Work Text
BUTTERFLY BALL
GERSHWIN THEATER, NEW YORK
The bathroom, located in the far back corner of the venue, tucked between a utilities closet and the emergency staircase, was the brightest lit room in the entire theater. Heavy bulbs of florescent lighting threatened to blind whoever was impatient enough to sneak away and freshen up during whatever event was being held at any given time, and Emma Collins fell perfectly into that category. The actress crashed into the door in an eerily discombobulated state, eyes rimmed red and cheeks damp from an onslaught of hot tears that had sprung in her waterline without warning or reason. Pin-straight hair fall over her eyes the farther she tipped her head down toward the elegant gold speckled tiles, but her path was clear of obstacles to fret over as she stumbled into the sink and clutched onto the porcelain bowl harshly. Her breathing was erratic, shaky and fast paced, completely out of her control despite the many years in therapy that had embedded the importance of mindful breathing techniques into her already jumbled mind. She couldn't control it though; she couldn't control anything.Emma Collins was many important things in life. She was somebody's favorite client, somebody's favorite actress, her best friends favorite chef, her mother's favorite daughter (although she only had one), but she was not a social butterfly, which felt grimly ironic each year she decided to attend the Butterfly Ball in support of breast cancer research and recognition. It had been nearly four years since the diagnosis had finally won, and yet sitting in the stuffy theater surrounded by survivors, celebrities, and women still fighting, she felt like she'd only just been ripped away from sanity moments ago. The day she had gotten the news had been the last day that Emma Collins had truly lived — every day since then had merely been a miracle that she survived.Everybody that knew Emma at the time had promised that her grief would pass, that in a couple of months, maybe even a couple of years if that's the timeline she needed, she'd find a new normal to stay afloat within. Her friends had promised that she would find joy in late night pub-crawls and five am call times again, her family had promised that the days wouldn't always feel so long and empty, but almost four years into her grief the world was just as dark as it had become the day her mother lost her fight. Six years with breast cancer had slowly ruined Elizabeth Collins. She was barely a shell of the woman Emma knew her to be by the end; the chemotherapy taking more then just her beautiful honey gold locks of pin straight hair that she shared with her daughter, but the majority of her light that she thrived to share with the world in whatever ways she could. Elizabeth Collins was the best person that Emma Collins had ever known, and almost four years ago she had left this world to find actual peace and painlessness.Emma didn't believe that though, she couldn't believe that. She didn't have the strength to believe that although the physical body of her mother was nothing but decomposed bones in a heavy mahogany casket buried beneath fresh blades of kelly green grass and rich smelling dirt, that her soul lived on in the unimaginable afterlife. If she believed that, if she let herself truly believe that she would see her mother again, she'd surrender the years of life she had left just to get there quicker. Elizabeth Collins was not just Emma's mother, she was her best friend, her only confidant, the woman she turned to with tubs of ice cream and blankets when a movie night was the only cure for her heavy workload. Elizabeth Collins was the only person that had ever truly known Emma Collins, and without her, the actress was merely a ghost among men.That didn't mean that Emma Collins had no good days. In fact, she had many. She always found the greatest pleasure in sneaking out into the world at the first stages of daylight. She frequented farmers markets and spent an ungodly cluster of minutes stood before booths of fresh flowers, deciding which colours would brighten up her penthouse apartment the best for the week to come. She found serenity in the paths less traveled, surrendering herself and her wandering mind to the intricate and curvy paths within Central Park, losing all concept of time as she kicked at small pebbles and carved shared initials into bark. E.C. would never be her name to wear alone, and each tree that bared the mark of those two letters was the closest Emma would ever come to having her mother back with her again. Some days, Emma Collins genuinely felt like everything was right in line, but those days always came with long weeks of midnight sobbing and despair. In retrospect, maybe Emma Collins didn't really have any good days, maybe she just tried to convince herself that going more than three hours without falling into tears was progress.Emma jerked upright when the bathroom door swung open again, only this time it wasn't of her own reckless doing as she attempted to escape the a-list crowd and have a meltdown in private. Her bleary blue eyes searched for a face in the widening gap between door and wall, all while her heart hammered on high alert in her chest as she willed herself to pull it together and appear content and professional in front of whoever had snuck away from the chaos in not dissimilar fashion. Her shoulders slackened just the slightest bit when blue eyes met hers from across the restroom, bleach blonde hair styled into a sleek bob told her all she needed to know about her unexpected company. Unconsciously, Emma's trembling hand shot up toward her ribcage, rubbing over a thin string of black ink that reminded her of her mother's final months."Oh, shit." The blonde musician flinched backward into the hallway, apparently just as startled as Emma had been when she'd first heard the door creak open. The faintest trace of a genuine smile pulled at the actresses bitten lips, her blue eyes amused and creased as she scrunched her nose up cutely and fanned at her face, willing the tear tracks on her cheeks not to lift the foundation they fell overtop of. The inevitable breakdown that was only moments away from crashing over Emma entirely could wait for a later time, now was certainly not the moment to cry about a situation that she had absolutely no control over. "Fuck, sorry. I can come back later if you want."Emma's nose, already scrunched, somehow wrinkled even more at the musicians attempt to give her privacy, and she found herself laughing shakily as she shook her head and waved her hand around aimlessly. "It's a public bathroom." Emma excused, "Taylor, isn't it?" Her voice was notably shaky, but all Taylor could really focus on was how soft it sounded as it floated across the space between them and landed gently against her ears. The entire world knew of Emma Collins, it was virtually impossible to escape her entirely, but her voice had never sounded so easy. Taylor supposed that came down to the fact that Emma had a real knack for signing onto projects that allowed her to step into rougher headspaces — especially as she aged out of child centric films and made the switch from child star to distinguished actress."Yeah." Taylor smiled softly, stepping fully into the bathroom now that pleasantries were being exchanged, allowing the door to swing shut behind her, drowning out the echo of applause as another artist finished their fifteen minute set back in the theater. "Emma, isn't it?" There was a whimsical wrinkle in Taylor's eyes that told Emma all that she needed to know. The blonde was aware that the formalities exchanged just now were merely repartee, both women were too big to be unknown, but still they each appreciated the sentiment of a greeting. "Would you believe me if I said I only know your name because we're sat at the same table and I just so happened to read the name card beside your glass?"Emma laughed at that, she genuinely laughed, and she shook her head at the admission that couldn't have been farther from the truth. She might not be a social butterfly, but Taylor seemed easy enough to be around, and if the trembling of her hands at her sides was any indication as to why she'd slipped away to the bathroom, Emma felt an odd sense of personal connection that wasn't found frequently at events like this. "I might not have much of a social media presence, but I do remember seeing you gush about Allure on your Instagram stories. I'd be offended if you're only just learning my name now."Taylor grimaced slightly at the mention of Instagram, but Emma didn't linger on the obvious expression. She nodded toward the sinks, blue eyes tired and gentle. "If you run cold water over your hands, that may help." She advised, already turning on a faucet for herself, dunking both of her still shaky hands beneath the clear stream, just glad that Taylor's entrance had served as a sufficient distraction for her labored breathing."What?" Taylor frowned, but found herself stepping up beside Emma anyways, blindly trusting the tidbit of information relayed.Emma smiled sympathetically, "Your hands are trembling. I'm not going to ask you why, but I am going to tell you that cold water will give you something else to focus on."Taylor deflated at the admission, wasting not a single second before she was dipping her own hands beneath the running current and allowing droplets of water fall off of her fingertips and splash against the drain before they slipped away entirely. It seemed like such a silly thing, entirely inane, but she was eager for a distraction, and so she willed her mind to go blank for however many seconds that it took for her nerves to react to the cold water, forcing out any thoughts of her mother and the ongoing breast cancer battle she was faced with just the year prior.Neither Emma nor Taylor said anything else, but they dried their hands one after the other and walked back to the table they shared in synchronous steps. Every two steps that Taylor took, Emma took three, the gold stiletto heels on her feet giving her a few extra inches, but the additional height was practically futile compared to musician on her left that stood on her own set of stilettos. Eventually, they'd weaved through enough chairs and decorative stands to find themselves back at their own circular table, glasses of white wine refilled and awaiting their eager mouths for whenever they pleased. Emma reached for it gratefully, allowing her eyes to flutter closed for merely a second as she washed out the taste of metal on her tongue. When she opened her eyes, Taylor was looking straight at her, her own wine glass captured between white knuckled fingers.They sat like that for the next two hours, eyes glassy and rimmed with tears that they refused to let slip in a room so impersonal and crowded. They made eye contact every so often when they felt the burn of the others glare on the side of their faces, but it wasn't until the overhead lights came back on that they shuffled close again, merely two women dressed in clashing hues of baby pink sharing a similar pain. Emma only noticed when they stood side by side, each awaiting the arrival of their security teams that would lead them out toward the parking lots how tall Taylor truly was in her own sleek heels. Even without the heels, the musician was a good few inches taller."Would you, um, would you like to have a drink with me? This doesn't seem like the type of event to have an afterparty, but I could seriously do with a drink stronger than cheap white wine." Taylor extended the offer rather calmly, though her visible nerves betrayed her as she pulled at the tips of her fingers and shifted cautiously on her heels. Emma's reputation of being a limelight legend proceeded her, that much was painstakingly obvious as they stood beneath yellow-tinted lighting, face to face but miles apart. Emma didn't hang around for very many conversations when she attended the Butterfly Ball, she was in no way interested in making small talk about how her life has evolved since losing her mother, but the conversations she did hold were limited and dull. Her reputation had been practically cemented into stone since twenty-eleven, and nobody wanted to hold on too tightly to a woman that would disappear into the shadows by dusk, but it hadn't deterred Taylor, though Emma had a sneaking suspicion that the singer's carelessness came from a similar reputation shaped hole in her heart. Taylor's reputation of being a snake, which was not as wittily named as Emma's, proceeded her all the same, but Emma had learned a long time ago that your reputation is only ever as true as you allow it to be in their business.Emma hadn't received an offer so unalloyed in years. Her friends had all but given up on inviting her to pub-crawls and event after parties, but they'd never stopped extending petty invites to weekday brunch and casual game nights. She attended sometimes, other times the texts went unanswered and abandoned. It had been nearly four years since Emma had received an invitation based solely on yearned for companionship. "I happen to know of the best little dive bar on the East Side." Emma's lips pulls upward into a delicate smirk, blue eyes simultaneously light and heavy; it was an expression Taylor knew painfully well."Wouldn't happen to be Lovers of Today, would it?" Taylor could name a few hundred dive bars between Gershwin Theater and the East Side, but Lovers of Today happened to be one of the lesser frequented more a-lister friendly locations. It wasn't horribly popular, rather a place she and a few others found themselves venturing into when they craved the thinnest sliver of normality. Even megastars desired a change of pace every so often, Taylor often reminded her publicist.Emma seemed taken aback by Taylor's knowledge of the small dive she found herself stumbling into every few months, but she nodded eagerly without missing a beat, hoping to convey her genuine interest in taking the bleach blonde artist up on her invitation. "You know it." Emma hummed, a glimmering spark in her eyes. "Then you also know they have the best cocktails.""I do." Taylor matched the honey-blonde woman's intricate expression of amusement, her own blue eyes sparkling with interest as she pushed to explore the extent of Emma's playful commentary in the moment. "I'll meet you there?""Or," Emma's eyes brightened considerably as she contemplated her next move, wanting desperately to accompany Taylor to her preferred dive bar in the East Village but wanting even more to wiggle out of her sequined gown and exchange her heels for something more adequate for the established neighborhood they'd be impeding on. "We can get out of these ridiculous dresses and I can pick you up at," Emma's eyes fluttered down toward her dimly lit cellphone where the time was displayed in blocky white letters. Midnight. They had four hours before the dive closed and it would be deemed unacceptable to even consider going out for drinks. "One?"Taylor hadn't even began to consider how uncomfortable she was in her bubblegum pink dress until the suggestion of wearing something else had been thrown out. Even with her immediate compliance with the elaborate plan, Taylor had never been easy a day in her life. "Pick me up, huh?" The musicians lips held firmly to the shape of a smirk as she looked down at Emma through her mascara coated lashes.The English-American actress grew flush at the quip in the older woman's tone, realizing only then how her offer could come across. She couldn't be blamed, four years of self-prescribed isolation was bound to impact her social skills, even if it was only slightly. "Um, if you're comfortable with that?" She responded meekly, suddenly seeming much more timid than she had only a moment ago.Taylor never stopped smirking, "You'll need an address and a phone number." She enlightened, pairing her observation with the immediate extension of her right arm, fingers clad with elegant rings wiggling playfully. Relieved that her suggestion hadn't been an immediate deterrent, Emma handed her clunky phone over to the musician, the screen already open on her long list of contacts. Taylor typed for only a handful of seconds before she handed the device back and turned her head to address the man that had silently joined her beside the table. "Looks like you're in for an early night, Greg."Emma giggled at the interaction, the security guard, apparently named Greg, had merely rolled his eyes at the insinuation that he would take advantage of the dismissal. It wasn't blatantly clear in his posture, but Emma had spent enough time around celebrities to establish which ones had genuine support at their disposal. If her intuition was right, which it was hardly ever wrong, Greg would be following them to the dive bar, with or without the pay. She couldn't help but feed into the game of sarcasm that Taylor had begun though, twisting on her heels until she could see the stone eyes of her own security detail. "Looks like you're in for some overtime, Parker."The heavy-set man who always adorned a patch of greying stubble on his chin merely huffed beneath his breath, amusement clear only to Emma who had memorized all of his subtle tells, "Of course, Ms. Collins." Parker commented, his shoulders squared though his jaw was relaxed and uncharacteristically soft.Winston Parker had been working with Emma Collins for years. He was the first addition to her personal security detail and admittedly the starlet's favorite employee. His humor was dry and rather sparse, but they'd been together long enough to read between tense muscles and stoic expressions. Even if Parker didn't say it, he was glad that Emma was getting out in the world again, even if it meant spending another handful of hours in the shadows to ensure her safety.Emma and Taylor shared a knowing glance before they parted ways, one blonde heading toward the left exit while the other stuck to the right. Heels clacked softly against carpeted floors, barely even distinguishable had Emma not been listening intently for the sound. She smiled softly down at the red fabric muffling the impact of her shoes, a fluttering feeling of warmth spreading through her chest that had once been familiar, but was now as infrequent as rain in the Southeast deserts of California. She hadn't made a friend in almost five years, hadn't been ready to submerge herself into civilization. Truthfully, she still didn't feel quite ready, but her desperation to spark genuine connection outweighed the yearning ache in her bones that longed for solitary confinement in her TriBeCa penthouse.The air was decent for a February midnight; not cold enough to create goosebumps along her naked arms, though neither hot enough to be entirely comfortable without something light thrown on top. She smiled gratefully when Parker opened the back door of the SUV for her, his bear paw hands ghosting across the small of her back to ensure no accident would occur as she climbed in. She truly did owe so much to him, the yearly bonus was the least she could do to show her appreciation."Where to, Ms. Collins?" Her driver, Philippe, asked gruffly, his accented words friendly albeit scratchy as he turned his head to assess the state of her sobriety quickly. She rolled her eyes playfully, knowing that although she didn't attend these events often anymore, he would never let her live down the twenty-eleven Golden Globes where she drank too much for any seventeen year old girl."Home please, Phil." She hummed quietly in return, already settling deep into the black leather seats with her head pressed up against the deep tinted window. She didn't pay attention to anything after that, allowing Parker and Philippe to discuss the upcoming superbowl without her uneducated input, counting down the streetlights until there was only one that separated her from her apartment.The TriBeCa Abbey was no grand slam, though neither was it bottom of the barrel. It was a quaint little building, reminiscent of the apartment complex she and her mother had moved into when she booked her first leading role in Los Angelos. The polished hardwood floors and minimalist white walls embellished with black detailing felt clinical, somewhat sterile and uninviting if Emma though too hard about it, but the building itself provided decent security and more then adequate shelter, which were the only two qualities Emma had sought after when she began the process of house hunting earlier the year prior. She'd needed a change of scenery, and while she loved the little house her mother had left her in the will she'd been forced to complete far too early on in life, it was understandably challenging to live in a place where her mother was meant to reside in as well. Emma Collins would never sell the property, but she had no plans of returning either.When Philippe pulled around the back entrance of the building, Emma was quick to thank him for his services that night. She collected her clutch and her phone, assured that both her heels were still strapped properly around her ankles, and stepped back out into the mild cold of nightfall, not bothering to wait for Parker who always insisted on opening the car door for her each time they arrived anywhere. She smiled loosely at her driver, but didn't hang around to extend a proper goodbye, already setting a course for the ID protected doors and fumbling through her rhinestoned clutch to secure said keycard.Thankfully, once Emma made it into the elevator, it made not a single stop on its ascension to her upper level penthouse. She was the only unit on the top floor, and the bronze automatic doors required a pin number to continue opening once the shaft settled. She'd never felt anything but safe in TriBeCa Abbey, although she wondered frequently how long her sanctuary could survive with the recent uptick of media interest. She'd never understand why reporters found her quaint little life so interesting, but there'd practically been a bounty placed on her head in recent weeks."I'm just going to change." Emma told Parker quietly once she'd gotten the front door unlocked and ajar, already leaning up against the threshold of the door as she attempted to unbuckle her heels quickly, She was absolutely drained from her single night in front of a lens, but the prospect of low maintenance drinks still interested her enough to avoid calling plans off and settling into an early slumber. "You can help yourself, I picked up more of those pretzels you like. They're on the third shelf in the pantry."Parker never would understand how Emma picked up on the smallest details of his life even when he tried his best to remain impartial to everything in her presence. The pretzels in question were cinnamon sugar twists, a snack from his childhood that had never faded away. Even his mother had forgotten about his interest in them, though being almost eighty years old could've been a factor in that, but Emma had somehow figured out that it was Parker's one weakness and tried her best to always keep them around for him — not that he ever let her catch him eating them while she frolicked around the penthouse doing whatever it was she did every day.The actress was quick to step out of her sequined gown once she made it to the master bedroom down the hallway, letting the pink fabric crumble into a ball around her ankles with disinterest. It had to be dry cleaned and steamed before it was returned to her stylist anyways, there was no reason for her to focus too intently on the state of it in this moment. She knew the vibe of Lovers of Today well, it was a casual dive bar known for its unique cocktails, a place that she would stumble into wearing sweatpants she'd owned since high school, but she wanted to elevate her appearance for the occasion, and so instead of the grey sweats that were calling her name, Emma chose a pair of straight cut jeans and a timeless white t-shirt. The weather was nice, a blend of approaching spring days and lingering winter nights, chilly but still, so a ribbed cream quarter zip quickly found its way onto her body as well.Her makeup was quickly washed away in the en-suite bathroom, specs of pink and gold glitter clinging to the porcelain bowl to be dealt with later. Her pin straight hair was twisted into a braid that would hopefully pair nicely with the atmosphere of the bar, a white ribbon secured around the first elastic band to dress the outfit up some. It wasn't anything too crazy, but Emma wanted to look decently presentable in the off chance that their location was found out.She looked at herself in the mirror one last time before she decided there was nothing left to be done to help her appearance, and just as quickly as she'd entered the bathroom, she walked back out into her bedroom and shoved a pair of running shoes onto her feet and transferred all of her identification and bank cards into her wallet. The only thing left to do was text Taylor, but Emma found herself hovering over the pictureless contact with hesitation.She hadn't made a new friend in almost four years, even the relationships she'd had prior to her mother's passing had suffered greatly, and she'd made no attempts to fix that, so what was she doing here? Why was she allowing herself to fall into a spiraling pit of hope that things would even out again? Emma wished she could call her mother and confide in her about the last minute plans she'd agreed to, but she knew that if her mother had survived the cancer, she wouldn't be in this predicament at all.It took an entire three minutes for Emma to muster up the confidence to text Taylor, but once she'd hit send, she didn't know why she was nervous at all. The musician responded promptly, hardly thirty seconds later, not that Emma was counting, and relayed the message that she was also ready, adding a pinned location to the text sent next.
Emma
Hi, this is Emma! I'm good to go if you are!
Taylor Swift
I'm good to go!
Taylor Swift
📍155 Franklin Street, New York
Emma
Can I suggest something totally insane?
Taylor Swift
Are you planning on murdering me?
Emma couldn't help but laugh at the outlandish response that Taylor gave in only a matter of seconds, though she supposed it was a valid follow up to her slightly cryptic message. She'd been quite fond of the properties on Franklin Street when she'd been scouring the New York market, she'd almost bitten the bullet and settled down there even, but the small town actress much preferred her quaint building to the extravagancies of what Franklin Street had to offer. Despite that, she was still hyperaware of the distance between her chosen residence and Taylor's.
Emma
I wouldn't tell you if I was, so you'll
just have to trust that I won't.
EmmaYou're four blocks from me. Would you wanna ditch the cars and take advantage of the weather?
Taylor Swift
Four blocks?! Where's your apartment?!
Emma
📍121 Reade Street, New York
Taylor Swift
Tribeca Abbey! My brother was
oddly obsessed with the interior when
I was looking at places 😹
Taylor Swift
Do you think I'd draw more or less
attention to myself with a baseball cap on?
