Work Text
Coming back from spring break was the worst thing that had happened to the students attending the âFundamental Paper Educationâ school, whatever the hell that ridiculous name is supposed to mean.
Â
Their break, their only solace in this hell hole, was gone, and they were trapped once more in math class (but we all know its true name is Hell).
Â
Currently, they were learning
something-
but nobody could ever really tell what because of Miss Circleâs thick accent (âzeyp, ahlevur, wat ar youh dooeng/!?11â) and nobody was going to decipher it- Kevin barred, of course. Heâd never miss a lesson- hell, even a word- for the life of him.
Â
Abbie sat with his head on the table, and had been doing that the entirety of the day (Zip was more than tempted to put a picture of him in an emo Capcut template). That made him the prime target for paper airplanes thrown by the Toddler Three- Zip, Oliver, and Edward. There were at least twenty stuck in his hair, and at least twenty trees wasted. Nobody had a clue on what he was doing, other than sitting there. Maybe he found out burgers were made of cow and became depressed like Authorâs brother?
Â
The Toddler Three were snickering a shit (curse counter: 1) ton, eying their masterpiece and decidedly not the teacher teaching- at least, the one on the board, since Miss Circle was crying in the corner for some reason and just assigned some Edpuzzle about the history of drugs to the students. (If you donât know what Edpuzzles are, please keep your innocence and never interact with history teachers. But in short, Edpuzzles are basically just videos made by other teachers or random Youtubers that have 3 subscribers with the added periodic questions)
Â
Kevin, the only one actually watching the Edpuzzle, continuously shouting for people to be quiet while class is going on, was annoying the fuck (curse counter: 2) out of everyone so he was sure to get jumped by the end of the day, but thatâs normal here because itâs fUCKING (curse counter: 3) HELL
Â
Anyways, the class seems to be dragging on, pulled further by some invisible force- mayhaps this is their punishment for the first year prank involving ribbons, phones, and the doubt of their peers? Whatever it was, though probably the Hell DLC or the Hell+ add-on, it was terrible.
Â
The semi-silence was broken by a loud yell capable of rivaling the decibels of that of a fatherâs sneeze (i wouldnât know what that sounds like #deaddadgang #whydoidothis).
Â
âGUYS, QUIET DOWN! MISS CIRCLE IS TEACHING!â Kevin yells, not noticing how that makes Miss Circle sob even harder because oh my god if they check the cameras she is NOT getting paid for today and her rent is too expensive for that. Also, everyone just starts doing whatever even louder just to spite that mf (curse counter: 4), like how Claire starts singing opera music while doing science homework and how Edward starts slamming his head on the desk instead of just resting his head on it and giving half-hearted chuckles every time one of his friends throws and airplane at Abbie because ffs (curse counter: 5) just get this guy a sleeping pill or a pipe to be bashed over his head????
Â
Thankfully, the bell soon rang, a stampede of screaming hellspawn running out of the room before a strict teacher could shout âTHE BELL DOESNâT DISMISS YOU, I DOâ
Â
Lingering behind, Abbie groggily picked up his supplies from where it was scattered in various corners of the room and also various parts of the ceiling (courtesy of the Toddler Trio), dead trees still in his hair. Unaware of the lurking danger, he bends over to pick up one of his notebooks with a bar of soap sharpied on (the corner of the notebook, and part of the soap drawing, is also bitten off⊠what kind of monster would do that?), when suddenly a paper airplane is thrown at high speeds, hitting him in the ass (curse counter: 6). Snickers are heard from outside the door from which the airplane came, and his toddler senses told him that it was Zip (or maybe it was the fact she was walking in, idk).
Â
Zip then throws a paper airplane at Miss Circle, no longer sobbing in the corner instead sobbing while grading papers. You could see the emo tear drop stains on the math worksheets; aka the sheets that would decide if Zip and Abbie lived or not because DAMN (curse counter: 7) their grades were bad.
Â
Anyways, Miss Circle catches the paper airplane in her only fist, crumpling it before opening it up again and blowing her nose in it. She makes sudden eye contact with Zip, who tries to run away after pissing (curse counter: 8) her pants in fear because oh my god she just pissed (curse counter: 9) off a homicidal maniac, how very smart of her to do that- but Miss Circle jumps over half the classroom, runs into a wall, and then falls onto Zip, essentially crushing her- but still trapping her in the class! A for effort?
