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0.  Spring was always a fateful season in Japan. When you stand in front of the sakura tree not far from the building, you can see exactly why. The grass was a beautiful green, the stones that carved the path to the tree from the school glistened as if they were crystals, butterflies dance around the field, the most astonishing pink petals fell from the tree, dances in the wind as if it was their time to shine, and landed gracefully down onto the grass, leaving a blanket of pink and green around the scenery.And finally another couple underneath that tree, but this time you're supporting - your friends are there.You watch as she hugs the green-head, clearly the happiest you've ever seen her. She turned her head towards you over his should, smiling and you wave in response. Staying for only a moment then spinning around to get home. It took a bunch out of you today, motivating Ochako to confess before the tree's flowers began to wilt, and somewhat yourself along the way.And her feelings were returned in full. It's was such a sight.After stuffing your hands into your uniform pockets and starting to walk away, you pause just before leaving out of the U.A gates. Leaning on the walls you were about to leave out of is your favorite chemistry partner.  "Shin!" You sprint towards him. He looks up from his phone and smiles. "[Y/N]. How'd it go?" "It went so well!" You stop in front of him, trying to catch your breath. "He said yes. Prepare to be tired of them tomorrow." Shinso laughs a bit. "How can you be sick of a relationship like that? They're so perfect for each other." You nod. "You're right.. Just makes me feel alone."The boy places his hands into his pockets and he gives you a relatable smile, before walking out of the gates. "Lets go."--You and Hitoshi were partners during chemistry. Before then you'd never think he'd utter a singular word to you, but once you sat down and had a conversation with him it didn't take long for you to realize he was nothing like the scary scenarios you played when you thought about approaching the boy.It was your favorite part of the day now, sitting besides him and watching him sometimes peer into a microscope or just observing him as he wrote down notes in his book.Moments when he'd be so focused on getting a perfect score on an assignment you both were assigned, eyebrows pressing together in concentration.Other times he'd look at the window, looking off at yet another couple underneath that tree. It was the exact same thing you did whenever he was absent for the day (which is oddly common this year), silently questioning what it would be like to have someone hug you underneath those branches.Back when orange leaves fell and the air began to chill, Shinsou had once accompanied you as you skipped curiously towards the tree, throwing an arm-full of crunchy leaves in the air on your way. Despite the fact that (according to him earlier in the year) he always had to make sure he was home 30 minutes at most after school ends.
That day, he doesn't mention how late he would be because of your curiosity. He only walked with you, hands in his pockets and mouth covered by his brown scarf.

--

When you both reached the tree, the first thing you do is place your palm on the thick trunk, sighing when you feel the wood under your hands for the first time. "Have you ever had a confession under one of these before?" you suddenly ask. Shinsou looks up from the roots on the ground, glancing at your back after you ask your question. "No."

You turn and look at his face, before grinning. "I'm gonna climb!" He doesn't stop you but he does voice his concern.

"Climb a tree? In a skirt? [Y/N]-"

"Close your eyes and you won't see" You say before grabbing a low branch and lifting yourself onto it. Shinso quickly averts his gaze to the ground with a rub to his forehead. "If we get caught it's more than likely that I'll have to take the blame for this." He complained and once you manage to hoist a leg over the branch, you laugh. "Only because you'll insist that you will. When I accidentally dropped that glass beaker you wouldn't let me pay for it." You remind him breathlessly, adjusting on the new seat of yours so you can face the boy now underneath you.

He looks up and sees you infatuated with the view, pressing a hand to the ascending trunk that pointed to the sky. You and nature were like siblings in his eyes, so beautiful and yet even more so when you're combined.

He ignores the mention of money. "That was my fault. And how long are you gonna stay up there? The staff will be out to search the grounds soon." You poke out your lip and rest your temple and hands against the trunk. "Why do you have to ruin the fun."

He exhales softly and pulls the scarf above his nose. "Sorry. I'll make it up to you by allowing you to draw whatever you want on our project's poster." He looks irritated with his proposal, but before he can regret it you're already chuckling. "I was gonna do that anyways, Shin." he cannot respond because deep down he knew that was true. "As an apology, let me jump from this tree, and you'll catch me."

You peer down at him, now curious to see what type of look he's gonna give you. He looks hesitant, like all kinda of cogs are working in his skull to reveal exactly what this action you revealed him to will lead to. Or it's possibilities.

"If I drop you.."

"You won't."

He's not meeting your eyes anymore.

"If I do."

"Shinsou."

"Yeah?"

You took a huge leap from the branch, laughing loudly as if you weren't in risk of literally breaking bones.

Even though you didn't warn him, he's quick to align with where you'll land. You didn't even  see him near the tree.

He caught you bridal style, lifting you up like it was nothing at all. He even made sure your skirt was smoothed down and that nothing showed. Your eyes shut the moment of contact, thinking that some sort of pain would rack through your bones, but it never does.

When you open your eyes, his eyes don't meet yours for a moment. "You're insane."

You grin, leaning forward to wrap your arms around his neck. "Since you're already holding me... you should carry me home!"

"No." He urges you to let go but doesn't say it out loud. A moment later, a wicked smile crosses your face.

You tug yourself closer to his face, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Aww..." A pout. "Thanks anyway."

You let yourself down. He's quiet, and it takes a couple calls for him to realize you've been asking for him to tag along, and outside the gates you headed.

--
"Hey, you're here tomorrow, right?" You ask along the way. He looks up at you curiously. "Yes. Why?" You shake your head. "I feel like tomorrow might be important. I want you there." It's silent again, and by the time you both near the house, you're shoulder to shoulder, laughing at the weird jokes you've come to love so much.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

(3rd pov, From Shinso's perspective) -Willing.- The last day of the week was finally over. It was May 25th, the worst day of his life in all his previous years, and every day that would follow would surely be exactly the same. It was around that time of year, where the sun would set by the time it's time to go.Shinso had taken a little longer, deciding he wanted to grab a book before the weekend rolled around. Mostly everyone has already left. He was tired, and he still had so much to do today.When he'd reached his locker and taken out his shoes, there lied your beautiful letter.The same shade of his hair, with black lettering across the envelope: H.SThe same handwriting he'd come to be attached to, and the same pen with that particular touch that made your handwriting all the more flawless in his eyes.He picks up the letter, careful like it'd break in his hold if he held it any different. It smells just like you. Sweet. Perhaps you sprayed this before slipping it into his locker? Slowly, he opens up the flap, curious if you'd sealed the paper with your tongue, or if you used something else? His entire day had felt disgusting, like it did every year, but your letter was placed on his locker like it belonged there. Like it belonged here, on this day. The worst of his life.He pulls out the paper inside, and the first thing that catches his eye his the heart in the corner.The same heart that you always wrote on the corner of your shared projects. The same heart you'd sneak onto his assignments when he peered out the window and at the blossoms.And the same one you wrote on the back of his hand, while you leaned on his shoulder. He remembers so vividly how he frowned when it washed off in the shower.The note speaks,  
'Hiii Shinso.

Meet me under the Sakura Tree?

I wanna talk to you. It's pretty important.'
 