Emma
Definitely more. The art to staying hidden is
looking like you're trying to stand out
Taylor
I see why they call you the limelight
legend now 😹
Emma
Don't go sharing all my secrets now
Emma
I'll see you in ten
Emma smiled softly to herself as she stood from the edge of her bed and made her way back out into the living room where Parker was sitting stiffly in the seldom armchair toward the far left corner of the room. Emma hadn't thought much about seating arrangements when she'd moved in, she hardly ever had any company for it to matter much at all, but her mixed matched arrangement of furniture had slowly grown favorable.She brushed her fingers along the back of the couch, looking at Parker with an expression he would never grow fond of, no matter how big his yearly bonus ended up being. Her eyes, a murky shade of indigo, were narrowed with knowing mischief. Her lips, a neutral shade that twinged darker than peach but lighter than pink, curved into a shy smirk."I assume we're leaving the car?" Parker sighed tiredly, though he couldn't truly harbor any negative feelings toward Emma. If he lived within the fishbowl of fame like she did, he'd crave just a few hours of normalcy as well. It was merely human nature. Although Emma did an exceptional job of flying beneath the radar when she wasn't on set or attending her yearly event. Parker didn't miss the days of multiple award shows a week, but he did miss the days of happiness that had once fallen upon Emma without any real effort."Was I that obvious?" Emma blushed bashfully in response, drawing her shoulders up to her earlobes as she shrank into herself rather sheepishly. She was aware that she was the one in power, that she employed Parker and he had no choice but to go along with her decisions, but he'd become something adjacent to a parental figure since her mothers passing and his approval meant something to her — even if she often ignored it entirely.Parker scoffed, his dark brown eyes creasing just the slightest bit in fondness that he couldn't fight. "You're a damn good actor, kid, but you can't hide anything for shit.""I know!" Emma groaned rather exasperatedly, throwing her hands out at her sides as she looked at her security detail with eyes clouded with annoyance. She'd never been a good liar, not when it mattered. She valued honesty and trust too much, especially when it came down to those that she cared about. "I told Taylor we'd meet her at the apartment, Lovers is twenty or so blocks east."Parker nodded, absorbing the information. He pulled out his painfully out dated Samsung, thick fingers making a mess of the tiny digital keyboard. "I'll have Flynn on standby with the car incase anything goes south.""Nothing will. How many times do I have to tell you not to speak shit like that into existence, Parker." Emma quipped back at the balding man, her colored eyes slitted into sharp daggers that held no real malice. She appreciated his concern, there was no question of whether her best interest and safety was his priority, but sometimes she wondered if she said little things like that just to rile her up."Respectfully Emma, you're the only one who believes that Mercury being in renegade has any impact on events."With her hand on the door handle, merely seconds away from pulling it open and disappearing into the thin and brightly lit hallway, Emma shot a glare over her shoulder at her bodyguard. "It's retrograde, Parker, and the term you're looking for is manifesting. I'm the only one who believes in manifesting events. Mercury has nothing to do with it."Parker didn't respond, not that Emma expected him to. He fell into step with her easily, remaining just far enough for it to seem unsuspecting, but close enough to grab her arm if anything were to present itself. Emma didn't need directions to find Taylor's apartment, she'd practically committed the TriBeCa area to memory since she moved in, but she counted off the lampposts she passed anyways, keeping her senses sharp and her ears vigilant. She'd never drop her guard entirely, not even with Parker merely three steps behind her.Taylor was loitering in the lobby when Emma walked up, her bright blue eyes searching the streets for something the English actress couldn't be sure of. She didn't look distressed, but she didn't appear entirely relaxed either. Emma couldn't blame her, she wouldn't blame her, they shared the same feelings of caution."Oh, hi!" Taylor grinned at the approaching figures, having been lost in her head just enough to have missed Emma coming through the revolving door while Parker opted to take the standard entrance. She heard the soft footsteps though, and her eyes that had been watching the street through a window just beside the entrance flickered to the left when they drew closer. "Sorry, it's surprisingly quiet out there tonight. It felt a little bit off, honestly."Emma frowned at the quiet admission, her eyebrows furrowing though she wasn't surprised and couldn't even pretend to be. Her Los Angelos residence was practically a breeding ground for paparazzi and fans, and knowing the difference in status between the two of them, she couldn't imagine what level of chaos transpired outside of Taylor's. Emma was popular, painfully popular, but there was always something elevated to the stardom that musicians fell into. "Everything's clear outside. Parker would've pulled me into an alleyway if he thought someone was out there. I mean, you can't be a legend if you're spotted on the streets at one in the morning."Taylor laughed softly at Emma's comment, taking a second to accept her softly spoken assurance of safety before she continued, "You'd be labeled a vampire by time the papers hit the stand tomorrow.""The Limelight Vampire just doesn't have the same ring to it." Emma crinkled her nose rather adorably, shaking her head in disinterest at being rebranded in the eyes of the media. She wasn't overly fond of the name she'd been given and worn on the cover of every news article since twenty-thirteen, but she'd come to appreciate the alliteration at least. Make the best of a bad situation, her mother had always said, and though the cliche words didn't sound the same in her own voice, Emma genuinely tried to do just that."It doesn't." Taylor laughed amusedly whilst shaking her head, bleach blonde locks trailing after the sharp motion and fluttering through the air rather ungracefully. Emma laughed along with her, already abandoning the feelings of panic that had clutched at her tightly. "That's Parker, isn't it?" Taylor turned her attention on the security detail that hadn't attempted to approach, but was quite obviously assessing their surroundings and keeping a pointed eye on Emma."Yeah, he's a bit of a worrywart." Emma turned to look at Parker, rolling her eyes when she realized he was stood across the lobby with his hands in his pockets, attempting to look as threatening and unapproachable as humanly possible. "Parker, would you quit trying to intimidate her. I swear, you're actually worse than Flynn."It was a running joke between both Parker and Flynn regarding who could make Emma's company the most uncomfortable in a short amount of time, it was rather harmless, one of person had ever genuinely freaked out, but each time Emma watched the competition ensue she scolded the both of them, mumbling beneath her breath about how grown men never seemed to outgrow annoying alpha male masculinity. Parker wasn't as serious about the competition as Flynn was, but he still enjoyed teasing the younger man every time they were together."Trying to be worse than Flynn was actually the goal, ma'am." Parker responded, falling back on the typical formalities he exchanged whenever Emma was with others. She appreciated his intentions, but she'd told him a million times that Emma was more than fine in all circumstances. The blonde rolled her eyes, turning back to Taylor with amused annoyance sprinkled into the sea of blue she bore within her eyes each day."Flynn's essentially his work boyfriend. They have a running competition on who can intimidate the people I'm with the fastest. Parker's winning, obviously." Emma mused, fiddling with the cuffs of her quarter zip as she looked back at Taylor. "I'd say he's harmless, but he did tackle the last stalker that tried to sneak into my house."That was the kind of sentence only Taylor could laugh at, though the blonde's heart clenched in her chest at the admission of truth Emma let slip without second thought; like it was normal — which it was to them. "I'll keep that in mind if I'm ever caught outside your window." Taylor teased before she nodded her head back toward the doors, "Wanna get going?"Emma nodded wordlessly, smiling softly as she led the way back out onto the seemingly abandoned streets, though not without taking the revolving door and nodding for Taylor to come along with her. TriBeCa wasn't known for having much of a night life presence, but even then it was eerily quiet as she walked beside Taylor, making casual conversation about their upcoming projects and plans. It felt painfully easy to talk to Taylor, Emma decided as she asked the blonde about the approaching award show she was nominated within. It didn't feel like they'd only met that evening, somehow, it felt like they'd known each other for the span of twenty years and had finally had the chance to fall into cahoots again."It feels like there's a lot at stake this time around." Taylor admitted to Emma, her blue eyes flickering between the quiet sidewalk ahead of them and the eyes of the woman at her right. She'd taken the side of the pathway closest to the road instinctively, trapping Emma between her body and the buildings they passed by. "I mean, you always want to win, but this time around feels different. I've never had someone actively taking credit for my success before, it feels like if I don't win, that just proves him right."Emma listened intently as the blonde went on to detail the events that had unfolded between herself and Kanye West, and as Emma pieced together the timeline of their supposed rivalry — although she wasn't so sure Taylor had been the one to label it as such — she wasn't able to comprehend how Taylor was dealing with everything so gracefully. She would've been in pieces, that much she was absolutely certain of. "If it's any consolation, which I'm sure it's not because anyone with a fully developed frontal lobe should've been able to make the same assessment, but I've thought Kanye was a dick long before that song came out."Taylor scoffed amusedly at the wry admission, her eyes twinkling beneath the ambient glow of the lampposts that lined the street they walked across. "Do you have magical powers that somehow advanced the development of your frontal lobe?" She shot back, fully aware of the science behind brain development from one too many episodes of Greys Anatomy."Yes actually, I do. I mean, I'm sure the courts wouldn't legally emancipate an underdeveloped seventeen year old. That'd be very irresponsible." Emma snorted softly, her own eyes gleaming with amusement as she matched Taylor's stare."Emancipation, huh? I don't think I read about that in the wiki page." It was then that Emma realized what she'd walked herself into, and the upbeat expression adorning her face morphed into something stoic and equally despondent.Taylor, though unaware of the reason for Emma's sudden change in attitude, could tell that her comment hadn't landed on its feet the way she'd intended for it to, but before she could backtrack and begin talking about the outfit she planned to wear to the Grammy's, Emma was speaking up. The actresses accent was polished; stronger than it had presented been all night. "My publicist fought like hell to keep it off the front page. I was seventeen, and despite popular belief, my frontal lobe was not fully developed. My Mum wasn't getting any better— I think she knew what was coming, because she suggested I file for emancipation. She didn't want me losing my career if my Aunt wasn't willing to travel, which she wasn't. It was honestly just so I could keep working and traveling if she— if she passed away before I turned eighteen. She did. She passed six months before my birthday."Taylor's heart felt like a stack of stones in her chest, heavy and sinking as she listened quietly to Emma's story. Tears prickled along her waterline as she made the connection between the aforementioned illness and the woman's annual appearance at the Butterfly Ball. She got the hint that Emma wasn't one to accept pity, not that Taylor wanted to give it, so softly she said, "My Mom was diagnosed last year with breast cancer. My Dad had prostate cancer when I was a kid, I don't remember much of it, but I know it was hard for them. That was when their marriage really started falling apart, when he became more like a manager than a father just to avoid coming home to her. I can't imagine what he was going through, trying to uphold this image of a put together father while his entire world is falling apart, but somehow I think it's harder on my Mom to be going through this now, when we're capable of understanding the implications of chemo and radiation, when we know that there's not always a way out. I can never fully understand what you've been through, fuck I'm twenty-six, and I was fortunate enough to have my Mom watch me turn eighteen and twenty-one, but on some level, I can understand.""Your Mum is going to get better." Emma smiled, reaching out to intertwine her freezing fingers with Taylor, though the blonde didn't have much of a reaction to her frigid extremities. Emma squeezed them softly when the bleach blonde didn't immediately pull away from the touch, keeping them laced together without a second thought. "You have to tell yourself that you believe that, even if you don't, even when it feels so far from the truth. If you let yourself think the worst, you'll regret it when she's really gone."Taylor laughed a watery laugh, pulling the hand that wasn't holding Emma's up to her cheeks. She wiped away the tears that had fallen, collecting them on the tips of her fingers before she dragged them down the fabric of her jacket. "Maybe your frontal lobe really is fully developed.""Oh yeah, I'm practically an eighty year old woman." Emma laughed along with the musician, their upbeat atmosphere slipping back into place now that the discussion of mothers and cancer had come and passed. "When do you leave for California?""Tuesday. I'll probably stay for a couple months, visit the studio and try and create a concept for my next album. If there is a next album, that is. Everything's riding on the Grammy's and Kanye right now." Taylor didn't let the attention linger on her for much longer after that, turning the questions on the shorter blonde at her side. "What about you? What's next for Emma Collins?""Well, I start filming season three of Allure next month. That'll take me out to Vancouver for four months before we come back down to Atlanta. Other than that, I've got a movie premiere and a good couple of books I want to read." Emma laughed softly, nudging her shoulder into Taylor's when the musician teasingly prodded at her ribs."Just a little movie premiere, nothing major!" Taylor rolled her eyes rather dramatically, her voice raising a decent number of octaves as she mimicked Emma's nonchalant attitude. The younger of the two laughed amusedly, crinkling her nose and poking out the tip of her tongue petulantly."It's the first children's movie I've done in a long time, the first animated film I've been apart of ever too. I'm too nervous about how it's going to land to even think about the fact that it's finally coming out. I have to say though, if recording a film is anything like recording an album, I think you're absolutely insane. I never want to hear my own voice again." Emma shuddered at the memory of the many hours she'd spent holed up in the recording studio absolutely perfecting her lines. She was absolutely positive that the production team wanted to strangle her every time she stopped short in the middle and asked to start again, but she'd been the only cast member not asked to come in months last and record some touch-ups. She'd have to remind Timothy (the lead sound guy) of that fact whenever she saw him next.Taylor threw her head back in laughter at the admission, though she couldn't entirely disagree with Emma in the sense of hearing her own voice; it was certainly an interesting experience. "I think musics easier. I don't know if you're aware, but I'm kind of big in the animated film industry. I did this massive film called The Lorax, you've definitely seen it." Taylor boasted playfully, stopping just outside of the gated entrance to Lovers of Today. She opened the door for herself and Emma, keeping it propped open for Parker until he could grab it for himself."Oh, I've seen it. About a million times. In fact, I'm probably the reason it's such a timeless staple in American homes." Emma wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, though there was some level of truth to her words. She was fortunate enough, or maybe unfortunate enough, to have younger cousins who were the target audience for the film, and though she saw her extended family seldom, they spent that entire Christmas weekend watching that one singular film on a brain bleeding loop.Emma guided Taylor toward one of the high top tables in the far back corner of the dive bar, instantly shrugging off her quarter zip and laying it over the back of the chair to save their place in the off chance that somebody else stumbled inside. Though it was only approaching one-thirty in the morning, Lovers was essentially dead aside from the single bartender stood behind the counter and a young couple who looked one cocktail away from being cut off."Parker, can I get you anything?" Emma turned to question her security detail, but was unsurprisingly met with the shake of his head and the raise of his palm as he gestured for her to focus solely on herself and Taylor. The honey-blonde woman rolled her eyes before she zoned back into her own little bubble with the musician, linking their arms as she stalked up to the bar top with her card and ID in hand."What can I get you ladies tonight?" The bartender, Joe apparently, turned to question them whilst simultaneously wiping down the interior of his shaker. There was a white towel thrown over his shoulder that had apparently been forgotten about, and Emma couldn't help but smile amusedly at the sight of him holding two towels at once."I'll have an old fashion on the rocks." Taylor hummed without much thought, having not bothered to scan the menu for whatever the specialty cocktail of the day was. After the night she'd had, truly facing the reality of her mother's diagnosis in a semi-public approach, all she wanted was something strong and efficient."I'll take a Waterloo Sunrise." Emma nodded at the menu, pointing toward the very last drink listed in white chalk marker ink. She had anticipated being carded, she knew she hardly looked a day over eighteen let alone twenty-one, so when Joe extended his hand for her ID, she didn't even pretend to be offended like she typically would've. "You can put it on my card." She exchanged the thin plastic license for her credit card when Joe hummed his acceptance at her birthdate before handing it back. She batted at Taylor's side when the bleach blonde attempted to refuse, mustering up the sweetest smile she could manage and directing Joe that under no circumstances was he allowed to charge Taylor."I invited you out." Taylor rolled her eyes at Emma's little stunt, though her lips, still stained from the vibrant lipstick she'd worn only a few hours earlier, curved into a dangerous smirk."And I, don't know why that ever has anything to do with who pays." Emma matched the singers twinkling grin, falling into a fit of giggles when Taylor rolled her eyes exasperatedly.When they retrieved their drinks and settled back at the hightop table that Parker had kept an eye on, they fell back into casual conversation naturally, though Emma found that it was easy to be transparently personal with Taylor with or without the liquid courage in hand; more-so then it had ever been with her own mixed matched friend group of characters. They talked about anything either one of them could possibly think of — favorite colors, favorite movies, the time Emma's father forgot her in a supermarket and she had to call her mom at work on a pay phone because it was the only number she knew by heart — staying holed up in that little dive bar until closing. It hadn't felt like three hours had passed by as they talked and laughed, but as they began the walk back to their respective apartments, Parker just three steps behind them at all times, Emma was beginning to feel the extent of her exhaustion. Her exhaustion however, didn't stop her from clinging onto Taylor's bicep when the woman had come dangerously close to splitting poles with her.They said goodbye in the middle of the sidewalk, and Taylor hugged Emma tightly.They didn't see each other again until July.
The 2016 Emmy's were a big night for 21 year old actress, Emma Collins. The English-American starlet walked away with yet another award for Best Leading Actress in a Drama Series, which makes this her second Emmy win since the debut of Allure in early 2015. The only question fans were left with was; where is Emma Collins.
Collins, known for her roles in Allure and Stoplight, has notably been missing from the red carpets since 2012. The actress that rose to fame in 2003 for her role as Ray Scheine in Uptown Girl, was once the talk of the town, but has noticeably stepped back from the spotlight since her mother's passing, which leaves fans to wonder, what happened to Emma Collins, and how long can her career survive when they're left to cheer for an empty seat?
—
Everything To Know About Emma Collins!
—
Emma Collins 'Downfall': What Really Happened To Hollywoods Rising Star
—
Emma Collins Stuns In Pink Gown for The 2016 Butterfly Ball
—
Where Is Emma Collins? Everything You Need To Know About The Limelight Legend
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
THE COLLINS RESIDENCE
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
Emma Collins had spent far too many months abroad in Vancouver. She adored the experiences and opportunities that the film industry handed her at essentially little to no monetary cost, she really truly did, but falling into her own bed for the first time in nearly 5 months felt absolutely exquisite, and she decided within the first three seconds that she never wanted to leave the plush mattress her heavy bones sank into.Filming for season three of her televised series had begun in early March, when the weather in the southern peninsula was still gelid and required a rotation of scarves and thick wool beanies that just barely kept out the breeze. She'd tolerated the cold for six long weeks of filming before the earliest days of Spring had begun to peak through, though the change of season and temperature had only come with monsoon adjacent rain storms and production delays. The fourteen weeks that had been previously allotted to filming in Canada had become seventeen, and while Emma was merely grateful that she had the opportunity to work at all, she still wasn't the happiest about the extension.The English-American actress had absolutely abandoned the concept of unpacking, and instead chose to lay flat on her back in the center of her bed in her lavish Los Angeles home. Her hands, shaky from the chaos that had been her four hour flight, were folded over her belly and laced together at her knuckles. She felt each inhale as she breathed in deeply, and she similarly felt each soft exhale. She hadn't been able to close her eyes and just rest in weeks; always the first to be called and the last to get wrapped, the pleasure of being the leading actress. She wouldn't be moving from her house, or merely her bedroom, until she had to hop on another flight— this time from Los Angeles to Atlanta.Just beyond her lengthy terrance that overlooked the Santa Monica mountains, a million different lives were playing out in similar and dissimilar ways. The last time Emma had come back to her Pacific Palisades residence, almost a full year ago if she remembered the dates correctly, she'd been both fortunate and unfortunate enough to overhear a couple in the midst of a divorce, walking the neighborhood with both high tension and passion— a dangerous combination when considering the endless possibilities of what could've possibly led to the split. It was quiet this time around, though with the sliding doors open in the master bedroom, allowing the heavy heat and sunlight to fall against her skin still frozen over from the chilly flight, she could just faintly identify the sound and smell of a barbecue happening somewhere nearby. Probably the Paxtons on the next street over.Emma sighed softly to herself as she dragged her clammy palms down her face, deciding that however appealing it was to just melt into her mattress and avoid the real world for a couple of hours, or weeks, that she couldn't just let the hours pass her by until nightfall fell firmly over Los Angeles. She sat up slowly, lightheaded from the many hours of traveling and lack of proper nutrition. There wasn't anything of substance left to eat in the house, maybe a rouge box of pasta noodles and a jar of forgotten peanut butter that hadn't made it out of the pantry when she'd made the big move across country, but nothing that had survived a year in California would Emma's appetite.She reached for her phone, the device just a few inches to her left and practically dead after having forgotten to charge it the night prior. Her notifications had been silenced since arriving at the airport at noontime, and only then did Emma realize that a handful of texts awaited her. She'd never even begun to consider investing in a private jet; her agent had repeatedly suggested the purchase, more for her privacy then her status, but no matter how much money Emma made from her projects, she'd never found it beneficial to become one of many celebrities that traveled via private jet. First class was already a privilege, she feared how quickly she'd lose touch with reality if she really did commit to full isolation at every corner.Deciding that food could be pushed off for a little while longer, especially because Emma had no interest in actually moving out of bed just yet, the woman shuffled back against her headboard and opened her message chains, legs crossed at the ankles and head resting against the wall. She'd been talking to Taylor nearly every week since their night out in Manhattan back in February, though they'd never had the chance to physically reconnect since then. There'd been a few instances where Emma had been in New York for a short weekend, having prior commitments with her recently uprooted publicist, but each time the starlet touched down in the city, Taylor took off again. It was essentially a never ending game of cat and mouse, though both blondes found it more amusing than perturbing.
Taylor Swift
Have a safe flight! I'm definitely rewatching
Greys right now. Don't end up like Lexie!
Taylor Swift
Are you free July 1st - July 5th?
Emma
Why would you even mention Lexie 😭
Emma
I can make myself available... I'm
currently in LA
Emma smiled softly at Taylor's first message, appreciating the sentiment that not even her closest friends had offered to extend, though she talked to them very sparely nowadays. She'd grown quite close with the blonde over the last four months, becoming particularly fond of the musicians insistence to always wish her the best with everything she did. If Emma mentioned absolutely anything to Taylor, whether it be a costume fitting or a flight, she would always receive an uplifting text message hours beforehand wishing her safety and luck. It was endearing, and Emma tried her absolute best to return the favor, though Taylor Swift was quite a hard woman to locate in day to day life.It didn't surprise Emma that merely seconds after her message had been successfully sent — because for as much as she pays in taxes and bills, her service was consistently hit or miss — the receipts beneath her last message changed from 'received' to 'read'. For such a popular and busy woman, always on the move and never in the same place for longer then a couple of weeks at a time, Taylor had always made Emma feel like she was the only girl in the world. There was no comprehending how she could juggle everything so seamlessly, but Emma had chalked it up to Taylor just being Taylor.
Taylor Swift
You're in LA?! I'm in LA! I
thought you were heading straight
to Atlanta?!
Emma
There was a scheduling conflict with Oliver.
They pushed my scenes back until mid-July!
Emma
Now, why am I making myself available for the
first through the fifth? My bed is quite comfy!
Taylor Swift
I host a Fourth of July party every year.
It's one of the only times everyone's able to
get together. I was hoping you'd want to come?
Taylor Swift
I promise nobody will post anything
about you unless you give explicit permission!
I'll make them sign NDAs!
Emma couldn't help but laugh fondly at the genuine concern portrayed in Taylor's immediate follow-up to the invitation. If the actress was being entirely honest with herself, she hadn't even considered that spending a holiday weekend with Taylor could very easily insinuate her picture being circulated through the media like a wildfire if it happened to get out, but she was more then comforted by Taylor's reassurances. It wasn't like she was actively avoiding the media, though that was the case some days, the truth of the matter was that she'd just chosen to live rather discreetly.EmmaNobody has to sign any NDAs, if you trust themthen so do I. You've never given me a reason to doubt you or your intentions.
Emma
Now back to what's important, you're in LA?
Taylor Swift
Yeah! I'm up in Beverly Hills!
Although I leave for Rhode Island
tomorrow at 3pm
Emma
You could be down in Pacific Palisades 😻
Taylor Swift
Did you just cat emoji me?
Emma
So it's okay when you do it, but you
question when I do it? That's very hypocritical
Taylor!
Taylor Swift
Me? Hypocritical? Never!
Taylor Swift
Well, since you're coming to the
party, it would be a real shame to have
to book your own flight when you could
just fly out with me...?
Emma
That was the worst invitation ever,
but... I could be convinced
Taylor Swift
And how would one go about convincing you?
Emma
Well I wouldn't be able to say no if a
certain blonde showed up at my doorstep
with chinese takeout
Emma
📍14550 Gallaudet Pl, Pacific Palisades, CA
Emma didn't hear from Taylor again. She laughed quietly, shaking her head as she went about answering the other messages she'd acquired since practically forgetting about her phone's existence that morning in the airport. The only other person besides Taylor that Emma was regularly in contact with was her best friend Zealand, and while they spent most of the year separated by thousands of miles, his outlandish texts never failed to pull a smile onto her lips.When there was nobody else to catch up with, Emma decided that she couldn't stay bundled up in bed for any longer then she already had, practically itching to settle back into her home in some type of way. There wasn't much to be done around the house though, which was usually a relief when she returned from long months away, but now she almost wished there was a spill to be cleaned or a drawer to be organized. She had always been meticulous about cleaning thoroughly before she left for any period of time, at any of her properties, though when she'd turned nineteen, she'd hired two amazing housekeepers that came in every three months just to keep the shelves neat and the dust minimal when she was away from her California residence. For a while it had been the perfect little routine, but, after almost a year spent outside of the golden state, Emma felt like an intruder in her own perfectly kept home. There was not a single picture frame out of place, not a single trinket left out for the eye to catch, everything was so painfully clinical and Californian. She couldn't foresee living in the house much longer, she'd outgrown the cutthroat atmosphere of Los Angeles long ago, but she held onto the memories that lingered beside her saltwater pool and on the lounge chairs spread across her terrance.This had been one of her mother's favorite houses. It was the house that Emma had been within when she was nominated for her first Golden Globes award at fifteen. It was the house that she had come home to after winning her first Emmy that same year. It was the house that Elizabeth Collins had received her cancer diagnosis in — through a phone call with her doctor that had taken place on the plush white leather sofa in the living room. Emma couldn't turn a single corner without being reminded of some of the worst and best moments of her life, and although it felt suffocating at times, like the month of May when she should've been able to celebrate her mothers birthday, it felt perfectly like any home should've. If she could pick the house up and move it to an entirely different state, Emma would never even consider selling it.Shaking her head, the honey-blonde actress forced herself onto solid ground for the first time in nearly two hours. The sunset was whimsical as it reflected off of the clear saltwater pool, wispy clouds of purple and pink creating a radiant presence within her bedroom. She wouldn't think about her mother, not today, not when she finally was starting to feel okay in her skin again. Instead, Emma rifled through her closet for an outfit that could be equally considered pajamas. All of her favorite summer pajama sets were back in her New York apartment, and flannel pants didn't quite fit with the near ninety degree heat that was falling overtop of the California mountains. That was the only downside of owning properties in four different American states. She had a place to crash almost anywhere she could anticipate getting work, but it came at the price of never having all of her favorite items in one place. For a while, Emma considered just buying four of her favorite things at all times, but Zealand had called her insane for even considering that and she couldn't exactly disagree.It took six minutes before Emma decided on a pair of boxer style pajama shorts and a disregarded t-shirt hanging in the back of her closet that she wasn't sure was even her own. The shorts had been acquired from a Walmart in Denver when she was fifteen, one of the very first purchases she'd made with the money she'd earned from her first Golden Globes nominated film. The carribean blue color had once been her favorite shade to own, but after years of constant wear and months of abandonment, they'd faded considerably; much like her happiness. She scoffed at the self-deprecating comparison, but couldn't exactly find a fault in it either.The shower she took had felt absolutely amazing; so amazing that she almost wished that she had climbed into it sooner and stayed beneath the hellfire hot water longer, but now that she was squeaky clean and no longer harboring some kind of infectious disease that could've been picked up from her hours in the airport, she felt the persistent twinge of boredom once again making itself known within her restless limbs and mind. Emma knew that her mother would've had something fun and entirely random for them to spend the night occupied with, but Elizabeth wasn't around, and as much as the girl liked to create scenarios in her head where she walked through the front door like death hadn't been proven to be permanent, that would never be the reality she lived in. She supposed if she really wanted to, she could unpack her current suitcase and pack another one for the weekend getaway to Rhode Island, but even the thought of folding another article of clothing had turned her off of the idea entirely.Emma sighed, deciding that if she was going to be spending the weekend celebrating a holiday that demanded a specific color scheme, she might as well fall fully into the aesthetic that Americans couldn't get enough of. The blonde woman rifled through her proclaimed medicine cabinet for the bottles of sparkly polish that she kept in a neat line, never moving them any farther then her master bedroom to ensure that the next time she sought them out, she'd know where to find them. Though it had been a while since she'd painted her nails, or even been in this particular house, the rainbow palette was exactly where she'd anticipated it to be, and thoughtfully Emma pulled down all three colors that she was sure would adorn Taylor's residence.The tightly sealed bottle of red hadn't even been fully opened when the doorbell rang and Emma's phone chimed with a notification from her security cameras. She frowned in immediate concern and panic, her heart hammering in her chest at the memory of the last time she'd had an unexpected visitor in this exact location. She'd unfortunately been in the shower when her doorbell had rang sixteen times in what she could only assume was an exaggerated eleven seconds, if she was being honest with herself, it was more like five seconds, but she hadn't wanted to admit the level of derangement that had