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"Robin, I can take a watch!" Much could not hide how unfair it was that he had been passed over in the assignment of duties. Just like Lady Marion, but - in his eyes - she was just a girl and did not count. Besides, she had not said anything about it yet."I know, Much," Robin replied, but at the same time gave the impression that he had not really listened to his brother, for he had not taken his eyes off Marion's face."Of course you can, boy," said the giant, who everyone just called Little John, even though Will had only recently given him that nickname. The former shepherd reached out and ruffled the younger one's hair.Much winced and gave the other man an angry look. "I'm not a child anymore, John," he replied angrily. "Don't treat me like one!" he demanded."I wasn't trying to... I didn't mean..." the former shepherd began, but that was as far as he got."Don't be like that, boy!" came a gruff voice from the side, and then Will plopped down on the ground next to the fire. "As far as I'm concerned, you're not an adult yet. And children and..." he paused for a moment, glancing at the young woman sitting next to Robin, but then continued unperturbed, "Girls ‘ave no business ‘ere." The man who had called himself Scarlet seemed to have no problem making his opinion known."Will!" This time Robin looked away from Marion."That may be so," Tuck interrupted suddenly. Perhaps the monk was afraid that a heated argument might break out. "But the two of them are here and have nowhere else to go." He paused for a moment. "Just like everyone else here.""I don't want to go anywhere else anyway," the young woman spoke up now."Neither do I," Much announced with emphasis."They'll adjust, Will," John said. "Give them time."The former soldier whom Robin - and Much - had met in the Sheriff's dungeon made a grim face. He obviously still believed that no one could change their fate. He had said that in Nottingham, and though he was here in Sherwood now - and though he had survived the battle at Belleme Castle - he seemed just as dismissive of everything as before."I don't need time," protested the youngest of those gathered around the fire. He would never admit that although he might not be any younger than the girl, she certainly looked grown up, unlike him. Much had understood perfectly well that if she had been a boy, she would not have been exempt from the sentry duty. But as it was, it was difficult for the group to see her as an equal. And to expect her to do the same as the others.'Except for me,' Much thought bitterly.He was not aware that his behavior did not give the others the impression that they could put their lives in his hands, but their lives were the most precious thing they had left after the events of the last few days.Nor had he considered that it was an unfamiliar experience for the others to sit around a fire in the middle of Sherwood as darkness fell. The sensations it gave them were anything but pleasant.It was not so long ago that the first of them had fled into the woods, as it was the only refuge they had left. There they met others who had come for similar reasons. However, most of them saw the woods as just a stopover, as they wanted to move on to a place where no one knew them. There they wanted to resume their old lives. But this wish was denied them.This was due to the fact that they had rallied around this young man who had managed to escape from the Sheriff's dungeon - taking others with him - and who, with his charisma and charm, had made them feel that they could make a difference. He was right, but many of them did not survive the fight.And the survivors - including their young leader - had learned in a very painful way that life had no easy justice in store for them. And that no one would give them anything, but that they would have to fight for everything they thought they were entitled to. Most of all, they had learned that there was no way back to their old lives.So they had no choice but to get used to the feeling of being in Sherwood at night."Much, please, your time will come," Robin tried to reassure his foster brother. But he said this more out of a need to quell the emerging argument than because he no longer remembered who had put him in this predicament. In fact, he had no intention of treating the boy like the rest of them, for in his opinion, he was not yet an adult."You shouldn't treat me like a child," Much was immediately indignant."We've all been in your position," Tuck interjected, who, despite being a monk, was not exempt from the duty of guarding. But he had already proven his worth to the group, and not just by praying for those who had lost their lives when Marion was freed."But no one treats you like children!" Much refused to be reassured."Oh, Much, it wasn't meant that way," John tried to smooth things over. "I know how you feel. I was once little, too."His choice of words caused everyone but the person being addressed to burst out laughing. And those who did not laugh out loud at least smiled at the statement. Just like the silent stranger who had