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Patton sighed a little and flopped on his bed, relaxing for the first time all day. He hadn’t bothered to put his pants on, and he honestly didn’t care to. He glanced at the bottle of lotion on his nightstand and sat up to put it back on the desk, throwing away the tissues he’d used to clean up after himself. “Okay, Patton. You got a little carried away this time.” He muttered before flopping into bed again, trying to not let the guilt wash over him as he came down from the euphoria he’d felt only a few minutes ago. “Hi.” A familiar voice said from a chair Patton had in his room. Patton yelped and quickly pulled a blanket over his lower half. “How long have you been in here?” His heart was pounding as he looked up at Remus. Patton didn’t like Remus much, Roman’s brother was everything Patton swore he’d never want Thomas to be. Disturbing, crude, and promiscuous. Among other things. Remus was so sure in his skin and something about that made Patton so jealous. No, no. None of that. He’s bad. You can’t be like him. He hated that Remus was around and how his mere existence meant that Thomas was capable of doing horrible things. Patton felt like Remus existing meant that he’d failed as morality. He’d failed to keep Thomas good. “Relax, I didn’t watch you wank it.” Remus leaned back in the chair and looked Patton up and down, “But you don’t have to be so secretive and guilty. We’re all adults here.” “That is not reassuring at all. You were looking at me, weren’t you?” Patton eyed Remus. He could never really tell what Remus wanted or what he was going to do. “I caught a glimpse, I’m not here for that though, unless you wanna have a go. I’m here because you’re so uppity. God, even Logan is on a lower high horse.” Remus looked at Patton. “But that’s neither here nor there. I wanna break you.” Patton scooted further away from Remus, making a little sound in his throat. What did that mean? Torture? Rape? Both? Some sort of curated personal hell? He didn’t trust Remus as far as he could throw him. “Relax, I’m not here to hurt you,” Remus saw the fear in Patton’s eyes. “But someone’s gotta be honest with you. You’ve been causing harm, pretty sure you don’t mean it. You’re blind to the gravity of your actions and it’s pissing everyone off and hurting the people closest to you, including Thomas.” “I’m blind in general.” Patton muttered, wanting to just cover his ears and tune out everything Remus was saying. He didn’t want to believe any of it was true. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” “Oh, good! We’re on the same page.” Remus clapped a little and threw Patton’s khakis at him. “Now put these on before you combust. We have a lot to cover. And you have a lot of guilt, that’s not helping anyone.” Patton grumbled a little and looked around for a pair of boxers. “Do I really have to do this?” “Well, I’m not making you do anything. I think you will want to listen to what I have to say though.” Remus shrugged and summoned a pair of white boxers patterned with red hearts, throwing them at Patton. “Here.” “Really?” Patton stared at the boxers for a moment, realizing they were brand new and clean. “Fine, turn around.” “Why?” Remus raised an eyebrow and looked at Patton again, “Scared I’ll look at your dick and balls?” “Just turn around!” Patton threw a shoe at Remus, clearly frustrated, and still not really sure why Remus was still in his room. “Okay, okay.” Remus turned to face away from Patton, “Just tell me when you’re all boring and decent again.” “I’m not boring.” Patton muttered as he got dressed, soon tying his cat hoodie around his shoulders like normal. “Okay, you can turn around. I’m decent.” Remus turned, “You could benefit from a makeover. You look like you’re on someone’s HOA committee and send your five and half kids to bible study.” Patton was starting to get irritated at Remus, “Okay. I get it. You don’t like me, I don’t like you either. Get to the point and tell me what you want to tell me.” “Oooooooh! You’re mad!” Remus teased, “I didn’t say I didn’t like you, by the way. But you’re just so boring the way you are now,” he sighed when he saw the look on Patton’s face. “Okay, fine. I’ll get to the point. You’re manipulating the others.” “No I’m not! You’re lying!” Patton protested, stomping one foot like a toddler. “I can’t lie, Patton. I mean, I could but why would I want to? Telling the truth is way more fun. You guys all seem to unravel without your white lies and dumb social cues. What I was saying, is that you manipulate the others by guilt tripping them into making choices based on what you think would make Thomas a good little lamb. It’s pushing everyone away from you. Things aren’t so black and white.” “That’s- not… no. I- I’m not doing anything wrong-” Patton was deeply uncomfortable with the thought that he was unintentionally making his friends do things they didn’t actually want to do. He sat down and let what Remus had said marinate for a couple minutes. “Am I? I just want him to be good… He has to be a good person or I’m completely worthless.” “What is with you light sides and feeling worthless when you don’t have complete control? Logan doesn’t feel valued because you all don’t listen to him, Roman is upset because nothing is going his way and he feels like he’s never going to get Thomas on the silver screen, Virgil feels like a black sheep, and you’re basing every ounce of your worth on purity. I’m not a thought-crime. This isn’t Orwell’s 1984. I’m just here because I’m a part of him like the rest of you are.” “But… you’re… bad. You’ve always been bad.” Patton was shaking a little, he didn’t