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The night was stretched out before them. They had nowhere else they needed to be, nowhere they could go. After exploring Ash's hometown, it was impossible not to feel a profound sense of sadness at everything that had been stacked up against Ash and his family. To learn just what had happened to him as a kid, to know that it kept happening at the hands of Dino, left Eiji with a melancholic feeling that ached deep in his bones. So, there was not much to be said, it seemed, after everything that they had been through together so far. There were no words to truly capture the pain of the experiences Ash had faced as a child, and yet, Eiji had wanted to try. Eiji had wanted so desperately to give Ash just a small amount of the peace and joy that could come with growing up, after all that he had been given was pain and anguish instead of that. So Eiji decided to ask Max about traditional American experiences that night, to see what would be something that he and Ash could revel in due to their lack of familiarity with it. Tomorrow, while they waited for the truck to be ready Ash was going to go on a small journey with Eiji, through the town of Cape Cod, out of the seclusion of where he grew up and into a past he never got to have but was going to experience for the first time tomorrow.Eiji sighed as he sat up from where he was lying on the floor. There hadn't been enough beds, but Eiji was used to the traditional method of sleeping on the floor. Even if he hadn't done it every night in Japan, it was common to do it when they had family visiting or friends sleeping over for the night. He looked over to where Shunichi and Max were sleeping on the bed, and decided that it would be okay to interrupt his slumber for a little bit in order to ensure that tomorrow could be the best day possible. Not only that, but Eiji needed to talk to Max, to see what his perspective was as somebody who had witnessed levels of violence in Vietnam that rivaled Ash's own experiences with it. He wanted to gain some insight, some understanding, into what exactly it felt like so he could understand Ash just a little bit better.Not only that, but Eiji could feel something deep inside him yearning to spend more time with Ash, wanting to envision a future with him. Even if it would be hard, albeit nearly impossible, Eiji wanted that. He wanted something with Ash he couldn't put his finger on, couldn't quantify, yet it was still there, bubbling beneath the surface. "Max?" Eiji whispered beside his ear, lightly tapping his shoulder. He started awake, his eyes searching for some kind of threat in the darkness, but found none when his eyes locked on Eiji."Oh," Max breathed a sigh of relief. "Hey Eiji, what are you still doing up?""I wanted...to talk to you, if that's alright," "Yeah, yeah," Max eagerly agreed. "Of course, man, I'm happy to chat, you know." He sat up and began to rub the sleep from his eyes. "So what did you want to talk about?" Max questioned once they arrived outside, shivering in the light jackets they had brought, since they didn't think that it would be as cold as it was up north in the nighttime. "I wanted to talk about Ash," Eiji admitted, his cheeks blooming with pink. He realized how silly that sounded, how embarrassing it was to be so focused on this boy he had only met just a short while ago, by this point. While he had hoped that it would be possible to get to know him better, and he was doing that, he didn't necessarily know him now, so his investment was silly and unfounded, it felt like. Then again, when you hear of something as painful as what Ash had been through, how could you not be invested? Eiji wondered. "Oh, of course, Eiji," Max's voice softened, the way it always seemed to, even by now, when he was talking about Ash and the tragedy of his life. "I'm worried about him too, you know, after everything that we learned today," "I know, that made me really upset to hear, especially about how..." Eiji paused, searching for the right words in the darkness before him. While the whole world around them was illuminated by the light of the stars and moon, it was hard to see still. "How he had to kill that man, at such a young age, just to survive.""Yeah," Max agreed. "It isn't fair that he went through that," Eiji began to shake from the cold and from the profundity of his feelings about these things. He was so passionate about how Ash had deserved none of what he had gone through, even if it was hard for Ash to see that for himself."No, no it is not fair at all," Max pulled out a carton of cigarettes and a book of matches from his pocket. He deftly flicked the match against the flint on the book and lit the cigarette, taking a long drag as soon as it was. He exhaled smoothly and slowly, closing his eyes, his face illuminated by the porch