- your Fav <3
Shinso's heart pounds hard. He really doesn't want to get his hopes up, but seriously, you asking him to meet underneath the Sakura Trees on a Friday?He takes the note and slips it back into the envelope, and putting it back into his bag and turning towards the exit, watching some petals fly through the open doors.And he'd leave them in a heartbeat, because afterall, you're waiting for him.★He noticed you from afar, running your hands along the tree with headphones on your head, listening to music to calm your nerves like you typically did whenever you were nervous.When you notice him approaching, you give him a heavenly soft grin, one hand braced against the tree, and the other lifting up to wave. The corners of his lips turn up.This is the first time you've both have been under this tree as spring rolled around."Hey!" You yell loud enough for him to hear. "Hi."He stops before you, looking up at the still-blooming flowers spouting from the tree. The wind blows, giving a warm breeze between the two of you. He watched in awe as you looked in the direction of the blowing, pushing hair behind your ear in the process. "I'm sorry. Were you waiting long..? I headed to the library after the bell rang.." He gives you an apologetic look."No! No, I just got here." A worried look crosses your face for a moment.  "Don't worry about it."He nods his head, quietly waiting for your next remark. "Do you remember how we came here last year?" His hands find their ways into his pockets, hiding the slight tremor in them. "Yeah.""You said you hadn't been confessed to under one of these." His heart stills, then quickens right back up at the distant look you give the branches above you. "I've always wanted that. To be confessed to here, but.."You slid the headphones from your face. "I think the roots are telling me its the other way around." You close your eyes. "So, yeah. Here it is."You slide your backpack from your shoulders, leaning over to grab a purple-pink envelope, before discarding the bag onto the floor. "I really like you. Too much to be just friends." You feel more confident as you say it. "There's a bunch of reasons why, so I wrote them down." You hold out the letter, hoping that he wouldn't catch the look you carry.He grabs it from you, emphasizing the brush of your hands. After taking the note he threads his through yours. "Thank you." He looks at you intently, set on getting you to look back. "It's nothing. Just take some time to think about it, and read the note while you're at it.. Please."He takes his free and and tilts your face to look at him, but you still won't manage. "I will. And you know you don't have to be shy around me or anything." You nod. "Mm.""And ..you know I don't need time to think about it."You let the intertwined hands fall at your sides. "Yeah.""But.. you know there's still a lot about me you need to know." You finally look at him. "I'm willing."He smiles. "Okay." His hands leave yours, and you're almost thinking he's going to leave now, but instead his hands wrap around your waist, catching you in a hug. You stand on your toes just a little, wrapping your hands around his neck and embracing him back. You quell tears, trying not to ruin the moment. "I am too. Willing. I'm willing to be with you."You hug him tighter. "Thank you." You voice nearly cracks, so you bury your face in his shoulder.You stay like this for a long moment, not willing to let him go. You can feel flowers are the fly past and onto the two of you. You pull away, afraid of seeming too clingy so quickly. He almost doesn't want to let go, but his hands leave.He twines his fingers with yours again, settling with this type of touch. "Is.. um, this alright?" He asked. Your heart flutters in your ribcage. "Yeah." A grin grazes his lips and his cheeks are slightly flushed now. "And this?" He asked, leaning towards you. You don't stop him, shutting your eyes curiously. You feel his lips press to your temple, and you swear you're about to ascend out of your body. Heat pours into your skin at the contact. "Yeah.." Your voice actually cracks this time. The tree weeps flowers around you, resting on top of your interlocked hands until the wind once again picks up.He only kissed you indirectly once and you're already enraptured by him.It isn't long until you're crying just like the tree above you, thanking him over and over. The relief floods your body like the wind blowing past your hair, erasing the embarrassment of sobbing in front of your newly-formed boyfriend.He doesn't judge you. He doesn't look at you differently.His eyes are only soft, and he pulls you closer, mumbling,"You don't have to thank me. I was always willing. Willing to belong to you."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-For the Last Time- You look up at U.A, thinking about the fact that this is your last last day, looking up at the huge building that you'd come to love so much. You cannot thank this building more.You've met so many supportive friends, so many cool teachers, made so many memories and even more accomplishments.And of course, because of the chemistry room, you met your adorable, understanding, intelligent boyfriend who you cannot physically live without.You're about to step inside for the last last time.It's a little extra to pause right here, so you attempt to take another step before a heavy arm throws itself around you. You instantly start yapping out a defense mechanism you both came up with during your free week as you shove the arm from your body,"My boyfriend is 6'4, heavy handed, a little crazy, has a well trained k-9, and he does not like-" "Woah. I thought you didn't agree with the height part?" He pipes up from behind you. You exhale a breath of relief, allowing him close. "When have you ever walked up to me without making yourself known?" You raise an eyebrow while reaching for his hand. When he slides his fingers through the gaps in yours, you feel oddly better. Getting through your first year of college with him will be no sweat.Shinso shrugs and kisses your forehead, looking at the doors and the many people walking through it. "Our last day." He comments. You nod and start walking ahead, hand and hand with your lover.----All of your classes were so fun, even the ones where your friends didn't go. Some of your favorite teachers even allowed you to go to another class after attendance.And of course, you were the first to look for Shinso who's schedule you'd memorized on only the second weeks of your relationship.By lunch time, you had so many new memories, a new hairstyle, friends all around you making you laugh every second..It was literally the happiest day of your life.And tomorrow that's it. Graduation, where you and all your friends would probably cry, laugh and say your goodbyes, despite the fact that you're all going to the same college.You were currently sitting besides Shinso who is to your left, and Ochako who's to your right. By her is Bakugou, and across the table is Midoriya, reading glasses on his face while he read aloud the plans he made for this summer. By him is Tenya, who's scolding Izuku for the adult plans he made. Mina took today off to get her nails done for graduation tomorrow, which you already did yesterday."We're all adults now," You reason, reaching over the table and grabbing the notebook from the boy, who gives Iida a cocky smile. "Even so. Getting drunk at this age is bad for our future."Uraraka rolls her eyes besides you, on the verge of yelling back at bakugou who's trying to sketch a drawing for her to create. "Iida, as much as I love you, please let us have this one." She tries the kindest she can. She really changed a lot since your first year.You bump your shoulder against Shinso, who wraps his arm around you to get a better look at what you're holding in your hands. "I don't see anything wrong with the list either. Except the strip club. We should probably take that out." He points, resting his chin on your shoulder and looking at the green head across from you.Izuku raises an eyebrow. "Strip club? I didn't even.." Everyone looks at bakugou who shrugs and continues sketching. You chuckle. "Half the friend group has lovers already, so i think Iida and Bakugou can pursue that dream themselves." Iida's jaw drops. "Absolutely not!"Katsuki shrugs. "I'll go, but Iida might be too much of a pushover." Uraraka snatches the paper from him, finally fed up. "Are you even old enough?" He shrugs. "Maybe not. I'll manage."You turn towards you boyfriend beside you. "Do you have plans for us?" He gives you a smile and kisses your nose, making you feel all warm again. "'course I do." You glance at him lips before Iida starts tell you about how you should keep the PDA strictly hand holding and cheek kisses.Now don't get anything wrong, you and Hitoshi have already had your first kiss a while ago. It's still new and rare, though, so just the thought of it still makes you feel all blushy.After a moment it goes silent. Bakugou sighs heavily. "You guys are boring. Lets just hand at my house after graduation." Ochako looks at him. "Like, a party?""No, like a normal non-truth-or-dare hangout." He corrects, resulting in a shrug. "Maybe Iida should invite that Mei girl he can't stop staring at." Midoriya says, inducing a punch to the shoulder from Iida who immediately apologizes."That's cute. We should all gather partners... except bakugou.. 'cus he's alone." You poke out your lip, leaning towards Shinso when he tries to jump over the table at you. Uraraka presses a hand to his shoulder, face neutral at his antics. "Don't start crying." She says. Katsuki plops down, now back to yelling at Ochako who already had more comebacks for him.While Midoriya tries to deal with Iida's apologies, and Uraraka deals with Bakugou's insults, you look up at your boyfriend and catch a distant look on his face. "You alright?" You whisper low enough so the rest of the group doesn't catch the conversation. "Yeah. I have a lot to think about." You sit up and take the arm wrapped around you, playing with his fingers while listening. "You can tell me." He looks down at you with a somewhat pained expression. Seconds pass before he takes your palm and kisses it, then your wrist, nose then cheek.You almost think he isn't gonna reply until as he's running his thumb over your nails, he finishes. "I know."