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Hello, everyone! Since I'm not getting much views on Wattpad, I figured I'd migrate over here as well. Anyway! See you guys in the comments :)-----Sometimes I catch myself looking off into the deep forest that resides in my backyard. It's a beautiful deep green and I could just stare into it forever. Whenever things get rough I walk through the trees that are well over 30 feet tall. I can still smell the sap sticking to the bark and big pinecones. It is amazing how one can still remember a sense that gave someone so much wonder.There is one sense that I have forgotten, however.A sense of 'being in the moment' with the world; being one with your universe. That is something that I strive to find once again. I miss the bright-eyed, passionate guy I used to be. It's too bad that he's lost for good. I don't think sitting on my roof and looking up at the stars would somehow help find him within me. Although, the night sky sure is beautiful. It looks like little specks of salt thrown over a large piece of dark purple, velvet fabric. I know that isn't a creative way of saying it, but that's just how I see it. A soft sigh escapes between my lips, my doe-like eyes soaking up all the stars and planets as I look up-- hoping to maybe see what part of me is missing.I would go back to bed so I can forget that I even exist, but the recurring dream I have haunts me even in a state of consciousness. When I'm asleep, it seems to win no matter what I do. I'll get lucky now and then and wake up before it takes me away to an awful place. I wouldn't know what to call it even if I knew what it was. All I knew was that it had no face.There is one face that I can't forget, though. It was a man. He had chestnut brown hair and deep brown eyes filled with a strange sense of rage and sorrow. The corners of my mouth tugged downward, creating a slight frown on my face. I held my hand to my heart. The damned beating thing tore into two every time I saw that look in his eyes.I sunk into my knees and held them together as I leaned forward, pressing my head against my arms. It was the only face that didn't frighten me in my dreams. But, he is the one who hurts me in my dream. I don't think he tries to hurt me on purpose. This weird dream happens so many times that I remember it from back to front and front to back.It seemed to me like he was the one being controlled like a puppet and I think the monster was his master, in some sort of way. I don't know how, but for some reason, it all makes sense to me. I just can't put it into words.I look up back into the sky. I softly whisper: "Who are you?" I reach into the night and grasp at nothing, clenching my hand into a loose fist. "Why are you always residing in my mind?" I let my hand fall to my side as my back touches the warm roof, soon laying down on the bumpy texture. The pad of my fingers is traced against the shingles. "Why can't I forget your face?"Before I knew it, I was already in bed with the blankets surrounding my body. I let the darkness of my tired eyelids comfort me. Whatever feeling that was bothering me, I could never figure it out. I just let my imagination take me somewhere far, far away just so I can forget those goddamn deep brown eyes.
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Hello, everyone! Since I'm not getting much views on Wattpad, I figured I'd migrate over here as well. Anyway! See you guys in the comments :)-----Beep, beep, beep...I hate it when I think people can read my mind, especially when I am out in public. My eyes wander around the people who are near me. Being physically sick makes me want to leave so fast. I hate the doctor's office. It is always somehow cold as hell in medical clinics. The noise of monitors and coughing fills my ears to the brim."Y/n L/n?"Oh, thank God.I stood up so fast that I made the old lady next to me nearly jump out of her seat. "Pardon you, sir." Heat crept up to my face. "Sorry, miss."I followed the doctor to my designated room for visits only, and I sat on the bed. The crisp paper crinkled underneath my weight, trying to be comfortable. My feet dangle as I wait for my doctor to speak. Her pink nails clashed against the green earrings she wore, as well as the big baby blue glasses, making her look like some sort of crazy science teacher."So, how are we doing today, Y/N? Nice weather we're having, yeah?" She scribbled on her clipboard, writing something quickly. "Uh, sure. It was a little colder than usual, I suppose." "Right? There's a cold front coming in from the west. I heard it's supposed to rain all week and weekend. I'd watch out for hail." Great.My lips tighten in anticipation. For what exactly? I have no idea, but whatever is coming, it is going to be big. I can feel it."Alright, let's get right to it. Here for a refill again?" I nodded quickly. "Yes, but I don't think the medicine is working as well." "Hmm, let's up the dosage from 50 to 100, and we'll see if that is any better, okay? We'll take good care of you, Y/N. You have been my patient for seven years now. Things will get better soon, I promise."She gave me a weak and empathetic smile before she readjusted her glasses and turned her heel to leave the cold room.I rubbed my forehead and sighed, pinching between my brows. "Yeah, right." I pull my phone out of my jacket pocket, and the screen shows my younger sister and me playing in the snow when we were kids. I smile softly at the memory. "Damn it."I had three missed phone calls from my mom. I wondered what she needed from me. I know that she cares about me and whatnot; however, her comforting tactics are a little bit unbearable. I clicked on her cell number, and I brought it to my ear. It rang only a few times before she answered."Hi, sweetie! Are you okay? I called you three times, and you didn't answer." "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, mom. My phone's on silent. I've been getting a lot of messages coming through. There's more on my mind though, too. My therapist seems to be a bit concerned." "Is it about him again?"Silence."Mom, I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me." My lip almost began to quiver as I tried to maintain my composure."I know, hun, I just don't want you to hurt. I won't forgive what he did." I tilt my head back as I try not to cry.I stare at the ceiling as I blink back the heavy tears. I gave out a heavier sigh than the last, and I finally hung my head low. "I know, sweetie, I know." I guess she could tell that I was finally crying. I hated crying, especially when it was in front of someone.The tears rolled silently as I tried so very hard to regather myself. "So, how are you and Dad doing? I hope his, um, surgery went well.""Oh, yes! He's doing just fine. The surgery went well. The doctor told us that it'll take a few weeks for him to recover from his knee procedure." Finally, something else than to talk about him"That's good. I know you'll take care of him," I said as I finished wiping the last of my almost-dried tears. "Speaking of doctors, I am just seeing Dr. Lee." "Oh? That's great news! I know it's hard to keep up with medication and whatnot.While discussing this, how are your medications treating you? Are they still working?" I shook my head even though I knew she couldn't see me."Dr. Lee is putting me on a stronger dosage since they've been kind of flaking on me. I guess they're not working like they used to.""I'm so sorry to hear that, dear. You know that your father and I are here for you, right?" "Yeah, I know. Hey, I'll call you later. She'll be in here any minute now." "Okay, well, I love you, son.""I love you, too, mom." I hang up the phone and put it back in its natural place.Just in time, Dr. Lee walks in with a seemingly permanent smile stuck on her aging face."Alright, so we're sending the prescription just across the street to the local drug store. It should be ready within ten to fifteen minutes. Now, I just need you to sign this, and you can be on your way!" I forced a smile, and I took the clipboard.I write my signature shakily, and I hand it back to her."Thank you very much, and I hope you have a wonderful afternoon. See you next month, yeah?" She waves me goodbye and exits the room once again."Yeah, sure thing, Dr. Lee."I grabbed my things, and I also sought my way out of the medical clinic. I am so glad that I am no longer surrounded by sick people.The chilling wind nips at my nose and ears as I walk back to my car. I just want this day to be over already. ~*~ As I sit on my black leather sofa, I stare at the medicine that was provided for me. It sat on the table, taunting me as my eyes bore into it. It read: 'Promazine', which is an antipsychotic. Every day for seven years, I've been taking this to help with my schizophrenia and depression. It's more of a sedative than anything else.I grabbed hold of the orange bottle and popped the lid off. The smell of the pharmacy wafted through the air and into my nasal cavity. I scrunch my nose at the stench.Sighing, I put two in my hand and chuck them into my mouth, swallowing dryly. "Disgusting as always."My eyes slowly drift to the window, and I see that it is much darker outside. How long have I just been sitting here? A frown forms on my lips, the corner of my mouth inching down even further as I raise my brows in worry."That's peculiar..."Hmm, I guess the medications are working this time. Taking a shaky stand, I walk slowly towards the window. The sun is almost down. Even though the light hits the top of the trees just right, it blows my mind that I've been out for a couple of hours, it seems.Maybe a nice drive can get me out of my head. I turned back around to grab the boots I had left underneath the table and slipped them on. A cruise always seemed to make me feel better, so that's what I intend to do.
