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“You’re fucking where?!”Johnny’s loud, corny voice rocketed through the Palace of America’s opulent hallway and you could feel the judgmental wince from surrounding tourists in your own goddamn asshole. Why did he never learn to shut the fuck up?You covered the grainy speaker on your phone and hissed back, “Can you get the fuck off my call?”“She called me and you stole my fucking phone.” Johnny went flying off the FaceTime screen as Nayeon, your Best Fucking Friend Forever (BFFF, an important distinction) and intended target for this conversation, shoved him out of the way. “But the question still stands, why the hell are you all the way in Arlington—”A deep voice on your end interrupted her, “Quiet, please. This is a historical site.”You glanced up from your chosen loitering bench and one of the museum security guards was straight up pissed you were having this conversation out in the open… in an open area… where other tourists were openly talking. Because of that and the judgmental side eye he gave your outfit, you figured his order was personal beef and chose to not hang up the phone.“You know,” you muttered pointedly, hoping that would be enough to get them to shut up.But all three of them erupted in unison, “Seriously? Again?!,” drawing security’s attention back onto you, before Nayeon had the sense to lower her voice, “Why do people even find her posts entertaining? It’s just her dressed up in front of old buildings pretending she’s a princess.”You did not have an answer beyond the fact that your stepsister won a Miss Teen Williamsburg pageant once and thirteen years later, still got full goddamn use out of the crown they gave her. Yuna had a million followers on Instagram and they all seemed to love her royal-style photoshoots or whimsical frolicking videos. None of them seemed to know that she wasn't actually a modern descendant of America's royal family or related to them in any way, and most of her flawless, classy beauty was you orchestrating literal magic behind the scenes.“She is incredibly hot.” Hongseok made his point clear by wiggling his eyebrows to the one other dude on the call who’d understand. Despite knowing what side he was supposed to be on, Johnny couldn’t help himself and nodded along… until he saw you glowering at him through the video screen and stopped all movement.Again, why did he never learn to shut the fuck up?Nayeon jumped in with a smooth counterargument against your friend-with-benefits-that-you-sometimes-wished-were-unnecessary, “No, she’s a conventionally attractive woman which people think means that she’s hot. Blue is the true hot one.”Of course you were the hot one. You had to be, you had nothing else going for you.Hongseok’s nose wrinkled as he grumbled at his girlfriend, like she wasn’t the bi icon of VBeach, “What do you fucking know about hot women?”“Can you stop cursing?!” You had to get in the middle of another brewing argument between that toxic ass couple before something exploded, “Otherwise I’m gonna have to hang up on you!”Johnny laughed out loud which was enough to derail the conversation as you intended, “When did you find Jesus?”You angled the phone camera subtly to your right so they could see the man still hovering and listening to every word of this. “When this security guard wearing a George Washington royal crest hat and holding a literal sword keeps glaring at me.”Seriously, that thing was as pointy as the vine leaves surrounding the J on that crest.You stood up with your best fake haughty expression that the guard rolled his eyes at, then you walked towards the center of the hallway and pretended that you were interested in looking at some of the portraits. After scoping out a spot between frames to continue your conversation in relative privacy, you glared at a tourist family before they could approach it and made yourself comfortable to let the rest of this boring ass afternoon pass by.Nayeon stole the phone back and asked, “Don’t you have some magic to work or something?”“I already worked my magic, now they’re paying me for nothing.” Unless Yuna’s perfectly done makeup got fucked up somehow - not impossible, which is why you couldn’t risk leaving the museum to go get high in the gardens - there was nothing for you to do while she was shooting her content.Hence the loitering.“Sounds like me at my firm—old job.” Nayeon was on sabbatical from being maybe the best lawyer in VBeach and was doing her best to avoid even mentioning her law firm. But Hongseok wasn’t having it and shot her the shadiest side eye.You cursed his loser chicken ass in your head and wished he could hear it. He was such a pussy for not being able to handle the fact that his girlfriend was smarter and more successful than he was.Distractions were necessary again, “Anyways, I’m just standing here…” but you ended up almost eating shit and knocking over a nearby painting when a young woman who wasn’t paying attention barreled right into you. You caught yourself on the frame, which almost ripped off the bandage on the new tattoo on your forearm. With pain radiating up your limb, you hollered after her, “Ow! Fucking watch it!”“Apologies,” she muttered without turning back to face you.Asshole. Bitch. Either one or both was applicable here, depending on how angry you were. You checked the outline on your forearm and beneath your angry red skin, the sturdy outline of a house’s roof was still intact.Fine, you’d be one molecule less angry. Asshole only.Once you made sure you were in a spot where no one could knock into you, you went back to the conversation, “If people stopped being dickheads, I could stand in peace by this…” You turned around to see what painting had almost ripped off your arm and your jaw hit the goddamn floor. “…portrait of a really hot dead guy.”Nothing about calling him hot was you being generous.If someone was hot to you, they were hot, and this man was hot by any standard - historical, modern, futuristic, galactical. Seriously, with those solemn eyes that matched his gorgeous black hair, a slanted, sharp jawline of pure porcelain skin, and the embroidered jacket that was painted to look like it was dripping in jewels? This man would’ve been a certified hottie in any era, he would’ve been hot to a blind person.Nayeon’s excited squeal burst through the speakers, “Who?! I need some eye candy.”“I’m right here!” Hongseok protested.“Do I care?”“You should!”
“Let me see…” You raised your voice to break up your friend's relationship tussles for the third time, then bent over to read the elegant museum placard. You almost fell on the goddamn ground when you recognized the name, “Prince Jaehyun, the last Jeong prince of America—Holy shit, this is him? Why did I think he was a crusty old dude?”
You checked the painting again and yup, he was still hot. Which didn’t make any fucking sense.After moving the camera so Nayeon could see, you rummaged through your purse for the worn suede notebook that you brought around everywhere. On the very first page was the title that confirmed your confusion, written in your dad’s no-nonsense handwriting, Elusive Aurora: The never-ending, complicated legacy of Prince Jaehyun, the final Jeong prince of America.“Your dad is kicking you from the grave right now!” Nayeon softly scolded when she took a peek at what you were doing. “Fangirling over Prince Jae was a rite of passage in every history class I’ve taken!”You flashed her the middle finger after you made sure no sad tourist child was looking. “Some of us didn’t even make it through high school, you hoe. And I was never into my dad’s Disney princess nonsense, there’s no pictures in this thing!”To prove it, you flipped through the journal so Nayeon could see the endless lines of text written inside, with no picture proof of a dude you would’ve approached in a bar if certain circumstances were different. When you thought of your dad’s historical research, your first instinct was fat dudes in powdered wigs dying of dysentery at thirty-five, not a whole ass heartthrob. But maybe you should’ve, you know, read the journal instead of stopping on the first page with a lump of grief in your throat every time.Johnny had had enough of being excluded, “What are you ladies talking about?”“Prince Jaehyun.”“Who?”“Are you seriously this idiotic in all aspects of your life? The old school version of Prince Brian from Canada? Prince William before he became a douche? Not ringing a bell?”The man in the painting definitely had more hair than the prince of England and was hotter than your northern neighbor celebrity crush (former!) prince, that was for sure.Nayeon stood in between the two morons and shoved both of their heads in scolding, before giving you all a history lesson, “He was the last prince America had, wayyyyy back in the early seventeen hundreds. He’s been in this fucking weird-ass, like, coma, for the past three centuries. After it happened, they fought the New American War and all this shit.”The opening bullets of your dad’s outline for the first chapter in his book supported her statement, It is said that on the eve of his wedding night, the prince went for a walk on his property to enjoy the sun and open a parcel sent by the family of his betrothed. He was discovered unconscious - asleep yet not dead - by his loyal servant Marcusson. The prince has remained in the same twilight state to this day.You couldn’t believe you were actually reading this, like, your eyes were actually on the page.“Apparently, he’s still, like, breathing and stuff.” Nayeon gestured for your attention with an excited gleam in her eye. “Yo, maybe you could see him.”Honestly? You were kind of curious to see if he was still hot.“Shit, yeah. This palace must be where he lived and where his resting spot is, the portrait makes sense now.” You skimmed the blurb by the painting and skipped to some bizarre information that caught your eye, “Only the outer level of the royal chambers and the Hall of Portraits are available for viewing. Approaching the prince’s resting spot was closed in the twentieth century as many young girls were trying to kiss him. Seriously?”They were trying to kiss him? To what? Get him to wake up like Sleeping Beauty, true love’s kiss or what the fuck ever? This had to have been in the 60s when everyone and their mom was doing hard drugs.“You’re gonna kiss a corpse?” Johnny made a grossed out face when he thought about how weird it was, not quite the light envy you were hoping for.Nayeon clocked him for it in no time, “Don’t get jealous of a historical figure we’ll never meet. He is really hot for an old guy.”Goddamn, you were such a crazy bitch for thinking that being here might be worth something if it finally got Johnny to admit he got jealous while thinking of you with another guy. Even if the other guy was so old his birth certificate was written on the same kind of parchment the Constitution was. Wanting to rile Johnny up even more and see where this could lead, you leaned into this stupid flirting, “Hey, Kissing a Corpse would be a hard DJ set name. Lemme get a pic for the cover.”You puckered your glossy lips and posed in front of the portrait frame, so the camera angle made it seem like you were giving the prince a kiss on the corner of his mouth.Johnny’s entire face went red and he growled, “You’re such a bitch.”Lol. Loser.“You love me,” you preened.“Whatever, Frowny.” Your hand went to cover the wrinkle by your mouth, you hated every time he used that stupid nickname. “I don’t want to talk about this. See you tonight.”Johnny must’ve tossed the phone away in his tantrum because the video went scrambled, then you heard the audible fussing that came with him storming off. He was definitely bothered and that was definitely a point in your favor. When this shit show of a day was over, you had to figure out some way you could skip going back to Williamsburg with your stepfamily and go right to Johnny’s VBeach apartment instead. You knew you were in for one hell of a night if you did.Nayeon picked up the phone, made sure you saw her look of disapproval, then blared along in reluctant support, “Someone’s thong is up their crack, that’s definitely suspicious on the grounds of jealousy….”You got it, she hated your choice in partners and never failed to make that clear. But you hated hers, too, so you had to cook her in return, “Don’t let Hongsuck hear any legalese—”“Guards, anyone! Help! Come quick!”A whole blob of tourists came falling out of the entryway to the main chambers and every security guard that had given you shit was suddenly on alert (for real reasons, dicks.) Their screams didn’t seem to be fear-of-violence-induced, but you couldn’t help but be on edge as you strained to see through the crowd for what’d sparked the commotion. It didn’t help that the palace museum had been so stupidly quiet before this.“What the fuck was that?” Nayeon wondered as she leaned in to try and make something out through the phone screen.“No clue. I’ll call you back, Nana. ILY.”You were a nosy bitch at heart, so you had to check it out for the both of you.Sticking close to the nearest guard who had right of way through the double doors, you managed to maneuver around the tourists who were trying to get back into the holding room. The first set of doors closed and you somehow slipped past the crowd being held inside the little mud room and snuck past the second set of doors into the main bedroom. At first you were fucking blinded by the amount of bright sun that was streaming in through the wall of incredible stained glass windows. But you managed to spot a ring of guards around the massive four poster bed in the center of the room before you heard all too familiar hysterical weeping.You slipped over to your duo of companions and asked as casually as you could, “What’s going on? Why are you crying?”All the work you did on Yuna’s makeup was completely ruined due to the massive tear tracks running down her cheeks. She clung onto your arm and what came out of her mouth was an unhelpful, massive whine, “Sis…”What the hell did that mean?Holding in a deep sigh of frustration, you patted her head over the meticulous curls you created and soothed her freakout, “There, there…”Only to get ripped out of her arms by your extremely pissed-off stepmother Jessica, which was saying something for her, “Where were you this whole time?! How dare you not be here to shield Yuna?”“What happened?!”Did the prince come back to life and spit on her and then go back to sleep?! Because how the fuck were you supposed to help when you DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON?!Yuna’s nails dug into your arm as she stared at the front of the room and breathed out a whole lot of nonsense, “I was at the thing, that thing, up there with him and the photographer saw something and then… and then…”“Then what? Speak English!” Despite your demand, Yuna continued to not make words, so you glared right at the quivering man who she’d implicated in her statement.Xiaojun was paid to keep his mouth shut and take pictures, since she couldn’t handle any form of constructive criticism about how she looked that didn't come from you. But now he needed to open his goddamn mouth.“He moved. He moved, he moved,” he whispered.What the fuck?Your head snapped back to the four poster bed and the view was now blockaded by a second ring of guards. You were just fucking around when you had the thought about the prince coming back to life. He didn’t actually come back to life… right?“Out of my way!”A blonde man came sprinting out of the private side hallway that was attached to the mud room. He physically pushed through the guards who were in his way and the rest of them parted to give him room to sprint up to the side of the bed. Through the small spaces separating their big ass hats, you were able to see him bend over the mattress and crow at the top of his lungs, “Your highness, can you hear me?”For an intense moment, still silence that radiated through the room to the point where you worried you might get kicked out if you even tried to breathe.Then, an insanely deep, crackled voice floated through the air, “Why, in our lord’s good name, have you decided to yell in my ear to wake me, Marcusson? And whatever happened to your hair?”The man held a hand to his blonde tresses as he stepped back in surprise, before obvious hesitation emerged in his response, “It’s… Mark. My name is Mark.”“I have known your name since I was fifteen years of age, do not begin to jest with me. I will trample you with our horses as I always do.” There were many swirling layers to the response - outright haughtiness, tart teasing, the strange way of phrasing sentences that was no longer the way anyone spoke.You checked your purse to make sure you hadn’t accidentally taken the edible you brought and were hallucinating this, but all that was in there were makeup pallets, your dad’s notebook, and the folded-up dress you carried everywhere. This was real? You weren’t high as fuck? You were really hearing the prince’s voice and it wasn’t just part of a museum display?Mark covered his mouth with his hand for a shocked moment, before shouting at the guards, “Call the doctor, he remembers!—”Before any of the guards could move, the entire room detonated in a rattling gasp and all of a sudden you were watching the prince sway with uncertainty where he’d sat up in a flash. He blinked so hard you could feel the ache, then through the fringe of his dark hair, the solemn eyes that had captivated you in that hallway portrait locked directly onto yours.And Prince Jaehyun - the last prince of America, who had spent almost three hundred years in a coma - said in confusion, “Why are there so many people milling about in my bedchamber?”

[1:27 pm] you to nananana BATMAN: you are NOT going to believe what just happened lmfaooo

—
“I can’t see him! I can’t see him!”“Open your fucking eyes,” you muttered under your breath to a freaked-out Yuna, before you used your actual cheerful service tone, “He’s right there! Don’t worry!”The guards had escorted the prince out from this stupidly public area and into the nearest private room that Mark person emerged from - which was as far as the prince could walk without falling over. The door was half-closed in forgotten hurry, so anyone could see if they squinted hard enough that the doctors were continuing to run their fucking hours of medical tests on him.And when you said hours, you meant it. You were fucking hungry.Yuna clasped her hands over her heart and fretted like this was the greatest tragedy in the goddamn world, “Is he okay? Oh, I so hope he’s okay.”“Dude’s gonna find out his whole family is dead, you dumbass…”Even if by some chance the prince’s organs hadn’t withered away into little ass gumdrops, how the hell would he be cool knowing everyone he ever loved or cared for had been in the ground for ages? And that all he might be left with were the watered-down great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great (you couldn’t do math, whatever) grandchildren he might’ve created. Because he must’ve been married or whatever, looking like that.Jessica glared at you after she picked up on the sullen energy you'd purposefully tried to keep on the down-low, “What did you say?”“Nothing. I’m sure he’s fine, there, there.” You once again patted Yuna’s hair, the most manicured pet you could have, before you nudged her purse with your knee. “Do you need a happy pill?”It was certifiably insane you had to refer to your stepsister's wellness and beauty vitamins like that, but those were your orders. You couldn’t affect her mood by drawing any negative attention to things going on in the world or in her life, but at least you'd learned what the hell the placebo effect was.As she reached for her pink pill carrier - you had no goddamn idea what a feminine blend of Vitamins C and D would do for her, but you weren’t a doctor - you turned to Jessica and muttered, “Why can’t we leave again? Xiaojun got to leave, I don’t get it.”He walked right on out of there, frolicked even, yet the guards blocked your path every time you even got close to the door. The three of you were the only people in here that weren’t museum workers!“Could you please be quiet, the atmosphere here needs to be positive for the sake of our prince,” Jessica hissed back.When did your conservative ass stepmother become a royal family groupie? She hated almost everything your dad did, to the point that he quickly learned to never share any of his research with her. Your dad had a professor friend that he would keep those conversations to and would only ever mention his work at home whenever your late step-grandfather, the former president of the College of William & Mary, was around.“Then I think that means I should leave, good luck with his royal majesty.”“You are not done with your duties here.”“They said no pictures, so… I think I’m kinda useless. Unless you’re going to pay me overtime?” You weren’t scared to confront her like this, you were almost thirty goddamn years old and not the teenager you used to be. When Jessica fought against every instinct of hers to agree just so you could babysit her daughter instead, you rolled your eyes, never expecting anything considerate from her. “That’s what I thought. Goodbye.”If you managed to sneak out now, you could catch the bus and get to VBeach just in time to make the start of Johnny’s set at No Club Tougher - which was perfect timing since you didn’t give a shit about Hongseok opening for him. He was such a horribly bad DJ it was an insult to DJs.But you were literal steps from escaping when that god-awful head of blonde hair appeared in your vision, followed by an equally god-awful voice, “Wherever are you going?”“To take a piss?” Better for you to be as inappropriate as you could so that these people hurried you out ASAP.That wasn’t even the worst of what you could’ve said, but Mark winced like you’d cursed every single one of his ancestors. He got it together to deny you, “You cannot leave.”You crossed your arms, which had his eyes flicking all over your tattoos, but you were happy to fight with him, “Do you want me to pee on your floor? I’ll pee.”This wasn’t the time to get testy.“I commend you for your barking display, but I sincerely doubt you would ever bite.” Why did he speak like such an asshole? He was clearly your age, knew what hair dye was, and hadn’t been in a coma for the last three hundred years. The uppity tone was so fucking annoying.“Would you like to find out?” you laughed.“Are you… are you propositioning me?!”Mark wasn’t flirting with you, he was appalled to the point of near hysteria. You couldn’t help but let out another cackle as you sarcastically picked him apart, “Guys with sticks up their asses aren’t my thing. Or they might be... if you’d get a move on and tell us what the fuck is up so I can then leave, Marky Mark.”Honestly, if fucking him was the only way to get out of this insane day you were stuck in, you’d do it. Maybe it’d help your case with Johnny.He reached deep into a well of self-restraint you lacked and gave you the same customer service smile you could feel aching beneath your cheeks. “Sit here, wait. If you actually need the restroom, then you may leave with an escort.”You needed to find a bottle of water as fast as you fucking could.

[5:45 pm] nananana BATMAN: are u gonna tell me or what lmfao
[5:45 pm] nananana BATMAN: also when r u getting here, im ready to get SLOSHED
[5:46 pm] you: yeah so about that
[5:46 pm] you: probably not gonna make it home bc the P—

The phone was snatched out of your hand before you could finish typing that message, and you looked over to see Mark holding it up as high as he could so that you couldn’t grab it.You were actually pissed off now. “Are you fucking serious? The way you’re acting is against my constitutional rights.”They said no phones or pictures in order to protect the prince’s privacy, but how was that legal! You needed Nayeon to get up here so she could lawyer-ify this hoe on your behalf.Mark didn’t take the bait beyond jabbing back at you, “Which one?”“Cruel and unusual punishment.” That was all you knew in regards to the Constitution, since that was what you used against your dad to get out of chores.Mark gave you the phone back without more scolding and you relished the victory for one second before you realized he only did so because he had better things to do. The doctors had come out of the side room and were now gathered at the head of the room to address the museum staff and the… three of you. You could’ve sworn there were more people when this started, why did they all get to leave?“I would like to inform you that his royal highness the prince has passed his medical tests and has chosen to rest for the time being!” The lead doctor announced it like he wanted the whole country to hear, which struck up a storm of delighted clapping that you chose to not take part in.You expected the doctors to incite some more hoopla or at least continue on with further details of whether this dude’s brain was cooked or not, but then… they left!!! They walked right out the goddamn door!So you raised your hand and asked whoever would listen, “Can we go home now? Fucking please?”Mark shook his head to shut you up and took his spot in the center of the room to pick up the open thread the doctors left, “My name is Marcus Lee the Sixth, Head Chancellor of the royal family and associate Secretary for the Department of Royal Preservation. I suppose you may have noticed that we asked the duo of young ladies present in the room at the time of the prince’s awakening to remain—”“Sexist!”Everyone turned to look at you after your outburst, but you weren’t being a pain in the ass on purpose. It was sexist to keep you from having a banger of a night just because you were a woman! And what did that have to do with what happened anyways?????????“One of you may have played a hand in restoring the gift of life back to our beloved prince.”That latest tidbit from Mark was crossing the line into unhinged conspiracy theory territory.A disbelieving laugh started to curl in your throat, but you bit it back when you glanced around the room and every museum staffer was eating up Mark’s monologue. You honestly wished you were sitting next to Yuna just so you could see her awestruck expression, that would be amused fuel to get you through your most depressing days in the future.“How? Some cocaine?” you laughed to yourself, thinking your joke was so hilarious.And you had to check your purse one more time to make sure you hadn’t brought anything—“The power of true love holds a great deal of strength.”You shot a snide glance at the staffer next to you and recognized her as the same girl who’d almost killed you in the hallway drive-by. Then you laughed right in her face instead of attempting to be polite, because seriously? You believed that true love had as much strength as a square of toilet paper under an elephant’s asshole.“The power of true love?! We’ve never met before!” you scoffed, before pointedly raising your voice when you thought of something else, “Also… homophobic!”How could these royal workers be so sure the prince didn’t have his eye on another prince? Who knew what kind of freaky, hot shit went on back in the day? You were all for it, especially if it got you out of here.“Quiet!” Mark had had enough of your bullshit, which was good - the angrier he got, the closer you were to your goal. He took a deep, deep breath to compose himself and continued on with his pressing matters, “In sum, one of the young ladies present may have been responsible for this miracle and we will have to take that into consideration as we select the next princess of this country.”That rustled up appropriate hoopla and not just in the room, you were sure every girl in a ten mile radius of the palace museum dropped their goddamn panties at the news.A princess? Shut the fuck up.You checked to see if the worker girl was also sensing the vibe was off, but she was only staring at the crack in the side room's door. Once you spotted the same silver and green J sigil pin on her maroon frock, you realized she must be associated with the palace and wondered, “Do you come here a lot? Are you believing this?”“I am here all the time, I do not leave,” she answered as she continued to stare towards where the prince was resting. “This is not a farce.”“But the true love thing? It has to be the Walt Disney in a cryo vault thing instead, right?”“True love possesses powers we simply cannot understand.”Sure, you couldn’t understand how the hell a man was able to fall asleep and stay asleep for three centuries and wake up perfectly fine. But him doing so because either you or Yuna loved him sounded like, once again, some sort of drug-induced psychosis.“Shit, I’d pretend I was in true love just for the bed.” It was gorgeous and huge, covered in a gold bedspread with fine silks hanging from the four posters, and the mattress was so thick you could feel the ache in your back from the ghosts of shitty beds past. “I’m sick of a twin, it’s all I’ve ever had. What do you think, do I have a shot?”You held your head up in the mimicry of a princess and it almost hurt your stomach to hold in your laugh at the thought of your dark makeup and line of ear piercings in one of those royal portraits in the hallway. Not to mention the insane headache you’d give the painter who had to recreate all your tattoos.But the girl looked at you for a moment that felt oddly strange, then said in a quiet voice, “More than you would assume—”“Sis!”Fucking ugh, you were once again being summoned like a dog.You shot a frustrated smile at your weird new buddy and hoped she picked up on your annoyed eyebrow raise (talking to her wasn’t as bad as what awaited you, who knew!) and went over to deal with your stepsister. The entire walk over to where Yuna was sitting was comprised of an internal pep talk to go along with whatever insane thing you knew was going to come out of her mouth.Which was a very enthusiastic, “Tell them it was me!”“Sorry?” You had no idea what the hell she was on.“It was me, I was the one who touched his bedpost last,” Yuna’s clarification had literal cartoon character hearts brewing in her eyes. “It had to be me, I’m his true love, not you.”“I’m sorry, are you actually believing this bullshit?” Not as elegant as a response as you crafted in your mental pep talk, but come on. She couldn’t be serious and she couldn’t be concerned that she was in competition with you.You ignored how hard Jessica bristled at your attitude and were instead met with Yuna blushing and giggling like the answer should’ve been obvious, “How else would he have woken up, hmm?”A change in the atmosphere pressure? Breathing in air that didn’t have tuberculosis attached to every molecule? A fucking TempurPedic pillow? You didn’t know, all of that seemed far more likely than whatever the hell the power of true love was.“The only answer is that he felt my shining presence beside him and experienced my love through space and time.” She sang the last word in her sentence and flashed her pageant-trained smile before she curtsied like she was born to do so. You had to hand it to her, she definitely gave princess more than anyone else in the room... AKA you.You hid under a subtle layer of cynicism, “Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. I’m sure you’re right!” “That is right, my darling girl.” Jessica must’ve seen right through it because she kissed Yuna on the forehead, then glared so hard you had wounds in your skull from her eyeballs. “Go do what she asked.”“Yes, madam.”As long as you weren’t the one who needed to shine your presence beside the prince, you were fucking cool with doing whatever she wanted.You waved over to where Mark was discussing something with the assembled guards and he pointedly looked away when you made eye contact. Which meant you had no choice but to embarrass him by calling at the top of your lungs, “Excuse me! Excuse me, man with the extremely bizarre rash! Over here!”His cheeks went red at the random lie, which made him indeed look like he had a rash when the nosy palace workers decided to look his way. He ended up storming over to confront you on his own - great for you, since you couldn’t be assed to put in effort - and was almost irate by the time he was within earshot, “My name is Mark, I would appreciate it if you addressed me as such!”“Alright, Matt,” you responded coolly. “I would like to inform you that my step—”“Ahem.”Wow, everyone was trying to be on your last fucking nerve today. This man was a stranger and Jessica still wanted to hide the fact that you were technically family through the ties of marriage? Jesus, you needed to hit a blunt ASAP.You gestured towards Yuna with the brightest smile your facial muscles could conjure up and made the appropriate omission, “I saw that this lovely lady here was the one who was in contact with the lovely frame of his majesty—”“His highness.” When Mark’s correction fell on deaf ears and you made no indication you got what the fuck he was talking about, he sighed and explained, “He is not a king, only a prince. The correct term is your highness, his highness, his royal highness.”“I would like to be fucking high right now,” you muttered.His eyes narrowed with distaste. “What did you say?”You literally forced your face into a ridiculous position of fake happiness, that hurt more than the seagull tattoos you got behind your ear, and played along with his properness, “She was the one who was touching his highness’s bed frame right before he woke up.”If he was going to be an asshole, so were you.“Thank you for imparting that information,” Mark responded with restraint.Yuna grasped Mark’s arm and turned her fluttery, lovesick eyes his direction. “What does that mean? Do I win? Can I marry him—”You pulled Mark away so you could have this conversation in private. He fussed like a fucking baby until you were away from those two morons and you didn’t feel an ounce of fear confronting him, “In exchange for that fucking huge piece of information, I’m asking you politely, will you let me out of here? I’m telling you, I wasn’t even in the room when he woke up. I was on the phone out by the portraits, so it has to be her. Not me.”Unless the strength of true love was more powerful than a wifi connection, the prince surely didn’t feel your anti-shining presence from two rooms away.He shook his head and almost relished denying you, “I cannot.”“This feels fucking illegal, Matty.”“It’s Mark.” He knew you were fucking it up on purpose, his customer service smile had so much smugness hidden under it you knew you were cooked, “I hope you aren’t too inconvenienced by the extremely luxurious chairs we’ve provided for you to wait in.”He gestured to the seats the guards were bringing out, covered in the same silk and thick cushions as the prince’s bed was. On cue, you could feel the ache in your legs burn after standing in these uncomfortably flat sneakers all day.“Can I take one home at least, Max?!” you called after him as he turned on his heel and walked away, waving over his head in a mockery of what you just did to him. “Mark?!”Fucking asshole.With your metaphorical tail stuck between the hem of your miniskirt, you made your way back over to your companions and Yuna instantly pounced for answers, “What did he say?”“They asked us to wait, but I’m sure they’ll pick you soon,” you lied through your teeth.You weren’t allowed to make her unhappy under any circumstances.“Patience is a virtue that not everyone has the blessing of. You do, my dear daughter, which is why you’ll make the perfect princess,” Jessica sighed in satisfaction as she sized up her daughter - you could see the literal dollar signs and jeweled crowns glittering in her eyes, and not just the pageant ones.“Tooootally,” you echoed.Better her than you.

—

Nayeon had been laughing her ass off since the second you were free to call her and couldn’t bring herself to stop, “I cannot fucking believe the day you go to the palace is the day the prince wakes up.” Or wouldn’t bring herself to stop, she was the kind of best friend who delighted in your silly miseries. Only the silly ones.“Can you not say the P word again? They told me not to tell you,” you grumbled as you checked the ceiling of your room for a security cam. “It feels like they’re listening to me.”You couldn’t discount the ghost of George Washington coming by to spy on you based on every other insane thing that’d happened since you’d been here.“It’s all over the news already after someone, three guesses who, leaked it. You can’t get in trouble legally now.”It figured that the second you were separated into your own room and kept from controlling Yuna’s personal Instagram that she would blab the news of the prince waking up to the one million people that followed her. You hoped that annoying Mark creature didn’t think you had anything to do with it.“We didn’t ask for a law school lesson, you nerd,” Hongseok huffed.You caught the flashing sour look that he cast Nayeon’s way at the mere mention of the word legal and took action by changing the camera angle for attention. “Never mind. Look at this bed the prince’s loser sidekick gave me.”When they finally shuffled you out of the prince’s bedchambers, you discovered it was because they expected you to stay overnight at the palace while they sorted their issues out. The palace staff gave out individual rooms, not knowing that you were related to the other two, and you weren’t exactly in a hurry to correct them otherwise.And it wasn’t just any old room, this was a huge fucking space that could fit three of the apartment you shared with Nayeon inside, complete with sitting room, bathroom, and walk-in closet. It was topped off by the bed you hadn’t left in hours, framed by wispy sage curtains and holding a mattress just as luxurious as you imagined. The blue dress hanging up in your otherwise empty closet was the only thing that made it feel like home.Nayeon marveled over your princess-adjacent living quarters, “You have officially pulled yourself up by your bootstraps from destitute to just poor. Congrats, bitch.”You loved her for never making your differing financial statuses a big deal. She could afford a decent apartment but gave you a discount on the rent at your tiny place just so you could have a place to escape to on your rare off days. And she never complained.Johnny stole the phone to pester you with the same question he’d been asking for the past fifteen minutes, “You’re really telling me they’re keeping you there?”“Yup.” You were past the pointing of fighting it, unfortunately, the bed felt too good. “I can’t complain, I’m quarantined from Head Bitch and Dumbass and can put the blame on the government if I don’t do what they ask.”They’d been calling and texting you out the wazoo since you were shown to your rooms but you didn’t respond to any of it. You figured you’d just claim the palace was so old and your phone was so shitty you had no phone service and hope they were dumb enough to believe that.“I’m sure she’s fucking dying hwile trying to pick out what dress she’s going to wear for the engagement,” Johnny joked.All four of you laughed your asses off when you shared your screen so they could see Yuna's latest message.

[8:59 pm] the sister: where’s my toothbrush?!?!?!?!?! Where are you?!?!?!

She couldn’t pick out her own name without you there to do it for her.Nayeon elbowed Johnny and used a fake accent when she reminded him, “She did apparently touch his bed before he woke up.”“She’s his fated fuckbuddy, not his true love. Blue almost broke my bed the first night we met,” Johnny drawled with a waggle of his eyebrows.He wasn’t wrong. If the fate of your relationship was determined by your first meeting, it made sense that you could never keep your hands off each other now.“There’s no way he’s going to pick her, right?”That was the fucking question of the hour.You reached for your dad’s journal on the bed beside you, to read them a passage from the opening pages you’d skimmed through, “It has been documented that the prince was a kind and benevolent person who was deeply involved with bettering the lives of the peasant folk.”They snorted away, smart enough to realize what you were implying. Even with three hundred years of cloudiness in his brain, there was no way the prince would look at Yuna and think she was a suitable wife, right? Or was the true love thing really blinding?Anyways, you turned your puppy eyes Johnny’s way and queued up the silly flirting, “I’m really sorry I’m gonna miss your set.”Camera angle now switched to where your cleavage was spilling out of your tiny tank top, you knew you had him when his eyes couldn’t peel away. “Fuck off for a second, will you?” He tried to shove both Hongseok and Nayeon out of the frame so they couldn’t see the show you were giving him. “Need to talk to my girl alone.”“Oh, your girl?” Nayeon goaded him on, knowing exactly what you wanted.He dug at her most sensitive spot, “Go read a law book.”“Don’t be an asshole,” you warned Johnny, before you sent Nayeon a flying kiss through the phone. “Love you. Muah.”They disappeared to go get ready for a night out you wished you could experience and you were left there with your not-boyfriend person. You really just wanted to hug and cuddle Johnny, this bed was so lonely with no one else in it.You stared at each other for a second through the screen, before you waited him out into cracking first, “What the fuck is going on here, Blue? Are you… are you really?”He couldn’t finish the end of his sentence and something about him getting caught up in a display of emotion - something he wouldn’t ever do - had you being honest with your emotions in return, “I don’t know… they’re being very aggressive about this for no reason. I might wake up tomorrow with glass slippers.”The joke was to lighten the mood, but Johnny didn’t appreciate it at all, “Come on, be fucking serious.”“I’m happy with what I have. Besides. Do you think they would even seriously consider me for a second?”Not because of your appearance… well, because of your appearance and attitude and everything about who you were for sure. But were they really going to force someone who had no desire to change any of that to change it all for a stranger? You weren’t lying when you said you couldn’t care less about being a princess. You just wanted to go back to VBeach and party, you definitely couldn’t do that while wearing a crown.“You’re hot.” Johnny worried over you like the prince was going to be overcome by your great tits and tiny outfits and pick you without thinking.“That’s not exactly what they’re looking for,” you reassured him, before you stole a +1 personal advantage. “What, are you jealous or something?”All you wanted was for Johnny to say yes and make your relationship official. That was it, not hard.He bit his lip then grunted, “No.”“You’re fucking into me. You can’t help it, you love me soooo much.” You had to tease him like this to cover up your massive insecurities roaring. Even if Johnny was showing signs he was bothered by the chance someone else could steal you away, it still hurt to think he was fine floating in this transient relationship year after year.“I’m hanging up on you. Can’t wait until your hot little self is back in my bed, Frowny.” Johnny winked at you and pursed his lips in a dirty kiss that was his signature goodbye, not forgetting to make fun of the tiny wrinkle you got when you frowned.He always had to get the last word in, ugh. Him being a massive dick in more ways than one was such a big problem.You glanced out the stained glass window over your dresser and couldn’t see anything due to the night’s blinding darkness. Not being able to make out a single thing outside your room made your hidden anxiety crush into your skull, so much so you found yourself getting out of the bed you wanted to disappear into. With your phone and your dad’s notebook clutched in your hands, you tiptoed to the door. Once you checked that the hallway was empty, you snuck out of your room.There wasn’t a lot of museum staff still in the wing they’d closed off to the public - apparently Mark was the only government employee that was required to pester you after hours - but there were the scores of modern-day police officers now patrolling the area. They were being way too fucking serious about this, what danger was the prince in? What could a group of girls possibly do? Kiss him to death? Again?You wandered freely by the men, not afraid or worried, and the Arlington police gave you the same kind of shady side-eye the VBeach and Williamsburg police both were quite familiar with.It wasn’t until you got to your actual destination, guarded by a man wearing the same silver sigil all the employees did, that you were stopped from going any further, “Halt. Where are you going, my lady?”“I…. thought it might be cool to educate myself on the rich history of this palace.” You didn’t have a real reason to be out other than to calm your anxiety, but that didn’t feel like something you could admit to.“Hall of Portraits is ahead,” he answered without breaking decorum.“What about to the… garden?” No answer, not even a breath. “Hello?”“Have a pleasant evening.”He must’ve thought you were trying to escape, but you weren’t. Not like that. You needed some mental peace in order to rustle up the proper shenanigans to escape from here.You walked into the Hall of Portraits with your middle finger pressed into your thigh so you’d be satisfied but he wouldn’t see and kick you out. Beelining straight to the portrait of the prince you’d been stuck on before, your eyes snagged on the painting next to it that you’d missed - the portrait of the prince on his official first day or whatever, where he was wearing a huge, white powdered wig under his massive crown. Fucking hilarious.The longer you stared, the more you were drawn to the outline of his eyes, bringing about a creepily strong flashback of the prince staring right at you the second he sat up. His real-life eyes were the exact same as they were in all of his portraits, dark and shiny with a strange level of emotional depth, which was oddly comforting. And you couldn’t deny that he was still hot with the dumbass wig on, which meant he was an otherworldly level of hot that mere mortals couldn’t handle. It was like… the historical version of your crush getting a haircut, but in reverse.You opened the diary and skimmed over the point where you stopped reading to Nayeon over the phone,

The New American War broke out following the induction of his coma. The unattended government could not decide between continuing the prince’s positive relationship between the royal family and the working class or developing in the independent, democratic direction that they imagined.

Sure, the New American War was the reason why America was the way it was today.But it was hard to care about the details of that historical bullshit, not when you saw that the bullet was co-signed by your dad’s old colleague and close friend, Professor Song. The memories of the two of them gabbing endlessly in a lecture hall as you hung out and doodled makeup ideas hit you with a force you weren’t expecting.“Dada, you are not going to believe what the fuck I’m doing right now,” you whisper-laughed as your fingers brushed over the pages.He would’ve died - not as literally as he did - to have been here right now.A call from the entryway startled you out of your moment, “Who are you talking to?”This time you actually flashed the guard the middle finger, fast enough that you hoped he didn’t see it. “Mind your fucking business.”“Mind the language you use in this venerated place,” he sneered back, which… at least he didn’t reference your rude gestures as well.Back to the notebook to pretend you were serious person interested in serious things. You felt like you could vividly remember your dad writing this despite never being interested in any of his work. His handwriting was so neat and sturdy in line after line and almost every page corner was punctuated with a little drawing of a blue whale, that made the whale tattoo marked up the length of your spine burn.

There might not be a bigger what-if figure in the history of our country. Our modern-day government was born off the back of his unfortunate circumstances and we all know how much that is both a blessing and a shit show.

That was certainly not wrong.

It is hard to picture where America would be with a royal family that ruled beyond symbolism or a true constitutional monarchy, but these ideas? Equal distribution of wealth? Some form of basic healthcare for anyone who wanted it? A prominent place in society for women? Those would have been a conservative NIGHTMARE.

More on his financial platform, page 45, more on his social platform, page 67, more on his role in post-colonialism, page 81. Information of a personal nature, page 27.

You couldn’t help but skip to the personal pages to get the lewd gossip that you and Nayeon were nosy about. It wasn’t like you had to be concerned about the prince's political stance, he wasn’t going to be making any of those decisions anymore considering he was basically a rich person mascot—

The prince had numerous women he was alleged to be involved with. I have tried to trace the origin of most of these relationships but at some point they became too numerous to count.

Oh god, what the fuck?

Visiting foreign dignitaries, other ladies at court, even the passing peasant or two, I have discovered many recorded stories of encounters with the prince… ‘those’ types of encounters. Though, perhaps miraculously, there was never any record of offspring that followed.

Holy shit. This was like… certified douchebag behavior, especially the whole making-sure-to-not-have-kids thing. You weren’t a historical genius by any means, yet it didn’t take one to recognize how the birth control options were shit back in his day.It was honestly unhinged you had to read about these sexual exploits in your dad’s handwriting but you could not stop.

It is well known he was engaged to the beautiful and intelligent Lady of the Violets, but the marriage did not happen as he fell into the coma the night before the wedding. After it became clear the prince would not awaken, she went on to marry a different lord and had many children. I have stumbled upon a story claiming that prior to the wedding, the good lady’s sister put a curse* on the prince so that the Lady of the Violets would not be doomed to a loveless marriage punctuated with these affairs.

*Of course, this has no root or proof within history… or reality if we’re being honest. Haha. Blue would find this funny, though. She hates boys right now.

Your jaw dropped and your shocked words fell right out of it, “This man is a historical fuckboy.”“Please watch your language!” the guard screamed from the end of the hallway.“Sorry,” you muttered.But you weren’t fucking sorry. You were too preoccupied with Google, even though you trusted your dad’s expertise more than any website you could find.

Prince Jaehyun women

That choice of words was a mistake on your part, because every article that popped up was about his infuriatingly inappropriate political stance on women’s rights in colonial times. He was known to be an early proponent of equality for women in society, as he allowed them to own farms and manage money of their own. Oh, fuck off. You were annoyed that you had to read articles fawning over this loser.

Prince Jaehyun ladies that he dated

At the last second, you changed it from fucked to dated to help your case. And… nothing new came up, just the same information that your father had regarding the Lady of the Violets person and their engagement.You tried one last time, phrasing it so the query wouldn’t sound out of place three hundred years ago:

Prince Jaehyun sexual lasciviousness

No articles were found. Try a different query.

Holy shit.You had no proof and no dad to back you up, but you were sure the royal family’s handlers - Mark plus whatever government agency had been in charge of curating the Jeong legacy through the years - wiped this off the internet to save his reputation. Why wouldn’t it have come up in a single article otherwise?The guard didn’t bother shouting to control you, he just laid down the law with authority, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you cannot control yourself.”“Sorry, I’m… going.”A fuckboy was a fuckboy, there was nothing you could do to change that definition. You wouldn’t’ve been as bothered to find out the princely prince was not who people thought he was… if Johnny hadn’t been acting the way he'd been lately. Or if every guy in your social circle wasn’t a fuckboy or a reformed version of one. What you hated the most was people pretending they were something they weren’t.You were almost out of the hall when you stopped for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint and checked out the last portrait. The painting was of this gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous woman, wearing a royal blue gown the same shade as your silk pajama onesie. She was not smiling all the way, as if she was deeply hurt by something but was trying to cover it up. But her odd expression wasn’t why you felt strange goosebumps prickling against the back of your neck.It was because she looked like you. You know, if everything about you was stripped away and you were rebuilt in the mold of an elegant lady from colonial times instead. But staring at her face was so fucking weird, her features were straight out of a time warp mirror…“You certainly bear a strong resemblance to her.”Fright exploded out of your lungs, “What the fuck!"The prince was there, standing quietly in the entryway to the Hall of Portraits with Mark loitering a few feet behind him. He looked tired and pale, but very much alive, wrapped up in his old school burgundy dressing robe and fur slippers.“Please, I look better,” you scoffed.You hoped his miraculous recovery didn’t give him mind reading powers to discover you’d just been thinking the opposite.“I would have to spend an excess of passed time observing you to confirm that.” When he finished speaking, the corner of his mouth turned up and pressed a visible, deep dimple into the side of his cheek…Uh oh.Loud ass alarm bells were going off at the borders of the lusty part of your brain.You crossed your arms over your chest because you knew how low cut this pajama set was and his eyes were not shy about dipping towards the wildflower inked on your sternum. Then you dug into your resistance, “Fuckboyery doesn’t work on me.”A matching dimple flicked to life on the other side of his smile. “Pardon me?”You swallowed nervously. “Never mind. Who is she?”All you needed was hear from his own mouth that he fucked this girl and ghosted her before he temporarily died and this weird haze of attraction would die, too.“The Lady of the Violets. Who I will—who I was supposed to enter into a marriage with.”The prince stared at her portrait with his handsome features twisted such a strange expression. You decided not to make a comment about how she was better off resting in peace with her non-prince husband and their generations of children in the family mausoleum than being here with king fuckboy.And ugh, you looked like his almost-wife that he kept cheating on? Weird.You decided to take this moment to do some digging in hopes of an escape plan, “Who are you getting married to now?”It was hard to stay focused whenever he stared at you with those dark eyes, even more so when his satisfied smirk appeared as a lead-in to his question, “Do you possess some secretive information you wish to impart onto me?”What? Was he implying that you were interested and trying to tell him that? You snapped your fingers at Mark then gestured to the prince, before fake concern and caustic sarcasm raced to paint your words, “Can we get this man some vaccines or something? He’s gone crazy.”He couldn’t possibly be flirting with you, that had to be some leftover scarlet fever or whatever.“What is a vaccine? Is that some particular instance of drink?” the prince wondered, smirk deepening. “I would not mind sharing a drink with you.”Mark’s eyes closed in frustration that you were continuing to stir up hell for him, then politely muttered the new information as you were sure he’d been doing, “A vaccine is one of the medical treatments you’re scheduled for, your highness.”“And FYI… for your information, I have no interest in sharing a drink with you unless it’s bougie champagne delivered right to my room that I drink alone.” That was a boundary for him and a reminder for you, that this guy wasn’t just one of the guys that you’d hook up with whenever you and Johnny were ‘off.’ There were too many consequences here for you to be tempted by a one and done fling, many of them too harsh for you to even want to think about.But that egged the prince on even further, he was on a mission, “What would you share with me, then?”“Absolutely nothing.” That denial didn’t feel like enough, because he was still staring at you in that captivating way, so you threw on a detail that you hoped would help, “I vote in every election, by the way.”That was your elegant way of saying fuck the royal family. Lol.The prince looked at Mark in confusion again, who clarified, “As we mentioned briefly… The role of the royal family has evolved in the modern day to a figurehead role standing alongside the presence of the elected government. Some individuals feel strong patriotism in the opposite direction.”You actually couldn’t remember the last time you were sober enough to make it to an Election Day, but you had to try every way to get out of this possible.That only seemed to excite the prince more, since his face melted from arrogant smirk into a smile, curiously thrilled by this discovery, “A political woman? This is what I had waiting for me after my little kip?”God, you fucked up. You forgot that he was an advocate for advancing the strong colonial woman or whatever.You pivoted as fast as you could when you saw the gleam in his eyes, “Not at all. Hate that shit.”“Then what are you?”“None of your business.”Just because he was a rich royal didn’t mean you owed him anything. The shock that billowed into the prince's features definitely meant that none of the women he let own farms in exchange for an exposed ankle had ever talked back to him about it. He had to be careful, your backtalk was definitely not unique in this day and age.“May I at least learn your name before you seek to form opinions about me?” he wondered firmly.You couldn’t decide at first if his persistence was hot or annoying, and the conclusion that it was both was a huge problem. You didn’t want him to know any fucking thing about you.“The opinions are already formed. And I’m sure you have enough power and money to figure out information you want on your own.” You knocked your knees in a stupid curtsy like you’d seen in movies to end this conversation before it got out of hand. “Goodnight, your highness.”You hated all forms of physical exercise except dancing on a table at a club... yet you ran as fast as you could back to your room so you could hide from the prince-inspired strangeness that had suddenly surrounded you in this place. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Everything in the palace was so over the top that even the knock on your door in the morning felt like a curated symphony.You were not in the mood for it and made it known, “What the fuck do you want?!”A serene voice called from outside the door, “My lady, it is time to get up for the welcome brunch.”A bad shiver went down your spine at every word in that sentence. Especially lady, get, up, and brunch. “No!”“I am entering.”You hid under the covers, rolled over onto your pillow, and hollered into the stupidly nice silk, “No! I wasn’t the one who kissed him, I wasn’t in the room, end of story, goodbye!”Unless this brunch was to announce that Yuna was the new Princess of America, you wanted nothing to do with it. And if the reason you had to show up to these fucking lame ass events was because that rat bastard told the maids you had an encounter late at night, you were going to send him into another three-hundred-year coma.“Circumstances have evolved,” she said.Damn, everyone in the palace was persistent as fuck.But so were you, “If the circumstances aren’t that I can leave as soon as you open that door again, I don’t want to hear it—" The covers were rudely pulled off your body, leaving you a shivering mess. When you flopped back over to rain hell on whoever it was, you were met with the innocent face of the female employee from the day before and the apologies spilled from you right away, “Oh, what? Sorry, I didn’t realize it was you. Sorry, sorry… I’m not usually this big of an asshole to people in service jobs.” Your need to fight deflated so fast when you noticed she was next to you in the same position that you usually took next to Yuna, a fucking bizarre reversal. “I’m y/n, but you probably know that. Please don’t call me—”She bowed her head in way more respectful greeting than you deserved. “It is nice to meet you, my lady.”The end of your sentence awkwardly fell out over hers, “My lady. Ugh.”You were used to Nayeon calling you bitch, slut, and whore (affectionate), this did not sit right with you.“I did not introduce myself properly yesterday. I am Solar, I have this dress for you to wear.” She held up this beautiful pink tea party dress, made out of lace so delicate it was like a fairytale fairy spun it herself. “You must be dressed in an appropriate manner.”Lol. Lol, lol.Sure, your pajamas were dangerously splayed everywhere, but it wasn’t like you were going to show up like this. You covered yourself up and began protesting, “Listen, I’m serious when I mean I just want to go home. I have things to do and… people to do… person, not people. A person.” You hated Johnny for being an asshole and not letting you have the get-out-of-jail card of saying that you had a boyfriend. “I don’t want this life, as much as this bed is nice.”The bed was so nice. You slept like a fucking baby last night… though you weren’t sure if that was the comfy bed or not being pestered by Yuna to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to film her pilates workouts.Solar just held out the dress without a response or a look of sympathy.The idle hope that stirred in you went out like a fucking light as you wondered, “You’re not gonna let me go home?”She shook her head. “That is for the prince to decide.”Fuck.

[8:45 am] the sister: please tell me if this looks good [img72.jpg]
[8:45 am] the sister: please please please please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apparently there were multiple people who would put your head on a spike if you tried to leave before you were allowed.You ignored Yuna’s message to stay in your bubble of solitude a little longer, but eventually you had no choice but to cave to Solar, “Fine. But I am not wearing that.”The sluttiest skirt and top you had in your overnight bag were calling to you, like you’d wither away Wicked Witch style if you didn’t take the chance to scandalize everyone. But instead, you begrudgingly put on the bodycon electric blue dress you’d brought to wear to the club last night, which was surprisingly more covered up than anything else you could’ve picked.When you stepped out of your closet to show off what you’d picked, Solar was indeed scandalized… like she’d never seen modern women’s clothing before. Didn’t every girl have one of these rags in their closet by the time they were sixteen?“I think it looks hot,” you said when she was still speechless. You didn’t even have to look in the mirror to check. It was the outfit Johnny loved to see you wear the most when he was performing - he would would always say it made you look like ‘the hottest girl in VBeach or whatever.’He wasn’t that good at coming up with compliments, lol.But Solar appeared disturbed to the point of actual distress, she couldn’t keep still as she fussed over you, “That marking is too visible, if you do not want to use a jacket, please…”Without asking, she reached out and zipped up the dress over your chest so the elongated flower tattoo on your sternum disappeared.You were oddly not mad, you were just confused by how freaked out she was by the innocent pattern, “It’s a tattoo, it isn’t going to curse you. Aren’t you my age?”She couldn’t respond, nor could she bring herself to look at any of the other tattoos the dress would definitely not cover up. It was very amusing to know that you were getting under everyone’s skin here… it made you feel a whole lot better about feeling uncomfortable in reverse. You didn’t let her fix your hair or your makeup or even suggest that you change out of your sneakers into heels. It was hard to do so without glaring or being rude, but you gave off enough don’t fuck with me energy that Solar just decided to give up and save herself the hassle by the end of it.You tried your best to be nice as you walked to whatever ballroom they were holding this fucking brunch in, “So… What were the evolved circumstances? Just weighing our chances.”Apparently the prince didn’t discriminate in his personal life, but that didn’t mean the chancellors of the royal family weren’t going to guide him in a more appropriate direction.“The standing tradition, which has gone unchanged following the hiatus of the monarchy, was that all girls of noble families must be considered as the wife to the prince," Solar answered.Wow, so Yuna didn’t actually win through the force of true love? And the old money super rich people had to be considered too? What a goddamn surprise, nothing had changed in three hundred years.The same palace guard who gave you hell last night stopped you from entering the ballroom and asked, “Just one?”Couldn’t he see the girl standing right beside you? It was classist and weird of him to ignore another palace worker that was the same level as him.You ignored his question - as he fucking deserved - walked right into the ballroom for brunch… and suddenly understood why Solar had brought you that tea party-ass dress. Because you were about to attend a real life tea party. You’d never seen so much porcelain or smelled so many expensive flower arrangements in one place before. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the fact that those tiny fucking cucumber sandwiches (yes, they existed, and looked like they'd do nothing for your hunger) had the royal crest painted onto them.A waiter almost walked right through Solar, who was carefully concluding her explanation, “These families still exist. The daughters have arrived and are considered viable candidates to be the prince’s wife.”Holy… shit.You were about to go up against true heavyweights, milling about the elaborate breakfast tables that now paled in comparison to their finery. You had to text Nayeon, she'd get a kick out of this.

[9:07 am] you: help
[9:07 am] you: im about to win first place in an im not like other girls competition
[9:09 am] nananana BATMAN: is it like miss universe central there or sth?
[9:10 am] you: YUP
[9:10 am] nananana BATMAN: lmfaoooooooooooooo are they all hot? send pics

One of them passed by and when you spotted how she had literal diamonds glued onto her manicure, stress billowed out into your whisper, “We’re fucked.”You glanced through the room and it was not hard to spot your stepsister, because her simple silver dress stood out in a bad way against the actual designer finery you never could’ve schemed to replicate. Yuna loved to pretend she was a princess, that her fifteen-years-ago pageant title meant something beyond vanity, but a place like this was designed to expose how much of a fraud that really was.Solar peered at you with curious eyes. “Whyever do you keep referring to yourself in the plural tense?”You were sure things would be simpler if you kept your goddamn mouth shut, since no one had yet realized that you and Yuna were kinda related. But somehow the truth slipped out anyways, “The girl in the silver over there is my sister. Step-sister, technically, but she is just so dumb and harmless I just… sister is fine. I don’t like talking about it.”It was honestly easier to go along with the story that you loved each other and happily coexisted than it was to make necessary clarifications.That you were more a servant than anything.That they never once considered you a family member in the ways that truly mattered.That recalling the details that led to this situation, even now, tended to kill you from the inside out if you lingered too long on them. You could joke about your dad being dead in a vacuum, but that was a very dangerous state of mind to be in.Solar’s expression shifted into a deep shade of sympathy and you looked anywhere else in the room to avoid her spiking your emotions. Which meant you almost made eye contact with the prince where he was leaning against a marble column and listening to a row of giggling girls with much interest.Suspicious.Yet another rude hoe somehow missed hitting Solar but managed to physically push by you on her way to meet up with the others. The group of them immediately began fawning over her, “Oh my god, Lady Eunbi is here.”This was a bitch who knew how to turn heads. With her dark hair chopped into the sleekest, sharpest bob, a beauty mark under her eye, and a dark, low-cut grey gown that toed the line of sex appeal and class, it was no wonder that—She turned enough for you to see her face and yikes!, the makeup was a vibe killer. Didn’t she realize this wasn’t a magazine pictorial? That shit was way too harsh, the eyebrow-eyeshadow combination had her looking like a surprised fifty-year-old no matter what expression she was making. You were curious as to why every girl present seemed to regard her to be some kind of fashion-forward god.“Do you know who that is?” you asked Solar.“She’s one of the newcomers that I mentioned.”“I just finished talking to the prince.” Lady Eunbi held their attention like she was born to be the royal commander of any room. “Not to say I’d be surprised if he didn’t pick me, but I'm way better than the girl he was supposed to marry. That’s what my father said.”That arrogant yet otherwise harmless comment was enough to provoke Solar into glaring at her as fiercely as she could. Part of you wondered why she was so bothered, but you ultimately did not give a fuck.One of the others jumped to kiss this girl’s ass, “Does that mean you’re a princess already? You def look like one!”Lady Eunbi leaned in, bold lipstick split in a cat-got-the-cream grin, and let them in on her confident little secret, “I’ll put it this way, Dawon… it’s not even a competition.”Why was there always one? There was always a bitch in the group, always.For someone that emerged straight from the womb of one, Yuna had no instinct for sniffing similar bitchiness out. All she saw was a group of shiny, popular girls sucking the atmosphere in the room their way and she had to be a part of that no matter what.Sadly, you could’ve been high out of your mind and still predicted what happened next.When Yuna was about three feet away from joining the group, Lady Eunbi glanced over her shoulder, took one look at your stepsister, and her nose wrinkled as much as the Botox allowed. Her disgusted tone made you want to claw your ears out, “Ew. Don’t come over here.”“What?” Yuna’s embarrassed face was too much for you to handle. Poor girl, she had no idea how the real world worked.Yuna was clearly no threat to their chances, yet Lady Eunbi made sure to cook her into burnt little bits, “I have no idea who you are or who your family is. Your dress isn’t even a recognizable brand, I’d be embarrassed showing up like that.”You’d be embarrassed showing up with that clown-adjacent makeup but you weren’t going to say anything… yet. You had to keep that in the arsenal for when this chick really pissed you off, because it was only a matter of time with someone like her.Putting on the performance of a lifetime, you happily waved to Yuna like you had no idea who she was and loaded the bullets of your searing response, “Come stand over here! I’m not going to bitch you out for taking up oxygen or whatever.”Lady Eunbi was so put off by you that a strand of her bob dared to fly out of place. “Excuse me?”You held out your hands in warning when she took a step forward to escalate the confrontation. “Oh, don’t get too close. You’re going to breathe in our peasant air.” She tried again and you sharply blew out your exhale to try and contaminate her. “Nuh uh! You’re consuming the low class air!”She actually stomped her foot! Stomped her goddamn foot! And turned back around to her little minions so that you wouldn’t dirty her personal bubble any further.Lmaooooooooooooooo. You had to laugh, what an absolute lunatic.Yuna was caught between grateful and mortified, she scurried over to your side and whine-scolded you, “Don’t be mean, I want to be friends with her.”Ugh, get a fucking grip.For as much as Yuna and Jessica liked to pretend that they were Williamsburg royalty and that your extremely wealthy late step-grandfather gave them a lifestyle equal to what the ladies here were flaunting, reality was… nowhere close. He left behind a missing inheritance that was nowhere to be found, neither of them worked or did anything of substance, which left you and your tips from serving bottles at No Club Tougher. And $50 here and there from the losers who stared at your tits every time you gave them Coronas did not buy very many Versace gowns.“Do you want to marry this dude, like for real?” It felt dumb to ask that question considering Yuna nodded so hard her updo went flying everywhere. You had no idea why you were always tasked with playing therapist when you were fucked up enough on your own but here you were, “Don’t make friends.”“How would you know?”“I’ve seen enough girls fighting over guys. Never ends well for the girls.”You couldn’t say that Johnny had never fucked another girl in the years you’d been caught up in this situationship thing. But it was well established at his club that if another girl tried anything with him while you were physically there, it was over for them. And you still technically weren’t his girlfriend, so… it wasn't the best ending for you either.

[9:41 am] big djohnny: sup frownyyyy

Speak of the devil.

[9:43 am] you: miss u hottie
[9:43 am] you: wanna ft later? ;) look what im wearing

You were about to undo the zipper on your dress so you could take a ‘nice’ photo when Yuna grabbed your arm to stop you. Her face was creased with worry as she glanced between the extravagant outfits and her simple one, and you knew what was coming next, “Can you help me buy some more jewelry?”She had a silver diamond earrings + necklace set on at the moment, her jewelry box had more than enough rings and bracelets and shiny pieces you didn’t even know the proper name of. But she was clearly insecure in the same way she was while competing against the seasoned pageant girls and the only fix was to throw money at it. Which meant throwing your own money. And it was not like you had the freedom to say no.“Yes. We’ll get silver to match your outfits.” If you were going to burn your cash, at least she was going to be stylish by the end of it.“Thanks! You’re always so nice to me!” she chirped.Well… you didn’t have a fucking choice.“Darling, come. I think we should go on a lap around the room—you.” Jessica seemed both surprised and pissed off that you were somehow ruining her brunch with your presence, expecting you’d snuck off in the night the way you usually did at home.You were amused that she was bothered and wanted to torture her even more, “It’s me. They wouldn’t let me leave, unfortunately. Maybe they think I’ll be the next princess.”“Your eye-catching outfit, in a bad way if I do say so, does not demonstrate the refinement necessary to be a princess.”Did she think you were being serious? Fucking idiot.“I’ll find a dressing robe to hide myself in, madam,” you responded as you curtsied again, finding that mocking gesture was the funniest possible thing that you could keep doing.The two of them went off arm in arm to mingle and you did not give them further warning that the ladies would continue to turn their noses up at them. It would be a new experience for your favorite ladies to go through together!!!!!!!!!!!Left alone in the middle of this flowered fucking monstrosity, you took a moment to scan the room for enemy #3 and didn’t see the prince anywhere. You were used to chaotic brunches like this but you couldn’t imagine any event in colonial America had this kind of overwhelming vibe, besides… the signing of the Constitution? Which he missed out on by a couple decades?Solar finally reappeared from wherever she’d escaped during that nauseating interaction, so you asked her for the tea, “How’s the prince?”She seemed more confused by your question than she should’ve been, “What?”“You work here, you’re tapped in. How is he?”It would be weird as shit to wake up three hundred years from now and know literally no one except alienoid humans that had video feeds in their brains and moved in flying cars. The dude fell asleep during a time where he had to write using a feather by candlelight and woke up now, only to be thrown into the biggest season of the Bachelor ever…. Fucking god, he didn’t even know what a TV was. You hoped they made sure he knew what that was before he got married. Wild.Your maid could not understand where the conversation was going, “Why are you concerned about that?”“I don’t know. I…” Your flippant answer caught stuck behind an unexpectedly strong dam of emotion in your throat, “I know what it feels like, I guess.”You didn’t look that closely because you didn’t fucking care that much, but you were sure there were portraits of the prince’s mother and father in that hallway. The hallway that he had to pass through every day to get to his bedroom. Thinking of the pictures of your dad you would’ve put up at his funeral you couldn’t afford, one look at the background on your phone, and you couldn’t deny your feelings were deeply sympathetic, against all instincts.Solar was staring and you felt awkward, so back under the walls of disinterest you went, “Don’t get me wrong, though. It’s not like I tolerate the man—”“Greetings.”You jumped right out of your goddamn shoes. What the fuck?Behind you, the prince was standing there and hanging out like he'd been a part of the conversation the whole time. He was wearing a linen undershirt and a gilded black and silver overcoat that surprisingly worked on him. You weren’t going to comment about the long white socks and buckled shoes. You weren’t. And it was stupid to think that slicking his long hair back made him look old as hell and he would’ve looked more princely and modern if it'd been left in artful chaos instead. He was still tipping the hot scale in his favor, but you couldn’t trust anyone in this place to have good taste.Wait, who the hell were you to give him advice? You were just a random nobody.“Hello,” you muttered.His smirk didn’t flash fully, as if he was trying to hold himself back now that you weren’t alone. His eyes dipped over the contours of your outfit before he leaned in close enough that his low acknowledgement breezed across your ear, “Greetings, Lady y/n, who hails from the glorious town of Williamsburg.”A jolt of panic struck you right in the chest. “What did you fucking say? Never call me that ever again.”He wasn’t supposed to know anything about you, no one here was supposed to know anything about you. At least he got the town wrong, thanks to the fact that the financial accounts you still shared with your stepmother were opened in fuckass Williamsburg.“Then what may I call you so as not to upset you further? You may call me Jaehyun.” He introduced himself and reached out for your hand, but not to shake. You knew his slimy little ass was going to try and kiss it, so you switched your phone over to the other side and he was caught in an awkward half-bow when he realized he was blocked off.And what? If you didn’t answer, was he just going to make up a name for you? Because he thought he could do anything he wanted?Out of nowhere, Yuna’s ultra sweet voice stabbed into your eardrum, “She goes by—”You were literally forced into blurting over her, “I go by Blue. It was a nickname my dad called me.”A moment passed where your senses were on such high alert that you were stuck on this remote island of blacked-out overstimulation. Burning swept up your spine and you resurfaced to see Yuna cowering from where you’d body blocked her away by accident. You couldn’t help any of that extremely weird reaction, that nickname was something about you that was so private no one else would ever know the true meaning behind it again.Prince Jaehyun glanced between the two of you with obvious confusion and couldn’t find an elegant way to transition the conversation, “Er. Where is your father now?”You were going to goddamn kill her.“Not here,” you answered quickly, before more bullshit poured out to cover it up, “This is Yuna, I just met her. She’s nice and really beautiful, enjoy.”After shoving her over to where he was standing - cathartic yet not at all - you stalked over to the point in the room furthest away from them. By the time you got to the table where the caterers were passing out drinks, your hands were shaking so hard you needed a cigarette to take the edge off.You went up to the first young woman handing out glasses and asked desperately, “Do you have alcohol here?”Cigarettes would be inappropriate, but a fat glass of booze would do the trick.This chick put on a fresh coat of dark lipstick, shot you a deadpan look, and blared, “It’s ten in the morning,” like she wasn’t just a cater-waiter that partied in DC in her free time.You rolled your eyes at her. “That’s the right time for a mimosa, it’s five o’clock somewhere—”A tap on your shoulder later and you were staring into the too-blinky eyes of Lady Dawon from before, who loudly requested, “Can I get an orange juice, please?”“I don’t fucking work here,” you responded, before your face scrunched at how pissed off she was that you'd called her out for being wrong. “Seriously?”The palace employees like Solar and Mark had their sigil pins, the hired workers were wearing elegant silver uniforms, and all of them were classy. Where exactly did your tight party dress fall on that spectrum?“You’re not dressed like the rest of us.” Dawon’s nose went up in the air, almost a parody of haughtiness at that point. “Just to let you know, the prince was… is a respectful man, he would never look twice at you.”Were you supposed to tell her he ogled you like every other man did?“He is the perfect guy, he’s going to treat whoever he marries like a real princess." Her lady companion swooned hard at her own words. “I bet he’ll get us all flowers and kiss our hands.”At the same time you heard the same bitchy server giggle to her friend, “He’s looking. The prince, he’s looking over here at us. He’s so fine.”You did not want to turn your head and check.A frustrated noise from Solar pierced your eardrum as she grumbled about the girls gossiping together. Was she jealous? It wasn’t like he discriminated with his choices or anything.... your dad’s research clearly said the opposite, if she was hoping she’d have a shot.The cherry on top to all this bullshit was that despite being half a room away, you could still hear Lady Eunbi’s nauseating bragging loud and clear, “I mean, it doesn’t really matter if he picks someone else, I have a backup suitor lined up already. But being married to a prince? So trendy.”Oh my fucking god.These girls had no clue they were lusting after an ancient douchebag who behaved worse than any frat boy they’d ever come across at their wealthy Ivy League universities.Your stepmother signaled for you across the room and you really wish you had strong-armed that girl into giving you the champagne. You were about to be subjected to the highest level of bullshit you’d ever heard in your life. As you approached her, you made a valiant attempt at holding in your frustration, “What do you want. Does Yuna need something—”“You will do it.”“What?”The only thing you were going to do was drink until you were gently escorted out for partaking in improper behaviors... or whatever the uppity term was.Jessica took your arm - not a good sign considering she avoided touching you like the plague - pulled you over into a quiet corner, then repeated, “You will do it, you were the only one he directly approached.”The only one that who approached? The prince? She wanted you to… to…?Shut the fuck up.You had no idea how you only chuckled and didn’t scream laughing, “What are you on, dude?!” She fumed at you implying that she was on drugs, so you stole her heated silence to argue, “First of all, you know I’m… seeing someone. And second of all, once they see what an asshole I am, and I plan for them to see it, I’m outta here.“You will behave the way they want you to behave and dress the way that they want you to dress. Plus, your man friend is an low-class ruffian.” She was never afraid to toss a casual insult into her orders, but the most bizarre thing was her voice getting all soft and pleady after, “Listen to me, there’s no other family with two daughters here.”Wasn’t it logical for you to assume she was tripping balls? She didn’t think you were worthy enough of her using your real name in conversation and now she was convinced you were a lovely princess incarnate…? The answer dawned on you when you processed she used the term daughter to describe you, “You just want me in this to better your odds.”Jessica would’ve rather gouged her eyeballs out than ever see you have any sort of success over her biological daughter. But success here wasn’t given out in isolation.Her manicured smile sent a typhoon of goosebumps down your bare spine. “You are a lovely young woman who would make a wonderful wife.”“You don’t fucking believe that. I thought we kept it real between each other.”You were expected to keep Yuna in her little circle of happy privilege at any cost and you had no problem doing that. But when your dad died and Jessica made you sign a contract agreeing to the rules of her house to avoid being thrown on the street, unspoken war was declared on both ends - to never hold back how you truly felt about one another. It was a survival strategy for the shell-shocked teenager you were at the time. And absolutely unhinged fucking insane behavior from the adult who was supposed to watch over her.No thinking was needed to clock the real reasons behind the change in her attitude, “You think that being mother-in-law to the future princess would catapult you to a life you’ve always been waiting for. That my dad could never give you.”Beyond the gross fact that maybe they loved each other, you had no idea why she ended up marrying a history professor. She always claimed that her father had enough money to buy all of Williamsburg and Virginia Beach, he could’ve just bought her a rich husband too? Real class, like the ladies had here, was something she’d been attempting to buy since she financed her daughter’s pageant win.Jessica let out an offended gasp, “How dare you imply that about me.”Her defensiveness gave away how you’d hit the nail on the head with your assumption. She would use you like a goddamn pawn if you were even remotely interested in this (which you couldn’t emphasize enough that you WEREN'T!!!!!!) and would make your life hell. Plus, she already knew too many of your secrets, which meant you had precious little time to figure out how you could get the outcome she wanted without hurting yourself more.She wanted to be mother-in-law to the prince by any means possible, never mind the roles of the royal family in 2024. The only reason she was approaching you was because she knew that Yuna was at the bottom of the odds cards - if she thought her daughter had any sort of fighting chance, you would be crammed into filling the cracks.That was it, that was your fucking answer.“Did you tell anyone that we were related?” you asked forcefully.“Why on earth would I do that?” Damn, see? At least she was being honest again. “That’s not a point of pride—”“If I get the prince to pick Yuna at the end of this, we’re done here.”You might not have finished high school, but you were a goddamn fucking genius.Jessica’s eyes narrowed into snakes of suspicion. “What did you say?”“Keep our connection a secret. If I convince his royal sleepiness to propose to Yuna instead of one these extremely rich, cultured, and prepared ladies, ladies you know she doesn’t stand a chance against... then our contract about the money no longer exists. And I disappear from your life after.”The contract you signed that had terrorized you for so long was somewhat simple: to pay back the money you borrowed from Jessica when you were fifteen.But it had eventually transformed into this insane beast of an opponent: since you had no way to get a real job and your tips from being a bottle girl barely did anything, the only way you could reduce your debt (plus fucking interest) was by serving as Yuna’s personal assistant and the family maid. Jessica would knock off a few dollars per day, however much she decided your help was worth.This compromise seemed like the best way to win the battle for good.You could tell that she was skeptical before she even opened her mouth, “How is that a fair compromise for me?”“Don’t try to play dumb and pretend you don’t know that they have an incredible amount of both money and future influence in society,” you scoffed. “Why the fuck would you need me after that.”Yes, you owed her a lot a lot of money.Yes, you were sure some (most? all?) of her bitchy behavior towards you was because she was pissed she had to keep you around to ensure she was paid back.But the royal family had so much more cash than you could ever conjure up in your lifetime.Jessica wasn’t doing a good job hiding the fact she was considering it, her next question gave it away, “Even if I were to agree to this farce, how can you be so sure that the prince will bend to your whims?”It’s not like you could tell her about the prince staring at your tits when he approached you today (that would prove the wrong point) but they were pretty great tits. They could be persuasive when you wanted them to be.You shrugged with an air of arrogant nonchalance. “I’m sure.”“This doesn’t mean you cannot fulfill your end of our agreement in the meantime," she warned.“I need the freedom to do whatever I want without you ordering me around.” If the palace people knew you were related to these dumbasses, the whole scheme would be pointless. You’d be purposefully skewing the competition and it was, like, a cardinal rule of being a contestant on the Bachelor to not do that.“I cannot agree,” Jessica denied you with a fatal, solemn air.She wouldn’t let you help her get wealthy because she wanted to enforce the rules of you… helping her get wealthy? Make it make sense.Another idiotic conversation with her over, another curtsy to end it with, “Then good luck, I’m gonna tell them I’m leaving.”You walked away, not at all satisfied with how that went down. To be so close to success only to piss it away over something that trivial was hard for you to accept—“What would your father say if he found out you were throwing away this opportunity? He’d be so disappointed.”The branded, burning blaze from before - that neither a cigarette nor alcohol had extinguished - wreaked havoc on your insides to the point that you were a charred sliver of fury the next time you breathed. And when you turned back around to face her, the bits of your senses that remained were honed to a sharpness designed to kill.You approached Jessica so fast she hit the wall trying to get out of your way. A violent shiver visibly coursed through her body when you didn’t yell at her, just stared at her with deadened eyes and said calmly, “Just a friendly reminder that my friends don’t know where you live. The only reason they don’t is because I’ve never told them, as you demanded when I signed that fucking contract.” There were so many god-awful layers to her attempts at isolating you from contact with the outside world, but you used it to your advantage here, “But you may want to agree, just in case we go back and they suddenly know what neighborhood in Williamsburg I actually live in.”She called Johnny a low-class ruffian because six months ago you bailed on one of Yuna’s photoshoots to go actually bail him out of jail… for a fight he got into at the club. She didn’t know what the charges were for, was definitely under the impression he did something way worse., and you were going to dangle that over her head until she croaked.Jessica meekly nodded and tried to scurry away, but you risked grabbing her arm and holding her in that spot with a measure of power that had her trembling. But you made sure not to raise your voice as you finished, “And if you ever try to use my dad against me like that again, I will make sure your fucking life is hell until the day you die, hopefully as early as he did.”Then you threw her away and went back into the goddamn party, dead set on not leaving this palace until Yuna had a shiny, gaudy crown placed right on her blonde curls.Because Jessica was right about your dad and you hated her fucking guts for it. — You had the hunch that a man who just slept for three centuries might not want to keep doing that. So when you ‘accidentally wandered’ by the royal bedchambers at one in the morning, you found the prince… Jaehyun… (it was so weird to think of him as having an actual name!) examining a lightbulb that was screwed into one of the bougie diamond wall fixtures.It was funny how much all of this was blowing his mind.“Yo!” you called.Just as Jaehyun turned in surprise, Mark emerged from the shadows like a demon - he only existed to shake his head and tsk at you about etiquette, “That is not a proper way to greet his highness.”Jaehyun held out a hand to stop his little sidekick and his eyes were sparkly with amusement. “It is fine, I must learn these things. Yo is a replacement for…?”“Greetings,” you filled in the blank. “But for people who are actually normal.”He tried it out for himself in a whisper, “Yo,” and you begged yourself not to laugh at the sight of him in his large, flowy silk robe using modern American slang.You wanted as much entertainment as possible, so you kept going, “You can also say What’s up? Which is like how’s it going? I guess. What’s up is for people you know and how’s it going is for strangers.”“Yo, what is up,” Jaehyun obediently echoed, close enough to almost be endearing.But Mark didn’t think so and scrutinized you hard, “Should you really be teaching him these things?”Could he fuck off for two seconds?Jaehyun stepped in between you and Mark so the only thing you could see was him and his… surprisingly buff body. He seemed to enjoy leaning in and having every conversation with you in this weirdly intoxicating close range, “Have you come to a decision to halt this self-induced farce of resisting my charms?”You rolled your eyes. “The charms are resisted.”Sort of. The dimples were a particular challenge… until you reminded yourself who they were attached to.“Then why have you chosen to go rendezvousing with me in private?”“I have a proposition to offer you.”Ugh, god. That was not the phrasing you were going for.Because the implications had him looking sooooo self-satisfied, with that little smirk and the tiny puff of his chest that the thin fabric didn’t hide. “Is that so? Are women allowed to enter into deals without a chaperone in this modern age?”What the fuck was he talking about? You needed an old person dictionary to help you out.“Yes, your highness.” Mark slipped back into the conversation to translate between eras, leveling you with another dirty, disapproving look. “A lot of the top businesspeople in the world are women.”Jaehyun appeared beyond pleased to receive that update, “That is commendable, proceed.”You wished you’d physically brought your dad’s notebook with you. Not because you needed his expertise, but it would’ve been nice to have a small moment of comfort to know his research was justified.You pointedly locked your eyes onto Mark’s and didn’t move them away so Jaehyun knew who you were talking about, “Not until he moves far enough away that he can’t hear, because this is personal.”Now that was the right phrasing. Once Jaehyun heard the word personal, his dark eyes dipped into a tide pool shine of desire, making your head spin when he took his sweet time observing the line of lace across the neckline of your pajamas. His voice teetered on the edge of deep seduction despite the context of his next sentence, “Chancellor Marcusson, please go to the end of the hall.”Mark somehow had a sixth sense for your shenanigans because he warned Jaehyun quickly, “Your highness, be smart….”“Do it,” Jaehyun ordered, full princely control on display.The only sign you had that Mark obliged was the fading sound of his footsteps, because no matter what you did you were unable to look away from Jaehyun. You knew that expression, the I would do anything you asked because I want to fuck you expression, and you were… not surprised. Men had not evolved in the centuries that passed.You were surprised by the faint flicker of reciprocation in your chest.So, you had to grit your teeth and barrel your way through this to not be any more of a moron, “I want you to tell your people that I’m done with this weird ass scenario—”He talked over you as fast as he could, “No.”You held out a hand to shut Jaehyun up and snapped over him, “I’m not done, don’t interrupt me. I don’t give a fuck if you’re the prince.” With him stunned into silence, you moved forward with why you came to… rendezvous with him in the first place, “I need you to take me out of this future princess competition in exchange for a job advising you.”A little disappointment was what you were expecting, not Jaehyun’s outright frown and obvious distaste, “A posting in my chamber of chancellors?”You tried the placid, political route first, “Like your little friend said, women hold power now in all professions. It’d be very twenty-first century of you if you did so.”The honorable Prince Jaehyun would be better than half the current elected government if he woke up from an era were women second class citizens, then immediately put a woman on his advisory board or whatever the Mark-led entourage was called.He shook his head adamantly. “No.”“Are you fucking serious, you asshole?”“My preference is for you to remain a part of the process.”The political angle didn’t work, neither did the cursing-every-word-to-make-yourself-look-undignified angle. So, unfortunately for him and for you... since you didn’t know what kind of royal punishments could be waiting, all you had left was the blackmail angle.“You’re really going to make me do this, huh? Let me read from a book about you written in the modern times.” You pulled out your phone and read from the picture of your dad’s notebook you’d snapped before coming here, “The prince had numerous women he was alleged to be involved with. I have tried to trace the origin of most of these relationships but at some point they became too numerous to count.”He might’ve not remembered many details from the past or known a lot of things about the present, but watching the smile dissipate off Jaehyun’s face was all the proof you needed that this thread tied his two lives together.If that wasn’t enough, he got flustered enough to burst into a controlled rage, “Which scholar dared to pen that bushel of lies regarding me?”It was impossible to doubt the historical accuracy of anything your dad wrote.You shrugged, not scared of that display of anger after participating in your fair share of bar fights. “It doesn’t matter. If you don’t agree, I will enlighten the lovely ladies who came here as to how you fucked around behind your fiancée’s back as much as you could. And that your people, then and now, tried their hardest to cover that up.”Hard to say who exactly approved the cover-up, but based on how hard everyone jerked him off during that brunch - metaphorically, fucking ew - it was for good reason. Even today, the royal family was still a shiny example of good morals.Jaehyun had the balls to act scandalized even though you were referencing his own behavior, “Pardon me? What manner of inappropriate phrasing did you take the liberty of using?"“Indiscriminate sexual intercourse with no regard for emotional feelings.” Goddamn. You needed to go to college if there was any hope of communicating with him clearly, coming up with that definition was like getting fucked… in a bad way.His lips pursed as he contemplated what you were saying, then he pivoted down an unexpectedly expected path, “As is my right to do so as an unmarried man of royal status.”Fucking fuckboys never learn.“Just a clue, modern day American girls hate that shit more than anything. Anything.”Nayeon had been dating Hongseok since they were teenagers, but that didn’t mean he stopped messaging scores of Instagram models behind her back. You caught him sending pics once and switched all his Red Bulls to tonic water with laxatives - one shitstorm of a DJ set later and he miraculously never found the need to message anyone but Nayeon again.And you couldn’t even start on the things Johnny was allowed to do since you weren’t in an exclusive relationship.But Jaehyun didn’t know any better, so you took your chance to teach him a lesson, “Just an FYI, dude, it’s generally bad vibes if a man dates or marries one woman, then continually has sex with other women without her knowing or agreeing.”“I cannot comprehend why I would need to mind that,” he responded.Arrogant asshole. You supposed this conversation was good for you, there was no way you’d be remotely attracted to him by the end of it.“Oh yeah? You don’t think you have to mind it? There’s no political marriages anymore, no being with someone for status, not for this crowd.”Those ladies were the status.They could say they wanted a prince until they were blue in the face, but what they really wanted was for peasants like you to be well aware they were hot shit. They made their own rules, lived their own lives, had almost as much influence as the royal family did. Which meant Yuna was the perfect solution to this entire fiasco. She was nowhere close to an upper-class lady yet still held her nose up so high you could summit the Alps on that thing. She was dumb enough and her mom was greedy enough to do whatever the prince asked her to with no pushback… if you only you could just get him to ask.“Did times truly evolve enough that marrying a prince is no longer a privilege?” Jaehyun posed the question like he was sure you could never argue against it.You had to make sure he never got his hands on a goddamn Disney movie.“Sure, marrying a prince is a privilege.” A flicker of victory lit in his gaze before you started to extinguish it bit by bit, “But what happens when their tiaras stop shining and their lives gets restricted to the point of no return and all they gained is a husband that cheats on them? A world exists now where they can leave and find whatever guy they want who’d treat them right.”Lady Eunbi had a backup suitor! A! backup! suitor! One whiff of fuckboy tomfoolery from the prince and she was off gallivanting with Mr. Backup!You were going to make it so the modern world didn’t have room for princes who thought it was their god given right to fuck around.Something in his demeanor changed, Jaehyun leaned against the wall to regard you for a second in the middle of your back and forth, before a sly smile appeared on his face. “I have a theory.”“Try me,” you bit out.An eyebrow raise apparently was a gesture of subtle flirting that crossed both your generations. His somehow perfect one disappeared by his bangs before his right dimple deepened to an extreme extent at his cheeky hypothesis, “That you would prefer to have me for yourself and this is your ludicrous yet flattering strategy of accomplishing as such.”Somehow your body had the instinct to protect you by letting out an unflattering, barking laugh in response. The smile dissipated from his face faster than the note could evaporate, you really could not believe he assumed something so fucking stupid.“Did you process anything I just said?!” You were getting annoyed to the point of toxic-sludge anger, “Sorry it wasn’t in ye olde English, I know you have problems understanding me, but…”Insulted you hadn’t taken his offering, Jaehyun assumed his haughty attacks, “I believe that you are incorrect regarding the entirety of which you have assumed—”You pointed down the hallway to where Mark was straining to eavesdrop on this conversation and laid down the final obstacle for Jaehyun to overcome, “Has Mr. Mark over there informed you how fast communication can be spread now? No letters, no horse and buggy to deliver them?”Paul Revere would’ve had one hell of an easy night if he could’ve just texted ‘lol british r otw! yikes!’“The talking rectangle he demonstrated to me, it is strange,” Jaehyun mumbled in a quiet voice as his gaze dipped fearfully to the device in your hand. A part of you wanted to feel bad he was so overwhelmed by it, but you had to stay on track.“Even with the royal family's legal protection, if you fuck around on any of these women, the entire world will know how big of an asshole you are in a matter of seconds. Seconds.”That wasn’t an exaggeration designed to scare him into agreeing, it was just the truth. One curated story on Instagram from the new princess about @princejaehyun cheating with some other lady and his historical fangirls would never breathe a positive word about him again. Which seemed… not ideal… considering the effort that was put in to erase this part of his biography.Jaehyun managed to grasp the severity of the situation, considering the only thing he could muster was a muttered, “I see.”You had him right where you wanted him, you just had to dig deep enough to leave your personal mark on this, “You would’ve known none of that without me here to tell you. So, do we have a deal or what?”It was almost ridiculous you were trying to spin your attempt at blackmail him into a positive thing, but what the hell. This was all ridiculous.“I….” He hesitated for a good five seconds trying to figure out what to say, then his eyes flicked to meet yours once again. “I cannot glean what benefit you'd gain from being placed in this position.”A strange spiral of guilt shackled itself around the length of your spine.“I’ll get paid, right? That’s enough for me,” you lied.“Is your family not wealthy?”“I’m good.”It felt incredibly freeing to not have to lie to him about what ‘family’ meant within the context of your life.You could see the wheels turning in Jaehyun’s head after what you’d just posed to him, which was your sign to bow out gracefully before you pushed it too far, “I’ll leave you to think on that shit and you can tell me in the morning. Thank you for giving me the grace of your time, your highness.”After waving to Mark in a cheeky goodbye, you bent your knees in another mock curtsy - two days and you were getting good at it - and watched the corner of Jaehyun's mouth turn up in slight amusement. Then your gazes locked one last time, concealed under the cover of purposeful heavy eyelids and a shower of fluttered lashes. You stuck your tongue through your cheek and lifted a matching eyebrow as if to say, There you go, and let the eye contact linger as long as you could. Before pulling away slowly enough that you knew he was going to watch every second of you walking away in hopes that you’d turn back around.You didn’t.You were never going to let anyone say you didn’t have talent ever again. You were so fucking good at this, you just knew you were going to have a piece of parchment with the royal seal on it waiting once you woke up—"My lady."“God damn it!”Once you rounded the corner, you swore at the top of your lungs when you were startled by Solar standing there, waiting with a silk robe in her hands for you to cover up in. You pressed a hand to your racing heart currently trying to burst out of your chest. Why did she scare you like that? Did she have to keep appearing wherever you were like some weird ass ghost?Her face was almost… pinched with uneasiness, like she’d overheard some information that didn’t sit right with her or something. And you just had to ask, “Were you listening to all of that?”She bowed her head and mumbled to the ground without denying it, “Apologies, my lady.”Well, fuck.What were you supposed to do here? Solar walked around the palace with the royal sigil on her blazer but acted like her mission was to whisper advantages into your ear. You had no idea where her loyalties lay and you were big on loyalty.You decided to go with vaguely dancing around what she might’ve heard, “I don’t want to threaten you, but can you please keep it to yourself? I’m trying a… different approach," before your mind flashed to a different problem you hadn’t yet considered. “And I’m sorry you had to find out the truth about the prince that way, everyone here is so goddamn in love with him—”Solar’s expression and words instantly hardened, “I have always known the truth of his arrogant indiscretions.”You thought that maybe she was upset that her illusion of perfect Prince Jaehyun was shattered, but her response was so odd and angry your heart started racing again. This time with a huge load of real fear weighing down the beats.“Did you… read my diary?” She wasn’t supposed to know that information, you shouldn’t’ve just left it sitting there on your nightstand for anyone to read.At least she seemed confused by the question, “Whatever do you mean?”So she didn’t get her information from the notebook, but that didn’t do anything to ease your paranoid mind. Who was Solar's source? What else did she know? You knew that confronting Jaehyun directly was a bold move that could have unintended consequences, but you weren’t ready to acknowledge just how afraid you were of them.“Never mind. Please. just, shh. It would be better for both of us if you did,” you requested as politely as you could, then took the robe to cover yourself up in hopes that it would earn you points. Couldn’t have your carefully-laid plan trampled on before Jaehyun had even made a decision.To your utmost surprise, Solar agreed without protesting, “Yes, my lady,” and hurried you back to your bed, like none of it had ever happened.And as soon as you climbed into the sinking depths of your comfy ass mattress, you knew you were going to stay up until you had his answer. It's not like you had much to dream about, anyway. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You had only known him for a handful of days, yet Mark made himself such an easy target that you couldn’t help but want to fuck with him whenever you crossed paths.As soon as you were close to where he was standing in the hallway, you knocked your hip into his and bellowed, “Good morning, fellow employee!”He squealed at the top of his lungs so loudly that every employee in your area stopped to watch. When he turned to glare at you, you smiled broadly and flashed the letter that was left on your door in the morning after a dreamless night, embossed with the official sigil that matched the pin in the envelope.

His Royal Highness the prince has invited you to join his Chamber of Chancellors as the Chancellor of Culture.

You had to laugh at that one, you’d never been cultured in your life.Mark’s glare turned from embarrassment to pure loathing as he took in everything about you, from the pinstriped miniskirt that was your version of business clothes, to the sigil pin shining in your second ear piercing instead of on your lapel. And you could hear the disapproval dripping from his every word, “You’re going to be wearing that while working?”“I don’t think his highness will complain.” It just so happened that the tiny outfits you preferred to wear had… other purposes… that could help you out.“I do not like you.”Wow, you wanted to say you were surprised Mark cracked this quickly, but you could’ve predicted this even if you were blackout drunk.Which meant you were not fazed by his sudden hostility, “I think you’re just mad that I’m doing your job better than you ever could. You weren’t the one frozen in time, live a little, go to the club. You’re hot!”You shoved his shoulder a little to dig in the teasing. It didn’t make sense that he was your age and this stuffy, one night at the club with Johnny and you were sure he’d be face down ass up—“I am the sole government representative to the palace!” Mark grabbed your arm from where you were tickling him and turned you to face a frame on the wall. You stared at a young colonial man who oddly looked like Mark - he had the same curved eyebrows and round, goofy cheeks under his powdered wig - as he grunted into your ear, “I have served the royal family and the Department of Royal Preservation since I was out of college. It is a position my family has held since my great-great-great-great grandfather, the Marcusson his highness keeps referencing.”How fucking eerie. First you looked like the prince’s old wife-to-be and now Mark looked like his old servant? Were there shenanigans afoot or whatever these people would say? Some magic voodoo bullshit?But you weren’t moved by his sob story, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”It was hilarious watching Mark try to be fierce, he was like a little baby tiger growling at you like this, “I do not know what you said to him last night. But rest assured, if I discover you have manipulated the prince for your own personal gain, I will do everything in my power to—”His words trailed off and suddenly stopped.“To what?” you taunted him into continuing. “At least finish the threat if you’re going to act like this.”You didn’t know what this blonde baby of a man could do to you, but you weren’t exactly going to give up clues that you’d already done what he was saying.“If you’re going to posture about as a palace employee, you’re going to be responsible for palace matters as well.” Mark was using his professional voice again and he definitely wasn’t talking to you. “What is it?”You followed his eyes to where one of the palace security guards was standing, fidgeting so hard he’d knock the silver right off his prissy pin. Where were the fucking hiring standards? He couldn’t look Mark in the eye, so his nervous explanation was directed towards you, “I was supposed to escort the prince to the luncheon this morning, but I went to retrieve him and he’d disappeared."“Disappeared? What do you mean?” Mark asked.“H-his h-hhighness was gone from his chambers. I tried the kitchens, his washroom, even the stables like you said, but nothing.”Huh.You weren’t going to lie, this was interesting. Where the hell could Jaehyun have gone? One step out of the palace into the greater parts of Virginia and things could get very spicy.Mark let out a sigh that rattled the walls around you, then honed back in on you instead of the person that lost custody of the prince, “He probably went for a walk to clear his head while the caterers that I brought back were preparing his meal.”You didn’t give a fuck about his gloating. As soon as he mentioned that the female caterers had returned to the palace, the answer burned into the part of your brain that could actually think and you sprung into action.As you started to walk away, Mark called after you, “Where are you going?”You knocked your knees in a mocking curtsy. “To find the prince for you, of course.”His look made it clear that he didn’t believe you, but you were one hundred percent convinced that your assumption was right. You were so going to enjoy rubbing this in his face at the end of it… …or you might not even have a chance to find the prince. Because the second you were heading towards the hallways leading to the private residence wing, you heard a sweet cry, “Sis?!”Because you might get fucking fired instead.Head Bitch and Dumbass…. Ugh, Jessica and Yuna were there in their matching floral dresses and it took a lot of control to avoid a WWE-level verbal smackdown that’d make them cry so hard they'd finally shut up. You leveled the ice bitch glare at Jessica, since she could take it, and after she subtly reminded Yuna, “Remember what we said about that?”After you’d gotten the letter this morning, you’d sent them a cursory text saying the plan was on and you had to officially stop acknowledging each other (hell fucking yeah!!!!!!!) There was no way the other ladies could find out you were technically related and accuse you of nepotism. Or something worse, like…. Really intense nepotism.“Lady Chancellor,” Yuna obediently swapped in your official title and you kinda understood Mark’s insane power trip after that. “Where are you going? I need you to take a picture of me in this dress because my followers have been asking if I’m going to be the next princess.”God, this was going to be a fucking battle.Your next suggestion was going against literally everything that went on in those brains of theirs, “You should think about acting like the social class we actually are.”Yuna pouted hard. “We’re rich, though.”“You use my money to buy your jewelry and makeup,” you muttered under your breath, before the smile went on and you said in your normal voice, “I have… info… that the prince may be looking outside of the elite families.”A seed that you planted yourself and intended to grow in a pointed direction with that black thumb of yours.“We will think about your suggestion,” Jessica blustered over her daughter before she could say anything in protest and ruin the plan.Yuna and Jessica seemed physically pained to even contemplate leaning into their middle-class status, but you were onto something when you made that not like other girls competition joke.You let out a frustrated sigh and spoon-fed them the cheat sheet, “Just say you like photography and clothes and that….,” before pretending to check your phone for a text and scanning the pictures of your father’s notebook for what you were thinking of.

During the prince’s courtship era, it was customary to lead written correspondences with an excess of flattery. It was typical that the bride and groom would not see each other until the marriage day, thus families wanted to ensure the nuptials would go through.