occurred when Parker had come to her aid. It was a silly embellishment, one that hadn't changed the severity of the situation, but she'd been only nineteen years old and terrified; nobody could blame her for the last minute change.Emma reached for her phone hesitantly, not sure if she wanted to know the threat level of the situation immediately, or never. Truthfully, the answer was never, who wanted to know if another stalker had scaled their ten foot gate and ambushed their front door for no other reason than wanting a picture, but that wasn't a choice Emma had the privilege of making. She hadn't even realized that she was holding her breath until she exhaled in relief, recognizing the choppy blonde bob that stood awkwardly close to the security camera with two paper bags between clenched fists.Abandoning the three different shades of vegan nail polish, Emma felt capricious as she rushed toward the entryway of her Los Angeles home, her feet not yet sock clad but practically sliding against the hardwood anyways. She carefully unlatched all three deadbolts that assured the door couldn't be easily jimmied before allowing the heavy oak to swing on its frequently oiled hinges and reveal a bashfully grinning blonde bombshell."You gave me a heart attack!" Emma extended a single trembling limb, allowing her open palm to hit at Taylor's left shoulder with more force then initially intended before she was all but pouncing on the blonde and pulling her up into a firm albeit gentle hug — a hug that she'd been desperately yearning for since late March when their friendship had shifted into something esoteric. "Hi! I've missed you! I talk to you every week but I missed you!" Emma gushed, pulling away from Taylor's chest only to practically nose dive right back into her warmth when she'd decided she was yet satisfied.Taylor, who had been shocked by Emma's initial reaction, couldn't help but throw her head back and laugh in an effortlessly pulchritudinous manner. The sound was diaphanous, elegant, entirely consuming, something straight out of a movie that hadn't been written yet. Emma didn't mind the vibrations against her cheek, nor did she notice that Taylor hadn't hugged her back, rather stood carefully still on the doorstep and merely attempted to reciprocate the embrace with the craning of her neck. The younger counterpart of the embrace was entirely enthralled with just the simple fact that after so many months, they were finally back together again.When Taylor realized that Emma wasn't planning on letting go of her own accords, she giggled quietly and nudged the shorter blonde with her slightly tender shoulder. She'd have to remember that Emma carried a mean slap, even if she'd self diagnosed herself with noodle arms. "You know, I can give you a real hug if you invite me inside and let me set these bags down."Only after Taylor had begun to taunt her did Emma realize she was still clinging to the musicians torso. Bashfully, she nodded her acceptance that the embrace had met its ultimate end and stepped away, her cheeks tinted the color of cherry tomatoes that had been picked fresh from a field in the late months of summertime. She opened the door wide enough for Taylor to step past the threshold, quickly closing and locking it once the option was made available and no stray limbs or bags could be caught in the process."I didn't think you were actually coming." Emma admitted sheepishly, scratching nervously at her bicep as she shifted her weight between naked feet still slightly damp from the shower and avoided Taylor's amused stare. "You actually brought chinese!""And ice cream!" Taylor jostled the slightly smaller bag in her left hand, apparently not worried about the lids losing their seal and creating a sticky mess within the brown paper. "Although they definitely need to spend at least an hour in the freezer before we even attempt to break into them." She giggled, and Emma nodded enthusiastically at the mentioned sweet treat getting extra frozen before they consumed it. She was adamantly not a fan of soupy ice cream, much like she was vehemently against soft serve."Well then I suppose it's a good thing I forgot to place my grocery order. There's more than enough room in the freezer!" Emma laughed sweetly, nodding toward the far right side of the house where her kitchen and living room resided. "Did you pay off Jared? He always tells me when somebody arrives."Bashfully, knowing that she'd been found out, Taylor grinned down at the blonde in a manner that Emma would have only been able to define as cheeky, as she was guided into the kitchen. The actress made a direct b-line for the freezer that actually was entirely empty and ready to hold onto their ice creams until later in the evening. "I may have offered to send his daughter a signed 1989 cd in exchange for his silence." The musician shrugged jestingly, although Emma wasn't even looking in her direction to witness the gesture or matching expression adorning the blonde's face.The actress spun around on her heels at the soft spoken admission, her once wide and electric blue eyes narrowed into thin daggers that held no actual malice, but still intended to intimidate. "Do I get a signed 1989 cd? I mean it's only fair considering I thought you were a creepy stalker on my doorstep for an entire seven and a half seconds.""I think I can make that happens." Taylor giggled, setting the takeout bags down on the island for Emma to sort through when she was ready. The ice cream had been tucked away for later, all the remained left out and waiting was the assortment of foods that Taylor hadn't been able to choose between when she'd initially called to place the order, not so discreetly beneath the name Alison Tift. "Can I hug you now?"Emma didn't even bothering answering, rather, she shuffled into Taylor's chest for the second time in only a handful of minutes and wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde's waist. Unlike moments prior when Taylor had stood stiffly in her embrace and had been all but unable to reciprocate the hug in any capacity, strong yet delicate arms looped around Emma's neck and drew her in impossibly close, provoking a sensation that was unfathomable to even the most eloquent poet. The musicians body felt like a heavy blanket being thrown over her shoulders, and when manicured fingers began to gently scratch at her upper back, Emma questioned when the state of California had become the earthside equivalent to heaven. She sighed contently, squeezing Taylor's waist just a fraction tighter before she left go entirely and reached for the chinese takeout."Hey! I wasn't done hugging you!" Taylor pouted in disappointment that wasn't entirely exaggerated. She'd been waiting just as long as Emma had to finally receive a hug, and now that she'd gotten a taste of the softness that was the actresses body, there was no denying her addiction. Despite her frown, she was equally as excited about the food that awaited them, and didn't linger on the lack of warmth across her chest for anymore seconds than she already had. She never could rationalize ordering chinese food for only herself, it seems like the type of meal you at with company, but now that she had the opportunity to use Emma as an excuse, she'd practically ordered one of everything on the menu — not practically, she had ordered one of everything on the menu. "I went a little overboard." Taylor laughed knowingly as she helped Emma unpacked the large brown bag and lay out all the containers across the deep black granite countertops."I can see that." Emma giggled, but her attention was immediately brought to the large container of sweet and sour chicken that she'd pulled out of the bottom of the bag. She didn't waste time teasing Taylor about her large purchase that they would ultimately end up giving to her night crew when realized set in regarding the sheer amount of food that they had, instead she focused all of her attention on getting the paper container open and stealing a piece of chicken that she'd been thinking about since the second hour of her flight. She sighed contently when the first bite was taken, her stomach anticipating the uncomfortably full feeling that would settle overtop of her in only an hour or so. "So good." She whispered more to herself than to Taylor, but the blonde still heard the comment and giggled."We're sharing that!" Taylor teased, though she was more than content to let Emma eat the entire container on her own if that's what it would take to see her smile like that for the rest of the night. There was just something about the way her eyes twinkled beneath the overhead lights in the kitchen that was entirely impalpable. As good as she was with words, there would never be one strong one enough perfectly encapsulate the way Emma appeared to Taylor right now."No! Mine!" Emma held the box of chicken to her chest possessively, hardly caring if a grease stain ruined the center of her t-shirt because of the action. She hadn't felt so light on her feet in months, a stained shirt she couldn't even remember the origins of would be the absolute least of her worries.Emma watched Taylor with twinkling blue eyes. The blonde was in her own little world, and Emma wasn't so sure she even realized that she was humming a familiar tune beneath her breath as she pulled open almost all of the takeout containers and inspected her options. It wasn't late by any means, but the sunset that had illuminated the interior of the house had almost slipped away entirely. The restaurant had been generous enough to provide them a stack of paper plates — probably thinking the large order was for more then two women — and Taylor used one of them to collect a few of everything from what she'd ordered. Emma giggled quietly beneath her breath, her eyes tracing the shadows that fell across Taylor's face as she broken pulled apart a set of wooden chopsticks."What's so funny?" The taller of the two quizzed rather unseriously, her perfectly sculpted eyebrows pinched together in an expression of bemusement as she turned her attention away from the assortment of takeout containers and over to Emma.Emma laughed sweetly at the expression that fell over Taylor's face when her silence stretched on for another handful of seconds, her lips curving into a smirk rather teasingly before she couldn't keep it in any longer. "The last time I saw you, your hair was bleach fucking blonde.""We met at a cancer foundation! I think that kind of event warrants some kind of breakdown hairstyle!" Taylor exclaimed rather exasperatedly, and Emma was absolutely certain that if she hadn't been holding up a flimsy plate, she'd have thrown her arms out at her sides rather stereotypically. "Don't tell me you've never had a breakdown haircut! Isn't that like a rite of passage for all child actors?" She teased, her blue eyes sparkling as she set her unwavering gaze on Emma.Emma pursed her delicate pink lips, and seconds later she began to shake her head rather smugly. "Nope." The childish nature of which she mustered up to pronounce the last consonant of the word provoked nothing but fluttering warmth in Taylor's chest. Before her stood a woman that had lost nearly everything of significance in life, though she still radiated nothing but positive and uplifting energy. Taylor could stand to learn a thing or two from Emma, but she'd be foolish to think that the shorter blondes perseverance could be replicated even marginally.Unwilling to let that short answer be the end of their conversation, Taylor gasped back at Emma with wide blue eyes and a disbelieving grin. "You're lying!""I'm not!" Emma's laughter was entirely melodious, a sound so entrancing that Taylor had the briefest flash of perfectly cultivated lyrics being laid overtop of it. The honey-blonde haired woman fished another piece of chicken out of the container, promptly biting into it as she wiggled rather adorably in contentment. "In the last seven years I've never had more than a two months break from filming, I'm literally contractually obligated to maintain the same color and cut unless directed otherwise!" The delivery of her statement was all but uninterpretable to Taylor, who had analyzed every word that fell off of the younger woman's lips since they'd first met. Emma always spoke properly, she allowed their to be no speculation regarding the genuine nature of her commentary, that was something that Taylor respected intensely, but the almost wistful hitch in her tone led the musician to believe that for the first time, there was something she wasn't outright saying. Maybe she didn't want to share, a large portion of her life was drenched in sadness, and Taylor could understand not wanting to divulge into the nitty gritty of her still healing wounds, or maybe she was just asking the wrong questions."Let's try this then!" Taylor began again, her blue eyes bright, not deterred by the blatant diversion that had been thrown her way. "If you could've had any hairstyle for the Ball, anything at all, like dreadlocks, or dye, or well, literally anything! What would it have been?"Emma visibly inflated at the reworded question, seemingly more willing to answer it now that it didn't involve her promulgating her complicated youth. "Now that's easy! A buzzcut.""A buzzcut?!" Taylor spluttered in amused shock, her eyes comically wide as she craned her neck closer to Emma's face, almost as if she believed that the space between their bodies had twisted the spoken words and made a joke out of them. "Emmy, you love your hair!"The two women didn't see each other nearly enough, their hectic work schedules barely allotted them enough time to even catch a decent nights sleep between obligations let alone spend a few hours grabbing a coffee, but they'd grown exceptionally close through their weekly text conversations and the occasional FaceTime call they'd orchestrate whatever Taylor was in a time zone that allowed it. Emma was the kind of texter that relayed even the simplest detail of her day. She loved to tell Taylor about the chaos that ensued at craft services, she made a habit out of sending pictures of her fruity drinks and cocktails; if something misfortunate happened to take place, Taylor would know about it within the hour. She made it so easy to get to know her, though Taylor went the extra mile and committed all of those little quirks to memory.Emma grimaced at the admission that fell off of Taylor's lips like it had been burned there for years. She hadn't even realized that the blonde knew that small detail about her, let alone was so passionate about it, but it curved a smile onto her lips at the sentiment though she couldn't do anything but agree. "I do. I really really do. Probably because I've always had the same haircut, forgiving the one project I did when they asked me to chop it up to my chin." Emma shivered at the memory, still profusely against the style the films creative team had chosen for her. She'd absolutely detested that haircut but there hadn't been any real choice to decline during that time in her career. "But, I think a buzzcut would be symbolic, especially for my once a year appearance." The blonde wiggled her eyebrows teasingly, electing a small giggle in response from Taylor who hung onto every word she spoke attentively. It was absolutely infuriating how Emma could always find a way to make light of her reputation. Taylor's hadn't even taken to severely of a hit and still she found herself in a spiral of self-deprecating thoughts at three in the morning."I wanted to buzz my head with my Mum when she first started her chemo treatments. I was big into unconditional solidarity, even made the nurses hook me up with a saline drip the first time I joined her at chemo. I'd told her it was so she didn't feel so much like a fish out of water, but honestly it was just so that I could have even a semblance peace of mind about the entire ordeal. When she started losing her hair, she didn't even try to salvage it, just took the clippers to her head and said, 'This is the one thing I can control right now. When I get better, it'll grow back'. I'd wanted to do it with her, wanted to show her that at least in that one little thing, she wasn't completely alone, but I was three months into a movie and it just wasn't an option. It still isn't an option, everything about my appearance is still cemented in a contract."Taylor smiled her sweetest smile at the blonde, her bright blue eyes tinged with an emotion that wasn't entirely dissimilar to sympathy — an emotional reaction that both she and Emma loathed, but it had been unconscious; annoyingly just for the moment. The Pennsylvania born woman has a mother with cancer, she knows the internal turmoil of never feeling adequate enough to provide efficient support, she just couldn't imagine being stranded in that feeling for the rest of her life like Emma was. "Consider your hair honorarily buzzed in my memory then.""My buzzcut and your hair bleached." Emma laughed that melodious laugh again, only this time her head tilted backward in refined delight and her indigo blue eyes fluttered shut on impulse. Taylor knew in that very moment that she would give anything, do anything, just to have that sound encapsulate her entire mind, body, and spirit the rest of her life; however long that ended up being. If she had come to understand anything since meeting Emma Collins, it was that no tomorrow was promised. "We really are the poster children for child stardom."Taylor couldn't help but laugh along with the actress at her declared statement, her cheeks rosy and aching by time they'd finally sobered up and met the other's eye again. "I believe I fulfilled my end of the convincing. I'm owed an official answer on whether you'll come to Holiday House with me?""Holiday House?" Emma frowned at the chosen vocabulary, her precisely tweezed eyebrows wrinkling as she pulled a face of confusion at the blonde across from her, their warm bodies still occupying the center of her modernized minimalism kitchen. "Have you gone and named your vacation home, Taylor? That's quite American. I don't suppose any of your many cars have names as well? Maybe even the espresso machine.""I didn't name it! The previous owners did! But yes, the houses name is Holiday House, and I sleep better at night knowing that she's well loved." Taylor didn't attempt to dismiss Emma's teasing accusations, rather she found herself falling right into it with elation. "I've been thinking about a name for the espresso machine. What about Muggle? There's a crack across the touchscreen that I've always thought resembles Harry's scar, and it requires you to place a mug beneath the spout before it'll brew! It's perfect!" Truthfully, Taylor hadn't given the thought much attention, if any at all, but she'd claim that she did a million times over just to have the pleasure of watching Emma giggle into her palm."Mmhm." Emma grinned, another piece of chicken between her grease coated fingertips, waiting to be eaten between sarcastic jabs that Taylor found great pleasure in entertaining. "That does seem like a perfect name then. Will you be requesting a birth certificate too?""Yes." The definitive answer had only spurred Emma's laughter on further, nearly causing her death as she prematurely swallowed her bite of chicken. The action resulting in her adorable spluttering for water, red tinted cheeks disappearing from sight as she rushed toward the filtered tap and stuck her head beneath the faucet, greedily swallowing mouthfuls of sink water in an attempt to dislodge the mush of half-chewed chicken from her throat. Taylor laughed at the display, her shoulders trembling as a result of her amusement, to which Emma flipped her off with a single hand raised behind her back.When Emma recovered, strands of blonde hair were visibly damp from the stream of water that she had all but encouraged to assault the lower half of her face, and in that moment she remembered the plans that she had made to paint her nails the color of American pride after stepping out of the shower. Abandoning the takeout box of fried and battered chicken on the edge of the counter, Emma set off in the direction of her en-suite bathroom, waving Taylor along joyously. "Come on! Come here!" She encouraged, though didn't elaborate, just guided the blonde through her breathtaking California home with impressive speed.Taylor didn't question the sudden divergence, she'd become accustomed to Emma's spontaneous ideas, though it was an entirely different experience witnessing it in its physical form. She finished off the last mouthful of food on her plate before she continued after the younger woman, attempting to remain focused on the sound of dispersing footsteps rather then the astonishing view that was visible through the long sliding glass door in the family room. Emma's property was enthralling. From the neutral tones that were seamlessly blended into the furnishing and paint choices, to the lighting structures that hung from ceilings, everything had so obviously been carefully chosen and implemented into the space. Nothing seemed like it was lying around just because. The home was easily a multimillion dollar investment, but Emma had a way of making it feel quaint.The en-suite bathroom was no different from the rest of the house, pristinely kept and minimal in decor, though touches of quirky personalizations lingered in select corners that only the most intimate of guests would ever see. Taylor felt honored to be amongst the few that ever stepped foot in a space so deeply personal to Emma, especially as she laid her sights on what she could only infer was a stegosaurus shaped toothbrush holder. It sat on the far left side of the black counter, two delicate shades of baby blue and sage, and very clearly made out of ceramic, the overhead lights glistening off of the glossy finish."I like your dinosaur." Taylor giggled endearingly, though she actively had to refrain from picking the object up and imitating the sounds the pre-historic creature would've made in the wild all those billions of years ago.Emma's cheeks flushed pink when her eyes trailed across the space and landed on the object under fire. Quickly, almost as quickly as she'd fled the kitchen, she grabbed the dinosaur and hid it away in the back of her medicine cabinet, jutting an accusing finger toward Taylor's chest. "Pretend you never saw that! That's not why we're in here!"Taylor's laughter continued on, but she attempted to save Emma any further humiliation, leaving all potential questions about the toothbrush holder to die in the back of her mind. "Why are we in here, might I ask?"Emma was beyond grateful for the immediate compliance to change the subject, and eagerly she pointed down at the three bottles of varnish set beside the sink, lined up in the assumed patriotic order. "I figured you'd have a theme for this weekend, and well, I don't exact own much, or any, celebratory American pride attire. I was going to paint my nails before you gave me an absolute heart attack."Taylor didn't need to be told anything more about the situation, she was more than eager to comply with Emma's off-railed plans. Wordlessly, she grabbed the bottle of red, holding it up to the light as she took note of the specs of glitter that were incorporated within the polish and how they had almost a maroon tint to them. It was an elegant shade, very on the nose red, but she thought it would compliment Emma's complexion wonderfully. "Sit down and give me your hands." She nodded toward the toilet, giggling when Emma pulled a face of utter disgust, but pulled the lid down and sat anyways.Taylor hummed her appreciation for Emma's instantaneous conformity, and grabbed the two other shades off of the counter before she sank into the tile floor and crossed her legs together like a shopping center food court pretzel. Her limbs were lanky, bony in all the stereotypical places, but they worked swimmingly well to be used as a table. The bottles of blue and white were tucked between her folded thighs, and she rested the bottle of red on the surface area of her left thigh before grabbing Emma's hand. "You want them to alternate, right?""Yes." Emma smiled softly down at Taylor, watching intensely as the musician carefully unscrewed the black lid and wiped the excess varnish off the saturated bristles and onto the interior rim of the bottle with great care and cation. "I've never celebrated this holiday before. My first independence day in America, Mum and I were jet lagged from a last minute redeye. We'd only just moved in, so we'd spent the day in our pajamas taking cat naps on the couch. Well, she fell asleep on the couch, I'd just discovered the hammock out front and had thought it was absolutely magical. When the neighbors started setting off fireworks, I freaked out and I ran back inside. By time we figured out what was happening, they'd already gone back to barbecuing. I was so mad, I sulked around the house for the rest of the night until Mum dug through one of the boxes and pulled out a lighter she'd kept from when my Dad passed. She taught me how to ignite it, and I spent a good couple of minutes just blowing it out and relighting it, oohing and awwing at the flame like it was my own portable firework. We'd tried to celebrate after that year, but I was usually working. Nobody ever considered that the English kid would want to go to a barbecue too."Emma hadn't been able to stop herself from sharing that specific memory once she had opened her mouth, but she didn't regret telling Taylor, she had no reservations about how the story would be received. In fact, she was almost certain that the blonde would understand entirely. "I've worked a couple of fourths. It's never fun. But I've really been prioritizing my relationships and experiences in the last couple of years, really been trying to differentiate between Taylor and Taylor. This party is something I really look forward to every year. Nobody has to fit into any kind of narrative, there aren't any cameras, no stiff tables and commercial breaks." Taylor grimaces in her position on the tile floors that are slowly warming to accommodate for her bodies radiating heat, but she doesn't look up at Emma as she pulls her heart onto her sleeve for the briefest second, instead, she continues to focus all of her attention on the nails she's painting red meticulously. "It's,— honestly— it feels like if summer camp and the Grammy's had a baby. You're aware of who you're doing shots with at the bar, there's no way you can't be, but they're just another person who has the same life as you do in that moment. It's an entirely unmatched feeling. Nobody's trying to determine whether they should acknowledge your career, or trying to figure out if not mentioning it will be offensive. It's just easy. It's one of the only weekends a year where this life genuinely feels easy. And I know everyone's going to love you. So I'm excited to get to introduce you to all of them.""Everyone wants this life, but they have no idea the kind of sacrifices we make everyday. They have no way of ever even coming close to fully grasping what it's like to wake up every morning not knowing if you'll be allowed to be yourself, or if a long lens camera is going to be shooting pictures of you through the windows of your own home while you try and make breakfast." Emma elaborates on Taylor's softly spoken admission, and the blonde on the floor feels her heart clench in that familiar feeling of grievousness that has a tendency to climb up her spine whenever she's confronted with the fact that some of her most favorite people experience the same personal invasions and obscene expectations as she does every day. "A large part of why I continue to stay away from media events is because I've finally reached a point in my career where I don't need to exploit myself for a movie to sell; not that I ever realized that was what was going on in the first place. When your entire life has revolved around doing the right thing, saying the right thing, wearing and speaking how somebody else wants you to... it's scary. It's really scary when you wake up one day as a seventeen year old orphan and realize that every single thing about you has either been ripped away, or entirely performative. I'm still trying to unravel everything that's happened, and there are some days where I still feel like I have no idea who I actually am— I wouldn't trade my opportunities for anything, the one thing I've never questioned is how fortunate I am to be able to do what I love, but it came at a price I have no idea how to pay.""I know who you are." Taylor smiled softly, wistfully almost, sapphire eyes only flickering upward briefly to meet indigo before they dipped down again. The thumbnail was being used a correction tool, scraping a small droplet of red paint away from Emma's soft cuticle. "You've shown me exactly who you are in the last five months, and you're easily one of my favorite people. You're someone kind, someone genuinely good, someone who will unconsciously make an effort to be present in any conversation. You send me a million pictures a week of the different lemonades you get at that one cafe in Vancouver. You make sure to text me every time you hear one of my songs on the radio, just so that I know you're thinking of me even if it's been a couple days since I last responded to your texts. You jump at any opportunity to help a friend, even when it means taking time away from yourself. I know exactly who you are, Emma. Whenever you need me to remind you, I'm right here waiting with a paragraph."Emma's eyes glisten as a result of the rapidly overflowing pools in her eyes, her chin quivering as she steadies her gaze on the crown of Taylor's head and doesn't let it waver. Her roots are lighter than the ends of her hair, the exposure to the summer sun revealing her true color. Emma thinks it's beautiful; she thinks everything about Taylor is beautiful: her laugh, her kindness and generosity, her obsession with elaborate words and scrabble. Taylor Swift knows exactly who Emma Collins is beneath the persona she's put on for the media for so many years, but Emma Collins knows exactly who Taylor Swift is beneath the same disguise."Do I get to meet your cats this weekend?" That is the only question that feels even remotely suitable for this unintended heart-to-heart moment, and when it reaches Taylor's ears, bouncing off the walls of the minimally echoey bathroom, it makes her laugh the most mellifluous laugh.That's just another thing added to the list of things Taylor loves about Emma. She has a feeling that she's never going to stop adding to it.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
HOLIDAY HOUSE
WATCH HILLS, RHODE ISLAND
Since returning to California and reuniting after nearly five full months of separation, Emma and Taylor had fallen perfectly into place as if the world was their own customized puzzle. After nails had been painted on the floor of the en-suite bathroom, and an overnight had been packed full of spare toiletries and articles of clothing that Emma was too tired to properly match together — although Taylor had blatantly refused to allow the girl to wear anything less then red, white, and blue, thus resulting in half the bag being unpacked and left in a pile on her closet floor — they'd fallen into the large California King bed and snuggled in close, not quite touching, but close enough to feel the heat of another body beside them. They'd declared that night spent together an homage to a traditional high school sleepover, something that Emma had never experienced, not really at least, being in the depths of her career by time she was just fourteen years old.Taylor had taken the lead when the admission fell into the air. She'd walked Emma through the bullet-point list of sleepover musts, and protested passionately whenever the actress looked at her disbelievingly, cheek pressed against the satin covered pillows that their heads rested against, her neck craned just enough to effectively narrow her eyes in Taylor's direction, unable to comprehend why anyone would find enjoyment in rehashing menial drama and voluntarily exposing themself. Despite her doubts, they followed Taylor's list down to the t, spending hours watching movies that were painfully hard to sit through, rehashing even the most unproductive of events that had happened as of lately in their lives, and sharing the darkest secrets that they could think of at a single moments notice until they both fell asleep, breaths even and hearts light.The unrestrained sunlight had been the final factor that had lulled Taylor from sleep, though the absence of Emma beside her in bed proved to be the only reason she hadn't simply rolled over onto her belly and hidden from the approaching daylight for at least another handful of hours. Their flight to Rhode Island wasn't until three that afternoon, and if the radiance of dusty pink light fanning across the sky was any indication of the time, Taylor figured the hour was closer to eight in the morning. She'd allowed her feet guide her away from the master bedroom and straight back into the kitchen, where the remnants of their chinese takeout dinner had been swept away in order to be replaced with breakfast carry out from what she learned was Emma's favorite cafe in Malibu. They'd ate french toast and traditional crepes together at the kitchen island, filling their stomachs with sugar as they somehow found a million little things to talk about over the meal, the moments of occasional silence that came naturally never stretching between them for any longer then a few seconds, and only occurring when their forks clinked against their plates and they both cringed at the sound.By two that afternoon, they'd been showered and on the road to the airport Taylor rented a space at in the heart of Los Angeles. It was truly a miracle that they'd managed to board the jet and takeoff without even one stalker with a long lens camera seizing the opportunity to make a quick buck off of them, but it would be later discovered through Taylor's publicist that they'd only just missed the onslaught of paparazzi by a handful of minutes and their return flight to California would touch down in an airport a few miles north, hopefully to avoid a direct run in with the men Taylor amusingly referred to as vultures. It was almost ten o'clock on the evening of the thirtieth when the door to Holiday House was unlocked by a distinctive gold key and pushed wide open, welcoming their tired bodies with a refreshing wave of air conditioning and the scent of vanilla. Leave it to Taylor to have scented plug ins at every corner of the house, all diffusing the same homey notes of vanilla and coconut. They'd fallen into bed that night by eleven, and were practically dead to the world by midnight.When sunrise fell over top of Rhode Island the morning of the first, the day that most of Taylor's guests were set to be arriving from various different locations around the world, she'd been roused from a peacefully restful sleep by the blonde musician rummaging through dresser drawers across from the bed, folding stacks of patriotic apparel imperfectly, though making an effort to remain as quiet as she could be. Emma sat up groggily, a lazy smile on her blush pink lips as she watched Taylor inspect each t-shirt and bikini top before shaking her head and shoving it back into the very top drawer when it didn't satisfy her. The actress couldn't fight the yawn that ripped through her chest and alerted Taylor of her recent waking, and when blue eyes turned to meet beneath the infiltrating sunlight, they shared a single moment of protected peace that would soon be disrupted by company."Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty." Taylor giggled from where she stood across the master bedroom, dressed in the same pair of pajamas she'd lazily pulled her limbs through the night prior, though the smile she wore on her lips was brighter now— a clear indication of how good she'd slept since falling into bed. Her hair had been tamed since waking up, Emma vividly remembered how disheveled the blonde had looked just yesterday morning when she'd stumbled into the kitchen sleepily, but the golden blonde locks had been brushed through today, and there wasn't a single kink near her roots that made a few strands stick out awkwardly. Emma was certain that she didn't look anywhere close to presentable, especially not Hollywood celebrity level presentable, but she couldn't find it within herself to care as she sat beneath Taylor's stare and the sun. "I tried not to wake you, but I wanted to make sure you had clothes ready for whenever you wanted to shower. I've picked out some of my best shirts, you should feel honored."Emma snorted sweetly at the badinage admission that slipped off of Taylor's tongue, sapphire blue eyes dancing across her face as if they were trying to read beneath the expression plastered against it. The actress had grown accustomed to the musicians intense stare, hardly ever reading into it any further than it being a moment Taylor wanted to remember forever anymore. Emma planted her left hand over her right thigh as she attempted to stretch out the cramped muscles along her middle back, switching sides only when she'd felt the satisfying release of tension in her spine. She didn't know how she'd slept, but her body had certainly been contorted oddly, her stiff muscles could emphatically attest to that. "Or, I could just wear the clothes I brought." She giggled, crawling out of the cloud-like bed with the grace of an angel, footsteps so light as she padded across the hardwood floor and toward Taylor that they could barely be heard in the otherwise silent room.As if she was insulted by the suggestion, Taylor's eyebrows furrowed and her head shook from side to side decisively. "Not a chance. I'm not letting you half-ass your first Fourth of July. You're going to wear the matching bikini's, and the t-shirts, you're going to run around the backyard with sparklers and a beer, and you're gonna have the best time ever. That's nonnegotiable.""What if I have the second to best time ever? Is that allowed?" Emma shot the blonde a cheeky grin, only realizing in that moment how many inches separated their eye line. With how closely they stood in the sun drenched bedroom, hardwood floor warm beneath sock-less feet, Taylor's chin was partially tilted downward."Nope." Taylor's lips curved upward into a smirk as her sapphire eyes twinkled with mischief and taunting, "If you only have the second to best time ever, it means you weren't drunk enough."Emma quirked a single eyebrow at the boldly spoken statement, her pouty lips cutting into a sly smirk. Unlike Taylor, whose expression was soft and dipped in sunshine, Emma's was dangerous; cunning. "Plotting to get me plastered now, are ye?""It's the only way to do Independence Day. You have three hours before Selena barges in through the side door with a bottle of Don Julio. She will not, under any circumstances, let you off without watching you take at least two shots." Taylor wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, both of their expressions fading into amusement as they fell into contagious giggles that had them both flush and jittery with anticipation."This is the first time I've done something like this since my Mum passed, thank you for the invite." Emma spoke genuinely when they'd both sobered up from their laughter, her indigo eyes bright and clear as she looked straight into Taylor's, willing her sincerity to land on its feet. Even her closest friends had stopped extending invitations to their soirées, Emma had conflicting feelings on that fact, but she couldn't deny that it was a nice change of pace to be given an honest chance to decline an offer rather than not getting one at all."I wouldn't've wanted to spend this weekend without you. We're down a brit this year, it was only fitting I filled the spot." Taylor spoke sweetly to the blond, her eyes shining with agonizing understanding, though she made the effort to not make the quietly offered admission anything bigger than it needed to be."Well I'm glad I could help with that, even if I've lived in America for the last eleven years." Emma teased the musician right back, not missing a beat as she allowed her lips to pull apart into a cheesy grin. "Is it alright if I shower?""Yeah, of course! The bathroom's right through that door, towels are in the closet closest to the vanity, the laundry shoot is in the master closet, it's kind of hard to miss. Just throw your pajamas in there when you're done, no sense in taking them home dirty when we're flying back together anyways. You're more than welcome to use anything in the bathroom. And," Taylor paused briefly, eyes fluttering upward as if trying to recall a memorized checklist. "I think that covers everything." She giggled infectiously with a bubbly nod of certainty, provoking a wide smile from Emma who had listened to her animated rambling intently, hanging onto every word that was spoken as if it were something more interesting than hospitable pleasantries."How long did it take you to get that little spiel down?" Emma poked fun at the flush-faced blonde in front of her, digging her teeth into her plush bottom lip amusedly, having yet to look away from Taylor's eyes throughout the entire exchange."Would you believe me if I said a year? It sounds absolutely horrible, I'm beyond fortunate to own so many properties, but living between so many houses— god, it's imposible to remember where little things are at first, sometimes even still if I'm really tired. At my property back in LA, the laundry room is downstairs. One time I'd been there for a few months, and when I flew out here for a weekend, I threw my favorite sweater down the trash chute out of instinct. Thankfully I hadn't been home for long, and the sweater was salvageable, but it was the most humbling experience. Not knowing the difference between the garbage and the laundry in your own home? It was horrifying."It was Emma's turn to giggle now, and the sound that fell off of her lips with genuine lightness was just as enchanting and melodious as it had been when Taylor had first heard it in the kitchen two evenings ago. "I know. I know!" She exclaimed brightly, eyes as wide as saucers as she rocked forwards on the balls of her feet. "It feels so egotistical to admit that there are downsides to owning multiple properties, but once I almost blended my hand off! My hand!" The animated way in which Emma spoke was enthralling, and Taylor was hooked, listening intently as the actress continued on with a radiant expression written on her features. "Back home in Hawaii, the kitchen's toward the back of the house, and there's this window behind the sink that overlooks the garden with a little light switch beside the faucet that controls the porch lights. I was in LA for the month for reshoots and out of pure instinct I reached for the switch beside the sink while I was washing dishes. It was the rubbish disposal! I about jumped out of my skin, my Mum came running when I screamed. Humbling, so so humbling. She banned me from even touching the sink for three weeks after that.""Emma!" Taylor shrieked in genuine shock, her jaw slack and her eyes wide as she laughed along with the story. She always appreciated when somebody else's experience's could make her feel normal, and while their problems were certainly anything but to the average person, to them it was just another day in the industry. For one single moment on the very first day of July, owning multiple houses had been normalized, not scrutinized."I know! I know!" The actress exclaimed elatedly, reaching out to slam her palm against Taylor's shoulder, unable to help herself when she grew entirely too animated for her body to contain.Taylor threw her head back in laughter, something she would apparently be doing a lot of when Emma was around, although she couldn't be blamed for it, truthfully she couldn't. The younger blonde's enthusiasm was contagious, albeit apparently painful if the developing ache in her shoulder was any indication. It was refreshing to surround herself with somebody so vibrant and grounded. The industry was full of deceitful individuals only looking for their five minutes of fame; Emma wasn't like that. Taylor would endure as many excitable love taps as needed if it meant keeping Emma and her uplifting energy around."Go shower, you goof!" Taylor grinned easily, pressing the tips of her cold fingers against the center of Emma's forehead, playfully shoving her backward a few steps. She watched the actress stumble over her footing with a fond expression within her eyes and across her lips, shrieking in shocked laughter when spaghetti noddle arms attempted to attack her with overdramatized featherlight flails. "I'm leaving!" She bellowed amusedly, only just escaping the assault as she side-stepped the blonde mere seconds after her declaration had been made, making a mad dash for the closed bedroom door in a fashion that be summarized as childish.Her Scottish Folds, Doctor Meredith Grey and Detective Olivia Benson, were back in her New York apartment, as they had been for the last four days. One of her bodyguards, a man not much older then Taylor herself, had requested the week off to spend with his wife and children, though had offered to check in on the cats occasionally until she returned home to Franklin Street, to which she was immensely grateful for. It was very rarely now that she ever had to arrange animal sitters, her friends and employees alike jumping at the chance to get the cats alone and win over their affection until she returned from wherever she'd been.Emma watched Taylor leave with a tender expression scrawled across her indigo eyes and not-quite-pink lips, the sound of the door latching softly behind the blonde echoed through the labyrinth of her mind and the bedroom. For a moment, Emma stood still, her eyes glossy and burning holes into the neatly folded stack of patriotic apparel that had been set aside for her choosing. It had taken almost four years, cost her not only her reputation but a relationship with some of her closest friends, but she was finally getting back out there. This was the biggest step she'd taken toward rewriting normalcy since her mother had passed away, and oddly, it felt easy. Taylor made it feel easy. Her other friends had pushed too soon and too hard, had given up too quickly when she just wasn't ready to accept the reality of no longer having, not only her mother, but her best friend. Maybe it all simply came down to the timing of their meeting, or maybe Taylor understood her in a way that nobody else had been willing to. Whatever the cause of her shift in attitude had been, Emma was appreciative nonetheless, almost eager to see where this new path led her. She didn't linger in the corner of the bedroom for any longer, instead, she reached for a solid red top that seemed to be the least patriotic of the selection, a blue and white striped bikini, and planned the rest of her outfit accordingly. She hopped into the shower, washed the last four years of isolation away, and mentally prepared herself for the weekend ahead, ready to rewrite the next however many years of life she had at her fingertips.It was almost an entire hour later when she came padding softly down the stairs, her honey-blonde hair tied into a tight ponytail that swiped across her shoulder blades with every step forward she took. There was music coming from, what Emma assumed, was the kitchen, so she followed it blindly, hoping that it would lead her straight to Taylor's company. The red top that she borrowed had been styled with white cotton shorts that would never see the light of day on any other occasion, but for Taylor, who was adamant that she adhere to the patriotic theme, Emma had thrown caution to the wind and pulled them up over her thighs. The shorts were, well, short, and she was hyper aware of the breeze that slowly crept through the house brushing against the back of her thighs. Thirteen years of media training told her she should've gone with something more conservative, but she forced herself to remember that, although the house would be filled with celebrities in only a matter of hours, this was merely an intimate get together and Taylor trusted everyone attending to not plaster any intimate details or pictures across media cites by the next morning. She would be fine, completely fine. Or, at least she hoped she would be, because the ghastly reminder that she no longer had her mother to turn to in the event that she wasn't, was slowly beginning to creep up her spine and make her rethink ever agreeing to come.Her theory about the music playing coming from the kitchen and leading to Taylor had been correct. At the bottom of the stairs and just around the corner to the left, the musician was bouncing on her feet in the kitchen with an assortment of little plastic cups lined up in even rows of sixteen, three mixing bowls of what Emma could only assume was gelatin powered right beside them. It was obvious that Taylor hadn't heard her come down, because when she turned toward the refrigerator, she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sight of Emma. "Oh hi! I didn't hear you come down! You look cute!" Taylor beamed, brushing the back of her hand against her forehead before she paused, eyebrows wrinkled in amusement. "Are those my socks?"It had only felt fitting to incorporate all colors of the theme into her outfit, and although the borrowed bikini hidden beneath her clothing adorned the shade of blue associated with American pride, Emma felt like it was a cop-out to not visibly bare the color with the rest of her outfit. Fortunately for her, unfortunately for Taylor, there had been a balled up pair of royal blue ankle socks left on the counter in the bathroom, clearly intended to be worn with the rest of her outfit, but Emma had seized the opportunity to claim them for herself. "I believe it was against your rules to, how did you put it, half-ass the festivities. You were the one who left them in the bathroom, where you told me anything was up for grabs." Emma sang smugly, wiggling her eyebrows tauntingly as she stepped closer to the blonde and peered at the ingredients laid out across the counter. It was clear that Taylor was making jell-o shots, at least a hundred of them, but it was even clearer that even they would fall perfectly in theme with the holiday, four boxes of blue raspberry and strawberry jell-o torn open and placed out of the way to be disposed of later."Just say you're a klepto and help me make shots." Taylor laughed, bumping her hip against Emma's as she passed by, heading toward the collection of alcohol that had been purchased and delivered for the ahead weekend specifically. Taylor had every kind of alcohol imaginable, from Svetka and Grey Goose, to Pinot Grios and Sauvignon Blanc; the options ranged from trashy to upmost elegant, much to Emma's amusement.Just over an hour later, and fifteen minutes after Taylor and Emma had finished restoring the kitchen to the condition in which they'd originally found it, the first of the attendees arrived through the side door, rolling a hard shell suitcase with one hand while the other proudly showcased a long necked bottle of tequila. It was a face Emma recognized, one that she had seen many times in passing at the award shows she attended as a teenager. She grinned brightly, waving from where she was perched on the counter with a chilled Corona in hand. Yeah, she'd convinced Taylor to break into the beers early, and the shock on Selena's face was priceless as she ogled the pair."You didn't even wait for me?" Were the first words to roll off of her tongue as she abandoned her suitcase near the staircase and stomped her way over to where Taylor and Emma had made themselves comfortable. The actress was sitting criss-crossed on the countertop, while the musician rested her forearms against the slab of marble across from her. Selena's words were laced with southern attitude, speaking heavily to which state she'd flown in from, and Emma couldn't help but blush guiltily."I've been told that the only rules for this weekend are to go hard on drinking and to become a pyromaniac. It just so happens that day drinking is socially acceptable until the fifth." Emma shrugged innocently before raising the bottle to her lips, washing away the taste of amusement tinged guilt that lingered in her mouth with the slowly warming beer. She could understand how Americans ended up plastered by four o'clock in the evening on summer holidays like this; the beers grew warm quick and it felt unnatural to walk around empty-handed."Those were not the rules!" Taylor laughed at the blonde, shuffling across the kitchen to embrace Selena in a tight hug within the same breath, unaware of Emma flipping her off across the kitchen, though Selena witnessed the silent attack and muffled her laughter into Taylor's shoulder. "We're gonna show Emma a good time this weekend. I already told her that you'll be enforcing a minimum of two shots taken."Selena nodded eagerly at the spoken promise of at minimum two shots being taken, having been thinking about the bottle of tequila since she'd picked it up from the liquor store the night prior. If anyone asked her to bring drinks to a party — if she was the one to host a party — they could count on there being ample tequila, specifically Don Julio. Taylor had learned to appreciate the tradition of drinking Selena's favorite liquor, and on nights when she found herself missing the woman just the slightest bit extra, she'd drown the feeling with a glass of her favorite tequila."You a lightweight, Collins? I'm not trying to have you on your ass before the day even begins." There was a teasing edge to Selena's question, but there was also level of sincerity that couldn't be missed.Emma laughed, shaking her head as she slipped off of the counter and joined the two women in the center of the kitchen, unsure of where Taylor kept her shot glasses and not wanting to be in the way if they happened to be kept in the cabinet she'd been sitting in front of. "Not particularly, no. You up for a challenge, Gomez?" The playful jest had brought a fire to Selena's eyes, and Taylor could only laugh acceptingly. She'd learned a long couple of years ago not to challenge Selena to a drinking competition, but she'd let Emma learn that on her own account. After all, what was a traditional Fourth of July without a good spirited rivalry occurring."Congratulations, we've just upped it to three shots minimum." Selena smirked challengingly, extending a hand for Emma to shake, which she did, an identical expression brewing beneath her indigo eyes as she settled into this new dynamic. She was familiar with Selena, they'd seen each other in passing enough to fall into place without trying, but she was looking forward to finally establishing a true relationship. They'd never been friends, never spoken at lengths about anything so there was no way for them to be, but she was hoping that would change by the end of the weekend. It was time to start again, not over like she'd been told by her previous circle, but she was ready to turn the page for a new chapter; or at least try to.Selena broke the black seal on the long-neck bottle, popping out the cork with a level of ease that was admirable. She and Taylor worked in perfect tandem, leaving Emma to step back and watch silently as nine shot glasses, all of which had different state and city names printed on them in various fonts of black, were filled to the brim with the golden caramel colored liquid. There was no salt, no lime wedges, just three average sized shot glasses of tequila for them to consume in rapid succession.When they had the first glass raised up to their respective lips, ready to begin the challenge that Taylor had wordlessly made herself apart of, Selena held up three fingers steadily. She lowered one at a time, her middle finger the last to fold against her palm and when it did, heads were thrown back and mouthfuls of smooth, top-shelf liquor were swallowed. The second glasses were picked up just as quickly, but overconfidently, Selena muttered out, "You should know I had Taylor on her ass the last time she tried to out drink me."The second shot was halfway down Selena's throat when Emma said, "You shouldn't challenge a child-star who was an orphan by seventeen years old." Emma didn't even need to look at Selena or Taylor to know that her comment had earned it's desired response, she could hear the both of them sputter over mouthfuls of their drinks just fine. Her second and third shots were taken without so much as a grimace, and she'd stacked all three of her empty glasses together before either of the musicians had gotten themselves together."That— That was cheating! You— You cheated!" Taylor coughed into her elbow, turning away from the two of them as she pulled open the refrigerator and sought out a bottle of water, her throat burning from the way in which she'd choked on the liquid that created a burn on its own. Emma washed the taste away with the rest of her beer, her head tipped back comically as she chugged the quarter that had previously remained."I was never told that we were playing fair." Emma grinned wickedly, leveling her stare with Selena who looked mildly impressed by the tactic used. "I'm seriously going to regret that in about an hour." She laughed, her competitiveness falling away as she slumped against the counter and accepted the warm feeling that filled her belly faintly. She'd be well on her way to drunk within the next hour, but for now, she just felt contently warm."Oh yeah, you're filming up in Vancouver aren't you? I have a friend who has a friend that works on the production team." Selena settled against the counter beside Emma, reaching for her third shot and downing it now that she didn't think it would incapacitate her. It went down smoothly, but she accepted the water Taylor held out anyways, taking a sip once she'd cracked the lip open."Mmhm, we wrapped three days ago. I'm severely out of practice with holding my liquor. I'll make sure to aim for the bushes if I suddenly keel over." Emma teased, much to Taylor's appreciation."Please do." The blonde hummed teasingly, amused that Emma was picturing her inevitable sickness already. She traded the blonde a bottle of water in exchange for the nine shot glasses that remained on the counter behind her body, walking them over to the sink to be rinsed and dried before others started showing up. Craning her neck to look at Selena and Emma, Taylor recounted the events of last year's celebration while waiting for the tap to heat up. "Last year, Ed and Ryan got so shitfaced that one of them was puking in the sink while the other was bent over the shower drain.""Didn't Ed fall asleep with his head in the flowerpot, or was that the first year?" Selena crinkled her nose, trying to recall the events that were admittedly more than just a little bit blurry.Taylor threw her head back laughing at the prompted memory, briefly flickering her gaze down to the shot glasses that she scrubs with soap simultaneously, water just hot enough to tint her hands pink. "That was the first year. He'll learn to stop getting himself into competitions sooner or later." Taylor rolls her blue eyes fondly, laying the glasses out on a metal drying rack before she turned and splashed her wet hands at Selena and Emma.Half an hour later, when Emma asked how Selena and Taylor had met, it had been discovered that within a year of the other, the actress turned musician had encountered them both, something that had deeply disappointed the blonde musician who sipped on a chilled bottle of water evenly. There'd been so many opportunities for she and Emma to meet prior to the Butterfly Ball, and yet their paths hadn't crossed one single time. The pout on her lips persisted for minutes, deep and plush and she folded her arms over her chest, much to Emma and Selena's amusement as they kept their sights locked on the blonde and her ever detailed reactions. It was interesting to think about how many award shows they'd probably attended at the same time, say near the same row or table, been ushered through the same doors and back hallways, though Emma couldn't say she minded how they did end up meeting, she'd have had a very different relationship with Taylor if they'd met when she was only fourteen.Two hours later, the party had more or less seen its official start. Most of Taylor's inner circle had arrived, which Emma wasn't surprised to realize consisted of models, actors, and the average worker alike, although she was surprised to hear how Taylor's quite neutral American accent dipped into a shallow pool of Southern hospitality when she'd had a couple of drinks.She'd been in a pleasant enough conversation with a woman named Ruby for the better half of an hour, and although she wouldn't necessary say she was bored, she would say she was ready to move on and speak to somebody else. The Australian could talk for hours about one specific element of her career, which just so happened to be the one thing Emma knew very little about; DJing. She was always interested in learning new things, always wanted to discover passions that others had, but after taking another two shots with Selena when Blake and Ryan had shown up, and being handed yet another beer when Taylor decided she'd rather have a spiked lemonade, there wasn't enough coherence left in her brain to absorb anything that wasn't already known to her.Thankfully, as of having a sixth sense for her distress, Taylor called her name from where she was half submerged in the pool, her lanky arms above her head and comically keeping her open cup from getting doused in pool water. "Emma! Get in!"Emma giggled at her blonde friend, who'd been entirely unsuspecting to the actor that ran up behind her, canon-balling straight into the heated water and directly beside her half-submerged body. The hopes of keeping her lemonade salt water free had fallen away in a matter of seconds, and Emma figured she should probably go play savior before Taylor started yet another splashing fight.Emma looked apologetically across at Ruby, genuinely feeling bad that she was being pulled away in the middle of their conversation, even if she'd rather talk about anything else imaginable. Her shoulders pulled up to her ears almost sheepishly, and her finger signaled for Taylor to give her a minute before she complied with the request. "I guess that's my cue.""You'll want to make a move on that. She and Ryan are about three seconds away from drowning each other." Ruby laughed, waving off the early dismissal of their conversation. Emma practically face-palmed when she turned her head to look back at the pool, watching as Ryan put the musician in a headlock and noogied her already tousled and damp hair."Yeah." Emma agreed, laughing quietly as she shook her head and stood up beneath the brightly beaming sun. Her head was slightly floaty on her shoulders now, an aire of confidence to her being that couldn't be displaced. She was at that sweet spot of intoxication, where she felt good but not too good, clear but not murky. She supposed she was on track for a messy night, but so were most of the attendees around her, Taylor and Ryan especially.She stripped out of her borrowed top and shorts, rolling her eyes when Selena whistled from where she was sat on the pool steps with Blake, watching the entire process of her undressing rather teasingly. The socks had been the first thing to leave her body hours ago, and Emma only just realized how hot the cement beneath her feet was now that she stood beneath direct sunlight getting ready to join her friend in the water. It was a disturbingly hot July day, reaching the high nineties already and it was just minutes after three. She could only imagine what the heat would bring within the next hour or two, but she didn't mind it much. It was reminiscent of the summers she'd spent in Hawaii when she'd first moved to America, though significantly less humid and buggy.There were coolers of drinks scattered around the property, some of them large and blue in color, while others were smaller and bright red. Taylor spared no small detail, but Emma found it endearing how critically she assessed that everything adhered to the theme of the weekend flawlessly. She grabbed a beer from the cooler closest to the pool with Taylor in mind before she stepped into the refreshingly chilled water, the heater having been turned down to the mid sixties when the heat of the weekend had been realized, and it was a painfully good call as Emma shivered welcomingly. She kicked her foot as she passed Selena, splashing water at the woman who had had that very thing coming since she'd first upped the shot count to three, before continuing on over to where Taylor and Ryan had only just stopped wrestling. The singer gasped drunkenly affectionate as the beer can was passed her way in exchange for the cup of vodka spiked lemonade, taking an eager sip of the cold drink. Emma didn't mind the slightly watered down lemonade in her hand, claiming it as her own so it wouldn't go to waste."Oh my god!" Taylor gasped excitedly, her wet fingers dancing across the skin of Emma's sensitive ribs when a flash of faded black ink caught her attention. "Are those my lyrics?"Emma flushed in mild embarrassment, her eyes flickering down to the tattoo she'd gotten with her mother just months before Elizabeth's death. She'd been sixteen at the time, a month away from her seventeenth birthday, and while her name was rapidly gaining popularity as she appeared in a select few of the Twilight films and a coming-of-age movie with Scarlett Johansson and Matt Damon, that didn't suspend the reality or gravity of her personal life. Elizabeth Collins had advanced from having breast cancer, to having terminal cancer, and the one song that played as the soundtrack of her life had been Fearless. Emma hadn't thought twice about accompanying her mother to the tattoo shop when Elizabeth decided to adorn her skin with words of positive encouragement amidst her calamitous diagnosis, although she had chosen a location that would be easily hidden by wardrobe or concealed by makeup for future projects. Often times, she forgotten about it entirely, but when she remembered, when she needed to reach deep into her heart for a reason to keep going, the words etched onto her side provided a semblance of comfort."They are." She laughed softly, guiding Taylor's fingers over the expense of ink on her skin. "They were Mum's favorite lyrics. She always did try her best to live in the moment, to remember every good thing that had happened in her life, especially after we lost my Dad and she was initially diagnosed. It was fitting that she practically obsessed over Fearless throughout her fight, because if there were ever an appropriate and all-encapsulating word to describe how someone lives with cancer, it would be fearlessly.""That line is still one of my favorites." Taylor hummed reflectively, wrapping her arm around Emma's waist and pulled her into a lopsided embrace. "I'm glad they could help her through, even if it was only for the what, four minutes.""Three minutes and fifty-nine seconds. She knew the length of it by heart, held onto the fact that each chemo session was only five repeats. In the nicest way possible, I wanted to snap that CD in half by the second month." Emma grumbled, much to Ryan and Taylor's amusement. Her blue eyes flickered over to the man standing beside them, and she offered a smile of greeting his way."I take no offense to that." Taylor laughed softly, her fingers still brushing over the ink on Emma's ribs. "What's your favorite lyric?"Emma scrunched her eyebrows together, her soft lips pursing as she gave Taylor an unimpressed glare. "What makes you think I have one?" Ryan laughed at the younger woman's attitude, raising his fist in a way that was so traditionally masculine. Emma's reserve never wavered, she was a two time Emmy winning actress after all, but she raised her fist to bump against his with a curt nod of mutual amusement.Taylor, though greatly appreciative of the fact that her friends were getting along and beginning to form their own bonds and dynamics, was less than impressed with Emma's teasing. "You have my lyrics tattooed on your skin! You definitely have one.""I do." The blonde conceded, "The answer is going to cost you though." Emma hummed feigning nonchalant agreement, much to Ryan's amusement and Taylor's displeasure. Her lips were fighting off a smile of enjoyment, but Taylor wasn't entirely unaware, she could feel the soothing beat of Emma's heart from where her fingers traced the sides of her ribs."And what might you want?" The blonde played into the presented game, although she'd give Emma absolutely anything she asked for, even if she didn't quite realize that simple fact yet."A manhattan. I've heard rumors you make the best, but I'm the seeing is believing type." Emma's facade crumbled entirely now, the soft laughter that spilled from her pulling a graceful and genuine smile onto Taylor's lips, though she still attempted to pretend like she was contemplating the proposed compromise."I suppose I can do that for you." She giggled, nudging the blonde with her hip like she did all those hours ago in the sun drenched kitchen, when it had been only the two of them and a promise of yet another entire day spent in their shared company. It was getting closer to nightfall now, and still Taylor couldn't fathom how the days you wanted to last the longest fell away so quickly."You'll spend your whole life singing the blues if you keep thinking that way." Emma hummed her answer, bright blue eyes beaming up at Taylor pridefully. The woman stood a good five so inches taller than she, which was made blatantly apparent by how the water level rested against their bodies. For Taylor, she was no more than halfway submerged, meanwhile Emma could fell the chilled water resting just below her ribs, barely a few inches of her torso exposed to the dry Rhode Island heat."I know that one!" Ryan's voice was animated, attracting swift glances in their direction from the people that lingered around the pool and court. It was a nice change of pace, being able to simply exist in the same space as others within the industry without the pressure of a lens pointed their way; waiting to see who conversed with who, and if the next conversation was as interesting as the last. Emma could understand why they all looked forward to this weekend so much."Emma!" Another voice, an English voice, one of the only that lingered across the collection of people in attendance, called for Emma's attention, and when she trailed her gaze away from where it had been locked on Taylor, she found the piercing blue eyes of Cara Delevingne looking intensely back at her. The model was across the backyard, standing between Karlie and Alana with a bottle of Tito's clutched in her grip. No more needed to be said about what they needed her for, and eagerly Emma was pulling at Taylor's arm, dragging her through the water toward the stairs."Tell me you did not challenge Cara to a drinking competition." Taylor giggled, more than happy to leave Ryan standing alone in the space between shallow and deep in the pool in order to follow Emma. He didn't seem to be offended by their sudden departure either, because although he followed after them with sluggish steps, his attention was solely on Blake — the wife he had more or less abandoned to cannon-ball directly beside Taylor."Don't be ridiculous." Emma rolled her indigo eyes into the back of her head so intensely, Taylor wondered if she could see the anatomy of her brain. The English-American actress finished what remained of the lemonade she'd stolen from Taylor before she spoke again, her eyes sprightly and ambitious, overflowing with sincere elation. "She challenged me!"Taylor's laughter was the soundtrack they listened to as they made their way across the backyard and up the steps leading toward the desk where a long table was set up for beer pong and red solo cups sat abandoned. The pair of blondes found themselves in the center of the chaos when they'd finally made it to where the models and singular third of a band stood waiting."Oh! You convinced Tay to join?!" Cara's eyes sparkled with mischief as she assessed the situation, visibly halfway to blackout already. Her speech was slurred, her eyes were as hazy as they were bright, and the wet smirk sitting on her lips was both flirtatious and wild."I never asked, so she can't say no!" Emma exclaimed brightly, much to Taylor's amusement. As the musician observed the manner in which the actress moved, it was almost impossible to tell she'd had anything more than a couple of beers. Unlike Cara, who couldn't keep her attention on anything specific for longer than a handful of choppy seconds, Emma was precisely zeroed in on the conversation at hand. She stood impressively still, unlike Alana who swayed on her feet loosely. It seemed everyone around them had fallen into the bottle with accepted ease, yet Emma lingered on the cusp of tipsy and something more. Taylor would have to change that, she wanted Emma to fully indulge, and it seemed the blonde had gotten caught up in too many conversations to focus on refilling her drink when it dried up."Three shots! We're gonna— we're gonna take three shots! I'm gonna win!" Cara laughed loudly, freely. The model had allowed all of the expectations that typically sat on her shoulders fall away the second she had stepped foot in the house. She'd allowed herself the chance to take a break and simply enjoy. Emma wanted that same feeling, but she struggled to accept that she truly was unwatched here. Thirteen years within the limelight and almost four of trying to evade it had obliterated her perception of safety.Cara did win, if only because on the second shot Emma reached for had happened within the second of Taylor's fingers digging into her ribs and wiggling just perfectly enough to provoke shocked giggles and an intense jerk that had the contents of her cup splashing over the rim and soaking her toes. A sharp gasp fell off of her lips as she turned her head in Taylor's direction quickly, narrowing her eyes playfully."Taylor!"Taylor loved the way Emma said her name so intensely. She adored the way that first three letters rolled off of her tongue like they were their own private island, only connected to the last three by a suspension bridge that only the most adventurous of travelers would ever cross. She made