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Amame was in a terrible mood, an awful mood. She’d been like that all day. There was a lot of reasons for that.
It still feels gross. It still feels shameful, wrong. All that I’ve done. But I still hate him.
She felt the stain of what had happened, and she felt angry and bitter. Toward Tearer and herself.
Wasn’t there anything I could’ve done differently? Was there a way that I couldn’t have ended up here, feeling like I’ve failed my family and friends?
Maybe. As much as she hated the feeling of having killed, the idea of not doing what she did also had a repulsion to it. Could she have really have just let Tearer do what he did, talk about what he did in the disgusting way he did? But, whatever answer could be made towards her feelings, she had to keep on living her ordinary life. Shoma still needs support. Iris and Mizuki too, though less so, that being more a matter of purely emotional support.It wasn’t like she hadn’t had rough days before. She’d had more than enough, particularly from her mermaid maid job. She’d mastered the skills needed for her job, could be called a pro, but she hated it. She liked her sort of boss, Mizuki, but the place? She had some decent coworkers. But, if she had the means to earn a lot of money some other way, she’d possibly never go back there. Still, the bad days from that alone, from other things on that level, weren’t like those from after Tearer died. After she killed him.She toyed with her cup, then looked at the only person in the restaurant with her, it’s owner. It’s superbly skilled owner. But she didn’t feel like eating, or much like chatting either. Gen was clearly confused and worried at her state, despite focusing on his work. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t share the truth.
It’s too awful, and his own life has enough problems.
Gen was currently working on preparing storable food items, getting certain items ready to be more quickly servable or combined into dishes, a pleasant thing for her to watch, though he suddenly stopped.“I’ll have to replenish the fridge”, he said contemplatively.Yes, because his freezer was broken, so he had to rely on a smaller and less long lasting storage method. Because of her. He didn’t know that, of course, that half of a person’s body was in his freezer, and that she’d done her best to make sure no one would be getting at it.
I’ve betrayed him.
She felt her mood sour further. Yes, this was going to be a day where it was harder than usual to push aside her troubles and act normally.“Amame?”He’d noticed her react, surely, noticed her mood change. She was screwing up.
Like I have the luxury to do so after having killed someone.
“How about a game?”, Gen then proposed.“Huh?”.Amame was momentarily surprised, from the mental jolt. But why he’d offered that was obvious, and kind of him. Yes, Genny was always like that, in spite of everything. He had a strong kindness to him.
So, what will my answer be?
“Well...hmm”.He, like her actual father, could share this with her. They had shared that, an affection for playing quiz like games. Unlike her dad, a former shining quiz star, Gen’s interest came more from her interest. But it wasn’t like he had no interest in, or ability to have fun from quiz games. He was capable. Maybe less than her in this dubiously useful area and less than her father, but enough for them to play. It was one of a number of ways that Gen was considerate, supportive and felt strong in a way unrelated to his body, like a reliable guardian who could lift others up, lift her up.
And like with him, I don’t feel like I can trust in him, though for a different reason. Dad was always struggling with finances. So I didn’t want to trouble him any further. With Gen, it’s because this isn’t the sort of thing I can share with anyone. And, with what I’ve done, do I even deserve to get his support? Isn’t it rotten to do that when I put a bomb of sorts that could ruin his life at any time in here, in his precious restaurant?
Amame was hurt by that, by this turmoil. continuously. But, she did still have to live her life. She had no intention of just giving up when she had more to do. She also did like the idea of playing a game, a lot. Even everything on her mind, everything troubling her, couldn’t erase the appeal of playing certain types of games with those she cared about. It had been there as long as she remembered, thanks to her father, and would probably remain until she too was dead.“Okay, Genny”. Amame finally answered. She could genuinely perk up in regards to this. “What should we play?”.“You could pick, or…”. Genny paused and took a moment to think. “Ah. How about this? We could play a guessing and connections game. Like, one of us will start by picking a topic for the other to pick a word or phrase from, which the topic picker will then try to guess. Then we’d swap and the guesser would pick something to be guessed that’s related to the previous answer”.Amame was fine with it. But…“Are you sure about that?”.It seemed like something she’d handle easily enough, a mild combination of trivia and knowledge skills. She’d probably have an advantage.“I am”, Genny replied confidently. “I won’t be scared easily”.Ah. Well, okay.
If that’s right, I want to try something.