What was the most flattering thing you could say to a newly-awoken douchebag?“…you came here to meet him but didn’t think you’d be blessed enough to actually meet him.”Damn, you almost believed yourself. They should change your title to Chancellor of Bullshit instead.You left them to ponder (re: plagiarize) your suggestions and continued on with what you were doing. You weren’t looking forward to the lunch that awaited you at the end of this because you knew it was going to be froo-froo sandwiches and tea that tasted like perfume instead of a real drink.As you approached the prince’s newly-appointed private suite of rooms, the same guard who had given you hell outside of the Hall of Portraits was standing watch. You could see the fighting instinct roar in him as you flounced up and used a sarcastically sweet voice, “Can you let me know where the temp workers take their breaks? Palace business.”You flashed the pin in your ear and saw the light leave his eyes. LO fucking L.Now he had to tell you and it looked like he hated every fucking second of it, “Down this hall, one right, another right, the sitting room is in the southeast corner.”Perfect. Because as soon as you heard the party girl waitresses from last night were back, there was only one place the prince could be.The door of the break room being only open a crack caught your attention, especially in a place as proper as this. That was the tell-tale I tried to slam it closed fast and failed sign, and you wondered for a second if you were wrong. If Jaehyun was just hiding and no one bothered to look. You’d be hiding too if you woke up three hundred years in the future and had to break bread with hot, scary aliens.“Hello? Your highness?”You pushed open the door, no answer. You stepped inside, no answer.Your horniness would probably be more accurate for him, but you’d save that one for when you needed it—“Good fucking god!”You needed it.And you didn’t know why you were so fucking shocked when you were right in the first place. He'd disappeared to hook up with a girl… the bitchy girl who didn’t give you a mimosa, who he took the time to stare at despite the rich ladies served up on a platter for him.His head was under her uniform skirts, her eyes were slammed shut in bliss, and his… surprisingly big and strong hands were fumbling with the top of her dress. It was already pulled down enough that you could see everything - and you goddamn meant everything, including the shiny end of a piercing that you were millimeters away from having to explain to him.Even though you’d screamed at the top of your lungs, it took them a minute in the haze of their lust to realize they weren’t alone. Jaehyun went still for a second, then turned over his shoulder, saw you, and shouted, “Avert your gaze!”His mouth was smeared with her deep cherry lipstick. Fucking ew.The more horrifying thing to notice was that his pants were undone… really undone. One flash of pale skin as he stood up and you were covering your eyes and screaming again, “No, you stop being a fucking horny motherfucker! Oh my god!”Nothing like walking in on an old dude having sex to ruin how hot sex usually is.You stood there with your eyes averted, tapping your foot on the ground in an obnoxious sign for them to hurry the hell up while fixing themselves. It wasn’t until you heard the clink of his belt that you felt safe enough to look… Wow, they had really done some good work on each other. Her makeup was ruined and that bun had collapsed into something that made a bird’s nest look classy. While he… somehow still looked princely and pristine now that he’d wiped the lipstick off his mouth. He only had sweat beaded across his brow and a flush on his neck that disappeared into the frills of his fancy linen shirt.“Why the hell are you still here,” you snapped at the girl when she tried to grasp for his arm. “Get out.”Panic switched on her surly attitude, “You’re not my boss—”After moving your hair and flashing her the palace sigil pin, you used your privilege for the first time, “Official palace chancellor, get the fuck out.”She finally got the hint that you meant business and grabbed her purse, then tried to kiss him goodbye which actually made you laugh out loud. She ran after that, right past you without slowing down once.When it was just you and Jaehyun in there, you slammed the door shut like it should’ve been, then ripped into him, “Seriously?! I thought we agreed!”You - someone who very much enjoyed every hookup she’d ever chosen to participate in - had to go on this insane, hypocritical, threatening rant to hopefully make him change his behavior. And now he was fucking that up for you? In all senses of the word?Jaehyun looked at you like you were crazy as he ran his hands through his hair. “I allowed you to obtain a position within my Chamber of Chancellors, that is the only term to which I acquiesced.”“Do you plan on fucking every woman in this palace?” you bluntly asked.Up his flirty little eyebrow went. “Only the ones who request that I do so.”At least he didn’t have prehistoric views on consent. The bar was in fucking hell.“This one I had not yet even begun true intercourse with,” he then chose to clarify, as if that important detail would somehow earn him some points with. God, literally nothing worse than fucking being referred to in any other phrasing.“Wait. This one? She wasn't the first?” You were confused by what he meant for a second. But he had no humility in his body, none whatsoever, so when you made eye contact he nodded like it was the thing he was the proudest of. “What the fuck, dude?!”You swore this wasn’t intended to be slut-shamey.“What are you deigning to suggest in the first place?” Jaehyun pointed an accusatory finger in your direction. “That I cannot satisfy any of these carnal feelings until I am engaged to the future princess?”Your dad’s notes said that the prince attended the colonial version of a college that eventually became UPenn, so it was hard to believe this dude was being this fucking dense.Another key rule of The Bachelor? Never get involved with the staff, only the contestants.You could not believe he was making you of all people say this, it was beyond slimy, “If those rich girls find out you fucked multiple servants, half of them will be gone before lunch starts. If you want to get your rocks off…” He made a confused face at the euphemism you chose and you were so pissed off you had to clarify, “Ugh, satisfy yourself?” His mouth formed a round o of surprised shame and you finished off your rant, “…kiss them, flirt with them, they understand that it’s part of the process. But if you’re fucking every girl you meet, they’ll start to wonder why the hell they’re here in the first place.”There were no words to describe how awkward it was to shit on that female caterer when she had more money and freedom than you could ever dream of.Even with all that, Jaehyun was left staring at you like you’d just spoken to him in Korean or something.“You’re never going to understand what I’m saying,” you muttered under your breath, before turning your customer service voice on - hey! He and Yuna had that in common, how cute!, “Just don’t get any of them pregnant. And use protection if you get to that point.”His forehead creased with confusion. “Protection?”Oh, dear fucking god.You were not explaining what that was, that was not in your job description. But he’d just given you a way to get back at Mark for being a dick.You smiled sweetly at Jaehyun and hoped he wouldn’t sense the undertone of evil in your suggestion, “Ask Chancellor Mark what a condom is next time you see him, hmm?,” before you grabbed his arm and hurried him to the door, “Now come on, your royal horniness, you’re late.”It was going to be a struggle describing what just happened in your texts to Nayeon tonight. Why was all of that so unhinged? They definitely weren’t paying you enough. But you also couldn’t complain, because, you know… at least they were paying you.Jaehyun walked close to you on purpose, you’re sure, so that his arm brushed yours plus the loose strands of your ponytail. And his question was so light and carefree, like you hadn't just argued, “Did you find the pin to your liking, Lady Blueberry?”Blueberry? Why was he so fucking cringe all the time?“Don’t talk to me.” You held up a hand in his face and Jaehyun tripped over his feet trying to figure out what to do in response.“But—”“Do not speak,” you bit out. “I’m so annoyed with you.”You didn’t sign up to be a babysitter. If you had to do more of that you were better off quitting and just living in poverty forever. You couldn’t believe this guy, he slept for almost three centuries and just got right back to it, he couldn’t even wait a week.Talk about blue balls, those things were probably navy.“Your highness, thank god,” Mark exhaled in relief, holding his chest like a drama queen, when you appeared outside the banquet hall with the prince in tow.You knew what to say to get his heart racing again, “Found him with his head up a caterer’s skirt. Just like I thought.”Mark’s flinch-yelp propelled him right off the ground, “Your highness?! Is she serious—”Jaehyun spoke so loudly that you were sure his ancestors in the palace mausoleum could hear, “What exactly is a condom device, Chancellor Mark?”Ha. Haha. Hahahahahaha. Haaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha. You couldn’t breathe.Mark’s face turned a shade of red that quickly became a shade of purple, he was a mortified little eggplant with blonde hair as he fumbled about for a response, “Uh. Uhhhh, um. Oh my god.”He glanced at you for help and you definitely didn’t notice!!!!!!!“Enjoy that,” you whispered.It was a testament to how badly you didn’t want to go to this lunch that you thought maybe you should stick to the condom lesson instead. As you heard the giggling from inside, you told yourself that Nayeon was a girly girl at heart and you loved hanging out with her, that you had traces of that left in your heart as well, that hanging out with these girls was an important thing to do.But damn, that was hard to stick to.Especially when Lady Eunbi’s nose wrinkled when you walked in, like you had a stench instead of the nice Bath and Body works shit you knew every bitch liked. “What are you doing here? Are you seriously sticking around thinking you have a shot, Miss Whoever You Are?”“I am the Chancellor of Culture. Please use my official title, Lady Whoever You Are,” you sarcastically corrected.Having power felt so fucking good. You knew you couldn’t get too used to it.It was not hard to feel the disbelief seeping off of them or miss the fleeting judgmental glances they gave your outfit in comparison to the lunch couture they’d broken out. Their weird ass hats made it look like they were off to rendezvous with the Canadian prince or something. You made sparse eye contact with Yuna and Jessica sitting at the back tables - definitely where they’d been relegated - and they made blank faces in return like they had no idea who you were. Cover in place, you pushed your hair back behind your ear so everyone in the room could take a good fucking look at the sigil pin.Lady Dawon was the closest to you, she took one look at it then gasped, “Wait. You’re not here as a candidate?”You felt the hostility simmer to a more tolerable level. Were they… worried?You didn’t blame them.After sitting down at an open seat and crossing your legs so they could see how short your skirt was, you disarmed them with a comment you spent all morning crafting, “I’m here to do meaningful work on the behalf of the American people by educating the prince. I couldn’t give a fuck about finding a husband.”There was nothing you wanted to do less than getting married - you wanted to be Johnny’s girlfriend, not his wife, fucking gross - and now these girls had no idea you were watching their every move. Which was perfect—“Ladies!”“Your highness!”Jaehyun walked into the lunch with Mark behind him and it was like none of what just happened happened. He looked princely and perfect in his golden overcoat, no blemish or flaw in sight besides the same weird long socks and Quaker Oatmeal buckle shoes. His long hair was meticulously slicked behind his ears, with a set of golden pins holding it in place that made it seem like he was wearing a crown.He bowed his head slightly and all rational thought was sucked out of the room as the girls sat forward on their chairs to hang off of every deep word, “I apologize for the extreme delay I have imparted onto you. It has been an adjustment to return to normal life and I simply took some time to myself this morning.”Your snort-scoff was drowned out in a unified trill of, “We didn’t mind!”Finally, Jaehyun was playing your game the way it was supposed to be played.“As I enumerated during the welcome proceedings, I wanted to extend my gratitude to each of you for being so generous in gifting your time to my endeavors. It cannot be emphasized enough that the greatest aid to my adjustment is having you enrapturing maidens by my side.”What the fuck…?You sort of understood how Jaehyun was able to wrangle so many horny colonial women into bed.It was classic fuckboyery, yet they seemed to be falling under a spell with every word he said - one flash of his dimples and you could feel the room flooding… no further elaboration, “I apologize that this is lacking the intimate, personable atmosphere I hope to cultivate. However, I do wish to know the finer details that construct the foundations of who you are—”“I’ll begin!” No fucking surprise as to who interrupted him, Lady Eunbi stood up in the middle of the room like a bitchier Statue of Liberty, with a great rack and fluttery eyelashes, “My name is Lady Eunbi Kwon, I was born and raised in Newton, Massachusetts. I went to Harvard for all three degrees that I hold, but decided to model in Paris just because I could.”Ah… that explained the dramatic runway makeup.You weren’t going to criticize Guccio Gucci or whatever, but where the hell were the standards?Out of instinct, Jaehyun looked right in your direction when she finished speaking and you could tell that he had no idea what the hell Lady Eunbi had just said. Mark was supposed to help him with this stuff, but you saw an opportunity and had to take it, “Someone who displays new clothing that is created. Models make a lot of money.”Jaehyun didn’t react when he picked out your subtle reminder, but you knew he remembered what you implied about the richest girls here. The horniness was a strong motivating force.“I had six different contracts last season,” she bragged.You made the most tips at your club six times in the past two weeks, so… you were definitely #winning here.Jaehyun nodded as he should, yet responded with near-cold seriousness, “I understand. Pleasant to make your acquaintance, Lady Eunbi.”Once the girls sensed he wasn’t interested in Lady Eunbi bragging about her money, the competition was officially on.Lady Dawon stood up before anyone had the balls to steal her chance, “I’m Lady Dawon Nam, from right here in beautiful Arlington, Virginia, and I work at the Library of Congress. My brother is on the Secret Service for the President. We love our country in all ways—”Another woman barged forward with a list of accomplishments that draped past her designer shoes, “Hello, I’m Lady Solbin Ahn, hailing from your home state of Delaware. I’m a double doctor, I completed graduate school and medical school.”“I work on Wall Street and play piano!”“I spend half my summers in Egypt excavating historical sites for respectful preservation.”“I speak English, German, French, and a little Spanish, mi amor.”As the ladies continued to detail their extremely fabulous lives to Jaehyun, you couldn’t help but feel the scarf of inferiority wrap around your neck and start to choke you bit by bit. You were decently-spoken and cultured enough by proxy - your dad did enough work in his lifetime to ensure certain things were drilled into your brain - but you didn’t finish high school because of what happened. You didn’t know languages or how to play an instrument, let alone have a fancy degree or cool experiences in another country….
[12:17 pm] the sister: help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neither did she.
[12:18 pm] you: there there. wyd?[12:19 pm] the sister: IDK what 2 say![12:20 pm] you: take a happy pill and remember what i told u
Ugh, texting should’ve been made off-limits too.You put down your phone to casually make eye contact with Yuna across the room where she was taking her vitamins. Her face was so lined with tension it seemed like she had to shit, badly, so you risked it. You twisted your face into a dreamy, silly ass smile, then twirled your fingers in the air in the mockery of fairy dust. She loved pretending to be a sweet (empty-headed, lol) princess, this shouldn’t be hard.Jessica lifted Yuna’s hand into the air and now you were getting somewhere with them. It was a good move, she looked polite and gracious in the middle of all the bitching.And it didn’t go unnoticed.Mark held up a hand of his own to silence the squabbling girls who were talking over each other to try and get the last word in, then gestured for Yuna. “Would you like to introduce yourself?”You flashed her the stupid smile one more time, just in case.“I’m… I’m Yuna, just Yuna.” One smile. “My mom and I are from Williamsburg, Virginia.” An even brighter smile. “I like photography and pretty dresses and I was so happy to come here to meet you.” Her eyes practically disappeared with glee, you knew she actually felt this stuff, “I just didn’t think I’d be blessed enough to actually meet you.”Your bullshit sounded even more believable coming from her innocent mouth.Jaehyun laughed out loud, a honking, inelegant, almost ugly way of laughter (especially for a prince!) and the entire room froze over into this envious tundra.“That is an appreciated witticism.” Jaehyun’s controlled chuckles were musical and pleasant, but almost too cookie-cutter in comparison to his wildness. You assumed he would leave it there, so you didn’t expect what he said next, “I am pleased you came to meet me as well.”Because Yuna, via the words you told her, was the first one to acknowledge him… she was the first one Jaehyun acknowledged in return.Her face exploded into a ball of pink and all she whispered in return, as everyone turned to gawk at her, was, “Yeah.”Jaehyun didn’t return her longing gaze with any level of true romance, but he stared at her for a second longer than he did at anyone else. Your stepmom’s jaw scraped the goddamn floor when she saw.You were so fucking good at this. —

At the time, the prince was described as a purveyor of trendsetting male fashion. Several clothing designers across the colonies would send pieces to the palace for his highness to wear, and he became well-known for his elaborate overcoats, fine leather bags, and general refusal to stick to the more customary clothing traditions of the time.

You glanced over to where Jaehyun was getting dressed before the morning’s first schedule and his highness certainly wouldn’t be known as a purveyor of fashion anymore. The navy blue overcoat was fine, but the long white socks and the big ass shoes with the gold buckles… you wanted to call him the Quaker Oatmeal Man so badly.Mark kept sending you these freaky little glances across the bedroom, to the point that you just called him out, “Are you signaling that I should help?”He flinched and you could feel him trying to suppress his sheepishness, “That is part of your job.”Before he could spill any more bullshit, you leaned back in your chair and hollered at the prince, “Are you trying to look like a tool?”Jaehyun’s sweaty little face popped into the doorway, his forehead creased with confusion as he babbled, “Pardon? A garden spade, perhaps?”Fuck, you had to remember you couldn’t just say stuff.“No… I. Is this a setup?” you blurted, your own confusion now kicking in.The welcome brunch was so close to him waking up that it made sense they just let Jaehyun wear whatever was left here. He also got a pass for the introductory lunch considering he had… escaped… his dresser right before. But it’d been two weeks and no one told him people were going think he was fucking ridiculous once the non-judgey grace period wore off? Was that on purpose?Mark’s high and mighty voice prickled into your ear, “He says he feels uncomfortable in modern clothes and is not pleased with the outfits I picked for him.”Ah. Not high and mighty, just incompetent.Jaehyun must’ve heard that, because he stepped out of his dressing room and corrected, “I do not understand why I must alter my preferences just because society deems it so.”Did he take the words out of your mouth? Lol.This meant it was on you to be brutally fucking honest with him, “People are going to make fun of you.”“What?” He glanced down at his outfit and you could see the gears grinding as he tried to figure out what people could possibly roast.“They’re going to see your funny ass clothes and call you modern insults like the Quaker Oatmeal Man. Which you wouldn’t get, but everyone else would laugh at.”You would never admit to who came up with that one! You were just trying to get him to understand how brutal people could be!Mark snickered loudly before he could control himself. You were not surprised he was the target audience for your assholery, but at least he had the decency to look like he felt bad when he realized what he’d done. Jaehyun was pissed off, based on his frown and his fingers clenching into half-fists, but he seemed like got your point after that. He walked over to where Mark had put several real-people buttondowns on the bed and ran his fingers over them. He did the same with the shirt that he had on, then his quiet response slipped out, “These fabrics are quite… smooth. It is odd.”Yeah, ‘cause apparently Mark got that fancy silky shit from Prada or whatever. You were sure the colonial weavers didn’t exactly have the same kind of skills, even to craft the clothes the prince wore.What was really odd was the fact that you always seemed to have more sympathy for Jaehyun in these moments.After a glance at his outfit and weighing the options that were available, you crafted a solution like you were getting Yuna ready for a photoshoot, “Do the white linen shirt with the navy suit jacket, your pants, but wear boots to cover up the long socks. Because I’m telling you, you are never going to bring that look back.”He probably hated modern clothes because of how they felt, so he had to get used to it little by little. Concealing the old stuff with the new was the easiest answer.Jaehyun didn’t want to bite, as evidenced by his eyes narrowing at you. “I sense as if you are attempting to sabotage me.”“Why? Have you once seen me look bad?”You lounged in your chair at a particular angle, so he could see the flash of your jewelry and your vest top molding to your chest, and Jaehyun did not have an answer. Which was… so fucking satisfying. If you really wanted to sabotage him, you wouldn’t’ve just let him go out there like the Quaker Oatmeal Man he was.He sighed in defeat and reached for the ties of his shirt. As soon as you saw a slip of his pale chest, you were dramatically hollering as you held your hands up to block the view, “Do not change your clothes in front of me!”You didn’t want to see frail old person body!“These are my chambers!” he yelped.“You want my help? Go in the fucking bathroom!”The air pressurized with tension as you glared at each other from opposite ends of the room and you worried for a fleeting second that Jaehyun was going to fire you for going way too hard. But he snatched up the jacket that you’d pointed to and slunk into the bathroom, slamming the door shut as hard as he could. What a fucking baby.“How do you do that?” Mark’s curious voice shattered the sudden silence. “Get him to oblige, I mean?”You had no fucking clue, that was honestly insane.But you didn’t want to show Mark how surprised you were, so you shrugged like it was no big deal. “You’re already asking me for tips? I thought you’ve served the royal family your whole life.”That comment hit the nerve you wanted and Mark stormed out, obviously wanting to punish you with the task of finishing the prince’s preparations for the day. But getting to do nothing after minimal effort - another thing Jaehyun had in common with Yuna! - was waiting for you instead.You glanced around the room to kill time and in the corner of the closet that was re-filled with new clothes was a three cornered hat fitted on a display mannequin. You swore to god, if you ever caught Jaehyun wearing that, you were about to start calling him Slutty George Washington.
[11:14 am] you: yo wyd? imma call u rq u need to see this lmaoooooo
Expecting Nayeon to answer your FaceTime - because she would definitely appreciate the SGW joke - you were surprised by Johnny’s sleepy face appearing on screen, all heavy eyelids and a heavier voice, “Hey, my sexy beach girl. Missed your little frowny face.”Fuck off.You moved the screen so your little mouth wrinkle wasn’t visible, then grumbled at him, “What the hell? I called Nana.”“Yeah, you called Nayeon instead of me and woke all of us up.” Johnny rolled over and you got a good look at the torso you wanted to see - muscled and covered in his tattoos and, most importantly, not a frail old dude’s - sprawled in the middle of his bed. Hongseok was on the other pillow with a knocked-out Nayeon tucked into his arms and Johnny’s roommate Sehun was squished into the extra space.“It’s eleven in the morning.”“We were out late at a gig. I missed you there, when are you coming home to meeeeee.”His fussy whining and the funny face he ended it with had real longing carved into your heart. You missed being back in VBeach, you missed going to his shows and sneaking home with him, waking up this late in his bed the next morning.“I told you everything that’s going on. I don’t know when I can.” That was not a lie, the palace was trying to find the prince a wife, but you had no idea if that was on a colonial or modern timeline.Johnny’s lips pursed with his response, “It feels a little weird that you’re there for another guy.”Your annoyance exploded without control, fueled by the fact that you weren’t comfortable enough being vulnerable with Johnny to tell him the truth of why you were here. Nayeon didn’t even know the full details, so you couldn’t technically use that against him. But you got pissy in response anyways, “How many girls is Na gonna tell me came up to the booth last night?”He changed the subject so hard you got whiplash, “What are you doing right now?”Nice. Probably a lot of them, then.Holding in your anger was all you could do, so you just played along instead, “Making sure his royal sleepiness doesn’t wear something that makes him look like he walked out of a museum.”“What are you wearing?”Was Johnny aware he was playing a dangerous game?You made damn well sure he couldn’t see anything through the FaceTime screen as you described your clothes, “Vest top with nothing underneath ‘cause it’s tight and a tiiiiny skirt, all the business attire I have.”Solar had brought the business clothes you asked for, but took your request as literally as possible. You were left with an array of skirt suits that made you look about forty-five… plus another forty-five. You were giving grandma when you tried this one on to see if you could salvage something, which meant abandoning the jacket and rolling up the skirt as high as it could go.And judging by the sound of the breath sucked in through his teeth, hearing about the fit but not seeing it made Johnny regret being a dick to you.“You are an insane girl, parading around in that while I’m not there.” He brought the phone close to his mouth so that his low, lewd message was delivered right to your ear, “If you don’t show me, I’m going to get on the train and come—”“With whomst are you conversing?”The phone almost flew out of your goddamn hand in your hurry to hang up when you heard Jaehyun’s voice. You didn’t dare turn around when you answered, “No one.”He didn’t know anything about FaceTime and was probably blind since they didn’t have Lasik back in the day, so… No way he saw anything.Jaehyun came out of the dressing room and repeated himself as he gestured to your phone, “There was a person on your talking rectangle.”Fuck.What the fuck were you supposed to do here?“That was Johnny,” you awkwardly explained, no further elaboration in hopes that Jaehyun would drop it.He did not. “I am trying to understand. He is your…?”How could you explain the existence of Johnny to a person that had no understanding of what friends with benefits was. Which was a stupid thing to worry about, considering the alleged reason Jaehyun was here in the first place was because he couldn’t stop having colonial friends with benefits.“Paramore?” You had seen an interview with Hayley Williams about the band name when you were in your punk phase and that was as close enough as you could get.Jaehyun’s eyebrows lifted and his face lit up with such vivid curiosity. “Paramour? Secret lover?” You nodded, feeling awkward despite that explanation doing the trick, and he leaned against the doorframe to regard you, “That is perhaps the most interesting detail I have learned about you thus far.”And his eyes dipped to the pinstripes on your vest, doing absolutely nothing to cover up the flower tattoo on your cleavage.“I’m fucking interesting, fuck off,” you snarked back at Jaehyun for being rude. “Also, it’s not a secret, everyone knows that he exists…”By everyone, you meant everyone.Johnny was supposed to be your secret lover for as long as you could keep it, but that was undone by the most unfortunate accident. Head Bitch and Dumbass drove to the apartment you shared with Nayeon in VBeach to force you (on your own fucking birthday!!!!) to come back to Williamsburg and do Yuna’s makeup for a photoshoot for her birthday (six months in advance!!!!!!!!!!) You didn’t answer the phone because you were… yeah… and they walked in on you… yeah.Jaehyun let the bewilderment run wild on his face and wondered, “Then why would you not refer to him as your husband?”“I’m twenty-nine years old, I don’t need a husband,” you scoffed.Not like Johnny was husband material in the first place. He barely made the cut of you wanting him to be your boyfriend.“In modern-day America, they let elderly women remain as unwed maidens? Fascinating.”“Elderly? I’m younger than you by a bunch of centuries!”Fucking rude asshole.The more you bantered, the more his smile curved to full glory, lively and glittering with the shine of his dimples. Jaehyun eventually conceded to you with a hint of lingering doubt, “I am simply saying it is notable that you remain unmarried. Fair play if it is a choice you have made on your own.”You could feel the judgement hidden underneath his words, like he couldn’t possibly comprehend why you’d choose to stay single over getting married.“I don’t want to talk about this with you.” This was one subject you knew you couldn’t change either of your minds on.“I did not wish to discuss it in the first place,” he haughtily responded, before pivoting just as well as anyone else. “How did you and Strong John come to form a relationship?”What the fuck…?“Johnny,” you corrected.Wasn’t Johnny Appleseed a canon character from his era that Jaehyun should personally know? It wasn’t like he spelled it weird either, like Jonneigheieh or whatever.“He appeared to have a large neck,” Jaehyun pointed out, as if that made his choice of a nickname even more obvious.“Never mind. We met because he’s in a DJ crew with my friend’s…” How were you even going to explain boyfriend? “Her love partner that is not her husband but is not her paramour.”Who also really fucking sucked, but that was a lesson for another day: 'Don’t be a massive douchebag to your partner who’s more successful than you are.'Knowing Jaehyun, he’d probably need it.He was more preoccupied with something beyond than the definition of boyfriend and asked, “A D… Jae…?” then gestured to himself as if that letter was the same as the first syllable of his name. Lol, no.“The letter J,” you corrected.Jaehyun got even more confused, “Those are two letters, they should not have any meaning."Ugh, why did 2024 have to be so complicated.You dug deep past the limits of your inexistent historical knowledge in order to explain Johnny's job, “He’s…. a traveling musician.”“That is quite formidable. Has he mastered the works of Beethoven?”Jaehyun had temporarily forgotten he wasn’t in his old life and peered at you with such earnest energy in his eyes that you had to hold back a giggle. Johnny’s claim to fame was getting a Twitter like from T-Pain once, and T-Pain was like modern-day Beethoven, so…You waved it off so he wasn’t reminded of the mistake. “Enough about Johnny. Let’s see this outfit.”Jaehyun reluctantly slunk away from where he’d been half-concealed by the posters of his bed, and…………… okay, damn. You were good at this, too. The old linen shirt tied up to his broad neck highlighted the modern suit jacket, and his lean, strong legs were tucked into boots instead of exposed in those weird socks. Jaehyun came across as the average (not literally, that face was anything but average) sophisticated, rich man who had an eye for mixing fashion. Definite prince vibes but no longer the eighteenth-century weirdo ones.“No hat. No hat!” you instinctively screeched despite your brain not registering the complete picture of what was happening.Which was Jaehyun beelining towards the three-cornered hat in the closet to show it off, like he thought it’d be the cherry on top of all the hard work you’d did.“But the hat demonstrates my status as prince when I am not wearing a crown.” His pout was inadvertent but semi-charming enough to get you to cave—No, you couldn’t cave. That thing had a feather on it!You stared at him like you meant business. “I don’t care.” As he did with all your previous orders, Jaehyun made sure his dissatisfaction was obvious on his face but did as you said without protest and put it back on the mannequin. Thank god, he didn’t realize how much you were actually looking out for him.“We should prepare for the inter—view.” Mark ran in to retrieve Jaehyun for whatever they were going to be working on and flopped in his tracks like an annoying little fish. He couldn’t hide his surprise at just how hard you’d nailed what he failed. “Wow.”Jaehyun smiled from ear to ear, happy as clam to hear that he looked good.You patted Mark’s cheek then knocked under his chin where his jaw had fallen open and teased, “Close your mouth, otherwise you’ll have to enter as a potential suitor.”He was seething as he gritted out the proper acknowledgement through his teeth, “Well done, Lady Chancellor.”You curtsied. He seethed harder.Mark was going to hate you by the end of this, lmao.To speed up that process, you took Jaehyun’s arm and made him walk next to you as you left the room, so that Mark was forced to straggle behind. You needed privacy to dig a little for the important things, “What are we feeling with the ladies…” before a gross shiver went up your spine and you scrutinized Jaehyun closely. “Or not feeling?”It wasn’t like you needed a weekly debrief of him swearing on ye olde holy book that he didn’t fuck anyone he wasn’t supposed to. But you needed to be aware of what was going on behind your back.Jaehyun pressed a hand over where his heart and honestly promised, “I have not.”Why did you believe his slimy little ass? Maybe because you hadn’t seen any maids running around with hickeys over the past week?“Good. I’ll kill you if you do.”The threat was a casual one you’d toss out to Nayeon if she was being bitchier than usual and you wondered if you should take it back ‘cause he’d think you were being literal. But Jaehyun was chuckling to himself like that sarcastic phrase had snuck through the eras and you weirdly felt that you were friends with him for a second.Then you got your head back in the game and squeezed his arm for an answer, “Okay, how about Lady Dawon?”“Insecure—Oh.” His pink lips parted for when he realized he’d instinctually said something rude and he glanced at you, preparing for a scolding. Which, he wasn’t wrong, Lady Dawon always tried to be the center of attention in rooms she had no business commanding. She was a forever lady-in-waiting to the queen bee.You shrugged to show off how little you cared and he relaxed as you pressed on, “Lady Solbin?”“Intelligent and friendly.”“Lady Eunbi?” You were definitely the most curious about this.Jaehyun pondered over his answer for a few seconds - you could tell he was weighing being honest against being polite - and he settled on, “She is certainly a formidable woman.”You hated he went that route, because you had no idea what he meant. You couldn’t read his expressions that well yet, or at least well enough to figure out how he truly felt about her.“That’s one word for it,” you muttered, before you finally had a chance to ask the most important question. “What about my—Lady Yuna?”None of the other ladies mattered beyond her.A good sign was that Jaehyun smiled fondly at the mention of her and his response seemed like it was going to be positive, “Her sweet demeanor was the most charming...”“Good morning, your highness!” If he wasn’t interrupted by fucking Lady Eunbi, standing there in her burnt orange gown that would’ve been more suitable for a hoity-toity opera than eleven on a Wednesday morning. She stared at you and said nothing, then pointedly moved onto Mark so that you knew you were being ignored, “Good morning to you too, Chancellor Mark!”It would’ve been hurtful… if you actually gave a fuck about her or her opinion.Jaehyun inclined his head in a polite bow and greeted her in return, “Ah, Lady Eunbi. Good morning.”“I have to say, what an outfit.” She fawned over him and made a great show of looking his clothes - and his body - up and down, making sure he knew she appreciated it. “That would be something I’d see at my fashion weeks.”Ugh, kiss his fucking ass harder.“Thank you.” You caught Jaehyun’s side eye, so subtle and elegant that you almost ignored it completely, and realized he was asking your permission to lie. Your nod felt clunky and awkward contrasted against his confident response, “I selected it with care after proper observation of modern men.”As much as it pained you to say it, there was no need for you to take credit here.She held out a hand for him and put on her best flirty smile. “I thought I would meet you early and walk you to lunch, it is important for us to have time alone if we are to be married.”And whatever strand of friendship tied between you and Jaehyun was snipped, as he was unable to resist the allure of a private rendezvous with a beautiful woman. You hoped that your warning ten minutes ago was enough to keep his brain and his… other organs… guarded, because you’d rather him fuck a maid than her.“She’s good,” Mark breathed as they walked down the hallway arm in arm, looking every bit the elegant couple from this dissociated view.“You’re not supposed to play favorites here, Markson,” you scoffed.He shot you the most serene smile and responded quickly yet evenly, “Neither are you.”But you had to. You were beginning to think you were the only person in this goddamn place who saw everyone for who they really were. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You finished off Yuna’s eyeshadow with a subtle flourish of silver glitter that made her look like a glowy star fairy that had landed here on earth. It wasn't hard to admit that she's was as annoying as she was beautiful—“Don’t you think you should put more makeup on her? She looks sickly.”If her mother ever allowed her to flourish to her full potential.You deflected away from Jessica’s comment when you saw how Yuna’s face fell, “A natural look is fine.”Jessica had the audacity to grab your brush before you could put it away. “But she might be on camera today.”“I thought they asked you to stop posting on Instagram for privacy reasons?” You weren’t trying to be flippant, you were genuinely confused and wondering if there was something you missed. Everything was private around here, you felt like a weirdo criminal every time you texted someone and Yuna had actually gained more followers after she had to make her account private.“Do what I say.” She snapped her fingers in your face to make her point.“Yes, madam.”Fucking sheesh.She gave up the brush so that you could continue. When you went back to add on finishing touches, you saw that Yuna was still upset despite her mother's harsh words being more of a dig at you. So you set about your job as the moral support puppet, “The prince said he found your sweet demeanor charming! Keep that up, sis!”It was stretching the truth a little since Jaehyun never finished his thought, but what the hell? She didn’t know any better.“It’s so hardddddd.” Yuna didn’t seem to realize she was roasting herself. “What should I do?”“Compliment his outfit, no matter what he’s wearing.” Jaehyun's little smile when Mark and Lady Eunbi did the same thing was a reminder that he was now insecure about something he used to be known for. “You said they might be on camera today?” The two of them nodded and another idea popped into your head, “I’m sure that’s pretty scary for someone who didn’t even have photography when he was alive. You could help him with that.”The last time Jaehyun wanted to save an image of his beautiful face, Michelangelo Lite had to sit for like a gazillion hours and paint it. Sitting under lights on a filming set like he was on some dramatic Real Housewives reunion had to be so fucking jarring.Yuna’s face scrunched with surprise and she almost ruined your hard work. “What? Really?”Didn’t this hoe go to to college? Granted, it was at her grandpa's university on her grandpa’s nepotism dollar and she studied how to post on social media 101 or whatever - you did all those homework assignments - but how did she not know photography didn’t exist then?“Never mind. How does that look?” you asked instead.You stepped back so that she could look at herself in the mirror and it was never not hilarious to be next to her like this. She was the epitome of princess perfection, her hair never out of place, off-season dresses and shoes always glittering, delicate jewelry designed to accent her soft energy. And here you were, not assed to cover the colorful palette of your tattoos, wearing a ripped jean skirt that was inches away from being a belt, and rubbing at smudged eyeliner that covered how tired you always were.It wasn’t even a not like other girls competition, you sometimes wished you had one day with enough peace that you could try and look that put together.The corner of Yuna’s mouth turned up in a smile, but Jessica had apparently decided today was the day to be a mega bitch, “I need more. More!”You pretended to put more blush on to oblige her, barely transferring any product with the brush but just making it look like you did. No way were you going to alter any of it, not when it could tip Yuna into Lady Eunbi’s ranks of clownery.“How does it look now?”“Much better,” Jessica and Yuna answered in unison.Fucking dumbasses.You gave Yuna her happy pills, which she downed as fast as possible in hopes that friendly Vitamins C + D would improve her mood. After picking out the matching cream purse to go with her outfit, you sent her out the door to join the other ladies and were about to follow, when… Jessica got in your way. You wondered if she was that mad at you for the makeup bullshit, but she couldn't be. Yuna looked good, you would’ve never let her go out there if she didn’t.You didn’t bother being polite, “What the fuck do you want?”She turned up her nose as high as it could possibly go and answered, “It’s the first of the month.”A violent overflow of regret and sadness coated the outline of your spine. It was a feeling that had not lessened over the hundreds of times you’d been made to experience it.“Seriously?” You had to hide the tremble of your mouth behind a mean mug of resentment.Jessica stared at you like you were the biggest fucking idiot on the planet. “I informed you that you could not avoid fulfilling the long-standing agreement we already have—”You pulled your phone out of your pocket and sent the jaw-dropping amount of money she’d Venmo requested to fulfill your monthly obligation of your debts to her. You saw the sparse change left in your account and the resentment became too damn real. She’d always had access to your bank account, there were several locked parts of it only she had access to, but she enjoyed humiliating you like this.“I just sent it, please fuck off for the rest of the day,” you muttered.If you didn’t get out of there, you were going to punch her in the face and you’d be in even bigger shit than usual.Your intention was to wander around and cool off in the hopes of not feeling like becoming one with the porcelain floor tiles to avoid experiencing emotions. But like the alleged weird magic curse cast in this palace decided to fuck around and choose you as its next target, you rounded the first hallway away from your room - tripping over the cameras and lights prepared for whatever they were filming - and were hit by the sight of a woman with grey hair in a familiar purple suit ordering the crew around.You promptly lost your shit.This had to be a mistake. It had to, it had to. This wasn’t real, this was just your pissed-off brain conjuring up things to erase the memory of your dad’s hospital bill in your hands.Solar was somehow right behind you when you turned to flee. Even though you had no idea when or how she got there, you were grateful you had her to help, “Where is Chancellor Mark, I need to speak with him immediately.”Like, faster than immediately if possible.“He is by the portrait gallery.” You experienced her concerned hand on your arm like you were somewhere other than in your body. “Are you alright?”“No,” you whispered.More memories danced a violent number into your brain as you aimlessly fled away from there: your dad’s quiet, amused voice and Professor Song’s loud, chatty one bickering as you sat in the back of their lecture hall, trying to ignore their weirdo debates. Outings where she made it impossible for you to keep headphones in because she always wanted to talk about what clothes you were finding cool. Late night dinners when they were done lecturing that made you wonder why Jessica and Yuna never tagged along.Picking up your dad’s dry cleaning to do him a nice favor for once and finding a woman’s purple suit jacket tucked in the bag.The empty space in your mind of what Professor Song might’ve looked like at his funeral, since you didn’t have enough money to hold one in the first place.Mark wasn’t anywhere near the portrait gallery when you stumbled upon him. Instead, they had sequestered the insanely big entrance hall to do the filming in and he was fussing about with the giggling girls who trying to take selfies instead of listening to him.You grabbed his arm and he huffed, you pulled him away and he huffed, the huffing poured out of him but you still felt desperate enough to confront him, “Mark. That woman in the purple suit, what is she doing here?”Maybe the suit wasn’t purple, your eyes just played tricks on you since that was what you were used to—“The Department of Royal Preservation agreed to one interview with his royal highness which is to be disseminated to all news outlets. I have chosen Professor Joyce Song, a leading historian in the field, to conduct it.”“I see,” you whispered, voice permanently stuck there.The leading historian was no longer alive. But there was a reason why he and Professor Song got along, why half the notes in the diary were annotated and approved by her.Mark huffed one last time to make it clear he did not approve of you questioning his choices, “You don’t agree?”“I… I… Um… I…” You couldn’t make any fucking words come out, not a single one, they all betrayed you when you needed them the most.“Are you feeling alright?” Mark finally got the hint you weren’t being an asshole on purpose.“Fine,” you lied. You were somehow comfortable admitting to Solar you were having a hard goddamn time, but not him. Telling him meant he would tell the prince, if only to frame you as some kind of lunatic, and that was one scenario you really could not handle.You knew where you were going before you registered you were escaping. But what you didn’t expect to see inside the portrait gallery was the prince already there, hunched over his legs where he sat like he was feeling the same weighty things that you were.The thought of leaving didn’t even appear in your brain.You knocked on the frame of the entryway and called for him, “Yo.”Jaehyun flinched hard, lost in his own thoughts to the point that he didn’t hear you approach. When he glanced up, all you could see was unfiltered stress taking over his face and body, until… he saw it was only you there. With no guards and no Mark in sight, the tiniest bit of his stress melted away.“Yo,” he echoed softly.You walked in and sat down on the opposite end of the bench, surprised yet not that he didn’t stop you. You wished you had the dickhead courage you usually did, but everything was covered in this sheen of loneliness… and emptiness.Feeling like you were sitting miles away and impossibly close at the same time, you broke the silence without tearing your eyes away from the floor, “I know why I’m in a mood, but why are you in a mood. Sitting here looking sad, I mean.”You were supposed to say you didn’t give a fuck, but Jaehyun was giving off the energy that this was more than just a princely temper tantrum.His deep sigh shook the foundation of the bench you were sitting on and you had never heard Jaehyun talk so mutedly, “The queries they will present to me during this interrogation were provided in advance. I discovered a number of them were regarding my father and mother.” His lingering pause did unexpected additional damage to your heart, before he finished in an almost-whisper, “I will not know how to provide them with an answer.”You took a look at the wall and realized you were sitting in front of this glorious floor-to-ceiling painting of his parents in their full royal regalia. His father had the same jaw and eyebrows he did, the rest of his soft features were completely from his mother, but what caught your eye more than the visible similarities was that they didn’t appear intimidating in any capacity. Whoever had painted this had done so made them come across as the most gentle people ever, as Jaehyun’s parents instead of the last royal rulers of America.“Yeah, shit,” you exhaled as your mood propelled further downwards. “How are you feeling about that? Sorta lost in all this romaaaance, huh?”The teasing lilt to your tone got him to visibly relax a bit more, but the question was still valid. He had spent the past weeks trapped in this insane dual crash course of becoming a modern human being and navigating the modern femme fatale and no one seemed to give a fuck that he had truly lost everything in order to do so.His fingers clenched into those half-fists before his hand came to linger at his throat, like his breaths, words, feelings, everything, were caught there. “I cannot seem to articulate it properly.”“Want me to try?” You had no idea where that came from. You would normally never do this sappy shit, but you supposed that this sappy shit never hit so close to home before.He shrugged, looking like a sad little puppy. “I suppose.”Fuck….You thought he was going to turn you down and now you had no idea what to say. First of all, you couldn’t even help yourself, and second of all, you definitely didn’t have the kind of deep vocabulary to help someone else.“If I woke up three centuries from now and literally everything I loved about my life was gone, I’d be pretty fucking sad and scared. Also kind of excited? Lots of cool shit to learn about. But it would also make me feel guilty because of the, you know, doing it all on my own thing.” You went through the same crash course in growing up after you lost everything in a similar way. Experiencing teenaged freedom and the illicit, thrilling things you couldn’t before was coated in this brutal regret, that you’d never have someone lovingly police your actions like your dad did ever again.When you pulled yourself out of your shitty pity party, you noticed Jaehyun was staring at you with his mouth open. Both of you were stuck in this deep, immovable canyon where words weren’t quite enough to provide you an escape route.The nervous embarrassment exploded over your skin. “What?”“You are not the most elegant orator, but your words are sufficient enough,” he murmured, an almost-smile pricking at his dimples.After a soft chuckle, you were able to rearrange your thoughts in a proper way, “You can just say it’s a complex amount of human emotion that you’re processing.”You peered down the hallway to where the picture of your doppelgänger was and wished you were brave enough to sit right by Jaehyun. That way, you could read the gold plaque on the side of his parents’ painting together, in search of information you knew you could find in the diary.Your legs shifted an inch off the bench, then his deep voice spiraled everywhere, “What is the cause for your miserable disposition?”Mere minutes ago you were afraid of him finding out the truth and now you were called onto the path of brutal honesty. Thank fucking god he’d been honest first, you’d never had the balls to do it otherwise.Also, you weren’t miserable, you were just lightly depressed. Lol.“Same thing. Kinda.” You had to work up to it, but that was a start.“Would you like one of these gold-wrapped chocolate boluses?”Jaehyun pulled something out of the inside pocket of his grey suit jacket there on the bench, then your feelings of despair prickled with such vivid, historical joy you almost felt tears in your goddamn eyes.“Ferrero Rocher?” you said quietly.“That is how you pronounce the name? Fascinating.” Jaehyun was as gleeful as a small child as he twisted the gold wrapping around in his hands to admire the candy. “I discovered them in the kitchen and they tasted so marvelous I nearly made myself ill consuming the lot.”After a deep inhale you didn’t realize would be so exhausting, you found yourself breathing out, “My dad liked them a lot.”You could still clearly picture the bowl on his desk in his university office. There were never any more than two or three in there, since he could never stop himself from eating them—Jaehyun’s curious words buried themself into your heart, “Your father, who is not here?”Telling the truth now that you had no other choice was going to cut you as deep as it possibly could.“Yeah. The woman in there to do your interview is someone he considered his closest friend. I haven’t seen her since my dad, um, died. When I was fifteen.”Your fingers inadvertently pressed against the back of your ear where you had the sigil piercing in, to feel the first ever tattoo that you’d gotten after he’d died - of the last flock of seagulls above Virginia Beach that you’d seen together with him.“Oh.” The syllable emerged like it was punched out of Jaehyun and he wasted no time being as gracious as possible, “My deepest condolences.”That didn’t feel as fake as it did when the people in your life found out about what happened and attempted to comfort you. His reciprocal empathy did enough to cover him.“It’s fine.” Your fingers ripped out the fraying threads at the hem of your skirt and the smarting sting concealed the stronger hurt that you knew was lurking, “It was a car accident… Two carriages going very fast that crashed?”It was a fucked up feeling, having to explain what a car crash was when you didn’t even understand it yourself. He was supposed to survive, the doctors said he had a good chance of coming home to you. So why did it all have to go so fucking wrong.Jaehyun’s brow furrowed with the heaviness of the conversation, before he plucked out a bruised fruit to share with you, “So. You are an orphan as well.”That wasn’t a term that you’d ever used to define yourself. But with a father who lived in the pages of his journal, a mother who never existed in the grand scheme of things, and a stepmother who wished with all her might she only had one kid, you were an orphan in every sense of the word.“I… yes,” you whispered.“I did not mean to offend. I am finding it challenging to converse with the ladies who can only discuss their families,” Jaehyun admitted in turn.After years of shutting down every conversation possible about your dad with people who pretended like they cared, you could not imagine being constantly bombarded with the image of a happy family like he’d been over the past few weeks.“That’s not wrong of you.” Your reassurance was not coming from the mouth of an employee, but the heart of a… friend… that understood what he was going through, “The ones who can understand that are the ones worth keeping around.”Even though he wasn’t the most comforting or moving about it, Johnny always got that you were sad about your dad and never tried to push you into any more grief. That was one of the things you liked the most about him.Jaehyun moved over half a foot on the bench, barely anything yet enough to make you feel insanely close to him, then posed a question, “How may I go about solving your dilemma?”You shrugged, not seeing a clear answer to any of it. The dilemma was bigger than just seeing Professor Song and not knowing what to say - the more you dove into these sad feelings, the more it felt like you’d never be able to kill them off in the way that you wanted to.“You may try the strategy of expressing a basic sentiment, such as Greetings,” Jaehyun suggested gently, before one of his inelegant, choppy, real laughs burst out. “Ha, the word Yo does not feel as if it would be appropriate.”What a goofy little loser.Sudden, strange relief shot through your veins as you muttered, “Just say hi? That’s so stupid.”In your periphery, you caught when Jaehyun’s shoulders dropped and he quickly turned apologetic, “I am sorry I do not have more to offer…”“No, not you.” Just felt stupid as fuck to be worked up over something so easy.“The easiest sentiments are often the most challenging to express.” Jaehyun took your hand in his, lingering over wave patterns inked on the inside of your knuckles, before he deposited something in your palm. “Perhaps eating the Ferror Rock confection—”“Ferrero Rocher,” you corrected him softly as your fingers closed over the candy.He nodded with solemn understanding, then patted the outside of your hand in encouragement. “I understand. Perhaps eating that will assist you.”His royal highness was better at solving dilemmas than he gave himself credit for.“Split it?”Jaehyun was as surprised as you were when you blurted the sudden offer, but after waiting to make sure you didn’t take it back - you would never, chocolate would do you both good - he nodded with subtle happiness. You split the candy in two and took the hazelnut (it was your favorite part, after all) but made sure he got the bigger piece of chocolate to eat, since his sweet tooth was apparently as strong as ever. The sticky goodness melted over your tongue and brought you the particular comfort of the past that you knew you’d always miss a little.Which was a shield of protection from the sudden, sunny interjection at the doorway, “Your highness, there you are! I just came to begin preparing you with the details before the filming team was ready.”Had you and Jaehyun not talked about your symmetrical misery, you would’ve had a full-on mental fucking breakdown hearing Professor Song’s voice like that.“I’ll leave you,” you said quietly as you knocked your knee into Jaehyun’s. “Thanks for the assist, your highness.”This was it, there was no way for you to escape. The only way out of here involved crossing paths with Professor Song head on and confronting this beast of a memory yourself. There was still a slip of chocolate stained into your tongue, you’d hold onto that for as long as you needed.You got up and fixed your skirt to stall as best you could, yet you still heard a gasp as soon as you pushed the hair out of your face. Heartbeat now escalated into true sprint of anxiety, you held in a breath and turned to make eye contact with Professor Song. She was clutching at the charm on her necklace and staring at you like you were a ghost come back to haunt her.Trembles were evident in the breath she let out, “Blue?”You always fucking hated that she thought she was special enough to call you that. But now it just reminded you of the times your dad bribed you with off-brand clothes and makeup to be nice to his friends.A strange spark of emotion compelled you to glance back where Jaehyun was silently observing the two of you. There was no way you could ask anything and you weren’t sure if he was going to understand what you were seeking, however, his head still dipped in a nod filled with subtle encouragement.So you turned back to Professor Song and smiled, then just said it, “Hi.” —

A complex amount of human emotion: The last Jeong prince speaks on his centuries-anticipated awakening.

You couldn’t lie, modern-day photography made Jaehyun look even hotter than paintings did. After he learned to stop looking directly into the lights and squinting in every shot, the team got some certified banger shots of him. The front page pictorial of Jaehyun in the grey suit you picked out was so goddamn fine you just knew you’d find the newsstand outside the palace torn to shreds by horny women.“Thoughts?”An afternoon of hearing Professor Song’s voice was enough exposure therapy that you didn’t flinch when you heard it. You hadn’t talked much beyond the initial hi and polite platitudes because you were both ‘busy’ and nothing else… To be honest, you were surprised she was still here if the interview was already out in press.Not quite sure what to say, you kept it generic, “It’s a lovely story.”Her easygoing, chatty energy had brought out generic quotes of his that did the job in completing the interview: ‘I long for the departed presence of my parents,’ ‘I do not seek symmetrical power to that which I had,’ ‘I am navigating a complex amount of human emotion as I continue my efforts of living once more.’ But you had a feeling that once you dove into this article, it wouldn’t come close to the discussion you had with Jaehyun while you were alone in the Hall of Portraits.“Once I convinced myself to stop letting everything about this blow my mind, I’d say I was a half-decent interviewer.” Professor Song laughed at herself and you couldn’t blame her, considering every member of the filming crew was unprofessional as hell as they stared at the prince— “He would’ve been better, though.”She didn’t need to elaborate.You pressed your arm into your torso so you could feel the outline of the journal in your bag before you chuckled, “Yes, he would have.”His mind would’ve been even more fucking blown, but your dad was too much of a dedicated historian to not have his shit in line for an incredible interview.Now that the worst bridge was crossed and you didn’t fall into the whirlpool of grief below, you weren’t sure where this was going. Professor Song was having a hard time not staring at your grown up self - the same as before yet so, so different - but eventually, her gaze softened into almost motherly worry. “Why didn’t you reach out to me and tell me you were here? Or at all?”You shrugged.“Did she tell you not to? Honestly, I don’t even know how your father could stand her.”Uh.For someone who spent a good portion of past dinners lecturing you to get to know your stepmother and sister to make your dad happy, Professor Song was not beating the same fucking drum anymore. The wrinkles softly marked into her elegant face lined in a multitude of woven sorrow and anger as she continued to pluck at her necklace.“Well, I’m sure he had his reasons…” You were at a loss for words after that, never truly understanding how your father could be able to love a person that vile. She didn’t hear you because she was still busy ranting, “And he could’ve gotten the stupid university endowment in due time.”Your heart sunk out of your fucking ass so fast that the balance of your body was thrown off. Jaehyun’s face on the newspaper crumpled in your hands as you reached to hold the hallway banister in support.“What?” You had no idea this conversation was going down this path.She was clearly mortified that she’d been so emotional about your dad. “I should not have overstepped.”“No, tell me.”Your dad was your metaphorical best friend back then, but you never had the chance to cross the plane from his child into his actual adult friend. There were still so many things about him you didn’t know.Professor Song glanced around to make sure it was still just the two of you in the hallway, then her chatty voice dipped as low as it could go, “Your step-grandfather was the president of William and Mary at the time, the head of the American history department was the...”“Most coveted professorship in the country at the time,” you filled in the end of the sentence with words you had heard a million times.Your dad’s research started out of pure self-interest and a desire to know more. He didn’t have a fancy education, he certainly didn’t get a PhD from a fancy Ivy League school, nor did he have the money to go traveling around the country to build his resume. But he knew that he was good at what he did, that one day a university would see that he was worth the risk of hiring.“He told me they met at a university recruiting mixer, then the long-barricaded position was opened for consideration shortly thereafter… so long as the president’s widowed daughter and granddaughter were taken care of. I thought it was crazy he fell for that obvious scam, but he was weirdly focused on the man’s inheritance money.”You watched the sadness on her face transform into some obvious distaste and then you found yourself sifting through your dust-covered memories. You wanted to go to a fancy private school that had classes in fashion and makeup design so fucking badly but your dad never had the money to send you there.Then he did.You always thought that was because of his new job, you never saw or heard anything about an inheritance until much later.“Why did you stay?” Her question was vague but you were sure that she’d seen Yuna and Jessica at some point yesterday and put the pieces together.You couldn’t tell her. You couldn’t. It was a secret that had to stay that way.“We became family along the way somehow, like you always said we should,” you lied through your fucking teeth, invoking her own words as your alibi.Professor Song seemed both skeptical and hurt and you were genuinely confused. Maybe there was some outside motivation to get married and snag a better life for the two of you like she was implying, but your dad always treated Jessica and Yuna with such affectionate care. You were a kid when they got married and even you knew that meant that he must've loved them in some way, even if he loved you the most and never tried to pretend otherwise.She put a hand on your shoulder and you tried not to shy away from the physical contact or her caring words, “My number hasn’t changed. Please use it sometime.”You wondered if the offering was for you or for her, but you weren’t a big enough asshole to ask it out loud.“It would help me a shitton if Yuna was picked by the prince. Any advice you could give me?” It was one-third a way to go along with Professor Song’s request, one-third a joke, one-third serious, since she was the closest thing to asking your dad for help.“You don’t need advice from me.” She tapped the journal cover hanging out of your bag and at least you were on the same page about this.“Ha, he wouldn’t approve.”You could just hear his voice grumbling from the front of his lecture hall, Blue, you had the chance to be the prince’s life partner and you decided to p word it away to date a DJ? Did I not raise you right?Professor Song finally smiled at the thought of you scheming like you did before, then she asked, “Are you trying to get the upper hand on your competition here?”Oh.That was…. wrong.It had somehow slipped through the cracks that you weren’t involved in the princess selection process or whatever the fuck the formal name of this was. And you had to make it clear for her, “I’m not involved in this, that’s why I asked you for help. Getting up close and personal with history was Dada’s thing, not mine.”“Hmm. I was sure that you and his royal highness had formed some kind of connection based on how often he chose to look at you during the interview.”Maybe it hadn’t slipped through the cracks. Maybe you genuinely confused Professor Song when you decided to sit in a chair where Jaehyun could see you when he remembered to look away from the lights. You didn’t know why you wasted the afternoon away listening to him talk about how he found pasta strainers and yogurt in cups fascinating… until it got to the real meat of the interview and he was stranded there without anyone to help him navigate his emotions.You knew you had to return the favor after he gave you the courage to say hi to Professor Song in the first place.He was lost for words when she asked about his parents, but when he saw you were there and you gave him the same subtle head nod, he remembered everything that you’d suggested he say. And you were his solid ground for the rest of the interview.The silence that followed your non-answer was the most fucking awkward experience of your life. Professor Song looked like she wanted to die when you didn’t take the bait and laugh along.“I was just hired to coach him on, like, modern slang. Not that kind of connection.” Jaehyun wasn’t your thing, a fuckboy with family problems was still a fuckboy.“I see.” She mused over your answer and you did not want to contemplate why the hell she doubted you—“Lady Chancellor! I need you!”Shit.“Seeya around, dude,” you mumbled.You ducked out of the conversation without a real goodbye and caught a glimpse of Professor Song’s surprised face that you were just leaving like that. But you couldn’t blow your cover in either direction and, unfortunately, your financial obligations compelled you more than your emotional ones. You couldn't say you were going to call the woman like she wanted, but you also couldn't say you were going to erase her existence from your memories going forward.“Who was that you were talking to?” Yuna was curious but thankfully not suspicious of what you were doing, not like she was observant enough to know who Professor Song was anyway.“Oh, that’s the interviewer from yesterday.” Lie, lie, lie, lie, you needed to keep this lifeline connection a secret. You ducked behind her to fix the ponytail she’d done and get your facial expressions in order.“I wasn’t even in front in the picture they took for the article. I cried the whole night,” she sniffled.Tragic. You really wish you cared.You had to get your head back in the game after that strangely emotional conversation, a hard task considering you had to reference something you read in the journal, “So, listen, about the activity today. It was the custom at the time to gift your betrothed a portrait of yourself prior to the nuptials…”“What does that mean?” she asked.There was seriously nothing going on up there.“Back in the day before you got married, a painting of your face would be given to your fiancé.” You really deserved an honorary degree in modern to historical translation. “Do that here, you like pictures of yourself and I think he’ll appreciate it…”“What are you all discussing?”You and Yuna weren’t alone anymore, Lady Eunbi, Lady Dawon, and Lady Solbin were closing in, trailed by the gaggle of faceless other candidates that followed them everywhere they went. It was clear they heard painting, connected it to the activity that had been planned for today, and decided to eavesdrop to boost their chances.Over your dead body.“None of your fucking business.” When your snappy response wasn’t enough for them to take the hint, you shooed Lady Eunbi away with your hands. “Walk away, maybe?”If looks could kill, you’d be hanging out with your dad right about now.You waited until those hoes were out of earshot before you pulled out the journal and flipped to the marked page to give Yuna a few final tips, “The style of painting popular back then was early American realism, known for the muted colors used in many famous portraits. This was in contrast to the vivid landscape tapestries that were created when the country was just starting to be settled.”You decided to skip over the little whale print and your dad’s accompanying comment, If only Blue could understand that art was like makeup, maybe she’d go to a museum with me one of these days. Lol!Yuna was more caught up in where the advice was coming from, “What is that book?”Your dad went to her pageants and drove her to school in the months that he was married to her mother, acted as fatherly as he could without overstepping, and she still never cared to know him.You avoided her attempts to look inside and doubled down on your point, “Just try and do what I said. I can’t help you while you’re painting, it’ll be too obvious.”She put her face in her hands like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and whined in frustration, “I’m stressed out, this is really stressing me out.”It was fucking arts and crafts! If you could do a needlepoint that said johnny i’ll suck ur dick if u ask me out, you’d do it!After giving her the vitamin container and patting her hair in sympathy, you snuck into the back of the room where Mark - in a ridiculous paint-covered apron to match the theme - was giving the introduction, “Welcome, ladies. It was a custom in the seventeen hundreds to gift paintings to one another if you were a couple. Since that’s what you’re striving to be, I thought it might be fun if you took this time to paint something to gift Prince Jaehyun.”You should’ve pitched this whole situation as reality show and gotten famous, lol.Lady Eunbi, of course, was not satisfied with the silly activity, “Why don’t we get anything in return?!”It was beyond hilarious to watch her twist her Cartier bracelets around as a punctuation to her question.“His highness will gift something to whoever he is betrothed to.” Mark finished answering and all of them sat at attention, a unified group of peacocks knowing that this was now a competition. “Do you have any other questions?”“What should we paint?!” Why was Yuna asking?! You gave her the answers! You were two seconds away from self-induced death by paintbrush!Mark was hating every second of this, lmao, the frustrated look on his face was insanely funny. “Whatever your heart desires. Start!” You snuck through the seats and sat in an empty chair close to Yuna’s, doing your best acting job of pretending you were interested in the painting. You had to make sure she didn’t do something stupid, like… paint a unicorn, which wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for her. Committing to the bit meant picking up a brush and going for it like the others, easy enough if you played along like you were creating a makeup look.The blurb in your dad’s journal had also explained how this became a custom, it was complicated as hell but ultimately boiled down to: colonial families wanted to make sure they weren’t getting a straight up uggo for the future son or daughter-in-law and since Snapchat/FaceTime obviously didn’t exist, this was the solution. There was a more romantic bit added in at the end by Professor Song, If the marriage was successful, the couple would then place their portraits together with their wedding portrait in their marital chambers, that made you gag when you read it.However, you weren’t - and never had been - an uggo in your life, so you made sure to paint carefully—“Help!”You glanced over to where Yuna was trying to get your attention and she had… one stroke of pink aimlessly brushed against the blank background.Fuck. You were so fucked.“Like this!” You only had the outline of eyes and a face on your canvas, but you shifted it slightly to show her what she should be doing.Like Lady Eunbi had a honing mechanism built into her brain for opportunities to call you out, you had barely finished speaking when she honed in on you, “Why are you always going out of your way to assist her?”Yuna dropped her paintbrush against her white skirt and almost gave it away when she whined at you for help, so you had to turn on the asshole jets to cover, “Three degrees and you never learned to mind your fucking business?”“I seriously don’t understand why the palace would allow someone with such a nasty attitude to stay here.” You had to give Lady Eunbi her flowers, she could go toe to toe with you as well as anyone.But unfortunately for her, you’d survived a lifetime of dealing with dickheads worse than her, “What? Are you talking about yourself?”“Do you need a loan of money for etiquette classes? Or a course on how not to be sympathetic to hillbillies?”Damn.She went there.You really wished Jessica was there so you’d get some nonexistent brownie points for what you were about to do, because Yuna was tearing the fuck up at being called a hillbilly and that was unacceptable. As much as you and your stepsister lived on different fucking planets, you were the only one who was ever allowed to call her names like that. And you still had the sense to do it in private.You put down your own paintbrush and flashed your best smile at Lady Eunbi. The rest of the room buzzed in confusion that you were taking the high road, which meant you caught them off guard when you snapped, “You’re better off saving that money for yourself. Unless you already spent it all on your major at Harvard, how to be a cunt 101.”Everyone gasped when you used that word, Mark looked like he was going to faint, but you didn’t take it back. You wouldn’t. You never took back anything you actually meant.Lady Eunbi turned back to her canvas, playing it off like she wasn’t hurt, but you could feel the emotional damage radiating off of her. Which meant you could dig in your victory blow, a mocking, “Yeah, focus on your shitty little painting,” that made her lip start to tremble.Maybe a liiiiiiiiiiittle too far, but she started it.At least your defense made Yuna start painting something, though you had no idea what the hell it was.
[1:05 pm] you: SOS
[1:06 pm] you: better be preparing a bail fund for me

You were sure you’d be hearing from Lady Eunbi’s daddy’s lawyer in the next five seconds.

[1:07 pm] nananana BATMAN: lmfao homicide esque behavior from the ladiessss?
[1:07 pm] nananana BATMAN: god i wish i was there

“Ladies!”You ducked behind your canvas and resumed painting as Jaehyun walked in with the palace guards. You had to be as invisible as possible then, just in case you were thrown to the wolves for your bad language.But the women surrounding you only trilled in excitement as they always did when he was around, “Good afternoon, your highness!”It was surprising to see that he’d chosen a regular button down under the black velvet brocade jacket that you’d left for him, but you appreciated the baby steps. Even if he always buttoned up his shirts to the breadth of his neck…. that detail you had to work on. Chest exposure was definitely something that would make the ladies crazy.“You may continue on with your craft, however, I decided I would stop in and take a gander at what you are currently creating—”Lady Eunbi was unfazed by everything that had just happened. In fact, she had enough confidence to interrupt Jaehyun while he was talking, “I painted you as the majestic prince that you are!”Her painting was… you hated every second of admitting this… a pretty realistic outline of Jaehyun sitting in a throne with a massive crown on his head. Ugh, you had to give it to Harvard, they knew what the fuck they were doing.“Hey, I’m also painting him!” Lady Dawon glared at Lady Eunbi and turned her canvas around to reveal a… lopsided outline of Jaehyun’s face. The only thing that made it obvious it was him was the deep dimples carved into his cheeks.“I painted you as well.”“Me too!”As he glanced through the unveiled portraits of him one by one, you watched this peculiar spot of red on Jaehyun’s neck get bigger and bigger and bigger until it crept up into his earlobe and spread everywhere. He sheepishly accepted their compliments and tried to move past them, “I am bowed in two by the gracious flattery you have extended to me. However, has anyone not painted me?”You didn’t, but you weren’t supposed to be fucking painting in the first place.“I painted us,” Yuna warbled out of nowhere. “We’re holding hands!”She’d turned that pink streak into a dress and added some blonde hair on top, then quickly traced in a skinny man by her side that was dressed in dark clothes like Jaehyun always was. Close enough, but why didn’t she follow your instructions to the T? It was supposed to be of her only!“So self obsessed,” you heard Lady Eunbi mutter under her breath. “She’s such a—”You shifted out of your chair to kick hers when she suddenly shut up out of nowhere. Because she was caught up in the sight of Jaehyun strolling by Yuna’s seat in the last row and observing her painting with a soft smile that dipped up into his dimples. “This appears similarly to a… betrothal portrait.”Oh?!You couldn’t spoon feed Yuna worth a damn now, but luckily she had enough thoughts in her head to put a coherent response together, “Yes, maybe you could paint me one in the future?”At least the fluttery eyes and pageant smile were things you didn’t have to teach her.The red stained all over Jaehyun’s ears and his voice got quiet and funny-sounding, “Perhaps. I certainly will not forget this.”Cha-ching! You were so fucking back.A blanket of awkward tension covered the room when Mark encouraged the ladies to continue painting even though it seemed like the entire afternoon had just abruptly ended. You were feeling preeeeeeetty damn good as you watched Yuna paint a heart over her and Jaehyun’s linked hands, and—His deep voice curled into your ear out of nowhere, “And what have you painted on your canvas?”Jaehyun really needed to stop sneaking up on you like that, you couldn’t deal with these weird goosebumps every time he did.The most embarrassing thing of your life was him catching you playing along with the activity of the day and you quickly covered your dried-up canvas. “None of your business, we’re certainly not getting betrothed—” He snatched the painting off of your easel and you were suddenly so pissed off. “What the hell is your issue, dude?!”“I would like to see for myself if you—” It was like you had punched him in the heart (or the nuts!) with how quickly he went speechless. “This is… this… this is…”His dark eyes soaked in every inch of your canvas before he abruptly stared out the door into the Hall of Portraits. As you took a second glance at the unfinished outline of your face on the canvas, you realized you had painted yourself at the same turned-away angle the Lady of the Violets was in her portrait. That was not your intention at all. The streak of gold piercings, the hazy dark blue around your eyes, the blemish of pink and purple mirroring the sunset tattoo on your neck were supposed to be enough differences.Jaehyun could not tear his gaze away from you - not your painting, you - and you felt strangled by a sudden thread of connection you didn’t know existed.“Stop fucking staring, I’m not an artist,” you snapped as you stole it out of his hands, leaving him with a streak of gold paint against his palm. “I know this painting of the ocean is bad.”The lie was a bad one considering anyone could come over and check, but you could not handle reality. Why was everything about this interaction beyond strange? Why had you even done that in the first place? Why were your hands trembling around your canvas at the same pace your heartbeat was roaring at?Jaehyun could’ve stared at you until he slipped into his life's final, permanent sleep. You were unable to move your eyes anywhere else either.Until Yuna’s sweet voice beckoned him, “Come over here, I want to show you what I added. It’s your crown!,” and he hurried away to check on her instead.You didn’t blame him when he avoided you for the rest of the afternoon. That was fucking bizarre. — You didn’t know why the hell you kept coming back to the Hall of Portraits.It’d been two days since the painting nonsense and you couldn’t let go of any of it. You were officially on the path to becoming an insane person and you knew you kept coming back here to convince yourself you didn’t look alike.The more you stood there and stared at the painting of your doppelgänger, the more you couldn’t decide if you were seeing things… or if whoever had painted this reached through the centuries and snatched your face to use as inspiration. You wouldn’t be caught dead in a low-swept bun like this, plus you preferred gold and not pearls, but she was wearing a goddamn blue dress. That color was blue, not purple………….“That was portrait she sent to her husband.”“What the fuck?!” you yelped.It was only Solar, standing there in silence while watching you lose your mind.You had to stop coming here.But she didn’t seem to care how freaked out you were, she continued quietly speaking as she stared at the portrait, “The Lady of the Violets was to be married to the prince the day after he fell into his slumber. When it became apparent his royal highness would not be available to for the marriage, another match was quickly made for her. Our—her parents had this image delivered to her new husband's family.”Your face became even more prominent on the painting, her same-colored eyes got even sadder if that was possible.“She dodged a bullet for sure,” you muttered rudely before you took a moment to change the subject, “Who did she end up marrying?”“An acquaintance of her sister’s.” There was a weird flavor in Solar’s tone you couldn’t place. Almost like she didn't agree with your assessment and wanted to express remorse that the beloved Lady had to marry a not-prince instead.It just made you think of Nayeon’s favorite girl's girl mantra (one she hadn’t actually lived since she’d been in a lifelong relationship): the best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one. Even though Jaehyun was the one who had, quote, gone under. Lol.You hoped Solar wouldn’t be offended if you joked, “That’s real sisterhood, I guess—”“Am I supposed to bow to you now, bitch?”“What?” At first you thought Solar had decided to randomly try out profanity, but there was only one person who could sound that happy calling you a bitch. “Oh my fucking god, no way.”Nayeon dropped her fake LV bag on the ground, flicked up her sunglasses, then held her hands out with a dramatic flourish and announced her presence to the entire palace, “Surprise!” 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You screamed at the top of your lungs and braced yourself when Nayeon launched right onto you in the middle of the portrait gallery. You nearly fell over trying to stay upright, clinging to her in a tight hug as hard as you possibly could.Finally, everything felt right.She had teared up so hard her mascara streaked everywhere, you did your best to wipe it away while laughing in disbelief, “Did my SOS text really trigger you?”Her smile was as blinding and perfect as ever, but she hesitated before she answered, “Yup!”Oh, fucking jeez.That meant Johnny’s alpha male assholery kicked in and he wanted her to come here to spy on you.“He paid for a free trip for me to come see you and not tell him anything. Loser,” she scoffed. At least neither of you were afraid of expressing your mutual hatred for the reciprocal male partners of the BFFFs.“I love your crazy ass.” You messed up her newly-dyed red hair so her bun didn’t look as perfect and this sunny feeling made you think of someone. “Wait, let me introduce you to my friend, Lady Solar.”“Who? One of the portraits you’ve been hanging out with?” Nayeon asked."What?"You turned around, knowing you had to apologize for leaving her out of things while you reunited with Nayeon, but Solar was gone… just disappeared into thin air like she sometimes did.“What do you mean, what?—Wait, whoa. Why does this picture look like us?”Tucked in the same corner was a separate painting you hadn’t noticed before. Of the Lady of the Violets wearing a different blue frock, grinning from ear to ear with a stupid wrinkle by the opposite side of her mouth, holding hands with a second lady in a matching maroon dress. The newcomer looked vaguely familiar, almost like Solar from some angles and like Nayeon from others. You were not sure who the second lady in the painting was - there was no accompanying plaque, only a QR code for the museum’s listening app - but you wondered if this was the sister your dad’s journal kept referencing.“That’s so weird,” you muttered. “That’s the prince’s almost-wife.”“Yo, you can’t let any of those girls see this. They are going to freak out and think that something happened between you two.” Nayeon went in on the teasing before you were ready, you had no idea she even assumed you were here for that. Your face must’ve given it away because she suddenly got all serious. “Wait, something happened?”Were you supposed to tell her that you’d had a hard time falling asleep the past few days because you kept thinking of the way Jaehyun stared at you over that stupid painting?You flashed her the middle finger instead. “No, oh my god. Don’t be like that.”Nayeon’s eyebrows waggled as she got saucy, “I mean, I wouldn’t blame you if it did, I’ve seen all his pictures, the man is fucking—” before literally squeaking, “Oh! Hello, your highness!”Jaehyun - with Mark as his distant shadow - was there watching you two interact with so much curiosity. He was dressed all casual since there were no schedules, his linen shirt was done up as it usually was across his chest and his hair was everywhere on his head. It was, unfortunately, a look that confirmed what Nayeon was about to say... that he was fucking hot.“Greetings.” Jaehyun tried it out and it didn’t seem to work, so he tried again, “Hmm. Yo!”His eyes flicked your way then immediately to the ground, unable to look at you for longer than that.You could tell Nayeon thought he was the greatest little thing since Ryan Gosling in the Barbie movie, she couldn’t stop smiling as she said hello, “Yo, what’s up! I’m Lady Blue’s friend, Nayeon Lim. We’ve been friends since we were, like, loser teenagers together.”That didn’t do your relationship justice, she was the only friend from your private school that stuck around after you dropped out.“He doesn’t know what that means,” you said under your breath, not above doing your job even if you were in this weird spot together.She immediately jumped to making things easy for him and you supposed that’s why she was the nice half of this duo, “We have been acquainted for a long time! Can I hug you? I’m a hugger.”Jaehyun stood there, baffled by what she was asking for, and you whispered at him, “Embrace!”When he finally understood, he grinned from ear to ear like nothing would be better. “Yes, you may embrace me.”They hugged with only a fraction less enthusiasm than your hug had, but it was pretty damn close and they both could not stop giggling. You stood to the side, feeling like it was not that far off from a brother and sister reuniting after a long time apart. Jaehyun even patted her head in the softest little touch when he saw her wild red hair. But something else about Nayeon quickly caught his eye, “Oh? You have markings on your collarbones that are symmetrical.”Over the band of your tube top, your hand quickly covered the tattoo on your collarbone you had no idea he’d noticed, even though he’d stared at you enough to. The strange strangeness from the past two days begin to swirl in your nervous stomach and you could feel the smugness billowing into your best friend, fueling the fire of her previous assumption.“I’m pretty sure tattoos existed back then, right?” Nayeon clarified her question without you needing to remind her, “Permanent markings on your skin through a needle and ink?”Why did she have to be such a competent human being all the time?“Oh, indeed!” Jaehyun nodded with excitement and peered at the line of eight moons when Nayeon offered up a better look. “What is it of? A celestial body of some sort?”“Yes, we—”“Ahem.”Nayeon stared at you like you were crazy for interrupting, but you knew she was going to tell him the story of how you met and that was not for him to know.You were the only two to stay awake through the first lecture of your freshman year astronomy class - she did because she was a nerd, you did because you’d skipped your readings for Fashion History and had to catch up. Years later, when she suggested getting a friendship tattoo, you both remembered the phases of the moon projected onto the skies of your school’s planetarium that you met eyes over.Luckily, she remembered how personally you took your tattoos in comparison to her random flourishes of inspiration, “That’s kinda intimate for our first day meeting. Maybe tomorrow I’ll tell ya. What are you up to today—”You cleared your throat again, “Ahem!”Maybe you were being dramatic, but you didn’t feel like you could spend a day with him. Especially with how you still wouldn’t look each other in the eye.“Okay, I will stop trying to be polite, because my best friend is being an asshole,” Nayeon snarked on purpose, to make sure Jaehyun knew you were the rude one.He took her hand and kissed it, then patted her head one last time as she blushed heavily under his attention, “It was beyond lovely to make your acquaintance, Lady Nayeon.”Then he walked out of the room without a glance or a goodbye to you.See you around, ya fucking dickhead!“Come on, let me show you my room,” you grunted.Arm in arm, you and Nayeon went sprinting through the quiet palace like a band of giggling buffoons, properly ooh-ing and ahh-ing at every fancy vase and chandelier that you passed by. With your friend here, it was like you could finally be your old self again - the sullen and uninterested teenager who would ironically be obsessed with the fancy gothic insides of this castle. It helped that everything had been closed off to tourists and that you didn’t have to police anything about your reactions.“No fucking way, dude,” she gasped once she was inside your room.Nayeon had enough money to pay for your apartment and take Ubers to work occasionally, but  there were still some things her salary couldn’t buy.“I know. I considered this bullshit for, like, two seconds just because it meant I’d be able to keep the room,” you said wryly.You flopped on the bed together and laid there in silence, thinking of how fucking poor you’d been your whole life. You shared a tiny house with your dad and an even tinier apartment with Nayeon when you could escape back to VBeach. Jessica made you sleep in a repurposed pantry in the house in Williamsburg, for fuck’s sake. Becoming a princess literally only had one perk and it was this gorgeous king sized bed—“Ok, so something happened? He barely looked at you when we were in that room.”God damn, you weren’t on the stand in a courtroom. You wished Nayeon could turn her perceptive lawyer goggles off for once in her life, she was supposed to be on sabbatical!You tried to get around answering truthfully, knowing she’d cook you fast, “That’s how we usually are.”“Nah, that was like we fucked each other and didn’t know how to act after energy.” She nudged your elbow with hers two or three times, trying to figure out if she was right about that, too.You almost wished it was that, that’d you’d had sex and were just trying to move on. It was so much easier to get over sexual tension once it it was fucked right out of you, but this back and forth was just… odd. And weird. They were synonyms but you didn’t know what the hell else to call it.“Definitely not that. It’s just…” You rolled over on the pillow to face her, a comfortable little space that every girls’ night was spent in, and you quietly admitted your secret feelings, “You know he was, like, all of Dada’s book. This whole palace feels like there’s a ghost in every corner and I can’t fucking cope with it.”You’d made it so your life was never this serious and now it was like every hurtful detail you worked to forget was lurking no matter what you did.Nayeon’s face lined with such worry. “Then why are you?”You knew that at some point while she was here you’d be spilling the full kettle of truth, but you hadn’t yet talked yourself up to a spot where you felt like you wouldn’t break down or freak out.“Talk about something else, please,” you half-begged. “You’re here and I don’t want to ruin the mood.”Nayeon was your favorite person in the world and you missed her more than anything.She rolled away from you and her eyes fluttered shut. You were ready to shit on her for being lame and wanting to nap, only to be stopped by her muted exhale, “Hong is being an asshole.”“What? Really?” You weren’t surprised that Hongseok was back to his usual shenanigans, just that she admitted to it.“He keeps telling me to quit the firm for good so he can take care of me.”Earlier in the year, Nayeon decided to take a break from prosecuting after a long, drawn out homicide case (that she won!) which really took a toll on her. Hongseok was so obsessed with the idea of having a stay-at-home wife that he started slyly suggesting, then switched to hounding, then demanding that she give up her extremely lucrative legal career for him.What was worse was that she was actually considering it!What was even worse was that the dude only worked one day a week himself, as Johnny’s opener at No Club Tougher! He wasn’t even a real fucking DJ!!!!!!“So break up with him?”“I’ve been dating him for twenty years, Blue.”Yeah, a hugeass chunk of that didn’t count because they were nine-year-olds in the same karate class when they first started ‘dating.’“If he’s not adding anything into your life, then why the fuck are you even putting up with it?” You were genuinely curious to know her answer, because you had been going around this circle for fifteen years out of those twenty.Nayeon shot you the stankiest possible side-eye she could muster. “Are you listening to yourself? I’m convinced you’re deaf to your own words.”You let out a semi-offended gasp that she tried to turn the tables, “Johnny adds plenty to my life—”“That isn’t sex,” Nayeon cut in, anticipating what you’d say next before you’d even thought of it.Strong dick game wasn’t the only thing he had in his favor. He had plenty of boyfriend-esque qualities, like…“He has an apartment.”“That he rents under the table from a weirdo roommate. Try again.”Fuck, she wasn’t wrong. It was saying something that you thought your place was the lap of luxury in comparison to the half-basement dwelling thing that Sehun and Johnny shared.“He has a steady job.”“Which has an expiration date of, um, as soon as he turns thirty-five?”“He’s nice to me!” you burst out when she would not let you win.“No, he’s not!” Nayeon’s frustration exploded and you could feel her self-loathing hidden in it, so you let her go off in hopes it’d make her feel better, “Dude, I get that you’ve been waiting to date him since forever and he’s a break from the shittiness of your real life, but come on. If you want someone who has a weirdo roommate and no job and is questionable towards you, then just date the prince!”Maaaaaaaybe you shouldn’t’ve let her run her mouth.Weirdo roommate? Mark. Check.No job? Just walking around in a fancy jacket and learning that liquid hand soap exists. Check.Questionable towards you? Check, check, checkity fucking check.But it would be absolutely fucking ridiculous for you to acknowledge that there was any kind of overlap between the prince and your not-boyfriend. Because you only wanted one man and no amount of best friend bitching would change your mind.You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed, “No, you’ve seen what everyone here is wearing.”It would be a cold day in hell before a floor-length gown became a wardrobe staple of yours.Nayeon laughed out loud so hard that she ended up snorting her words, “Yeah, I don’t think you could ever rock the wimple. Not enough titty exposure for your liking.”She flicked the side of your boob as she always did when you were annoyed with each other and you countered with a punch to hers. The tense back and forth immediately dissolved into the chaos of giggling and play fighting with each other. Your arguments about this were always serious, but never enough to break the friendship since you knew that no matter how insane it was, whatever the other person wanted was the most important thing. That’s why Nayeon had stayed your best friend for so long, she never cared about anything but your happiness—“How dare you have relations behind the prince’s back?!”The random exclamation scared the shit out of you, so much so you disentangled from Nayeon’s headlock and sat up to see… Lady Eunbi standing halfway into the open door of your room, her perfectly glossed mouth dropped to the goddamn floor.You almost burst out cackling but managed to control yourself, “Is there an issue here?”The definition of hilarious was watching her fumble around for an answer, girlie had never fumbled in her life before this, “No, I thought… I thought…”It was clear she thought two of the other candidates were in here hooking up and she wanted to use that to her advantage. But when Nayeon, clearly not a candidate at all, sat up with messy hair, Lady Eunbi was mortified to the point that you wondered if she was simply going to float away and become dust.“Nayeon, this is Lady Eunbi Kwon, the queen of all the see you next Tuesdays.” Nayeon knew exactly what you were referencing and waggled her fingers in a flirty little wave to keep the pressure on. “Lady Eunbi, this is my childhood best friend Nayeon, who is just visiting.”Her confused stuttering shook every part of her body, “Oh, pardon me… I… I…”And you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make this joke, “What, did you think we were scissoring or something?”Lady Eunbi looked like she wanted to die.Nayeon nudged you to take it easy, before joking in your ear, “Maybe emotional scissoring.”“Shut up, you asshole,” you laughed.Nayeon wasn’t wrong though, she was definitely your deepest and most serious long-term relationship. The second you found someone that made you feel a fraction as comfortable as your best friend did was the person you were meant to be with… if that kind of bullshit really existed.Now fully playing into the drama, Nayeon fluttered her eyelashes at you and poured on the flirting, “You wish you could quit dick for me.”Lady Eunbi was frozen there, watching you two make fun of her, her face going bright red under the layer of pink makeup she already had on. She was clearly not aware that you were both joking, she was not accustomed to this kind of fucking around in her proper, upper-class life!The straw that broke the camel’s back was when you threw your leg over Nayeon’s so you were twisted together in the bed, then called to the door in a sultry tone, “Care to join?”“I do not engage in that inappropriate behavior!”Whew, the defensiveness.Thinking she served with that response, Lady Eunbi stomped her foot (insane!) and stormed off, leaving a Chanel perfume-laced cloud of vengeance behind her. Nayeon could not stop snorting laughing, tears leaked from her eyes as she lost it.“See what the fuck I’m dealing with here?” you vented as you fell back into the bed. “That clown makeup?”Fucking with Lady Eunbi was fun, but you were ninety-nine percent sure she was going to use it to stab you in the back in the future. Or literally stab you. Maybe both.Nayeon didn’t seem interested in your ongoing beef with the biggest bitch in the house, at least not as much as she was with roasting you, “You know what’s good for stress relief?” Her index finger dipped into a hole she made with the fingers of her other hand, then she moved that hand back and forth by her mouth as her tongue pressed through her cheek, mimicking the two lewdest things you could not bring yourself to think about in this context.You got so serious, your rare solemn energy froze up the room, “Can you please understand it when I say that isn’t a thing? We’re very different.”Nayeon was the only one who knew the depths of your financial peril, who felt how deeply the gravity of paying it back on this glacial timeline was taking a toll on you. Even if you were struck with deluded hallucinations and decided you wanted this relationship to happen, there was no way you could be the kind of easygoing, put-together princess that Jaehyun was looking for. You couldn’t even scrape the edges of your life together.She sunk back onto the mattress and threw an arm over you so you were tucked in a warm hug that you couldn’t escape. When she felt the tension seep out of you, she whispered into your hair, “Yeah, I get it. Sorry. I just fucking missed you, bitch. My sister for life.”Things felt so much better with her around.“I’m so happy you’re here,” you whispered back. “You’re my sister for life.” — Nayeon’s foot knocked into yours for the thousandth time and you glared at her so hard she almost fell off her chair.“What exactly are we waiting around for again?” she hissed, beyond impatient. “I wanna go explore.”You glanced at the dressing room to make sure there were no surprises, then hissed back, “I have to approve his highness’s outfits. He’s spending time with Yuna today, need to make sure they’re not clashing so her head won’t explode.”She’d decided to wear baby pink (specifically more pink than baby, whatever the fuck that meant) on their scheduled introductory date today. If you’d allowed Jaehyun to walk out in the forest green jacket that caught his eye, you would be sent to the modern-day firing squad. AKA your stepsister would flame you on Instagram and then her mother would definitely shoot you.Nayeon rolled her eyes, knowing very well how much fucking time you’d wasted on this before. “You might need to scoop his brains out for that one.”Three hundred years asleep without thinking was an appropriate handicap for hanging out with Yuna.And you just knew what she was going to ask next, “Also, are you gonna talk to him today?”You and Jaehyun had a pleasant enough conversation when you showed up at his room, but the surface-level stuff was making it worse. He said he didn’t enjoy the clouds, you said you didn’t either, he joked about the eggs at breakfast, you said you didn’t eat them. You had to figure out how to get past this weird barrier and back to the era where you were both vaguely tolerant and friendly with each other.“Maybe. If I want to—”“Lady Blueberry, however might you deem this?”You ignored Nayeon’s surprised glance that you didn’t correct his butchering of your nickname and definitely ignored when she stared at how close he got to your chair. He was wearing a white suit jacket and matching shirt, with the black pants and boots he stuck to every day, and had even done his hair with the soft curls by his ears.Unfortunately, hot. It was very James Bond of him.“This is fine, but…” His face fell when he thought you were going to shit on him and you raced to finish your thought, “Just swap the white jacket for a light pink one.”His eyebrow shot up with real curiosity. “Pink? That is a masculine color?”Whew, you were not ready to teach a class on colonial to modern day color-gender discourse and Mark waved you off from the door for trying to push it.But you couldn’t miss the chance to shift things in your favor, so you pleaded with him sweetly, “I think she might find you handsome in it.”“Alright.” Jaehyun bought the excuse, though he didn’t exactly seemed thrilled by the prospect of Yuna’s opinions.He went about changing his jacket, making sure to disappear into the dressing room even though he wasn’t technically taking his clothes off in front of you. The second he was gone, your phone dinged with a message.

[9:45 am] nananana BATMAN: why arent u telling him shed care cuz shes the biggest dumbass ever?

The one downfall of having a ‘don’t lie no matter what’ friendship was that nothing got past Nayeon, especially if you were being shady about things. That plus years of honing her legal skills must’ve made it obvious that you skipped out on your typical anti-stepsister agenda.

[9:47 am] nananana BATMAN: btw the textbooks were right hrh prince jh is 🍑💪🏻🔥👀 
[9:47 am] you: get a fucking life bitchsdfsdfj

Letters went flopping everywhere on your scrambled screen when Jaehyun’s words and quiet breath slipped against your skin, “Whatever is that?”The goosebumps that coated the bare back of your neck were insane, you could feel them spreading under the straps of your slightly more conservative cropped tank top. They doubled when you took a peek at his changed outfit and saw that the pink jacket complimented his skin nicely, making him look like a pretty plucked peach.You shrugged like you didn’t give a fuck - which you didn’t, don’t get it twisted - and answered, “I’m sending a text message to Nayeon.”Jaehyun had never looked more confused in the time you’d known him, doubly so when he pointed to Nayeon as if you couldn’t see her. “For what reason? I am able to observe her presence from where I am standing.”“‘Cause I need to talk to her about things I can’t say out loud,” you muttered, flashing her the middle finger as she pretended she wasn’t eavesdropping on every second of the conversation.“What things?”“That defeats the purpose of not saying them out loud.”“Regarding myself?”Why was he so fucking smart? There was no reason for Jaehyun to figure out that quickly he was the only one in the room you’d needed to gossip about.Nayeon cackled when you were caught in this trap, you felt the guilty laughter bubble up as you denied him, “Definitely not.”Out of nowhere, Jaehyun smiled at you so brightly you were almost blinded by the strength of his smile. His eyes disappeared with his sudden happiness and the tension in his face made a thousand little wrinkles push out by his nose as he spoke, “The expression on your face belies the falsehoods you give me.”You had no idea what he was trying to say but figured you had to protest, “No, it doesn’t.”He let his fingers float in the air around the vicinity of your lips and a nervous surge of electricity crashed through your spine. “The corner of your mouth folds under a crease whenever you attempt to suppress your joy or amusement.”Your wrinkle? Was he talking about your fucking wrinkle?!A half pivot away was enough to ensure he couldn’t see it, before you denied until you were blue (lol) in the face, “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”If he started calling you Frowny too, it was over…That change in angle plus Jaehyun having the grabbiest hands ever ended in the worst possible way: with him stealing your phone and reading the message out loud as literally as possible, “B. T. W. The textbooks were right his royal highness Prince Jaehyun is peach arm fire eyeballs?”K. M. S., seriously.You had never been this fucking embarrassed in your life and you were not even the one who even sent the message in the first place! You just… vaguely agreed with it… maybe… maybe not!Jaehyun waited for an explanation and you flashed him the peace sign in response, which he absolutely did not understand. He glanced over to Nayeon, still laughing and not helping at all, and used a self-deprecating haughty tone, “Lady Nayeon, an order from your prince.”She put her hand in the air like she was on trial, then bamboozled him with legal speak, “I will invoke what is enumerated in the fifth amendment to the Constitution, which says I can refuse to answer any questions in the face of interrogation.”Thanks to the American government for that one, first time those words were ever said.That meant it was up to backstabbing, loyal Mark to do the interpreting you both refused to, “You look like a peach because of your pink skin, you’re strong, and you’re hot. Er, hot means…”Your only consolation was that Mark was flushed as fuck with embarrassment, trying to figure out how to explain the modern, non-temperature meaning of hot to a man older than he was.Jaehyun was more concerned about something else, “How might you explain the eyeballs?”Yeah, what the fuck was up with the side-eye your best friend was sending.“You have nice eyes,” Nayeon took one for the team and teed up the easy lie. Which was technically true… even in paintings, Jaehyun had the most gorgeous dark brown eyes. And you knew then what her message was implying: that she was not going to let go of her Bluety and the Beast agenda until it actually happened. Or both of you died.“Do you care to make a late entry into the proceedings?” Jaehyun teased her with all smiles and no serious intention whatsoever. You were supposed to be shocked that he was shutting down the chance to bag another super hot chick, but for some reason… you weren’t.Nayeon waved a hand in his face and scoffed, “Oh, no. I’d be into the girls more anyways.”“One can do that in this day and age?”Jaehyun’s innocent comment floated through the room and Mark choked on his own exhale. Fuck, first you had discourse over the color pink and now you were going to have to explain why Nayeon was a bi icon? You really hoped the blurbs in your dad’s journal implying Jaehyun was once an open minded political leader were true!“Yes, super normal!” you answered with a false sense of cheer.Just as Mark babbled the same thing, “Not at all out of the ordinary or controversial!”And it kinda sucked that you had to waited with baited breath to see if he’d crush your image of him....“I understand. Quite progressive.” Jaehyun's head moved in a thoughtful nod as he processed the information. “I came upon some peasants in my time that shared similar sentiment, albeit in secret. I offered them my support.”Huh.“It’s giving ally.” Nayeon whispered, clearly impressed. So were you.“No, I said I offered them support,” he corrected her, not understanding what she was saying for a second. Before it struck him and his face lit up with total joy. “I suppose that did make us allies.”The last Jeong prince was a gay ally back in the day? Surprising… and hot. The bar was in fucking hell, but it wasn’t something all modern men were cool with, so… Definitely hot.Nayeon was so pleased he was on her side that she made it her mission to help you out, “Yo, you should tell Yuna that she looks mad fire emoji today.”“Pardon?”“Mad. Fire. Emoji.”“Mad. Fire. Emoji,” Jaehyun obediently parroted, despite having no idea what the hell Nayeon was saying. “Whatever does that mean?”Mark snapped to get your attention and hissed under his breath, “Do you really think it’s good to be teaching him these things?”Yeah, talking like this was going to have the prince’s brain as mushy as yours in a matter of days. But if the goal of this was to have him assimilated into regular culture by the time he got married, there were certain sacrifices you were going to have to make.You flashed the sigil earring pinned in your ear and said, “Chancellor of Culture,” before waving an arrogant hand his way, “Chancellor of Whatever.”Mark just had to trust you with this, though that was hypocritical as fuck considering you didn’t trust him with anything—Yuna flounced into the room out of nowhere and without knocking, already thinking she had the privileges of being his wife. But she went from smitten to shocked in a second, “Prince Jae, I—What are you doing here?”She really dared to look upset with you when she saw who you were with? Did she still not understand that Nayeon was always going to be on top of your friend ladder? It wasn't Yuna's fault, she was a decent enough stepsister-acquaintance, it was just… Nayeon got you in a way she never could.“What on earth is this slimy—” Jessica walked in and caught herself just in time to exchange one foul adjective for a better one, “sensational young woman doing here to visit?”Nayeon was poised to give her the stank face - there were times you were convinced she hated Jessica more than you did - but you had to get her to stop. There was no way you wanted Jaehyun or a suspicious-looking Mark to pick apart how Jessica knew who Nayeon was. You’d claim a chance palace meeting and die on that hill. So you cleared your throat to get Nayeon to lighten up and she droned along in performance, “Great to meet you, what’s up?”The room dropped into dry silence as Jessica and Yuna tried to secretly signal for you to leave so she could go on her date with the prince. But neither you nor Nayeon were going to budge until you were shoved out of the room.Jaehyun took a deep breath, maybe nervous about something, maybe not; you braced yourself for brisk removal before you heard him say, “Lady Yuna, today you appear mad fire emoji.”LOL.Like, seriously, LOL. As soon as they were gone, you were going to explode laughing.Yuna beamed in surprise like he’d just proposed to her. “Really? You think so? You really think so? OMG, you look mad fire too, your highness.”“Oh?” Jaehyun was shocked that the ridiculous thing Nayeon taught him worked out in his favor. “I heard that you had an excursion in mind just for the two of us?”Kite flying! you mouthed behind his back when Yuna’s eyes slipped to you for help. There was a dedicated chapter on the prince’s hobbies that you couldn’t’ve been assed to read completely, but kite flying was the first thing mentioned. You hoped that that wasn’t something Jaehyun only enjoyed as a kid.“I thought we could fly some kites!” Yuna repeated.Nayeon’s befuddled stare re-activated and burned against your head.Jaehyun saved you by babbling out his excitement at a thousand MPH, “Kites?! I have a wonderful story to relay regarding a gentleman I became acquainted with, who flew a kite with a key on it—”Wait. What?You watched the two of them frolic away with Jessica and Nayeon laughed in disbelief, “He knew Benjamin fucking Franklin?”What other man was there who flew a kite with a key?!?!?! This was insane.Before you could process the fact that the dude on the hundred dollar bill was probably Jaehyun’s bro in his previous life, Nayeon tugged you over so you could have a private conversation, “Okay, you gotta tell me what the fuck is up. What was that?”Fuck.“I would like to know as well,” Mark chimed in, from where he hadn’t left the doorway. “You’re not funny,” you sneered and he made a mocking face right back. “You’re not.”While Jaehyun hadn’t picked up on anything weird in that two minute interaction with your fake family, Mark had.... and he wasn’t going to leave until he got more details. Sadly for him, you and Nayeon had mastered the art of the secret convo from maybe the second day you were friends.Phones out.

[10:23 am] you: i got head bitch to agree that i'd be done w all this if dumbass wins

Nayeon’s gasp was so loud you were sure your friends in VBeach could hear, “What?!”Mark stood on his tiptoes trying to see your screens, so you lowered yours and your voice, “I know,” then flashed her a particular expression that she'd understand meant you were serious about this.

[10:26 am] nananana BATMAN: wait theres no way she actually agreed to that? whats the catch?

Every morsel in your body froze into this abrupt, burning chill when reality wielded its sword against you. Were you really this stupid to think that there wouldn’t be a catch? Jessica agreed. Nayeon began typing in an enraged hurry and you knew you weren’t ready for what she’d send.

[10:28 am] nananana BATMAN: oh come on
[10:29 am] nananana BATMAN: dont tell me you didnt think she could be lying?
[10:31 am] nananana BATMAN: this woman made you PAY FOR YOUR DEAD FATHER’S MEDICAL BILLS, SO MUCH SO YOU BASICALLY WENT BANKRUPT

“You don’t think I know that? I just… I…” Tears pricked into your eyes and you lost track of the point you were going to make.You still had the figures of every hospital bill burned into your brain, alongside the sparkling 0 of your bank account after you’d emptied it all. Fixing him up after the car crash was one thing; but as he got worse and worse with no explanation, the treatments piled on, adding more and more zeros to a debt you couldn’t afford. Asking Jessica to use her money or access her father’s fortune to help was something you’d rather eat shit than do, but the other alternative was to have the doctors not save your dad. So you begged her to pay.And you’ve been paying ever since.“Easy. Easy, sorry.” She comforted you and threw a hand around your shoulder so that you didn’t have to suffer in silence. “I didn’t mean it like that.”Only you knew the depths of Jessica’s greed and you were holding out hope it would eventually work in your favor.