it her own in the simplest of ways, like it was merely representative of a person and not a brand. Even her own mother had spoken her names in a way that had insinuated the stardom that clung to it, but Emma had never. Taylor couldn't foresee a future where she ever did."Loser has to waterfall. You're not nearly drunk enough." Taylor revealed the motive behind her deceitful action smugly, blonde eyebrows that faded into a unique shade of gold in the months of spring and summer as a result of the unforgiving sun raising promptly. Cara was ready with the bottle of vodka, attesting to the condition that had only just been sprung upon Emma."Bring it on, Delevingne." Were Emma's final words of challenging acceptance before she tipped her head backward and let her jaw go slack entirely, her tongue prepared for the assault of cheap vodka that had begun to splash against it seconds later.Taylor was the only voice that Emma could hear as she swallowed mouthfuls of alcohol consecutively, the blonde chanting a rhapsody of, "Go! Go! Go!". It had been helpful, but couldn't entirely ward off the inevitable, although by the time Emma was tapping at Cara's waist, unable to take anymore, she was certain that at minimum, a quarter of the bottle was slipping down her throat. When the English model pulled the bottle back upright, Emma sputtered for breath, drenching her chest in vodka that hadn't made its way down her throat in time before she started coughing."I need to go drink the ocean." Emma shuddered, the slightest grimace on her face as she smacked her lips together, vodka present on the tip of her tongue. Her head was understandably swimming now, the lack of oxygen and the addition of alcohol a deadly combination, one that she could feel as she stumbled backward into Taylor when she made took a step forward too quickly and lost her balance."I thought you wanted a Manhattan?" Taylor giggled, steadying Emma on her feet, her hands holding onto the younger woman's hips.Emma nodded sharply, remembering that she had asked the blonde to mix her one when they'd still been in the pool. It sounded just as good as it did then, and promptly she laced her fingers with Taylor's and marched toward the glass door leading inside that had been left open for an unknown number of hours. They left the models and the musician behind, Karlie laughing amusedly when Emma amended her previously spoken statement with, "I need to go drink a Manhattan."Taylor giggled, waving goodbye to her friends as she was dragged inside, only to stop short when Emma did, the blonde furrowing her eyebrows as her lips became downturned in a pout. "I don't know where the Manhattans are." She mumbled sadly, doe eyes dropping to the floor as she remembered her sockless feet were drenched with vodka. "I'm gonna get Tito's all over your floor!""That's okay." Taylor's laugh was breathy as she drank in the sight of Emma standing in front of her, cheeks flush, eyes glassy, she looked like the depiction of an angel fallen from grace with her deep indigo eyes and disheveled hair slightly damp from how it had gotten wet in the pool. She'd never seen past the actress passed the point of buzzed, and even then she was her quiet, reserved to a fault self, but something had awoken in her with the countless shots and beers; something Taylor adored. "Come on!"Emma gasped at the enthusiastic tone that fell upon her ears, grinning in excitement as Taylor pulled her through the house, having broken out into a run that wasn't quite a job but definitely couldn't be constituted as a sprint. "Where are we going?!" Emma giggled, her warm body bouncing into Taylor's every few seconds when she stumbled over her feet and lost sight of the straight path the blonde was attempting to maintain for both of them."To make you a Manhattan, silly." Taylor laughed breathlessly, the combination of alcohol and being off of her typical workout regimen working against her as she pulled Emma through the house and down a staircase that she hadn't noticed before. After the world-tour that left the musicians body fraile and weak from malnutrition, she'd taken a step back from the diets and grueling exercise routine her team had advised she participate in to assure her stamina was where it needed to be in order to maintain a healthy voice and body throughout the long months of traveling.She'd been healing her mind and body since December, each day was a step in the right direction — the healthy direction — but she wasn't at a place mentally, or emotionally, where she could handle hours at the gym and lunches that consisted of only salads again. That was a slippery slope, she could recognize that now, and she didn't trust herself to race down it just yet. She'd need a few more months before she was even willing to try, not that it would matter, because with the way things had been going, she wasn't sure there would ever be another tour. As conceited as it may come off, she'd rather stop putting out music than go back to being the opening act. That would absolutely destroy her."Oh, a bar! You brought me to a bar!" Emma shrieked in delight, her darkened indigo eyes trailing over the collection of glasses and liquors that were stacked on countertops and shelving units in a manner that was best described as professional. Taylor took great pride in her wet bar, and always assured that not even a bottle cap was left out of place when the night ended."You asked me to make you a Manhattan!" Taylor repeated with a giddy expression scrawled across her face, glad to see that Emma was finally letting herself feel the euphoric high her alcohol consumption had encouraged. She hadn't been oblivious to the way the blonde looked over her shoulder every few minutes, terrified that somebody was recording her or snapping pictures to make a profit off of. Taylor was certain that the media would go crazy for a picture of Emma in the bikini that adored her body, especially because it had been almost five full months since her last public appearance. She detested the gravity of Emma's reality, even if hers was blindingly similar, but she knew that pictures of the limelight legend would sell for more than hers ever would."Oh, yes! Can you make me a Manhattan, please!" Emma nodded her head eagerly at the mention of the drink, light on her feet as she bounced toward the bar and wiggled into one of the stools that Taylor thought fit nicely with the vibe of the basement.Taylor laughed, but didn't comment on the fact that Emma had already asked and she'd agreed. They'd be going in circles for hours if she tried to remind the actress of her previously spoken words. Instead she smiled, and teasingly twisted the seat of the stool Emma was sitting on, bounding toward the rack of liquors that she assured were always stocked. "That's what I'm doing.""Oh. Yay!" Emma cheered enthusiastically, giggling as she continued to spin around on the stool, the muted palette of the basement walls and furnishing blending into one solid color as a result of the quick motion and her unfocused vision."You feeling good?" Taylor chuckled softly, observing Emma as she slowly came to a stop, the momentum of the single push dwindling down to nothingness within the few seconds it had taken Taylor to grab the ingredients she needs for their drinks."So good." Emma answered rather dazedly, propping her chin up onto her palm as she took interest in watching how Taylor completely threw caution to the wind and pour unmeasured amounts of Rye, Bitters, and Vermouth into a cocktail shaker. "I haven't— I haven't done this in so long. It's nice. I've decided that I like it."The very punctual answer both warmed Taylor's heart and amused her greatly. She was beginning to think that it was entirely impossible to feel anything other pure elation when in Emma's individual company. "Oh, have you decided that?""Yes. I have." Emma hummed in response to the wittily proposed question, clearly unable to detect the same level of humor in her statement as Taylor did. While the musician wore a wide smile on her lips, Emma's turn downward into a pout as her glassy blue eyes brewed with sadness. "I've decided that I'm mad at you."Taylor quirked a single eyebrow at the statement, the cocktail shaker held between two hands as she did exactly what the name implied; shake. "And why is that?" She questioned simultaneously, an element of amusement bleeding through her attempt at seriousness."I was promised kitties. There are no cats here." Emma frowned deeply as she thought about the Scottish-Folds that Taylor had mentioned being around, yet were still back in New York being checked in on occasionally by her staff. The softest dimples hollowed out the corners of her cheeks beside her lips, drawing Taylor in like they'd become the embodiment of a siren's song.The musician laughed fondly at the saddened tone the actress had taken on, shaking her head in amusement that wouldn't dissipate. "Well, you'll just have to come visit me in New York." She proposed an amendment, to which Emma visibly brightened and nodded enthusiastically."Yes! Okay! I'll come visit you!" Emma agreed eagerly. Taylor hoped she remembered this conversation by time she sobered up, wanting desperately to have Emma back with her in the city even if it was only for a couple of days. She'd been thinking about that dive bar on seventh street for months, but it wasn't the kind of place she'd ever venture to alone. "I don't have a cat for them to be friends with, though. They can't have any kitty playdates.""They'll be okay." Taylor laughed amusedly, though she desperately wanted to know the extent of whatever was going through Emma's head as she offered small tidbits of information and personal opinion that otherwise would've remained behind a bolted shut door. It was a nice change of pace, a welcomed distraction from their daily lives of organized chaos, but something still felt partially incomplete.Spearing three maraschino cherries through a plastic skewer, the musician slid the completed drink toward Emma with a smug grin of confidence, encouraging her to take a sip. Emma complied with the silent demand, and briefly her eyes fluttered closed as she let the taste sit on her tongue for an appropriate amount of passing seconds."So, is it the best Manhattan you've ever had?" Taylor quizzed rather impishly, her own glass held up to her lips as she calculatingly took a sip and let the flavors wash over her entirely."I'd call it second best." Emma breathed out with the same taunting nature engraved in her tone, sipping lightly at the drink she had a careful grip around, the skewer of sweetened cherries pinched between slim fingers, waiting to be eaten and adored by the blonde.Taylor quirked a challenging eyebrow at the breathy wit embedded within Emma's tone, her interest successfully peaked as she leaned across the bar. "And who beats me, might I ask?""Me!" Their banter ended with the eruption of genuine laughter that fell off of Emma's lips, the last of her walls slipping away for the weekend as she sat easily beside Taylor's presence.Their escape to the basement had been short lived, and twenty minutes later, after an addition two shots had been chased with salt and slides of lime, they found themselves subjected to the unrelenting heat of sunlight once more. Water splashed at Emma's sides as she stood with Gigi toward the shallowest end of the pool, watching amusedly as Ryan and Blake argued over the terms and conditions to a less than friendly game of chicken. Apparently, if Emma had accurately understood Cara's slurred speech, it was a pool game they played every year, and Austin was the reigning champion.The married couple couldn't seem to agree on whether dunking should be permissible in the event of both players falling into the water within the same second — which had apparently happened last year when Ed and Austin went up against each other in a sudden death round. In a state of sobriety, Emma could see the appeal of turning the game into a slippery wrestling match, but with the levels of intoxication that ranged from drunk to blackout, she couldn't find a reason to disagree with Blake's concern for safety.When Blake threatened to invite James into their bed for a sleepover upon arriving home from their short weekend away from parenting and adult responsibilities, Ryan abandoned the argument entirely, declaring for everyone in the pool to hear that dunking would not be permissible, and in the event that anyone was caught so much as attempting, they'd be disqualified and made to pick up all the solo cups scattered around the beach front property as punishment. Emma had laughed at the actors abrupt change in heart, but could only imagine the grief that came with sharing a bed with a wriggly toddler and a very pregnant wife on a good night, let alone when one third of that equation was holding a jesting grudge.Emma had been seconds away from forming a partnership with Gigi when cold hands gripped at her waist and tugged her backward, resulting in the salt water rippling around their bodies when they stumbled into each other rather inelegantly. The person was identifiable by scent alone, because despite the hours spent beneath summer heat and layers of pungent SPF being applied, somehow Taylor still smelled like aged vanilla and citrus. "Emma's mine!""Taylor's mine!" The blonde mimicked gleefully, contently slipping her hands downward until they found a home overtop of the wrists that locked tightly around her waist. Drunkenly, she threw her head back to rest on the musicians chest, indigo eyes searching for Taylor's in her upside-down position. "Hi!" She giggled sweetly, having been entirely unaware of the blonde slowly creeping up behind her throughout the duration of Ryan and Blake's squabble.Taylor turned her full attention down to the blonde that melted contently into her embrace, wide eyes gleaming up at her, awaiting a response to the whispered greeting that had been exchanged so many times before. Sapphire eyes locked with indigo, and a honeyed smile split Taylor's lips apart as she murmured it back. In that intimately shared moment, Taylor knew that if their eyes were swatches of paint on a canvas, they'd become a bold shade of midnight blue."Am I on top or you?" Emma hummed inquisitively, her words a whispered stretch of personal intimacy that didn't reach the attention of others lingering around them in the water. She'd fallen deep into the labyrinth of blue that looked back at her, a besotted grin sprawled across her lips and cheeks.Taylor smiled incredulously, feigning shocked that Emma would even entertain the possibility of being allowed to carry the both of them through the game when she could barely even keep her own body upright at the moment. "I'm going to hold you up, and you're gonna fight like hell to stay on my shoulders. I don't lose, Emmie." The teasing glint that surfaced in Taylor's eyes disrupted the tranquil nothingness that had previously existed within them, and Emma nodded understandingly.They were one of the last pairings to be awarded a turn in the first round, something that would've irked Taylor had she been grouped up with anyone else, but Emma had taken the initiative to strategise a plan that would ensure victory as they waited. As competitive as Taylor prided herself on being, she'd finally met her match with Emma, so when Blake called their names, they smirked smugly at each other before jumping into action. They were pitted against the unlikely duo of Martha and Halston, with the actress sat firmly the shoulders of the model, both of them looking entirely too confident as they shuffled toward the middle of the pool.It had taken less then ten seconds for Emma to shove Halston into the water beneath their bodies, but when she did lose balance on Martha's shoulders, she landed in the water with a sharp splash and a quiet grunt that sounded pained. The victory wasn't celebrated quietly, in fact it was the very opposite, and after thirty seconds of being forced to listen to the women chant and sing about their win, Blake cut them off with an amused eye roll and call for the next two pairings to step up. The rounds repeated until only one pair remained, and while Emma and Taylor were more than happy to share the title and both be winners, Austin drunkenly insisted on a final death round where they'd fight for the crown individually. It had been agreed to unanimously, though neither Taylor or Emma put their heart into it like they'd previously done.The attendees surrounding them had chosen a side quickly, and Taylor couldn't even pretend to be annoyed at the fact that near everyone had taken to Emma, even her childhood best friends. "Come on, Emma! Shove her!" Britany yelled, halfway through a beer as she loitered near the lounge chairs, wrapped up in her husbands tender embrace.Emma did shove her, in fact, she'd shoved hard enough for the impact to send both Taylor and Karlie falling backward into the water with two uncoordinated splashes. Her victory was short lived, because the second that she'd been returned to her feet by Ryan, who'd eagerly volunteered to be her parter when Austin proposed the sudden death round, never one to turn down a challenge to beat Taylor at a game, she'd been promptly dunked beneath the water by the blonde.When she resurfaced, her laughter harmonised beautifully with Taylor's, and both of them fell forward into the other, laughing until they couldn't anymore and their stomaches ached from the prolonged strain of muscles. In forty years, all Emma would remember was how much she'd laughed with Taylor that day.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
WATCH HILLS BEACH
WESTERLY, RHODE ISLAND
The heat was once again unforgiving on the morning of the Fourth; the official holiday that the weekend getaway had been leading up to finally upon them. Bodies hadn't rolled off of comfortable couches any longer than two hours ago, but already were coarse grains of sand coating toes and harsh salty waves crashed against waists warm from the air. The sun remained uncovered, the endless abyss of blue skies a delicate account to the unfolding summer months. In just eight weeks, the abysmal reign of heat and humidity would be long behind the occupants of Taylor's private beach front, but for the next thirty hours, Emma willed herself to focus solely on the present, and the pungent aroma of marijuana that trailed through the air.Her gaze trailed over toward the expanse of shore in a weak attempt to identify which of Taylor's friends had lit up, though she should've assumed it was Cara and Alana initially. The two were farther back than the others, who had all frolicked into the sea without reservations almost twenty minutes ago, and had huddled together beside the cliff-side staircase that led up to Taylor's property indiscreetly. She laughed softly when Cara's sharp blue eyes fell upon her, and persistently the dirty blonde model waved her over, joint hanging between her lips.The first thing asked when she approached was delivered by Alana, who grabbed the joint between two fingers and raised it to her lips with a practiced ease. It came as no surprise to Emma, who had only met these two women four days prior, that they'd be the ones to be huddled up somewhere discreet like teenagers. The fact that they were smoking was blatantly obvious, but somehow it felt imperative that it be kept something secret; it was always more enjoyable that way, if only to fed the stereotype."You smoke?" Was what Alana had asked, because in all fairness, Emma didn't exactly seem the type to roll her own blunt or smoke a bowl. She didn't entertain the question however, rather reached for the joint when Alana had finished her drag and raised it to her own lips, letting her eyes flutter closed as she pulled in the smoke. "Alright, stupid question." Alana laughed, nodding her head encouragingly when Emma exhaled the smoke."I don't as much anymore, but I've still got some tricks up my sleeve." Emma smirked, a dangerous glint swimming within her indigo eyes as she and Alana began a competition of who could impress Cara the most. Alana had won, but only because on her third rip, Taylor had decided to sneak up behind the unsuspecting brit and assault her waist with wiggling fingers."Christ, Taylor!" Emma shrieked as she was lifted off the ground and spun around in a tight circle, a kaleidoscope of blue's and beige's swirling in her vision, Cara and Alana laughing at the sight of the blondes. "You scared the bloody shite outta me!"Taylor giggled infectiously as she shrugged with feigned innocence despite the daggers of mischief piercing her eyes. When Emma was returned to her own naked feet, sand and rocks digging into the soles of her skin, the musician wrapped her up in a tight embrace, draping her arms across the actresses shoulders and leaning into her warm body. "Isn't it a little early for this?""Definitely." Cara smirked uncaringly, her baby blue eyes trailing over Emma's relaxed stature as she took another hit, body melting into Taylor contently. "Kar was meant to be joining before she and Josh split. Think they've gotten lost in each other's eyes over there." Cara tutted smugly, feigning disgust as attention was briefly directed over to where Karlie and her boyfriend stood lip-locked in the ocean, their wet shimmering limbs tanged together."I can't believe you've abandoned our bathroom hotbox session for Karlie and Josh!" Taylor laughed softly, squeezing Emma tightly around her waist when the blonde lazily smiled up at her."What can I say, I'm a woman of opportunity. You gonna take a hit or what, think this one'll finish it if it's not taken off her soon." Cara laughed amusedly, her eyes never leaving the sight of Emma so ethereally placed against Taylor's chest, the joint practically killed between her pointer and middle fingers.Taylor shook her head, declining the offer, wanting to feel the buzz of her drinks alone for the next few hours. "I'll find you later. No better karaoke night than a stoned karaoke night.""Preach." Alana nodded understandingly, her body heavy with lightness leaning up against the jagged rocks that surrounded them as she tilted her face up toward the sun, melting beneath the sensation of warmth against her skin. "Ed was a mess last year." She laughed reminiscently.Cara chuckled, shaking her head as a memory played behind her baby blues, her flush cheeks growing flusher as a smile of fondness broke the surface. "Bloke almost lost his head on the mic wire. Bloody miracle he's still got all his limbs."Emma's laughter sobered just as quickly as she'd fallen into it, her piercing indigo eyes set stiffly on the long lens camera pointed directly at the expanse of sand and shore, more-so on the collection of a-listers splashing around in the water rather then her, but every ligament in her body went rigid in paranoid fear of what would become of her already stained reputation if she were to be spotted between the cliffs with a less than modest bikini adorning her painted body and a joint pinched between her fingers. Even if she was twenty-one, even if she'd never fit the mold of a traditional child actress, even with the branded name of limelight legend inked onto her back like a target — she wasn't ready for everything she'd built to completely fall apart because she'd decided to have fun with her friends. Friends, plural. She could confidently say that even after the death of her weekend getaway, Cara and Selena, at the very least, would remain her friends."Tay." Emma whispered quietly, shrugging the blonde's arms off of her shoulders regretfully. The second they fell away from her body entirely, a sensation of harrowing coldness fell over her once delightfully warm skin. With the attention of all three women having fallen onto her at the abrupt change of attitude, expressions of genuine concern painted their faces evenly. "At your eleven o'clock.""What?" Taylor frowned, her deep blue eyes trailing over the expanse of her backyard before she found the location Emma had mentioned and her radiant light slipped away entirely, a heavy weight settling over her heart instead. "Oh." She sighed painfully, squeezing Emma's hips reassuringly before she stepped further back on the gravely sand, creating distance between their bodies."It's okay." Emma smiled the brightest smile she could manage with her racing heart threatening to fracture the structure of her ribcage, attempting to shake the grief of short lived freedom away from her expression. "You know what, I forgot to put sunscreen on. I'm gonna go do that before I end up a cherry tomato."The blonde politely excused herself, starting up toward the house with her head tilted toward the jagged steps carved out of stone. Taylor's heart stuttered with guilt as she watched Emma sink into her skin, disappearing from the surface with every step toward isolation she sought out. "Emmy-" Her words fell flat in front of her, desperate and longing, but the woman was already too far away to hear them. Cara and Alana frowned wistfully, narrowed glares turned toward the paparazzi that had absolutely shatteredEmma's radiance."Where are you going?" Alana frowned, looking quizzically at Taylor who had spun on her heels and began to stomp toward the crashing waves, specs of sand kicking up against milky white calves with the ferocity of her steps. "Taylor!"Alana's calling had been futile, albeit well intended. Taylor, in the depths of blinding sympathy for a woman sweeter than granulated sugar, had marched her way over to where her security team lingered near the divide between public and private property, demanding less than kindly that a barrier be set around the entire property until the fifth. She'd barely uttered so much as a thank you before she turned back toward the cliffs, but it hadn't been taken personally. The insistence embroidered within her tone had been a clear giveaway as to why she'd become so tightly wound; it seemed Emma had managed to worm her way into the steeled hearts of her security guards as well as her friends, because Thomas, a man Taylor had never associated with efficiency, was on the phone demanding backup within seconds.The staircase carved out of the jagged cliffs had never felt so impossibly long, but with each quick step toward the house where the silhouette of Emma resided like a haunted shadow in the kitchen windows made even seconds feel like minutes. The unforgiving sun assaulted her in affectionate warmth, dressing her rangy limbs in shimmering pearls of perspiration. She'd gone unnoticed by the vultures at the gate, which proved to be the only glimpse of peace in sight. If she'd gone undetected, Emma hopefully had too, but the damage had already been done for the younger blonde and the closer Taylor came to seeking isolation alongside her proved that deprecating assumption right.So desperately Taylor wanted to believe that Emma's light hadn't been snuffed out by insensitive men with expensive cameras, she wanted to believe that the actress had gone inside only because she truly had forgotten sunscreen, but even as a silhouette of muted reds and whites visible through the windows, the severity of her body jolting cries were conspicuously distinct. Taylor slipped inside softly, closing the backdoor near silently as she attempted to keep the tranquil silence Emma had created intact and protected."Emmy." She began benevolently, though her voice betrayed her attempt to diminish her intentions as casual company. The woman in the kitchen released a shattered gasp for breath as she sank into her hands and unleashed every emotion warranted for the situation. "How can I help you, Em?"A guttural sob slipped off of Emma's chapped lips as she attempted to answer Taylor — lips that had been carved into a permanent grin of contentment since the thirtieth of June. Shoulders trembled like earthquakes, and each tear that slipped down pale ivory cheeks dismantled the little pieces of security that Emma had found in Rhode Island. "I thought I was ready!"Taylor inhaled sharply at the utter distress tangled into Emma's tone, her indigo blue eyes filled with blank blackness reflective of the endless galaxies that existed out of reach for them. "I thought I was ready to stop hiding. I thought— I thought that I was at a place where I could handle new headlines, where I could confidently ignore them! But I saw that camera and I remembered that the one person who never looked at me any differently isn't here to be my solid ground anymore! Nothing they wrote about me ever phased her, it didn't matter what was being written, what lie was being spun into clickbait at the expense of my sanity. She was the only person who was confident that only she knew the truth— knew me. I thought I was ready to face this without her. I thought I was ready to accept being alone."At some point, Emma had allowed her body to be turned away from the window that overlooked the shore where nobody had even realized they'd left, and rather pulled into a soft body that still carrying the essence of warmth on salt smelling skin. Taylor held Emma between her calloused hands and pillowy chest, feeling the weight of each shallow breath against her. Emma's breathing was erratic, panicked and pained in a way that Taylor wasn't unfamiliar with, but detested. Sweetly, the older blonde dropped her forehead onto the crown of the younger woman's head, blue eyes fluttering closed and encapsulating this moment in just them. Her breath fanned across Emma's temple, hot and breathy, but so heavily it carried the plea of, "Let me know you."Emma shook her head desperately, hands clinging to the thick straps of Taylor's bikini, begging her to understand the gravity of her unique situation within the industry. "I can't ask you to do that. They'll destroy you. The only thing those vultures love more than a successful woman is a child star that hasn't gone off the rails yet. They'll dissect everything you do. Any misstep I make they'll blame you. They'll make you out to be my downfall. I can't let you sign up for that, Taylor. Please don't make me ask that of you.""I'm asking you, Emma." Taylor squeezed the blonde tightly, unwilling to let her slip away for a second time. She didn't want to know when the last time anyone had truly held Emma was. "I'm asking you to let me in. I'm asking you to give me a chance. I want to know you. I want to be so confident in knowing who you are, that all I can do when I see some absurd headline is laugh.""They'll rip you to shreds." Was Emma's meekly whispered response, her knuckles becoming a ghostly white when she tightened her grip on Taylor's vibrant red bikini, unwilling to allow space to grow between their cooling bodies."Let them, then." Taylor combed her fingers through Emma's tousled hair, marveling at how silky it feels between the pads of her digits even after being exposed to the wind and a restless nights sleep. "They're already trying to ruin me. I should be the one warning you. You should be running for the hills while you still can. It's getting worse every day.""Only one day in your life can be the worst. Every day after that has no choice but to be better. I'll be here for your worst day, and every one before and after it. If you'll let me?" Emma peaked up at Taylor with a doe-like stare, indigo eyes regaining their light.Taylor smiled softly, nodding her agreement to the proposal. She'd only had Emma in her life for six months, but those almost two-hundred days had shown her a kaleidoscope of endless possibilities awaiting them. "I wouldn't have it any other way.""Me either." Emma sighed contently, melting into Taylor's chest, her arms encapsulating the blonde in a grip so fiercely protective that for a second the musician didn't feel so utterly broken inside."Cara and Alana are pretty worried about you." Taylor hummed, her blunt nails that had been so perfectly curated for the elegant strumming of a six string guitar tracing patterns across painted skin untouched by the ocean and its potent essence of salt. "I think they need proof of life before that pathetic excuse of a photographer meets an untimely demise."Emma shook her head, blonde wisps of pin straight hair a feather light presence against Taylor's flush skin. "Don't let go yet.""I won't." The Pennsylvania raised woman assured, her calloused hands that had been sentenced to a life of merely wielding fountain pens and quils like daggers finding a new meaning, a softer meaning, in the way she held onto Emma's even softer body. "You're my best friend. I wouldn't dream of letting you go.""Cancer fucking sucks, but I'm thankful that in the end it lead me to you." The English-American actress avowed dolefully, an intricate web of intense sympathies sewing their battered hearts together with the frailest invisible string. The uttermost scornful of tragedies had tied their paths together, a rift in the waters they existed within wouldn't come close to dismantling what had been found. Emma would protect their relationship until the very end.When Emma crinkled her nose, her blue eyes painted with the presence of red and deep black, there was no denying that the buzz had finally hit her fully. "Be honest, do I smell like weed?""Oh, yeah. You reek." Taylor's dulcet laughter floated through the air and attempted to fully alleviate the brief moments of pain that had strained both of their tender heartstrings, reigniting the delicate flames of lightness that had begun to burn out. "Nothing a dip in the ocean can't fix thought.""Only if you go down the slide with me." Emma countered, her eyes mischievous and bubbly as she pulled away from Taylor's healing embrace and settled her hands on her hips."I believe I can fit that into my schedule. You're lucky. I'm a hard woman to win time with." Taylor giggled, pulling Emma back into her embrace, though this time it was lighter, not intending to hold together shattering pieces. "Greg and Thomas are setting a perimeter around the property. They'll let me know when those vultures are gone. I'm sorry I didn't think to do that earlier."Emma shook her head, chin resting on Taylor's chest as she peered up at the blonde through long thick lashes. "Don't accommodate to my life at the expense of yours, Taylor. I appreciate the sentiment. It honestly means more to me than you can even imagine, but I don't expect you to fall away from the limelight just because I manage to evade it. Keeping my life private was a choice that I made. If those vultures saw me today, then they see me and there's nothing I can do about it. I know the implications of being around your career, but I cherish being around you more.""How are you so perfect?" Taylor's lips pulled downward into an elegant pout as she stared deep into the mystical haze of indigo eyes that hid nothing of her inebriated state, much to Taylor's fond amusement.Emma crinkled her nose, disgust painted across the expanse of her face as she scowled at the well-intended commentary that Taylor knows she hates. "I'm not. Last week I called you sobbing because there was a spider in my trailer. Don't act like you've forgotten. You bullied me for three days threatening to break into my apartment and hide rubber spiders in every room. By the way, if you ever joke about that again, I'm breaking into your apartment and dumping the kitty litter on your pillow.""You wouldn't! Emma, that's revolting!" Taylor bubbled with laughter, her piercing blue eyes fluttering shut as she let herself fall into the imagery of what the scene she'd come home to would entail. The best part was in her head, Emma would be around to see her reaction. They'd spend the night together, wine and endless movies, homemade cookies if she could convince the actress to crawl away from the couch for an hour. They wouldn't spend months apart, they'd have one night of normalcy.Emma maintained her most unimpressed expression, but Taylor could pinpoint the wild glow in her enchanting deep blue eyes. "So are spiders, fake or not. Don't test me, Taylor!""Not even a little bit?" Taylor teased, pinching her pointer finger and thumb together cutely as she shrugged her shoulders up to her ears, aware of the fire she was feeding. Emma grumbled indistinctly, slapping at the older blonde's shoulder as she huffed and pouted, her long face the definition of easily obtained beauty. "Okay! No spiders." Taylor laughed, catching Emma's hand in hers before it could make contact with her delicate skin again. "You pack a mean slap, you know? Whatever workout routine they've got you on, for this big multi-Emmy-winning project, it's working.""You're being annoying." Emma huffed, her cheeks flushed pink, unable to take the compliment no matter how concentrated in sarcasm it was. "You've got ten Grammy's. I'm sure at least three of them are here.""Do you wanna trade?" Taylor's drunken stare brightened at the sudden idea, her blue eyes shining like stars in an Arizona dessert as she and Emma fell into their own world. "I'll give you a Grammy and you give me an Emmy! Then we're both halfway to an EGOT.""I'd be three quarters of the way to an EGOT. I thought you did your research." Emma teased, her blue eyes squinted in dazzling amusement as Taylor proceeded to scrunch up her nose and poke her tongue out rather petulantly. "I won an Oscar in 2009.""Where is this Oscar? It's definitely not in California, I looked at all of