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Donna Who used to love Christmas.You see, she and Christmas had gotten along well. In fact, they were inseparable.And then she had her kids to share it with. Her three beautiful, darling kids. And life was even more perfect. So she thought.Suddenly, Christmas wasn't sure it was ready to be Christmas anymore. Even though Christmas wanted to be Christmas, so much so that it convinced her that having kids would only make it more bright and festive.But then she had the kids, and Christmas decided it needed to work late to support the family. And she was left to do Christmas by herself because he was too tired and wanted to watch television after work. But that made no sense, because Christmas was really like a two-person thing. Right?But no. It turned out that Christmas was kind of feeling like every since the kids joined them, Christmas-sing just wanted the same anymore, and she wasn't giving it the same attention that she used to.The spark had died. And she really wasn't doing it for Christmas anymore in the bedroom. So she agreed to lose a few pounds if they started going to couples therapy to talk about Christmas' anger issues. And they were finally working things out, taking it slow, and working on their communication until she caught Christmas texting another woman and sending her dirty photos. And then, when she confronted it, Christmas called her a 'selfish bitch' who didn't trust him, and that woman was just a friend, and she had started texting first because she was going through a hard time. And Donna stupidly believed Christmas until one evening she came back from work, and Christmas had packed his bags and was gone.On December 25th.I mean, Christmas was stolen. Right?She had spent weeks crying and sobbing; she even hired a private investigator to look for Christmas.And only six months later, she found out Christmas wasn't actually dead or hospitalized, but living halfway across the world with the 'friend' he was texting, and they had a whole other life with a whole other kid, even though Christmas said that kids ruined Christmas for Christmas.But that was okay, because Donna could still do Christmas. All that was needed was that last jar of cranberry sauce for the holiday dinner, and then it would all be...“Buster! Don’t touch that!”But it was too late; the jar sauce was splattered all over the Who Foods grocery floor and her old purple striped sweater.And that’s when Donna screamed,”I. FUCKING. HATE. CHRISTMAS.”in the middle of Who Foods. Filled with underage children. And people she went to Who school with. And people who sat beside her in the pews of St. Who’s Church at Sunday Mass, and her daughter's primary school teacher, who was standing just two feet away and covering her mouth.Everyone.Heard. Her. Donna just stood there, covered in red gooey sauce that dripped from her sweater, while Buster and Bean began to cry, and Cindy Lou, bless her heart, had gotten a tissue out of her pocket and was desperatly wiping up the mess.Nobody spoke a word. And only one voice rose above all the clicks and shopping cart screeches in the narrow isles. It was the big, bellied laugh of none other than the Grinch.Donna, who could recognize that laugh anywhere she went. Unlike the other Whos who giggled politely and all in the same tone, as though they’d rehearsed it since birth (which they did), the Grinch’s laugh was candid, cocky, and uninhibited. It tumbled out of his mouth any way he liked it to, and he didn’t seem to give a WHO for anyone listening.”Cindy Loo, sweetheart, just leave it,” Donna scrambled to say, grabbing Cindy’s hand and dragging her towards the self-checkout.”Oh okay. Hi Missus Who!” Cindy Loo cried to her teacher, who was pulling on a polite grin on her face and waving back.Donna was mortified.Anyone but Rachel.”Yoo Hoo!! Cindy Lou!! Are you doing some Christmas groceries with mummy and twinsies?” asked Rachel Who, in her sing-song voice. "Hi babies! Aww, don't you two look so freakin' cute...ootsie, wootsie," she said, gushing at the boys.