick swallow, Maki leaned forward on her elbows and bowed her head, grumbling. “You gotta put up with this position though, I ain’t moving.”Jeremy chuckled as he came up a little closer, shaking his head. “You’re just fine, mama. Okay, here I come...” This time, Maki didn’t even flinch as he inserted his finger. A search, and then a smile spread across Jeremy’s face, his eyes twinkling as he removed his hand. “Yep, you’re there. 6 centimeters, baby’s real low, and you’re nice and effaced, ready to rock. Way to kick some ass, Comeback Queen.”Sara beamed, and even the exhausted Maki smiled, pumping a fist into the air. “Hell yeah.”“‘Hell yeah’ is right,” Jeremy agreed. “M’kay, so you can push whenever you feel ready, okay? Just listen to your body and don’t push if you don’t have a contraction. I’m gonna go ahead and leave the monitors on ya while you push, okay? Listen to Hana’s heart, make sure she’s handling things alright.” He lifted the towel off the monitor and set it aside. “I’m gonna have to take this off now, I gotta make sure she stays okay.”With a sigh, Maki gave in, nodding and shifting her hips side to side a bit. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine.”Sara drew close, offering her the drink again. “I know you wanna get her out pronto, but start off nice and easy with pushing, okay? No huge, purple-faced pushes. Use your breath and your voice and bear down gently. You’ll get in the groove soon enough.”Jeremy nodded. “Don’t rush it. Feel out what’s right. Hana knows the way out, just keep getting that air down to her and to you.”Maki nodded back, taking another big drink and handing the cup back to Sara as she chomped at the ice and swallowed, then gave them a single shushing command to “Shh.” Licking her lips, she leaned forward on her elbows again, straightening her back, closing her eyes and breathing deeply and steadily.Sara couldn’t help but smile proudly to herself. This was definitely the look of a parent who was fully ready now, centering themselves. She was quietly impressed with how far Maki had come, and how she had handled all of the twists and turns of her labor with grace.While on the outside she looked ready and focused, Maki’s thoughts were going at lightspeed. In the minutes of heavy, patient silence between the end of labor and the start of pushing, she had one last chance to reflect on everything that led her here.An accidental conception against birth control and age. Over a month of denial. Laura forcing her to face the facts. The pregnancy test, the blood test, and then the first time she saw a blurry, indistinct blob on the ultrasound that confirmed she was going to have a baby. Days of tearful worry at what she was facing by choosing to have and raise her child. The sire giving up his chance to be called a father. Giving Hana her name. The first time she felt Hana move. Meeting Sara, her new friend when she needed one. Planning a home to move into with Mom. The hours upon hours upon hours of learning about pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for a baby over the last 7 months. Going through a labor that was tougher than she expected in ways she hadn’t planned for.Finally...she was here. She’d made it this far. It was really going to happen. After years of dreaming of this day, then years of thinking she had lost her chance, now it was finally here. She was really at the very last step of bringing her kit into the world. All she had to do was give it everything she had left.She’d never been more ready for anything in her life.Pulling in and puffing out a few slow, deep breaths, Maki opened and closed her hands as the contraction’s wave slowly moved over and through her. It climbed, and she felt, deep in her core, a nudge. Stronger this time than it had been the last few contractions. Almost like an ache...or even a gentle but firm command.Push.Curling her fingers into her palms, Maki leaned hard on her elbows, bowed her head forward, and gave her first push. Breath huffed through her nose and then held, a grunt straining lightly in the back of her throat. Effort with the contraction’s pressure instead of being shoved along by it.It was electric. It was empowering. It was...she wanted to say “impossible.”In the stories she’d read of natural births, something she’d read many times was that pushing was less painful than labor. She found that pretty hard to believe. Sure, she wanted a natural birth so she could experience it all herself the one time she had the chance. She wanted to feel that she was giving birth and no one else was doing it for her. She wanted to feel like she’d triumphed over the hardest thing she’d ever done and her baby was her final reward. But a full-grown baby hammering at her cervix and coming out of her vagina? Those moms had to have been crazy...or the biggest masochists in the world. Even after seeing for herself in more than a couple of ways how hard labor could be, she was sure pushing was going to be worse.Maybe they were righter than she thought.She could hardly hold back a shiver as the contraction peaked, and she groaned deeply, letting her air free as slowly as possible and holding onto that delicious pushing feeling.Sara broke into a huge smile, nodding and firmly rubbing her hand in a tight circle against Maki’s lower back, between her hips and under her tail. “Yes, ma’am. That’s perfect, that’s the way. Use your breath, don’t hold it. You and Hana know what to do.”“Oooh...” Maki groaned almost in response, then hauled in another huge breath and pushed again, catching the edge of the contraction’s peak as it coasted down the other side. She stayed with it, trembling a bit and holding the push as long as she dared.Jeremy let Sara focus on Maki while he mostly kept his eyes on the monitor screen, but he still was almost in awe, a small smile on his face and his eyes wide. When Maki groaned and relaxed, leaning hard against the bed again, he nodded, patting her calf lightly with one gloved hand. “Nice work, Maki. Hana’s heart rate held nice and steady while you pushed. She’s as ready to come be with you as you are. You’re both doing amazing,” he encouraged her.“Thank you,” Maki hoarsely whispered, pumping one fist in the air, then sighing and adjusting her positioning. “Mmh. Lemme...lemme try pushing here for one more and then I think I wanna like...lay down or something. My knees hurt.”“You got it, honey. Anything you want.” Sara nodded, taking the cloth off of the back of her neck. She quickly used it to wipe Maki’s sweaty face, then refolded it and returned it, and Maki gave her a crooked smile in return.As they waited, Maki shifted, clearly uncomfortable but also very clearly preparing. Her brow was knitted, her gaze firm as she moved her knees a bit further apart and rested her hands on the bed, holding herself up straight with her belly resting deep and heavy dropped against her thighs. She focused on that mental image she’d had in her mind: Her beloved Hana, here at last and in her arms, safe and sound.The next surge roared through her quickly, and she remained in her position as she almost immediately sunk into a push. Her head slowly dropped forward, her jaw set, and her eyes stared distant holes into the wall just above the head of the bed, looking through it and at nothing at the same time. Her focus was entirely pulled into her body at this point, listening to every movement, flicker of pain, and the pressure nestled deep inside her hips. Hana was telling her she was ready to come out now: She just had to help her get here.Jeremy and Sara shared a glance as she pushed, both of them looking proud and excited. As Maki alternated between deep breaths, low groans, and steady pushes, Sara slowly pulled her hand away and sat back, just watching the laboring rabbit. Jeremy did the same, jotting a few things down on his clipboard and checking the time with the clock on the wall before setting his things aside and turning his full attention to Maki as she pushed.She all but growled as she released her push, throwing her head back and panting roughly as the last tendrils of the contraction let go of her body. Sara immediately stood, grabbing up the ice and water and retrieving the cloth from the back of Maki’s neck. “Good. Nice work, nice big breaths. Slow that down, if you can. Here.”She took Maki’s hand and guided it to the cup, and Maki nodded and took a big mouthful of the cold water, closing her eyes and trying to settle her breathing. “Mm. Hmmm.” She swallowed, then licked her lips. “I can’t believe it, but...you were right, Sara. It feels good to push.”“Good!” Sara grinned, refolding the washcloth and very gently wiping Maki’s face. “It should feel pretty good. You’re working with the pressure now, opening all of that up and bringing Hana down and out. You’re letting your body release all those happy hormones. You want her out, Hana wants out, you’re working together as mother and baby, just like all through your pregnancy.”“Mmh. Yeah...” Maki nodded, taking another big drink before opening her eyes and holding the cup back out. “Can you help me lay back? My knees are killing me.”“Absolutely, hun. You want the bed propped up still so you can be sat up or you wanna lay down full?”“Nuh uh. Up. Up up.” Maki flailed a hand, and Sara chuckled, taking her hand and elbow in both of her own.Without blinking, Maki reached her other hand for Jeremy, who quickly darted to his feet and grabbed it in his own. Together, the two helped Maki turn and settle down into the bed again, back leaning against the raised head and knees automatically butterflying to either side.As soon as she settled down, Maki sighed, pulled her hand away from Jeremy’s, and darted it between her legs. She prodded gently at her swelling vagina, her brow furrowing a bit as she felt around.Sara smiled and gave her hand a squeeze, leaning one elbow on the bedrail. “You might not be able to feel her from out here yet, but she’s in there. She’s coming.”“I know, I know she is. I feel her in there. She’s moving. She’s trying.” Closing her eyes again, Maki puffed her cheeks and rested her head back, keeping her hand between her legs and thinking “open, loose” thoughts. At this point, she knew she was close to finally meeting her kit. She could almost taste it; she was so, so close.When she pushed again, arching her back just slightly off the bed, she kept her hand there, fingerpads pressed against her vagina. There was a slight bulge, a pulse of the muscles, and a few drips of fluid, which, thankfully, didn’t gross her out as she had secretly feared, but actually welcomed the feeling, as she knew that the liquid meant her baby was closer to being actually here.With a groan, she released her push, panting a few times to catch her breath, then quickly pushed again, letting out a soft, fierce grunt and wrinkling her nose. Forget the impossibility: It really did feel good to push. She was exhausted, all her muscles were screaming, but she was working, damn it.“Nnngh!” she finally growled, slumping back against the mattress as the contraction faded. Opening tired eyes, she looked first over at Sara, then at Jeremy. “Is her heart still doing good?”He nodded, giving her a big smile. “Yep. She’s a strong little one. I promise, I’ll tell you if things change. I’m not gonna sugarcoat things, I said so, right? We got both of you covered.”Maki nodded, reassured, then closed her eyes again and let her head rest back, taking a few deep breaths. Her baby was coming. She was here, at the finish line, and she wasn’t going to let her strength flag now.–Trying to rest between contractions as much as she could, Maki found comfort in being supported by the mattress. With each contraction and each push, she tried a slightly new position with her legs: Tucking one up close to her butt, pulling both heels together so her knees were butterflied, letting one foot hang off of the side of the bed, even holding one of her ankles up in the air a bit.She didn’t need to explain herself, she knew that, but to Maki, it felt like she was regaining a bit of agency in this process. She was trying to listen to her body, to give it what it needed, while remaining as in control as possible. Yes, there was still a lot of pain, and that pressure was just indescribable now that Hana was moving through her, but she wasn’t going to be a screaming wreck like those cheesy Hollywood births. She was going to be a participant, a very willing and able participant.Plus, trying all the different positions felt great. She liked figuring out how best to push, where she needed to focus her energies. She loved to think things through and find answers by applying herself, and this was something completely new to her, a test she’d spent so much time studying and practicing for, and now she was proving once again that it had been time well spent. It was like a puzzle, a puzzle she was relishing the chance to solve.A heaving, sweaty, painful puzzle.Through it all, there was that fullness, that pressure, that stretching, that damn near indescribable sensation of Hana moving down. She was moving so...very...slowly. But she was moving. Between and during contractions, the laboring rabbit alternated between prodding at her belly, feeling how different Hana’s kicks were when she was descending, prodding between her legs, and keeping her eyes shut and withdrawing to focus on that feeling. After all those months of feeling Hana’s movements grow from flutters so vague that she wasn’t sure she was actually feeling her baby move for the first time, to definite kicks, to somersaults, to hard thumps, thrusts, and squirms, it had finally reached this, passing through her body on the way to meet her at last.As overwhelming as it was, that feeling of being overwhelmed wasn’t just from the contractions and the pushing. Despite everything, Maki had to admit that she was happy in a way she’d never felt before.Finally, after close to an hour, she asked Sara if she could squat instead of sitting upright, as her back had begun aching. So Sara clicked up the grab bar on the bed and Maki hauled herself up, hanging by her armpits at first and tucking her knees underneath her.“Ohhh...oh, that’s awesome,” she moaned.Sara laughed, rubbing a hand lightly up and down the rabbit’s back. “I thought you’d like that. If you need extra support, I can hop up there right behind you to hold you steady, okay?”