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Iris was positively annoyed. Why were they annoyed, you might ask? Because they have the stupidest, pettiest, most annoying girlfriend in history, and it was way too fucking early for this."What?" They muttered, reaching for the eyeliner again. A vague thought started to form in their mind but they really hoped they were wrong about that one. Unfortunately, as they reached for the eyeliner, it jumped out of their reach again. They groaned in exasperation as they walked back to their room, glaring at the faerie currently draped over their bed."Agnes. Did you curse my eyeliner?" They asked, disregarding the proper fae etiquette in favour of getting an answer quickly. Agnes glanced up from the novel she was pretending to read, expression blank. She shook her head calmly, lips pressed together."Yeah, I'm gonna need to hear you deny that verbally." Iris sighed. They might not be allowed to practice magic, but they still had experience with annoying fae trying to outsmart their need to speak the truth. Agnes' mouth was still clamped shut, though the corners of her lips quirked up in a smug sort of smirk, and they took that as all the confirmation they needed, storming out of the room with a huff. They tried to catch the eyeliner a few more times until it jumped to the ceiling. They didn't get to wear their usual make-up that day, and Agnes had a whole lot of shit coming her way if Iris had anything to say about it. They figured Agnes might do something like this; they'd had an argument the day before (Iris couldn't even remember what it was about), and Agnes was having a hard time letting go of her 'cursing people when they annoy me' urges. Still, she'd be staying the whole week, so Iris really hoped it wasn't gonna last that long. If you assumed that meant they wouldn't be getting revenge, do you even know them?Their first act of retaliation: Removal of the velcro strap. It was relatively easy to take the velcro straps out of Agnes' shoes and replace them with shoelaces. This prank was highly effective in theory because Agnes still had not learned how to tie her shoes (which Iris teased her relentlessly about, of course). However, the prank had not worked well in practice. Though having a cool magic faerie girlfriend was fun most days, it was less fun when you're trying to be petty and all she does is frown for a second before snapping her fingers and undoing all of your hard work.Not an hour after their failed prank, they went upstairs to find all six of their guitar strings snapped. They'd tried a lot of hobbies after giving up witchcraft (at the encouragement of their parents), but playing guitar was the only one that had really stuck. Minor vandalism was pretty usual behaviour for Agnes (sometimes accidentally), so they had plenty of guitar strings to fix this, but it was still annoying.They hid the cookie jar used for gingerbread as revenge.They kept going back and forth like that, minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, until eventually they'd basically started a full-blown prank war. A war Iris fully intended to win, of course.Another interesting thing; despite the fact that they both knew what was going on, neither of them confronted the other again. It's like their rivalry only existed in actions, not in words. Or, mostly not in words. Occasionally one of them would make a comment in passing, but no serious talking-about-the-issue-and-resolving-it occurred. They did rile each other up, though."I'm gonna get you back for that one." They huffed, dusting glitter off their jeans. A glitterbomb, Agnes, really? That was low."Mhm, sure you are. And I'll just magick my way out." Agnes hummed, barely sparing a glance at Iris as she grabbed her towel and headed for the bathroom.As much as they hated to admit it, Agnes was right. She had the big advantage of having magic, which kept Iris' pranks ineffective, regardless of how much planning or cling film they put into them. Perhaps it was time to level the playing field. They needed to do some magic."Faeries are incredibly interesting creatures." They began. Immediately, the entire coven groaned in exasperation. Iris chose to ignore this; they'd been told they spent their sessions gushing over faeries (read: Agnes) so much they really didn't care much anymore. "However, sometimes she—I mean, the entire species—can be incredibly annoying."The previously annoyed witches now changed their attitude, looking a lot more interested in what Iris had to say. They'd reluctantly been co-running the coven with Makena because, as Makena has so kindly put it, 'they were still a slightly competent witch'. Now they spend every Tuesday