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His name was Gabrielle, my first love.I still remember his green eyes and how they would turn hazel now and then. Or when he smiled, his tiny gap would show. And the way he smelled of the ocean whenever I walked by It so happened that fate had brought us together by pure accident.My hands grip the steering wheel tightly as I reminisce about the bittersweet memories with him. I knew he was trouble from the get-go, but I was hoping that my intuition about him was wrong. But as always, I never listen to myself.Just a few miles away from home, I decided to pull into a little clearing on a cliff. From here, I could watch the sun sink and bleed into the small town beneath me. I look into the passenger seat, and I see the small box I had left sitting there for months. I am just now deciding to finally get rid of him for good.I open the car door, and on the way out, I pick up the rectangle cardboard box from the seat beside me. As I trudge through the dying grass, my boot laces slightly catch on the dead stems. Once I made it to the edge, I sat down with the box in hand. I had never opened this yet. This was from Gabrielle.My heart began to sink once I saw his name written in blue pen on the very top. 'To: Y/nFrom: Gabe' I take a deep breath before I rip the tape off and open it very slowly.On top was a Polaroid of me wearing a party hat with a solo cup. When that was taken, it was my eighteenth birthday. I remember that night he had proposed to me, and I had rejected his offer, saying that I wasn't quite ready to be married. Which he was fine with, but left me at my friend's house right after.I dig deeper, my heart breaking even further.The next thing I pulled out was a little key chain with a picture of us on it. I got it for his birthday a few years ago, when we were still just kids. My heart aches when I see the both of us holding each other with big smiles, like it was just us against all odds.A tear falls from my eye when I see what else is in the box. Shakily, I put the key chain back and pulled out a note that had my name written on it. This is when I slowly begin to fall apart, the tears blurring my vision as everything melts away into the ground. "You didn't have to hurt me, y'know... It didn't have to end the way it did," I retorted as small droplets fell onto the thin paper.Even though Gabrielle has put me through so much pain and still is, I can't help but cry over the fact that we have to be apart. I opened the letter with sorrow. 'Dear Y/n,No matter where you are or how far apart we are, just know that I am always here with you. One day, we'll get married, adopt a little girl, take care of her together, and be a happy family. That is what I see—a future that includes you.I hope that sometimes you'll feel the same way, too. Love, Gabrielle.' All I could think was how much of a fucking liar he is. I went from sad to angry in a blink of an eye. All I could see was red.I instantly stood back up and dashed to the car. I started rummaging through my back seat to find the bottle of lighter fluid I had left from my last bonfire party. Hurriedly, I rush back to the box that crushed my soul. I popped the lid and took a pause.Why am I hesitating?It should be on fire right now. My hand shook as the bottle slightly tilted forward, my fingers grasping onto the plastic. The smell of fumes agitated my lungs as the wind wafted the scent towards me. I scrunch my nose in disgust."If I want to be set free," I said, distraught, as I poured the liquid all over the box along with the meaningless items inside. "Then I have to do it myself." I pulled a matchbox out of my pocket, and my fingers shook as I tried to light one. It only took a few desperate strokes to light a flame."Even if it means I have to burn you out of my life,"I took a long step away, and I threw the match in the box, watching it come ablaze. From where I was, I could still feel the warmth coming from the spot I chose to 'turn the other cheek'.I stared into the fire as the sun finally came down until the night sky blanketed the town, the stars now showing brighter than ever. Wow, such a cliché way to burn him out of my mind, isn't it?With a deep sigh and slumped shoulders, I turn around and walk back to my black car. I get in the driver's seat and slam the door. All of a sudden, I burst into tears and unknowingly let a shrill scream rip itself from my throat. My fist collided with the middle of my steering wheel, giving the vehicle a few good honks that rang out throughout the night."FUCK! FUCK YOU! I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!"My head fell back onto the headrest, and I heaved a heart-wrenching cry. It didn't die down until minutes later. My eyes and head throbbed as if I were hungover from partying for a whole damn week.My fingers grasp at the sun visor, and I take a good look at myself in the small mirror. I could see that my eyes were much darker and my hair was much messier. To put it simply, I look like absolute shit.I put the visor back in place before my hand reached to start the car. It came alive with a low and steady rumble as I pulled out of the little, clear area that once was a place of calmness and love.I am going to never be back here again. Ever.Once I finally got back on the main road to my house, I felt myself starting to think about the man who dwells in the back of my mind, the one who lingers in my terrifying dreams.I rub the running snot from my nose on my plaid sleeve and stare at the dead road for a moment, getting lost in his pools of smoked liquid gold. I felt heat creep up on my cheeks.Ugh!I shook my head and huffed. "So annoying!" I don't want to think about anyone else, especially a stranger who hurts me in my dreams! He isn't even real. While thinking about how stupid I am for crushing on some sort of fantasy guy, something big comes from the left side of me and collides with the front light of my car."Shit!"My tires squeal as I slam my foot on the brake. The front of my car began to swerve from left to right before it came to a halt. With my shoulders tensed up toward my ears, I push myself away from the steering wheel. My chest heaved, anxiety spiking high enough for me to faint right then and there. What the fuck?!What if it was a person? Oh shit.Quickly, I put my vehicle in park and flung my door wide open, dashing out to see if it was a person."Oh no... No, no, no, no." My hand clasps around my mouth, too shocked to gasp.It was a man.Gulping, I walk slowly towards him. "S-sir? Are you alive?" Nothing. I stand at least a foot away from him, and I kneel. Tufts of brown hair stuck out of and around his hoodie. Thankfully, I don't see any blood, so maybe he could still very well be alive.Slowly and shakily, I reach my hand out to touch his side to turn him towards me. "Mister?" Still nothing.I finally turn him to face me.Well, that's strange...A mask covers only half of this man's face. Who is this guy? Once he was on his back, I leaned forward and put my head against his chest. 'Woah, he's so strong. No, stop it.'thump thump thump"Oh my god, he's still alive!" Hastily, I ran to the car and grabbed my phone to call the ambulance. My fingers shake while I type the number 911.The phone kept ringing and ringing, but there was no answer. I bit my lip in anticipation. "Come on!" I whined.
My eyes flicker toward where the man is, but all of a sudden he has vanished into thin air. Immediately, I ended the call and tucked my phone away as I staggered into the middle of the street."He was just right here."I rubbed my eyes and started to panic. I checked the front of my car to make sure I wasn't dreaming, and surely enough, there was a big dent on the driver's side."Great, now I have to replace this headlight."Who was that guy? He seemed so familiar for some reason. I get the feeling I may see him again.I looked around to maybe see him in the ditch or something, but I was only left with the impact he left on me while he faded away somewhere into the night.
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I didn't know that death could be so welcoming.It was so cold and dark, but I was at peace with all things around me. The last thing I remember was the man in the mask clutching my throat until my eyes rolled to the back of my head. That's where I knew that guy from—my dreams.And no, I'm not dead.That was what happened at the end of my dream.I died.It's been a few hours since I woke up, and I'm still shaken by the vehicle accident. It was so terrifying. I get chills, shivering as I pull the blanket over my bare shoulders, focusing my eyes on the TV.I've never seen anything like the man I accidentally hit. I swallow hard. I think that mask was hiding something. It couldn't be his identity because the mask that he wore showed most of his face.
So, it must have been hiding something that he doesn't want anybody else to see. Maybe there's a scar behind that mask?Knock, knock, knockWho could that be? All of my friends and family know that I am on hiatus. It better not be Gabrielle. There's no way he could know that I'm here. Unless he followed me out of town,Shit.Slowly, I stand up to look out my window. The tips of my fingers slightly graze the rough fabric of my curtains, and I take a small peek.I don't know which could've been worse, knocking at my door at seven in the morning: Gabrielle or the fucking police.I see two police vehicles parked in my driveway. Just great. Now they know I've been the culprit of a hit-and-run. Damn, maybe that guy I hit really did make it out of there and told the feds.Here goes nothing. "Okay, pretend it didn't happen, and if they bring it up, then you can tell them the truth! Simple as that," I told myself as I scurried down the stairs with my fuzzy blue socks leaving a trail behind me.I walk to the door as the comfort of my warm socks gets sucked away from the chilly planks of polished wood. I take a deep breath before I welcome the police with a smile."Good morning, sir. I'm Sheriff Myers, and this is Sheriff Holt. We hate to bother you this morning, but we need to ask you a few questions."The two officers were completely different from each other. The one to my right was short and more stout, like a big dog with a patchy white scruff and thick mustache (Myers). The one to my left was tall and lanky but looked like he could run fast (Holt). He had blonde, slick-back hair with shades hiding his penetrating eyes.I gave a nervous smile and stepped to the side. "Sure, come on in."They both came in and nodded as a thank-you. Closing the door behind them, I led both of the officers toward the dining room. We all took our seats, and I waited patiently for the older gentleman to speak, seeing that the younger one looked like a rookie."We just want to know if you've seen this man." Oh, thank fuck, they don't know about me hitting some rando last night. However, the relief was short-lived when Sheriff Myers pulled out a medium-sized photo and slid it across the glass table.When I looked at the picture of the man, every bit of air I had within me was sucked out within a blink of an eye. I froze with my fingers shaking. I tried to keep my composure as I stared at the man whom I had seen last night.Now, all of a sudden, I feel like I'm being watched, for real this time. I swallowed harshly as deep shivers ran through my whole body."I, uh, no. I haven't seen this man in my life," I retorted as my eyes continued to be glued to the picture. It was a photo of the man without his mask on. The scar isn't what put fear in me; it was the look in his deep brown eyes.This guy was nightmare fuel, in a nutshell. Everything started to grow colder. I slid the picture back slowly, shaking my head 'no' in fear of this person, knowing that I told the police where I saw him last.Even though I won't see him again, I still fear that this man is very, very bad and will find me."This man," Myers said as he tucked the photo back into his vest, "is a dangerous criminal. The picture I just showed you was taken a few months ago. He escaped the day it was taken. His name is Tobias Rogers, alias Toby. He's twenty-six years old and was last seen in town, not too far away from here."The two policemen stood up at the same time and headed towards the door, which I followed close behind. "If you see this man, please call the station immediately, and we'll be there faster than flies on shit," Holt stated. "We're going to catch this son 'a bitch."I quickly opened the door for them, and I let both of them go outside my doorstep."Do you have any questions before we leave the residence?"They both looked at me in hopes that I had more information on the suspect. "I do have one question: may I have that photo of him? If I do see him, I want to be sure that it's him." That was when they both looked at each other and then looked back at me.Myers pulls the picture back out and hands it to me. "I don't think you can forget a scary face like that, sir, but sure. Take it for all I care. I can just print a new one." Sheriff Holt's gaze shifted towards my car, squinting his eyes at the front bumper on the driver's side. "Hey, what did that do to your car?"He just had to fucking point it out."Oh! Uh, a big deer came out of nowhere and knocked my headlight out last night. Thankfully, it lived and ran back in the direction it came from. I don't know how I'll be able to afford the proper fix for the damages, though.""Hmm...""Anyway, thank you, gentlemen. I do have errands to run this morning."Myers tipped his hat toward me and left with Sheriff Holt, both getting into their separate vehicles. I stood there with my door wide open as I watched the men pull out of the driveway and disappear down the road.I sighed out in relief, and I clutched at my chest.Holy shit.That was close! I just disobeyed the law by withholding information about the possible whereabouts of a skilled criminal. Another sigh of 'why did I do that' to add to the list.I clutch the photo in the palm of my hand as I close the door. I locked it into place before heading up to my room to get ready to go to the grocery store.My feet were back on my warm, carpeted room as I gently laid the photo of Tobias on my dresser.I slipped on a random long-sleeved shirt, a pair of ripped jeans, and some socks that didn't even match and tried my best to hurry out the door. For now, I feel like something might follow me.I took a deep breath as I gathered everything else I needed before slipping out the door and striding towards my car. I'll be fine. I'm sure I'll be okay.
Everything is fine.Yeah, right.
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After having met the two sheriffs, I've been pretty shaken since I left my house.For years now, I have dreamt about Toby, but how come I am now just hearing about him? Why now? Why me? I feel like I'm being watched more now than ever before. I know he's out there somewhere, and I have no way of stopping him from doing anything.All these deaths I've recently discovered—bludgeoned and dismembered bodies strung all around this area, then houses set on fire to cover his tracks—somehow, I feel like their blood is on my own two hands.