âŠor would that be E for effort? Maybe F?
Either way, she had a terrible solution but the correct (maybe-ish) answer, so Miss Circle sits up and grabs Zip by the tail, closing the door with her mechanical arm, and walks over to Abbie who was attempting to escape out of a window. Miss Circle proceeds to use Zip like a wrecking ball or a weapon of some kind and whacks Abbie in the head, causing him to slam his head against a desk and fall to the ground dramatically.
Â
Miss Circle sighs, dropping an incredibly dizzy Zip onto the ground, who lands with a thud that was loud enough to shake the desks, which wakes the unconscious-now-conscious Abbie.
Â
âHow heavy are you???!!!â Abbie practically screams, as Miss Circle shakes her head and mumbles âfat ass bitchâŠâ (Curse counter: 11?)
Â
Zip, who just fell from the height of a skyscraper, is picked up by the shoulders- by Miss Circle, of course- and leaned against a desk that remained in the aftermath of Zipâs fall.
Â
This cycle repeats a few times as Zip tries to get her bearings, being picked up by Miss Circle each time until Miss Circle just lets Zip lay on the floor. Miss CIrcle then backs up, wiping a stray tear from her eye before sighing and clearing her throat.
Â
âAs you will not know, Oreos have beenâŠâ She starts sobbing again, dropping to the floor. âDISCONTINUEDâŠ.â
Zip finally stands up, along with Abbie, and the two of them turn to you.
They turn back to Miss Circle when they hear her sobs subside and the âclink-clankâ of her emo hooker boots as she stands back up.
Â
âSo⊠as the stupidest students with the lowest grades, I have a⊠proposition for you. A quest, for you DnD nerds.â
Â
Abbie blinks one eye at a time as Zip gasps in clear offense.
Â
âEXCUSE YOU?! I AM NOT-â Zip is cut off by Miss Circle. âYou got a -3/27 on a participation assignment.â
Â
Zip becomes deathly silent, so Miss Circle takes that as an excuse to continue her speech.
Â
âAs an esteemed member of the Oreo Crew (we are NOT ripping off the skittle squad), we have early access to the secrets of this world- including the whereabouts of the final Oreo pack- but that extends to every single one of the three thousand members; meaning there will be⊠competition.â Miss Circle glances to the side, expression contemplative. Zip seems to just be standing there, information being blocked by either her stupidity or her stubbornness. Abbie, however, realizes something.
Â
âWait- what the hell do you mean âcompetitionâ?â He contemplates bolting for it while Miss Circle is distracted, but she quickly looks back to them.
Â
âDid you not hear what I said? I have aâŠ. Request. A mutual agreement.â
âIâm not agreeing to this shi?!â (Curse counter: 11.75?)
Â
âDo you even know what your rewards for this would be?â This apparently snaps Zip back to reality, as she stares straight into the soul of Miss Circle and mutters ârewards?â
Â
âExcuse me, let me borrow this thing for a second.â Zip grabs Abbie by the shoulders and steers both of them 5 feet from their previous position, Miss Circle watching impatiently.
Â
Zip begins in a hushed whisper, covering Abbieâs mouth with her hand to muffle his protests. âDo you know what kind of reward we could get? Miss Circle literally graduated a kid because he won on a Kahoot! I
need
this, and you are going to agree to this âquestâ so I can leave this dumb place!â
â
You?
What about me?! Sheâll probably just kill me if I agree because Iâd end up breathing wrong or taking too long!â
âLike youâre doing right now!â Miss Circle pipes up, stalking up to the two. âHow about it; I donât kill you if you do this. You refuse, you die.â She deviously smirks, head held up high.
Â
Abbie looks Miss Circle straight in the eyes, breaking his neck in the process but speaking nonetheless. âI want to d-â
âHe wants to do this!â Zip slaps her hand over Abbieâs mouth, nearly knocking him over. âBut we have one condition!â
Miss Circle raises an eyebrow. âAnd that i-?â
âPERMANENT A IN YOUR CLASS.â Zip cuts her off, foaming at the mouth. âNOTHING CAN CHANGE OR BREAK THE A, REGARDLESS OF WHAT I GET ON AN ASSIGNMENT.â
Miss Circle sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose. âSure, Zip, you can get that but can you just-â
Zip suddenly lets out a high pitched scream, ripping her hand away from Abbie and wiping it on Abbieâs shoulder, who appears to be licking his lips.