“Yep!”"And Cindy Lou, you look just like your mama. Sooo pretty! What a stunner!"Cindy Lou shifted her feet around, then began hopping up and down, tugging at Donna's already gnarly and stretched-out sweater.Rachel. The former class president and prom queen, looking not a day over 25, now in her perfectly color-coordinated beige and white snowflake cashmere outfit, her fleecey boots, her Who-lates-sculpted bum, and her oversized tumbler cup, asked. “Does your mom need some help?””No, no, no, thank you. I've got it,” Donna, in her ten-year-old purple wool sweater, covered in cranberry sauce, and her potato chip bum, replied.Rachel's smile turned sour and pitiful. “Are you sure?””Thank you, but...no thank you. Besides, I'm sure you're sooo busy.”"Oh gosh, I'm never too busy for a friend. I've got an extra shirt in my car.""I actually like my shirt," Donna said, rocking the shopping cart back and forth, Buster and Beans voices shaking. "That's how I wanted it. Okay?"”Okay.” Rachel whispered. “Because if you need anything, ever, you can just call me. Okay? No problem. I'm always there to help a mom in need." She smiled, her white teeth sparking. "I’ll see you at school, Cindy Lou.”"Moom, can we go?""Gosh, what a doll! What a sweetheart! Bye, darling! And don't forget to show me your awesome new inventions after the break!!""Okay, bye!" And Donna sped to the self-checkout, like she wasn’t the worst mother of the year. Sugar. Rachel? This day sucked... candycanes.Only one thing was going to cure it, and Donna knew better, but her hand reached for the familiar pink bottle in the alcohol isle, and she raced to the register. Oh well. It was her Christmas gift to herself.The scanner clicked as she passed through her items and tossed them onto the side platform. And everything was scanning well, except the flippin' cocktail mix, which needed clearance from a store clerk. The big red light above her head went up and blinked, repeating "customer assistance needed" over and over again, like Donna was going to take her three kids, her bag of bread, and run out the door.Sugarplums, Donna mumbled in her head. And who should turn up around the bend but the Grinch himself, dressed in the red Who Foods vest and swinging a clearance card. The last thing she needed was to be ridiculed by the green man for being an alcoholic mother.Disposing of the evidence into a 'returned items' cart nearby, she flashed the green creature a sympathetic smile before pressing any available buttons on the screen like an idiot.But it was too late; the hot body heat of the Grinch's rich green coat seeped into her skin as he moved her fingers from the screen and tapped his card on the flashing screen sign."Easy, Donna, what's the rush?" He pressed a few buttons on the screen, sending her entire body into one flaming-hot mess. "Where's the booze?""Oh no, no." Donna whispered, catching the eye of an old couple behind her. "I think that was the couple before me.""Riiiiiight. That's what they all say," the Grinch whistled. "What is it moms like these days...wine? Or is it tequila? Or both? You can tell me. I'm not allowed to judge customers by their faces.""Ahem," Donna hissed. "I really hate holding up the line, so if you could just...""Says right here. Potatoes-white. Bread: double loaf. Eggs-dozen. Oh looky-looky.... Sex on the Beach cocktail mix. Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner! I didn't think you'd be into that, but you know what they say about blondes."Donna boinked her palm on her head. "Oh gosh, darnit, I forgot! I bought that as a gift for my cousin from out of town. She's a little...you know?" She swirled her finger in the air."Then we better get her another one of those. It's gonna be a loong night."The Grinch turned to get the bottle, but Donna put her hand over his firm, green shoulder and said, "She'll get over it. Look, I've got a ham to bake and everything, so if you could just work your magic, ""Ouf, just like that? You're not going to invite me for dinner or anything.""Scan. The. Damn. Card." Donna barked, snatching the card on his neck, snacking on it on the receiver, sliding in her credit card, tapping in her passcode very slowly, and then shining the Grinch with her best smile."Thank you very much. Have a nice day!" She chirped, leaving a stunned-looking green bug-eyed face watching her push her brood and groceries out the door."Bye, Mr. Grinch!" Cindy Lou cried as Donna dragged Buster and Bean into the parking lot. -x-x-x- It was half past two when Donna's kitchen sink let out its monthly hoorah and began to spit water all over the kitchen. She had just distracted the twins with