I know it's not like I'm the one committing these crimes, but since I have some sort of connection with him with these dreams I've been having, I could've warned those people about this man.I don't know how, but I should've at least tried.I thought this whole thing was just me having dreams about this rando until I came to find out that this man was real and dangerous.But now I'm starting to wonder: if he's real, then is his master as well?
No, that would be physically impossible.My thoughts drifted to the items for dinner. I was thinking maybe some chicken Alfredo with cheesy steamed broccoli. I quickly walked to the pasta island and looked for the right noodle shape."Hmm...""Y/n?"I look to the left, where a voice calls to me.No."It's been such a long time..."Gabrielle.Slowly, I put the item in my cart and backed away from him. My eyes open wide in fear. "S-stay away from me."He put his hand over his heart and gave a small pout as if he were heartbroken. "Awe, Y/n, that hurt my feelings."His pale lips turn into a thin pout, and his eyes show the opposite of hurt. The thin man carried four bags of groceries, two in each hand, signifying that he had just checked out."I mean, when I saw you, I thought you'd greet me with a hug," his sadistic smile turned into a grim expression, "not backing away from me, your boyfriend."His voice was filled with malice."You are not mine, nor am I yours. Now stay away from me, Gabrielle."With that, I turned away, leaving him alone in the pasta aisle. Me turning away from him is what I should've done a long time ago.I hope to God he never comes back again. I hope I never see that face that haunts me every single day.After checking my items out, I push the cart out into the nearly empty parking lot. Going to the store early in the morning is my favorite; barely anybody is there, and I don't have to deal with the prodding eyes of everyone who wanders into the building.Still shaken up from seeing Gabrielle, I put the groceries in the back of my car while sighing. The chilly wind began to pick up, and it grew dark overhead with clouds—tiny rain drops began to fall on my head.Damn it.I quickly put the rest of the bags in the back, and I closed the door hurriedly, leaving the cart in a spot next to me like every other parking lot menace.I walked around and got into the driver's seat, closing the door after I got comfortable. The thunder roared loudly from above, and the nice sprinkle turned into heavy rain.Ever since early this morning, I've been in fear of my life being taken away from me.
~*~ I spent the rest of the day reading up on Tobias Rogers on the web, hoping to get something out of this to prepare myself for the worst. I did this till it was nearly midnight, the sun already gone from the sky as it tossed the moon into the night—the light shimmering all 'round, glistening from the rain drops that still remained after the dreary storm.As the tips of my fingers tapped against the matte black keys on my laptop, I'd hear the rustling of trash from my bin outside. The critters around me like to dig through my trash, which I don't mind other than the garbage left strewn across my backyard.
It's so wonderful.I ignored the muffled noises and continued to do some more research.
Huh.I clicked on a link that was posted by a couple of conspiracy theorists. Their latest post, which was released years ago, is about how a string of murders connected with one another. Since I had no idea what was connected with any of these crimes, I dug some more.A little child was murdered by an uncle.A little child drowned in a lake (potential crime with some evidence provided)I was not sure I wanted to look into that. A deep, chilling shiver ran up my spine as I continued.An older teen murders his family after being set on fire by school bullies.An older teen disappears after the murder of his father and a house set on fire.The only thing that all of these crimes had in common was that each and every one of them said that they had all seen a tall man before these unfortunate events happened.A deep unease brewed in the pit of my stomach. A tall man? This scared me a little bit. I stood up from my desk slowly, feeling nauseated.I turned around, and when I did, that's when bile started to rise up in my throat. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Gabrielle standing only a few feet away from me. Swallowing hard, I slowly reached behind me to grab my letter opener while keeping my eyes on him.He lifts a hand up and waves his finger from side to side."Tch tch tch! No, sir. I wouldn't recommend grabbing that dull blade. It'll only just piss me off."Shakily, I lower my hand back down to my sides. "Get out of my house.""Oh, come on! You know that I'm not even really here, just like at the grocery store." My breathing only intensified.His twisted scowl petrified me right where I stood. "I mean, did killing me not prove that I'm just a figment of your imagination?""Shut up," I said, screaming deep from my chest. In a swift fashion, I threw my computer at Gabrielle, and it only went through him just before he disappeared with a sinister smirk."Fuck!" I kicked the chair, and it slammed against the wall with a bang. A choked cry escaped from me as I fell to my knees. My fingers gripped at my hair while rocking back and forth.I didn't kill him. I swear.A light touch on my shoulder made me jump. I scramble against my desk as I try to stay away from whatever touches me. The big tears in my eyes made it difficult to see, but I could see clearly enough that a little girl in a white dress with long blonde hair stood in front of me.Her look was so pure that her presence would've made me smile warmly, if only she hadn't appeared out of nowhere and in my house."He's coming." That was all she said before disappearing like Gabrielle did."Holy shit, I think I finally reached that stage of insanity where I'm seeing a child in a white dress. Never a good sign, just like in the movies," I remarked sarcastically.Who the hell was that? Who is coming?I get up slowly. I hope that I won't see any more weird things.It's all in my head.I pick up the chair, realizing that I left a hole in my wall. Just great. I put it back in its natural place, and I wonder into the next room: the kitchen.I sigh while taking a glass from the cupboard and filling it up from the faucet. Normally I wouldn't drink from it, but I couldn't care less. I just want to forget anything that happened. I stand in front of the window, just above the sink, with the moonlight showing through.I look at my reflection. Damn, I kind of look like shit. Just briefly, movement caught my eye on the right side. I turned around and instantly dropped my cup, it shattering across the white marbled flooring.I put my hand on my chest, and I let out a huff.Standing right before me was none other than the man that I dream about. He seemed more tough-looking in person than in my subconscious mind."It's okay," I said, giving myself the benefit of the doubt since I was just having hallucinations. "He's just a figment of my imagination." Tilting his head to the side, he gave out a deep chuckle from within.He steps closer, letting the moonlight absorb his entire body, letting me see him more clearly."Let me know if this feels real to you." Quickly, he draws out an old hatchet and smacks the side of my temple with the blunt side of it.
Before I knew it, my conscience was slipping slowly away from me."Idiot."His rough voice was the last thing I caught just before my whole world grew black, surrounding me in a falsely comforting warmth.
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Do you ever get the feeling that you've messed up? Maybe it's the curdling scream in my head that won't come out from between my lips? Or the possibility of never-ending darkness? I can't even open my eyes!I'm stuck and paralyzed. I don't even remember what happened. Even though I can't move or see, I can still feel. I'm tied to a chair with thick rope.Every now and then, it'll pinch my skin around my sides if I breathe too hard. Whoever captured me has me on a tight leash and doesn't want me to go anywhere.The sensation of wriggling chills crawled over my skin. I haven't been this cold since last winter.It felt like what could've been hours had passed me by. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I'd been drugged. So far, it's been quiet—too quiet.Every now and then, I hear heavy footsteps below me pacing around. I think I may be in an attic of some sort. I don't think it's my house since I don't have an attic.My head is pounding with thunderous pulses.Wait.And that is when it all came back to me. Tobias Rogers. He has captured me. I thought it was just another mind game that my brain was playing on me. But I always have to find things out the hard way, don't I?Very slowly, I tried to move my fingers, and that was a bust. Damn it.Why does this happen to me? Why do I deserve this?Situations like this in movies always have a savior near the end. But life isn't a movie, and there will be no savior coming for me. I have no one to save me. Everyone I've ever had in my life has abandoned me or is dead.Warm tears roll down my face, clashing against my cold cheeks. When will I ever learn to let go of things I can't control?creaaakkkkI shudder beneath my breath. Heavy foot steps make their way toward me from down stairs, steady and slow while drawing nearer and nearer. I can feel his presence closing in until he comes to a stop in front of me.A gentle, warm touch presented itself on my cheek. Sporadic heat flows through my chilly body. He wipes a tear from my closed eyes.The warm leaves on my face as he slowly began to walk around me like I was his prey."Pancuronium. Do you like it? A friend loaned me a few syringes full of it. Thanks to you, I now owe him a favor."Shivers ran through me as his voice carried itself through my ears. It was soft, but it held an eerie undertone. "Luckily for you, it should wear off within a couple of hours. Luckier for me, it'll give me time to think about what else I could do to you and see those eyes fill with dread."He proceeds to walk around me one more time before stopping in front of me.I swallow hard as more tears fall from my face."You belong to me now."This is it, the last time I'll ever be free—not that I was ever really free in the first place. For months, I was haunted by my now-deceased ex—and still am.Every now and then, I'll hear his voice in the back of my mind, trying to find a way out and tear me apart until the day I die.And now, dying seems less of a fear and more of a desperate calling to an early grave—a need. It seems to me I may get that sooner than expected.That was when it finally hit me.Is this what I truly wanted the entire time? Some sort of release that I just happened to pull out of thin air? Manifested? Was I born to die?"I wouldn't worry, pretty boy," he says as his hand reaches to grab my hair, pulling my head back to what I assume is facing his direction, "you're in great hands."Him pulling my hair hurt, but I'm sure it won't hurt as much as what this guy has in store for me.I'll never be saved or rescued. I'm a dead man.With one hand interwoven with my hair, his other traces the drying tears on my face. My lip twitches slightly at his confusing gestures. I think I can finally move my face, but not much.Whenever I get my movement back, I'm afraid to see what place I'm truly in and what I'm bound to face with my captor.He finally lets go and moves behind me to untie the rope."I have a nice spot for you in the corner."He proceeds to lift me from the chair and throw me over his shoulder. A small grunt escapes from my chapped lips when he tosses me against a wall and into the floor.A loud clinking sound makes its way towards me. Before I knew it, a chilling metal collar clashed with my windpipes. Locking it in place, he gives it a tug, which pulls me slightly forward."A little present for the newcomer."Warmth draws near as I feel him lean in, getting way too close for my liking—not that I can do anything about it.His cool lips press against the outer shell of my ear."Welcome to your new home, piss ant."I shiver at his touch, his warmth and breath swarming the side of my neck. I feel him lean away from me.His foot steps away from the corner he put me in and walks down the stairs, shutting the latch door, leaving me all alone.I hate this. I'd rather he just kill me now and get it over with, but it seems like he wants me to be alive for the time being for his cruel and unusual punishments that he has lined up.A heavy weight places itself on my chest the longer I am awake.I might as well take the time to try and sleep, for I don't know when I'll get the next chance for any kind of escape from this cold hell hole.Being more exhausted than I thought, I drifted into a deep sleep, awaiting the encounter with this dangerous felon.