[10:34 am] you: these ppl have more money than ANY of us could dream of
[10:35 am] you: if she wins she will get all of it and can clear this debt
[10:35 am] you: if they somehow fuck me, then maybe the prince will gift me the money for giving him his wife

You’d ask for a massive lump sum at the end and call it your employment fee, even though Jaehyun had been steadfastly paying you by week as you’d requested. And if he didn’t bite on honoring your ‘friendship’ or whatever this was, you’d beg.You were, unfortunately, not above begging.

[10:36 am] nananana BATMAN: And what if it doesn’t work out the way you want?

You wished then you never knew the meaning of the word jaded, so you could be stuck in the bubble of ignorant optimism that Nayeon had popped. The truth was… you didn’t know what would happen. And you had to make sure you would never find out. — “What do you think the boys are doing now?”It was eight-thirty on a Friday night, prime time for a pregame, but you were laying in your bed, eating fried puff pastry and drinking wine like you existed to do nothing else.“Hong is probably waxing his chest hair.” Nayeon’s answer wasn’t an exaggeration and you both cringed at the thought of his typical pregame prep. “Johnny, I’m sure, is looooooovingly staring at your portrait in preparation for his time at the club.”The sarcasm hit you like a bag of bricks. If you weren’t physically there with him, he was going to forget you existed the moment he stepped foot inside No Club Tougher.“Go to hell,” you grumbled.She peeked out from folding your clothes in the closet with a lecherous grin on her face. “He texted me asking what we were doing.”That wasn’t because he was interested in what you were doing as a reunited friendship duo. He wanted to know what you were doing, or more specifically, who you were doing.“Wait, I’m so drunk I didn’t answer him!” You heard her struggle to hit the voice recording on her phone, before she bellowed into the receiver, “Hey, you want to know what we’re doing? We’re here hanging out with guys and girls who are hotter than you both!”You could picture the salty look on Hongseok’s face and snorted, “They’re going to love that.”“I honestly think this is a thousand times cooler than us going to the club. Those portraits? It’s so interesting to see how faces can stay the same from generation to generation...”“Legacies linger more than you know.”“Whoa, when did you get here?!” you yelped when you saw Solar on your side of the bed, holding out a fresh, full glass of red wine for you. You were happy to have her join girls’ night but you didn’t want her to scare the living shit out of you for the rest of it. She was always so goddamn quiet while sneaking in and out to help.“I am here to offer you more wine.” She pointed to the shiny blue bottles that had somehow appeared on your nightstand. “This was a personal favorite of the Lady of the Violets.”Oh, this was getting weird again.Nayeon came out of the wardrobe with a flourish, wearing a silk muumuu like Solar's that made her look ancient, then her face lit up in surprise. “Where’d you get all this wine from? Did it just show up?”You checked again and Solar was gone. Huh?Lady Eunbi walked by at the exact moment you sat up to figure out if Solar just disappeared into your bathroom to not make a scene. You had to change gears because you could tell drunk Nayeon was looking for a tussle and as she crept to the door, you warned her, “Don’t give them any ideas we’re being unserious—"“Yo, your makeup looks bad!”Fuck!“Shut up!” you gasped in horror before scrambling out of bed and pulling her away from the door.But it was too late, Lady Eunbi was on the warpath, specifically for you, “What did you say to me?!”The blue eyeshadow and dark red lipstick combo was way too much, even if she had sort of tried to match it to the muted colors of her navy gown. But she def had a vendetta against you - you’d never make that bitchy of a comment out loud!“Sorry. I’m fucked up. Like fuuuuuucked up. But I’m just trying to look out for you.” Nayeon slurred every word as she patted Lady Eunbi’s shoulder and said with utmost seriousness, “If I was a dude, I would not want to fuck you. And I guess you really want the prince to fuck you.”She punctuated her statement by dotting her forehead against Lady Eunbi’s and the other woman flinched so hard when their skulls clanged.Through your gritted teeth, you tried to give your best friend a subtle reminder, “That’s not what we’re going for hereeeeeeee.”“I’m sorry, your sister aside, this is just girl code.” Nayeon needed to stop being a 24/7 committed girls’ girl! It was okay if a loser you didn’t like went on a date with the prince looking less than perfect! This wasn’t a sad girls rescue organization!“What? Sister?” Lady Eunbi wondered.Fuck! Again!“Like she said, we’ve had some wine.” You pulled Nayeon back into the room in hopes to shut her up before she revealed your secret, then shooed Lady Eunbi away, “Continue on.”But she didn’t leave.You assumed she was going to call the guards and flame you for drinking wine… until you saw Lady Eunbi’s lip tremble and her worried words poured out, “What am I supposed to do? I’m having dinner with the prince in half an hour, this is always how I do my makeup.”Unfortunately, it didn’t read to you as a pathetic sob story, which meant that you had accidentally struck against a big insecurity of hers. If you were an actual nice person you were supposed to apologize and comfort her.You shrugged instead. “Tough luck—”“Blue’s basically a makeup artist.” Nayeon babbled, her filter completely gone as a result of the royal wine. “Like full on fucking Picasso with them powder thingies.”“I’m killing you!” you hissed.Was she trying to give you a heart attack, stroke, aneurysm, and… whatever else was considered a bad medical episode… at the same time?!“Are you really?” Lady Eunbi turned on the etiquette and shot you a sweet smile to get you to help. When you deflected with the coldest I’m not doing a goddamn thing unless you ask glare, you witnessed the biggest bitch in the palace swallow her pride and request humbly, “Will you please fix my makeup?”You were going to savor that for fucking forever.You moved away from the door and gestured inside. “Step into my lab.”It was hilarious, watching Lady Eunbi tiptoe into your room, thinking that you were luring her into a weird sex dungeon or whatever. Her eyes kept skittering around your sneakers and clothes thrown everywhere, but once Nayeon gave her a friendly pat on the back, she let go of her terrified deer energy to sit in the chair by your mirror.One glance at her face up close and you knew what the problem was, “You have delicate features, you need to tailor—”“How dare you insult me when you look like that.”That must’ve slipped out of her mouth on instinct, because she cowered in fear as soon as the last t in that had stopped echoing. Nayeon shot you a drunken, warning side-eye glance, anticipating your hostile energy before it exploded, but it never did. You were…. weirdly calm in the moment, after seeing the reflection of your suppressed angry energy in Lady Eunbi.You pushed her back in the chair and held her face so you could get a better look at the shade of blue she used on her eyes. Then you whacked her with a gentle scolding, “I am the hottest person here and you know it. That’s why you’re such a fucking asshole to me all the time.”Her jaw clenched under your hands and you were surprised that she silently admitted to thinking that. You were just being an egotistical douchebag, but so much of this made sense now - your existence was probably driving her fucking nuts.Nayeon popped her head into Lady Eunbi’s line of vision and backed you up, “You know, you could tone down the bitchiness.”“Sorry.” An apology from her was not what you expected. “It’s just what I became accustomed to, in order to survive the competitive environments I grew up in.”It was hard for you to remember that the girls were viewing this whole process as the biggest competition of their lives… since being around Jaehyun felt like you were just two people hanging out together (ignoring the weird energy you’d been sharing lately!!!!!)Nayeon laughed at her, “Do you even hear yourself? Half the fucking people we know would kill to be in those environments.”Half the fucking people you knew were idiots who couldn’t survive in any environment outside of a club, but she had a point.“At least you can do whatever you want,” Lady Eunbi pointed out.You started wiping away some of her lipstick to silence her while you made your argument, “Did you hear her? We’re poor as fuck. That’s a different level of poor.”Freedom didn’t mean anything when all you could afford for a vacation was a bad road trip across the Virginia state border.“You’re still free. I get engaged to the prince or I get engaged to this fucking loser guy….” You and Nayeon exchanged surprise glances the when that surprise profanity slipped out of your new companion. “…I’ve known my whole life. Who, despite growing up in the modern age, seems to know way less about being a man than his royal counterpart does.”She grabbed the wine glass off your nightstand and downed it. You were about to open a portal into a strange new universe where you somehow had sympathy for Lady Eunbi.Because she was not done yapping - you were sure if you fed her drinks all night you’d get every secret the girl ever had, “Drinking Red Bull might kill the prince, sure, but I’d rather be married to him and not have my parents shouting at me about how incompetent I am. So… gotta eliminate my competition, just in case.”Huh.Everyone had their own agenda here, but it was interesting to realize that no one seemed to give a real fuck about Jaehyun. They were just there for the perks of being with him.Nayeon nodded in understanding and you knew she was going to soften when you saw the sparkling tears in her eyes, “I mean. We have to respect the hustle.”“Pfft. No, we don’t,” you countered.You did. It would be exactly what you did in her situation.Though you didn't say anything, you picked up your eyeshadow brush and started to coat the blue on Lady Eunbi's eyes with a softened grey, your version of an olive branch that you would never acknowledge. The balance away from the severe tones would melt into her face and accent her eyes, instead of making them stand out in a bad way.“You are so interesting to me, you know.” Lady Eunbi’s voice was so fascinating to listen to when she wasn’t insulting you, very gravelly and thoughtful as she picked her words out, “You were in the room when he woke up, you had a real chance of being his princess. And you turned it down to do whatever this is?”You gripped the brush hard to prevent your suddenly shaky hand from streaking the color everywhere.“I turned it down because I…” Thought the idea of a true love curse was bullshit? “… have a boyfriend.”Cringe.“No, you don’t,” Nayeon denied right away, hoping to keep you out of La La Johnny Land.Yeah, that was bad.But what else were you supposed to say? Your friend with benefits, who sometimes gave you more benefits than friendship, who you wanted as your boyfriend while he was on the fence? Didn’t have the same ring to it.Lady Eunbi was shocked to find that out, “What do you mean a boyfriend?”“I thought everyone knew I had a boy that I was seeing. Dating. Whatever. Also, do you seriously think that I want to be a princess?” You stopped what you were doing for a second so that Lady Eunbi could take a good look at your disbelieving face. Could she picture it on a portrait on the wall with a crown over your head? You sure as hell couldn’t.In a twist, she said something actually nice, “Princess Aurora wore longsleeves, she could’ve had tattoos under there.”Nayeon snorted in laughter just as you cackled. Sure, Sleeping Beauty definitely had full sleeves of her favorite woodland animals under her dress.You hacked right to the base of this argument, “Why would I exchange being poor and free for being rich and not, for a stranger I barely know?”If you ever decided to make that idiotic decision of falling in love and getting married, it would be with a person you loved so completely you couldn’t care how your life turned out as long as you were with them. And you didn’t see that person manifesting anywhere.“Touché.” Lady Eunbi finally saw your point, even if it was clear that she didn’t believe it.As you got about to taking down her blush with concealer, Nayeon elbowed you in the ribs and slurred in your ear, “Your dad would take major issue with that, hoe. He would’ve sold you off himself.”Tender, soft warmth curled up your spine as you kept covering up the pink. Of course your dad would have pushed you towards the prince, he always wanted to steer you in the direction of a gentleman, eternally worried your punk-goth phase was going to stick around. And to find out the gentleman could possibly be the historical figure that had fascinated him for forever?Oh, it’d be so over for you.Lady Eunbi was confused at the dark joke, “Sorry, was that supposed to be funny?”“My dad was a history professor,” you admitted to her as you brushed her cheeks with a gentle hand. “He was writing a book about life in the seventeen hundreds when he died.”No way in hell did you ever think you’d tell her something like that. But if it got her on your side, then why the fuck not?“Oh. So sorry to hear that. I didn’t know.” She couldn’t look you in the eye and you were close enough to see the tears beading on her eyelashes. You wondered if she was a sympathetic crier, a funny trait for someone so cutthroat to have.You rolled your eyes and teased her, “When would you have had time to listen to my sob story when you were being a bitch to me?,” before you gave her one last stroke of foundation on her nose and announced, “There, you’re done.”Lady Eunbi had barely looked at herself in the mirror before she was gasping, “Oh… oh my goodness.”Nayeon threw her arm around you and let out a victory holler, “What did I tell you? A fucking genius!”She’d had the right idea using darker colors to complement the dress but you figured out that she’d done so to prepare for a camera flash instead of the softness of everyday lighting. All you needed to do was pull the dramatic color back to where her features were the most subtle, not over where they were prominent, and the look evened out to being elegant and neutral.Lady Eunbi couldn’t believe it, couldn’t stop staring at herself. “However can I thank you?”You couldn’t believe it either, just how good this had gone in your favor, “Maybe cut us a break sometime. Not all the time, since I’m definitely never going to do that for you...”“Sis!—Lady Chancellor?”God fucking damn.The pleasant vibes in the room stewed into some seriously awkward tension when Yuna and Jessica barged in with no announcement, making it clear to anyone that there was some kind of relationship here. You pulled the most obvious face of disgust to make it seem like they were intruding as strangers and it was not something you were used to, then hoped to god it worked.Thankfully, Jessica still had half a functioning brain and fit her scolding around your story, “Why are you doing Lady Eunbi’s makeup in your bedroom? Aren’t you a palace official?”The friendly moment was over and Lady Eunbi was back on her bullshit, “What did you call her? Sis?”You ignored everything and just stuck to the original line of questioning, “Because she asked me to and she was just leaving?”Please! Take the fucking hint, lady!Lady Eunbi was no dumbass, she knew the request to get the fuck out when she heard it, and she had better things to do anyways. “Yes, I am seeing the prince tonight. He invited me to share a romantic dinner with him.” She made a big show of pressing up the bounce of her cleavage in the gown, which Nayeon blushed at for some weird reason. She’d seen worse? She’d worn worse herself? Never mind that, Yuna was steaming mad by the time Lady Eunbi gave the room a flirty wave goodbye. “Have a good night by yourselves, everyone!”The mind games… you did have to give her props for that.Jessica pounced on Nayeon the second you were alone, “Go away.”Nayeon’s sad, drunken whine sliced your eardrums and you stood in front of her, animal on the prowl. “Don’t talk to her like that, who do the fuck do you think you are.”Jessica was so mad she apparently didn’t care if there were witnesses to her ripping you to shreds, “Who do you think you are, helping a girl who’s in direct competition with my daughter?!”“I can’t make it obvious I’m only helping you.”“Yes, you can.”“She almost blows it and calls me her sister every goddamn time—”Yuna worried over the possibilities of what might happen in the rest of the night, “But you made her look gorgeous before an intimate evening date?”Thank you, Lady Eunbi did look gorgeous because of your work. You’d take that as a compliment.“If he wants to have sex with her, he’s gonna have sex with her,” Nayeon blared from behind you, filter still nowhere to be found. “She could go either way, but she probably wants it, too.”You weren’t sure if that second sentence was supposed to be an innuendo or what, but a frog of concern leapt up and settled into your throat. Somehow the connection hadn’t formed in your brain, that a late night dinner definitely could mean late night activities. You could give him all the warnings you could think of, but the prince was going to do what the prince was going to do.An evil-hued lightbulb went off over Jessica’s head and she turned to her daughter to order, “Yes, you should try to have sex with him. Men can’t resist that.”Was she aware how shitty she sounded? You couldn’t believe it.Yuna burst into tears, “No, no! I want to be engaged before we make love!”Oh, fuck. Why did this night turn into such a fucking disaster.Nayeon took that moment when no one was paying attention to slink away and you tried to clear your head to do damage control here. How could you be realistic and encouraging at the same time, all while wrestling with these personal unpleasant feelings?You grabbed your stepsister’s face and squeezed her cute cheeks so that she’d focus on that instead of crying. “Look at me. He is fond of how charming and sweet you are. But you’ve known this whole time he’d be dating the others. Just focus on being your good, wonderful self and there’s no way he won’t want to marry you. You're what guys like.”Things hadn’t changed through any of centuries. It seemed like men still preferred to sleep around with the wild girls and then settle down with the girl ready to be a wife. No matter how fucked that was.“And if I have to do a little work as a double agent to get him to see that, then so be it.” This part was true, Yuna winning Jaehyun over was as good for you as it was for her. “Take your happy pills, get some sleep, and let me help you look all pretty for him in the morning.”You pressed your thumb into one of her tear tracks to comfort her. Like that sprinkled magic right into the air, the stress melted out of Yuna’s face and she hugged you, happy and convinced again that she had a shot at winning his heart. Over her shoulder, Jessica’s glare was fueled with the an entire galaxy of flaming stars and she mouthed, Watch yourself.But you weren’t fucking scared of her. You just waved goodbye as they left your room. Lol.You made your way back over to Nayeon, who looked dead asleep on your bed. But as soon as you sat down, she was back on your case, “You don’t believe any of that shit you said, right?”Hard to say.You were comparing a historical fuckboy with strangely progressive tendencies to the modern day breed of fuckboy that only ever looked out for themselves. It was impossible to deny that there was a small, stupid part of your brain hoping that Jaehyun would prove everything you just said wrong.You rolled your eyes at her. “Please, can you imagine Hongsuck settling down with a nice girl?”“Can you imagine Johnny settling down at all?”Brutal. She always knew how to hit you, lovingly, where it hurt the most. — You were on your way to lunch the next morning, deep in thought about the museum bit of the palace and wondering if your dad was quoted in there… when you ran right into Yuna and Jessica.Literally the worst possible way to start the day.But there was no avoiding them, so you awkwardly found yourself apologizing, “Sorry, I missed that you were having lunch already.”You weren’t hungover - wine never got you - but you had the weirdest fucking dreams all night. You kept looking in the mirror as you did your makeup and in the background of it, you could see Lady Eunbi and Jaehyun laughing together across a beautiful dinner table, covered with flower petals and folded bird napkins. Every time you glance at your outline instead, you were shrouded in this dark blue dress that felt like it was choking you from the outside in. You wished your dad could've made an appearance to help, but you never seemed to be able to dream about him.Like you said, weird.“We’re done!” Yuna had gotten over her dark mood enough to be chirping about bullshit again. “Going to the salon to get my hair re-dyed before the museum event tomorrow!”Yes, the palace was re-opening the museum wing for tourists to begin visiting again and it had turned into this whole thing, with free food and fresh outfits and the news channels there to report. No wonder she was treating it like the event of the year, she couldn’t pass up another opportunity to be on camera. You sighed and pulled your phone out to send her the money once you saw that glitteringly hopeful look in her eyes.“Thank you!” She flounced off while visions of sugarplums danced in her head or what the fuck ever.“Why was Lady Eunbi sitting with Nayeon?”Jessica had hung around just to eye you with suspicion, but how could you know what the hell she was talking about when you hadn’t even been in the dining room? Sure, you were a little surprised to hear the no bitch truce had extended into today, but that was your classic girls’ girl BFFF.“None of your business?” And that had nothing to do with you? You weren’t Nayeon’s puppeteer? If she decided to act crazy, you weren’t going to stop her?“If she becomes close friends with your friend, that will reflect on your loyalty,” she growled.“Don’t you fucking dare bring up my loyalty,” you snapped back with equal venom.She should be thankful that only one person knew the depths of your situation and Nayeon was loyal enough in turn to never spill. Because you’d seriously spent years daydreaming of just telling the world what she did and dealing with the consequences.You regretted your comment when her energy sunk into unhinged calmness. “You know, I think I need some more money to buy Yunie another dress. Just to keep her in the running.”“Seriously?”“You’ve seriously had an attitude lately.”You had no choice but to pay her, too, another direct deposit from your Venmo right into her lined pockets. You felt so shitty about it, just sick to your stomach with shittiness. And honestly, you wanted to keep feeling shitty because it was a shitty day, so you figured you may as well go find out what the prince had gotten up to the night before… to feel even shittier.It was so fucked up that you felt relieved when you saw Jaehyun sitting alone at the end of the long table, prying apart his Eggs Benedict while trying to figure out what exactly it was.You slunk down on the opposite side of the table and grunted, “Yo,” still somehow unable to shake the mood.He glanced up in surprise to see you there and to your surprise, he was friendly, “Yo! Did you have a specific query you wished to entreat me with?”You couldn’t shake the mood, you realized, because you couldn’t tell if this was a morning after or a morning after. “Nothing specific. How was your night?”Here you fucking go, you were about to get the shittiness you asked for.“I shared a meal with Lady Eunbi before I spent the rest of the evening on my own, attempting to repair a kite I crafted.”You couldn’t help but laugh out loud at Jaehyun’s ridiculous innocence. How were you right and wrong at the same time? He spent the entire night alone making a kite?! Why the hell were you so up your own ass about all of this?His eyes darted to the side of your mouth before he matched your smile with one of his own. “Do you find something about that amusing?”“No. I mean, a little. It’s just… interesting to see that things written about you in history books were true,” you admitted.It was an unimportant bullet point in the greater outlines of history, but… something about your dad ensuring the detail that Jaehyun enjoyed flying kites as a child survived three centuries felt oddly perfect.Jaehyun put down his fork and made a point to lock eyes with you when he asked, “What else did these literature pieces discuss regarding myself?”The goosebumps… no… not now, not here.You lifted your eyebrows to make sure he knew you were implying something inappropriate before answering, “Definitely nothing good.”No…………………………..You weren’t flirting with him, were you? It came so naturally that you hadn’t thought twice before tangling in it, which was a mistake in the first place. You had to take it back…But Jaehyun did the same lifty thing with his eyebrows before he drawled, “Surely not, I was borne straight from the hands of the angels and can commit no wrongdoings.” With a smirk of self-amusement twisted across his mouth, he leaned across the table and you began preparing for the worst kind of inappropriate secret details. Definitely not his simple and easy, “I have felt the absence of our conversations keenly.”That is not what you expected him to say, not at all.“Same,” you whispered as sudden emotion clogged your throat. “Sorry.”Things were too weird after the painting incident - even though you still had no idea what the hell that was about - but these stupid ass conversations were the ones you really missed.“I must apologize as well. I seem to have developed feel—”“Anyone know where I can find some hot, frowny girls in here?!”You didn’t need to turn to the source of the noise to know who it was, but you had to see for yourself that you weren’t hallucinating maybe the worst possible thing. When you confirmed it, you couldn’t help but laugh, “Oh my fucking god, you didn’t.”Johnny grinned from ear to ear as he puffed out his chest and said with macho bravado, “I did.” 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

What was Johnny doing here?! And kissing you?!Seriously, if you were in any other situation you would’ve thought you were tripping balls. But you could feel Johnny’s firm, warm mouth press against yours before his lips slipped everywhere, marking you with a kiss you hadn’t been able to share for weeks. Out of instinct, you clung onto his tee and deepened the kiss, happy to experience the normalcy that came from his tongue darting into your mouth and his large torso crushing into yours.“Lady Blueberry?”When Johnny finally peeled his lips away, your vision was hazy with the outline of your affection from him and your heart was racing the way it should. He nodded his head behind you and scoffed in response to your unasked question, “Blame your bestie over there, she wasn’t responding to any of my texts.”Nayeon and Lady Eunbi were over at the next table like Jessica said they’d be… and they were sharing a huge trifle of fruit. Which was weird, considering Nayeon was iffy about sharing food with anyone except you.“Nana!” You caught her attention then pointed sarcastically at the man next to you.She stood up in shock and knocked the half the fruit over. “What?!—Are you stalking me, you asshole?!”That was kind of a weird thing for her to say to Johnny, but she wasn’t quite looking at you two. Her eyes were stuck to where … Hongseok was standing, drawing a heart in the air and mooning over her, “Only because I love you.”These fucking idiots, you could not believe them.I love you? Lady Eunbi mouthed in shock, before real disgust dripped onto her face.Same girl. Get in the hater line.But she was the only hater in the dining hall besides you. Even though her seat was halfway across the room, Lady Dawon’s smitten exhale was loud and clear, “Oh my goodness, who are these men?” Before Lady Solbin dribbled out a mouthful of cereal, acting like Hongseok and Johnny were from a different planet, “I have never seen anyone who looks like that in my life.”They were hot, but like… in a very modern way? Like every other dude who was in a frat at Norfolk College and smoked blunts on the boardwalk of VBeach? Did they not appreciate someone as classy-hot as the man who lived in this palace?“He’s so hot!” “Pardon me. Pardon me, Lady Blueberry.” “Oh my gosh, we need to get closer!”Through the chaos, you grabbed Johnny’s chin to make him look at you and not the girls fawning over him. “No, what are you actually doing here.”He didn’t call, didn’t text, didn’t say a goddamn thing about showing up at the palace just because he wanted to. You knew Mark was somewhere in the security office having the biggest tantrum after being forced to let them in.“I have a show this weekend at the 9:30 Club, so why wouldn’t I come see you?” Johnny was such a simple creature - every time he lied, he looked right at the side of your mouth to see if you’d frown.He came here because he was worried about what you might be doing without him, which was basically a step away from jealousy, which was basically him admitting he had real feelings for you. You pressed your cheek into his when you hugged again and felt the subtle satisfaction creep in despite your light scolding, “You horny asshole. You could’ve stayed home in VBeach to find sexy girls.”He squeezed your ass then to communicate, No, I couldn’t. Fuck yeah, this was definitely a win.Hongseok came over to hug you both at the same time before he yelled in your ear, “What’s up, Blue?! Yo, are we going to degenerate double date at the fucking United States castle?!”You somehow doubt palace staff would let them piss off the roof as you smoked, but what did you know?Nayeon laughed in disbelief as she came over to give Hong… honestly, a pretty lackluster hug and cheek kiss. “You two are insane, honestly.”“That’s what I said. You know I’m working here, not just messing around.” You couldn’t go clubbing just to go clubbing—“Excuse me, are these your… boyfriends?”Suddenly, your corner of the table was surrounded by Lady Dawon, Lady Solbin, and a handful of the other women who couldn’t keep their eyes off of the new guys. You got it, they were fresh meat or whatever since Mark and the odd young palace security guard were the only men your age around the palace. One look at Johnny and Hongseok in their ripped up tank tops and these girls had lost their goddamn minds.Also, that was the worst question to ask, because they got a mishmash of overlapping answers, “Kinda,” “hell no,” “I guess, whatever,” “the love of my life,” from you, Johnny, Nayeon, and Hongseok respectively, which was… not a strong endorsement of any of your current relationships.You held up a hand to get the other three to shut up so you could translate between worlds, “We all grew up together in Virginia Beach, we’re… dating.”At least the 2024 definition of the word dating gave you enough coverage for the twenty-year serious relationship and the five-year not-at-all whatevership the four of you were tied in.Lady Solbin was trying hard to process the strange new dynamic but ended up caving to the horny side of her brain, “Do you have any single friends?”That was like asking a fish if it can swim. Lol.And it appeared Lady Dawon would’ve become a fisherman if she could, because she could not keep her eyes off Johnny. “I mean, not all of us can end up with the prince, so… Someone like the prince who… looks like you? Or looks like him but acts like you?”It was hard to stir up the energy to get jealous, not when this’d happened so many times already and not when she wasn’t even his type. Though… he never discriminated when he was looking for someone to fuck.“You know, where the hell is this prince guy anyways? I want to meet him.” Johnny turned up the swagger at the end of his sentence and it was obvious he wanted to size up who he thought was his competition.Fucking cringe.“And I want you to meet my new friend, she’s actually kind of cool—” Nayeon looked the most excited then, grabbing Hongseok’s arm so she could take him over to meet Lady Eunbi. But when she looked around, the other woman was nowhere to be found. “Where’d she go?”She had the right idea. You shouldn’t be an asshole and stick to your friends, the right thing to do was the proper introductions, since Jaehyun was def confused by all the commotion. But he wasn’t in his seat either. A quick scan through the room and he was nowhere to be found in the dining hall. Mark was gone, too, so maybe they’d left to prep for the event tomorrow? He was going to be answering press questions on Jaehyun’s behalf, so the extra prep was understandable.“I’ll be back.” You let Johnny kiss you one more time before you left with a flirty, yet very serious warning, “Try not to fuck every girl in the palace before I get back.”You already had to deal with one guy trying to do that.Those ridiculous fools peacocking around made you want to go and apologize to Jaehyun. Yes, apologize. You weren’t a person who ever liked saying sorry, but it felt like you owed him one - his life being disrupted was your fault this time.As you approached the private residence wing, Solar was waiting for you. Perfect, since you needed her help, and you wasted no time asking, “Hey! Do you know where the prince...”She grabbed your arm with an unexpected strong, cold hand, and interrogated with extreme concern, “You already have a gentleman suitor?”“Yes? You know this, I told you.” You’d made it clear from the very first day you got here that not only were you not interested in the prince, you couldn’t be interested in him. If you were going to keep shitting on Johnny for not being loyal, you couldn’t go and do the same thing.“That is not good,” Solar fretted. “That is not good at all.”Why was she freaking the fuck out? Wouldn’t it be weirder if you weren’t fucking someone? Lmao.“Um, sorry? But did you see him?” You pointed back through the double doors so she could take a good look at… Johnny flexing his huge arms for Lady Dawon. Of course. “He’s hot.”Solar started near pleading with you, “How are you to be by the prince's side when you are preoccupied like this?”This was…. beyond weird.“I can do both.” You gently tried to both reason with her and take your arm out of her death grip without shaking her off like a bug. “I’m literally trying to find him now. If you’re not going to help me, I’ve gotta go.”Okay, you got it. You couldn’t be a distracted palace employee, everyone here went above and beyond to make everything perfect for Jaehyun, the whole world revolved around him, blah, blah. But you had a life. You had things to do and people to do and you wanted to return to a VBeach that didn’t feel like it was completely fucked up when you were gone. But you seriously could not understand why Solar was so stressed out that you had a not-even boyfriend. What, did you need to make it clear that you and Johnny were not exclusive? Would that calm her down? You didn’t think it mattered, since it didn’t interfere with the goal you were trying to accomplish here. Right?You liked the girl, but what the fuck was up with this?You hurried down the hallways to the royal suite and saw Mark from a distance, looking stressed out as he typed on his phone while pacing back and forth. Which meant Jaehyun was inside stressing out as well, probably about interacting with all the tourists who would stop by tomorrow. Mark was far enough away that you figured you could sneak into the room and help without adding to his plate.As you approached his room, your eardrums prickled with an off-rhythm noise you couldn’t identify. It wasn’t until you crossed into the land of no return that you realized it was moaning.You were peeking before your brain could comprehend what it was doing.The door was only open a crack and you were not insane enough to push it open more, so all you could see from your limited angle was a short bob that was messed up to the point of chaos... Lady Eunbi’s short bob, the only bob in the palace right now.The reason why her hair was messed up was because Jaehyun was holding it in his hands while he was… kissing her.They were kissing very aggressively - and you meant very aggressively by your standards, considering you were into your share of rough stuff back in the day. Every smash of their lips was punctuated by her shattering gasps and you could see the bite marks ringed in lipstick at the creases of his dimples. Her dress buttons were ripped open and when the two of them shifted back against his desk, you spotted the broad outlines of his chest where she’d undone all the ties on his shirt, like you’d never been able to convince him to.He stopped for this uncontrolled, wild second that made you sink into the doorway with strangely weak knees, unable to handle the sight of his dark hair swept into his eyes and his usually pale skin flushed with… clarified desire. His hand grasped her chin to make sure she was looking at him while he spoke and an insane thrill blossomed against the same spot on your face, “You cannot relay what has transpired here to any individual.”“I’ll keep it to myself, just hurry up,” Lady Eunbi breathed with her eyes closed as she tried to lean in and kiss him again.Every muscle in his arm flexed as he held her away and kept her lips from meeting his. You were as drawn in by the words that fell from his pretty lips as she was, “I have made a promise not to engage in the complete act of sexual intercourse.”You were absolutely an insane fucking crazy person to feel a stab of pride in your chest, that he was listening to your orders in the midst of this lust-fueled frenzy. But that drowned in the sudden, strong blaze of a white-hot jealousy you’d never experienced before in your life.Lady Eunbi’s brow creased with strange sadness you couldn’t figure out. “I don’t care what you do, I just want to forget everything else.”Jaehyun froze for a moment and you thought maybe he’d stop, that he’d let go of her and you’d be freed from this searing envy that you knew would leave behind blistered burn scars. But then he just said, “I am experiencing the reflective sentiment.”What? What did he want to forget?!And ordered her without hesitation, “Lift up your skirts.”“Yes, your highness,” she breathed.Her fingers trembled with lust as they sunk into the silk and pulled it up, then his hands slipped to her waist, then his mouth was on hers again.You were supposed to go, you were not supposed to be watching…. This was bad of you, this was really bad.But you were entranced by how his hands fit her thighs as he spread her legs and pushed the skirt of her dress even higher. He moved to kiss her neck all over, not leaving a single inch of her skin without the pink pressure marks that matched the color of his lips. You couldn’t see what he was doing beyond the insane steel outline of his back muscles rippling through his shirt and that was the worst thing possible, because… it left you to imagine it. What his hands would be doing with your—her underwear, where they would go and what he would feel, what noise you’d—she’d make when they slipped against you…….. her.Lady Eunbi's hands tangled into his dark hair and hearing her exhale was legit torture, “God, how are you so good at this…”You had to get the fuck out before you exploded into tiny, unfixable pieces.Sneaking away from there felt like you were going impossibly fast and were glued to one spot at the same time, still stuck in that wine-fueled dream where they were having dinner together. You knew that she liked him, knew that this happening was more likely than not, but somehow this sucked harder than the time that you walked into him with the maid.You suppose you didn’t realize that Jaehyun liked her back.Johnny and co were gathered in the hallway, taking pictures of each other like the tourists they were, and he teased you as soon as he saw you were alone, “Where is his royal sleepiness?”You’d lost the ability to speak, let alone form a coherent answer, but some subconscious part of your brain managed to save you, “He’ll meet you later, he was busy with something.”“With what?”“I don’t know, I… I couldn’t get in the room.”That was bad.“Probably fucking someone, eh?”That was worse.He told Lady Eunbi with his own stupid mouth that they couldn’t have sex but could you trust a goddamn word of his? Could you trust him? The most disappointing part of the whole goddamn thing was that Jaehyun went for the one person - that tentative bridge of friendship was definitely burned - who existed to remind you of how shitty your life was. Which really fucking sucked.You leaned your head into Johnny’s shoulder and he draped his arm around you before sneakily trying to grab your ass again. You pinched his ribs and scolded, “That’s enough. Have some class while you’re here.”Hypocritical of you to say… considering everything else. — “Hey. Wanna find a closet somewhere?”Johnny’s question blew through your ear and smothered you with complete annoyance. He didn’t get the hint after three families walked by, overheard his pestering, and gave you the same weird looks? You were wearing a skirt that was longer than your fucking thighs, how did he not understand you had to be serious right now?“We can’t have sex right now,” you muttered as you handed out a welcome flier, feeling like that paper was tainted more than the others.He twisted his leg around yours so that you could feel his body close and he lowered his voice even more, “Why not? I came all the way here, that’s putting in some serious effort.”“Last night wasn’t enough?” you huffed.“Nay kicked me all night.”There was no fucking reason for Johnny to be giving you that shitty face like it was your fault that all you did was spoon and slightly dry hump. You didn’t ask Nayeon to wander into the room at midnight and climb into bed to cuddle you, but you weren’t ever going to kick her out. Besides…“You brought Hongsuck with you," you argued the main point here.Johnny shot you the gossipy side eye you knew well. “There’s drama there. She doesn’t want to quit her job and marry him, you know.”You wouldn’t want to, either. Hong was a part time DJ!Before you got pissed off, it was time to make him acknowledge that this was a real job to you, too, “Can you please understand that I need to be on today? Unless you’re going to give me the money they’re paying me.” You found a sneaky loophole and used it to your advantage, with a flutter of your lashes that you learned from the ladies. “That sort of stuff is a boyfriend’s responsibility.”It went against every single thread of your moral fiber, but you wouldn’t mind having a hot guy around just to pay the bills for you. Especially that one big bill you were still chipping away at. Ha, lmao.Johnny nodded along like he understood, a surprise, before he opened his big, fat mouth, “I know. Fuckin’ yikes.”Sheesh. That was almost worse than a denial….“By the way, what happens to the girls he doesn’t pick?” Johnny took his sweet time observing the palace grounds, thinking you were an idiot and would assume he just liked the landscape or whatever. And you could see that he did, specifically the rose bush that Lady Dawon was standing in front of as she handed out Jeong sigil cookies. God, what a fucking asshole.You shoved his shoulder so he was facing the opposite way and were as bitchy as possible, “I’m going to lock you in the stables if you say one more fucking thing. Give out the tickets. Now.”He pouted and hung his head like a baby. But when you didn’t cave and give him a makeup kiss, he sullenly held out the tickets like he was supposed to.Dick.You snuck to the other table where Nayeon was giving out maps and stickers to the kids and didn’t bother to police yourself, “He is going to fucking blow it for me.”“I spent all night coaching Hong on what not to say that he fell asleep.” The deep, dark circles under her eyes were worse than ones she had when she was in law school.“Thanks for that,” you muttered, before you tacked on an awkward, “Sorry.”She wouldn’t know that you were apologizing for your secret assumption that she just didn’t want to have sex and decided to hide with you. You didn’t realize it was because her boyfriend fell asleep after she tried to do you a favor. But you watched her make a grossed-out face as Hongseok checked himself out in his phone reflection three times in a row and figured that maybe it was a combination of both.You pressed on with your stresses instead, “I mean, why did they even come here in the first place?”The 9:30 Club event that Johnny was playing - a fifteen minute closer set after a big DC DJ played the main event - was the kind of thing back at VBeach that he’d claim he was too big for.“He’s worried,” Nayeon said without hesitating.“About what?”“Seriously? I know you know I think he’s an idiot, but I would be worried if I had to watch my not-girlfriend prance around with an incredibly hot prince.”The goosebumps had to be taunting you now. There was no way you could feel them dotting up the length of your whale tattoo at the mere mention of him.“I don’t fucking prance,” you snapped at her, before feeling like a complete moron as you turned on the bright customer service voice to the young girls visiting with their parents. “Hi, welcome to the Palace of America. Thank you so much for being here!”Between the girly voice and the modest dress you were wearing, this was definitely an alternate reality you weren’t sure if you enjoyed.When you were alone again, Nayeon took back her comment for something even worse, “Prancing was my way of not being a blunt asshole. If I had to watch someone I liked accidentally stumble upon their perfect match, I’d be worried too.”Did she and Hongseok smoke an ungodly amount of weed before this? How could she think…? You were nothing alike…? What?Like she could read your internal monologue, Nayeon shrugged and said, “Some people just are.”You blinked with strange satisfaction brewing in your chest, then found yourself spying on Jaehyun and Lady Eunbi at the next table. They were greeting tourists together while in their matching white outfits that made them look like they stepped out of the history books together. You tried to sus out vibes from a distance and figure out if they were being romantic, but besides the friendly laughs they’d exchange every so often… nothing.“I don’t think Johnny has to be worried about that,” you muttered.But Nayeon wasn’t standing next to you anymore, she had gone over to talk to Lady Eunbi, “Hey! I didn’t see you at all after lunch yesterday. I wanted to introduce you to my boyf—”The good lady, in turn, decided to dial the bitchiness up to one thousand and both talk over Nayeon and ignore her, “Your highness, did you want to move to the entrance to be the first to meet the patrons?”“That is a riveting suggestion, thank you, Lady Eunbi.” Jaehyun held out his arm for her to take which she did right away, yet he managed to be polite enough to Nayeon, “Hello, Lady Nayeon.”Then he just…. totally fucking ignored you when he walked by.Lady Eunbi picked up on what he did and laughed right in your face as she trailed beside him.“Don’t act so smug,” you snapped at her before you could stop yourself. You told yourself you wouldn’t say anything, wouldn’t act any different after what you saw… because you weren’t supposed to have seen it. But your insane little brain decided it’d check off self-sabotage today.She smiled serenely, as poised and as perfect as a princess could be, and responded, “Perhaps you should hand out the fliers, like you’re supposed to do as a palace worker.”What a cunt.Nayeon was baffled by that entire interaction, “I thought that we were chill now?”“She’s bad fucking news, don’t even try.” You felt like a fucking fool for even wasting a second of your time on someone as awful as her. That was the last time you’d ever go against your gut feeling.“You’re really in a mood. Why?—”Before you could open your mouth, sharp nails dug into the soft flesh of your arm and you found yourself backing into a secluded bush so Jessica could rant at you in private, “Why did on earth did he ask that girl to stand with him instead of Yuna?!”Really?Jaehyun was the one who asked Lady Eunbi to accompany him and not the other way around? Ugh. What did he even see in her? Never mind, they had a lot in common… like being rich and being assholes, being rich assholes. They had way more in common than Nayeon thought you and he did.“You’re not working hard enough!” Jessica's shouting brought you back to the grim reality you faced.“I mean, besides giving her a literal script of things to say I am doing the best I can!” You tried to keep things calm and not draw any more attention your way, “She was the one who said she didn’t want to hook up with him.”Which apparently should’ve been her strategy!Jessica came inches away from slapping you, only stopping because you somehow ducked into the flower thorns in time. They were your scratchy saviors, but not from her harsh words, “Don’t you dare treat her like a hooker! Just because you know what it’s like to be one!”“What?! That doesn’t even make sense!” Besides one little misunderstanding with Yuna’s first ex-boyfriend Felix, which wasn’t actually that serious, how could she think you were a hooker! She had no idea what you did privately! It’s not like you had any sort of mother-daughter relationship where you told her things!“You dress like one, act like one. You brought your little friend here and are parading around with him!” Jessica sneered with disgust, trying to put you in your place. “No wonder I didn’t want you staying in my house—”You left without saying a word, which was insane character development considering old you would’ve clocked her right in the face. But your anger had already raced past fury and into… pure sadness. Jessica had such a vendetta against a heartbroken teenager that she thought it was fun to punish you in the years that followed, for no particular reason beyond seeking revenge.Thankfully, Johnny was easy to find - lurking by the cookie table, as expected - and you knew what you needed to do. You grabbed his shirt just as he was about to hit on Lady Dawon and he made such a sour face when he realized he was caught… until you crushed your lips into his, the only thing you could think of doing to release the tension.He chuckled in smug victory against your mouth, “I thought you said you didn’t want to have sex.”“I just want to make out,” you growled. “It’ll piss Head Bitch off at the very least.”Johnny was the most self-satisfied man in the world at that point. “I don’t need a reason.”Forgetting everything else he wanted to do, Johnny pressed you against the marble column and dove straight into kissing you like you needed. You appreciated how seriously intense he was whenever you kissed, but as he started to bite up your lip, you found it impossible to remember the last time you two kissed to kiss. A peck that didn’t turn into more, a soft little bloom against a cheek or an earlobe, a sweet smooch that conveyed the subtle depth of your enchantment with each other.His hot, needy mouth curling against yours and his tongue sweeping by with some dirty intention was almost enough to get you to forget everything. To focus on him, to whine and squirm and wish you were in bed with your clothes off so you could be caught up in only him.But that something kept sticking in your brain.How nice it’d be to kiss someone just because you wanted to.Audible, pissed-off huffing made you both stop kissing… to spot Jessica watching and squeezing the life out of a destroyed water bottle. The pieces came together for Johnny and he squeezed your waist while wondering, “Did she ask you for money? I can spare a twenty.”He pulled out his wallet and handed over the bill he thought you needed. When he kept himself from grabbing your hand and jokingly making you touch his dick, you made the sarcastic comment, “How generous that you're not asking for anything in return.”Johnny wiggled his eyebrows and it wasn’t half as charming as another eyebrow lift you’d grown used to. “Already got some things I wanted. If I had any money, it’d be all yours.”He made good money from his club fees but he spent it all on new DJ equipment and beer! He never tried to help you out with anything and it was an endless argument of yours. You’d ask if he was serious about the future, he would claim he needed that stuff for his future career, then say his signature, The better the booth, the better the ladies.Which pretty much killed the argument by turning you the fuck off.“I’m not trying to talk right now,” you sighed, before pulling him in for another kiss.He was usually so damn good at kissing, which meant you had no idea why it wasn’t hitting this time. He slipped his fingers into your dress’s side cutouts so he could feel your bare skin, let his tongue dance over your lips the way you craved the most, but you were oddly dissociated through all of it - just weirdly aware of the act of kissing with no feeling.A third person’s exhale blew across the side of your face and you groaned when you saw Hongseok standing so close he could’ve got in on the action. But he was there just to gossip with Johnny, “Yo, dude. Things are getting Fight Club-esque.”“You can’t talk about that,” Johnny warned with utmost seriousness.You had no idea what the fuck he was talking about and neither did Hongseok, “Why not?”“The first rule of fight club!”“I didn’t think that was real. What’s the rule?”Men were so fucking annoying, always… No, wait. Modern men were so fucking annoying and you hated that you had to make the distinction.“Lady Blue! Over here!”You glanced around the garden at the sound of your name and couldn’t figure out where it had come from. It wasn’t until you turned towards the palace entrance did you see Solar waving for your attention. The two bigheaded losers were still arguing with each other, so you took the chance to sneak away and meet up with her.She was hovering on the concrete like she was afraid of the party or something, so you beckoned her to join you, “Why don’t you come out here? It’s so nice!”Solar ignored the suggestion and instead reached into the pocket of her skirt to offer up something unexpected, “Here is your diary.”You’d left the journal behind on purpose since you didn’t have a bag to bring around and this dress had no pockets (no idea why you’d wear this frumpy thing again if it was ugly and useless!) but she must’ve thought you’d forgotten it.“Oh, I didn’t need this, but…” A loud noise caught your attention and you looked over to see a crowd suddenly forming where Jaehyun was standing. Fuck. Your heart sunk into the bottom of your fucking feet because you had the weird sense that was not a Good Crowd. “I’ve gotta go, there’s kinda some drama going on… Thank you!”She didn’t follow, she continued to stand right there at the edge of the concrete, but you couldn’t waste time trying to figure out why she didn’t want to experience this glorious sun.Not when there were more important things to deal with.“What the hell was that? Why were you talking to that statue?” Johnny asked when you caught up to him.Huh? Was he trying to be a douche or did he really not see you talking to Solar?Hongseok shushed you both and an amused smile lit up his face, “Shh, that insane YouTuber CookEmBoi is about to light up his majestic-y.”Fuck. What?!You made it to the outskirts of the crowd and managed to catch a glimpse of Mark standing in the buffer zone between Jaehyun and… ugh, that was indeed CookEmBoi, the beloved conspiracy YouTuber. Mark was trying his hardest to de-escalate the situation, “We have asked for no reporter questions until the scheduled time.”Your dad hated when his students cited CookEmBoi (aka Stephen Yoon the Mega Loser) in their homework because they didn’t know the difference between fun conspiracy theories and that guy’s bullshit videos. It seemed like he hadn’t changed his tune, even fifteen years later.“Freedom of speech.” Stephen’s smarmy deflection made you shiver, his intentions were so fucking dishonest, “How would you respond to American citizens who are concerned that you’re leveraging your sudden re-emergence to gain power for yourself?”Jaehyun didn’t answer and standing there in silence was objectively the worst possible thing he could’ve done. He kept flinching as his eyes darted around the ring of people surrounding him, freaked out at all the camera flashes pointed in his direction. You might’ve been the only one who knew he wasn’t purposefully avoiding the question.And Mark was a bit too late with his defense, “You don’t have to answer.”“Or are you seeking to re-establish a true monarchy to overthrow our democratic society?”From where she was standing in the front, Yuna searched the crowd to find you, face streaked with stress and tears. When you made eye contact, you mouthed as big as you possibly could, Defend him! Maybe you could find something in the journal that could help? Text her a picture? Honestly, thank god Solar brought it out here, you were way out of your depth and had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. You just knew Stephen was trying to flame Jaehyun on purpose.Yuna’s pageant training came alive as she flashed the crowd the sweetest smile possible, then she stroked Jaehyun’s arm and encouraged him, “You can tell them you don’t want to be a prince anymore, it’s fine.”Uh………….“I am a prince,” Jaehyun quietly countered, before his eyes screwed shut as if he could wish it all away.Yuna tried to correct her mistake, “Not a prince that does real stuff, right?,” and ended up making it worse.Shit, why would she say something like that! She was so fucking useless!“Are you insinuating he’s lazy?” Stephen gleefully gestured for his camera guy to start recording Yuna’s mistakes, the flashy content he was looking for. “Or just the kind of prince that charges to meet him like he’s some sort of pop star?”This was getting ridiculous. How could he look at a man who was fascinated by the concept of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and deem him a power-hungry villain?Stephen took it a step too far and decided to insult them both, “This is the kind of wife you want?”Fucking hell, this shit had to end.“Hi, his royal highness’s Chancellor of Culture here!”It was so surreal, hearing your voice and feeling your vocal cords activate but not experiencing the shoving and exhausting effort it must’ve taken to… reach the front of the crowd and move Mark aside to confront Stephen yourself.The only thing you could register was your rapid heartbeat punishing your eardrums, so loud you couldn’t figure out if you were screaming or whispering next, “This is the same museum entrance fee as always, as it's been for years before the prince woke up. You would know that with only a one second Google search.” Your senses rocketed back in time to catch your sharp little jab at him, “But you just want to get your weirdo content for YouTube, am I right?”Stephen and his team were struck speechless that someone was arguing against them and making sense. But you couldn’t let this dose of adrenaline go to waste without properly roasting him.“But just in case someone’s listening who actually cares…” You read line by line from the end of the journal, pretending that was where you kept your PR crisis reports or whatever, “The former monarchy is, and always will be, a symbol from now on. That is never going to change.”Thank fucking god for your dad. He always knew when to come through when you needed him the most.“How can you be so sure of that?” Stephen seemed to really believe you were an authority figure and not just a girl in a badly-fitted dress who never finished high school.You skipped to the next page in hopes that there'd be more to help and a line stuck out halfway down the first paragraph, “We’re not asking to change the Constitution so his highness can enact policy or govern. He has no power beyond the theoretical power of the symbol he is. Yet that can be wielded to do good for the American public.”Huh, you never realized just how much your dad thought there was a chance Jaehyun could wake up one day. This whole section of the book was made up of his thoughts on what would happen if he did.“Theoretical power is still power and there’s been no indication he will wield it appropriately.”Stephen used a lot of big words but it didn’t take you long to figure out what the hell he was saying: that Jaehyun was on track to becoming one of those lunatics in Congress who did nothing but jerk themselves off and pass bills to fuck over America. And while he was pretty fond of the first thing, everything about him indicated he would never want the second.“Maybe if you read any history book he’s mentioned in or the research of the W-William and Mary history department…” Your voice split in two while referencing your dad’s old university and you hoped it was concealed in your overflowing anger, “…you’d see that the prince is a person who cares.” Before your bitchy side kicked in and you stared at Stephen with wide, innocent eyes before wondering, “Wait. Can you read?”Ooooh, you had lit the ticking time bomb.Stephen’s face went tomato red as he fumbled hard, “E-Excuse me?!,” then pushed his videographer away when the camera focused on him.“If you can’t read, maybe have a conversation with his highness instead of shitting on us? You’d find he espouses a lot of principles that you seem to think we lack.”Prince Jaehyun was a historical fuckboy, sure, but the more you thought about it… the more you realized that was his only flaw? You pored over endless pages of your dad’s research that basically implied Jaehyun was a champion of the American people and the country fell apart without him. He’d woken up three hundred years later and continued believing in the exact same things… then became a gay ally. Why the fuck would anyone assume that he was some moral douchebag?Stephen tried to get the upper hand one last time, “But—”You didn’t give a shit if this ended with you as a villain in a YouTube vid for thirteen year olds, this was so unfair. You didn’t want to hear another fucking thing and made sure he knew it, “But at the end of the day, his royal highness is a thirty-year-old man who woke up to live life in a completely different era. Let him enjoy cellphones and tight pants, for the love of god.”Jaehyun’s sweet, deep voice pirouetted through the air, “I do not enjoy tight pants,” and soothed you in an embrace of relieved goosebumps.He still sounded like himself, thank god.You waved a hand out to get him to be quiet and somehow found Jaehyun there right by your side. Your fingers inadvertently tangled as you shushed him, “Shh, I’m making a point here,” then clutched onto his hand hard as you made said point, “If you lost entire generations of living, on literally everything you knew and loved, would you want to take over a country or just… learn how to exist again?”It’d been a decade and a half since you’d lost everything you knew and loved - some days it still felt like you were fighting against a lifetime of curses just to figure out how to be you again. You didn’t think a single other person in this fucking palace truly knew that was exactly what Jaehyun was going through.“You should leave.” The customer service smile snuck onto your face as you politely asked Stephen to get the fuck out. Then, a demon possessed you to let go of Jaehyun’s hand and grab that shitty Youtuber’s arm instead, to stop him from escaping before you got your final bit of humiliation in, “Wait. I’ll take your entrance fee, too. You crossed the fucking gates, dude.”Stephen looked like he was going to piss his pants when he made his videographer hand over the ten measly dollars he made a fuss over. Ten dollars! What a fucking loser.As soon as the bill was in your hands, the crowd of tourists and palace workers started clapping. Of course they fucking clapped, it made you want to sink into the ground and die, unable to appreciate the hilarious sight of Stephen waddling off like a full-diapered baby.You loved attention, but not this much and not for this reason.“Don’t clap,” you muttered and no one heard you. So when the desperate panic clawed at your chest, you yelled to the one person who had some kind of power, “Mark, make them not clap!”“Disperse to your posts immediately!” he bellowed, then ran to retrieve Jaehyun from wherever he was.But you had no sense of whether or not Jaehyun was okay or even what was happening around you. The panic had swelled into an itchy allergic reaction that coated the entirety of your throat and you pressed the heel of your hand right into the breadth of it to try and open up an airway.You weren’t used to this, you weren’t used to using your brain for something this serious. You weren’t ready to experience the kind of raw passion that made it feel like you’d rather die before you caved to something that wasn’t true. You couldn’t take a fucking breath, every time you inhaled your lungs shredded against the rocks of this epic mountain you climbed, all to make sure that… he was okay.You clutched the journal to your chest and hoped with all your might that feeling worn leather against your skin would enough to calm you down.Out of nowhere, Johnny came close enough to scare the shit out of you with his loud-ass exclamation, “How did you sound, like… smart, dude?!”All you could do was mumble, “No fucking clue,” since you were not strong enough to speak normally.Did the spirit of your dad take over through the journal? You didn’t even know what the word espouse meant, but you said it like you did.Nayeon did the one thing you needed most and threw her arms around you so you could stop pretending like you were some fierce warrior queen. You staggered and she pulled you into a full hug, stroked your ponytail as she reassured you, “I mean, you were right, though. I wouldn’t’ve said anything else.”If the smartest person you knew approved of what you said, you couldn’t’ve been that out of line. Right?“Yo, you seriously went off, babe.” Johnny threw his hands up in victory like he was Rocky’s coach. “Can I use that last line for a remix?”“No.” Your head really fucking hurt and this was making it worse.“Please?”“No!”All you could think about was how terrifying it was to be up there on your own, not knowing if you were going to be humiliated or what. How Johnny didn’t even try to make sure you were okay.“Save that for later, go hang with your bro,” Nayeon sent him over to continue shenanigans with Hongseok and you thought she was doing you a solid so you could catch your breath. But she kept it light and casual, “I think there’s someone you should to talk to,” and flicked her eyes to your right.Mark was awkwardly hovering around an angry Lady Eunbi, who was growling on her phone to what sounded like her lawyer, attempting to make sure nothing bad about her came out of that encounter. Behind him, Yuna was sobbing her little eyes out in Jessica’s arms, who was too swept up in comforting her daughter to find you and kill you, which you were sure she wanted to do.But who Nayeon had gestured to was.... Jaehyun, pale-faced and frozen, stuffing his hands in his pockets while he stared at a patch of golden sun making the grass gleam. At first, he seemed to be the newest edition to the elegant row of statues decorating the garden, until his stillness broke and he moved to stare at you from across the yard. His gaze was painted with an impossible amount of yearning and a teaspoon of confusion that you could somehow sense from where you were.Ugh, it was so fucked up that you felt like it was your sole responsibility to fix that… fix him.But you did. — There was one thing you had to do before you went into the Hall of Portraits. But it was something that scared you shitless, even more than confronting an internet bully in front of a crowd of strangers.You scrolled down to the Dada’s weird ass friend contact you never deleted from your phonebook and pressed call. No chance to wonder if she wouldn’t pick up, Professor Song answered on the first ring, “Hello?”“Hi.” You had to start with that again, impossible to muster the courage to say anything else. His sweet presence followed that word whenever you used it with her, making it so much easier to get into the tougher things you wanted to say.And you were not ready to hear her voice breaking on the other end, “B-Blue? I didn’t think you’d ever call.”“I don’t have time to talk, I just had a question.” You weren’t trying to be rude and avoid her, you had an important task to check off your list that made this conversation necessary.“What is it? Are you okay?”“What advice would you give someone who was trying to build their career after a long time off and didn’t know where to start?”Jaehyun hesitated when he was confronted about his involvement in modern American politics, obviously as a result of his shock and discomfort. But the more you sat with the image of his distressed face, the more you realized it was pure embarrassment that he was being called out for doing nothing. Which meant you couldn’t just tell him he was going to be okay and leave it at that.But you weren’t able to bring yourself give it away that you were worried about him. Framing your question like that meant she’d assume you were asking for yourself and jump to help.Judging by how enthusiastic and chatty she got, Professor Song bought it, hook, line, and sinker, “I would start somewhere small to build my confidence! Work on one thing that I was interested in and see where that took me.”Just like the word hi, her suggestion was so simple and stupid that you couldn’t believe you didn’t think of it. But being told what to do by a real adult made the problem feel so much more approachable.“Great!” Your enthusiastic response wasn’t fake. “I’ll—”“Blue? Are you trying to go back to school?”Her quiet, curious question made your heart race like you’d been caught doing something illegal. That wasn’t a thought that’d crossed your mind, but a spark of surprise ended up spiraling up to your eyes and goading your tears on.If your dad had been there and seen what you said…“No, I don’t think I'll ever be able to—” Yuna and Jessica walked by mid-answer and luckily, they didn’t notice you since she was somehow still crying. But you had to duck behind a statue and hang up just in case with a hasty, “Shit, bye.” You groaned in light disappointment right after, since part of you wished you had been able to continue the conversation with Professor Song. The outcome of it seemed impossible to predict and part of you was intrigued by the possibilities of what she was implying.But none of this was about you.You checked in the Hall of Portraits again to make sure he hadn’t left, and sure enough, Jaehyun was still sitting on the floor across from the large painting of his parents. His forehead was tucked into his knees so he looked as small as possible there on his own. He always made it easy to find him in your mutual times of crisis.“You’re in here a lot,” you called softly.Even with his head bowed, you were able to see the poke of his dimple in a soft smile when he heard it was you. “It is the closest approximation I can conjure of reuniting with my family.”Oh.He really existed to make you feel like such a soft bitch, didn’t he?You sunk down on the floor next to him, not afraid to sit close enough that your hips pressed together in one seamless line of support. It was funny in a way, to see your smudged white sneaker next to his shiny old colonial shoe that he’d insisted on wearing for the occasion today. New and Old together again.Jaehyun couldn’t bring himself to look at you no matter how many times you nudged his elbow, until you gave him no choice by flicking him right on the earlobe. He shot you a frustrated glare… only for it to melt away when he saw that you were holding up your phone background for him to see.“My dad and me,” you murmured.Truth be told, it was a horrible picture - you were frowning at the camera in your stiff new school uniform and your dad's eyes were closed mid-blink as the cherry on top of his goofy ass smile. But it had been your background for a decade and a half, so you’d never forget celebrating the first class he taught as a real college professor.“Whyever is your face split into all these parts?” Jaehyun’s fingers lifted to brush against your chubby cheeks on the screen and you swore you could feel the matching breeze on your skin now.“The screen is broken,” you laughed as you clicked your phone off and showed him the cracks on the glass. “I just can’t afford another.”He looked at you strangely, something about you having a shitty ass phone wasn’t making sense to him.“Oh, I forgot. I brought you this.”You put a Ferrero Rocher on top of his knee and it balanced there like a prim little crown of gold. It was your peace offering through the weirdness that had once again tied the two of you up. You were almost grateful for the confrontation - without it, you were sure you and Jaehyun would’ve gone for days without speaking to each other again, because of what you'd spied on and whatever unknown thing you'd done to piss him off.You weren’t sure how to broach this conversation, so you tried a bad joke first, “I didn’t think meet the prince day was going to be so brutal.”He didn’t even meet anyone or give his interviews, he kinda just sat in the sunniest part of the garden and stared at the grass until long after the event ended. You lost track of how many little kids begging their parents to see the prince that you had to distract with cookies.Jaehyun pressed his head further into his knees so his words were all warbly and muffled, “After I was insulted with the intent of gamesmanship in front of a gathered crowd?”You didn’t mean to sound like an asshole, but you really wondered if he never had to deal with hecklers back in the day. Since, you know, anyone who spoke against the prince would be put into those wood head hole thingies in the town square.“Yeah, yeah, I get it, but people think that ‘cause you’re the prince, you're gonna do whatever you want…”“That has never been the manner in which I have conducted myself.” He spoke with so much honest passion then you were blown away, “I do not wish to regress towards mere symbolic meaning. I have an education, I possess ideas for how to improve our society. That is the man my father raised me to be.”It was hard not to feel the heavy pressure radiating out of the portrait you were sitting across from.And you didn’t want to tell him that CookEmBoi was kinda right. Royals in 2024 didn’t exactly have the best reputation and Jaehyun had zero knowledge of how unhinged the modern American government was. It was no surprise that the people who weren't awed by his celebrity couldn’t trust him worth a damn.You tried to avoid this conversation, “Never mind, you didn’t hire me as your political advisor.”But Jaehyun was lost in his own world as he blankly exhaled, “There must be a reason I was re-gifted life in this manner.”Huh.He thought this second chance would be meaningless if he wasn’t able to accomplish the same things he did in his past life?Your heart felt severed in two when Jaehyun finally looked up to meet your eye and you could sense his desperate need for you to understand his point.Swimming through sweet memories of the past meant you were eventually stopped at the brutal gates of reality in the present, “People only like princes from fairytale storybooks now, so be one of those. If you want to pretend like you’re doing something meaningful, throw a fundraiser or host a ball and make it free. I know I like free things since we…”You thought you caught yourself from saying since we're poor in time, but the look Jaehyun shot you clearly meant that you didn’t.Fuck, was the jig up? Were you going to have to confess that you and Yuna weren't—“Speak in honest terms with me at this moment. Are you an alms woman?”Um?You wanted to roast Jaehyun for calling you a weird ass name, but you really had no clue what he meant. Into the Google search bar went alms and out came a definition that made you laugh so fucking hard: Alms (/ɑːmz/, /ɑːlmz/) are money, food, or other material goods donated to people living in poverty. An alms woman is a female beggar.You were still laughing when you shrugged and sheepishly admitted, “Maybe a little.”The story was balanced at the tip of your shy tongue. It still didn’t feel right to gift it to him, yet you were kinda moved you’d considered it in the first place.Assuming Jaehyun would take it as a funny joke that everyone here was poorer than he was, you felt goosebumps prickling at your skin again when he expressed his deep concern for you instead, “Is that the reason as to why you sought out employment amongst my chancellors?”You did like to go to the free dance parties on the VBeach boardwalk and slow dance with your dad... back when you were ten and still believed princes and princesses were a real thing.“Maybe a little.” You pressed your arm into his, maybe flirty, maybe not, and asked him the cheeky question, “Do you feel like I took advantage of you?”Jaehyun knocked his knee into yours so the candy was balanced between you two, before it fell into his hand and he let out a very sweet little laugh, “Perhaps a small amount.”You were going to save spiraling over the fact that you felt relieved - fucking relieved! - that he was able to laugh for later…. when you were drunk or high and couldn’t make fun of yourself.“Then I will go above and beyond and be your political advisor right now. Date a sweet girl, fall in love with her, get married. People love that royal wedding shit. After that, they’ll like you a lot and then you can do the political shit you want.” He’d get about twenty political movements worth of goodwill by giving the public a banger of a wedding. He could try to make cows illegal and the American people would go for it if he looked drop dead hot in his wedding tux.“I do not think I possess the capability to do so,” Jaehyun lamented with a soft sigh.God, you felt for him, you really did. But now he was getting picky with his options and you didn’t know how to help. “I know you want to do more than that, but—”“I do not anticipate successfully entering into a courtship which progresses into love. There are instances in which it feels as if she has cursed me.”Strange billows of feeling that stalked you wherever you went in the palace attacked then, to a level of discomforting pain you didn’t quite know how to process.“Who—oh.”Jaehyun was staring in the direction of her portrait and you were so glad you were far enough away it was impossible to tell if your face was hers again. You couldn’t handle that, not when he was speaking in the wispiest little tone, “The final memory of my previous existence is receiving written correspondence from the Lady’s good sister, in which she admonished me for several rumors she’d heard.”Your dad was……… right? Was there really a true love curse lurking in these halls?You couldn’t believe you were about to make this dumb of a joke, “Is it a rumor I could guess without thinking hard?”He blushed a little, one spot of faint pink on his neck crept up to his earlobe.“I mean…” There was no rational explanation for why you started babbling, other than to distract yourself from what he’d just confirmed, “Hongseok, Nayeon’s romantic partner, fucked around behind her back once. I broke his nose when I caught him. On accident. Allegedly.”A few years ago, he made out with this god-awful VBeach influencer who couldn’t hold a candle to Nayeon in any way. You saw that bullshit from across the club, then ended up slamming your fist right into his nose when you were next to him on the dance floor. You claimed you ‘accidentally fist pumped too hard while feeling the music.’Lmao.Sisterhood girl power hadn’t changed in three centuries.Jaehyun seemed amused and terrified at the same time and his ear was so red. “Would Lady Nayeon react in the same manner towards you?”She’d do worse. She’d do way, way worse.“Me and Johnny aren’t engaged. But she would—”“I regret my actions towards her,” Jaehyun said out of nowhere. His fingers tensed into familiar half-fists against the fabric of his pants and a hoarse exhale sunk into his words, “I was not at all prepared to be betrothed and behaved… in a manner the crown prince should not.” He closed his eyes as if he could erase it all and you waited with baited breath for his little remorseful laugh, “But I thought the match could have been agreeable for both of us. I found her charming in the correspondences we shared. She revealed to me the tale of her mother scolding her for hiking her skirts up while she walked and revealing her ankle.”Apparently, you were more similar than in just your looks. Lol.“She probably liked you,” you answered with a bit of weird self-reflection. “I guess she just wanted someone to… love her completely?”Apparently, you were more similar than in just your looks and wild habits.Girls never stopped feeling insecure when it seemed like they were not good enough for the guy they liked.“Yes. At the very minimum, I may derive some satisfaction in the knowledge that she is at peace,” Jaehyun murmured as his eyes lingered by her portrait one final time.This wasn’t a shard of jealousy you felt stabbing into your chest, it was that nameless, restless emotion you could not describe.You operated your life however the fuck you wanted, but you felt like a stupid little kitten trying to be brave enough to put your hand on his. “One last piece of advice. Don’t hold this shit in, talk to someone about it.” It felt kinda slimy to plug your selfish interests into your very real concern, but you had to, “Lady Yuna tried her best to comfort you today.”He made such a weird face. Yikes! Not good!That meant he didn’t think of her as his first source of support, it was someone else instead…You gulped nervously and wondered, “Or Lady Eunbi, maybe?”This was jealousy, hot and ugly and evil as it coursed through the veins in your arm to burn where your fingers were in contact with his. Like your body knew another’s was supposed to be there.“For what reason would I do that?” To his credit, Jaehyun seemed genuinely confused as to why you bring her up.You managed to sound as casual as possible throwing it out there, “You seem to like her or whatever.”You just had to know. You couldn’t… keep doing this shit without knowing.His hand closed around yours so you were trapped in the charming embrace of his elegant fingers, then he whispered in your ear, “I have discussed the dilemma with the pertinent individual.”God, you were a fucking idiot for blinking hard and swooning a little, but could you be blamed? When Jaehyun pressed his leg into yours like he did, when he shook your intertwined fingers like he did? He truly had the most gorgeous hands to complement his stunning eyes and his… beautiful heart, every single thing about him was crafted with the intentions of making him unforgettable.You nudged the Ferrero Rocher over with your foot and the fond wrinkles that exploded by his nose when he couldn’t hold back his goofy grin? You could’ve stared at them for a stupidly long time.Your dumb smile even lingered minutes later, when you left him on his own to think about everything you discussed. It was so stuck on your face and in your brain that you waved down a waiting Solar with genuine gleeful energy, “Hey! Wanna drink with us tonight? Could be a fun girls’ night—”“What he conveyed regarding the Lady of the Violets was not true.”Her distressed face sent a shot of sobriety right to your chest.“I dunno… seemed pretty true to me.” The level of honesty that you and Jaehyun communicated with was almost frightening. It felt like the easiest thing in the world to share secrets together, knowing they’d be safe under each other’s watch.You only wished you were able to cross that final boundary and tell him about the realities of your life.Solar shook her head fiercely and her eyes slipped closed as she whispered to herself, “She is not at peace, we cannot be at peace until the curse is broken.”Uh?“Only true love can break it. She can only be freed with true love’s kiss.”“Ooooookay.” You were friends with some girls who liked crystals and the stars and all that bullshit but this was getting to be too much for you. “Cool. Good luck to her with that.”Your colonial twin was freed by whichever hot lord she married after Jaehyun temporarily kicked the bucket. It was pretty obvious - from Jaehyun's stories and from your dad’s research - that she lived the happiest life possible after that.Solar stopped you from walking away and implored you with tears falling out of her eyes, “Will you help the prince break the curse?”“Isn’t that what I’m doing?” You were once again lost for words when confronted with her vaguely prophetic questions. Once Jaehyun found a wife to enter into a respectful marriage with (hopefully not repeating his mistakes with the old one, lol) everything should be cool? Not that you believed in curses or anything, that was one thing you def didn’t see eye-to-eye with your dad on.“No. Will you help the prince?”Did she mean… what? What the hell? Was everyone here on some brand of strong drug that you’d never encountered before?Why did they keep implying that you and Jaehyun were meant for each other? 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Johnny had been so touchy the whole morning and it was officially annoying the fuck out of you. One more neck kiss and you were gonna think about throwing hands. One more whiny comment like his, “Why don’t you just come back to VBeach with me after my show?,” and you were definitely throwing hands….You were standing in the middle of the palace foyer and couldn’t get into a fist fight 'cause it wouldn't be proper. So you let out this fake sad sigh instead, “I can’t.”“Not forever, I know your silly thing here is important or whatever.” You were officially turned off now, no matter how much Sexy Voice he used, “We could spend a whole week in my bed.”His twin bed…… ew.You tried to avoid that possibility as best as you could, “You can just come back here.”“Everyone looks at me weird because I have holes in my jeans," he whined.The nearest security guard was one hundred percent not looking at Johnny’s jeans and was instead attempting to figure out if Johnny was dangerous... because of the bloody knife tattoo visible through his knee hole. And everyone else looked at him because they thought he was hot and that was something you did not want to discuss. His already big head would explode all over the place.“Can you act like a gentleman for once in your life?”“Since when was that something you liked?”Um. Hmm.While you were fighting for your life figuring out how to change the subject, you were interrupted by the arrival of Mark…. who bowed deeper than either of you deserved and addressed you both, “Ahem. Pardon me, Lady Chancellor, Mr. Suh. But the prince has summoned those involved in the proceedings for an impromptu assembly.”Your sudden distress was overwhelming and intense, leaving you disoriented for a second that you absolutely hated. Did Jaehyun pick someone without you realizing? What else could an impromptu assembly possibly be? You didn’t even know what the word impromptu meant.Johnny didn’t seem to give a single fuck. “I’m heading out to do my show, I can’t—”You looped a hand around his bicep and clung onto him for dear life as you politely responded to Mark, “We will take the invitation. Thank you, Chancellor Mark.”Was it fucked up to say you didn’t want to be alone if this ended up being what you thought it was?“And…. Thank you.” You hadn’t expected that subtle response from Mark and this strange, yet not unpleasant warmth built between the two of you.It wasn’t just for accepting the invitation, the hidden shake of his hands gave it all away. He was thanking you for what you did the other day in front of the crowd. After a whole career of doing nothing (not his fault!) you knew it was totally terrifying for Mark to stand his ground against CookEmBoi with no internal bitch gene to activate. You had to give him props. You were only there to help, same as he was.Johnny again tried to get out of it, “Imma ghost right now. See ya.”You cemented your grip around his arm. “No. You’ve been here for a whole weekend and you haven’t met the owner of the place you’re staying in. Don't be fucking rude.”And for your own sanity, you figured seeing the two of them talk would put an end to your temporary insanity.He rolled his eyes at you. “Since when did you stick to the rules of etiquette? Did Head Bitch put you in cotillion?—”You ignored the rude ass comment and started to drag him along with you. You were sick and tired of him giving you attitude when this whole palace job wasn’t something you were doing just to meet other dudes and poke holes in your relationship. You thought about telling him the truth for a fleeting second and the idea of doing so made your stomach hurt so badly you thought you might pass out.Johnny gave up protesting and ended up stomping alongside you while pouting. “Alright, alright. Jesus. Don’t act all bitchy.”After a whole weekend of him being a douchebag for no reason, you found yourself fussing, “I get that he’s a guy your age, but don’t call him dude or address him with hey you. Use Prince Jaehyun or Prince or his official title, your highness—” a familiar face stopped your rant before you could continue, “Na? I thought you and Hongseok were going to dinner.”Nayeon turned over her shoulder, shot you the most unenthusiastic smile, and said, “Nope.”This was supposed to be the start of a romantic night that her boyfriend set up for the two of them to reconnect. You gave him directions to one of the sitting rooms that no one used and stole some nice wine from the kitchens, just to… be a good wingwoman. You couldn’t give less of a shit about him, but the plan was all for Nayeon.“Where is he?”“I don’t want to talk about it.”Uh oh.Before you could ask what the fuck had gone down in the past hour, Johnny hissed in your ear, “He’s probably at the show... where I’m supposed to be!”If he didn’t shut up soon, the BFFFs were going 2 for 2 in fucking off men tonight.You switched the hand that was holding onto his tee so you could corral Johnny and grab Nayeon’s hand in support at the same time. The three of you walked to the ballroom, filled to the brim with everyone in the palace, and you did not like this vibe. A pretty audible buzz of anticipation settled over the space and you sunk into the same uncomfortable mood, unable to decide if you were supposed to be nervous or not.“Attention, everyone! Attention! His royal highness has an announcement to make.”Swear to god, when Jaehyun walked up to meet Mark at the top of the stairs and you saw that his overcoat was the nice one with gold leaves stitched into the arms... you actually almost tequila-blacked out.Seriously, you saw the little spots in your vision and everything.“Greetings palace staff, ladies. I aim to express my deepest gratitude towards you all, for accommodating a breakage in the hallowed time of your day for me.” He was speaking in his usual deep, even voice but your ears could not process anything but the intense breaths you were taking to stay calm— “I am delighted to make the announcement that I will be conducting the first royal ball of this new era. The monetary gains collected will be given to the alms people of Virginia.”You let out a disbelieving laugh as the people around you reacted to the surprise - a mixture of excitement at the idea of a ball, followed by hidden disappointment that it wasn’t the announcement.Thank god it wasn’t the announcement.Also, the alms people of Virginia…..........................? He was crazy.Nayeon was wiggling in excitement and across the room, Yuna was freaking the fuck out like she’d just been told Justin Bieber was going to be performing. And Johnny still didn’t give a fuck, he leaned in and grumbled, “Why are you laughing? What’s an alms people.”You shushed him to watch Jaehyun, happy as a clam as he waved to the crowd, finish his speech, “I thought it might be both prudent and amusing if we were to practice our dancing together as a group!”You tickled Johnny’s arm and immediately teased, “You wanna dance with me?”“No,” he then proceeded to gag, dry heave, and gag again, making sure you knew the idea was awful. “I like dancing in a club with no lights on. You want me to grind on you here? I’ll do that.”The girls were pairing up with the palace workers who'd hung out to have some fun and some of them even latched onto each other to goof off. And there you were in the back of the room, standing there like an idiot beside your partner... who never seemed to be interested in anything you wanted to do.Ugh, why was he being such an asshole.You weren’t going to stand around and beg Johnny to do something this simple and unproblematic, so you decided to ask Nayeon to break it down with you… only, she was distracted watching Mark and Lady Eunbi caught in a confrontation that didn’t look exactly friendly. No, she looked like she wanted to kill him while he was talking at her, “Lady Eunbi, we don’t have a male partner for you at the moment.”You didn’t get what the big deal was, the dance floor was filled with people waltzing with each other no matter who they were.“I can just dance with the prince, right?” She gestured over to Jaehyun, laughing along with Lady Dawon as they waltzed across the floor in mismatched sync. Lady Eunbi acting like it was her god-given right to cut in and steal the dance had this pulse-y ache rippling under the wildflower tattoo on your chest.Why did this keep happening? It felt so shitty every time.“He will spend his time in even increments meandering throughout the floor, do not interrupt him,” Mark denied her politely, then walked away before she could strong-arm him into letting her do what she wanted.You were more than a little surprised when Nayeon walked over to try and save the day, “I can help.”Lady Eunbi’s beautiful face crinkled in disgust and she shot it down, “Absolutely not.”“It’s not like we have to date after or something. You wanna dance alone and look like a loser?” Nayeon took it like a champ, her response was filled with such sweet, teasing laughter, so subdued and uncharacteristic for a loudmouth like her.What was even more surprising was it took less than a second for Lady Eunbi to cave, despite making a big fuss protest, “Ugh, alright. I guess.”But you caught undeniable flashes of happiness from both of them as they walked onto the dance floor and linked hands to skip around, like they only knew how to stupidly smile, nothing else. Ugh, why did that take the ache away and replace it with a subtle stab of disloyalty? That girl fucked the prince, there was only one side for Nayeon to be on here…You flinched when Johnny’s question crept into your ear, “What was that all about?”“We don’t like her…” You had to edit that statement as soon as you said it, “Er, I don’t like her and Na has been trying to convince me to like her... for some weird ass reason.”Keep your friends close but your enemies closer had never been a truer statement.“Oooh, she must be a baddie. I’ve only heard you say that when you were jealous over girls who wanted to sleep with me.” Johnny nudged you in the side over and over and over again to get some kind of reaction out of you.Uh…………………………………………Fuck.“Wait, look at this funny-ass dude.”Johnny starting laughing his ass off out of nowhere at the sight of… Jaehyun, standing like a limp little scarecrow next to Yuna as she taught him a fucking TikTok dance for her mom to film. Based on the blank look on his face, he had no idea what the hell was going on, but was along for the ride just to be polite to her. Which, stupidly enough, replaced that poisonous feeling in your chest with such unfamiliar, overwhelming fondness.Johnny could not stop cackling at the funniest thing he thought he'd ever see, “I would kill for a live feed of him just, like, being thrown into our part of VBeach. Dude would prance back to his goddamn grave.”That lit the arguing fire in you, “Leave him alone. If you went back to the time he grew up in, you’d contract a disease and die.”Different era, but he’d be one of those early deaths on the Oregon Trail from dysentery or what the fuck ever. Dude had zero survival instincts.He thought he was the hottest shit ever though, which his over-the-top bragging proved, “I’d be a founding father.”Yeah, he was douchey enough for one those powdered wigs.“FYI, they didn’t have Red Bull or coke. Or coke. Or DJs.”“You don’t think I could bump ye olde tavern tune?—Look at her. She’s drooling!”Jaehyun was flailing his arms around trying to keep up with Yuna and you could see from across the room how her eyes just sparkled every time she looked up at his face.“I know. I think he finds it charming,” you mumbled.Which should’ve felt like a grand slam victory, 'cause you’d been training the prince to be fond of her like you were that scientist dude with the dogs.“I guess if I had to choose between the hot bitchy one or wifey energy, I’d pick the girl who fawns over me,” Johnny mused. “Seems like Nay is vibing the bitchiness, though.”Ugh, the weird feeling was fucking back and you did not know how to deal with it.You focused on the second part of his comment and peeked to see that Nayeon and Lady Eunbi were having the time of their lives out in the middle of the dance floor. Even though there was nothing but subtle violin music being pumped through the speakers, they were giggling their little hearts out and skipping around in a circle while still holding hands.And it was impossible not to zoom out and soak in the sweet ambiance of the room in general. This was the first time it felt like there was genuine happiness in the palace, not as a fake overtone shielding the cattiness and competition. The girls were dancing with each other without drama, the staff were enjoying themselves, Mark was taking a break to soak it all in, the prince was—“Lady Blueberry. You received my invitation.”The prince was right in front of you.It was a struggle to look Jaehyun in the eye when he was this handsome up close. That was… not good.You blinked slowly to reorient yourself, then made a vague gesture to the man beside you. “Your highness. This is Johnny.”“Dope to meet you, your majesty,” Johnny failed to meet any rules of decorum, then ignored your hissed reminder of Highness! Your highness! to make the worst possible joke, “It’s ‘cause he doesn’t look high. Get it?”Oh, he was going to get you fired.“You’re literally not funny,” you grunted at him under your breath before you smiled at Jaehyun like there was nothing wrong. “Thank you for letting us to stay here together.”Truth be told, you had no idea what you were supposed to anticipate in having the two of them cross paths like this. But it was certainly not Jaehyun behaving the way he normally did, without any hints that he might be bothered by Johnny, “It was no hindrance. But may I ask? Why are you not dancing together as a couple?”That was a stupid thing to think. Why would he be bothered in the first place?“I—”Johnny spoke over you before you could answer that you did want to dance, “We’re conserving energy. I have a show tonight I’m performing,” then his fingers possessively curled into your shoulder, over the tattooed outline of a rainbow cascading from a cloud.Jaehyun’s face shone with innocent curiosity as he asked, “Which one of Handel's concertos might you perform?”Lol.Johnny stared at Jaehyun like he was a lunatic, then turned away to activate Siri on his phone and grunt into the speaker, Who’s Handel? He pronounced it like shower handle (already bad!!) before muttering to himself, Is that a DJ I don’t know? What's a concerto?(Horrible! How was he the one who had fewer brain cells between the two of them?!)Then you quickly realized why Jaehyun had asked something that dumb. It wasn't on purpose, it was so you were freed from your man friend, long enough for him to grab your hand and quietly ask, “Would you care to accompany me in a dance?”Your fingers were on fire. Literal fire, there was no explanation for the sudden blaze of goosebumps spreading up your arm.And if Johnny didn’t want to dance with you, then why the fuck would you say no.As soon as you nodded, Jaehyun’s fingers closed around yours and he wondered, “Do you know how?”When the hell would you have been able to pay for waltz lessons in between being devastatingly poor and being really fucking poor?Sheepish denial must’ve built on your face as you walked to the dance floor, because Jaehyun gave you calm and collected instructions once you were standing there together, “You must hold my shoulder and my hand in synchrony and allow me to lead you…” then his dimples pressed into their deepest possible points, as a lead in to his flirty comment, “…which I am convinced will be your greatest challenge.”You rolled your eyes hard, just so he wouldn’t be able to see the thrills you were experiencing.Either he had the most delicate touch possible or he was being careful with you, you weren't sure. But there were no words to explain how comforting and tender his hands were as he took yours and placed them in the proper hold - one smoothed across his broad shoulder, the other tucked into his palm. Jaehyun let his fingers trace over the curve of your waist where he had to hold you and that was pretty much the first time ever you wished you’d picked the longer shirt instead of this cropped baby tee. Because every time he wasn’t careful enough and his fingertips dragged across your bare skin, you literally forgot what it meant to exist.This was scrambling your brain hard, so as he guided you into smooth, easy box steps, you decided to be a bitchy asshole, “So, you asked me to dance just to add to your power as a man?”“I did so because I desired to.”You weren’t feeling anything.............................................. You weren’t.“Additionally, I must inquire. Did you find pleasure in my announcement?” Jaehyun's self-satisfied smile only got bigger as he twirled you under his arm and exploded the dizziness in your brain.Did you like the charity ball idea he created after you suggested it?Hmm…. Hard to say!“Do I have to ask Chancellor Mark to explain what plagiarism is? Or can I skip to hiring a lawyer and collecting the penalty fines directly from you?” you argued, in a tone that you swore wasn't supposed to be flirty. It just came out that way.Jaehyun squeezed where your hands were linked and let out one of his cute honking cackles, “Do not fret, you will be deemed the first alms person on the list.”It was so stupid for him to say that, considering you were not the poorest person in Virginia by any means. But the sentiment made your heart skip an impossibly strange beat.“Is there some kind of special tradition for your balls or whatever?” you asked.You couldn’t even laugh at the word balls. That’s when you knew you were in trouble.“The first dance is indubitably reserved for the…” He stopped in the middle of his sentence to sweep you into his arms and lower you into a fast, surprise dip that had your heartbeat soaring, even more so when his sweet, wicked smile came into view. “…one woman the prince most highly favors.”He brought you back upright just as fast and you went so lightheaded that what came out of your mouth was, “Is this an audition?”Why the fuck would he tell you this? Unless he… he…The two of you were still waltzing, somehow not stepping on each other’s feet as you moved in this perfect circle without breaking eye contact once. Jaehyun brought his head in close enough that you got goosebumps on your nose after his subtle exhale, “Have you begun to regard yourself as involved in the proceedings?”“I will never regard myself as involved in the proceedings,” you countered as fast as you could.This was so, so, so dangerous. So dangerously close to a line that you knew you couldn’t cross... yet was almost impossible to see.He played it off with the casually enticing air of a man who knew what the fuck he was doing to you, “What a pity. I can only consider those involved in the proceedings.”“Ah, I only like guys who break the rules.” You were flirting, you were flirting hard, and you were not going to stop.Jaehyun lifted a challenging eyebrow that incited a jolt of hot energy in you, fueled by his hands tightening on your body. “Is that why you have allowed Mr. Strong John to parade about as—if he was a peacock?”He faltered in the middle of his sentence and you took that chance to tease, “Dude, if you’re going to insult him, just go for it. I won’t tell on you.”Was that one of the hints you were looking for?“That was not my intention.”He gestured behind you with a flick of his chin and as you stepped around in one more waltzing circle, you caught a glimpse of Johnny storming out the double doors with his stuff. Unfortunately, you were pretty much required to go see what the hell that was about. And Jaehyun seemed to know that you were, since he let you go right away…Until he didn’t.His hand twisted around yours with some insistent pressure and it reflected in his words, “Wait.” He lowered his voice so there was no chance anyone else pick up on the longing undertone, “I wish to share another dance with you.”Your heart was skipping every other fucking beat at this point, pushing you towards admitting what you were in denial about.You gripped Jaehyun’s hand and said breathlessly, “I’ll come back, I promise.”Satisfied, he let you go with a bow of his head and you quickly made your way through the still-dancing crowd, who'd paid zero attention to the bubble that had trapped the two of you. Nobody gave a shit that you just went through something. And now you had to clear your head as fast as possible to figure out what was going on.Running to try and catch up to Johnny wasn’t enough, you had to raise your voice to get him to stop, “You were just going to leave without saying bye?!”He turned to give you the coldest look possible, then said with a sharp edge, “I mean, I didn’t want to watch that loser grope you, so yeah.”Your urge to fight had never been activated faster, “Sounds like you’re jealous.”“Why would I be?”But you could tell by the look in Johnny's eyes he didn’t enjoy any of that.Good.Poking the bear like this was fun, knowing how many times he’d subjected you to the reverse, “Yeah, why would you be? Not when you could fuck any girl you wanted tonight and get over it.”He was such a fucking hypocrite. You were never in denial about that fact but maybe you were finally accepting it.Johnny kept acting like you were spewing bullshit, “That’s besides the point.”“That is the point!” Your subdued anger finally reached a boiling point and you shouted at him in the middle of the empty hallway, “If I’m not your girlfriend, then don’t get jealous! Fuck off!”How was any of this fair?!“Wow. You fuck off!” He escalated into shouting as well, “In fact, maybe just stay here and become one of his combines!”In his efforts to design a specific insult to own you, he picked the wrong word and you felt like such a smug bitch when you used it against him, “It’s concubine, you asshole. Read a fucking book!”“Maybe graduate high school!”That was honestly such a low blow.As soon as he realized what he said, Johnny stared at you in horror, knowing right then that he fucked up so impossibly badly. He processed that you were not insulting him back and were instead wrestling with the sudden, dreadful combination of inadequacy and pained sadness. His mouth trembled with an apology that he would never give because of his pride and instead, he just ran out of there as fast as he could.Wow.Wow, wow, wow. That was the fucking shittiest thing he could’ve ever said to you.How was it your fault that you couldn’t afford private school anymore so you dropped out. Then were so worried about paying off your dad’s medical bills that you decided never going back and getting a job was the better answer....“You!”One syllable of Jessica’s voice and something inside you broke, “Fucking what?!”She advanced on you so fast your shoulder blades hit the marble wall as you ducked away from her. “I think you mean yes, madam!”The fear was inescapable - of the awful memories, of every time you'd felt like such an uneducated loser, of everyone in that ballroom finding out what a fucking fraud you were because you couldn’t control yourself.“Yes, madam,” you whispered.Now that you were submitting, she straightened herself out from displaying more anger and began scolding you, “You’ve been running around with your boy toy far too much, it seems like you’ve forgotten the task at hand.”“What?”“You’ve spent more time dancing with the prince than Yuna has tonight. I’ve had enough of you.” Jessica pointed a finger in your face and truly assumed the title of evil stepmother as she ordered, “You are going to orchestrate a grand spectacle to ensure that the prince selects her for the first dance. No matter what, no matter the cost, if you have to spend all the money you have, then do it.”She stole the phone out of your hand and you let her, not even putting up a fight despite knowing that she was transferring all the money you'd made to herself. The hostility and the sadness and every other feeling was sucked out of you, leaving behind a weightless, empty shell, now re-realizing that you’d never ever get what you wanted in your life.Nothing left to lose, you gathered your balls up again and sarcastically wondered, “What will you have me do to accomplish this?”“That is a problem for you to solve,” she spit in response. “You said you would make her the princess, so make her the princess.”You saluted with fake enthusiasm and chirped, “Yes, madam!”When she moved out of the way, you caught a glimpse of the dancing through the double doors. Jaehyun was linked with Nayeon and Lady Eunbi, the three of them were laughing so hard about something they’d given up on dancing to just stand there and hold their stomachs. You felt the small stirrings of joy again and figured you’d waltz with him one last time then erase everything you’d ever felt—Extreme pain bit into your arm where manicured nails were stabbing into your skin, after Jessica had… grabbed you to stop you from going inside. It felt like she truly hated you when she threatened calmly, “If I see you dance with the prince again, it is over for you.”Jessica threw you aside then re-entered the ballroom on her own and you did not follow. And when Jaehyun stood on his tiptoes to look over the heads of everyone in the ballroom… in hopes of figuring out where you were… you fled to your room as fast as you could. — “What do you think?”Your morbid thought that the reddened marks from Jessica’s claws would make a sick AF arm tattoo dissipated in a monstrosity of pink and glitter that hurt your eyes. Yuna’s beautifully decorated cardboard sign that said BALL? in her curlycue handwriting was certainly something.You didn’t feel good, your stomach hurt.Your brain did, too, since you still couldn’t think of a ballsack joke.“Looks great,” you said with false enthusiasm and went back to staring at the nail marks on your arm.Why couldn’t have you had a physical reminder of the time you spent waltzing with Jaehyun instead? You actually would’ve gotten a tattoo of that, which was… insane for you to admit.“I can’t believe I didn’t think of my prom asking! Prom queen, prom prince! It all makes sense!" Yuna chirped with happiness, before her confusion set in as she looked at you. "Wait. How did you have this idea if you never won prom queen?”What a fucking weird ass metaphor for her to choose.As for how you came up with the idea? You told the them that you were up all night thinking of how to help. The truth was, you literally Googled fun ways to ask someone to a dance, bookmarked the first bullshit article you saw, then laid in bed for the rest of the night - wide awake, staring at the wispy canopies and trying to dissociate from every bit of your feelings. When you did fall asleep, it was as dreamless and empty as always, no glimpse of your dad to hope for.You swerved around that question, “Never mind, let’s practice what you’re going to say one more time.”She read off the script you wrote on the back of her poster, word for word and without looking up once, “I really like you and I have since we met. I think that I’m falling for you and I would love it if you invited me to be the first person to dance with you at the ball.”
The first dance is indubitably reserved for the one woman the prince most highly favors.
“And then?” you beckoned.“The poem.” Her bright, proud smile fell after a second when she couldn’t remember more than that. “What poem was it again?”You snuck a glance at the journal in your lap and repeated what she needed to know, “The poem is by Benjamin Jonson. It's called Song: to Celia.”You’d skimmed through the chapter on Jaehyun’s hobbies to see if anything stood out or could help you. The details started to hurt the longer you read, like knowing he learned to sew from his mother’s favorite maid, but something eventually stuck in your brain.Yuna was not as cool with this part of the plan, “Who’s Celia? And why am I reading him the poem, he should read me a poem.”What’d lingered was the line that read: The prince was supposed to have been educated in all popular poetry of the time. There was a list of Jaehyun's favorite poets, then a note from your dad made your chest sting, Maybe Blue will realize these are the old school version of songs. She keeps saying she thinks they’re dumb, haha. She’s so funny, I love her.And your dad must’ve worked on this section with Professor Song, because her cursive handwriting had added in the only full example, next to the final name on the poets list.

Benjamin Jonson - most well known poem: ‘Song: To Celia,’ copied in here.

Drink to me only with thine eyes,

And I will pledge with mine;

Or leave a kiss but in the cup,

And I’ll not look for wine.

The thirst that from the soul doth rise

Doth ask a drink divine;

But might I of Jove’s nectar sup,

I would not change for thine.

I sent thee late a rosy wreath,

Not so much honouring thee

As giving it a hope, that there

It could not withered be.

But thou thereon didst only breathe,

And sent’st it back to me;

Since when it grows, and smells, I swear,

Not of itself, but thee.

Summary: The love poem discusses pledging one’s love with only a look and likening it to the most indulgent of wines. The author sends his true love roses and when she sends them back, he implies that the scent of her on them is superiorly unforgettable.