“Yeah, thanks...I think this is gonna be good, at least for a push or two, though.” Maki smiled weakly, then sighed, closing her eyes and letting her head rest to one side.A moment’s pause...then her belly rolled, her nose scrunched, and a surge crashed into her hips.Inhaling sharply through her nose, Maki held herself up a little higher, gripping the bar under her chin with both hands, and pushed, shoving her hips forward.She felt Sara drawing closer, her hand resting on her lower back, being ever mindful of the spot where her epidural had been taken out. She said something, but Maki’s mind was too fuzzy with the contraction to fully take in what she said. With a loud groan, she slowly released her push, panting a few times before catching her breath in the back of her throat and pushing again.There was fluid. Leaking. She could feel it, and she knew Sara knew too. When she let go of her push, the contraction still hanging on, she whimpered slightly as she unhooked one arm from the bar, reaching down to press her fingers against her sore opening.Sara moved quickly, grabbing up a cloth and folding it. She handed it right to Maki, who grunted a soft acknowledgement as she pressed it against herself. For the rest of the surge, she let her body do whatever pushing it wanted, moaning softly under her breath and rocking her hips forward into the pressure and then back.When the contraction finally faded, Maki forced her eyes open and tried to catch her breath, lifting the cloth away and peeking at it. It was stained a light green, with not nearly as much fluid as when her water broke, but that shadow of “something’s wrong, Hana could be hurting” was creeping back up on her now that she could see it again, no matter how many times they told her the kit’s heart was still sounding okay, and she whimpered when she saw it.But Sara was right there, shaking her head and taking the cloth from her. “It’s okay. Remember what we said, can you repeat it back to me?”While Sara tossed the dirty cloth and quickly got a new one, Maki nodded and resettled herself on the bar, licking her lips before speaking slowly. She wanted to rest and recenter her mind and her body, but she needed to confront her fear. It was still hard to talk with a baby’s head wedged between her hips as she caught her breath. “It’s...a concern, but...but not panic. Her mouth and...nose, they’ll suction them out...once her head comes out...so she can breathe. They won’t take her...unless they have to. I’ll stay with her. That’s also why...why Jeremy’s been watching her heart.” She looked to where she last saw Jeremy a contraction ago, or maybe it was two contractions ago, or...whatever, but he wasn’t there. “Where is he?” she grumbled.Sara smiled as she gave Maki a new cloth to hold, then a new one for the back of her neck. “He said he’d be back in just a minute, he got paged.”“Whuh?” she hummed. Wow. She was so far in the pushing zone she hadn’t noticed.“Ooh, I knew my ears were burning for a reason. Hi, ladies.” Jeremy chuckled as he came back in just at the right time, shutting the door behind him with a soft click and moving to the end of the bed.“Hi...we’ve still got some meconium...” Maki started.Sara nodded, soothingly rubbing Maki’s back and finishing her thought, “She’s still pushing great, squatting seems to be just what she needed, but we noticed a bit of staining in the fluid, so she wanted to be sure Hana’s heart was still holding strong.”Giving Maki a big, warm smile, Jeremy nodded and quickly scooted over to the monitor. “Of course. Let’s see, lemme peek at your last couple contractions...yep, she’s doing great. Your girl’s got a strong heart, she seems to be handling the contractions just fine.”Maki sighed deeply in relief and leaned her head back a little bit. “Okay. Good. Thanks.”“You’re welcome, that’s what I’m here for.”There was a beat, and Maki shifted herself on the bar again. Sara smiled to herself as she watched the laboring mom, knowing that look by now. She had something to say.After a moment, Maki looked up and at Jeremy again as he started making notes on her clipboard, adjusting her hands on the bar. “...Could you get up here behind me and help me stay up while I push on this next one? I know Sara could do it, but I like...I like that she can see what’s going on, and she couldn’t from back there.”Jeremy blinked in surprise. “Huh? You want me on the bed with you?” he asked. “Are you comfortable with me there?”Maki wanted to roll her eyes at him again, but it was a fair question. Jeremy and Sara had both been respectful through her whole labor of times when she didn’t want to be touched and even of times when she didn’t want to be spoken to. Not to mention, this was asking for him to do more than she’d asked of him before, even though she had a reason for wanting Sara to keep an eye on things. Sara was her doula, Jeremy was her nurse, and Jeremy had always been true to his word of not getting between her and Sara. Getting that involved wasn’t his place, was it?But, again, trying to get a baby out of her made her really need to just get to the point.“Need it or not, I want your help, Jeremy. You wanna be a midwife someday? Midhusband, mid-what-the-Hell-ever? You wanna help?” she asked with an impatient look, getting a nod from him. “Then help. Again.”Were she not so inwardly focused, she’d have found it cute how hard his tail wagged until he calmed down a second later. Praising a good student, one of her favorite things to do.Then he nodded and quickly set his usual clipboard and pen down, moving right over to her other side. “Of course, Maki! Heck yeah. Alright, here I come.” Jeremy rested one gentle hand on Maki’s hip, then the other on the head of the bed, climbing in behind Maki without jostling her too much. Since the bed was sized for Maki, he took up a lot of the remaining room, but that was fine with her: If she needed to lean back against something, she’d rather it be him than the bed right now.Once he was fully on, he smiled, moving his hand to her shoulder and resting the other low on her hip. “There. How’s that?”“Great...thank you.” Maki nodded, then blew out her breath and closed her eyes as she waited for the next contraction.When it came, when she tensed with the surge, she immediately bowed her head forward and pushed, a groan bubbling in the back of her throat. Trusting that Jeremy was there and he wasn’t going to let her fall, she let a bit more of her weight hang back, rocking and swaying her hips a bit.As promised, and with strong, steady hands, Jeremy held her up, his expression soft but concentrated as he tried to follow her movements.Sara couldn’t help but smile as she watched, and after a moment, she quietly took the cloth from Maki and moved the rolly stool to the bottom of the bed, pressing the cloth with a gentle but firm pressure against her bulging vagina.The three of them worked together like this through the rest of the contraction, through the loud and crashing peak and then down the other side, Sara applying a bit of counterpressure to help Maki focus on a point to push against, Jeremy keeping her steady so she could move freely, and Maki rocking back and forth and groaning deeply. Finally, when she relaxed, she unhooked her elbows from the bar and slumped down onto her knees, panting hard.Jeremy smiled and rubbed his hands up and down both of her hips, speaking softly, “Nice work, Maki. You’re doing amazing.”Sara nodded as she withdrew the cloth, using her other hand to rub Maki’s upper arm. “You’re gonna see your baby in no time.”Panting, Maki slowly stretched her arms a bit, then, still holding the bar with one hand, she reached between her legs and prodded at her opening again, huffing a soft, tired breath. “C’mon, Hana. C’mon.”“Yeah, that’s right, come right on out, ya big goober!” Sara cheered, making everyone in the room laugh a little bit.The smile lingering on her face, Maki turned and peeked over her shoulder tiredly at Jeremy. “On second thought, could ya help me lay down? I don’t want my legs to start shaking on me.”He smiled back at her. “Yeahyeah, I gotcha. How about we get you on your side, keep your hips a little more open and the pressure off your back?” At her nod, the two of them slowly began to peel apart and wiggle into a better position.When he started getting off the bed, she let out a quiet “mmf” to get his attention back. “And could you just stay here for...for now?”“Yeah, no problem. They know you’ve started pushing, they won’t page me again unless they really need me,” he said, patting her shoulder.“I mean, can you stay behind me? On the bed?”“...What? I mean, yeah, I can sit here.”She sighed. “Just lay behind me. If you can.”Again, he didn’t respond to her request at first, neither with his voice nor movement, only speaking after an awkward silence, “You’re sure?”And again, she wanted to tell him something inspiring and motivating, like she told her students, friends, or family sometimes, but she didn’t have the focus for it. She looked at the questioning nurse over her shoulder before motioning with her head to the bed behind her, then resting it on the pillow, closing her eyes, and keeping her answer simple.“I trust you.”For the second time in her labor, when her focus was off him, Sara would later tell her how Jeremy reacted. This time, his eyes went wide for a moment before he gave her a big, soft smile and carefully lay on his side behind her. It was a tight fit for him to avoid crowding Maki on a bed that would have been small for him alone, but it felt...nice. She liked being close to the people she trusted to keep her and Hana comfortable and safe.“Okay, I can stay right here and hold your leg up for ya. Sound okay?” She could hear the smile in his voice, and, at her nod, he settled in.Maki heaved a big sigh, and Sara grinned at her as she stepped up close and wiped her forehead with a cool cloth. “There. Get a little rest.”“Rest. What’s rest? Last night’s sleep was the last rest I’m gonna get until Hana moves out,” Maki snorted dryly.Jeremy laughed, resting a hand on her hip from behind. “I’m right here, okay? When you wanna push, just gimme this leg and I’ll hold it back for you do you don’t have to focus on it,” he offered, running his palm up and down her side.“Okay...when’s the doctor gonna be coming in?”Maki fidgeted with her pillow a little bit as Jeremy leaned back and checked the phone in his pocket. “Mm. Could be within the hour, could be just a bit longer than that. Looks like he had another labor that needed some assistance.”“Mmh.” Maki closed her eyes and smiled a little to herself, resting one of her hands on her belly and tucking the other arm underneath her pillow for a little extra support. “Maybe Hana will pop out before he can even come in...then Sara can deliver her.”Sara laughed softly and moved her seat right by Maki’s head, and Jeremy patted her hip in response with a small chuckle of his own. “Well, policy says I’d have to catch her. Hospital business. You’re welcome to reach on down for her too, mama. But I wouldn’t say anything if she wanted to lend a helping hand.”“I could do that. No matter what, sweetheart, someone good is gonna be there to catch her.” Sara nodded soothingly.The rabbit’s scrunchied ears twitched. “No ‘you gotta wait for the doctor,’ no ‘don’t push, we gotta wait’ from you, Jeremy?”“Uh uh. This baby,” he moved his hand to her belly to gently rest his palm on it, “is not gonna be kept from your arms, not unless she absolutely needs help. She needs to be with you, you need to be with her.”Were Maki a little more in the moment, she would have had a second thought as Sara looked up at Jeremy, still smiling but with her eyebrow cocked for just a second. “That’s a relief for all of us, Jeremy, and I’m never one to turn down any help when I’ve got a birthing mama on my hands,” she winked at Maki, “but...you sure about that?”“Uh...wouldja rather I not?” he asked. “I’ve seen a couple moms respond better to negative coaching, said it made them more determined to prove themselves. Heh, I really didn’t get it, but...they’re the ones giving birth, not me.” He patted Maki’s belly. “Do you want-”“No. No. You’re...you’re good, Jeremy,” Maki insisted, looking up at Sara curiously. “Why, you don’t...think he can catch?”She shook her head. “From what I’ve seen, he’s the kind of nurse I wish I could work with in more hospitals. If I thought he didn’t belong here, I’d be where he is and tell him to watch and learn.” She nodded at Jeremy before looking back at Maki. “I’ll tell ya later.”Maki crinkled her nose, then nodded and shifted her hips as a surge began to swell. “Mmh. Ooookay. Okay. C’mon, Hana. C’mon.”“Come on, little baby!” Sara cheered.Maki took in a huge inhale and lifted her leg, readying herself to push. She felt Jeremy’s strong and warm hand grab her behind the knee and she gave all the weight to him as she sank into her push, chin to her chest.“Keep it up, Maki,” the nurse said softly into her ear. “Use your body, use your breath, puuush that kit down.”She could feel her. Her baby was so low, settled deep in her pelvis, and this time as she pushed, she felt her move. As Maki’s nose wrinkled and a long, deep grunt left her throat, she managed to gasp out to her supporters, “Keeptalking! Sayitagain!”They did as she asked. Sara’s chants of, “Come on, little baby! Come on, little baby!” mixed in with Jeremy’s soft but steady encouragement for her to, “Puuush. Puuush.” The encouragement and rhythm kept her from losing her push as she felt Hana’s head, Hana’s body, nudging, sliding, opening her ever more. Every time she thought she’d hit sensory overload today, those heights got pushed higher, and this was getting overwhelming. Gasping in a huge breath, she reached a trembling hand down between her legs.She heard, through the fuzz in her brain, Sara’s soft but commanding voice breaking the chant to say, “Yep, you’re feeling her. Focus on that push.”Maki cried out as she released the energy and breath of the push, wriggling a bit as she grabbed another rapid breath. She pushed again as quickly as she could, shoving her chin to her chest and curling around her belly.She felt Sara’s hand on hers, and together the two of them pressed against her labia. Forget her muscles stretching and straining from pushing; what she felt then made her eyes shoot open and her heart skip a beat.“Hana.”The name left her lips without her thinking it, like it came not from her head but from her heart, barely even a whisper.There, just enough to feel with the pads of her fingers...her vagina stretched to about a penny’s diameter, and behind it, the solid, slightly squishy mass of Hana’s head. There she was. So close, at last, to being here that Maki could reach out and touch her.It hit her harder than ever that she was really doing what she once thought was impossible.Groaning in happiness and excitement, Maki rested the full palm of her hand against the bulge and pushed, her other gripping onto her belly. After the contraction peaked, she finally let the hard heave of a push go, shivers running up and down her back as she slowly rubbed the gently retreating bulge.“H-Holy shit...holy shit, that’s her...” She sniffled, feeling tears in her eyes welling up again.