light behind him."I wonder how something like that could even happen to someone, as many times as it did," he questioned, desperately wanting an answer to this suffering and pain and how a human being could put another one through this."Unfortunately that seems to be how it usually goes, Eiji. I mean, I've known this for the women in my life, at least, that once it happened to them once it was like a domino effect of bad situations piled up one after the other," Max explained with resignation, as if he was already defeated by it."Domino effect? I do not know this phrasing," Eiji admitted. "Oh, sorry. Well, dominoes are this game typically played in South America, but really played everywhere, and it's those squares with dots on them, you know?" he flicked his hand holding the cigarette around, taking a drag once he paused his explanation. "Oh, I see, the ones that people set up to fall right after the other, right?" "Exactly, exactly," "I'm so, I'm so sad, Max," Eiji sighed. A tear flitted out of his eye and he wiped it away immediately, not wanting to swell up with too much sadness in front of the seemingly stoic Max Lobo, who could get through anything. "I've felt sad like this before, but I still do not know how to deal with it, not at all,""I'm sorry, Eiji. Truly I am. I know the feeling, especially after losing so many of my friends, just like that, in Vietnam," "I cannot imagine losing so many people all at once," he decided that he was finally ready to tell somebody this. "My father, he, has passed away, and that is the other time I felt such a sadness," "Oh, Eiji," Max's voice softened significantly, "I know how hard that is to go through, and I didn't even go through it at your young age, I'm sorry,""Thank you, Max, I really appreciate that," He looked over at Max who was staring straight ahead, evidently more uncomfortable with these bigger feelings than Eiji was. This made sense, they had grown up in different generations and different worlds. "I know Ash knows what that is like too; even if he didn't really know his mother, that loss is still big,""Yeah, unfortunately I feel like Ash feels like he wasn't really raised by anyone, not really," now Max took the time to look at Eiji as he tossed his cigarette to the ground and crushed it beneath his feet. There was that same melancholy resting behind his eyes, as if it had arrived one day and never left, unceasingly increasing with all of the new tragedies coming his way. "I know he feels like Griff did, at least for the beginning of his life," "Oh, yeah, well Griff also felt that way, in reverse," Max agreed. "I am so sad for Ash about Griff," the tears began now for Eiji and they just did not stop. "Me too, Eiji, I miss Griff too, a lot, and I have for many years, I know it must be so hard on Ash," Eiji noticed Max was wiping tears away now himself. "Yeah, well, that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about, is how to make it easier on Ash,""Oh, yeah?""Yeah, well, I uh, I wanted to ask if you had any ideas for fun things you Americans do in your childhood. I know you don't know this place well, but-" Max interrupted Eiji before he explained himself any further, as if it wasn't needed. "Oh, no worries about that, I've got some ideas, and I've been here before, looking for Ash," he admitted, blushing a little bit, as if it was embarrassing to care about Griff's kid brother so much. "Oh, really?""Yeah, uh, after I was discharged from Vietnam, I tried to find Ash because I had no idea who was taking care of him. Griff told me about how Jim was, and he didn't even know about this fucking bullshit with the Blue Beard of Cape Cod," "That was very kind of you," Eiji smiled at Max, who grinned back, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Thanks, I mean, it was the least I could fuckin' do after what I had had to do," The smile faded from Max's face. "What did...what did you have to do?" Eiji wondered, anxiety clawing at his throat and filling his stomach with dread. He had an idea, but nobody had explicitly spelled it out for him before. "I had to shoot Griff; I'm the reason that he was paralyzed." Max couldn't make eye contact, couldn't even face forward, as he said this; he had to look away completely."Oh," Eiji responded, not fully processing what Max had said. When he did, all he could say was the same word, with more weight behind his realization. " Oh," "Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but he killed everyone in my unit, hopped up on some crazy drug or something. It was us or him," Max said definitively, as if he had to believe this in order to live with it himself. "I guess so; I cannot say that I would have done anything differently," Eiji decided that that had to be true, that he wasn't saying it just to comfort Max, but truly meant that he didn't know what else he