a brightly colored cartoon song when the splitting water had them screaming yet again.She fished the plunger out from under the sink. Learned that lesson last year. With her palms on the wooden beam, she began to pump the suction cup around the drain. "Ugh, stupid, stupid," she muttered, kicking the cabinet door and blowing out a puff of hot air. "Moom, are you okay?"Donna tucked a hair behind her ear and whipped her head around. "Oh my goodness, sweetie, of course! And look at you, all bundled up...another trip to the North Pole?""Sorta," Cindy Lou said with a huff. "But first, I need to kick Groopert's bum in the sled Olympics. Want to see?" "Oh, of course, but you'll need to practice first, I'm sure," Donna said, hand on hip. "I'll just finish cleaning up, and then I'll put the ham in the oven and start the mashed potatoes, and then... I'll come. Promise.""Like you did with the Sugar Cookie Bakesale and Santa Claus Parade?" Cindy Lou said, crossing her arms. Donna sighed, bending down. "Cindy Lou, you know I'm trying to be there for you...but grownups get busy, and sometimes we can't be there for everything.""But mom, you say that every time!""I said sometimes I wouldn't be there, but I'll try to be there as much as I can. for the very important stuff.""But this is very important!"Donna bites her lip. "Okay. Got it. I'll just unclog this sink, and then I'll be down there, but that means we're going to have chicken strips and reindeer fries for dinner.""On Christmas?""Buh-buh-BUH! What was that c-word we talked about? Ah, compromise. Remember how I told you that we need to choose what's most important?""Fine," Cindy Lou said, with a smile. "But does that mean we can watch TV while we eat?""I'll think about it. Now run along." Donna gave her a quick peck on the cheek and dug her hands back into the soapy water. Cindy Lou was the first of three good things that had come out of her useless marriage. How did she win the lottery and get the best kids in the world?Buster gurgled, climbing down and off the couch and fidgetting with his picture book. Donna grabbed the plunger again, keeping one eye on Bean, who was sticking his finger up his nose as he played with his musical plastic piano.There was no way she was going to finish this job and get the twins ready to see Cindy Lou's race. After ten minutes, she was ready to throw in the towel. She put Buster and Bean in their snowsuits and boots and plopped them in their sled-stroller. Scooping up a bucket on her way from the laundry room to catch the water, the doorbell coupled with the chaotic barking nearly knocked her off her feet as she sped through the hallway.Tucking her hair behind her ear, Donna peaked through the keyhole. Him. Again?"Grinch," she said slowly, propping open the door with her foot.A soft smirk curled on his lips as he clutched a paper bag in both hands. "Well hey." Max looped around his feet and would stop until Donna gave his head a generous scratch."Is, uh, everything alright?""I brought your cousin's special juice.""Oh. Oh." Donna took the bag from him, plopping it on the floor of the closet and shutting the door. "You didn't have to do that. Or is the mayor making the celebration four times bigger than last year by including door-to-door delivery?""How untrusting of you.""Who said that the true nature of a person is all about 'me, me, me' ?""Donna, you're killing me," he said, leaning on the porch railing. "But no. Believe it or not, I decided to do a small act of kindness this year."She smirked. "Want to be on Santa's good list?""Believe me, I'm too far in the negatives," he said with a flick of her chin. "But at least I'm not the only one who hates this damn day.""Ugh!" Donna released a short laugh, covering her cheeks with her palms. "Can we just forget I ever said that?""If you're going to be embarrassed about something, be embarrassed about this. Listen," he rocked his hips back and forth against the snow-covered rail. "You gotta stabilize this old thing. I wouldn't want the kids taking a hit.""Yeah, on my to-do list.""-ooh...and look..." He peaked in behind her and into the house. "Your faucet's leaking all over the kitchen.""Honestly, I've given up.""So soon?""I promised I'd go see Cindy Lou's sled competition.""It's a ten-minute job.""I don't have ten minutes."Donna fastened Buster's belt and looked up to meet the Grinch's suggestive stare. "All you have to do is say the magic words.""But... isn't it Christmas Eve?" Donna whispered back, equally suggestively. As expected, a visceral shiver climbed up the Grinch's back."Your point?""I'm sure you've got a coworker party or bake-off with Bricklebaum.""