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When the sun rose for another new day, the rays of light blinded me—a low grumble escaping my lips as I slowly sat up to rub my sore eyes. I tried to blink away the sleepiness, but it took me a minute to register where I was.Oh, right. I've been kidnapped from my own home. Well, what shit luck I have.I take in what surrounds me. So far, it's just an empty and dusty room with a singular chair in the middle of it. The rays of sunlight really show how gross it really is in here with all the dust in the air—I could actually see the particles float amongst the warmth.To the right of me, I see an exit hatch that leads downstairs. If I'm going to be honest, I wouldn't want to know what was down there. All I know is that my captor is somewhere in this house or whatever place this is.I slowly get up, struggling to find balance within myself. Putting my hand on the wall, I follow the bricks all the way to the window in the center of the wall left of me. Just to really see where I'm at, I peek over the window pane that is set right at my hips. Everything was covered in trees, as the eye can see. As far as I can tell, I'm only two stories from the ground—three if you want to get technical and include the attic.I let out a shaky breath as it left a ghostly fog spot, covering the rest of my vision. Small tears well up in my eyes. I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm all alone out here with a stranger at best, and what this man has in store for me could go beyond my imagination.I leave the window and go back to the corner where I am chained. The shackles are heavy around my soft throat, tearing and rubbing away at my skin. A single tear falls down my face as I sink to the floor with a gentle thud. Pulling my knees to my chest, I rest my aching head across my shaking arms.For as long as I can remember, my dreams about Tobias have been far more than just a dream. They were lingering nightmares. And how it ends is me looking into his cold, dead eyes while he strangles the life out of me with a sinister look on his sickly pale face. I do, however, think that what scared me the most was the supernatural monster behind him.Footsteps invaded my thoughts as they stopped beneath the door to the attic. Fear clutches at my stomach as my heart drops, draining any blood from my face. My chest beats with a striking, repetitive rhythm as my hot breath becomes shallow.I snug myself as close to the corner as possible, trying to hold myself together.I wait for him to open the door, and just when I think he's about to open the door, his heavy footsteps walk away. I let out a loud sigh that I had no idea I was holding. What does this man want from me? I'm not sure I would want to know.I lean my head against the chilled wall, staring at the ceiling. My eyes scan above me, and I come to find out that this room has neither a ceiling nor insulation. Now that the season has finally changed, it will be really cold during the night. I have barely anything keeping heat on my body—just a t-shirt with shorts that go to my knees.He just had to kidnap me in my pajamas.I let out another sigh, wishing for some sort of release from this imprisonment."I tried to warn you."A soft voice makes me jump. I look and see that the girl I saw in white is standing right in front of me. Her face lacked any emotion, but her eyes were held with immense sadness—so deep with despair."I'm sorry that this happened. I just couldn't get your attention fast enough."I swallowed thickly and spoke softly, "Who are you?"She walks closer to me and sits down with her legs crossed. "Not who, but what?" I stayed silent and waited for her to continue. "But you can call me Lily. I'm in your head. You created me." I blink at her words, which made me freeze entirely. A cold chill runs up my spine as I sense that this is more than what I'm thinking."I know it's hard to believe. I can't imagine what you're going through. But you created me in resemblance to your dead little sister. I do not look much like her, but I am sure you feel the calming presence that she once gave when she was alive. I know that her favorite flowers are lilies. So, I named myself after them."At first, I couldn't place confidence in what I was hearing, but then I began to think about it. Somewhere, I guess she was always in the back of my mind, her presence residing beside me in times when I was in danger or near death.I take a deep breath, pinching the bridge of my cold nose."So, what you're saying is that you've been here since my sister died? To help myself cope?""I am far more than just that. I try to protect you when I sense danger, like a warning alarm inside your mind and body. I'm sure you know about your dream ability." She tilts her head, her brown eyes searching for an answer."You mean the nightmares I've been having about my death?"She nods, "Mhm. I've been giving you those visions to help you prepare, but as I can tell, they've only just put fear in you, and I'm sorry for that." Her shoulders slump and her eyes are glued to the floor."You're right. I don't understand why you're here, but you are the least craziest thing that's happened to me in the last couple off days. My voice spoke softly through the attic. She looks back up toward me with a sliver of shimmer in her eyes. A gentle smile forms on her face.I gave a smile as much as I could muster and patted the spot next to me."Why don't we speak a little bit more about this?"Lily was right about another thing. She's keeping me calm and making me feel less alone. Even though she is only something that I created for myself, it beats being alone and afraid. With her by my side, I could think of a logical way to escape this hell hole."I think I would like that."
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Eight days.Eight long days since my capture, and I've had not one single visit to be brought food or water. The room was filled with a stagnant, satiating smell from my body fluids and other things I'd rather not talk about.It's nighttime, so almost nine days. Since the first day of my arrival, I haven't talked with or seen Lily. Weird enough to say, but I miss her being here. She brought comfort, and all I am left with is a foul hunger for food and a dying thirst for water, even if it was just a little bit.My lips have become cold and chapped, shaking frail limbs from lack of nutrition.I had hoped that Tobias had forgotten me, but it seems like he is leaving me here to rot. Every day he would walk by and stand underneath me to listen and see if I was still alive, but then he would go about his day as if I didn't even exist to him—invisible.At this point, I can't even speak, and if I tried, I'd only be met with a small, dry snivel, desperate to be heard.Dark gloom fell over me, and the surrender of death was right around the corner—waiting for an angel to come take me away from this horrible, lonely place. It was frigid, the coldness numbing me from the physical pain, other than my massive migraine. I don't know how much longer I can take this—the loneliness, the eerie silence, the hunger. I just want to be free.I guess I didn't hear Tobias' footsteps since the door to the attic let out a loud screech, signaling that it was now open. I'm on my side, laying on the dirty floor while facing the wall.Once he fully stepped into the room, a flickering light made its way towards me, bringing the vastness to life. My body trembles from the chilly weather, no longer from fear—all worries have been drained from my mind.I watch the light glow against the wall that I'm chained to, Tobias' shadow lingering over me like a creature of the night. "Still alive, I see?" I assume that was a rhetorical question since he didn't have a follow-up inquiry.His warm, rough hands felt like burning needles, setting my skin on fire as he turned me onto my back. I let out a small grunt of pain, staring at the planks of wood above me, blinking slowly with my dry eyes.Soon, his masked face invades my vision. His eyes held nothing as he inspected me.He lets out a small hum as he lifts his hand underneath the back of my head.Before I knew it, tears formed around my tired eyes as he slowly lifted a cup to my mouth, the water splashing the last bit of hope in me as I drank very slowly. It burns my throat, but the replenishing liquid was a gift from a higher power, it felt like. I am so beyond thankful that the only way to show gratitude was to silently cry.He gave me the last bit of water and set the cup down, resting my head against the wooden surface."If I had known that leaving you in here for this long would almost kill you, I would've come up here sooner."His words left no trace of remorse or guilt. Even if he cared, what he said means nothing to me. Maybe he said it to get a reaction out of me, but my body wouldn't let me reply even if I wanted to. Does Tobias not want me to die? Perish?No, that would let me off easy. Too easy. He wants me to suffer. What should I expect from a criminal?"Time moves much slower for me," he continued.The candle he lit blossoms behind him, giving his tufts of brown hair an auburn look, like a soft, radiant halo. To say the least, this gave his dirty, rough look a smoother edge to bathe in for me to see. This is the first time I'm seeing him in what feels like an eternity.His warmth scalded and pierced needles into my skin as his hand traced my pale and sunken face. However, I don't move away from his touch. Something within me singed the inside of my chest, like a tiny flame swaying in a slow dancing motion. I look at his fingers and see that they're scarred, with white, thick, and thin lines tracing along his bruised knuckles."I know you from somewhere, don't I?" His low voice echoed in my mind when those words passed his lips and through his mask. My eyebrows slowly drift together in confusion, and I look up at him. The question remained in his run-down eyes, staring into me. Searching for an answer.I don't know what he'd do if he found out that I had dreams about himself. Even if I wanted to speak, I still wouldn't be able to because of the raging drought in my mouth.I shake my head 'no', hoping he would take that as an answer. If I spoke now, I would tear my throat in two. Tobias remained silent as he continued to stare me down. His gaze turns cold and empty, going back to their usual 'dead look'.He drew his warm hand away and left me cold, which made me shiver violently. Goosebumps ripple against my skin. Tobias goes back to inspecting me, and right after, he stands up."I'll be back with food," he stated in a monotone manner. He turns his heel to leave and walks down the stairs with only one light source. As the soft and warm glow fades away with every step he takes, I'm left looking out the window at the little white stars dispersed among the velvet sky.It's a very beautiful sight. When I look out and gaze, I start to realize that maybe there could still be humanity left in this world after all.However, this doesn't make my situation any easier to deal with, but it is proving to be more difficult. A heavy weight places itself on my chest, and I feel like my lungs are starting to cave in themselves.My breath hitches as my aching fingers grasp at my shirt and move towards my chest. My mouth hangs agape as I try to breathe for air, but nothing comes when I try to inhale. A burning sensation fills my throat as tears prick at my eyes.My medicine. 'I'm having a panic attack.'Without it, I could possibly blackout. My body thrashes for air while my feet weakly kick at nothing. I guess Tobias heard me struggle because, within a split second, he was already by my side. It's weird having your captor try to keep you alive when all he does is kill. Why is he treating me so differently all of a sudden?All I see are the stars through that window as my breath keeps being taken away from me. My eyes roll to the back of my head, and all I see is complete darkness. My body feels as if it's drifting as my consciousness slips away from between my cold fingers.His hands burn me once again before my whole body is set ablaze in a fiery pit.Then, release.