and Thursday at the club after school to help with spells and teach the others more complex rituals, mostly fae-related ones."Had a fight with your girlfriend?" One of the witches, Dina, called from the back. They considered lying for a minute before deciding to just put all their cards on the table."Something like that. Unfortunately, Agnes is impressively petty and is turning this into some kind of prank war." They sighed, dramatically plopping down on one of the beanbags. Dina winced; getting on a faerie's bad side (even if that faerie is your girlfriend) is never a good idea."So what do you want us to do?" Another girl, Maeve, asked."What would you guys say to some practice in getting back at faeries?" Iris winked. The effect was immediate; about twenty people gave each other conspiratorial smiles before the room exploded with the sound of an entire coven planning a war.Iris had to admit that their coven had truly outdone themselves. Agnes was with their dad's class today, so they had plenty of time to set things up. Everywhere there were wards, traps, minor spells, and the occasional glitter bomb from when Iris got bored while all the others got to do spells. All in all, Agnes wouldn't stand a chance."We're back!" Their dad called as he walked into the house, boots heavy on the living room floor. Any minute now, Agnes would walk into their room and set off an abundance of traps.As Iris expected, they could hear footsteps on the stairs. Then they heard someone approaching the room. Agnes stopped in front of the room briefly before opening the door...And then immediately getting doused in something that Iris was pretty sure they hadn't approved. This suspicion was proven when Agnes gasped in a way that leaned more towards pained than surprised."Agnes?" Iris asked, standing at the faerie's side in seconds. Agnes stumbled briefly before finding her footing again, and all Iris could think about was that terrible time that she'd spent in the human realm the first time around, slowly weakening as her connection to Faerie dwindled. This wasn't how this was supposed to go at all."Agnes, are you okay?" They asked, leading the faerie out of the room to avoid setting of any other traps. Agnes shook her head as if trying to clear it before replying."Iron. Really, Iris?" She huffed, wrestling herself from their grip and crossing her arms."Shit, really? That wasn't me, hold on, lemme get the gel thing. Don't enter my room; it's boobytrapped." They explained quickly, running off to the bathroom to get the gel. They'd recently found that it helped with the burns that Agnes got from iron, so they made sure to always have a stash in case they forgot to wear fake iron rings. Agnes was already sitting on the bathroom floor by the time they found it."Is it okay if I... y'know?" They asked awkwardly, vaguely gesturing around with the tube of gel. Agnes nodded stiffly, and they got to work in silence, only occasionally broken when Agnes hissed in pain. Once they were done, they took a deep breath and leaned against the sink, closing their eyes. "I'm really sorry, I had no idea they'd do that.""It's fine, I think. Nothing super bad happened." Agnes shrugged, avoiding eye contact. Iris knew she wasn't physically capable of lying, but it still didn't feel like the truth."You were never supposed to get hurt, though." "Yeah, but I started it." That caused Iris to take a step back. Agnes very rarely, if at all, admitted she was wrong, so this was quite a surprise."Do you even remember what we were arguing about?" They asked, opening one eye to look at their girlfriend. Agnes blushed, and that was all Iris really needed to know that she hadn't."I... kinda cursed you preemptively in case you tried something." Agnes said, carefully looking anywhere but at Iris. They figured they were probably supposed to be angry with her, but they couldn't stop themselves from laughing. This was just so them, wasn't it? "We're ridiculous. We're just actually ridiculous." They laughed, looking over to see Agnes' startled expression. Slowly, though, she started to laugh too, until they were both practically rolling on the floor.Once the giggles had finally died down, Agnes' head suddenly snapped up as if she remembered something."Who did you mean with 'them'?" She asked, referring to the people Iris had admitted helped them earlier."Oh, I got help from the coven." They explained, not looking over at Agnes as they smudged another ward. Agnes gasped."You're not allowed to invoke the help of others! That's against the rules!" Iris looked over their shoulder, realising the rune by the door should still stop Agnes from entering."All's fair in love and war, Agnes." They winked.