-please, please." The Grinch rubbed his temples. "Don't say that name; it makes all the hairs on my back stand up straight.""Only your hairs?""Donnaaa.""You like Bricklebaum." She gave his shoulder a smack. "You and him are like two peas in a pod. Don't deny it.""Try spending an evening with him debating whether reindeer are more intelligent than humans, and come back to me.""Fine. You win." Donna slipped her coat from the nearby rack, wincing as the rest of the piled-on bags and scarves tumbled to the ground, along with the gladiator nail holding it together all these years."Like I said, eleven-minute job," the Grinch said with a shrug."You don't have to do this, you know. Help." Donna sighed. "Fine, okay, I do actually need help and would really appreciate it.""Say no more," the Grinch said, slowly pacing into the living room and heading for the sink, Max baying behind him. "Enjoy. Say hi to Cindy Lou.""Eleven minutes," Donna warned, pulling the sled-stroller behind her to the point of the steps. She didn't have to ask twice before the green man took the other end and carried it down the steps into the snow below. "Thanks."-x-x-x- "Soo, the Grinch, huh?" Sherry wiggled her brows at Donna, pouring her a third mug of boozy hot cocoa. "Cindy Lou mentioned it."Donna sipped the chocolate, licking her upper lip. "He works at Who Foods now. Can't avoid him.""Does he? I can't imagine why. Although, the food discounts.""They're doing this new emergency grocery delivery straight to the house.""Oh really? Wow. How convenient.""It's his job thing."Sherry winked. "Or an excuse because he wanted to...""No? NO!""Aww, Donna, you're such a tease!" Sherry said, waving her hand."GROOPERT! That's too far! Back. Okay. Thanks honey!" She cleared her throat. "Anyways, you and him...have unfinished business.""It was one time.""But you put him in the friend zone.""The Grinch is just a friend.""A helpful friend."Donna shrugs. "What can I say? The Spirit of Christmas made his heart grow three sizes, and it isn't planning on stopping.""Uh, huh, just his heart?" Sherry leaned in real close, her breath practically oozing with the hot cocoa. "Lemme tell you, sweetie, men don't just help because of Christmas magic.""He's not really a man.""Have you checked?""No, Krampus' jinglebells, no," Donna said, sentimentality rushing through her veins alongside the alcohol. "Besides, you know the story. He's so grateful to Cindy Lou and Brickbaum for helping him love Christmas again, and...I just think that's really sweet.""You're blushing.""CINDY LOU! Time to go HOOME!!"Cindy Lou frumped down in the snow, groaning. "Noooo mooooooom, five more minutes.""Cindyyyy..." Donna said, a touch more sharply than before, then began strapping the boys back in their stroller. One hour of being outside and a thermos of spiked cocoa were enough for everyone. Besides, who was Sherry to tell her when and where she should be drawing the line in the snow with the Grinch, who seemed all too eager to return the favor?Cindy Lou ran over, practically hanging off her hands. "Mom, can I go to Groopert's house? Please. Please. Pleaseeee. We need to make a trap for the Christmas scrooge.""Well." Donna looked at Sherry, who gave her the approving nod and a 'what can you do about it look'. "If Groopert's mom says yes...""She does," Sherry said. "In fact, why not make it a sleepover?"Groopert and Cindy Lou squealed. "No way!""Oh, well, Mrs. O'Hare is too nice.""Don't mention it. Hey! You take care, momma!" Sherry said, practically running after the kids as they raced back to their house."Bye momma!"Tugging the sled-stroller, Donna turned back to her house. How did she get so lucky with such amazing friends and an amazing daughter to boot? Her day was just getting better by the second, and once she put the boys to bed and popped open her cocktail... put on the telly...ahh, it would be almost normal. -x-x-x- When she came to the door, she wondered whether she had the wrong address. An address with a fixed-up porch rail.A thick smell was waving out of the hallway, and the nail