That was kinda gross, right? And not at all romantic?Yuna was still babbling, “I should just say I think he’s sooooo sexy and we’d make really cute babies.”“Maybe save that for when you get engaged.” You fell into soft silence as you thought of something more heartfelt and honest for her to say. “Tell him… he doesn’t need to be the prince when he’s around you, he can just be Jaehyun.”The moments he let himself go - when you’d talk with no boundaries, when you could share a piece of candy in secret, when he flirted with you like any other thirty-year-old man would - were the moments that you liked him the most............“Why?” Yuna’s baffled reaction had coldness sweeping across the back of your neck.“Just do it,” you said quietly.Your stomach hurt even worse than before.“Okay! I’m going to go put on my dress now, wish me luck!” Yuna hugged you like you’d just picked out her engagement ring, then she took her sign and scurried out of your room without bothering to clean up the craft supplies still on your floor.It was honestly a copycat scene from a shitty comedy movie: you, waving to her turned back and mumbling the stupidest, “Good luck!,” possible.You needed to start drinking, like, yesterday—“You.”This was getting to be too much. Why did Jessica look so suspicious if she was there and listening the whole time? Sorry you didn’t also give your one special dress to Yuna to use, but what more did she want?“What now? I did what you asked," you sighed in preemptive defeat.“Where did you get all those ideas from?”You were tired and your whole body hurt from processing these whiplashed feelings, so you let out another sigh and tried to be honest, “Honestly, I get that you think I’m stupid, but my dad...."“Sounded quite like the ideas of a girl with a crush,” Jessica interrupted you, simple, to the point, and sharpened to a razor’s edge. “They better not be.”She strode out of your room, leaving your squashed bug corpse behind.You found yourself stuck in this sinking quicksand of confusion, trying to figure out if she knew something you didn’t. She asked you to plan this big romantic gesture and you did, so why was she making a big deal out of the fact that it felt romantic?!And they weren’t the ideas of a girl with a crush! They weren’t.After a dramatic collapse onto a chair that made you feel better, you hollered through the double doors of your dressing room, “Na, you can come out now! They left while you were napping!”The doors flew open and you went from a comedy movie to a bloody horror film, because Nayeon wasn’t the one who opened them. It was... Lady Eunbi, with Lady Dawon and Lady Solbin flanking either side of her like that freaky three-headed dog come to life.Three-headed bitch kinda worked there, lol.Nayeon snuck to the side in her wrinkled pajamas, unable to look you in the eye as she mumbled an apology, “Sorry. They invoked my mama.”Phew, were they trying to provoke you? Because using your favorite person’s favorite person to get insider gossip was the #1 way for them to earn a certified Blue freakout.But you just flipped your hair and said just as flippantly, “What, are you breaking up with me or something? I’m taken.”“What is your relationship with Lady Yuna?” Lady Eunbi was the ringleader and the other two backed up everything she did as she went down the warpath. “You have been moving with incredibly suspicious intentions this whole time and now you’re orchestrating a courting gesture for her? What is going on here?”They all had publicists and stylists doing the same for them, but now they wanted to complain? That was classist as fuck!… and probably sexist, too, in some way, shape, or form!“You’re just worried you’re losing,” you sneered.“It’s unfair! The prince does whatever you say, how could we stand a chance!” Lady Solbin’s argument was levelheaded enough, but she also sounded like a crazy person for suggesting that.Or maybe you were the crazy person.Because hearing from a third party that it was obvious Jaehyun listened to and cared about the things you had to say? After an entire life of no one doing so? Why was your heart doing that stupid skip thing again.Lady Dawon butted into the clash as best she could to shout, “You’re sabotaging the competition!,” and sloshed her wine glass around.“Oh, so this is a competition now? Not a genuine attempt at forming a relationship with the prince?” You played fake dumb as you tempted the three of them to incriminate themselves. “Sorry, I thought that’s what this was.”Lady Eunbi lost control and shouted in your face, “Not that you would know what a genuine relationship was in the first place!”Nayeon looked genuinely horrified watching this unfold, but for some reason, you found the puny little insult fucking hilarious.“Sure, I may be a slut, but at least I can acknowledge that. I’m proud of it, in fact!" You laughed so hard your abs burned with the effort, before you unleashed hell on her, "Maybe if you got fucked every once in a while, you wouldn’t be acting like this!”This loser was so repressed from feeling anything that wasn’t duty-related, she hadn't realized her head was so far up her own ass she was spewing her own shit!She stared at you with so much hate in her eyes. “Maybe if you weren’t such a cunt—”“That lady is her stepmom and she’s an asshole!”Time slowed to this impossible pace - as slow as the three hundred passing years Jaehyun slept through - allowing you to see just how upset Nayeon got at Lady Eunbi calling you that word. It pushed her to the point where she lost all control and blurted your secret out.You heard Lady Eunbi’s disbelieving gasp of, “Your stepmother?,” then every single molecule of pain you’d ever felt in your life collided into your heart.“You’re such a loud-mouthed bitch. No wonder you couldn’t cut it as a lawyer,” you snapped at Nayeon.You didn't truly mean it, but what else were you supposed to do besides unload your anger?!A horrible tear slid down her cheek as she shook her head in regret. “Sorry. I hate fighting. Just tell them.”Every point in your body felt like it wasn’t there anymore, too overcome to continue on existing. And unfortunately for you, the only solution to the dilemma your best friend in the world put you in was to... tell the fucking truth.“Yes, she and my dad got married when I was fourteen, a year before he died,” you explained to your shoes, a pair of sneakers you’d owned for ten years because you couldn’t afford more. “I… owe my stepmom a lot of money for a loan I borrowed around then. I didn’t finish high school or go to college, so it’s hard for me to find a real job. Which means I pay her back by helping with whatever my stepsister needs, like this stuff.”Those memories slipped from their hiding spot way, way, way too easily. “Sister, I call her my sister,” you made sure to correct, because it was never Yuna’s fault that you were in this shit situation. “Sorry. I usually am a girl’s girl or whatever the hell that means, but I’ve been doing a pretty shit job at it lately.”The reason why you stuck close to Nayeon and never bothered making more female friends was that more often that not they reminded you of Yuna and Jessica. And being reminded of the two of them only made you re-experience the pain of everything else.“A loan? For what?” one of them asked.“A big… thing that I really needed at the time.” You pressed your fingers into the crest of your left eye, you needed the discomfort there to distract yourself from the tears that were beginning to appear.Lady Eunbi glanced at Nayeon, who wiped another tear away and confirmed on your behalf, “It was a fuckton of money.”It was the price of your dad’s life, but they did not deserve that detail.Your energy suddenly felt so much lighter, you were able to find something nice to say to bookend this emotional confrontation, “And for what it’s worth, I’ve never actually said anything bad about any of you to the prince. I just didn’t say anything nice, either.”Which was some fucking huge character development from you, who would’ve usually just called them bitches and ended it there.Lady Eunbi was as unreadable as always, though you couldn’t sense the same level of hatred in her that had been swirling around before. And to your surprise, both Lady Dawon and Lady Solbin were holding each other and crying these soft, sad tears. Whether they were for your story or for the fact that you were poor, you didn’t know, but it wasn’t… bad.“Say something?” you stupidly requested, unable to handle the sight of other people crying. When it made them cry harder, you dipped an awkward little curtsy in their direction and said in a light-hearted tone, “Ummmmmm. I’ll let you sit on that? Maybe smoke some weed, make a voodoo doll of me? Get your feelings out? Let’s reconvene in a few days and discuss, okay?! Cheers!”You plucked the wine glass out of Lady Dawon’s hands and downed it, because what the hell else were you going to do.Nayeon shooed them away before they could continue and when you were alone again, you were faced with her regretful tears, the worst kind of tears possible. She begged for your forgiveness right away, “I’m really sorry. They basically had it figured out already from her slipups. I thought it’d be better for it to come from you.”You were comforted by the fact that it was Yuna’s damn fault and you never broke.Your mouth opened and you worried it was going to expel something angry, only to be surprised when, “No, it’s fine… I. I feel so much better,” came out instead.“You do?”You were swept away by the unexpected calmness that you were experiencing. “I mean, they could use this to shit on me and it could all be over soon, but… it’s always such a relief when people know.”Pretending took way more of a toll on you than you ever wanted to acknowledge.“I know. I know, I know. Sorry.” Nayeon wrapped you up in a hug that you could feel her plain love in and you knew there was nothing to be mad at her about. In fact, you felt full to the brim with symmetrical love, after she’d given you the strength to be honest about it to those girls regardless of your consequences. She kissed your cheek like a true sister would, then whispered, “Let’s go steal some chocolate from the kitchen and pretend they’re edibles.”Lmao. She was the best.She tucked you into her side and you tiptoed out of the room as the degenerates you were. It was dark in the palace (Yuna needed the stars to be out for her dream ball proposal, also your idea) and you felt like teenagers again, sneaking around at a late night sleepover you had no business being awake at. Chocolate, plus a bottle of wine and a movie full of hot ass hunks, and you were good to go...“Lady Nayeon, have you seen—Lady Blueberry?”You were fucked. You were fucked, you were fucked, you were fucked.After your exhausting confrontation, you knew you should’ve been sucked dry of any emotion. But one word from Jaehyun and every nerve ending in your body was lit up with this pure…. happiness, like you were a dumbass goofy goober of SpongeBob fame. And seeing him? Even in the low-key linen shirt that she must’ve surprised him in and nothing fancy? That made you feel like things were going to be okay.Nayeon curtsied and you knew right then that she was up to no good, “Your highness. I… have to pee.”Jaehyun was as baffled as you were that that was her choice of an excuse, but he managed to pull together a polite response, “You have my leave.”“Great! Goodnight!”Then she scurried away like the disloyal rodent she was. Hahaha, what a hoe, you couldn’t believe she left you alone with him because she could not resist the urge to scheme.But being alone with Jaehyun was fine. It was totally fine, not a problem at all!And god, you had to hide your stupid giddiness under this attitude, “What the hell do you want?”Jaehyun leaned on the wall, crossing his arms over his broad chest before asking, “In the modern world, how would a man such as myself express gratitude towards a woman for a perfectly lovely gesture?”Your feelings were confused to the point that you wished you could rip them all out and never experience them again.“Any woman? Because it differs.”“An agreeable one.”Ah, so your…Yuna’s plan had gone off without a hitch. Great to hear. Really, really great.“I would plan a perfectly lovely gesture in return, such as inviting her to share the first dance with you like she requested.” No one could say you were bad at your job ever again, that felt disgusting to think and even worse to say out loud.“Perhaps a disagreeable one, then?” he amended carefully, before his dark eyes dipped to meet yours in a direct pull you never seemed able to escape.And it dawned on you.Did he somehow use his stupidly big brain to figure out that you’d planned whatever insanity he just experienced? And he was now asking for the best way to thank you?“She wouldn’t expect anything in return,” you murmured.None of this was ever about getting him to give you something.He smiled in that unforgettable way again, with the dimples and the shiny lips and the best part, the wrinkles around his nose. Then he called you out, “That is an utter falsehood and I do not intend to believe it.”“How many disagreeable woman have you met?” Did he think you were lying just to fuck with him or something? You really didn't want anything.“A select few,” Jaehyun answered.He was not backing down no matter what you tried. Your brain whirled through a thousand million billion gazillion bashful possibilities - some ridiculous, some too damn conservative - and there was a big part that was begging you to be practical and just ask him for what you needed.But the tiny part of you that still existed to be the girliest girl won, making you whisper, “Jewelry. She’s never had nice jewelry before.”Your ears were full of cheap gold piercings and you had your fair share of shoddy little necklaces and rings. But the jewelry that he could gift you was far more valuable than just the superficial price tag of twenty-four carat gold and shiny diamonds.Jaehyun dipped his head in, so you wouldn’t miss a single one of his deep, melodic words, “Only if she returns it to me after, so that I may savor the scent of her on it.The poem……………….. He definitely knew.Now that you were able to hide behind this anonymous disagreeable woman, your apologetic feelings bubbled to the surface, “She might also take this chance to provide an apology for her abrupt exit. She had promised the prince a second dance and never intended to go back on her word.”You didn’t just feel bad for breaking your promise, you were actually kinda upset you missed out on another waltz. Shocker of the century, right?Surprised and almost…. moved by your surprise confession, Jaehyun stood up with full princely posture and acted like he was making a royal decree, “She should then become aware that she mayhaps be sought out to fulfill that scorned request in a grandiose manner.”His words took a minute to fit into place (you never claimed to be a smart person!) but when their true meaning hit you… you were sure your entire body was made up of blush and nothing else.“I’m not doing the first dance with you,” you denied, denied, denied.“Wherever did you inherit the boldness to presume I might be referencing you?” Jaehyun’s scoff had so much playful energy dancing through it, but he didn't issue a denial.“My dad was a soft-spoken man, so maybe the mom I never met? All girls in my family will probably get it.” As much as your dad daydreamed in  his little journal notes about the kind of woman he hoped you would become, he never once tried to change you into something you weren’t. You loved him so fucking much for that.“I suppose we shall discover as much in due time.”A sharp little breath got caught in your throat.You stared at the rapidly spreading red on both sides of Jaehyun’s neck, moving so fast that both his ears would be covered in a matter of seconds, and tried not to get in your own head. But how could you not? After he just implied you’d find out if your bitchiness was genetic by waiting to meet… your daughters.As in, your daughters.The definition of the danger zone was here and now. Being alone with him had always been fine, had always been nothing to worry about... until he started insinuating these things he probably shouldn’t’ve been insinuating.You had to get out.So, you made the dumbest excuse, “I’ve gotta go, Nayeon and I… we were only out here ‘cause we wanted to steal sweets from the kitchen.”“Disagreeable and a thief?” Jaehyun sounded so delighted at your mischief that you figured you could open him up and pluck the fondness out of his heart like a perfectly round peach. “Chancellor Mark was correct when he instructed me that modern women may choose anything they wish to be.”He had to stop saying this stuff. It was too fucking good.Even though you didn’t really want to, you tried one last time to blow him off, “Good thing I’m not a princess, huh?”And when he only laughed, loud and unrefined, the real version of who he was at his happiest, you knew you were caught in the unbelievable depths of big trouble.Being alone with him was fine.............. until things changed. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“I’m bored.”“Same.”But you weren’t bored like Nayeon was… you’d been replaying Jaehyun implying you might have daughters together over and over and over in your head the entire night. Which was an insane thing to do for a person who never wanted to get married or have kids.She hit your arm from where she was stuffed in the pillows and revealed her grand idea, “I might have Molly in my bag.”“We would probably get federal prison time for that,” you reminded her. “You especially.” If she wanted to go back to her firm after her sabbatical, she probably shouldn’t be spending all her time off doing party drugs. Because she was going to go back, you were going to do everything you could to convince her not to listen to her idiot boyfriend.Nayeon had another degenerate suggestion, “Should we drink wine and pretend we’re actual princesses, not just scum of the earth?”You didn’t know how to tell her that the word princess had become a weird sore subject without giving your secret feelings away. Which had to stay  secret no matter what.You changed the subject, “What do you think the boys are doing right now?”What was Jaehyun doing right now? Was he with someone?“Hong is definitely doing his hair.” Nayeon snorted at the thought and it really wasn’t funny that he spent more time grooming himself than he did caring about her. “Johnny? If he’s at a show, do you have to ask?”You didn’t even want to think about that asshole.After turning over on the pillow to see for yourself if she’d bluff, you were as blunt with Nayeon as possible, “Be honest with me, because he dodged this subject so goddamn hard. Did he fuck around a lot behind my back?”It’d been five years since you were roped together in this on-off thing you couldn’t quite let go of, you knew for yourself what he did during the times you were ‘off.’ You weren't exactly loyal to him during your break periods, either. But the whole time you were stuck here at the palace, you were still ‘on,’ so... did he even give a fuck about you?She kept her face still but you could hear her answer quake, “N-not a lot, but….” You rolled your eyes at her attempt to cover it up, so she gulped down her protectiveness to whisper, “Yes.”Fucking fantastic.“Well, I say yes to the wine idea!” you announced. Whatever, dude. Whatever.“Are you okay?”Her hand snuck out to pat your arm and that truly wasn’t needed. It was about time you knocked back this shotglass of reality with no chaser, it was something you much, much needed.“Who cares.” You tried to pull her up with you now that your mind was in a whole different place. “Let’s get wasted and make out with everyone in the palace.”Not literally.Maybe.Nayeon laughed and shook you off, “Do I have to remind you that you’re the only single one—”“You coming or what, bitches?”Hearing Lady Eunbi curse as a regular part of her vocabulary and not an insult was the weirdest fucking thing you’d ever experienced. You and Nayeon looked over at the same time to see her in the doorway of your room, wearing a beautiful white summer dress and the subtle, neutral glam that you’d taught her…. and stumbling around like she’d had about fifteen Manhattans before coming by.Nayeon didn’t say anything, so you did, “What the fuck are you talking about?”“To my surprise birthday party that I know about… duh. How dare you not know when my birthday is, I told you at dance practice.” She pouted at Nayeon, acting like they were the best friends here, and you were officially weirded out.It was better than her calling you a cunt, though. Way better.Lady Eunbi pointed at the two of you and slurred, “The theme is the club. I better see you there, bitches.”Then she stumbled one last time before you heard a gaggle of giggling from her little minion friends as they left.What the fuck? Lol.“More like the country club,” you joked to yourself. Her outfit wouldn’t look out of place at the Williamsburg Country Club Jessica couldn’t afford to take over her father’s legacy membership at. You elbowed Nayeon in the ribs and scolded her playfully, “You’re a bad influence, by the way. I never thought she’d swear like that.”“Kinda cute, isn’t it? Like a puppy barking.” She laughed at the thought, in the same subdued giggles she’d been using lately.Kinda fucking weird more like it, but she’d always seen the good in Lady Eunbi or whatever.You got up to pore over the fit options in your closet, then asked, “Are we committing to being party girls?” The plan for tonight was to get drunk and make out with everyone, the standard schedule for a party night in VBeach. You didn’t see why you had to change it around just because it was some snooty lady’s birthday.“That might be a lot for here,” Nayeon answered. “But who knows the next time you’re going to go clubbing?”The sudden thought soured your mood so fucking fast. “Probably with Dumbass on her royal honeymoon.”Or maybe not, after the ladies of the palace unionized and kicked you both out of here. There hadn’t been a peep from the Three Headed Bitch about your family secrets, not until this surprise invitation neither of you were expecting. Which meant you were now unsure if you were about to walk into a trap. Fuck, lol.“That’s not what I meant—wait, you’re not going to wear that, are you?”Were you going to wear the elegant dress made out of gorgeous cloudless sky-blue silk, the dress your dad gave to you in anticipation of the sixteenth birthday he never made it to? Was she fucking serious?“No. But I found this. Is it yours?” You held up a skimpy bit of gold fabric that made up the tiniest dress ever, that you were ninety-nine percent sure you’d never seen before. Solar was the last one to be in here after hanging up your laundry, but you knew she wouldn’t be caught dead in something like this.The gleam in Nayeon's eyes at the thought of a party finally hit. “Oh, what the hell. I’m in.”It was a fucking Saturday night, after all.Two extra bottles of wine were still hidden in your nightstand, you popped one open and they were gone by the time you drew the final line of ruby eyeliner on Nayeon to match her little skirt set. And though you were already close to being tipsy - based on you both humming the United States national anthem as you collected your phones and headed to the party - you knew you had to drink a fuckton more to actually get drunk.You weren’t quite sure where the hell this dress had come from. But when you caught a glimpse of yourself in the magnificent hallway mirrors and the shiny fabric sparkled even more brilliantly… you couldn’t say you were mad at it. With your usual gold jewelry plus the subtle glitter lipgloss-eyeshadow combo, you looked like a royal clubgoer, the perfect intersection of your current interests.“You should wear that to the fucking ball, by the way, you’re fucking hot.” Nayeon snapped your halter strap, then flicked the side of your boob where it was peeking it out. “Are you sure you’re not trying to give up dick?”Apparently, you’d outdone yourself if she was leaning into her bi icon identity this early in the night.You punched the side of her boob in return and laughed, “Are you sure?”“Fucking hot, hellooooo there goldie….”That was not her voice? Unless the shitton of wine you’d just chugged had suddenly changed her vocals into the male key, you’d just been catcalled.You turned around to take the piss out of whoever it was only to see, “Mark?!”“Lady Chancellor?!”He was embarrassed as fuck as he tried to hide and almost knocked over a bust of a busty old lady. He was clearly already drunk since he couldn’t stand still worth damn and Nayeon could not stop fucking laughing or hitting you in the arm like she thought you couldn’t see him there. It was pretty funny that he’d spent all this time hating you and the second he was intoxicated promptly overstepped boundaries.You waggled your fingers and called out loudly, “If you stare too long I’m going to start charging!”“I’m not!” he squeaked.His eyes darted to the skirt slit opened up your thigh, before he let out a yelp and stared at the random silver carpet detailing instead.“Why would you be? I am a respectable palace employee after all.” A bottle of wine was nothing for your typical night out, but you didn’t mind the spark of flirty courage in your veins after these weeks of pure sobriety.“Of course you are!” Mark kept bowing to you over and over again as he fumbled his way out of it. “Enjoy the party!”You were sure he was going to piss himself in fear while he ran away as fast as possible, yet you felt stirrings of friendly fondness for him somehow. It didn’t seem like Mark was actually trying to hit on you, just that he was losing his mind stuck in this palace with no women to date for himself.Nayeon cackled loudly in your ear, almost exploding your eardrum, “That reaction means the prince is going to come in his fucking pants—” before going deadly silent. “Oh.”She’d seen a glimpse inside the party from the doors Mark had left through and it was Not Good for both of you.The ballroom was decorated with vases of overflowing calla lilies that had to be Lady Eunbi’s favorite flower and the chandelier lighting had been dimmed like the lights in the club… only because she’d wanted the soft glow of a thousand candles instead. They’d set up a long mahogany table to look like a bar, but the bougie kind that would only exist at Jessica’s weird self-help workshops that you paid for. A strings trio in the corner was playing upbeat jazz, which there was no making excuses for or saving.Country club was the theme…Fuck, that was supposed to be a joke. At least you were now officially pulling away in the not like other girls competition.Bro, you couldn’t believe you felt guilty to the point where you were getting hives, “I actually feel like a dick. It’s her birthday...” Sixth sense of fear activating, the whale tattoo up your spine shook with trembles as you watched the three headed dog trio approach… and immediately notice what you were wearing. “They’re coming. They’re coming over here, Na, we’ve gotta run.”“Pardon me!” Lady Eunbi waved and waved and waved and you seriously considered passing the fuck out.You immediately started apologizing, “Sorry. We had some… wine and when you said club, we thought it meant nightclub and not—”“The theme is nightclub! Don’t you see the decorations? We came over to ask you how much a shot of liquor is supposed to be. This much?”She held up a glass that had, like, two drops of tequila in it. LMAO.You didn’t want to ruin this by being an asshole, but you had to ask, “Er, have you ever actually been to a club?”Lady Eunbi’s face went red, a sharp contrast against how pure and white her dress was. “Um, no. But I’ve seen it many times in Sex in the City.”Hahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaahahahahah.Nayeon put her hand over the wobbly shot glass, so that Lady Eunbi had to focus on her lawyer-y expression as she negotiated on your behalf, “I’ll help you only if you forgive Blue and promise not to tell.”“We’ll only forgive her if you tell us how to get hot boyfriends,” Lady Dawon slurred half her words, that weren’t really even words anymore. And when everyone turned to look at her in hilarious surprise, she sipped her Cosmo and shrugged. “What? We’re not all going to marry the prince.”You had never felt such swirling, slimy, selfish self-interest before.“I was drunk at a club and so was Johnny," you explained the origin of your relationship while feeling no emotion whatsoever. "I am not saying to do so here, in fact, I’d probably fuckin’ advise against it. But sometimes you just gotta make out with someone.”You’re not saying it would help your case if this gaggle of girls got sloppy drunk and found a new man to swoon over. But it certainly couldn’t hurt either.What case? You didn’t have any kind of case……………You grabbed the nearest bottle of liquor - the label was covered with an aesthetic flower sticker to match the party theme, lol - and sloshed the liquid up to the insane standard volume of a Nayeon-Blue shot. “And always overpour your shot just a little. Not enough to knock ya out, but enough to give you a push.”Maybe tonight was going to be a new era of trying new things for everyone.“Oh, and remember your drink orders.” Nayeon gave them practical advice since she had no personal interests to serve here, “Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear.”She poured the shots out with a steady hand despite her drunkenness and you laughed how carefully she underpoured each of them. Girl was not going to be held legally accountable for a bunch of first time blackouts.Lady Solbin’s eyes sparkled as she stared at the shots, seeing the key to unlocking her full potential, and you felt obligated to warn her, “It’s gonna taste bad. But you gotta do what you gotta do.”Liquid courage was sometimes all you needed.A genuinely gross but also kind of cool girl power moment happened when the five of you said in unison, “You gotta do what you gotta do. Cheers!”You took shots like a pro no matter what the alcohol was, but you hung back and watched as the other four did theirs first. Nayeon was equally as good, her degenerate life and her professional life made her one of the undisputed shot GOATs, she didn’t make a sour face once the entire time. Lady Solbin got hers down but the aftertaste hit and it wasn’t long before she was gagging for a glass of soda to chase it away with. Lady Dawon spit the whole thing back out with tears in her eyes, but she did it elegantly… like she had been trained to do so.Lady Eunbi was the champ, surprise, surprise, she took the shot and groaned, “Ugh, that was bad,” but that was all.You downed yours without flinching - it was vodka! not as ass as it could’ve been! - and the burn mixed well enough with your wine buzz that you fully let loose, “Only one spitter, that’s pretty solid. We’ll say spitters aren’t quitters in this scenario.”Nayeon burst out laughing so hard that soda sprayed out of her nose. Lmao. Yes, that one was good.The other three had no idea what you were talking about. “What does that mean?”“We can’t get into blowjobs here,” Nayeon warned you as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “We just can’t…”Genius.You hit her in the arm when the idea somehow didn’t come to her at the same time. “Yo, let’s do blowjob shots. They’re sweet enough not to spit, but the more of them you drink, the harder they’ll hit.”It figured that these girly girls would love whipped cream on their drinks.Nayeon slipped into professional delegator mode as she gestured for the girls to come with her, “We’ll get the shots.” She blew you a kiss which you stole from mid-air to fake a makeout with and she cackled through her orders to you, “You stand there and look hot. I need a tally of how many guys gawk at you tonight.”You were kinda curious how tonight would unfold after the whole Mark thing happened.As you opened the weather app on your phone over and over again (the only person you ever texted was here!) you watched out of the corner of your eye for more data. Servers tripped over their feet and the bartenders spilled their drinks and every security guard that strolled by the open doors stopped for a second too long. You swore that every single man in this room acted a little degenerate about how hot you looked, which was normally something you hated. Gawking men were such useless scum.But there were always exceptions. And you didn’t give a fuck about every single man in this room—“Whatever are you wearing?”There was only one.Your double take was fucking ferocious, because that was very clearly Jaehyun’s voice but that was… that was not Jaehyun, OMFG. You mean, it was, but with his long hair swept into his eyes instead of slicked back and his broad torso filling out a dark shirt that was entirely lace across the expanse of his back… who the fuck was this man?Two bottles of wine and a shot of vodka leading you on, you skipped etiquette for outright flirting, “Just a tip, your highness. In modern day America, women can wear whatever they want.”
Even less than this.
What? What did you just think?The corner of his lip turned up, like he wanted to smirk but was controlling himself to have the upper hand here. And he denied your assumption, “That was not a derogatory comment.”“Okay. Are you saying that you wanna see all of it?”Whoa, Blue. Where the hell did that come from?Jaehyun made a purposeful effort to not let his eyes wander away from your face as his full smirk finally flashed and he answered, “Very much so.”Wait.“Are you drunk?” you blurted.He was a horny weirdo all of the time but not… to you.You were momentarily mesmerized by the sight of veins slipping in and out of his hand, wrapped around the beer glass he showed off. Then Jaehyun acted all casual, “Is there not a lively celebration of birth occurring tonight? I have consumed some celebratory libations.”He’d been drinking alcohol? Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinteresting.When there was no further protest from either of you, his eyes meandered down to where the halter straps fell over your cleavage. Like he possessed some inner power to make you bend to his will, you found yourself moving around in a slow circle so he could see the matching open back draped around your whale tattoo, the sneaky little slits opened across both of your legs. By the time you turned back around, his gaze was still locked onto the same spot on your chest, but the honey brown of his eyes had… evolved.His deep onyx irises hid behind the matching sweep of his hair as he stared and stared. Clearing his throat did nothing for him because his voice still came out so fucking hoarse, “This is the manner in which women in America dress for celebrations in this day? Fascinating.”“That’s all you’re gonna say? Chancellor Mark’s eyes almost fell out of his head.” Your fake pouty disappointment was planned - you wanted to push Jaehyun’s buttons a little, just for fun, why the hell not, to see where this could go.But he didn’t bite and the haze he was in seemed to disappear. “May I ask you a question?”“Sure.” Did you go too far or something? You thought he was playing along...“If I intended to compliment one of the women here in the manner of a twenty-first century man, what would I be obliged to say?”He had to be fucking kidding.“You’re hot,” you gritted out the answer through your teeth.You seriously let him ogle you - which you hated men doing before learning what Prince Jaehyun Jeong looked like while he did - and he repays you by going back to his historical fuckboy roots? How the fuck was that fair?He didn’t seem to care about how you were feeling, he was so focused on learning how to hit on someone, “That is the extent of the sentiment? You have warmth?”“No. You’re hot.” And you were getting seriously pissed off.“I understand. You’re hot,” Jaehyun repeated.You knew you were losing your mind when you started ranting, “Great, you sound great. Usually there’s a conversation that leads up to the you’re hot, but if you want to open with that, yeah, cool. Go forth and spread your newfound douchebaggery—”“You’re hot, Lady Blueberry.”Oh, fuck. You pushed the buttons too hard.Or maybe just hard enough, based on how quickly the tendrils of his stare re-captured you in their orbit. Jaehyun held out his beer glass like he was toasting to you and his index finger floated a lazy path in your direction. “Traverse around once more.”All that white-hot anger had nowhere to go, instead it transformed into red-blooded desire that fueled your coquettish, “Ask nicely.”If you weren’t in a room full of people, you were pretty sure he would’ve ripped apart your dress just because you didn’t immediately obey him.You saw the flex of his neck for yourself as he swallowed the more unsuitable things he wanted to say instead of, “Traverse around once more… if you please.”You wasted no time doing that and purposefully stuck your ass out a little this time, glancing over your shoulder to catch the moment he blew out a breath at the sight. That must've been a little too much for his ancient brain to handle.Those colonial dresses probably weren’t as see through or short, right? Thank the good lord George Washington for that one.Pure confidence went right to your head as you stepped back to show off even further and goad him, “So? Modern women or the women from your time?”Jaehyun didn’t stop for a second to think before he answered, “Any era in which you did not reside would be the incorrect answer.”Fuck.Then you were responding without thinking, “Unbutton a button.”He glanced down at his chest, row of buttons neatly done up to the top one, and his brow creased in confusion. “Why?”“Because I said so.” And because you wanted to see something.That was convincing enough because Jaehyun used his free hand to undo his top button, a more delicious display than him holding the beer glass. Then he went ahead and undid the second button, thinking he was so fucking smart. You were staring at the lines of his chest muscles out in the open and not hidden by the fucking linen nonsense he kept buttoned up all the time and… damn. You knew what you were doing, always.Your tongue pressed through your cheek as you took your sweet time ogling him in return. “There we fucking go—”“You’re here? You’re… Why are you dressed all slutty?”You had not a single clue how Yuna interrupted you, pulled you away, and still didn’t manage to see who you were talking to… because her tantrum was only a tantrum and not a full-blown meltdown. You were the one who was about to have a meltdown, since it was so ironic that she was accusing you of being a slut when everything about your secret obsession indicated otherwise.“What the fuck did you say to me?” you laughed in disbelief.“You’re dressed slutty! You look like a slut!” Her champagne glass sloshed around in her hand as she pointed to your dress like it was the shroud of the devil or whatever. Never mind that the creamsicle dress she had on had enough total cutouts that she was showing the same amount of skin that you were.You plucked the booze glass out of her hand and did the parenting she lacked, “I know your mom acts like this, but being drunk isn’t an excuse to be a huge asshole.”“You always steal my boyfriends! Frick you!” She shook her fist at you, wanting to give you the middle finger yet unable to commit to that or cursing properly.Oh? So she did see who you were talking with?If one tiny dress was enough to make her feel like this again - after falsely accusing you of the same thing years ago with her ex, Felix - then maybe she just needed to work a little harder.“Why are you so mad?” This whole thing was suddenly so goddamn funny.“He didn’t ask me to marry him! You said the poem would work!” You didn’t understand how Yuna's failure was your problem… and the poem did work. In fact, what happened after was pretty fucking satisfying for you. “Mommy said you had to do everything I wanted!”Why was she being such a bitch? Your stepsister usually capped her annoying behavior at being a dumbass.“Is she here tonight?” Yuna shook her head in response so you laughed right in her face, “Then I don’t care. Leave me the fuck alone before I actually do what you’re afraid I’m doing.”It’s not like you were planning on making out with the prince in front of the whole party, but now the image was planted in her brain and she couldn't avoid it. Tears started beading in her eyes as she raced to the bar to drink and forget.What the fuck.That was, like, the shittiest interaction at the worst possible time, just when you were about to—A heavy arm draped against your shoulders and you were pulled into Lady Eunbi’s side as she shouted, “You’re forgiven! It’s like Csdjfsdmla!”The end of her sentence turned into a mishmash of unintelligible syllables.“What?!” you shouted back.“You’re exactly like Cinderella! You have an evil stepfamily and the prince likes you instead!”Uh. Well.When you couldn’t make words come out, Nayeon bellowed loudly enough to be a distraction, “Come on, let’s do a shot just the three of us! We’re squashing the beef here.”“No, listennnnn!” Lady Eunbi’s embrace tightened around you as she whined her point, “When his royal highness and I hooked up, he kept saying he was trying to forget someone else.”Out of instinct, your eyes swept the room to find Jaehyun standing alone in the corner, nearly hidden in the shadows because of his dark outfit. And even though you couldn’t see the direction of his gaze from this far… it was easy to figure out where he kept looking.Then you denied what she was implying, “That didn’t mean it was me.”Your heart was racing, though. Like, in a fuck you up kind of way.Nayeon’s voice got all funny and quiet, “You guys hooked up?”Lady Eunbi waved it off, not giving a single fuck that Nayeon was weirded out, and started giggling, “It was kinda bad, we stopped like halfway through, hahahaha. Def a one-time thing.”“Not if you get married, Eunbi.”“I’m not the one getting married, Nayeon.”Then the good lady drunkenly gestured your way after she said it.A drop of giddy surprise had barely marinated in your brain before complete, blanket panic took over. What kind of game were you playing here? You had a goal, remember? A huge finish line you were working towards and could not stumble away from. This was getting dangerously close to the most epic self-sabotage possible.You had to shut it down.“Let’s get something completely clear here, though I’m pretty sure your drunk ass isn’t going to do me favors. I’ve never hooked up with the prince or done anything with him, period. I haven’t even hugged him. I have someone I’m with and I’m not interested.”True, true, true, true. All technically true.“Then why do you keep looking at him?” Lady Eunbi asked.You realized you were only listening to her words and not participating in the conversation since you were staring elsewhere again - surprised yet not that Jaehyun hadn’t approached a single other woman who was at the party. Like he’d been left adrift when your conversation was interrupted and he was waiting for you to come back.“Because…….” He saved you from honesty in the nick of time, the true princely hero he was. “He’s using an antique vase as a beer funnel and no one’s stopping him.”He smiled proudly the entire time he poured his glass inside the blue and white porcelain, before he drank from it, the fearless discoverer of the colonial jungle juice container.It was… cute………………………………………………………..Nayeon’s drunken lizard brain finally kicked to do the last bit of rescuing, “Oh my god, antique beer bong. We have to do it.”She manhandled Lady Eunbi away to try her genius idea and as soon as their backs were turned, you snuck out onto the ballroom balcony. The subdued party noise had swelled to the point where you were overwhelmed and for someone party-hardened like you, that wasn’t an easy feat.You couldn’t properly process what Lady Eunbi said. She was an unreliable narrator, she had to be, no? Poisoned by her own motives to say whatever she wanted to throw you off your game? And you were just going along with this pressing need to flirt 'cause you were technically single and used to getting hit on by guys at clubs?Or was there something more behind it?There couldn’t be more. You didn’t like him like that and that was not what this was. That really wasn’t what this was…Like the palace doors had been made out of impenetrable metal instead of nicely carved wood, they kept out every bit of rowdy noise from inside. It was quiet out on the balcony, the sleepy birds rustling in the trees felt deafening and the sky was so dark and clear you could see the stars freckled across it. You barely passed that astronomy class, let alone remembered any of the constellations… but the stars you could see were dipped into a crescent shape. Like they’d decided to smile at you, shaped under the hands of heaven.“Are you not having a pleasant time?”Jaehyun was there and you were fucked.Because his eyes were immediately caught by the same stars yours were. Watching his enthralled little face glow under the galaxy was something you weren’t ready for.You had to not care. Had to. “This party’s fucking lame. If you’re not blacking out, getting hit on, or having your eardrums blasted out by the speakers, then it doesn’t really count.”He stared at you like you’d just spoke in another language other than English... yet even that was so totally unnerving the goosebumps snaked everywhere under your dress.“Never mind. It’s just not the same as being at home,” you murmured.You leaned over the balcony as you glanced back up at the stars, so different than being in Williamsburg where you could never see any, since your pantry room didn’t have a window. Or in VBeach, where they were ruled by the sea and never quite as beautiful.“Which location do you consider to be your ‘home’?”“I live in Williamsburg, you know this.”Kinda weird to get into a nitpicky conversation after the vibe of the night, no?Jaehyun walked out to meet you at the balcony and was thoughtful with his response, “But residing in and being from a place is different, no? I reside here in the province of Arlington, yet I consider myself to be from the state of Delaware.”It sent you straight back to your dad’s first ever William & Mary lecture. He told his students he lived in Williamsburg with you but joked there was no chance in h-e-l-l he’d ever claim that he was from there.“I’m from a place called Virginia Beach,” you admitted to him, for the very first time.A nothingburger and a crushing confession all at once, you weren’t sure if you wanted to pass out and tumble over the balcony or stay here and soak it in with him.“Whatever was it like?” Jaehyun asked, before his dimples pressed in with true goofiness. “I must confess, I have not traveled much recently.”You burst out laughing even though it wasn’t that funny. Or maybe it was, your brain seemed to have forgotten how to act fucking normal.Your fingers traced the outline of the roof on your right forearm, what protected your old VBeach house, and softly recollected, “It was different than any kind of life that I ever imagined for myself. Very quiet, very… me.”For the longest time, you’d been this kind of reckless, loud, boisterous girl, and even when you were in your goth-punk phase you leaned more on the side of screamo than emo. But there was a not-so alternate universe where you were a shy girl who loved glittery makeup and princess Barbie and held her dad’s hand anywhere she went.“I liked living there a lot, it was just me and my dad. Just us. Part of me wishes I never left. But he always wanted to be a history professor. It was his dream, so how could I be mad that we moved?”And how could you judge yourself for escaping back there as soon as he was gone?A surprisingly light breath escaped from your lungs, but when you glanced over at Jaehyun, his chest was rising and falling with considerable emotion as he stared at you. The sleepless birds, the unfulfilled partygoers, the attention-catching stars, it was like none of it existed, lost in your sudden desire to know what this place felt like when he lived in it with parents who loved him.A glittery star of emotion sparkled in Jaehyun’s eye as he leaned in to kiss you.Your arm almost snapped off your body with the pressure it took to stop him. “Wait, what? What are you doing? You can’t just do that without saying something.”This…. This... this was just a sentimental heart to heart, this wasn’t… what the fuck was happening.Having realized his mistake, Jaehyun straightened himself up into perfect posture and his deep voice dripped with crushed velvet desire, “I very much wish to kiss you.”“Okay,” you whispered.And he leaned in to do exactly that.“That didn’t mean okay, okay.” You ducked away again and your uneducated brain was whirling at maximum speed to not just give in like a loser with a crush. “What if I slip into a three-hundred-year coma after we kiss?!”It was a very valid question! You didn’t exactly read the terms and conditions for this curse thingy!His smile deepened with the same fond energy that always consumed him when he was around you. “I do not believe that is how this exchange would conclude.”“I don’t understand.” It was hard for you to process someone wanting you this much, but the alternative didn’t make sense either!“I do not either," he echoed quietly.Then you just kissed, there was nothing else left to do.The feeling of his lips against yours lasted for a second before he stopped. He didn’t even pull away completely, just enough to mutedly whisper against your mouth, “Do not concern yourself with what I have just said. I understand. You are the most alluring woman I have ever had the luck to come across in the centuries I have been breathing.”You had no words left in your brain.He dotted his nose against yours in a beckoning little gesture and you could hear his giddiness, “Now is the instance in which you extend a compliment to me in return.”How could you……….. how could you even come close to whatever that was?! You didn’t finish high school!!!!!!!!!!“You’re hot,” you giggled softly.He raced to kiss you in the middle of your laughter, like he would be cursed again for every second he waited, like he had to taste your surprised happiness for himself. And it was no surprise at all that he kissed with this much skill - his soft lips brushed against yours in a design to sweep you off your feet, before he let the outline of his tongue drag across your mouth without doing anything bolder, knowing it would tempt you into cracking.And you cracked so fucking hard.You sealed your open mouth against his and your exhales caught in a fleeting, eager clash, before your tongue slipped past his lips and dared to lick boldly against his. You pulled away on purpose and he dove to chase you, the tip of his tongue slicking into yours before he crushed his mouth back in with the intent of spoiling your escape. His hands slid against the bare curve of your back as he held you and feeling his fingertips trace the outline of your tattoo toed the line between insanely lusty and intoxicatingly sweet.His lips slid off yours with the cocky purpose of ensuring you never forgot that, then he exhaled, “There. That is all.”Your shaky hand lifted to cover your mouth and hold that feeling in. “That’s all?”He stopped after a couple kisses? The historical fuckboy had self control? You could not believe that.Jaehyun nodded and the subtle glow of his pride was the biggest fucking temptation. “That is all. I have told you once before that I only ever oblige to the lady’s request—”You draped your arms around his neck and kissed him hard before he was finished bragging. You were rewarded with the thrilling coolness of the marble balcony against your back as he pressed you into it. You arched back out of instinct and he followed you as you went, his body molding into yours, one hand firm on your waist to protect you, but his wild mouth doing everything possible to make you lose control.He wanted the other hand free do his crazy bidding, to trace up the curve of your body and stop to flit against your fingers, to dip against your throat and feel how your breathing caught when his teeth snagged the swell of your bottom lip. His grasp around your throat sunk into delicious pressure when you surprised him by sneaking your hands in his soft hair and tugging, then he traced a lazy, tension-filled arc against your lips with his tongue.Your touch meandered down the strength of his back, the lace was a flimsy barrier between your hands and his muscles and you held him as tightly as you could. Not because you lacked trust in him holding you up but because you couldn’t get enough of the desperate flex as he struggled to get even closer to you than he already was. The hard lines of his body softened into yours, your existences aware they had to make room for both of you, then his ankle twisted around yours so you were even locked together there.He moved to cradle your face as your kisses deepened. If your brain was empty before, it was now filled with thoughts of only him. Where else on your body he’d kiss if he could tear himself away from your mouth. If his tongue licking by the corner of your lips was a prelude of what was to come. If those hands felt as big and warm everywhere as they did while you helped them slide down to your scrunched-up hem and lift up your skirt—The second you felt his fingertips press into the apex of your thigh, you changed course and gasped, "Wait, that’s enough,” through spluttering breaths.You had to step away and cling onto the railing for dear life.It's not like you wanted him to stop, but he had to.He ran his hands through his disheveled hair, then the first true instance of profanity you’d ever heard from him ricocheted through his body, “Goddamn.”His dark eyes dripped his intentions all over your skin before he glanced away into the dark night.If he looked at you again like that, if he said that word again, if you stared at his sparkly mouth for one more second, you were going to fuck him right here. Not feel like you wanted to, not think about doing it, you were going to.Your dress was barely holding on to where you’d taped it and you quickly hurried to cover as much of your body as you could with fabric that did you no favors. He stared hard at the trees behind you, unable to watch what you were doing in case you both gave in again. When you’d gotten your breathing to a semi-normal state, you foolishly whispered, “I’m going to go in and celebrate with Lady Eunbi. Have a good night,” and snuck past him back through the double doors.It should’ve been impossible to have jellified sex legs off a measly makeout session, but one step back into the party and you were swooning about like you were a glorified virgin who had never kissed a man before. Getting back to where the girls were gathered at the bar felt like the damn Olympics.You almost fell over when you got there and Yuna immediately grabbed your arm, worried… not about you, “Is the prince leaving?!”There was zero chance you were turning around to see him running away.“Who cares!” Bless Lady Eunbi’s drunkenness for coming to your aid. “It’s my birthday, let’s do shooooottsssssssss!!!”Yuna wouldn’t let it go, “I’m going to go see if he’s alright—”You grabbed her arm before she could take a step away and held on for dear life. She was a dumbass but you were prettttttyyyyyy sure she would be able to tell he was just ferociously kissing someone who had sparkly gold lip gloss on… it wouldn’t be long before a giant red X marked the spot you were standing above.“No! I wanted to do a sister shot with you!” That sounded fucking unbelievable even to your own ears, so you started tacking on more bullshit, “With all of us! A unique circumstance brought us together to celebrate Eunbi and we should commemorate that! Yeah, I love it here!”You were in big fucking trouble.Because you still felt like you needed about ten of those… yikes!… blowjob shots in order to even approach the level of drunk vibes that usually fueled a makeout like that.Lady Eunbi was feeling gooooooood despite Yuna’s sour attitude, she threw her hands up in the air and cheered, “Cheers to me first, always! But I guess to you ladies as well!”You cleanly did the blowjob and a ribbon of heat curled down the pathways on your spine he marked out... only to settle right between your legs.“Wow, Blue, that was so nice!” Nayeon sarcastically poked at you before she leaned in and whispered for only you to hear, “P.S. Your lipgloss is messy as fuck.”Your fingers darted to the spot on your lips she was staring at and you could feel the stickiness well past the outline of where it was supposed to be.Fuck.“I was wiping my face trying to get the shot off,” you lied.She rolled her eyes, knowing full well that you’d never done a sloppy shot before. More than that, you wouldn’t’ve…. had an entire circumference of nude sparkles lined around your whole mouth just from doing a measly little shot. You would’ve only had a tiny smudge on your cupid’s bow like she did.“Riiiiiiiight. Try not to look too sus.”Nayeon sent you a knowing glance as you reached for another shot and downed it, then wiped off the lipgloss that Jaehyun's kisses had completely messed up.No evidence, no crime. — Nayeon rolled over on the pillow and your head spun with the reciprocal action.His face was painted over the white ceiling, drawn into the tattoo-less palms of your hands, burned into your eyelids every time you tried to get sleep.“I have to tell you something.”  When you only heard sdfjdjfsdjfsjdfs, Nayeon’s drowsy noise in response, you just said it, “I kissed the prince last night.”“I missed you too,” she muttered.What the hell. Why did you do that. You weren’t even drunk.And you didn’t just kiss him. You passionately made out several times, he groped you in a… pretty respectful way, and you were so fucking close to letting him do more. You don’t know what the hell kind of survival instinct kicked in to stop you because, yet again, you weren’t that drunk. You remembered every exact, explicit thought you had about wanting to fuck him.Nayeon groaned despite you not saying anything, “Ughhhhh. Don’t talk so loud.”She peeked up from where she was buried in the bed and poor girl had definitely seen better mornings, lol.You wiped at her raccoon eyes and laughed softly, “If I’m Cinderella, you’re Hungover Beauty.”Probably shouldn’t’ve made that reference, because all of a sudden, your best friend was wide awake. “Why were you telling me in my dream that you kissed someone? Don’t deny it, I remember you had smudged lipgloss.”All you could do was answer, “I was committed to the sloppy drunk girl bit,” which was your way of saying yes and also implying it was someone off-limits.Nayeon interpreted the shorthand and didn’t ask any incriminating follow-ups, but instead implicated herself in the same crime, “I also kissed someone I shouldn’t’ve.”Well, fuck.“Oh. Are we… telling Hong?”“No.”Here was the pinnacle of your best friendship: just two girls who’d kissed people they shouldn’t, lying hungover in bed and figuring out if that was going to remain a secret forever.Nayeon didn’t seem as bothered about it as you were, though. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and chuckled when the sparse memories hit her, “Dude, we gave those girls the best night of their life.”You were going to take her word for it since you lost track of everything that happened after you returned from The Event That Would Not Be Named. Shots were downed and tables were danced on and you remember lugging Lady Eunbi back to bed as she whined for Nayeon to go with her instead. For some reason, she couldn't accept that Nayeon had already fallen asleep in your bed and you were the only one sober enough to escort her. Weird.“You know, I kinda felt bad, though. It was like they all finally realized that only one of them is going to end up with him,” she finished.Swirling thrill and heavy nausea collided in the center of your throat, where you could still feel his hands on you. “Yep.”And it wasn’t supposed to be you, so why on earth did you kiss him—“Did you kiss Mark?” When you glanced over at her like What the fuck?, she laid out the evidence for you plead guilty or innocent to, “You implied it was someone you shouldn’t’ve. After you said you were going to kiss everyone in the palace. After his eyes almost popped out when he saw you.”Wrong person, so wrong.You turned it around on her, “Who did you kiss? Lady Eunbi or something?”“N-no,” she stuttered, before she turned over and collapsed into the pillows again.You were both almost thirty years old. AKA waaaaaaaaaaaay too old to be doing this.“That’s right. Don’t ask questions you can’t answer.” You made a sneery face at her turned back before running your fingers through her hair to fix it and asking, “Are we gonna hair of the dog it?”Her happy giggle made the morning feel a tiny bit better. “Just a little. And a croissant, please!”When you got up to get her the splash of alcohol necessary to survive her hangover, you felt physically fine and couldn’t claim you had one of your own. It was only an emotional hangover that was banging around in your head. It was confirmed when you ran into Jessica and Yuna in the hallway with their cups of coffee and you realized you didn't need that at all. You needed something else.Unsure what, though.“Good morning!” That was a bit too chipper for you, but you’d basically forgotten how to act, so…… why couldn’t you be nice to them in the morning? Lol.Jessica was nawwtttt having a good morning based on her designer eye bags. “Why did you let my daughter drink this much?”Yuna looked worse than her mom did, pretty much the first time you’d ever seen her that fucked up - the extensions falling out, her eyelashes all bent, a big smear of mascara on her cheek they hadn’t wiped off were all telltale signs of a banger party that her mother spent the whole night medicating.“Oh. Um. Wasn’t my party?” you answered.Her eyes narrowed at you even though the whole palace knew it’d been Lady Eunbi’s birthday. “This has your fingerprints all over it, it’s the exact kind of immoral activity that you waste your time with when you’re away from Williamsburg.”“And you were being such a bitch last night!”Your nerves sparked to life when Yuna got caught up in another profane tantrum and Jessica didn’t bother to scold her for it. And it kinda felt like you were walking to your death when you poked for an answer, “What are you talking about?”She pressed her cooling eye mask into her face and whined at you, “You spent all night with the other girls and not with me! And Prince Jae didn’t even look at me once!”Your throat closed up a little when you thought of what he was doing instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!On cue, Jessica started up the threats again, “You will go to the prince right this instant and make amends for this lost opportunity—”“Lady Chancellor, you’re urgently needed in your room by Chancellor Mark!” A guard’s voice called for you from down the hallway in the nick of time, then you caught a glimpse of someone waving their arms.“Sorry. Duty calls.” You shot them an apologetic look and scurried away before you could get into more trouble.There was a different kind of trouble waiting for you, you heard rumors VIPs from Canada were invited to the fundraiser ball at the end of the week, and you were not ready to deal with diplomatic shit. Not when you had your own problems. But when you got to the end of the hallway, there was no guard in sight or an envoy from your neighbors - it was only Solar, with your robe and a funny little look on her face.She leaned in and whispered, “There is no urgent matter.”That was some jokey shit Nayeon would always pull when you didn’t want to finish a shift at the club. She’d say she needed your help working on a case and you’d just leave to party at home instead.Your stress dissipated as you smiled at her and put on the robe, happy to be on the same wavelength. “Thanks for the save. Where is everyone else?”“With a head ailment in their beds, I presume. You shared a kiss with his royal highness yesterday evening?”The sensory blackout was extreme and all-consuming.Before you could deny it, her cold hands shook your arm around in excitement and she beamed through her words, “That is good, very good. Will you kiss him again at the ball?”You weren’t sure if you were going to make it to the ball. You weren’t sure if you were going to survive another five minutes without kissing him again…“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you pretended to be dumb as fuck and tried to escape. “I’m just trying to get a snack for Nayeon, she’s really hungover like everyone else.”“I would avoid the main kitchen in an effort to complete your task, then.” Solar shot you this secret, saucy look, like you’d end up behaving inappropriately if you were to stumble upon a random, nameless person who’d be in the main kitchen at the same time.No way were you going there.“Thanks," you mumbled and walked away.That was so weird.You covered it well enough that not even your best friend figured it out, but Solar knew what exactly had went down like she’d been an invisible ghost on the balcony and watched it all herself. And what the fuck was up with the weird encouragement to do it again?One step into the spare kitchen and you almost fell on the floor, because there Jaehyun was, sitting primly on one of the island barstools. He had a hand gently resting against Mark’s head where the other man had passed out on the counter and his eyes were locked onto his wooden bowl of corn porridge.Fuck?! Why did Solar do that! Now you had to escape before he saw you—“Lady Blueberry.”He saw you.Jaehyun stood up in surprise and for a second, all you could see was the goofy cotton nightgown you didn’t realize he used as pajamas. Then the rest of it materialized, his (thankfully) clean mouth only stained with blueberry juice, his tired yet lively eyes, the hair above his temples twisted out like a crazy, curly wig, probably from a weird angle he’d slept at. And you still thought he was so goddamn cute.“Your highness, sorry to bother you,” you whispered, half trying not to wake up Mark, half due to your failing vocal cords. “I got lost trying to find the main kitchen ‘cause I have this headache. Seeya, have a good morning...”“Wait.”Oh, this was bad. This was really, really bad.You backed into the doorframe and it conjured up the delectable memory of the balcony digging into your back as he bent you over it. The subtle flash in his eyes when he caught your reaction made it look like he remembered, too.He opened his mouth and you fucked yourself by blurting first, “We just kissed, it didn’t mean anything deep.”“It… did not?”“I can’t even count many people I’ve kissed without talking to again, without even seeing again, to be honest.”What you could do, however, was count the number of people you kissed who… plagued you like a weird disease and made it so all you could think about kissing them again in hopes that would be the cure for your sickness.And that tally was at one.Every feature of his flinched at your casual denial and Jaehyun quietly responded, “I do not understand.”“You know what drunk means, right? We had a lot of alcohol.” It was stretching the truth, but hopefully he would be smart enough to get that those things wouldn’t’ve happened if you hadn't drank.Jaehyun nodded yet stabbed you with a subtle counterattack, “I possessed the desire to kiss you regardless of my mental state.” Okay. Okay, okay, you did not expect that. This bled into him being sober? “Do you not possess the same sentiment in return?”No,” you whispered automatically.What were you supposed to do?! Tell the truth?!But he didn’t take it as another rejection, he clearly took it as a challenge, “For a woman that partakes in speaking quite loudly at any given moment, that was nigh inaudible.”That was always your tell. You hated that Jaehyun figuring it out made you like him more.“No, I don’t possess it,” you snapped to prove your point - petty and loud, but not loud enough to wake a still-sleeping Mark.“Then we should be able to kiss without an emotional or physical consequence imparted on you.”He wanted you to prove that you didn’t like him by letting him kiss you? That was the most evil genius thing that anyone had ever thought of.You shrugged. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”His eyebrow shot up, enticed, and fuck. Fuck, fuck, what the fuck were you doing. You agreed?! You thought you weren’t going to make it to the ball without kissing him again, but you didn’t think it’d be ‘cause you were the one acting like a fool!Jaehyun walked over and swiftly tucked you behind the open door so that no one could see you besides him. You had to admit, despite the nightgown, he was just… so handsome and normal in the morning like this. The wrinkles of his pillow were still pressed into his cheek and after every few blinks his eyelids would lull into these sleepy half-crescents that made him look so innocent. You stood there with your arms crossed and begged yourself not to get pathetic schoolgirl-overwhelmed when you noticed he smelled like the very subtle, enticing undertones of Old Spice. Like they begged him not to use homemade soap and offered that instead, lol.He got so close his chest brushed against your forearms when he exhaled and he stared at you with these shiny eyes that you couldn’t resist.And when you didn’t crack the way he hoped, he pressed his mouth against yours softly.It was… so much better than your drunken makeout.You could feel everything clearly without the haze of the party and he was just… too good at making this simple brush of your lips feel incredible, like he’d electrified your skin to his frequency. His kissing skills were definitely transferrable between centuries, ugh.His disbelieving chuckle cascaded against your cheek at your lack of response, “No?”“Nope.”He went right for another kiss as soon as you denied him, strategizing another way - he moved impossibly slowly, lazy and languid and lovely as he made sure every part of your lips was marked in a trail of his obvious craving for you. His lips didn’t close around yours until he coaxed a whiny noise of resistance right out of you, then his tongue teased across the folded tight line of your lips… a mind-numbing sensation worse than the actual kiss itself.You were going to crumble like a fucking stale-ass cookie if you didn’t get your head in the fucking game. You’d never kissed anyone like this and you just told him yourself you’d kissed a lot of people.“If you hold the desire to... Yield. Now,” Jaehyun murmured. “That is an order.”You weren’t going to lose, you hadn’t ever been a loser in your life.Your body was fighting hard, but all it wanted to do was feel the smothering warmth of his hands on your waist again. Not just your waist, everywhere he didn’t dare touch without permission last night…. though you would’ve (and still would!) given it all to him.You lost.You kissed him back the tiniest bit, chased his lips just enough that he’d feel it yet you could play dumb if he questioned you - that little kiss had no business being so fucking enjoyable - then you slipped away from him.Mark had slept through it all. What a cute moron.Pulling a pastry bag out of the cabinets like you came here to do and fishing out the pair you wanted, you had to pretend to ignore Jaehyun staring at the slip of your shoulder that appeared when your robe tie came undone. Then you hid everything you were feeling under your flirty little, “I just came here to steal croissants.”His right dimple poked to an impossible depth and he conceded the fight, “I suppose I have garnered the incorrect impression of your intentions.”But you could see it in Jaehyun’s face that he knew exactly what you were doing.You were so fucked.You were fucked, fucked, fucked and couldn’t even say you were still drunk enough to be making these bad decisions… because you were never drunk in the first place.Which meant that sober you................................................. liked him. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Why was Yuna sitting like that.With her legs so close to Jaehyun’s that their knees brushed every time—No. That was fine. That was good, that was how it was supposed to be.Lady Eunbi’s amused voice suddenly floated into your ear, “Are you trying to soften your pancakes?”You stopped…. stabbing them with your knife. Lol.“Why are you here?” Last time you checked, you were sitting alone at a secluded table, so you were surprised to see her there with a tiny bowl of yogurt and staring at your pancakes like she was starving. “I didn’t want to listen to the girls gossip about the Canadian VIPs and I also didn’t want to take my turn talking to the prince," she answered. "So Nayeon is doing it for me.”Nayeon, on the other side of Jaehyun’s seat you hadn't yet looked at, was who he was actually talking to - and about something random based on the silly facial expressions she was making. You knew it was her stalling because Yuna looked pissed off she had to wait for their conversation to finish.You let out a frustrated sigh and tried to dig for Lady Eunbi’s motivations, “Does that have to do with what we talked about…?”Not specifying with at the party or in my room was to bait out which of your secrets she might blab.Her foot nudged yours under the table and she sighed, “I just didn’t feel like it today.”Well, that was fucking unhelpful.“Eat a pancake, then. I softened it for you. Happy birthday.” You plopped one onto her bowl and hoped that would cheer her up. It was weird for Lady Eunbi to be this quiet, you almost preferred when she was loudly arguing...“My parents didn’t wish me a happy birthday. They found pictures of the party and spent half an hour screaming at me instead," she whispered out of nowhere.Oh, damn.She was staring at the pancake again, unable to look anywhere else, and it was because she was going to cry if she did. Suddenly, so much about her made sense.“That fucking blows. Are you telling me this ‘cause you know I’ll empathize now?”“I just need to tell someone.”Nayeon was much better at this sappy shit than you were, which made their sudden, fast friendship more understandable. But you were the one Lady Eunbi had chosen to unload on, so you quickly had to say something nice, “Unless you need them and their gigantic piles of money or whatever? Fuck ‘em. You keep telling us you went to Harvard three times and decided to model just ‘cause you wanted to.  Where the fuck is that attitude—”
[10:14 am] bluebizzle: Yo.
Hongseok’s mongrel face flashed on your phone screen as it lit up with a text… from you?“Ugh, what the hell is that,” you groaned in disgust at the background picture of him asleep on your couch. Did Nayeon grab the wrong phone this morning?Lady Eunbi asked a curious question then, “Oh, um. They’re still together?”“What do you mean, still?” You let out a bitter laugh at her obvious disappointment. Once again, girl, get in the hater line. “They’ve been together since they were nine and I think that man has to literally be killed for her to be single or ever go back to work again.”You could not be a big enough Hongsuck hater. If the Purge or whatever that movie was ever became real, he’d be first on your list for all the shit he’d done to Nayeon that you overlooked…“Well, I have to go.” Lady Eunbi stood up abruptly and peaced the fuck out.“What? Aw, I thought we moved past our enemies arc into our lovers arc!” As soon as you called after her with that cheeky little comment, she sped up… then ‘your’ phone went off again.
[10:21 am] bluebizzle: YO.
Why was she so angry? Lol.
[10:21 am] nananana BATMAN: yo u took my phone by accident dude[10:21 am] nananana BATMAN: ur texting me as me lol[10:22 am] bluebizzle: What?[10:22 am] nananana BATMAN: ????????[10:23 am] bluebizzle: Please lift your gaze.
Your eyes tangled in the flounce of Yuna’s ponytail as she chatted away, then you saw Jaehyun next to her, looking like every teenager ever trying to text beneath their desk without getting caught.You’d never responded to a message faster.
[10:25 am] nananana BATMAN: im sorry, u know how to text now?[10:27 am] bluebizzle: Shift yourself in the forward direction.
You glanced down and realized that the way you were slouched while responding in secret meant he had a pretty generous view down the front of your tank top.Was this…………… what you thought it was?
[10:30 am] nananana BATMAN: u first
He had no idea who the fuck he was going against.Jaehyun made direct eye contact with you after he read that message, then as Yuna tried to lean her head on his shoulder, he moved away - slow and on purpose, so you could see the expanse of his broad chest through the opening in his dress shirt. Two buttons, like he’d learned at the party.
[10:33 am] bluebizzle: Fulfill your end of the bargain.
You could hear his authority even through the text and you knew it was making you insane when you immediately did what he wanted. After playing around with the straps on your top to make the neckline slouchy, you leaned forward on the dining table to show as much cleavage as possible, to the point that your hidden flower tattoo started to peek through.When you were sure no one would give you a second glance, you went for the dirty maneuver. You took the fork off your plate and waited until he looked again, then slipped your tongue all over it, pretending like you were just finishing off the syrup. Jaehyun's lips parted and his eyes darkened into that familiar onyx, visible even from two tables away. He sat back in his seat and enjoyed the view, with his broad neck exposed like that—Yuna pulled him towards her and shattered the moment when she tried to give him a kiss on the cheek. Jaehyun dodged it the first time but didn’t quite do so well the second, and... An insane flare of heat crashed into the back of your neck when you could spot the pink lipstick mark on his smooth skin.You were furiously typing before you realized it.
[10:38 am] nananana BATMAN: are you going to think about me when you’re fucking her?
He read it and read it and read it - that was why you didn’t use abbreviations, because you wanted to be clear - and then he was typing, typing, typing…
[10:42 am] bluebizzle: I would much prefer the proper reality instead of utilizing my imagination.
Oh, wow. Wow.Did Jaehyun just beat you at your own game?????????????Should you just do it? Maybe this was sexual tension and nothing else; as soon as it was out of your system maybe you’d go back to acting like a normal person.Only one way to find out.
[10:44 am] nananana BATMAN: come to my room
Couldn’t take it back now that the message was out there in cyberspace.You deleted the thread and hurried out of there without a second look, just in case someone was lurking around and saw all. So you almost jumped out of your skin when you heard someone follow after you, “Um, I think Lady Eunbi re-bitchified. She didn’t say a word to me—”It was only Nayeon, not Solar the voyeur, thank god…. But you were still angry at her for a different reason, “Dude, you gave the prince my phone!”“OMG, the way he calls it a talking rectangle is so fucking funny.”“Na!”She stopped her evil giggling and shot you a dramatic little look to match her claims of innocence, “Chill, he asked to borrow mine and I didn’t realize! I thought he had to Google something, he’s not going to find your titty pics.”Not that it mattered, considering he had already… seen a majority of them.And he didn’t even know what Google was!You glared at her, the kind of guilt trippy glare reminder that you never got a new phone ‘cause that one still had your dad’s messages on it. Nayeon trembled a little when your lie hit her soft heart, then she whispered an apology, “Sorry, sorry, sorry. I’ll go get it right now.”As she raced to the front of the dining hall in search of your phone… You escaped into the hallway by yourself and took a deep breath that rattled from your chest down each bone in your spine. It was supposed to calm you down, but the sparks you’d lit on purpose were not dying out. All you could do at this point was get in that bed and see what happened—“Excusez-moi, savez-vous où je peux trouver le prince?”The sound of deep French caught your attention and you turned around to see that a hot guy had just watched every second of your mental breakdown. About three months ago you would’ve called him the hottest guy you’d ever seen before, but that just wasn’t true anymore. He was still really fucking hot - vaguely familiar (like you’d seen him in an ad or something), dirty blonde, golden amber eyes, as tall and broad as Jaehyun but without… any of the classiness. His leather jacket and ripped jeans were, unfortunately, your energy.He waited for you to respond, like you owed him an answer. And while you felt the vague urge to flirt, you decided to be an asshole instead, “I’m not going to tell you to stop speaking French, but if you want me to actually respond…”He shook his head. “Je ne parle pas anglais.”Well, there was nothing you could do for this man except stand there. “I guess I can just look at you. All you’re good for—”“All I’m good for?”Whoops.An absolutely devilish smile danced onto his face as he continued to speak in perfect English, “Don’t seem so surprised, I speak English. I went to Yale.”What was the point of all that, then? Dickhead.“So you went to Yale and you’re this biiiig guy, and you still felt the need to bait a woman into praising you?” Sheesh, your illusion of the polite upper class was finally shattered!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol.“Bait? That was plain flirting.” He was shameless, staring at your tattoos and chattering to his heart’s content, “You might be the most interesting young lady that I’ve met since being here.”If he was trying to get on your good side with that he definitely failed - because someone else had already used that line on you, used it better, and it had worked, so…“Am I supposed to tell someone you’re here or something?” This felt like an illegal interaction the more it went on, especially when you noticed just how fancy his diamond chain was.“You didn’t strike me as a rule follower. Interesting, again.”“Why would I care what your opinion of me is? You’re just some random guy I’ve never met before.”The more you weren’t falling for this, the more the outright lust started to seep out of him, ending in his shrug and nonchalant, “Every guy needs a wife.”“Then go back to France or wherever and look there,” you snapped. “Don’t poke around here for leftovers.”“No,” he said, before his eyelid fluttered in a wink that gave you heartburn.No? Did he seriously just say that to you?“Don’t be a fucking asshole, dude...”Nayeon came to save the day at the perfect moment, until she randomly froze in the middle of her sentence, “Dude, I snagged the phone, wanna—oh my god.” She was a goddamn criminal prosecutor lawyer, she had seen some shit and not a lot of things got to her in a big way. Which made it so bizarre that she was gawking at this asshole stranger and not bothering to hide it… or blush when he waved at her. Or trip over every word when she finally got her shit together,  “P-Prince Brian? Holy s-shit, you actually came?”“Shut up,” you gasped.She stuttered and stumbled like a fucking buffoon, “H-hi, I’m Nayeon. It is a huge honor to meet you. We’ve honestly always wanted to.”No wonder he seemed so familiar. There was a period of time as tween where you could never escape the Crown Prince of Canada. He signed a sponsorship deal with your favorite cereal brand, then became a Levi’s model right after, then was publicly caught on a date with your favorite singer at the time, Rosie Park. He was everywhere and every fucking person you knew loved him.“Your highness, you have arrived.”Fuck. No.Jaehyun had come out of the dining hall with Nayeon (maybe to meet you like you asked??????) and now he was… listening to the Canadian prince flirt with you.Prince Brian stood up straight from his slouchy, sleazy posture and his tone became so much more controlled, “Your highness, good morning. It probably always feels like a good morning, am I right?”He winked in your direction and you and Nayeon accidentally laughed at how stupid his joke was.Jaehyun’s stone-cold face and unappreciative response, “It is now in the afternoon,” made you bite your tongue so hard the pain lingered.Prince Brian wasn’t sure what to do or say after that and awkwardly amended, “I was making a joke because you just woke up…”While the two of them were doing this weird macho prince dance around each other, Nayeon nudged you in the ribs and whispered, “Don’t play dumb, you tried to steal my poster of him,” and raised her voice so they could both hear, “You know he’s like our era’s Prince William.”“Shut up!” you hissed when you felt Jaehyun’s stare drill into the side of your face.Okay, fine.Maybe you had a tiiiiiiiiiny crush on Prince Brian, because you liked how he never seemed like a prince and was just another guy your age. But so did every girl in your grade and you only stole that poster so you could sell it to one of them!You had no idea what the hell Nayeon’s agenda was when she threw an arm around your shoulders and started offering you up, “Lady Blue’s single. She’s single, she’s single. Definitely single!”You were going to need to hire her as your lawyer to defend your murder case after you killed her.Once Prince Brian heard that you were playing hard to get with him, he turned the jets on hard with Jaehyun, “Can’t wait for your ball. Looks like I might have to borrow one of your girls to bring as my date.”When the other man's head tilted your way, the shocked expression on Jaehyun’s face transformed into anger so fast that you knew you had to get out of there before he exploded. Or before you had the insane idea to entertain the Canadian prince just to make this prince feel like you did while watching him with Yuna.You stole your phone out of Nayeon’s pocket and replaced it with hers, then made the vaguest excuse possible, “I have something to do, see ya.”Prince Brian’s flirtation could’ve been felt all the way back in his home in Toronto, “Can’t say it was not nice to meet you. Au revoir.”You remembered what the tabloids said about how rebellious and cool Prince Brian was, or at least the young version of him. About three and a half weeks ago you would’ve fucked him just as soon as he stared at you with those silly golden eyes. And now your head was filled with the particular anger of a different prince—A hand snagged around your arm and a heated voice slipped into your ear, “I must warn you, the Crown Prince of Canada is betrothed. She was an addition to the list of ball attendees.”Why didn’t it surprise you that that sleazy loser had a girlfriend the whole time? And why was Jaehyun acting like you committed some great crime?Honestly, it pissed you off so much you started to fight him, “Figures. You should warn that girl, not me. Seems like your thing.”“You did not find him charming?”“Maybe I did. Why do you give a fuck?”You weren’t sure why Jaehyun being unable to answer that very simple question made you as mad as it did, but undiluted fury started egging you on into losing control. You walked into your room and tried to slam the door as hard as you could, only to hear his staggered grunt after catching the heavy weight of the wood.‘Whoa, what the hell are you doing?” You yelped as you watched Jaehyun push it open with all his strength, walk into your room with you, and lock the door behind him.“We must speak,” he demanded.“You don’t have to physically be in my room for that.” His eyebrows shot up, enough to tell you it was some kind of private thing, and you ended up letting out a frustrated sigh, “Whatever, just say it.”If he implied that you were acting slutty, you were going to kick his ass...“The Canadian prince, do you possess interest in his existence?”Wait.Was Jaehyun asking if you liked that loser? Could he seriously not tell?Anger now slipping away, you were caught by this strange feeling of inadequacy when you couldn’t find the words for your feelings, “He’s… a tool that uses his ability to speak French to make up for everything else he lacks.” Jaehyun was not satisfied since none of that had to do with you, so you fumbled for something else to say, “Yes, she was right, everyone our age had a crush on him. But princes aren’t my type.”Jaehyun’s usually lively face fell into a death-like stillness. “Pardon me?”“I…” You fucked up. “That’s not what I meant.” You really fucked up. “That’s not… Princes like that aren’t my type.”It took so much effort to admit to it, yet sayingit was so goddamn freeing. Your taste in men had tunneled towards a very specific niche: reformed douchebag princes who knew everything and also didn’t.Jaehyun took a step towards you and his rumble of dissatisfaction shook the ground you were standing on, “Substantiate your claim.”You had no idea you could move as fast as you did then, crossing the room in two steps just to meld your mouth to his. He tasted like sticky syrup and berry-laced envy and you didn’t know why the hell you’d kept yourself from kissing him every second of the day. He staggered in surprise when your kiss didn’t register in his brain, but he sunk into it easily after that, poured onto you so every spot on your body was lined with him.Your hair flew wildly around your face as he crushed his lips into yours, like he was burning the feeling into his brain. It was deliciously painful, you gasped for more when he stopped to take a breath, but he interpreted it differently.His lips ghosted the outline of his question across yours, “Do you wish for me to cease what I am doing?”“No,” you whined and slipped forward to try and steal another kiss.Jaehyun held your face, his fingers half-crushed into your ear to feel the sigil pin-earring. When you were nose to nose, unable to look anywhere else but in his beautiful eyes, he lowly growled, “Enunciate.”That stole the words right out of you, “No, please don’t stop.”You found yourself in his arms for a fleeting second as he perched you on the wooden footboard of your bed, spread your knees with one stroke of his strong leg, and stood right between them to kiss you again. You dragged up the hem of your shirt on purpose when you moved to hold his neck, so his fingers would touch your bare waist the next time he held you. His groan into your mouth when he came into contact with soft skin was unforgettably delicious and you needed to feel that again as fast as you possibly could. You hooked a leg around his waist to draw him in close and his groan slipped past his tongue into your mouth, spreading the goosebumps literally everywhere.He pulled far enough away that it was impossible to stretch for another kiss yet he lingered so closely that his exhales swept against your eyelashes. He blinked once, then again, savoring the image of you, before he buried his mouth in your neck and his words raced to mark your skin, “Marvelous. Just marvelous.”It was so easy to fall into the trap of feeling like the most gorgeous person in the world when Jaehyun was saying froo froo bullshit like that. Why did you like it? You were such a moron.He pulled down a strap of your tank top and your sigh followed the slick of his tongue against your moons tattoo, “Please don’t stop—”There was a knock on the door and you froze, unsure of who it could be, but he kept kissing you without stopping. His lips moved with more inappropriate pressure than you’d ever experienced as he traced the exposed length of your shoulder up to the splotch of sunset on the side of your neck.“My lady? It’s Prince Brian.”What in the absolute fuck.Jaehyun glanced back at the door and your eyes slammed closed with stress. The complete blackout of your senses felt good and you figured if you stayed silent, that loser outside would get the hint you weren’t there…“Answer,” Jaehyun ordered.Ooooookay then.“What is it—oh my fucking god.”He pulled your legs apart even further and before you knew it, he was kneeling before you while you were…............................... unconsciously pulling up the hem of your already-short skirt.Out of the corner of your eye, you could see your knuckles whited-out against the bed poster. Your heart was pounding at a frantic pace as your attention flicked between Jaehyun’s thumb stroking the inside of your thigh and the words coming through the door, “Wanna let me in so we can talk like normal people?”His fingers dragged up to your underwear and you could tell he couldn’t figure the flimsy lace straps out.... because he just moved them out of the way and made sure to drag his fingertips across every square inch of slick skin underneath. You knew then you’d never have the capacity to say no to him again.“No!” you desperately called, despite knowing the door was locked.You wobbled on the headboard and your hands twisted through his delicate, long hair, the most tantalizing anchor point you could focus on. His fingers traced an aimless path against you, not even daring to slip inside, and you wished then he’d just push you back on the bed and do whatever the fuck he wanted. This teasing wasn’t even close to enough.“You’re going to make me say it out loud? You must really get off on this. Care to stop by my room for dinner and a glass of the crown’s maple whiskey?”His fingers disappeared for an insane, empty second, only to be replaced by the hot, insistent press of his mouth between your legs. You were going to have a bruise on your lip from biting it to stay quiet, but you had to. You had to. Your skirt was bunched all the way around your hips, giving you the perfect view of his elegant head and neck swept over to settle in that secluded space.“Or are you just a skip the wine and dine, go right to sixty-nine kind of girl? That’s what your friend said.”There was no way Jaehyun knew what that meant.But like his intelligent instinct set the red flags flying, his tongue swiped up and down against every bit of skin you’d exposed to him with such cocky confidence. He was determined to make your mind forget every answer that didn't revolve around him.You struggled forming your next breath, let alone the shaky as hell words, “What makes you think I want any of that?”He was marking you with his lips as if he was kissing your mouth, tantalizing little blooms everywhere that made you squirm harder than you ever had before. One silky line traced upwards with his tongue ended with the lingering outline of pressure against a spot that made every part of your body want to copy paste the feeling. Then he took his goddamn sweet time with his goddamn little licks tracing the goddamn path back in reverse.His strong hands held your legs apart so he had you exactly where he wanted, visual of his veins and muscles and stretch-out hands doing just the same amount of smitten damage as his mouth was…The prince on the other side of the door was an insistent motherfucker, “What makes you think I believe your denials?”The prince in the room with you made you lose your mind when his fingers let go of your leg to slip inside you. The combination of his rough, warm skin and the slick smoothness of his tongue was so fucking overwhelming you had no ability to do anything but enjoy it.“Answer,” Jaehyun ordered for a second time.The two syllables melted into your skin before his lips buried into that particular spot again and his fingers curled ever so slightly.“I-I’ll think about it,” you gasped, tiny, perfect spirals of white emptiness now looming in your vision.“Sounds good, bébé.”Thank god. That Canadian loser was a psycho—“I will think about it?” Jaehyun was not happy with your answer.He sat back on his heels and sent you straight into the void of no feeling and too much feeling at once. This wasn’t your fault! He needed to try coming up with an answer to a tough question with your lips wrapped around him before he could judge!When he was about to wipe the shiny slickness from his face, you braved letting go of the bedframe to pull him up so you could kiss him again, taste the strangeness of how much you wanted his stained against his lips.“Only way to…” You snagged the swell of his top lip with so much lovesick force that you could see the tiny purple bruise you left behind, before you wrapped both your legs around his waist and finished, “…get him to leave.”Then you moved your hips up to brush against his, finally free to do exactly what you wanted and feel his reciprocated desire even through the thick layer of his dress pants.Whatever knots of control Jaehyun had left immediately unraveled and he gathered up your ponytail and pulled. The tingling ache shot right into your brain and made the vision of his sudden, desperate eyes something you could never forget.He tried to say something and nothing came out, his dimples flared and the little bruise darkened when he wet his lips and hoarsely begged, “Please repeat that.”You held the back of his head so he had no choice but to kiss you, then you shifted your hips to fit tightly against his. His half-open mouth attempted to move in the kisses you wanted but you ended up in this tersely hot neutral zone, with the outline of your mouths caught up in each other’s. Once he realized what you were doing, he dropped his hips deep into yours and the seam in his trousers hit right where he’d moved your underwear aside. You could already tell it wasn’t going to take much more for you at at all, so you slipped one hand to his slim, strong waist and held him still so he could only move against the same spot every time.One of his hands desperately crushed into your bare back so that you were safe in his arms and he could do whatever he pleased. He moved himself past the crest of your legs at an incessant pace, that somehow almost felt calm with how steady and strong he was. It was exactly how he would’ve moved if you were in the middle of his bed without your clothes on, trying to replicate what it would be like to slip into you without this fabric holding him back.“Oh, do not cease what you are doing," he breathed with his eyes closed. "I cannot believe this. I cannot—”He slowly slid against the same path he traced with his tongue and you could feel the moment the pressure-bursting proximity broke him. His steadiness faltered and he bucked against you with wild, overwhelmed strength, coaxing out strongly vivid spirals of feeling from every spot on you he touched.“Fuck!" you gasped loudly. "Catch me!”The spirals melded into a cyclone that ripped through your body, which would’ve had you tumbling from the bed frame like that little freak egg who cracked the fuck open. But his hand wrapped around your forearm right on time, your roof tattoo disappeared under his palm as he did, and the sudden fear jolted you into extreme clarity.Enough for you to feel every thready pulse still shaking your body and making it almost impossible to hear Jaehyun's tiny, “Apologies.”You couldn’t even turn to see what he looked like.“I-it’s cool,” you whispered.He awkwardly laid you onto the bed and you ended up splayed in the sheets and trying to move your skirt to cover your exposed lower half. He managed to be brave enough to slink over and pull the fabric down for you, then stared at the bed canopy for a good long second while trying to control himself. You blinked the lust-stained veil away to see his long hair swept every which way at your doing, your kiss prints blazing across his mouth, and the darkened outline on the front of his pants.You’d hooked up with a lot of people a lot of times. But this was the first and only time you were left genuinely speechless, unsure of what to do beyond clutch the sheets and tremble.You had to do something, so you struggled to sit up and started to say, “You want me to—”“Good day.”He stalked out of there before you could even ask him if he wanted you to suck his dick in return.You collapsed back into the mattress, reeling through the effects of your abrupt peak and the immediate aftermath of wrestling it under control. These feelings never lingered around for this long, which meant what he did to you was absolutely crazy. Was the next coma he went into going to be six hundred years? Since he kissed you on more than just your mouth?Your fingers fluttered over the still-warm spot on your thigh where he pulled your skirt back down. And when you craned your stiff neck over to look in the mirror and see the goddamn mess you were in, you couldn’t help but acknowledge you never expected this. Not even the sexting over breakfast could've prepared you for it. That was really wild. That was fuck in the club bathroom 'cause we want each other so badly and can't wait to get home kind of wild.A phone went off, your phone went off, and you honestly were dreading what was waiting for you.
[11:35 am] nananana BATMAN: which prince is in there w u rn? ;)[11:36 am] nananana BATMAN: did u see how pissed his royal sleepiness was when le chef Nayeon stirred the pot?[11:36 am] nananana BATMAN: he’ll probably do smth about it, ur welcome.[11:37 am] nananana BATMAN: and tho im on sabbatical i am legally obliged to ensure u know i did this bc…[11:37 am] nananana BATMAN: even if u won’t admit u like him, u should def ~have relations~ at least once
Well… you were kinda halfway there, so. Fuck.—You hadn’t worn a long skirt since you were trying on dresses for your sixteenth birthday, but here you were in one - nothing ridiculous, just a slip of purple silk with some lace at the bottom. Solar had taken the rest of your skirts away for laundry day before the ball and… you couldn’t handle Jaehyun looking at your bare legs in something short.Which was big, big, biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig problem.Your fellow ladies all looked over the second you started walking towards them and for a second it felt like you had a secret target on your chest. But when they glanced down, you realized you were just a walking noise hazard with how loudly the skirt swished every time you took a step. It was something you weren’t used to.The fake customer service smile actually hurt your mouth as you wondered, “Have you all seen Nayeon?”Lady Dawon shook her head. “No, I haven’t seen Lady Eunbi either.”Sure, it was weird that both Nayeon and Lady Eunbi were missing from the last dance practice before the ball. But you were more stressed out trying to uncover which of these girls suspected something had happened… which they wouldn’t be able to (since it was private!!!!!!), which meant you were officially a lunatic. Then the real reason for the weirdness hit you: they were hanging out with each other out of their own volition.You just had to ask, “Why are we not talking with the princes?”A piece of fresh Canadian meat was dangled over these starving women’s heads and none of them were trying to bite?“I’m kinda over all the princes,” Lady Solbin blurted, before she made a lame attempt at covering her flub up, “I mean, I’m still in this! Prince Jaehyun, yeah!”“He tried to speak French to impress us, I speak French already,” Lady Dawon sneered in Prince Brian’s direction, where he was… eyeing one of the maids. “Is this like us getting all sad when Prince William went bald?”Then the group looked at Jaehyun and someone joked, “That man is never going bald or getting ugly. Good strategy for getting us back in the game, Lady Blue.”They’d caught him in a moment where he was running his fingers through his gorgeous hair just to get it to cooperate and you had to say, they had a point. But he looked equal parts beautiful and exhausted - like he didn’t sleep once last night. You could tell due to the prominent dark eyebags stained into his cheeks, now visible because he was..... staring right at you.Lady Solbin noticed what he was doing, but the context was missing for her. “Any of you say something weird to him? He keeps looking over here and looking away. And he seems tired.”Did please don’t stop count?“Everyone looks tired,” you muttered. “We all need a vacation.”As soon as you were free to, you were going to scurry back to VBeach and bury your head in the sand like a seagull. Then you'd hope that ocean would sweep you away and leave behind the ignorant little bimbo you were when you came here.“Yeah, when is this thing even going to end?”“I heard Chancellor Mark complaining to someone on the phone—” Your nerves roared when Lady Dawon struck up the chatty gossiping, “That the prince is nowhere near close to making his decision.”The anxious flash feeling transformed into a prominent ache at the back of your head. You’d been so wrapped up in…everything… that you’d conveniently ignored how Jaehyun was trying his hardest to find a wife that couldn’t be you.Lady Solbin shrugged like she couldn’t give less of a fuck about Jaehyun’s indecision. “I guess the ball will tell us.”“The ball will tell you what, ladies?”Prince Brian had snuck over to eavesdrop on the conversation, confused as to why the hot girls were talking with each other and not with him. You were surprised that none of them - especially Lady Dawon and her moony eyes for Johnny - were fazed by his almost completely unbuttoned shirt or the worn leather jacket. And when they didn’t bite, he turned on the charm, “Who’s learned to waltz the best? I don’t see a lot of dancing over here, maybe I could help with that.”“Maybe wait for your future wife instead,” Lady Dawon snapped at him.Ah, so they’d also heard the gossip through the grapevine that Prince Brian was betrothed. You found yourself oddly proud of them for having morals and not stooping to the sleazy prince just because they wanted to claim the title of princess.Lady Solbin put an arm around the other woman and went in on the roast, “Jokes on you, I learned to waltz at cotillion.”“No way, you did that?! Loser,” Lady Dawon giggled, not caring at all about the prince and just wanting to kiki with her friend instead.“I’d preferred bachata. I can show you!”“I know how to tap dance, Da, let me show you that, too!”"OMG, yes! No boys allowed!"As the girls joked with each other like they were actually close, before escaping arm-in-arm to try different dance styles together, Prince Brian took that moment to pull you aside… which must’ve been his endgame in the first place. Your annoyance flared as he made a big show of bowing in front of you and using his most formal tone, “May I have the honor of this practice dance?”“You’re a regular dude who went to Yale. Drop the prince bullshit,” you snapped.And he did, so fast and so easy you did not get a good vibe from any of this. He gave up on his attempt to dance with you and instead got so close your nostrils stung with the burn of his cologne. He gave you a pointed look, then he wondered quietly, “You didn’t come to my room last night. Can’t say I’m not disappointed.”Huh. You wondered if Prince Brian wanted to know that you weren’t able to bring yourself out of bed at dinnertime because.... you were still sore and woozy from the other prince showcasing every skill he perfected in his historical fuckboy past.This loser wasn’t going to get an apology out of you, so you just shrugged and said, “Never said I wasn’t a disappointing person.”“Busy?”“Yes. With my boyfriend.” You said it without hesitating, knowing the stories about Johnny that floated around the palace would back you up. You sealed the deal with a casual flick of your eyebrows to say, I have no reason to lie to you, even though you didn’t give a fuck about lying to this guy.Prince Brian changed the subject instead, “You ever listen to Nelly Furtado? The esteemed songstress from the country I rule?”What the actual fuck? Was this man calling you a Promiscuous Girl? Based on what, exactly?????????????????He read the anger on your face and held up a flirty little hand to clear himself of the charges. “Don’t misinterpret me, I’m not saying it with a tone of judgement.”“So… you came to our ball to show off that you didn’t need one to pick out your own wife. But you’re also down for a little side fuck along the way?” Why else would he go right for the one person here who looked like they’d be down to mess around? You may have slept around before you got hung up on Johnny, but you’d never cheated or been a homewrecker ever. And that wasn’t something you wanted to add that to your resume any time soon.He freaked out as soon as you said it, like his future wife who wasn’t there yet would overhear, “Oh, do you have to say it so crassly? Affairs are commonplace for us royals—”“Do you actually know what it means to be a prince? Or have you spent your whole life coasting off your money and title?” Your question was honestly asked with malicious intent. When Prince Brian stared at you like he had no goddamn idea what you meant, you knew you had to get away from him fast. “Excuse me.”You understood from your dad’s research and, like, watching the news, that princes didn’t do much anymore besides charity work and looking hot. Those were the two things you told Jaehyun he should get used to, after all.However. Maybe your definition of a prince was insanely biased at this point, but what happened to the irritating chivalry, the over-the-top need to do good, the stupid dignity steeped into every action? There were reasons why every little girl wanted to grow up and marry a prince - maybe the origin of your not like other girls competition - and a shitty leather jacket plus the absolute lack of respect for women were not among them.But did his idiotic pickup attempt have a point? Were you............“We have an emergency.”Yuna and Jessica honed into an awful possible moment to interrupt you with their bullshit, but the worried looks on their faces had you thinking the worst. They looked exactly the same when they came to the hospital (just for a few minutes, until they found out your dad was supposed to be okay and left! Lol!) so you knew they weren’t faking it for attention.You held Yuna’s arm with caution and glanced her up and down, before asking, “Are you hurt?”“I don’t have a cute dress for the ball," she whined.These fucking people.The two of them were getting on your nerves more than ever, you bit your tongue to keep from shouting at them in an anxious attack, “You brought a dress in every color when we came here and have been buying dresses ever since.”Your bank account had slowly been losing what the palace was dripping in and there was no way you could stop it. Not to mention you had no idea how to solve this problem, considering the ball was in two days.“Buy another one!” Jessica snapped at you. “Don’t pretend like you’re stupid.”Yuna’s face lit up with the genius idea she had, “Wait, everyone loved your outfit at the birthday party.”Almost comically fucking hilarious to share the same WTF look with Jessica as you did then.“That wasn’t really ball worthy—” You started to guide her off the path like you knew you should. But when your fingers trailed down to meet the silk of your long skirt and some unexpected, quiet fear followed, you figured you should just go with it. “You know what, let me see what I have.”The best you could do was a tiny, knockoff Miu Miu mini skirt, but at least pretending to search your closet would give you a break from all of this.Back to your spiraling.Were you just a wild affair Jaehyun had before he got married?You didn’t want to think that was the truth and you just said you weren’t that kind of person. But it was feeling more and more like you were.Did this costume change really not have anything to do with the fucking laundry? Why on earth were you wearing a long skirt, other than the fact that your subconscious wanted you to be taken seriously as someone Jaeyhun could pick?“I always feel as if you are escaping me.”Stopping in the middle of the hallway at the surprise callout, you felt your palms slick with subtle excitement to see Jaehyun hidden in one of the alcoves you’d walked by. He’d lost his overcoat and his fingers were half-clenched around the ends of his shirt sleeves, but he looked a bit less tired and maybe slightly happier than before.“I always feel like you’re waiting for me.” You were going to leave it there, then your heart prodded you into adding on, “It’s nice.”Somewhere along the way, you stopped being freaked out at his sudden surprises and started tuning your ear to the subdued undertones of his affection.Like now, when his hair fell into his eyes as he ducked to hide his shocked little smile in his shoulder, the softest thing ever. Blush crept up from his neck to his ear and this was exactly why you couldn’t figure out what he was trying to do with you.He managed to get himself together and ask, “What have you deemed escapable in this instance? Was it Lady Yuna and her mother behaving churlishly towards you once again?”Uh.You weren’t exactly sure what the hell churlish meant or what the hell Jaehyun saw to make his handsome face all pinched like that. But you couldn’t lead him down this path, no matter how much you appreciated that a third party was finally able to see their bullshit.“Prince Brian. Shit dancer, shit person.” You did not want to waste an opportunity to make your feelings about that loser known, you learned your lesson.Yesterday's romp was hot as fuck, and the Canadian prince played a certain role in spiking the temperatures, but you would rather not tempt fate just to experience that again.And Jaehyun stole that opening as smoothly as he could, “I have been taking lessons since I was five years of age.”Convenient.How quickly he grabbed your hands and tucked you into this quiet corner made you think he’d been wanting to do that since he left your room yesterday. You weren’t holding him the proper way he taught you, he wasn’t giving you any space to move, you just swayed side to side as your fingers tentatively tangled and didn't let go. Then you were caught up in how the dangling chandelier behind Jaehyun’s head made him look like he was wearing a crown.And you just had to ask, “How are you?”He’d slunk out of your room like he was embarrassed to lose control the way he did. And you realized that the reason you’d been so paralyzed after was 'cause you couldn’t figure out if he regretted it, too.He shrugged but did not let go of you. “Passable.”“My hookup performances usually get better reviews,” you made the lewd joke to hide your worry.His head snapped with the force of his inelegant cackle, half the notes coming out choked in a cough because he was laughing so hard. And you were just…......... you were continuously fucked the more time you spent with him, because why the hell were you wishing you’d brought your phone here to take a picture of him like laughing this?Jaehyun let out a sigh that was still twinged in giggles before he looked down on you with his eyes all sparkly and fresh. “You are deserving of a less sullen demeanor, that is for certain,” he made a little joke back before he sucked in the entire atmosphere to admit, “Sleep tends to evade me more often than it did so before.”He was just tired? Not exhausted with the thought that he went too far?It hit you out of nowhere. “Are you afraid to?”His pretty lips trembled for a second before he nodded and the unknown puzzle pieces moved into place. Why he always walked around with those dark eyebags, why half your private rendezvous were done at a stupid late hour, and even why he may have spent those early nights hooking up with people he shouldn’t’ve… just to stay awake.You can’t believe you were stupid enough not to realize the man was terrified of falling asleep. He must’ve been out of his mind thinking he might not wake up every time the clock crept to midnight.“That blows,” you whispered. When his face folded in misunderstanding, you squeezed his hands in yours and edited it, “That’s very sad. I’m sorry.”You wish you knew how to fix that for him—“May I ask you a question?” Jaehyun wondered suddenly.“You always have way too many of them.” You tickled his hands so he knew that you didn’t mind - and you truly didn’t. Teaching him these… stupid, inconsequential things that you grew up learning was what softened your heart towards his arrogant ass self the most. It was impossibly hard for a man as smart as him to admit he didn’t know what he was doing.Jaehyun's breathing caught on a dam of nerves, before he picked his words out carefully, “You were offered the choice to join the proceedings as an equal from the beginning. Whyever did you refuse that choice?”Now was your turn to get nervous.And when you got nervous, you always deflected from the truth, “If you don’t know by now why it wouldn’t’ve worked, we really need to tell Chancellor Mark to have you study more.”“With honesty, I beg.”His sad little eyes always got you.“That is the honest answer. I was unwilling to change myself for a stranger. Not unwilling... there was, is, no benefit for me to do that. No way.”Stubbornly sticking to how you’ve always been was the one thing you could do to ensure that your connections to the past stayed tied. To remind yourself that losing everything - and your stepmother's attempts to remind you of it daily - could never change you.“But you are here with me, practicing the waltz. Whilst wearing a long skirt,” Jaehyun countered with his genius argument, before he let the back of his palm brush against your thigh.And here you were with him, practicing the waltz whilst wearing a long skirt.“I never thought I’d be this good at a job.” You’d never had a real one (beyond looking hot and handing out bottles, the easiest thing in the world), so how would you know?“You continue to regard our rapport as simply an obligation of the agreement we came to?” Jaehyun seemed upset with that answer, really upset, and he made you stop swaying to look hard in your eyes for the secrets you were hiding.“Yes,” you said quietly, so he could sense the lie you couldn’t admit to.“Why?”“There’s been no sign it’s anything different.”Kissing, hooking up, even dancing like this implied the seriousness of romance, but you weren’t the only one he was sharing these moments with. And you knew for yourself how quickly feelings could change for a guy. How were you now caught between two dudes from two different eras with the same problem?“No signs?!” Jaehyun huffed in half-serious frustration as he glanced down at your linked hands and squeezed hard. “Surely, you must be jesting.”“I like things to be obvious.”Really obvious. Despite being the street smart person you were, your brain still needed a flashing Vegas-sized neon sign to navigate towards through your emotional damage.Then this idiot leaned in to kiss you in the middle of the hallway, where anyone could see.You ducked away from Jaehyun and gasped, “Not that obvious!”Okay, not a flashing neon sign. Maybe a plain, simple, hidden one… so you wouldn’t get beheaded by the masses if you were caught.“Obvious, not so, denying an exchange of kisses, allowing a rendezvous in your bedroom.” Jaehyun listed out your inconsistent behaviors one by one and you realized how confusing things must’ve been for him in reverse. His dimples pressed in deeply before he asked the haughty question, “Must you be so disagreeable?”“Yes. Always.” If he wanted you, he had to take you the way you were.His features softened and his smile extended right into his eyes, then he murmured, “I understand.”You reached for his face without thinking, to hold his soft cheeks in your hands, feel for yourself the blush that you inspired and the trembles you conducted. You kissed right where his left dimple creased into his skin, a soft little thing that felt far more serious than you thought it would.That was… your sign. Maybe. Possibly. And of what, you didn’t know, but there it was. — After Jessica making you transfer almost all of your bank account over, scrolling by a thousand different pink princess dresses on Yuna’s favorite website, and getting a firm no to all of them, you were officially losing your shit. You opened up to the website you usually ordered from and pulled up a tiny black dress that was held together by leather buckles and nothing else.“Okay, what do you think about this?” you asked.She made a grossed-out face where she was sitting on your bed. “I don’t think it’s very princess-y.”Welp, so much for trying to lighten the mood.You attempted to force her into making a decision after sitting here for hours, “I need to order something, like, now if it’s going to be here in time for tomorrow.”“You really don’t have anything I can use? I want to look like you.”You and Jessica once again shared the same dumbfounded reaction. That was a first for Yuna to admit to and it made you feel beyond strange, considering everything Jaehyun had been saying to woo you.“I think you should look like you, you’re more of a princess than I could ever be,” you tried your hardest to deflect away from that comparison.Jessica shot you another weird look and you wondered if she saw the blob of insecurity that you swallowed. But until you had the sign from him (the stupid fucking sign!) you couldn’t help reacting that way.Yuna did a bit of unintentional backstabbing with the ball’s greater meaning when she said, “This is serious! I could be engaged after tomorrow!“Maybe. I think he likes you a lot.” You felt like a total scumbag lying like that, but what the hell were you supposed to say? The other night he ate me out so hard I almost fell onto the bed right next to where you’re sitting??????????????????“You’ll live with us in the palace when we get married, right, sis?”The mere mention of that possibility had you sinking straight from anxious to horrified, leaving behind an actual trail of pain across the inside of your chest. What the fuck, that was so fucked up to think about.You glared at Jessica and thank fucking god she answered the way she was supposed to, “Let’s focus on now.”Yuna’s bitchy side had been on high alert recently, because she started scolding you out of nowhere, “You’ll really have to clean up, though. The prince might say it’s okay, but I really don’t think.....”She was interrupted by a knock on the door and Mark peeked his head in to ask without waiting, “Lady Chancellor, a moment?”He was there for… you?At first, you thought this had something to do with preparations for the ball and why you hadn’t seen much of him the past few days. But Yuna and Jessica's twin suspicious glances your way knocked a denial right out of your mouth, “I’m busy.”“With urgency.”You were just going to have to hope your palace immunity would save you from those freaks interrogating you afterwards.“What is it, do you need a trial run for your makeup and hair as well, Chancellor Mark?” When you made the bad joke and he didn’t laugh, you wondered if he finally put it together why you had the two of them in your room. Was this was the end of it? Was he was there to handcuff you and put you into one of those wooden head holes for duping the prince—“I have brought a gift from his royal highness,” he said quietly. “He conveyed his intent for you to wear it at the ball tomorrow.”Mark held out an elegant mahogany box, marked with the Jeong sigil in real silver across the lid and with the side closest to you carved to look like a mountainside cliff overlooking a body of water.Your heartbeat quickened but you managed to play it off, “I’m not going to that weird-ass event.”“I think it’s best you might," he said calmly. "Unless you intend to embarrass him by leaving him alone during the dancing.”Was that idiot planning to ask you for the first dance or whatever? You didn’t even have an outfit to—you did. You did have an outfit. And it, unfortunately, would be the perfect thing for you to wear if you had to waltz with Jaehyun in the middle of a palace ballroom tomorrow.You grabbed the box and threw it open, thinking that it’d be something silly and your lame reaction would be the end of things.And instead, you were met with a gorgeous diamond bracelet nestled into the velvet lining inside. Gorgeous was really underselling it too, each diamond was uniquely cut - some like raindrops, some like the perfect center of a flower, some like they’d just tumbled out of the ground with no shaping - to fit together in this priceless loop.Jewelry, just like you asked for.“I guess I have to pick an outfit that isn’t so slutty,” you chuckled softly, before your vocal cords swelled closed with unexpected emotion.Mark’s echoing laugh was ironic and wry, but not necessarily upset, “I suppose your outfit choices do not matter anymore.”This wasn’t something Jaehyun ran out to Tiffany’s for and wasted a lot of cash on just to say he could. This was old and gilded and special, and because of that, you found yourself opening up your phone to the screenshots of your father’s book - specifically to the section regarding marriage traditions of the royal family.