“That’s her!” both Jeremy and Sara echoed, and Maki tilted her head gratefully into the cool cloth that Sara pressed into her forehead.Jeremy rubbed a hand in a circle around her upper back, and, judging by his voice, he was absolutely beaming. “Jeez, Maki, I know you’re the Comeback Queen, but Hana’s presenting after only an hour of pushing? With a first baby? Wow! I might have to hop into the catcher’s spot after all!” he said happily.Sara nodded as she dabbed Maki’s face. “See? What’d I tell ya? You’re rockin’ it, just like I always said you would!”As Maki’d told Sara, she didn’t think of childbirth as a beautiful, wondrous event. It was something you do to get what you want: A baby, not something you’re supposed to enjoy. But now that she’d seen it for herself, while this whole “labor and birth” thing was maybe the hardest thing she’d ever done, and there were a couple of times it had beaten her...maybe everyone who spoke of childbirth as something worth doing in its own right were onto something after all. That feeling that she had grown a baby in her body, kept that baby safe and happy and healthy, and now was going to bring her into the world...that feeling that she’d done what she wanted to do more than anything...she’d never felt more...fulfilled. Whole.“So that's what it's like,” she tiredly yet happily mused out loud.She was doing it. She was really progressing. She could do this. She was doing this. Her baby was almost here, and, despite the exhaustion slowly taking over her, Maki, truthfully, was ecstatic.Not long now. Not long now, and she’d be holding her baby.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 8: Comeback QueenNot long now.She’d said that, what...an hour ago? Or had it been two? She’d been pushing for a long time, that was all she knew.Her heart had nearly leapt from her chest after the very top of Hana’s head started to peek out. It had been hammering so hard as her kit continued to slowly but steadily creep downward. The energy in the room as Sara and Jeremy kept cheering her on almost made her cry with happiness as she felt herself open the tiniest bit more with every contraction as Hana would nudge just a bit forward, then slide back, staying a little further down each time.First, she would stretch only as wide as a penny. Then a nickel. Then a quarter, and those first soaked wisps of her kit’s hair didn’t completely disappear when she stopped pushing this time! The differences may have been small, but for a woman her size, she could absolutely feel the progress. The new feeling of her labia slowly stretching around her baby’s head was...insane, to put it simply, but she welcomed it when it meant she was at the very, very end!Jeremy even had to apologetically excuse himself from lying behind her to get on his phone, and through her deep between-contraction breaths, she heard him enthusiastically saying, “I still need an OB in room LD-S-831, we’re about to deliver here!” before he gathered the delivery supplies and sat at the foot of the bed, still encouraging Maki as Sara leaned over and helped her keep her leg up while pushing.When he got in position to deliver her baby, with Sara keeping a watchful eye on her and him, Maki finally let herself cry again. Hana was about to be born!Was.Her stretching never progressed beyond a quarter-sized ring of Hana’s head. Not because they couldn’t think of bigger coins other than a silver dollar, but because that was as far as she’d gotten for...however long. Long enough that the huge and still rising wave of optimism had suddenly started to decline. All her pushing, all their reassurance that she was doing incredible and everything was going great and to just keep at it, they weren’t doing anything anymore.Jeremy, bless him, had proved to be just as helpful as Sara, continually monitoring Hana’s heart rate, updating Maki every single time she asked how Hana was doing, and adding his encouraging voice and comforting touch to Sara’s even as he stayed in position to catch Hana at a moment’s notice. She kept her focus on working Hana past this holdup and knew both of her supporters would be ready to keep Hana safe, get that gunk out of her as soon they could, and take care of both of them.When she tried to rest, her body was pushing for her. Everything in her wanted her baby out, but Hana seemed to have hit a roadblock.She was staying open now, Hana hadn’t lost progress, but none was being made either. She could feel Hana’s soft furred head, and a bit of fluid had leaked from around her a few pushes ago, but nothing had moved since.Side-lying had been comfortable, but after a good while, Sara had suggested she get back upright. So for a couple contractions, she sat up in bed, knees butterflied, and grasped the bar for support. From there she moved to sitting up on her knees, still holding the bar.She’d begun fitfully rocking her hips back and forth while she waited between contractions, trying to urge the baby to move down. She could feel her, she was so...so close.While Maki’s joyous energy had faded back to determined focus, Sara and Jeremy had stayed positive and kept her from getting discouraged. They assured her over and over that nothing was wrong with her or Hana: Maki’s skin was nice and strong to avoid any tearing, just like they wanted, but it just wasn’t doing the “stretching” half of that as well as they expected. Or maybe Hana was just having a little bit of a tough time fitting through this last part of Maki’s pelvis. Or, as Sara joked to keep Maki’s spirits up, who knows how babies work, Hana may have been a week early but suddenly now she was having second thoughts. But either way, she was almost there, it was just a matter of time and patience.Maki asked them for help, and they offered suggestions.Once, at Jeremy’s request, they tried a different way of pushing. Maki wanted to be the one guiding her birth, but she agreed to give counted pushing a try to see if it helped her keep her focus. Her supporters’ steady count of, “One, two, three...” all the way up to “ten” left her gasping after just one ten-count push, so they tried a smaller number. Again, they counted, “One, two, three...” up to “six,” which was easier for her to meet, but after two of those, Sara stopped Maki and Jeremy from doing it again when she heard Maki’s breathing, saying she could already tell the rabbit was much more comfortable and effective when she was using her breath how her body told her to.As she rested from those unhelpful pushes, Sara asked if Maki wanted to try some perineal massage. With a little hesitation, she nodded, and Sara fetched a bottle of perineal oil from her bag. After putting on a glove, she dabbed a bit of it onto her finger and, with the gentlest pressure, ran it around Maki’s strained perineum. Even that little touch made Maki shiver: It felt like her skin was aching and swollen to its limit, and from what they told her, her kit had still yet to reach full crowning. As her next contraction hit and she bore down once more, she tried to let Sara’s touch be another point of focus, to remind her that skilled, experienced hands were right there where she needed them most. But it was no use: No more progress, and by the time she could let her breath out again, she told Sara to stop, saying she didn’t want to be touched down there by someone else unless it was needed to deliver her baby.A couple of contractions later, Jeremy was buzzed, and when he answered his phone, Maki had tuned him out, trying to clear her head and focus. Hana couldn’t be stuck. Both of them were right there at the finish line, they had at least one toe or more accurately the top of a head over the finish line.But she was really getting tired now.“Alright. You ready to try a little nipple stimulation? See if we can get these contractions to work a little harder for us?” Sara suggested gently, rubbing her hands together and scooting a little closer to Maki.Puffing her cheeks, Maki slowly sat back onto her heels and nodded. “Yeah...yeah, I guess. I’m willing to try anything at this point.” Chewing on her lip, she bent a bit and slid her hand between her legs again, gently rubbing the top of Hana’s head and massaging at her labia. “Mmf.”However, as Sara reached to open Maki’s gown, Jeremy spoke up. “Sorry to interrupt, but the OB’s gonna be here soon, and it’s not Dr. Jennings. Just, when he gets here, we’ll-”He didn’t finish his sentence before there was a crisp knock on the door and then in strode the OB, with Jeremy moving to stand beside him. The OB was a slightly-stern looking older-aged lizard, possibly a Komodo dragon. Small round glasses perched on his snout, with a beaded chain holding them around his neck.He approached the bed with his thick tail swinging out from underneath his coat, nodding at Sara before giving Maki a small smile. “Hello, my dear. I’m Doctor Thra, I’m the OB stepping in for your usual doctor. Jeremy has updated me on your progress. I understand you’ve been having a little trouble pushing?”Eyebrows knitting together, Sara opened her mouth to reply immediately, but was cut off from replying by a squeeze on her arm from Maki. Sara turned her attention to her, watching as Maki took a deep breath and looked up at the doctor. “Hi. I’m Maki. I...I wouldn’t say I’ve been having trouble pushing, I actually have been doing pretty well with it. And so has Hana, my baby.”Sara added an affirming nod, setting her hand on Maki’s shoulder both comfortingly and protectively. Jeremy also spoke up, “As you can see, doctor, her baby is presenting, and was presenting after only an hour of pushing. It’s getting to a full crown and delivery that’s taking longer than expected.”Dr. Thra tilted his head slightly to the side, an almost imperceptible gesture, then turned and pulled the cart holding the monitors over toward him a bit, picking up the printout in one short-clawed hand and looking it over. “Mm. But you have been pushing for just over two hours, as your nurse said.”Maki rubbed her thumb across Sara’s wrist, keeping hold of her for support just as much as anything else. “Is that a problem?” Damn it, she was losing her focus. She couldn’t think straight enough to hold a conversation when her kit’s head wasn’t just in her hips, it was stinging and stretching her most sensitive areas, not with this complete stranger. She couldn’t handle being judged or talked down to now.Meanwhile, her midwife had narrowed her eyes at the OB, and was looking for all the world like a suspicious guard dog.Jeremy gave Maki a reassuring smile, stretching out a hand to rest it on her hand still gripping the bar. “It’s totally normal, it just seems like Hana is a little too comfy in there.”“‘Hana?’” the doctor echoed calmly, not looking up from the printout. “Please remember to stay professional this time, Jason.”The retriever cocked his eyebrow at the back of Dr. Thra’s head before looking at Maki and shrugging. Jeremy might have been trying to keep her from getting upset, but Maki already knew she had a bad feeling about this doctor, mentally pleading he wasn’t going to be like some of the doctors in the birth stories she’d read, not when things had gone so well with her nurse.“Mm, and the baby’s heartbeat is dipping.” Dr. Thra tapped a clawed finger on the printout.“What?!” Maki shouted. Speaking of hearts dipping, Maki thought hers stopped when she heard that. Her shocked eyes darted back and forth between the doctor and the nurse.Not flinching, unlike Jeremy, Dr. Thra held the paper out for Jeremy to look at. “You didn’t report this.”Jeremy’s ears laid back a little, especially seeing the expression change on Maki’s face, and he quickly shook his head. “No, I-”“Maki-” Sara started to say.“Hana’s in trouble, and you lied to me?!” Maki shouted again louder as she pulled her hand away from his and held her belly with it. “I trusted you!” Her eyes locked on Jeremy’s as adrenaline shot like lightning through her body.She wasn’t even mad, not yet, and she wasn’t just getting scared: She felt betrayed.“No!” Jeremy said firmly. “I’ve never lied to you, or told you a half-truth, or anything like that!” he insisted before turning to the doctor and reaching over the OB’s arm to point at the sets of numbers on the top of the printout, at regular intervals. “She’s still well within the safe range, even if the heart rate has been dipping a bit. I don’t think she’s stressed out enough to warrant intervention yet.”Maki turned and looked at Sara with huge eyes, wanting to talk but her breathing hitching in her throat as another contraction threatened to grip her. Sara saw the signal and gave her hand a tight squeeze, then let go and moved to begin to rub and squeeze at Maki’s hips.Puffing her cheeks, Maki dropped her head and grabbed at the bar with both hands, and Dr. Thra nodded as he looked up at her and dropped the printout. “Alright. Mrs. Morita, show me how you’ve been pushing. Give me a big one, now.”Forget correcting him that she wasn’t a “Mrs.,” her focus was gone. She couldn’t take a cleansing breath or center herself, not with her body maxed out from fear that this was hurting Hana.Maki grimaced, and was grateful when, over her shoulder, she heard Sara’s soft voice, firm like steel, “Don’t let him psych you out. You’re pushing perfectly, mama. Use your breath, just like you’ve been doing.”Maki’s eyes slipped closed, and one hand dropped down to cradle between her legs as she readied herself, letting the contraction wash over her and increase in strength. Taking a few breaths in and out, she finally took a deep breath in and sank into a push, a soft, deep moan bubbling in the back of her throat.“There ya go,” she heard Jeremy’s voice over her own heartbeat thundering in her ears, aware of a bit of fluid dripping from her vagina through her fingers as she rested in the push.“Were you going to start counting, Jason?” Dr. Thra asked, making her shut her eyes tighter to try to block out his voice as she pushed again.“Maki’s tried counted pushing, doctor, she doesn’t push effectively with it,” Jeremy answered.“I’m asking you to-”Sara kept her hands on Maki’s hips, her voice giving something for Maki to listen to over the doctor. It fell over the birthing rabbit’s jumbled thoughts like a calming mantra, “Puuush that sweet kit down, Maki. Streeetch. Ooopen. Come on, little baby.”She followed Sara’s direction, focusing on thoughts of openness and looseness and letting the other thoughts fall silent even as they kept racing around her mind. She wasn’t doing this wrong. Neither was Hana. Not if Sara and Jeremy weren’t worried.When, finally, she released the energy, gasping and rocking her hips back and then forward, Dr. Thra nodded, turning a bit and looking up at Jeremy. “If this is after two hours, I’m not seeing enough movement with pushing for my comfort.” Leaning close with his glasses chain tinkling, he rested a hand very gently on Maki’s upper arm. “I’d like to get you scheduled for a C-section, so we can be sure this baby is safe.”No.