unexpectedly joined them, even though he had opposed Robin at Belleme Castle. Nor had any of the others forgotten that they had seen him in the Baron's livery at the archery tournament in Nottingham. Yet here he was, sitting with them by the fire."I imagine you were younger once, John," Will said finally, once he had regained control of himself. "But little, that's beyond me." He laughed again and slapped the taller man's shoulder.Even John could not help but laugh now."I hope there was a time when he was little, or his mother is to be pitied," Marion said then - completely unexpectedly - which silenced the others for a moment before they burst out laughing again."That's true," John finally admitted, "but I was just saying that there was a time when I didn't think I was a child either, and didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to do certain things. Just like Much.""And when did you stop being a child?" asked the younger one, his inexhaustible curiosity suppressing his anger for the moment.John, perhaps sensing a change in Much's demeanor, opened his mouth as if to reply. Then he scratched his beard and began again."Well..." he started slowly, "when did I stop being a child? That's a good question, Much, a very good one."The small praise actually elicited a slight smile from the boy, but it did not satisfy his curiosity."When was that?" he inquired."Must ‘ave ‘ad something to do with sheep!" Will teased."Sheep too," John replied in the same tone, only to add, "I can't remember a time when I didn't have to deal with sheep."He sighed, "I guess that's over now.""John, Much is still waiting for an answer," Marion reminded him in a gentle voice. She had also noticed that Robin's younger brother had let go of his anger a bit, and she did not want him to revert to his previous mood."Ah," the giant exclaimed, a dreamy expression appearing on his face. "I remember when I really thought I was no longer a child.""What was it?" an impatient Much wanted to know when John did not continue. "Maybe I already have done..." he continued. Even if he did not say so, the others knew that he thought that if he had, the whole thing would be over and his friends would finally have to treat him like an adult."No, my boy," the former shepherd said now, "I don't think you have yet." He still had a smile on his face, and it was obvious that his memories made him quite happy. But suddenly a blush crept across his face, the smile vanished and he looked down."I don't want to talk about it," he announced."That's not the way it works, John," Will objected. "First you make us curious, and then you keep quiet. Maybe you're not an adult after all." The others had already noticed that the former soldier enjoyed needling his new companions. But so far it had always been done in a friendly tone."Perhaps you'd like to tell us what turned you from a child into a man, Will," John tried again to get out of what was obviously an uncomfortable situation for him.Will, perhaps guessing what the other man did not want to talk about, just grinned even wider. "Not like that, my friend. First you, then me. When we ‘ave found out when your childhood ended, I'll tell you what it was like for me. But first it's your turn."John sighed again. But then he straightened up and looked around."You're among friends here," Robin tried to encourage him. He was curious, but he did not want John to feel rushed. Still, he would like it if the other man continued to talk, as he had realized that this could be a good opportunity to get to know each other better. And to bring the group closer together.John, however, had probably come to the conclusion that he had no choice. And he could not blame anyone for his situation, since he had gotten himself into it."I don't remember exactly, I think I was fifteen or sixteen. But it was Beltane..." he began. "It was a lovely night, but you know how it is..." He blushed again.Will grinned knowingly, Robin nodded, and Tuck looked down a little embarrassed, while Marion covered her mouth with her hand, perhaps so that no one would see that she was also smiling.But Much was not the only one who looked confused. The newest addition to their group also seemed to have no idea what Beltane was all about. But the man would not ask any questions, he would just keep listening and probably learn what he had missed so far.Much did not have that option. His curiosity - and his ignorance - forced him to ask a question."What is it, John?""Well, it's Beltane, Much." It was obvious that the former shepherd did not want to elaborate, but it was also obvious that the younger man did not understand what he was talking about. John sighed."Well, eating and drinking and dancing and... girls and boys..." he began, blushing again. It was evident that he was uncomfortable having to explain everything in detail."Girls and boys..." Much repeated, still showing a questioning look. But suddenly a blush appeared on his face as well. "You mean... boys and girls who..." Now he was the one who could not continue.Will giggled. "Right, Much, girls and boys. You do know what a girl is, don't you?" Again