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It wasn't long till I found myself in a warm bed with sheets that felt like heaven against my skin. However, there was an unease in the pit of my stomach. I was now in a different room with no windows and only one door. It's small, but big enough to roam around with two people. The walls were painted a light gray with white trim, and the varnish chipped with age.A big mirror is placed right above the dresser that is set beside the wooden door, and a small lamp dimly lights the room with a copper glow on the opposite side of the room that's neatly placed on the small table that looks like it would topple over any minute. Other than that, the room was empty except for the full-sized bed I was occupying.I don't remember how I got in here. Last I knew, I was nearly on the brink of death in the attic, covered in my filth. But it seems to me that I'm cleaned up and put into clothes that I've never owned.I take a look at my hands, and they're bound to the head of the bed with thick fabric."Shit," I softly groaned. I'm still imprisoned. A quiet creak makes itself known in the silent room as the door opens. My heart drops when I see Tobias standing there in the entryway. For a moment, he says nothing. However, his eyes say a lot when he looks at me.The soft lighting pales against his icy gaze as he bores holes into me, sending a chilling shiver up my spine. Once he steps into the room, I flinch away and lean myself against the headboard."You are one lucky guy," he says as he makes his way to my bedside. "I thought you were going to be gone for good after your body went into shock." I tear my eyes away from his terrifying demeanor as he continues."It took five days just for you to wake up." That is when I look back at him with tears threatening to spill from my tired eyes."What do you want from me?" I mustered all the courage I had to speak, and it only came out in a low whisper. I found that I could finally speak without tearing my throat apart, but only enough to sound even more pathetic than I looked. I can see that this amuses him as his head twitches to the side, a grunt escaping from him."Answers." A deep chuckle rumbled through him as he drew nearer. "Then, maybe I'll treat myself to killing you afterward? W-who knows?" Crinkled lines form around his eyes, indicating he's smiling. I don't think that smile was a friendly one, hence my situation and the crazed aggression in his voice.My breath hitches at his overpowering character. I'm at a loss for words as I try to swallow down the bile rising in my throat. He backs away slowly, moving to the foot of the bed. "Y'know, out of all the people I've killed, you're the most idiotic one. I've watched you for weeks, and yet you have done nothing to protect yourself. Not even from you."His malicious words hit me like a ton of bricks. So, he was watching me before the law paid a visit. That was when he pulled out an all-too-familiar orange bottle from his jacket pocket and shook it in front of me. My eyes slightly widen at the fact that he has my medicine. He stole it!"For leverage. I'm going to assume this is important to you." He tucks it away into his torn-up blue jeans pocket as he leans against the wall, going back to staring me down."Now, I'll ask you the same question the night you went into shock: I know you from somewhere, don't I?"This is where I start to think he already knows that answer, but how can I tell him the truth without sounding out of my fucking mind? That's it! I won't tell him the truth, but I will give him what he wants—just not what he thinks I'm going to give him."No, but I know of you. You're a killer, the most wanted in the county." He seems to take a liking to the answer I gave him. "Well, I'm not infamous for nothing," he says as he spreads his arms out with his head tilted down, giving a very poor bow."I... I have been researching you, Tobias." He flinches at his name, and his stare turns into one that burns intensely instead of his usual bitter approach. "Toby would suffice," he spat. Before I knew it, he was already by my side with his rough hand around my already sore throat. My eyes widen in terror as his grip turns into a deathly one.Pressure rose to my brain, and my eyeballs felt like they'd pop out of my skull at any second the longer he pinned me to the headboard. He leans close to my left side as my vision begins to darken. "Say that name again," his lips now pressed to the outer shell of my blood-pounding ear, "and I'll r-r-rip your guts out just for you to watch me stuff them down your f-fucking throat!"I struggle to gasp for air as my feet kick the sheets from the bed, dropping to the floor without making a sound. His hot breath runs down the side of my reddening face as he slowly backs away enough to watch as I turn purple.Then, with a calm and focused intent, he spoke: "Or I'll be apprised of you suffocating with my hands wrapped around your neck and see the life culvert from your eyes." My lips tremble, pleading internally for him to stop, with tears falling down my heated cheeks.Just when I thought he was going to kill me right then and there, he slams the back of my head against the hardwood and lets go. I gasp strongly for air, stinging pain inflicting every fiber of my being. I cough as I choke on my searing tears. "Please, I'm sorry," I begged. My body shakes in fear of him strangling me again.The recurring nightmare floods my vision. However, this was far worse than just a dream that haunts me. This is real."You will be once I'm finished with you."His voice was now soft, but it still held a burning fury within. He then reaches to caress my cheek, and I stay still, letting him do whatever he wants without making him even more upset. His fingers lifted my face to look at him, and what I saw in his eyes was unrecognizable and inhuman.This is now my fate, my final destination before death takes its toll on me.Toby tilts his head, his brown hair falling into place as he studies me further."Next question: what are pills for?" A small frown places itself upon me. Why would this psycho want to know what those are for? To use them against me? It's not like any of that matters now. I'll be dead by the end of this anyway."Schizophrenia. I was diagnosed after an accident.""What kind of accident?" I can only assume I piqued his interest since his grip on my face softened. A shudder escapes from me as my eyes water, not wanting to have to relive the disaster. I can still hear her hair-raising, piercing shrieks, and the sound of wheels burning rubber."To tell it short, it was a collision; a vehicle accident."At that moment, I felt him freeze entirely. I couldn't even hear him breathe. Not a muscle was moving. I could've sworn that the look in his eyes showed a deep, hidden fear and apprehension. "T-Toby?" My voice seemed to have gone one ear and out the other, echoing in the depths of his mind that seemed so far away.Without a moment's notice, he quickly leaves, slamming the door behind him.Did I say something?Am I in even more trouble?
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Anytime Toby would feed and water me, he was always silent—not even a smart remark or a daring threat. Did what I say make him that upset?When he changed the ropes to a chain locked around my ankle he wouldn't spare me a glance. I was too scared to speak and make him angry again. At least the chain is long enough for me to wander around the room.Sometimes, I hear strange noises coming from his room—which is right across from mine. It'll sound like soft whimpers with a hint of fear. I guess even serial killers could have nightmares.I don't think Toby started out as one, though. No one does. Something really bad happened to him. I can see it all over him.I can't help but feel a heavy weight on my chest. I sort of feel sorry for the guy, but I'm sure that's not what he would want. He'd want me to fear him, obey him.I clench my jaw hard. Why is the world filled with cruelty that turns innocent people into monsters? Even though Toby is a murderer and a serial killer—plus a kidnapper, he still takes care of me when I'm in need. He'll get me a blanket if I'm cold. He feeds me when I'm hungry. And, he gives me water when I'm thirsty.This sounds a little weird, but he even put a small night light by the door to make me sleep better. All in all, I know that there's still humanity left in him. Even I don't want to admit it, but I know for sure it's true."Taking pity on the bastard? That's low even for you, y/n."My eyes focused on Gabrielle whom leaned against the wall, the night light beaming with an eerie white glow against him.I heaved a heavy sigh and leaned my head back against the wall, staring at nothing."Go fuck yourself, Gabrielle." My voice stayed full with malice and hatred. I'm so sick of him invading my mind like a shadow and taking everything he wants from me. Even in death he won't let me be."Ouch, so harsh, baby.""Don't fucking call me that! You piece of shit!" I growled, fury boiling deep in my gut. I put my head in my hands and pull on my hair."Y'know, you make me sick. You've always had. Now you're running with this guy?" He takes a few steps forward, the light now shining behind him."And you call me a piece of shit? The only label who carries that is you for letting your sister die.""I didn't—""You killed her.""I didn't kill her! You did!"At this point I was already off the bed face-to-face with him, the chain only letting me go so far. A smirk appeared on his face and he chuckled deeply. My eyes stung with tears threatening to spill down my reddened face."Pathetic like always." As he disappeared from my view, my vision begins to darken while my knees buckle from beneath me. I fall to the floor with a loud thump and my body begins to shake violently."Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!"My voice ripped from my lungs and they burned with agony. It felt like black tar dripped from my heart, and through my ribs, to the pit of my stomach leaving a pool of darkness within me.I close my eyes and I begin to softly sob as my heart shredded itself into two, the pieces weighing heavy in my chest. I lay on the cold wood underneath me as I pull myself into a fetal position on the floor.My whole life had been taken away from me and it hasn't let me be ever since. I've never been able to lead a normal life without something fucking it up.Maybe it's me?"Hey."A soft touch lands on my shoulder. This time I didn't even flinch; hearing Toby's voice. It was gentle and low, almost a whisper. This is the first time I'm hearing him in a while."Who were you talking to?"I open my eyes and I look up at him. He was crouched down on one knee as he hunched over me. His deep brown eyes were clouded with uncertainty as his fringe fell over his forehead.I heaved a sigh as tears kept falling down my expressionless, flushed face."Does it even matter?" I said as I look him in the eye. "Why would you care anyway?"All I hear from him is a soft sigh. I look away and closed my eyes as I felt the tiniest cherished parts of myself collapse around me."I don't," was all he said as he lifts me up and places me back in bed with ease. I open my eyes as he covers me with the thick blanket.Hollowness spread across me faster than a blink of an eye.His eyes scanned over my face. Dried tears stained my flushed cheeks and my eyes laid half-lidded.He walks out of the room, leaving the door open this time and going down the hall. This is the first of me seeing across the hall. I don't question where he was going because his bedroom door was left open as well.I was almost left speechless, but not from what you'd think. There was a window that I could see, if I leaned a little to the left, from where I was laying.Moonlight was shinning brightly and made everything in his room glow with a comforting, cool softness. Some clothes were scattered across the room and his desk was neat and tidy with some books lining against the wall just slightly above it that rested on a singular shelf.I could see just the edge of the foot of his bed that stuck out from the wall. The room was a lighter neutral color than mine and seems a bit in better shape.The whole room looked so welcoming with how the light shone over everything and every little detail. It was... beautiful.The sense of relaxation was quickly interrupted when I hear Toby's footsteps walk down the hall. He sets himself in a spot with an old chair beside me, crossing his fingers over his lap."Remember when I said I know you from somewhere?" My tired and puffy eyes drew their attention towards him. I paused for a moment before nodding. "Yes.""The visions and when I heard you scream: 'I didn't kill her,' I then knew it wasn't a mistake to bring you here. I couldn't be for sure until now."My eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. What the hell does he mean by all this? Couldn't be sure about what?"I'm not sure I understand," I said with my eyes glued to him.He leans back in the old chair as it let out a low groan from the weight and it disrupted the tense silence between us." You were the one that saved me."