No.

No!
Sara felt Maki shiver under her hands as soon as he spoke, and she forcefully bit on her own tongue for a moment as Maki’s eyes shot open and she lifted her head. “W-Wait, a C-section? No! I don’t want a C-section!”Almost on top of her, Jeremy was speaking too, firmly and directly. “Dr. Thra, she’s indicated in her plan she’s very clear about wanting a vaginal birth, no matter what other interventions are necessary, and she wants a C-section only as a last resort, and Hana, the baby, is still holding on really well.”“Hm. Then perhaps an episiotomy would-”“No!” the word leapt off Maki’s tongue.“My dear, if your baby has been presenting this long, do you not want assistance?” Dr. Thra asked.Jeremy cleared his throat. “She also wants minimal interventions. She understands some have become necessary, but one point of her birth plan states that, while wanting to avoid either, of course, she would rather tear naturally than be cut.”As nasty as the thought of tearing was, Maki felt like the blood in her spine turned to ice just from hearing the word “cut” right now...and maybe her panicked mind was playing tricks on her, but if she didn’t hear the quietest growl from Sara, she felt the dog’s hands vibrating from one.He went on, “We can try a few more positions, some manipulation-”“Plans don’t always go according to plan, Maki, especially when it comes to having a baby,” the lizard said, still unfazed. “I understand there was meconium in your waters too, so you should now be familiar with that. I also understand you want as natural a delivery as possible, but nature is nature because it does what it wants, not what we want. I’m only speaking in your child’s best interests; it would be irresponsible for me to do otherwise.”Fuck, as tight of a grip as she’d gotten back on herself, it was slipping again from this talk of cutting her and trying to convince her what she needed. She knew what she wanted, but it was so fucking hard to think, let alone speak up for herself. What was he gonna do? Would he pull rank over Jeremy, over Sara, over her? Could he make her do it? She’d done her research on patient rights, Jeremy said she could say no, and he would know better than she did. But just because she could say it, how much weight did that have?The thought of being cut down there scared her, but she was more afraid of a C-section, either during labor or from Hana suddenly being in danger before she had even gone into labor. She’d confronted her fears and forced herself to learn more about the surgery to better understand it. She’d promised herself and Hana that her whole long-awaited birth plan could go to Hell if it meant saving her kit’s life.But this felt...wrong. That’s it, no fancy words, no deep thoughts. Whether the doctor was trying to help or trying to get it over with, it was wrong, and she didn’t know how to make it clear.At this point, Sara drew a bit closer to Maki, soothingly drawing her big hands up her back and then back down to her hips. “Just. Breathe,” she murmured in her ear, then looked up at the doctor over Maki’s shoulder. “Sir? Hello, I’m Sara, Maki’s doula and also a licensed midwife. Is there an emergency?”The OB blinked, as if noticing (or letting himself notice) Sara for the first time beyond just acknowledging her presence. He cleared his throat, then gestured to the monitor. “If baby’s heart rate dips any lower, then there could be fetal distress. Plus the meconium-”“I’m asking if, right now, there is an emergency?” Sara raised an eyebrow, just a bit.Dr. Thra sighed. “Thankfully, no, not at the moment.”“Then, with all respect due to you, my client would prefer to have her baby her way.”He still looked unconvinced. “I’m sure Maki appreciates your assistance, but in my opinion-”“I wasn’t just talking to you. Your opinion is noted,” Sara cut in, “and I understand you’re the one presiding over this birth, not me or her nurse. If there was or is an emergency, I wouldn’t get in your way. I’m even ready to help with it, and if you don’t believe me, a copy of my license is in Maki’s birth plan. Jeremy can show it to you, and you can look me up.” She traded a nod with the other dog. “But my client’s the one in control here, she’ll be making her own choices, and it wouldn’t be responsible of me to not let her make informed choices.”“Or of me,” Jeremy spoke up.“In control,” echoed in Maki’s head. She felt a little bit of confidence return as she tried to settle her thoughts amid the steady ache between her legs. Yeah, Sara always gave her all the knowledge she needed to make the right choices.“If Jeremy’s a registered labor and delivery nurse, he’s fully qualified to read a fetal heart rate,” Sara added, “and so am I. He’s done his job of keeping an eye on it, and I’ll vouch that he’s been right every time he’s reported it to her.”Again, yeah, of course Sara would’ve noticed if something was wrong with Hana. She’d been here more than Jeremy had.“Madam-” Dr. Thra started to say.“Show me,” Maki interrupted, motioning with her head to the printout.Jeremy stepped around the doctor, picked up the printout, and moved to their side. For the first time, the doctor frowned, just a little. “Are we going to do this again, Jason?” he asked.“Jeremy!” Maki snapped at the lizard as she looked at the paper through her deep, steady breaths, wiping the sweat off her eyes on her arm. “So...what?”Sara looked at the lines and numbers for a few seconds before nodding and reaching around Maki to point at the graph. “Just like we said. See, Maki,” she tapped one part, “Hana’s heart would need to go that low before I’d say she’s not handling it so good anymore,” she tapped a lower part, “and go that low before I’d say she needs to get out now and it’s time to make a choice.”“In the green, in the yellow, in the red,” Jeremy explained. “She’s never left green. She’s gotten a little low in it, and that was only a little while ago, when she’s almost been born, but she’s never left it.”All of it sounded right to Maki. Sara told her when she wanted an epidural that she wasn’t here to force her to do anything: She was here to support her choices and keep her and Hana safe. Jeremy might have made a misstep around that point, but he was here to do the same. Both of them were proving that more than ever right now.Jeremy looked at Sara and gave her a nod before setting the paper down and moving, again, to the taken-aback Dr. Thra’s side and looking at Maki.Maki met his gaze, her breath catching and hitching in her chest as she struggled to keep her panic at bay. If something was going on with Hana, they would have told her. They’d both promised that, and they’d told her about the meconium, about what they’d do (and might have to do) to help Hana when she was born, about the risks associated with the epidural, about what to do when the epidural failed, about how to get her body back under her own control, about what they could do to get Hana through this roadblock she’d run up against...They weren’t just her supporters. They were her protectors.Despite what the OB was saying, she felt secure that Sara or Jeremy would have said something much, much earlier if Hana or herself were in any danger.Slowly, Maki pulled in her breath, then let it out through pursed lips, centering herself. She gave Jeremy one last look, then reached to take Sara’s hand in hers, then looked back at the OB. “As long as my baby is okay, as long as she’s handling things okay, then I am too. I can do this. I want to...I’m going to keep pushing.”She and Dr. Thra locked eyes for a bit before he trailed off, “If you’re sure of that...”The other three answered in unison, even if what they said and how they said it slightly differed.From Sara, “She said no.”From Jeremy, “She said no.”And from Maki, “I said no. No C-section unless it’s an emergency.”With a sigh, the OB held up his hands and smiled a bit, nodding at Maki. “I can respect that decision. I’ll be back in a little while to check on you and that heart rate.” He looked at Jeremy. “Page me if she makes progress...and don’t delay this time,” getting a nod from him.Maki nodded and gave him a small smile, then turned and peeked at Sara over her shoulder. “Let’s try the stimulation like you said,” she looked back at Jeremy, “and...maybe give the massage thing another try?”Sara beamed proudly and patted her hip, nodding with a determined expression. “Absolutely. Let’s do it, mama,” she answered as she opened Maki’s gown over her chest.Jeremy grinned too, then stepped around Dr. Thra as the lizard headed for the door. “I don’t have to touch you if you’re uncomfortable with me down there. I could pour some of it on for you to rub it yourself, if you’d lean back for a sec and move your hips,” he offered.She shook her head. “I said, I trust you.”“And I’m the only one who feels as good about that as you,” he answered with a wink and a wag of his tail, “but I meant if you don’t wanna be touched because it hurts, not because you don’t like my hands there.”“Just be gentle,” she said, sliding her hips from side to side, “it’s...it’s fucking crazy how tight that is.”Sara laughed, “Haha, I bet it is! She’s got a great big brain, just like her mama.”Amazingly, Maki was able to smile a little wider as Jeremy got the perineal oil in hand again. “For what that brain’s putting me through, and what’s going through me, she’d better,” she remarked.“Hmhm,” Jeremy chuckled as he gloved up again and dabbed some oil on his fingers, “from my point of view, it’s not looking like any tears are gonna be a problem. Everything looks great...even if it doesn’t feel like it. You’re one tough-as-Hell woman inside and out. And, uh, about Dr. Thra.”“Mm?”“I was gonna tell you before he showed up, he’s a little...old-fashioned. Set in his ways. Traditional, however you wanna say it. I was gonna say, be firm with him and he’ll get the message.” He raised a hand as he added, “But trust me, if there’s a real, actual emergency, he’ll be ready for it.”“Mm,” she grumbled. “Just make sure he doesn’t cut me when he’s reaching down there.” When Jeremy nodded, she went on, “By the way...two things. ‘Jason?’”He shrugged as he sat at the foot of the bed and reached to give a featherlight touch on her privates with his oiled fingers, making her hips twitch as he rubbed the oil in before she let herself relax. “Beats me. Ever since I started working here, somehow, a few of the staff thought my name’s Jason, and when new people join, there’s a chance they think the same. After half a year of it, I kinda gave up correcting them.” He stuck his tongue out at her. “Must be a curse on the building or something.”She shook her head before turning her head to look back at Sara. “And, ‘client?’ And here I was calling you a friend,” she asked with a bit of a smile.Sara winked at her as she gently took Maki’s breasts in her hands. “Sometimes, ya gotta use their language,” she explained, getting an agreeing chuckle from Jeremy.That was all the rabbit could say before her belly wound up for another contraction. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She’d found her center again and, having pushed all thoughts of failure and intervention out of her head, sank into a push down in her hips. Sara and Jeremy’s fingers, despite being so large compared to her body, skillfully ministered to her, encouraging her contractions to work harder and her skin to relax.When she let out a deep grunt, swung her hips forward and squeezed the grab bar harder, Sara’s voice was in her ears again. “There ya go, move those hips. Flex ‘em, work ‘em, keep ‘em open. Hana’s gonna get through ‘em, you just gotta help her out.”Relieved that she felt like she was indeed doing this right, she huffed a couple breaths in and out before bearing down again. Her fingers flexed as she felt herself straining against that big, heavy weight inside her. It made her whimper a little from the stinging, stretching feeling.“It’s okay, Maki,” Jeremy said, dabbing a little more oil on her and barely touching her as he rubbed it in, “go ahead and push. I know it feels like it’s too much, but it’s not. Everything’s looking great down there.”Another push at the peak of the contraction, curling her chin down to her chest, and Maki widened her legs and thrust her hips downward even more. Through her slow, steady breath out, a groan of, “Cooome ooon,” found its way in. This was going to go somewhere. She could get this kit out. If she could...just...do it! Her grunt gave way to a hiss as she felt her skin burning a little more despite Jeremy’s touch, and her hips jerked up reflexively with a sharp “ooh!” as if she could get away from the burning.“Easy, Maki, easy,” Sara said softly, her voice like a cool breeze for her sweaty, hot body, “don’t be afraid of that feeling. It’s not gonna last.”Jeremy leaned his head closer to hers so he could speak softer and she could still hear him as her legs trembled. “It means the next thing that’s gonna happen is Hana’s gonna slide right on out, and that’s gonna be the best.”Gritting her teeth, she sunk into one more hard push through the last leg of the contraction, thrusting her hips back down as she let out a deep-throated growl, making herself push through the burn. Both of her supporters gave her a hearty “yeah!” as she gave it a long, strong shove.Finally, Maki let out her breath, panting hard and hunching over. As she got her wind back, she reached down to her labia again, opening her eyes and looking up pleadingly at Jeremy, who moved his hand out of the way and smiled at her.“Every push there, I felt you flexing. That’s good, that means you’re easing things open, not forcing them open,” he assured her, reaching to comfortingly touch her hand with his.