know what Remus meant by thought-crimes or 1984, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around Remus not being inherently bad. “You’re intrusive thoughts; you have icky sexual desires, you idolize rapists and serial killers, you-” Patton cut himself of with a groan, struggling to talk about more mature topics. “I’m creativity, just like Roman. Just more… morbid. Intrusive thoughts is just one of my jobs. Just like you’re morality and emotions, while nostalgia is just one of your jobs.” Remus leaned back “I thought we’d established that.” “But how are you both creativity? And what do you mean by 1984? Thomas was born in 1989.” “I don’t know. We just are. It doesn’t really matter anyway why any of us have the roles we have. 1984 is a book by George Orwell. I think you should read it.” Remus summoned a copy of the book and set it on Patton’s lap. “I… didn’t know you were a reader.” Patton looked at the book and read the back. “What does a dystopian novel have to do with what we’re talking about though?” “Oh, I’m not a reader. I eat books and absorb their information, dummy. My favorite flavor of book is horror and true crime. But that’s not the point. The book is about a surveillance state, purity culture, and the idea that even just an impure thought is a punishable crime.” “Oh…” Patton felt his heart sink a little, he was finally realizing how harsh he’d been on Thomas and the others. “Have I really been that extreme?” Remus nodded and got up. “Well, enjoy the book and the existential crisis. Toodeloo.” Remus blew a kiss at Patton and left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Patton changed into his pajamas and started to read the book, hoping it would distract him from his own distress and mounting guilt.
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“Virge, can you pass the salt?” Patton asked, looking around the dinner table, hoping that dinner would be peaceful that night. Lately, there had been a lot of fighting at the dinner table, and sometimes those fights became physical. Patton was sick of it, he just wanted everyone to get along. “Oh, yeah. Here.” Virgil scooted the salt closer to Patton and picked at his green beans, part of him wanted to excuse himself and eat in his room. He didn’t feel very good that day, having been working more and more in recent months. “It’s ‘Would you pass that salt?’” Logan corrected, nudging his glasses up his nose. “Now, when you’re done, would you pass the salt?” Patton gripped the salt a bit tighter, feeling his jaw clench. Sure, it wasn’t a major thing to bring up, but it irritated him far more than usual. “Logan? Can you please not do that tonight?” “Do what?” Logan asked. “Fix everyone’s mistakes?” He scoffed and looked pointedly at Patton, “I’m the only one who seems to do it anymore.” “You know what? No. I’m not arguing tonight. If you can’t play nice, then you’re not welcome at the dinner table. Lately, all any of us have been doing is fighting. Can we just have one night without all that?” “Well who’s fault is that? Really, who’s is it Patton?” Logan snapped and stood up, eye twitching. Virgil flinched and looked up at Logan, having a feeling that things were not going to go well if this continued. “Logan, what the hell are you doing?” “Virgil, shut up.” Logan said lowly, still glaring at Patton. Patton scooted his chair back and raised his arms in surrender. “Logan, I’m gonna need you to leave the table.” Remus was looking back and forth at Logan and Patton, absolutely fascinated. “Fight, fight, fight, fight,” He chanted and tried to get at least Roman to join him. "Oh, you need me to leave? Really?” Logan got even angrier, pounding a fist into the table for emphasis. “Why is that, Patton?” “You’re being angry and irrational.” Patton scooted farther back. “And illogical.” Patton emphasized that last word, feeling gross for poking at Logan’s sensitivities. Logan saw red. He vaulted over the table and grabbed Patton by the sweater, practically roaring with anger. Patton yelled and squirmed downwards, out of the chair. He managed to shimmy the garment off of his shoulders before jumping up and tackling Logan, catapulting the two into a violent wrestling match. Patton and Logan were pulling at each other’s hair and throwing punches while rolling around on the ground, both of them trying to gain leverage over the other “God damn it-” Virgil muttered before trying to pull them apart. “Stop it-” “Damn, with the way they’re grabbing at each other, you’d think they were about to fuck.” Remus watched, absolutely thrilled at this turn of events. “Not helping.” Virgil snapped before managing to yank Logan off of Patton using one of his belt loops. “ENOUGH,” he roared, voice multiplying. He pulled Logan across the room and dropped him. “You’re being all pissy again.” Virgil ran a hand up Logan’s chest and gently gripped Logan’s jaw. “As hot as you are when you’re mad, it’d be great if you didn’t start fights. You know there’s better ways to relieve all that stress.” Virgil let go of Logan and looked him up and down. “Well, if you insist-” Logan looked up at Virgil, wanting to take him up on the silent offer right then. “Don’t get yourself too riled up.” Virgil pushed Logan away from him and turned to look at Patton, “God, where do I even start with you?” “Uh- you know what, kiddo, I’m just gonna…” Patton started to get up. “Let you guys do… well-” “Oooh, Logan. I didn’t know you were the sub.” Remus teased, interrupting Patton while he started to rub his shoulders. “Ooh, you’re tense.” Remus smirked and pressed into Patton’s back. “You, know… I can help you release that tension too.” Patton squeaked and