your awards!" Taylor exclaimed, voice drenched in dramatics as she threw her arms out at her sides exasperatedly."New York." Emma laughs softly, hardly surprised that in the handful of minutes Taylor had wandered her house alone, she'd made it a point to scope out the shelf of awards Emma had ever so modestly displayed in the living room. "It's the only award I move with. I honestly couldn't even tell you why. It's like my emotional support Oscar."Taylor snorted her sincerest amusement, soft golden blonde locks falling over her shoulders as a result of her laugher, head shaking side to side. Whatever response had lived on the tip of her tongue died in seconds when her phone pinged in her pocket, a text message from Greg relaying the information that the property had been cleared effectively and shouldn't be a problem at any point further in the approaching afternoon. "Let's go!"Their sanctuary found in the center of the gold drenched kitchen faded into shades of blue and beige, and crashing waves slammed into Emma's waist the farther Taylor dragged her out to sea. Their hands were entangled together like knots in a dainty silver chain, slim digits locked together at the knuckles, unable to be pulled apart by even the unruly tide. Emma's laughter remained the soundtrack of the weekend escape, and though she should've been paying attention to where she planted her feet in the sand beneath the water, she trusted Taylor to steer their path toward the inflatable slide while she closed her eyes and fell into the moment entirely.The slightest trail of a breeze whipped around Emma's head and carried strands of hair with it, tickling her cheek incessantly. A warm feeling spread through her belly as she surrender to the moment, unconsciously squeezing at Taylor's hand every time she sunk into wet sand. "Taylor! Emma! Get your asses up here!"Selena's voice shattered the serenity found in the silence of Emma's mind, abruptly drawing her into reality with sharp claws. Reluctantly, she peeled her indigo eyes open and surrendered to the jagged pain of what was watercolor eyes adjusting to bright sunlight, made worse by how prominently golden rays of mid-summer daylight reflected off of vibrant inflatable plastic."We're coming!" Taylor called back, her tone saturated in warm anticipation that Emma couldn't help but smile at fondly. At some point as they drew nearer to the slide, Taylor had guided Emma into being the one leading them through the thinning waves, their hands still clasped together but taught in the opposite direction.It was only when they began to climb the latches in the ladder that Emma realized the intentions behind the blonde maneuvering their position, although she couldn't find it in her heart to feel any sense of embarrassment as she slipped off the notches each time she thought she was getting somewhere. Selena laughed infectiously from the top of the slide, digital camera raised at the pair of blondes struggling to stay upright.Taylor's attempts at providing support could only be so much help to Emma who, between her palms wet from the ocean and heavy from the haze over falling over her mind heavily now, was struggling to even remember what she was supposed to be doing as she kept turning her head to grin cheekily at the blonde."Em! I want to get up there at some time today!" Ryan called out teasingly, no ounce of sincerity in his lightly projected taunt. At some point during the actresses struggle he'd joined them by the slide, his body halfway onto the inflatable as he waited for the inevitable tumble both she and Taylor took.The blonde whipped her head to the side, hazy blue eyes narrowed challengingly. "I'm trying! My hands aren't working!"When she slipped for the sixth time, slamming into Taylor who'd only just barely managed to catch her by the waist, both the musician and the deadpool actor fell into contagious fits of laughter that guided the eyes of those close enough to hear the commotion over to the slide. The plastic inflatable hardly swayed when Ryan climbed fully onto the landing, his body shimmering with droplets of water that would vanish beneath the sunlight in minutes. That was how Emma ended up on Ryan's back, receiving a piggy-back ride all the way up the ladder until she was abruptly dropped only inches from Selena, infectious laughter echoed off of the inflatable walls of the slide, and closer to the shore, those that had caught the ordeal as it occurred cheered loudly, vibrating chants of Emma's name provoking a deep flush on the actresses cheeks."Right, show me what you've got, Reynolds." Emma smirked tauntingly in the actors direction, a glint of competitiveness falling over top of her enchanting blue eyes thickly. Taylor smiled softly at the unfolding scene, confident that Ryan would to take the low dangling bait. She smiled knowingly down at Emma, who promptly latched onto the wrist closest to her own body and pulled the musician down onto the inflatable right beside her, their thighs brushing together as Taylor stumbled, her laughter warm as it echoed around Emma's head and pierced her heart.Ryan scoffed disbelievingly, his eyes slotted into daggers as he pointing a wagging finger in Emma's direction, falling onto the slide with calculated maneuvers, his body bouncing only twice as the inflatable absorbed the shock of his abrupt movement. Before he pushed off the walls and slipped down the steep ramp of the inflatable, he turned his head to Emma, addressing her directly. "You're not ready for my skills, kid." The blonde wasn't given a chance to respond, because within seconds Ryan was bracing his hands on the walls and shooting down the slide, only just barely managing to pop up onto his feet in time to front flip into the water over the barrier. When he resurfaced, a shit-eating grin adorned his slowly tanning features, an aire of confidence to his already prideful attitude.Emma rolled her eyes, miming a slow dramatic clap that both Taylor and Selena giggled in response to. Blake, who was easily spotted on the coast beside Tom and Abigail, pregnant belly cradled between her tight grasp, rolled her eyes at her husband, shaking her head disapprovingly. Ryan was entirely unaware, still hollering in celebration regarding his dismount, salt water soaked hair sticking to odd sections of his forehead. Emma grinned up at Taylor, holding her hand out for the blonde to grasp, electric excitement shimmering beneath deep indigo.There was a staggered count of three, a shriek of melodious laughter, and then wild screams of elation reverberated across the expanse of Taylor's private shore, both the actress and musician plummeting twenty feet down in less than fourteen seconds, hands tightly intertwined as sunburnt skin skimmed over plastic warm from daylight. A soft breeze encapsulated their bodies in a sudden moment, catching on strands of tied back hair, two different shades of blonde.They hadn't even come to a complete stop at the bottom of the slide before Emma was hopping up onto her feet, a beaming smile plastered on her face as she shoved thin strands of blonde locks away from her eyes. Taylor was just barely getting her balance when Emma requested they do it again, and even if it had sounded like the worst idea in the world, the musician wouldn't have been able to decline, so they did the slide again, and a third time after that, and then a fourth time after that, until cheeks were permanently sore from smiling so hard and skin was nearly the color of the red bathing suit adorning Taylor's body.Hours later, when burnt bodies had meticulously scrubbed of the lingering presence of salt and sand, and matching patriotic onesies had been zipped overtop of bras and miscellaneous pajama pieces, Emma found herself sprawled across Taylor's lap in a small corner of the couch, their fingers tightly intertwined as they observed a very cut-throat game of Mario Kart taking place. They'd opted out of playing the first round, instead having settled into a soft conversation within the rambunctious chaos."I'm sorry Tom couldn't stay. I know you were looking forward to being with him tonight." Emma whispered so softly that the words barely fell upon Taylor's skin, burnt from more than just a long weekend in the sun. The blonde gave her most authentic uninterested smirk, sapphire blue eyes flickering down to watch galaxies collide within the endless abyss of indigo that could drown all of her problems instantaneously. Emma knew Taylor well enough to know that nothing about the expression adorning her lips was sincere, rather a desperate ploy to convince herself that she didn't care much about the foiled plans laid out in front of her like shattered stained glass. The actresses heart hammered with a rhapsody of vile understanding for the blonde who had been so infatuated with the simple idea of spending a weekend of prolonged normalcy with her a-list boyfriend — if you could call him as much. Tom was a nice enough guy, Emma had encountered many conversations with in passing at award shows while she was on the rise, but from the outside perspective, he seemed to be dropping every life preserver shaped like a ball Taylor threw his way. Emma had been there, she'd watched bridges burn a few million times, it was always the worst pain.Taylor smiled down at Emma reassuringly, her voice softer than a breeze trailing through a small town on a quiet night in May. Emma had l known Taylor for only a handful months, but in that decently short time, she'd seen just how deeply passionate the musician is about maintaining relationships and making genuine efforts to stay connected; she'd never seen her so quick to forgive a clear dismissal of reciprocated feelings. "I'm glad he could come at all. He said last week that he wasn't sure if it would fit."For the sake of allowing Taylor to have, at the very least, some semblance of peace to sleep with, Emma nodded acceptingly, turning her face into the blonde's neck in an attempt to hide away from the lights in her generously provided warmth. Taylor laughed softly when silky locks of blonde hair fell against her cheek, provoking the faintest trail of goosebumps to rise on her already flush skin. "Oh sure, make yourself comfortable."Emma smiled lazily, the concoction of drinks and joints she'd been handed all afternoon affectively working against her now. If she craned her neck to glance at the analog clock featured amongst the sporadic display of random awards, she'd learn that it was somewhere undisclosed after midnight. She didn't know that however, because even the thought of turning her head away from Taylor's neck was too much to consider. Her even breaths trailed gently over Taylor's skin, and at some point, the blonde had started timing the seconds between each inhale, sitting contently beside her best friends who were entirely unaware.The mutually established peace that had washed over the pair of blondes could only last for so long, and just as Emma found herself falling asleep against Taylor's chest, the faintest pulses of her heart acting as a lullaby of sorts, absolute chaos erupted around them when Austin won the first round of Mario Kart, much to Karlie's annoyance. Emma didn't care much for the rivalry that ensued, neither blonde willing to act with appropriate sportsmanship, so another round was started, this time between only the pair of them as other guests filtered into the kitchen to refill drinks, or wandered out onto the porch to watch as neighboring houses set off last minute firework. Emma sighed softly in begrudged acceptance, attempting to wake herself up rather than falling back into the darkness of safe comfort that Taylor provided. She stuck her tongue out at Cara, who'd been making eyes at the pair of them from across the room for who knows how long. They shared a silent conversation, smiles creeping across both of their lips as it ended with mutual stiff nods and the disappearance of the model who indiscreetly tapped Alana on the shoulder and made a peace sign with her fingers as she passed.Emma waited barely a minute before she stood up, figuring that the motive behind Cara's disappearance and her attempted getaway were clear to anyone who paid even a second of attention to the interaction that had just transpired. Taylor was not one of those people apparently, because when Emma's warmth vanished like the afternoon sunlight, she pouted solemnly and patted her thighs invitingly, hoping to draw the blonde back into her embrace. It almost worked too, which was the saddest part about the entire ordeal, though when Alana very obnoxiously left the room, Emma knew there was no falling back on the plans made with Cara.It had taken minimal convincing to get Taylor up off the couch and trailing after the English-American actress, though what proved to be the hardest part was cramming four women into the half-bathroom Cara had chosen to become their sanctuary for the impromptu smoke session. It wouldn't have been so difficult if there weren't two litter boxes taking up half of the back wall."You couldn't have chosen another room?" Alana whined, nudging Emma with her elbow as the pair of them sank into the other's embrace, seeing no other resolution in sight. Taylor's laughter was nothing short of angelic as she watched the two squabble over who was knocking into who, but it came to an abrupt end when Emma was taken by the waist and dragged over to Taylor, being told assertively to sit and be quiet."You're so bossy." Emma pouted, completely disregarding the fact that Taylor had told her to shut up, but she did listen to the first demand, and sank heavily into the blonde's lap. A content sigh fell off of her lips as she settled into Taylor's chest, noting that the toilet made a surprisingly comfortable chair for the moment. "It's not my fault Alana has bony elbows." She added as an afterthought, although Taylor was hearing nothing of her excuses as she raised a hand and placed it firmly over Emma's mouth."You were half asleep three minutes ago. Are you always this cranky when you're tired?" Taylor quirked an amused eyebrow down at the blonde, who seemed to find her current predicament beyond amusing if the soft, muffled giggles, were any indication.Without so much as attempting to remove the hand from over her mouth, Emma nodded softly, her hot breath fanning across Taylor's palm as she mumbled a quiet but distinct, "Yes."Emma watched through barely-open blue eyes as Cara and Alana struggled to get the joint lit, the amber flame that sparked from the lighter a continuous flicker of ambient yellow, just barely bright enough to tinge the walls an aureate shade. At some point, Taylor's hand had become a prisoner in hers, and so entrancingly she found herself memorizing every grove across ivory knuckles.She sighed in contentment after a handful of minutes, her heart light in her chest despite the taunting beginning of a hangover bobbing beneath the surface of tranquil water, not entirely ready to rear its ugly head, yet she could feel the queasy sensation pricking at the back of her throat and the way even the dim overhead lights felt like agonizing pressure against her skull. Her luck of remaining unaffected by the copious amount of alcohol consumed were running out, but Taylor had promised a breakfast of champions when the moment came that sickness took over, and so she didn't fight the inevitable. It would be hours later when started wrenching up every beer and shot of tequila that she'd consumed since landing in Rhode Island, but for right now it was just Taylor's calming touch and the aroma of good weed."I thought Karlie was going to join?" Taylor recalled after a moment of accepted silence fell over them, all the while tracing her fingertips over a frayed thread on Emma's star patterned sleep shorts. It had been something close to a miracle when she'd pulled them out of a drawer in her California bedroom, but Taylor had insisted that they come along for the weekend, even if they were from late 2009 and hugged her thighs accordingly.Cara rolled her eyes at the mention of her blonde friend still sat out in the living room, the atmosphere suddenly feeling very reminiscent of what Emma can only assume is high school. The models head lulls backward to rest against the wall as she exhales a cloud of murky white smoke before passing the joint clockwise to Alana, clearly having her own formulated opinion on Karlie's presence, or lack there of. "She's been a right cunt all day.""Karlie?" Taylor frowned deeply, pulling Emma tighter against her chest after she shifted their position on the toilet, pins and needles traveling through her shins from how they'd previously been laid out. "She was fine when I was talking to her earlier."Cara groaned, shaking her head adamantly. If Emma wasn't half-asleep, she would've found genuine amusement in the nature of the conversation, but she was half-asleep and all she could really focus on was the way Alana tried to muffle a cough with the fabric of her onesie and very desperately shoved the joint into Taylor's touch. "She's been up my ass asking about you all day."Emma wanted to shrink beneath Cara's intense stare when it was pointedly turned in her direction, sinking into Taylor's comforting embrace with little dignity, her cheeks becoming a blank canvas for color to fill at a moments notice. Her soft spoken voice was practically a squeak when she managed to find coherent syllables and acknowledge the accusation. "Me?""Yes!" Cara exclaimed ardently, and whether her passion was derived from annoyance or genuine confusion, Emma didn't know, but she was aware of how her belly churned with anxiety at the thought of creating waves in Taylor's close circle of friends; even if she'd thought that Karlie was sweet and they'd hit it off. "She had the bloody gall to ask if you were even old enough to drink, which is rich coming from her! Every conversation I've had with her this weekend has all come back to you, which I cannot wrap my head around because you've been nothing but sweet!""Oh, um, yeah." Emma frowned, subconsciously beginning to pick at the tender skin around her cuticles, cautious not to chip the shimmering paint adorning each finger in a meticulous pattern. It felt like years ago that she and Taylor had painted them in her en-suite bathroom, but time couldn't lie, and each finger remained in perfect condition, disproving her theory. "Yeah, I thought she was nice. I mean, we haven't really crossed paths much. Not since we did those shots the first day."When Emma reached for the joint, Taylor passed it over more than willingly, her sapphire blue eyes already murky with an additional layer of intoxication that suited her well. The actress was certain that there wasn't a look the musician couldn't pull off dazzlingly — even if it was bloodshot eyes and blown pupils. The first hit felt like instant relief as it inflated her lungs, although Emma knew it was more a learned placebo affect then anything substantial, but she'd eagerly accept her own mind tricks over the brewing storm of anxiety clawing at her insides and attempting to turn her spine colder than a winter night in New York City."Don't even worry about her." Alana, who had finally pulled herself together after swallowing too quickly after a drag, insisted reassuringly. "She's not the most welcoming on her own, you couldn't have been any nicer to her. Sorry, T, but I don't think anyone here actually likes her besides you. I mean, the first time we met she glared at me from across the room for half an hour.""None taken, honestly." Taylor shrugged, mindlessly trailing the tips of her fingers across Emma's goosebump adorned thighs, her eyes tracing the delicate motions of the actresses jaw as she pulled in a deep hit, indigo eyes fluttering closed in bliss before she meticulously exhaled away from where Cara stood. "We're not what we used to be. Maybe that was my fault, maybe she should've had a clearer picture of what she wanted before everything happened. Whatever the reason, it's more of an obligation to invite her than a friendly one at this point.""I still think you're entirely too forgiving." Cara scoffed, but didn't divulge any further, the subject clearly something sensitive to Taylor who had gone stiff beneath Emma's weight and curled her fingertips tightly around her thighs. "What song are we singing, Em? I'll have you know I take karaoke very seriously." The topic was changed easily, and for that Emma was thankful, though whether it was for her benefit or Taylor's remained undisclosed.Emma's eyes widened dramatically in the handful of seconds that followed Cara's question, the wires within her brain admittedly running rather slowly now as a result of exhaustion and intoxication. She shook her head adamantly in the negative, declining any and all invitations to join in on their ritualistic activity. "Oh no. I am not participating, thank you.""It's sweet that you think you have a choice. I wasn't really asking." Cara laughed cynically, her piercing blue eyes alight with contagious mischief that sparked entertainment for Taylor and Alana. Emma wasn't getting out of karaoke, not by a long shot.Emma grimaced at the memory staining the back of her eyelids like spilled red wine on a white carpet, a truly pathetic sounding chuckle forewarning the surrounding women of her next spoken sentence, though nothing could've entirely prepared Taylor for the imagery seconds away from discoloring her vibrant vision. "The last time I did karaoke I puked on my best friend's shoes and he had to walk home with regurgitated vodka drenched socks.""Emma!" Like a perfectly rehearsed ensemble production, all three women visibly grimaced the same way she had only seconds prior. A gradient of blue eyes looked at her with distaste clear in their expressions, yet she merely shrugged and pulled the joint to her lips again."If you puke on me, I'm throwing you into the pool. You're not going to puke on me though. It's gonna be fun!" Cara grinned brightly down at her, reaching for the joint that Emma had no interest in. Her head was properly swimming already, she'd be an incoherent mess within minutes if she kept going like her tolerance was on parr with Calvin Broadus'.Indigo eyes narrowed unbelievingly, trailing ever so slightly to the left before they pulled back to where Cara stood. "Are you aware of the fact that one third of Haim is literally standing next to you? The second I open my mouth I will have basically just offended every professional in this house. I mean really, would you like to go toe to toe with me in an improv competition?" Emma turned her wild glare on Alana, who was unsuccessfully attempting to contain her amused laughter in the corner of the room.Emma didn't think it was possible for Taylor to hold her any tighter, but she was proven incorrect rather quickly. Gentle hands that had found a comfortable home on milky thighs temporarily deepened to something darker by the sun wrapped around Emma's waist, effectively locking her into place rather possessively. "One third of Haim?! You're literally on my lap, Emmie! Mine!" Taylor stressed the significance of her tender touch, sapphire eyes ablaze with disbelief when Emma finally craned her head to meet Taylor's gaze.Emma rolled her eyes fondly, shaking her head rather exasperatedly though without an ounce of sincerity. Taylor's dramatics were particularly endearing, even if her hips would wear the faintest patches of discoloration come daybreak; she always did bruise easily. "Yes. I know who you are, Taylor." She teased, laying her head down on the blonde's shoulder contently."Good. You're the only weirdo who's more afraid of Alana Haim than Taylor Swift. No offense, Als." She giggled softly as an afterthought, although the sole brunette in the room merely shrugged in understanding as she stole the joint back from Cara. At some point during the exchange, Taylor had begun to trail her fingertips along the notches in Emma's spine, the sensation faint and childishly ticklish, reminiscent of late nights spent pleading for a later bed time. Emma hadn't had anyone rub her back in years, and oddly the sensation had her wanting to break down in tears."You'll always be just Taylor." Emma whispered matter-of-factly, unsure of when Taylor would actually begin to believe her, but willing to offer reassurances whenever needed until then.Cara lips curved upward into a condescending smile, bright blue eyes filled with lightness. "As sickeningly cute as that was, you're still not getting out of karaoke."Emma, unsurprisingly enough, did not get out of karaoke like she'd hoped would happen. It had taken almost an hour to get not only everyone downstairs but the equipment set up accordingly, and desperately Emma had tried to make herself invisible throughout the entire ordeal. She'd sat behind the wet bar as Blake and Ryan smugly preformed a very dramatic rendition of Try Everything, something that was both surreal and mortifying as her most recent project haunted her proclaimed maturity, and had even gone as far as to start making cocktails for Selena and Gigi, who definitely didn't need anymore alcohol but had 'ordered' them anyways when they noticed Emma fiddling with a martini glass. She'd almost escaped it, her efforts were truly valiant, but Cara had dragged her away from her hideout right as she was mixing together a Manhattan for Taylor, their conversation from days prior a sudden spark in her memory."Cara!" Emma whined the entire time she was being dragged toward the microphones and musical equipment, her eyes grazing past Alana who was standing off to the side with a gorgeously sleek electric guitar in her grasp. Those that were engaged in their surroundings enough to notice her hesitations laughed amusedly, though Taylor's sapphire eyes in the small crowd were all that Emma focused on when she eventually relented and begrudgingly accepted the microphone Cara was attempting to shove into her shaking hands. "If I puke on your feet you can't say I didn't warn you." She grumbled, though her attitude was promptly ignored and drowned out by cheeky whispers and giggles as the English model and American musician discussed a song choice."You're Jasmine." Was all Cara said when she and Alana came to a conclusive decision on what they'd be singing along to for the night. Emma knew Aladdin like the back of her hand, it had always been one of her favorite comfort movies, so it had taken her single seconds to recognize the familiar tune strummed by the six string Fender when Alana began to play. She giggled softly into the mic when Cara made an extravagant show of performative romanticism, their fingers tightly intertwined and blue eyes locked together as the model sang with heart, clearly high enough to fully immerse herself into the moment. Emma was never one to disappoint — a dedicated people pleasure — so when it came to be her turn, she delivered with the same amount of sincerity, her delicate voice laced with sweetness that impressed.Her voice was perfect, infuriatingly angelic, and when she held the last high note for just three seconds longer than Cara, there was absolutely no mistaking her performance as simple luck. There was an uproar of applause and obnoxious whistling when microphones were lowered and Alana abruptly stopped strumming, though what genuinely caught Emma's attention was the way that Taylor grinned at her from behind her phone, clearly having recorded the rare moment of vulnerability. Even if this was just a casual party with some of Taylor's most trusted friends, even if there were no expectations or standards, it was terrifying to open yourself up to criticism, but Emma had done it, and she only felt slightly nauseous."I hated everything about that." She admitted to Cara with a whine in her voice, shuddering involuntarily when goosebumps derived from anxiety shot down her spine in tingling waves. Her bones felt like they were crawling with spiders, but unlike every time prior when that feeling had been enough to make her sick, all she could focus on was the memory of Taylor's proud smile and absolutely radiant glow. "Never again, Delevingne."The model didn't even acknowledge the statement. Instead, she slammed her fist into Emma's unsuspecting bicep and stared at her with eyes wide in genuine surprise. "You didn't tell me you could sing! What the fuck, Emma?"Emma smiled sheepishly at Cara, but before she could even attempt to defend herself, Alana was gripping onto her shoulders and dramatically shaking her around, cerulean blue eyes wild with disbelief. "Offend every professional in this house my ass!" She huffed without a trace of annoyance, the electric guitar bouncing off of Emma's thighs each time the momentum of Alana's movements swung it forward."Yeah." Emma giggled shyly, "I was just hoping if I said I'd make your ears bleed you'd leave it alone."Cara scoffed amusedly, shaking her head. "There was never a chance in hell of me leaving it alone. I thought we'd gotten to know each other, Em! Besides, you've just signed up to be my duet partner for life. I'll text you next time I find myself at a club with nobody to sing Aladdin with."Emma rolled her eyes, giggling softly as she pursed her lips and nodded exasperatedly, voice laced with sarcastic enthusiasm when she mumbled a response, "Oh boy, I can't wait for that."The drink that Emma had been preparing for Taylor had long since been forgotten about, left on the bar top beside a lone martini glass that would be found in the morning and laughed about softly. The second wave of energy that had come over her was dwindling faster than she could keep up with, and the haze over her mind was only pulling her down deeper than before. Every bone in her body felt like it was made out of wet cement, and the sluggish steps she took toward Taylor could attest to that."You've been holding out on me, Emmie." Taylor giggled softly, pulling the blonde down into her lap when she stepped close enough to reach. Taylor was warm, and Emma sank into her embrace without hesitation."I don't recall you serenading me with Spice Girls songs on FaceTime. I could say you've been holding out on me." Emma poked Taylor's nose softly, grinning cheekily when the blonde looked down at her with raised eyebrows and a poorly concealed smile of amusement."I'll be sure to remember next time." Taylor hummed tenderly, though a quiet yawn indicated that Emma wasn't the only one crashing horribly fast. The getaway to Rhode Island had been nothing short of beatific, but the many late nights and truly worrisome amounts of alcohol could only be sustained for so long, and it seemed that both Emma and Taylor had hit their peak. "You look exhausted, Em." The blonde whispered gently."Mmm. I feel exhausted. I think I'm gonna head upstairs, don't worry about being loud when you come up. I don't think anything's going to wake me tonight." She said softly, squeezing Taylor's hand before she trudged up the basement steps and through the brightly lit kitchen, grabbing two bottles of water from the refrigerator before she finally made her way up the main staircase and toward the master bedroom. Even in darkness the view was breathtaking, and for a single moment Emma stood by the window watching as the moonlight rippled across waves that had found peace since that afternoon.It wasn't a full twenty minutes later that she found herself fast asleep beneath the comforter and fitted sheet, curled up into a tight ball like she always was. An hour later, at just barely four in the morning with sunlight just beneath the horizon, the door creaked on its hinges as Taylor sunk into the room like a teenager, but even with the light that fell across her face from the hallway, and the shifting of a warm body crawling into bed, Emma didn't stir for a second. She didn't wake when Taylor gently brushed strands of hair away from her face, or when cold feet brushed against her shins accidentally. She remained dead to the world until after noon the next day, rousing only because of an incessant seagull just beyond the windows.The hangover that she'd felt brewing the night before had set in fully, and an hour of her last day in Rhode Island was spent over a porcelain toilet miserably expelling every drink and meal she'd consumed. The ache in her belly was healed by Taylor, who'd kept her promise and made an extravagant breakfast — or what was more accurately brunch — for them to eat with the few friends that remained before they restored the property to perfection. When Selena had left, the very last one to go, they'd climbed the flights of stairs sluggishly, took excruciatingly hot showers that left sunburnt skin a harsher shade of pink, and then packed for their return flight to LA. It was an afternoon spent mostly in silence, but neither minded the quiet that allowed their pounding heads to rest.They played scrabble on the flight, which Taylor infuriatingly won each time they reset the board, and when they landed in LA just four hours later, Emma sweet talked the pilot into letting her sit in the captains seat; something that Taylor had never been able to achieve. Unlike the first time they'd ever had to say goodbye, it felt unsettling to leave the others side, and maybe that was just because they'd spent the last week attached at the hip, or maybe it came down to nobody understanding them the way they understood each other. Whatever the case may have been, Emma hugged Taylor on the tarmac until Parker and Greg insisted that they wrap it up and get the jump on traffic before the vultures sought them out.With a final tight squeeze and whispered goodbye, the actress and the musician parted ways. Emma went one way and Taylor went the other. They didn't see each other again for another three months.Taylor received an Emmy in the mail four days later.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
THE COLLINS RESIDENCE
121 READE STREET, NEW YORK
The months of summertime had fully abandoned the streets of New York City when Emma returned in early October. She'd remained in Atlanta for the better portion of filming, only making weekend trips out to LA when she was urgently needed for meetings with her publicist and manager — even if her public appearances stopped, the articles never would, and each new headline that assumed she'd fallen off the wagon or miraculously conceived a child with only herself in the picture stripped away ounces of dignity she'd never get back. For the most part, her months had been peaceful if not a little lonesome, but now that she had been back in New York for a couple of weeks and reintroduced to the nightly soundtrack of car alarms and screeching breaks, she remembered just how isolating the city could be. Everywhere she went darkness lingered like the plague.Her days consisted of the same meticulously perfected routine, and while it was utterly brain-numbing to have every minute of her day planned out with absolutely no differentiation, there was no place more protected than the interior of her apartment and Emma valued her privacy more than an impulsive trip to the store for cookie dough. She really wanted cookies. She'd wanted cookies for days and yet the crippling anxiety of being seen weighed her down to her couch like an anchor. She could've asked Parker before she sent him home to his apartment, but sending her bodyguard out on personal errands felt like a step too close to delusion. She'd rather die than become the type of 'celebrity' that couldn't even lace their own sneaker.The feeling of lonesomeness that infected her heart was bittersweet, the only indication that maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't feel like she had to hide anymore sometime soon. Months ago, she would've rejoiced at the permanent state of silence that echoed off the walls of her apartment, she would've thrived each time she walked past the never lively guest bedrooms, pranced weightlessly through the abandoned halls that had only ever seen the faces of her security team. Months ago, she had still been grieving the new reality she lived in, but now she grieved the social life that had died with her mother.In a desperate attempt to fill the apartment with sound, Emma had turned on one of her favorite movies, a film that had always brought lightness over her heavy heart, but even Sophie and Donna couldn't bring a smile to her lips as they frolicked around a breathtaking island that she'd always wanted to visit. It had been three weeks since she'd seen anyone other than Parker, and he only ever stopped by when she went out for a morning run and stopped by the local farmers market to analyze bouquets of flowers like a critic on her way back home. She wasn't sure when her life had become so boring, but at twenty-one years old she lived like a societal recluse. She wouldn't say her life had ended when she was seventeen years old, that would be admitting that the one thing her mother was terrified of had happened, but she couldn't lie and say she'd felt alive since then.When her phone buzzed on the arm of the couch, just inches away from where her body was curled up beneath a fluffy throw blanket, Emma sighed softly as she recognized the name attached to the notification; just another reminder of what she had let fall apart.
Zealand
think i'm going to be in nyc new years week
for a shoot. did you ever end up renting that
apartment on franklin street?