he could not hold back. And he upped the ante. "You do know that boys and girls are different, don't you?" He grinned.Much's face turned even redder, but this time it seemed to have nothing to do with the fact that he was uncomfortable with the subject. Instead, his anger seemed to have resurfaced."I'm not a child anymore," he exclaimed, and that brought them back to the subject they had hoped to have left behind.Robin sighed, probably thinking he had to intervene. Both to calm Much down and to save John from an embarrassing situation. "John, are you telling us that you thought you were an adult after your first time with a girl?" Then he blushed himself, having forgotten for a moment that there was a Lady among them. He gave Marion a furtive look, but she did not seem to find his words inappropriate. Her expression showed nothing but curiosity. Robin sighed again, but this time in relief."'e was probably just cuddling," came - naturally - from Will again. But the deep blush on John's face proved that it must have been more than that.It was Tuck who now felt that he had to do something before the bearded man got upset by the former soldier's words. Even if the monk suspected that they would have to endure more of these barbs in the future."Now that we finally know when John considered himself a man, you should tell us, Will, what it was like for you. I bet it involved a girl, too."Robin was grateful to Tuck for speaking up and reminding Will that he had wanted to say something, as well. However, he did not believe that Will's story was about a girl. When he saw the other man's expression change, he realized that he was right."You shouldn't bet, Monk, you'd lose," Will replied in a much more serious tone. "It's not a nice memory, but I think you need to 'ear it. But remember, Monk, when I'm done, it's your turn."Tuck, who had managed to keep a smile on his face despite the former soldier's unusually serious words, just nodded.That seemed to be enough for Will, who immediately began to speak. "I was just a boy when I ran away from 'ome," he began. "I thought I was a man by then, of course, but I was wrong. I wanted to get some experience, to stop working in the tavern, to stop 'elping my father, to stop fighting with my brother." He paused. "I didn't want to see the girl I thought I loved making out with someone else.""So it was about a girl," Much interrupted."It's always about a girl," John chimed in, obviously glad that the attention had shifted to Will."No, it wasn't about a girl," he snapped now. Then he took a deep breath and continued in a calmer tone. "I wanted to join the army because I thought fighting was the greatest thing. I was always in the middle of every ... brawl and I thought that's what soldiers did all the time. I never thought about swords and stuff like that. So I thought the army was just where I'd like to be." He fell silent."And did you find the army?" John wanted to know.At first it seemed as if Will had not heard his question, as he just kept staring into the fire. But then he looked up and turned to the former shepherd."Yes, I found the army. And I didn't understand why the soldiers thought I should go back 'ome. They didn't want me, and that made me angry. I don't know why, but I was allowed to stay. Probably because they always needed 'elping 'ands. For work that had nothing to do with fighting. But I also learned what it meant to be a soldier. I learned about all the weapons. 'ow to 'andle a sword. What to do with a dagger. 'ow to use a crossbow. It was ... exhilarating.""Was that when you became a man?" asked Much, who had been listening to the other with his mouth open. That was a very different life from the one he had led."I thought so, Much," Will admitted with a strange look on his face. He actually gave the impression that he regretted something. But that did not last long."The troop that took me in wasn't involved in any fighting at the time. All I saw were the usual arguments and brawls I knew from 'ome. I thought my new life wouldn't be much different from my old one. The only thing missing was my father, who told me to work, and my brother, who bullied me. But then... we met the soldiers of another noble. And they thought they were better than us because their Lord had an 'igher rank than ours. Or something like that. I 'adn't really paid attention to whose crest we were wearing. I didn't know. But the others were arrogant and wanted nothing to 'ave to do with us. There was a fight." He fell silent again, but this time none of the others wanted to speak up.Robin managed to catch a glimpse of every face in the group. Much sat with his mouth open. Marion had lost her smile. John looked at Will with interest, while Tuck frowned. He seemed to dislike something. Then Robin looked at the man who had joined them last and was surprised to see something like sympathy on his face. But the next moment he was no longer sure he had seen anything, and then Will continued."I was so naive that I thought we would brawl and then everything would be fine and everyone would go their separate ways. But what 'appened next was a real fight, something I'd never seen before. And something I 'ad never imagined. The others came at us as if we were the enemy we set out to fight. They came at us with swords, axes, and daggers. And we 'ad to defend ourselves in the same way if we wanted to stay alive. The enemy must 'ave 'ad a good laugh that day, because many soldiers lost their lives. I was almost one of them. It was pure luck that I wasn't killed in the first few moments. Then my anger got the better of me and I went after the others. But for me, fighting was still something you did with your fists. I had only forgotten for a moment what was in my fist. Until my sword was suddenly in another man's body. 