would have done. "Yeah, I really wish there had been another way, I really do," Max sighed, pulling out another cigarette. "Me too," he agreed. They talked late into the night, about their desires for Ash's future and their plans for the next day. Eiji admitted he had some feelings towards Ash, and Max encouraged him to embrace them. It was surprising coming from Max, but Eiji was grateful for the reassurance. At the end of their conversation, turning in around two or three in the morning, according to Max's watch, Eiji felt ready for the day before them, and whatever it might bring. "Where are you taking me, man?" Ash grumbled, his hand connecting with Eiji's as they walked down the street. They were both wearing jean cutoffs and oversized t-shirts they had found in Griff's closet, things he must have left behind when he went off to fight in Vietnam. "Just wait, Ash," as they approached an alleyway, a fence separating the building and alley from a field, and a river on the far side of it. Eiji had decided not to blindfold Ash; he didn't want to make him panic, even if it could spoil the surprise a little bit."Oh, the river. There's a-" Ash jumped to explain, only for Eiji to interrupt with excitement himself. "Yeah, a swing, and a little pool, away from the river," He couldn't shake the stupid grin on his face, and noticed that Ash was struggling to contain a smile as well. "Wanna go for a swim?"Ash blushed. "I don't have any swim trunks," he looked away, loosening his grip on Eiji's hand. "That's okay, it's more fun to swim in our shorts," Eiji held his hand back out to Ash, trying to reassure him even further by telling Ash, "And we don't have to take our shirts off either, I think it would be fun," His eyes brightened up significantly, the redness unfurling from his cheeks. "Oh, okay, if you're cool with that," "Of course, Ash," Eiji affirmed softly. Ash took his hand and they ran across the field, tearing their shoes off as they did so. Eiji jumped in first, his shirt and shorts bogging him down slightly, but he would have done anything to give Ash the space to be comfortable in an experience like this. He remembered all the time he spent traveling to the beach with his parents and sister, how they would go into the ocean for hours, only emerging to drink water, thirsty from the saltwater in the body of it they had just left. Ash hesitated at the shore, but Eiji beckoned for him to come in, exclaiming that the "Water was fine," leaving a slightly upturned tick at the edge of his mouth. "Geronimo!" He yelled, making a splash that got Eiji's hair wet, emerging from beneath the water with a huge smile on his face, the likes of which Eiji hadn't seen since they arrived in Cape Cod. "Geronimo?" Eiji asked, curious about this phrase he hadn't heard before. "He was a general or something, it's just something that we say when he jump into water here," Ash wiped the hair out of his face. "Oh, I see." He splashed Ash and screamed, "Geronimo!" He was trying to be playful, but realized he may have misunderstood. "No, no," Ash cackled, "That's not how you use it, Eiji,""Oh," Eiji blushed, "My bad," "All good. I'll show you another time, I just gotta ask you a question, first," "Yes, Ash?" Eiji cooed, his stomach filling with cement as he feared Ash could tell his motives, and the surprise would be ruined. "Why are you doin' all this sorta' stuff?" Ash wondered, his brows furrowing and mouth curling down at the ends, "I mean, why'd you bring me here?"Eiji thought carefully about what he wanted to say next. He didn't want Ash thinking he had any ulterior motives, or that he was expecting anything in return for this. Yet, at the same time, Eiji knew that's exactly what Ash had to be thinking. "It may hard to accept this, Ash, but truly, I want to give you some memories that are happy,""But, why? What kinda' trick are you pulling?" "No trick, Ash, no trick at all. I just know you ran away when you were young and didn't get to experience these things very often,""Oh," Ash's features softened at hearing this, opening up at least a little bit towards Eiji now. He was at least trying to trust him, it seemed. Even if he had a difficult time with trusting people, he was at least going to try to do so with Eiji. "Yeah, Ash, today I just want you to...relax. To have fun, because I know you missed out on many things, I want to experience those things with you,"Ash's lips upturned at the edges slightly, and his teeth showed a little bit, as he hesitantly began to open up to Eiji and the experiences that he was planning on them having today, "Oh, okay, well, that's very nice," he looked down at the water they were both treading in. "Well, have you ever played a game called Marco Polo?" He looked up at Eiji excitedly, their eyes meeting. Eiji couldn’t really tell if Ash was blushing or developing sunburn, his