----There's something completely off about him, you notice. He would typically always tell you if you asked. He was always communicative whenever there was a situation (even though you have literally never argued or disagreed this far into the relationship).Yet, this far, you know he's hiding something from you. And it pained him so bad.He didn't sleep, hardly ate, and his mental stability was honestly questionable. There was so much to know about him. So much you were ready to know. thoughts you were ready to carry, scars you were ready to kiss.The mysteries were what you fell in love with.Shinso Hitoshi was mysterious, even to his girlfriend whom he looks at in a way that he never looked at anything or anyone else.His eyes were dull, staring at the ground while you both walked off to the parking lot. Thinking. Your boyfriend was always thinking about something that nullified the light in his eyes.You reach for his hand, pressing your palm to his. "I've got some things for us to do all weekend!" his lips curl, light appearing once again. "Would you mind sharing those 'things'?" You look up towards the orange clouds above. "Ehhh, honestly, nope! You can wait until after graduation." You hear him sigh. "that's so far away." His eyes turn up towards the clouds along with you. "That's what I used to think. Back when we first got together." You tone drops, and his head snaps towards you. "What's wrong?""Nothing, Just can't believe it's been a year.." His hand tightens around yours, and you stop in front of the car. "It's been the best." You stay there for a moment, glancing up at his face. His hair looks pretty like this, falling down to frame his face, and you feel like reaching for it, but you refrain from doing so. You're the first to pull your hand away. "I'll drive, okay?" He stares down at your disconnected fingers, realizing how much he loved having your hand in his, even if he didn't voice it. "Alright." ----------------------Shinso's eyes had been glued to his phone, so when you took the route to your house rather than his, it didn't cross his mind. when he does realize it though, he looks at you with a hint of confusion. "Graduation-" He attempted to reason as you grab his wrist and pull him inside the door. You hold a finger to your lips while trying not to giggle too loud, pulling him up the stairs and shoving him into your room.After peeking your head outside the door for a minute, you close and lock it, sighing before laughing. "I've officially kidnapped you." You tease, skipping towards him and throwing yourself into his arms. He falls back into your bed with you resting on his chest. "Best kidnapper ever." he brings a nervous hand up before deciding to rest it on your back. You hum.Silence fills the space, and you trace random shapes along his button-up. "I can't stay..."he reminded. You shift, sliding your thigh over his waist so you could straddle him. He knows better than to believe it was in that kind of way.even though he was alone in your bedroom, with the door locked and the lights dim."Why? I've got some clothes for you in my drawer.." You trace higher and higher, until your fingers slide off his shirt and onto his neck. A pretty red blush creeps across the skin, and he turn his head ever so slightly. "[Y/N].." you frown. "I know."Shinso looks at you. All of you. "I'm not leaving this summer." You perk up and lean closer to his face. "Swear kiss." His lips turn up. "You know I wouldn't lie about that. You just wanna kiss me, don't you?" Yours in turn frown. "What's wrong with wanting to kiss my man?" He brings a hand up to play with the perfect edges of your skirt. "Swear Kisses are important." You knock your forehead against his. "So is wanting you. To me, anyway." His hum is a response."So what'll we do?" You ask, feeling him shift under you to sit up. "A bunch. We're adults now, aren't we?" Your eyes soften, and you smile. "Yeah. That's right." You reach for his hair and push it away, behind his ear. "We can do a lot now."You hear your name being called from outside. Shinso doesn't jump, or look afraid. Instead he raises an eyebrow. You try not to burst out laughing, holding a finger to your lips again. You then stand, kissing his forehead before moving towards the door, cracking it open. It's your mother asking what you'd prefer to eat. The conversation is short, but it's enough for you to forget shinso's right behind you and in risk of being caught. When you finish and shut the door, you turn around and he's no longer there. Warm air breezes through the window, and your lips turn downward at the thought of not being able to say goodbye.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Friendship- Today was the day that not only would you graduate, but Shinso would also meet your mother (briefly).  You stand in front of your vanity mirror, putting on some gloss to finish off everything you wore, which consisted of a scarlet dress that hung from your shoulders, but cling to your arms and body. Even though it would be covered by your gown until after you graduate, you believe you can make good use to of it. Your phone vibrates on the dresser, making you smile when you see "Shinnnnn<3333" on your screen. You reach for it and lift it up to your ear. "Are you ready? I'm downstairs."  you fake a gulp. "Well, no. I worry for you." Shinso exhales on the other side. "Do you think it'll go that badly?"  he inquired, and you look at your own surprised expression in the mirror. "You're seriously worried? I don't think she'll hate you or anything... but when we have a kid, which we will, say you catch them kissing another person whom you haven't met or heard about. Wouldn't you feel a little off upon meeting them afterwards?" Shinso sighs again, and you laugh, putting him on speaker and reaching for the gown hanging on your door. "It'll be nothing personal. I told her to be nice." 
"You sure you didn't say 'play nice'?"
 "I might've, but hey, why would I remember something I said two months ago?" You slide your hands through the black material, tying it with a scarlet string similar to the dress you were wearing underneath. Finally, you reach for the cap. "Two months ago.." He trailed. "You said you loved me."  Your heart throbs in your chest, when you remember that night. your hand pauses, and you ball them into fists. "Did that surprise you?" You ask, and he doesn't say anything. not being able to see his face is another problem. "Yes." he finished. You feel like this was a conversation for another time, so you change the subject. "I'm coming down. I hope you weren't waiting long." You have a feeling he shook his head out of complete nervousness. "No. Just got here." You make your way downstairs, phone still in hand. You open the door and stop for a moment, simply marveling in your boyfriend standing before you. "Hi." You say, peering up at his clear eyes that reflected nighttime. You don't know if they look better during dusk or dawn. The suit he wore was almost the same color as your dress, only a couple shades darker, and his hair is so much longer than it was back in May. You smile up at him. "In fact... we still have time. Can I do your hair?"-------"Have you been sleeping?" He questioned you, as you brush through his hair for fun rather than for graduation. You sigh. "Somewhat. Not completely. I mean, Graduation! I am officially finished with school. Starting college." Shinso notices how your eyes kind of sparkle when you talk about it. His lips turn up.  "But I should be asking you." You counter, brushing through his smoothened hair. Never in your days has his hair ever looked bad, whether you've woken up together or not. It's one of the things you added to The Purple Letter, which is what you called the note you gave to him that day. it was still hanging on his wall, along with polaroid pictures and paintings you've created together during those days you could only be together for a couple hours. "Would you like a ponytail? we could be twins! Walking the stage, hand and hand... swinging our ponytails" He chuckles, looking for your face in the mirror. "Though not a bad suggestion, we cannot walk the stage together." You roll your eyes.  "You always ruin the fun in my suggestions." You decide on a bun last minute, so you pull the string out and watch his hair fall over his face again. "Why do you think we're so compatible?" You look at him in the mirror, finding his gaze already on you. Instead of a verbal answer, you lean down, pressing a kiss to his ear. His face's color changed. Then your mother bursts into your room. "Oh, he's already here." She sighs, placing a hand on her hip. "Bold of you to sneak a boy into your room. Alone. Again." You poke out a lip. "I'm so sorry mommy, please don't be mad." "If you weren't graduating I'd be throwing you around." She says, walking further into the room while you turn back to the boy in front of you. "Ma, don't embarrass me." You poke your lip out. Shinso's eyes drop down. As soon as you finish his hair, he stands. "Ma, this is Shinso. Shinso, this is mommy. Be nice to him." She rolls her eyes at the reminder. Shinso instantly bows. "Ms. [L/N]." She shook her head. "Don't bow. let me see your face." He lifts his head.  Your mom takes his face into her hands, inspecting his features. "Hmm... You're not bad looking at all. Surprising; she might've actually gotten a decent boy this time." You groan, "Mommaaaa." After mumbling "alright" a couple times, she inspects his neck, before you swat her hands away and pull him towards you. He looks like spirals are spinning in his eyes and his cheeks are red.  "You're gonna scare him away. We are good children." She holds a finger to your face. "Adults. Graduation, remember." After rolling your eyes, you lean towards her and give her a tight hug. "Speaking of which, we have to go. We've gotta be early." You lean back, pressing a worried hand to his forehead. "Love youuuu," You grab his hand, your things and run down the stairs.