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Twas a very hot sweaty stinky night in the florida villa home miles and adam were staying in together. They were calling out to each other with their eyes practically sewn shut with the fact they both got heavily stung by a swarm of bees they encountered at their party a few hours before. “MILES!!”, “ADAMM!!!!”, “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!” where all things they shouted as they frantically searched for each others arms after they had separate showers to try and get somewhat cooler in this nasty hot hell hole that is this luxury orlando villa. Eventually they got closer and closer with the use of echolocation and common sense, and thrashed together in a very unflattering manner that ended with the two men with a bruise on both foreheads, a more swollen left eye on the goofy Alex-look-alike, and a contorted lanky man with an entire vase inserted up his bum (nonconsensually).They both cried over and over out of pain and were soothing each other in a meditating way that resembled two tortoises rocking back and forth until they realized what they were doing and giggled it out (painfully coughing and wheezing, but joyful ASF!). They helped each other up with affirmations and hard work and got back onto the sofa to rest after such a rough day. After about 20 minutes, Adam had fallen into pretty deep sleep and Miles’s phone rang.. who was it??! It was Alex! He hadn't spoken much to Alex since they had their first album, so this was a pleasant surprise. He answered with a soft raspy tone that you could get from either getting absolutely destroyed and dominated by nothing but alcohol and four big guys, or by getting stung so badly by bees and being sick of it all.As they started to chit chat Alex cut the small talk to get to his point about calling him and.. he asked if Miles could come with him for his prostate exam tomorrow. Miles was speechless! This was such a kind and romantic gesture.. his heart could have very well grand jeté’d out of his chest!!!!!! After an audible gasp he took, he told Alex he would be glad to attend his prostate exam in emotional support of his good “pal”(he has wanted to be 10 inches up Turner’s arse cheekys since he taught him “put your Dukes up John”).
Alex tells Miles he's gotta go now (nervously) and hangs up the phone after a couple giggly goodbye's from each of them.Miles knew he had to face Adam eventually, but he was scared he'd see right through him. Knew he'd only get with the lanky lad because he resembled his straight mate he always thought he'd never have. So he simply didn't, he acted as if that was a manager asking to meet with him tomorrow, and Adam thought and said nothing more than “wow babes! Glad you are getting some traction finally!! with that squidgy rock you play!!” and Miles kept a soft grin knowing inside that was one of the worst things he'd ever heard about his tunes. With his own vocabulary too!! Adam truly has no heart for Miles they way Miles had his heart out for anyone and everyone who was in his life, they way he'd poop it for anyone who he cared about.Adam and Miles carefully went to the bed and managed to fall asleep pretty quick since there was no point in turning on TV since Adam could barely see anything. While Adam was sawing logs in his sleep, Miles was innocently scrolling through his phone and stumbled upon some edits of him, Alex, and many other people he was interested in. He liked some, cried to some, and wanked to some. He eventually saw a post by some obsessed teenager about him and Alex and reminisced about what could have been, or what might be. The thoughts wouldn't stop rushing through his ushy gushy organ (luhhh brain), it's all he could think about for hours and hours in the night. But when the clock struck 2.67 am… Miles finally fell asleep after he had ended on a light note in his head of how today is gonna go for him and Alex (in his consciousness, he pictured him and Alex comically kissing on top of the Eiffel tower with no shirts).The alarm set had gone off at 8 am playing the theme of teenage mutant ninja turtles at a volume so loud, and awoke Adam and Miles. They both got up with little contact, and when Adam tried to slip in an awkward joke Miles had completely ignored him. For Miles was in his own world right now. His mind palace. All he could think, all he could dream, all he could see was.. was intense homoromantic contact with luh Alex Turner. He got up to put on a rather casual but dapper fit in his opinion and fed Max. He was ready to go when Adam was finally going to leave and.. he stopped him. He knew he couldn't just not face him, it isn't fair for him or Alex later on. And so he started off telling him this wasn't working out for him because he had longtime feelings for his good friend, which he thought went swimmingly, but we'll know if that's true or not. After they had kindly taken their stuff and parted ways, Miles had mentioned he'd be meeting with his longtime crush for his doctor's appointment, and Adam seemed to be plenty interested but not enough that had stopped