was hung sturdily on the wall with her whole collection of outdoor wear neatly arranged on the hooks."Grinch?" Donna called, setting down Bean and Buster. The place even smelled different, like someone had actually worked their magic. No longer was the kitchen sink leaking, and the dead bulbs on the table lamps had been replaced. Even the Christmas tree garlands' bulbs were all glowing, including the previously dead ones, and the front door didn't creak when she had pulled it open before.Eleven minutes. Right. This was the work of one whole hour. She grinned."Heyyaaaah!" she yelled, sneaking into the kitchen. Max the dog was standing on a footstool, a giant hat robot thing on his hand, mixing and whipping some sweet cream and stirring a pot at the same time. "Max?!""Pretty handy contraption," said the low voice behind her, sending cool shivers up her spine. "Good boy."His praise sinking in and triggering a part of her in a different way than it did the pooch. "I didn't know Max was the cook in the house," she cooed."He's the cleaner too. And my best mate in all my plans, aren't you my buddy?" The Grinch gave Max a cheeky scratch behind the ears. "I hope you don't mind that we did a little extra," he said, a sheepish realization washing over his pleased face."Are you kidding?" Donna laughed. "Wow. I mean, I'm impressed you found that in the pet store.""I actually made it."Donna's eyes bugged out. "You're joking.""No, no-""Wow." Cindy Lou and the boys made things here and there, things Donna would exclaim were the 'best ever' and 'how did you even think of that'...but this? Santa's beard—this was actually amazing. And she told him just as much while he showed her all the various functions the hat had, from wiping counters to folding laundry to fluffing up the bed pillows."That's the kind of thing I need," she cried."I was hoping you'd say that," the Grinch said with a smile that was a little too self-satisfying, a little too gluttonous. "But first dinner.""How can I ever repay you?" Donna suddenly said, the holiday budget resurfacing in her mind."I'm sure we will think of something," said the Grinch, and oh, did she spot a salicious unsettledness in his voice? No, that must have been Sherry and her ridiculous theories, because he couldn't possibly be suggesting what she thought he was. Although...Well, there was no time to contemplate because Max made them all dinner, and the company sat down, and Donna had the boys sitting in their high chairs whole the Grinch cut into the honey-glazed ham and served her a generous helping of mashed potatoes, which was entirely what Donna was hoping for after freezing out on the sledding hill.And crispy cancycanes—what a dinner it was. Even the twins, who had been unusually picky eaters, managed to gobble up the mashed potatoes and even asked for seconds.For dessert, Max whipped up a delicious apple pie with cream. And that went down fantastically well with the tea blend from the Grinch's own cave flowers.Then Donna ticked the twins into bed while the Grinch washed the dishes and wiped down the counter tops. It was impressively good teamwork. And although the hour was way later than 'dinner with friends' time, Donna couldn't find it in her heart to send the Grinch and Max trudging up the snowy mountain at 7 PM, which during the winter time meant the night had already settled in over Whoville hours ago.She was sure there was a by-law in Whoville against booting out guests at Christmas time.Besides, she had the sofa bed and a few spare blankets in the cupboard.With the night so frosty, the kids fast asleep, Max snoozing by the warm oven, and the Grinch so helpful, Donna decided to pop open her drink for a sneaky nightcap by the cracking fire and the twinkling lights off their sweet Christmas tree consisting of Cindy's homemade ornaments and a big star on top. The Grinch had opted for a glass of spiced eggnog, and the two toasted to teamwork.And it was getting a bit too nippy because Donna hadn't insulated the windows, which the Grinch said would be a twenty-minute job, so a cozy blanket had to be put over their laps. For warmth purposes. That's when she admitted that she actually did hate Christmas, and when did it become so darn commercialized and a 'Keeping up with the Whos' kind of competition? And why the major was insistent on making it bigger and better each