The Jeong ancestors had a jewelry set composed of a diamond ring and matching bracelet made by a famous jeweler from their home state of Delaware. Passed to every daughter or daughter-in-law welcomed into the family, the bracelet was the customary first gift before the ring was bestowed at an engagement.

Oh, god. Okay. This was his sign.“Cool,” you whispered to Mark’s back he walked away. “Thanks.”You held the box against your chest and knew that you absolutely had to wear the—Inside, Yuna had your favorite blue dress in her hands. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Seeing the silky sky blue fabric somewhere other than your bag or your closet felt like such an insane fever dream.You had no idea how to process what you were seeing for a second, it made no sense that Yuna was holding the dress. Your dress. Your dad's dress. Your mouth went deadly dry and every syllable of your next question cracked, “What are you doing?”“I thought you said you had nothing for me to wear tomorrow. I can wear this.” She held the dress up to her body so she could see what it’d look like in the mirror and an aching flinch split through your heart.“That one you can’t wear.” Anything else in your closet was fair game, but not that, never that.She shrugged. “Too bad, I’m going to wear it anyways.”Too bad? Too bad?! Did she really just say too bad?When you were once again lost for words, Yuna looked you in the eye and snapped with full attitude, “You’re taking things from me, I’m gonna take things from you.”“What?” You had absolutely no idea what the fuck she was talking about.“Tell me what the prince gave you and I’ll put the dress down.”Hiding the wooden box behind your body was incriminating as hell, but you could not believe they eavesdropped and were now using this as some sort of sick leverage over you. You didn't ask for this, you didn't even know it was going to happen. And it was hard not feel guilty that you were stuck at this shitty ass crossroads, deciding between keeping this sweet, special secret or saving one of the final memories you had of your dad.But this was a strange new world where you were determined to keep both, so you just said, “No.”You outright saying no to one of their orders, even with the tons of cursing tantrums you’d thrown before, was able to stun Yuna long enough for you to walk over and rip the dress away from her.Standing over her with the precious fabric caught in your fingers, your simmering heartbreak boiled over into the most anger you’d ever felt in your life, “If you ever touch the dress my dad gave me again, I will kill you.”It wasn’t just enough that the dress was safe, you wanted them to feel every bit of your pain they took their sweet time inflicting.Jessica stepped in to warn you, “You wouldn’t dare to threaten her like that.”"Oh, yeah? Want something else instead?" You had no fear left as you stared at them and began acting out the sarcastic half of a conversation they would never survive, “Hi, Chancellor Mark. Hi, your highness, I was wondering if you would like to know how much money I owe my bitchass stepfamily because of my father’s death—”Yuna put a hand over your mouth to shut you up and some primal instinct made your teeth snap to try and bite her.She slapped you hard across the cheek to defend herself. And as the stinging outline of her palm raged red against your senses, you managed to pick up her insane insult, “Why didn’t your parents raise you not to be a bitch?!”The sting was gone the next time you blinked, her petty slap was nothing in comparison to the fistfights you got into in your early twenties. Then you saw, in perfect clarity, when Yuna’s face creased in fear because… you'd raised your hand in return, but not to slap her back. Your fingers were clenched closed in a fist and you could feel the aching flex of your arm muscles winding up the strength to absolutely clock her.Her mother grabbed her away immediately and they fled for their lives she gasped, “Let’s get out of here, sweetheart. She's crazy.”You let out a frustrated noise and hugged the dress to your heart as you sunk down to the floor. Even though you made damn sure not to waste a single fucking tear on those cunts, that whole thing was just… shitty. So shitty. So, so, so shitty. You never came to terms with your dad being gone, ever, you were barely hanging onto survival all these years because you didn’t know what else to do.Sudden, frenzied energy sparked in your chest, fueled by the ghosts that had lingered too hard while you were here. You went straight to your closet for your bag - it was still early in the night, by the time you hit the road you could be there by the time the club opened.Your door opened and you braced yourself for more violence, before Nayeon’s curious voice hit you, “What are you doing? Are you packing?”You didn’t turn around and tried to keep your voice from breaking as you answered, “I’m going back home to see Johnny’s show.”“What? That’s next week?” She rushed over to crouch beside you when you didn’t say anything in response. Despite fighting to keep your expression neutral, one look at your face and she knew something had gone down. “What happened. What’s wrong?”“Are you coming or not?” you hoarsely whispered.She wasn’t going to stop you, no one could.And the greatest quality of being a BFFF, a best fucking friend forever, was that Nayeon always went along with whatever you wanted. This was no different. “Of course I am. I need to talk to Hong anyways, let me go get him to pay for our tickets home.”There wasn't much to bring back with you, no greater demonstration of the current circumstances of your life. Just your dress, some clothes, his bracelet, the journal. The sigil pin came out of your second piercing and you threw it across the room in a flare-up of anger. You’d have to come back at some point to fulfill the rest of your agreement and get all of your things, but you needed a fucking break from everyone in this goddamn palace.Especially from Solar, who appeared just in time to corner you as you were sneaking out through your dressing room, “You are leaving? You cannot leave.”She had the same frantic look in her eyes that she did the week that Johnny visited. Your head was going to explode if you didn't make it out of here in the next two seconds.You started desperately toeing the line between polite and aggressive, “I’m sorry, I really like you, but you can’t tell me what to do.” Maybe mentioning Johnny again would trigger her enough into letting you go? “My boyf... the guy I’m seeing has a big show this weekend. I never miss his shows.”“But the prince, what will he do without you?”You didn’t want to fucking think about that.Hot, horrible tears swirled into your eyes as you started walking away from her. Then raspy words poured from your lips instead like they knew the tears couldn’t, “I can’t right now. I can’t be around him, I just… need a break. It’s too much.”You just knew there was going to be a paragraph in the journal explaining how the King and Queen had to seek permission from the fathers of brides that entered their family tree before the weddings could occur. You couldn’t bring yourself to accept that beautiful bracelet knowing that your dad would never see it.Solar raced to catch up while breathlessly asking, “Whatever do you mean?”Panic started to get to you, you couldn’t make any of this sound right, “You know that we… we. You know what we did, you know we would never work that way.”It was never going to work.“That is not factual, true love is always the means to an end,” she said.You laughed in her fucking face and the ache in your lungs almost split through to your sides.“True love? Lady, have you been fucking high this whole time?! Did you also wake up after a three hundred year nap?! This is not true love!” This was just the weird Do I have feelings dilemma that happened after every drunken makeout! It got you so badly you started wearing long skirts again! It got Jaehyun so badly he gave you one half of the royal engagement set!She held your arm to stop you and despite the shock of her freezing cold palms, you could feel, oddly enough, her subtle affection for you. “I do not believe that.”Unfortunately, it didn’t fucking matter what she believed.You took your hand out of hers and mumbled, “I have to go.”She looked around one last time, to make sure no one - no one - saw your attempt at escaping, then whispered, “Take the back passages, the staff will spot you at the main entrance.”“Thanks… or whatever.”Despite the heartbroken final look Solar gave you, you were grateful that she always did her best to help you when you needed it. That made you think of Nayeon doing the same, which had you emotional all over again. Would you be able to see her if you decided to leave VBeach? How would you even keep up your friendship if you were here and she wasn’t? Why would you put yourself through that?You grabbed your bag and ran.Booked it, sprinted, whatever the fuck. You needed to get out of there, you would run back to your apartment if you could.After ducking into the hallway that led towards the staff quarters, you were met with such deep silence, enough to calm your stormy mind and silently thank Solar for suggesting you come this way. Until you turned into the final exit corridor and saw Jaehyun waiting outside Mark’s room's door, definitely trying to find out if you’d given his right hand man an answer yet.He must’ve heard your tiny, horrified gasp of No!, because he turned and saw you right away. “Lady B… Lady Blueberry?You screeched to a halt which pretty much gave away that you were running like a coward, as did your shaky breaths, “Y-your h-highness. I didn’t think you’d be here.”You wanted to escape without having to do this with him. You called yourself a tough bitch time and the again but you really had the stupidest soft heart underneath all of it.“You have gathered your possessions with you.” Jaehyun took note of the bag you never carried, then his eyes focused in on the uncharacteristic bruised-shaped spot on your cheek, covered with an unfamiliar sheen of sweat and desperation. “Have you decided to return to your far away palace in the Beaches of Virginia?”“Yep.” Easier for him to figure it out from unsaid clues than for you to hurt yourself explaining.“Why?”“Because I want to.”Your fake IDGAF attitude did the job, forcing you to stand there and watch the sparkle slip out of Jaehyun’s eyes as he processed that you were going home. His mouth opened and closed like he didn’t want to say the words, otherwise it’d make this whole thing real, “This is… farewell? You are truly leaving me?”“Yep.” You popped the p and he flinched hard.“I must confess that I am confused. Did you not receive my sign?”Through the fabric of your bag, like its loyalty was still to him, the edge of the wooden box dug into your ribs and you knew you’d have another little bruise tomorrow. Your heart wrenched in this overwhelming ache - you could feel it trying to crawl out of your chest and show itself off, so that Jaehyun didn’t assume you were rejecting the most gorgeous display of affection anyone had ever shown you.But protecting yourself meant hurting him and there was only one way to do that.“What sign?” you lied.You were such a fucking bitch. Seeing Jaehyun hurt like this because of you, his lively and lovely cheeks all pale, his strength zapped like the day he just woke up? This was the one of the worst things you’d ever done.All you had to do was get through the last bit of shittiness, then you were free, “I have to go. Good luck with your ball tomorrow.”And you left Jaehyun there, like none of this had ever happened. — You fell into your tiny twin bed in your tiny, empty room and the second you thought that it smelled differently than you were used to, the emotions began to swarm.You’d ended up on a separate bus from Nayeon, so you spent the four hour drive down to VBeach sitting in horrified silence as the girl next to you FaceTime flirted with her long distance boyfriend. This distance between here and Arlington was everything you needed and downright awful at the same time - you felt safe here in your kingdom but also unsettled, not knowing what Jaehyun was doing on his own.And the fact that you felt guilty as your eyes started to close - for being able to fall asleep fast when he couldn’t - meant your feelings for him went so much deeper than you could ever acknowledge.The lights went on before you could drift off and you didn’t understand why it felt so fucking dark in your room… was that a candle on your nightstand instead of your thrifted lava lamp?“My lady, I have come from the palace as quick as I could, bearing some concerning news to share with you.”Why was Mark in your room? Why was Mark in your room wearing one of those Grandpa Joe ass sleep caps and a long nightgown? And why was he also holding a candle?“If you are unwilling to tell her to her face, tell it to mine.” Nayeon was beside you on this huge bed, wearing an elegant, wispy nightgown that made her look like she was part of the ruby bedspread. At least she still looked like herself, those deep worry lines by her eyes were classic Nayeon.Mark lowered his voice so only the two of you could hear, “I have caught wind of a rumor circulating through the waitstaff… that your future husband is a craven individual.” His words became no higher than a whisper because of the details that followed, “It is said that he seeks intimate relationships with women throughout the province, regardless of status or class.”Who was this dude you were supposed to marry who was apparently giving fuckboy? Were you supposed to be mad or something?You went to tell Mark that word for word, but what came out in your voice was a desperate gasp of, “But we are to be married.”An overwhelming pain started to build over your heart, as if hearing that piece of news had just broken it clean in two.“He does not appear to pay any heed to that.” Mark’s answer trembled in the air and he lowered his gaze so he did not look you right in the eyes.The hurt was truly, truly unbearable and you did not understand where it was coming from. It wasn’t just from Nayeon gripping your arm hard or her shrill voice commanding Mark, “There is more you are not telling us.”More? You couldn’t take more.Mark took a deep breath and revealed, “Tonight, he has purportedly claimed that he will not cease even after the marriage is registered.”The prince did not want to enter into this marriage in the manner a proper young man should? He was going to… abandon you in your marital chambers and carry on affairs with other women? How did that make any lick of sense? He returned your letters with great enthusiasm, Papa had even said your portrait was received by the royal family with much fanfare.You were caught closely in your sister’s embrace straight away, as she lamented mournfully, “Oh, great heavens. Are you sure of this?”Mark nodded with great regret and sorrow. “I am truly apologetic to bear this news to you, my lady. If I may suggest, perhaps speak with your father and find a way to end the engagement.”But you were fond of the prince. You found him… amusing.When Mark departed and it was just the two of you sisters alone, you began suffering through the unique, untoward experience of observing your future through the lens of looming romantic destruction. You never anticipated becoming a victim of the marriage you’d share. The ideals of true love were something your father built into your heart through the stories he read you as a young girl.Your sister was betrothed to a man who was closely acquainted with another prominent lord in your province. Would it be possible to escape this before it ruined you?“Papa will never allow me to,” you whispered to yourself.He had reached above his status to request the prince as your future husband. You were quite aware that he held the royal family at a status of extreme veneration.Suddenly, you were you again and you weren't next to Nayeon or your faceless sister anymore. She had a face now - Solar was the one staring back at you, with a wild, infuriated gleam in her eyes. She suddenly rose from your shared bed with a swirling energy about her and proclaimed, “I will fix this on my own, sweet sister. Do not be distressed—”The lights flooded back to full brightness, burned into your eyes, and when you blinked you were met by the sight of Nayeon standing over you in your bed. It was her real face, not the strange version that had showed up in the dream you realized you had, and it was soft with so much concern. She stroked your hair softly and whispered, “Hey, sorry. It’s me, I just got back. Wanted to check on you.”A downpour of relief watered your heart.Before you could say anything, you smiled at her and fell right back asleep, this time blessed with a blackout of dreamlessness. — 
[1:45 pm] big djohnny: heard ur back. wanna talk?[4:36 pm] you: whatever ig
Getting over a man by getting under a new one was about to come full circle in a fucked up as fuck way. Funny.A ring of smoke blew up from Nayeon’s edge of your bed as a lead in to her question, “So… are we ever going to talk about why we’re here right now and not prepping for the royal ball?”You didn’t answer or take the blunt when she handed it over.She sat up at your uncharacteristic display of laziness and poked your arm. “Are you too high to talk, or are you just ignoring me?”You ignored her.Also, how did she not notice you hadn’t smoked any of that? You knew getting high would somehow end with making all of these feelings hit so much worse.Nayeon grabbed your face so you couldn’t avoid her any longer and forced you into this conversation, “What did he say when you told him? You didn’t leave without saying something, right? You would be a real bitch if you did.”“I didn’t, leave me alone.” You rolled into the pillow as your tantrum roared and then died with your sad little whisper, “He was upset. He didn’t say he was, but I could tell.”“Shit,” she exhaled and fell back on the bed.“I know.”His usually captivating eyes being squashed into those sad little puppy dog gemstones had become this grotesque tattoo behind your eyelids, one you were forced to see every time you blinked.Your phone went off and you were officially crazy, because your first thought was maybe he’d stolen Mark’s phone and figured out what a call was…. Only to go through the hideous roller coaster of feeling your stomach drop when you saw the sister contact lighting up your screen. There was no chance you were going to ignore this, you were ready to have this fight so you could feel something other than sadness.“What the fuck do you want?”Even Nayeon seemed surprised when you opened the call like that.Yuna gasped on the other end, “Excuse me?!”“What the fuck do you want, bitch? Sorry. I know I left that one out.” Sometimes it felt like you transformed into a demon every time you came to your real home, where you were happy to do whatever the fuck you wanted.Jessica took over when it became clear you weren’t going to cooperate, “You decided to leave without informing us?”You wonder what finally clued them in after almost a full day of you being back in VBeach without saying a word. Was it when Yuna went to get her makeup done for the ball by the hired professional artists, came out looking like a clown, and you weren't there to help?“Honestly, have you people not heard of vacation or am I actually just a prisoner to you?” You were holding nothing back at this point. What the hell could they do to you over the phone?“What is Yuna supposed to do while you’re gone?” Jessica sounded genuinely flustered, like she knew her daughter’s chances were fucked now. “The ball was—”“If you can’t keep the prince’s attention on your own, that sounds like a bigger problem for you than me. Take a happy pill and deal with it. Jeez, you weirdos act like he’s a god or something.”Nayeon shot you a pointed look that you were going to pretend you didn’t see due to the cloud of smoke floating around her head.“I’m so glad he doesn’t want to marry you,” Yuna whined with fake concern, like she was actually worried you’d corrupted Jaehyun by accident or whatever.“He doesn’t want to marry me? I want you to remember that I don’t want to marry him." The lies spewed so easily out of you that you weren’t even sure who the hell you were anymore. “If I ever changed my mind, you know it’d fucking be over for you. Felix ring a bell?”It was downright evil for you to make Yuna remember her prom night, but it was what it was. She came home from the dance with Felix, her boyfriend at the time, went to go change into the ironed nightie that you’d laid out for her - after spending the whole semester chirping about how they’d win prom queen and king, then have sex for the first time - and walked back in on him hitting on you while she was gone, I didn’t realize there were two pretty sisters in this house.Twin gasps echoed on the other end and Yuna sounded close to tears next time she spoke, “How dare you bring that up.”“Just wanna let you know that he was fucking good in bed. Made me come a bunch of times. Goodbye.”There was another shattering gasp, but you hung up the phone, another first for you. As you blocked them on every account you could, your heart was dead ass hammering with the adrenaline-fueled power that had built the whole conversation.Nayeon laughed in disbelief, “You never fucked Felix.”“I know,” you muttered. “He was a creep.”Of course you'd never sleep with a loser like him. All that happened after was that Yuna cried in her room and Felix kept hitting on you on his way out. You told him outright you thought football players were pussies and gave him the finger continuously through his protests until his car disappeared up the street. But you were sure he spread rumors at their school about what you didn't do regardless of what you said. You weren't sure though, you weren't there to defend yourself.It was so satisfying to hit your stepsister in the worst of her insecurities, something you had never, ever done before. But the satisfaction only lasted for a second - they were def gonna plan some shitty ass comeback against you because of it.Whatever.
[2:17 pm] big djohnny: come now
Well, that was going to be more than literal in the next hour or so. Yikes!You peeled yourself up to grab your purse and Nayeon clocked you out of nowhere, “Lemme guess. You’re heading to J’s?”“For your information, he was the one who asked me to meet up.” It wasn’t a crime for you to do that since you were still………. single. “And you’re the one going to spend the night with Hongsuck.”She had her frilly little overnight bag packed already and everything. God this fucking sucked, you both deserved nice people and none of this bullshit.Nayeon hooked her leg around yours so that you fell back onto the bed and into her embrace. When she hugged you hard, you were hit with the vivid memory of your dream, especially when she sighed into your hair, “You’re the only person I love.”“Nice cover up," you grumbled, before you pressed a fat kiss to her cheek. "Love you, dude.”You were right to only ever view her as your true sister, no one else. — Being in VBeach was exactly what you needed.While your neighborhood was too far away from the oceanside boardwalk to really smell the salt air, the breeze was still so much better down here compared to how disgusting it was up north. You could finally take a breath without choking on it, could walk up the sidewalk without feeling your skin stick. Seeing the massive oak tree outside the entrance to your building and the inflatable man at the car dealership next door was a lighthearted, yet very needed reminder that nothing had changed while you were gone.Even if maybe you did.You crossed the street without looking - if a car came, it came, lmao - and Johnny was sitting on the front steps of his apartment building. You wondered if he would’ve even given two shits about you if he had to spend more than two minutes walking over to have sex.“Sup, dude.”“Hey, Frowny. Whatcha doing back here?”And why the hell are you wearing that was Johnny’s unspoken question based on his weird look up and down at you. But you just hadn't felt like changing out of your slob outfit of sweatpants and an old crop top, okay?! And it’s not like you needed to put effort in for him like you felt you needed to elsewhere. With other people. Person. A person.You used Johnny as an excuse back in Arlington, so you planned to use the reverse now since he did not need the ego boost, “The palace needed me to work on some things back here.”Which didn’t even make sense, but you knew he was dumb enough to buy it.“They let you do that? That’s surprising.” You couldn't tell if his doubt was real, or if he was just taking the chance to roast people he didn’t get along with,“I don’t really care what they think,” you said.Whether or not you believed that was a different thing entirely.“Thank fucking god,” Johnny sighed in relief when you passed his hidden test. “They didn’t actually change you. I was so scared they did.”He stood up from the steps and tried to reach for your face, eyes closed and mouth already halfway open in a pucker as he intended to make out with you. But did he forget that you fought pretty badly the last time you were together? Did he not care you hadn’t talked once after he left?You dodged his kiss as quickly as you could. The idea of doing that with him felt like… ugh, fuck… deep betrayal.“Can you be serious for once in your life.” He made a serious face at your request and you laughed quietly at how ridiculous it was that you were even about to ask this, “Am I ever gonna be your girlfriend? Or will I be sixty years old and still fucking you in the dark in clubs?”Because if you weren’t destined to be a person’s princess wife, you had come to this awkward place of realizing you wanted more traditional things out of your relationship than you thought you did before.“Do they even let sixty-year-olds into clubs?” He slapped his thigh because he found his own joke so0o0o0o0o0o0o0o hilarious. Douche.“Johnny.”At least he had the decency to sober up when he saw you were being sincere - even if that made him beyond confused by how to respond, “I thought you didn’t care about that stuff.”You never did before… and that was a sign.“You can’t honestly tell me this is satisfying for you? Or maybe I’m wrong?” The fleeting encounters, the strange lack of permanent foundation under your feet, the others who flocked around you like a pack of hungry vultures just waiting for the first sign of trouble? Wasn’t it all so tiring for him?“How 'bout this. I’ll take you on a real date tomorrow, restaurant and daylight and all,” Johnny offered without taking a second to think.... which meant he was just saying what he assumed you wanted to hear, in hopes of shutting you up.But offering was big of him, honestly.You pinched his arm with some of the good ol' mutual fondness that was still hanging around. “Some pinnacle of romance, you are.”“Come here, Frowns. I’m glad you’re home.” He gathered you up in a hug and you enjoyed it for one second before the same feeling of betrayal spread up your spine and exploded over the back of your neck. It got bad when you couldn't ignore how warm and nice he felt, even worse when Johnny added on a pretty nice, “I missed you.”“I missed you…” Over his shoulder, a head of dark hair flashed in and out of your vision. “Jaehyun?”Johnny got angry immediately, “Jaehyun? Are you fucking serious? I’m Johnny. John-Ny—”“No, look.”You had to make sure your secondhand high from Nayeon’s marijuana moment hadn’t affected your eyesight, but Johnny’s energy going sour was enough confirmation…. that you had indeed seen Jaehyun. Wearing a Welcome to Washington DC shirt two sizes too small for him, a pair of jeans two sizes too big, and his favorite shiny loafers, he was standing at the corner of your VBeach neighborhood intersection and scratching his head like he had no idea what to do.Johnny started pulling you away while being a mega asshole, “Quick, if we go inside fast, he won’t see us.”Your overwhelming anger gave you enough strength to push him away and send him stumbling to the ground, before you punched his shoulder and yapped, “Are you serious, dude? The last time the guy was alive, they used wooden carriages to get around! How the hell is he in VBeach?!” You punched him one more time for being such an idiot. “Alone?!” Another punch for good measure. “Use your brain!”You stuffed your face in your hands and let the anger transform into such sweet, unexpected relief, that Jaehyun made it down to your hometown in one piece and against all fucking odds.People on the street stared as you waved your arms over your head and shouted, “Jaehyun! Jaehyun, over here!,” but you didn’t care. Until he was by your side with his hand in yours, your brain was trained to think he was in danger.“What?” Jaehyun did a full spin trying to find the noise and his knee buckled when he spotted you, waving at him in your also uncharacteristic outfit. “Oh.”He wobbled where he was standing, pale face a mix of sheet-like and ghostly, and it was clear to you he was seconds away from fainting.You ordered the man beside you to get up off his useless ass and do something, “Catch him, J!” And Johnny was startled enough to run over and pluck Jaehyun out of midair when his legs went jellified. But when his huge arms couldn’t keep them both upright and Jaehyun’s head almost hit the pavement, you started yelling at him again, “Why the hell do you even go to the gym if you can barely do that!”Jaehyun weakly patted Johnny’s chest and whispered, “I thank you for preventing me from a collapse. Quite noble of you.”Johnny was confused as hell but said, “You’re welcome?”He flexed his muscles properly to show off for you while he was lifting Jaehyun to his feet - you couldn’t be less impressed! - then the two of you somehow managed to get the lost prince to the entryway of Johnny's apartment building.But Johnny stopped at the steps and didn’t continue on, so you ordered him again, “Open the door.”“I’m on probation!” he hissed.What the fuck did that have to do with anything?!“Open the door right now or I’m never fucking you again.” As soon as Johnny processed the threat, he scrambled for his keys. But you had never been turned off more in your life and made sure to tell him that, “Goddamn, you’re a loser.”You ended up bearing all of a shaken Jaehyun’s weight as you walked him into the tiny ground floor apartment Johnny rented, thanking every fucking god who existed that Sehun had gone to his shift at the tattoo parlor. You put him in the beach chair that doubled as Johnny’s living room furniture, yet even in his strange outfit he looked so regal amongst the shit scattered around the place.Jaehyun hadn’t blinked or moved his head around to check, but he’d absorbed enough of his surroundings to comment, “It is not pleasant in here. This is not velvet like my chair at the palace.”Ha, there he was.“I know, I know, It could use a throw blanket or something,” you grunted subtly at Johnny before you fixed Jaehyun’s hair and felt his forehead to make sure he didn’t catch a fever. “Are you okay? How did you even get here? We’re so far away.”“I rode on the… big carriage, with many chairs,” Jaehyun answered blankly as he held out his arms to mimic the size of what he traveled on.The big carriage with many chairs?“You took the bus?!” you yelped when you realized, then added on context for him to understand, “Was there a man in front?”“Yes.”Oh, shit.Shit, shit, shit. Public transportation? He took the wack ass Megabus and survived? Was he insane?You grabbed Jaehyun’s wrist to feel for yourself that his pulse was still thrumming and he wasn’t coming to you as a ghost victim of the public buses, then asked one more time, “Are you sure you’re okay?”“I… believe so. There was a man who was singing the entire journey. He requested I proffer money.” Jaehyun peered up at you with his wide, battle-scarred eyes and breathed, “I did not have money.”You held in a laugh at the idea of bus performers tormenting him the whole ride here and gently reassured him, “That’s okay, you didn’t have to give him money.” He tried to stand up out of nowhere and almost fell again, so you caught him for the second time, his broad body crushing yours as you sat him back down. “Ah! Alright, let’s stay in the chair for a second.”Fuck.“What am I supposed to do?” you worried to yourself.“Send him back to the palace of course. Isn’t this like stealing an antique?”Jaehyun was coherent enough to scold Johnny for his snippy comment, “That is quite rude, I am not devoid of hearing.”True fondness raced to streak across your heart. He was such a cute human being no matter what he did.“I don’t want to get arrested again and put on a freaking tribunal. Is this a war crime?” Johnny was being such a baby. Weren’t war crimes, like, super unconstitutional Trump-esque things? The two of you saving the prince of America from getting hit by a car sounded like the exact opposite.Jaehyun piped up once more, “We are not in a time of war, so no.”“Thank you!” You were learning something new every fucking day, how about that.Before the argument over what to do with him continued, Jaehyun cleared his throat and his deep voice sounded much more confident after, “Lady Blueberry, please do not send me back to the palace.”Nothing had changed between you besides the fact that this iteration of your peculiar, emotionally connected conversations was happening in VBeach instead of in the palace. One heart-stopping gaze and you knew that Jaehyun was desperate to stick by your side, hoping to mend the wound you caused when you left as best as he could.“Do you think I give a fuck what happens to Douchey George Washington?” Johnny hissed in your ear. “Call the palace, send him back, put him in a museum, I don’t care! Just get him out of my house, it feels like I’m the next one to get cursed.”A hidden scene from your strange dream hit you with a vibrant blow - of you, in a dress dyed such a deep blue it was nearly purple, standing across from Johnny at a flower-lined altar. He was fidgeting with the collar of his matching jacket and not doing a good job of hiding his wink at the girl holding the end of your veil—“Whatever is that?” Jaehyun’s question sounded like it was coming from all the way back in Arlington.“What is what?”You looked over to see him with his nose pressed into the window as he scoped out something across the street. “That crimson-colored creature performing a strange little… dance on the other side of the road.”The fuck?Standing on your tiptoes to see past the stretch of his broad frame, you almost burst out laughing when you figured out what fascinated him, “The inflatable car dealership man? It’s to make people want to buy cars.”The inside of Jaehyun’s brain was such a fascinating place. You wanted to explore it endlessly.“Why?”Whoa, that was actually a good question.“I don’t know why! Customers think it’s funny and then their brain goes whoooo…” You flapped your arms around like the inflatable dude and the color started to come back to Jaehyun’s cheeks as he giggled. “….and they end up with a new car.”He pressed his hands into the glass to try and get closer. “May I see it?”“Sure. My apartment is in that direction, we can walk by it—”All of a sudden, Johnny pulled you into the side hallway stuffed so you could have a private conversation amongst his stash of DJ equipment, “You’re going to let a random man stay in your apartment?”“He's the prince of America!”“So? He’s still a man.”Weeks and weeks ago you would’ve been over the fucking moon to see the plain jealousy written into Johnny’s face. Now you were nothing but insulted, on your behalf and on behalf of the man in the living room, that he’d insinuate something like that. You scoffed back at him, “You’re not my husband. You’re not even my boyfriend.”If you wanted to go see the inflatable man with Jaehyun you could. Because you were still single. Because Johnny never did anything about it.You pointed a finger over at Jaehyun and ordered him first, “You, let’s go see your boy and go home,” then you flashed your middle finger at Johnny and growled, “You, you’re being fucking annoying and I don’t want to talk to you.”He was so pissed off at you, you were sure absence wouldn’t make the heart grow fonder this time.Jaehyun was strong enough to walk over on his own and give Johnny a hearty clap on the back... and you had to bite your lip to hold in a cackle when tears built in Johnny’s eyes as he put on a macho air and tried not to react in pain. Jaehyun couldn't care less, he just said seriously, “A generous extension of gratitude towards you for housing me temporarily, Strong John. I will never forget it.”He was a better person than you were.Johnny whined after you as you pushed Jaehyun towards the door, “Blue, come on, don't leave me hanging…”“Fuck off," you snapped.Finally, you were done with his bullshit.You made it out onto the sidewalk with Jaehyun at your side, a complete turnaround from where you thought this day would be going—he tried to cross the road into oncoming traffic. He tried to cross the road into oncoming traffic!The scream that tore through your lungs took you back to the day you got the phone call, “No, don’t!”He stopped with one foot on the pavement to sneak back and find out what was wrong, then grew concerned to see that you were definitely not okay. “Whatever is the matter?”Images flashed in your mind, of Jaehyun running around Arlington not having a clue what kind of danger he was in, and they quickly morphed into… memories you had of your dad crossing the streets in Williamsburg. How he made you wait for the light every time and look for cars. He always made you wait. But that morning, someone jaywalked at the wrong time and the car that swerved to miss them hit your dad's car instead.You screwed your eyes shut to force the world to stop spinning but it only felt like you were standing on solid ground again when Jaehyun’s warm hand curled around your bicep to steady you. You weren’t even in the car with your dad when it happened and it still affected you like this.When the sadness subsided, you had to get back to your most important job - making sure Jaehyun knew enough about insane modern-day drivers to not get hit by a car. “Check to see if the little blue man is telling you you can cross, then look both directions.”He was fascinated by the road sign explaining the different between the stop hand and the green GO man. He held out his palm the same way and nodded, then moved his body to match the stance of the GO man before he gave you another solemn nod.“I understand.”“Give me your hand and we’ll cross together,” you beckoned softly.You linked hands and felt the fleeting crest of warmth billow through the rest of your body when you were reminded of just how comfortably your fingers rested in his. Your cheeks started to burn when you saw the spark of red blush against his neck.As he was told, Jaehyun waited until the red hand switched to the little blue man and he squeezed your hand to make sure that you also saw. He stuck his head out to make sure no cars were moving on either lane of the road, then together, you walked out into the street and made it across to the sidewalk in front of your apartment building he didn’t realize was yours… without any incidents.He beamed with such glowy pride as he checked off another major accomplishment in the modern world, “We have traversed the road successfully.”“Great job. And look what’s waiting for us.”“The inflatable gentleman!” Jaehyun gasped with glee as he stared at it. “How has he grown so tall?! I cannot believe it!”He nearly broke his neck bending over backwards to get a good look at the entire floaty glory of that thing. You giggled away behind him, totally enchanted seeing the elegant prince out of his element like this.“Want a photo?” That was more of a selfish question than you’d intended.“Yes, I would very much like one,” he breathed.As he posed for the pic, Jaehyun looked so goofy and normal despite his mismatched modern-historical outfit. You didn’t even need to tell him what to do, he just started smiling and moving his arms to match the inflatable dude for the picture. But the best part of it was how alive and gorgeous he was, impossible to ignore that smile lighting up his face and his dimples-nose wrinkles combination just glowing. His fears and emptiness were gone after this one simple request was fulfilled.Well... you weren't sure if it was because his request was fulfilled or because you were the one who did it.He skipped back to you with such earnest energy and requested, “May we return tomorrow?”Shaking your head, you puinched Jaehyun lightly on the arm and reminded him, “You need to go back to the palace. They’re probably freaking out looking for you, you’re supposed to be getting ready for the ball!”The collective meltdown that was definitely happening in the palace right now could be enough to collapse the damn thing. You weren’t sure if Mark was going to make it out of there in one piece without being sacrificed to the gods or the horoscope crystals.Jaehyun’s pretty lips sunk into a ferocious little pout. “I do not want to.”“Why?”His dark gaze snatched you into his gravitational pull before he took another step closer, his captivating energy unchanged despite his struggles. His low voice curled into your ear with determination, “You must answer this. Why have you chosen to leave the palace for an eternity—”Your heart would not let you wait for him to finish. It expanded as far as it could go, to force your lungs into answering with a stretch of the truth, “For an eternity? I’m just here for a little bit. Na needed to come back home.”A surprised inhale caught in his throat - shaky, delicate, giving away more of his feelings than anything he could’ve said or done.“I wouldn’t leave for good without telling you that,” you fibbed some more. “I’m not that big of an asshole.”You only thought about never going back, you didn’t seriously consider it.You reflected the question back towards Jaehyun, “Why are you here? You need to tell me.”This man had not left the palace in three hundred years, then woke up and continued to exist in the little bubble you and Mark curated for him. And he had gone on just about the bravest journey anyone could, to what? Confirm that you weren’t abandoning him forever? After you had only ever talked about your real hometown once?Jaehyun must’ve sensed that you’d figured out the real reason why he was in VBeach, since he fumbled around for a fake answer, “I… I came because it is prudent for me to... to develop current knowledge regarding America from outside the palace.”He stared at you in a very intense way, then raised his eyebrows pointedly up and down and up and down, the worst of the habits he picked up from you and Nayeon.“Riiiiiiight, this is just a lesson in politics,” you pretended to buy his excuse. “Let me see what I can figure out.”He bowed his head in gratitude, yet did not stop smiling once.You were just served a delicious offering you weren’t sure you had the strength to deny: having Jaehyun to yourself, for an extended period of time and with not a single interrupting soul around. This scenario was obviously impossible to explain to palace security without the real details but you had a nuclear option tucked in your back pocket.You pulled out your phone and called the prince’s private hotline.“Palace of the United States of America, direct line to his royal highness Prince Jaehyun Jeong’s Chamber of Chancellors. This is Chancellor Marcus Lee the sixth speaking, how may I serve you today?”You took a deep breath and let it rip, “What’s up, Mmmmmmmmarky?”“Lady Chancellor? Is something wrong?” He sounded confused, which meant that he hadn’t yet gotten the news that you and the man of the hour had both conveniently disappeared. At the same time. But not together. Or kinda.“Would you mind putting his royal highness on the line for me?”“Right away.”Ignoring the idea that Mark did what you wanted because he had a vague idea of the deeper relationship you and the prince shared, you listened as he knocked and knocked, then called into the room, Your highness? Your highness?! There was a huge, unidentifiable crash and his freaked-out voice erupted over the speakers, “He’s missing. The prince is gone, he’s missing.”Deep breath x2 before you sheepishly responded, “Yeah………… about that.”Mark did not let up on the gas of his freakout, “Are you saying you know something about this?!”No, which was the most shocking thing. Jaehyun decided to complete this whole epic adventure on his own.“I thought it might be in the prince’s best interest if he experienced what regular life was like away from the palace.” What was a little light plagiarism when Jaehyun had already done the same to you? It was the perfect excuse to cover you both.“So you found it appropriate to smuggle him out of the palace without notice?! There is a ball tonight I've spent the whole morning preparing, have you lost your mind!”Shit.You swore that was gonna work, but when it didn't, you remembered that Mark was just as obsessed with Jaehyun’s security and happiness as you were. You had to slip through the cracks in his heart from a different angle.“Check your personal messages, dude.” You texted him the picture of Jaehyun and his new inflatable friend, which made it incredibly obvious how joyful and safe he was while with you. Then you waited with baited breath and a racing heart as Mark fumed on the other end for a couple seconds, then went silent, surely as he was taking in the picture.“How long will this go on?” he sighed in defeat.A shot of surprise slithered down your throat and made you cough hard.“A week, maybe? I’m not sure he’ll survive until then, but…” Mark did not appreciate your funny quip at all, he didn’t even exhale through his nose hard. So you mimicked the fancy way they spoke in hopes it’d help your point, “I was wondering if you could assist in formulating some explanation.”“You want me to lie for you?”“I want you to lie for him.”The desperate affection in your tone wasn’t a front you were putting on to convince Mark. He was more than well aware of your entanglement now after being tasked with delivering the pre-engagement bracelet to you. You hoped he could read between the lines and see that you were asking for space to savor this in private... so that the prince could then move on and marry whoever he wanted with a peaceful heart.Mark let out a sigh as loudly as he could to make his petty point, then caved like a fucking house of cards, “You will come here in a moment’s notice if I tell you to.”“Yeah, dude. Whatever you want."“Lady Chancellor.”“Yes, of course we will. Thank you,” you whispered appropriately.He hung up and a sudden rush of conflicting emotions stung against your eyes. You never would’ve expected Mark to hear you out like that, let alone shift his point of view to meet yours. But perhaps you had turned to the same page in the same chapter in the same book along the way. There was only one person you both cared about, after all.After you walked over to where Jaehyun was observing the massive oak with the same level of awe he had for the inflatable man, he seemed surprised you came out of that unscathed, “Chancellor Mark was satisfied with the details of my excursion?”You shrugged like that was the easiest thing in the world. “Absolutely, didn’t have a problem with it.”The corner of his lip turned up in a slight smirk before he leaned in and whispered, “I find that indubitably hard to believe. Regardless, I have had a pleasant time conversing with this dear gentleman whilst I waited.”He bowed to your favorite tree, probably as old as he was, and you couldn’t help but think you wanted to write down every ridiculous bit of him to save forever.You brought him into your apartment building and up the rickety ass stairs, but the more they crackled under your feet, the more nervous you grew. He’d inadvertently shat all over the state of Johnny’s apartment and while you and Nayeon had a joint commitment to the chore wheel, that wasn’t saying much.“Wait.” After you stopped him from going inside, Jaehyun made his eyes flutter in a mockingly slow blink to try and convince you he was tired. But your heart was going through a separate flutter of its own. “You have to promise to not make douchey comments about where me and Nayeon live. It’s not a palace, not even close.”You were well aware of your class differences the entire time, but hid it behind your confidence with help from the palace surroundings. And now here Jaehyun was, smack dab in the middle of the life that had built you, where there was no hiding just unsuited you were to being a princess… or anything other than the bitchy bottle girl you were.He leaned in close enough that your noses brushed in a flirty little dance that you’d missed, before posing his honest question, “What reason do I have to act meanly towards you?”Now that you thought about it… disregarding your minor tussles and the flirty banter, Jaehyun had never once said a word against you despite his many opportunities to.“Fine,” you whispered.He held your waist as you put the key in the door and once you felt your face roasting up with a blush, you thanked the universe that Nayeon had gone to see her shitty ass booty call, not ready at all for her fond mockery. But you started to feel soooooooooooo horribly bad instead, watching Jaehyun soak in the tiny inside of your apartment - the couch with the rip in the cushion, a refrigerator with a huge dent in it due to the bathroom door, complete lack of any personal or walking space.You were ashamed to the point that you wished your dad were there to comfort you....“This place is charming to an extent I lacked the means to anticipate,” he breathed in complete wonder, hypnotized by the windowsill Christmas lights, hung to cover up a crack you broke into it with a drunken cartwheel. “As if it was a storybook cottage for a princess.”Why did he have to use that word, then peek at you under the lazy, sexy sweep of his eyelashes to make sure you got his point? You got the point. It was a dumb point. A dumb, dumb, dumb, infuriatingly dumb and cute point.“Not a princess,” you denied him just to prove something to yourself. And yes, he was so deep into his crush on you that denying it didn’t break his smile. “A hot yet scary witch, maybe.”“Yes, of course.”He agreed to make you happy and reached for you then, his fingers brushing your spine with the intent to hold you and never let go. You got so nervous at the thought of kissing him, in this place that never was supposed to be your real home, that you automatically ducked away.And started babbling like he was checking into a hotel, “So, you can eat whatever you want, just don’t drink the water right out of the sink. I have nice water in here.” You kicked open the nearly-empty fridge to show off the water filter and make sure he didn’t poison himself with lead… then did your best to prevent him from experiencing anything rated R he didn't instigate, “And please, please make sure to knock on Nayeon’s door first. Towels are in a box under the couch, that metal cylinder in the corner makes a lot of noise at night, and you can use the radiator—”You turned around to make sure Jaehyun was listening and he wasn’t… because he was somehow fast asleep, sprawled across your bed in his outdoor clothes and drooling on your favorite pillow.Oh, well. At least he had money to pay for your laundry fees.You sunk down at the edge of the mattress, where you were laid up in despair only a few hours ago because you really fucking missed him, and that didn’t jolt him back into consciousness. Your skin prickled with the same familiar, velvet goosebumps, so sweetly satisfied that he was able to snatch some peaceful sleep while here with you.“You really came all the way to my house?” you whispered, still unable to believe it.He traveled all the way to VBeach after you had one intoxicated conversation in passing about it. If he hadn’t stumbled into your neighborhood by virtue of the bus stop being close by, you were sure he’d have walked the city the entire night trying to find you.Not even your hand squeezing his soft cheeks woke him up, nor you mocking him softly in his deep and elegant tone, “Yes, Lady Blueberry, I did.”“You can’t be doing that. You can’t,” you scolded his sleeping, angelic form and felt the stupidest tears billow into your eyes. “Why did you even come here.”You knew why.And you officially had a week to decide if you wanted to haul yourself out of this pit of feelings you’d been trapped by........ or sink all the way in. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You looked over to the other side of your bed and Jaehyun had the goofiest smile stuck on his face as he stared at the extra fairy lights you’d bought to hang in your room… after a trip to Walmart intended only to get him some pants that fit.He loved Walmart. You didn’t say a word to him about what that place really was.Your hand was caught behind his head on the pillow, so you tickled his ear to set yourself free and he giggled with such pure, free happiness. Several clashing feelings did serious damage to the center of your brain and you had to force yourself to remember that you weren’t going to feel guilty about any of this. You weren’t.“Was there a particular motivation behind your choices in furnishing your living area?” Jaehyun asked.You shrugged, not having thought much about the nuance of interior design before. “I wanted it to look less shitty.”“That is not true," he countered quickly.He turned over on the pillow, then used his devilish, dark gaze to confirm if you were keeping some huge secret from him. Like you said, there were many cracks and holes and imperfections that your landlord wasn’t supposed to ever see. What better way to hide that than pretending you were two girly girls who loved your cute light fixtures?But…. Jaehyun’s questions always got to you no matter what. It didn’t take long before you were blurting the real truth, “My room at my dad’s house used to look like this, it’s the only way I know how to decorate.”Your fingers trailed over the roof on your forearm as you thought about how that place was almost as small as this one was. Your dad used to tell you that the lights would make your room seem bigger, he helped you string up a different colored strand of them for every season and you never once wanted anything more.Jaehyun propped himself up on his arm, his muscles almost ripping out of the cheap white tee you’d also bought for him, and posed a separate question, “Whyever do you always wrap a falsehood in a joke and expect me to believe you.”Um. Was this conversation supposed to get deep out of nowhere?“I’m… not sure. It’s hard for me to be honest with anyone other than Na.” It was easier for you to keep your secrets tucked into the tiny space where you were laying, unable to be shared by anyone else.He brushed your cheek with his hand, more comfortable than ever being affectionate here. Then he said, so quietly, “It is imperative you seek solace in the honesty we share with one another.”Why?Because he was the prince of this country and it was a Class-A felony to lie to royalty? Or because of something stupider, like husbands and wives should be honest with each other or whatever the rules of marriage said.“Oh, I’m honest with you,” you chuckled, wry as ever.“Were you proceeding with honesty the evening you departed?”The string of star lights hung above Jaehyun's head started to fade into fuzzy brightness as you stared at his handsome face half-hidden in your pink pillowcase. You always thought you lied well and he just wasn’t perceptive, but that was never the case.Your tongue was stuck on words you couldn’t say, “I… I….”“Oh my fucking god, I’m in a crisis!” Nayeon dramatically swept into the apartment, tossed her bag on the floor, and began to pace around and mutter like an absolute lunatic, “I’m in a crisis, I’m in a massive fucking crisis 'cause I did something really stupid. Good, I think… but stupid. Really stupid.”Thank god her mental breakdown had kept her from noticing that your door was wide open and you weren’t alone—“With whom are you speaking? Myself or Lady Blueberry?”Never mind.Nayeon stopped in the middle of the living room and stared straight at where Jaehyun was sitting up to wave happily at her. It took her a moment to process and when it hit her, her freakout multiplied, “Oh my god?! Your highness, hello!” She glanced around the apartment to make sure palace ghosts hadn’t followed him, then was nosy as fuck, “You’re in our house? In Blue’s bed?”She shot you a certified WTF look and you held out a warning finger. “Do not even start. What were you talking about.”“I can’t…” She started, before her eyes made the barest motion in Jaehyun’s direction and she changed emphasis, “I can’t.”What the fuck happened? Something so private that she didn’t want the most oblivious sponge in the world to absorb it and quickly forget? But that was also somehow good-slash-okay enough that she wasn’t crying or heartbroken?“Resume your chin wagging, I will not reveal your secrets.” Jaeyhun held up his hand to swear the solemn promise of not being a gossip girlie, before he let his fingers drape down your arm so he could hold yours and squeeze. But once again… Nayeon was too in her head to notice.“Me and Hong are donezo,” she immediately blurted. “That’s why I didn’t come home, we argued all night.”Your heart shot out of your fucking asshole.“Are you shitting me?!” you screamed at the top of your lungs. Jaehyun yelped in reactive fear, “Whatever do you mean?!,” then stared straight at her ass and yours…... but not in a hot way, at all. His arm slipped around your torso to cradle you with genuine concern, which was so oddly hilarious when you thought about it.Nayeon waved him off the ledge with a funny grin and it was a relief (?) to hear her manage a giggle, “It’s a phrase! We’re not actually shitting.”He relaxed against your shoulder completely. Lol.“And how do we feel….?” In response to your probing question, Nayeon pulled out an airplane bottle of tequila right out of her bra. “Jesus, that bad?”You had to keep yourself from getting too excited that loser leech was officially out of your lives, not when the subtle sadness swirling around your best friend was obvious. Jaehyun didn’t even know what the bottle meant but he sensed her mood enough to climb off the bed - after a reassuring pat to your head - to go over and hug her.Nayeon let him smother her in a sweet embrace as she finished spilling her feelings to you, “I mean, breaking up with my childhood sweetheart didn’t feel fucking great, dude. But it didn’t feel wrong.”Funny, you could’ve said the same thing about cutting things off with Johnny yesterday.Then it hit you.“Fuck, you should’ve given me a heads up,” you groaned as the imminent stress headache started to hit. “You know they’re bitches about walk ins.”“Sorry. You’re the best,” Nayeon apologized without any genuine remorse.She ducked behind a still-confused Jaehyun so that you couldn’t hit her in annoyance. But she knew full well that nothing, not even her lack of planning, could stop the Sad Girls Club once it was in motion.

[9:48 pm] you: yo
[9:49 pm] sehuGE Loser: This is Craft Ur New Tattoo Parlor, Sehun speaking.
[9:49 pm] you: its me idiot and we’re texting
[9:52 pm] sehuGE Loser: wait r u srs
[9:53 pm] sehuGE Loser: u can’t just txt every time u n tht psycho wnt 2 skip the line
[9:53 pm] you: yes or no? not a hard q
[9:56 pm] sehuGE Loser: right now
[9:57 pm] you: thanks! ur not a total fucking loser!

Once he sent the screenshot of your confirmed appointment, you had to make sure Nayeon wasn't going to be too emotional to stick to the timeline, “We have to go now if you wanna go.”“Hell yeah, I wanna go!” Nayeon’s sad energy evaporated at the thought of your usual degenerate tradition… then, before you could stop her, she turned to Jaehyun and asked, “Your highness, do you want to go?”“Stop it,” you warned her under your breath.There was a reason why his tour of VBeach so far had been the car dealership and Walmart. You did not like the shit-eating grin on Nayeon's face face as she contemplated taking the prim and proper Crown Prince of America somewhere he never would’ve been caught dead in.Jaehyun shrugged, surprisingly open to the mystery encounter. “I am amenable, though I must confess I am not certain what you are discussing.”“Every time something shitty happens to us.....” Nayeon coughed a little when you shot her the nastiest look for using that word, then she made the proper changes, “Ahem, something bad happens to us… We get tattoos.”It started with the seagulls behind your ear a few weeks after your dad died, when there should’ve been a funeral you couldn’t afford. An older tattooist at a now-closed shop saw how upset you were, squinted hard at your ID that said sixteen instead of eighteen, and did a beautiful, almost painless job on your first little bit of forever. And morbidly enough, the tradition stuck for the bad things that were way less serious than a death - a hung jury for Nayeon, Johnny being an asshole to you, many frivolous tattoos when the dumb bitch duo pissed you off. Any free moment you had you’d drive straight from Williamsburg to VBeach and skip going home for the tattoo parlor.“A drawing on your skin that is permanent, yes. Sailors would have them.” Jaehyun gestured to your collarbone to make sure he was thinking of the right thing. “Such as the moons?”“Yup," she said. "But you don’t need to get moons, you can get whatever you want.”Jaehyun thought for a moment, then announced, “I will get the Mart of Wal as a tattoo!”Oh, uh…. Hmm. That wasn’t good.Nayeon used her diplomatic lawyering ability to move him away from that ridiculous idea, “In theory, you’re supposed to get something you love so much and want to have forever on you. But I just think tattoos look cool, so if that’s what you want, then. Yes.”He seemed to get what she was implying and switched it up, “I will get my beloved mother’s face, then.”“No!” You could not have Sehun looking up a random ass historical portrait just to do a chest piece! “People don’t really get tattoos of faces… or names… I mean they do, but it’s weird. Don’t do it.”Those kinds of tats were the kiss of death for whatever relationship they represented. You understood that Jaehyun’s family had already received that kiss as literally as possible, but with a potential magical curse still lingering over his head, you were going to take no chances.“For example, I get trees every time. They’re a symbol.” Nayeon rolled up her sleeve so he could see the maple branch bent around her elbow, before she moved your hair to uncover the pink and orange swatch on your neck that he was intimately familiar with. “Blue gets a snapshot of the horizon from the different places she’s been to.”The sunrise over the horizon on the last vacation you took with your dad, the moons projected on the horizon of your school planetarium, the roof of your house against the horizon view here in VBeach. The moments where you felt impossibly small and significant were the ones that you wanted to remember forever.“I understand.” Jaehyun glanced at you from behind the fringe of his bangs and the reflected honesty in his eyes made it seem like he had finally solved the riddles of your existence. He put an arm around Nayeon and solemnly proclaimed, “I have seen the inflatable man and the Mart of Wal, and slept in the little box-shaped dwelling. I will complete another chapter of my authentic Beaches of Virginia excursion by receiving my first tattoo.”And who were you two peasants to say no to the Crown Prince of America.After airplane bottles for you two and water in an old, abandoned one for Jaehyun, your group stumbled into the breezy summer night to walk the two blocks over to the tattoo parlor (and just in case, the club was one more block down... sue you for liking a short commute.) The vibes were fucking high. The tequila had a nice, warm grip on you, Nayeon was fucking single for the first time since you’d been friends, and Jaehyun smelled so good—He tried to hold your hand even when you were not crossing the street, like you'd been doing all day as just the two of you in bed. But you took your phone out on purpose so he couldn’t grab your fingers - you had barely swerved by having that conversation with Nayeon and you didn't think now was the best time.Clearly anxious to not be holding your hand and unable control himself because of it, Jaehyun began babbling to Nayeon directly so he didn’t have to look at you, “May I inquire as to why you have chosen to end your relationship with Mr. Hongseok?”Yeah, you wanted to know, too.Nayeon tiptoed around it as best she could, “I think I just want to date a person who… doesn’t feel the need to change me.”You could honestly burst into fucking tears. It was a sin that Hongsuck was trying to stop her from being a lawyer just so she could be his silly little girlfriend, a literal sin. He deserved jail time for that.“I have no doubt that you will find a suitable gentleman...” Jaehyun started comforting her with such soothing energy, then underlined it with an ironically perfect joke, “...or lady, as is appropriate in this era to do so.”He held her hand between both of his instead and you were such a goddamn idiot for feeling jealous.“Also, let’s be real. I just want to get married.”You almost tripped and fell right onto the dirty VBeach pavement when Nayeon said that out of nowhere. Shooting her a Whoa, what the fuck? look across Jaehyun’s body wasn’t even judgmental, it was pure surprise. You both knew full well she'd never cared for marriage despite her long-term relationship, she was the second founding member of the Fuck a Spouse club after you.“Don’t give me that look,” Nayeon scoffed. “Just because you’re all weird about it.”“For good reason!” The one and only marriage you’d been a witness to ended so horribly that you were still begging the scars to heal. Not exactly the brightest indicator for your future.She rolled her eyes at your internal turmoil and said in such a blasé tone, “You’re not going to turn into someone’s evil stepmother. You’re going to marry Prince Charming and live happily ever after.”She topped it off with a dramatic hand flourish right towards Jaehyun, who had been pretending to be (or maybe actually was) tuned out, to respect the privacy of your gossiping. But as soon as he heard the word prince in some contextual regard to you, he was tuned the fuck back in.“Whatever did you say?” he breathed, eyes finally floating back towards yours.Nope! Nothing!Your small neighborhood saved the hell out of you, since you made it to the entryway of C.U.N. T…attoo Parlor before you were forced to make up some shitty response to throw him off. And then you had more pressing things to deal with than getting in your own head about whatever happily ever after meant.It was so fucking hilarious to see Jaehyun in the middle of the grungy darkness, wearing the crisp white tee he cuffed himself and the jeans he pleated, standing at attention like this was a military tribunal and not VBeach’s shittiest (yet most talented!) tattoo shop. It was even more hilarious how his body started lightly swaying to the aggressive nobody SoundCloud rapper they were blasting over the speakers. Beethoven was def shitting himself watching this.Nayeon hollered and banged on the front desk to get everyone’s attention, “We’re here, let’s get this shit on the road!” Sehun flashed his middle finger out from where he’d hidden in the other room after seeing you through the window. You heard a yelp, knew that Suho had pinched his ear in scolding, and your sort-of friend emerged a second later. His signature bitchy eyebrows flaring was a lead in to his bitchiness, “A hello would be nice.”Jaehyun demonstrated proper mastery of his lessons when he immediately used, “Yo,” to acknowledge the other man.Correct, Sehun was not a Greetings guy.Sehun took one look at the elegant person with you - almost as tall as he was, not a tattoo or stank face in sight plus the most majestic hair possible - then laughed out loud, “John get a makeover or something? Who’s your friend?”Damn. The over/under on how long it took for your entire social circle to discover you were frolicking around with someone new was about… three minutes.Nayeon handled business as she always did, “Shut the fuck up. Do you want us to leave or not?”“Chairs one, two, and three," he droned.Bitch.Jaehyun was the most polite out of you since he had no beef with the man. He bowed to Sehun and made sure to say, “Thank you very much, kind gentleman,” even as you pulled him away to have a private conversation.You still couldn’t believe you were actually doing this, but you figured you should give him the help you didn’t have your first time.“Think about what you want and tell that man with the long hair over there. He’ll help you.” Suho was the kindest, oldest member of the crew and almost always did your designs whenever you were here. Which meant you were making a big sacrifice letting Jaehyun have him for tonight. “Remember, no Walmart tattoos, faces, names, curse words, weapons…”He nodded. “I understand. Do not fret.”“Also, you may want to do it somewhere people can’t see easily.” You had to keep going and cover all your bases, just in case you weren’t there to help him hide it from Mark and the palace workers, “And don’t make it too big, and—”“Do not fret.”Jaehyun held your chin in his hand and squeezed it a little so the words stopped falling out of your mouth. It was completely insane for you to be convinced of this because he listened to your tattoo instructions, but… you realized you trusted him. Which was something so fucking rare it stole the air out of your fucking lungs.Nayeon watched with obvious curiosity as the moment went on a little too long, then she did you a favor by grabbing Jaehyun away, “Come on, Jae. We’ll do this together!”"What do you want this time, dude? Dude? Are you listening?"You watched Jaehyun and Nayeon giggle at each other as she showed him the big book of stencils and it felt like the happiest, most normal evening you could’ve spent, together with the people you…………….. cared for the most.“Blue, helloooo? What do you want this time?”Sehun had a thousand questions written over his face and you were going to ignore all of them except one.“Yeah, I know," you grunted. "I’ll draw you a picture.”It wasn’t something you needed to think about or take time to decide on - the image had hidden in a pretty spot of your unconscious from the moment you saw it and waited patiently until you were ready to make it a permanent part of you.You roughly sketched it out on a piece of paper and Sehun was surprised at how simple it was, “That’s it? Where even is this?”“None of your business…” A honking bit of laughter caught your attention and you caught Suho doing a goofy little dance by Jaehyun in the chair, his classic distraction technique for first-timers while he got the…. massive ink needle ready. You turned back to Sehun in a hurry, feeling every bit of stress possible in your body push out this stupid thought, “Can I ask you a hypothetical question? Do you think tattoo ink would’ve killed a colonial child?”Sure, sailors got tattoos back in the day or whatever but…. you weren’t accidentally going to kill the fragile and delicate last prince of America right now, were you?Sehun looked at you like you were insane. “What the hell is a colonial child?”Stress spiked to panic deep in your head and chest. “Oh, no, maybe we shouldn't—”“It is starting, goodness!”Shit.Shit! Why did you think this was a good idea?! Why did you let Nayeon tempt him into doing this?!“Look at him, dude’s loving it!” Nayeon laughed happily.Jaehyun had a huge smile on his face and was unable to take his eyes off of Suho precisely detailing whatever he’d asked for on his ft arm. He wasn’t crying, dissolved into a puddle of bones and pretty hair, or, most importantly, asleep again. You expected some high-level freakout but all you got was some fascinated giggling, “It feels as if I am getting a painful bit of scratching done! Incredible what these tools do!”Huh. Who would've thought.Finally relaxed knowing you hadn't killed him, you went to sit in the last empty chair, beside Seulgi already working on a bare-torso’d Nayeon, then paused to remind Jaehyun gently, “You can tell them if you want to stop.”He wasn’t bound by law or god or anything to finish it, lol.“No, I will continue at all costs. A prince must be brave,” Jaehyun promised.Sehun and Suho shared a secret glance with each other across the shop, like Who the fuck is this person? But when you and Nayeon fought back with the exact same glare at the exact same time, they shut up knowing they wouldn’t have a good time fighting against you.Anyways.Tattoos were nothing to you anymore.The first time was a unemotional daze, but the second made you cry until you passed out because the aftermath of the pain mimicked the agony your soul was hanging onto. But as the years passed and you continued inking the story of your life across your skin, the prickling ache that came with the first press of the needle was a welcome one…  reminder that you’d lived something worth remembering.You laid there on the chair, happy to be face down so your heart was hidden, and thought about experiencing every single emotion in the human understanding while standing out on the palace balcony with Jaehyun. Yes, you felt impossibly small and significant the night of the party, the signatures of a Tattoo Moment for sure.And for the first time ever, you didn’t feel like you were also desperately alone.After Sehun had been working on your design for a while, you felt Nayeon squeeze your hand and call for your attention, “Helloooooooo? Let me in there.” Getting tattoos together typically involved a lot of drinking and shit talking, so your silence must’ve been to an unusual level if it'd bothered her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me and Hong. It’s more than what I said, I just am… not ready to talk about it yet.”“It’s not that,” you whispered.It was that. Specifically her monologue about wanting to date someone who didn't feel obliged to change her, plus the whiplash of her confession that she wanted to be married. Kinda hard not to feel like that was reflected in yourself.“What is it, then?”“Everything is just… confusing right now.”So fucking confusing. More than ever.You and Nayeon had long mastered having a conversation without your tattoo artists knowing, so she mouthed at no volume, With Johnny?Just as Jaehyun called from across the room, “Lady Blueberry!”Nope!You couldn’t look up or risk damaging Sehun’s work on your tattoo but you called back, “I’m here! Are you okay?”“I am quite enjoying myself!” Jaehyun shouted at the top of his lungs, thinking you wouldn’t be able to hear with all the noise. “I found it imperative that you knew!”“Thank you for telling me! Carry on!” You waved a hand and hoped that he could see that you were pleased he was pleased.And he was just so goddamn… cute.......................................................................Despite Nayeon resuming the gossip sesh in an almost unintelligible whisper, you could still pick up her smartass undertone, “You know what I’m confused about? How I found the literal prince of this country in your bed an hour ago.”Before she’d even finished, you were already trying to deny it, “He wasn’t in my bed that way.”He wasn’t!You didn’t even sleep in the bed together the night before. You slept on the shitty couch, then found him passed out by the window in the morning where he’d apaprently crawled to watch the morning traffic officers direct the cars!“So you’re telling me that nothing, literal nothing has ever happened between the two of you?” You could not control your face no matter what you did. Your definitely-kissed mouth twisting gave your secrets away to a shocked Nayeon, “Oh my god, Blue?!”“Fine, we made out!” you exclaimed as quietly-loudly as you could, before you had to remind her of something else. “We’ve made out!”There was a reason why your mantra was that kisses didn’t matter! Because they didn’t!"It was a peck when we were nineteen and drunk at Pride!” Nayeon shot that down with no effort whatsoever. “And by the way you’re acting, that is not just what you did.”Like your body was destined to betray you, you were plagued with an endless reel of hot flashes - against your throat, your waist, your thighs, every place he touched with those gorgeous hands of his.“We didn’t have sex,” you mumbled, hoping that the whir of the tattoo gun would drown it out.“Classic virgin code for you did other stuff. I wonder what sucking three-hundred-year-old dick is like, can you tell me?” she sarcastically wondered, then stared right at your lips.You felt the tips of your ears burn in a symmetrical way to way his always did. It was so over for you.“Imagine you as a fucking princess, Blue. Hilarious.”Nayeon took it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far with that comment, so you made sure she saw how serious your face was when you hissed, “That is not what this is.”He wasn’t picking you, nor could he actually pick you. The whole point of Mark allowing this trip to happen in the first place was because, you’re pretty sure, he knew this scenario could never happen and was letting you have one final week of peace. The image of you as a princess was a hilarious one, sure, but not one that could ever come true.Nayeon dug to the center of your feelings in a really rude way, “You’re not dropping that DJ dick you’ve been in love with for any random dick. His highness’s dick is not any random dick.”“Stop saying dick.” You needed her to stop, you could feel the tattoo needle flinch against your skin every time Sehun heard the word and strained to figure out what you were talking about.“Dick,” she snipped like a loser.“That’s really not what this is, Na. Just get your fucking tattoo.”You put your forehead back down on the seat, your subtle sign that you were done talking, and sunk back into the buzz-filled silence. The world went still and a great big cyclone of existential crisis swallowed you up as the tattoo formed across your neck, knowing what it meant in the grand scheme of things.You’d convinced yourself all these years that you were in love with Johnny, that he was who you were meant to be with. But you still hadn’t ever been in a real relationship, you weren’t even technically exclusive. That meant it was fine for you to go mess around with whoever you wanted. But you didn’t want to mess around with someone else, maybe the perfect someone else, just to go back to the unserious DJ fuckboy at the end of the day. It was far more serious than that…. and your someone else deserved better.Even if he was also a well-documented historical fuckboy.But he wasn’t anymore.Taking the Megabus to go see one (1) girl was pretty much the opposite.Sometime later, after Sehun had cleaned off his tracings and let out a satisfied exhale at the completed pattern, you heard footsteps hurry your way while you were waiting for the ink to dry under your bandage. Jean-clad legs appeared right in front of you, yet you couldn’t fully turn over to see Jaehyun's face or what he’d gotten until the wrappings had settled. That didn’t bother him at all, his fingers patted the back of your hair in hello before he wondered, “Lady Nayeon, what did you select?”She shook her head no with a tiny, cheeky smile. “It’s not like I don’t want you to see, but it’s an oak leaf on the side of my… breast...” Of course she got a tattoo on her tits, there was no better way to make Hongsuckass feel like shit— “...and I think there are other breasts you’d prefer seeing.”The flush immediately skipped Jaehyun’s neck and went right to his ears when he accidentally-on purpose let his eyes wander your way.“I’m killing you!” you hissed at her.Why would she say that! He hadn’t even seen them! Technically!At least she fucking changed the subject so that he could stop spluttering like an idiot, “What did you get, dude?”Jaehyun cleared his throat and got his shit together to announce, “I am proud to show off my first ever permanent tattoo image.”He held out his strong forearm and under the shiny bandage was a tiny, boomerang-shaped curve in the crook of his elbow, right where his veins pulsed with his heartbeat.Nayeon was trying her best to be polite when she said, “That is nice, Jae. Very cool,” but you could tell she had no idea how to respond.What the fuck was that, though?What did he waste this wild moment of freedom on? You gave him very clear instructions on what to do that you swore he'd follow.Jaehyun’s eyes formed a glittering galaxy of their own as he explained straight to your shaky outline, “It is the shape of the crease that appears by the right side of your mouth.”Your heart pounded so hard it felt like it blasted out your chest and eardrums at the same time.“What?” you whispered.He got……………………………………………. he got a tattoo of your wrinkle?“Well, I gotta go!” Nayeon’s scheming little comment vaguely registered in your brain.But your eyes were glued to the exact outline of the wrinkle, the wrinkle you saw every day in the mirror, permanently marked against Jaehyun's pale skin. Every time you blinked it grew bolder in your vision, daring you to acknowledge it with the affection it deserved.Nayeon hit your head to get you to pay attention and you snapped at her, “What?!” As her fingers closed in a circle that she lewdly wiggled in front of her lips and she mouthed Three-hundred-year old blow job, the embarrassment raged out of you, “I hate you. I really do,” before you mumbled at Jaehyun without looking him in the eye, “We’ve gotta get out of here, too.”You needed to have your mental breakdown in private.Jaehyun bowed to Suho then shook his hand with much enthusiasm and praise, “Generous gratitude extended to you, elderly artist of tattoos. Michelangelo must envy your talent.”Suho laughed so fondly at him that your stupid brain drew up the idea of bringing Jaehyun here for another tattoo in the future, just so you could have this much fun again. Which, of course, was so fucking off limits it wasn’t even funny.“Okay, enough,” you grumbled and pulled Jaehyun away by his tee as Suho tried to sneak a selfie of the two of them. You headed right to the exit with him in tow and didn’t even bother stopping to grunt, “Thanks, or whatever,” to a veeeerrrryyyyy intrigued Sehun.“This was weird!” he called after your retreating backs.You could only imagine the stories Johnny was going to be told in their house tonight. That smile-wrinkle-tattoo craziness at the end that Sehun definitely overheard already had you on edge—Jaehyun grabbed your hand before you crossed into the street without thinking or looking. The crazed look in his eyes made it clear that your lesson had been well-taught, which in turn spiked the affection-laced adrenaline back into your veins.“You cannot cross without me. Please,” he almost begged.You weren’t quite sure if Jaehyun was extremely passionate about road safety or if there was something more going on here.“Fine," you caved.Once your hands were linked, you felt the exact moment he settled into relaxed relief. But your emotions were running fucking wild now. You didn’t let go of his hand, however, you were so stuck in your own thoughts that you walked back to the apartment in complete silence. His breathing got louder every so often like he kept trying to say something, but each time you heard, you would just speed up so you could kinda pretend that you didn’t.Jaehyun lasted about two seconds inside your aparetment - where Nayeon was already in her room, door closed, blasting her favorite sad song (Get Low by Lil Jon) - before he broke completely, “Have I upset you in some manner?”“Huh? No.” You were so dazed by how he was so… thoughtful with everything he did.“Then why do you seem… I cannot find the word—”“Why exactly did you get my wrinkle tattooed on you?!” you burst out.You hated that thing so much, but hated yourself more for hating it because your dad always called it the prettiest thing about you.Jaehyun stepped in to you and you stepped away, he did it again and your back hit the doorframe to your room. When you had nowhere left to go, you just gave in and let him get way too impossibly close. His thumb softly pressed into the wrinkle of the hour and he murmured, “You instructed me to select something I would desire to have for an eternity on me. This appears by your mouth when you smile and I do not wish to ever forget the sight of it.”After a lifetime of people making jokes about the wrinkle popping out when you frowned, he only ever saw it when you smiled.“What permanent tattoo image did you receive?” Jaehyun asked with particular care, afraid he might react emotionally to however you answered.A terrifying storm of strange neediness attacked your heart as you turned around and lifted your ponytail, to show him the tattoo on the back of your neck of……the gentle curve of stars on the horizon the night that you first kissed.He didn’t touch you, but you could feel every breath of his wisp across your tender, bandaged skin. “This is exquisite. Wherever is this located?”Nayeon never should’ve told him your collection of tattoos was based on the horizon views at the locations that meant the most to you. That dumb bitch. You owed her everything for that.“The palace,” you whispered.The atmosphere collapsed straight into where he was standing. “That is… the view of the sky from the palace?”“Yes.”“Why?”You glanced over your shoulder to discover that his pretty eyes were flooded with tears… no, those were tears in your eyes. Born from the horrible thought that one day the tattoo on your neck might be the only memory of him you had left.“I didn’t want to forget, Jae," you murmured back.Jaehyun leaned in to kiss you, no hesitation left in him to fight against the visible reassurance and affection guiding his actions. You stopped him with a gentle hand against his chest and your eyes screwed shut as your fear really took over, “I can’t. I know we already did things, but we shouldn’t have, because…”He challenged you to make your denial as clear as possible, “You cannot or you do not want to?”But you were ready for this, “You can’t.”You weren’t a part of the proceedings and had denied being a part of them with everything you had.Jaehyun’s chest puffed out with all the princely pride he could muster and his arrogant words followed, “I can do whatever I please,” before his eyes softened into you at the center of his world. “However, only if it pleases you.”You wanted to kiss him, you wanted to do more, you wanted everything. You wanted to lie in your tiny bed and give him the privilege of knowing how every tattoo on your body formed the expanse of your empty life.Your thumb ran over the bandage on his arm and you caved like you’d never caved before, “Just a kiss. Just one.”He kissed you as soon as that final exhale departed from your mouth, his lips moving carefully to fill the spaces between yours with delicate, measured, passion. At first you thought it was because he was afraid to damage you, or damage the moment, by not conveying exactly how he felt within that slip of his lips.But it was so Jaehyun had enough self-control left to stop and profess, “I admire you deeply.”Wait. Was this how they said… that back then?Based on your dad’s research and the way Jaehyun talked, you expected it to be this epic fucking profession, like Shakespearean and shit. But maybe not. There was also no way he would be saying that to you in the first place.Which meant you felt safe enough to reciprocate, “Same, duh,” even if it wasn’t your most eloquent moment.It felt too childish to hit him with the I like you, even though saying it to yourself made you quake down to your bones with how deep and honest it felt.“Are you saying so with honesty?” Jaehyun’s entire face sparkled with the challenge and you hated feeling like you could get used to this.“Maybe.”You kissed him first to prove your point, like he always asked for and to push the boundaries on just one kiss. Your lips ached with how hard you pressed them into his, you wanted to show him he didn’t need to be delicate, not when the feelings had already flattened you completely. And once he got your lovesick little hint, he wrapped his arm around your waist - you could feel the press of his bandage into your bare spine - and crushed his mouth against yours.He still managed kiss you across the line of explicitly hot and emotionally torturous - first with his lips sliding across yours to mimic exactly how his tongue was going to drape against your tongue once it had snuck through your kisses. But when the hot outline of his mouth desperately melded into yours and kept getting caught up in your longing exhales more than the actual act of kissing, you knew this was going to be impossible to forget, a lewd little tattoo of its own into your brain. As he licked the corner of your mouth and dipped into another sweet kiss, he gently moved the flimsy straps of your tank top…. upwards, so that they wouldn’t fall off.You wanted to give in to all of it, all of him.“We can only kiss,” you reminded him through a breathless gasp instead. “And we can only kiss here.”Once Jaehyun got it in his head that he could kiss you all over VBeach with no consequences - like it was a part of his kingdom and you sat on a throne next to him you couldn't occupy - he was going to try the same if you ever returned back to the palace in Arlington. When, it had to be when, not if.His voice dipped to the apex of its tantalizing deepness, “Share the bed with me this evening.”“Jaehyun…”You’d been doing will-they-won’t-they-fuck choreography around each other from the day you met, but your relationship had evolved to the point where that couldn’t just… happen. You had finally realized you were unwilling to accept your first time being so craven and casual.“I am not the prince when we are in this space together.” Jaehyun shyly showed off the outfit that made him look like any normal boy you’d flirt with in a bar. “Please share the bed with me.”“A pillow in between us.” Lame as fuck and so virginal of you, but you had to be protected somehow.“We intertwine hands over it,” he countered.Why couldn’t he have lost his intelligence during the coma, too? He was way too smart for your own damn good.You lost this fucking game with him yet again, “Fine.”His nose wrinkled from top to bottom with the swell of his happy smile and he kissed you again, soft and sweet and victorious, just a… boyfriend kissing his girlfriend before bed.And you had no idea what you had just started. — Jaehyun kept one hand on his tattoo under the brunch table, like he could feel your smile through the markings.“Remind me to re-do your bandage after brunch.” You’d swapped it out this morning for a fresh one like you knew you should. But the haze of shadowed looks and flustered exhales that came when he pulled you to sit in his lap while doing so had you feeling unsure if you’d fixed it properly. “Better to be safe than sorry.”Colonial child rules and all…“I will do yours in return.” His fingers fluttered over your neck and your entire spine was covered with the worst of the Jaehyun-induced goosebumps. "It is my duty as your—”Nayeon appeared at the worst/best possible time with the biggest fucking pitcher of mimosa you’d ever seen. She was still stuck on her rollercoaster of feelings, unaware that you'd hit the warily blissful peak of your own, “I ordered us bottomless, also known as infinite drinks of champagne mixed with the juice of the orange. Surprise, you’re welcome, we need it.”Right, the drama of the weekend was the fact that HongsucksAss was a dead man walking, not anything that may or may not have happened in your tiny twin bed last night. Hence why Jaehyun’s VBeach lesson of the day was Bitches Go Brunching and not… more of what you’d been doing.“You know I can’t afford that.” BGB was usually one mimosa plus a plate of food to share, not the whole bar’s worth!Nayeon would always pay for these things, but it was the principle of it.“I will foot the charge,” Jaehyun cut in, patting your leg reassuringly under the table. When you shot him an incredulous look, he only smiled like it was amusing and doubled down, “We shall both partake, Lady Nayeon, thank you very much.”He couldn’t start buying you things, too. That was arguably worse than anything he’d done…..................... because that dipped into boyfriend territory.“You are very welcome, your highness.” You just knew that Nayeon’s lecherous grin was going to lead to some bullshit, “And what did you two cuties get up to last night?”Nothing, nothing at all.You and Jaehyun didn’t fall asleep staring at each other, half-covered by your pillow barrier with your fingers firmly interlocked. You didn’t stretch out in the middle of the night to find him carefully spooning you and the pillow with your hands still somehow intertwined. You didn’t stay in his arms until the sun peeked through your blind-covered windows and you could feel him tracing the length of your whale tattoo up to your newest one.And you definitely didn’t let him kiss you good morning which definitely didn’t become making out in your pillows until it was time to get ready for brunch.None of that happened!“I thought about how fucking weird it was that we all got tattoos together, then slept,” you blabbered the second Jaehyun opened his mouth, knowing he was going to be brutally honest.She handed you a full glass of mimosa and wondered, “You never told me what you got anyways.”You made the mistake of taking the biggest chug possible right at that moment, giving you no chance to stop Jaehyun from announcing it for you, “A view of the stars from the palace.”You’d both gotten tattoos about each other without having a discussion about it. Supremely fucked up and disgustingly romantic at the same time.“Oh really? I wonder what inspired that?” Nayeon shot Jaehyun a sweet smile, before she made dirty eye contact with you. You could hear the snotty laughter in her soundless, Three-hundred-year-old blow job?“Go to hell,” you muttered, before chugging your mimosa harder.If the pillow hadn’t been keeping guard over you, there was a non-zero chance you would’ve had an answer for her. Oops.She put an arm on Jaehyun’s shoulder and redirected his attention, thank god, “Are you enjoying your mimosa in glorious Virginia Beach?”“Very much so. I feel well suited to this life,” he sighed happily.That was the most bittersweet thing for him to say… since it made you realize Jaehyun had no idea how fleeting and temporary this thing was. Did he think he was going to stay with you forever?“You should stay with us forever,” Nayeon said what you were just thinking. “I’m sure we could find something for you to do.”You didn’t acknowledge her inappropriate comment because the bandage at the back of your neck began to itch with phantom pain, an unpleasant manifestation of reality. You had to do everything you could to ignore these heart-twisting thoughts of the end, especially now while together in the sunshine of this beautiful day. Later, when he was asleep and you were alone again, you’d let them consume you.Jaehyun didn’t get the joke, he took her suggestion literally instead, “I could be another inflatable man.”Cute.She lifted her glass in a cheers, happy to support him in whatever he wanted.You did your duty as his palace chancellor even still, shooing him away from the idea as fast as you could, “No, you actually have an education.”You were pretty sure your dad’s journal said the school he went to became UPenn, plus now he wasn’t really allowed to have an actual job other than prince, so…“I am happy to drink the orange mixture as my profession. So long as you are also there with me.” Jaehyun whispered the last part of his sentence only to you and his hand reached to stroke the back of your neck gently, sending the pain faaaar away.You didn’t tell him to move it, not when his fingers trailed to hold the crook of your shoulder, not when Nayeon’s eyebrows lifted, not after your anxiety towards public displays kicked in. It felt too good.Exactly like it happened at the tattoo shop, the two of them got up to order more treats from the bar and you stayed behind to watch them laugh together. They were friendlier than Nayeon and Johnny had ever been, despite their close association for years, and you truly had no idea what to make of it. Part of you felt like you were stupidly pretending to be someone you weren’t, yet this was also more real than anything you’d ever felt before—“Honestly, Lady Chancellor, could you please stop acting like the entire world revolves around your whims? I had to traverse half the city to find where you’d run to.”One second you were watching Lady Eunbi stare at you like you’d committed a crime against her and the next you were hugging her hard? Like you actually cared about each other?“What the fuck? Lady Eunbi?” You found yourself petting her bob and laughing at the same time, “Good morning to you too, friend!”What kind of magic curse was this…………………….“Speaking of friend.” She pulled away and was visibly nervous out of the blue, something you’d never seen on her. “Have you heard from Nayeon lately? She hasn’t returned any of my...”“Yo, I got passion fruit and dragon fruit too, Jae convinced me. He’s getting the—” Nayeon stumbled when she saw who you were with and caught herself on the table with the two new mimosa pitchers trapped under her armpits. “Eunbi?”“Nayeon?”They stared at each other for a second that stretched so long you thought you were the one intruding on their hangout. Weird.Then Nayeon… squealed, “Hey, girl! What are you doing here in VBeach?! Did you want a bottomless mimosa?”She was acting weird as fuck, not just weird. She never squealed.“But they have bottoms,” Lady Eunbi replied and vaguely gestured to the glasses on the table without looking away from Nayeon.What the fuck was this bitch talking about? Of course you knew glass cups had bottoms, but that wasn’t what bottomless meant? They were both acting like they’d gotten bonked in the head and hard.Lady Eunbi was obviously not here to debate the technical definition of bottomless brunch, you saw tears in her eyes as she mumbled to your best friend, “You left without saying goodbye and I…”“Whomst left without imparting a final greeting?”She dropped into a curtsy the second she heard Jaehyun’s voice. “Your highness.”He didn’t bow back, now completely stuck in Jae of VBeach mode instead of prince mode. He just held out a plate of fries and babbled in her face, “Greetings, Lady Eunbi. I have small potatoes shaped like the curl of a pig’s tail! Would you care for one?”She awkwardly plucked a curly fry off the top and grimaced while choking it down. You swore someone could bottle this strange interaction up and make one hell of a drug out of it.“Um. I was just saying that I was surprised you left the palace without any warning…” Lady Eunbi did not seem like she had her shit together, she was all over the place despite trying to sound calm, “We were told you had chosen to postpone the ball and take the week to relax and ponder your future. I came all the way here to… to find you and understand the truth.”Did she just lie? How would she have known he’d be here with you? And for some strange reason, you swore she was talking about Nayeon before she changed it around when Jaehyun interrupted.“It is the truth,” Jaehyun said simply. “That is what I am here doing.”Your theory that he’d formed the wrong conclusions about everything that was happening started to lurk over your heart again.“Don’t be a bitch. We can be haters later,” Nayeon whispered in your ear, anticipating that you were going to say something rude.But you had nothing to stay, still so baffled by how this reunion was playing out. Seriously, you had no idea why she was acting this weird. Even more so when the four of you sat down at the table like the fucked up Brady Bunch and her knee would not stop jittering into yours.Lady Eunbi was still focused on Nayeon, “Why aren’t you at work? Shouldn’t your firm have cases or something?”Huh?!“She hasn’t been a lawyer in like six months. Her boyfriend doesn’t want her to be," you blabbed before Nayeon could dodge it. At least you could be open about your hatred for HongsucksMegaAss now, instead of letting it out in random spurts of the worst kind of edging.Lady Eunbi - wait, under the jurisdiction of VBeach she was just Eunbi... Eunbi couldn’t’ve been more disgusted. Lmao.Nayeon flashed you the middle finger and Jaehyun and Eunbi were half-appalled, half-surprised that you could do that in the open here. Then she haughtily corrected your statement, “My boyfriend and I broke up and day drinking is just what you do in real people world when this happens.”“You… broke up?” Eunbi blurted and murmured at the same time, like her body couldn’t figure out how it wanted to respond.“Yeah, I was done with his lame ass, so I ended it!” Nayeon was all chirpy again, she certainly didn’t seem as upset as she’d been yesterday… huh.“Sorry.” Eunbi also seemed like she was saying sorry for the sake of saying it, before she turned to you with a reflective question. “Did you break up with Johnny as well?"Hm. Well. About that........“Whatever is that establishment across the road?!” Jaehyun interrupted out of nowhere, sensing that this wasn't a topic you wanted to delve into. “With the columnage that appears as if it was the outside of a palace? I would very much be pleased if we could visit.”You peeked across the neighborhood square, saw the intimidating marble structure of D.O’s staring you down, and knew you could not let Jaehyun get any ideas. But Nayeon dangled the metaphorical carrot in front of a bunny starved for high-class things, “That’s, like, the best steakhouse in the city. A place that sells very fancy pieces of beef and other good food.”“I will take care of the cost,” Jaehyun begged you in his whiny little voice, his subtle plea to get his way.“No," you said.The worst part about D.O’s wasn’t that it was a place that literally robbed you blind for a tiny piece of meat. It was that D.O’s was a place you only went to if you were going on the most romantic date possible... hence why Johnny had no interest in ever going there over the course of your whatevership.“As you wish.” Jaehyun didn’t push, the respectful idiot he was— “Lady Eunbi, Lady Nayeon, would you like to accompany me instead?”He was inviting them instead?! Was he trying to piss you off?!Nayeon screamed in excitement, not having been spoiled to that level by Hongseok either, “Yes, absolutely, yes! Oh my fucking god, yes.”Eunbi was much more skeptical, “I’m not sure if it’s for me.”“NoT sUrE iF iT’s FoR mE, please. Don’t turn your nose that high up in the air.” Nayeon reached over to Eunbi’s face, gently pushed it down, and you braced yourself for the catfight. But to your surprise… the other woman just laughed, high and light - maybe the first time you’d seen a real expression of joy on her face - then she pushed Nayeon's face back in the exact same way. That was.... friendly? Friendly definitely wasn't the right word but you couldn't put your finger on it.“Fancy places to eat like that don’t have open tables for, like, a year in advance,” you reminded Nayeon loudly and obviously, so Jaehyun could understand the context for himself.You weren't trying to outright rain on his parade, but you were going to at least sprinkle him a little for daring to go without you.He shrugged his shoulders with arrogant prince energy and stated with confidence, “They will allow me to enter.”Oooooooooooooooooookay. Whatever you say, dude.“Have you been before? Is that why you don’t want to come?” Eunbi asked.You weren’t expecting goddamn D.O’s to brew so much stress in your brain. “I, uh….”With no warning, Nayeon threw you under the fucking bus, “Johnny has a show tonight and she still feels an obligation to go. Or not. Who knows if she still likes him.”You hadn’t spoken to Johnny since the day you rescued Jaehyun and definitely weren’t wasting money at his fuckass show or going back to No Club Tougher just to get roped into a bottle serving shift you didn’t want. And you sure as hell didn't like him like that anymore. She was stirring the fucking pot like she did with the Canadian prince, hoping it'd end with you somehow going on this date with Jaehyun like you were supposed to. But she had apparently forgotten you had a real reason behind your hesitation in attending a romantic meal that averaged over two hundred dollars a person.... that wasn't just the fact it was two hundred dollars a person.Jaehyun’s hand went over his tattoo again and his voice got all quiet, “I understand.”You had never wanted him to understand something less.But how could you get Jaehyun to understand it wasn't lingering feelings for your ex, instead the more horrible reality that you couldn't handle going on a date with someone you knew you could never date again. How could you get him to accept that when you couldn't even accept it yourself? 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Lady Blueberry! Is the outfit I have selected appropriate for the restaurant?!”Nayeon needed to get back to practicing law quickly, so you’d have a defense lawyer when you killed the guy you liked for being an asshole.You peeked out of your bedroom door - where you’d been locked inside having your lovesick tantrum - and saw Jaehyun done up in the one dress shirt you’d found in the back of your closet (from god knows who, lmao). With his top buttons opened enough to show off the gold necklace he wrangled away from Nayeon, his dark jeans, and his favorite gold buckle loafers that surprisingly matched… he was going to turn every fucking head in VBeach tonight.“You’re seriously just going without me?” you asked.Every man in the history of the world wanted a threesome, he apparently was no different.Jaehyun slicked back his hair so it was perfectly in place, then said with complete neutral energy, “I offered and you declined. A prince does not push. Have a pleasant evening with Mr. Strong John.”Yeah, right. He was the definition of pushy.“You just want some off the record time to woo Lady Eunbi.” You were doing your best to push his buttons as hard as you could again, knowing what it got you last time. And because you definitely, maybe wanted to know if he still had any secret feelings you couldn't sense.Jaehyun let out a frustrated sigh that rattled the apartment, “The only person I wish to be there with is you, however, it is quite plain you do not reciprocate!”“Fine, I’ll go.”If it was that easy to get him, it was that easy for you to change your mind.Especially when Jaehyun’s face lit up from the sullen cloud it’d been stuck in since brunch. “Have you said so with honesty?”You shrugged. It’s not like the staff at D.O’s were going to seat you without a reservation anyways. You’d go there with him, get turned away, pick up some microwave meals at Walmart, and have your existential crisis over the datiest date restaurant in VBeach another time.When you were a foot away from the door, Jaehyun stopped you with a gentle hand around your wrist and teased you equally as gently, “You cannot wear those garments.”“What did I say to you?” you growled. “I can wear whatever—”He cut you off, but the soft little voice he used was anything but aggressive, “It would be pleasing to take a sophisticated snapshot to commemorate our time together.”Jaehyun wanted you to dress up just so you could take a dumb couples matching pic? Something you hated doing, after being subjected to the worst posed shit ever with the dumb bitch you called a stepsister? And you were actually thinking that it would be fun and cute or whatever? Why was he a literal menace put on earth to torture you?You stormed into your bedroom and slammed the door, wishing you could do it a second time when you heard his quiet laughter from the living room.Part of you wished, no matter how weird your friendship had become, that Solar was there to help you. She somehow always managed to pull the perfect outfit out of thin air whenever you needed it the most.The thought of putting on the dress deluded your stupid ass for about one second before you felt in your heart it was better to hold off on that… for something.So you changed from mangy sweats into this long (for your standards, it went almost to your fucking knees!!!!) dress in soft peachy orange, and pinned a tiny white bow in your hair that you didn’t hate as much as you thought you would. The line was drawn at heels, aka your cleanest white sneakers had to do, but you put on the most delicate of your jewelry and the sweetest perfume to match.You certainly didn’t look like a princess with your dark tattoos and lines of piercings standing out against all the softness, yet you didn’t look like yourself either. Almost like you’d been reborn as an elegant lady who knew how to threw down when the lords weren’t around.You couldn’t decide if it was gross or… kinda nice.And why did you feel nervous coming out of your bedroom? Your hand legit shook on the doorknob when you went to open it.Maybe because you knew Jaehyun would stare and, boy, did he blow your expectations out of the water. Not only did he stare, he stared bad - his eyes popped right out of his little head, he let out this exhale that made your head spin, his open mouth was catching flies, everything. It was the most flattered you’d ever been in your life, stirring up enough delusions for you to finally believe that you were as pretty as you always claimed.You ducked your head so he couldn’t see that your cheeks were on fire and tried to ignore it, “Don’t be an asshole. You made me do this.”He crossed his arms and his eyes gleamed with satisfaction. “I do believe it was particular genius on my part. I hardly recognized you.”“Can’t you just be a normal guy like I taught you and call me hot or something?” Your ego was going to explode if he kept feeding into these romantic whims just to get on your good side.A side he was already on.“You are… beautiful.” Jaehyun let out another happy sigh and every bit of his nose was already wrinkled with fondness. “As if a princess with permanent tattoo images came to life.”Something about him continuing to call you that made your breathing catch with extreme hesitation.“Don’t stare too hard,” you muttered. “I don’t think your old ass eyes can handle contacts. Let’s go.”His hand closed around yours as soon as you were on the sidewalk, brain jumping into the loophole of knowing you’d have to cross the street right away. But Jaehyun didn’t let go when you were on the other side and you couldn’t bring yourself to force his fingers off. It felt cruel to you both.You walked the VBeach streets in silence as he marveled at the even rows of unremarkable apartment buildings, the speeding cars and bikes, and tiny dogs on leashes trotting by their owners. But you marveled at him, how adjusted and comfortable and… happy… he looked here. And no one looked twice at the two of you holding hands and strolling to your heart’s content, ‘cause you were just like every other normal couple going out on a Friday night.To the most popular restaurant in VBeach, which was almost a carbon copy of the hoity toity palace dining room... only stained with the gorgeous smell of garlic bread everywhere.“Don’t be upset if they don’t let us in,” you whispered to him, scared of being kicked out if you were any louder.“I understand," he whispered back.You wished you could tell the line of snooty hosts that this was Jaehyun’s, like, living life bucket list or whatever. But you had no money to bribe them—“Hello.” Jaehyun truly had no fear, he dove straight into a conversation with a brand of foolish self-confidence you’d never had, “I do believe there was a table saved for myself and my lady companion, done so by my liaison Marcusson.”“Marcus Lee the Sixth?” These people somehow knew what the hell Jaehyun was talking about and you were officially baffled. “Are you… Jay?”Jaehyun nodded, even though the reservation on the tablet said Mr. Jay Jeong like he was some uppity country club dude. Which you figured he technically was.The head host inclined his head to both of you with extreme politeness. “Welcome, sir. Ma’am. Please follow me this way.”Huh?!Jaehyun grasped your elbow to make sure you followed him through the rows of patrons wearing their finest designer dresses and suits. When you stepped by a lady wearing an actual diamond tiara, he brought his mouth to your ear and scold-flirted with you, “I informed you that matters would be settled.”“No, I… yeah, okay. We’re going. Wow. Holy shit.”Your mind was blown at the fact that he could pull this sort of thing off.Did he use the prince card to get you a reservation at a restaurant you’d always wanted to go to?“Please let me know if you need anything, I will personally tend to it.” You were so lost in the host bowing to you and pulling out your chair that you almost missed what he said as he left, “You will be happy to know that everything was paid for in advance and your second reservation was also fulfilled. I hope you and your wife have a wonderful evening.”What the fuck….?“Thank you,” you breathed as you sat down.What was that dude talking about, second reservation? What was he talking about, wife?!And why was this the most gorgeous table you’d ever been at? The baby’s breath were displayed in a goblet made of pure crystal, there was a whole ring of softly-lit candles around it, and despite your poor little eye, you knew the cutlery and plates were made of solid gold. You were way out of your comfort zone here, where the hell were your paper napkins and recycled plastic forks?“The cloth has been folded in the image of a bird. Look!” Jaehyun gestured to where the sage green napkin had been twisted around in the origami outline of a sparrow. His dimple pressed in deeply as he stared at it with happy awe. “I greatly desire a snapshot of myself with the cloth bird!”Unable to deny him anything, you opened your phone to… read your text thread with Nayeon?