-------------Shinso's eyes have been heavy the whole time, you notice. He was never a sleeper, and that was clear back when you'd sit by him during chemistry, acting as if you weren't staring at him when you were in fact doing so. Dark circles always rested underneath his eyes. You used to wonder why he could never sleep well. When you asked, he just shrugs and says "Born that way." Most of the time, when you'd fall asleep by him, you'd wake up to him glancing out the window and he'd smile, teasing you by saying "Good night." Walking hand in hand, you stop in front of the school one last time. Graduates are gathering inside, laughs and chuckles in the air. After blowing out of your mouth once, you smile. Before you could take another step, you hear both names being called from behind you. Spinning, the rest of your friends run towards you. Iida is first, pushing his glasses up onto his face, Ochako's waving and laughing, behind her is Bakugou who surprisingly looks calm compared to his usual self, Midoriya strolls beside him, hands in his pant's pockets. "Were you seriously planning on taking your last step inside without your friends?" Bakugou asks, a hint of irritation evident in the way he cocks his head. "Well my bad, I didn't want this to look like a cringy friendship anime or something. Did you wanna walk holding hands?" "Hell nah," He spoke. "We have to walk in together though, as the stars of the show. You know we carried U.A during our time." "So this is a cringy friendship anime." You state, loosening your fingers from Shinso to hug Uraraka who threw herself onto you. "Are you drunk?" She slowly shakes her head. "Tipsy. No one will notice." Her smile is dreamy and she looks like she's laying in clouds. "Noted..." You look up Shinso, and he's smiling down at you both. Uraraka lets you go as the rest of the group stop in front of you. Midoriya wore a black band t-shirt and equally dark jeans. Chains hung from the sides that matched his earrings. It didn't seem like he wanted to tie his graduation gown, since it's open for everyone to look at. He has a lightning tattoo running down his arm now, spreading all the way to his knuckles. First year Midoriya would laugh in your face if he was told he'd be getting one. Bakugou is the same, wearing a gray hoodie and sweatpants. He has a cross necklace, but other than that he looks the same. You wonder how he managed to get away from his mother, because last time she saw you, she was talking about how he'd wear a suit and slick his hair down. Iida came in the school's uniform, which was typical. "Bakugou now is the time to put your cap on!" He scolds once more. Even on the day of graduation he'll never give it a rest. Your arms wrap around Shinso's. "Come onnn, it's our official last day! Let it go, or I'll shout Mei a message while she's walking the stage." you give a wink. Iida pushes his glasses up. "It is very disrespectful to yell during graduation.. so I'll let you have this one." The group laughs at his very noticeable attempt to hide it. "We gonna go now? I'm so readyyyyyy!" Ochako groans, relaxing when Izuku approaches her and wraps his arm along her shoulder, kissing her forehead. "Yes ma'am. As your 'tipsy' support, I will allow you to go." You notice he must be just as tipsy. "Not without us," Bakugou yells, standing on the other side of Uraraka and evading her attempts to poke his face. Iida is already somehow in front of the entire group. They all look back, waiting for you and Shinso.  Your eyes fall on him, and he's looking at the sky. "Shin?" You ask, and he looks away from the blue for you. "I'm prepared." He assured, threading his fingers through yours. Your lips curl. "Atta boy. Come on." You all start walking, taking your steps towards your future with laughs and memories in the air.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-One year and a couple months.- "...Because of course, in this fantasy, he was holding me, caressing me back. Wanting me back." Shinso quotes from the shared book. The sky is almost a clear blue and the sun is bright today. It's a most perfect afternoon to spend with him. Lied up on a blanket in your empty yard, resting your head against his chest and listening to a mixture of his voice and his heart whenever he took the time to turn the page. After coming back from the book store (which was your favorite out-of-the-house experience) he suggested you read while becoming one with nature. No one's here but you two, and it nothing short of your favorite date. Getting to watch his eyes scan over the book in his hand behind the set of glasses he never typically wore around anyone but you, or closing your eyes and letting every other sense indulge in him. He smell so good. God, what is that scent? You let a finger trace the patterns on his shirt, eyes shut. You hear him call your name, quiet above the slight wind. Your lips upturn, feeling giddy. "Yeah?" Opening your eyes, you squint when the sun beats down on them, until you notice Shinso lifting his hand to block the sun from your view. "Are you listening?" You nod, though rather than listening to the book, you're more immersed in his voice. "Yeah, yeah. Valentines day... Jamie and Autumn." You say, lining your fingers down. "We're talking about Finn." He chuckles, turning the book upside down. He always insisted on calling him Finn, saying that Finny was the name only Autumn should use. "You're not much paying attention, baby." You poke out a lip, looking up at him. "Sorry. I love your voice. It's hard to focus." Shinso hums once. "C'mere. Read with me." He lifts the book again, and you shift your weight onto one arm and scoot up until you're resting on your stomach. "Okay." You grab the left side of the book, and he holds the right. With his free hand, he holds yours. "I am horrible and ungrateful; Jamie is better than I deserve. And even as I curse myself for my selfishness, another selfish thought is crowding my mind, that I'm wasting the happiness I could have."  You recite, continuing from where he left off. You lean your head to his shoulder. "Do you think Autumn was wrong for feeling that way?" He goes silent for a moment, thinking about it. "Honestly? Both her and Finn were, right? Bringing other people into relationships to stop think about each other. That's what I think happened." Your face saddens. "I kinda feel for Jamie and Sylvie." He nods once, placing the book down. You roll to your side to look at him while he removes his glasses. The sun reflects on them. He looks down at you. "I like the way you view it." You stare up at him, silence threads through the two of you suddenly. The only thing you can hear is the trees rustling over head, per the wind. His eyes relay a message he didn't speak aloud. They take in every inch of you, like you'd done to him so many times before. "You're not even trying to hide it." You tease. He scoffs, lifting the glasses up and putting them on you. He takes that slight moment where you close your eyes to peck your lips. "I think I'm kind of smooth." Your lashes flutter. "You could be better," You tell him, grabbing the edges of his shirt to pull him close again. His lips meeting yours is a start, pulling him so that your body to body. Maybe it's something about the view? The thought of not being seen right now? Possibly the idea of taking this somewhere it's never gotten before, but kissing him this way feels different. Like you're both serious about it this time.  Shinso is slow and gentle with you. It's an experience. Your lips fold together and click when they part. Perfect. Months of tiny pecks lead to this. You remove your hand from his shirt, grasping his jaw in hopes of turning his head just right. He looks unsure of what to do with his, so he rests it cautiously on your waist. You push your head back, just to look at him for a moment, thumbs brushing his jaw. He looks edible. Eyes shut, cheeks uncharacteristically pink, breathing gaining speed. You push your forehead to his. His eyes flutter open. After taking your hand from his jaw, you pull it around his neck instead, tugging him down with you as you lie underneath him. His head blocks the sun for you, so you get his face in all over it's glory. "Haven't you kissed someone before me?" It's a massive, unfiltered question that makes some unreadable expression cross his face. "I have." Curiosity is evident on your face. "really? were you in love?" He corrects his face before asking. "Is that really something you'd want to know?" You brush a thumb along the area under his eyes. "I wanna know about your past. You're mine now. It doesn't matter to me who had you before." His head tilts ever so slightly, not exactly answering your question in hopes that you understood. "She's gone now." pain is littered all around his expression. You give him a lot of sympathy. "I'm sorry."  Despite not feeling a single thing for the mystery girl, it's your boyfriend who you feel for. "It's fine." He watches you shift your head to the side, looking down at the grass beside the blanket. "We've been with each other for a year, and I've never known." Shinso attempts to correct the somber mood by cracking a smile. "We're pushing a year and almost a month now. Have you forgotten?" You laugh, poking out your lip. "Maybe. Does this call for punishment?" He can already tell you mean it in a suggestive way. "In fact, it does. No kisses for the next month." You gasp as he manages out of your hold. "Baby noooo!" You sit up as he stands, placing his hands in his pockets and walking backward. "No. It takes a lot to convince me. Try harder." You hurry and strand, tripping on your floral summer dress before catching yourself. "Hitoshi Shinso, I will literally murder you if you deprive me of kisses." He turns, starting a jog. "Yeah? I'd like the sight of your attempt" You start running, leaving behind the cover and book. You'd always leave even the best moments if it meant you could go with him. Follow even at his back for eternity, yet you know he'd never leave you behind him. Because right now, where you look at him like you love him more than anything else, he stood beside you with the same thought evident in his glances.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Flashbackkkk
------------
"Y'know, when you first called I really thought you were in labor. Thought I was gonna be a father for a second."