âDamn what moisturi- oh wait- I WANT THE PERMANENT A TOO! IF IâM BEING DRAGGED INTO THIS I-â
âOKAY OKAY, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST GO STEAL A BUS FOR ALL I CARE.â Miss Circle yells, grabbing the two by the hair and throwing them out of the window Abbie had previously attempted to escape through.
Â
The two, landing in surprisingly soft glass, lay for a second longer as Miss Circleâs yellings of âcheap windows made of Garfield,â âStupid children who think with their drool,â and âI hate this gameâ grow quieter as she exits her class and makes way to the break room.
Â
They begin to blink in unison, turning to each other and staring for a few seconds before Zip jumps up and starts pacing. Abbie hesitantly gets up, careful of the odd âglassâ shards surrounding them.
Â
âSo uh, where do you think.. Where do you think the Oreo place is?â Abbie says, his odd burst of confidence gone. Mayhaps it was just adrenaline? Either way, he was nervous, considering their lives were on the line and they had no clue where to search.
Â
Suddenly- and suspiciously conveniently- out of the window they were thrown from comes a large, rolled up paper with suspiciously tear-shaped water marks.
Â
Abbie, hit in the head by the paper, watches it bounce off of his face and into his hands. He quickly unrolls the parchment, which glows bright for a second and blinds Abbie, who accidentally drops it into the waiting hands of Zip, whose eyes are fine because the glow subsided right after blinding Abbie, who was still rubbing his eyes and looking around in confusion.
Â
For a minute straight, Zip stares at the paper in pure bewilderment, even sometimes rolling up and unrolling it again. Abbie soon stumbles over, looking over Zip's shoulder (and head) to see what sheâs reading.
Â
âI just- I canât read it! I donât know what itâs supposed to mean!â Zip throws the paper down, going back to pacing. Abbie picks it back up, unrolling it and turning to Zip with a deadpan expression.
Â
âYou had it upside down.â The awkward silence continues for several moments, their eye contact unbreaking until Zip speaks.
Â
âSo, what does it say..?â
âIt says âgullibleâ...â Abbie begins mumbling to himself.
Â
âOh really?â
Abbie stares incredulously at Zip before leaning over with the paper, which turns out to be a map. Thereâs a large red X over a town that was over 20 miles away, practically at the edge of state (probably Texas or Florida, who knows what goes on over there istg).
Â
Abbie and Zip, staring at it in shock, slowly turn to each other and then at you, both with a thousand yard stare and slack jaws.
Â
â...Maybe we should get going.â
âYeah, maybeâŠ.â
Â
â...â
Â
â...â
âWell, letâs go hijack a bus!â
Â
-
Â
Finding a bus to hijack was easier than youâd think. But honestly, if youâve thought about it, have you considered mental help? No? Me neither! Letâs continue!
Anyways, Abbie and Zip are now standing outside of a school bus, so bright it hurts their eyes.
Â
âYâknow, I didnât really think this through.â Zip begins, looking at Abbie. âYou do it for me then :Dâ
Â
âWh-â
âIâll get the paper airplane out of your hair if you do.â
âI have a-!?â
âYou wonât if you get the bus up and running.â
Â
Abbie, running his hands all over his hair to find the stupid airplane, stops, gaze hardening on the closed bus doors. He side eyes Zip, going over to the doors, which open instantly due to plot armour. Abbie looks back to an equally surprised Zip.
Â
â...Happy early May the Fourth Be With You?â
âNobody likes that nerd shit, Abbie.â
Â
âNobody likes you.â
Â
âNobody likes Kevin.â
Â
âDonât say that about- yeah I canât even pretend, fuck that guy.â
Â
âWho wouldnât.â
Â
âWhat?â
Â
âWhat?â
Â
â...â
âOkay, but heâs kinda-â
âNope, nope, DONE with this conversation.â Abbie says as he walks onto the bus, quickly being shoved aside by Zip who plops down into the driverâs seat, which conveniently has the key stuck in the ignition.
Â
âOh cool, buttons!â Zip lifts her hands to mess with the various buttons on the dashboard and the areas surrounding it, but Abbie grabs her hands to restrain her from doing that.
