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“Mike! Mike Mike Mike!” Tom shouted. He was holding a newspaper in his little inarticulate hand and something had definitely stirred him up. Since Mike was taking his morning exercise, Joel was making breakfast. Sharing space with Mike was weird, but he wasn’t about to ask Pearl’s logic on the whole experiment thing.“Mike’s in the exercise wheel but I’m here for you, little buddy,” Joel said. The utter glee in Tom’s voice made him wonder what on earth could be so exciting to the little guy.“Good news! Your proposal to Mike is ALL over the world wide interweb!” he bounced. “If we play this right, we could get free stuff out the wazoo!”“Propose? What the heck are you…” Joel suddenly remembered the day before, when he’d sarcastically asked Mike to marry him for making the whole group RAM chips and salsa con queso casserole. “Good gravy! Tom Servo, I wasn’t asking that man to marry me!”“Well, you know this and I know this and everyone else knows that HERE, but no one out there knows it!” Tom said. “Which means we can get people to make with the free stuff and you and Mike don’t have to get married or anything!”“That’s not honest at all,” Joel tutted Tom. “And I know I raised you better than that.”“Sure,” Tom said. “But you also raised me to like free TVs and stuff.”“I guess it’s my fault,” GPC admitted. “From what Tom and Magic Voice told me, I thought you were really in love. And who’m I to stand in the way of you two little charmkins falling in love?”“Oh no, not the charmkins stuff!” gagged Crow. He was eating a sandwich.“OK, what do you have to do with this, Crow?” Joel wondered. Because of course each of them likely had a hand in it.“Yeah, I answered the phone and they were asking for the two guys with big heads, and I was bored and we were gonna go watch Murder…She Wrote. So I said you were gonna have a darling spring wedding.” Crow affected a plummy Minnesota accent. “With so many rosebuds and Anne Marie catering things with a nice piece of cake.”“We’re not going to cater anything. Why would you do something like this?”“I wanted to experience a world of happiness and excitement!” Tom said.“I want wedding gifts!” Crow said.“I just think it’s time for you and Mike to stop living in sin,” GPC said.“Don’t ask me, I’m just a cameraman,” said Cambot.“Well, this is just great.” Then Mike emerged from the shower after his exercise and Tom immediately cornered him. “Mike! Our little friends here doesn’t want to marry you! Tell him why it’s a good idea or we’ll snag on you when you go to sleep tonight.”“Um,” Mike said. “I didn’t know you cared, Joel, but I’m not really into the whole marrying guys thing. I can set you up with my Cousin Louie if you’re into blonds or something…”“Never mind – you bunch are in big trouble,” Joel said. “No desserts, I mean it.”The gang of robots proceeded to boo Joel lustily. Except for Tom, who started to cry.“But I wanted to buy a bridesmaid’s dress.”“Come on, buddy, we’ll get you a pretty dress anyway, okay?” Joel said.“But what about all of the Jordan almonds?” Tom cried. “They’re so sugary! So delicious! And now no one will get to eat them because YOU won’t promise to spend your life with Mike!”“Never mind those – wait, you didn’t buy a hundred pounds of candy and put it on my Diner’s Club again, did you?” Mike asked.“Um – which answer is less likely to make you mad?” Tom asked.“OH, you’re all so grounded forever. For months!” Joel said.“NO! I demand a blender!” Tom yelled.“Yeah,” Crow said. “And a RAM chip toaster!”“I could use new earrings!” GPC chirped.“That’s why you need a wedding registry,” Tom said.“No one’s gonna have a registry because no one’s getting married!” Joel said. “I don’t know what’s going on with Mike, but I’m not going to marry a man I barely know. No offense.”“Yeah,” Mike said. “When I get married it’s going to be to someone who loves me and respects me and thinks I’m the bee’s knees! And I’m not buying you another blender after you wrecked it, Crow.”“It wasn’t MY fault pebbles don’t turn into liquid! You didn’t program that one into my poor innocent brain!” said Crow.Then the Hexfield Viewscreen blipped to life. A very blonde mad scientist stood at the center of the console, rage in her eyes. “All right, which one of you ran up Pearl’s credit cards buying 20 thousand pounds of Jordan almonds?”Indeed, the entirety of Castle Forrester was filled with almonds, their bright blue and pink shells shining around Pearl’s waistline. “Lawgiver! Look at me! I’m going to do a swan dive!” shouted Bobo. He was wearing a daisy-print swimcap and an orange singlet that unfortunately hugged every hairy inch of him.“Hey, quit swimming in our ill-gotten almonds! I can’t send these back when they have monkey hair all over them!” Pearl said. “Uh, do you nooges up on the SOL have any idea why people are sending wedding things down here to the castle?”“We don’t know,” chorused a whole bunch of innocent voices.“Commercial sign in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,” Magic Voice said. “Commercial sign now. Monkey’s side or mad scientists?”“Wait, I’m not the one getting married!” Pearl yelled.Mike, Joel and the ‘bots giggled as Pearl tried to correct Magic Voice. While they were at commercial, they dressed up in tuxedo-printed teeshirts and helped Tom and GPC doll themselves up. Pearl was incensed at the sight of them all fully prepared to attend her ‘wedding’.“Oh, you are getting such a sucky movie! The suckiest!” Pearl said.“Hah, you couldn’t scare me with the suckiest suck in suckton!” said Mike.“Oh? Are you familiar with a star vehicle featuring one operatic Mariah Carey?”“Oh no, not Glitter!,” Mike cried.“We can get through this guys!” said Joel. “After all, we’re family!”“Huh. I mean, I guess we are a family. A weird family, but we’re a family!” Mike said.“Sure, a family that has to figure out how to eat a lot of sugared almonds,” Joel said. "“Not if Pearl sells them. Hey, she’s kind of like our weird step-aunt. If she gets married to Bobo or something, that’d mean we’d be in line for gifts and stuff. Yay! Family weddings!” Tom said.“Family weddings require electric s’mores makers!” Crow said.“Ooh, can we get corn-shaped corn holders?” asked GPC.Before anyone could answer, Movie Sign blared.