“Any...more...out?” she said between pants. When he shook his head, she grumbled, carefully feeling around the damp, fuzzy head poking out of her. “Hanaaa...come ooon...Mommy’s here, Mommy’s waiting...come to meee,” she moaned.Sara, still massaging Maki’s chest, said, “Sweetheart, I think we might need to get your batteries recharged. I know, believe me I know, when baby wants out, baby wants out, and once you start really pushing, you can’t stop it. But maybe try little pulsing pushes for a contraction or two. Or just rock your hips, shout it out, whatever you gotta do, let your body do some of the work. And,” she pointed to her duffel bag, “I’ve got some honey sticks with me. Those’ll give you a boost while you build up for the big finish.”“Yeah, let’s getcha a power-up, like in a video game,” Jeremy agreed.Even with how drained she was, that optimism was back in her voice as she muttered, “At the final battle. Better use ‘em.”The retriever nodded back as he headed to Sara’s bag. “Heal incoming.”Maki nodded too, feeling a bit more...courageous? Empowered? Slowly, she let go of the bar and sat back on her heels, resting back against Sara’s comfortingly heavy, soft body, rubbing her belly between both hands as Jeremy returned and handed the stick to Sara to open so he didn’t have to use the hand that had been touching her, and the midwife held it up for Maki to eat at her own pace and keep her hands free. Sara’s hands were so big by comparison that she could keep up the stimulation one-handed no problem.“Mm...thanks,” she said after she sipped some of the honey. “Didn’t know this’d take so fucking long.”“And you’re still going at it,” Sara said. “Y’see? You’ve broken your own records and expectations at every turn. You promised you’d always give Hana and yourself your best, and you haven’t just kept your promise.” She leaned forward a bit to lightly tap her forehead against the top of Maki’s head. “You’ve given better than your best.”A little smile spread on Maki’s face at the praise, and it got a bit wider after Jeremy added, “Hana’s been toughing out everything, too. You should be proud of yourself and your kit.”She really liked the sound of that.As hard as natural childbirth was, Maki was thinking less of “so, this is how painful it can be...I always thought it'd be hard, but they were right.” She’d hit that point and gotten past it. Now it was more “so, this is how powerful my body can be...it can not only grow a new person in itself, but this is how hard it can work to get her out.” She was both humbled and proud of what she could do.It was time, really now, for things to change. To get going. To do the most amazing thing of all.And she was ready, more than she’d ever been.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Chapter 9: The Flame that Never Stops BurningAfter some shuffling around, some awkward, painful contractions, and some more hard pushes on Maki’s part, the group finally found a position that worked for the birthing mom.They had raised the head of the bed almost vertically, and Maki turned herself around to face it, with one knee raised in a squat and the other tucked under her. For a couple of contractions, Maki rested and let her body push while Sara, snuggled tightly to her side, kept up the nipple stimulation and Jeremy kept gently encouraging her perineum to relax.It wasn’t long after that that Maki finally yanked off her gown and tossed it away. The stimulation was helping, making things stronger; the massage took the edge off the burning and stretching; the honey gave her a quick but effective charge as her supporters got her womb contracting harder and her opening ready to finish her kit’s birth; and she knew Hana was almost here. This was all just what she needed to get things moving again. Fully nude besides the monitors and IV line, she wanted nothing between her and Hana when her daughter was finally born.Rocking deeply into one side proved to help Hana want to move again. When Maki gave her first hard push in this new position, clutching onto Sara’s forearms and curling around her belly, there was a splash of fluid that gushed forward, splattering onto the bed and the floor.Sara and Jeremy had both cheered, with Jeremy actually pumping his fist in the air. Maki, in surprise, had let out a surprisingly high-pitched squeal when it had happened, her hips jerking.Each push, then, widened her a bit more until she was finally close to crowning. Finally making progress again got some sharp hisses and cries from the rabbit, but she didn’t back down. She wanted to feel this, to feel her baby coming.Somehow, through the burn, she found this so fitting. This very position, this morning when she was laboring by herself at home, was the first position that had worked when she was really listening to her body and trying something new and unusual to cope with labor. How perfect, then, at the very end, it would be the position she would finish giving birth in.After quickly cleaning up the fluid on the floor, Jeremy gave a quick call to the OB that it was time. When he saw Maki looking up at him pleadingly, he took his place at Maki’s side with one hand on her lower back.“I know, you want me or Sara to do it.” When she nodded, he smiled widely and stroked her back. “I want to, Maki. I’m honored to have earned so much of your trust, and part of me wishes Hana gave me the chance. I’d love to help Sara deliver, too. But...” he trailed off silently for a few seconds before shaking his head, “Nurse Jeremy, not Midhusband Jeremy. Sorry. Hospital stuff.”She knew what he meant, even though she couldn’t speak through the renewed burning and stretching between her legs. She just gave him the best smile she could, even if it was just a slight curve of her lips, and nodded again.“Jeremy,” Sara said, getting his attention, “you’ve done more than most nurses would. Just keep it up. I got things covered here; you keep her covered there.” She rubbed Maki’s knuckles with her thumbs as she addressed the rabbit, “He’s gotta be the doctor’s extra hands when he’s back, but we’re still here for you.”He nodded at Sara before speaking to Maki again, “I know you may not trust Dr. Thra, but if you trust me, I’ll be in almost the same spot and I’ll make sure the doctor does his part.” He leaned in a little to show he was serious. “No cutting.” After Maki grunted in acknowledgment, he went on, “Pretend it’s me catching if it helps. You just look to Sara: She’ll getcha through this.” He gave Sara a quick raise of his eyebrows. “You really made the right choice with her as your doula.”“Hahaha, just doin’ my best, like all of us,” Sara beamed, “those here, and the one about to be here.”Sara moved to stand behind the head of the bed, right in front of Maki’s face, holding her hands in both of hers. Maki was so thankful to have her to hold onto, as the contractions were almost overwhelming at this point. Despite everything, it still felt incredibly good to push and, more importantly, to know this was finally working again, but the pressure of Hana’s head was just increasing...and it was about to get the most intense of the whole experience.Dr. Thra came back soon after Jeremy had paged him and, when he saw how much more of Hana’s head had appeared, he looked quietly impressed. “Very good. Alright, let’s prep for delivery.”Nodding, Jeremy softly rubbed Maki’s back before pulling away and going to assist the doctor with putting on protective gloves (specially made with insulated, blunt tips for the unavoidable claws) and a smock.Maki bowed her head and shifted her hips side to side, and Sara let go of one of her hands to grab the washcloth hanging from the head of the bed. She smoothed it over Maki’s forehead and spoke softly, her voice warm and reassuring, “You got this, Maki. You have got this. Just focus on that sweet little baby and you’ll have her out in no time. Listen to your body. Listen to Hana. That moment you thought about for so long? You’re about to make it happen.”Maki nodded and grunted softly to show she had heard, another surge of determination rising in her heart. Then, feeling a contraction winding up and not even listening for the doctor or Jeremy, she sank into a push, swaying to the side and leaning hard into her raised knee.“Ahh!” she choked, scrunching her eyes closed tightly and clenching Sara’s hands, who squeezed her fingers back. “B-Burns!”There was Jeremy, by her side, with a gloved hand on her lower back again. “It’s okay, you’re crowning. I can see the entire top of her head, Maki! I’m seeing ears! Push!”The excitement in his voice gave her a bit of strength and Maki let her breath go, quickly hauling in another one and pushing as hard as she could. Her belly heaved and the burn increased. She felt so open, stretched wide underneath the pressure, and pushing against it was exhilarating and exhausting.She sensed the OB moving a little closer, feeling his presence behind her backside, and felt his gloved hands resting near her inner thighs. Everyone was ready, everyone was here to watch Hana come into the world, and she was safe.With a loud grunt, Maki heaved a last bit of push, then relaxed, trying to get her breath back. Letting go of Sara, she reached one hand down between her legs to feel, her eyes and mouth opening wide in amazement as she felt just how much of her baby’s head had emerged. She was squishy, covered in soft fur, and even as Maki couldn’t believe how big it felt, that pain faded into the background as her fingers felt the outlines of the kit’s ears, and she burst into happy, exhausted laughter as she felt it.Sara giggled too, rubbing her upper arm with her free hand. “That’s your baby, sweetheart. You’re gonna hold her soon. You got this.”“Seriously, Maki. Just one or two more pushes and her head’s gonna come out,” Jeremy reassured her, and she nodded, peeking over at him before closing her eyes again and grabbing for Sara’s hands.Her thoughts were a blur of excitement and anticipation, and she was getting lightheaded from how much it all was. Sara leaned in, her nose almost touching Maki’s, and said, “Easy, Maki, easy. Deep breaths. Breathe with me.” She took a deep breath, and Maki copied her, watching Sara as much as listening to her.In and out, they kept breathing together as everyone waited for her next contraction. Jeremy didn’t talk to her for the moment, letting her have unbroken focus on her doula and keeping his hand on her back as he and the doctor traded some medical chatter that Maki tuned out.As her next contraction crested, she inhaled and pushed, leaning into the pressure.More fluid dripping down her thigh, a shove, and a pop that Maki would swear up and down sounded just like a champagne cork coming loose, and all of a sudden, her baby’s head was between her thighs. Maki shrieked, then dissolved into a deep, shaky moan, immediately reaching her hand down between her legs to feel.Jeremy laughed excitedly, rubbing her back. “Yes! Maki, that’s her head! I can see the whole thing!”Dr. Thra was much calmer than the others, cradling the baby’s head in his hands, which were large compared to Maki’s and especially compared to the kit’s head. “Very good. I’m checking for a cord; you will feel my fingers.” He slid them all the way around the baby’s chubby neck, then nodded, looking up at Jeremy. “Clear. Tubing.”Maki dropped her head forward and sighed deeply, happiness coursing through her body. With all the care and gentleness of a new mother, she ran her fingers across her kit’s head, feeling what she’d seen on blurry ultrasound photos and daydreamed about so many times: Her kit’s eyes, her ears, her nose, her lips.“There you are...there you are...” she repeated, laughing again, softer this time.Sara pressed her muzzle gently against the top of Maki’s head, a smile in her voice and on her face as she spoke softly, “They’re prepping to suction her...just rest. Keep your hand on her head, but move it a little, let them get at her snoot and mouth. Breathe with me, now.”Breathe. Quickly, Maki inhaled, inflating her chest and sliding her hand to the top of Hana’s head. There was the crinkling of plastic and some paper crunching. Then the sound of suction, liquid and mucus squishing into the tubing. Scrunching her eyes closed, Maki grunted softly as she felt Hana already trying to turn, her shoulders pressing forward. She barely noticed as Jeremy unfastened the monitors from around her belly.“Easy...hang on just one more moment, don’t push,” Dr. Thra cautioned in a quiet but firm voice, and Maki nodded, lifting her head and blowing out her breath toward the ceiling. Once the baby was fully suctioned, Dr. Thra cupped his hands on either side of her head again and spoke, “Alright. Push.”Taking a few deep breaths in and out, Maki gave in to her body’s urges again and pushed, moaning loudly as Hana finished turning and her shoulders began to pop free.When Jeremy returned to her side, she turned her head toward him a little bit, and he immediately took the signal, speaking softly but energetically, “That’s her shoulders, Maki. You’re doing it. There’s one shoulder...push push push!”Hearing what was going on reassured her. Squeezing hard on Sara’s hand, Maki leaned even harder into her squat and pushed, gritting her teeth as her whole body shook with her effort.