'is gasp was the only sound I could 'ear. The look of disbelief in his eyes was the only thing I could see. And again, it was only luck that allowed me to survive as I stood petrified. In the middle of a battle. That was the day I grew up, Much. And I know you've never experienced anything like it."The former soldier fell silent again, and Robin knew he would say no more. But no one else wanted to say anything either, not even Much, and for a while there was an awkward silence around the fire.Finally, Tuck cleared his throat."I've lived in the monastery as long as I can remember," he began quietly. He had obviously not been able to tear himself away from what Will had told them. But it was apparent that he wanted to keep his word and talk about the experience that had made him an adult. At least in his own eyes."I don't remember any life before the monastery, no family except the monks I grew up with, who taught me everything they thought I needed for my later life. A life in the monastery, as a monk, the way they led it. And I agreed, after all, that was all I knew. I waited for the day when I could take my vows and be no different from the others."Tuck paused and smoothed the fabric of his habit as if caressing someone before he continued. "I didn't want to admit that I was different, but I was, for I could never stop myself from asking questions. When I was younger, I would ask these questions out loud, which earned me many a reprimand and punishment. But my curiosity also led me to learn to read and to discover the monastery library, and so I found that it was not a sin to ask questions. But I had learned not to pose them aloud, and I no longer needed to, since I could now find the answers in the books. And I made ample use of them. This set me even further apart from the others. It wasn't usual for a novice to be in the library so often. They only let me get away with it because I didn't neglect my other duties to the monastery - and to God."The monk paused again, but this time he seemed to want to clear his thoughts before continuing."I had never given much thought to the people living outside the monastery, believing that I had nothing in common with them. But I was wrong, which I only realized when I entered a phase of my life where I questioned everything. What I had learned, how I had lived, what my future should be. Should I become a monk? Was this really the life God had called me to lead? I began to doubt when I first came into contact with people I had previously ignored. And when I realized for the first time that they were no different from those of us who lived in the monastery, despite what the monks had always told me. That was the first time I realized how lucky I was to have grown up in the monastery. And I saw for the first time the injustice that dominated other people's lives. I began to doubt whether becoming a monk was really the right path for me, since I now saw it as closing my eyes to the world. Did I really want to serve a God who allowed this injustice when I had learned that the world was just?"The monk's voice, which had been soft and gentle, suddenly became firmer. And he spoke louder."I thought I would find the solution to my problem in the library, where I had always found what I was looking for. But not this time. Then I suddenly remembered that I had been taught to overcome my doubts through prayer, and in my desperation I turned to that path, even though I was no longer convinced that it was the right one. I prayed and fasted..."At this point Will was unable to contain himself and he snorted, but apart from the sounds of the fire and the woods at night, that was all that could be heard besides Tuck's voice."