Miles from running out that door once he realized it was 30 minutes until the appointment.And while Miles is off on his way to the hospital, Adam had actually stayed for a bit in the villa, contemplating his choices… so very many to ponder…When Miles has finally arrived in the parking lot of the Hospital, he got out of his rental and walk towards the doors and was greeted by an elderly bloke that had stopped him and warned him of his future. At first he started by telling him he is a prophet, like Muhammad. While Miles was uninterested and tries to walk away to meet with Alex, the man quickly spurted out “You are meeting with a longtime crush of yours…? A homoerotic one?” And Miles whipped his head back in awe. “What?? Who told you that..?” He said in confusion, and the prophet then told him that he has a prophecy to fulfill. He tells Miles that he and his old bum buddy MUST bummy, on stage, at EXACTLY 7:28pm on a Saturday in the near foreseeable future during a concert of a band they are destined to start. While Miles was shocked to hear such an insane and wild thing, he knew it was true. This was his destiny. His fate. And so he thanked the man and went on to greet Alex.He texted Alex to confirm what floor he'd be on and scurried to the elevator as fast as he could without making an utter baffling booty buffoon out of himself. As he got into the elevator, he was pleasantly surprised they played a good tune he liked (tydus’s hit, “First Girlfriend”). He started lowly singing the lyrics but then an old lady who had accompanied him kicks him in the rear and whispers in a cold tone, “sing one more word of that chain-smoking two years old, I bust out the jar of Vaseline”. He immediately nodded in fear and shuddered out of the elevator once they reached the right floor. He walked out and saw the normal things. Nurse, nurse, doctor, nurse with patient, doctor, nurse with patient that is holding his bare rump up to the sky, doctor, nur- “WAIT!”He books it back to the nurse that was taking Alex to his room, and makes eye contact with his friend and realized he might not be feeling the same so he toned it down (he lightly jogged instead of speed running). Though Alex had gave him a kind demeanored look, he still stuck with “coming off too strong” would be a bad idea, this was Alex’s prostate exam after all. They got into the exam room and the nurse headed out to go fetch the doctor to conduct the actual procedure they are all there for. With the few minutes they had, they lightly talked about how their lives have been. Alex mentioned he hasn't been in a good, long, and loving relationship in so long, but Miles didn't take the hint that he was clearly in it for the love bummy like he wanted. And then Miles said how he was just in a relationship with a celebrity but it just wasn't working out. Alex was curious and asked, “WHO IN THE WIDE WORLD DID YOU BUMMY THAT IS WELL KNOWN FOR THE REASONS OF POP CULTURE AND MEDIA!!!!!??!?!”. Miles lowkey quietly farfed it out of shock from the tone of Alex’s voice, but he politely answered with, “Well.. I wouldn't really wanna tell ya in case h-h..-the..- SHE wouldn't like it!”.They say in a bit of an awkward silence for about 98871.23 milliseconds. Then Alex coughed up to say he was just glad Miles could and wanted to come and do those with him, which he really did mean! But his demeanor left Miles to believe he wanted him to go after this.. Miles felt let down but he made sure he kept his attitude up to make sure Alex didn't feel uncomfortable. They really were just too nervous and anxious about this meeting after it had been postponed for a long while, it definitely took a toll on their insecurities. But nonetheless! They are here to make sure Alex’s prostate is 100% healthy and can bummy once again! And then the doctor came in and Huh? Fym “huh”? I think I might actually just touch the prostate? The doctor finally came in and greeted the two laddies and got straight to business after he had given Alex a bit of chit chat about nonsense to get him comfortable. He slipped inside those smurf blue colored latex gloves rather seductively and told Alex to arch it. Alex clenched Miles's hand and arched it for luh doctor. And once the doctor said “Keep archin it, Mr. Turner! Here comes the choo-choo trainnnn!”, There was no going back. And the doctor swiftly slipped his hand into luh Alex bummy, but Alex kept his composure (due to his several extra hours he spent early this morning stretching and prepping his hole).As the doctor is conducting the examination of Mr Turner’s inner organs, Miles is patiently watching in awe while trying to hide his pecker that had perked up when Alex had the slightest smirk when the doctor slipped inside. But now, the doctor has slipped back into the real world and Alex’s bummy is free and empty. His doctor cleaned up to sterilize and then started telling Alex how he is all good to go! Except.. he told Alex to beware.. if he eats ANY dick in the next 24 hours.. John Kramer will put cancer in his head… (an obvious lie by the doctor, but he really wants to see if the sexual tension