“You still wanna catch?” Sara asked, reaching to cup one hand under Maki’s armpit to hold her up. When Maki let go of her other hand, Sara immediately reached forward again to keep her steady as Maki reached down between her legs. “Go for it, Maki! Let’s have a baby!”Her belly heaved, the second shoulder popped free with a small shift of pressure, and soon after, with a gush of fluid and a yell from her mother, Maki finally gave birth.It was hard to say who really caught the baby, Maki or the doctor, or if both of them did, but she came into the world with her mother’s hands around her nonetheless as the doctor lowered her to the mattress between Maki’s feet, rubbing the baby’s chest and making sure the cord was intact as Sara and Jeremy both announced, “She’s here!”Gasping for breath, Maki opened her eyes and looked down, dropping her knee, inching backwards, and peering between her legs as much she could to try to see her baby.Then Maki’s breath caught in her throat.There she was.As tears filled her eyes, it was hard to make out the fine details, but it wasn’t important to her what Hana looked like. What was important was that, on this side of the world, lying between her legs, her arms and legs twitching and flexing, there she was. Her kit. Her daughter. Her Hana. Her wish that came true. Her...Her...Why was it so quiet?Maki’s breath caught again, for a very different reason this time. It wasn’t what her baby looked like that mattered to her most anymore: It was what she sounded like. And she wasn’t making a sound.Why wasn’t she crying?“No.” Her lips moved, but she couldn’t get the word out.Where was her voice?“No,” she breathed.Hana was finally here. She got through everything: Her mother’s own carelessness and denial at the start of her pregnancy, the shadow of the “you’re too old to have a baby” miscarriage chance following her, a premature labor scare, meconium in her waters, getting stuck...Forget what Sara and Jeremy said before, that no matter what, Hana would have all the help she needed ready the moment she was born. She was supposed to be okay now. She had to be okay. Right. Now.Maki thought she’d faced real fear before, during her pregnancy and her labor. Before, it was a dark fog. Now, the sun had gone out. Before, a chill spread through her body. Now, a hand made of ice had reached out of the darkness and clamped down on her heart so hard that it stopped beating.“Come on, Hana. Come on,” she whispered, blinking tears from her eyes. For everything that had gone wrong or could go wrong, she’d seen this moment so clearly for months. For years, even, back before she thought it would never happen. She wanted this moment to be joyous. To celebrate her daughter. The anxiety crushed her throat as she waited, ears straining for any sound.Jeremy was saying something. So was Sara. But she couldn’t pick it up. There was one sound and one sound alone she needed to hear, everything else was filtered out. Were they saying she was breathing? She wasn’t breathing? Was her chest moving?It was like, amid the darkness and the hand of icy dread, time had stopped around her and her daughter.Maki asked herself, “Was this my fault? What did I do wrong? Should I have gotten the C-section after all? How could I have done this to you? Did I, of all people, put you in danger...again?” “Come on. You can do it,” she said out loud again, a little louder, reaching one shaky hand down and through her legs for her daughter, asking herself one last question in her head:
“When you needed me most...did I let you down?”
As soon as she touched her, resting her hand on the top of her head, the baby’s chest hitched, her head turned up to face Maki, and she coughed. Time, and Maki’s heart, started again.“That’s it! You can do it!” she pleaded, leaning down to ease her face in front of Hana’s.She coughed again, louder.“You can do it!” she all but shouted.Hana did more than that. She squeezed her little fingers into fists, curled her arms and legs in, took a deep breath, and let out a huge, squalling cry that echoed off the walls of the room.That sunless darkness and the icy hand on her heart were gone in that instant, blown away when her heart erupted with love, not just like a big fire, but like a star, a nonstop explosion, a flame fueled by love that would never stop burning.Sobbing in relief, Maki reached for her baby, and Sara quickly stepped around to the side and helped the doctor pass the little one through Maki’s legs and up to her so she could cradle her to her chest.Crying with Hana, Maki looked down at her baby, her entire world spinning in a different direction now. Though she was a rabbit, her coyote side wasn’t just clear from her larger size. Her fur was that of a newborn coyote pup, mostly brown with some yellowish tint and lacking her mother’s white-with-a-smattering-of-black pattern; she could already imagine Hana’s baby fur replaced by a coyote’s coloring. Hana had rabbit ears and a tiny nub of a tail, but a bit of a canid’s longer muzzle and the longest legs Maki had ever seen on a rabbit. Her eyes were squeezed shut as her cries kept loudly (and, Maki thought, triumphantly) announcing her own arrival.Giggling, Maki stroked the baby’s head, then her arms, then moved down to her legs, murmuring softly, “Ohh, that’s why you kicked me so hard...you must’ve been really scrunched up in there...look at you...you’re so beautiful...yeah, get loud, Hana. Shout it out to the whole world. You did it. You made it. You...you...”Sniffling, Maki then noticed something else. Wiping the tears from her eyes to make sure she was seeing it right, she stared with her eyes wide in surprise, not even really noticing as Sara and Jeremy helped her turn and lean back against the head of the bed. At least she was surprised, not shocked, this time.Sara started to pull away to help Jeremy change the sheets and get ready for the afterbirth and post-birth procedures, but the look on Maki’s face at what she’d just noticed made her stop. She waited, smiling warmly at her, and rested a hand on the new mom’s upper arm.“I...y-you’re...s-s-she’s...he’s a...” Maki stammered, her eyes still fixed on the kit.In the last thing Jeremy did that Sara would later tell her she saw when Maki wasn’t looking, Jeremy gave the new mother and child a smile as warm as Sara’s as he softly said, “Mm hm. There’s just one last surprise.”Giggling, Sara nodded, giving her a wink. “Guess what? Looks like you broke the curse.”Maki looked down at her son, squalling and squirming in her arms.It was lucky she’d come up with a boy’s name just in case.A smile as bright as the light in her heart spread on her face as she giggled, then chuckled, then laughed softly, and then finally full-on laughed loudly and cried happy tears from how overwhelmed with love she was, the sounds from mother and baby mixing with each other, before she leaned down and kissed his squishy little forehead, pressing her hand to his chest.“Welcome home, Kentaro.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Never Too Late
The Longest-Awaited Day
Epilogue/Chapter 10: The Wish that Came TrueNow that the big moment she’d been waiting for had arrived, the next step for Maki was so, so much easier on her. Her baby boy was here for her to hug and kiss and cry over and tell him how much she loved him in all the ways she could think of, with both words and actions. That feeling of indescribable joy and relief when he first cried lingered during the talks and activity that followed once he settled down to making little mumbling noises.From Maki: “Oh my...her eyes, I mean, his eyes...those are from your coyote side...you look so pretty with amber eyes.”From Dr. Thra: “I need to listen to the child’s lungs, please hold him like so...good...yes, I’m not hearing any cause for concern for now. He will need an eye kept on him until you’re discharged, but he’s not showing any symptoms of meconium aspiration.”From Sara: “Ready to cut the cord, mama? Still wanna do the honors?”From Maki: “And...that’s it. We’ll always be part of each other, and it’s gonna be a while before you’re on your own, but...you’re your own person now.”From Jeremy: “Okay, Maki, now can I take him for a little bit? I’ll be gentle as a lamb, I’m just gonna clean him off and get some numbers while Sara wipes you down. All right...hey there, Kentaro. Nurse Jeremy says you’re a bit of a troublemaker, but you’re one tough, strong kid, right from the start. Before the start, even. I was right, you got that from your mom, and don’t you forget it. Let’s give you a little wipe-down first, get that icky meconium off ya. Aaand here we go, little guy.”From Maki: “Sara, gimme my glasses, I wanna see over there.”From Sara: “All right, Maki, here ya go. Let’s give you a little wipe-down too. Time to find out who won that betting pool on his size.”From Maki: “Heh, there’s only one person who won the betting pool that he’d be a boy, she doesn’t need to win the bet on his size too...excuse me? Could you...say that again? How long? And how heavy? He’s a week early and he’s 5 pounds, 11 ounces?! I made a kit that big in my belly, and then got all that out of my vagina?! Hahaha!”From Jeremy: “I know, can you believe it? That’s like if a woman more my size gave birth to a...times 1.6...something like a 9-and-a-half-pound baby! And with no tearing, even. Awesome job, mama. Now, let’s get ‘im in a nice little blanket and back over here.”From Sara: “Hold him like you practiced. Yep, like that. He knows what he wants, you just gotta tempt him. Try teasing his cheek with your finger or your nip...maybe the edge of his lips- aha, now you’re on the scent, big guy. Just move him so he’s taking in your areola too, not just your nipple, aaand...nom! Perfect latch, both of you, there’s your first num-nums. Now both of you can just...chill, think happy thoughts, and you’ll both do your thing.”So much more peaceful than the last hours.The new mother sat in bed with her kit in her arms, both of them gazing at each other as Kentaro had his first feeding and Maki kept looking in awe at what she had created. It was so surreal, like she was in a dream that she knew was a dream, a dream where nothing impossible was happening and yet it was hard to tell the difference between what was in her head and what was real.But there he was, in her arms, his body against hers, and quietly, happily nursing.By the time the placenta was delivered and she was pronounced to still be in good health, she felt the weight of the last day hitting her. Like never before, her body, her mind, her absolutely-everything had pushed itself past its limits, and as Kentaro’s eyes fluttered shut while he nursed, she felt her own eyelids getting heavy too.There was just one thing she had to do now.Once Dr. Thra had taken his leave and Kentaro had his fill, the doctor left Jeremy to finish up. Maki leaned back in bed with her kit snuggled between her breasts, her heart beating against his as he stayed quiet and his formerly twitchy, flaily limbs relaxed. She looked at Sara and Jeremy, her supporters, her protectors, her guides. She didn’t want to let Kentaro go, but she was beyond exhausted. She’d never been more content and happier, but she knew she wouldn’t hold it against herself for admitting she really needed some sleep. They probably did, too.“Hey...Sara? Jeremy?” she asked, getting a questioning hum from them back. “I know you probably wanna go home and get some sleep, but before she’s- I mean, he’s put down for the night, I gotta talk to you.”Sara chuckled, reaching down to run her fingers on the back of Kentaro’s head as he cuddled against Maki’s chest. “Sure, honey. What’s up?” she asked as Jeremy likewise cocked an eyebrow.“I-”
Bzzz, bzzz
There went Jeremy’s phone again. After he checked it, he muttered an apology, then stepped back and turned away to answer it. “This is Jeremy, what’s-”He was cut off by something Maki couldn’t hear clearly, but someone was yelling at him from the other end.“Aah, yes, yes, I can hear her. Tell her to...just tell...okay, hang on.” He tapped the screen and turned back to Maki.“If it’s an emergency, just go, I’m not going anywhere, we can talk later,” Maki said, hiding her disappointment that she couldn’t do this with both of them here.“No, it’s not that. I’m told there’s a...” he tapped the screen and spoke into the phone, “what’s her name? Well, did you check her ID yet? Then tell her she’s not going anywhere but the front door until you see ID,” he said firmly to whomever he was talking to, waiting a second before tapping the screen, “okay, Shizuka-”Maki’s eyes went wide at hearing that name, and before she could speak, she was cut off.“It’s ‘SHEE-zu-ka,’ damn it, not ‘shih-zu-ka!’” another woman’s voice from the other end shouted.“Oh...no...” she thought. She knew that voice very well.“I...swear I thought I’d muted it...” Jeremy muttered as he tapped it again, “but yeah, at reception, there’s a Sh-”“Shizuka...Morita...” the rabbit finished for him. “My mom.”He smiled. “Ah, that’s nice! Your mom’s already...” he trailed off at seeing the look on her face. It was like seeing a woman who just finished a marathon be told she had to walk home. Sara also glanced at him with a friendly smile and a shake of her head to signal she understood his good intentions, but...no.She looked up at the ceiling and groaned before she eased Kentaro to lay on her thighs, his head on her knees, and covered his ears with her hands. “Let me talk to her,” she grumbled. After he asked who she assumed was the receptionist (and hoped wasn’t security) to put Shizuka on, he held the phone close and put her on speaker so she could keep her hands on her son. She took a deep breath. “Hi, Mom.”“Miyako! You were in labor, and you didn’t tell me?! When you knew I was flying in?!” Mom barked at her.“Mom, just hold on a-”“And who the Hell was that, was he the doctor?! Tell him to let me in!”