...and then came a day when I had the impression of being wrapped in a warm light. A day came when all my doubts were blown away. When I finally realized that I could become a monk without turning away from the injustice of the world. A day came when I was sure that this was the path God had planned for me. And I realized that I had reached adulthood, for I had found my vocation." He sighed. And then he added something else. "I had no idea where this path would take me, but I know it's still what God has planned for me."It took a moment for the others to realize that he was not going to continue. And it took even longer before any of them could bring themselves to speak.Robin had just decided to reveal something about himself when Marion, of all people, beat him to it."It's a little strange to think that life in the monastery made you want to go out into the world, Brother Tuck, since for me the convent was always a refuge from it. I hoped to be able to turn away from that which troubled me, that which I felt threatened by. For me, the convent was always the only place that could offer me protection after I was left alone in the world. After my father abandoned me."The sadness was not only audible in her voice, but visible on her face. Robin suddenly understood how much her father's death had shaken her. She had only mentioned it to him in passing, and he had thought he could understand how she felt, since he had also lost his father. But this was obviously not the case, for he now realized that she must have felt this loss much more keenly than he had. Besides, there had been someone in his life who had at least tried to accept him into his family. Marion, on the other hand, had only the two men who had taken responsibility for her, Robert and Hugo de Rainault. And who were really only interested in her property. At least that was what Tuck had told him, and now Robin realized that the monk had not been wrong.Then Marion went on. "But I didn't realize until recently that my father had really left me only when I learned of his death, even though I hadn't seen him for a long time. I always thought he left me the day he went to the Holy Land to fight alongside his king. I didn't realize that he was still with me. He was still in my heart and in my thoughts, even though I struggled all the time with the fact that the King seemed to be more important to him than his daughter. Even though he had always assured me that he would take care of me as long as it was necessary."Apparently, she felt no different than John, Will, and Tuck had felt before, for when she reached a point that particularly affected her, she was unable to continue for a moment."I didn't understand that my father considered me an adult when he left England. He trusted me to take responsibility for Leaford Grange until he returned. Now I know he was right. When he left, I was no longer a child, I was already grown up. And if he had returned, he would have been proud of me. He didn't leave me, he let me go. He left me later, but that wasn't his fault."When she fell silent, Robin dared to look at her. Expecting to see tears on her face, he was surprised to see her smile. Then he found the courage to put his hand on her arm and she looked at him."Do you still want to enter the convent, Marion?" he could not resist asking.She blushed but shook her head. "I don't think it's right for me anymore. But thanks to you, I've found another option." Her smile deepened. And then a telltale glint came into her eyes."Now it's your turn, Robin!"At first he had no idea what she meant, and it must have shown on his face, for snorts, giggles and laughter could be heard around the fire."Come on, Robin, you 'ave to tell us about when you thought you were grown up," Will urged him."We've all revealed something about ourselves," Tuck added.Robin sighed, but realized that it would not be fair for him to remain silent. And it would do nothing to bring the group closer together."Was it about a girl?" asked Much, who had been silent for a long time. The stories of the others had obviously fascinated him, but now it was about someone he thought he knew well. So he could not imagine Robin talking about fighting or God. And he had not understood what Marion had been talking about. Besides, he suddenly found the subject of girls very interesting.Robin had to laugh. "No, Much, it had nothing to do with a girl. Actually, I was alone when I experienced what made me an adult in my eyes. It also had nothing to do with another person." Now it was his turn to be silent for a moment, for suddenly he was no longer sure if this was really true. But he certainly did not want to talk about it."You may not be able to imagine it, but it has something to do with this place. With these woods. Sherwood is something that plays an important role in the lives of the people around here. The woods provide food and wood and help us survive, even when our Masters try to take it away. But the woods have always frightened people, because there are parts where you can disappear without a trace. And there are powers that are not to be tampered with. That is why many are wary and unsure when they enter Sherwood."He looked around and saw in the faces of the others that he was not wrong. Nor had he forgotten how Tom and Dickon had reacted when he suggested they seek shelter in the woods."I don't remember much about the time before I came to the mill, but I know my father wasn't afraid of the woods. But in my new family, I heard tales that taught me to avoid Sherwood. A lot of it may have been the miller's need to keep two curious and fearless boys from doing something stupid, but some of it I'm sure he believed himself. But that never stopped Much and me from going into the woods. And it wasn't just for food, which we could always use. It wasn't for wood either. Sherwood was