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Draco’s hands are shaking. His palms are flush to the bright porcelain and his emerald green tie is laying on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. His vision is blurry and the wetness from his hair is dripping down his face. He gathers a cupped handful of water and splashes it onto his head. He could not believe what he had done. Draco tugs at the delicate buttons around the cuffs of his shirt and yanks the grey vest off of his torso. His eyes trace the edges of the sink and lead him slowly to his own reflection. The reflection of someone who felt like a stranger. He was so far from where he thought he would be. Who is he living his life for? He clenches his eyes shut and continues to splash the cold water onto his skin. F L A S H B A C K Draco almost tumbled into the snow on his way up the wide trunk of the tree. When he found the right spot, he settled, as much as you can among the branches of a tree, and realized he was just in time. A large group of students was traveling down the path from Hogsmeade and heading back to Hogwarts. He saw the usual faces, Fred and George with a box full of mischief, Ginny with new gear for this season of quidditch, and Hermione Granger toting back yet another bag of books. He continued to scan the path for anything interesting and laid his eyes upon the insufferable Chosen One.Potter was amongst his usual crowd of obnoxious Gryffindors. As he continued down the path towards Hogwarts, Draco noticed that there was someone lying on the ground. A young girl in awful bright red robes. He was livid. The young girl was Katie Bell, the very Gryffindor that he had wrongfully trusted with the duty of delivering the cursed necklace to Dumbledore. His plan had failed, and he was lost on how he could fix it. He waited impatiently in the tree for the last straggler to make their way far enough down the path to Hogwarts for Draco to carefully climb down from the tree and hurry back to the castle. F L A S H F O R W A R D Draco splashed another handful of water onto his face, and when he wiped his eyes and looked up into the mirror, his reflection wasn’t alone. The piercing green eyes of Harry Potter drilled holes into his face. He turned around quickly, attempting to gain some composure.“I know what you did Malfoy!” Harry shouts.Draco locked eyes with Potter, hoping he could read through them “Can we not do this right now Potter…”“You decided the urgency of this conversation when you nearly killed Katie Bell.”“I had no other choice.” Draco stated softly.“What’s that supposed to mean?”“You wouldn’t understand. You’ve always been good, Potter. You came from good, you’re destined for good. I’ve never had that choice.” Draco says, beginning to drop his guard. “I’ve been fighting for so long and I’m so tired. Do you think I enjoy this? Do you think I get off being the evil one? The villain? The one that everyone hates?”“No, I…” Harry begins, but is quickly cut off.“You don’t even have the capability to understand what I’m going through. What I’m being forced into. What I have to do to survive.” Draco shouts, quickly storming out, leaving Harry alone in the cold bathroom. F L A S H F O R W A R D It’s been a week since the incident. Katie Bell was recovering steadily from the harm done to her by Malfoy. Harry was still thinking about everything that had happened. About Hogsmeade, about the journey back, seeing Katie’s body lifeless on the ground, and even his confrontation with Malfoy. He couldn’t get it out of his head.Harry had been running into Malfoy throughout the week. Sometimes in the hallways, sometimes the library, or potions class, or on the grounds. But no matter where Harry ran into Malfoy, he always looked the same: like he was afraid for his life. Harry hadn’t noticed this before the incident, but then again Harry tried his absolute best to avoid Malfoy at all costs before everything happened. Now, Harry almost worries about Malfoy, as much as the thought of Harry worrying about someone as awful as him made his stomach turn.As he ponders this, allowing it to consume his thoughts, he runs into Malfoy again. This time, literally. The two collide and Malfoy drops his armful of books and papers onto the floor. Harry tries to help him, but Malfoy kneels to the floor and gathers his belongings as quickly as possible, running away before either of them said a word.Later in the day, Harry is eating dinner with Ron and Hermione. Hermione, in her usual way, can tell that something is off with Harry.“What has you so overwrought?” Hermione asks curiously.“It’s nothing…” Harry says.“C’mon mate, you know you can talk to us.” Ron said.“I promise it’s nothing to worry about.” Harry states assuredly.Dinner continues as it normally would. Ron cracked jokes about the day and Hermione could not stop talking about her homework. After a while had passed, Harry abruptly asks, interrupting Ron, “Have you guys noticed anything off about Malfoy recently?”“I always try my best to not notice Malfoy at all.” Ron laughed.Then Hermione chimed in, “As much as I too try to avoid Malfoy, I have noticed that he hasn’t been his usual obnoxious self…but Harry, why do you ask?”Harry reluctantly replies, “Nothing really, just have noticed he has seemed different lately, that’s all.”“Maybe Malfoy just finally realized he was being a complete git.” Ron chuckled.Harry halfheartedly laughs with Ron, “Yeah…”An awkward silence fell over the three, and they shortly resumed to their normal behaviors for the rest of dinner. F L A S H F O R W A R D Harry sat alone with his thoughts in the Gryffindor common room. It was quiet, he could hear nothing but his own heartbeat and the crackling of the fireplace. He could not stop thinking about his interactions with Malfoy. He seemed so off ever since the Katie Bell incident, and Harry had to finally admit that he was worried about him. Harry was staring into the crackling fire, pondering, when Hermione walked into the common room.