“No, that was the nurse, and I can let you in if you just calm down.”“Where are you?! Has she been born yet?!”Maki closed her eyes, now feeling even more burned out in yet another way. No getting out of this one. Even if running were somehow an option, she could barely stand, let alone manage anything better than a brisk hobble. “Yes. I’ve had the kit,” she answered, too tired to brace for impact and ready to just let it happen.“Then let me in so I can see my grandkit!” Mom was getting so loud it was a wonder Maki couldn’t hear her from here without the phone.“Okaaay, Mom. Just put the nice receptionist back on and we’ll get this done,” she sighed. She heard Mom tell the receptionist to “talk to her” and, in short order, she’d told the receptionist to let her in.Once the call ended, Jeremy glanced between Maki and Sara as he put the phone back in his pocket. “Y’know, you don’t have to let her in. If you just say she can’t come in, she’s gotta wait, unless you think she’s gonna fight past security,” he noted.“Trust me, Jeremy, it’s gonna be worse if I don’t do this now,” Maki answered. “This just really wasn’t the plan, and...” she trailed off before that made her weary mind think of something. “Sara, gimme my phone.”After the dog got the requested phone, which had been turned off since arriving at the hospital, and Maki powered it back up, she adjusted her glasses at the sight of how many texts and missed calls she’d gotten. But that didn’t surprise her at this point. What she needed to know was how Mom found out about this.After all, there was only one other person who knew she was in labor.And it turned out, there was a missed call and voicemail from that person that had been made only a handful of minutes ago, just one missed call amid the many other messages from Mom.When she played the message, she listened: “Maki...it’s Laura. I have no idea if you’ll get this message, but if you do, heads-up: I just dropped your mom off at the hospital and she’s on her way. I’m so sorry, but-”She growled as she stopped the message and hit the callback button.“Hiii, Makiii,” came her friend’s nervous voice.“Lauraaa...did I catch ya at a bad tiiime?” She let a playful, but impatient, tone creep into her voice for that last part.“Now, just, just wait a minute,” Laura stammered.“I know you said I could call you anytime when the baby was coming, even in the middle of the night,” Maki started, trying to keep herself calm to save what little energy she had left, “so I don’t feel bad for calling you, indeed, in the middle of the night. Especially since you’re already out and about.”“Nnngh,” the woman at the other end whimpered.“But why’s my mom here when I specifically told you to keep it to yourself?!” she demanded.“I’m sorry! I meant to send you a text just asking how things were going at the hospital and if the baby’s been born yet and I picked the wrong ‘Morita’ in my contacts! Once Shizuka got that, it was over for me!”“Ugh, Laura...”“Maki, your mom is scary when she’s on the warpath! After she kept trying to call and text me, she showed up at my place! And you know I can’t lie to save my own life, so what was I gonna tell her?! Not even my ma could scare her off this time!”The rabbit gave a big sigh before saying, “Laura, I’m too tired to be mad. But we had a promise: You’re my driver so you got to be among the two people who knew I was in labor, along with Sara. You also got to be the third person I’d call after the birth, after Mom and Chiharu, because they’re family. But I had reasons for wanting to keep it that way.”“I knooow...”“We’ll talk tomorrow morning...er...much later this morning after I call Haru. At least one thing’s still going to plan: Mom gets to be the first among friends and family to see her- uh, him, because she’s Grandma now.”“I’m so sorry, Maki, I promise I’ll make it up to y-...wait, ‘him?’”Maki’s eyebrows rose.“Who’s ‘him?’ Wait...” Then Laura gasped and her apologetic tone turned into a delighted one. “Oh my god! Maaakiii, you had the baby?! And it’s a boooy?!”“Rrrgh...”“I knew it! I told you! He was too big to be a girl!” she practically squealed.Maki might have joined in Laura’s bouncy response if she didn’t know Mom was storming her way here right this moment. “Don’t start that again. Like I told you, a woman of your species ‘shouldn’t’ be taller than a rabbit and yet you’re taller than me,” she said, emphasizing “shouldn’t’s” sarcasm, “and that’s also kind of a weird thing to say when you were the self-described tomboyest girl in middle school.”“Hey, unlike you, I rocked my style and am proud of it, Miss I-Listened-to-Grayface-in-High-School!”“Guhh...tomorrow morning...er, today morning...later, we’ll talk, you’ll see pictures, and you’ll start your part of the phone tree...and don’t mess up this time.”“Can’t wait!” Then Laura’s voice softened, “And...Maki?”“What?”“Congratulations. I told you you could do it.”Maki smiled. “And you were right. Thanks for being the first to tell me.”With that, she ended the call.Sara and Jeremy, who had silently stood by and traded glances at each other, looked down at her questioningly. “Um...sooo...?” Jeremy trailed off.“Sooo it looks like I have what had better be my final trial today,” Maki told them. “Shizuka Morita, aka Mom, now Grandma, is on her way, and Sara knows this, but she’s...well, you’re gonna see. She’s one of ‘those’ moms.”“Whatcha need us to do?” Sara asked.She rubbed her eyes as she set her phone aside, then picked Ken back up and held him to her chest again. “Gimme my robe, it’s in my bag, and just...stay out of the way and let me handle this. She’s not gonna listen to either of you.” After Sara helped her put her bathrobe on for a bit of modesty, with Kentaro still snuggled up to her under the fuzzy garment, she pulled the bedsheet over her chest and added, “I’ll try to make this quick, but stay here. I gotta talk to you. Both of you.”They smiled and nodded. To busy themselves, Sara took Maki’s patient info clipboard and waved for Jeremy to go to the corner of the room with her so they could look it over and make some post-birth notes.It wasn’t long until Maki heard Mom yell at someone to tell her which way it was to Maki’s room number, and hasty footsteps approached. She took a deep breath. This was nothing compared to giving birth. After all, she’d had decades of experience with Mom...even if not like this.Then she burst into the room.Maki got some of her looks from her mother, all right. Dragging a suitcase behind her, Mom was an all-black rabbit (or at least she was all-black, there was gray peppering her fur now, especially her hair and her face), a bit more heavyset than her younger daughter, and wore a button-up shirt, shin-length skirt, and glasses-and-hair-bun combo similar to Maki’s usual dress code.And she looked as impatient as she looked tired.As soon as Maki and Mom saw each other, Mom stopped in her tracks, breathing heavily. “Miyako,” she panted.“Mom,” Maki said calmly.“Where...is she?” the older rabbit asked, looking around. “Is she all right?”“Right here,” she answered, nodding down at the coverings draped over the kit on her chest.“Oh, thank God...you scared me...I thought something was wrong and they had to take her away,” Mom breathed, holding her hand over her heart, making the weary Maki feel a pang of empathy at how much she’d worried about that same thing.“No, Mom. We’re both okay,” Maki said, “and about that, I-”Mom stepped closer, leaving her suitcase in the middle of the room. “Honey, why didn’t you tell me?”Maki summoned her inner strength for this last little challenge. “Mom...”“How did it go? How long did it take?”“Mom,” she repeated, a bit firmer.Mom, undaunted, was right next to the bed now, reaching for the sheet covering her chest. “Did you go natural like you wanted?”“We’ll talk about that later, and you’ll see the kit in a minute.” She looked at the two dogs still doing their best to mind their own business despite what was going on. “Can you just step out for a minute while I finish with those two?”Mom looked back at them. “And they are...?”“That’s Sara my doula and Jeremy my nurse.” The dogs turned a bit to give Mom a smile and wave.Mom didn’t return the greeting other than with a little nod before she returned her attention to Maki. “Huh...he’s a nurse in a labor wing...well, whatever.” Maki gave her a disapproving look, glancing over to see Jeremy just grin and turn back away. “The point is, they aren’t Grandma, are they?”“No, they aren’t, but my point is,” she pointed at the door, “you’re stepping out.”Mom frowned at that. “I’m what?”“I have something I need to say to them, and it’s something important.”“But, honey, I’m your mother for God’s sake, and now I’m a grandmother!”The only thing keeping Maki’s temper from cracking was her son dozing on her chest. “I don’t need long,” she half-said, half-warned.Maki wasn’t the only one who was losing her patience. “I thought we’d never be here, like this! I just want to see my grandchild!” Mom demanded.“Mom,” Maki stopped her in her tracks. “You’re going to spend the next however-many years living with this child.” She bounced Kentaro a little for emphasis. “To make that happen, these two,” she glanced at the dogs, “are the people who were here when we needed them, and we did need them. You owe them, too.” She took a breath to keep herself calm and finished her rebuke of her mother. “You can spare one minute.”Mom looked at Maki, then down at her still-covered grandchild, then back at the dogs, then at Maki again. The room was suddenly silent, and Maki kept her eyes fixed on her mother. Maki got her determination from Mom, and this time, she wasn’t backing down...even if it hurt her a little to see her mother look a bit shaken. She readied herself to say it again, if more gently.“One minute,” Mom said softly before she walked to the door, then added, “starting now,” before she left the room.Once she was back in the hall, the dogs glanced at Maki, who smiled at them. “Told you,” she said to both of them, mainly Jeremy.“Yeah...you sure did,” he said with a scratch of his head.“Guess we better make this quick, I don’t think even I can’t stop Grandma Morita for long,” Sara noted with a chuckle as they returned to her bedside.Maki hoped she’d have more time for this, but she needed to say this now, when it was still fresh, straight from the heart. “Okay.”Here she went. Better make this count.“Sara,” she began, looking up at the mastiff, “you’ve been the best friend Ken and I could ask for. From the moment I met you, everything about you made me feel safe. Not just cared for but cared about. Someone taught me once that it takes strength to care, and I don’t know where you got your strength, but you really are a light unto the world. Forget being a saint: You’ve earned your angel wings.”Sara giggled softly and smiled at Maki. “Always been glad to be here for you.”She looked at the retriever. “And, Jeremy, I know you may not want to stay here. But while you may need to follow your calling and be somewhere else someday, for now, people like you are what hospitals need. Never forget, you were where Ken and I needed you, when we needed you, and there are others who need you. As long as you keep being yourself, I believe in your dream, too.”Jeremy sighed, and Maki could see the validation on his face. “I’ll remember that.”“Thank you both,” she looked between them, then down at the still-covered kit on her chest, “for helping my wish come true.”The dogs looked at each other with a smile and a nod, with Sara raising her hand for a high five and Jeremy meeting that offer.She wished they had a little more time, but true to form, Mom came back in.As she wiped her eyes on her sleeve, Maki could see she’d already been crying. She walked to one of the chairs and calmly pulled it up to the bed, then sat down, with Sara and Jeremy stepping back to give them space. Mother and daughter looked each other in the eyes.“All right, Maki. You had your time with them,” she said in a shaky voice. “Now...we’ve both been waiting for this. I’ve hoped this day would come someday since I became a mother 46 years ago. I’d given up on it too, like you did. But even though it’ll never happen to me again...” she paused, smiling softly at Maki, “I haven’t been this happy since the days you and your sister were born.” She held out her arms. “Let me hold my granddaughter.”Maki smiled back at her, then lowered the sheet, opened her robe, and let Mom see Kentaro for the first time. She leaned over, with Mom wide-eyed and sniffling as the sleepy bundle was placed in her arms.“Miyako,” she whispered as she cradled the kit to her chest and gazed down at him, blinking happy tears from her eyes, “oh, Miyako...she’s...she’s...” She couldn’t finish her sentence as Ken’s eyes opened to look up at her and he let out a little mumbly grunt.The new mother knew Mom didn’t need words to say what she was thinking. She watched Mom stroke Kentaro’s cheeks, his head, his ears, and coo her introduction as Grandma to him.“Mmm, you know Grandma’s voice, hm?” she murmured as Ken looked up at her with his curious, if lidded, eyes. “Oh my God, honey...Hana’s even cuter than I thought.”Time to drop the big surprise on her.“Yeah, Mom, and...about that...”“Hm?”“Meet Kentaro, not Hana.”Mom nodded a little, then blinked and looked up at Maki. “Maki, that’s a...boy’s name...” When she saw the knowing smile and nod Maki gave her, she looked back and forth between Ken and Maki. “...Whuh...he’s...I have a...grandson?” she asked, and when Maki nodded again, she smiled so brightly she could light up the room. “Hahaha! A grandson! My grandson Kentaro!” she repeated, laughing softly as she leaned down to nuzzle Ken’s forehead.Maki let out a long, happy sigh as she watched Mom shower love on the grandchild she was going to help raise. It was going to be...an experience, raising him with her, an experience that was going to test her longer and harder than pregnancy and childbirth ever did.But it was already off to as good of a start as she’d hoped.