[6:42 pm] bluebizzle to nananana BATMAN: Jae and myself.    R not able to.  attend. Enjoy !!!

Was this how he thought you texted? Lmao.You snapped the picture, then snapped for an explanation, “Jaehyun Jeong. What does this message mean?”He innocently looked away towards the inside of the restaurant, which was the most guilty-guilt-guilty thing he could’ve done. You followed the path of his eyes to an ambiguous spot behind you and saw… Nayeon and Eunbi at a table together?You were so confused you just blabbed, “Why are we at a different table like idiots? Let’s go sit with them.”When you stood up to go do that, Jaehyun reached across the table to grab your hand and keep you there with him. He tilted his head in the same direction, so you huffed and checked again: the two women were in a very romantic-looking booth, even more so than yours was - it was covered in the glow of a dozen more candles and the linen tablecloth was crinkling under the artful spread of the rose petals scattered across it.And they did not look like they were having a bad time where they were… sitting next to each other on the same side of the table.Then Jaehyun’s tender little voice floated into your ear, “It is obvious Lady Eunbi and Lady Nayeon share some affection for each other.”Yeah, duh.Nayeon put up with more of that girl’s bullshit than most people would… Wait.“You mean like like?”He made such a weird face, every single one of his handsome features pinching as he worked through what you meant. “I do not understand. You enunciated the word like twice.”“Liking someone is just… being cool with them. Tolerating them. Like liking someone is when you really like them.” That phrase was most frequently used by twelve-year-olds figuring out what crushes were for the first time, but it was surprisingly applicable to this bunch of emotional, fucked up thirty-year-olds.Jaehyun’s eyebrows went all funny again as he tried out the term, “I like like you?’No.Yes.You ignored that to ask him a more pressing question, “So, you set them up? Tricked them into hanging out?”He nodded, so proud and cute. “The restaurant did say that as the prince, I could have whatever I wanted. A private table so I may discover the secret treasures of this institution, such as the bird napkin. As well as a table for your closest acquaintance, because she requested so nicely.”None of this made sense. And you weren’t just talking about Nayeon leaning into her bisexual icon identity after a big breakup…“Isn’t Lady Eunbi one of the ladies you have a lot of interest in?” They spent almost as much time together as you and Jaehyun did, plus you saw the two of them have sex, hook up, whatever. Maybe Eunbi had a bi icon side as well, but what did that mean for him?Or for you?“No.”He winked at you - you had no idea where he learned that - and you groaned softly, “Jaehyun…..”You weren’t a lady of interest and you weren’t the future princess! How obvious did you need to be about that to get him to understand?!“I simply said no. Do not think everything revolves around you.” He made a little mocking face in your direction, before it dissipated into the sweetest smile ever - one where both his nose wrinkles and dimples were fighting for their time to shine.You made the same face back. “It does.”“It does indeed,” he murmured.Okay, what the fuck. Maybe you just needed to enjoy tonight as it happened.You ordered the prix fix meal, too dumb and too wrapped up in each other to look at the menu and figure out what that was. You didn’t know how you were going to get over any part of experiencing being here with him. Neither of you needed to speak to know you were both beyond smitten and you simply could not get over the fact that he went out of his way to make your friend happy too… knowing it’d circle back and make you happy.“Were you like this before?” you wondered.“Yes, I enjoyed beef when it was served at the palace," he answered what he thought you were asking about.“No. Like. I get that you did your thing with whoever, but what did you do when you like liked someone?”Did Jaehyun take all his favorite women to ye olde colonial version of D.O’s and order them ye olde prix fix menu while he said ye olde romantic things?“I have never like liked an individual,” he admitted without looking up from his bread roll. “I was presuming that I would eventually like like the Lady of the Violets once we were introduced in person, however… I was not afforded the opportunity.” His fingers trailed up to brush his throat like he needed the physical reminder he could still breathe. “No, I squandered the opportunity.”He was being so fucking introspective about his previous relationship’s demise, far more than he had ever demonstrated himself to be. The prince that you met all those weeks ago would never have taken the blame for how things ended.Jaehyun swallowed the overload of emotion and challenged you across the table, “Are you as disagreeable with every man that you like like as you are with me?”You didn’t like like him.It went beyond that, unfortunately.You shrugged and kept your mouth shut, sort of wanting him to squirm under the possibilities you weren’t voicing—“Will you continue to be disagreeable when you are married?”Whew.You were not ready for that subject transition, which felt planned, on purpose, pointed, all of the above. Your fingers twisted into the napkin and the bird fell apart in your hands as you said quietly, “I’m not getting married.”Jaehyun was trying his damn hardest to get the answer he wanted out of you, “But if you were to?”If you ever got married, it wouldn’t be in a church, and you sure as hell wouldn’t be wearing white or a fancy tiara. It’d be a rowdy fucking affair with the people you loved most getting drunk off their asses and your husband would be fine with it all.“Of course I would," you said. "Because I’d be getting married to someone who tolerated the disagreeableness.”Jaehyun couldn’t stop beaming and you felt like this was iconic self-sabotage. But you also couldn’t stop.“What is something the world wouldn’t know about you?” you asked.“Pardon?” He wasn’t sure where this was going. You weren't sure where this was going for a second, until...“You’re a famous historical figure now, there are books and articles out the ass about your life. But what is something that we wouldn’t know?”What was something that wouldn’t be tucked away in your father’s journal? Something you could tell the smiling stars on the late nights in the future you spent with no one else but his memory to whisper to. A fact-founded stepping stone towards completing his research that only this kind of personal connection would uncover.“My favorite creature is the caterpillar,” Jaehyun revealed happily.What? That was so random.“As a youth, my father and I would sit in the yard of our estate so I could demonstrate to him what I had learned in my studies. I would receive a scolding once a session because I would become distracted by their strangely-shaped bodies. Much like that of the inflatable man.”There must be a treasure trove of paintings hidden somewhere in the palace of him and his family, the ones too personal to be put on display in a museum. You could just picture this one - Jaehyun and his father the King sprawled on the sunniest patch of palace grass, their crowns tossed to the side, their books tossed even further, and the elder Jeong’s face lined in fond frustration as the younger one chased a little green squiggle.The idea of it was too fucking cute.An endless number of dishes filled with stunning food were placed on the table before you, yet you and Jaehyun did not break your swooning stare at each other. The stupid giddiness built and built with no end in sight.He took a bite of the fussy whatever painted onto his plate, but was far more preoccupied with the conversation, “I am returning the question to you.”“You don’t know anything about me.” You could tell him the most basic thing and he wouldn’t know the difference.“You have an exceedingly close relationship with your father despite his absence," Jaehyun started speaking with this know-it-all grin and it just got wider and wider and wider. "You are fond of the color blue, so much so you made it an alternative name, and you quite enjoy permanent tattoo images of the wonders crossing our planet’s sky. Yourself and Lady Nayeon seem to be more like siblings than acquaintances. And…?”You didn’t want to feel these things for him. You didn’t.“When I was a baby, I would go around telling everyone that I wanted to be a whale,” you murmured. “That’s where blue comes from, not the color. Blue whale.”You and your dad were too poor to ever go whale watching, but the whale dancing up your spine was an un-erasable memory from a road trip to the aquarium in Atlanta. There wasn’t a real whale to see in the tanks there, you were devastated to find out they were too big to be caged in like that. But a model one was hung at the highest apex of the ceiling inside and your brain never erased the sight of your dad pointing it out for you.Jaehyun let out an exhale that was formed in the depths of his touched soul. And as he stared at you, his fingers flexed on the table like they did while tracing across your whale tattoo while you slept.You were going to kiss him.You were.This was a stupid movie moment where you were going to fucking kiss in public, make out over the table, get kicked out for being too lovesick, before you fully handed your heart over to him. Which you absolutely couldn’t do, so you needed someone to save you—Nayeon’s snorting-ass laugh rang out through the restaurant like she knew you needed it. You blinked hard and looked away from Jaehyun to see what was going on — she and Eunbi were sitting so close you couldn’t tell who was wearing which black outfit and they were staring at each other like… yeah. That was the same stare.“How did you know?” you asked Jaehyun without turning to him.Nayeon was your best fucking friend in the world and nothing usually got past you. Yet Jaehyun had somehow spotted all the clues that you’d missed.“Lady Eunbi and I became friendly—Do not misinterpret, my sweet.” He laughed so sweetly when you whipped back around and found yourself glaring at him with not-at-all subtle jealousy. “She revealed her deepest wishes that I did not select her at this journey's conclusion.”That didn’t mean a damn thing.Jaehyun kissed the expanse of your palm, not afraid whatsoever to demonstrate his affection, and finished his explanation, “After, it appeared to me as if they were drawn together in a manner I had become familiar with.”Then he didn’t let go of you, even if he had to awkwardly eat with his left hand for the rest of the meal.And ye olde romantic moment truly hit hard - the tender feelings of your complete inability to be apart from him had your eyes watery until the last dessert course (there were fucking three.) And then you were caught in a daydreaming, diabolical plan to end up stuck at this table with Jaehyun until the end of time or the restaurant had to throw you into the dumpster…“Blue?”Now that you had the correct context of their friendship being less friend and more ship, your mind was a little blown when Nayeon and Eunbi suddenly appeared by your table. Your best friend's slinky silk suit and the elegant lady's appropriate and perfect gown made them look like the fucking power couple to end all power couples... only softened by the smitten glow of hanging out with someone you like for the first time.You played completely dumb at the sight of them, “What? What are you doing here?”Nayeon recognized you were trying to fish, so she rolled her eyes and made a fake excuse, “I just showed face to get free dinner.”Her joke made you realize you hadn’t savored a single bite of the food. You were so obsessed with everything about Jaehyun you didn’t give a single shit about your first ever nice meal, you couldn’t even comment on what the beef tasted like or what any of the in-between courses were made of. But you knew the number of times he wiped his mouth after the ice cream course (three, one on each side, plus another for his right dimple), that he preferred still water to the strange sensation of sparkling, and how the spot of blush on his neck looked like Vermont every time it appeared.“The photograph, the photograph,” Jaehyun whispered the not-subtle reminder.Like you could’ve possibly forgotten.Always obedient to whatever he wanted, you revealed his matching snap idea, “Jae wants a pic outside of the restaurant.”The two of them smiled at each other, before Eunbi moved a strand of hair out of Nayeon’s eyes and said softly, “I think that’s a wonderful idea. A memory that can be savored forever.”It got weirdly existential between you three women, well aware this was just a temporary moment in time that was going to evaporate before you were ready for it to go. But one glance at Jaehyun still smiling like a fool and it hit you that none of this had sunk in for him. He was under the impression he was carving out a sweet little VBeach spot to hang out in… for good.Goosebumps of dread outlined the space between your whale’s elegant face and the trace of stars on your neck, right above where his hand lingered as you walked out of the restaurant together. No matter how hard you swallowed, this lump in your throat continued to swell to a threatening size.Eunbi also started to get nervous on the pavement outside of D.O’s and tried her best to dodge taking a picture she’d agreed to, “Oh, I don’t look nice.”After shitting on HongsucksMegaAwfulAss for the entirety of your friendship with Nayeon, you knew that you had to take the opposite approach now.“I like your outfit, it’s very nice,” you reassured her, not a single lie to be seen.And she relaxed enough to shuffle over to where Nayeon was putting fresh lip gloss on.They stood close to each other but not touching, their grins were bright but not totally real, and every time they locked eyes Eunbi couldn’t hold the stare without glancing away in embarrassment. You felt so bad for them that you decided to let it go without teasing…“Intertwine your hands!”Jaehyun grabbed your hand to demonstrate, just in case they didn’t understand what he was saying. You’d never seen Nayeon this shy and smiley before and Eunbi looked like she was struck by lovebug lightning when their fingers caught. But as the two women gave in and let themselves hold hands and smile at each other, they transformed into the happiest little losers in VBeach for the pictures you snapped.Jaehyun’s mind was locked into outshining them as soon as you’d finished the last photo, “It is our turn, it is our turn! How shall we stand for the photograph, my sweet? With you in my arms?”Your stupid mind was making you act even worse than your friends, since you ducked his grasp to stand far enough away you may as well have been in goddamn California. The anxiety straight up crushed you as you again dodged his quest to cuddle, “This is fine.”You stepped another foot away and felt like you were about to fall into the ocean, straight into the center of the earth.“You’re lame as fuck! Cuddle that man!” Nayeon gave you the best friend scolding of your life as Eunbi playfully gestured for you to hold Jaehyun's waist, a step further than they had gone—“Blue?”The worst possible person showed up at the worst possible time and made every limb of yours go heavy with simultaneous dread-panic.“Go the fuck away, Sehun,” Nayeon snapped.Sehun didn’t listen to her. In fact, he stood on the sidewalk without moving so he could take out his phone and get his own perfect shot of you and Jaehyun together. Then he topped it off with his rancid comment, “Did my roommate get a full body transplant or what?”You didn’t get the memo that you owed his disloyal douchebag of a roommate anything.The sound of Sehun roasting you had set fire to one of your ears, “I didn’t realize you were bougie now, Blue. Do we need to reserve you a special table every time you come to the club?,” while Jaehyun was whining happily in the other, “Let us take our photograph, please? Please? Pleaseeeeeeeeee.”“We can’t,” you whispered. “We can’t, we can’t.”What if Sehun posted this picture to shade you and Yuna saw it? You were well aware she secretly followed Johnny and his friends she found hot because you had control of her Instagram and saw it all. That scenario happening would mean disaster levels of drama and you contemplated sinking right into the pavement and disappearing to avoid the mere possibility it could happen.Then your once-friendly tattoo artist drove the stake into your heart, “Ooooh, the princess has arrived, everyone take a bow!”You were going to faint and throw up, order negotiable.Nayeon acted as your steady beacon through this haze of shit and ignored Sehun like you knew you were supposed to. “Just look here for the pic, Blue.”You glanced up and she had her phone ready to take the picture, no matter what. So you clung onto Jaehyun’s arm to keep from falling, pressed your cheek into his shoulder and tried to beam like you knew he wanted… only to end up caught in this soft, emotional spiral of a smile, your tattoo-inspiring wrinkle safely hidden against the folds of his shirt.But Sehun was gone by the time the flash had dissipated, so maybe you got lucky and he didn’t see any of that…An airy laugh escaped from your lips when Nayeon and Eunbi high-fived in success at managing to snag the perfect picture. Something about it had the stress peeling off your body as you turned to de-escalate the drama and giggle with Jaehyun, “I guess that wasn’t so.... bad.”And you knew you'd fucked up beyond belief when he ignored you. — The apartment door slammed shut behind Jaehyun and your entire body exploded in a flinch.Your lips cracked apart with the first words you’d said to each other since leaving the restaurant, “Na should be home later, there’s ice cream in the freezer if you want another dessert—”“Goodnight,” Jaehyun said stiffly and moved to disappear into your bedroom.But you stopped him by reaching for his hand. Feeling better once his warm palm and his steady heartbeat was trapped between your fingers, you asked, “What’s wrong.”“Nothing is wrong.” He denied your assumption, yet made the mistake of ripping his hand out of reach… giving away his lie.Your frustrated, hurt sigh billowed from deep in you, “Is this about the picture? You know why we couldn’t, you’re…”He was a prince and you were nowhere close to the woman he thought he wanted to marry. A wife could be honest with her husband and you were still keeping the biggest, baddest secret tucked away in your heart.Jaehyun talked over you with the entire weight of his authority, “You like like me, admit it.”“Watch what you say right now,” you warned him.He had a vocabulary you could not process most of the time and always chose his words carefully. But he had not yet seen how skilled you'd be at shutting down your feelings if he came close to crossing the boundaries you desperately clung to.“I cannot comprehend why you continue to speak and act as if we are moving in separate directions.” Jaeyhun’s well-crafted interrogation flowed out of him with thunderous intention, “You say you do not like like me, but you allow me to kiss you—”An unhinged shout ripped out of your throat, “Kissing means nothing!”He might've been taking kissing as gospel in his quest to reform his centuries of self-induced fuckboyery, but you had to stick to your goddamn guns and not get too used to it. Because the moment you existed in a world where you weren’t allowed to kiss him anymore, you didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen to you - if you were going to be cursed or what. It certainly felt like you might be.“Fine. Perhaps kissing means nothing to you.” He reversed course so calmly you could somehow feel the anger seething underneath his perfect skin. “Then explain to me your thoughts behind your failure to attend Mr. Strong John’s music performance tonight, as you said you would.”It was impossible to explain just how easy it was to cut Johnny out of your life as soon as Jaehyun appeared in VBeach.You didn't have a chance to worry if your answer was going to get you in trouble. Jaehyun ended up laying it all on the line for you, “I believe that you like like me in return but you refuse to accept it no matter what. And I am simply unable to understand the reason why.”“You have no idea how I feel," you seethed.Every single inch of you hurt with how much you liked him, but it was your fucking responsibility to make sure it only ever stayed your personal problem.“Then enlighten me, how does one tell a modern woman truthfully that they desire to be by her side at all times?” Jaehyun’s voice was cracked through by the end of his question, exhausted with the effort of vocalizing his heart’s intended path.This had to be the way the colonial guys said that. It had to be.“You don’t, dude."Jaehyun ran his hands through his hair and it stood up all over the place as a demonstration of the bonds of control unzipping around him. “I do not understand, I do not. This is an aspect of modern society I cannot understand, no matter what I do.”And you were hypnotized by him, by the fact that he had transformed from a man that could - and did - have any woman he wanted, without the weight of a single emotion bothering him… into a man that malfunctioned into nonexistence when posed with the idea that one woman could not reciprocate the way he’d imagined.You shook your head with your eyes closed to get a goddamn grip. “I would rather you just go back to being a historical fuckboy, it’d be so much easier—”“I do not know what that means!” Jaehyun snapped at you when your whispered dilemma scrambled his brain.“Stop liking me!” you snapped back.“No!” He wrangled himself into propriety as fast as he could, knowing he had one strategy left - standing at his full height and using his princely authority to proclaim, “No, I do not intend to.”The air felt downright rancid with longing as you and Jaehyun stared at each other, impossible to undo this lover’s knot desperately holding you together despite the feral forces designed to split you apart. You could still see your wrinkle marked into his arm through the sleeve of his shirt.His stupid ass couldn’t resist caving to whatever you wanted. It was no time at all before his beautiful eyes lined with such lovesick acceptance and he said, “However. I will if you desire it, so give me your order.”You wished you could order him to like like you for as long as his heart still beat in his chest.“Stop liking me,” you pleaded with him, the hot tears burning your eyes. “Stop, please.”You didn’t have the strength to walk away from him at the end of this. Giving up somebody that anchored you to this strange, cruel world for the second time would be too much for you to come back from. Better to force him into a breakup now than to suffer through the alternative.Jaehyun bowed his head to you, his mouth twisting in regret before he conceded, “As you so desire—”You found yourself crossing the tiny space in a flash, to kiss him first and make sure he didn’t finish that sentence.It was probably the strangest kiss you’d ever shared with anyone - your lips touched and you both just kinda froze, thinking the other one would stop or pull away before you got the chance to fully enjoy it.You picked up on the flutter of his lips just dying to chase yours and Jaehyun realized that this wasn't exactly one last goodbye kiss. You separated to an impossibly close distance away to subtly peek at his reaction, and… he was already peeking back through his long eyelashes. And you found it so hard to believe that you could tell by the subtle sparkle of his eyes that he simply couldn’t believe his luck.He let out this harsh exhale and it felt exactly like he’d set off a ticking time bomb you couldn’t anticipate the consequences of. But it was hard to care because you always felt so goddamn drawn to him, to reach for him first, to press yourself into him first, to crush your mouth back into his first, without giving him a chance to go back that sentence you hoped he’d forgotten.You had never stood in the middle of your room and just kissed a man without even making a move towards the bed, but you and Jaehyun were trapped together, trapped in each other.One kiss couldn’t be replaced fast enough by another - a kiss to his cupid’s bow and his lips were already closing around yours, his tongue swept against your lips to bait you into following, but the second he exhaled your tongue snuck into his mouth instead. It teased against his in the tiniest lick and he returned the favor and lewdly curled his in a circle around yours.Even in between, the moments where you should’ve been catching your breath, your mouths kept pressing together without the intention to kiss, just wanting to feel how much you were wanted.His mouth slipped away from yours and you barely had the chance to be pissed off he'd missed the unspoken memo to not stop… because his mouth met the curve of your cheek and left behind the remnants of an open-mouthed kiss that had your blush boiling underneath. The off-center tilt of your head gave him the perfect angle to bury his lips into the crook of your neck, determined to not step away until he’d marked every single bit of you with the same memory. You closed your eyes at the sweep of his hair against your jaw, then they slammed closed and you held onto him for dear life as you faltered under the one-two punch of his teeth scraping against your sunset tattoo, before his tongue slicked right over that heated spot.A strange shower of plastic-y feeling dotted against your palms as soon as the pressure of his mouth against your neck disappeared. The crown of his head brushed yours as you both looked down to see… the tiny buttons of his shirt in your hands after you’d accidentally gripped them too hard.There was enough time to make a joke, crack a smile, tune things down to a more manageable pace.But after a quiet growl that left lingering vibrations against your skin because he refused to stop kissing you to do even this, Jaehyun shifted his body enough that he could tear his shirt off and not be bothered by the loose fabric. LIke getting rid of it made it possible for him to get even closer, you felt the firm outlines of his muscles drape all over you as he advanced in for another kiss.As he did with the balcony railing and the posts on your old bed, he pressed you into your bedroom wall so that you had nowhere to go but into him. He left one more pretty kiss against your neck before he snuck down to run his mouth ragged over the open expanse of your chest. He wanted to taste all the secrets you’d held in there, ran his tongue past the line of moons that had captivated him, pressed his lips to the bow holding the satin together, dangerously close to what was waiting underneath.His nose dragged across your sternum as he left behind a pair of kisses on the swell of your tits that were half-fabric, half-skin (one hundred percent insane!!!) and you could feel the pretty stitched neckline of your strapless dress wanting to give way for him, too. Your dress started to fall off without being unzipped and the more your skin was exposed to meet his, the more you melted into him.You vaguely felt his hands curling into your spine to keep the dress on you.But you didn’t want him to keep it on you.Your hands tugged his hair to bring him back up to meet you for a proper kiss and it was just enough devilish distraction that his fingers slipped at the fabric. So, the next time Jaehyun looked down, he saw you reaching to undo the zipper without breaking eye contact. He’d given you a memory bank of crazy reactions to the tempting little outfits you’d started to wear just for him and you didn’t want to miss this one.Miss the way he followed every single second of the dress fluttering away or his lovesick gasp at what was left behind - you and your trembly hands and your tiny, lacy underwear (only since the dress didn’t need anything else, you promise!)Or the way Jaehyun stared, like he finally understood the meaning of wanting something completely.His dark eyes were unable to decide if they wanted to savor your sudden nakedness or explore the hidden bits of you that had been masterfully hidden away under your clothes. A statue’s extended sword slipped between your ribs, one leaf dangled off the stem of the flower he only ever saw the bloom of, a silly little cartoon sun marked on your hipbone, the outline of a stretching cat on a branch over a mole at the peak of your thigh.It was impossible to miss the signs he needed this to happen - his hands half-clenching as a reaction to his jaw doing the same, his gaze descending into such deep blackness the more he stared, the billow of space that opened up when he backed away to make sure he didn’t lose his mind. He wanted you so badly, but didn’t say or do anything.Your stupid ass heart dared you to get in his face a little, play dumb and flirty to get what you wanted, “What? Cat got your tongue?”His hand grasped your neck to keep you from coming any closer when you taunted him, and he loomed large over you while warning, “You must enunciate what you desire first before I feel satisfied to continue. I am quite fulfilled observing the outline of a goddess carved specifically for me.”Your lips hadn’t done enough? Jaehyun needed to hear it, too?“I…” You started responding with full cocky confidence, then a tidal wave of emotion left you stranded and shaky, “W-Want you.”Fuck, it actually hurt a little to admit. You wanted him just as badly.Jaehyun wasn’t satisfied with that. “To do what?”Not just the deeply inappropriate, deeply needy things you were going to do once you were lost in the no-man’s land of your bed. You meant what came next, the sleepless night of what the hell does this mean, the awkward avoid-me dance in the morning, the meal you would share, the first time you kissed after. The kiss after that. And after that.“Everything,” you whispered.And Jaehyun seemed to understand exactly what you meant.Now reassured that this knot of feelings was mutual, he stole you into his arms again and resumed kissing you. Your mouth was mindless and obedient as it folded into kiss after kiss, meeting each one that he initiated with equal enthusiasm and trying its best to steal a few kisses of your own. He brought you away from the space where you were still unsure about him and his fingers pressed into your bare skin as you descended towards the bed, only… he misjudged his angle into the pillows after a lifetime of the biggest beds possible.So you had a front row seat to his big ass head knocking against the wall like a bowling ball.“Good heavens!,” Jaehyun yelped as his head rebounded a second time. “Ouch!”He collapsed into the mattress with you in his arms and closed his eyes as the pain rattled in his head. You held yourself back from laughing at how dramatically he buried himself in the pillow. What a baby, he was too cute.You smoothed your hand over the nonexistent bump and kissed it, before you giggled quietly, “Sorry, my bed’s tiny.”It was the first time you didn’t really feel bad about it, though. Having him here made it impossible to.“The ideal size for you and I.”Jaehyun's response was the first soft, sweet thing that had come out of his mouth since dinner ended and you could feel the tension seeping out of him the more he clung onto you. The closer you held him the more you thought maybe this would turn into a quiet, romantic night spent together…And then he rolled over to smother you in ta blanket of his bodyweight and funny feelings.For someone who spent his life with everything arranged to his perfect liking, Jaehyun didn’t quite know what to do now that you were freely giving up everything to him.One second he was holding you delicately while his tongue swept all over your mouth, the next, he was pressing his body everywhere it could go. His hands kept grazing over your tits but he was too busy kissing the outline of the flower on your chest to move his mouth over to where you were nudging him to. Since you couldn’t tempt him with a real kiss, you found satisfaction in curling your fingers into his soft hair instead.He took his time to press several kisses across the expanse of your stomach, skin you’d showed off time and time again but never let him have—fuck, out of nowhere, his tongue licked a curved arc against the sun tattoo on your hip. You went literally feral with lust as he pulled your underwear down and off your legs while leaving behind a little bruise in the center of that circle.Feeling his hands sink into your waist was insane, watching his eyes stay closed in complete satisfaction was more insane, and seeing the red-purple mark from his lips on your hipbone was more insane than more insane. You tried your best to sneak out of his grasp - just a little, to stay control of your wandering mind enough to do what you wanted to him - but he sensed the opposition and used his strength to keep you under him.His hands bearing down pressure on both of your hips sent the heat spiraling through your limbs, then it burst into sizzling flames when he lowly ordered, “Stop moving.”Two could play at that game.You twisted particularly hard, then seductively countered, “No.”“No?” His eyebrow shot up and the visual image was so insane your legs fell apart so he was sat perfectly in between them with the perfect view. That was the perfect strategy to get the upper hand here, since his needy ass scooting back to take a peek gave you enough space to push him onto the bed and climb to straddle him. You held his shoulders down in return to keep him from moving, and you taunted right in his face, “No.” But Jaehyun didn’t take the bait and trap you into this racing back-and-forth that only had one outcome.He was too caught up at the sight of you above him, his hair-covered stare beyond anything you could comprehend, his face flushed to peachy perfection as a result of this. The intensity of his gaze got to you and you wobbled for a second where you were sitting. His hand flew to steady you at the crook of your neck and he rewarded himself for that moment of chivalry by letting his thumb aimlessly brush against the pebbled skin of your tits, sending your goosebumps to permanently imprint everywhere.... and making you want to return the favor.You caught his hand and he whined a little when you pulled it away, but you had to, you couldn’t wait anymore. You lifted his arm, took a long look at the permanent marking of your once-hated wrinkle, and you pressed a kiss to it. It was so easy to just kiss it and kiss it and kiss it, the muscles underneath, the veins above, every one a subtle thank you to Jaehyun for cherishing you like that.When your tongue darted out to lick at it, he let out this tiny groan and the degenerate part of your brain started to take over.You sunk back on his legs to do the same against his abs, peppering little kisses across the freckles that shone against his pale skin. Then you moved back even further past the drape of his pants on his waist - like he was a real modern cool guy who let them hang low enough you could see the band of his boxers - to let your lips brush over the cut of his muscles down past his—He kinda pushed his hips into your face by accident when your mouth made contact and you had never been so locked into the need to do this before. You tugged the stretchy waistband of his pants down, his briefs followed, and god damn……………. he had to be fucking impressive looking (and sized and shaped and everything) even here too?! Seriously?! It was so impossible that he was this perfect in every way but it was the reality you were faced with.Jaehyun took one look at your wide, captivated eyes and your shiny mouth hovering but not yet moving, and you could hear the nervousness in his question, “Whatever are you…?”“Shh. You’ll like it.” Over-eager, over-nervous, over-lusted, every single feeling of anticipation was racing through your voice as you extended the same courtesy he always did to you, “Tell me to stop if you don’t.”His lips folded shut as if he knew exactly what you were going to do and would not allow himself the chance to shoot you down. Lmao.Dudes were still dudes, even three centuries later.Like you did with his tattoo and those tender little points of his body, you lowered your mouth close enough to give his soft skin an experimental lick and he twitched hard.“My goodness!,” Jaehyun gasped at the top of his lungs.A point to the modern girls.The color spread against his cheeks but he didn’t tell you to stop, so you were determined to carry on until he did. Your lips closed around him in a subtle kiss mark that brought about an odd touch of romantic feeling, before the lewd desire crept back in and goaded you into running your tongue down the entire length of it just so you could hear his satisfied sigh.You weren’t exactly giving him the Pinnacle Of Blow Jobs (you were not going to be able to lie tomorrow, lol), since the whole idea of doing this was to rile him up to the symmetrical point of no return. The little kisses and tiny flicks of your tongue contrasting against the almost torturous pull of your mouth around him - but not daring to go any further - had him legit squirming in your hands. Your bare body slid over the muscles in his legs where you were laying on him on purpose and that almost took him out. He was having the goddamn time of his long life if the breathy exhales and tight fingers in the bedsheets were any indication.This was the fucking definition of being turned on, you knew the next time he touched you you were going to fall apart. And your brain could not handle it was due to the fact that you were doing this to someone else—Jaehyun tugged your ponytail to pull you off of him just as you felt his thighs clench and brought you up for a soul-searing kiss that seemed to burn down to your very soul. You were surprised he didn’t give a shit about kissing you after all that, considering your exes would never want to kiss you after. But you suppose he had bigger issues to worry about back in the day, like how the fuck they were going to get clean after without any running water. LMAO.And ait always seemed to become, a single kiss was just not enough for him.He left a thousand different kisses behind on your lips, only your lips, making up for these minutes of lost time or perhaps even the years gone by when you didn’t even know each other. They walked the line between his desperation and your smitten laziness, the sparks deciding if they wanted to be fanned into flames or just these tiny bits of hotness.His fingers roamed everywhere - tracing the curve of your ass, slipping between your legs only long enough to tempt you, flitting against the subtle swell of your tits where they’d crushed against his chest. The more he did so without hesitation, the more it felt like he was trying to pluck something out of you.“Do you intend for us to….?”Somehow, Jaehyun was too shy to even finish the sentence. Impossible.Did doing all this together imply something else in colonial times than it did now? You were naked! As soon as he kicked his pants all the way off, he would be, too!But Jaehyun's instinctive need to have you as an equal partner in every decision softened you (only you, def not him… wink wink) and you gathered his face up in your hands so that you could have this honest discussion. “You have to tell me what you want too, you know. Not because you’re the prince, but because you’re…” My boyfriend was impossible, and you’re mine was even worse. “…Jae.”Here he was Jae, the man who could decide on his own what exactly he wanted.He brought his fingers up to trace the wrinkle by your mouth and he murmured, “You have already voiced the proper sentiment. I wish to share every possible matter of my life with you.”Maybe that was how they said it back in the day.You’d have to think about that one later, when you were less busy…. Lol.You let him kiss you again, subtle and lovely, just a kiss before another. Then his hand slipped to hold your throat and you sunk into this pool of desire when his open mouth met yours, the clench of his muscles giving away how much he was holding in his feelings. His knee nudged yours apart and everything was heightened to a thousand, which meant your heartbeat rang in your ears over his quiet question, “Must we take proper precautions?”You thought about the ripped-up, store-brand, almost-empty-but-not-quite box in your nightstand and you knew that you should be proud that he was making this practical point. And the irony of it was that him asking if you should be careful - unlike pretty much any other time you'd done this - had you feeling like it was worth the almost-safe risk.But you just had to ask, “Have you… been with anyone else?”Why the hell were you goddamn nervous about his answer? Jaehyun wasted no time, he shook his head no with the sweetest, softest smile stretched across his mouth. His dimples were all shy and hidden as he confessed this big secret to you.Your answer got lodged behind a big boulder of emotion caught in your throat, “Then no.”“Have you?”Jaehyun must’ve absorbed all your expelled nervousness because his shoulders literally shook when he sat up to figure out for himself if you were going to lie. But there was nothing to lie about. Nothing at all, considering the last time you’d slept with Johnny was the night before you ever came to the palace.“No,” you whispered, lacking any of the combative energy from before.Because this was it.You were going to have sex, now blessed-cursed with the knowledge that you’d both stopped doing so with others just in case you were lucky enough that this happened. Which was pretty much the biggest mind fuck (…..lol) ever.He let out this incredibly nervous... yet so fucking excited... sigh and the second you caught his neck flexing in anticipation, you were moving at an incredible speed to turn over onto the mattress. Your words had never been quite as breathless as they were when you whispered, “Okay, I’m ready,” and you stretched to perch on your hands and knees.Your body was wound to the highest level of anticipation a body could have—After a warm sweep of his fingers up your spine, his words curled into your ear, “No, not in that manner. I wish to gaze upon your face.”Why was that so… why were you so…Your standards had always been in the goddamn gutter if you looked at your track record with men, but somehow Jaehyun had raised them too, too, too high.His hands danced to your waist to gently turn you back over on the mattress but he didn’t do so to fit you into a twisted little pretzel position that only worked to his advantage, either. He just gently laid you in the pillows, like how every fairytale princess slept (and maybe got railed too, who knows!), and as soon as your eyes locked, nervous energy gathered in the meager space between you.Jaehyun pressed a kiss to the apple of your cheek, and as his nose brushed against yours, his quiet words adorned you like a crown, “There you are.”You had never felt so goddamn soft and teary-eyed before in your life. While holding Jaehyun's face in your hands, where he didn’t have to turn much to kiss the waves marked on the insides of your knuckles, every emotion he’d ever created in you got caught in your throat, “There you are.”Liking another person this much fucking sucked balls and ruled harder than anything possible.You held hands for a moment to reassure each other that you were there together and you wanted this, before he stole one away to help line himself up between your legs. You both shivered at the exact same time when he made a subtle bit of accidental contact, and his eyes slipped to yours for one last bit of permission before he committed.And you just… shifted down so he sunk straight into you. No permission needed.His eyes closed as the feeling overwhelmed him, but you laid back in the pillows and just savored how good it felt to have no separation here, not even needing a moment to adjust because it was truly a perfect fit. You fit so well together everywhere else in your life that it wasn’t a surprise that you fit here, or that it felt so damn good, or that you already knew you wanted to do this an impossible number of times again after.But Jaehyun… he was having a moment.Sure, he messed around with a bunch of girls all those months ago, but this self-imposed celibacy was doing a number on him - his face had skipped the subdued blush for the effortful red of holding on. The friction-y slide of him inside you, as he moved around to get settled and find the best little spot, had you wanting even more.A shotglass of pure fire fueled your ego into flirting, “Are you alright, your highness? Having a little trouble there?”God, you needed Jaehyun to break down into his old, feral prince self ASAfuckingP...“Do not give me cheek.” As he gave you that ferocious little order, he pressed his hips into yours so quickly that the immediate ache set familiar sparks burning.“That’s all?” you teased.The fake innocence was a calculated little add-on….Which made him slip into you even further, move his hips in and out a little faster, kiss you just a bit harder. He caught you in his arms so you were pliant and still, so your noses dotted when he leaned in to give you a cute kiss that did not mask the generous stretch of having him all the way inside you again.  His fingers teased the meeting spot of your neck and your jaw and he held your mouth closed during his final, flirty warning, “Do not be disagreeable with me.”You were gonna do whatever you goddamn pleased.And you were determined to meet him with the same level of passion, to bring your hips against his in perfect timing, to clench around him when he was least expecting it so he’d have no choice but to try to go deeper. His melodic little gasps were legit music to your ears - like you were blowing his mind being this eager to reciprocate, like none of the other ladies he’d been with had made this feel half as good, like you were the winner of the real not like other girls competition.His hand once against slipped to the breadth of your throat, instead of your tits or your waist, to hold you against the mattress and experience every time you took a stuttering breath due to the overwhelming feeling. But when you glanced up at him through your eyelashes, you noticed that every time he was able to peek if you were enjoying it, his eyes always dusted with a light sparkle of concern. And you realized it wasn’t some weird historical fuckboy fascination of his - he was making sure you were still breathing and there with him.And like you knew he would - because it made every dude in every era feel powerful - he pulled out for the barest second so he could switch this all the way up, and perch you on top of him as he fell into the pillows. Sinking onto him from this angle was the legit most criminally good thing you’d ever felt and his eyes rolled back into his head to confirm it was mutual.His neck flexed as he swallowed back whatever insane thing he was going to say and you experimentally sat up and sat back down on him, hoping to pull the words out. One more time, your thighs burned as you shifted your hips up, then you dragged out sitting back down as slowly as you could go, even if it was torture, and…“I cannot stop.” Jaehyun's words painted your mouth as he leaned up for a kiss, then stayed there so that you were moving together as equals again. “I do not wish to.”It was nice of him to warn you. But with his neck all flushed and his broad chest on display and his thighs flexing against your bare ass.... you weren’t exactly getting the short (lol) end of the stick (lol).“You’re good, don’t worry.”“No, I cannot find the means to cease like liking you.”Oh. Okay.“I can’t either. I like like you too.” You’d come to terms with these confessions falling out of you another time, you had to give yourself a pass of grace. You weren't in the right state of mind. “Please don’t stop. That or this.”Looking in Jaehyun's eyes. Knowing for sure that he was doing this for you as much as he was pleased by it. Sharing these private memories marked into the ink patterns on your skin. You were unable to accept an early end to any of it. You had to see this through.He kissed you again, then pulled you into an unexpected embrace. His arms wrapped around you completely, even while he was still shallowly moving between your legs, just so he could press his cheek into yours and whisper, “Oh, my sweet. It has grown beyond that. I simply adore you.”Or maybe that was the way they said it.“Same.”Maybe one day you’d be able to speak your feelings in the pretty way that Jaehyun always did.Not today, though. Lol.He was satisfied with it regardless, enough to lay back on the bed just enough that he could see all of you, feel all of you, touch you wherever he wanted. He trailed his hands up and down your spine so he could make sure you moved against him in a way that suited you both. And what else could you do besides hold his shoulders and ride him the way that you wanted most?It was easy to re-establish the off-kilter rhythm that had him so wrapped up in you - slow, then fast, a surprise, then not, and his head softly knocked against the cracked wall behind the bed as his eyes closed in bliss. This was the way this shit was supposed to be, not awkward, not solely for him, just hot and overwhelming yet also so… comfortable and good. Even with his hands bruising against you and his hips rutting up into yours without stopping, whenever your eyes caught there was so much sparkling life in the atmosphere. Every time your hands squeezed around each other, it was simply a tender reminder you were both so lucky to get to share this together.As if he knew it wouldn’t be proper if he finished first without taking care of you, he shifted you around and tilted your hips a little, so that there was a little free space where you weren’t joined together. That way he could brush the ridges of his pelvis against the spot between your legs that needed to feel him the most, then follow it with a symmetrical brush of his fingers.Like you predicted after the shift in your feelings while you were going down on him, one touch and your feelings, for lack of a better word, exploded. When you shuddered in his hold, trying to suppress the impending swell for as long as you could, he did it again, slowly and on purpose, so that the incredible sensations were your temporary worst enemy.That way when he switched it up with no warning, you were caught off guard in the best possible way. He bit the swell of your bottom lip, then melded his mouth against yours and brought the pointed press of the pads of his fingers against that spot one last time. A point of him was latched onto every available point of you, enough that the next lazy, lovely, assertive time he sunk into you had coils of electricity spiraling together to detonate a cloud of lovesick possession over your existence.“Fuck,” you cursed into his mouth in sweet surrender. “Fuck me, fuck.”And like his mind and body would only ever let him be the slightest bit profane to keep his propriety intact, he just clutched your waist tightly and gasped, “Goddamn,” as his movements came to a sudden, shuddering halt.Nothing about the end of this was elegant or romantic, yet it still burned into the edges of your memory anyways. You fell onto the bed together, limbs twisted up in an unrecognizable braid but your bodies reaching as far apart as they possibly could. You needed a moment of peace on separate pillows, you were too overwhelmed and physically exhausted to give into the lingering lovesick energy.If you were trying to hold back and keep yourself from getting hurt, now you’d officially crossed past the line of no return into I fucked up (in more ways than one, lmao) territory. But as you laid in the soft night, staring at the blank ceiling to banish the spots in your vision and still able to feel his handprints on your body, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel the regret you were supposed to.You wondered how Jaehyun felt, about this, about everything.So, without turning over - your fairytale bravery hadn’t quite set in yet - you whispered for Jaehyun to come back to you, “Hey. You there?”There was no answer, which is pretty much what you were used to after a near bed-breaking session like that. But with him, this silence potentially wasn’t just typical post-sex laziness and you couldn’t help but worry.“Yo.” You were a bit louder this time, no way he couldn’t hear, “You good, dude?”No answer, not even a snore.Your ears were still ringing to the point that you couldn’t pick up on if he was breathing or not. And for some reason, your body would not allow you to shift the other way on the pillow and check for yourself.Instead, fearful adrenaline flooded your veins and you could only see how hard your fingers shook as you reached for your phone on the floor... to search up the pressing question: Would really intense sex kill a man in the colonial era?You couldn’t’ve done all this work to dodge a curse only to end up really killing him!You reconsidered your search for half a second, worried you might be met with a dozen links to colonial churning butter roleplay on inappropriate websites. But what popped up instead was a Reddit thread about historical relationships with a very eloquent top comment: Those people were getting freaky AF!A laugh snagged in the back of your achey throat. They definitely were.Suddenly reassured by strangers on the internet, you peeked over to see Jaehyun totally collapsed into your bed, wrinkled sheets caught between his flushed limbs, and his broad torso toeing the line between exhausted hyperventilating and the steady rhythm of his usual breathing. Your fingers snuck to smooth away the tiny sweat beads dripped into the hair above his neck and you thought you felt him snuggle into you. But he didn’t acknowledge you otherwise.“Jae? Are you asleep or are you dead?” you asked quietly.And while waiting for his answer, you held your breath. You were such a fucking goner.“I do believe I still have lifeeeeee,” he mumbled half his sentence before the rest of it turned into this mighty yawn. His hand fumbled over his back to grasp yours and his warm fingers pressed into your skin brought you so much relief. “I can feel your heartbeat quite plainly, my sweet.”Like it was under a spell, your heartbeat skipped about ten beats.
All because of you. Idiot.
Jaehyun turned over his shoulder slowly, like he was moving through syrup, because he was just that worn out. Lol. His eyes sparkled as they caught yours in the dark and his hoarse voice took over, “Must we put the pillow in between us this evening? The implication of propriety is merely a farce after our intimacy, moreover, feeling you as such is indubitably more comforting than the alternative.”You didn’t need a dictionary to interpret was he was saying: now that you’d had sex, there was no reason to stay away from each other like you were trying to get him to go along with. Which wasn’t the best strategy, since you knew for a fact the more this happened - the more sex you had, the more aimless cuddles you indulged in - the harder it was going to be at the end. But you were always a selfish fucking bitch, so. What the hell.After leaning in to press a kiss against the nape of his neck, you whispered right into Jaehyun’s ear, “No, we don’t have to.”He exerted some of his strength to pull your intertwined hands over his torso, neatly tucking you against the plane of his body in the snuggly outline of a big spoon. Without needing to be told, you buried your face in his shoulder and kissed him there, too. Then he tucked your hands against his own heartbeat, so you could feel the frantic yet reliable rhythms for yourself.“I am happy.” Jaehyun sleepy words sparkled under the shine of your fairy lights. “Are you?”You heard his delicate snore before you could say anything.This was maybe the most earth-moving question a person had ever made you contemplate. If Jaehyun had asked right after you’d gotten back from dinner, you’d have a totally different response at the reasdy.But as you shifted closer to him so you were sharing the same pillow, your muscles twinged with sweetness and you knew it wasn’t just that your body was sore from what you did. It was because your cheeks were practically screaming from the effort it took to mask the goofiest, stupidest, most infatuated smile of your life. And that was your answer.“Yes. Very happy.” 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Your room was extra fucking bright when your eyes fluttered open. The combination of the blazing summer sun through the rolled-up blinds and your still lit fairy lights shone a spotlight onto the gentle, empty indent in the mattress beside you.You gasped as the fear hit you, “Jae?!”Jaehyun's sleepy voice echoed through the open door of your room, “Yes, I am here.”Your head spun with a headache you hadn't expected - you were so fucking relieved he didn’t wander out to walk the streets on his own again. Fuck, finally having sex with him had made every emotion of yours go over-the-top to an insane degree. There was no need for you to be acting like this big of a lunatic just because you didn't wake up together.After retrieving an old pair of shorts and a tee full of holes (wearing his half-ruined dress shirt was not the kind of shit you’d do) you snuck out to make sure that Nayeon’s door was closed. Only to find the apartment was empty except for Jaehyun... shirtless and sprawled over your tiny dining table while working on something?“What’s up here?” you asked quietly.His muscles flexed every possible way as he peeked up at you and smiled, then set right back to work with a determined little pop in his voice, “The morning meal had to be prepared and you looked particularly charming while in the hands of slumber.”Jaehyun showed off his breakfast creation: one of the old Ding Dongs stashed in your cabinet, carved to look like it could’ve been a part of the bougie ass meal you shared last night and complete with a sprig of mint you had no idea where the fuck he got it from.“You are an interesting human being,” you sighed, soaking up the look on his proud little face.“You are a beautiful human being.”God damn it.His subtle arrogance multiplied after being able to sneak in that compliment and a wildfire blush swept across your body, just like it did when you were bare under him. And despite every internal warning sign not to cave and be couple-y, you found yourself kissing Jaehyun so sweetly in the middle of your shitty apartment, then tucking beside him on the couch to eat breakfast.He draped your legs over his to hold your thigh and balance the plate on your knee at the same time. As you reached back to the table for a napkin, he let out the silliest laugh at the wrappings he left behind, “Hehe. Ding Dong. Whyever is it called that?”Apparently, there were a lot of his questions you didn’t have the answer to. This one was the most harmless for sure.“I don’t know! I just like them because they have chocolate… You’re the ding dong.” You poked his nose on each syllable of the stupid phrase and Jaehyun giggled at the tickles while kissing your palm to get you to stop.Ah, there was no avoiding this.You ate a bite out of his breakfast creation and  - ignoring the fact that it was stale (your fault) - the reimagined Ding Dong tasted so good. You closed your eyes and wiggled around in the happy dance of pure carb and sugar. “God bless,” you sighed with your mouth full as you took another bite. “I could die fat and happy right here and now—”“Please do not die. I would long for you if you were to die.”You glanced at Jaehyun and he was clutching both the plate and your knee with white knuckles, terrified after missing the subtle sarcasm of your joke. And in that moment, you could only think of yourself as his……….. long-lost almost-wife.You knocked your shoulder into his and flirted to ease the tension, “Really?”The entire side of his neck to his ear flushed red when he realized he got caught being a lovesick puppy. “Who else would buy me inappropriate and good modern American food?”Who else indeed.You picked up half of the deconstructed breakfast and fed it to him, thumb catching the crumbs at the corner of his lips. His hand covered his mouth as he garbled through the mouthful, “Why have my teeth begun to hurt… but in a pleasant manner?”And here was another important question to look up later: Would a colonial child get diabetes with today’s diet?“That's artificial sugar for you, dude," you laughed, "always makes it taste super sweet but it hurts after.”“You must be made of the real kind, then.”You didn’t know what to say or do in response to Jaehyun’s ridiculous line or his ridiculous face, so you grabbed the Ding Dong out of his hand and took a fat bite out of it. You never felt quite okay letting your feelings run wild around him like this, pretty much the strangest thing ever for a person who never held back.One glance at your puffed-out cheeks, a squirrel storing Hostess products away for the winter, and Jaehyun let out an absolutely honking laugh. Then he reached over and squeezed your face in his hand to make the puffiness worse. Your own laughter rebounded against your attempt at swallowing and burned your throat in the best way, but somewhere in the middle of the hilarity, you ended up in his lap while he dove to kiss you.You’d kissed countless times at the palace and they were all amazing. But like every barrier had been cracked when he showed up here, then absolutely shattered (lol) the night before, there was something different about how your kisses felt now.There was no worry, no fear… no wondering hesitation over whether this affection was reciprocated. Your tongue slicked into his mouth to tease him, the way he'd so thoroughly enjoyed, and the tastes of chocolate and smittenness went together so well. His breaths came out as little happy hums after he popped a sweet kiss against your mouth and let his hands trail up the hem of your t-shirt. You sunk into him softly as you kissed, happy to enjoy a lazy morning together in a way you never thought possible...“I am in another crisis!” Nayeon bellowed as she stormed into the apartment.Here we fucking go again.Jaehyun slunk into the couch pillows on his own, making it seem like you were the only one there… and had magically sprouted two more muscular legs.But Nayeon didn’t notice, too busy going through the epic highs and lows of whatever had happened to her last night, “We were just watching two skateboarders go down Main Street…. then she was telling me how she had this identity crisis and hooked up with the prince trying to forget about me. But she couldn’t. And I couldn’t either and—”She kept tugging on the button of her suit jacket as she ranted. The suit jacket that she was wearing last night at the restaurant.“Wait. What were you not doing home?” You were kinda… preoccupied… so you thought maybe you missed hearing the front door close.“I stayed at her hotel last night.”“What?!” you yelped.Nayeon…………. stayed at Eunbi’s hotel room last night…………… def not to just watch the extra cable channels on the TV!!!!!!!!!!Jaehyun’s hands swept across your leg gently and he wondered from the camouflage of the cushions, “Whyever did you react in a dramatic fashion to that?” Only his whisper wasn’t as quiet as he thought it was and Nayeon’s attention honed right in on you both.“Sorry, we’re not alone,” you sheepishly apologized as she picked out his dark hair against the navy fabric, hoping she wouldn’t also pick out your states of undress.But she didn’t give a fuck that Jaehyun was there and kept ranting, “He knows everything already, she told me that. So—”Remember that overemotional drama you were cursed with?It made you explode in sudden confrontation, “No, no, no! We are not acting like it’s fine if he’s here and knows everything I don’t! Let’s have one normal thing, please!”Nayeon couldn’t be fucking around and letting Jaehyun be the third wheel to your gossip just because he was your boyfriend or whatever those memes were. These were big decisions that affected her life, that by transitive property affected his, which affected yours, and she couldn’t be so careless about it.Jaehyun sat up from the couch and used his calm, deep voice to cut the tension, “I will depart for the warm atmosphere.”“No…” You didn’t want him to go. It was impossible for you to be away from him for even, like, a minute now.He knew exactly what to reassure you about. “I shall exercise precautions when approaching the automated carriages.”He kissed your cheek as close to the edge of your lips as he could, then patted Nayeon on the shoulder and left without a shirt and without fanfare.Nayeon’s eyes had bugged out of her head seeing the kiss and she couldn't quite ask the question she wanted, "What was that? What?”“So, what's the problem here?” you talked over her. “You like her, you broke up with Hong for her, you had sex, I don’t get it.”Sounded pretty fucking fairytale-esque if Nayeon was telling you the truth of what happened, so you needed to know the real reason behind her sudden freakout in order to get rid of this horrible, swallowing jealousy. She’d gotten everything she wanted and so did you, but only one of you had a chance to make it permanent.“She still has to get married to a guy at the end of this, she said there’s no getting out of it," she whispered.God, you were a fucking asshole.You sighed in regret that you'd escalated for no reason, “That’s so awful, Na. I’m so sorry—”“I’m not done. I thought maybe you could tell Jaehyun to pick her.”Your heart couldn’t take this shit for much longer.“I’m confused,” you mumbled.Okay. She was in her own head about her personal drama, but…. wasn't it kinda obvious that things between you and Jaehyun had escalated? To a point waaaaaaayyyyy past you being cool with pushing him in someone else’s direction? After your best friend had been so up your ass about accepting your feelings since coming to the palace? What was this change up about?“You know, allyship!” She linked her hands together to make her point and you just knew she felt like a genius for coming up with this solution, “He picks someone he’s supposed to, but the four of us know what’s really going on here so no one will mind if… you know. And you can slide right on in there if you want to.”Sure, you taught Jaehyun what modern-day loose morals were, but not so you could benefit. This wasn’t some weird, personal chess match you could move the pieces around in and emerge victorious.“‘Cause he’s sure as fuck not picking you.” Did Nayeon really just say that?“Nice one,” you unhappily snipped back.You’d spent the whole moonlit night stripping away every defense you had to be as vulnerable as possible with him and now Nayeon was taking advantage of it.And she got mad at you, “What, now you’re getting touchy after you spent the past however many weeks making it clear you’d jump off a cliff if he did? What, was the sex last night good enough that you changed your mind?!”You were caught in her trap the second your hands awkwardly caught against the edge of your ridden up tee.She let out a sarcastic, barking laugh when you confirmed her theory by accident, “Are you fucking serious?!”“It just happened,” you whispered.How would anyone have assumed that begging Jaehyun on the verge of tears to stop liking you would’ve led to the tender cradle of your existences, desperately stuck together and intending to not let go until you were forced to. The things you said, the things he did, the things you both shared, you could never take them back.“It didn’t jUsT hApPeN,” Nayeon mocked you, thinking you were being an idiot on purpose. “It would’ve JuSt HaPpEnEd if you hadn’t been spending this whole time specifically making it so he fell in love with you!”Jaehyun wasn’t in love with you, all he’d said was that he adored you. There was a line drawn there, clear as day, and you weren’t the one who was going to force him over it.“I didn’t fucking do that!”“Oh, come the fuck on. Do you really think he believes that dumbass found out exactly what poem he liked in the colonial era?!”She had no clue about the bargain you'd made for the bracelet sitting in your bag, how Jaehyun had known it was you and there was no harm done. But you were forced to stop and contemplate the unintentionally lovely emotional damage you might’ve caused - that once Jaehyun realized that poem was all your doing, he went back through every interaction he fell for Yuna in and re-shaped them around you.“Do not get angry with me,” you warned her, low and controlled yet ready to snap in a second. “I’ve never told him about Dada.”Jaehyun knew the worst and the best parts of who your dad was to you. But the shining secret of his identity was always the thing that could make or break the relationship you never thought you’d have.“So tell him!” she snapped.“No!” you snapped in return.Was this a moral thing about lying? ‘Cause she’d never been one to ride the moral high horse outside of the courtroom. At least she was getting her fucking mojo back, but she wasn’t supposed to be using it on you!“You’re the only person in that palace, besides the dude legally required to take care of him, who bothered learning who the fuck he is!” Nayeon really came here to just rain emotional hell on your heart, huh?Your eyes screwed shut to protect you from the sudden tears in your eyes at the surprising truth of her argument. You were the only one who… ever tried to know Jaehyun, trying your best to make him comfortable in the strange new world he was left alone in.So you were baffled as to why you’d turned into the big villain in this fight. “That is not what he’s going to think! And how did this go from you shitting on me to convincing me I should what?! Marry him?!”She threw her hands up in the air and screamed, “Fucking yes!!!!!”Not once before had you ever been this goddamn mad at her, because she was now purposefully torturing you with something you could never have.“There’s a reason why I can’t and you know it! Just like there’s a reason why I can’t tell him to pick Eunbi! This isn’t a game and I’d hope my best fucking friend would remember that! Fuck off!”You shoved her away from you so you had a clear path to the exit, then you put on your shoes, stormed the fuck out, and yes, you slammed the door. The rage boiled over in your chest as you ran down the stairs, bringing back up images from that strange dream you’d had where she raged at the prince you were betrothed to.Did she think you were just fucking around for fun? And didn’t feel the sight of the impending finish line burn into your eyes every time you blinked? This wasn’t seducing a prince just to win out over the other rich women or fucking a hot guy just for the hell of it. You were hopelessly clinging onto the week of peace you were given to share with the person you liked… before pushing him to your stepsister and breaking these horrid shackles over your life once and for all.You would’ve helped Nayeon if you could, you even got why she was angry that you were wasting this opportunity to help. You would do anything for her. But you couldn’t even help yourself.Your surroundings blurred into dark emptiness as you made your way down to the sidewalk, even the morning sun couldn't fix it. You didn’t realize you’d slumped past Jaehyun until you heard his tender voice call after you, “What has transpired, my sweet?”He stood up from where he was sitting by the old tree in front of your building… and talking to it.“She’s pissing me off,” you whined as your heart began to hurt, then completely crumbled when you took the time to help him understand. “She’s making me angry.”Nayeon was being selfish for thinking you were selfish and you hated it.Jaehyun shook his head fondly and beckoned, “Do not be angry, it is so warm and beautiful in the outdoors on this morning—”You ran over and threw your arms around Jaehyun with no warning, burying your face in his chest while you hugged him. You needed this, you needed someone to hold you and tell you it would be okay, especially when the person who usually did this was the reason you needed a hug in the first place.And like he’d been tuned to your exact emotional frequencies, Jaehyun folded you into his embrace and pressed his cheek into yours so you could feel him there with you. His hands sunk into your back to hold you as tightly as you needed, fingertips trailing over your tattoos and cascading the relaxed goosebumps across your skin. He was so warm and sweet-smelling you could feel your tears transforming into beads of relief as they fell into his skin.“Do not be angry, do not be angry. It is so warm and beautiful, like you are,” he made up a jaunty little tune to sing as he swayed around with you in his arms. “Do not be angry, do not be angry.”“I’m not. I’m just… I’m not.” Your need to fight died a quick death and you melted into him.Jaehyun pulled you close so your face was smothered in his bare shoulder and he could whisper in your ear, “Would you care to inform me of what she revealed, so I may be of assistance?”He’d should’ve never grown up from the flawed prince he was.“No,” you fussed in denial like a baby, but when he gently squeezed your waist, he teased the truth right out of you, “She thought maybe it would help us all if you… married Lady Eunbi.”Your loyalty to your best friend could never be questioned again.You didn’t want to explain further and it didn’t seem like Jaehyun neededit to understand why. All he did was nod and draw you into him enough that it seemed like your hearts were trying to meet one another through your chests. His lovesick exhale cascaded across your neck, before he kissed the patch of matchy pink and orange marked there.He moved away so he could brush your nose with his, give you a funny fake look that transformed into his secret fondness, “Was that more difficult than suffering in solitude? Why must you be so disagreeable?”You shrugged, unable to say anything else.Jaehyun’s laugh was a gentle swish of sunshine that soaked right into your body as he kissed you. He was right, there was no reason to be angry when it was warm and beautiful like he was, and there was no reason to feel like you were suffering.Not yet, anyways. — Jaehyun was the one who asked to come see the beach, but he wouldn’t let you get up off of the boardwalk bench to actually touch sand.He kept pulling you in for kiss after kiss every time you tried and you couldn’t bring yourself to stop him. You could hear kids giggling and adults huffing about the PDA (you definitely would’ve been one of the angry teens scowling) but Jaehyun either didn’t know what any of it meant or didn’t give a fuck, probably both.After he pricked your mouth with a trio of pretty kisses, you laughed in one final, hopeless attempt, “You need to stop. We’re going to piss the day away…,” before editing yourself when you remembered the shitting chaos, “…waste time kissing if you don’t.”Time was the essence or whatever the fuck that phrase was. You were halfway through the week Mark agreed on and it still felt like there were an impossible number of things for you and Jaehyun to do before you were okay sending him back to the palace.He sat back but didn’t remove his arm from around your shoulders or his hand from where it was sat against your thighs. His eyebrow lifted in a challenge. “Is that supposed to be a negative occurrence?”“Didn’t you want to see VBeach?”“I am interested in a singular aspect of the Beaches of Virginia, yes.”Jaehyun widened his eyes on purpose, to tell you the one thing he was interested in was you, and you were just so fucking conflicted. Like, he only asked for ice cream and a beach walk. There was no reason for you to have brought him to the little scoopery in front of the semi-secluded strip of beach that only you and your dad knew about. Not if you were supposed to be tapering down your feelings…You nudged his foot with yours and wondered, “What do you want to do?”“I would like for you to bring me out and about on a date,” Jaehyun answered confidently, eyes glittering behind his cheap sunglasses.He was going to kill you softly.You pinched his cheek with such stupid giddiness in your heart. “How do you know what a date is?”“Chancellor Mark inquired on the talking rectangle if that was what our dinner should be categorized as.”You should deny Jaehyun if you knew what was good for you, you should. But the snapshot moment of him telling Mark he was taking you on a date - when did he even get a phone to do that?! - felt far too honest for you to ignore.“I don’t have money and people to help me.” Jaehyun took you to the datiest date restaurant in VBeach and it was no effort for him at all. If he wanted you to return the favor, there was no chance you’d come close to reaching that level - you hadn’t been on a lot of real dates, so… the handicap here was pretty high.“As you may recall, I am not the prince here.” Jaehyun waved a hand over his palm tree board shorts and I♡VAB tank top you’d bought him to prove his point. “I would prefer to experience this as if I were your real paramour—”“Boyfriend,” you corrected softly. “Boyfriend is the word for someone you’re dating.”A someone you’d never had before in your life.He lifted his glasses up to make sure he was hearing you right, lol, then tried out the word for himself, “Boyfriend. And you would be the womanfriend? No, girlfriend?”“Yes.”“Boyfriend and girlfriend, how quaint,” he sighed.Jaehyun didn’t kiss you to seal the deal on this new bit of modern-day information, nor did he know he was technically supposed to ask if that’s what you wanted to be. He just grabbed your hands in both of his and you sat together on the bench as boyfriend and girlfriend, watching the colorful sprinkle of beach umbrellas sway in the wind. You had to tell yourself this was just a normal day and not tattoo-worthy at all.“Whyever do people stare?” Jaehyun asked out of nowhere, his attention stolen by a gaggle of young teens craning their necks to get a second look at him while walking by.Was he seriously asking?With the sea breeze blowing out his long, damp hair and his beautiful face shining in the sun, not to mention his arms all out and about under the tank top? He was hot! He’d always been hot! Every generation and era of girl (or boy, or anyone else!) would find him hot!But you weren’t going to feed his ego, so you went with the other part of it, “They’re trying to figure out if you’re the prince or not.”He wasn’t Justin Bieber-level recognizable yet, not when the younger generations had spent all these years thinking of him in the context of a painting or a textbook, not as a real man.“Why? I appear exactly as I would on a normal day.” He was totally serious about it, too, like his princely posture and energy would be enough of a clue despite everything else about him being so normal.Sudden sadness zapped your heart as you answered right away, “Because of me.”Their first instinct probably was that he was the prince. Until they looked next to him, saw the tiny purple bikini top and the tattoo under it, and figured none of it made sense.“I do not understand. It is not strange for you to be by my side, every prince in history has had a woman he trusted and adored sat to his right.” He tickled your cheek with his fingers to get you to smile, then kissed the spot where your cheek puffed out and pressed his nose in to snuggle you. You ducked into his chest so that he could hold you again the way he wanted and you couldn’t help the smitten giggles. Every ridiculous thing he said made you so fucking happy—“Blue, you’re back?”“Huh? Professor?”What the heck was Professor Song doing on the VBeach boardwalk when she lived all the way in Williamsburg? Well, that wasn’t the weird part, knowing personally that W&M faculty came down here to relax all the time. What was she doing outside of your dad’s favorite ice cream shop… with a cone of his favorite flavor of ice cream, blueberry lemon?“I thought you were up in Arlington with—” A glob of ice cream dribbled out of her mouth when Jaehyun lowered his sunglasses to see and she realized who you were with. “Your highness. You’re here together. You’re here together?”She mumbled that last bit to herself like it was the shock of her life.“Greetings, Professor!” Jaehyun happily waved at her before he leaned in and whispered, “I was indeed correct in saying I appear as I usually do. She was able to recognize me.”Whatever. Dick.You shifted your bag to cover your linked hands since you knew he would not let go, and did your best to sound vaguely professional, “Yes, Prince Jaehyun decided he wanted to experience life outside the palace.”Was Professor Song smart enough to know just exactly what he was experiencing here? Or had you just shocked her into stupidity?She was still stuttering, so maybe the second, “I-I s-see. Can I help you at all?”Jaehyun didn’t get the hint she was just trying to be polite, so he actually answered, lol, “I possess a high level of hunger.”The history nerd in her activated before you had the chance to say no thanks, “The two of you should try The Clucking Hen. They serve simple meals quite similar to the prominent cuisine during the time you were alive, which were noted in such historical contexts by her father…”You cleared your throat violently. “Ahem!” As Jaehyun dove for the water bottles - thinking it was because you actually needed to cough - you glared at Professor Song hard enough to impart that that no matter how in her feels she was, she could not mention your dad. Not when Jaehyun still didn’t know.She glanced at you like you were crazy, but at least she got the fucking hint and backtracked, “If you’re looking for authentic Virginia Beach, go to any of the carts and get a hot dog with mustard.”You really hoped Jaehyun wouldn’t think she meant a real dog.And why was that some shit your dad would say? He loved a good cart hot dog.Jaehyun had given up on his quest for food to take care of you - he kept forcing the water bottle in your hand as he tried to be polite to Professor Song, “I am quite grateful for your assistance and for the opportunity to cross paths with you once more,” only to end up hissing in your ear, “Take it, my sweet. You may have dislodged your lung.”She flinched when she heard the cutesy name and you wanted to die, but you still drank from the water bottle as Jaehyun petted your hair carefully. An awkward silence froze between you when, knowing she wanted to ask what the fuck was up, you made it clear with your expression that she should keep her mouth shut. And it made you think of the last time (every time, but still) things were this awkward with her.“Oh, I almost forgot. Do you work with the political science department at all?” There was a specific reason why you’d called Professor Song back then, one you hadn’t been able to follow up on since ‘cause you were busy with… other things.“Yes, I give a few lectures for the history of political science class every spring semester.”“Do you have people I can contact about getting involved in politics? I’m interested.”You couldn’t send Jaehyun off to get married and then be an inflatable man prince, one who just waved his arms with his cute, shiny smile and drew people in while others did the work. He was meant to be more than that.“Y-you?” Professor Song burst out laughing with amused, confused surprise, “You’re the least PC person ever, your dad would’ve even said that.”

Blue, if you ever ran for president, just know your papa would vote for you. But I’m not sure other people would enjoy your idea of changing the national anthem to… Lose Yourself by Eminem.

“I’m interested.” You bit out the word with particular emphasis, then tilted your head towards an oblivious Jaehyun watching a seagull patter by.Her mouth formed an o as she realized what you were asking. “Ah, I see. I will send you a list of their personal emails and phone numbers. Use my name or your father’s…” she awkwardly stopped herself in time to hold onto your ruse, “…use my name as a referral. Hope to see you around.”Sure.“Thanks,” you said as politely as you could.You grabbed your bag and ran to catch up with Jaehyun, who had wandered over to the hot dog cart and was already fascinated by the little sausages rolling around on the metal tray. But your heart wasn’t just racing because of the fuckass cardio. Nope, with the shotglass mentions of your dad, the chaser of your still-vivid memories, and the bitter aftertaste of your empty dreams, you suddenly found yourself dangled on the frightening edge of a cliff you couldn’t keep ahold of.“I am intertwined within the clutches of dilemma,” Jaehyun beckoned for your help as some serious stress creased his handsome face. “I do not know which sausage to select.”“I don’t know either, I’m sorry,” you said breathlessly. “Can you pick one? Whatever looks interesting.”If you weren’t too full from the ice cream, you and your dad would always, always get a hot dog. Then a second one when the first just wasn't enough.This was getting to be too much for you to handle.He decided fast after that and requested it from the bored cart man, “I will have two, in addition to the cooked potatoes. Thank you, honorable gentleman.”You paid and got so anxious you were shaking besides his little excited bounces. But you couldn’t just go frolic with your hot dogs and pretend like you hadn’t been keeping this huge secret.Jaehyun wanted to sit in the sand while you ate, so you made him take off his tank top to sit down on (scratchy, sunburned thighs would send you over the fucking edge!) and you couldn’t even appreciate his abs because you were so freaked out. The one hot dog bite you took to pretend you were okay was horrible - it didn’t taste bad, you were just losing your goddamn mind.Jaehyun, on the other hand, was having a grand ol’ fucking time with his chili cheese dog. Once again, with no fear in his body, he ate half the hot dog in one bite and was crowing away before he’d even chewed, “This is truly one of the most delicious items I have ever eaten! It reminds me of a dish my mother once prepared. Not a sandwich, but—”“She cooked?” You didn’t mean to interrupt, you were just… surprised. That he was talking about his parents this openly while you were caught up in the chokehold of your own past.He nodded, his face going soft behind his sunglasses. “On rare occasions, such as the celebration of my birth or Christmas. She would not allow the cooks to labor on those days.”“That’s really nice,” you sighed.Imagining his beautiful, elegant mother - no crown on, apron over her dress and arms covered in flour - making her only son a tasty meal… that was such a special image for him to share with you.“It feels as if I should remember what the dish was, but I do not. I do not remember at all.” His sudden happy energy got sucked into the sea breeze as he stared down at the bread and sausage in his hands with billowing, fresh sadness.You had all these memories of your dad to cling onto, since fifteen years of him being gone was a relative speck of time.But what did Jaehyun have left?Handing over your hot dog so he could be cheered up by the extra treat, you did your best to soothe his grief, “I’ll look online for the recipe. People figure out dupes, duplicate versions, all the time. I’m sure there’s some historian out there who probably figured it out.”And as soon as you said it, your throat closed up… knowing the answer to this might be in the bag sitting on your lap.“Alright. That seems—”“I have something I need to tell you,” you blurted.Jaehyun’s fingers draped over your knee as he giggled fondly, thinking he’d gotten to you, “I fancy you as well.”No.This was going to be worse than telling him that.“Remember when I told you I knew Professor Song?” You started this conversation as carefully as possible, not wanting to miss a single bit of context and do this story justice. Jaehyun nodded and you continued on, “She and my dad met and became friends because they both studied the same thing… American history, in particular the pre-New American War era.”The New American War, the war that was fought after Jaehyun metaphorically died and could no longer hold the country together.“The pre-New… Oh?” His face flashed with recognition at the historical term Mark must’ve taught him. “Did they have knowledge of my existence?”You nodded.Jaehyun almost tossed the hot dogs in the air with his premature excitement. “That is genial news for me to discover, how would I say that now?”“Cool,” you whispered. “That’s cool.”“That’s cool!” He was beaming so hard you were worried what you had to say was going to fucking crush him.“Itwasntjustknowledge.” You were so nervous the words came out as one fucked-up syllable and he had trouble understanding what you meant. Enunciating it again almost killed you, “It wasn’t just knowledge. My dad’s, like, thing he focused on was your reign as prince and the aftermath of… what happened.”Your hands dipped into your bag and came to a stop against the worn cover of the journal. When you carefully pulled it out, it felt like you were ripping your heart from your chest at the same time.“I know that book,” Jaehyun said quietly, having seen you hold it an uncountable number of times.“This was where he wrote all his research,” your soft explanation floated on the same breeze as your fingers traced over your shared initial burned into the leather. “I call it my diary because it kind of is. He put notes about me in the margins.”

It was noted that Prince Jaehyun was a precocious child, who could walk and talk before many of the other children his age at court. But Blue walked and talked before she was a year old, so… I was a better dad than the last King of America!!!!! Woohoo!!!

Kinda funny to think how you existed in the same space through the parallels of time—Jaehyun snatched the book out of your hands in an inelegant hurry, then tore open the pages with little care. After turning to a random page, his body hunched over while he was reading, wanting an extremely private self-bubble to process.“You are in possession of these extensive details regarding the previous procedures of my life…?” His exhale drowned in the lazy tide pull of the ocean, but you could still sense every single emotion pouring through him. “My mother, my father. The things I studied and the manners in which I passed my time?”There was probably a sausage-bread recipe hidden somewhere in those pages.The cracks in your heart were splitting apart, your sunglasses fell to cover your teary eyes as you whispered, “Yes, I’m so fucking sorry I lied. You were all my dad researched.”Jaehyun glanced up at you with a symmetrical shine of tears painted into his eyes. They didn’t fall when he blinked, he was too stubborn and strong to allow that, but they sparkled as a reflection of the diamonds in the crown that burdened him. His fingers traced over the lines of his existence written on the pages and he murmured, “I thought no person would ever know me again.”You had no words to say, you had lost the ability to form them.Then your lungs shuddered to life with the helping hand of the sweet salt air, “Give it back, just for a second.”After skipping to the last page, the sight of the empty parchment making your eyes sting no matter what, you took out a glittery gel pen that shook in your hands. But you had to do this, there was no option not to.As you wrote it in, you read out the newest, sweetest addition to the culmination of your dad’s life’s work, “The prince was also known for his love of caterpillars.” You added in a stupid little heart instead of a period at the end of the sentence and sighed, “There, now it’s up to date.”When Jaehyun moved to read it over your shoulder, his hot exhale cascaded against the starry tattoo on the back of your neck. And his next one was loaded with an impossible amount of affection, “I am in lo—”You were so caught in your own head you missed what he saying and babbled instead, “I know this is fucking weird. Sorry.”This was never supposed to be a tool for evil manipulation. You used this diary to help yourself out with the plan from time to time, sure, but every other time you opened it… you did so just to feel your dad with you during the most challenging days in the palace. He would never come to you in dreams, this was all you had left.“May I keep it?" Jaehyun dared to ask.You would’ve said no at any other time, to anyone else, but…. “Yes. Of course.”As gave it back to him, his hand grasped yours over the leather and your eyes locked for this fleeting moment of electric empathy you’d never forget. Then he pulled you in so he could kiss you, your lunch forgotten, your boundaries forgotten, your worries forgotten, all buried in the sand here. You never thought telling him the truth would end like this, but you felt desperate relief billowing from his mouth as you kissed him as hard as you could. He needed to feel for himself how much you understood.When Jaehyun stopped to stare at your trembling self, his gorgeous face was framed in a halo of golden, warm sun that made it seem like he was wearing a crown. “I do not have the words to express my gratitude to you.”You didn’t, either. This was beyond special.“Don’t worry about it,” you whispered. “Don’t ever worry about it.”It felt better to let him take your clothes off in your bed that night than it was to do pretty much anything else. — The one long skirt you had def deserved more love than you’d given it.Having this dark green silk draped under your tiny pink top and gold belly chain made you feel like a gorgeous little flower fairy. One that was also a bit pruned, since your pre-game shower had turned into cuddling in the bath together until the water went cold.“Yo!” You called for Jaehyun as soon as you were good to go, so he wouldn’t make a fuss about wasting time. “Are you… ready?”He had fallen asleep on the couch while waiting for you to finish putting on your makeup for date night. You'd wanted to end the randomly emotional afternoon on a high by taking him to the nicest restaurant you could afford on your own dime, Applebees.Yeah, yeah. Whatever.You were working on it.“You’re just asleep, right?” you whispered as you sunk onto the open corner of the couch. “You’re still here with me?”Being torn between letting Jaehyun sleep 'cause he needed it and waking him up to make sure he wasn’t in a coma was how you knew you were certifiably crazy about him.“I still can’t believe you came all the way here just for me. Are you going to visit when you’re married? I’ll be waiting.”You didn’t even know why you said something that stupid.You sat there as he snored, both gentle and powerful at the same time, deep into his nap after the sleepless nights of sex together started to add up. You couldn’t resist playing around with his hair, covering his eyes and face to be an asshole, pushing it back so he looked goofy and bald, weaving a tiny braid into his bangs. How did it stay so beautiful and perfect for three hundred years? This was a funny curse.One soft kiss to his mouth and he stayed asleep. Really funny.You heard the door click open, before Nayeon came inside and said loudly, “Yo, it’s me—”“Fucking shh,” you hissed at… “Johnny?”He was lumbering about in your entryway, like he always did because he was too tall for the door, but his mouth was wide open as he took in the incredibly weird sight. His shocked laugh was ear-piercing, unable to be quiet at all, “Were you… were you braiding his fucking hair, Frowns?”“Get out right now," you snapped.If he woke Jaehyun up, you were going to kill him.Johnny exited without protest, which was the only win you’d get, then you followed him and closed the door to muffle the noise of the pending argument.“What do you want,” you bit out aggressively.He gestured to the door with complete disgust. “Sehun was right? You’re just gonna dump me for this guy?”“Like you care!” It’d been days since you’d talked, you didn’t even want to know how many people he’d fucked since.“So you’re pissed at me, but you’re cool with him being an ancient fuckboy or whatever?!”“Maybe I am.”Johnny was going to roast the fuck out of you when he found out that the second you sensed Jaehyun changing for the better was the second you started falling for him—“Oh my fucking god, are you in love with him?” Johnny laughed in your face. “You hung around the palace this whole time ‘cause you wanna wear gowns and curl your fucking hair and sing songs with the woodland animals?!”That sounded… kind of nice.You’d been vague with Johnny about your intentions this whole time, but you finally had to deny it, “That is not what this is.”“That’s not what this is?” He waved his hands towards your long skirt and the white bow you put in your hair again. “Then what fucking is it?”“Did you get brain damage from all the drugs you’ve done or have you just never cared about my life?” Johnny wasn’t the brightest bulb in the fucking box but you didn’t think you had to spell this out for him so explicitly. He rolled his eyes. “If you’re trying to tell me this is about your fuckass stepmother and sister—”The rage swelled at an impossible speed and you ended up shouting at him, “It has always been about them!”This wasn’t something Jaehyun could find out before this week was over, you calmed yourself down so that this argument couldn’t be heard through the door. But there was no way you could ever calm your heart down from this broken rhythm.“Do you know how much money it was?” you asked Johnny quietly.When you first started hooking up, he got tired of you always having to dip to handle Yuna’s bullshit before he could sneak in morning sex or whatever. You told him the barebones outline then: that you owed the Jungs some money and had to do things they needed, then the rest of the context filled in after. But Nayeon, that stupid girl, she'd kept your secret until the end.He rolled his eyes and decided to be as assholey about it as possible, “What, like a thousand dollars?”“I owed the hospital, me… fifteen year old me, because I was all my dad had... I owed them one point two million dollars.”“What in the fuck?” Johnny gasped.“I thought he was going to survive the accident, so I told them to do everything.”Your dad broke a lot of bones and had burns plus some touchy internal bleeding, they even had to take out one of his kidneys, but the doctors said he should live when they were done. But then the treatments stopped working, and he was spending more time asleep than awake, and no one knew what was going on. So when the doctors asked for permission to try everything you begged your stepmom to help you save him.And Jessica had the money, she had it, she bragged constantly about how her dad had this great big fortune that was supposed to be passed down now that she was married. You didn’t understand why you had to fall to your knees for it, your dad was her husband. They.... loved each other?“I dropped out of high school because of it, I didn’t go to college because of it, I can’t get a job to help myself because of it,” you whispered to the outline of the roof on your forearm, the house you never saw again. “I signed a contract to pay her back as a teenager who didn’t know any better. And I still can’t… I can’t…”Every time you let your stepmother transfer the money out of your account, you thought about the nice woman from the Williamsburg Hospital financial department. She came to see you after the doctors had broken the news he was gone and asked if you were going to have your husband take care of the insurance papers so you could say goodbye. She was shocked when you told her you were only fifteen.Johnny did seem sympathetic… for a second, before he looked at you like you were stupid. “Get him to marry you, then. Easy answer.”“I don’t want that!”Jaehyun didn’t deserve that, you… you would never ask him to.“Just because you have tattoos and smoke a little weed on the weekends.” Johnny was acting like those were the biggest strikes against you when he knew full well they weren’t.“I will never change for anyone.”“You’re being stubborn.”The truth shredded your lungs at record speed, “It’s supposed to be her! If I convince the prince to pick Yuna, my stupid-ass stepsister, all of this goes away in return!”Johnny’s jaw dropped to the goddamn floor when he finally understood just what the fuck you were plotting. It landed right next to where your heart had rolled.“Do you know why I came up with this whole thing?" Your question was twinged with bitter laughter. "Because if I don’t disappear, they will follow me with this forever. Forever.”Yes, maybe Jaehyun would pay off your lingering debts if you asked nicely, fluttered your eyes, sealed it with a kiss. But you were well-versed in the evil energy that controlled Jessica and knew she would somehow force him into letting her stick around for the rest of your lives. Then she'd torment you until there was none of you left - for the humiliation she went through, for living a lower-class lifestyle after spending her money to save a man that still died, for going back on your promise to make her daughter a princess.For simply existing the way that you did.“No, no. I would rather be done with him than put either of us through that,” you murmured.Johnny rolled his eyes at your drama. “That loser would say yes to whatever you wanted.”Which is why you were in love with Jaehyun and not the idiot in front of you.You loved Jaehyun so much more than you ever thought was possible to love another human being, but you could never be together.“Are you fucking stupid! Listen to me!” The frustration started to get overwhelming and you shoved Johnny away so he wasn’t so close. You could feel the imminent collapse of the safe little kingdom you’d built in your delusions. “I’m not gonna fall in love with him or get married or become a… a royal! I’m going to make sure he picks her so that I can finally be freed from all this shit. Then I can come back home for good.”Convincing Jaehyun to marry that stupid girl was a level of betrayal you couldn’t possibly imagine, but he would have to understand a life being permanently tortured at his side was no life to live.“To do what?!” Johnny exclaimed.“Just fucking exist like I was supposed to, I don’t know!” You stuffed your face in your hands just in time to wipe the tears that dripped past your eyes, the horribleness of it all was a kick to the fucking spine. “None of this was supposed to happen, I wish it never happened.”Not meeting him, though. That might’ve been the best thing that had ever happened to you.But it never should’ve happened this way. You should’ve met Jaehyun on a stupid trip with your dad, after you complained the whole car ride up to Arlington and blew out his credit card in the palace gift shop.Johnny’s voice softened as he reached for your arm and you hated it all of it, “Blue—”You pulled your hands away so he could see the red emotion streaking your face, how goddamn serious you were about this. “What do you fucking want from me, dude? Why are you even here?”Fine, you dumped him for another guy, what the fuck ever. But why was he here? To rub it in that you’d most likely become available again in a matter of days? To make it clear he was back to skip the line or something?“Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve come. Sorry.” Johnny finally seemed the level of apologetic he should’ve been at the start, but it was too little, too late.“Yeah, whatever. Fuck off,” you grunted, unhappy.His mouth opened like he wanted to say something else, but he turned and slunk down the hallway with his tail between his legs instead. You watched him disappear, then wiped the frustrated sweat and horrid tears off your face as best as you could before sneaking back into your apartment. You sat down on the couch, wishing none of that had happened, and tried to let go of the streams of grief pouring through you.Jaehyun was still asleep, but his breath fluttered into consciousness as you pressed your hand against his hair again.“H-hey, your royal sleepiness,” your voice cracked and you hated it. “Did you still want to go to dinner?”He snuggled into your hand to trap you there with him and responded without opening his eyes, “Hmmm. No.”“I’ll let you go back to sleep, then.”Maybe it was better not to go, it wouldn’t be a good look to sob into your appetizer platter—“No. I wish to hold you.”His eyes were open then, pretty and sleepy and full of you, and you sunk into his outstretched arms even though you knew your heart should’ve been fused shut. The end of the week was not that far away - it wasn’t long before he would have to return and you would have to make sure he saw you as nothing more than a palace employee. Which felt so impossibly impossible, knowing the slightest brush of your fingertips against his unbandaged tattoo could light the tiniest fires across your emotional cortex.Jaehyun brought you so you were lying face-to-face and he was the only thing you could see. “Whatever is the matter?”You were going to miss this sosososososososo much.“Nothing. Nothing, I’m just… I’m okay.” For once. Despite everything.You kissed him softly, intending for that one kiss to be it. But like Jaehyun could sense all your secrets - lifechanging and not - he swept his lips over yours in a second kiss, fueled with a hidden passion you weren’t ready for. You went limp in his arms, unwilling to fight him or yourself, and committed your stupid brain to the hardest task of its life: memorizing everything. The curve of his body on yours, his fingers searching for yours to hold, his way of scraping your lip up before a soft kiss to taste the hidden essence of you. You gently holding the front of his throat, just like he did with you, so you could feel his lazy exhales.Surrounded by couch cushions, you and Jaehyun trapped yourselves there so you had no excuse to escape. Being under him felt safe enough to open yourself up to any and all of blooms of his imagination. A press of his mouth to the line of piercings in your right ear that was missing a particular pin, a subtle sweet blossom against your cheek, a nestling smooch on the underside of your jaw…. before his tongue traced down your neck and he exhaled, “I would like for you to tell me a particular thing.”“I can’t,” you whispered.Saying I love you like you knew he wanted would poison this memory for the rest of your life.His lips slicked away from your sunset tattoo with such heady pressure before his flirty face popped into your vision. “You cannot tell me the locations inspiring your other permanent tattoo images?”That pretty much felt like saying the same thing.Most of them were places he’d never heard of before, not to mention he’d already seen every tattoo over the endless times you’d been in bed together. But knowing him as well as you did… he certainly would not take no for an answer.“A lot are just faded memories now. Like the view of my old house’s roof.”Jaehyun took your offered forearm and left a tiny kiss right under the point of said roof.Tears started to billow in your eyes as you puffed out your chest slightly and said, “A field of flowers I always see on my drives to Williamsburg.” Not just any random field, the one of wildflowers covering the lot by the turn-in to your dad’s office in Blair Hall.He held your shoulders with such tender care as he lowered to kiss the flower stem at the center of your sternum with more reverence than ever before.You took his hand and dragged it across the pink and orange splotch on your neck he was obsessed with. “A trip to the Outer Banks where I laid on the beach the entire night drunk. I can still remember the sunset despite blacking out everything else.”He kissed that spot, too.Some of the swirls and loops and frivolous little patterns were just to fill the blank space on your skin and release whatever emotions you were holding in at the time. But Jaehyun couldn’t care less that you didn’t have a moving story for those, he left a kiss behind on every one, most fond of the little dots that were more like freckles than tattoos at this point.“Which is your most treasured?” he wondered softly.You sat up in strange unison, close to the point your noses brushed together, and you pressed his fingers against the length of your spine: the whale tattoo was the definition of who you were. But before Jaehyun could gently turn you so he could kiss it as well, you stopped him.And moved his hand to the back of your neck.You were unfortunately never going to forget this, forget him, forget that night under the stars, no matter how much you told Johnny you wanted to.Jaehyun leaned over your shoulder and kissed the smallest star in the corner, before he swept back around with his eyes closed so he could taste the memories of your first kiss still on your lips.Then your fingers were in the hem of his polo shirt, then it was off, then you were leaving behind a painted canvas of memories for him to savor - hands dancing over his strong shoulders, your nose brushing over the funny real freckle on his chest as you kissed his heartbeat. Lifting his left arm to your cheek so your real wrinkle could mirror the phantom one, before you kissed the tiny bit of ink.“Where was your favorite spot?” you breathed against his skin.His hands undid the tie of your shirt and it fluttered to the floor the next time you exhaled, and you found yourself being pulled into his lap so he could feel your bare torso pressed against his.As his fingers trailed up your spine, he hummed quietly, “Prior to or after?”“Both.”There was no such thing as knowing all of him yet. You greatest wish was to get there one day.You could hear the smile in Jaehyun's answer, “The sunny patch of grass by the cottage my family summered in.”Your skirt was only held together by a tie, too, so one practiced flick of his hands and you were completely bare, then you both raced to get his pants off as fast as you possibly could. You didn’t care about anything else, you were going to fuck him on the couch, in the shower, in your bed, wherever you could. There was nothing in you that craved romance right now. This was just raw, real life.He slipped inside you with no hesitation and the empty apartment echoed with your matching sighs - contented bliss from one and regretful lovesickness from the other.“After? How could claim I prefer any other location but this very spot… with you.”Jaehyun always came up with the most perfect thing to say. You didn’t understand how it was possible and you were sure you never would. — Your head lolled into your chest and fear startled you into consciousness, “Jaehyun? Jae?!”He wasn’t beside you in bed again.You'd ended up sitting against the wall and watching over him as he fell asleep after the last round of sleepy early-morning sex. You couldn’t fucking handle anything else, so you tried to catch every single breath he took until the sun came up… but you must’ve passed out for just a second. He couldn’t’ve just disappeared like this, there were so many things to do before he left, before you had to…You ran out of the room as fast as you could in search of him, “Jae, you can’t—what the hell?”“L-lady Chancellor,” Mark coughed in surprise.He was there in your shitty kitchen and had stopped stuffing things in a bag to instead stare at you with a beet red face and bugged out eyes. You glanced down and saw that your fake silk robe had come untied, giving away the fact that you only had underwear on underneath. You covered yourself up, but it was too late, you knew he saw it all. And Mark wasn’t a dumb man, he could figure out what a lacy underwear set meant here.But you still could not process the sight of him side-eyeing the stains on your rug. “W-what…… what are you doing here?” 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

You weren’t hungover, you knew you didn’t accidentally sleep a few days away and come to the end of the week without realizing. You'd been counting the days with laser precision.Jaehyun emerged from the bathroom, buttoned up from head to toe in a modern navy suit that Mark must’ve brought, and flinched when he saw you. What, did he think you were going to stay sleeping? When even your damn subconscious revolved around him?“We must return to the palace quickly,” he informed you after another second of silence. “Will you be coming or do you wish to stay?”He was using his prince voice again. Why was he using his prince voice again.There was only one answer, “I’ll come. Why, though?”He didn’t say anything, so Mark cleared his throat and responded, “Urgent matters.”Neither of them said anything more specific or even seemed like they'd cave to further questions. You weren’t sure if you were supposed to get nervous that this was the end or be fine knowing it was truly just palace matters you weren’t allowed to discuss on a technicality.Mark was about to zip up a duffle bag of Jaehyun’s clothes when you noticed something and stopped him. “Hey. Don’t forget all his shirts.”The obnoxiously American tee he’d come here in, the I ♡VAB tank, the shitty quality Walmart polo, the ruined date night button up, he couldn’t just leave those here.“I did not purchase these,” Jaehyun said quietly.“I bought them for you.”That’s what a girlfriend does.You couldn’t add that last part on when Mark was there, but it was the truth. You bought every silly little modern VBeach trinket that caught Jaehyun’s eye (with the money you didn’t have!!!!!!!) because… you didn’t want him to forget.Once you physically saw Mark stuffing the shirts away, you raced to your room and threw on jeans and a tee - an outfit combo you hadn’t worn in forever but was the easiest to deal with on this unknown journey to come. You raced back out there before they could escape on their own and were hot on their heels every step out of the apartment. And seeing a palace-issued BMW on the sidewalk in front of your rundown building was fucking hilarious.Watching Jaehyun walk by the tree he loved so much without so much as a single glance was definitely not.Something about the week off had changed Mark because he flashed a finger gun at you and said, “Shotgun?,” before he literally choked and remembered to use his manners, “Would you like to ride in the front?”You looked over to where Jaehyun was trying to figure out the door handle and sighed, “I’ll sit in the back. He’s never ridden in a car before.”If Mark didn’t get your relationship's underwear-shaped context clues before, things were pretty obvious now.After you buckled Jaehyun into his seat (which was a huge struggle, considering he wanted it to go over his arms so he was strapped the fuck in) you sat on the other side and then moved into the middle seat soon after. The color vividly drained from Jaehyun’s face as Mark whirred the car to life and his eyes closed as you started going down the street. Then, when Mark revved around the corner like this was a joy ride with his buddies, Jaehyun looked like he wanted to leap out of the car and walk back to Arlington himself.“Ohhhh, this sensation is unpleasant. Much fouler than the bus,” Jaehyun moaned as the nausea continued to overwhelm him. “It is unpleasant, Chancellor Mark, my stomach does not agree with this.”You dug around your purse at lightning speed and… found a Ferrero Rocher hidden in the bottom of it, right under the diary.Fucking magic.“Hey. Eat this.” You grabbed his hand and put the candy right in it, no time to waste on a weird back and forth. You loved Jaehyun so much but you did not want him to puke on you.His handsome features turned a beautiful shade of green when he saw what you’d given him. “No, I cannot…”Even though Mark was watching this whole fucking thing through the rearview mirror instead of keeping his eyes on the road, you pressed your hands right into Jaehyun’s face, which did enough to stop his shaking. Then you quietly gave him orders to follow, “Eat it, then close your eyes and take a nap. We’ll be back at the palace soon.”You kissed his cheek, the end of your spell to make Jaehyun do exactly what you wanted.Obedient as ever, he chowed through the stale chocolate and - just as your genius ass mind thought - his healthy, peachy color immediately returned. You helped him lean against the window so that his overheated cheek would cool the rest of him down and his eyes fluttered closed with the relieving sensation. Literally five seconds later, his lips were parted in his signature open-mouthed snore and he didn’t once react to Mark screeching out onto the highway like a maniac.You pinched Jaehyun’s fingers in yours to check that he was only sleeping and were satisfied when he unconsciously fidgeted at the feeling.After, you felt free enough to send a text that had been lurking in the back of your mind for days.

[10:24 am] you: longest we’ve ever gone wo talking
[10:24 am] you: sorry
[10:25 am] you: had to scurry back with HRH but talk when im home? please? ILY

If there ever was a time you needed girl talk, this was it. Nayeon was the only one left on this earth who could make you feel sane again.And true to the BFFF pact of never ignoring a text, she replied back right away.