between these two laddies will escalate with something like this!) stay tuned for more!!! Okay if you are still tuned in we can continue in one small farty… BUMMY THE PRESIDENT BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY!!!!!!!!!! Now with Alex all done and out of the office with Miles, they both agreed it'd be nice if they talk a bit before they leave, so for privacy they go into the nearest family bathroom. As Miles locked the door and turned to Alex, he saw nothing but his exposed propellah. He said to Miles, “I know you feel it, so do I. I have wanted you for so long.. i-..” and his 7 incher defeater rised up just a bit more. Miles’s jaw was left open after such a sight before him, and just nodded while he kneeled before the twink before him.They had glorious family stall sex for approx. 8 and a half minutes. When they were slipping it in and out, they had discovered they were BOTH heirs to the dark gophy empire! They are the lost princesses that can restore faith and gopherunity in the darkness of the empire once again. With that fact, they bummied a lil more, then booked it out of the hospital to get on the road. But then…
“Not so fast… my gophy tortoise…” says Adam Driver in front of Alex's keyed car. “Where do u fink you lot are going? Hm?” Adam says while he starts transgenderifying into his old crusty looking character that he was for the film, Ferrari. As he is transforming, Alex and Miles try to rationalize this out loud and Miles had to tell him how this was sort of a rebound for him, except they really were never together. Which this warmed Alex’s dark, bummwi filled, gophy heart, this is not the best moment to have a lil hug and kissy kiss, this is the time… to FIGHT!!!!!!!As Adam starts brutally attacking them with sound waves of John Lennon’s “Jealous Guy” and beats their faces in, they whimper as if in defeat.. but then..! They make a come back together as they rise 15 feet in the air and have an anime superhero transformation into the master gophbenders. They start chittering the way of the gopher and with that, what transpired was they had summoned hundreds of evil fart gophers to help defeat Adam Driver as an old fart in the middle of the hospital parking lot. After much fighting, farting, and blood, it was safe to say Adam won't be accepted for any more film roles with the way he'd been severely and permanently turned into a bloody sag of skin with two beady eyeballs. Once they discarded Adam in the dumpster nearby to just further torture the man, they proceed with what they were about to do before the jealous man had interrupted their journey.And so now, as they drive in Alex's car to the dark gopher empire, they listen to some good tunes and just talk and talk. They had forgotten how much they were alike with how long they were apart. With them gaining closer and closer to the destination of the dark empire, they slowly become their final forms with the power they are gaining. Miles is slowly transforming into an evil/sigma/megamind/don't touch my tail/gopher/ wolf hybrid king, and Alex is rather swiftly transforming into a gopher with massive and extraordinary propellah, with 2,300 horsepower (he also has slight man-goph-boobs tbh, but Miles lowkey digged em!).Once they arrive, Alex tells Miles, “Do you undershart what we are getting into-? Wait i- sorry! I meant understand..”. Miles responds with, “Yes.. king!~..” smirking. They sit in silence before they get out and Alex just says, “The idea.. that You've been fartin all alongs’ ridiculous.” To which Miles laughs, then pees his pants. Little does he know, that they'd be releasing a song with such lyrics once they have synchronized their cycles.They get out and enter through the gates of this city filled with gophers and their bdsm shops. They ooh and awe the whole way to their castle within the city and eventually enter the castle's walls. They are greeted by polite gophers chittering and squeaking at them to welcome them and inform them of what the future withholds for their great powers in this established empire.
And then… They share the moment of sitting in the itty bitty thrones with bum dents from tiny gopher cheeks. The power they now behold is taking over them completely (in the nice farty way, not in the let's-produce-a-mass-genocide-against-minorities way).As they are introduced to their long list gopher bloodline, they soon become overwhelmed with all this new found family, authority, and fart. And so, they make it known they want to rest and tackle their issues once they awake in the morrow. They end their night with Alex telling Miles, “Mi, you are one of a kind that no other man could ever truly farferstand like I do..”, then Miles said, “Babe.. let's dance in luh sirius moo moo lightning real quick..”.
He proceeds to turn on Bowie’s song “Let's Dance” and holds his hand for Alex to take. They dance rather homoromantically the whole song and kissed each other goodnight, then hopped in bed and cuddled each other (they also dutched oven each other 56 times throughout the whole night unknowingly, twas their farfy power charging).The end..❤️