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Brian carefully surveyed the dark tour bus, they had a long tour and it was coming to a close with their final show- even then it felt all too surreal for him, he knew the others felt it too at some level. They started out a simple band with big dreams and now- now had become this massive hit in most countries, if he had any way of letting his old self even know his life would come to this, he might’ve just ignored it-
would he even believe he had caught the once brunette’s attention, let alone kept the drummer’s heart for so long
- well he still didn’t believe that little bit, never would he have let himself believe
Roger
had been the one to make a first move
and continue doing so.
His thoughts crackled when he heard a simple groan next to him, his eyes averting from the
softer
sight of seeing the tangle that was Freddie and John with the scrabble game long forgotten on the table next to their couch.
“Rog-” Brian started his voice barely above a whisper, he didn’t wish to wake up either on the couch nor their crew that stuck with them, he wasn’t sure if Roger was even awake or just in some dream until he heard a choked sound- an all too familiar sound. Freddie had mentioned how Roger’s worries manifested into
terrible
dreams, Brian witnessed some on past tours or even when they had enough time to get a quick kip in before a recording-
even John got some worrisome dreams lately.
His hand reached out to gently stroke the longer blond strands out of Roger’s face, watching how his simple action easily relaxed the screwed up features on the other’s face, he gently kept running his fingers through the soft locks knowing the drummer needed sleep-
hell he should be getting some as well but just couldn’t find it in him to fully relax into a sleep state.
“He’s having another one, isnt he dear?” Freddie’s voice nearly stung into Brian as the curly haired male hadn’t noticed Freddie was awake enough to notice, but looking towards him, he could tell
Freddie hadn’t been exactly asleep either-
it was almost like the two had become their
loves
sentry’s over the tours and years together, protecting and watching over Roger and John for any sign of distress to be there and even watched over each other at times with being the eldest two.
“They seem to be constant on tours.” Brian’s features furrowed at his own words, he knew it wasn’t
the tours themselves- maybe
for the most part it was the pressure from management and even the fans to keep the shows
hot, entertaining
and
lavish.
His hand still twirls a few locks of blond to keep Roger grounded in some way, even while deep in sleep.
“You need to sleep too darling, you already know that though.” Freddie reminded, almost like a parent scolding a child- after all he was the eldest of the four it was more or less a given he
must
act as such- not all the time though since Brian had always been the more
mature
one in perspectives.
“I know. At night it’s peaceful, with no distractions for a while at least, which gives me time to truly think clearly and understand how far we’ve come… how we’ve gone from scrappy college kids to here.” Brian hummed, a little startled when Roger lifted his head- the blond wasn’t fully awake but wasn’t entirely asleep either. “Come here Rog.” Brian hummed when the blond lazily pulled himself to Brian’s lap, getting comfortable as he could before letting his head rest against the beanpole’s chest- falling fast asleep again in the warmth from Brian while the curly haired man slowly wrapped his arms around the blonde to keep him there.
“He really loves you, never seen Roger so
lovey dovey
before- well loving in a Roger way that is.” Freddie cooed while carefully moving a lock of John’s hair out of the soft face to keep him asleep and avoid being woken up by some stray wind that would cause any hair to fall into his face.
“If it hadn’t been for you and John or Tim I don’t think Rog and I would’ve ever mentioned anything to each other..” Brian said, reminiscing on the years passing- it had been only seven or so years since he first met Roger- five years since Deaky became their permanent bassist- three years since Deaky and Freddie finally bloody stopped with those longing looks, wishful words, teasing and all that to finally confess, and in that same year-
Roger had come to him in the flat Brian shared with Freddie while the latter had been out with John-
how that memory came back was quick and vivid- he hadn’t thought of that night in a few weeks, even now he felt that pang in his chest from
seeing those once blazing blue eyes having lost any real life more of like a blank stare with no realization what was in front of him—
“Brimi.” Roger’s voice strained almost like he had been yelling for hours, clearly the tousled and almost knotted hair seemed to fit this voice, the bags under his eyes only proved Brian’s wonder if the other had slept in some time- it wasn’t like the brunette to even look upset in any fashion but- this look caused a grappling chain around Brian’s heart to tug him towards the other.