[10:26 am] nananana BATMAN: BIGGEST SORRY EVER.
[10:26 am] nananana BATMAN: my Bi had to leave for a surprise family thing so yes!!! yes yes yes
[10:26 am] nananana BATMAN: enjoy ur honeymoon ;***** ILY

My Bi? This bitch was so gone.And true to the other BFFF pact of doing everything together - like falling in love - you glanced over at Jaehyun one more time. The sight of his cheek squished and lips puffed out against the window while he slept peacefully had a goofy smile spreading on your face. He was so cute, everything he did was just so.... you couldn't get emotional about that. “Can you stop?” Mark sniped from the front. “It’s distracting in the rearview.”Figuring you had nothing to lose with him anymore, you decided to be honest, “Sorry. I get fucking worried when he sleeps.”Once Jaehyun told you the truth of why he was so exhausted all the time, you never could get it out of your mind. Was he just dreaming or was it something else? Something worse?Mark’s expression had softened the next time you caught eyes. But he still kept his real feelings tight to his chest and instead casually wondered, “How did you and the prince, ahem, spend your vacation?”He was prying about the robe and the shirts and you managing to dig your controlling little fingers into Jaehyun even further. But as soon as you left your apartment, the memories were sealed inside for you to keep. Not even he could have them.“I showed him my VBeach, that’s all,” was your soft answer.So Jaehyun was able to finally understand why you considered yourself from there...“Ugh, I guess I’ll have to get used to this drive. Did it once in college just to watch UVA get fucking crushed in hoops.”“Are we cursing now?” You went with teasing Mark instead of the more insane option - which was wondering if he was implying he needed to get used to this drive… 'cause he’d have to make it often if you and Jaehyun were together.Now that the barriers between you had been broken in every way, Mark was surprisingly honest in return, “A week off and I’m kinda over this shit. it’s not been easy for me, you know.”“I never thought it wasn’t.” You shit talked him as much as you could, but it was never lost on you that he was literally in charge of shaping an entire person.Insane shit.“Always thought it was such a stupid job, which is saying something ‘cause I wanted to be a SoundCloud rapper instead," he laughed. "I only took over ‘cause my dad and granddad did it, never understood why. But he kinda feels like my brother now. It’s so weird.”You’d been two sides of the same coin all along.Jaehyun’s breathing caught like he could sense you were shit talking him, then he softly, limply slid over the seats, falling straight into your lap with another loud snore. You smoothed the hair out of his eyes and laughed softly, “Yeah. He has a way of catching you off guard.”“With everything I’ve read, I never would’ve expected him to be like this,” Mark admitted with a funny little smile. “The textbooks make you think of a powerful prince with huge power and influence, and he’s not that. Or, not always.”Or, Jaehyun had had both sides ingrained in him and was intelligent enough to know how to manage being a real person with that insane responsibility.“Even princes are just dudes with some shiny jewelry,” you murmured.You poked your finger into Jaehyun’s soft cheek, ding dong, and he still slept.Mark watched the affectionate display and said out of nowhere, “I wanted to apologize.”“For what? I’ll ignore you judging me.”“For exactly that. I can’t even remember the last time we had a real conversation…”He trailed off, not wanting to say his full thought, so you filled it in for him after a wry, wry chuckle, “That wasn’t just you yelling at me, finish the sentence.”Mark looked so sheepish in the rearview when he nodded, but you couldn’t be mad. You were both so caught up in your protective agendas that you never fully accepted you were on the same side and had the same goals. And this wasn’t a bad place to be, you liked knowing you had an ally in your corner when he wasn’t pissing you off.“I mean, I tell lame losers like you to fuck off on the daily.” The sassy bite in your tone made Mark accelerate the car by accident, before you said in soft concession, “I’ll try to tone it down now.”If you, you know, had the chance to.You watched the plain plains of Virginia speed by as Jaehyun slept soundly on your lap and and Mark switched on a trap banger playlist that was way more appropriate for a club than a royal vehicle.And you could kinda see it.Driving back and forth to visit each other, giving Mark hell for his frat bro driving skills and playlist fouls, getting Jaehyun to a point where he didn’t pass out every time you went above 30 mph. Gathering up the courage to get behind the wheel again.Or maybe, if your dad pulled some more fucking strings from the stars he lived in… maybe you didn’t have to get used to this drive. Maybe you could cut out the middleman and just… walk from one end of the palace to another. — You started to get nervous when the palace's golden roof came into view through the windshield, then you felt positively vomitrocious as you pulled into the driveway.When Mark’s quiet words filtered into your ear, “You should wake him up now,” you wanted to become one with the leather car seat to never feel another emotion again.But you did as you were told.You held Jaehyun’s cheeks and beckoned softly, “Yo.”After a quick kiss you made sure your ponytail covered up the view of, his perfect eyes opened and he smiled sleepily up at you, happy to be reunited. Then he sat up so fast he almost tore your nose off, the smile disappeared, and out came his manners again, “I apologize for slumbering in an untoward position, it is not appropriate.”You were so confused. “It’s fine, you’ve done worse?”Way worse? He was mad at himself for sleeping in your lap? Did he not remember any of the extremely hot sex you’d had?When you tried to reach for his hand and he ignored that to watch the palace view out the window, you and Mark made weird eye contact through the mirror.What the hell was going on?Jaehyun couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. You were still detangling yourself from the seatbelt by the time he was already striding towards the private palace entrance. Mark chased after him, trying to get him to slow down, “Your schedule has been carefully crafted, sir, no need to rush. We may meet as you requested whenever—”“Immediately.” Jaehyun injected some serious authority in his tone when Mark didn’t do as he said, “Immediately, Chancellor Mark, why do you loiter as such.”Mark gestured back towards the car and fought for you for the first time, “What about the Lady Chancellor?”“What about her?”You had never heard Jaehyun sound that… cold before. It was downright terrifying. Worse than that was the fact that he didn’t even spare another glance towards you, you were forced to watch his back retreat into the palace with no goodbye.Mark waved you down with an apologetic look and matching words, “He’s probably freaked out from the ride, I’ll come get you later.”“Sure,” you whispered.Why did it feel like he was not going to do that?You grabbed your bag and retraced the familiar escape pathways to sneak back to your room without… anyone… seeing. And everything was kinda just out and about where you left it. Your bedsheets were still messed up, half your makeup was scattered across the bathroom counter, you could see the sigil pin sparkling where you’d thrown it on the floor. It was ironic to think of how things felt overwhelming to the point of self-destruction a week ago and how much clearer they should’ve been now… only they still weren’t.Then you saw a gorgeous navy gown draped across the bedspread and felt for a moment like you were transported to the era Jaehyun grew up in. You physically had to grip your shattered phone to make sure you were in the present day—“You are back.”It figured that you’d be here for less than five minutes and already have Solar scaring the shit out of you. You kinda missed her random drop-ins, she and Nayeon both enjoyed terrorizing you that way.You waved at her, already feeling better. “Hey, yeah! It’s good to see you…”“The dreams, did they help you?” What? “Were they able to guide you in shaping your future?”What in the fuck was this chick talking about?“I had some weird dreams, yeah. I don’t…” You were more than a little confused and weirded out here. “Um, I don’t believe in the whole dream thing, though.”It wasn’t exactly fun to admit that the dreams you had while trapped in the body of the lady Jaehyun was supposed to marry had done some fucked-up damage to your psyche. But you weren't sure if you could say the dreams shaped your future? You had no fucking clue… they certainly made you maximize the amount of affection you gave him in the time you spent together. You really wished you'd been able to see your dad once in all of it.Solar held your hand in both of hers and you felt a strange lack of warmth radiating from her skin. “Did you at least tell the prince you loved him?”The tattoo on the back of your neck itched so hard it was almost like you got burned.You didn’t have a coherent response to give her. “No, I… didn’t. W-why would I have done that?”But there was no use in hiding anything anymore, Solar always knew everything before you knew it yourself.“Do so with haste, do so with haste!” Her cold hands burned into your cheeks as she grasped your face and met your gaze with tears in her eyes. “True love is able to overcome anything it encounters.”Then you actually had the dumbass fucking thought that if you told Jaehyun you loved him… everything, and you meant everything, about your situation would turn out to be okay. Which was one hundred percent insane and not even fueled by any drugs you’d done recently.“I’m not his…” You couldn’t even bring yourself to say the two simple words true love. “Am I?”“You kissed him and he was awakened.”But you didn’t kiss him until the—No.The first time you kissed wasn’t at Eunbi’s birthday party.You scrambled for your phone and scrolled back through weeks and weeks of photos - silly snapshots of Lady Dawon and Lady Solbin, selfies of you and Nayeon, test shots for Yuna, and undercover stalker pics of Jaehyun while he was laughing - to the selfie you’d sent the friend group on your first day here. Of you pretending to kiss the outline of Jaehyun's official portrait.It was a roundabout kiss, but you’d… kissed him.Solar had the dress in her arms the next time you looked at her and she handed it to you, saying, “Put this on and go to him.”“Where did you even get this from?” It definitely wasn’t yours, you had never spent money on anything as elegant… or as modest before. You were pretty sure it’d cover everything up to your neck, lol. “It was fashioned after the dress the Lady of the Violets was supposed to wear on the day she got engaged.”Fucking on the nose, huh?The buttery fabric almost fell apart in your hands and you laughed, “Do you only show up just to give me gorgeous things to wear? You’re like my fairy godmother.”Solar went still for a looooooong second that totally freaked you out. Then she said with such mourning in her tone, “It is what a sister does.”What?A familiar yet confusing droplet of tears stung your eyes as she held out a hand for you to follow her into your dressing room. “Come, come. The jewelry as well, it has to be perfect.”You wanted to tell her you weren’t actually getting engaged - no, you couldn’t get engaged right now, since you wanted your friends and family to be there when it happened. You’d never even had a fucking boyfriend, so how were you supposed to know what to do before telling a boy that you loved him for the first time?But Solar was on a mission.Which for her meant changing out every piercing you had for a stud of real diamonds, tying you up with a strand of sapphires mixed with pearls that you knew cost more than everything you owned in your entire life. Your hair tumbled out of your messy pony and she brushed it out like a fresh maiden’s, the cherry on top was a matching diamond clip that made it look like you were wearing half of a tiara. No makeup beyond the faded, yet still fresh remnants from the night before, no heels since that’s where you drew the line.You had no idea who the hell was staring back at you from the mirror, in the high-necked gown with the shimmering chiffon sleeves that sparkled like stars every time she moved. She was a fucking princess.“Beautiful, my lady,” Solar whispered as she stared at you, then gave you space to process.But not quite finished yet.You slipped your hands into the bottom of your bag, to something that hadn’t moved since the day you’d gotten it. You fished out the finishing touch for this once-in-a-lifetime fit - the Jeong family bracelet, that just sparkled on your wrist below your hand that was still empty. As of now.This was legit insane. But Jaehyun didn’t deserve anything less.You checked the journal screenshots as you walked to his chambers, since he held that precious bit of your heart with him. You wanted to know what you could expect from this, what you were supposed to do, what things you needed to say. But you got to the page marked Engagement Proceedings and there was a long line of question marks in your father’s handwriting, followed by:

There was no record kept of the official customs that would have occurred for the prince’s engagement, as he did not make it to this day - see the controversy of his comatose state. Records should have been kept by his mother, the Queen, but they seem to have been lost in her grief.

You almost slipped on a sudden spill of nervousness.But as soon as you spotted Jaehyun through the crack in his bedroom door, calmness swept you back. It didn’t even matter to you that he was dressed up as the prince again and the Jae who stayed in your tiny VBeach apartment was gone. You knew who he was, always.As you never forgot to do, you knocked on the doorframe to warn him, before calling, “Hey, you.”He glanced over and kept his smile from fully blooming since there were a bunch of palace workers running around his room.You hid behind the door, feeling stupid and shy and not ready for him to see you, but you took a deep breath and went for it, “Did you want to go on a walk with me? We could talk about some things.”A thing. One thing. One thing he’d been waiting for.Jaehyun’s strange attitude from the car picked back up, “I will not be able to.”You stayed calm, it seemed like something stressful was was about to go down based on the flurry of overcoat action inside. “Hmm? Did you have an event going on I didn’t know about?“A fitting for my overcoat for the engagement announcement tonight.”The most penetrating blackout possible stabbed into the vulnerable link between your head and your heart. A true eternity passed while you were processing what exactly he just said, only for you to hear the resonating T in tonight and discovered you were trapped in the same moment.Only… you were now devoid of enough emotion to handle asking the outright question, “Ah. You’ve picked someone, then?”“Indeed,” Jaehyun confirmed with a reflective lack of emotion.“Who?”He didn’t answer your dumbass question, he just continued inspecting the coats the tailors were laying out for him. When his fingers brushed over a jacket that looked like it was spun from a snippet of cloudless sky, the feelings began to scrape back into you one by one, leaving a ruined, gory scene behind.The lump in your throat was already choking you out. “D-did you need help deciding what to wear?”“No.”“Did you need help with anything else?” Your strength, your fight, your capacity to push back on this sudden surprise were all leaking out of you after this sharp, unexpected puncture.And you honestly wish Jaehyun would’ve continued to blow you off instead of gesturing to his arm and saying what he said next, “How might I obscure the permanent tattoo image from view?”Why did that make the puncture wound feel like he just fucking stabbed you and opened up your chest for the world to see. Everything was pouring out of you now, the plain, painful love escaped your heart in these horrible waterfalls. You glanced at his elbow, concealed by the neat fit of his suit jacket, and answered him barely above a whisper, “Ask Chancellor Mark for something called concealer. It should do the trick.”Enough to hide the memory of you for only him to remember. Or regret.“Thank you,” Jaehyun said, no glance for you spared away from the coats.“Congrats, your highness. Super cool that you found someone.” Maybe more of a sarcastic sentiment than you intended it to be. That was… what you wanted for him, after all.You left before Jaehyun could say anything else. His message was delivered.Your brain didn’t even let you collapse into a spiral, it only craved confirmation from a third party. You couldn’t spiral until you knew for sure this wasn’t just a weird side effect from… you didn’t know, everything. Jaehyun was acting too fucking bizarre for you to just accept this with no protest.And then it hit you.Maybe he took your stressed-out words to heart and decided that marrying Eunbi was the best solution to the problems he thought you had. And he was acting like he didn’t give a shit about you so no one in the palace knew he wanted to continue your relationship in secret. Nayeon had been so positive when you talked and she'd also told you Eunbi had left their love bubble for a surprise meeting with her family. You were almost convinced this had to be true.And while it wasn’t the perfect happy ending that you’d deluded yourself into wanting, you would do anything to make this mismatched puzzle fit. That’s how much you loved him.You just needed to be told what the hell was going on.“Chancellor Mark, a—moment.”One step into the head chancellor's private office and you saw Mark was indeed polishing a massive diamond ring. A second blackout hit, so much harder than you were ready for... like your body was telling you that it didn’t want to hear or see again.By the time you blinked, the shiny bauble was hidden behind Mark’s back and he was speaking quickly, “Apologies, I have limited time and everything needs to be pristine for tonight.”The way he couldn’t look you in the eye in any capacity was enough confirmation.But you just had to fucking ask, “Who?”“You weren’t told?”Mark seemed genuinely surprised that you were in the dark about this turn of events, which had to mean he was in on the scheme involving Eunbi—“I surely thought that your… stepsister… would have said something, but perhaps there's been a delay.”The entire world spun around you as its unwanted center and your left wrist suddenly screamed with a sudden burst of pain. One of the diamonds in your bracelet had got caught between your tender skin and the rough doorframe when you’d reached out to catch yourself from fainting."That was an interesting piece of information to find out, by the way," he said quietly. "How did you keep it a secret from us for this long?"How did Mark know? Did someone say something?“Sorry for lying,” you whispered.You had no idea why the fuck you were saying sorry. You didn’t know why the fuck any of this was happening.Now knocked into the tornado of realizing that Jaehyun was hours away from proposing to Yuna, you got caught up in the throes of panic and began to fidget. It must've been obvious enough that Mark got a full glimpse at the ridiculous outfit you were wearing. His face suddenly slid into such horrible embarrassment on your behalf and he began apologizing, “I’m sorry, he has been acting so fucking wack...”“I’m here to tender my resignation.”Was I’m here to tender my resignation something actual people said? You wouldn’t know, you’d never had a job to quit before.His hands covered his mouth in shock. “You’re resigning?”The entire world stood still on its axis and you had enough sudden peace to say what you needed, “The secret deal I made with the prince back then was that I’d help him find a wife.”And that was fucking nailed, so.“Maybe give it a day or something, he’ll… I don’t know.” The more frantic Mark got, the more your feelings slid into a bottomless pit you had no way of reaching. “I’m so sorry. I thought he was overcome with his feelings for you and that’s why he—”Your fingers drifted to the lingering spot of pain on your left wrist.“Do I need to return this?” You interrupted him so loudly that it hurt your ears, unwilling to hear Mark’s dumbass theory about how Jaehyun rushed back here just to pick you.“What?”“The bracelet he gave me, I know it’s part of the set given to the future princess. Do I have to give it back?”When your words didn’t register in his loser brain, you lifted your arm and shook the stupid string of diamonds in his vision. It rattled your bones with such terrifying anger you weren’t sure if Mark or the palace was going to survive your implosion.Mark was as completely lost with how to handle this as you were. “That was a gift? No?”“I fucking understand,” you snapped.This was the most awkward thing that had ever happened to you.You were on the brink of true terror and Mark was standing there staring at you like a Sim from that fucking game. And that was when your brain kicked in, making you remember what was delivered to your inbox in the tired hours of the morning as you watched over the sleeping prince. Your eyes were so blurry with tears it took you three tries to take the right fucking screenshot to send to Mark.His phone pinged and his face scrunched with confusion as he read it. “What is this?”“A list of political science professors at Georgetown,” you murmured. “In case his highness re-discovers his interest in politics.”That was your final gift to him, in exchange for every beautiful thing he’d given you.“Lady Chancellor, don’t do this…” Mark tried to stop you from going, but there was nothing left for you here. “Wait! Blue!”The burning sensation trailed down your neck and covered your entire spine.“Seeya around, dude,” you called over your shoulder. “Text me sometime.”You said that knowing Mark would be stupid enough to send over a tidbit regarding the prince every once in a while.This dress had to go, you had to get out of it before you clawed it to pieces while still trapped inside, but Solar was nowhere to be found. Which was weird as hell, considering all of that was the kind of thing she would’ve eavesdropped on before. But you also didn’t care. You couldn’t care. You just had to go. One stop left between you and freedom.Yuna opened the door to their suite when you knocked, made a disgusted face, and immediately tried to close it in your face. “Go away. I hate you.”Not after this, she wouldn’t.“Jessica!” you managed to call inside before it was shut.The diamonds stung your thigh as your hand nervously bounced over and over again.Jessica was a sprinkle more welcoming when she replaced her daughter at the door, “What are you doing here? Has the prince finally returned from his unknown sabbatical—”“May I speak to you, please? In private?” you interrupted. Once she caught a glimpse of how out-of-character you were dressed, her face soured in such immediate disappointment that you almost burst out laughing knowing what you were about to say. You stole some tiny satisfaction from hearing her fume as you walked down the hall, far enough away that the private destruction of your heart would have no witnesses.Then you just said it, “His highness has returned and will propose to Yuna tonight.”Didn’t hurt you to say it out loud as much as you anticipated. But you knew that when you were alone tonight, your vocal cords were going to beg to be ripped out.She choked on the next breath she took, “W-what did you say?"“He revealed as much once we...” Fucking hell, at least she was too gassed up to notice the slip up, “Once I arrived back to the palace. I have seen the ring myself, but if you don’t believe me, Chancellor Mark has also confirmed it.”It was a big fat fucking rock.Were you allowed to say it was tacky and didn’t match the bracelet? Because it was tacky and didn’t match the bracelet.“Oh my god.” Joyous tears of victory started streaming down her face. “My darling girl is going to be a princess.”Yup, your stepsister definitely wouldn’t need her happy vitamins anymore.Jessica’s instinct, of fucking course, was to discard you in the trash and go celebrate with her lovely daughter. But your nails dug into her arm to stop her from leaving, so you could remind her of a promise you were about to make unbreakable, “If I recall, that is me completing my end of the deal.”She pulled herself away as if she could sense your power and shook her head. “No, no. No, you’ve gotten her this far, she won’t survive without you.”Was she fucking joking?“Not to mention it would be inappropriate to inform his highness of what has transpired between us, let alone to ask him to replace the funds you still owe. No, I think it best if you stayed," she finished speaking and added a resolute final shake of her head.You didn’t dare touch her again (too scared you’d snap her in fucking two if you did!!) but you took such a threatening step forward Jessica almost fell into the decorative vase behind her.Then your voice and your soul cracked into itty bitty unfixable pieces, “Just let me go. Please,” that one syllable was so hoarse it was barely audible, “I don’t want to have to fucking beg again, not like you made me.”Jessica played so dumb, “I did no such thing.”She made you sit on your knees and beg her like a dog in the hospital waiting room - so much so that every other patient stared - just to make sure she’d pay for all of your dad’s treatments.“I begged you to help me save my dad, then you held it over my held like I committed a crime.” You shook your head as the cold memories began to swallow you up. “What have I ever done to you? I don’t get it...”“You ruined this family!" Jessica shouted in your face. "After he was never a real husband or father to us because of you!”You could say all sorts of awful things to piss her off, but you were swept under the same tidal wave of grief that had almost killed you as a teenager. Your dad was the last person who should be blamed here - you were too young to know the details of their marriage but he never would’ve hurt them like she was trying to get revenge for.You let out a shuddering sigh and out fell your new deal, “So, let the one person who can both hurt and expose you disappear forever.”Disappearing forever sounded pretty fucking ideal at this point.Jessica seemed as skeptical as ever. “We’ll never see you again?”“Never.” You mustered the energy to get one last dig in, “It’s not like you ever gave a shit about coming to Virginia Beach.”The one good thing you could say about her was that she had the decency to leave that memory alone.“If you ever come to the palace again—”You rolled your eyes at the threat attempt. “Don’t hurt yourself trying to bully me. You don’t need to.”She was so afraid that you’d ruin things by popping up out of the Blue when they least expected it, but… it was just too much to even think about them being together. How would you be able to handle it in person?“Just remember, wear soft makeup and have only kind things to say. The prince likes the outdoors and sweet foods and he still really doesn’t know a lot about modern stuff, so…” You started to get choked up which was pretty much the worst possible thing to do in front of her, “M-make sure she’s patient with him.”Lord knows that was out of your stepsister's fucking wheelhouse, but you had to try.There was an entire journal of hints you could parrot out for them to pick through when you were gone. But you felt so selfishly protective over it that you’d rather the research never see the light of day again than have it be ruined in your stepsister’s hands.“That’s all?” Jessica's disbelieving face met your What the fuck do you want me to say face in one last stare-down your entire relationship had been building towards. “I swore you were trying to sneak into the proceedings this whole time.”You did and you won……… then you lost.“You don’t know anything about me,” you murmured.Then you hugged yourself closely, the only person you had left, and got the fuck out of there.You had to pass by the Hall of Portraits on your way to the palace exit and the silence radiating from it was so uncomfortable you were drawn to go inside. You were hit by the hidden hint of someone crying underneath the silence and it became impossible not to stop at the portrait of the Lady of the Violets. You could feel how heavy her sadness had grown in the years since she’d been painted and how it outlined your matching reflection in the glass. The high neck of your pointless blue gown choked out the same sorrow that painted the wrinkle by your mouth.At least she didn’t know him in real life. At least he was just messing around behind her back with no intentions of commitment. At least she was able to move on and live a long, happy life with someone else.You fell in love, then led him straight into the arms of the enemy… for what?Was it worth it?“Sorry,” you whispered to your doppelgänger. “I’m so fucking sorry.”And the tears fell from your eyes.You dashed out of the fucking place that haunted you and like you could almost predict, Solar was on your heels right away. Sensing an escape before you were even headed in that direction, she called out for you, “My lady! Where are you going?!”“Home!” You were going to run the miles back to VBeach if you had to. After that, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that you would keep going to get as far away from here as possible.“Did you confess your love to the prince?!”You needed to get home, yes, but what you really needed was a hug from your dad. You needed him, you didn’t know where your life was going without him.When the palace exit was in sight, Solar’s cold hand closed around your forearm and she begged you in a way that haunted your soul, “You can’t leave me here, you can’t!”“I’m sorry, you can come if you want.” You had no idea what the fuck she was going to do in VBeach, but you were so overwhelmed you just agreed to get out of there.But even with that, Solar still wouldn’t let go. “Please go and tell him, please, only true love can fix what I’ve done.”True love never had anything to do with this. The love had to be two-sided for it to be true (even a dumbass bitch like you knew that) and it was so obvious that you’d been the only one who had fallen into the depths of it.Solar snatched up your other arm in hopes of manhandling you into staying and whatever grip you had left on your sanity slipped.“Let go.” When you slammed your body into hers and she didn’t budge, you started to get frantic, “Get off me. Get the fuck off of me!”You managed to pry her fingers away and stumbled out past the marble flooring, falling to the ground in a heap of pain and wispy fabric. The navy blue skirt coated with dirt as you tried to crawl away from her, hoping she’d lose track of you if you hid by the bushes. A defeated exhale ripped through her body as she came to an extreme halt in the doorway, like she couldn't cross the palace walls or something fucking weird. She didn’t take another step out to catch you where you’d fallen, wouldn’t even lift her arm out to reach for your foot.From where you were sitting, heartbroken amongst the patches of sweet summer grass, you turned over your shoulder to see Solar crying in total frustration. And all you could do was cry softly in return, “Sorry. I’m so… I’m so sorry.”But you had to go home. — The musty vibe from the train - you splurged, knowing you’d freak out on the bus -  poured off of you when you pushed the apartment door open.At first you thought you were robbed or something, considering all the lights were on and it was a total mess inside. But Nayeon’s door was open and you could see her lying in her bed.“Hey, Na. You’re here?”You thought she’d be frolicking through the flowers now that she had her true love Eunbi and that you could fucking cry in solitude tonight. The ride back to VBeach was pure hell - you'd sat next to a kind old lady who talked to you about knitting the whole time and you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her to shut the fuck up.After she didn’t respond, you snuck into her room and crawled right into bed next to her. After realizing you'd dripped dirt from your skirt all over her bedspread, you had the extremely gross thought that you could pay for her laundry now that you had… money.You had no idea how long you both just laid there and stared at the ceiling light nipple, not saying anything.Then she got all fucking choked up, “S-sorry.”“You already texted me, I’m not mad.” Your fight felt horrible at the time, but now you wished you listened to her and pressed the possibility of Princess Eunbi harder.“I wasn’t talking about that.” Her voice got even quieter and you knew what was coming before she said it, “He got engaged, right?”You felt your body falling into the mattress, a sinkhole of distress ready to take you away and abandon you on some shit-ass cold-ass tundra.“Her parents called, said they had to be in Arlington as a family for the announcement tonight. And that her new fiancé’s family would be meeting her there.”With no energy left to turn over and fully look at her, you peeked out of the corner of your eye and watched Nayeon wipe a tear away from hers. You lost every bit of feeling possible. Cold apathy crept up your limbs and you knew once it froze into the depths of your heart things would be so much better.“Yup,” you confirmed, eyes slipping back to the ceiling.Her hand moved over the bed to hold yours and you were struck by how blazing hot it was. “So, you’re free now?”The definition of the freedom you were experiencing was different from what it meant to actually be free, you’re sure.“Yup.” Your attempt at sympathy fucking flopped because you were losing the ability to feel in general, “Sucks for you, though. She seemed… cool. When she wasn’t busy being a total cunt.”An amused exhale escaped from Nayeon’s mouth as you continued to lie there in silence together. Of course you happened to go through the same epic heartbreak at the same time, the BFFF club could never do anything apart. It was better knowing she was stuck in the same sinking boat... at least you could cling onto each other in the end times.Then her chipper tone blasted out your ear, “Hey, it’s me.”Was she losing it? “I’m right here…”Sehun started grumbling so hard that her phone speaker physically crackled, “Seriously? Again? Our deal was you got me out of jail for free tattoos every once in a while. This is not once in a while.”Nayeon was always the genius one.“Then make sure no one ever fucks us again,” she snarled back at him, wiping away another hurt tear. And you felt horrible, knowing that Eunbi wanted nothing to do with this in the first place. She said so herself, back when you weren’t even friends.“Do you mean fucks or fucks—”“Goodbye!”She hung up before Sehun could finish his stupid joke and silent stillness filled the room again. The silence was seasoned by a tiny amount of dread, knowing what going back to the tattoo shop would stir in you. But…“Well, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” you sighed with a bite of sarcasm. “Let’s go.”Neither of you bothered to get ready or do anything to prep, you just rolled out of bed, linked arms, and found yourself on the streets right after. It was stupidly appropriate that the night had turned into one of the grossest for a VBeach summer, chilly and misty with not a drop of accompanying warmth to chase you. There was no one out besides the two of you for a solid ten minutes, which was good… if you saw a happy couple frolicking around there were no guesses as to what you’d do.Then... you walked by a teen couple aggressively making out while draped over the hood of their car at the gas station.You and Nayeon both burst out cackling at the same time. One morsel of your depression disappeared as you watched them try to swallow each other from a variety of different angles. That feeling was relatable for sure.She draped an arm around your shoulders and teased, “It’s still early. Should we go out after and make out with people?”You shrugged. “Yeah, why not.”It’s not like you would be cheating on anyone! So!“I think our DJ era should be cancelled.” Nayeon was definitely in a weird mood but you were going along with it since chatter was better than the alternative. “Should we move to New York and date businessmen? Businesspeople?”“No businesspeople,” you laughed. “I could fuck an athlete, though.”“Bitch, you like politicians, which I would…” She realized what she was saying halfway through but she couldn’t stop the rest of it from coming out, “…never have thought.”You never would’ve thought that your type would evolve towards a man that classy, considering your historical track record. You could only hope that one day he’d be able to call himself a politician again, he'd def be one of those that you didn’t mind getting a fundraising email for.After a pointed shimmy of your boobs, you played along with the joke, “Yep. Gonna go right to DC and fuck the youngest, hottest senator.”It would be your Marilyn Monroe moment. Monhoe, even—She nudged you in the side and you hated every second of the insane thrill your idiot brain put you through, but she wouldn’t’ve reacted like that if it was him. It was just Johnny waiting for you outside of C.U.N.T…attoo, the last person on earth you wanted to see.You were immediately bitchy with him in a way you never were, “What are you doing here? Don’t you have girls to go fuck?”“This is my roommate’s tattoo shop, bitch?” Johnny gave it back to you as good as he could and decided to go even further into assholery, “What the fuck are you wearing, by the way?”The long skirt and sleeves had protected you during your trip home, keeping you cozy and warm without a jacket or a blanket or a… person to do so. The skirt was dirty as hell and torn over the knee but you could still tell how beautiful it was supposed to be, like it was made just for the moment that never was.Nayeon covered her mouth with a shaky hand as she looked your once-perfect outfit up and down. “Oh, I didn’t even notice. I got so used to the thought of you being a pr—”“Maybe just shut up, both of you,” you muttered.You didn’t need her to finish the end of that sentence.“I, uh.” Johnny cleared his throat and looked so awkward as he rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding a glance at you as he figured out what to say. “S had to bounce all of a sudden, then I saw some shit on Insta. Figured this was tonight’s spot.”You knew he hate followed Yuna. And this was his weird way of saying sorry.Why did that make the shittiness stir in your chest again? He wasn’t supposed to care, he was supposed to be fucking happy that you were here single like this. He wasn’t supposed to feel bad for you and you really needed him not to.Nayeon had your back, even if she was very aggressive about it, “If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m making them give you a Dora the Explorer tattoo.”Johnny raised his hands in defeat, but you hoped he felt your quiet appreciation for whatever he was trying to do here.“Who’s ready for their fucking…” Sehun bellowed as soon as he saw your group, then just as quickly trailed off when he noticed the vibes were bad. “Tattoos?”“Just don’t talk,” Nayeon sighed.He physically shut his mouth when she walked by him to sit in a chair without asking permission to. Lmao.“I’m getting a portrait of Lewis Hamilton,” Johnny announced to cut the tension, then topped it off with a flex of his arms that, unfortunately, did nothing for you. “I have all my idols tattooed. Optimus Prime, Michael Jordan, the rat from Ratatouille…”Good thing he revealed that after you stopped having sex with him because where the fuck was that last tattoo?!“Who the fuck is Lewis Hamilton?” Before Johnny could answer her question seriously, Nayeon held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t answer, I don’t care.” She turned to Seulgi and gave her instructions for what she was envisioning, “I don’t care where or what it looks like, but I want a pine tree. Those things last forever.”Oh, so this was going to be a lovesick metaphor tattoo session. Not a great sign for what was to come.Sehun flicked your ear and wondered, “You?”You always had an answer for him when he asked, but… it was bad this time. You had to really take a moment, otherwise you were going to lose control. “I need a sec to decide.”“Since when have you ever had a thought in your airhead ass brain, Blue?”You gave Johnny the finger for his comment and everyone laughed, which made some soft happiness gently warm your limbs—And of course, Sehun had to ruin the mood when he grabbed your wrist from where it was lifted and started fucking around, “That’s a bougie ass bracelet, where’d you get it? Something new from our majestic overlord…?”“Mind your fucking business,” Nayeon snarled aggressively.Your fingers dipped to hold the uneven diamonds, a silly source of comfort that you knew you shouldn’t be clinging to.Sehun was obviously expecting a laugh from his buddy at least and instead froze like a little lizard man when not a single one of you cracked a smile, Johnny included. In fact, he was the one who looked the most upset with his roommate and was only holding back from a fight because of bro code.And he was the one to change the subject and ask Nayeon, “B T W, did you really tell Hong to fuck off from our whole friend group when you broke up with him? I haven’t seen him in ages.”Good for her.You kinda wished you could’ve done the same on your way out of the palace.“He asked me to be a stay-at-home girlfriend, I deserved it.” Nayeon didn’t seem remotely bothered while discussing her previous ex and that’s when you knew her feelings for Eunbi were too damn real for her to handle.And it was clear Johnny thought he was doing her a favor by therapizing their breakup or whatever, “Yeah, he’s a douche and a bad DJ, but you’ve been dating forever—”“If I hear one more non-tattoo related word from anyone before we’re done, one of those is going to become a murder weapon,” you threatened him, tilting your head right to the row of tattoo guns.Nayeon smiled at you with the softest tears beaded in her eyes.You sat in the empty guest chair you’d never used before while the two of them got their tattoos, feeling oddly supported by your best friend and your… ex? You didn’t have it in you to question Johnny’s motivations right now, you were just glad they hadn’t left you alone.They put on the TV for background noise and worked in silence since the gossip of the hour was def depressing AF. You didn’t have a single thought in your brain as you watched the designs come to life on Johnny’s chest and Nayeon’s bicep, beyond wanting to get drunk and make sure you had nothing in your brain forever.Then the commercials switched and you had something in your brain.

At the top of the hour, following the conclusion of the Bad Girls Club, your local midnight news updates for Virginia Beach. Starting with the breaking story, out of the Palace of the United States of America in Arlington, that the newly-awoken prince has chosen a wife...

“Isn’t that your dumbass stepsister?” Sehun wondered.You didn’t want to look. You couldn’t, actually.“Turn that fucking shit off, to be honest,” Johnny drawled without looking up. “Hasn’t Bad Girls Club been lame AF for years now? The girls aren’t even hot.”But Suho wasn’t fast enough while switching the channels and you caught a nauseating glimpse of what you’d left behind.Yuna was beaming so fucking hard you knew her face must’ve been hurting so fucking bad. She was wearing a dress in a shade of light blue that looked so much like your dress's that you lingered on the poofy outline to convince your brain she’d hadn’t come here and stolen from your closet. The shiny silver tiara certainly fit in well with her perfect ringlets - pageant practice, after all - and matched the massive ring on her finger that you could spot through the tiny TV screen. And the palace stylists went off while making Jaehyun look like the prince he was. Gone were the grungy, comfy fits from VBeach, and back were boots with shiny buckles, the velvet pants, and the most gorgeous maroon overcoat with more golden sequins (did she cry over the clashing? lmaooooo) sewn in to look like flowering tree branches over his arms. His long hair was curled by his ears under the matching golden crown - thank god he didn’t wear the George Washington hat that made him look like a little lad. She would’ve killed him for that.He was smiling, too. Not the full nose scrunch smile, but you could tell it was real. Or at least it looked real.They looked real together, holding hands and waving to the rest of the court.Being forced to sit there while everyone awkwardly resumed tattooing, too afraid to ask what the fuck happened, was the worst thing ever. It was hypocritical to be feeling this bizarre regret for getting exactly what you wanted, but what the hell were you supposed to do? Just pretend you’d never liked him?When the buzzing of the tattoo guns got loud enough, you heard Nayeon’s quiet question hidden underneath, “What did he say at the end?”The stars on the back of your neck started to itch badly.“Nothing,” you lied, what you wished would’ve happened instead.“Really?”Johnny sat up to try and figure out if you were lying or not. He risked the wrath of a pissed-off Sehun, who physically had to manhandle Johnny to get him to lie down and not mess up the design, and ended up warning his bro, “If you don’t fucking sit, Sir Lewis is going to have crossed eyes.”When Johnny shrugged like he didn’t give a fuck, a dumb comment slipped out of your mouth, “Ah, why did I ever let you go?”At least someone was classy enough to stick to parts of faces, not the whole damn thing.You all laughed together and it almost felt normal as the tattooing picked up again. Until Seulgi leaned against the center of Nayeon’s elbow to get the detailing done in a tricky spot and your best friend flinched, “Fucking ouch.”And you were blabbing before you could stop yourself, “He said that he’d picked someone and then asked me how to cover the tattoo he got.”Right there at the center of his elbow, where the outline of your beloved awful wrinkle was. That's where he pointed as he wondered how to erase it as permanently as he could.“He got a real tattoo? I thought you meant a temporary one,” Johnny laughed in disbelief before Sehun’s surprisingly serious face gave it away. “You’re insane. What did he get? You let him get something weird like his mom’s face or—?”“Her wrinkle,” Nayeon murmured, knowing you wouldn’t be able to.And you definitely fucking couldn’t. The itch from the back of your neck spread to your face, clustering into that subtle dip of skin and making you want to claw it off.Johnny sat up so he could look at you again and Sehun groaned, “Dude, he’s officially Poo-is Hamilton!,” before giving up and stalking away so that you could have your private venting session.His eyes lingered over the feature he made fun of for so long, then he asked, “You let him get a tattoo about you?”“I didn’t know,” you whispered.He just did it.Johnny shook his head like even that was making him feel bad. “Damn. Brutal.”Nobody knew what to say after that. You felt like curling up into a ball and crying, because all you could think about was his goofy face when he showed you. He was such a proud little genius for coming up with a way to remember what he liked most about your face—“Okay, I’m ready for whoever,” you said as soon as the idea hit you. “It’ll be easy, I just want it done.”“Let me,” Suho offered up quietly, after sitting in silence and listening for most of the night.Despite your relationship being confined to the times you were in his chair, Suho appeared surprisingly sympathetic at that moment, which meant… Jaehyun had somehow made your secret relationship obvious when they were talking together. And your tattoo artist knew just how much it hurt you to be back here alone. Fuck.Your fingers shook around the pen Sehun tossed you and it took you a second to steady them out enough to trace what you wanted. Even so, you did it with your eyes half-closed to avoid seeingg the full image.Suho was pretty fucking baffled when you handed it to him, but agreed without protest, “Sure, where do you want it?”Thank god you already had a tattoo over your heart.Nayeon peeked over from her seat and was just as confused by what she saw, “Wait, you’re not getting a horizon?”No.No, you weren’t.You moved the bracelet out of the way and pointed to the spot where the column of delicate, mismatched lines would be hidden behind the biggest diamond. “Here.”When Suho took your wrist to examine where to put the stencil, he accidentally gave it a tiny, yet too familiar squeeze.You felt like your soul legit ripped in two. And in two again and in two again and in two again, multiplying into an infinite number of unfixable wounds until you were sure you couldn’t ever stitch the pieces back together. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Knock, knock!”Professor Song glanced up from her laptop at your weirdly cheerful greeting and almost fell off her chair.You understood.It took you a few weeks (more like fifteen years) to muster up the courage to come here, then you got lost more times than expected while looking for her office in the depths of Blair Hall. You were fine-tuned to go to your dad’s old office instead - it was kinda nice to see that part of the building had been repurposed to an indoor garden area.A smile blossomed across her face though and she waved you in. “Whoa, hey! Didn’t think I’d see you here so soon.”You shrugged. “Back in town, I guess.”Her face fell so fast and you realized right then that she'd seen the headlines but didn’t dig into the details… since she assumed it was you starring in them. You stared at her desk so you didn’t have to look at her pathetic face and when you saw a bowl of Ferrero Rocher next to a turned picture frame, the pounding in your head got worse.“Oh, I…” She was fretting hard and wringing her hands, knowing you were both too far away and too unwilling for her to comfort. “Did you want to get breakfast or something? I have a late class.”“Nah, I’m hungover as fuck. Don’t really feel like eating.” You hadn’t had a drop of alcohol, actually, but the emotional hangover from staying up until the sun crept into your window was a very good nocebo effect! Which you learned about last night as you scrolled endlessly through random Wikipedia articles while in the fetal position (another new thing you learned!!!!!) to distract your brain!“Is your stepmother going to give us hell for this?” she wondered.You shrugged again. “Nope?”Jessica and co. were still blocked on your phone, but she hadn't resorted to any drastic smoke signals in an attempt to contact you. The bar was so fucking deep in hell at this point, but at least she wasn't pushing your buttons... yet. You still didn't feel like you were in the clear.Professor Song had no clue how to react, her face made it clear she didn't want to over-interpret that answer. But it ultimately settled on disgust, making it no secret that she hated Jessica almost as much as you did. Your vendetta was understandable, you didn’t get why her hatred ran so deep.“I have some cold brew we can split, come. You shouldn’t be hungover on a Tuesday,” she wryly scolded as she ducked for the mini fridge under her desk.“You’re not my dad.” You were almost thirty years old, she didn’t need to baby you.“I’m definitely not.” Her smile turned unexpectedly wistful and soft at the mention of him and it took your breath away. She poured a generous cup of coffee and handed it over, asking with some hesitant, yet pointed concern, “How are you?”“Chill, why?”One poised flip of your shoulders was the cherry on top of your sudden, unhinged need to bait her into being specific.Professor Song was smart enough not to bite, or maybe knew she’d be crossing lines if she did, “Just curious. Can I help you with something or did you just want to… what is it, hang out?”That attempt at being cool made you smile.And the subtle strength it gave you made you answer her honestly, “I thought maybe we could work on finally publishing my dad’s book.”She stood up in surprise, fingers clasped around the charm on the necklace she always wore. “What? Why now? I mean, we absolutely can, but I just. I didn’t expect this. Just in general, I guess, but especially for you to want to.”Unfortunately, you had become plagued with the idea that the only way you could move on from what happened was if this book was finally published... so that chapter could be closed both literally and figuratively. Or whatever.“I have more free time, I guess.” Another vague answer, another piece of bait.“Of course, of course we can work on it.” She was as determined not to crack as you were, but her excitement quickly took over, “Can I see the whole journal? I’ve only ever saw his notes from time to time.”“I don’t have it on me right now," you sheepishly answered. "I have pictures of every page, though, so we should be fine.”“Where is it?”You felt like a dick after denying her that bluntly and having to watch her smile disappear. Familiar, itchy pain spread up your wrist from your newest tattoo and you pressed the diamond into the bandage to cut it off as you answered, “Not here.”Maybe he hated you now or maybe he didn’t even give a shit (which was way worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!) but you hoped that every time Jaehyun covered his tattoo, he remembered how much that journal meant to you. And kept himself from throwing it away.“I get it. It’s very personal, isn’t it?” she said softly.Kinda felt like cutting out your heart for the world to gawk at.“You don’t have to publish the notes about me unless you want to—”But Professor Song was already reading a blurb off the first screenshot you'd sent her, “Blue claims she would’ve wanted to be a peasant while Prince Jaehyun was alive, because the equal rights for women he proposed meant she wouldn’t be forced to do laundry. I hope she realizes that living in colonial times means no TV or glittery tattoos...” She laughed so goddamn happily, “Is that really in there?”It felt particularly icky to acknowledge just how sweet that was…“He spends a whole page after that lecturing me how bad bread tasted back in the day,” you somehow managed to laugh, too. “We’ll probably have to take out all that shit.”“We won’t have to do much, knowing your dad. Just clean it up and add a chapter at the end regarding the… current updates.” She awkwardly trailed off at the end but still didn’t ask. At this point you wished she just manned up and did it so you could get this over with.“Yup,” you answered casually, leaning into how confused it made her. “You’re free to do whatever you want, so just make sure I get a cut of the money at the end.”Not that you needed money! You could save your shitty club tips for yourself now without having to pay anyone!Professor Song stopped you from leaving before you’d even taken a step away from her desk. “Wait, wait. You don’t want to work on this with me?”“What kind of fucking merit do I have to do that?” You hadn’t even taken the SATs, let alone had any knowledge that could help you in publishing a book. “You know the two main characters better than anyone else.” You braced yourself for it, every coordinate around your heart lined in steel, and… “This is as much a book about you and your dad than is about any historical event, Blue.”Your eyes screwed shut for a moment of pure, overwhelming sadness. It was hard to think of the pod of whales swimming through every corner of that journal, the milestones of yours that were marked in there, the living proof he was a good dad to you just as much as he was a great professor.“How about this? Since you now have all this free time, why don’t you come by once a week. I’ll do all the work and you can just…” She waved her hands around your outline like you were a slutty mess and not just in a long skirt and baby tee. “…Do whatever it is you do with your free time.”You rolled your eyes but went along with it, “Sure, if I’m not too hungover for your standards.”Professor Song chuckled, you smiled, and you both waited around for an extra second to see where the conversation would go. But still, nobody cracked. You had the sense that it was bubbling and bothering her, that her need to take care of her friend’s child would make her lose this battle.Yet, you didn’t think it’d be this fast. It only took her until you were halfway up the exit aisle…“Can I ask you something? Why was the prince in Virginia Beach?”What was the point of asking permission if she was just going to ask.And she’d timed it wrong - you had just enough time to get your shit together and turn back around like you didn’t give a fuck. Shrug like you didn’t give a fuck, answer like you didn’t give a fuck, “VBeach wasn’t a thing until after he ate it, so he prob just wanted to see it.”“And hold hands with you along his merry way, it seems," Professor Song offered up the neutral observation.She wasn’t asking and your body didn’t know how to react.Until your asshole instinct kicked in, “Aren’t you supposed to help and hold a child’s hand when they cross the street for the first time?”Helping him was what you were doing, until it evolved to the point of being unable to let go. He held your hand so much over the past week it was like he was trying to tattoo your fingers by proxy.“Traffic existed in the 1700s.” Professor Song was professor-ing, mothering, and kicking your ass all at once in this newfound quiet, sympathetic voice, “The area of Delaware the prince grew up in had quite a lot of carriage traffic that made crossing the roads dangerous.”Well, fuck.That was one subject you didn’t get to discuss in the middle of your romantic pillow talk.It was obvious Professor Song knew what was going on, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to admit it. This was your pure need to survive. It was too embarrassing, too fucked up.“Who knows, then. Your guess is as good as mine,” you said with an attitude, then peaced the fuck out of the lecture hall.You didn’t get lost again, that's for sure. — Walking to the corner cafe for brunch with Nayeon was just enough time to get into your head about about how that last sarcastic response was actually the truth. You made the dumbass assumption that Jaehyun came to VBeach because he couldn’t survive being away from you or whatever. But maybe it was just to get his rocks off one last time or whatever princes did before they got married. He’d avoid another curse that way, right?You were sure you’d have a great discussion about it with Professor Song when you got to updating that chapter.After bumping Nayeon’s arm with yours in greeting before you pulled over a chair on the patio, you sunk into a foul mood, “Yo, thanks for waiting. Can we start drinking for real, that was not a good vibe.”So much for the attempt at rawdogging your healing. A nice, sweet, tipsy hole to fall into would be the best place to get over this.“You better fix that fast,” she muttered under her breath. “Cause look who’s here—”“Surprise!”Lady Dawon and Lady Solbin - god, fuck the titles. Dawon and Solbin were sitting across the brunch table, chattering away with Nayeon like this was a normal day for all of them. Lame fucking surprise, but beggars couldn't be choosers.But you were also… happy to see them? You certainly sounded happy the next time you opened your mouth, “What! What the fuck are you doing here, you bitches?”You went through a round of hugs and air kisses - then a second one, goddamn - then you glanced over at Nayeon, sipping her mimosa, and her sad little smile made it obvious she asked them to come because they were closest to Eunbi. The BFFF club was not having their greatest era, you had to say.“It’s been so chaotic, one week we were on our break and the next they were sending us home.” Great! Lovely reminder from Dawon of how fast things changed! “I needed some R&R so I booked a cute little B&B to crash in.”It was amazing how not-sad she was in comparison.“Good, ‘cause we sure as fuck weren’t having you over," you cackled. You weren’t in the palace anymore. If they were here in your territory, you were going to joke the way you always did with your friends.Dawon was loving her freedom to let loose and used it to own you both, “Love ya, but I wouldn’t stay there in the first place,” which made Nayeon snort out some mimosa through her nose.You didn’t blame her. It took a lot for someone to want to stay there.Yeah.Fuck.“And I had to delay going home. My parents are so pissed he didn’t pick me, haha…” Solbin was the same percent upset that Dawon was that she didn’t get picked - zero.... Whoa, why was very eye at the table on you all of a sudden. “Wait, be honest. Did you know?”Your hand gripped the diamond bracelet impossibly hard.You played dumb, “Know what?”“That he was going to pick her! Especially after all that drama you told us! That vacation must’ve really cleared things up if he picked her that fast.”The hardest part of this whole thing was being stuck with the worry that your love for him bloomed too little, too late. You read the journal and crafted things the way he liked, opened up every single locked-away piece of your heart, and were still poisoned by the idea that you’d made him like your stepsister a little too much to overcome that.Because why else would he pick her?Your relationship ended before he knew the darkest part of that secret. Him finding out that Jessica and Yuna were your stepmom and stepsister was the most harmless part of it.“No, I didn’t,” you murmured.But your quiet answer was lost when Dawon did exactly what she was brought here for - gossip, “Wait, did you hear Eunbi is getting engaged as well?”Nayeon choked on her mimosa for the second time and you broke out into a fake surprised cough to cover it up, stares be damned. That was a best friend requirement after she’d had your back this whole time.So was casually prying on her behalf, “Isn’t that hoe engaged already?”The two of them looked at each other with raised eyebrows, the high-class version of the spilling tea look that you and Nayeon knew well.Dawon leaned in to whisper even though no one in Williamsburg gave a fuck, “Not yet. I heard her screaming at someone before the engagement announcement and she looked like she was crying when she and the prince were talking.” Interesting. “I thought her family would put out a formal announcement ASAP, but my parents have gotten nothing.”Really fucking interesting.“You don’t think she’s not getting engaged, is she?” you asked, knowing Nayeon’s nervous energy meant she didn’t have the balls to.Solbin tried to be all secretive like her friend, “You didn’t hear this from me—”“Who the fuck are we going to tell?” you huffed, impatient as hell. “The proceedings are over, just say it.”Yikes! Nothing like that reminder!“She had a breakdown and left in the middle of our break, saying she needed to go see someone. I think maybe she had a secret boyfriend or something.”Eunbi must’ve been down bad if she was acting out to the point that people noticed and you once again felt incredibly bad for your best friend. There wasn’t even advice or a solution you could offer, you were both so out of your league here.“I fucking doubt she’d do something like that,” Nayeon protested, just to give herself an alibi.Solbin opened a can of worms you weren’t ready for, “IDK, I had to shut a shit-talking maid up for joking that the prince should’ve picked Lady Eunbi because they both looked so miserable that day.” He looked…“Miserable? What?” Nayeon backed you up the same way, by asking the right questions when you were lost for words.On the TV he looked so… happy and put together. And you knew him, you knew him well, he was the definition of a bad actor and couldn’t ever hide anything he was feeling. It always came out, so what did she mean he looked miserable.“I mean he looked foine. He always does,” Dawon made the stupid, truthful correction before wiping away one of her dramatic tears. “Just kinda sad… and tired.”Tired?That was the worst possible thing to hear. He should’ve slept more while he was at your house, you would’ve been fine if he slept the whole time without hanging out if it meant he’d never been tired like that again.“And my goodness, I don’t know how you survived however many years with…” Solbin controlled her rant so as not to offend, but really, you were curious to see who she’d fill in that blank with. Jessica or Yuna, Jessica or Yuna.“You can say it, Jessica was a huge cunt,” Nayeon drawled.They didn’t flinch anymore when she used that word. Which meant her behavior had been especially cunt-like in the time you’d been gone.“You are not wrong, but, like… Yuna is just. Whew…” Dawon’s eyes bugged out to emphasize just how bad it'd been and you couldn’t believe who the rant was really about. “She stopped in the middle of the proposal to take pictures for Instagram.”And you were the fucking idiot who thought taking a walk with him in the grass would be the perfect place for it to happen.The two ladies looked at each other and said in girly unison, “Hope they’re happy, but why would he pick her—”“Aaaand that’s enough,” Nayeon loudly talked over whichever one of them was trying to kick off your spiral, playing into it like she was annoyed. “I can only handle so much before I vomit. Who wants mimosas?”“Thanks,” you mumbled when the other two were distracted.“Thanks,” she whispered back.Ironic as hell.If you told yourself at the beginning of the year you’d be having brunch with two daughters of America’s upper class…. and were doing so in a cafe on the William & Mary campus… you would’ve thought Johnny finally convinced you to do strong hallucinogenics.“You know what’s funny?” Dawon giggled after you cheersed your mimosa glasses together. “I don’t know what you, like, actually do, Blue.”The fuck if you knew either.You shrugged and used the typical answer, “Whatever being a high school drop out gets, no one’s hiring me.”Now you’d be able to attain the lucrative promotion of going from a part-time to a full-time bottle girl. High achieving, of course.“But the palace hired you,” Solbin pointed out.“It wasn’t hard. I just helped the prince pick his outfits and taught him like, slang and stuff.” And it’s not like they sent you an offer letter through HR, you just blackmailed the most famous person in the country into letting you bust his balls... only to stupidly fall in love with him along the way.At least none of them ever discovered his historical fuckboy past.“That’s all? I thought you were like his best friend or something. You did everything together,” Dawon kindly yet naively pried, thinking she’d get some insider tea from a locked vault.Glad to know your vibe with him gave besties.Seriously, it’d protect you from the future wrath of Jessica and Yuna if this part of the history books marked you and Jaehyun down as friends and nothing else.“Wait, I wanted to ask since you’re both experts on this subject. Do you think he got a tattoo?” Solbin asked out of nowhere. “He kept holding his arm like this at the engagement announcement.”When she pressed her thumb over the inside of her elbow, your entire body felt trapped in this coffin of horrible sadness.Nayeon’s answer sounded like it was coming from another continent, “He’s clumsy, prob just an injury or something.”The girls' jokes mixed and faded as their voices got further and further away, He’s the kind of guy to get one of his mom’s face, and, Can’t see Yuna or Jessica liking that. You were stuck in your chair, staring at this little sprig of greenery blooming up between the cracks in the sidewalk, and you knew that drinking couldn’t fix this. The pain ran so deep that it soaked into every level of your consciousness.“I didn’t think you came here just so we could gossip about people we hate.” Maybe that was too aggressive of you to say but what the fuck ever.You could not handle this.“You’re right, we just wanted to have fun before we go back to our normal lives.” You had never seen Dawon as shy or as giggly as she was then, tucking her hair behind her ear and asking the casual question, “Is your friend John around?”You glanced over at Nayeon as her entire face wrinkled in disgust (lol, same, that was not what you were expecting at all!) before you saw the lightbulb of chaos go off over her head.“You know what,” she slyly reeled them in with temptation. “How ‘bout a bender?” — “So…. you uppity hoes want to come to my show?”If you ever decided to take the SAT in your free time, you would ace the vocabulary section considering everything you were learning. Today's word of the day was: lecherous. AKA the exact kind of grin that'd been plastered on Johnny’s face from the second he dropped by the beach and saw Dawon and Solbin in their borrowed tiny bikinis.Nayeon drank deeply from her beer and ordered him in the name of feminism, “Can we not use the word hoes?”“Uppity bitches?”There we go.Though… he could’ve called Dawon fucking Mrs. Potato Head and she’d still stare at him with those moony eyes.He stretched out on the towel so that all of his abs and tattoos were visible, then started counting out demands like he was the prince of VBeach, “There’s gonna be some rules, ‘cause it’s my gig and my invite. No polygamist cult dresses, no saying how do you do, no glasses of wine.”At least Solbin wasn’t buying into his Big D…Johnny (yes, that was his DJ name) act. “You are aware we’re not actual princesses, right?”“Then act like it, where’s your secret party girl past?” Johnny’s wink at Dawon was borderline salacious, another new word. “If you can stick to the rules then you can def come. And bring your other hot friend, the one with the bob?”“Eunbi?” Dawon asked. “Should we call her and see if she wants to come?”A perfect remix of the waves crashing with a screaming bunch of boys on skateboards did a good job at hiding Nayeon’s hurt little gasp. She slipped her sunglasses down so that no one could see her tears and you moved on the towel so she was hidden behind you.Then it was your duty to be the uppity bitch, “No. I don’t want her here.”Both of your new friends glanced over in surprise and Solbin asked, “I thought you were cool now?”You were until she inadvertently shit all over Nayeon’s heart. Anyone who did that was on your official Fuck Off List, no matter how much character development they’d gone through.Johnny kicked your leg and whispered, “Psst, it’s my gig.”Yeah, like playing for the lame ass crowd at No Club Tougher was a headlining show in Vegas.You did your duty defending your still-sniffling best friend, “When have you ever not done what I said, dude? She doesn’t get an invite.” Johnny turned on the charming eyes and the funny pout, and as Dawon swooned in the corner, you were hardcore getting the ick, “Don’t look at me like that, I’m not cockblocking you. You’re cockblocking me, you never let hot guys into your shows, not like you do with the girls—”Your phone went off as soon as you said it. The odd preview distracted you from Dawon trying to figure out what other girls Johnny was going to invite.

[2:15 pm] head chancewhore: I long for you.

Huh.Since when did Mark develop such a sexy way with words? Lmao.

[2:16 pm] you: i said to text me not sext me lmfao
[2:16 pm] you: but tbh miss u too lol

Just when you were feeling like you could be cool with Mark in another universe, too. Bummer.

[2:19 pm] head chancewhore: Whatever does this mean? I cannot understand these letters, they are not words.

The sun burned a three-stranded garland into your body, connecting your neck, your heart, and your wrist all at once.“Jae?” you whispered, unable to tear your eyes away from the message.Johnny flexed a slightly cross-eyed Lewis Hamilton on his chest and wondered, “Was there another dumbass update on her Insta?”“No clue, she’s been blocked,” Nayeon droned to save the day. “Everyone’s been blocked. If we’re friends now, y’all are doing the same.”But you didn't care about that shit, your hands were already shaking as you typed out the message.

[2:23 pm] you: is this jae?
[2:24 pm] head chancewhore: Of course, it is I.

Then, you did a bad thing. A very bad thing.You unblocked Yuna’s Instagram.And as soon as you did, you were bombarded with the caption of her latest post from half an hour ago.

@princessyunie:
Mommy-sponsored lunch @ home to celebrate our engagement!!
👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

It was a selfie in the dining room of the house in Williamsburg, sitting around the massive mahogany table inherited from her grandfather that you’d set so many times. Jessica and a tense Mark were standing in the back of the shot, as the awkward as fuck chaperones to this date. Yuna was still beaming, seemed like she hadn’t stopped since the day that massive ring went on her finger.And Jaehyun, with his arms covered by this beautiful cream long sleeve, looked absolutely exhausted next to her. He obediently held out his wine glass for a salute to the camera, but more noticeable than all of that was how he also appeared… beyond sloshed. Like, his left eye wasn’t even fully open and his entire face was red.Was this a drunk text?

[2:30 pm] you: dont text me
[2:32 pm] head chancewhore: I cannot, this time that passes is permeated with your ceaseless existence. I am unable to continue on without you.

“I’ll be right back,” you muttered to no one in particular.Every limb now shaking the same way your hands were, you struggled to your feet as you watched the bubbles on Mark’s contact appear and reappear. How was Jaehyun writing out these epic lines when he didn’t even know what texting was a few weeks ago?“Can you get more booze? Blue, more booze!”You didn’t give a fuck about anything but this.

[2:34 pm] head chancewhore: Every thought, every breath, every second I live through is inspired by your presence.
[2:37 pm] head chancewhore: I crave one more day filled to an unending capacity of moments spun about you at the center.
[2:39 pm] head chancewhore: One more night spent draped against the sweetness of your touch.
[2:41 pm] head chancewhore: I have not let go of my lingering intentions to share a dance with you at this ball, at the next ball, at every ball to follow.
[2:44 pm] head chancewhore: I intended to dance with you until my weakened legs could no longer carry me.

The tide slipped in to soak your ankles where you’d ran into the ocean to have this conversation in private… and your phone lit up in a call from Mark’s contact. You answered it against all rational judgment - you were a high school dropout with no critical thinking skills, after all.“Our parting kiss should not have been draped with such an air of finality. If I knew it would have been the last, I would have raced to impart a boundless measure of kisses upon your lips. If only mollify this impossible longing I have been saddled with for my second lifetime.”Were you dreaming this?You’d been shockingly sober since the day he’d thrown your heart away, so a dreamy dream was the only explanation you had left. His voice was like… you had no words to describe it. Just gorgeous. He had a gorgeous voice and you missed it—“Send message. Send message!” That voice ran hoarse and ragged as he shouted into the receiver. “Send message to Annoying Lady Chancellor Number!”Was he? Voice-to-texting you this so he could say what he needed?“You don’t have to scream,” you murmured. “I can hear you fine.”“Good heavens!” Jaehyun screamed at the top of his lungs.Despite his freakout and his drunkenness, you could still pick up on his calm breathing like a beacon through the phone, reminding you of every single night he’d slept by your side.Then it stopped and anxiety spiked through your skull.You pressed your phone into your ear, hoping to feel him through it. “You still there?”“H-how… however is this possible.” His whisper was twinged with an unreal amount of fear and hopeful disbelief. “Are you truly speaking to me.”“Did you steal Chancellor Mark’s talking rectangle?” Did he not mean to call you?Jeahyun started shouting again, “Why am I unable to receive an image of your beautiful visage. It reads picture. It reads picture!”You scrambled to cover your shitty camera with your thumb just in case he managed to turn on the FaceTime. Hearing his voice was one thing, but seeing his face, confirming for yourself that he was tired? That was a battle you didn’t want to fight.“You need to be quiet,” you ordered, then dug in when you heard his whining, “Listen to me, Jaehyun, you have to stop.”Calling you, texting you, saying you were beautiful, none of it could fly anymore. You'd closed the door, why couldn’t he? He had just as much practice.“It is agreeable to me if you and I remain acquaintances. Lady Yuna spends an endless amount of time crafting textual deliveries to her acquaintances.” That compromise was a flex of his hidden abilities in utilizing princely political knowledge to get exactly what he wanted.“We can’t.”“Cannot or do not have the desire to?”You closed your eyes and focused on the feel of the water under you and the sun rays cascading over your arms. Anything to forget the memories Jaehyun was trying so desperately to recall through the haze of his intoxication.He always made sure you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.You swallowed it back to… continue doing your job, despite your resignation, “Give the phone back and don’t go wandering the streets tonight.”In response, Jaehyun slurred through maybe the most romantic thing anyone had ever said to you, “How else will I discover where you might be taking refuge? My knowledge of this town is painted in you.”He would wander Williamsburg just to find where you might be. Just like he did with Virginia Beach, just like he did in the palace, maybe with anywhere you went.“You’re drunk,” you whispered.Jaehyun tried to get control of himself, which was an obvious giveaway he was indeed sloshed, “I am n-not. In fact, I am s-startlingly sober enough to declare my convictions towards you. I am in—”“I went on a date with someone,” you lied through your teeth.He went so quiet and your heart was so fucking broken. You knew he knew what that meant, you taught him yourself.“I went on a date with someone and you’re engaged..." Saying it outright hurt you so, so much, "...and in modern times, when boyfriends and girlfriends stop being boyfriends and girlfriends, they can’t be just friends anymore.”That wasn’t true, but how would the fuck would Jaehyun know without you there to translate.“I understand."You missed him saying that more than you realized, missed the quiet little connection you shared after making him feel comfortable enough with something brand new.And Jaehyun hung up.There was a rage-filled part of you that wanted to throw your phone into the ocean and never see it again. But you held it tightly to your chest instead, bracelet diamonds clanging against the broken screen, and let the overheated metal stain into you. You knew science didn’t work this way, but… you wondered if down by the ice cream shop’s hidden beach, there were two sets of footprints still marked into the sand where you and Jaehyun had run into the water together.Knowing the wind blew the evidence away felt like the shittiest metaphor.Nayeon immediately sensed something was up when you made your way back to the towels, holding yourself to keep this lovesick chill away. As she hugged you close, Johnny blabbed his fat mouth, “Were you pissing? Why the hell were you gone for so long?”You ignored him and let her snuggle you. She’d understand just how bad it was without you needing to say it.“BTW, wanna pitch in to throw an afterparty?" he continued blabbing. "I know money’s, like, a thing with you.”Bless his tactful soul.Dawon and Solbin shot you the most pleading looks possible but they weren't necessary. Money wasn't a thing anymore and you weren’t going to stop them from having whatever kind of fun they craved. A bender was a bender and maybe that was the level of committing to your old life necessary to get over this.You shrugged. “Fine, whatever.”Not like anything worse could happen! —

When selecting the palace he wished to rule from, the prince took into consideration the following: his proximity to peasants who needed the most help, the comfortability it would afford his aging parents, and his preference for the bustle of city life. These reasons led to him selecting a prominent city in Virginia - now Arlington - and embarking away from his hometown, which is now the capital of Delaware, Dover.

Hm.You looked up from Johnny’s dumbass insta announcement - headlining NCT next wknd, how many ladies are tryna get fucked (up 😉 ) - read the whiteboard projection, then commented, “That’s wrong.”“I’m reading verbatim, plus his parents being older is an established fact,” Professor Song huffed.Even with the proof your dad wrote out, it was still fucking wrong. But the second you made eye contact and she gave you a look like, you tell me, you regretted saying anything.You went back on your phone, sneaky thumbs taking you away from the invite to more dangerous territory. Jaehyun's call was still on your log, 2:46pm - a crazy number you were never going to forget.It was easy to tell she was getting pissed off since her voice grew louder, “Did you have something to offer, or are you just going to sit there on your phone?”“He didn’t prefer the city. He liked his summer cottage.” It was by the water in Maryland, probably one of those mega Chesapeake Bay mansions….. He told you that last night when you were crammed in the bath together, happy to kiss each other between bites of chocolate and spilling the bubbles onto the tile floor. Laughing over your pruned fingertips made him think of a story where he jumped from the dock on his summer home in his royal clothes and scared the shit out of his mom.“Which was in?”“How would I know?”Professor Song put down her coffee cup by her picture frame and exhaled, “I can’t do this.”Now you were getting annoyed. “Ooookay, so don’t. It’s not like I need you, I’ll just find someone to sell this to...”“You need me to do this proper justice, but I can’t do that unless you tell me what really happened,” she said.You had pushed her to the breaking point and now you were stumbling towards your own. You'd been pushed by that hidden addition to your call log and knowing this fuckload of secret details, told to you in his honey voice, would die out if you never spilled.But you still clung onto pretending, “With what?”“Don’t hide behind circumstances to pretend you’re dumb. You’re not.” She shook her head like it didn’t just hurt her, it would also hurt your dad if he was here to see you acting like this.“You’re the one being vague on purpose,” you snapped.Professor Song lost control and exploded, “Did you have a relationship with the prince?!”“Yes!”That word came out so aggressively it forced her into sitting down at her desk in surprise.In order not to sob uncontrollably, you stared at the projection of the little smiling whale on the page and made yourself just say it, “I needed a break and left the palace to come back here. He figured out how to get to VBeach on his own because he thought I’d left forever.”Insane. He risked the stupid-ass Megabus just to find you again.Professor Song clutched at her necklace and stared at you like she was watching history come to life and her favorite romantic film at the same time. Then he breathed out the stupid question, “He was going to pick you?”“No, that's not what I said.” You did not fuck with that misinterpretation. “You’re a history professor, my picture doesn’t exactly match the ones in your books.”Her eyes slipped down the length of the white sundress you were wearing, borrowed from Solbin because you did not have a fucking clean garment in your house (laundry day was so overrated when you were heartbroken!) You almost laughed in her face. The fit wasn’t on purpose, it felt like you were wearing a costume no matter how comfortable it was.“We’re also not in the 1700s anymore,” she gave you a gentle reminder as she moved to sit on the edge of the desk. “And somewhere on the internet, there’s footage of you saying that royalty is no more than a symbol. A symbol can, in theory, evolve in any way it wants.”That was just your dad protecting you so you could protect Jaehyun. It wasn't a way for you to bend the rules and skip a line you never realized you were standing in.“I don’t want to be a symbol,” you whispered. “I just want to be left alone.”“Did she have something to do with this?” Professor Song didn’t have to elaborate, her sharp tone was enough for you to know who.You started to shake your head, then you screwed your eyes shut and just nodded.“Tell me.” At first, you thought this was Professor Song's tough love angle. But when you looked at her, there was nothing but pure hatred streaked on her face. “My friend dies and I can’t contact his child after that? We can’t talk at the palace without lying, you call me once and have to hang up halfway through it? You’re here and still can’t say a word about it—”“I borrowed money from her to cover all of Dada’s medical bills.”Her entire lecture hall went deathly - ironic as fuck! - silent.You'd just blown your own emotional dam to pieces and now everything was spilling out, “I’ve been working as their personal servant to pay it back ever since. I made a deal with her… if I got the prince to pick Yuna as his bride, I’d be… I’d be…”Words kept getting stuck in between your vocal cords, which had felt clogged with longing since that very awful day. Professor Song quickly grabbed your hands to get you to calm down and you knew when her breathing caught that she was well aware of the bracelet you still hadn't taken off.“I told him if he didn't hire me as a palace worker, I was going to tell everyone he was a historical fuckboy.” Your laugh soaked with sadness, followed by a drop of embarrassment after seeing her mortified face. “Er, a guy—”She blushed so goddamn hard and waved to stop you. “I can extrapolate the meaning. The anecdotes would… support the assumption.”But they wouldn’t anymore, which was the fucked up part.“I used the journal to make it seem like she knew how to court in his era.” The poems, the paintings, the hobbies, you were taking a college-level course in American history just to make this guy feel special and it was the most effort you’d ever put into anything.“He was always known to be a smart man, though.”“Or stupid,” you murmured.So fucking stupid.“Did you fall in love with him?” When your hateful glare turned on her, Professor Song awkwardly laughed, “Hey, I’m just trying to channel a parental figure here.”Did you fall in love with him?He made you fall in love with him so deeply that you put on a gown to confess your love to him while standing in a field of grass. “He’s not… he’s not for me. It just wouldn’t work out, I’m not trying to get married.” You clung onto your denial as hard as you possibly could - you had to accept that no matter what you did, he may have just wanted to stick to traditions.“I’m sure his highness would’ve enjoyed the modern experience of having a girlfriend," Professor Song said.He did. For those two seconds, he definitely did.Then her energy lit up out of nowhere and she changed the subject back to something important, “Hold up, how much did you owe? The royal registry has generations of wealth stored up explicitly for his sole use…”Instead of explaining the real details of your sob story, you sunk into this pothole of recent horribleness, “Jessica said all this stuff about how she was upset Dada never loved them and I’m sure that’s why she’s gonna be a bitch to me for as long as she can. I know he did, I just... never mind, I don't know.”His love for you couldn't be the same love he had for them.Professor Song’s elegant features twisted into such an uncomfortable expression, like she didn’t understand what you were saying.“What?” you asked. “You’re going to need to give me more than that weird ass face.”Her fingers went around the necklace again before she revealed, “That woman just married your dad for her dad’s money, definitely not for love. I heard him reference that multiple times.”A mini-blackout burned out your nerves.What?“Getting married was a stipulation of her inheritance after she had a kid out of wedlock. And he told me he only did it…” She got choked up in a hurry, “…because that money meant he'd be able to give you a good life. Not even the teaching position tempted him.”When your dad was still married to her, you lived in a nice house, had nice clothes, and went to a private school with a good arts program. But you thought that was from his new job as a professor. It didn’t hit you until now that his salary probably wasn’t that hot.And Jessica was supposed to get that money she always complained about not having? That didn’t make sense.“But she always implied I bankrupted her or whatever.” Your stepmother acted like you’d doomed her to a life of toeing the poverty line and you just believed her. You let her transfer that money without second-guessing it - you saw all the hospital bills, how could you not.“Unless you spent hundreds of millions of dollars by accident or there were weird stipulations about who got the inheritance, I don’t think you bankrupted her at all," Professor Song theorized. "Did you ever see anything written?”This was always a topic covered in such heavy grief that it was better out of sight, out of mind, instead of ducking into the worst, most hurtful feelings possible.“Dada might’ve written about it in his journal.” It was a record of his life, too. There were so many pages aside from his research that were filled with his thoughts and feelings, ones you never read since you never felt old or ready enough to process.“Let’s look together,” Professor Song gently suggested.You wondered if the suggestion was for you as much as it was for her.So, it felt beyond fucking awkward to have to tell her, “I don’t have it.”“Get it, get it as soon as you can and we’ll figure this out.”The idea of what you had to do to get that precious thing back had you shying away from this sudden curiosity, “Never mind, the money thing is not important—”“Blue.” Professor Song saying it like that made you think of how your dad used to call for you. Her holding your hands recalled a mother’s touch you never had. “I would like to see you happy for once. As happy as you looked that day we ran into each other.”His chest firmly pressed into your cheek where you were laying on him, the cold ice cream on your tongues as you kissed, those dark, gorgeous eyes of his filled with tears when you shared this piece of your heart with him.Honest emotion finally erupted out of you, “Why? You don’t even really know me.”You couldn’t say you ever cared about Professor Song before. If anything, she was a mega annoying loser orbiting the world you shared with your dad that you wished you could get rid of.“How do you think I know all of this?” she whispered.Some big fucking context clues were missing, because you had no idea what the hell she was talking about.Until she walked back to her desk, turned that picture frame around, and you saw… your face.Teenaged you was sitting in a booth at the VBeach Applebees in your school uniform, glaring up an angry storm that someone else was there and making you take the stupid picture. But in the background, Professor Song and your dad were snorting into their beers over something hilarious, wrapped up in each other to the point that they didn’t even look in the camera.A ray of sunshiney clearness hit the middle of your chest. “O-oh. Really?”The tears in her eyes, a bowl of familiar candy on her desk, her uncontrollable anger at the mention of his wife’s mistreatment. Everything was pointing to one conclusion.But what got you was thinking of your dad meeting this kind woman after he was already married, spending all his time with a person who understood him, remembering her gentle attempts at forming a bond with you. Finding out he reassured his close friend that he only got married for your sake - and not because he was in love - made you realize what this had been all along.Takes an eye that’s been in love to see it.And when Professor Song turned back to face you, you realized that her necklace was his initial on a chain.“He was my dearest friend,” she confessed to you through a downpour of quiet sorrow. “That’s all it ever was.”You had to get that diary back, even if it fucking killed you.

[6:04 pm] you to dumbass: sup saw u were in town. interested in seeing johnny's show?
 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

[12:14 am] dumbass: OMG where are you?!?! im at NCT and ive been waiting for a VIP table for forever!!!!!

You pumped your fist harder. You weren’t ready to deal with that. Not yet.Standing in the back of the DJ booth gave you the best hiding spot to look out over the club crowds and determine what areas you should be avoiding. There was nothing catching your eye so far except for the same grungy crowd that always turned up for a rowdy Saturday night at No Club Tougher. However, the most interesting thing by far was that Nayeon had also made it to the back of the booth and was also doing more surveillance and less dance... just like you were.After elbowing your way over to that corner, you shouted in her ear, “Why are you fucked up?”“Just uh… tired. Just tired.” She knew you knew that was bullshit - you just did three vodka Red Bulls in front of each other - and resorted to being petty instead, “You’re the one acting like a freak.”“If you don’t shut the fuck up, you’re both gone from the booth,” Johnny shouted at you, then transformed the word booth into a WOO so loud it blew your eardrums out and had the crowd riled up.You couldn’t say he was bad at what he did.“At least someone’s having a good time,” Nayeon muttered.Solbin was living it up in the middle of the crowd (she said she wanted to experience the club amongst the common folk, lmao), chugging her wine spritzer and making sure that the cute tube top from Nayeon’s closet stayed taped to her chest. You looked down at your tiny, plain black dress and kinda wished Solar was around, despite how awful your last interaction was. She always knew how to make you look hot.Dawon somehow managed to look elegant while throwing ass and screaming, “Well, I’m having a good time!”You were bombarded with unexpected self-reflection at the sight of her, in your signature high pony and a truly minuscule pink skirt set that came from the depths of your party girl past. You loved dressing like that, still did, still always would, but you had almost grown... comfortable.. with the little changes in your wardrobe you'd gradually accumulated. Sigh.Johnny’s eyes bugged out of his head and the flirting was on, “Whoa, I didn’t even recognize you. You look just like Blue…”Dawon’s face fell and you and Nayeon slid your hands over your throats at the same time, the eternal gesture of Cut it the fuck out.“…but hotter.”Lol.Lmao, even.His save was just in time and just enough to have her beam-swooning to the gods. Then Dawon reached for his bicep just so she could ask, “Can you show me how you do your DJ thing? I’ve never been this close to one before.”“Absolutely, step into my lab.” Not like Johnny would’ve never said no to that.He stepped aside for her and she made well sure she rubbed her ass against him when she slipped into the DJ booth. You could not stop ironically laughing at any of it - who knew Dawon’s real type was a barely-employed, super hot DJ.“Should we warn her not to fuck him?” You started to dick around, only to see that Nayeon was looking into the crowd again and not paying any attention. “Na? HellooOOOoooOO? What the hell is wrong?”“I keep thinking I’m seeing her.”Your chest tightened as you glanced out into the flashing lights. There were enough girls with short haircuts on the dance floor that you understood the bursts of fear bothering Nayeon. Enough guys with long black hair had walked by that you'd forced your brain into tuning them out completely.“That’s the vodka talking.” But when your joke flopped and she still didn’t laugh or even smile, you got serious, “Has she said anything to you?”You received a treasure trove of undercover messages you shouldn’t’ve and that was from a person who didn’t grow up technologically savvy. There’s no way your friend’s sorta-girlfriend would just leaving her hanging like this.Nayeon shook her head with such sad energy. “No. Not that I thought she would.”“Don’t say that, dude."“I mean, it would’ve never worked in the first place.” She let out a deep sigh and chugged the rest of her drink for the strength to continue. “I’m a washed-up lawyer that hasn’t practiced in half a year and she’s first in line for whatever inheritance and modeling fame she’s always wanted.”You were sure if Nayeon was lawyer-ing again she’d find some kind of hidden evidence to feel better about this but who were you to push her? You were stuck in your own lame-ass emotional tantrum and definitely not looking for practical solutions.Working with Professor Song was really messing with your brain, lol.After throwing an arm around her and sneaking the cup out of her hands to take a swig, you let out a dainty little laugh, “Haven’t you heard? True love is the solution to all your problems.”Nayeon wasn’t having any of your bullshit, “It wasn’t true love. I think she just thought I was hot.”“So….. move on, then.” You were both still hot and single! If your ended relationships were as unserious as you were pretending they were, then why were you still acting like losers!“You move on, Blue—Whoa, what are you looking at.”When you purposefully attempted to ogle the hottest non-prince man you’d ever seen - with tattoos and piercings and dyed blonde hair galore - your eyes slipped to who was next to him instead… Yuna, in a poofy purple princess minidress, standing on the tips of her massive heels to look around for you. You didn't have words to describe how fucking uncomfortable it was to finally see her in the place she’d never once terrorized in the past fifteen years.Johnny pulled you away before you could do anything and asked as nosily as possible, “Why did I just see your man here?”You flashed him the double middle finger. “Your jealousy is showing. Just ‘cause a guy here finds me hot doesn’t mean—”“Not your man," Johnny said. "Your. man.”He was here?No, the plan wasn’t for him to come with.The plan was to have a talk with Yuna on your home turf about meeting up and getting the journal some other time, then, after that, you’d figure out how to be okay with seeing him again. He wasn’t supposed to be here at an actual club, there’s no way he could handle that. Fuck.... That meant this conversation had to happen, like, right now. Since he was def in the non-VIP section somewhere about to explode.“I have to get something back from him, so,” you said breathlessly. “Wish me luck.”“Good fucking luck, dude.” Johnny was so genuine when he reciprocated that it made you wonder where the hell this version of him was your whole relationship. He wasn't a half-bad dude when he stopped actively being a mega douche.But you couldn’t say you wanted him back. Not anymore.Behind the booth, Dawon was dancing to the music but not doing a good job of hiding her attempt at figuring out if you and Johnny were flirting or just being friendly. She wanted him to pay attention to her so badly and it was so obvious - she still had a pinky hanging off of his elbow where he’d moved away from their arms looped together.Feeling stirred with sudden emotion, you got close to Johnny - but not too close, and you definitely didn’t touch him - to give him some private advice, “By the way, I know you have no fucking clue, but Dawon likes you.” His entire face lit up with boyish surprise and something about it hurt your heart. “If you think you could have even a shred of feelings towards her one day, maybe try something different this time.”Johnny glanced back at Dawon, confused by your sudden reveal yet not. When she smiled at him, face lit up with the brilliant glow of a crush, you saw the romantic wheels turning in his thick skull.God, you’d changed more than you ever fucking thought.And no, you weren’t ready for any of this. But you just had to do it.The group of you had ruled over the crowd at NCT for long enough that the regulars knew to part and let you by without a word from you. You made a beeline for the non-VIP line that you’d spotted from the DJ booth and the whole time you were hoping and hoping and hoping that the vodka RedBull blanket would be enough to keep you from vomiting (lmao) when you saw them together—“Sis!”But Yuna was alone. There was no one with her except for a singular disguised palace security guard standing right behind her in line.She gave you the fakest hug possible, then chirped in your ear, “Hey! The bouncers didn’t recognize me as the princess, I couldn’t get to the VIP tables. I texted you.”Nowhere in your invite did you say she’d get a VIP table? What was this girl smoking? Did she pregame with too many happy pills? Lol.You played dumb in every way possible, “Sorry, didn’t see you. Or…?”You expected an explosion of love that made you want to carve your eyes out. Not Yuna stomping her little foot in a tantrum and immediately complaining, “Jae’s here, but ughhhhh. Even though I love him so much, he doesn’t like my music or the outfits I pick out for us to wear…”Because he didn’t have any knowledge about her music or outfits?“…I don’t understand what he says half the time and he never understands me either…”Because she never bothered to learn the way he communicated?“And we haven’t even kissed yet!”Even that wasn’t enough to make you feel good. Because you knew there was going to be a day when he was going to have to kiss her... while you were over here, trapped in this fuckass quicksand of thinking you may never kiss another person again.Yuna finished off her dramatic rant with another foot stomp and a huffy, “Plus he’s so tired and sleeps a lot every day. Oh, and he hates taking pictures for Insta—are you listening to me?”Caught up in yet another mention of how tired he looked and your depressed internal monologue, you couldn't bring yourself to properly respond or even acknowledge anything she was saying. Were they just working him to the bone with these engagement events and press tours? Or was there some deeper, more hurtful underbelly to these naps that had stressed your stepsister out to the point of near insanity?Luckily, your lack of response fed into this nonchalant role you were playing, “Oh? Are you finally done?”She pouted and stomped her foot a third time. “This is serious.”“This is not my problem anymore. I just need to talk to him for a second.” He was never more than a foot away from you at all times, so why the hell did she let him run off? There was a chance he wasn’t even in the club anymore!Yuna grabbed your arms in a sudden death grip and began confronting you, “What do you have to talk to my fiancé about?! We’re a couple now, you have to tell me!”
None of your fucking goddamn business.
This is why you needed to be on your turf.You knew you could shrug her off with a hint of potential violence and the bouncers would look the other way and not question it. Even if clubgoers started to stare as you growled in her face, “Where is he? Where the fuck is he?!”Yuna tried to escape you so fast she almost knocked your fellow bottle girl into the mosh pit and… through the chaotic crowd parting to get out of her way, you saw him.Jaehyun, in a beautiful grey fitted suit, was sitting on the bench by coat check, looking tiny and overwhelmed. When he glanced up at a sudden swell of noise, you were able to see (even from across the dark club, which was bad!!!!) that his face had lost every bit of color possible, he was sweaty to the extreme, and he… had his hand pressed over that spot on his arm. Just like Solbin said.You saw pure fucking red.The next thing you knew you were screaming your head off at Yuna, anger smothered under the bass of the song, “Did you even explain this to him?! They didn’t have lights or loud music when he was alive, you fucking dumbass!”You’d worried over the fact that maybe she did love him and you were too blind to see it. Yet the truth had never been more fucking clear - she didn’t give a shit about anything beyond being a princess. She certainly did not give a single shit about Jaehyun.Your body had never moved as fast as it did then to get to him, not even bothered into a fight by her petty scream at your back, You’re such a bitch, Blue! The closer you got to where he was, the more the club noise started to seep into the background as your senses focused directly on your goal. The bouncers actually moved people out of your way so that you wouldn’t have to elbow for space and you ended up reaching that sad little bench way quicker than you thought you would. But when you were standing in front of Jaehyun again, your heart didn’t race, you didn’t lose your mind, your legs stayed strong and didn’t wobble. Seeing him after these weeks spent apart… your mind felt calm for a moment, back to the way it was supposed to be.“Yo,” you murmured.His cute eyelashes peeled apart from where they’d been screwed shut and when he saw you, his mouth fell open. “Y-yo.”“Too loud?”He couldn’t even say yes to answer your question, he just nodded and closed his eyes again.You decided you’d finally believe in another unofficial BFFF motto: What happens at the club… or on the club sidewalk… stays at the club.A soft exhale rushed out of both your mouths when you reached to move the sweaty hair off Jaehyun's face. He just melted into your touch, trapping you there with your palm splayed against his cheek. He was so hot that you were worried a terrible fever was burning him up from the inside, not just a sauna reaction from three layers of fabric and an incredibly packed room.You held his shoulders and beckoned, “Okay, we’re gonna go outside.”“What?!” Jaehyun shouted, unable to hear.“Just come," you said.After pulling him up to his full height, you… reached to cover his ears and felt him visibly relax once the noise was muffled. Your senses went on high alert as he reached to your waist to hold you, like he didn’t know what else to do except give his hands what they wanted most. But there was truly nothing you could do to stop him. You shuffled Jaehyun out of the club while walking backwards, not paying attention to literally anything else but his magnetic eyes locked on yours.He stumbled out of the entrance and almost crushed you to the ground. You caught him with your entire bodyweight in the nick of time and his shuddering breath rebounded right into your ear.“Are you okay?!” you gasped.Jaehyun shook his head and gripped your arm so tightly that you knew you were going to have bruises in the morning. Though you weren't exactly sure how it happened, you made it out onto the sidewalk together and still in one piece after that. But as soon as your momentum came to a halt, he ended up stuck in one spot on the concrete, unable to make his jellied legs move again.You managed keep a hold on his hand even as you approached the nearest late night cart vendor, knowing exactly what would help. “Do you have water bottles? He needs one,” you asked politely.“Ten dollars, please!” The young dude immediately tried to scam you with a stupid-ass grin, like you were too fucked up to read the sign that said $1.“Give me the bottle. Do not fuck with me.”You raised your hand like you were going to slap him - maybe not your finest moment - and the loser quickly handed over the bottle. Not satisfied with that victory, you gave him the finger before you ran back over to Jaehyun.He was still so shaky he couldn’t hold the bottle on his own, let alone undo the cap. So you tipped the water past his cracked lips and soothed him softly as you did, “There you go, you silly boy. You’ll feel better soon.”Tender streams poured down his neck and chest as he drank because he was trembling hard. And when even that coolness wasn’t enough, he ripped the bottle out of your hands and dumped it over his head. You could see his shoulders deflating as his temperature tapered off, making obvious he felt much better. You ran your fingers through his hair (to help, only to help) and the tension sunk out of him completely.Jaehyun’s eyes caught yours through the soaking fringe of his bangs and you could see the dark bags stained under them, the creases of his eye wrinkles holding on for dear life. It was staggering how heavy his exhaustion felt up close like this.So, when he pulled you into a hug, you didn’t back away. Water droplets dripped all over your face and your skin, you knew your makeup and anguish would be left stained on his suit, but you couldn’t worry about any of that. This felt too right. Things were too good again. You just held onto Jaehyun, let his hands desperately press into you, and begged your bad memory to save what this felt like… since this was definitely the last time you’d ever hug him.Then... a stiff, square outline in his suit jacket pocket pressed against your cheek. Just from that touch you knew what it was.Jaehyun was carrying it around with him?You waited for him to let go, unwilling to be the first to lose, and he must’ve had the same thought based on how tight the embrace got. But eventually, he needed to take a big breath to steady himself and stepped away to do so. You took that chance to do the same, moving far enough back he couldn’t touch you again without mega effort.When Jaehyun realized that you were gone and his stare folded under such sadness - making him look like a normal guy with wet hair and a incredibly broken heart - things shifted back out of place.“I, um…” Should you just say that to him here? On the shitty concrete outside of your favorite club? “I need the journal back.”No, you couldn’t to do that to him.Jaehyun shook his head and water went everywhere. “No.”Your mind truly went blank.You didn’t expect that from him at all, so you had no control over what came out of your mouth next, “A month with her and your prince privilege is already kicking back in? Jesus, that’s bad.”He didn’t laugh at your joke. You didn’t laugh at your joke.Jaehyun reached into his suit pocket and took out the leather journal, but you knew it wasn't going to be this easy. Every cell that made up your existence was holding its breath for what would come out of his mouth, “I will allow you to reclaim your father’s journal if you allow me to enunciate what I have wished to all this time.”You should stop him.You should stop him at all costs, knowing without a doubt what he wanted to say. But you needed the journal. And selfishly, you wanted these to be the last words you’d ever exchange.You nodded and Jaehyun handed over your dad’s journal.The weight of his hand hadn’t even come off of it before he was speaking in that gorgeous voice of his, itching to ensure his end of the deal was fulfilled,“My affection for you is the desperate kind, it insists that I experience the depth of your absence as keenly as possible, here,” he gestured to his tattoo, “here,” then to his heart, “and everywhere else on me that you have taken up residence in. I would have been content living a dedicated life reveling in you, I have found no other endeavors as gratifying in any era I have existed through.”You just let go of everything and experienced someone telling you they loved you for the first time.“I fear I may be trapped in the grandiose embrace of your unrequited feelings for every day there is to follow, but it is an embrace I will happily return to until the day comes where my slumber shall be eternal.”Jaehyun was breathing hard and his dark eyes were lined with such impressive determination they took your breath away, but you had the sense he wasn’t done.And he wasn’t.His head shook the tiniest bit, like he couldn’t believe these were the circumstances he was forced into, before he let out a disbelieving laugh and murmured, “Or, as I have learned they say now… I am in love with you.”
I’m in love with you, too.
Your fingers dug past the shiny diamonds he hadn’t realized you were wearing, to feel the reassurance of something familiar as you neatly denied him, “I understand.”Jaehyun staggered so hard then, worse than he did coming out of the club. Like he’d suffered some strange physical reaction to your rejection.“Whoa, are you okay?” You worried over him, you always fucking did, and held out a hand just in case he did it again.He stepped back so abruptly from the chance of being touched by you and the rebounding rush of air also had you fumbling to stand upright. He tried to take a step and his knees knocked together, but when as you grasped for the lapel of his suit, he pushed you away with no control—“Your highness, please stop!”Mark jumped in the middle of your sudden, unexplainable beef and held you apart so you couldn’t inflict any more damage on each other. You were clutching the journal with screaming fingers, Jaehyun was glaring at you like he hated you with everything in him, and when Mark caught him from falling again, a strange tear formed in Jaehyun's eye.Your fellow employee must’ve been standing there long enough to hear all of it. Since he took that chance to slick back Jaehyun’s wet hair and comfort him like you wanted to, “You should take a rest, you seem exhausted.”“Yes.” Jaehyun could only mumble that syllable before his large frame slumped against his friend’s and he closed his eyes again, done with it all.Mark was the one to awkwardly smile in apology. Mark was the one to check and make sure you were okay. Mark was the one to look over his shoulder and wave goodbye to you, not saying anything to avoid upsetting Jaehyun further.“Seeya,” you whispered.They disappeared around the corner of the block and left you as a wrapped-up ball of confused, awful emotion.What were you supposed to do, though?You wanted more than anything to burst out in an aggressively lovely reflection of everything Jaehyun said - to tell him you loved him back and unleash all the stupid fantasies that had built in your head. But you exchanged your freedom for your silence and had to deal with the consequences. Which meant all you could do was stand there and stare at the water stain spreading on the concrete.The sound of approaching heel steps made you awkwardly trip as you tried to get out of the way of drunk clubgoers about to crush you on the sidewalk. But then, you heard Nayeon’s voice slipping by your pounding eardrums, “What the fuck are you doing out here? Do you wanna go somewhere else?”“I just wanna go home.” You wanted to crawl into bed and never come out again.Why did this all have to be so fucked up? You never wanted your relationship with Jaehyun to end in tragedy, you would’ve second-guessed everything about your agreement if you knew you would both feel this horrible.“What happened?”“Nothing.”“The guy with the good posture said I love you and a bunch of things I didn’t get and she said I understand.” The vendor guy you’d pissed off earlier got one back on you by spilling your secrets to Nayeon. When you shot him the most evil look possible, he just shrugged, thinking it was drunk antics and not the worst thing ever. “Sorry, lady. You told me to fuck off.”Nayeon gave him the finger again, then gathered you up and moved down the sidewalk so she could ask you in private, “He was here? He said I love you?”“I had to get this back,” you cried softly and hugged the journal harder.“You gave him your dad’s journal?!" she gasped. "Are you crazy?!”You thought having it would make it easier for Jaehyun to………….. remember.Her sigh had just as much sorrow in it as you felt, “Okay, let’s go home. John will survive without us.”She put an arm around your shoulders and practically carried you out of there like Mark did with him. You tripped over your feet again and didn’t know why tears weren’t coming out of your eyes when you were crying as hard as you were, when you were hurting everywhere like—“Wait! Wait!”Even though the pitch didn’t match his intoxicating deepness, the alcohol and your sadness sloshed around in a terrible tornado that made you turn around….“Eunbi?!”To see Eunbi running up the sidewalk - suitcase in hand since it would only slow her down - looking like she’d just stepped out of a magazine pictorial in an unwrinkled green jumpsuit. Only… her baby hairs standing on edge and the desperate look on her face gave away that she had indeed spontaneously showed up in VBeach.She waved her free hand to get your attention and started shouting, “Am I late?! Why are you leaving so early?!”“What are you doing here?” Nayeon breathed in awe.This was the real romance of the hour, not whatever brutal violence happened back there. The two of them coated in the glow of the streetlamp, Eunbi’s disheveled elegance, Nayeon’s planned skimpiness, it was a sight to behold. You watched as they became unable to look away from each other, like they knew they were so fucking lucky to have met at this place and at this time.“She’s in love with you, you’re in love with her,” you droned blankly, loud enough for the two of them to hear and shut up. “Please just save the drama for another time.”One of you had to get a win, the BFFF club could not go on like this.Eunbi fought a grin that looked like it might split her face in two, then she held up her phone for you to read. “Actually, I got a strangely crude message from your ex-boyfriend, inviting me to perform sexual acts with him…”

Hey, Eunbi! Interested in sucking some Big D…Johnny tonight? Come out to VBeach’s No Club Tougher and get that ass up… in line!