you lift your head to look at him with a glare.
 You were resting your temple against his chest, stuffed snake between the two of you and clutched to your chest. You listened to a mixture of Princess and the Frog and his heartbeat until your cramps fully subside. You trace your finger along the lines of his shirt, and he twisted your braid along his finger with one and played with the edges of your shorts with the other hand. "Diabolical. We still have yet to partake in those activities." You remind, and his cheeks get a little pink at the mention. "I know. It was only a temporary thought. I was panicking, y'know?" Your reach for his hair, playing with a strand. "You look good when you're panicking," shrugging, You press the heel of your palm into his chest again to hear the way you shift his heart rate. The hand tracing your thigh suddenly pauses. The loss of movement there is irritating, so you reached for the hand, inspecting it. "Panic Shinso is very attractive. I love him." He tilts his head, using the fingers you were playing with to poke your face continuously. "So Regular Shinso isn't attractive and you don't love him? Noted. Hurtfully noted." You roll your eyes, sitting up to get away from his hand. "If it makes you feel better.." You brush his loose hair behind his ear. "Regular Shinso is the version I fell in love with, gave a nickname, and.." down, towards his lip. "If I hadn't started my period, I could've and would've been tongue fucking him right now." His breath catches in his throat before he clears it. "What are you trying to say right now, [Y/N]?" You pat his chest twice. "Just saying I love you for you. In conclusion." You say, eye darting at the sky to make a point... and avoid his gaze. You turn to get off the bed, but he grabs your arm and pulls you right back into his chest. "...Did [Y/N] [L/N] really just admit she's in love with me..?" "As if I could fall in love with a zombie." "Zombie... as in dead? Can't you hear my heart?" "I'm about to rip it out of your chest." "I believe that would be kinda hot to witness." "Keep holding me hostage and you'll find out. In conclusion." "Did you think I'd let you confess to me then run off? We're far from a conclusion. Tell me more." His lips are twisted up into a wide smile, clearly enjoying the navigation of the conversation.  "I'd rather not." You smile like an absolute idiot, pushing him back against the headboard. "Fine," He exhales, watching you try to twist your wrists out of his hold. "I'll tongue fuck it out of you."  And so the day you told Shinso you were in love with him, you cannot lie your way out and claim were not in your right mind because you meant every word of it.  
Present !
 -Training Wheels- As of now he starting to question if you meant what you said that afternoon. Remembering the implication that he was not your only relationship in the past has been weighing heavy ever since your mom spilled it the day of graduation. Imagining something as perfect as you, not a single flaw in sight wanting someone like him. Full of secrets and regret. What did you really want with him? And a lot more of the jealousy is coming from the sight of you holding his cousin.... It was his responsibility to watch Otaka for the next couple of weeks. You loved children and you were equally as good with them... but if seeing the five-and-a-half-year-old held so tightly in a hug by you hadn't made him so sick, he probably would've noticed you calling his name sooner.  "Shinso." You repeat for the fourth, maybe fifth time. He raises his brows with a hum. "The bags. You can put them down. I'll take them upstairs after I grab him a snack." The child perks up, looking up at you like the goddess Shinso always believed you were. "Snack!" He chants happily, jumping once you place him down and running into the kitchen. You turn to face him, placing your hands on your hip. "Well?" "I've got it. I'll just take them up now. Continue... that." he motions towards the path Otaka had taken. You smile. "As you wish." And spin, following loosely behind the toddler as he jumps, expressing how excited he was. Shinso's face is void of emotion, turning to go up your stairs. -----"Ms. [Y/N], can we play hide and seek?" He asks, pulling you along by the hand to get you off the couch where you all were originally watching a show. You give him an angelic laugh as you reply. "Of course. Do you want to count?" he shakes his head. "I want Shinso to count! Hide with me!" He laughs, tugging you along. You stop for a second, looking at your boyfriend for confirmation. "Is that alright?" he nods. "yeah, go ahead."  As you both run off, giggles in the air, he starts counting aloud. When he finds the both of you sitting underneath the dining table, Otaka giggles, you laugh and Shinso further frowns at the way he insist he count again. After another three rounds of Shinso counting, you finally manage to convince Otaka to allow you to count. The child leads the man through the hallways, ducking beside the guest bed. He had to give it to him, the bastard knew how to hide. After he settles in behind the armchair in the corner across from Taka, your optimistic little Ready or not; here I come. Rings through the corridor. "Shinso," Otaka started, leaning back against the nightstand. "Yeah?" "You know what mommy said about... love and stuff?" He asks curiously. Shinso hopes to the heavens he isn't about to confess what he thinks he might. "Family love and the sparkly love." He suppresses an eyeroll. "what about it?" Otaka looks at the ceiling. "I think I might sparkly-love [Y/N]!" He giggles. Shinso laughs a bit. "Really? I think it'll be a couple eternities before she ... 'sparkly-loves' you, Taka." His eyes grow wide and glossy. "What? Why?!" "Because she sparkly-loves me. And when you sparkly-love a person you can't sparkly-love anyone else." He answered, looking at the wall. "It's simple. You'll just have to find another person." Otaka's face holds a familiar amount of anger. "Well, you don't love her, which means I can!" Shinso's head whips towards the child. "What makes you say that?" "The Elders say you're incapable of sparkly-love." Otaka says, eyes glaring in that cold stare so many has before. Shinso cracks a smile. "I guess they're finally dealing their damage, huh?" The child stands, approaching the older male to loom before him. "They say you're a disgrace. Always drawn back to your own DNA." Shinso grazes a hand through his own hair, "Am I to be intimidated, Otaka? I trained you, so you might want to lose snap. You of all people know it could be your neck next time." His glare softens when you whip your head into the room. "Found ya, Taka. Where's your buddy?" You ask, distinguishing fire the animosity has caused. Otaka's lips curl. "Over here!" He snitches, eyes never glancing at the man again. "Well, I only see you, so you'll have to count this time." You lecture, giving him the look when he prepares to pout. "fine."--------- The air of your room is pleasantly cool for the weather outside. Shinso can smell your perfume from the considerable distance between you two in the spacious closet you own. He questions if you'd planned to go somewhere before he dropped the news on you. "He'll find us. Not so soon, but you get it." You speak, sighing and leaning back. He can hardly make you out in the lighting but it's just so nice to have you to himself. He hums, looking around. "I feel like we're in here for a different reason." He can just tell your smirking from the silence that he's met with. "Well, we will have a nosy child with us for a couple weeks. I think this can be our get away." He nods slowly. "A getaway based off of seven minutes in heaven... got it." Otaka alerts that he's finished counting, and Shinso stares at your silhouette for a couple long seconds. "I really don't want this to affect us." He admits suddenly. You laugh gently, approaching him. "What are you talking about, delusional man." You reach for him, resting your palms on his forearms. "Our quality time."  "I never took you for a jealous man, Shin." He looks away momentarily. "I can't help it. You don't get-" He cuts himself off with a wince. "Get what?" He lifts a hand to your face, brushing past hair blocking what would be your view if you could see. "I believe he could really have you if he wanted."  You laugh this time. "Do you think I'd leave you for a child, Hitoshi Shinso? I am insulted you even imply such." "that's not what I mean." You press your forehead to his. "Of course. I wouldn't get it, right?" He goes silent. "Don't be like that. I know you'll explain when you can." You feel him nod against your temple, which pushes your head ever so slightly. Silence for a moment. "I truly do love you, Hitoshi." You feel his nose brush yours, bringing your heads closer. "Yeah?" He asks, but he knows he answer. Especially when you kiss him the way you do afterwards.  Always so gentle and slow with him, mirroring your patience with his secrets and pain you catch in his eyes. He didn't deserve that - you. Not with the family he came from. Not with the things he'd done. He needed more from you. He couldn't bare to handle how gently you carried this relationship. He needed something wild from you. Something that hurt. Like you screaming at him. Pushing him away, hurting him in some way. Some familiar way. A way that felt like home, or he wouldn't know what to do with himself. So there he was, pushing you. Pushing you towards the edge you didn't seem afraid of teetering, biting down on your bottom lip to pull that gasp from your lips. His hands come up a second later, resting on your waist. "Why so- mmh -patient with me?" He asks, panting against your skin as he says it, unable to fathom letting your mouth go in this moment. Not when you're pushing him against the shelf behind him like this could go somewhere insane. You both stumble, eagerly reaching for each other as the kiss escalates further. "just told you," You mumble very half-assed, pushing your hands under his shirt and soaking up his heat like you were drowning and he was the air you lacked. You lacked the touch. The feel of him. Everything you ignored initially. "I love you." He grunts, hands mirroring you as he pulls them underneath your fabric, eyes pressed shut and he just melts into your lips and skin. "Stop. Don't.. don't say that. Not right now-" Before you could even get a reply out, you hear the quick steps of Otaka running into your room. "Ms. [Y/N]! I'm gonna find you!!" He teased, looking behind the door. You and Shinso have never been quicker to separate. In fact, so quick you almost fall and he hardly caught you, but in return for that, his hand thumps against the wall to steady himself. Otaka is quick to reach the closet, yanking it open just in time to find the two of you, slightly out of breath and pointedly avoiding each other's gaze. "Good job Taka!" you praise, reaching to ruffle his indigo hair. He beams at the praise. "It's getting late. You're gonna change and then head to sleep alright?" Taka blows disappointingly out of his mouth, spinning to leave the room.------ Not only had the conversation from earlier pissed Hitoshi off, but watching his little cousin rest very snuggly on your chest in between the two of you was equally as humbling. The sound of you patting his back rhythmically fills the silence only his snores and the fan whirs over. "I love everything you do," You sing, or more like whisper him to sleep. "When you call me really dumb for the stupid things I do. wanna ride my bike with you.." Your eyes are closed and relaxed, much like the song you sing. Even when you change the lyrics. You make it slower and even sweeter when it comes from your lips.  The same lips he'd just bitten and bruised.  "Fully undressed," He never thought himself to be a man very fond of marking you, y'know? You were always his to begin with. Why be so afraid of someone stopping that? He looks at you. Calmed, breathing steady, eyes heavy with tiredness. And he put that on you by being who he were.  "Are you blaming yourself for something?" You ask suddenly, and Shinso stiffens at the very sudden inquiry. Instead of awaiting his answer, you give a small chuckle. "I notice a lot about you Shinso. You're full of mysteries." You halt your patting hand, waiting for Otaka to react. When he doesn't, you slowly let your eyes flutter open to catch glimpse of the man before you. "You're willing to learn about everything." He says it like a statement, yet he's clearly unsure. You lift your head a bit to look at him, moonlight gracious against his skin. "And I meant that. No amount of convincing will change my mind." You reach for him, pressing knuckles to his cheek. He's cold. "I'm sorry I never say it back." He said suddenly, and your brows raise in surprise. You noticed. Of course you did. But you were okay with that. "I don't want to question why." you state, intrigued with the path this conversation is taking.  "[Y/N]," a beat. "Yes, my love?" "...I think it's about time you met my mother." Maybe he was willing. Maybe some part deep within him was prepared to fully become yours. Through secrets, that is. "Shinso," "Yeah?" 
"no training wheels left for you."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-1 AM- 
"A girl?"