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The day was cloudy with the sun just barely peaking out, the hints of light making the leftover water droplets glisten against the silver vehicle.Tucking away the last couple of bags in the back, Gabrielle came around from the front and let out a soft and contemptuous sigh, showing that it had been a really long, rainy day."She's all strapped in and ready to go. Lily says that she wants to go get ice cream." I let out a gentle laugh as I closed the trunk of the car. I face him with a knowing look. "She's had way too much sugar for the day—" "Oh, come on. Lily spent all that energy hiking for five miles, which seems like a long way for a kid her age. I think she deserves a treat."His voice was soft against the birdsong that twiddled in the damp air. I sighed rubbing my eyes. "It goes against my better judgment, Gabe, she'll have a sugar rush and crash. You know how my parents are if she sleeps too early.""Then we'll just have to ask Lily herself! I believe she knows what's best," Gabrielle poked. I cross my arms, looking down at the ground as the smile on my face slowly fades."Hey," he questioned with worry. "Is everything okay?"I kicked the pine needles that lay underneath my boot as I looked back at him, forcing a smile on my face. "Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just a little tired from the trip is all." "Would you want me to drive? I can if you would like?" I nodded and walked to the passenger side as he walked to the driver's side."Ice cream! Ice cream!" Lily's childish laughter filled the car as we both got in and were ready to leave the now-empty campsite. She clapped her chubby little hands together as she got excited when the car started."Yeah, we'll get some ice cream," I sighed after finally caving in. I couldn't resist her adorable charm. I turned back to look at her and her eyes glowed with excitement. "But, you have to stay awake until we get back to Mom and Dad. Okay?" I asked as I reached to tickle her sides. She kicked her legs screaming with joy as she tried to get away from the tickles."Okay! Okay!"I smiled triumphantly and turned back around. "Hey," Gabrielle said as moved my hair away from my eyes. Man, I'm so in love with him. "Happy 19th birthday, y/n." He gave me a sweet peck on the forehead. I softly smiled at him and put my seatbelt on. "Thanks, Gabe. That means a lot."He just smiled in return as he put the car in drive, now making our long way back home. "Now, we have a long ride ahead of us. So, get comfortable! I'll make a stop for ice cream before we leave town.""Yay!" Lily exclaimed.We continued down the paved road that had autumn leaves askew all over, some blowing away with the wind—signaling another storm was brewing."Ugh, can't get enough storms, huh?" Gabrielle asked me, trying to make me feel better in his own kind of way.All I could was shrug. "I guess so. I hope I don't get sick or something." His lips turn into a flat line as his eyes focus on the road. "There's something I'd like to ask, y/n. Would you ever want to, oh—I don't know, move—" Gabrielle was interrupted by his phone ringing loudly. As the phone rang, I looked at him with a curious gaze. As I stared at him, he continued to ignore the call."Want me to get that for you?" He then quickly grabs the cell from the cup holder and silences it. Gabrielle sent me a few weary side glances as he tucked it away into his pocket. This had me even more curious but led me to be more confused—skeptical, even."Who was that?" I see him gulp slightly as he tries to keep his eyes on the road."O-oh, just a... uhm, just a friend. He can wait." I blinked at him and leaned back a little bit. "He?" I asked slowly, hoping that it wasn't his past lover since he tried to contact Gabrielle before while we were together."I hope it isn't Allan. You know how I feel—""Are you accusing me of talking with him still?" Gabrielle's voice rose a little bit, which threw me back hence I'd never heard this tone of his before. "What? No—" "I am sorry if I can't have any phone calls without you jumping down my throat."Gabrielle's aggressiveness made my stomach churn uncomfortably, heat simmering and pooling at the bottom. "Now hold on a sec! I'm just voicing my concern and you're being really rude, Gabe—I think I have a right to talk about them.""You know what I think? I think you're just insecure about our relationship.""Oh my—what has gotten into you? We were fine just a second ago!" Now I was really worried it was Allan. Gabrielle had been getting message after message during this whole trip and had been acting weird ever since we left my parent's house."You know what?" He asks as he struggles to pull his phone out of his pocket, not realizing he was speeding ten over eighty-five. My heart rate spikes as he looks down at the phone to unlock it, not paying attention to the oncoming vehicle.Lily starts crying in the backseat. I turn to her in hopes of helping her calm down. "Hey, hey—it's okay. I'm here." I turn to face him. "Gabe! Stop it! Slow do—"Everything happened so fast that I didn't realize it right away. A flash of white blinded my vision and for a moment everything had stopped. No more screaming from Gabe and no more crying from Lily. My eyes lay closed as I heard metal creaking from above me.After what seemed like forever, I finally opened my eyes. At first, I noticed the big hole in the windshield that had cracks all around with something smeared and stained red on it. It dripped upwards and landed on the ceiling of the car. I thought that was weird, so I looked around some more. My eyes slowly drift to where Gabrielle once was. Half of his body was torn in half and crushed between the seat and steering wheel. I assume his other half is what caused the windshield to have a giant hole in the middle of it.I strain my neck to turn and see Lily. It took me a minute to realize that she was buried beneath her car seat, her head sticking out from underneath and twisted in the most gruesome way possible. Her neck was now broken. She was dead and so was Gabrielle.I now see that we were in a car accident and my chest tightens. My breathing picks up as my whole being shakes."Gabe.. Lily.. Lily. No, no—Lily!" I moved and I winced at the stabbing sensation in my side. "Fuck!" Tears filled my eyes as I hung upside down, the seat belt the only thing holding me in place. Shakily, I pushed the red button as hard as I could and I leaned into the sharp glass that was scattered under me. It hurt landing, but nothing hurt more than what I had just witnessed.Quickly, as fast as I could, I crawled my way out of the shattered window and got out safely. The vehicle groaned underneath its weight while lying on its back.A loud cry ripped itself out of me. I lost them. I lost her.In a state of shock, I looked over to the other car and it was in worse shape than the one I had just crawled out of.The whole car was totaled and the frame was all bent to hell.What if there's someone alive in there? I get up and let out a painful yelp, staggering towards the smoking vehicle.At first, I couldn't see anything. I walk to the driver's side first. There was a girl with blonde hair around my age. She carried the same fate. I felt sick to my stomach as I tore my eyes away from her.Across from her, though, was a boy not much younger than me who had brown hair. His eyes remained closed, but as far as I could tell he was still breathing.As quickly as I could, I made my way around and opened the door. It took a few hard tries since it was jammed, but I finally got it to open. "Hey, hey!" I looked around for any injuries and luckily I didn't see any that seemed brutal. That airbag is what must have saved him.His eyes began to flutter open as I unbuckled him from the seat, pushing down the rest of the airbag to make way for him to move. His clothes were tattered and torn with blood speckling in some places. However, I don't think that blood is his."Lyra," he croaked. I softly gasped as I had him face me and away from the girl next to him, not wanting him to see her in that condition. "Hey, keep your eyes on me, okay?" I pleaded shakily. His eyes stayed glued to me, widening with fear as tears rolled down his pale cheeks."Let's get you out of here and call for help."I don't even know this person and all I wanted to do since seeing him is the urge to make him feel safe until the ambulance showed up.So, I kept him company until then.
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"W-wait," I said as I tripped over my own words. I guess Toby was shocked as I was about 'saving' him. This is the kid all those years ago? He's definitely got spunk to him now more than ever. I guess he was the one who haunted me in my sleep, lurking in my dreams."Yes, it's me." His voice was rough as his brown eyes pierced right through me. My breath had gotten caught in my throat. I feel myself trembling in the sheets of my newfound bed.I stay silent. No words can describe how or what I'm feeling. Am I relieved that he's still alive after all these years? Do I hate him for taking me?He stayed eerily still in the chair across from me, but with only a few twitches here and there. Toby's eyes were glued to me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and I think that's what scares me the most.The trembling slowly came to a stop and my stomach began to ache from all the stress I've been put under."I-I.. I think I'm-"I slap my hand over my mouth as I grab the bin next to me and I hurl into it—gripping the sides of the metal can with pain.My body lurches uncontrollably.After finishing puking whatever I had left in my stomach, I wipe my mouth while sighing discontented.Toby stares at me in silence.Shakily, I put the can back down onto the floor. I guess all of this at once is affecting my whole body. My head spins out of control. I grip the side of my skull as I lean back into the softness of my pillows."This.. can't be happening right now," I mutter softly.I look at him and his eyes are now glued to the floor. I can see that he's dissatisfied with my reaction to this. But, how could I not? My whole life I was thinking he was eventually going to live a normal life, but he's here holding me hostage against my will.Ironically, I finally had the guts to ask him the question I've been avoiding—afraid of what his answer might be."Toby," I said, my voice soft and distant, even to myself. Toby then looks at me. I could see the deep vastness in his eyes, a look I don't think I'll be forgetting any time soon."Why am I here?"He stays silent for a moment, seemingly unaware of the question that I had just asked him."What do you want with me? I have nothing to offer you.""You're right, y-you don't."He stands up. "However," he says quietly as he picks up the bucket that I hacked into. The stench wafts towards my face and my nose scrunches up in disgust—the taste of bile rising back up into my throat."I have something you can't refuse."That's when I looked up at him with confusion in my puffy, tired eyes. He towers over me as his eyes peered through his brown locks. Toby then brushes the hair away from my sickly damp face.The more answers I get, the more questions I'm left with. What could he possibly have to give me? I haven't seen him in years and now this? I'm almost too afraid to ask him what he meant. He says nothing as he leaves the room, softly shutting the door behind him.I figured Toby would leave me here to think about his vague claim. How could he be so negligent, yet take care of me at the same time? This is just all too confusing for my broken mind to deal with.My eyes well up with tears. Hot tears.I gently shutter as I sink into the bed further, the blanket covering everything from the shoulders-down. As I lay on my side, I stare at the wall as I watch it bubble and blur from my silent crying. I stuff the blanket into my face, feeling the warmth of my tears soak into the semi-stained comforter.I just want to go home.I miss my parents. I miss Lily. I want to be where she is, wherever that may be.That's when I begin to wonder; does Toby think the same? Does he want to be where his sister is? I'm sure he does. I mean, I can tell someone's a sibling when I see one—being one myself.I curl further into the thicket of the bed.Lily, whenever you may be, I'll find you. It may not be now or even later, but I will find you.I softly sob.Never have I thought my life would come to this; so damn depressing. It almost seems too terrible to be true.My mother always used to say: "God puts his strongest warriors through the most turmoil."I don't feel like a warrior or very strong, for that matter. I've never been the religious type. I could never find see myself to believe in anything. I don't think there is a god that could save me—not even the most powerful being in the universe.Maybe I should start believing. I don't know what I could ever put my faith into, but whatever it may be—please hear my call and help me.Please, help me.I start to grow exhausted. I sigh, uncovering my head from beneath the warmth of the blanket. Maybe if I fall asleep I'll feel better.I highly doubt it, but it couldn't hurt to try.I close my eyes, letting the darkness consume me.Before I know it, my mind wanders off into a calmer state and I slowly begin to drift off.I just hope that this hell I'm in will end.