year, and whether he was compensating for something (which the Grinch pointed out). And they laughed about the giant Christmas tree in the city center that was just so ridiculously tall this year; the Grinch was sure it would squish even his mountain if it toppled.With the mountain cave hideout mentioned, they got to talking about the Grinch's various inventions, which Donna hadn't realized were his own: the giant Santa sled, the calendar alarm clock, the winding espresso extracter, the dog-helicopter drone, and the hours ticking on and on until she was snoozing in a drunken haze on the couch pillow.It was then that Donna realized just how long it's been since she's had Christmas here at home 'with a man. Even though the man wasn't really a man. He was a grinch. But what even was that? She couldn't call him an animal, but he didn't really resemble a hairy human. Maybe it was a hair condition, but a rare one, because no one she knew had that much hair everywhere. Either way, it seemed like the perfect question to ask while drunk off spiked cocoa and Sex on the Beach cocktails."What, uh, am I?" The Grinch said, settling back into the cushions of the sofa, grinning, "Whatever you want me to be.""You've never checked?""You're the nurse. Shouldn't you check?" But even drunk-Donna's head produced a (shaking) firing-red lightbulb at that question. Where had she already seen such a scenario before? Uh, oh yes. It definitely didn't end with a nurse's recommendation, a pat on the back, and 'off you go'. But there is a time and place for other endings to come from it too."Donna, Donna, what do they call you?""Nurse Donna."He leaned on an elbow, his hair spreading on the brown couch back. "So, Nurse Donna, where do we begin?""Usually I need my tools," she said. It was the truth. And the Grinch had an answer for that. A present, actually.And...oh! They didn't even check the clock, and it has been half past twelve. There was not much else to do but exchange gifts."I didn't get you anything," Donna said with a melting smile as the Grinch produced a small rectangular box from under the tree. Pulling at the very exactly taped-down edges, Donna's face lit up, then she scrunched into a confused glare. "A.....tool thing?"It was a device, like a door handle, but with softer edges and a part at the end as an attachment."Not just any tool, here." The Grinch's fingers looped around hers and gently pulled the item out. "An unclogger, actually. Or whatever else you need it to pump.""Oh, because my-""-your sink." The Grinch took out a plunger attachment from the box and popped it inside the round hole opening. The device began to work its magic, pumping away in a slow and steady motion: up and down and up and down. And Donna stared at it in a mixture of hot confusion."For the sink.""That's what I said." The Grinch stared at the tool like a foreign object, turning it from side to side. "I actually never tested it out," he said with a laugh. "And the sink is unclogged," Donna said softly, her eyes on the moving tool."You can use it for other things. A toothbrush, for example," he said and demonstrated with the appropriate attachment. "I wanted to give you some options, in case you didn't need a plunger.""That's...""Or someone else was unplugging your sinks.""-no. No one's unplugging my sinks. Besides you.""Good." The Grinch fumbled around in the box. "Besides the toothbrush, there's also the brush applicator for makeup and the mortar and pestle for cooking." Here he took out an eggplant-shaped attachment clearly made for grinding peppercorns and chili peppers."You sure put a lot of thought into this.""But if it's not useful...""Oh no," Donna cried, grabbing his hands. "I think it's a super useful gift.""I'm still new to this whole C-Christmas thing, so if you think it's terrible, I'll just throw it off a cliff...""Why don't we try it out?" Donna cried. "Right here.""What on?""My arm." Donna pulled up the sleeve of the grubby sweater, revealing her arm. "Let's see if that plunger pushes on me."The rubbery attachment on her skin settled for a moment, cold against her arm. He turned it on, and it began to pump away."It's a little small, your arm," the Grinch said pensively. "I mean, your arm is fine.""That was almost a compliment.""What can I say? I'm growing mushy," he said."What about my stomach?""Your..." The grinch shook