 Shinso folds his arms, standing in the middle of a golden room - throne high before him. "A woman." He corrects, subtle irritation evident.  "You want me to meet a girl whom the elders has not approved of? Let alone one I only now hear about?" A booming laugh resonates through the room. One that would've scared him if he was a little younger. A little more cowardly. She reaches a hand behind herself, crossing her leg and pulling beautiful purple hair over her shoulder before crossing arms as well. "Hitoshi, I believe I've raised you better than this." Abruptly she stands as if sitting suddenly irritates her, slowly stepping down from the throne. Pacing. "I believe I've accumulated permission to live the way I desire." He countered matter-a-factly, moving to stand straight. Her attention suddenly halts and he senses malicious aura. Towards her own child. "Only until you're 19, remember? A life for two years of freedom. All these disappointing sacrifices." She laughs humorlessly in his face. but rather than presenting even a sliver of negative emotion, Shinso rather smiles himself. "I always imagine all you've lost up to nineteen, Mother. It brings the most genuine of smiles to my lips." Her eyes dim in light. "DNA never changes. You even come here in color, my child." She motions towards his attire. Purple. The same as his hair. "Just like The Father." Shinso pulls his hands to his pocket, trekking backwards toward the exit. "Can't deny the color suits me. My DNA as well." He takes a pause, looking at the floor with a thoughtful upturn of his lip.  "Hitoshi." Eyes met, difference in color. Similarity in gaze. "You will not run from your fate any longer. I will meet your girl. I will observe and find her less. You will marry whom we desire when the time comes." Shinso takes a look at his mother's hair. A reminder of all. He turns his back to her. Shunning his former life. One that won't be so former soon. "You have another year before you decide my fate." He bit. Before leaving, he stops in the doorway, lips down casting. "You should focus more on Otaka's First Witness. They grow up so fast." With that, he disappears. Silent as ever.----------------------------------------------------------------- It's one in the morning. 1 o'clock when Shinso opens the door to your room. You weren't sleep. Something odd twists in your gut upon seeing him. As if on que, Otaka curls against your chest. Still asleep. "[Y/N]," He said once. He doesn't look the same. Something different. Something unspoken. In the unmasking dark, you do see that. "Shin,"  Managing to sit up just a little to flick on the lamp beside the bed, you see him so much better. "I need.. I just.. could we-" His words bubble in his chest until he has to pause to speak correctly. So much he wants to say. Where to start.  "Can we get out for a minute?" He crosses his arms, eyes to the floor. You pause before scoffing a laugh. "Shin, it's 1:25 in the morning." He releases his stance to run fingers through his hair. "I know- I know. I feel like I'm just... suffocating right now. Everywhere else I go. I need air. I just wanna grab some air. With you." His final statement brings you right to your senses, so an understanding smile crosses your mouth. "Okay." ---------------Nighttime was beautiful during a summer day. Or, maybe its just so much better with him there. Dark times like these usually don't even occur to you. Not before you began dating your wonderful, gut clenching man. Arising from the hours of 1am didn't feel as bad as it should've if you'd rested like he commended before he left earlier. In the end it took more of a toll on the child resting in the backseat. Shinso drove beside you, eyes ahead and angry for some reason. "Are you mad at me?" Your inquiry was the first thing you'd said since you tucked Otaka. "No! No, I'm not." He says quickly, composing himself. "I could never get angry at you for something like that." Reaching, you rest a hand against his thigh in reassurance. "You can always call the meeting off, Shin. I don't mind" In all honesty he had thought about doing so more than anything, but he knew he couldn't. Thoughts of your words that night wouldn't allow that. Not anymore. "it's not that, love. Promise." He refutes, loosening his toughened grip on the wheel. "I wanted it to be everything you've ever wanted. I did, but when it's not all you imagine what do I do?" He says it with do much stress you have to tighten your hold on his leg to ground him.  Shinso glanced at you momentarily. For a moment you think long and hard about what he's asking.  "You still don't get me?" The light from the city disappears as Shinso pulls into the sleeping part of it. "Nobody in your family could ever change how I feel about you. One experience. One rumor will not cause any hate to form for you." You take a second to look at Otaka."I'm so deep into this. So in love with you that anything I learn from this point I can accept. Even if it wasn't what I wanted. Even if you're a completely different person than what I thought you would be." The car rolls to a brief stop. Shinso finally looks at you. "I'm willing, Shinso." A moment passes between you two, and despite not having any words to describe it, you get it. "Okay. I hear you." Silence now, but not as murky as before. He's looking ahead again. "And I'm here. Always." He adds. Upon the statement you can help but to feel as if he means something else by it.------- You simply marvel at the sight; quiet city, blue water turned dark due to nighttime. Sand deep in color during this night- or... morning. The water moves in gentle waves, moon reflecting from it. The air is warm to further indicate summer time. Shinso's hair even glimmers in the light. Even the sight of little Otaka running along the shoreline isn't enough to shake your immersed eye. He knew you were staring. He always knew. "My mother thought it was a nice touch as well. Before she changed." Shinso spoke, pulling hair between his fingers and finding your eyes. The wind blows, moving his hair along. With wonder in your gaze, you question him with your eyes.  "She used to be so loving. Made time to bring me here when I was three or so. Then she got promoted." Oddly, his lips form to a smile thinking upon the memories. "Promoted? Like at her job?" For a moment he kicks the sand with his feet. Wonders if he should keep talking. "Promoted Savior." The title makes you still for some reason, before you turn to the child in front of you. "Is that your family's version of "queen"?""If such is what you wish to call it. I guess so." He takes the cover you would be using, wrapping it around your shoulder. "Are you willing now, Hitoshi?" You ask, watching his back as he parts from your side. You hear his rare, gentle laugh. "Yes. Perhaps." --"Slow down, 'taka!" You'd called from your distanced spot on the cover. In return he scoops water and throws it above with a childish giggle that brightens the still night. "You're so tensed." He noticed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder when you slump into his. "I don't know what I'll do if I lose you or 'taka." He did not speak right away, so for a minute you bathe in the feel of him. "In my dreams, there's this important man. 6 years of marriage with his wife, yet it was not enough for him" You lift yourself up, settling a hand on his thigh to steady yourself and you give undivided attention while he continues.  "And so he met another girl. there was curse upon her. One day she was said to leave the world in ruins. He heard about it. He wanted her." Shinso looked you in the eyes with frustration. It occurs to you that the dreams had been weighing on him for a while.  "Men indulging in their selfishness. Runs in their blood." So bitter in tone. So unlike him."He got her in the only way men know. Left her half dead and beaten. His greed the curse. When the wife learned what her husband did, she sought the girl and together they swore revenge on the man through a special ritual. Began a clan of death and torture. They came back and killed him in an unimaginable way, but with that joy another problem appears." Shinso stops for a moment, looking to see if you were still following. Your were so immersed you could not direct your attention. "Her stomach swelled with the seed of the man. A reminder of the past. A boy. She swore upon a ritual that he would take on everything. But it ends up going wrong. The boy grew and surrendered his title and left. First man born, first to leave." You squeeze his arm. "Why?" "He fell in love with a woman outside the family. Someone he couldn't be with as he was soon to be betrothed. He went on to live a normal life. The mother was not happy about it. There was now no one to take the spot. She remarried, and had another child. A girl. The clan would not bore another son. Not for centuries."  "What do you think the curse was, [Y/N]?" The sudden question startles you, and for a minute you think about it. "Maybe there was no curse. She could have cursed herself with the way she went about what happened to her." You looks for the same stars Shinso did, hoping you might see the beauty that made his eyes shine. "I can't blame her." "You're wrong." His words make you jump slightly. "The curse was the bearing of women." His lips upturn in a smile that didn't seem very happy."After many, many years of birthing women, the second son was born. He was a slave to his newly-created life. When he turned 4, he was instantly thrown into the cycle of murder. The elders made sure not to leave any holes where he could get out." He looks up to the sky. "Having all women must have meant that as the only man, he held great responsibility." You confirm, breath hitching when he agrees. For a moment, nothing. Until it hit you.  "What happened to the second boy? Do the dreams end there?" Shinso closed his eyes when the wind gives again. "My dreams blur when it comes to him. I recall seeing him fighting another son. The last. After that, sleep stopped coming to me." His opens his eyes slowly, staring at the sand. "I awoke in a cold sweat during my last dream. Headache, weak body. All you can think of. I passed out and missed school because of it." The sounds of air around him fills his ears. You cup his face. "What do you think the dream meant?" You'd asked. Shinso had no answer for you.  He leans away from your hands, plopping against the cover with a chuckle. "Came here to get my mind off shit, yet here I am." He turns his head to you. "Telling you my traumatic dreams." You lean over him, arm resting against his chest. "Don't be stupid. I'll listen to anything you tell me, delusional man." With a laugh he reaches for your free hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. "Of course. Thank you."----"Head off to the car. I'm gonna help Taka get dry, okay?" You were so tired by the time it was time to go, you actually listened to Hitoshi when he told you to head to the car first.  Thinking back on the things he'd told you it was hard to even imagine a resting Shinso, not to mention a side of him anxious and stressed. But, well, his reaction in the car was new as well. It felt nice walking in warm weather during night time, but tonight whenever you're alone, you feel chills like it was cold. Glancing around, you notice the fact that it's awfully quite around this area. Surprising, for a beach. Nonetheless, you continue on the trek to the parking lot, hoping Shinso and the child would follow suit very soon. Wind blows, and for a moment you pause and look behind yourself in an attempt to figure out where the remaining two went. The lot was empty. You reach for your phone, "I didn't really wanna hurt you." You hear too close to your ear, unusual warmth seeping onto your skin. Too.. different to be the wind. Too indistinct ... feminine to be Shinso. Your chest bursts into frantic pulses, body feeling like needles are poking every inch of you. Suddenly, your instincts are telling you to run. Dropping everything you were holding prior, you twist on your heel to attempt a quick, unpredictable sprint away from whoever managed to walk up on you without not a single one of your senses detecting them, yet instead they grasped your braids and slammed you onto Shinso's car, hand grabbing harsh at your throat next. Despite the dark, you see clearly see the reflection in the car's window. Purple strands glimmer and blow in the air.  
It's too familiar. 
 A sweet smell penetrates your nose.  
Yet so different.
 Purple eyes. The voice in the back of your head screams for Shinso over and over, yet..... Something else tells you that you don't exactly want that for him. Clasping your eyes closed for a moment in an attempt to reserve some kind of energy, you realize that the person who came to your rescue after mere moments of struggle wasn't him. Not exactly. Not yet. The adrenaline continues in your skin. Enough to when the single hand grabbing your wrists painfully hard loosen up, you can fight your way out of the death grip on your throat. And when you turn around, disbelief is all around you, disassociating you from your surroundings and leaving you in a state of bewilderment. Tunnel vision overrides every other sense and all you see is your boyfriend's cousin grabbing their neck with one hand. Otaka's should-length hair breezes with the sand faintly carried by the wind, smile stretched so wide on his features it reminds you of a child playing with their best friend. But no, this was a child choking a human being like he found sick amusement in it. Circling around, then shoving his foot onto the back of the person, they crumble to the floor. "Shinsooo, handle the rest for me, huh? I'll be in a buncha trouble if I kill someone other than my First Witness." He calls out into the dark, giggling.  At the time you cannot avert your attention from the little boy. One you had shared many laughs with. One you'd sing lullabies to when he slept over. You cannot avert your attention until.... oh. Until Shinso arrives behind you, so quiet you didn't notice. Not like you would've, since he  became so questionably silent whenever he would come up to you.  His hand makes something questionable fly through your skin, and suddenly you can no longer tell if its pleasant. "Take a step back for me." He spoke. Between incredibly serious and sweet, you can't place his tone. You watch his back closely when he moves past you before you can even see his face another time. Secrets spill all around you.  "You're willing. Make sure you watch close." You suppress a wince as if what he'd bound to do already stung and burned it's way into your skull. Within the confines of his pocket, he pulls out an object that glimmers beautifully in the light. You dread what such a sightly thing will be used for. Stopping before the mysterious, still struggling person, he lifts said object to the person, gaze unwavering and meticulous. You find your hand slightly lifting. Ready to say something but... Being with Shinso makes you realize a lot. The most beautiful things can be such brutal weapon when wielded by wrong. And he was the perfect representation of such. When the sharp sounds the person choking on their own blood begins to fill the silence of the night, you lower your hand and do not look again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