freckles glimmering against the sunlight, but he thought it was cute. It caused his own cheeks to turn red. "No I haven't, wanna show me how to play?" "Sure," Ash grinned mischievously, and splashed Eiji with water, beginning a laugh that echoed across the river like rocks skipping across its surface. Ash was feeling grateful, somehow, even after everything else that he had gone through. He was feeling grateful for Eiji Okumura, a boy from Japan who didn't know much about his world but was trying to understand it. He was grateful for the ways that Eiji was trying to make Ash happy, even if it was hard, even if it came with pain and difficulty, and navigating the anxieties Ash couldn't seem to control. However, as Ash was beginning to learn more about Eiji, the less anxious he became. He learned about Eiji's father, how he lost him shortly before arriving here, how that had impacted his experiences with pole vaulting. He didn't want to press much further, knowing how painful that loss could be for someone, having experienced it himself with his mom and his brother. But he knew one day he would hear so much more about Eiji's past in Japan, even possibly being there to share his future with him there as well. No, that was silly, Ash thought to himself. He couldn't think about a future with Eiji when their present was so uncertain, when he barely even knew this boy at all. At the same time, something in him couldn't stop dreaming about a life of domestic bliss with him, of sharing a bed and a kitchen and meals together. It sounded like a dream, and it was one that Ash couldn't stop having. "Ash, where did you go?" Eiji cheekily questioned, looking up at him as he lay in the grass before Ash, his shirt off as he dried it, dangling it from the tree they were laying in the shade of, having just left the river. "Oh, you know, I was thinking about some things, I guess," Ash's cheeks burned from even more than the sunburn spread across his cheeks. He rubbed the back of his head and grimaced at the thought of explaining his desires to Eiji, afraid what Eiji may think of them. "I'm having a really good time, you know," "I am too, Ash, and I'm glad that you are having a good time as well." Ash continued to think about their future. If there was one, if Eiji wanted one as well. He was so bold, so daring, in so many ways. Yet the thing that scared him the most was getting close to someone else, the fear of having to let them go one day so grand it was hard to hold onto them to begin with. He thought about having a child with Eiji, even, raising them with joys not unlike days like today. It was easy to forget all the burdens of his past when his present was so pleasant here, with Eiji beside him. "I am, I really am," Ash smiled softly, his eyes softening at the sight of Eiji soaking up the sun on the edge of the shade of the tree. He was sitting up, his shirt wet and sticky against his skin; he was anxious to take it off. Ash was just beginning to muster up the courage to take it off in front of Eiji because he knew there were likely no ulterior motives; he could trust Eiji with this part of himself, and wanted to. It was hard to know why he felt so safe, so comfortable, around him, but it was making him feel more like embracing than rejecting it. Maybe it was finally time to give in to somebody else's kindness towards him, even if there was a risk involved in doing so. Sliding the shirt off, he noticed Eiji noticing him and blushing, looking away nervously. Ash chuckled, deciding to let Eiji in by warmly agreeing, "It's okay, you don't have to look away," "Oh, okay, thank you, Ash, I appreciate you trusting me," Eiji's cheeks were as red as an apple. He rolled over on his side and looked up at Ash, who was sitting up against the tree, pushing the hair out of his eyes. "I mean, you've shown me it's okay to trust you," Ash admitted, looking away as his own cheeks became pink. There was so much blushing when he was around Eiji, and with his pale skin it was hard to hide it.
"I hope that I have, and I hope that I can continue to," "You know, Eiji," Ash sighed, rubbing his face anxiously, as if it were going to rub all of the feelings away. He didn't know what he was going to say until he actually said it, "I um, really like you," he clamped his hand over his mouth and shook his head. "Oh my God, I didn't mean to admit that right now. It's um, it's okay if you don't-'' he extended his hand out as if to stop whatever rejection Eiji was going to respond with, but instead was interrupted with a surprise, at least, to him.