his head. "Well, we can use my stomach.""It's too hairy." She stilled. "Not that that's bad. It's perfectly fine as a stomach.""I'm flattered.""Seriously. Try mine." And so he did, transferring the plunger to Donna's stomach as she giggled away. And whether it was the booze or the ridiculous childishness of having a sink plunger pumping at her stomach and making farting noises, it sent the Grinch into wheezing laughter as well.And so the fun commenced. "Let's try the others," said a bold-drunk Donna, reaching for the toothbrush. That attachment tickled and scratched even worse. They went for the makeup brush, which sent Donna's toes curling. "That's... ahaha... that's... oh I can't..."Through his tears, the Grinch laughed and stuck the pestle on. "Ready?""Have at it!" She said, patting her stomach and coughing out the last of the makeup-brush-tickle-laughs.She winced when he placed the cold stone pestle on her tummy. Slowly pumping up and down against her soft skin, Donna could have imagined making a nice curry paste or grinding up some guacamole, but obviously, she didn't. And she shouldn't have imagined anything but. And yet, there it was—the clear comparison between the pestle against her skin and..."Ooh," she said softly, her voice tingling with a sonorous lustre."Stop?""N-No."The look of bland fascination, a sort of zoning out, droned out the Grinch's usual intent stare. Like there was nothing there. Donna read about men being able to completely blank out their minds, but how was she, a woman, to know if it was true?The Grinch had made this. For her. Or for himself. But it was such a useful gift for...the reason it should not have been. "Whatareyouthinkingabout?" She asked, her voice stuck in a box in her throat."Arr, huh?""You-""Oh, uh-"She gripped his hand, stopping it exactly where it was, right below the belly button. "This is nice. Like a message.""Mmmmassage.""I think I'll use it for that.""Mmmm. Right," he said slowly. "Well, if a massage is what you're looking for, I've also programmed it to do a swirling action. You know, in case you need to use it to clean out a bottle with the bristle brush attachment." His hand reached around the base and clicked the button, shifting the pestle to draw round, tight circles on her stomach.Now, this was what she was talking about. Squeezing her thighs, she released her hand from his wrist, her palm strangely sensitive to his bristles of hair. "Ah, wow.""Yeah?""Great present," she managed. Maybe out loud, but likely not because the Grinch had not heard her, and his chest was slowly heaving in rhythm to her own breath."That's enough of that," he mumbled suddenly, taking away the wonderful lower belly massager from Donna's skin and rapidly pressing on the buttons."Why did you do that?" she whispered."It's weird and useless. Junk.""No. Don't even think about throwing it out. I'm keeping it," she said firmly. "I have a good use for it.""Massaging your stomach?"She clicked her tongue. "I've always wanted a stomach massager. Now, I have a stomach massager.""Liar. Let me guess, you weren't going to use it for your stomach," he said."I was.""Oh reallly?" And there it was again—that raunchy intonation and those hooded 'nothing gets past me' eyes. "What did you think I was going to use it for?" she asked, batting her lashes and letting out the 'I'm not playing games' tone she saved for Cindy Lou."I think you were going to use it between your legs," he said, matter of fact. "On your clit-OH-rus."And then, a pop of laughter exploded on Donna's lips. "What did you just call it?" She clasped her hand in her mouth. "Right, you read that in a book."He shrugged. "I read it in a book.""You've never actually said that out loud.""You got me.""Oh, sugarplums," Donna snorted. "I'm sorry." She wiped her eye. "But yes.""See." The Grinch lay sprawled on her couch with that cocky, self-assured expression of his tugging at his lips."Do you want to try it?""I don't have that body part," the Grinch said with a laugh. "Oooh, you meant... in my...""Where did you think I meant?" Donna swept back her hair. "Or you didn't read that far in the anatomy textbook.""I've read that far.""Let's see then what you've learned," Donna said.The grinch stilled. "Just to be clear, You are suggesting that we have sex.""T-that is...yes. Unless-""Well, I'm not opposed. You're the one who wanted