“Still thinking about Malfoy, I see?” Hermione asks.“What? No… no I, I’m just stressed about our homework is all…” Harry said, struggling to play it off.“Harry, I know that’s what is on your mind, now will you just tell me what has you so worked up about him?”Harry sat in thought for a moment. He was unsure if he should be fully honest with Hermione, or if he should try to pretend that he isn’t worried about Malfoy, and that they hadn’t had a handful of awkward interactions over the past week following the incident.“I have something to tell you… Something that happened on the day we went to Hogsmeade last week…” Harry stated hesitantly.“You mean other than Malfoy cursing Katie and nearly killing her?” Hermione asks seriously.“Well, yes…” Harry takes a deep breath. “I ran into him in the bathroom after everything happened and…” Harry pauses briefly, “And he was really upset Hermione… I was mad and I lashed out at him, and I thought he would’ve been proud of what he had done but he was quite the opposite…”“The opposite? Harry, what did he say?”Harry quickly replays the interaction in his head, “He seemed scared… like he didn’t want to admit that he did it but he also didn’t try to deny it? It was strange. Then he was telling me that he didn’t have a choice…” Harry continued, reluctantly, “I’ve been worried about him…”“Worried about him? Harry what has gotten into you?”“Well, I don’t know Hermione… That all doesn’t seem a little strange to you? A little bit odd for someone like Malfoy? The same Malfoy who has always delighted in hurting people is suddenly distraught after nearly killing someone?”“Harry,” Hermione begins honestly, “I didn’t mean to upset you, its just not normal for you to worry about someone like Malfoy… this all just seems very sudden.”“I can assure you it is most certainly not sudden. I need to find out what’s going on with him.”“…And how exactly do you plan to do that?” Hermione asks.“Well, I have one idea, do you remember when Fred and George gave me the Marauder’s map? I could use that and try to find Draco when he’s alone and confront him about it.”“Well, that’s one way to do it…” Hermione says, concerned for Harry.“It’ll work, I promise. Or, at least I hope so…” Harry says reluctantly.-------------------------------------------------------------Harry was lying in his bed that evening and looking at his Marauder’s Map, his eyes glued to Malfoy’s name as he paced aimlessly in the corridors. He watched as Malfoy left the Slytherin common room, wander down the hallways, past the classrooms, and eventually back to the same bathroom that Harry found him in just one week prior.Harry knew it was time. Time to confront Malfoy about everything that has happened. Time to figure out what is really going on with him. Harry folds up the map, closes it, and places it in his robe pocket. He quietly leaves his bed and starts to make his way carefully to the bathroom where Malfoy is.--------------------------------------------------------------Harry arrives at the bathroom and peaks around the corner after checking the map one last time. The sight of Malfoy once again hunched over the sink, this time his face wet with tears, drained him of all the righteous fury that had brought him there. For a moment Harry was overcome with the need to comfort Malfoy, but he quickly cast that thought away, remembering what Draco had done to Katie.Harry approached Draco, confidence faltering, “Just tell me why you did it, Malfoy.”“You again? Why can’t you just leave me alone Potter” Draco said voice quivering.“Something is different about you. You said someone was forcing you to do this. Who? Explain now or I have to assume you are as sick and evil as your father.”Draco cringed at the mention of Lucius. His father. The reason he couldn’t have a normal life, enjoy school, have real relationships. Draco couldn’t take it anymore, he broke down.“Can’t you see Potter; my father is the one making me. Forcing me to prove myself, serve The Dark Lord, be this… this monster! You will never understand what I have endured for him, to please him. Nothing I do is enough, no number of beatings satisfy him, no level of obedience, and here I am with a chance to prove myself to him again and I fuck it up. I never wanted to hurt anyone, but I can’t say no to him. He hates me, his only loyalty lies with the Dark Lord but I can’t stop trying.”At this point Draco is sobbing, words coming out like vomit. Never would Draco have thought he would be spilling his guts to Harry Potter, but he just can’t seem to help himself. Something about Potter, in all his self-righteousness, was solid and comforting. Harry never wavered on who he was, infuriatingly good and kind.Harry stood in front of Draco, seeing him in a way he never had before. He realized just how similar they really were, holding up opposite ends of the same unbearable weight. Draco was young and scared, constantly trying to prove himself and failing; a feeling Harry was quite familiar with. And in that moment Harry stared at Draco, looking so sad and defeated, and realized just how beautiful he was. Something took over Harry and he surged forward smashing his lips to Draco’s. Draco froze in utter disbelief, he could hear his heart pounding in his ears, but after a moment he melted into the kiss.Harry took Draco’s reciprocation has a go ahead to deepen the kiss. He pushed Draco up against the sink as Draco threw his arms around Harry’s neck. They went on like that for several seconds before separating for air. Harry leaned back in, but Draco flinched away.“I…We…I can’t do this” Draco said before promptly turning towards the door and running back to the Slytherin common room.END OF CHAPTER 1