"You know, Ash, I have been afraid to say it, because I didn't know how you felt, but I really like you too," Eiji turned away, evidently abashed. "I want you to be happy, I want what is best for you; it has been hard to face my own feelings towards you, but I cannot deny that they are there," "Oh. Well, what kind of feelings do you have towards me?" "I want to-" Eiji paused, clearly thinking very carefully about what the right thing to say was, and Ash was grateful for that, "I want to have a future with you, of some kind. Whatever that looks like, for you, for me, whatever that is,""I see," Ash settled more securely into himself, realizing that this was the first time anybody had spoken of such a thing with him by asking him what he wanted, instead of telling them that there was one way things were allowed to be and he'd have no say in it, "I guess, I don't really know what I want, besides that I want that too," "I am glad to hear that, Ash," Eiji smiled and sat up, moving his way to sit beside Ash, their knees and shoulders beginning to touch. "Is that okay?" "Yeah it is," Ash nodded nervously, his heart fluttering and his stomach aching. It felt like a good ache, though, like something he desperately wanted to keep feeling instead of throwing up in revulsion to get rid of it. This was new, and Ash was just beginning to embrace it. He decided to take Eiji's hand again, like they had when Eiji was leading him to the river. "Oh, is that okay, too, Ash?" Eiji questioned, his eyebrows turning up with hardly contained excitement. His breathing had begun to thicken, as had Ash's. They gazed at each other, the longing present, he could tell, on both of their faces. "That is okay, too," Ash agreed. His breath became even heavier as they moved closer to each other, their foreheads beginning to touch, their cheeks so red they were practically fire engines displaying their desire to one another as clearly as it could even be shown. "I think, I think I am ready," Ash muttered, closing his eyes. He couldn't see Eiji's expression, but could hear some desire burning in his voice as he asked him, "Ready for what, Ash?" "To kiss you," Ash exclaimed, and leaned in to connect his lips with Eiji's, who was hesitant at first, but as Ash fell further into it so did Eiji, as they both began to melt into each other's touch, grabbing onto the other's arm as they found their way towards each other. It was a brilliant clash of so many emotions, pent up over the past few weeks that were releasing in their hold against one another, their lack of ability to let go.
Eiji was the one to do so first, catching his breath, less familiar with this, not as aware of the ways to keep breathing at the same time his lips were pressed against another's. His breaths were shaky, his entire face dusted with pink. "That was nice," Ash reassured him, as Eiji searched for whatever Ash must have been feeling in his eyes. "It was, it was really nice, Eiji," "I'm so glad," Eiji grinned toothily, looking away in embarrassment. "Was that your...first kiss?" Ash questioned. He knew it must have been, because of how embarrassed Eiji seemed to be at the one in prison."Yes, I must admit that it was," Eiji nuzzled his forehead into Ash's neck, holding onto his shoulder gently. "It was nice, Ash, and I am happy you are comfortable enough to do that with me," "I am, Eiji, I am realizing that I really am," Ash admitted, as he pulled Eiji's face back up to be level with his own, using two fingers gently beneath his chin to do so. "Thank you, for such an amazing day," his eyes found Eiji's and he did not ever want to break his gaze with him. "Of course, Ash," Eiji smiled. "But just you wait, it isn't over yet," "Oh?""Yeah, we have more to do," Eiji stood up, releasing himself from Ash's hold on him, leaving Ash to feel a bit empty without Eiji close to him anymore. He smiled when Eiji extended his hand to help Ash stand up. And they did. They spent the rest of the day exploring the town closest to Ash's old home in Cape Cod, eating greasy American food and drinking oversized sodas together. Eiji had mixed together Dr. Pepper and Grape Soda, but didn't particularly enjoy the combination, leaving Ash to sip on it and trade his own cola with Eiji. They simply enjoyed the day together, careful to not hold hands in public, but knowing that they both wanted to, giving subtle smiles and nods to each other at each opportunity. It was truly a beautiful day, and Ash felt like he was getting to be a child again, as if Eiji had truly given him that gift, and that was something Ash would be forever grateful for, for the rest of his life. He hoped that he would be with Eiji for it, even if that was terrifying to admit. Even if it was scary to want it, he knew what he wanted was for Eiji to be there for his future, because of how peaceful he made the present. How everything seemed to fall away in his presence, all the painful memories, all the strife and anguish, and Ash was able to, at least for now, be a little kid again. That was one of the greatest gifts anyone had ever given him, and he would be grateful for it forever.