Â
âIf you donât shut up and drive, I am going to ##### ### #### a cat up #### ####### ### ### ##### ## ### ## #### ### ### ### #### ### ## # ##### ######- (Censored for your own sanity)â
Abbie lets go of Zip, who looks to the windshield with a horrified gaze in her eyes, turning the ignition and beginning to back out of the 5 parking spots the bus was horizontally using. Scoffing, Abbie presses a button that closes the gaping hole in the side of the bus known as the door.
Â
âLearn to close a door.â
â...â
Â
â...â
Zip does not respond.
Â
â...Look, Iâm sorry for threatening to-â
Â
âShush, driving.â
Â
â...â
Â
â...â
âDa-â
âSHUT UPâ
Â
Abbie side eyes Zip again, walking backwards to sit in the seat directly behind the driverâs.
Â
âArenât these supposed to-â
âShould I use a censored threat too, Abbie? Huh? You wanna be on the receiving end of THAT?â
Â
â...â
Â
âThatâs what I thought. THUGâ
Abbie gasps dramatically (but entirely genuinely), grabbing at the fabric of his shirt where his heart would be. He falls further against the seat, however, when Zip speeds up by at least 50 mph (laughs in American) after making a left-hand turn.
âYOU PSYCHOPATH, SLOW DOWN-â
In response, Zip only speeds up.
Â
âOKAY OKAY I GET IT-â
Â
-
Â
After a surprisingly long time considering how fast Zip was driving, and after Zipâs many failed attempts to zoom in on the map despite it being paper, they were finally outside of the city/town/village/hell border- at least, down the road from it.
Â
Zip, focused on the road/civilians, noticed too late- Abbie, too preoccupied with trying not to pass out, noticed too late-
Â
And their brakes noticed a bit late, too.
Â
The bus, one wheel blown, begins to swerve uncontrollably (like my dadâs car fr), Zip unable to slow down nor right the direction. Both Abbie and Zip are screaming at this point, clinging onto their respective seats wishing they had or had on seat belts. The moment the tree comes into view, however, they know theyâre screwed.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Waking up in the morning was hard enough for Abbie, but waking up after surviving a bus crash? Still not as bad.The hard, cold ground softer than his own mattress, the hissing of something light and feathery to his ears, lulling him eternally to sleep, the numbness of it all-The low groans of someone else waking up.Ah, thatâs right- Zip. The bus. The Oreo quest. Did they ever truly learn what they were to do, or had they gone off in search of something they need not? Would this all just be a futile attempt in saving his life?Should he save his life?Never mind that now, maybe he should wake to lecture Zip.But the ground was so comfortable, wasnât it?Shouldnât he just stay?Itâd be easier, and lord knows he needed easier.Yeah⊠heâll just lay here for a second longer.His limbs go limp as his muscles relax, Zipâs frantic speaking nothing but white noise as his vision fades and his breathing slows.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Zip had always imagined watching someone die to be some normal, badass experience she wouldnât feel anything for- watching with disdain, barking out some nasty quip, and walking away as if nothing happened- perhaps even bragging about it to her friends later on, too. Maybe a dramatic explosion behind her as she walks away, for good measure?What she hadnât planned on, however, was watching the life drain from Abbieâs eyes- someone sheâd begrudgingly befriended over the course of several years of being in forced proximity- the small respect sheâd gained for him formulating the idea for last yearâs graduation prank (even if sheâd repeated it louder, making everyone think she had the ideaâŠ)- itâd all go to waste, sinking into the ground as will he eventually-She had to save him; she didnât know how, but she had to. She wouldnât let him die.(She convinced herself it was just the blood loss and concussion talking, no way she actually cared for him. She tucked her earlier revelations about their âfriendshipâ far back in her mind, never to see the light of day again.)She crawled on shaky limbs to Abbie and his slowly closing eyes; he looked oddly peaceful in this moment, his usual expression of weary anxiety now something akin to relief- mayhaps free.But she knew she couldnât let him keep that expression, so she yelled. Yelled for him to wake up. It wouldnât do much- in the back of her mind, she was sure she knew that, but she couldnât do much else, could she?She was helpless, utterly helpless.As Abbieâs eyes closed the final millimeter, Zipâs vision began to swim and her head lowered to the groundâŠÂ Only to jerk up seconds later, Zip once more her energetic self- at least, she would be, if someone decked out in full body armor didnât stand in front of her, Abbieâs limp body in hand.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
For several seconds, Zip sat in stunned silence, staring and staring at the figure who had yet to notice her.