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"Here," he said.In Toby's hands was a wooden bowl with steaming liquid inside of it. I looked at him and then back at the bowl with uncertainty. "Uhm," I said softly."What's in it?" I shivered a little, shaking from being cold. He hands it to me and the warmth immediately soaks into my cold hands. He's been trying to keep it warm in this room since the blizzard storm is just around the corner."Soup," he simply replied.I look inside it and the smell wafts toward me. Chicken soup.I smile a little, just barely. "Thank you," I mumble. I bring the bowl to my lips and sip the soothing broth lightly. The delicious flavor hits my tongue immediately. I let out a satisfying hum and drank some more—the warm soup pooling at the bottom of my stomach.I look at him and see that Toby is fine, not bothered by the cold. "How are you not shivering?" He lets out a hum and sits in his usual chair. "My condition restricts certain p-physical sensibilities," his deep brown eyes cast towards the floor boards.I let out a soft 'oh' . I eye at him while finishing the last bit of soup, putting my bowl to the side. I lay back down, huddling underneath the covers. I shiver.Toby clears his throat and adjusts in his seat as his eyes stayed glued to the floor.I look in his direction."Once it begins t-to snow, I'll be moving you to the living room where the fire-fireplace is," he muttered.It's strange.I can't begin to imagine where to start. After all this time and after everything he's done to people, even to me, I still know nothing about this man. Why does he care? Actually, I can't even say that caring is what it is. Maybe it isn't him giving a shit, but completely something else.I still have no clue what he wants to offer me. This is just the beginning. If I want to see the end of this I have to get my shit together."Toby?"His eyes drew towards me and I slowly sit up with the blankets surrounding me in a pile of softness. I can't tell what lies within those eyes, but if I ever want to be free again I have to find it myself."What is it," he questioned.I take a deep breath and sigh."I know that you won't tell me what you have to offer anytime soon," I said firstly."What makes you say th-that?" Toby's voice held deep amusement as he fiddled with the stitching of his jeans. He twitches in his seat. That's probably a part of his physical restriction that he was talking about.I cleared my throat as I lean against the headboard of the bed. "Well, you would have told me already. I mean, there's no point in trying to keep it from me," I said, taking in his unfazed reaction."Unless," I eagerly stated."You're using it against me to get what you want." When those words came out of my mouth. He went still, any amount of amusement completely erased.His eyes turned dark.Slowly, he stands. As he walked towards me I felt instant regret in the pit of my stomach, leaving hollowness to roam. With both hands, Toby placed them on either side of my head against the board and he leans in excruciatingly slow. Soon he was close enough that I could feel his chilly breath against my skin."You don't know anything."I swallow hard. In this proximity I can see finer details in his face, along with his mask. It looked like it was made of fine metal material—scratches and little dents leave patterns on it. His skin is very pale, with the slightest of freckles and deep sockets for eyes.His eyes.I felt my breath stripped away from me as I tried to recollect myself."That's another thing," I whispered, my soft voice catching in my throat. "I don't know what you want with me. Nor do I care. If you wanted to kill me you would have already done so."My eyes look into his and I can see that something within him is conflicted."Toby," I whisper more softly."Why am I really here? You won't tell me, but I really need to know." The gentle glow of the soft yellow lamp surrounds us in temperate ambience."I don't know," he whispers back. His voice sounded rough, but seemingly calm."I felt compelled to take you—to keep you."Keep me?"Ever sin-since I saw your face," he says as he deeply exhales. "It burned into my mind, leaving a mark that never seemed to go away. You even showed up in my dreams." Toby's voice shook. His eyes changed as he recalled to a memory."I can't say why you're here, because I d-do-don't know."My heart beats fast in my chest. My lips hung partially open in shock. He kidnapped me just because he felt compelled to? What way of thinking could possibly make someone take anybody for no reason?And then it hit me.I swallowed harshly, thick saliva forming at the back of my throat. A little louder this time, I say: "Is it because I saved you?"When those words left my lips, he blankly stares at me with his deep brown eyes. I don't know why, but slowly, I reach for his face with both hands. I gently held onto him and I can see the hurt that the accident had left behind. As far as I've noticed, he's all alone here. There's no surrounding neighbors or even a small community, just an empty void—not that civilized people should be around him.I shuddered with slight tears in my eyes.In that moment, I felt that he could also see the damage done within me. His warm face made me shiver less, which made my body ease into the warmth that he surrounds me with."I'm...," I softly whispered even more quietly than the last."I'm so sorry." Then the tears fell, streaming down my flushed face.
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It had been days since that strange night. Toby says that the ground is covered in a thick blanket of snow and he's moving me to the living room. With this, I can see outside now.I huff at the chain around my ankle. I lift it up and it clinks against itself as I stare at it with verily tired eyes. I'm sick of this chain.However, being out of that musty room and into a more spacious spot is a treat—along with this couch I'm currently sitting on. It's weirdly more comfortable than that bed I've been sleeping on.I put my bare foot back down with a soft thud."Why must you keep this on me? It's not like I can go anywhere. I'd die out there."Toby sighs as he put more firewood in the pit. He stands from his crouched position and turns towards me."Ev-Even so, it's to protect you." "What? How does that make any sense?"He sighs once more. I begin to feel like he's done with me asking so many questions."I know you'd run when you have the chance and get yourself killed." "But I just said I wouldn't go out there-""That's not the reasoning for-for this. There are other things out there that could kill or do worse to you." I didn't want to ask who or what that could be. I sigh.He was right, though. I would've ran away if I got the slightest chance, even if I just said I wouldn't. I lied. It would be dumb, but I still believe I could be away from all this.I could never fully understand Toby's motives, but I what I do know is that he's keeping me alive for a reason—for ones I couldn't even comprehend."Y/n," he says, his voice soft. It almost scared me a bit. He rarely ever says my name."Y-Yes?" My eyes were glued to him, almost too hard to move them away. He takes a knee in front of me and looks me dead in the eye."I'm going on a run in a few and I'll be back with more f-food." I nodded, completely unaware of what may come of this."I might not be back 'til dark, so keep the fire going." As he stands up, my eyes move toward the pile of dried cedar wood. It made the whole room smell good.Back when I was home, I would use cedar wood oil to make the house feel and smell more welcoming. All of a sudden, my lips turn to a frown. Weirdly enough, I miss my home. I miss being there.A slam of the door breaks me from my thoughts and I look out the window. I saw Toby walking further and further away with his things and he disappeared into the snow. I was finally all alone.Feeling this way gave an open hole within me. Why? I should be thankful and relieved that he is gone; my chance to escape! Yet, something keeps me here from even wanting to try. It isn't because it's snowing or freezing.It's something completely else and my stomach turns at the thought of what it might be. Slowly, I get up and walk towards the fire, sitting down crisscrossed in front of the blooming flames that licked all along the firewood. It was nice and toasty. It wouldn't hurt to add a log or so in there since I think he didn't put enough fire wood.To the right of me is a pile of neatly stacked logs. I grab one and tossed it into the fire. Little flames of light get thrown in the air from the impact and I watched the burning ones crumble underneath the weight of the new logs. Wafts of heat brushed against my cold skin.So, I guess it's time to wait for him to come back home.Home??I don't see this place as any kind of home. What am I thinking? I grunt in frustration and I hit the side of my head with the palm of my hand. "Stupid. Stupid!" I kept hitting it until the side of my head burned. Once I stopped, a massive wave of pain formed on the side of my head."Ow," I mumbled. What the hell is wrong with me?I looked out the window in front of me. On a branch is a red cardinal. Its feathers were vibrant against the white snow. I saw it take a few stems from the pine to gather for its little nest just above the branch it perched on. It was very cute. It reminds me of when my dad and I would bird watch in our back yard. He'd hold the binoculars up to my face and would show me where the nests were.Of course, being a child that I was thought it was the most amazing thing—a being able to make its own home out of nothing.