“Roger come her—“ Brian’s words got cut off with Roger taking two steps and pulled Brian into a vice-like hug, tight and could rival a bear trap if compared. He opened his mouth again to ask why Roger came at this hour of the night- did he just want to talk or.. dread crept right into his head when he felt a shaky breath against his chest that rumbled to a small hiccup. This was unexpected, never had Brian seen nor heard Roger cry- especially not like this. “Come on Rog..” Brian carefully untangled his arms from Roger and tugged the brunette towards the couch, shutting the door to keep the cooler wind from coming in.
“Brim” Roger paused a slight squeak ending his word, his throat betraying him in every moment, he wasn’t weak- no no he wasn’t this, this was foolish of him. “Brimi I’m-“ he tried again but Brian silenced him with a simple ‘hush’, leaving to go to the kitchen to get the rest of the tea he had made to try to sleep- clearly Roger needed a soothing drink more than he did.
“Drink some tea, we can talk when your throat isn’t going to fight you.” Brian sighed, handing the other a small cup of apple cider tea, it wasn’t the best but it was quite soothing to him when he needed it- maybe it could help Roger. He let his eyes wander to Freddie’s note on the coffee table, and it seemed like the singer would be sticking with the bassist for the evening- that was for the better at this moment.
Silence seemed to be the only sound other than the occasional click of the clock- the same one that drove Freddie to nearly breaking it for interrupting a ‘afternoon Kip’, even one that would get on Brian’s nerves when he would try to craft another song lyrics in the silence with his guitar. This same silence only caused the goosebumps to burn Brian’s skin, he never experienced silence when Roger was around so this was an occasion that furthered his worries into a spiral of what could be wrong with his friend- ‘right Friend..’ Brian had to remind himself that this was Roger coming to
him
for help, a friend in need- even then his eyes couldn’t tear from the tangles of brunette-blond that shaded over Roger’s face almost like those ash trees scattered around the country, his hand slowly going to a lock- stopping before carefully taking it and tucking it behind Roger’s ear, noticing the breath Roger took as if settling himself from his moments of weakness before.
“Brian. Do you remember during Smile, you kept me in check at the pub and I still got hammered?” Roger started, sounding like there was something more to say but wanted a confirmation from Brian that he had his full attention.
“Our last gig with Tim as our lead?” Brian asked, wondering why Roger was bringing this up now, it was uncharacteristic for Roger to continue going back to then- though it was a sentimental time for both and even now, it had been a celebration yet a Solomon event as well- at the time none knew it it would be the beginning of the end or a permanent end to a short lived Glory.
“Exactly, Freddie was there too. We drank till I couldn’t see my hands- well couldn’t see more than now.” Roger chuckled a little at his own self deprecation, “Do you remember what You said that night?” He asked fully turning to Brian, for a while even Roger defied remembering or maybe didn’t believe
what Brian had said then- but got a confirmation from memories and a chat with Tim earlier- no that chat was two days ago…- got him here, in Brian’s flat- at those words Brian felt his own throat tighten, so many memories of the nights after that were filled with suffering because he never got a real word from Roger about what the brunette tried and assumed Roger hadn’t been able to remember it.
“I scolded you for drinking so much and Freddie too” Brian said almost scooting around what Roger wanted him to say, he couldn’t pull himself to say it again- the uncertainty was growing in his stomach with the prospect that this might end their friendship and the band, ‘was that why Roger came to me?’ Worries and anxiety assaulted his mind like a barrage.
“That rotter got less of a scolding than me” Roger mused over his tea, the little word he used towards Freddie was meant entirely loving- even now he was dancing around that heart wrenching
punch, those words after an unsure action, it was coming anyway but his eyes burned into Brian’s as if he was just waiting to mention those words he had said all those years ago.
“I was worried about you. All that alcohol will catch up to you at some point I told you this.” Brian tsked still unable to pull himself to say those words, he didn’t want to know what the outcome of repeating them might be.