to settle up with me for the sink.""Ha! So that's how it is," Donna said, settling on her knees. "What happened to getting your name off Santa's Naughty List?""Donna, Donna." The Grinch tsk-ed. "You should know by now that my name is on there for good." -x-x-x- He was on his knees, his green palms and chest resting on the sofa. The curve of the butt-cushion supports his upper body. And Donna was behind him.She'd done colonoscopies before. And this wasn't really a good time to see this connection, but she didn't want to hurt the Grinch in the process of testing out the new tool. Wiping the tool down with a wet cloth, she leaned over and whispered, "Ready?""Nurse Donna, be gentle," he said with an idiotic laugh. Because how in Krampus' Jinglebells was he supposed to know what was going to happen? Donna was sure he didn't have a damn clue and he didn't read that textbook as well as he should have, otherwise he'd be mortified by the idea of something going up his back canal (like her ex-husband had been)."It won't hurt."She ran her fingers up the sides of his hairy thighs, a soft moan rolling through his body as she did. She massaged him there for a minute, watching him rock back and forth into her palms as she did.Maybe, just maybe, he had read that far."You like that?""Yess.""Tell me if anything hurts." She took the pestle and rubbed it slowly between his buttocks, up and down, so he could get a feel for the size. It did little to stop the grunts as the hard lump trailed over his hole."Yes, right there, stop," he said once it did so again.She turned on the button to the lowest setting, massaging his crack as he drew in sharp, uncontrolled breaths, and, damn, she was really liking that sound."That's good. You're doing well.""Aah," he said, sucking in another breath. "Yeah. Deeper."She grunted in return, shoveling the pestle deeper into him and retracting it slowly as his body twisted before her in pleasure.She began to get into a rhythm, alternating between different settings of pumping and swirling and pushing it deeper and shallower into him. At one point, she angled the device right in, and that sent him into a feral growl as she rose to his elbows and began to make sounds that she'd never heard a man make before. He wasn't a man. And frankly, she didn't want him to be, because whatever he was, he was making her own thighs grow hotter and damper by the second."Oh Donna, fffuck, ugh," he moaned in a hoarse voice."Nurse Donna.""Yeah, whatever," he said, then suddenly barked as he pinned him down on the cushion, his hand on his upper spine. "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch," she said, her voice heavy. "Please show some respect.""Sorry, Nurse," he said, his body too overwhelmed by the sensation of the pestle and the surprise of its uses to really argue back.And she used that to her advantage when she took a fistful of his green hair from the nape of his neck and began to ride him into her sofa, plunging him in and out as he rocked back and forth against her, the blanket stuffed between his fists, and the visceral cries and moans escaping his lips.She had kneaded him into putty, so he was repeating her name over and over again, like his brain was jelly and he remembered nothing else. This man, who had invented things she couldn't even see in her dreams, was reduced to a green mop, allowing himself to be dragged at his will against the furniture.And when he had him fill, he said nothing more than a mumble of syllables, and Donna pulled out of him, letting him fall back against the carpet. He stayed that way, his breath quick, and then slowly, it subsided to a gentle lull."Ooh, Donna," he finally managed."If you move, I'll let you lie on the sofa bed.""Mhng, fine," he mumbled, rolled aside, and then helped her pull out the bed.Donna skipped upstairs, a surge of energy filling her veins as she pulled a comforter and a few pillows out of the cupboard. Then, going downstairs, I noticed the Grinch was already snoring into the pillows.She smiled, then tossed the comforter over him, crawling up to tuck him in. She left the pillows there for later, hoping he'd wake up in the middle of the night and settle in more comfortably. Then she went back upstairs to her bed, only stripping down and pulling on her nightie before falling fast asleep.She hated Christmas a little less that year.