Zealand Foster had been Emma's very best friend since she'd moved to a small town in Hawaii when she was ten years old. They'd been inseparable throughout their childhoods and early teenage years, practically siblings if you overlooked their contrasting features, but when Emma started booking more work out in Hollywood and was gone for more months out of the year than she was home, Zealand remained in the small public high school that she hadn't even ever stepped foot in. They made it work, that was practically their slogan at the time, but it came with its challenges like any long distance relationship did. Emma would go home to visit during the months between projects, and Zealand would fly out to stay with her in Los Angeles during his allotted summer breaks. Eventually they'd created a small circle of friends that had made anything fun, but it all fell apart when Elizabeth Collins died. Emma wasn't proud of the way she had practically ghosted everyone she loved following the tragedy; including her co-star Cassidy, which definitely made filming awkward, but it had been the only way a terrified seventeen year old with no immediate family had known how to cope at the time.Zealand had taken it the best he could, but he was only eighteen years old at the time and had rightfully felt abandoned. He reached out everyday in the first few months, but when his texts and calls kept going unanswered for weeks at a time, even he had turned his back on her; not that Emma would ever blame him for allowing her to slip away. They spoke occasionally now, but nothing would entirely restore what had been damaged.
Emma
i got one on reade, it's right around the corner!
you're more than welcome to stay here
while you're working.
Emma
i miss you!
Zealandi was more than happy to giveyou space, but i can't say i haven'tmissed you like fucking crazy.
Zealand
henry's been absolutely insufferable
since he broke up with jacob.
Zealand
i'd love to stay with you though. you'll
be in town right? i refuse to stay at
another one of your haunted houses by
myself again
Emma laughed fondly at the memory that played in her head at Zealand's mention. She'd given him the code to her apartment in Atlanta when he found himself stranded in the state of Georgia after a cancelled connecting flight the year prior, and everything that could've possibly gone wrong had done just that. She hadn't been in the state at the time, rather away on business in Vancouver, but she'd gotten a very lengthy synopsis of his stay.The thought of seeing him again hurt. They hadn't been together since a month before Elizabeth's passing, and as much as Emma tried to forgot about how her mother had always loved him, she never could. Everything about Zealand reminded her of what she would never have again, but she was willing to at least try and rebuild bridges if it meant curing the agonizing ache in her heart.
Emma
i'll be here!
Zealand
then yes, i'd love to stay with you.
i'll let you know the dates and details
when i get them. love you em, see you in
january!
Emma
see you then!
Emma sighed lugubriously when Zealand didn't text again, not that she'd really expected him to. Their conversations were always straight to the point now, very rarely divulging anything personal, but at least this was a step in the right direction, or at least, what Emma hoped was the right direction. She was full-heartedly clinging to the faintest sliver of hope that there would be a place for him in this new chapter of her life, but the fact that after four entire years, even the thought of seeing him still stirred up feelings tethered to anger and grief said that maybe she'd never fully mesh with him again, and they really would become strangers who wore the same scars across their hearts.Another ten minutes passed agonizingly slow before Emma decided that Mamma Mia just wasn't going to do it for her no matter how long she stared at the television for, so she decided that the next best thing — the thing she should've just done in the first place — would be to text Taylor. The musician had gotten back in from Texas a few days prior, and had been laying low in her Franklin Street apartment since. Emma's heart broke for her, but Taylor still managed to smile at least once most days, and that's what she chose to hold onto.It wasn't hard to find Taylor's name in her contact list, because despite being eight hundred and seventy miles apart (yes, Taylor did look it up one night on FaceTime) they'd been talking near constantly since early July; doing absolutely anything they could to feel less alone in this sequestered era of life. Emma didn't hesitate to click on their text chain, a genuine smile growing across her lips when she scrolled through their conversation from that very morning when she'd actually gotten out of bed before daybreak to go for a run. She always did feel more productive when she got outside and bought some flowers for the apartment, but it had felt impossible to do anything besides survive in weeks.
Taylor
Did you really walk past my apartment
to give Greg flowers and not come in?
[ read at 07:10am ]
Emma
what flowers?
Taylor
You're the only one who knows
that I'm back in New York, Emma!
Taylor
Either they're from you or I've got
another stalker situation to deal with
[ read at 07:13am ]
Emma
oh god, no, they're from me! not a
stalker i promise!
Taylor
I know! I checked the cameras,
you goof.
Taylor
Thank you. They're beautiful!
[ read at 07:18am ]
Emma
having bright flowers around the
house always makes it feel more lively. i figured
you could use some light right now
Emma
do you wanna know what the florist told me
they symbolize? she always tells me the most
random facts that i usually just forget about,
but i couldn't do that this time
Taylor
Are you gonna tell me that spiders
like to live in them or something? Should
I be worried that you've just infested my
apartment with bugs?
[ read at 07:21am ]
Emma
i'm going to ignore that you brought up
spiders when you KNOW i hate them
Emmano, they're gerbera daises! they representinnocence, happiness, and new beginnings.Emmai know how hard it is when the mediadecides you're the easiest target to shoot, but you know and i know what's actually true. it's silly, but i just thought they were perfect when i heard that
Taylor
It's not silly. They're perfect Emma,
seriously. Thank you ❤️
[ read at 07:36am ]
Emma hadn't responded after that, having practically gone radio silent aside from the email she'd sent back to her manager regarding re-shoots in December. She'd gotten sidetracked with a list of chores that hadn't been seen to since February, and had spent the remainder of the day sulking around the apartment, three hours of which were spent meticulously cleaning the two guest bedrooms that had never seen a legitimate use. She'd hoped that fixing the bedding and adding floral arrangements to the windowsills would liven up the space and therefore her attitude, but all it had accomplished was wasting time.A delicate smile pulled at the corners of Emma's lips as she typed out a new message, one that would hopefully end with Taylor coming over for the night. They hadn't gotten to see each other since she'd been back in town, and while they talked every day, she yearned for the security that came with physicality. The blonde was unlike anyone she'd ever known, and like an addict, she found herself craving the sparing moments they stole together at any opportunity. It felt nice to have a friend again.
Emma
do you have cookie dough?
Taylor
What? No?
Emma
do you have flour?
Taylor
Yes?
Emma
will you come have a sleepover and
bake cookies with me?
Taylor
I'll be there in 10!
Emma laughed like a child at Taylor's enthusiasm, the heavy weight in her chest dissipating like it hadn't plagued her for days. She'd come to memorize the subtle tells of emotion in the musicians messages, a necessary skill with the majority of their conversations happening over text, and it was incredibly relieving to see that she wasn't the only one in need of some company and baked goods. There was no good reason for her to be so anxious, but that had been the mood she'd woken up in and was otherwise unable to shake since. Even with the reassurance of Taylor's eagerness, Emma found herself straightening up the living room frantically. She'd spent her day cleaning fastidiously, yet she buzzed around the living room straightening out throw pillows and assuring that each and every picture frame hanging on the wall was perfectly center. She knew she was being ridiculous, but at the very least it passed the time until Taylor arrived.Emma had only just brought her half-full glass of water into the kitchen when three soft taps announced the presence of a guest. A smile graced her seemingly permanent downturned lips for the third time in twenty minutes, her heart fluttering in warm anticipation. She couldn't get the front door open fast enough, the amount of deadbolts that locked her in had never felt so overkill, but when the last one had been twisted and the handle had been yanked at a ferocious speed arguably faster than light, there wasn't a single second that passed before she completely ambushed Taylor — or who she seriously hoped was Taylor because Emma definitely did not take the time to make sure — with a bone crushing hug that said more than any spoken words could've.The woman just beyond the threshold of the apartment didn't hesitate to hug back with the same desperation. The years spent playing guitar and being upheld to bi-weekly stamina workouts had meticulously toned the muscles in Taylor's biceps to something soft but so comforting, and the tight embrace that captured her waist and heart in tandem healed what she thought nothing could. Emma only pulled away when Taylor started laughing, the hands that splayed against her lower back becoming a softer presence with every jolt of the woman's shoulders."Are you laughing at me?" Emma pouted, her hands settling on her hips now that they weren't laced tightly around Taylor's neck.Taylor shrugged amusedly, her lips stained pink from red lipstick she'd attempted to scrub off hours prior. Even when she wasn't going out, hiding from the world and the media in her Franklin Street apartment, the meetings never fully stopped, Emma could assume she'd had at least three by the state of her makeup stained face and frizzy hair. "You're cute." Taylor defended her laughter teasingly, her own heart lighter than it had been in days now that she was with Emma. It was terrifying how just being with the woman could instill peace over her deteriorating body and mind."I missed you." Emma whispered pensively, her indigo eyes wide and teary, filled with a kaleidoscope of emotions that even Taylor couldn't unscramble entirely. "Margot emailed me the re-shoot schedule today, they extended my calls by almost a week. Which is fine, but they pushed it to December instead of January and—" Emma sighed abruptly, cutting herself off like she had a habit of doing whenever she was overwhelmed, instead dragging her hands down her face, frustration the only clear emotion in her wild blue eyes. "I've really needed a hug since like ten this morning." She admitted softly, shoulders sinking in defeat that was not easily accepted. Emma faced life like she was invincible; Taylor absolutely hated it."Well, I can give as many hugs as needed. I promise I won't laugh this time." The musician amended delicately, her sapphire eyes soft beneath the glow of yellow-toned hallway lighting, still standing just beyond the threshold of the apartment, having not yet been invited inside by the actress who gazed at her tenderly."You should've brought the kitties." Emma frowned, taking note of the fact that Taylor had brought only herself and a backpack over for their sleepover. They'd been friends for nearly nine months and she'd yet to meet the two felines who had an entire fanbase of their own; that was absolutely ridiculous in Emma's opinion, but she supposed it was no stranger than her own fans having a parasocial attachment to her very rarely driven Jeep.Taylor laughed softly at the sadly whispered comment. She gently shoved Emma back a few steps so that she could actually enter the apartment and leave the echoey hallway behind her until tomorrow when she inevitably had to trudge back through it. The younger blonde flushed a sweet shade of pink when she realized they'd been loitering in her doorway the entire time, mumbling a soft apology that wasn't needed as she closed the door and locked the five deadbolts — yeah, they were definitely overkill."Do you have plans tomorrow?" Taylor quizzed impishly, eyes twinkling as they took in Emma's casual appearance, reminiscent of the first night they'd spent together in the actresses Pacific Palisades property. It was truly puzzling how July could feel like it had been only yesterday and simultaneously a few hundred moon cycles ago. Taylor would never forget how the waning crescent moon reflected off of Emma's eyes when they fell into bed after midnight, laughter and rushing blood from adrenaline still vibrant in her memory when she thought back on that night.Emma shook her head hesitantly, soft lips pulled downward into a quizzical pout as she tried to figure out Taylor's scheme. "No.""I think it's about time Meredith terrorizes somebody new." Taylor enlightened, her gemstone colored eyes wide with anticipation. She hadn't wanted to see anybody upon returning to the city, hence why Emma had been the only one to know her whereabouts, but now that she had the blonde close enough to touch, she wanted to drown herself in the company that had never felt stiff. The world may hate her, but Emma was her own solar system."I'd love to be terrorized by your daughter. I'll even bring over my own bandaids!" Emma giggled that melodious laugh that sparked flames in Taylor's heart each time she heard it. She wondered when Emma would become just another friend that she adored, not something derived of solid gold and sunshine, but it seemed there was no diminishing her to everyone else. Emma would always be an angel amongst men, and while it horrified Taylor beyond belief to be so infatuated with someone so intensely, she allowed the current to sweep her beneath the riptide and drag her miles away from the coast where sanity built sandcastles.There was something so sweet about Emma referring to Meredith as her daughter. For so long she'd surrounded herself with people that saw her cats as average pets — whether it be her manager or even her own parents — but Emma understood that in the line of work they conformed to, you need to hold something personal on a pedestal to feel human at the end of the day when the cameras stop rolling and all that remained were your most hated attributes. Nobody was willing to understand her on that level, she couldn't fault them for not understanding when their lives were so normal, but the select few that did have a foot in the limelight had children and long-term spouses to crawl home to at the end of the night. Taylor felt like an anomaly at times, like she was cursed to be nothing of significance to anyone that mattered, but she had her cats, and that had to be good enough. Still, a smile that felt almost foreign pulled at her stained lips, and she found herself laughing along with Emma lightly, "I have bandaids!" She exclaimed amusedly."Yeah, but I guarantee mine are prettier! My publicist deemed me her most accident prone client and started sending me different kinds of bandaids every year for my birthday. I'll never run out!" Emma tried to explain through giggles, her cheeks a flush shade of pink that only made the depths of endless blue in her eyes more vibrant. "Why are you looking at me like that?!" Emma laughed shyly when she realized Taylor was gazing at her like she was the physical embodiment of the Mona Lisa, sapphire eyes transfixed on hers. She poked the musicians cheek softly with her finger, although it was more appropriate to call it an icicle.Taylor's nose scrunched up endearingly as she flinched away from the frozen digit, her own fingers warm from the time they'd spent inside her sweatshirt pockets wrapping around Emma's hand, attempting to bring back any ounce of heat. "Why are you so cold?!" The musician laughed softly, squeezing Emma's fingers tightly in her grasp.Sheepishly, Emma shrugged her shoulders up to her ears, making herself small beneath Taylor's gentle gaze, refusing to look up from her polka-dot sock clad feet to meet the eye of the woman in front of her. "Do you want me to lie and say I have horrible blood circulation, or do you want to hear about how stupid my brain is sometimes? Because I'm fully aware of how ridiculous I'm being.""I'd like you to be honest with me, but if you need to lie to me until you're ready to talk about it, I'll pretend like I believe you." Taylor's tone was forbearing, all encompassing of who she truly was despite the media's current narrative. Her lips that had never bared so much as a snarl in Emma's direction curved upward gingerly, paired with an encouraging tug of the hand that guided the actress into her tender embrace. She held the younger woman's chin between two soft fingers, allowing their water colored eyes to dance on an abandoned ballroom floor made of diamonds, everything trivial falling away for sometime later on.Emma sighed tiresomely, sinking into the gentle pressure of Taylor's touch on her face and fingers. She'd never looked so fragile, but beside the moonlight and beneath the spotlight of Taylor's attention, it seemed that even the chilled breeze of far off winter could shatter her weary bones. "I've spent the last four years avoiding every connection to my Mum — my friends, the roads we used to take on the way to her chemo appointments. She adored my friend Zealand. He'd basically become her honorary son. He wants to stay with me when he's in town for work— but I just— I don't think I can handle that, Taylor. I know he means well, he's always meant well, but I'm not who he wants me to be anymore. My entire life changed when I was seventeen years old, that's not his fault, it's not my fault, but I think— I don't know what I think! I just know that if I see him, if I reopen that part of my life, it's going to bring up so much shit that I've spent four years trying to heal from. How do I tell the one person that's been through everything with me, that it hurts too much to be around them? Just— Just talking to him today had me spiraling." Emma whimpered pitifully, tears glimmering in her indigo eyes as she stared into Taylor's, desperate for something she couldn't name."Hey. Come here." Taylor cooed softly, drawing Emma closer into her embrace until their chests were flush together, just two beating hearts in unimaginable pain. She cradled the actresses head tenderly, her other hand splayed across her lower back, thumb rubbing soothing patterns across flush skin. "You're okay. It's okay to want to move on. It's okay to resent him; to still love him but need to let him go, especially if he won't let you move on. But, whatever happens, Emmy, I'll be here for you. On your worst day, and every day before and after that."Emma laughed tearfully at the words that Taylor had left to hang in the air, a watery smile on her lips as she sniffled back agonizing sobs. She clung to the woman's sweatshirt desperately, unwilling to let go just yet and lose the only ounce of comfort she had. Taylor didn't mind the attachment, and truthfully she didn't want to let go either, not until she knew that Emma would be okay, even if it took hours. Her hand still held the back of the actresses head, soft blonde hair beneath her fingers scarred from unruly guitar strings. "I'm going to know when I die. I'm going to wake up one day and I'm going to know it's my last. I want you to ask me when the worst day of my life was, and than I want you to ask me when the best day was. I want to die knowing that I survived."Taylor laughed softly at the strange request, her nails scratching along the exposed length Emma's spine mindlessly. "What if I die before you?" She teased lightly, accepting that Emma didn't want to talk about her grief anymore. They'd revisit it another time, or never again, Taylor was more than happy to give her that choice.Emma shook her head adamantly, indigo eyes peaking out from their hiding place at the jested insinuation of Taylor's death being before hers. "You're not allowed to die before me. I'll allow you to die the day after though." She hummed thoughtfully.Taylor feigned a dramatic gasp, her blue eyes lively beside the waning crescent moon just beyond the window. "You'll allow it?" Her fingers attacked Emma's waist in quick motions, provoking loud laughter from the younger blonde who attempted to squirm away from the ticklish assault. "Huh, what was that? Say it again!" She teased relentlessly, yet all Emma could manage were shrieks of laughter and barely coherent pleas for mercy.At one point, Emma had managed to break away from Taylor's tight grip only to be pulled right back in, her mildly humiliating breakdown long forgotten as she laughed and gasped for air, a boisterous shriek of the musicians name the only word she could find on the tip of her tongue as she was tickled relentlessly. "Tay!""I missed you." Taylor sighed whimsically, finally relenting on her assault, exchanging the touch for something gentle and easy. She squeezed Emma obnoxiously tight, earning giggles from the blonde who returned the strength of the embrace with everything she could manage. "Also, I'm not entirely sure my clothes aren't covered in flour. The bag I had was already open." She added, a slight shrug of uncertainty following the admission, much to Emma's amusement.Much to Taylor's relief, when she unzipped the backpack and braved a quick glance inside, there hadn't been anymore flour than expected spilled on her clothes for the next day. The paper bag had remained in its upright position, held in place by a carelessly folded t-shirt that she had gotten somewhere random in Arlington, Texas one of the first times she'd toured. She was unsure how it managed to survive multiple cross-country moves and an outrageous number of closet purges, but it had, and very faintly could she remember how Austin had purchased the same one and they'd worn them together during rehearsals. It was all but forgotten that in that same week, she'd had her heart broken and practically trampled on, but she'd long since accepted that nostalgia worked in weird ways.Emma had been ecstatic when the bag of flour was retrieved and handed over with a satisfied grin of victory from the older blonde. She'd taken it into her hands with eager willingness, practically bouncing off the walls of her quaint and cozy apartment as she spun on her polka-dot sock clad heels and made an abrupt getaway into the kitchen, her soft laughter becoming a trail for Taylor to chase with lightly felt amusement squeezing her heart.They baked in comfortable silence, gentle hums and even softer mumbles the only presence of sound that they allowed to surround them as the night sky grew later and darker just beyond the windowsill adorned with only a vase of vibrant tulips and a starfish shaped jewelry dish with nothing thrown inside. It was odd, but neither woman minded. They'd spent so much of their lives filling silence and forcing laughter for the sake of appearances, but that wasn't needed in the tender moments that passed by them. Emma had become the mixer of the dough, while Taylor measured out the ingredients without needing to be asked. They worked in tandem, like they'd been doing it for years.The silence was only broken when Emma dropped the dirty utensils into the deep stainless steel kitchen sink, startling Taylor who'd taken the baking sheet toward the over seconds prior. She grinned sheepishly at the blonde musician when she heard the shriek of surprise that had followed the sharp clattering of silicone and porcelain colliding with metal, a flush of inauthentic guilt tinting her cheeks. "Whoops." Emma giggled, shrugging her shoulders up to her ears as she stood beneath Taylor's dramatic glare of annoyance. "Sorry?" She continued to giggle, tiny hands attempting to conceal the shit-eating grin forming on her lips."If I would've dropped the cookies you would've been pissed!" Taylor exclaimed, only just closing the oven door now that her body had decided to start working again, the shock subsiding and being replaced with warm fondness. Emma looked awfully cute standing beside the tulips all different hues of pink and orange, a guilty expression painted across her features like Picasso had vandalized her in secret."No! I would've made you remake the dough by yourself while I found a movie to watch. Cookie droppers don't get a say." Emma rebutted cheekily, a shimmy in her stationary step as she grinned in Taylor's direction like a child, indigo eyes bright and glimmering."It would've been your fault!" Taylor laughed amusedly, her eyes portraying the extent of her happiness with the assistance of late October moonlight that refracted sequined stars off of her precious gemstones. "I was thinking..." She trailed off eventually, nervousness creeping through her bones as she awaited Emma's reaction to her self conspired plan.Emma hummed patiently, head tilting curiously to the side as she trailed her watercolor gaze over Taylor's slowly shrinking form. "What were you thinking?" She implored sweetly, providing a soft place for the question to land once it fell off the tip of the musicians tied tongue."You can say no. I want to make that clear before I suggest anything." Taylor spoke softly, carefully. Her eyes watched cautiously for Emma's reaction, something that did not go unnoticed by the actress who merely nodded encouragingly, her expression neutral. "But, I was thinking that tomorrow, you might want to get lunch with me. At an actual restaurant, that is.""Oh." Emma's eyebrows furrowed at the nervously proposed suggestion from the musician. She'd been contemplating the stance of her future for months, she'd brought it up to Taylor on multiple occasions, but it suddenly felt very daunting to consider that the end of her chosen seclusion was in sight. Almost too real.Having not been entirely deterred by Emma's reaction like she'd irrationally anticipated being, Taylor continued on, nerves dissipating as she smiled softly at the softer blonde haired woman. "I need some ounce of normalcy. I'm not— I don't want to be seen. That's not what I was implying. That's your choice to make when you're ready. But, I know this little restaurant on Church, and I've had the staff sign NDA's that should still be in effect. They have a private room for large parties, but I can have my publicist make a call and reserve it for us. So, lunch?"A genuine smile broke across Emma's lips as she listened to Taylor's nervous rambling, her head nodding in acceptance before her brain could find the words to agree. "Lunch sounds lovely. If we're being honest about normalcy, I haven't been to a restaurant since I was eighteen. Isn't that absurd?" Emma laughed softly, although the weight of her admission was anything but amusing. It was heartbreaking, and yet the cruel reality of surviving beneath the microscope of stardom."That's depressing, Em." Taylor laughed softly, having long since abandoned her gentle reassurances when it came to Emma's heavy one-off comments. The blonde appreciated her honesty, god knows her publicist still tried to normalize her situation in some kind of well-intended pity. It was slightly infuriating, but Amelia undoubtably had her best interest at heart. Plus, she was paid a generous amount each year to keep the actress happy, telling her that she was seriously deranged would be a major overstep professionally, no matter how true the statement was.Emma giggled softly, although there wasn't an ounce of amusement behind her shinning eyes. "God, I know. I know! It was what I needed for a long time, maybe it's still what I need, but I would definitely like to go to lunch tomorrow. I need to start somewhere, otherwise I'll stay locked away until I'm eighty and I stop getting cast because all my hairs fallen out and I've become wrinkled like a... like a raisin!" She exclaimed, sparks of joy flickering behind indigo eyes once more.Taylor chuckled, shaking her head in merriment. "Has anyone ever told you that you're incredibly dramatic?" She inquired teasingly, a single eyebrow raised sarcastic question."It's come up once or twice. Personally, I just don't see it!" Emma scoffed jestingly, her nose, dusted with the faintest kiss of freckles, scrunching adorably as she waved off the observation."So, lunch tomorrow, and then a sleepover at my place. I leave for LA the next day, but I'll be back before Halloween. I haven't carved pumpkins in a couple of years, we can do that the thirtieth?" Taylor inquired nonchalantly, racking her brain for festive activities that could accommodate their chosen isolation.Emma smirked tauntingly, leaning back against the sink as she mindlessly fiddled with the dishrag she'd grabbed off the countertop in the midst of Taylor's muttering. "Planning in advance, are we?""You've been home for three weeks and only just asked me to hang out! I'm taking initiative!" Taylor exclaimed, though there was no hint of malice in her loudly proclaimed excuse, yet Emma still found herself shuffling guiltily in place."Yeah." She chuckled softly, blue eyes dropping to the hardwood floor with a sudden interest in the light brown shade. "In my defense, I practically slept the entire first week. Then I just didn't want to bother you. You needed time to process everything without feeling like you had to put up a happy front. And you would've, Tay. I know you. I know that you would've tried to seem perfectly put together even though your entire world is falling apart. That's okay. It's okay that you were going through something. It's okay that you still are going through something. I haven't done this whole having friend's thing in a while, I just didn't want to mess it up.""You could never mess this up, Emmy." Taylor amended the completely outrageous thought, in total disbelief that Emma could ever think that was even a possibility. She was fairly certain that the actress could do absolutely anything and she'd still be forgiven without hesitation. That was a horrifying thought, but one the musician didn't dwell on. "I did need space though. I still missed you, even though I wasn't ready to face anyone besides Tree. It's not— It hasn't gotten any easier, but I've spent enough time alone in my apartment. I'm really glad that you texted me tonight. If you didn't, I probably would've cried myself to sleep with Olivia."Emma frowned at the mention of the white and gray Scottish-Fold that remained only a few blocks away in Taylor's apartment, most likely wreaking havoc with Meredith somewhere that the blonde didn't want them being. "You're thinking about the cats, aren't you?" Taylor laughed upon seeing Emma's downturned expression, her own smile wide and intoxicating.Emma nodded, eyes wide as she looked back up at Taylor, pout on full display now. "You should've brought them. I would've been all for a good cry with kitties.""You're impossible!" Taylor laughed blissfully, shaking her head fondly as she took in Emma's gentle appearance, the actresses slim frame complimented by the boxer short style pajama bottoms and crop-top she wore. The shorts were the color of raspberry sherbet, and they so perfectly complimented her smooth complexion in the dim lighting. "You can cry with them tomorrow! I'll even supply ice cream to make it a proper teenage meltdown.""Do you have sprinkles?" Emma's eyes sparkled with childlike wonder, and although she was definitely poking fun at the blonde, Taylor made a mental note to ask her very rarely used assistant to pick some up from the grocery store anyways."I do." She hummed whimsically, craning her neck to peer into the oven through the tinted glass, a content smile pulling at her lips as she figured the cookies should be cooked enough to take out. A midnight conversation had informed her that both she and Emma liked underdone cookies, a fact that she hadn't forgotten despite the delirium that had been present in that moment.Taylor took the cookies out of the oven while Emma poured them both glasses of milk, claiming that it was the only way to truly enjoy the midnight treats. They didn't bother bringing the sweets into the living room, rather, they stood over the countertop like teenagers, stealing cookies that the other was very obviously ogling. Or more accurately, Taylor was stealing all of the cookies that Emma very clearly wanted, the younger blonde was just trying her best to not burn her tongue while swatting at Taylor's hands. They'd left a couple to be eaten in the morning, because there was absolutely nothing wrong with having chocolate chip cookies for breakfast every once in a while, before they migrated into the living room where Emma cashed in on the earlier spoken promise of receiving as many hugs as was needed.She cuddled in close to Taylor side, head falling onto the blonde's shoulder as they scrolled through her subscription services, attempting to find a movie that could fit their similar attitudes. They didn't want something sad, they'd cried enough, but they didn't want anything overtly happy either, that would only force them to dwell on how their lives were currently falling apart. Eventually, after many, many, contenders, they settled on the first Princess Diaries movie, and Taylor spared no joke about Emma's faint, and often times forgotten about, accent throughout it. At some point, they'd both sent texts to their publicists, the musician inquiring about NDA's and reservations, while the actress extended a warning of potentially needing damage control in the event that their plan of stolen moments was foiled by the always lurking vultures. Neither heard back right away, though that hadn't been expected. Instead, they left the worries of logistics for daybreak, and settled contently into the plush couch with Emma's favored blanket thrown overtop of them.It was almost three in the morning when they fell asleep, tangled together on the couch, phones left unplugged on the coffee table that was adorned with a vase of daffodils and a stack of books Emma had read since returning home. At some point, the television turned off entirely, drenching the room in darkness that only deepened the sleep they had fallen into. Taylor held onto Emma tightly, the blonde practically on top of her as they shifted throughout the many hours of unconscious night, both of them content and as comfortable as could be when attempting to sleep on a couch.At nine in the morning, with sunlight streaming in through the open blinds that hadn't been closed the night prior, Emma was roused awake by her phone ringing on the coffee table, the ringtone she set for her publicist alone echoing through the otherwise silent apartment. With her eyes still closed, not ready to accept that her night had ended far too soon, she reached for the device blindly and clumsily. She didn't shift away from