“That isn’t what I mean Brimi.” Roger sighed he wasn’t satisfied with Brian’s dance around what he wanted to hear again, hear when he was fully here and intact- not completely dizzy with alcohol pumping through his veins and burning his stomach, he wanted to be the one to HEAR it.
“I told..” Brian sucked a breath through his teeth, a long pause with almost the same tired eyes Roger had but the blond hadn’t slept soundly from the moment Tim brought that memory up- two days prior. “You crashed into me giggling about how Freddie looked like a rabbit cause of his hair- then Tim and I managed to get you to your flat, you tried to bite me by the way.” He started relaying that night as if was yesterday, “I had to convince you your bed wouldn’t crush you.. then you tried to kiss me- I told you to not, I couldn't kiss you like that” Brian paused knowing that wasn’t the exact words Roger meant for him to repeat, a searing white hot agony reached into his chest- the consequences pulling him down to refuse to say it. “I told you I loved you, I couldn’t kiss you because I didn’t want to steal one from you in this state, I love you too much to take this from you in this state. Tim was by the door...” He finally said, seeing that nod from Roger- nothing more from that blond.
“Do you Brian? Love me enough to not want to steal a kiss when I was incapacitated?” Roger kept his eyes trained on Brian and knew the other was losing that inner fight, he slowly reached out a hand to place on Brian’s to get his eyes on him. “Do you Brian.” A demand more than giving a choice, this wasn’t a situation either ever thought they would be in.
“Roger please.” Brian struggled, he just couldn’t let himself have any hope- this was Roger- the fucking sex on legs for bloody sake, the same male that would wink at any bird that walked by and even snagged one or two for an after gig ‘fun’. What HOPE did he have, he couldn’t hold a flame to the girls and some guys Roger had kept around for a night or few.
“Brian answer me you bloody git.” Roger demanded noticing the frozen fear in Brian’s eyes, the curls no longer really softening that pure ‘fight or flight’ shine in those hazel eyes.
“I’ve loved you since I met you- when we realized our music had a edge to it and ebbed together, your blazing personality to make sure I didn’t let someone walk all over me, and then when I dated Chrissie I couldn’t help but still feel for you even when I tried not to.. she’s with a guy who loves her fully now though. I dont know about- you, I shouldnt have ever sai” Brian went on and on, rambling up until he felt soft lips against his-
Roger’s lips
against his- Brian hummed into the kiss, fully enjoying the way he could taste the smokey and almost bitter taste on Roger’s lips- just how he had imagined. This was far better than his imagination- the bitter taste, the soft lips, the sweet-bitter taste of the tea still embedded on those lips.
“Was that so hard? Did you really think I wouldn’t have tried to kiss you then if I didn’t fancy you?” Roger sneered, entirely different from how he had come in- Brian might have to question that- knowing Roger with changing emotions might cause him to ‘go off the fly’ as Freddie puts it lightly. Brian sat there staring at Roger, ‘this wasn’t happening- I passed out and this is just some dumb fantasy’ at least that’s what Brian told himself.
“Roger don’t play with me I know what you do.” Brian hissed slightly pushing the brunette back, seeing that sneer fade to a heavy frown and that light in those blue eyes just looked broken.
“I wouldn’t yank your chain Brimi.” Roger actually sounded entirely sincere and a little hurt, he didn’t have that teasing snarl to his voice or looks- he meant it.. “Brimi..” he repeated, moving over pushing Brian against the arm of the couch, “need me to prove it or something ay ?” The brunette snickered, kissing Brian harshly, letting their lips slide against each other, gentle but still heated. Brian shivered as Roger slid his hands up the white button up the other had on, letting his mouth open with a slight clashing sound of their teeth and soft laughter at that.
“Rog. I do love you, you are-“ Brian got cut off again by Roger’s lips- Roger’s hands on his chest, Roger’s warmth completely on top of him, Roger’s locks nearly tangling into his own curls.