“Heehee, honey, I love the sound of that, and that’s a beautiful name. But you know the Morita curse. Are you sure they gave you the right one?” Mom teased.“Couldn’t be surer.” She looked at the dogs. “I’ve got the most trustworthy people in this hospital as my witnesses.” The three of them shared a wink.–A little while later, as much as Maki wanted to let this last forever, she’d committed to memory every detail of the dawn of her son’s life outside her body, and there would be many more moments to come. But now...“Okay, Mom? I’m...very, very tired, as I’m sure you can understand,” she said quietly, “and, as you can see, Ken already loves his grandma, just like he told you all those times you talked to my belly.”Mom, still fawning over the kit snuggled in her arms, nodded. “Yeah. Let’s just put ‘im down and he’ll be here when we wake up.”Maki sighed. “I mean, I want him to go to the nursery.” When Mom looked at her curiously, she explained, “I...we...just need sleep. It’s been a very, very long and dramatic day, and all’s right with the world for now. They’ll bring him back when he needs to be here. I know sleep’s about to be a thing of the past now that he’s here,” she shook her head, “but...I can’t put it any other way. I, need, sleep,” she all but begged Mom to understand.The older rabbit still looked reluctant to give up her long-awaited grandkit.“He also needs to be watched for a while,” Maki went on. “There was meconium in his amniotic fluid, and they...” She stopped when she saw Mom didn’t get it. “Means he had a bowel movement in utero, and they need to make sure he doesn’t get sick.”In all honesty, Maki wasn’t worried about that anymore. She’d take all due caution, but she’d spent so much time worrying about her baby in so many ways that, now that he was here and they’d both overcome all their trials, she couldn’t find it in herself to worry now. She just needed to know Ken was somewhere safe while they both recovered from his arrival, and she needed to exercise some leverage over Mom.Mom held him closer to her chest, looking newly worried herself. “What?! Is he okay?!” she asked Maki, then turned to look at Sara and Jeremy.“Yes, Grandma,” Sara gently assured her. “He’s better than okay, honestly: His heart stayed strong and steady through Maki’s whole labor, and he was shouting from the rooftops that he was here when he was born. I’ve been to many, many births and I can tell you you’ve already got a grandson to be proud of.”Jeremy joined in, “It’s not rare at all for that complication to happen, and Ken’s handled it great already. If he needs help, we know what to do, and we’re gonna keep him with his family as much as we can. No less.” He nodded at Maki. “I made that same promise to Maki, too, so consider that the hospital’s word.”Mom looked around at the three of them before she nodded. “Okay.”Maki reached out for him. “Let me say good night.” When Mom handed him back, she took one more loving look at him before she leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Your first goodnight kiss,” she thought. “Goodnight, Kentaro. I love you,” she whispered before handing him back to Mom.She, likewise, gave him a goodnight kiss and whispered, “Sleep well, my dear,” and let Jeremy take him just in time for him to yawn and close his eyes. As Jeremy laid him in the bassinet, she rubbed her eyes and yawned. “I could use some sleep, myself,” she admitted as she got up. “I’ll just...find a hotel nearby or something, unless I can bum a spot on your couch at home.”“Actually, Mom? Can you stay here with me?” she asked. When Mom gave her a questioning hum, she smiled up at her. “I know this might not be the most luxurious place to sleep, but I...I don’t wanna be alone.” She beckoned her mom to come closer, and when the rabbit did so, she took Mom’s hand. “Not now. Not now that my family’s complete. Please.”Smiling back, Mom nodded before looking back at Jeremy, who likewise smiled at her and said, “I’ll bring you a blanket and a pillow. Hope you don’t mind the couch.”Sara looked around at everyone with a satisfied nod. “I’d say that wraps things up for me, too. If you’re gonna be okay now, Maki, I’ll say g’night to all of you. If you wanna send me a text tomorrow, I’ll see when I can call you and see how you’re doing.”“Yeah. You’re good, Sara. I’m good. Everyone’s good, everything’s good. We’ll talk...later.” She blinked a few times, feeling herself starting to fade now that sleep was close at hand. There was just one last thing to do. “Jeremy, hand him back to me a sec. Mom, get our first pictures.” She held Ken close and smiled for Mom’s phone, already eager to put these photos in her baby book. Then Mom had Sara take a few photos of her with Ken too before Maki set her glasses aside and leaned back. “I got some earplugs in my bag, Mom, can you just hand ‘em to me?”Once she had them in, Maki gave a last smile to Mom as she sat on the couch, then looked over at Sara as she turned the lights off on her way out and at Jeremy as he wheeled her son out of the room. She took a moment to mentally thank Sara, Jeremy, and Mom again for being there when she needed them most.As Kentaro rolled out of sight, Maki closed her eyes and let out one more happy sigh and whispered, “Goodnight, everyone.”Being pregnant had been the happiest months of her life, and it was still really challenging sometimes. Finding out she was going to be an unplanned mother, then a single mother too, was the scariest thing she’d ever faced up to that point in her life. Then there were times she worried that her kit could slip away from her and leave her hollow and unwhole in ways that could never be fixed. But finding out she had been given one last chance to be a mother after all and the months where she already felt a new kind of love for her baby that she’d never felt before had changed her forever in ways she knew she would never want to go back from.Giving birth had been both the hardest and most incredible event of her life, just like she thought it would be. It was even more painful than she expected. It was exhausting in every way. It completely humbled her more than once, harder each time. But she’d had good people there for her, and their teamwork showed her she could truly do the impossible. It’d brought out a side of her she didn’t know was there. She’d never felt more powerful, more triumphant, more in awe of what her body could do.Now she had what she’d been waiting for ahead of her: Motherhood. Just like what led up to it, it would be filled with happy times, sad times, good times, and bad times. It would be her biggest challenge and her biggest triumph. It would be life.And, reflecting on her past, and looking forward to her future? She had no regrets. Never did she think she’d made the wrong choices in how her life had gone. She had her son, her mom, and her family.She already drifted off, and just before she slipped into a peaceful dream-filled sleep, she knew she’d gotten just what she’d always wanted, and now that Kentaro was here, life could always get even better.Maki was never too late...To have the best day of her life.-----Author Notes
GimmeABigPush’s Notes
I’m so glad that her story is being read and enjoyed now, because, at risk of being too punny, it truly was a labor of love.I adore working on character-driven stories like this. It’s legit one of my favorite things to write, and I thank Evertide for trusting me not just with Maki, but also with Jeremy, who I think surprised us both in this story by showing his stuff. I fell wholeheartedly in love with “Team Hana”, and I’m just…so, so glad that other people are enjoying this story too. These characters really anchored the story down, solidly, and made it something compelling to read, but also to work on. Maki definitely wrenched my plans away from me a couple times, just like we wrenched hers from her. Turnabout is fair play, I suppose.Something that I want to mention here is that, as readers of my other work will know, I tend to focus on the happy, fluffy, soft, and more gently kinky sides of this community!But this story? Getting to explore something more…grounded in reality? Showing more of the tough side, the mental exhaustion side, the “what do we do when things don’t work out the way we planned and we’re ready to tap out” side? It really stretched me as a writer, and I loved doing it. It was a fun semi-departure from my super cuddly and fluffy and, y’know, “orgasm the baby out” type stories. It was SO FUN to work on.And it was even more fun to see it grow with Evertide’s additions, and added sparkles, and added chapters.It really turned into something super special, I think. And I hope you all think so too!Thanks for reading. <3Evertide’s Notes
Easter Egg #4: The line about how “it takes strength to care” is me directly referencing one of my favorite lines in one of my other milestone stories, “One Thing Left To Save.”Easter Egg #5: Kentaro/Hana’s names directly reference Taro and Hana, a couple of minor characters from Final Fantasy Legend II, one of my all-time favorite RPGs and Game Boy games. I planned for Maki to have a big “it’s a boy!” reveal from the start, but when I was picking out character names, I knew they were perfect...even though it was a while before it became clear to me that this story was going to be something much, much bigger than I’d planned.When I wrote this, after finishing all my edits, expansions, and so on with the birth story, I felt kind of sad. It at last marked the end of half a year of work. Writing this story had blown all my old writing records out of the water, and it made me feel kind of like, after this...what if this is it? What if I’ll never go this far again?Every time I come to the end of a story I love, in any setting, whether it’s my own or someone else’s, I remember one part from Final Fantasy Tactics Advance that really struck home with me a long time ago. The game takes place with the main character and his friends sucked into a fantasy book and being characters in this world, and how they react to this varies between them. But the main protagonist wants to leave and go home, and that can’t be done without all of them leaving the world, which the others don’t want to do. Sometimes they cooperate, sometimes they oppose him. At one point of the game, one of his friends stands ready to try to stop him. He tells her why he wants to leave, and she agrees that this world is a story in a book and maybe it’s not real...“But sometimes you’re not ready for the story to be over.”I’d put too much time and too much heart into Maki’s story to not end it properly. I knew this epilogue had to be done. After so much buildup, and after BP brought the big-hearted finish of Maki’s birth story, I had to make sure her story didn’t just have a happy ending, I poured my heart into it.But I also had a lot of fun with it. I already loved writing Maki’s call with her friend, but Maki’s mom is just so damn fun to write, despite writing her so little. I can play her up like a sitcom mom. I can have her overact, overreact, be overbearing, be nosy, and more...and yet, despite that, I wanted to stress that while she’s been like this a long time, and she and Maki haven’t always gotten along throughout Maki’s life, there’s absolutely nobody who’s always loved Maki (and her barely-mentioned sister) more than her mother does, and the only person in the world who’s happier for Kentaro’s birth is Maki herself.I let myself go crazy on the fluff, and I’d been looking forward to writing this last scene for months, despite knowing that once it was done, that was it. The post-birth cuddles, the call with Laura, Mom barging in, the heartfelt thank-yous to Sara and Jeremy, Grandma getting to meet her grandbaby, Maki showing that despite this not being planned she was glad her mom was here...And, the final bit of Maki going to sleep was a way I could think back on my own experience while she thought back on hers. This is one of the biggest writing accomplishments of my life. I don’t know what will happen next, but I’m a better person for it.And what better way to bring it full circle than by the closing line directly referencing the name of the story?My thanks go out to everyone who read and gave feedback on this story. I hope I can thank you properly by continuing to produce stories that you enjoy. I write for many reasons, but knowing what I do is liked by others...it just feels good in ways I can’t put into words.And, most of all, I thank GimmeABigPush for inspiring the seed of the idea that grew into this, for driving me to become a better writer, and for being someone I’m glad to have written this with. I’ve said it in the credits before, but I’ll say it once more: Without your encouragement, this story would never have been what it is.See you later.Credits
This chapter was written by Evertide with approval from GimmeABigPush https://www.tumblr.com/gimmeabigpush , without whose encouragement, the story would never have been what it is. For real.
Sara and Dr. Thra are Gimmeabigpush’s characters and are used with permission.
Other characters are from Evertide (https://www.deviantart.com/evertide).
Kentaro and Hana’s names reference Final Fantasy Legend II, which is (nowadays) (c) to SquareEnix.