-Distance- Otaka's laughs feels taunting around the car. The only thing you caught a glimpse of was the sight of blood splattered along the concrete and Shinso's shirt. He led you to the car a moment afterwards and you do not miss the way he avoids contact. Blood dripped from his fingertips and splashes onto the ground soundlessly. It's quiet and cold in the front seat. Like its been ages since you've sat in here. Instead its been merely an hour and your entire point of view has been altered. It's hard to think clearly and you haven't taken much time to process it. When Otaka-beaming like nothing had happened or because it did- swings the backdoor open, you realize just how tense everything made you.  "You shouldn't be so jumpy with me, Miss [Y/N]." He teased, climbing in and leaning on the arm rest between your seat and Shinso's. "Cat's outta the bag, but I still have a buncha respect for you." You face forward and pull your legs to your chest. "You'd better." You manage, listening to his laugh which once lifted your mood every single time. This time around, you can't tell if its adorable or scary. The door to your left opens up and in slides Shinso, hair tied up above his head. When he slips into the seat, the first thing he does is turn to the boy in the backseat. "Otaka. You knew better than to let an outsider catch glimpse of what we do, not to mention attack someone other than your witness." He huffs gently behind you, and you feel it close to your neck. "Soften up. She would've realize it soon enough anyway, since you spilled the beans about your dear 'dreams'." Behind you he makes quotations with his fingers. "Plus, Miss [Y/N] is no snitch. I'm sure she'll keep a secret if it refers to me." "Did you clean everything up?" You find yourself asking aloud. It didn't feel like the best option since you experience the chilling feeling of their eyes piercing you due to the inquiry.  Shinso doesn't answer, twisting the key to start up the car. "It's late. You should head to sleep as soon as we get back." He's changed the subject. "I don't think you can make demands right now, Hitoshi." You state firm, lifting your head to meet his eyes. It makes you think about everything. How much you loved eye contact with him. How smooth his eyes could glide over your skin when you allow it. Yet, this side of him was so firm and steady, he doesn't sidetrack your gaze for a second. "I can say the same to you. You said you were willing." "That was before I watched you kill a man!" He inhales sharply for a second, biting his lip. "It wasn't a man," He corrects, resulting in a curt laugh. "How solid of you, correcting genders at a time like this. So what?" Otaka sighs in the backseat. "Jeez, [Y/N], have a bit of respect for the dead. That woman we got rid of is part of our clan. No law goes against us killing one another." He taps the headrest you were resting against. "The weak die at the hands of the strong. The ones who can really channel their DNA." As he spoke, you look at Shinso's hands and note that the blood was long gone. "What the fuck," You find yourself saying, burying your face into your knees. "I gotta be lucid dreaming right now."   No one says anything more for the rest of the ride, save for Otaka singing Mariah Carey in the back.----------Distance is loud and present between you.  Trying to ignore it makes your chest ache, but attempting to clear the air made it a bit worst. Lately, your past weeks was all Ochako, and hardly any all-nighters on the phone, babysitting Taka or curling into Shinso's chest when you needed a break. It wasn't right. Not being around him- not having his gentle 'morning' in your ear to wake you up while sunlight beams through, casting his hair in a golden light. That was probably what you missed most of all. You stood anxiously, chewing on your nail as your eyes narrow at the love letters he's written over the year, strung on your wall. "I've never seen you both so.. distanced." The words hit so hard you can't even deny them. Uraraka clutches your pillows closer to her chest. "Whenever your together, it's like his purple forms into this beautiful indigo. I've never seen anything like it." She inspects you closely as you took a seat at the edge of the bed. "I feel so stupid, Ochako." Her gaze goes soft and she hands a pillow to you. "I told him I was ready for all of his secrets, yet the moment he tells me one I just..." You trail off, brows knitting together. "I love him, despite it all. Even if something screams at me to stop, I'm too deep in this." Your friend brings a hand to your cheek, brushing back hair and tucking it. "That's just you, baby. Nothing to be ashamed about. If his secrets are so hard for him to carry, all that kindness you hate might just be what he's needed all his life." Ochako drew her gaze up to the ceiling. "You've always been the bigger person, so be that for him. And who knows? Maybe whatever he's carrying, he can let it all go. Just for you." 
I don't think murdering is as simple as that.
 You smile anyway. "In fact," Uraraka sprung up, reaching for your forgotten phone resting on the vanity and throwing it beside you. "Why don't you call him? Clear all this up. It's been a week already." Your mouth goes agape before you laugh nervously. "Right now on a random Wednesday? Come on Ochako, that's absurd." "Love is absurd." She says dreamily, throwing herself onto the bed. "Come on, I wanna hear his conversation." Despite it all, hearing his voice does seem soothing. You weigh your options and decide there shouldn't be anything wrong with contacting him.  If you couldn't hear him in the morning time, at least you could have him speak like he's beside you. The dial is long and slow. Every second felt like it was twisting around your heart and suffocating it in unfamiliar purple. Bruising. It's never taken this long. "[Y/N]." You heard noises on the other end, then soft spoken and lacking belief. Shinso answered your call and held sincerity in his words. You exhale, eyes shutting in satisfaction. "Shinso." "I was just about to call." He stated. You allow yourself to open your eyes once more, anger slightly settling in. Your hands tighten around the phone in hand, eyes narrowing toward your reflection in the mirror. "I'm coming to get you." "What?" You ask, springing up and sparing Ochako a glance. It dawns that you can hear cars in the background. "What's wrong?" "You know about me." He says, and you know he can't explain everything to you right now. You look outside of your curtains. "Deku's coming to pick up Uraraka." Your eyes widen, and you turn your head so she can't suspect anything. "I'm with Uraraka." You inform him. "I know. " "Ooh! Deku's picking me up. I'll get out of your hair and let you and him finish your chat, 'kay?" She sat up, lips curling in excitement as she gathers her things. "Alright," You say to her softly, averting your attention back to him. "Are you gonna tell me what's happening?" "I'm late. I was supposed to bring you to my mother days ago but... you know what happened. Either I take you to her myself or they take you." His words make you stop enough to where you could hardly wave to the optimistic girl sprinting down the stairs. "They?" He didn't go further. "Is she gone?" He asked instead, and after your confirmation he exhaled. "Good. Pack a bag, maybe two. You might not be home for a couple days." "Is this necessary for a singular meeting?" You question, yet you're grabbing a bag from the corner. "You're making this sound a bit extreme." "I think I'm making it pretty moderate compared to how it really is." As you're throwing clothes in, you pause for a moment. "You've spilled a deadly secret to me, and yet you continue holding back." "You stopped contacting me for a week. I think my actions are valid." Your lips part, but you know not a word can defend the reaction you gave. You hear a car pull into the driveway, your eyes widen. "Are you-" 7 knocks, low but heavy.  You sprinted to the front door. Shinso's appearance was nothing like how you expected. His eyes were always so gorgeous to you but when you open that door, he was busy peering distantly into his own thoughts. The lack of shine was nothing like what he'd let you see from time to time. This time around, secrets spreading into a deepened pile of darkened purple, his irises are an inexplicable royal indigo. You wonder for a moment if this is him. The real boy you were supposed to fall in love with. Only, the moment you caught glimpse of his eyes, it all fades so quickly you think you might've imagined it. He looks like he might hug you. Kiss you even, but the shock from the difference in eye coloring must've given him the wrong idea because instead, he's drawing his eyes to the floor. "Finish packing?" He changed a subject you hadn't even began to speak on, easing past you gently to make his way up the stair. You close the door, sprinting to follow behind him. "No," "It's fine. I'll grab the rest for you, okay? Just change so we can leave." You nod slowly feeling as if he isn't really before you. It's like a hazy dream, hardly registering. Something so beautiful about the constant switch between this new side and the one you love so very much. ---------Nostalgia hits hard once you're in the front seat. No music between, just the sounds of Shinso gunning down highways. It's too silent. So distancing. With each second, further and further you find yourselves moving. along the highways, along different routes.  It's hurting worst, your chest.
'what is this feeling?'