Their mannerisms were something familiar, Zip noted as she watched the person gently manhandle the
body
person known as Abbie to look at his wounds.
(There was no way Abbie was dead, this was just a dream and sheâd wake up any minute itâs just a dream itâs just a dream itâs just a)
There seemed to be multiple glass shards lodged in his arms, as if he had tried to protect himself using them. Considering she didnât see any other shards, sheâd say his arms to the blunt of the glass. He had a gaping wound in his head, a red substance leaking out of it. His hair was matted and ruined. Heâd get mad about that, wouldnât he? He loved his hair.
At least he didnât look too terrible, other than that.
That wasnât to say his legs were not unharmed though, given the fact his knees were badly bruised and he was missing an entire shoe. Luckily, both socks were still present, so it was safe to say their âknight in shining armourâ did not have a foot fetish.
Â
..maybe.
Â
..hopefully.
Â
Either way, Zip was, for some reason she could not fathom, unharmed. Mayhaps she was not the authorâs favorite, or maybe she was just lucky, but sheâd take whatever she could get, whether it be plot armour or luck.
Â
âŠmaybe sheâd run out of both, considering the figure was now turning to her. She couldnât read their intentions, considering they wore a helmet, and honestly, that scared the fuck out of her.
Â
Aaaaand now theyâre approaching her, this is SO fun for her. They still held Abbie, his body⊠still limp and somehow also stiff.
(Abbie was fine he was perfectly okay heâs at home playing piano heâd be fine he was okay he wasnât dead this was just a hallucination)
âŠshe probably needed to hide, didnât she?
Â
âŠyes, she did, and luckily she found a nearby seat (
EVERYTHING WAS NEARBY ITâS CLOSING IN
) she was, luckily, small enough to fit under. Itâs probably the only time she thanked her genetics for giving her a small stature- other than when playing hide-n-seek, of course.
Â
Back in reality, away from the inner monologue, the personâs slow walk stopped to a halt in front of Zipâs petrified form, looking down at her pathetic attempt at hiding.
Â
â...I saw you the second I stepped in here, no need to hide.â The personâs voice was distorted, wobbly, and as if they were trying to mask their identity. DEFINITELY someone she knew then, no point in hiding it if it wasnât. (Zip may be stupid, but to be fair, how the hell was she supposed to find X if it canât even find itself????? Watching true crime documentaries is so much easier)
Â
Remembering this was real life, Zip cursed the figureâs entire bloodline and crawled a bit out from under the seat.
Â
â..WHY the hell are you dressed like that?â Zip asks. Apparently she hadnât been hallucinating when she saw the FULL BODY ARMOUR. Definitely some weird attire, but she knew someone who was a pile of bubbles and also had a dinosaur tail herself so she couldnât really talk.
Â
The armour itself was a beauty, a nice silver tone with intricate carvings embedded in the chest plate, even if it were a bit muddled itself. It was probably just her vision acting up again..
Â
She stood to her full height, puffing out her chest as if it would do shit to intimidate armour man. Or woman. Or dog. idfk. Surprisingly, there wasnât much of a height difference- Zip was a few inches shorter than the âperson,â if at all.
Â
At this point, the person had maneuvered Abbie to be slung over the shoulder, not entirely carelessly. But still mostly carelessly. Ykwim???
Anyways, the armoured thing grabbed Zipâs shoulder, practically dragging her out of the somehow intact bus?????
âWh- no- PEDOPHILE!!!!!! PEDOPHILE!!!!!!!!!! IâM BEING ASSAULTED!!!!! HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â
The person slaps an armoured hand over Zipâs mouth, both shutting her up and knocking a few teeth out. Not that sheâd realize, her teeth were already rotting out anyways.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
As you can guess from the fact I haven't updated in MONTHS (and the title of the chapter), this is fic is going on pause for a while.For one, it no longer represents most of my writing, since I consider this to be rather mediocre- though I still love the fic! However, my past hyperfixation is gone, and I don't have a drive to write for this anymore.I DO have a bit more of the next chapter written, though not even halfway, but if you'd like me to drop the leaks before disappearing for a lil while, lmk and i'll drop it plus another snippet from the chapter after that!!! :D but please know, this WILL eventually come back, I can promise that much!I am also currently working on two other fics, a claire/abbie oneshot and a multi-chapter fic i'll post after the oneshot :DByebyes guys! Have a wonderful day! :33