“You start with that sappy shit I’ll leave” Roger laughed against Brian’s lips taking his bottom lip between his teeth, he wouldn’t leave but also rather just enjoy the moment without the wanker talking so much and overthinking every little thing.
“Why were you upset when you first came in, I won’t get bloody sappy if you give me a reason for that..” Brian said in a breath to avoid getting interrupted by Roger’s lips- not that he entirely minded however it would burn his mind till he knew.
“I.. I haven’t slept since Tim told me that bloody story. We were at a dive to just catch up and get a few jars.” Roger stated having tried to kiss Brian - the message was clear either he told Brian or he wouldn’t be allowed to indulge himself in heavily snogging the hell out of Brian having found out his own feelings weren’t a foolish,childish crush on his own band mate that wouldn’t be reciprocated after all these years. “And Deaky told me to fucking pull my britches up or he’d strangle me with his bass cord.” He mused, John would do it too- given the circumstances.
“We need to agree to tell each other these things before this shit bites us in the arse.” Brian sighed, running a hand down his face before his hand got snatched into Roger’s, the blisters and still remaining softness caught his full attention with his eyes darting to their hands.
“Agreed.. now fucking snog me you bloody poodle.” Roger grinned the second he got pulled back down by Brian, a soft laugh followed by breathy gasps and slight whimpers from their teeth clashing.
“Roger shouldn’t we talk about what this means?” Brian gasped when the other backed off to catch his breath even if he was fully on top of Brian more than likely causing it harder to breath on the other, which it was but Brian didn’t really mind how it felt at all.
“Fucker, we can talk in the morning Brimi” Roger hissed, what would it take to get through Brian’s brain to just enjoy this. “Now shut up.” He added another heavy kiss against Brian’s, his fingers curled around the hairs at the nape of Brian’s neck and tugged to get his mouth open again, realizing his words registered into meaning ‘this isn’t just a one night thing.’
“Rog.” Brian gasped out, he knew Roger was a rough kisser but experiencing it and hearing about it were two entirely different ordeals with his hands lazily running up and down Roger’s back, sides; whatever he could touch, completely wrapping Roger in his arms.
“Brian.”
That didn’t sound like Roger-
“BRIAN”
“BRI!
darling wake up so John doesn’t smack you with the scrabble board.” Freddie stated, unable to see most of the lanky man with Roger curled up on said lanky man’s lap.
“John hit me with that and you’ll have a guitar shoved up your arse..” Brian yawned,
at least he had fallen asleep-
he blinked awake to see John threatening to throw the scrabbled board to wake the two up. “I’m UP IM UP.” Brian surrendered looking down at the fluffy blond locks against his chest, he hummed while removing one arm from around the smaller man to place it in Roger’s hair to try to wake him up slowly- having learned a lesson from trying to wake the other up quickly-
having earned a sharp smack to his shoulder which left a nasty bruise for a few days.
“Dammit can’t have anything.” Roger sighed, fully sitting up to Brian’s surprise, “what you really thought I was asleep I just wanted to steal your warmth bastard.” He grinned, placing a kiss on Brian’s chin slowly kissing up his jawline, starting to leave little nips here and there, “you talk in your sleep when you have good dreams by the way good to know you
loveeee
me..” he whispered before biting Brian’s ear earning a sharp and low moan from his boyfriend.
“Get a room” John huffed disgusted he didn’t need to hear
that
this early in the morning, not with their interviews soon- well maybe it would be best if he
never
had to hear
that
from either Brian or Roger if he could help it.
“
Brian”
Roger faked a low moan
with a shit eating grin towards John,
who threw a scrabble tile rack aimed at his head- effectively hearing a
thunk
from hitting the drummer’s head. “Ow.” He huffed rubbing the spot he got hit at, if he wasn’t being kept down by Brian’s arm he would easily jump John, the arm firm as he let his gaze turn to a very red Brian.
“Shut up, that didn’t hurt.” John rolled his eyes while Freddie grinned a little at
his
boyfriend’s retaliation, he adored the silent temper Deaky had even if at his own peril. “We don’t need to see you two getting it on here.” He said actually giving Roger a glare,
he loved his two band mates
but he didn’t need to know how they spent some
evenings.