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The wind howls in a great heap of rage, its tantrums making the surrounding environment having a less chance of survival for the creatures that dwell in the nearby areas. It is getting dark out already and it had been hours since Toby left scavenging for food. There's no way he could make it through this storm without freezing to death. The anxiety within me only worsened as the loud banging of the tree branches hit against the roof.I have got to get out of here.I look around to find anything useful as the chain clinks against its will along the wooden floor.Thirty minutes have passed and I was just about to give up when something caught my eye just beneath the couch. I crouch down and a heavy duty paper clip shines in all its glory gleaming against the fire. I quickly snatch it as a shaky sigh of relief escapes me. I sit on the floor as I begin to start picking at the key hole. This seems pretty old, so I should be able to do this quickly. A few moments go by as I hear a click, my eyes watching the cuff fall to the floor with a heavy thunk. I sat there in shock. It actually worked.Quickly, I get up and make my way toward Toby's room and I dressed into warmer clothing, sneaking one of his pair of boots. They weren't the most reliable, but it's much better than what I was wearing before.I look around the cabin one last time before I make my escape. And then now, I am free. Free from the isolation, the horrible cabin, from him. If there was anything to thank for this mentally unstable man, it's that he kept me alive all this time. Now I'll never know what he wanted from me or what he had planned. In a way, my curiosity still lingers even so. However, it's not enough for me to notice because of the overwhelming joy I feel rushing through me.My legs move faster than they have ever before, the wind harshly screaming in my ears as the snow hits against my face. My lungs beg for me to catch my breath, but my adrenaline fumes at their plea.I can't see as well as I hoped, but at least I'm getting farther and farther away from where I nearly met my maker. I hope I can finally see my family again. I hope they missed me so much that they're at my house right now waiting for me to come home and jump into their arms.Yet, fate had other plans for me.I trip over a black mass nearly hidden in snow. I gasp as I try to catch some air, my eyes watering at the coldness— face numb to the wind. I was about to get back up and start running when I vaguely see a hand sticking out from underneath this mound. A person!I quickly dust them off and I pull them into my arms. Jeez, this fucker is super heavy. "Hey, hey! Are you with me?" I slowly turn them over and my stomach drops."Toby," I whisper. Slowly, I reach under his thick jacket and touch his bare skin. He's still a bit warm, but he feels like he's been here for at least thirty minutes.I slowly get up, resting him on the ground. I can't do this anymore. I have to leave. I turn around and I pause. A deep frown forming on my face. Jesus, what has this man done to me? I must be fucking insane. I turn back around and my eyes lay upon him. He could die and very soon he just might not make it—if he isn't dead already.A deep sigh, escapes from me—muted by the wind. I grab his arm and I fling it over my shoulder. This is about to be so difficult.I hang onto his arm tightly as I wrap my other arm around him, slowly but surely lifting him up as I stand. All of his weight leans against me as I nearly stumble. I can do this. I begin to walk as I feel Toby's feet drag behind him. His head hangs low, his arm dangling at his side. He looks like a puppet and I'm pulling his strings.I go back into the direction where I came from and I try my best to make my way fast. It may be much longer than what it took me when I was alone, than with him being unconscious against me.Before I knew it, I'm back at this godforsaken place with Toby by my side. I lean him down and against the wall, quickly opening the door and dragging Toby's body inside—placing him in front of the fireplace. I go back shut the door before I begin to put more wood in the pit. I kneel down at the man's side. As I unzip his hefty jacket, I press my ear against his chest. Faintly, I hear his heart beat. I think he may have passed out from how cold it was—nearly shutting down his body completely.I begin to undress him, the snow quickly making his clothes wet from melting, leaving him in his shorts he had underneath his jeans. I guess even doubling his layers couldn't help him. I most likely would've died out there myself if I had just kept going. I go to his room, bring his wet clothes with me as I set them on the floor.I come out with an arm full of blankets and pillows. I drape two blankets over him and set a pillow beneath his head—tossing the other next to him. I really don't want to have to do this, but this man leave me no choice. The most effective and efficient method to warm up a body is through skin to skin contact.Slowly, I take the boots off and strip from my clothes—leaving me in my boxers. This is too embarrassing. I nearly back out, but the way he shivers and softly shudders is keeping me from doing so. I kneel down and I crawl under the thick blankets. His body uncontrollably shakes, its own way to make it warm itself back up. I doubt he feels the cold, but his muscles refuse to relax.Without wasting another moment, I reach my sore arms out and I pull his body into me. Holy shit, he's so freezing. How is he not dead yet? Toby is very lucky I found him. I wrap my arm and leg around him, securing the heat for the both of us with the help of the fireplace.I sigh, closing my eyes.It's been a very long time since over held someone. Despite the circumstances, this wasn't too bad. I can't believe that I have saved this guy twice now. It's almost as if I was meant to be around him. To protect him.I shake my head. Why can't I stop thinking like this? Is it the survivor's guilt that's keeping me here? I..don't know what to do anymore.All of the hopes and dreams of seeing my family again fade away once more, crashing all around me.My eyes look down onto him, seeing his scarred face buried in my chest."What are you doing to me?" I whisper.When his eyes slowly flutter open, I tense up—my breath getting caught in my throat. His deep brown eyes slowly look up at me, the haze of uncertainty in them."Am...I dream-dreaming?" His voice was scratchy and low, nearly cracking. "Did I die?" He asked slowly. I take a second to answer, wondering if he was going to push me away. Then, I shake my head no once I realized he was waiting for me to answer. "No," I whisper. "Neither."Just before he was about to speak, his eyes roll back as he is once again unconscious. I swallow thickly as I hold him closer."You're safe."Previous memories flood my mind as I feel the strong sense of deja vu overcome me. I've done this once before; holding him like this. We were much younger back then.I stare at the fire through half lidded eyes as sleep takes hold of me. I'll worry about tomorrow when that time comes. But, for right now all I want is to succumb to the gentle bliss of physical contact and put today behind me.
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It was freezing by the time I woke up in an embarrassingly wrapped position with my kidnapper, legs intertwined and gentle hands grazing bare hips. I swallow thickly as I finish putting more firewood in the furnace, my clothes chilled from the floor sinking into my skin as I sigh--a bit of pink dusting my cheeks from shame while my eyes land on Toby's eerily still body. When he wakes up, I don't know how well he'll take me breaking free from my icy chained prison. But, if I hadn't he would be dead. For all I know, I could still be trapped in here and starved to death. All of the reasons I could come up with wouldn't relieve any bit of fury he'll have with me. As a matter of fact, I could leave right now since the blizzard had passed hours ago. Yet, I still find myself here attending to his needs.I stand up from the couch slowly while I approach him gradually. I see his pale shoulders peak beneath the covers. Oh, that's right. I won't be able to explain how he's naked either. I let out a disgruntled groan, running my hands over my tired face--the dark circles increasing the weight of their puffiness. Through all of the things I've undergone, this was something I'd never expect from my past experiences.A deep shiver runs up my spine as I see Toby peeking through half lidded eyes, staring straight at me with such confusion and anger. His breathing quickens. Here goes nothing. "Why can't I move?" His voice was hoarse and scratchy, filled with fury. I could see fire burning in those deep pits and it scared me a bit. "I broke out, planning to run away," I stated firstly, my lips nearly trembling. "Then, I found you buried in snow. If I hadn't tripped over you, you'd still be about a mile away out there. I brought you back here." He was silent and I didn't know if that was bad or worse. So, I continued on. "I didn't think you were going to make it," I said softly. "I was going to leave you out there to die. I really was, just so I could get back at you for imprisoning me like some animal." I watched his nostrils flare at me in what I could only describe as rage. My heart thumps heavily in my chest. I knew he'd be outraged."But" I said slowly. "I couldn't bring myself to do so." I looked away, my eyes drawing toward the floor. "It wouldn't have been right. I also think that's not the only thing that brought me to save you. I rescued you once already and when I did I knew it was for a reason; a second chance." I sit back down on the couch again, but closer to him so that he could see me without having to look very far--my eyes still glued to the floor. Then, it hits me. It won't be for very long, but I could take it over the situation and reverse the roles. He's stuck and is unable to move. I look up at him once more and I see his view of me change in the slightest. He knows he's helpless.I go over to him and crouch down, his eyes following my every move."I want to make a deal," I proposed. "I get you back to health and you lead my way out of here or I leave you here to fend for yourself and find my own way out of this 'middle of nowhere'." His body twitches involuntarily as I watched the gears in his head turn. "And from what I can see, you wouldn't want that. I assume gathering food isn't what 'all' you do while you're out." "You assume a lot of things you don't know two s-shits about. You should have left me to die." I wasn't completely shocked when I heard him say those words. I knew he'd be reluctant. "Toby," I said as my crouch came to a kneel. "Don't be so stubborn. All I ask is quid pro quo." I don't hear a word from him. He lays there silently. A frown seeps its way onto my face as I stand up. Without another word, I stand back up and walk toward the door, my footsteps creeping away from him. In all honesty, I really didn't want to leave him like this, but he left me no choice.I reach for the handle and swing the door open. Grey clouds take away the sun I so desired, gusts of wind rustling my clothes. I can smell the freedom once again. I sigh as I take a step out of the doorway."Wait," I hear him croak. I stop, not turning around. I waited for him to say more, the frown still lingering on my face. Turning around, I see him struggle to find the words to use to convince me to not leave. Steadily, I close the door and walk toward him. Something changed in his eyes, something that could not be hidden; fear. I sigh, kneeling back down. "Do we have a deal?" I asked very softly. I could tell that he wanted my head on a spike with how he responded. "Yes," he whispers.I slowly reach out and felt his forehead. He was burning up that I almost withdrew my hand quickly. "You have a fever. I'll be right back." I stand up and searched for the kitchen. It was a mess and in total disarray. Quickly, I found a decent rag and ran it under some lukewarm water. It wasn't much, but this could help break his fever faster. I wrung it out and made my way back to him. I gently press the rag to his forehead and he didn't budge. It was almost as he was afraid of me touching him. "I won't hurt you," I whispered."This will help." I caressed his forehead and down his bare neck and chest. While doing so, I noticed scars but made sure not to be too obvious. I don't wanna know where he got those from."Oh, and I stripped your clothing because you were covered in snow and it melted--making your clothes wet." I'll just leave out the part where I had to hold him skin-to-skin. I shook my head a bit, trying not to seem like I'm hiding something. His bangs stick to his face as I try to brush them away from being a nuisance. "Why are you doing this out of all things you could have chosen?" His voice was low as his eyes strayed away from me."Old habits?" A bit of sarcasm laced my tone.He grunts in discontent. I don't blame him, though. "You know, I think we were meant to cross paths again. But, I still don't know why or what brought us back together." Those words slipped from between my lips loosely, not wanting to say much more than that.His eyes then look back at me, dull and empty."You say such odd things, it's confusing." I don't say anything else as I run the rag across his chest--cold sweat tracing his pale skin. All I could do was nod in that moment. All was silent as I continued to aid him. This is going to be such a very long process, much longer than I think it will be.