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Today me and Saki turned 10! Mumma took us to see a play, I think she still wants me to be an actor. The play was ok Saki really liked it she was smiling so big I think her smile was the best part of today. That and I made a friend, his name is Shinonome Akito. He seemed to like the play more than me. Mumma even let me play with her piano today I played Twinkle twinkle little star of course! Saki loved my performance like always. I want to keep a log of all my and Sakis birthdays from now on. Happy birthday to me and Saki!!_________________________________________________________________________ Today we turned twelve. Nothing really important happened. Saki was still in hospital and I was left alone. Dad called and I sang happy birthday to Saki as I saw her blow candles out and open a present. I wondered where mine was. It was my birthday as well. I didn't dare ask them though. Mafuyu came around though, she apologised for not having a gift but I didn't really care about that. I was content being in her presence. She had to leave soon after though I don't know why, but I'm happy she was here. Mother came home after and handed me a wrapped book about acting. When she wasn't looking I put it in the bin, she knows I don't want to pursue an acting career. Happy birthday future me 🎂 _________________________________________________________________________ Today Saki turned thirteen she was out of the hospital so mom and dad took her to Phoenix wonderland, they left me behind though saying they didn't have enough money for both of us to go. I looked in their draws and saw enough money to buy a new house. When they were gone Mafuyu and one of her friends came to visit. They didn't stay long, just long enough to wish me a happy birthday. I believe that the girl's name was Azusawa Kohane but I could be wrong. I have never been good with names. When they got back Saki saw me standing at the door, she seemed sad and hugged me when she saw me. Mom gave me another acting book. I plan to put it in the bin tomorrow. She also told me that she enrolled me in a dance drama and singing class. Later Saki gave me something wrapped in dark blue wrapping paper, it was a KAITO Synth and a KAITO plush, the former is hidden under the bed in the old scripts Mom kept for me which is where I kept all the synths Saki gave me. Last year was MEIKO, the year before that was the Kagamines and the year before that was Miku and Luka. Saki told me she asked Ichika to buy it for her so mom and dad wouldn't find out. I need to thank Ichika when I see her. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SAKIII!! _________________________________________________________________________ Today Akito and I saw each other in middle school. We finally exchanged contacts and we talked for a while. I ended up showing him a song I covered with KAITOS voice bank. He said it was good and he asked me if I posted it. I said no and he told me I should. Later he asked if I wanted to start a music account with him. I agreed he said he would message me later and ran off. I think that my and Saki’s 14th birthday was my favourite since my mother bought me a cake. Mafuyu didn't visit this year but that's ok because Toya did. In fact he lives here now. Happy birthday me _________________________________________________________________________ Me and Saki are fifteen today. I am alone in the house as they took Saki to see a play. I am surprisingly glad i didn't have to go, i dont particularly want to watch plays. They seem interesting enough but I have never really felt an interest. Not even watching Saki light up. I don’t have much else to say, a new idol debuted a few months back so i'm watching her livestream and making a cake. I think Saki said something about a present for me in my room but I don't have the heart to check. The cake looks boring i should really learn how to decorate. Happy birthday to me and Saki _________________________________________________________________________
I turned sixteen yesterday. It was a nightmare Saki was rushed into hospital after being out for three years. We didn't have time to celebrate or anything. I bought Saki a present this year. I always do but this one was special. It was a necklace and earring set that reminded me of her. Toya was with me when I got the call. If he wasn't there I think my phone would be on the floor cracked in half as I dropped it after hearing what mother told me. Mother didn't dare make me go to school today, she said I could take the week off which I found strange but I didn't comment. Toya sat with me. He told me I was just sitting there for a while, eyes unfocused and non responsive. He called my father who apparently still couldn't get me to snap out of whatever trance I was in. It did feel nice though to be simply existing without feeling. Not noticing anything out of your small circle of self. Ah, I'm rambling again, my bad. Toya started to get worried for me today, he said that if I was feeling sad that I should tell him. But I'm not feeling sad as far as I can tell, in fact I haven't felt much for a while, since I was fourteen maybe or was it thirteen I don't know. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Happy birthday me. _________________________________________________________________________ Me and Saki are seventeen today, Saki started her own street music group four months ago, Akito is in a theatre troupe fulfilling his dream, Mafuyu and her childhood friends reconciled and formed a band. I made new friends Nenechi and Annie-chan or Kusanagi Nene and Shiraishi An two idols. But what have I done? I joined a music group, sure but I haven't grown at all. The pit in my stomach is still there slowly eating away at any feelings I have left. This year I got a card from father, a new acting class from mother and a few things from friends. I feel bad for leeching off of them but they wouldn't budge. I am not sure if I have changed but I feel like this is the best birthday I have had for a long while. Nenechi and Annie-chan are wonderful singers. Maybe I can get them to help with a cover that might be cool. Happy birthday me . I hope the ever-growing hole in your heart can be fixed. -T. Tenma __________________________________________ Tsukasa looked down at the pages, some wrinkled with age and smiled. A small smile but a smile nonetheless. As he put the pen down. The pen being something he took from the SEKAI. A small thing, a simple dark blue paired with gold. His attention turned to his phone when he spotted movement. He saw Miku, KAITO, MEIKO and one of the plushies. Usa. "Tsukasa-kun," Miku stated "it is your date of birth yet you are alone, why is that? Shouldn't you be celebrating," Miku stared at him. Her blue eyes are always a stark contrast to the big lightless stars in the centre. "It's almost the dawn of the 18th so everyone is sleeping," he said simply as he gathered the papers and put them on his desk. "I see the pen that we found the other day MEIKO," Miku said eyes directed to the pen Tsukasa was using "You can keep it seeing as you must have a connection with it to pull it out the SEKAI," "Consider it a birthday present from us," MEIKO said softly smiling at the boy who sat down on his bed and looked at all the boxes he left unopened. “I don't get it,” he said “I haven't changed at all, yet everyone I know has seen me as different,” "To you you might not have changed, but it's obvious you have, " MEIKO softly said. "You from a year ago wouldn't even think about talking back to your mother, but today you did," "That's a lie," he whispered "I did dare to talk back to her, it was when I asked why Saki got a present and cake a few days after our birthday," he said, sniffling. As Miku was about to say something she heard a door click and quickly she disappeared from sight, MEIKO and Usa quickly followed as one Tenma Saki walked into the room. "Tsuka," she said sitting next to Tsukasa who pulled his feet up in his bed and rested his head between his knees. "Mhm," he said, not in the mood to talk to anyone or basically see anyone. "I heard sniffles, are you all good?" She asked while surveying the room. Her eyes eventually landed on the stack of paper. She got up and walked over to it. "Tsuka, can I look at these?" "Sure," he mumbled through his tears, only looking up to see what she was holding. "What exactly are these? I can tell they are entries of some sort but I don't get it," she asked, moving to sit next to her twin who's eyes were trained on the papers. "From the age of ten to the present day a small part of what I felt like on the 17th of May, or our birthday, feelings, reminders, all sorts of things," he said. "You do this every year?" Saki asked curiously from her spot next to him. He nodded. "I hope the ever-growing hole in your heart can be fixed...?" She muttered. "On the dawn of a new day, may my despair and sadness wash away," he mumbled "an old saying I once heard, " "what," "You don't need to worry about that ," he said "It's nothing important, you should head to bed, it's late," he grabbed the stack of papers and returned them to their box. "I'm sleeping with you tonight Tsuka, mum can suck one if she gets mad!" She pumped her fist into the air " be back in a sec," she whispered as she ran out of his room. "She's gone..." he said. Looking intensely at his phone. 'You are going to go and you are going to spend time with your sister starboy,' KAITO signed. "Face your issues no matter how hard they are,' he disappeared. Tsukasa just stared at the black screen. Not noticing his sister come back in. “What's so interesting about a black screen Tsuka?” “Hweh,” he exclaimed “nothing i was about to turn it on,” “Nope no-siree you can't use your phone,” Saki pouted, taking his phone from him. “Come on, it's time to sleep, or talk about our days,” Saki said. “Sleep,” he responded, “sorry, I'm never talkative at night, maybe tomorrow,” he added before falling into a pillow. Saki followed suit. “Alright then, we should probably talk about this tomorrow,” she said earning a nod from her twin “Night Tsuka,” “Night Saki,” _________________________________________________________________________ Yesterday i already wrote something but Saki came into my room, we ended up sleeping over in my room. She gave me a present as well, a new synth. She put it in Touyas room, because she didn't want me to get caught with it. Today we are having a talk about my feelings, it feels nice to be worried about. Although I am not quite ready to talk, I should start somewhere. It's like he said I should face my issues at some point. I am enjoying the peaceful morning as Touya and Saki get ready for the day ahead. They have things to do I do not yet they were willing to drop it all to stay with me. I also think I was wrong, I have changed. Me from five years ago would have never even considered watching a stage show yet I have seen many of Akitos shows. Last year I would have never disobeyed my mother and father yet here I am, in a music circle doing the one thing they didn't want me to do. Change is a funny thing almost always so small you never see it happen until you look back. Happy birthday(again) to me.