Taylor's embrace, the woman practically dead to the world with one hand around the blondes waist and the other thrown over her eyes, unconsciously blocking out the sunlight that would've woken Emma sooner or later. She was lucky she even got the hours that she did, always unable to remain asleep whenever she was anywhere besides a bed.Assuming it was Amelia calling about her admittedly cryptic damage control message, Emma didn't bother checking the caller ID before she pulled the phone up to her ear and mumbled a very sleepy, "Hello."It was not Amelia on the other end of the line, that would've been far too easy. Instead, it was a woman that Emma didn't recognize, and who seemed to be equally as confused as she was, although the woman's tone was dry and admittedly rather intimidating for it being so early in the morning. "Um, hello? May I ask where you found this phone?"Emma pulled the phone away from her ear, eyes scanning the caller identification, which she should've done in the first place. A grimace graced her lips as she realized that it wasn't her phone that she had grabbed, it was Taylor's, and while it was a publicist, it wasn't hers. "Fuck." Emma mumbled beneath her breath as she sat up on the couch, effectively waking Taylor who attempted to gain back the warmth and pressure she was suddenly missing. "Um, hi. Sorry, I'm Emma." She mumbled into the line, her fingers gently grabbing at Taylor's hand as the blonde continued to reach for her sleepily. "Tay, wake up. Sorry, she's still asleep. Taylor, I need you to wake up." She softly brushed the flyaways that fell over Taylor's eyes away, her hands cold despite the blanket and body they'd been tucked between for hours. As adorable as the blonde looked so contently snuggled into her couch and blanket, she really needed her awake now. "Taylor.""I'm sleeping, Em." The blonde whined her protest, attempting to curl away from the sun and Emma's cold hands on her face for at least another hour more. She would say she was too old to be staying up so late and waking up so early, but that would've been entirely a lie.Emma did not appreciate that answer, no matter how cute it was. She continued to gently stroke Taylor's cheek, not wanting to wake her unkindly, but understandably frantic as she held the mistaken phone to her ear and hoped to god the woman on the other end of the line wasn't filing a police report for theft. "No, you're talking to Tree." She spoke sternly, albeit still with that soft nature that never really left her tone.Taylor's eyes shot open at the name that fell off of Emma's lips, suddenly wide awake as she blinked her eyes open repetitively. "Tree?" She questioned, sitting up on the couch once she was no longer blinded by the harsh intrusion of light."We have the same ringtone." Emma admitted sheepishly, much to the amusement of the publicist on the other end of the phone, although her prolonged silence didn't give that fact away.Taylor managed a small smile, clearly still trying to wake herself up as she silently reached for the phone and laid her head down on Emma's shoulder, eyes already fluttering closed again, though she did start moving her mouth once the phone was up to her ear. At least she wasn't actively trying to sleep again. "Sorry, we put our phones down in the same place. Your call woke us."Emma didn't attempt to listen in on whatever Tree was saying on the other end of the phone, instead, she busied herself with Taylor's fallen hair, softly combing her fingers through the frizzy locks of blonde as she fully adjusted to the crisp sunlight. She could already tell it was going to be a beautiful day, but the endless abyss of blue was incredibly deceitful. It wouldn't reach a temperature higher than the mid-fifties, and even then it was going to be unbearably windy."Yes." Taylor replied to whatever her publicist was saying, humming softly when Emma's fingers scratched along her scalp soothingly. "No, not publicly, hence the NDA's." There was silence again as Tree said something else to Taylor, who had finally opened her sapphire eyes and set gaze on the blank television screen, not really looking at anything in particular. "Em?" She called out softly, lifting her head so their eyes could meet beneath the daylight, a soft smile of affectionate greeting slipping onto her lips, which Emma returned without hesitation."Hm?" The blonde hummed, pulling the blanket fully off of Taylor's body and drowning herself with it instead. The musician didn't protest despite the unconscious shiver that crawled up her spine. The cold would wake her up, even if she desperately wanted to fall back asleep with Emma."You okay with me telling Tree who you are?" The musician checked in thoughtfully, because although it wasn't a truly important detail for the current situation, it still mattered to Taylor that she respected Emma's boundaries with who was aware of her whereabouts and relationships. It would be helpful in the long run for Tree to familiarize herself with the English-American, god forbid the vultures caught wind of their connection at some point."Oh, yeah. You didn't have to ask." Emma nodded her explicit permission, a grateful smile pulling at her lips in the face of Taylor's consideration. Wanting to be closer despite their already unconventional position — Taylor's legs sprawled out on the couch with Emma's body settled over them rather uncomfortably — she leaned into the blonde's chest, closing her eyes as she tried to focus on the faint heartbeat she pressed her ear against."Emma Collins." Taylor hummed to her publicist, her fingers trailing across Emma's thighs absentmindedly, tracing stars and circles. "No." She answered a question Emma couldn't hear firmly. It was quiet for another beat before Taylor spoke again, "Yeah, I texted Greg last night. He's gonna pick us up through the back exit, we're gonna go in through the side. There shouldn't be any need for damage control. I'll let you know though. Okay, thank you, Tree. Bye."Emma looked up at the blonde through long lashes when the cellphone was thrown back onto the coffee table carelessly, landing with a semi-concerning thunk as the musician sank backwards into the couch, pulling the actress down with her.Emma fiddled with Taylor's necklaces, the dainty silver chains cold between her fingertips. "Sorry I answered. My eyes were closed and I just recognized the ringtone." She apologized softly, eyes transfixed on the woman's jawline."S'okay. I didn't even hear it go off." Taylor's response was slurred together by an adorable yawn, her hands holding tighter to Emma instinctively. "Tree says the NDA's apply to you as well, which I knew, but I figured it would give you some peace of mind to actually hear. Everyone staffed is under legal obligation to keep anything they see or hear to themselves. You know how NDA's work, sorry, I'm still half-asleep." The blonde rambled sleepily, which Emma found to be the cutest thing ever.Emma laughed softly, settling against Taylor's chest fully now. "I was going to come no matter what the NDA's said. I'm not ready to throw everything I've built in these last four years away, but I do think that I'm at a place where I don't care as much anymore. Especially if it means I get to have lunch with you at an actual restaurant!" Emma smiled softly, aware of how Taylor was sneaking glances at her through half-open eyes. She didn't mind, willing to ignore it for the woman's sake as she continued on. "It's kind of pathetic how excited I am for that. Do you think they have strawberry lemonade? That was always my favorite, I haven't had it in a while."Taylor laughed fondly, squeezing Emma tighter as she listened to the excited rambles that fell off of the actresses tongue. She was half asleep minutes ago, but somehow it didn't surprise Taylor that she could wake herself up so quickly. "I'm sure they do."Content with Taylor's positivity, they remained on the couch for another handful of peaceful minutes, taking advantage of the comfortable silence that fell over top of their still tired bodies as sunlight slowly began to warm the room and tinge it gold beneath it's recent rise. An iridescent glow painted the far wall of the living room with gentle vibrancy, the crystal sun-catcher Emma had hung in the far left window reflecting the uncovered rays of daylight. Their sanctuary only existed for another twenty minutes before that same ringtone shattered the found serenity. This time, it was Emma's phone, and it was her publicist calling.Taylor laughed amusedly, sitting upright on the couch, more than ready to actually begin her day now. "Can I shower while you take that?" She asked politely, not wanting to assume that the actress would be okay with her wandering around the apartment until she found the bathroom and towels.Emma nodded encouragingly at the proposition, one hand reaching for her cell phone when the other pointed toward a hallway that had yet to be explored by the musician. "Yeah, of course. You can use my bathroom, it has the best water pressure. It's the first door on your left, you can use anything you want. I already laid out towels for you, they're on the counter."Taylor nodded, leaving Emma to take the phone call while she grabbed her backpack from where it had been left behind the couch and followed the hallway to where the master bedroom had been identified. It was a room so distinctly Emma, that was the first thing Taylor noticed when she stepped into the room drenched in soft blue shades and oak accents. There were a few trinkets adorning similar oak shelving units, and while it was admittedly rather bare in comparison to some of her own design choices, Emma had never seemed like the type to flaunt her wealth nor take interest in physical possessions. The room was simple, as quaint as the living room and kitchen, yet it so eloquently encompassed the actresses easy-going personality.The bathroom carried the same minimalist essence as the bedroom, soft elements of light blues and oak browns incorporated throughout the otherwise colorless space. It was very high-end New York, an unfortunately unavoidable aesthetic despite the cultural touches that adorned building exteriors throughout the city. Taylor didn't dwell on the fine details, instead she stripped out of her worn-over pajamas and riffled through her backpack for the change of clothes that would hopefully fit the days weather. She'd lived in the city for just over two years, and still she found herself thrown by the unpredictable weather at times. She'd checked the twice forecast before leaving her own apartment, but that could only promise so much. As the musician stood beneath the shower head, allowing scalding water to temporarily tinge her ivory skin pink, she could faintly hear Emma pacing the expanse of the bedroom just behind the closed door.Another thirty minutes and a half-assed attempt at her skincare routine later, Taylor hadn't expected for Emma to be showered and dressed when she stepped out of the en-suit bathroom, but when she pulled open the door, her pajamas thrown into her backpack to be sorted and washed later on, she was met with the sight of the actress in a cozy waffle knit sweater and light washed jeans, her polka dot socks having been switched out for ones printed with pastel rainbows that had to have been purchased in the children's section of a random chain store. The sweater was cute, adorned with blue flowers that complimented her indigo eyes, drowning her torso entirely. She looked soft, but she always did."You look cute." Taylor commented softly, not wanting to startle the actress who hadn't noticed her presence just yet. Emma was propped up against the pillows on her bed, laptop open and pulled close to her lap, the screen brightness adjusted to full power if the bright glow across her naked face was any indication. It seemed they'd both forgone makeup for the day, truly hoping that they could successfully slip beneath the radar of the persistently lurking vultures and select lucky fans.Emma looked up from her device, bottom lip bitten between her teeth as she smiled softly, seemingly agitated. "Hi, I didn't hear you come out." She explained unnecessarily, but Taylor didn't miss how Emma closed her laptop immediately to rather focus all of her attention on the musician like she was the most important thing in the room. "I was trying to find a way to strangle Mandy through the screen. My plan was unsuccessful."Taylor laughed amusedly at that, tentatively allowing her body to sink into the edge of the bed, her hands widely gesturing to the laptop that remained on Emma's lap despite being closed now. "Mandy's the agent, Margot's the manager, Mia's the publicist, right?""Yeah." Emma sighed exasperatedly, a pout falling onto her lips as she glanced over at Taylor. The actress wiggled closer to the far side of the bed, patting the expanse of blankets between their bodies invitingly, unsure of why Taylor had chosen to sit so far away in the first place. "I'm not going to bite you, you're practically one sneeze away from falling off the bed." She giggled softly, more than pleased when Taylor shrugged the backpack off her shoulders and wiggled into her side instead, their heads pressed together as Emma reopened her laptop."You literally bit me last night. It's not impossible to believe you'd do it again." Taylor laughed softly, recalling how Emma had in fact bitten her in a childish attempt to defend her favorited cookies on the baking sheet. It hadn't gotten her anything besides a steady glare that was anything but intimidating, the one cookie she'd been trying to defend having already been in Taylor's possession and half eaten.Emma laughed loudly at that, her cheeks tinging a delicate shade of peach as she shrugged her faux innocence. "You stole all the cookies I wanted, and hitting your hand away wasn't working!""I know." Taylor cheekily stated, wiggling her eyebrows tauntingly. "You were so worried about burning your tongue, you made it so easy, Em! Anyways, what am I looking at?""Potential projects for the next year and a half. None of which I want." Emma sighed with an annoyed edge to her tone, something that was virtually impossible to provoke from the passive blonde, suggesting there was something else beneath the surface of her very vague explanation. "I'm not really in a creative headspace right now. I've had this conversation with Mandy."Taylor hummed thoughtfully, sapphire eyes scanning the emails that seemed endless as Emma scrolled through them distractedly. "You thinking about taking some time off after re-shoots?""The next season of Allure has already been picked up, and I've already signed the contract, but I am thinking about slowing down. I mean, I've gone from one project to another for the last nine years. I think I'm just ready to have some time for myself. Some actual time for myself." Emma sighed, her head falling onto Taylor's shoulder as she trashed the email entirely and closed her laptop. "What's Taylor Swift planning on doing with the next year and a half? I know what Taylor's doing.""Taylor Swift's going to release an album and pray that it's received well. Taylor might surprise you though, I hear she's quite spontaneous." The musician replied goofily, her smile wide and so painfully genuine that her cheeks ached in protest as she craned her neck to look at Emma, the woman's face flush with a soft smile.Emma hummed in interest, a shy blush spreading across the tips of her ears as she looked up at Taylor through thick blonde lashes. "Spontaneous enough to come to Atlanta with me?""Oh definitely. I hear her schedules pretty free." Taylor giggled, squeezing Emma tighter around the middle. "In all seriousness, I would love to come to Atlanta with you, Em. I've been meaning to head out there anyways to meet with a couple of producers. Would Emma Collins happen to have a couple free days where she could join me in the studio?""Emma Collins doesn't work weekends. I'm sure she could spare a couple hours of sleep to tag along." The actress giggled happily, the prospect of re-shoots not nearly as daunting now that she had Taylor's company to look forward to. "It'll be the first week and a half of December. I'm set to wrap the twelfth. Which means I'm completely free for your birthday. Did you have any idea about what you wanted to do?"Taylor shook her head softly, fingers tangling into the soft fabric of Emma's oversized sweater, she smiled when her knuckle brushed against the actresses belly and she shivered away instinctively. "I was thinking of keeping it pretty lowkey this year. I'm not really in the mood to throw a party. What are you doing for your birthday? I hear twenty-two's a big deal, there's even a song about it."Emma rolled her eyes fondly, grinning madly up at Taylor who matched the expression sincerely. The bad days didn't feel so bad when she had Emma to live them with. "I don't know. I haven't celebrated in a while. It's a hard day to celebrate, everyone's busy and I don't feel it's a big enough deal to ask anyone to take time away from their families to focus on me for a couple of hours. Mum and I used to go shopping. It never was anything extravagant."Taylor hummed softly, sapphire eyes kind and affectionate as they sought to meet indigo. "How about you spend Christmas with me in Nashville? Mom never really did learn how to make food for only four people, and it would be in Austin's best interest if we added another person to the table. He makes it his mission to finish the ham before he leaves town. I don't know if men ever fully outgrow the whole 'teenage boys will eat me out of house and home' thing, but for my sake, I hope it's coming soon."Emma's deep indigo eyes glistened with crystal tears as she looked back at Taylor intensely, unable to control the way her chin wobbled with emotion and made her out to be a fool. She didn't care either way. Nobody had invited her to Christmas, well, ever. It had been just her on her own since she was seventeen. "Ask your parents first. If they see no problem with my intrusion, then I would love to join you. I do expect to be woken up on the twenty-sixth to an acoustic rendition of '22' though. That's my deal breaker. Take it or leave it.""Well, I can definitely make that happen. Were we thinking keyboard or guitar for this rendition, both are incredible options." Taylor boasted teasingly, fingers digging into Emma's ribs with glee. The actress laughed, batting at the hand beneath her sweater as she attempted to squirm away."Your fingers are bloody freezing!" She exclaimed amusedly, successfully pulling them away from her skin when Taylor stopped resisting so hard. "Hm, I reckon the guitar would be nice. A proper serenade. Yes, we'll go with the guitar, it's been settled!""You're such a goof." Taylor laughed in amusement, shaking her head as she steadied her gaze on Emma's face, sapphire eyes tracing the soft dusting of freckles on the bridge of the actresses nose that could only be compared to an ethereal guide to discovering an undiscovered constellation beside the moon.The actress scoffed at the name bestowed upon her, shoving Taylor's head away from hers in playful protest. The blonde didn't bat an eye at the teasing assault she'd grown accustomed too despite having only seen Emma in person for less than a fourth of their friendship. "Have you come over only to insult me?" Emma exclaimed rather exasperatedly, though her blue eyes shined with wild amusement that couldn't be downplayed by even the best actress, "First I'm dramatic and now I'm a goof? You're ever the pleasant guest, Tay.""I haven't been asked to leave yet, so clearly I'm not the worst guest either." Taylor pushed back, a mischievous glint sparking to life behind her dazzling sapphire eyes, her tongue poking out in Emma's direction rather childishly, though it fit her well. The actress rolled her eyes fondly, attempting to conceal her wide smile with a forced scowl, but the front could only be upheld for so long.When Emma's front crumbled, replaced by an expression of utter admiration as she let her blue eyes lock on Taylor's, sweet laughter brightened up the master bedroom like sunshine after a gloomy week, and the musician couldn't help but to join in breathlessly, both women falling into the other as their pale faces grew flush and the muscles in their bellies pleaded for a break.They'd only just barely managed to collect themselves by the time that Greg arrived at the back exit of Emma's apartment complex, ready to drive them to lunch at exactly one in the afternoon like Taylor had asked. They'd been less flush faced, though persistently giggly, and the proof of their lingering good moods existed in the form of laughter bouncing off of the interior of the SUV as they teased each other relentlessly. Their banter was infectious, so much so that one point, Greg had cracked a smile in the drivers seat, though it was quickly scrubbed from his features and permanently written off before either woman could realize.When they arrived at the restaurant, an Australian themed cafe that Emma had passed a few hundred times during the collection of months that she'd been lived in TriBeCa, but had never stopped inside of for obvious reasons, she thanked Greg personally, offering the man a genuine smile and a sweet wave of farewell before being whisked inside the back exit by Taylor. She giggled excitedly as she laced her fingers with the blonde, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waited for a server to direct them toward the private room that the musician had reserved for their afternoon; well Tree had reserved it, but the sentiment was all the same.Taylor looked down at her fondly, a small smile playing on her unpainted lips as they stood near the kitchen entrance, hidden from public view but close enough to hear the soft chatter that could only indicate a busy dining hall. For the next few hours, they would live on the cusp of normalcy, something that neither of them had been close to obtaining prior to this stolen moment."You excited?" Taylor asked sweetly, keeping her voice soft, not wanting to attract the attention of anyone potentially close enough to hear their quiet conversation. She squeezed Emma's hand tightly in hers, thumb brushing against soft knuckles absentmindedly, fondly amused with how entirely enthralled the woman at her side was with the interior of the cafe. It was admittedly a cute hole-in-the-wall place, dressed with soft neutral shades and pastel accents, but Emma's eyes sparkling with curious wonder that made it seem like an extravagant find.Emma nodded adamantly at the question, trailing her gaze away from the decor on the walls to look at Taylor, a shy smile gracing at her lips as she surrendered to the warm embrace of the musician beside her entirely. "I'm so excited. It feels nice. Good.""Yeah?" Taylor smiled genuinely, her calloused thumb still brushing across Emma's knuckles comfortingly, the touch feather-light yet appreciated. "Good. I'm glad."Emma grinned bashfully at Taylor's whispered assurance, indigo eyes flickering to the floorboards before they found sapphire again. "I was never a fan of restaurants, even before I stopped going anywhere. But, it feels good to do something normal. Even if we're hiding by the kitchen entrance." The younger blonde made light of their less than normal situation, and the elder couldn't help but laugh with her."What's normal anyways?" Taylor shrugged lightly, though the weight of her admission struck a chord against both of their bruised hearts. They'd lost sight of normal too long ago, it had become a foreign concept unable to ever be fully explored. "The options were either hide beside a kitchen entrance or be subjected to pictures and stares throughout our entire meal. I'd rather be here with you like this. I get you all to myself this way.""Did anyone ever tell you that you're a horrible sharer?" Emma teased childishly, all while hugging Taylor's arm to her chest and stepping closer into the musicians side in order to avoid the server that came barreling through with a tray of half-eaten entrees looking less than pleased."It's come up once or twice. Personally, I just don't see it." Taylor grinned cheekily, wrapping an arm around Emma's waist as she invited the blonde to step fully into her embrace, merging their two warm bodies into one as they waited to be seated, the restaurant busy and admittedly a lot to deal with at this hour. "Why didn't you like restaurants?" Taylor hummed inquisitively."Anxiety." Emma answered softly, her body deflating as she sank into Taylor's chest and leaned her head against the woman's shoulder, eyes dancing across the walls that were adored with sleek shelving units and potted plants, unable to determine if they were fake or real. "It's more than a bit ironic for my chosen profession, I'm well aware of the irony there, but it felt pretty debilitating for a while. I've got a pretty good handle on it now."Hesitantly, Taylor spoke, her voice even quieter than it had been before. "The night we met..." She trailed off, replaying their first interaction in her head with a new perspective; a perspective that broke her heart just a fraction more than it already had been.Emma laughed humorously, nodding her head to the implied question without needing anything else to be spoken. "Yeah." The actress fiddled with Taylor's fingers mindlessly, blue eyes becoming bleary beneath the bright lightning that fell upon their bodies. "Award shows have always been a trigger. I did meet a pretty blonde in the washroom though, so I guess there was some good to it."Neither Taylor nor Emma had a chance to say anything further. It was in that moment that a waiter had finally approached them, apologizing profusely for the wait they'd endured, before ushering them off to the private room that Tree had booked beneath a fake name. The windows were high, providing warm light, but concealing identities like a slipped on mask. The musician took the chair facing the door at a table set for two, leaving Emma to take the chair facing the wall, an additional measure of obstructed identification in the instance of somebody unexpected stumbling in.They already knew each other like they wore the same skin, yet conversation hadn't stopped flowing as they uncovered additional layers forgotten about beneath the harshness of limelight. A strawberry lemonade had been on the menu, and Emma sipped on it lightly as she listened intently to Taylor as she disclosed the unfortunate events of her childhood, unknown to the media but relevant enough to still weigh on her heart decades later. As they sat beneath matte lighting fixtures, hearts poured out onto the light wood table, only to be picked up and carried out when the check was collected and blue eyes fell to the cement sidewalk as they rushed to tinted windows.Taylor settled the bill two hours later, much to Emma's annoyance as she had pulled her card out just seconds too late, but the dispute was settled with the promise of returning soon. Laughter resumed as the actress roped Greg into conversation on the short drive over to the Franklin Street apartment, the man surprisingly playful as he allowed the younger woman a glimpse into his life, only growing stoic when the break had been applied and the back exit of the building was in sight. Once again, Emma thanked him personally, smiling over her shoulder as she allowed Taylor to drag her into the building with understandably rushed steps.Their fingers remained tightly locked together as they climbed the emergency staircase with a fast pace, hushed giggles echoing off of cold cement walls, surrounding them in timeless joy that would be recalled each time they found themselves in the stairwell for years to come. Emma radiated the ultimate depiction of elation as she watched Taylor fumble with her keys just beyond the front door, the promise of finally meeting her cats creeping up her spine in childish excitement."If I didn't know any better I'd say you're more excited about the cats than hanging out with me." The musician mused, glancing over her shoulder at the actress who wore a bright grin and sparkling indigo eyes, the sleeves of her sweater pulled over her hands as she stood mere inches away."I am!" There wasn't an ounce of playfulness in her light tone, the woman was being entirely sincere, but Taylor didn't mind at all, more than content to watch as Emma rushed past her in the same second that the door had been pushed to revealed the interior of her carefully decorated apartment.Olivia was lounging on the arm of the couch in the living room, her limbs tucked beneath her body in the more stereotypical loaf position. Emma grinned back at Taylor, excitement brewing in her fingertips as she pulled her sleeves up to her elbows and slowly stalked toward the cat, not wanting to scare it off before she got the chance to pet it."Hi, sweetheart." The English-American actress hummed softly, extending a tentative hand for the cat to familiarize itself with before she even attempted to offer scratches and pets. Olivia looked at her in as much interest as a cat could manage, brushing her head against Emma's knuckles as she purred invitingly. "Hi. You're so soft. The softest kitty. The prettiest kitty. Can I pet you? Would you like that?" Emma crouched down, sinking onto her calves as she got down on the cat's level, slowly reaching out to brush her fingers against the Scottish-Folds head, right behind her ears. The touch was welcomed, so much so that Olivia offered Emma's wrist a scratchy kiss.Taylor chuckled softly at the interaction she was fortunate enough to bear witness to from across the room, coming up behind Emma with her arms full of fluff a kaleidoscope of greyscale. Meredith seemed less than pleased to be in her owners embrace, yet she made no attempt to leap from her arms and hide away in a hard to access corner. Instead, she watched Emma with a calculated glare, something not entirely uncommon for the grouchy kitten."I think she likes me." Emma beamed at Taylor, her gentle fingers still stroking behind Olivia's ears, the cat purred intensely at the treatment being offered her way.Taylor's expression was one of absolute awe as she watched the Scottish-Fold she adored beyond globally recognized words begin to creep off the arm of the couch, leaping into Emma's lap rather ungracefully. There wasn't a single graceful bone in the cat's entire body, but somehow it surprised the musician each time she watched Olivia plummet off of high surfaces without any regard for how the impact would feel. "Liv's easy enough to win over. Mere looks like she's plotting your death.""It's all about patience." Emma responded coyly, shifting her position to comfortably accommodate for Olivia getting comfortable in her lap, the white cat purring in contentment. "I know you don't have that, but I have plenty." The actress teased, fingers combing across the cat's spine, softly trailing across her tail, which was just as soft as her body. Olivia felt like what Emma imagined a cloud would feel like, however unrealistic that expectation was when put against scientific evidence.Taylor rolled her eyes, a smirk pulling at her lips as she reached for the cat in Emma's lap, allowing Meredith to break away from her touch as she traded one Scottish-Fold for the other."Hey! That's my kitty!" Emma protested with a soft whine, indigo eyes wide and saturated with devastating betrayal as she lost the warmth that had only just began to spread across her thighs. Olivia looked less than pleased with the abrupt capture from her owner, although she made no attempt to escape either."My kitty. She doesn't like it when you're mean. Isn't that right, Dibbles? You don't like it when Emma's mean." Taylor whispered to the cat in her embrace, fully aware of the fact that Emma could hear her if the smirk on her lips was any indication. Her fingers danced beneath Olivia's chin, the back of her hand brushing against the soft whiskers that stuck out from the cats snout adorably.Emma rolled her eyes fondly, content to watch Taylor whisper soft affirmations to the animals that filled her darkest days with ounces of light whenever possible. For years of her adolescence she'd wanted a kitten, so vividly constructing the image of a soft peach colored American Bobtail with a short coat and blue eyes in her imagination as she lay away at night in debilitating lonesomeness. She'd craved something to share her isolation with, as depressing as it sounded even years later, yet the plan had never seen action with her beyond tedious schedule and crippling grief. She could understand why Taylor adored her felines so intensely, because she adored the figment of her imagination to the same extent. Yeah, now she really did sound like a total loser."What's with the goofy grin?" Taylor blushed beneath Emma's attentive gaze, drawing Olivia closer to her chest as she nervously brushed her fingers against the cat's soft coat, her smile delicate across her lips.Emma shook her head softly, attempting to pull herself out of the secret garden locked away in the depths of her overgrown imagination. She shrugging her shoulders up to her ears bashfully, eyes flickering over to where Meredith watched her from the side of the room before they fell back on Taylor, a pink tint over her ivory cheeks as she surrendered to the wild storm of endless blue staring back at her like she was the sole attraction in the room. "You're just cute."Taylor looked at her incredulously, yet she didn't press. Emma would tell her if she wanted to, only when she was ready, and if that moment ever came, she'd be more than willing to listen. For now, beneath the faint illumination of early evening sunlight, she merely offered a new conversation to harp on, drawing attention away from their mental hideaways that had become a desperate clutch in these last few months. They talked about Blake, and sweet baby Inez that had seen her grand entrance into the world just the month prior. They shared sensitive details about their upcoming projects, reveling in the rare security that entirely encompassed them and their secrets. For hours they talked on the floor of Taylor's living room, like two souls that had been crafted explicitly to exist together.Hours flew by like minutes, dinner long forgotten about as they unpacked their childhoods and exemplary heights in their respective careers that had been spun by the media in drastic ways when they'd first occurred. They uncovered the hidden truth behind headlines, rewrote narratives that had bound them to coffins prematurely, they ripped off lays of charred skin that had been left to linger on their warm bodies in the wake of harrowing betrayals. When fell into bed twenty three minutes after midnight exactly, their easy conversation hadn't ended. For hours they kept whispering beneath the blanket of nightfall like teenagers with an approaching curfew, laughing like free-spirited children on a playground, discovering one another like the world might end before morning fell over New York and they'd be forced to die knowing only what they did in that moment.Taylor left for LA the next day. Emma saw her again three days later.