the place where we could be someone else, at least in our imaginations. Someone the Normans couldn't push around. At least that's the way it was for me."He looked at Much. "I never asked you why you came to the woods with me, Much. I apologize for that."His foster brother opened his mouth as if to say something, but you could tell he had no idea what Robin was apologizing for, so for once he remained silent.Robin realized that the younger man was not going to say anything at this point, so he continued: "I loved the woods, and I was never afraid when I was there. No matter how far I went into them. But for a long time I followed my foster father's instructions never to spend a night in Sherwood. Until one day I wandered too far from the mill to return before dark. When I realized this, I felt all sorts of things. At first a slight fear, for I remembered well all that I had been told. But that didn't last long, and then my curiosity kicked in, and I looked forward to learning something new. And then I spent my first night in Sherwood and was filled with a sense of wonder and awe. And the certainty that everything I had been told about the woods was not true. That was the day I stopped being a child who needed to be told what to do by others."When Robin stopped talking, he suddenly realized that he had never told anyone about that night. He had always thought it was a private matter. But now he understood that it was right to talk about it. His friends needed to hear it from him.And then he understood that the other people sitting around the fire were not just people that fate had brought him together with, nor were they just comrades-in-arms. They were truly his friends. All of them. Even the stranger who had been silent the whole time.Robin smiled."I'm sure you still have your coming-of-age moment ahead of you, Much," he said then, kindly. "Even if we haven't heard everyone yet." Now his gaze wandered to the man of whom he knew little more than his name.Nasir.The other returned his gaze without looking away. He certainly felt no fear. But Robin was not sure if he would comply with the request to talk.But then the Saracen actually began to speak. "It is not hard to imagine what made you adults. Even what Robin has experienced. What separated me from the days of my childhood was similar to his. It was something that taught me to wonder. But also the awe that Brother Tuck felt. It was the day I felt I was part of a larger community, a member of a larger family. When I was no longer alone."That was all he said. And everyone knew they would hear no more. But it was already more words than he had spoken in the whole time he had been with them."Well," Tuck cleared his throat. "I think Robin is right in what he said. But in my opinion, that doesn't mean Much shouldn't still take on duties."He looked around and saw that the others all agreed with him. The monk felt a sense of belonging that he had never felt before, and he realized that his fear of being in these woods had completely disappeared.Moreover, he was now certain that the others felt the same way. As friends, they would get through anything together. No matter what. ******************************** In the tiny, barren chamber provided for the young knight here in Nottingham, he had been trying to fall asleep for quite some time. But he found it difficult, for as soon as he closed his eyes, the memory of the humiliation that Robin Hood had inflicted on him returned.And how the Sheriff and his brother had heaped more shame on him.Gisburne felt that he had been treated more than unfairly, for in his opinion it was not his fault that the outlaw had escaped. Not for what had happened here in the castle - after all, it was not he who had been duped by him - nor for what had happened in the forest - unlike the Sheriff's soldiers, he had not fled - nor with the plan to kill Hood - after all, most of the outlaws had been killed in the fight.But the Sheriff refused to acknowledge any of this. He insisted that Gisburne had let this Hood escape, and that was all that mattered. He also made no secret of his opinion that the knight himself was to blame for everything that had happened to him.It suddenly dawned on the young man that his life had not changed for the better, even though he had high hopes for his new position. Unfortunately, he realized that he could not do right by the Abbot, who always made him feel it. And his brother was not squeamish either.Then his exhaustion began to set in, and without wanting to, his thoughts returned to an earlier time. To a time when he could still see his mistakes as the failures of others, even if they were actually his own.In his mind, he returned to a time when he was still a child.But he remained a child only until he had to learn - with the vigorous help of his stepfather - that he should never assume he could live out his dreams. He was only a child until the day he found out who he really was.No one.On that day, he became an adult even though he was still in a child's body.Finally, sleep overcame the young man and pushed away all memories of the end of childhood.