turned bright red, looking at Remus, stammering over his words before giving up, unable to come up with anything coherent. “Remus, what the fuck?” Virgil stared at Remus. “Oh, come on, Daddy-O, I know you’re not all that innocent.” Remus stepped back and crossed his arms. “Patton doesn’t do that kind of stuff.” Virgil said, not fully convinced that Remus wasn’t up to shenanigans. “Virgil’s he’s not hurting me.” Patton said, face still red from embarrassment. He grabbed the cat hoodie and put it back onto his shoulders before summoning a tissue and wiping blood from his nose. “Ow. Logan, I think you broke my nose.” Logan crossed his arms and looked away. “Do I need to treat you two like toddlers?” Virgil asked, tapping his foot and crossing his arms. He sounded like a tired mom. “I need you both to apologize to each other.” “Why do I have to?” “Behave or no Crofters for a week.” “I’m sorry Patton.” Logan said quickly, he wasn’t about to lose his favorite jam for even a day. And if you asked him, he did not have a problem. The jam was just that good. “What for?” Virgil prompted. “Do you remember the structure of an apology?” Logan sighed. “Apologize, take responsibility, and offer a resolution.” Virgil gave him a look, further prompting Logan. “Don’t make me make it two weeks.” “I’m sorry I got angry and attacked you, I will… work on expressing my feelings in a more effective way.” Logan said feelings in a different tone, voicing that he even expressed left such a sour taste in his mouth. “I don’t really know what to apologize for.” Patton said after a moment of thinking. “I just asked for him to not correct people tonight and he blew up on me. I don’t really know why I fought back though. I just got scared and…” He trailed off and flailed his arms a bit. “That’s how fight or flight works, Patton.” Virgil sighed. “Wait are you not going to make him apologize too?” Logan asked, getting irritated again. “What do you want him to apologize for?” Virgil asked, not really sure Patton had done anything wrong this time. “He provoked me.” “He had a point though!” Patton glanced at Remus and then Logan and Virgil. He slowly stood up and sneaked towards the door, waving for Remus to follow him before disappearing through the doorway. Roman and Janus looked at each other in confusion, both of them had stayed quiet through everything, basically just watching everything unfold. Roman broke the silence between them though, “Wait, hold on Patton just went off with Remus.” Logan and Virgil froze, mid argument and looked at Roman. “He what?” Virgil asked, making a face at the thought as the words processed. “Who was leading who?” “Patton led Remus off! What the hell?” Roman was baffled and disturbed. “Has anyone noticed them hanging out at all?” Janus shook his head. “Remus has been oddly elusive about his antics recently.” He got up and walked into the hall to see if he could figure out what was going on, pausing when he saw Remus pressing Patton against a wall and making out with him. Roman drew his sword and yelled, causing the two to quickly pull apart. “Roman, what the heck!” Patton held his arms up and realized everyone was standing there. “Uh… Well this is awkward.” “Remus? Really?” Virgil questioned. “Patton-” “He’s not hurting me!” Patton interrupted, his face red with embarrassment. “I swear, he’s not.” “What did you do to him?” Roman pointed his sword directly at Remus’ chest. Remus scoffed at Roman, completely unfazed by the weapon over his heart. “Are you so narrow-minded that you think I am only capable of hurting others?” He dramatically threw an arm over his face. “My own brother, what betrayal!” “Hurting people is kind of your thing, Remus. I’d say it’s pretty fair to think you’re up to something. What did you do to him?” “Roman! Put that thing down right now, mister!” Patton stomped a foot and crossed his arms. “He didn’t do anything to me, I swear. He just… opened some doors to avenues I’ve never really explored before…” “Ew-” Roman made a face at the thought of Patton and Remus having an explicit relationship. “But… with Remus?” “Well… he’s not the most conventional option, but he can be a swell guy when he wants to be.” Patton reasoned. “He’s taught me a couple of things. Who knew this old dog could learn new tricks, huh?” Remus wiggled his shoulders a little, “Swell? Ooh I don’t think I’ve been called that before, Daddy. Y’know what else is swell? My DICK.” He flicked Roman’s sword away and thrust his hips at the air. Virgil seemed really uncomfortable. “Patton are you sure about…” He waved an arm in Remus’ general direction. “Him?” Patton nodded, part of him wanted to disappear into the wall and pretend that he hadn’t just been caught making out with Remus. “Yes, I am sure. And I swear to all of you that he is not hurting me.” Janus looked at the others, he’d been making faces during the entire conversation. “Well, he’s not lying.” Patton sighed a bit, “I know this isn’t something anyone expected to come from me, but I’m really not the oblivious and innocent side I make myself out to be. I just… I dunno…” Virgil shifted, he’d already been starting to like Patton less with everything going on, and now he felt like he’d been lied to the entire time he’d known Patton. “So you lied and pretended to be oblivious and naive?” “Virgil- no I… I didn’t lie really. I just… I don’t like to talk all that yucky stuff.” Patton reasoned. “I’m supposed to be rated E for everyone… right?” Virgil just made confused and frustrated sounds, biting his tongue to keep himself from yelling at Patton. He eventually sighed and flipped Patton off before marching off to his room and slamming the door.