“It’s not like we haven’t shagged here before.” Roger commented earning a gasp from Brian who hadn’t wanted that to be known to
everyone
with ears who could hear at the moment, he reveled in John’s horrified face to Freddie’s half
look of disgust and amusement.
“Good to know not to sit there anymore Taylor” Miami sighed stepping onto the tour bus watching the shock explode on Roger’s face that easily caused the blond to turn a dark red,
Queen
really
wasn’t like any other band-
“now boys, there has been a slight delay in our trip. It’ll take an hour longer to get to Hyde Park, I’d suggest you all get out and get some air before we continue.. which also means- you all will have less time to get warmed up, I suggest warming up on the bus once we get back on the road..” Miami replied, seeing Freddie’s annoyance written so clearly on his face like paper and paint.
“
Fuck
” Freddie grimaced, he rather have a more acoustically present room rather than a tour bus that lacked the same charm a dressing room had, “thank you for the news Miami.” He added knowing it wasn’t Miami’s fault.
“Rog get off, my legs are going numb.” Brian mumbled, he hadn’t stood up in hours and
rather
needed to get up for a fair bit on a non-moving bus or ground.
“I can think of another way to stretch your legs.” Roger smirked, hearing a grunt of disgust behind him watching Brian flick between amused and disturbed about how
vulgar
and
open
Roger could be about
their more private moments.
“Roger please darling keep it in your pants.” Freddie pipped up, reaching over to smack his head with a paper before going to leave the tour bus for a bit, John hot on his heels to get away from
that
.
“Alright.” Roger sighed, getting off Brian against his will, he lent a hand for Brian who took it gratefully- a simple pull up caused Brian to fully lose balance. Brian’s hand was still stuck in Roger’s hand when he felt the world sway forward far too fast, seeing the blond’s look of shock but there was a hint that
he did this on purpose.
Two easy seconds and the two hit the floor, nearly taking part of a table down with them.
“Ugh Roger I didn’t want to end up on the floor..” Brian huffed with a squirming Roger underneath him, the blond always managed to misjudge just how
heavy
this beanpole was.
“ROGER - WHAT DID YOU DO?” Freddie peaked his head back into the tour bus unsure what the hell just happened, all he heard was a rather loud
thunk
, “darlings we didn’t mean for you two to get at it right when we leave..”
“Why do you assume it’s always ME?” Roger gasped, faking innocence as if
he
wasn’t the one who usually caused some chaos of trouble in one fashion or another
“He pulled me DOWN Fred it’s not
THAT
.” Brian grimaced and got off Roger who finally got to fully breath, “I wouldn’t be so
vandalizing”
he looked down at Roger slowly helping him up to avoid the other trying to get him on
top
again.
“Ready Freddie?” Roger smirked once he got behind his drum-set, carefully making sure he had his bag of extra drumsticks along the fact his drums were set up
how he
always
put them.
“Always am Roger!
HELLO HYDE PARK!
Glad to see everyone!” Freddie started into the mic to allow his band mates to get settled, eyeing John to check to make sure those amps work
they almost hadn’t turned on the first sound check -
he got the
go
from John and a second from Brian allowing for the actual start.
The hot lights of the stage couldn’t even touch the four across the stage, the absolute energy radiating from each member far beyond the stage’s presence itself. Each screeching cord, each high and low note, each thunderous drum spun a web that knit in on itself to craft each song its own
beautiful
tapestry which covered the stage and crowd in an invisible coating. The gentle notes and melodies stitching its own rhythm into another tapestry of its own being with the falsettos weaving in between the threads and needles of chords.
The air was permeated with the energy of the crowd, a pure and raw energy sliding like waves against a beach of the energy being emitted from
Queen,
if the energy itself had become its own personification it would fully reach a phoenix’s wingspan to carry the tapestries woven as the performance slowly reached its closing. A fire bird of great grace and a
royalty
of fire and the gods themselves, each a prince of their own world of instrumental professionalism.