“Shouldn’t you be?”, Amame put forward in her best intimidating voice. “Aren’t you being too optimistic?”.“...er, um...heh….ah, well. I might have been”.“You’re up against me, so don’t get cocky”.“Ah. Of course. I...um...won’t”.Gen was trying, but he clearly didn’t have it in him to act scared of her convincingly.
I feel silly now. I really wanted a moment of hype, like dad sometimes used to get.
“Fine, I’ll stop. You can’t see me that way at all, can you?”, Amame sulked. Yes, there didn’t feel like there was any dignity in this. “Who’ll start first?”.“I would like to be the first to pick something to guess. What topic would you want me to pick from?”.“Robotics?”.“Shoma’s on your mind again?”.“Ah. Well”. She paused for a moment, not wishing to put her troubles on him, before hesitantly admitting, “Yes”.
There’s no point in not answering.
“He’ll be okay. He’s a smart kid”, Gen said assuringly. He then crossed him arms. “Hmm. I can give that word a try. Give me a moment”.He was silent for a moment.“Okay, I’ve picked something. Go”.Amame quickly had an idea, and went for it.“Abis”.“Abyss? No”.“A B I S. The thing Mizuki has been training for. The strange agency with a robot virtual girl, which I’m pretty sure is how I’d have once have expected to describe Iris’s workplace before any place with Mizuki in it”.“Life can be surprising”.“I know”, Amame agreed. She then frowned. “You’re not going to slip away. I know I got the answer right, didn’t I?”.During the incident with Tearer, while Date was still around, they’d found out about an AI called Aiba. He’d gotten a call from her, from Aiba, and Amame had learned a bit after, well, Date got lost. She was very memorable. So she was an easy guess, and very likely to come to mind.“Oh. Was my choice that obvious?”. Gen rubbed the chin of his mask.“I should’ve tried harder”.“Yes, Genny”. Amame pouted, feeling a bit exasperated. “You didn’t just give that to me, did you?”.“No. But, it feels like that, would you like me to try again?”.“No. I’ll have my turn”. Amame decided that she would rather keep the game going. “So, Abyss will be the word I’ll use”.“Okay. The word or the acronym?”.“The word. I think the acronym would be unfair. You’d have four words to work with, to pick, and there’s no unifying idea to use as a guide”.“Hmm. You have a point”.Amame then took her turn, took her time to think. She started digging into the depths of her trivia knowledge for a good choice.“Maybe I should reconsider something. You can be scary”, Gen said amusedly. “You’d better not go too hard, or I might not have any chance, even with hints”.“I am a professional’s daughter, you know. I know how this should work”.“Unless he was teaching you, I don’t think that’ll help”.“I inherited his gift”.“Hm”. He sounded sceptical.“Okay, no”. This was going poorly. “Look, Genny, I’m trying to boast, to play a role. You don’t need to point out that it doesn’t make sense”.“And you don’t need to do that. I do respect and trust you, really. So, you don’t need to boast to me”.“No. But it’s fun”. Amame grinned. “Plus, I’ve spent so much time sucking up to people. I deserve some time where I can brag and act a lot differently”.“Maybe you do”, Genny kindly agreed. “I’d certainly be quick to praise you. You’re an impressive girl. Ah, no, woman. Time sure flies by, doesn’t it?”.“...yeah”. Amame felt both happy at the compliment and awkward. To her, the time since she’d been a high schooler felt so stretched out. It might be because of the gap between them, between her and someone who was already a restaurant owner. Certainly, what had overshadowed her life since then, had stained it, definitely made many of her days feel longer, regardless of anything else.
Genny’s trying his best.
“Ah. Well, thanks, Genny”.Yes, he had always been so nice, so considerate, to her, and, so, she needed to make sure he knew she appreciated that. She needed to not let the distance between them hurt a nice moment, or at least a moment that would be purely that to him.
Being praised by Genny does feel nice, but I doubt that I deserve it at all.