 "I hate this lack of communication between us." You found yourself admitting, leaning your head back against the headrest. He's driving a lot faster than usual. "So do I." He says, almost disappointingly. "Your words that night makes it so hard to lie." He bit down on his lip. "I'm fine meeting your family, but you need to be honest before that." You tilt your head to look at him. It's a honey trap. always works on him. "You have 2 days to unpack all of this." It's a warning. His voice tells you that. "I want it all now." His brows press together, so frustrated. "I'm not mad at you for wanting distance. Witnessing death is not something you can shake. I know that now, and that's why I'm sorry." His hands tighten around the wheel dangerously. It reminds you of the grip he held on the women that night. "It's all I ever grew up with. Not surprising I lack basic human sympathy." "Don't say that. Not around me." Something with his words caught you off guard and pissed you off. Acting off something like affection takes something genuine and vivid in the heart. The Shinso you've known up until last week was the perfect embodiment of that, whether he told you he loved you or not.  "If that's what you grew up with, tell me more about your surroundings." He laughed, though nothing was very funny. "Privileges, blood, money and servants. Nothing's more important than the first three. When you grow up around that shit, it's only natural for you find it ineffective after so long." He's looking at you suddenly, and you remember his capabilities. That look in your eyes, your body language, nervous blinking. "My 'dreams' have been my reality since I've been born. I'll never be able to stop doing this. Not until I die. Not until every bit of this DNA is drawn away from my skin." He averts his attention back to the road, and you pull your legs to your chest. Slowly, this ice was breaking between you two. That's what you wanted to believe. His lips are no longer sealed shut, humorless laugh floating into the air, filling the infinite space you keep widening.  "Everyone considers her a savior. Every women in the clan. She's above all. And me, being only the second boy to be born and her son.. I have major responsibilities." "Killing." "Being with me makes that all you'll ever witness." When he made an exit, your skin pricks in anticipation. You know you're almost there, watching his jaw set in place. Your expression sours in pain for him, yet you know you will not- cannot go anywhere. Even if you did watch your boyfriend murder someone and dispose of the body like it was the easiest thing ever. "This stuff I've grown around... The shit I've done for as long as I can remember. [Y/N], none of this is normal for you, but my normal is very different." He breathed through his mouth in a sharp inhale, on the verge of breaking apart. It's worrying what might happen when he does. "y'know, when men in the clan disobey an order they experience what she calls the 'distancing'."  "Should I ask what that is?" His lips form into that gorgeous grin telling you 'no', yet he continues on like it's something to joke about. "Stuck in this isolated space for weeks on end. No food, no sleep, no sound or comfort. Distancing you from your people, your communication and humanity. Only friend a razor awaiting in the corner. Typically it's only for those who get Bonded and disobey, but for the men of the clan it can happen as well." "What's this bonding thing you keep talking about?" He shook his head. "People of tainted blood can still be connected to my clan. If my mother finds you useful, you'll be bonded. If you go through with certain contact with a member, you're bonded." "..Am i..?" "No." He's so quick to say it, like he's been waiting the entire time for the question to make it's appearance. "I've been working so hard for years to ensure you wouldn't be. It's not very pretty what you must do. Especially as a women of my family." Something of relief is in your veins when he assures you. You realize you've been tense the whole time. "When you meet my mother," He tilts his head to you, smile somewhat genuine this time. "you have to play dumb, or you will die." -------------Pulling into what he called the Wit's Estate was hardly what you were expecting. The exterior was extraordinarily exceeding your expectations. In fact, it was so shocking that you barely felt worthy of stepping foot onto the mulberry steps. The walls of the mansion stretched so high above, it had you wondering what destruction it would bring if these walls crumbled down. Like the very loving boyfriend he was, Shinso offered a hand, sensing your discomfort. "Don't feel so unworthy of taking a step." He spoke softly, looking up the many step you've yet to ascend. "This very building and it's contents should bow at your very worth, do not think it the other way around." Such a way with words, when he used them. "You've been switching personalities on me all day." You hesitate, palm reaching apprehensively toward his. When you skin makes contact- the first in a week, it's all so different. Stripped bare yet no where near vulnerable. "You'll only have to guess which is the real me."  Your eyes shine up at him as he guides you along the steps. With each tap of your shoes against the marble, sunlight glimmers off the surface and right onto his strands, blowing behind him. "I know which is the real you." You're so confident that he laughs softly, releasing your hand to offer his arm instead. You realize you've reached the top. "Is that right?" "You may have secrets, but you show signs of affection too. I'm onto you, Shinso." Slowly slipping your arm into his firm, comfortable grip, he pokes your nose like he would've if this was any other day and leans in. "I have you to thank for that, then." pulling back, his eyes bore deeply into yours, shine back in them. For a moment you can almost believe you're the one who placed it there- Even when the door before you open to welcome your presence (or more so his), his gaze is stuck on all you, and turning a blind eye to it was impossible and absurd. "Y-young master has returned...!" A women, clothed in a bleak, pale yellow corset and a white apron gasps, nearly dropping her tray when she sees him and you fold and look away from him first. She bows so low, you head is only mere inches from the ground. When her head lifts, her face is flushed pink. "You're never back so soon. Is the Savior expecting you..?" Her words trail when she finally catches glimpse of you. "Oh! I'm so sorry! Please, I will escort you to Her Majesty right away-" "No need. Continue with your task, Emma." Shinso dismissed smoothly. "I will be seeing to our guest myself this time around. Do not bother with any services. She can tend to herself." He tugged you along, toward another set of stairs. "Though, it would be nice if you could fetch her bags. They're quite a handful for her to deal with." ------------"it's not a lot, but it's enough for a couple days." He must have forgotten he's been raised in such a rich environment. The room was completely white in contrast to the never ending purple just outside. The pillars were engraved with golden carvings that were so precise you could see it from the doorway, and right in the middle of the four supporting posts was the massive, angel white bed that definitely wouldn't have fit into your room. The headboard above the mattress was beautiful all in itself, morphing from strips of pale ribbon in the corner into an owl just in the middle. "This is just..." You exhale, slipping yourself from his hold to take it all in, and he stays where you left him, hands digging into his pockets as he watched your admiration. "A lot of this stuff I spent making during my Distancing." You look at him over your shoulder, eyes moving to where he motions toward. A mirror stretching up so high it could've reach the ceiling- outlines protruding for emphasis on the white wooden roses turned to dying lilacs, all frozen in motion like fallen petals captured in a picture. His art was so real it makes you upset.  "You never told me you were such a beautiful artist." You say, gathering to your knees and sinking into the light carpet at your feet to run your fingertips over the vivid carvings of the mirror. He gives a negative hum from his spot. "It's not something I really appreciate doing." You catch his expression, disinterest and guarded. "Anyway, I'll have your things up in a minute, alright?" He takes a step back, twisting his body to leave. "You can have some time to yourself to think on what you'll say to my wondrous mother in a couple hours." You perk your head up to get a better look at him. "What? Stay with me. Tell me more about all of this." You ask, looking at the ceiling and taking in more decor. Truth was, witnessing his departure gave you an odd sense of ptsd when you recall the way he bore his back to you that night after dropping you off. "Why? We're so distanced at the moment, I don't think staying beside you will ease the tension."  Once again he was so unafraid to address the elephant in the room. You bit your lip once before exhaling. "I'm sorry. I know it wasn't fair to you how constantly I said you could tell me anything, just for me to ghost you after I found out. I get you understand my point of view, and I get yours as well." You stand, approaching him and reaching for his sleeve, grabbing it to make a point.  "On May 25th, during our second year at U.A, I told you I was willing. I didn't know what it meant at the time because I was stupid and young and more curious than anything, but right now I love you more than I'm willing." "If you love me more than you're willing to learn about me, I can leave in peace." Shinso pushes forward, forehead knocking against yours. Only a couple days apart, yet every touch feels different and refreshing, though you do miss the old ways. He's so close, like he might kiss you. With the way his nose brushes yours, you're hoping for it.  His hand lifts from their pockets, twisting a braid around his finger like he's done times and times before. At the very least, some of his habits still make room in that unpredictable head of his. "A year and a couple months ago, I told you I was willing to be yours." He leaned back, eyes glued to yours. "I meant that from the bottom of my heart." This time when he steps back, you find yourself unable to stop him. "See you in a bit." Your heart aches again. You'd finally realize this painful feeling he gave you was distance, larger than any conflict you've faced together before.