The sound burned up into ash just as it had started, bright and fire till the very end with a leaving of pure wonder and longing desire for
more
that would come in its time of glory that could last centuries, even
forevermore
if given its wings to take its flight of fancy, of the glory, of the pure power, of its destiny to spread the fire of music and performance in its wake and a legacy to be unmatched with her head held high to withstand all the darkness for the misfits seeking the light, the acceptance, the strength to take her flight-
The very beauty of a royal spirit with its tapestries crafted from music no other could touch until the
glorious Queen lets her head to rest
, now that wouldn’t be until the end of
time itself
for her majesty will reign will rain down with the majesty’s guards of
teeth and manes aside their fair maiden with a shelled, clawed creature to keep them woven to their fair
Majesty,
the beloved
Queen
as she once against her flight with a cry and her wings lifting her beyond the confines of the open stadium while her own feathers fade to ash into the night.
“What do you darlings say to a few drinks? On me lovies.” Freddie smirked, wiping a second towel over his face, it had gotten too bloody hot under those lights even if it was an open venue.
“Only a few” Roger snickered, his blond hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks with thick sweat but a bright smile on his face- each member had felt the same energy that kept up with them even after the closing song. He kept bouncing on his heels, a feat the others couldn’t pull off for the fact Roger was always stuck behind those drums like a statue to its pedestal unlike the other three who had freedom to move- but Roger never faltered in his performance or energy.
“I'd rather get everything in the tour bus for our ride home, our staff has dealt with our bitterness after our last concert.” Brian replied, taking his guitar in its case towards the tour bus with a security guard following suit to make sure there wouldn’t be any issues for the tallest member of Queen getting back to the tour bus.
The similarities of the present and seven years ago was
daunting
but still oh so
exciting;
this time there was no worries of the future, this time there was no need to fully hide true feelings, this time there would be only smiles and full enjoyment, this
time there wouldn’t be any tears or fears shed.
They had made it with promises of more want from fans and their management for their sound and antics,
they had made it.
“Brimi.” Roger smiled softly, a genuine smile that wasn’t just for the cameras or others, one that was only for Brian and his band mates to see.
“Come here Rog.” Brian rolled his eyes playfully with a slight grunt when the blond climbed on top of him with a grin as if Roger
finally
got what he wanted-
not entirely though
. Brian carefully lifted a hand to push back Roger’s almost unruly, feathered locks which were still sweaty but he didn’t care.
“Now fucking snog me you bloody poodle” Roger’s smile nearly looked like he was unzipping his own face, a shit eating grin that was
adorably
dirty,
those same words
-
how cliche
especially from Roger.
“Shouldn’t we talk about it in the morning?” Brian teased entirely, ascertaining Roger was
not
going to wait for morning- exactly what he wanted to see. His eyes flicking to John and Freddie to make sure they wouldn’t get hounded for a little
heated
session, seeing the two were in their own world cemented his choice.
“Nope” Roger pulled Brian up and kissed him, with a smile of teeth and lips, the bitterness of alcohol slightly tinged his lips to Brian’s.
Smile Roger would’ve never guessed this, that he would be making out with the beanpole from Hampton
years later on a successful tour bus as ‘A Night At The Opera’ tour closes to more years to flourish beyond. How
utterly fucking ridiculous
it was in retrospect to have fallen for a band mate, a band mate that reciprocated all those twisting and uncertain feelings that kept Roger’s life in a constant cycle of misery hoping between bird after bird to grasp the same feelings that designated themselves towards the heart of another man.
Just how far he had come
, how far
they
all have come, just scrappy college students who had no clue but dreams of becoming what they were now, becoming
all of what made Queen,
Queen
but even that was slowly forgotten to focus on tongues twisting just like the fingers in each other’s hair with soft gasps of breaths being split in the air. Roger’s body fully in Brian’s arms this time,
such a simple gesture
but oh so sentimental for the pair for each moment they spent in each other’s arms through thick and thin of the past and whatever their
promising
future grasped.