“My turn, right? Give me a moment”.Gen nodded. Amame put her mind to thinking of a really good word for him to guess, linked to the last one and hopefully in the warm zone for difficulty. They then carried on playing this game for a while. As a result, Amame felt better. Not that much, but, still, better. Still troubled though, which Gen clearly noticed.“Is something bothering you?”. Genny once again sounded concerned. In a lighter tone though, he added, chidingly, “Did you lose horribly at a pachinko parlour?”.“Huh?”. That was a confusing swerve.“Just kidding. I wanted to lighten the mood”. His tone more serious, sounding concerned again, he then asked, “You... didn’t actually do that? Did you?”.“No”.“Good. I thought for a moment that I’d accidentally hit the mark”.Amame shook her head. That was silly. But, maybe she’d use that one day, as an excuse for her moods. At least it should be silly enough to work as a distraction. She’d been picking up and thinking of excuses to use for what would be a very enduring problem. The more she had pocketed away, the better.“You need to go and get ingredients? I’ll do it for you”.That was a good way to make sure they didn’t go towards the matter of her mood again, a good interruption.“No, I’ll do it”.“I should sort of pay you back for the delicious food and help. So, lets go together. Besides, it’s not like you could just leave me in charge of the place. You’d have to lock up”.“Yes. I know how much you like my food”, Gen teased lightly.“Genny!”. Amame felt embarrassed, and annoyed. “I’m not a child. I can control myself very well, thank you very much. I’ve been out of high school for a bit now”.“Oh? Well, yes, I noticed that”, Gen said, accompanied by a warm chuckle, likely because of her reaction.Amame let out a groan.“In my experience, it’s generally hard to miss that. A person growing up”. Gen then sounded oddly more serious, concerningly so for what he was saying, as he added, “Okay, perhaps there’s one or two people out there who would, but I’d like to think I’m more attentive than that”.
What? Who has he had as customers? I hope I never bump into them in my own job, or that Genny is trying at a deadpan joke.
This felt silly, cringy. But this was also nice. She knew that Iris and Mizuki used to have moments like this with their own dad. She’d had them with her own dad. And, those two still had them from Iris’s mum. She had moments like that from Iris’s mum.
She makes dating Iris feel embarrassing, in that parent talk way.
“I’ll get ready for us to both leave”, Gen then said.“Great”.She waited until he had done everything, and then they exited. The place was locked, and they then set off for the store. As they arrived, Gen noted that, “I have a list, but this won’t take long”.“I’ll help”, Amame said while reaching for a basket.“I can carry a lot. I’ll be fine”.“You still only have two hands”.“Well, true”.So, they both took a basket, and they then moved through the isles. Gen carried the heaviest items. Amame did carry her fair share. She insisted on it.
I owe you. Plus, I’d probably want that regardless. Helping you out is nice.
“I don’t think I’ve gotten to see this much to how you select your ingredients”, Amame noted with interest.“Hmm. Why yes, that’s true”. Gen, after a moment, asked “Do you have any suggestions?”“No, no way. I wouldn’t want to change anything about your recipes”.“Every cook can still improve”.“I might cook a bit, but I’m not on your level”, Amame retorted. “Plus, I like your food as it is. If anyone other that you changed it, I don’t want it to be me”.“Would that be so bad?”“If I made it worse, that would suck. What could I do then?”.
I know what I could do from much worse choices, and I hate it.
Gen shrugged. “Forgive yourself? It’ll just be food”.
I’m not very forgiving.
“Your food. I’d want to complain if anyone ruined your food”, Amame declared, with annoyance at the hypothetical her that ruined his cooking. Plus, this felt like it was getting under her skin somehow.“You wouldn’t do that. You, ruin my food? No”, Gen said assuringly. “You should trust yourself that much, or trust me. I won’t take your recommendations blindly”.“Ah, of course”. Amame felt that last point changed things. “Okay. I’ll tell you what I think”.“Thanks”. Gen gestured at a section. “What would you pick out of these?”“Hmm…”.They went through his shopping like that. Amame felt like she’d definitely made it take longer, but Genny seemed happy for her presence, and it wasn’t that much longer. At least, according to him. Yes, it didn’t take that long for them to be finished and leave, both carrying shopping.“Thank you, Amame”.Amame smiled. “It’s no trouble. I liked this”.Gen nodded. “Glad for the distraction?”.Amame couldn’t answer that. Yes, she was glad, but that she was and the degree that she needed this felt embarrassing. Shameful, even.“I’m not going to push for details”, Gen said assuringly. “It’s none of my business”.Amame was glad for that consideration, far more than he could ever be allowed to know. But, she could still show a bit of it. She did her best to smile warmly, appreciatively, and then said...“Thanks, Genny. And, I am”.