You could never shit on Johnny's stupid automated text invites again.She turned to Nayeon with sparkling star teardrops decorating the corners of her eyes and took a great, shuddering, brave inhale. Then Eunbi just said it, “But yes. I love you. I will have better articulation another day, but I love you and everything about you.”These rich people really knew how to draw up their love confessions.Nayeon was squeezing the life out of your arm, unable to process any of what was happening. Her asshole instinct kicked in to protect her, “I am not being any little lord’s side bitch.”“Good, because I told my parents to… fuck off.”Eunbi carefully said that profane little phrase and when her happy smile flickered to life right after, it was obvious to you that she wasn’t lying. She’d come to care for Nayeon so much that she was willing to throw away decades of her family tradition without knowing what would come next.“Give me your purse.” You nudged Nayeon and she didn’t move, then, impatient and frustrated, you yelled at her, “Give me your fucking purse and go!”As you ripped the bag off her arm, Nayeon let out a rebounding sob that almost got you, then Eunbi sobbed and your heart whined, and they went running to each other at the same time. They caught together in a heated hug in the middle of the sidewalk, too overwhelmed to care that they were blocking the foot traffic, too relieved to even bring themselves to kiss. And when you watched their heads bury together, it was over for you.You cried softly and clung onto the journal for dear, dear life. It was all you had left. — “Blue!”Your eyes flashed open and you felt your entire body crackle back into existence, covered in this terrible sweat due to the streaks of your disappearing nightmares. You couldn’t even remember what they were, just that you were left with a deep, empty ache in your chest every time you tried to breathe.A voice too cheerful to be Nayeon’s slammed into you, “Get up, your gut-healthy, hangover cure breakfast is ready!”Wait… was it the morning?You were still in your club dress, but sun was pouring through the window. Your mouth down to your throat down to your heart felt cracked through with this unfixable dryness.Then the lingering nightmare’s evil plot pricked back into your brain. The only visual you could remember was your dad's soulless presence transforming into the flutter of Jaehyun’s pretty eyelashes as your tears dripped onto his motionless face. But you certainly could still feel the phantom shake your hands gave his shoulders as he slept and slept in your bed, unable to be woken up.Your hand aimlessly fumbled for the journal on the other pillow and then you turned over to see Eunbi in the doorway of your room, wearing Nayeon’s pajamas and holding out a glass of the greenest shit you’d ever seen in your apartment.So. None of that was a dream.The rest of last night was glazed in an empty shine - watching Nayeon and Eunbi try their hardest not to kiss in front of you, walking on the sidewalk behind their intertwined hands. Hearing them whisper I love you to each other while making drunk food since they thought you weren’t listening, their giggles pouring through the closed door as you sunk into your bed alone. Your feelings towards their reunion were so fucking bittersweet. It would’ve felt so goddamn romantic if you hadn’t had the confession of a lifetime right before.You took the smoothie and mumbled, “Where’s Nayeon,” in place of a proper greeting.“She went out to get a bit more for breakfast?" Eunbi answered. "She made some weird noise as she left. The Wahmah or something? Is that a store name?”It actually hurt.You pretended to rub the sleep out of your eyes to cover for wiping the continuing tears away. Then you sat up into a more presentable posture and tried to make sense of how you came to be here, “Did you really tell your parents to fuck off?”Eunbi glanced behind her to make sure Nayeon wasn’t there, then was more honest than you expected, “It was… the other way around, I suppose. Not very pleasant.” She sunk down on the bed with the shakiest energ and you realized she didn’t want Nayeon to know any of her pain. “I cried on the phone to Jaehyun for an hour while waiting at the train station to come here.”Your next inhale wreaked absolute havoc on you. “You. You what?”“Oh, he knows how to use a phone. In exchange for listening to me cry every day, he made me teach him how to do voice to text and whatnot,” she laughed softly.You closed your eyes when the room spun, not ready to hear that he’d conned her into giving him the secret ways to contact you. You couldn’t decide if it was another ribbon of fated romance tying you together or if you were regretting the drops of rebellion you’d inspired him.She waited until you took a sip of the smoothie - which was stupidly refreshing, ugh - to ask, “Have you decided what you might do with your newfound spare time? You should go into makeup artistry as a career.”“Because you think I can’t do anything else?” Your rage boiled over and subsided all at once and left you sheepishly apologizing, “Sorry.”This new inadequacy-insecurity doubleheader was hard to get control over.“Well, you made me look nice enough that someone special found me beautiful, so… I’m not wrong.” Eunbi looked so happy and gorgeous whenever she blushed like this, nothing but pink cheeks and fluttering feelings. It unleashed this emerald green envy you did not know how to deal with.And while it was heartwarming to think of yourself as the fairy godmother who orchestrated their love at first sight, being a makeup artist was not the career you wanted anymore. You’d done that for too long under circumstances you hated.“I don’t know what’s next,” you whispered sadly. “I don’t know anything—”“Breakfast is served, bitch!”Nayeon had returned during your heart to heart with Eunbi and waited until that quiet moment before she quarterback-launched something at you from the front door. A plastic something landed in your lap and the tears in your eyes multiplied as soon as your fingertips grazed it.“But I made you both healthy food to offset the drinking you did. Babe!”“It’s just for her. It was a shitty night.”“Oh no. Really? That’s terrible, Blue, I’m so sorry—”The cartoon red font spelling out DING DONGS crinkled when your hands gripped the package hard, then you pressed your face into it and just started sobbing quietly. Your kept-in tears splashed everywhere, racing to coat your bare legs, the pastries, your bedspread, the journal with an ugly pattern of your torn-apart insides. The pain wasn’t even as intense as it was in the days after he'd ended things. The ache of emptiness was nothing but an endless bother you were never getting over, especially after you'd gotten kinda comfortable with the idea of maybe sharing your life with somebody.Eunbi’s fingers awkwardly trailed towards your knee before they stopped. “Are you… crying?”You lifted your face so she could see the gross streaks of tears through your smudged makeup and snapped, “What do you fucking think.”You hated Jaehyun the most for unlocking the most dramatic emotions possible in you, like… what the fuck was all this?! It sucked.Nayeon shoved you over so she could climb into the bed, a specific dream of yours come to life, then she quietly fussed, “You never told me what happened, I didn’t even know he was going to be there.”“What the drink cart guy said was right,” you whispered.Or, as I have learned they say now… I am in love with you.“Damn. He said I love you...” Nayeon mouthed it to Eunbi so you didn’t have to hear it again, but seeing it still fucking sucked. “...And she must’ve not said it back.”“Why would you not reciprocate?!" Eunbi gasped loudly. "I felt as if he made a mistake sticking with tradition, I encouraged him to—”“I honestly don’t give a fuck about how you were great friends.” You were so jealous Eunbi got to be around him for these past few weeks that you wanted to pass out. You should’ve accepted his offer to just be friends or stuck around to do your job or leeched off of him, or, or something!Eunbi risked holding your ankle until you lifted your teary gaze to meet hers. “All I was going to say was that I encouraged him to say the things I regretted not saying myself and he encouraged me in return. That is all our relationship has ever been.”The unspoken end of her sentence was there, We could never bring each other the happiness we craved.“Go to him, be with him.” Eunbi shook your leg around as if she could physically make you do what she ordered. “You were good with your deceptions, but I cannot believe he chose Yuna over you because he wanted to?”The words he said to you last night made that very clear, but the rest of his decision-making had left you more confused than ever.“It’s not that simple,” you sighed, filled to the brim with regret.Nayeon kept it vague to respect you and have her girlfriend in the loop at the same time, “There’s a lot of uh…. money and family stuff involved.”He walked away from you never knowing your biggest secret and that would always be what you regretted the most. Jaehyun knowing the truth would’ve made it almost feel like none of it ever happened.Eunbi playfully pushed Nayeon’s shoulder and said in mock frustration, “You two should’ve told me before my family disowned me, I would’ve spared some change for you!”That got you to smile a little.But your hand brushed over the plastic snack wrapper where it’d fallen onto the journal and the solemn reminder of everything you’d lost pierced through your heart. “No, it’s fine. I saw him one last time and that was… enough.”Hearing Jaehyun say he loved you was somehow what you’d been waiting for your whole life.Eunbi had true tears of sympathy dripping onto her cheeks when she whispered, “How could that possibly be enough?”You didn’t know how to answer her.Thankfully, your phone went off before you could finish that thought.Exhausted and unwilling to drag any bullshit out, you answered without looking, “What the fuck is up?”“It’s Mark.” Your breathing caught and you knew the other girls heard who it was since he was talking so loudly, “Please come back to the palace immediately, his highness—”Eunbi grabbed the phone out of your hands and spat into the receiver, “This is Lady Eunbi. Fuck off,” before she hung up for you. Nayeon patted her head like that was the proudest she could be and the two of them broke out into smitten giggles right after.At least someone was using their new freedom to the max, lol.You felt better - not good, but better - as you sunk into Nayeon’s embrace for one last second and sighed, “I think I’m going to go out for a little. Thanks.” That last word wasn’t a mistake, you couldn't believe you had a two-sided support system now and weren't just struggling on your own. “Really thanks, I… just. Thank you.”Eunbi leaned onto the corner of your bed and you ended up wrapped into a bi-icon sandwich that you really did appreciate more than you could vocalize. But their babying was a little too much to take right then. You wanted to walk and clear your head, maybe get some sugar in your system to break through the emotional hangover.Yet once you grabbed the journal and went outside, you saw the beautiful, cloudless summer sky and the branches of the great oak tree shading the curb perfectly, and that was as far as your walk went. You plopped right down in front of the tree and tried to make your peace with it all.Jaehyun and Yuna didn’t interact in front of you once, yet it still hurt to know he'd come with her, to watch how she treated him, to accept that he was sharing the outside world with someone other than you. But there was only so much unraveling of his decision that you could do before you were only hurting yourself. You just had to move on somehow, right? The only thing you could think of to make yourself feel better was seeing your dad’s handwriting and the little blue whales again - the pictures never did it justice. But when you opened the journal once again, you found yourself flipping to the end, where your stupid handwriting had added in the final line about the caterpillars. You were once again filled with the foolish hope that these memories would be enough to survive on while moving through the journey of a life spent alone.Only, that wasn’t the last line anymore.The princess… You almost stopped there, unwilling see what Jaehyun had written about Yuna in a book she wasn’t ever supposed to know about. But your heart knew to keep going. She is quite fond of whales.That was all Jaehyun had added, in the most elegant cursive font possible.And Eunbi was right. It wasn’t enough. — Professor Song flipped to a page in the journal and burst out laughing.“Please tell me that isn’t I’m fucked laughing,” you groaned from where you were scrolling through the new pictures of it. “All I’ve found in the stuff I haven't read is that Yuna’s grandpa apparently liked Dada a lot. He would call his glasses peculiarly charming.”He did wear such loser-y glasses. You still had them in a box somewhere.And Professor Song was supposed to be helping you look for clues into this missing inheritance money, not having the time of her life on a walk to remember with your dad. Every time you’d met up over the past two weeks she’d been like this. It was so fucking cringe... but not.You saw literal hearts in her eyes as she sighed, “No, I meant that your dad was such a shit stirrer.”Again, ew. But not.Then, she showed you a blurb that you honestly had tattooed on the inside of your brain by now:

I have stumbled upon a story claiming that prior to the wedding, the good lady’s sister put a curse* on the prince so that the Lady of the Violets would not be doomed to a loveless marriage punctuated with these affairs.

*Of course, this has no root or proof within history… or reality if we’re being honest. Haha. Blue would find this funny, though. She hates boys right now.

“I know, it’s ironic,” you chuckled softly as your fingers ran over the whale in the corner. A reference to you hating boys on the very page that pretty much started it all was the definition of ironic.“No, just…. He was the most dedicated scholar but always believed in this conspiracy theory.”“I don’t think it’s a conspiracy theory anymore.”Professor Song glanced at you in surprise. “Seriously? A curse of true love is something you think is real?”You shrugged, not even embarrassed about it. Unless this whole thing turned out to be you tripping massive balls - which couldn’t be possible because you hadn’t done psychedelics in years - it all happened, so…And it’s not like the colonial folk had cryofreeze or whatever, either.“Did you kiss him before he woke up like they do in a princess movie?” She was being an asshole in asking that question for sure, only to get her brain fucking scrambled when you nodded. “What? You did?”“Kind of," you laughed quietly.You didn’t have to scroll to find it this time, since it was now marked with a glowy heart in the top row of your favorites - the first picture you and Jaehyun ever took together before he was awake, of you making that flirty kissy face right by his portrait.Professor Song rolled her eyes, unwilling to believe it even with proof, then made a really horrible joke, “Think he’s sleeping again now that you’re gone?”“Fuck off.” That nightmare of his permanently closed eyes and withering, beautiful eyelashes came back to haunt you every night and you could not get rid of it—“Hold on, hold on. Don’t move.” You froze like an idiot at her loud, excited voice, not knowing if you were about to get knocked the fuck out by a spider or something worse. “You look just like the Lady of the Violets at this angle! Especially with a more… modest dress on.”You held back from giving her the middle finger. So fucking what that you borrowed a long summer dress from Eunbi because you didn’t feel like getting hit on by the college students! This wasn’t a thing!“Look, this was the engagement portrait sent to the prince.”She turned her laptop around to show you a different painting than the one hung up at the palace that you'd grown familiar with. That painting had been made after the Lady’s marriage, but the one you were looking at was clearly from an earlier time. Her face was indeed tilted to her book in the same direction as you were glancing at your phone and she looked younger, closer to your age and far happier than she did in her formal portrait. It was so eerie seeing the similar face shape and hair color and eyes and everything, even more so when you saw her empty wrist hidden in her sleeve.“Poor girl,” you sighed. “At least she died happy.”You wonder if she ever regretted… any of it.“What? No, she didn’t,” Professor Song corrected, a bit surprised you’d said so.“But Dada said she got married to someone else and had a bunch of kids.” He wasn’t wrong, you knew there was no way he’d gotten these facts mixed up.“She did, but he elaborated further in the chapter dedicated to her life. She had a bunch of children that she raised on her own because her husband was the equivalent of a colonial deadbeat father. He would shirk lordly duties to travel to nearby towns and perform as a bard, then… you know.”Wait, was Professor Song telling you that your colonial doppelgänger ended up married to a traveling musician who fucked everyone that came to his shows?Your jaw dropped. “He had groupies?”“Based on the record of illegitimate children he had, ha, yes,” she confirmed with a funny cackle.She skipped a few pages to a passage in the journal titled, The marriage of the Lady of the Violets to Lord Johnson of Philadelphia, and right underneath it was a note from your dad to himself, Tell Blue to avoid all musicians in the future. L O L!You wanted off this weird rollercoaster ride. L O L!Both of you descended into silence as you sat side-by-side at her desk and kept reading together.

I would probably avoid putting this in a published manuscript, but is this not proof of a true love curse? The good Lady dodged her fear of a loveless marriage just to end up in one that was arguably worse. There was no predicting how the prince would have been as a husband. Part of me feels like he may have changed for the better if they had allowed their relationship to blossom.

You had a hard time reading that last little bit. The evidence was against Jaehyun at that point in history, but it felt like he was always destined to be one of the good ones, no matter what happened.

She seemed to express regret in a letter I discovered, sent to her parents after her husband’s first illegitimate child came to their family estate:

I do wonder if his majesty is experiencing a peaceful slumber. Days pass where I cannot help but long for the quick-witted correspondences we once shared. I dare say that both his highness and myself would have ensured our marriage be enjoyable regardless of the circumstances.

Girl to girl, that read exactly like she was having second thoughts.

Allegedly, her sister was never seen again after the marriage. There were rumors she became a ghost that haunted the palace and could never leave its walls, but of course Joyce thinks I’m crazy every time I bring it up. :)

The period was dotted with a tiny, goofy smile and you couldn’t believe you missed all those clues.“I still do,” Professor Song said quietly.You wanted to hate the idea of them liking each other so goddamn much, but it felt too right somehow.The next line made your heart clench so hard you got chest cramps as you read it out loud for her, “But at least Grandpa Jung enjoys the conspiracies. He said if I kept telling him these stories, he was going to end up giving me all of his money. That way I could buy new glasses.”That certainly was something you’dexpected.“Huh. Give me a second.” Professor Song grabbed the diary and took a picture of that blurb to text someone. At least someone was dedicated to the cause of helping you out, no matter how many cringe moments she induced along the way.But before you could ask what she was doing, your phone lit up in a call from Mark, followed by stream of texts as soon as you declined it.

[1:15 pm] nananana BATMAN: palace is ringing me again
[1:16 pm] nananana BATMAN: blocked right?
[1:16 pm] you: yes sry

You never usually hid from dudes in a petty way like this, but it was just so much easier to pretend that he didn’t exist—“The palace is reaching out to you?”Ducking away from her knowing gaze, you felt your cheeks burning as you denied it, “Don’t give me that look, he’s engaged.” The palace staff certainly wasn’t going to let Jaehyun leave Shakespearean-level voice notes or hug you outside of clubs anymore.“He could be married with kids and I would presume he’d still give preference to you,” Professor Song said wryly. “Maybe not the lesson he was supposed to learn, but…”No, def not.“What the fuck do you think I should do?” you unloaded on her out of nowhere, suddenly the one stable adult figure you had left in your life. You were almost thirty goddamn years old, but sometimes you needed a parent to tell you what to do.She looked at you with warm eyes and you were ready for some cringe-inducing advice that you’d have to accept, “Maybe tone down your cursing if you want to have any sort of public approval as a royal.”“Oh, piss off,” you scoffed as she laughed her ass off.Maybe.
Maybe.
“I’m not sure, though.” Professor Song thought for a moment, doing her best to help you out emotionally as much as she was financially, “The stuff you’ve told me kinda feels like you’re going through the modern day rebound of this curse.”Goosebumps covered your wrist and your neck at the same time, the invisible, slimy strands the slithering to capture your heart with an unbreakable grip. Pain like this could only be the result of a curse, you refused to accept it was a consequence of just living. Nothing you'd ever done in this life had merited this level of emotional punishment.You were surprised she was the one who brought it up, though, “I thought you didn’t believe in it.”“I can suspend disbelief for you, sure. Think about it...” Her phone dinged with a response from whoever she’d texted and her face went from neutral to shocked in a second, “Wait, let’s see… Oh, oh my goodness.”Your heart skipped a fuckton of beats. “What?”She read off the message at lightning speed, “Your step-grandfather had initiated proceedings to redistribute his will around... that time." That time meant those horrible few months where he'd died of old age and your dad quickly followed, not of old age. "I texted a friend who knew an assistant in the president’s office, they remembered a ton of meetings with his lawyers and accountants.”“What does that mean?”“I don’t know, I’d have a real lawyer dig into it.”“My best friend’s a lawyer, I can give you her number.” Nayeon might’ve been out of commission for a long time, but you had to think that even if she wasn’t able to help you, she knew somebody who could.And after a few minutes of blackout blankness where you didn’t know how to process the new information, you suddenly felt the inside edge of a panic attack spike into you. How could you have missed these details when they were right under your nose? You’d had this journal the whole time and couldn’t ever bring yourself to read it due to your grief.What if you… what if… what….Professor Song heard your shuddering breaths and immediately collected you into a supportive embrace. “Don’t freak out, don’t freak out. We’ll dig and find everything, okay? It’s okay.” You hated that she was the only one here to hug, hated that her embrace felt so soothing. But you couldn’t be more grateful for what she said next, “Your dad always protected you, I’m sure he did so here.” —

Some concerning news from the palace in Arlington tonight, as we have received word that the prince hasn’t answered his public correspondences in a significant...

“Blue. Blue! Jesus, are you even here?”You turned the TV off when you heard Johnny calling for you, then regretted it when you immediately felt like the worst fifth wheel of all time. The seats at your tiny dining table were filled by a flirty Johnny and Dawon plus Nayeon and Eunbi wrapped up in their own little world. Why the hell did Solbin have to go home and leave you here to feel awkward as fuck?Tonight wasn’t even supposed to happen.You and Nayeon had spent the whole afternoon digging deep into some old emails Professor Song sent over, Eunbi suggested getting food to fuel up for a late night, and when Johnny and Dawon showed up at the “““““““coincidental””””””” same time, you all just started vibing. Then dinner was ordered and beers were cracked and the vibing became a full-on no-beef hangout.Dawon followed up with the missing end of that news story, “I keep getting texts that there’s fucking some chaos at the palace or whatever.”“Don’t use it there. Some fucking chaos,” Johnny corrected her awkward use of the profanity.You could not believe that you were experiencing his version of 'putting in effort' and made sure you laughed at his dumb ass, “Nice one, dude.”The bridge of his nose went the faintest pink as he flashed you the middle finger and holy shit, you could not believe that he actually liked her back. Like, you were pretty sure you were full on witnessing Johnny Suh’s first ever real crush.Dawon was so not happy about that little exchange, “Are you two still a thing? Because I don’t want to—”Nayeon stopped Eunbi from feeding her more fries just to cook Dawon for being naive, “Bitch, are you blind?”“Blind about what?!”All heads in your apartment turned towards you and you were honestly surprised that she hadn’t caught onto the massive diamond bracelet draped by where you were clutching your high-speed heartbeat. You’d been slowly adding people onto the list of those who knew your secret, but it never got any easier to talk about.“The prince does have a tattoo, on his arm right below the pulse point on his elbow. It’s of the wrinkle I get when I smile,” you murmured.That was probably the first time you’d ever said smile instead of frown to describe it and your lips couldn’t help turning up to make that tiny wrinkle apparent. Of course you’d tamed the sluttiest man into falling in love with the tiniest thing.Dawon looked like she was about to faint. “Oh… oh my fucking god?”Johnny threw his hands up in victory and hollered, “There we go! Perfect!”“You’re corrupting her,” Eunbi sneered, throwing a fry at his face with perfect aim.“There’s only one person here who has to be careful about their language.” His eyes flicked to you as he said it before he bowed over in his chair, pretending you were sitting on a throne before him.Sigh.“No, it’s over,” you confessed as you sank down on the couch in another storm of sadness. “I told him it had to be that night we were all at the club.”It wasn’t fair that everyone around you kept joking that you’d end up being the princess one day. You weren't ever going to have to tone down your cursing, because that scenario wasn't ever going to happen.As Johnny’s face crumpled in genuine distress for you, Dawon flew into a mini fit trying to put the pieces together, “Wait, wait, wait. I am so behind. You and his royal highness were…”“Fucking,” Johnny filled in the end of the sentence. “Hey, look! Another way to use it!”He was such a waste of oxygen sometimes.Dawon wasn’t mad that she was lied to like you thought she might be. In fact, you saw the dramatic tears in her eyes and realized she was upset you’d had this great big romantic story robbed from you.Which made the truth choke up high in your throat, “We weren’t… we… it’s hard to explain. It was more and less at the same time, and by the time we… it was too late.”There was no possible way to explain falling in love through the parallel strands of time.Nayeon cleared her throat and did what she did best, “Can we change the subject, please?”“I think it would be nice if we all took a trip together,” Eunbi obediently piped up out of nowhere to help out her girlfriend.Everyone in the room looked at her like she was psychotic. Lol.She was pretty stuck on her idea when she explained it, “When I am feeling not quite myself, a relaxing trip to the spa at a tropical resort will always fix it.”You couldn’t say you’d ever pictured the five of you crammed into the apartment and having a burger together, so you supposed a vacation wouldn’t be impossible to accomplish. And a tropical resort spa sounded like a fucking lit way to get over this heartbreak… even if that meant a Motel 6 after a roadtrip to Miami and doing the cheapest face masks they sold at Dollar General.You found yourself hesitating regardless, “I don’t know if I can travel.”“Your broken hearted depression will still let you have some fun,” Nayeon whispered.“No, I’m… I’m working.”Johnny spit out his mouthful of milkshake when you said it.“If you’re teaching me to curse, I am going to teach you table manners. Spit into a napkin,” Dawon scolded Johnny, then showed him how to elegantly duck behind the table to hide what he was doing.And he did it!What the fuck was this sorcery! Was every upper-class bitch actually just a witch?!Johnny was still red-faced and coughing - but not messy! - when he managed to ask the follow-up, “Doing what fucking job?”“I’m, um.” You felt a little bit embarrassed, a lot proud, a fuckton nervous, but if they already knew the worst of it, there was nothing wrong with telling them the truth. “Trying to get my dad’s book published. I go to the university once a week to help. Do not fucking laugh at me.”But no one did… and it felt good.Well, except for Johnny, who snorted once but managed to keep it together. Dawon glared at him and he immediately shut up (groundbreaking as fuck!) so she could wonder, “What’s the book about?”“My dad was a history professor and the focus of his research was on the prince’s era. His whole life, actually, not just the era.”Dawon was beside herself with the destiny of it all, “So, you were always meant to be?”Yeah, maybe you were. In some lifetime that wasn’t that one or this one—A string of frantic knocks burst against your front door.“Go away, we’re having a moment,” Nayeon grumbled under her breath.All five of you let out a big sigh at how heavy the friend dinner had gotten and you got ready to change the subject to something totally fucking stupid instead. But the knocking kept going - whoever it was did nawt get the hint that you weren’t answering.“Fuck off!” Johnny shouted.The knocks turned into the slams of an open palm and an urgent shout, “Open the fucking door!”You got up from the couch, totally pissed off that this whole thing was ruined, tore open the door without checking the peephole and screamed, “What!”…At Mark, who was standing there in your shitty hallway wearing baggy jeans and an old UVA tee, looking very much unlike the Head Chancellor you'd come to know. His hair and face were completely fucked up, like he’d just run down here on foot from the palace - he was exhausted and pissed off and glaring right at you.“Answer your fucking phone sometime and don’t make me take a goddamn bus down here! The prince has fallen asleep and will not wake up.” 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Nayeon kicked your leg so hard by accident, but the pain was good. The pain meant you weren’t dreaming.No one could say a word though, so it was up to Johnny and his nosy ass to ask Mark, “What… what do you mean will not wake up, bro. He’s not d—”“Do not say that word,” Eunbi ordered without looking his way, just in case that word was what he'd attempted to say.You could feel your heart beating so plainly in your chest it was almost ironic that question had to be asked. You should be able to feel if his… if… if his stopped.Mark flattened down his hair and got his shit together to give you the formal detail of the events, “Since returning from Virginia Beach the first time, his highness began feeling unwell and began sleeping a lot. But I took that to be the result of his heightened emotional state and the new things he was experiencing. But after the latest trip, he laid down to rest and… did not wake up.”“Is he okay?” you whispered.Tears burned into your eyes and as soon as you felt your whole body shake, Nayeon stood up to put a supportive arm around you.Everyone kept saying he looked tired, he looked tired, he looked tired, but you never did anything to help him despite seeing it for yourself. Why didn’t you help him that night at the club? It wouldn’t’ve hurt any more than you already were.Mark couldn’t quite figure out if he should shake his head or shrug, lost for any answers or explanations. “The doctors have said he appears physically fine but his current state is quite reminiscent of the one he emerged from earlier this year.”It was good that Nayeon knew to hold onto you hard, because your knees buckled when Mark finished speaking and Eunbi rushed over to help you sink into a chair. Burning started to spread over your wrist, your neck, your chest and it hurried to singe every bit of you, sinking reality straight into your brain - he could stay asleep for another three hundred years without you. And that was a lifetime you couldn’t bear to live without him.“We need to return immediately.” Both Eunbi and Dawon stood up at Mark's order, but he gave them a strange look and pointed at you instead. “Just her. This is not a call to court, this is… this is. This is just me asking you to come back.”
True love is able to overcome anything it encounters.
“She’s not a doctor,” Johnny laughed in disbelief, “what the fuck can she do?”There was no greater divide between the genders than there was in that moment: Johnny's confusion contrasted directly against the soft look the four of you girls shared, knowing exactly what Mark was about to say, “True love. I’m not sure it could be anything else but that. He’s lost everything that makes him him without you.”So had you.You’d never felt more lost within yourself than you’d been while he was gone.“My magical presence is not going to wake him up.” Your whispered denial was to calm your roaring heart more than anything. You could already feel it was desperate to get back to Arlington by any means possible.Mark’s cute smile flickered to life. “It did last time.”He was not wrong.Eunbi, true to form, was the first one to kick things into action. She could not waste another minute standing around while her friend suffered, so she started ordering and delegating, “We have to hurry, then. I’ll call my agency, they’ll have a car that can take all of us there in half an hour.”“Not me.” What the hell? Did Nayeon really think she could get out of this— “I’m going to the firm.”Your jaw dropped to the fucking floor. She did not just say she was going back to the office she hadn’t stepped in for months…She waved a worried Eunbi off then affectionately rolled her eyes at your hysteria. “You need answers and I can get them. Just go, you’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.”But what if you weren’t? What if he wasn’t.Nayeon sensed your panic attack before it started to claw at you, then took your face into her hands and squeezed so that you felt the gentle pressure of her support. The others were watching the two of you, but this quiet freakout was for only her to hear, “What if he doesn’t… I mean, what if he…”You couldn’t even make your lips form those words, they were too used to the feeling of his instead.Her BFFF love for you came shining through as she looked you in the eyes and promised, “He won’t. He waited three hundred years to wake up and see you, he’s just being dramatic now.”Despite all this fucking fucked-upness, your mouth fluttered into a sweet smile thinking of his fussy self purposefully hanging out in his coma until you somehow stumbled into the palace, then going, Ah, she’s here. Time to wake up.“Okay. Okay, we’ll go,” you said with new-formed strength. “Let me get my stuff.”You had to bring the journal with you no matter what, there was maybe something in there could fix this. There had to be. — The tips of the palace towers had been covered in clouds since the moment they came into view and the fog only seemed to get deeper the more you drove.“Someone say something!” Dawon’s random little shriek fucked with everyone’s blood pressure. “The closer we get, the more I feel like I have to vomit!"Yeah, you were at that point about fifteen minutes outside of VBeach.Mark turned to Johnny in the passenger seat and took one for the team, “Um….. You’re a DJ? What have you been working on?”“I have a new Lewis Hamilton-inspired mix I’ve been polishing. It’s going to go hard as fuck, like my tattoo.” He pulled his already-ripped tank top apart even further so not only was his tattoo visible, everyone could see when he flexed. That was enough to get Dawon all blushy again where she was crushed next to you in the back seat.Mark squinted at the design, then pointed to the bit right above Johnny’s nipple. “Doesn’t he look a bit cross-eyed there.”L O fucking L.“No!” Johnny fumbled hard while pulling his phone out of his pocket and thank god you'd moved on from having to be close to his naked titty. “Anyways, this is called… Eight. After his eighth title with Ferrari.”The techno mix blasted through the van and you all screamed in shock.Mark turned it down as fast as he could and etiquette officially flew out the window, “I think I would actually shit myself if I heard this at a club.”Johnny scoffed at him like he was a puny loser, “What do you know about clubs?” “I was the president of my frat at UVA, fuck you.”“Fuck you.”"Dude, fuck you! I said it first!"The three of you girls were caught up in this soap-opera adjacent back and forth between the two of them and you were totally convinced that this was going to end up with an in-car fistfight… until the bros laughed out of nowhere and bumped fists.WTF?The way men became friends in a millisecond - after it took you weeks and weeks of plot twists to get to that point with Eunbi, Dawon, and Solbin - just had to be studied.Johnny went as far as to start inviting Mark to plans he had no business attending, “Hey, you wanna come on our trip? We’re going on vacation.”Eunbi kicked his chair and hissed, “Is half the country going to be invited?”“There are hot chicks at every single one of my shows,” Johnny added on to sweeten the deal for Mark, then quickly caught himself when he heard Dawon’s little sigh. “Of course, not as hot as these ladies.”Mark was professional enough to not let a flicker of excitement show on his face before he denied, “No, thank you. I must follow my family’s tradition and marry someone—”“Your boss didn’t follow that fucking rule.” Johnny said it without thinking, a joke that was pretty funny but a step too far for where you were at emotionally. His eyes flicked into the rearview mirror to meet yours in a silent apology, more he had ever done before, so you gave him a pass on his bumbling backtrack, “Never mind. I doubt Blue’s ever gonna change herself anyways.”“I might,” you said softly. “If he needs me to.”Who knows, the curse might have stipulations saying you weren’t allowed to dress slutty or use the word fuck ever again. You would happily go along with it if that meant…“She is a fucking goner, oh my god. Look at her,” Johnny roasted you and the two guys laughed together at it, but it honestly was hard to feel embarrassed at all. There was nothing embarrassing about being in love with a person who made you better in every possible way.Plus Eunbi was not shy about hiding her supportive energy now, “I will put together a wardrobe in your style with whatever I find in Paris," not to mention Dawon jumping at the chance to talk fashion after a long week of degeneracy, “I have an insane shoe collection that needs pruning too. Ah! It feels like I’m in a movie! I knew you were Cinderella!”This had evolved into Sleeping Beauty more than Cinderella at this point, she really needed to brush up on her fairytales. Lol.But it was hard for you to play along with listing out the designers they thought you’d look the freshest in, not when you didn’t even know if… you didn’t want to finish that sentence. They were acting like everything was going to be okay and there was a big chance it wouldn’t be.And just like that, the BFFF Telepathic Connection activated despite the miles between you.

[7:56 pm] nananana BATMAN: itll be ok
[7:56 pm] nananana BATMAN: u + him, its meant to be

After pulling out the journal to calm yourself down, it fell open on your lap to a random page and you decided to just read it, taking this as a sign from the universe that cursed you.

It’s so funny that I’m writing this book while my one and only daughter has loudly started to proclaim that the princes in her once-favorite Disney movies are ‘fucking lame.’ I have no idea where she heard that word. I wonder if this is just a phase or what. I mean hating princes, the cursing… is never going away. Haha.

God, your dad always had you.“We’re coming up to the palace now.”All breath was completely sucked out of your lungs when you glanced out the window.Then Johnny voiced your internal thoughts in a far less eloquent way, “That looks fucking sinister, yo. Let me take a pic for a mixtape cover.”“Shut up. Do it later,” Dawon hissed.You’d never seen him follow an order like that without arguing, but you couldn’t think about Johnny or anyone else in this car.The fog had swirled to cover the palace in a shroud of hazy mourning, forcing the surroundings into such ominous darkness despite the early evening. The trees were weathered and withered and old and you could feel this sudden chill start to seep in through the glass. You were about to enter a chamber of permanent solitude and you just knew it was going to be even worse inside…“One thing before we go,” Mark was careful with his words as he parked the car. “He’s… fallen asleep in your chambers and the court has gathered there.”He what?That idiot couldn’t ever give you peace.Walking into the palace sandwiched between Eunbi and Dawon - who both wanted a hand to hold - you found yourself unable to shrug them off to go at this alone. All bets were off after you stepped into the main foyer. The four of you let out a collective gasp that harmonized with Mark’s sad sigh when the bleak coldness and unfriendly energy hit you in a wave, like death was lurking around every corner.“I should’ve packed my crystals,” Dawon little whine was covered in a huge shudder at the chill.Yeah, you were going to be a crystal girly for life after this.Mark held out a hand for you to keep walking no matter how hard it got. “We must hurry, I’m not sure what the lasting effects will be on him if this continues.”You were pretty much inconsolable then. You should’ve just told him, none of this would’ve happened if you did.“One second,” you whispered.“Did you not hear me?”“I said one fucking second!” you snapped at Mark, stopping at the turnoff to the grand hallway. “He can wait a fucking second, I know him better than anyone.”Conscious or not, Jaehyun didn’t deserve this reunion while you were crushed under the weight of this endless worry. When you saw him, you wanted to have a free heart like you were supposed to so he couldn’t feel anything but the deep love you held for him. Then he’d feel obliged to wake up, right?!?! Lol.Before they could stop you, you snuck away from the group with one destination in mind.Your legs took you faithfully to the spot in the Hall of Portraits: eye to eye with the split half of your soul, the Lady of Violets. Whose dress, truthfully, was more… blue than purple. And you could see for the first time that she wasn’t sad, she was regretful. She regretted her choice, she regretted everything.You felt the confounding remnants of those emotions lodge deep into your soul and you understood what this was.“You are here.”Solar was waiting for you, but she wasn’t the usual Solar you were used to.A whole palette of emotions spilled to stain your soul when you noticed that she wasn’t in the palace uniform. She was dressed in the deep maroon version of the gown that the Lady of the Violets was wearing, as if they were… sisters.
Your gaze immediately settled on the painting that steadfastly stood beside this portrait from the moment it was hung up - the last preserved memory of your doppelgänger looking happy as she held hands and giggled with a woman in a maroon gown. You blinked hard through this sudden sheen of tears and Solar’s face was staring at you from the canvas just like it was by your side, three hundred years not doing a single thing to her beautiful features.
“I’m late, I know.” You seemed to have an endless amount of tears now, they fell onto your cheeks as you whispered, “I’m sorry.”The portrait was a portrait, you understood it had to be of one person. But the Lady's solitude in it bothered you to a personal degree.Solar's features softened with such gentle surprise. “You understand now.”“Y-yes. Yes, my dad told me everything.” You showed her the journal clutched in your hands even if she would have no idea what it was.But her eyes were stony-still as she took in the gleam of the portrait that never should’ve been in here. “I was overzealous and filled with rage, now I have paid the price. My sister has paid the price. You have paid the price.”You thought of how sad the Lady looked every time you’d stop and have a moment in here and you realized it was because she ended up trapped in a life that she never wanted to live. Then it was immortalized forever for all the following generations to see. You didn’t want that."Is she... me?" This was the one thing you couldn't ever figure out, just how closely these threads of time tied together."You hold her soul within yours," she answered quietly, hands fidgeting to reach out and feel that connection for herself. "A discomfort for both of you, I must presume?"If you were still the asshole you were a few months ago, you would've been so pissed off you'd been unwillingly chosen to chill with the soul of this dead, emotionally tortured old chick. But now it kinda just felt like two brokenhearted girls in one trying to survive their way through life together.These strange feelings kept spilling out of you, “You both have been waiting for three hundred years, I’m really so sorry I made you wait.”Her inability to step past the palace walls, the desperation for you to find your true love in the prince, orchestrating it so that you were together even if you didn’t want to be. Solar was someone who regretted everything too and wanted nothing more than to be at peace with her sister.Solar shook her head kindly, unwilling to accept the apology. “It had to be as such for my curse to end. He was waiting for you.”“But why is he still…?” You had to know if you had a chance… or if you were walking in there to say goodbye.“It will not end until he is one with his true love. Attempting to avoid your destiny has caused the curse to rage with unspeakable consequences.” She held out a hand for you when, just like Nayeon, she sensed a crashing tide of anxiety about to demolish you. You let her hold your hands and soothe you gently, “But do not be alarmed. You are here now.”And you also realized then that she'd always try to hold your hands because she did so with her sister.“What do I do?” you asked.“You know.”The shine of shy blush across your cheeks fought against the empty palace atmosphere. Every movie had the same end, the prince and princess confessed their love and then they… kissed.“Do you have a dress for me to wear?” Part of you wished you’d thought to bring the dress from home, but that wasn’t exactly your first instinct in an emergency.You could feel the gentle warmth under Solar’s hands for the first time as she told you, “He has to feel that it is you.”You glanced down at the jean skirt and tiny tube top you threw on because you were in a hurry leaving VBeach and it felt so stupid. And perfect.Now there was one thing left to do.Shifting your palms so that you were the ones squeezing her hands this time, you chuckled softly at the ridiculous thing you were about to say, “Just for the record, I cursed Nayeon’s ex-boyfriend every fucking day until she finally broke up with him. So… you weren’t wrong.”Solar did what she could to try and protect her younger sister, regardless of what happened after. As someone who had her own version of that - a BFFF who shat on Johnny and held you as you cried over your real true love - you couldn't find fault in her honest intentions.She smiled for the first time, a gorgeous, shiny little curve that recalled the happy picture of her sister Professor Song showed you at the office, and you felt peace billow into your chest.“Who were you talking to in there?” Mark asked when you emerged from the Hall of Portraits a little bit later.This entire time Solar had been appearing to you and you only, acting as the fairy godmother you hadn’t asked for. So now it was up to you to give her the graceful ending she deserved.“Just a pep talk. I think I want to see him now,” you answered softly.As you got close to your old room, there was a bunch of loud sobbing audible through the closed doors and you really were not sure what you were going to find inside. Both of the girls squeezed your fingers again and with Johnny’s firm hand on your shoulder from the side, you felt as supported as you could be without Nayeon there. Your conversation with Solar had left you on a stronger emotional foundation than you had been since you'd left VBeach.“Everyone!” Mark cracked the door and announced loudly. “Please step aside for the Lady Chancellor.”A rush of musty air came rushing out when he opened it all the way, followed by Yuna’s obnoxious gasp, “What are you doing here? Mommy, what is she doing here?”The two of them stared at you, looking like buffoons in their matching black mourning gowns. You mentally begged Solar, wherever she was, to use her funky magical powers to keep your anger in check.Especially when Jessica raised a disgusted finger and dared to turn your private promise against you, “She should not be in here, you said you would never come back!”But you made so many more promises to him that you intended to keep.“Do you want him to stay like this? Then shut up!,” Mark leaned into the full weight of his authority at first and ended up almost yelling at her by the end of it.The whole crowd went silent at his command and ended up parting for you without further order. The other ladies had come back with their families, the palace workers were scattered around, a decent portion of the crowd were people you didn't even recoznige. Eunbi squeezed your hand extra tight when she saw her parents there among the court patrons and a sharp pain bubbled into your heart. You’d never felt so unsure and scared of being alone in your life.But once you saw Jaehyun elegantly draped across your old bed - a place you’d never truly shared together, what you thought would be the only good thing to come out of a marriage to him - he was all that was in your head.You sat down at the edge of the mattress and he literally just looked like he was taking a nap, even more angelic than he had been in your dream.“Hey, you,” you beckoned softly. “Hey.”You were stupid to think that would do it, but even holding his hand and clutching it hard didn’t wake him up.“It’s me.” You pressed Jaehyun’s still-warm fingers against your cheek and let the foolish hope brew. “Can you feel that I’m here?”“Mommy, she can’t do that, she can’t touch him. This is so unfair, this is cheating! I’m the princess—”“If you don’t shut the fuck up, we’re going to have a problem,” Johnny threatened your step-family and you could only imagine what their faces looked like after years of living in fear of the imagery of his criminal-adjacent self.The palace workers had tucked Jaeyhun into the pillows and straightened out the shirt and slacks he was in, but his pretty hair was such a mess. You fixed it for him while sighing out all the lovesick things you’d stupidly held in, “You look so handsome. I’ve never told you this, but I’ve always thought so. I saw your portrait and thought you were super fucking hot for an old guy. And it somehow… never did you justice.” Your fingertips floated over every bit of his face that you’d kissed, the dips of his concealed dimples, his captivating eyelashes, his soft sideburns. “Fire your old painter, will you? Michelangelo or whoever.”He was more than just a pretty face, your dad had laid the foundation for you to discover so much more hidden beauty on your own.“Let’s go to Walmart when you’re back in VBeach. Meet me there, I’ll be waiting for you. We don’t have any Ding Dongs left in the house.”It was even stupider to think you could entice Jaehyun into waking up with the promise of bad Walmart tees and sugary breakfasts, but you had to try everything.“Ding. Dong.” You pressed your finger into his squishy nose once, then again, and again. “Ding dong, ding dong, that’s the wake up for me sound.”None of it was working.You glanced back for help and got absolutely nothing at first - Eunbi was silently crying into her hands to not upset you while Dawon and Johnny were holding each other and bawling. But Mark watched with the steely strength of someone who had grown to care for both of you and tears burned your eyes when he nodded at you to keep going.You faced Jaehyun again, well aware that living life without him was more empty and horrible than almost anything you’d experienced.“Oh, Jae,” you murmured. “Come back to me, please. I miss you.”He still didn’t move, so you… knew what to do. You had to.You held his hand tightly between both of yours and pressed a soft kiss to his lips as your teardrops flew to dot his face. Then you tucked your mouth by his ear and whispered your secret vow, “That won’t be the last, I promise.”You sat back and waited for something, anything. You’d change your hair and your wardrobe, strip away your tattoos, rebuild yourself from the ground up, do whatever was necessary to get him back. Things had changed, you had changed, this had become an impossibly perfect version of a life you wanted to live. All he needed to do was—“Chancellor Mark, water. Now.”His eyes weren’t open, but you could recognize that fussy order anywhere.“Yes. Yes, your highness.” Mark choked back his emotions as he bowed and immediately went into the bathroom without calling further attention to the circumstances.The silence swelled to such a loud, overwhelming decibel as everyone waited for him to show signs of life.Mark came running back with a glass and poured some water as carefully as possible into Jaehyun’s mouth. You didn’t let go of his hand once or take your eyes away from his throat in order to catch when he swallowed.Jaehyun exhaled after that, then his gorgeous eyes peeled open.Eyebrows now crinkled at the sight of Mark’s distraught face, Jaehyun exhaled and his quiet, deep voice came creeping out, “I was just asleep, whatever is the matter.”Johnny’s shocked yet loud laugh ripped through the room.“Nothing,” Mark denied quietly, still holding it together. “Nothing, nothing. It was a hell of a nap, though it didn't quite beat your longest.”You let out the tiniest giggle and Jaehyun’s hand tightened around yours. His dark gaze brought yours into the incredible magnetic pull that you could never quite break away from and he gasped in surprise, “My sweet. Clear as day, I’m in a dream.”Your hands flew to hold his cheeks so he could feel for himself you were there in reality. When his eyes fluttered in relief, you let out a watery chuckle, “A good one?”“Surely not, the delightful dreams only encompass the life I might’ve lived with you as my wife.” His fingers dipped to feel for your bare left ring finger and you wanted to tell him to have patience, to wait for just a little while longer. You were down for it now, you just hadn't gotten the chance to tell him that.You leaned in for a kiss instead and Jaehyun stopped you, nervous trembling so obvious. “Are we allowed?”“Duh.”You didn’t care anymore, not when you were this happy.Your lips had barely touched before you heard a feral scream and found yourself being ripped out of Jaehyun’s arms and shoved away from the bed.Johnny caught you before you fell and he was the one who growled right at Yuna, “What the fuck, lady?!”She was going nuts, wildly trying to get at you even with her mom holding her back, “Don’t you dare kiss him again! I am the princess! Me! He picked me, not you!”Jaehyun’s immediate statement was quiet yet strong, “I did so under duress and against my will.” He sat up from the bed and Mark supported him the entire way, a mirror of you being held up by your friends on the other side of the room. “I never intended to select you in any capacity. I have known the intentions of my heart’s affection for some time now.”He wasn’t the one who looked at you to punctuate that statement.Every member of court crammed in the room did instead, like they finally understood what was going on.“What, are you saying you’re in love with my sister?” Yuna laughed in disbelief. “Answer me, Jaehyun.”Step. Stepsister, don’t ever get it fucking twisted again.Mark was furious on his friend’s behalf, “He is the prince, he does not have to answer to anyone, let alone you.”Jaehyun smiled at him with genuine gratitude - the sight of one shallow dimple brought you more relief than you'd thought - but warned Mark not to disgrace himself, “You need not defend me so strongly. I am not ashamed of the truth, nor of declaring it for all to hear.”The two of you stared at each other and you experienced the craziest spike of adrenaline ever.“I cannot deny that I love—”“Did I miss it?! Blue!”Nayeon came sprinting in with a stack of papers in one hand and used the other to throw her purse right at Eunbi, who was ready on instinct to catch it, much to her family’s dismay. But shouldn't they know that no one gave a fuck about their daughter right now? Lol. She wasn't exactly disgracing the family name here.“Na!” You almost burst into tears right then and there.Who you didn’t expect to see behind her was a huffing and puffing Professor Song, bright red face clashing against her nice purple suit. But she was there to support you through this, too, like she promised, “Thank god you’re alright, Blue.  But I’m never driving like that ever...”“Wait, you’re… aren’t you her father’s friend?” The moment that Jessica and Professor Song came face to face again had pure iciness settling back into the bedchamber, glazed over by the fake sweetness your stepmom was speaking in, “It’s so nice to see you again.”You'd gone through ups and downs, waxes and wanes, villainy and apathy in your years of hating Jessica for her role in everything. But the look Professor Song cut her then - which was so sharp it could’ve sent the other woman to the grave she deserved instead - was filled with more hatred than you’d ever felt.But there was no time to worry over the brewing war between the two of them, not when Nayeon was grabbing your arm to pull you into the bathroom for a private discussion. Johnny clued into what was going on and assumed former bouncer and convicted criminal duty, using his brute body strength to shuffle the two of you plus Professor Song into the bathroom. You caught the worried outline of Jaehyun’s gaze seeking you out as you went, but you shook your head to warn him not to follow. This was something you had to do alone.As soon as you were by yourselves, Professor Song fussed over your hair and your teary cheeks as Nayeon squeezed you in a hug and asked, “Are you good?”There was no time for this bullshit.“Just show me what you have," you said.Nayeon handed over the papers she brought, a stack of legal documents covered in a font too tiny and complicated for you to figure out. You scanned the top sheet as best as you could but your uneducated mind was so scrambled you couldn’t understand it… beyond one thing.“What is this,” you breathed. “What… is that Dada’s name?”The title of the document read FINAL WILL AND TESTAMENT, but you knew it wasn't his. You'd seen that document too many times to make that mistake.“Proceedings for will redistribution had finished by the time of your step-grandfather’s death,” Nayeon explained lowly, so no one could hear through the door. “Your dad received the majority of his inheritance money.”Right by the little blank for legal beneficiary was your dad’s name, and your name was printed right under that by a label that said next of kin.“It’s mine?” you whispered.Her nod was shadowed by blooming white stars in your vision, but you didn’t dare get your hopes up. Nothing about this felt hopeful.“The lawyer your step-grandfather used retired but is friends with one of my firm's partners. I got him on the phone.”Professor Song pulled up a video that she'd recorded of the two of them in the car on the way here. She drove while Nayeon was in full lawyer mode on your behalf, a phone at her ear, another in her hand, and a spread of papers across her lap she was combing through.Someone on the other side was already speaking when they turned the volume up on the recording, “The late president’s will? Yes, I remember that. It was an interesting case.”“Why was it interesting,” Professor Song was pushing him so that Nayeon could take all the notes down.“I’ve never seen a man so convinced he wanted to give nothing to his own blood relative. Mr. Jung was perfectly fine handing Mr. y/l/n his entire fortune simply because the man made him happy and married who he called, quote, his witch of a daughter.”You sat on the toilet lid.You didn’t give a shit (lol, maybe one day you’d laugh at that joke), your heart was racing too hard and you needed to avoid fainting.“Mr. Y/l/n unfortunately passed away soon after the late president d-did,” Nayeon clarified the circumstances, but had to clear her throat of emotion at the end of it when she got all choked up.He always did like that you managed to make a friend at school. You wished you would’ve had the bravery to hang out with her at home so they could’ve met.“Oh, goodness. I didn’t know, I was off the docket for the case as soon as the papers were signed.” The lawyer on the call sounded just as upset as anyone did when they found out your dad died— “His poor daughter must’ve been relieved when the money passed to her.”Your senses detonated into high alert and Nayeon moved the phone over so you could watch the video clearly, even if the direct conversation wasn’t in it.“It didn’t,” Professor Song answered on the recording when Nayeon became too angry to respond. “Or at least… she hasn’t seen it.”There was no misinterpreting the man’s surprise, “How come? The will was clear that everything would go to her. Maybe the family lawyers misunderstood and assumed it would also pass to the wife and other daughter after his death?”Cold dread slithered up the length of your spine and choked you out.The recording went dead and you heard Nayeon’s faint apology echoing from somewhere in the distance, “That’s all we were able to figure out. It was supposed to go to you, I don’t know what happened after that. I’m so sorry, Blue.”You were wrong before.An inhuman level of hatred exploded in your chest, propelling you straight out of the bathroom and right at Jessica, who was trying to push past where Eunbi and Dawon had blocked the door. You grabbed her by the hair, slammed her against the wall, and shouted right in her face, “Did you do something to my dad?!”“No!” she wailed, clawing at your hands to try and get you away.“I don’t believe you, I don’t. I don’t! How could I believe you when you’ve tortured me for this fucking long?” You felt truly, truly crazy, for real this time, and your nerves began to wear down into raw openness the more you went after her. “My dad died and you made me pay for all of his bills, for his burial!”There was some use to having these witnesses in the room - the appalled swell of gossiping and horrid reactions had you subconsciously aware that they were now going to be on your side no matter what you did. But what shocked you the most was spotting Jaehyun out of the corner of your eye and noticing how he only looked distressed, not surprised.Like he knew….. or something.“You made me stay in that fucking place where I found out, made me relive the memories every day!” How many times would you walk past the spot in the kitchen where you got the call about the accident and just go paralyzed with grief? Then had to endure her yelling at you if dinner wasn’t ready in time.Jessica was speechless and it was incriminating her to the highest degree. But it wasn’t enough, none of this was enough, and none of this would bring him back.You slammed her against the wall again and felt your hard-built self control come crumbling down, “You did something to my dad, I know you did! I know it, you broke my fucking heart so many times but it was already destroyed!” Just one slip of your hands and you could crush her into pieces, which was soooooo fucking tempting. “I wish you could feel what I’m feeling, that I could do to you what you’ve done to me. I want to destroy you—”“Stop, it wasn’t her!” Yuna screamed-sobbed. “Mommy!”“Enough,” Jaehyun’s voice tenderly slipped into your ear and your rage immediately subsided into a calm tide of sadness. He pulled you off of her and wrapped your hands around his waist so that you wouldn’t be compelled to violence again. “Enough, do not do this to yourself.”His hand snuck into your hair to hold you still and you melted into him, a shaky ball filled with the most vile emotions that no person should ever have to experience.“Are you hearing this shit? Blue, did you hear what this hoe said? It wasn’t her?”Johnny just fucking saved your ass, you couldn’t believe it.Because he pointed right at Yuna and the pieces fit into an arrangement you didn’t know existed.Out of the corner of your eye, you could see just how stunned Professor Song was all over her face as she hid in the corner and clutched her necklace. But she figured things out as quickly as she could and broke the silence with a blunt, “Did you kill him?”“Not on purpose!” Yuna cried.The room detonated into pure bombs of chaos, centered around Yuna and her guilty little face under her tiara. Dawon panting in fright, all the older court ladies crying together, Mark freaking out and cursing unintelligibly at the top of his lungs, all of it was too much for your poor brain to process. You stood still in Jaehyun’s arms and let the consuming surprise knock you the fuck out.“Yuna Jung!” You were so fucking floored at the combination of horror on Jessica’s face and disappointment in her voice.She didn’t know?Yuna tried to get close to her mom but the older woman backed away, leaving her alone to defend herself, “You said that we needed the money that Grandpa didn’t give us so I could enter my pageant! I thought I would help!"You were going to be sick.You were going to throw up all over these people and keep going until every evil wisp of energy in your body was expelled.“I had a plan!,” Jessica unleashed her frustration on her own daughter for once. “I couldn’t empty the trust without her consent so I made her pay it to us little by little thinking she owed money for the accident! She never checked that the insurance covered it all, why would you do this!”“Good heavens,” Jaehyun whispered, somehow able to understand that on his own. And if his hands hadn’t been imprinted into your waist, you would’ve fallen right onto the floor.What did she mean the insurance covered it all?That was imp… no, you couldn't say with certainty that was impossible, because you didn't know. You were just given the hospital bills, tortured yourself with the amount of money spent failing to save your dad, and figured that you had to owe this back. And no one ever told a naive fifteen-year-old otherwise.Plus your bank account was never your own - Jessica was listed as an owner since you were still a minor when you opened it together, she always had access to it so that she could pay herself when you put up a fight. And apparently, she took advantage of that to make damn well sure you couldn't discover that most of the money wasn't coming from your checking account... she was also pulling from a separate trust you never knew existed. Since you had zero idea you had become the sole beneficiary of a massive fortune...You glanced back at Professor Song to gauge if you were being overdramatic and her face had gone ghostly pale at the reveal.“Oh, that must be fraud. Or… or something,” Eunbi whispered to Nayeon, always on high alert for a way to help.This was too fucked up. This was too fucking fucked up and you didn't know what to do.“I wasn’t trying to!” Yuna was desperately hoping that anyone would buy into the false sweetness of her explanation, “I just put my happy pills in his smoothie! I was going to ask him when he was happy and feeling better to give the money back to us!”Professor Song’s tears had blanketed her cheeks, but her voice was the calm beacon through the storm, “That’s not how it works, that stuff reacts with the medicine the doctors gave him.”Her happy pills weren’t just sprinkles of magic dust you used to improve her mood. They were real pills, actual concentrated vitamins that she took to boost her energy and stamina for pageants. On their own, definitely harmless, but given an extreme amount to a man missing organs and already on so many meds to keep his body together?He was supposed to survive. That’s what the doctors said.“Mark, call the police,” Nayeon whispered. “Quickly.”Yuna managed to catch what she said and rushed to you, still in Jaehyun’s embrace, and started pleading with such franticness, “Sis, you know me. You know I wouldn’t do this.”You suddenly were able to explain why Yuna had been 'nice' all these years, in comparison to her mother who hadn’t given a fuck about you.She’d felt guilty.Jaehyun held you steadily to his chest so that you couldn’t make any sudden moves. But your grief slowly started to break through the steel of your outsides and seep into your words, “My dad…. My dad never did anything. He never did anything to you. He went to your fucking pageants.”It may have only been a wedding on paper. He may have had a woman he loved in secret, you may have been the one daughter to turn his world, but he was not a bad person. He sat in the theater seat he was assigned to and brought Yuna flowers every time.“Why are you fucking crying,” Professor Song snapped out of nowhere.Jessica tried to wipe her tear tracks away before you saw but was caught like a deer in headlights. Unable to come up with a lie, she ended up stuttering at you both, “I never wanted him to… to… I am so sorry. I didn’t know.”Why did you actually feel bad for her? Fucking lol.Your stepmother may have been a massive cunt but you were sure she never intended for him to die. She was just pleased that it was a happy little coincidence with perfect timing that she could mooch her missing money off of.When you reached out to pat Jessica's arm in bland, sarcastic support and she did the same, the two of you set off a series of events you could never undo.“Mommy! How could you!” Yuna looked and sounded so betrayed.Fucking lol, again.Jessica went absolutely apeshit on her own daughter, “I can’t believe you! I raised you better than this, what on earth were you thinking!”Everyone in the room (even the people with no context who were just watching for the tea!!!) laughed out loud when she said that. It was unhinged but kinda true at the heart of things - Jessica raised Yuna to be a conniving, bitchy, selfish little princess… not an accidental murderer who covered up her crimes.“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Yuna cried as she shook her head again and again. “I swear, I didn’t. I didn’t, I didn’t.”But the more people laughed, the more disturbed she became. Her panic had her frantically turning in one spot, gorgeous black skirt ripping apart in her hands as she searched around the room and found no spot to escape from.“Yuna, stop it! Now!” Jessica ordered.“Mommy! No!” Yuna lost it and the tiara went flying off her head as sprung into action.Jaehyun let go of you to block your body with his just in case you were her first target, but Yuna started running towards the door instead. Eunbi stood in the way to stop her, no fear or refinement left in her, only to get shoved into a vase by the mega-villain strength Yuna had gained now that her secret was out.Mark bellowed over the commotion, “Someone stop her!”But the palace guards hadn’t arrived yet, Nayeon was momentarily distracted with the heavy-bleeding cut on Eunbi’s forehead, and Johnny and Mark were a step too slow in their tag-team attempt to undercut your stepsister from escaping. You were paralyzed in Jaehyun's arms, brain and limbs not meeting in the middle to execute your harrowing need to chase her.Then, a great big rush of air blew through the room as Yuna slipped through the door.“Did you feel that?!” Professor Song yelped.“There’s a ghost, there’s definitely a fucking ghost,” Dawon freaked out as she hugged herself and hid.You were the only one who saw Solar rushing out into the hallway from where she’d been hiding in your dressing room as a silent, unseen bystander to her curse being lifted. You weren’t sure if it was because she was the colonial 100m dash champion, her freaky magical powers were guiding her along, or Yuna’s high heels were a handicap (see????? no wonder you’d always hated them!!!!!!!), but Solar caught up to your fleeing stepsister in no time.And because Solar’s presence was revealed only to the prince’s true love - and Yuna certainly wasn't fucking that - Yuna had no way of anticipating the moment your maid stuck her leg out into her escape path. Yuna tripped and fell hard, splaying against the ground with a loud thud and leaving one heel sprawled behind her like some grotesque Cinderella.You were left alone as Jaehyun raced to follow them with no warning, but it was because he was the only one who'd sensed that Yuna would begin crawling in a last-ditch effort to reach the doors. He tackled her into submission, using his authority as prince to get her to stop, “You must cease what you are doing, immediately! I order you to do so as your prince!”It was baffling how much sudden hidden strength he had after waking up from the curse.His muscles were visibly corded through his shirt as he fought to keep her still from struggling and you could see the vein in his neck pulsing as he honed his severe, repugnant gaze right into the back of her head. Palace security quickly arrived before you could take another breath and assumed responsibility from Jaehyun, but he didn’t let up on holding Yuna in his death grip until was in their custody with no chance of escaping.“Please, no! You can’t do this! I’m the princess, I’m the princess,” Yuna kept repeating her crazy defense as they began to drag her away. “I have royal protection, I’m immune—”“Remove them both from the palace with haste and permanence,” Jaehyun ordered, fully disgusted by everything that had just unfolded.Jessica had stood by your side, completely still and with your mouth open, for that entire time. She hadn't said a word, hadn't moved a muscle, and you wondered if this was like, the curse transferring over to her or something. Lol. When Yuna was just about to disappear from view, Jessica glanced between you and daughter, recognizing the weight of the decision-making power you held here. And not gonna lie at all, there was a huge part of you that wanted to make the worst night of her life even more hellish than it was.But you just let out a tired exhale and said, “Go.”She scurried after Yuna and the guards before you changed your mind.Right after, your adrenaline spiked into your skull and made you rush towards a still-fuming Jaehyun. Your mind whirred through every morsel of potential danger he’d just saved you from and you ended up hitting his shoulder and shouting, “You are a fucking lunatic! Are you okay?!”“I am tired,” he mumbled suddenly.His knees buckled and he started to faint with exhaustion—In a strange, full circle moment, Johnny caught Jaehyun just before he collapsed and his head rebounded against the floor. He rocked Jaehyun in his arms for a moment to calm his trembling down and was gentler than you’d ever seen him be, “Whoa there, dude. Whoa. It’s cool, I’ve got you.”You burst into a hurricane of relieved sobbing.You sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, feeling the hot tears splash even down to your ankles, and ended up pressing your face into your hands to relieve this horrible tension. You watched through your fingers as Mark and the remaining servants lifted your love upright, then when they looked to you for instruction, your voice cracked over every word, “Put him back in the bed, hurry.”They stripped off Jaehyun’s jacket and unbuttoned his shirt so that he could cool off and you built the pillows around his pretty head in hopes that they would keep him safe from anything. But you couldn’t do up the covers in the nice way he liked because your hands were shaking too hard. So, Professor Song gently took them from you and draped them over his chest, tucking him in as if he were her son-in-law and not just the prince.You continued to cry softly as you arranged Jaehyun’s hair back into his neat coif and stroked his cheeks in hopes that it’d prove again you’d actually broken the curse. His fingers snuck out to snag against yours and hold you still, being there together was this swelling moment that redefined every single thing you thought you knew about love.He coughed slightly, trying to muster the energy to say what he needed, and his deep voice poured out despite your protests to rest, “I cannot express how much grief I hold for you as a result of the loss of your father. I would have much enjoyed becoming acquainted with his presence.”“It’s okay,” you murmured as you pressed your linked hands against your heart. “He knew you.”It was like your dad had singlehandedly kept Jaehyun alive just to deliver him to you.Jaehyun let his fingertips dig into the speeding beat of your heart so he could feel it for himself and you did the same, lungs rattling with relief when you could pick up on the steady beats. And though he was exhausted, his whisper was as clear as it could be, “I wish I could have been a shelter of protection for you from all of life’s hardships. I have tried my undoubted best and hope with all of the might I possess, that I may continue to do so for an eternity.”And he closed his eyes to sleep… just to sleep. You knew him, you knew the difference. 
tbc.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

“Blue.”You glanced up from a bad dick joke you were sending Nayeon to see your dad standing over your shoulder and trying to figure out who you were texting. Didn’t he know that text conversations became private as soon as you turned eighteen? Where was he for the past decade-plus of your life? Lol.“Dada. What is it.” You put your phone face down and he grumbled when he couldn’t see anymore.“You’ve been holding out on me and I’m tired of it,” he scolded lightly.“Holding out on what, dude. Just ‘cause you’re my dad doesn’t mean that I have to tell you everything.”“Is that why I had to find out from Joyce that you were dating someone?”Ew. She snitched? What the hell.You flipped it around on him before he could cook your ass, “‘Cause she’s a loser who loves you. You’ve been holding out on me.”He fidgeted with his glasses on purpose so you wouldn’t see his blush, obvious he had feelings for his colleague that he was still trying his hardest to hide from you. Professor Song had gotten all sappy and emotional and cried these pretty tears when you found out they liked each other. He was such a loser, too. OMG.“There’s a new bit I’m trying to add onto my journal,” he evaded the subject like a fucking master and you had to hand it to him. “I think it’d really expand horizons if I ever published it. You know, make it accessible to a wider variety of people.”“What the hell does that mean?” Unless he was turning his research into a trashy reality TV dating show you were not going to be interested.Like your dad read your mind, he answered, “The prince’s romantic life will attract a lot of readers,” then fake groaned in pain with his hands over his heart. “That hurt me to say.”“I know, I know the history always comes first,” you grumbled. “Give me that.”You snatched the journal out of his hands and turned to the page he was working on, expecting all this stuff about the prince being a fuckboy. You knew he had to be one - no rich dude with power and influence wasn’t. But there was nothing on the page except for one line your dad had scrawled diagonally across it, I want Blue to live happily ever after.“Could you be any more of a soft asshole,” you laughed.He reached out a hand for yours and you could feel its warmth so clearly. “What can I say, I love my only daughter.”Why did you have tears in your eyes? You weren’t a crier.“Dada, I’m gonna say this with an honest heart. The young women of America you’re trying to reach will not like to hear that their heartthrob ancient prince was a historical fuckboy,” you told him solemnly.They’d find it hot, for, like, a chapter or two. But once they didn’t find any husband material in him, or at least character development in that direction, they’d get so fucking bored.“No, he had a wife he deeply loved.”What?He turned his note over to the other side and you saw the actual passage that you were supposed to read:

In this text account from the princess’s adopted sister, it says that despite his previous reputation, the prince did not ever look at another woman again after he was married. He adored his wife until the day he passed away.

“You have a picture?” You were so fucking curious, no way was his wife that hot.Your dad shook his head. “I have not seen one. Let us look together.”After you stuck your chin on his shoulder to watch him searching up the prince’s wife on Google, you started to experience these strange butterflies swarming your stomach. You had no idea what the hell this feeling was, but you were stupidly excited for some reason? There was a loud gasp and you were annoyed at him for two seconds before you realized it’d come right from your mouth instead, “Dada… that’s me.”How were you looking at a picture of yourself in a stunning golden gown and matching sapphire crown, hugging this tall, elegant man who had long, dark hair and was… staring at you instead of the camera. Shouldn’t it be a painting instead? This thing looked like it was shot on an iPhone. And why were you even asking that in the first place?!But when you turned to your dad to tell him this was all a big joke, he was moving his glasses so he could wipe a happy little tear away. His voice was so soft and good, you were never going to forget it, “I always knew it was just a phase. Why didn’t you tell me you and the prince were in love?”You startled awake just as he was about to hug you.There was no one in your bed with you when your eyes opened. The panic was overwhelming and had you shouting in a second, “Jae? Jaehyun?!”“Hey.”Wildly glancing around the inside of your room did not uncover the person you were seeking out. It was just Mark, in his pajamas and holding out a cup of coffee for you.Why was it just Mark!He sensed your chaotic worry and answered what you hadn’t asked, “His highness went for a walk in the sun to lift his spirits.”Fucking hell. You fell asleep for two seconds after sitting in this horribly uncomfortable chair all night to watch Jaehyun’s chest rise and fall as he slept. You were never getting over this.“Is he okay?”“Yes. Much better.”Something about Mark not being overjoyed that Jaehyun was out on a walk clued you into his tiptoeing around the subject. You didn’t need any of that shit anymore and called him out, “What’s the but hanging off there?”Mark shrugged sadly. “He doesn’t seem like himself yet.”“I mean, last night was fucked up," you murmured to your hands. "I’m not myself yet.”Nobody bothered you as you sat at the edge of the bed with Jaehyun’s soft hand in yours… but you could still sense the surrounding chaos of everyone in the palace dealing with the aftermath of what you’d blown up. It was hard to believe that you hadn't had a single passing thought about the lost inheritance or what your ‘family’ did. But you needed to make sure Jaehyun was okay before you were.Meeting your dad in the dream…. it was holding you together.“Might do him some good if you went to see him.” Mark's cheeky grin fought against your eye roll and he tried to play dumb at what he was implying, “I don’t know. Just a thought.”You rolled your eyes again to make sure you won, then requested, “Can you get Nayeon. Just Nayeon,” before your soft gratitude for him overflowed, “And thanks. I know you’re probably sick of making that drive to VBeach.”After a chest puff of pride - he was the one who orchestrated saving the prince, after all - Mark just waved a casual hand over his head as he left. “I’m flying next time, asshole!”The fact that there could be a next time had the stupidest bubbles of excitement popping in your chest.That dream felt so real. So, so real. Did your dad, wherever he was, really get to see a picture of you and Jaehyun together—“Did you meet him?”“What?!” You screamed in surprise at the sudden question, then pressed a hand into your racing heart as you saw Solar standing behind you and smiling in that soft, familiar way. The adrenaline continued to flow as you said, “You can’t do that! I’m still freaked out here!”It was impossible not to assume that Yuna could pop out of her jail cell (you definitely weren’t giving them bail money) and terrorize you at any moment!Solar reached out a hand and allowed you to take it instead of grabbing you willy nilly, then a subtle bit of sadness crept into her. “The curse stretched further than I ever thought it could.”It took you a second.“Are you saying… the reason why I could never dream about my dad?” Over the years, he had come to you in memories and fleeting passes of the day, like the sun’s rays in VBeach were powered by his presence. But never in a dream as vivid as that one. You were never able to talk with him again or to feel his comfort like you did last night.Solar nodded. “I have hoped for this the most.”You started tearing up again, the same kind of relieved teardrops that your dad had shed when you were together. This true love curse must have been real - how else was it possible you could now feel his love more than you’d ever been able to rip out of the pages of the journal?“How did he know?” There’s no way he could’ve anticipated you’d end up falling in love with the subject of his studies… right?“The hands of time connected through the generations with ease,” Solar sounded wise beyond her years, a result of three centuries of gathered knowledge while trapped here. “There are more parallels than you could ever expect.”As soon as she said that, Nayeon strolled in with a second coffee for you, her big smile slipping into this funny look at your emotional gaze towards… nobody. Solar did this all for her sister, just like Nayeon found the strength to face her greatest fears for you.“I need to do something crazy,” you blurted.She tossed you a bougiefied Ding Dong before she put her bag on the ground and flopped onto the bed. Your limbs tangled in a lazy half-hug before she blared in your ear, “Did last night not fill your fucking quota? I spent this whole morning on the phone with her lawyers, I had to take an edible to calm down.”Nayeon had gone from almost unemployed to the sudden head of the palace’s legal counsel. She'd spent all night holed away in an office pulling records from the hospital, expertly rifling through pages and pages of your bank statements, and shouting at the Arlington police to keep Yuna locked up no matter what she said. It was some career turnaround, that was for sure. “I’m glad you’re working again.” You weren’t going to take credit for it, no, not at all, nooooooooooooooooo…. No way.“Some loser said I should.” Nayeon tried to make an unhappy face and failed hard when she giggled instead. You understood it well, she was too satisfied with her new relationship and her return to her beloved career to resort to pettiness.You would’ve said those curses forever if it meant she’d end up happy like this.After she reached to hold your hand, you were suddenly electrified with the missing piece to your own happiness. You babbled again, “I didn’t say something I needed to.”She looked over and the eternal BFFF connection meant she knew without elaborating. “Are you going to go out there dressed like a scumbag, or?”Ugh, this was the weirdest walk of shame you’d ever stayed in an outfit for. No, you didn’t envision this tube top-skirt combo being the outfit you wore when you said that—What the hell? Was she pulling your dress out of her bag?Your eyes hovered over the sky blue silk and you couldn’t believe it. “What is this?!”“You were going to confess your dramatic love one way or another," Nayeon said with sly smile. "Forgive me for being a good enough friend to figure you might want to look fucking nice.”The hands of time connect through the generations with ease, indeed.And like you did all those weeks ago - not knowing what awaited - you enjoyed the quiet moments of getting ready for something special with a person who cared for you. You slipped on the dress for the very first time and your mind was fucking blown at how it fit even fifteen years later. The floaty fabric made you look so much younger… and happier…  the perfect cross between royal elegance and the kind of compromise outfit you’d pick as a teen.There was no need for makeup because you liked the way he looked at you when you weren’t wearing it (ew!!!!!!!!!!!) Nayeon artfully draped your hair down past the ruffled neckline of the dress and it sorta caught the breeze to flow around you. Like you were cringe enough to channel not just princesses, but also mermaids.Things had really changed. Lol.“Oh! I randomly found these in my closet at home, I must’ve bought them in a midnight shopping bender.”She dove for her bag one last time and pulled out this insane pair of nude heels, decorated in a subtle flower pattern made up of the shiniest diamonds. And you supposed that if you were really committing to this, you had to wear the modern-day version of glass slippers, too.Nayeon hadn’t even made it a step away from her finished product before she was all stupid and weepy, “Who the hell are you? Am I supposed to bow?”Watching her cry would always make you cry and today was no exception. You ended up sniffling like an idiot when you couldn't control yourself, “I d-don’t know.”“One last time, on the record... wanting to marry a prince is so fucking cliché,” she scoffed.That was all Nayeon had to say for you to know she was satisfied you found your person. Just like you were in return.And she sent you off to do what you needed to do.It was the most gorgeous summer day - the ghoulish vibe had left the palace, the birds chirped to match how brightly the sun was shining, you could smell the sweetness pouring off every rose bush you passed. The sky had even made sure there wasn’t a cloud in sight, so there was no difference between it and the fabric draped around you.But as the morning improved, your mood soured, like you were upset for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint... and not just because of your pinched heels getting stuck in the dirt.Your mood tanked to the point that you were actually angry when you made it deep into the grounds and found Jaehyun. He was standing with his eyes closed and his face lifted towards the sunshine in the middle of a golden patch of grass. And you realized the mood was a result of your body telling you it was his fault you had to go through all this emotional suffering.“You had to go out this fucking far?!” you called out. “Is the sun just not vibey enough by the palace?!”It pissed you off even more that he was wearing gym shorts and his VBeach tee while you looked like a dressed-up clown in your attempt to be romantic.Jaehyun glanced at you but didn’t smile - like he was feeling the same conflicted things and Mark was right about his off energy. “It is not.”“So, what? If we date, you’re just going to keep pulling this bullshit all the time?” He was going to drive you absolutely nuts if this was the case.“To what are you referencing.”“To every single goddamn thing that’s happened since you left VBeach the first time!”Jaehyun fell silent and you had no idea why he was surprised by what you said. After the most moving week of your life spent in secret together, he veered off on this shadowed path that you had no map to discover. Yet he was still somehow expecting to look back and see you following steadfastly behind him. He was the lunatic here, you did nothing wrong.“I mean, are you ever going to tell me why you did any of it?" You were trying so hard not to shout, you needed an award or whatever. "Or are we just pretending that we’re good since I saved you from this weird curse—”“I heard you!” Jaehyun screamed at the top of his lungs, his first true blowup of anger slamming into your chest in a physical blow. “Through the door! Crying to Mr. Strong John that it was essential for your survival that I marry the lady who I will not name! Which is what I then did!”He heard what you said?Then without asking or saying a word took it upon himself to make that sacrifice for you? He… he was going to live his life under the same curse of true love just so you could be free?That was the stupidest thing you’d ever heard.“Why!” His eyes widened, unable to handle that you were arguing against him, and he kept screaming, “I wished for you to unburden yourself from the grief of your father’s passing! To have the freedom to do whatever modern American women do!”“But I didn’t want that!” you screamed back.You wanted to be the idiot girl that married him and never had a thought in her head again. You’d done your time surviving alone, you wanted to do life with someone by your side.You took the chance to give him orders - not as his employee, but as the person he loved, “Don’t you fucking dare do that again. I don’t need you to protect me, I do not need that!”“I cannot help it, it is ingrained within me.” His hand came to flutter by his chest before he held his own heartbeat, his eyes closing as he felt how honest his affection for you was. "I would repeat the expanse of choices I made however many times necessary, so long as you were provided for in the end."“The chivalry thing is so not cute anymore,” you scoffed. “Modern girls don’t like it!”“It is not common chivalry, it is the need to protect my wife!” Jaehyun’s words exploded into the summer air and he truly looked crazed with the need for you to understand. “From anything! From everything! You must allow me to continue.”He called you his… he did all that because he saw you as his… no, he couldn’t just be doing this crazy stuff in the name of love and think that you of all people would be cool with it.“Not without my input! I hate being told what to do, I fucking hate that shit.” You were doing your best to keep it refined but he really needed to know he was pissing you off.Jaehyun bowed his head and said coolly, “I am in accordance.”“Fucking okay!” Was that so hard?! “Do you have anything else you need to do?”“I cannot ever be without you.” He shook his head with stark, sober denial as he spoke with relentless, unending, eternal determination burned into his voice, “I do not acquiesce to an alternative, I am unable to accept the whims of the universe if it bends us in opposite directions. I will compel my path to re-join with yours no matter where you are.”Jaehyun was saying all the right things, all the things you wanted to hear, but he sounded like a complete idiot at the same time.“I’m going to go wherever I want,” you told him outright. “I’m going to do whatever I want.”He could say those dramatic words, claim that he wanted to be by your side forever, but that was not a guarantee you were going to be doing things he approved of. He had to be cool with you going to a strip club in Miami if Johnny’s booming career somehow took your friend group there.“I! Am! In! Accordance! As long as I am by your side!” Jaehyun was so frustrated that his face was as red as the blossoms on the rosebushes as he tore apart your argument, “And quite frankly, I take exception to your insinuation that I am demanding, because this exchange is steeped in your obstreperous control!”What?!?!?!?!?!?!“I don’t know what that means, I didn’t finish high school!” This was his last chance to get out of it - you were showing him every bad side of you possible so he’d be fully aware what he was getting into.“Have you assumed that is a matter of import to me?! What do you demand from me!”What did you want?There were so many fucking things, but only one stuck in your brain like mixed-in cement.“Don’t ever fall asleep on me again! I can’t take it!” Fury ran your vocal cords raw and that white-hot feeling transformed into the somber silver of worrying that you’d never get to hear his voice again. “When I heard that you… when I… I can’t ever do that again, don’t do that again.”The idea of living through the rest of your life knowing he could wake up centuries from now and experience the same cycle of grief from losing you? Or that he may never wake up again? That was the worst kind of future for you to be cursed with.His steely strength was undercut by a sudden, shaken sigh, “I am in accordance.”“Just say okay like a normal person,” you grumbled, petty as fuck but not caring.“Okay,” Jaehyun murmured obediently. “Now, may we please go inside.”“I can’t.”These threads of tension were snipped away when his pretty smile brightened out of nowhere. You knew without a doubt his response had been cooking in his brain for a while, “You cannot or you do not want to.”You just knew this moron was going to find a way to incorporate that into your wedding vows.“I actually can’t, my shoes kept getting stuck in the grass on the way here.” You shuffled around to show him the gigantic heels that were trapping you in this patch of dirt, there was no way you’d make it back to the palace in them. “They’re so goddamn uncomfortable.”But that was the kind of thing you were willing to do for him, so, you couldn’t exactly be too pissed about it.“However did I manage to fall in love with the most disagreeable woman I’ve met in all the centuries I have lived through?” Jaehyun sighed in mock frustration, despite his eyes glittering with the depth of his love for you. “Come, I will drive you back to the palace.”You let out a bursting cackle, “You have no idea how to drive.”You suppose that was who Jaehyun was to his core, ready to do whatever you needed even if he lacked the knowledge to do so.He had momentarily forgotten he didn’t and his mouth stuck in a pout as he tried to figure out how to save this moment. “Right. I must find an individual to point us in the direction of a horse—”“I fucking love you too,” you confessed through a sudden gasp. “Sorry.”The profane little ditty billowed into the air and mixed with the lovely breeze... and not even covering your mouth with your hands could undo that masterclass of a fuck-up. Jaehyun had crafted his profession of love to you in the most beautiful language possible and nowhere in your heart did you intend to for that arrangement of words to be how you told him you loved him for the first time.“Do not take it back, you should not. Please, do not,” Jaehyun pleaded softly once he sensed your mixture of bittersweet emotions.He thought you regretted it? Shouldn’t he know better by now?“No, I… I meant I shouldn’t’ve said fucking, sorry.” You felt beyond dumb and beyond smitten trying to explain yourself, “It just comes out sometimes, you know this. And I guess I should start learning how to… control it.”Jaehyun still didn’t understand what you were saying, which meant you were going to have to repeat yourself in the most explicit, embarrassing way possible.“I don’t think the palace officials will appreciate the future princess swearing like a hooligan.... If us agreeing to all this is implying what I think it’s implying.”The terms you were laying out were not the simple ones that came with the question of will you be my girlfriend? This was far more serious.His smile flickered for a second when he realized, then he used every ounce of strength to control himself into the princely expression he wore in every surviving portrait of his.He reached into the pocket of his cargo shorts and at first you legit thought he was grabbing sunglasses to shield his emotional ass eyes. But once the sunlight hit what he was holding and it glittered to the point that you felt like you needed sunglasses, you knew he was holding the royal engagement ring. He never gave it to her, he'd found a throwaway ring to use that didn’t mean anything.Jaehyun showed it to you to confirm what it was, then held it above his head out of your reach and taunted you with the outlines of flirting, “Only if you repeat yourself to me properly.”He was such a fucking asshole...“I love you.” It came out more cracked and weathered than you anticipated, and you found yourself clutching at your chest, to feel your heartbeat and lungs working at this beautiful, weary pace for him. “So much.”And in an instant, the bad mood hovering over the day disappeared.But you couldn’t stop there.“So much it terrifies me to think of what my future would look like without you in it, knowing what kind of suffering I’ve been through in the short time we were apart. I would rather sleep for a million years by your side than to live a life on my own without you and I hope I never have to experience that shit—that awfulness again. I want you to live here with me until we're old AF and I want you to understand every lovely thing this world has to offer because of me. I really, truly love you. I love you. I love you so much.”You couldn’t be written into the history books as his friend. You wanted to be known as his wife, as the person who loved him until the day where all that was left of him were stories.Jaehyun let out a ridiculous bit of laughter and sighed fondly at you, “Was that so difficult, my sweet?”“Yes,” you whispered.It wasn’t even close to matching all the exquisite things he’d ever said to you. You were going to have to hardcore expand your vocabulary to ensure Jaehyun knew you felt those things about him in return.“I am aware. It takes extensive and concerted effort to select words profound enough to display the inner workings of one’s heart.”Oh, now he was just showing off. His dimples peeking out below the… nose wrinkles…  you loved so much were giving that away.“Then why are you so good at it.”“I have had several centuries of extra practice,” Jaehyun answered with full arrogant confidence, before he was unable to keep the smitten feelings at bay, “Just a way to pass the time while waiting for you.”You raced to hug Jaehyun in the center of the sunniest patch of grass on the palace grounds. He held you to his chest with such steady, relieved desperation, but it wasn’t enough just to hug him. Your hands slipped everywhere they could reach, his strong shoulders, the curve of his back, the soft curls in his hair. You had to feel for yourself that he was alive and there with you without needing curses and dreams. That every beat of his heart in his chest was a selfish one just for you. He tucked his fingers into the straps of your dress to get as close to you as possible and the smell of his tee - a blend of the faint sprigs of Old Spice and the freshest summer blooms - made you think he’d blend in perfectly with the salty VBeach breeze.Jaehyun backed away to give you a gentle kiss on the cheek, then tucked the ring in his pocket again and bent over to undo the ties on his sneakers.Uh?“What are you doing?!” You were confused - with a sprinkle of thrill-induced fear - so you lowered your voice in case the bumblebees could overhear, “We can’t have sex out here!”You understood that things were more ~rustic~ when he was in his fuckboy prime but you were not having your intimate reunion out here against a tree!“Pardon me?” Jaehyun gasped, appalled that you would imply something like that. “I am removing my shoes so that you may have appropriate footwear to walk on. It would be beyond chivalrous of me to assume I could carry you.”He winked and you’d never been so sure you were you wanted to give your heart to a person for safekeeping.His curse-shaky legs wobbled for a second as he struggled through an attempt at doing his laces on his own, and you huffed at him with so much love, “At least hold my hand so you don’t fall over.”He stuck out his arm as soon as you asked him to, knowing he couldn’t ever go against you now. And when your hands linked, his face lit up into a perfect image that you wanted framed and he exclaimed, “You do have the bracelet—” But Jaehyun actually fell over when his thumb brushed the diamonds away and revealed what was underneath. “Whatever is that.”His fingertips traced the outline of a half-dozen little mismatched lines you’d gotten tattooed, across the place where you felt your pulse the hardest in your wrist.You sunk to the ground beside him and murmured, “The wrinkles you get by your nose when you laugh.”Your thumb pressed into the line of them when his true smile coaxed the wrinkles into appearing at your request. You’d never have to rely on the tattoo to remember this again, you’d have the real thing forever.Amongst the prettiest springs of grass and flowered weeds, Jaehyun kissed you, the guaranteed end of this curse. It was the start of a new one, a sweeter one, one where you were cursed into spending a loving eternity together with no other choice. If words continue to fail you as the years passed then you were sure the press of your mouth against his would guarantee he felt the direct love straight into his heart.When he cradled you in his arms to make sure your skirt didn’t get stained, you crushed your mouth against his in an all-timer passionate kiss, then teased him, “Oh, alright. You can fucking carry me."Jaehyun was smart enough to lift you in a piggyback ride instead of the bridal hold you knew his princely mind was obliged to.The two of you ran like screaming, obnoxious, over-the-moon, lovesick idiots back to the palace. His head was just about crushed under the weight of your body and you felt like you were going to fall off every time he took a sharp turn, but your arms wrapped around his neck and his hands gripped onto your thighs felt like the perfect little metaphor of I’ll never let you go. A small lick of sunburn started to stain his ears the longer you were out there, so you lifted the spare ruffles hanging off your dress and made sure he was covered, which only made him laugh more with the ticklish feeling.It was truly the happiest you’d ever been.Mark heard the symphony of your giggling once you were inside and his entire face lit up to see that he’d managed to expel that final bit of bad energy. “Your highness… and your highness. It is good to see the both of you in better spirits! May I interest you in some tea—”“Not at the moment, Chancellor Mark,” Jaehyun hollered as the two of you blew by him without stopping. “We have just entered into a relationship, please leave us be for the day.”You were going to have to train that honesty out of him.“Oh, shit,” Mark cursed, very loud and very by accident.You turned around on Jaehyun’s back to see Mark’s red face as he processed what was about to go down. Then you sheepishly called back, “Sorry!,” as he hid his face in his hands to not witness anything more.Lol, well.The whole palace would probably be gossiping about what you were doing soon enough.As you ducked into the prince's bedchambers together, you felt all this ridiculous happiness bubble up at the thought that you would be the last girl he’d ever bring in here until… you maybe had a baby to share together. Which was so fucking insane for you to be excited about, but what the hell. You being cool with having kids wouldn’t even be close to the weirdest thing to happen in your relationship. A second flew past where you stood with your fingers on Jaehyun's arms and his hands on your waist and just stared at each other, smitten beyond belief and unable to make any words to express that.Then you moved in the same moment - as equals in the relationship for the very first time - to kiss each other. What the hell else were you going to do? Lol.Your back pressed against his bedpost as his hands trailed up your sides and past your shoulders, to hold your throat as his mouth met yours over and over again. Like he promised during that text exchange you were never going to forget, he was determined to kiss you as much as you both wanted. His lips slid everywhere on yours, to taste your happiness, your symmetrical relief, the lingering words of love they spoke on their own.You were the one who got impatient first, you broke your lips away to nudge them against his dimple and wonder, “Did we come here just to kiss?”Kissing was fine, but like…………. come on.He understood what you meant, but denied you in a hoarse voice, “I shall have my fill of you first.”He swept you off your feet (it was impossible for him not to make it so goddamn dramatic) and laid you in the center of his pillows like you were born to be there. Then he delicately draped himself across you so that he could kiss your mouth once for himself and begin dotting tiny blooms of obedient additional kisses against your jaw. His hands pressed into the silk that was bunched around your waist and trailed up to fit around the curve of it as you gave into the pressure of his mouth. But he moved with such newfound tenderness - like your evolved relationship was enough to make everything about this so beautiful… despite the charged tension that snapped through you every time he managed to graze your bare skin.When his mouth and his hands got tangled up in your hair in his quest to mark your neck from top to bottom, you tickled behind his ear and warned him in a sultry tone, “Don’t be greedy.”Even though you wanted him to be the greediest he could be... since that meant you'd be rewarded.He took it as a challenge, sweeping your hair away with one hand so he could lavish your neckline with a set of pretty kisses worth more than any jewelry. His nose pressed right into your heartbeat firing in your chest as he spoke quietly, “There are many weeks to make amends for,” then dipped under the soft fabric to give your sternum a kiss and finish, “and I suspect I will not be anywhere near satisfied until I have bestowed on you what we should have shared during that time.”It wasn’t hard to lose yourself in the overwhelmed everything that him touching you again brought about. But it was beyond frustrating to experience the tiny apex of your feelings spiking and falling every time his touch disappeared… only for him to smother your mouth in kisses again.You were getting impatient. LOl.The next time he pulled his mouth away from your clavicle for a kiss, you covered your mouth. And despite his whiny little gasp when you stopped him, you held on strong to your little bit of selfishness, “We can kiss again tomorrow. And the day after that.”Now you could kiss every day you wanted for as long as you wanted whenever you wanted. The idea of that fucking—freaking ruled.His forehead wrinkled as he contemplated his new reality and he honestly couldn’t believe it for a moment, “Yes. I suppose we can.”“We can,” you whispered and pressed your nose into his, feeling legit girly excitement that you couldn’t control. “We can, we can.”You supposed all that PDA shit wasn’t quite as cringe when you were sharing it with a person you loved as much as you loved him. That was just a part of the everything you were now able to experience together.What you weren’t expecting was for Jaehyun to suddenly get emotional. You had never seen him cry before and certainly not the way he was now - he wasn't even trying to hold it together like he usually would. It wasn’t a breakdown, you wouldn’t say he sobbed or even cried hard, but every time he blinked a separate pair of tears would slip down his cheeks and just glitter with relief.“Don’t be sad. I know you’ve waited a long time for this.” You got that he was asleep for all of it, but spending three hundred years completely on his own must’ve still been terrifying for his subconscious. And waking up to more of the same? You’re not sure how he even got through that.“For you,” Jaehyun corrected breathlessly as his stare coated with such appreciative, awed gratitude. “I have my life again because of you. My wife. My sweet wife.”Really did feel like the beginning of something big, didn’t it?You kissed a lingering teardrop on his cheek, then pressed your thumb into the spot as you teased him, “We’re not even married yet, you loser.”“It is only a matter of time,” Jaehyun hummed.He was not wrong.You kissed him sweetly, a preview of what would come on that inevitable day in the future… then he deepened it, never satisfied with just a peck, still too much of a dude to get that caught up in the romance, lol.You were in the perfect spot, the comfortable mattress behind your head and his warm body on you, you could've gotten lost in each other forever and no one would’ve been able to pull you out of this bed. His hands slipped everywhere he could grab, wanting to feel all of you, and teased against the edges of your neckline to slip below where he wanted to kiss you the most. Your legs folded around his waist and the cool air rushed against your bare thighs as you held his broad shoulders close. You softly kissed his hair and his ears and tried to soak every action with as much love as possible.But the second he tried to sneak up for another kiss instead of finally pulling your dress off, you just bopped his shoulder with yours and wondered, “Should we?”You were just wasting time at this point. Lol.“Yes,” he exhaled right into your mouth, which burned your blood to a scorching degree. And goddamn finally, his fingers started trailing up your bunched skirt as he wondered, “Do you require assistance with your garments? A gentleman is always required to ask.”“Yeah,” you whispered.Sneaky as hell, he pushed the dress straps off before you could take your next breath and the flimsy fabric fell far enough down that your tits would’ve slipped out in the next breath you took. But when he tried to move it to leave your full torso bare, the unforgiving silk and tiny threads snapped a little. You pressed yourself close to get him to stop before it ripped any further and at first he just stared at you with these wide, concerned eyes.You clutched at Jaehyun with trembly fingers that echoed the flutter in your voice, “Just be careful, okay? It’s really special.”He soaked the look of you in - beyond the flushed cheeks and inspired messiness and how much you longed for him - then focused on the blue of it all. He understood without you having to say it.it was frightening and lovely to have another person know you like this.Jaehyun kissed your wrist, then the curve of your neck, then your lips, and murmured there, “I understand.”When he rolled you over to undo the zipper, he kept a gentle hand on your ribs to make sure there was not even a hint he may want you to stay face down for what came next. After taking the dress off, he laid it in a neat column to the side of the mattress and you couldn’t help the swell of emotion that built in your chest knowing just how deeply he cared for you. Once he was satisfied - all your jewels still on, your hair all pretty around your face, lacy underwear stretched against your curves - he stared at you, his princess in his bed.He bit his lip, then a cocky little laugh spilled from his pretty mouth, “I do believe myself to be the gentleman who has possessed the most fortuitous luck in any century this planet has existed.”You could never be told anything again, lmao.While kneeling above you, he took off his VBeach tee in one go, such an on-purpose display of manly power and carved abs. You swooned straight into the mattress. Holy shit.“You are so fucking hot,” you blurted. “Seriously, goddamn.”You weren’t sure if he heard any of the things you said while you were desperately trying to wake him up, so you had to make sure he knew he wasn’t the only lucky one in this relationship.At first, you fretted about whether or not you’d pushed it too hard with the profanity (esp when you’d made a big deal about wanting to control yourself!!!!!!!) But he blushed so hard his neck and his face stained the same shade of tomato red. Maybe you both appealed to each other with your opposite-style compliments. Then, everything became this lovesick little race to cross the finish line, finally on the same page about what you wanted to do. You stripped your jewelry off and he helped you with the bracelet clasp, he rushed to get rid of his shorts and you took charge when the cargo straps got tangled and he couldn’t figure them out. Your bra hook snagged in your hair and he masterfully was able to get it undone, with a sly little press of his fingers to the sides of your tits as a reward.But just as he was about to move to meet you in the middle of the bed - maybe the wrong moment, maybe the right one - you just had to stop him and say, “I lied. I never went on a date. I was seriously ready to never be with anyone again.”He was momentarily stunned, you could feel his hands squeeze around yours as he processed just what the hell you were saying. But it wasn’t an exaggeration or anything even close. People broke up and moved on with their lives all the time, but it genuinely felt like you wouldn’t be able to had you not been given a second chance to break the curse.Jaehyun laughed at you softly, like you were the most loser-y loser in the history of losers, “So disagreeable you are, my sweet. I do believe I shall enjoy your dramatics to the fullest extent I can throughout our life together.”
Because I’d be getting married to someone who tolerated the disagreeableness.
Maybe you did know what the fuck you were talking about.Now fully okay with this, you shared one more disbelieving laugh together that you were free to do this without any consequences or tough conversations. He gathered your hands up to press some pretty kisses along your knuckles, your quiet, shared signal that he needed your help getting into just the right spot so he could… oh, slip inside with a smooth, sudden burn that you weren’t expecting.It was a shatteringly new feeling, in a way it hadn’t been before. Knowing this wouldn’t be the end, that you didn’t have to hold back in case you would break your own heart, had every nerve of yours dialed to the highest. Even the barest moves felt as if they were designed to tattoo straight into your tender skin’s memory.“Are you alright, my sweet?” he questioned as soon as he sensed you weren’t fully chilled out.He stopped what he was doing as he waited for an answer. Feeling him all the way in you brought about this sense of completeness - both physically and in this incredibly moving emotional sense - and you had to take a moment to walk back off the sudden ledge. You wanted to enjoy it a little and not just immediately fall apart.You kissed his mouth the way he liked, then whispered your reassurance, “I’m so good. So good.”He moved experimentally, always the one to take care of you, but you didn’t want him to be gentle, not here. So you got your shit together and let out a teasing little whine, then moved your hips down to meet his with a bit of forceful purpose.His hands gripped your waist like he did the first time you slept together and warned you in a low voice, “Patience…”You could not believe his bossy tone or his cheeky little face.Even though you made it clear what you wanted him to do, he was going to tease you by doing it this way - dragging things sooooooo fucking slowly as he pulled out at this insane, friction-y, lazy pace where you could feel every bit of him move against you. He sunk back in and you gripped his shoulders hard at the sudden shower of sparking goosebumps, then he snatched your wrist up and brought it to his mouth. His dark gaze didn't move away from yours once as he marked a pretty little bruise right over your tattoo. He kissed it so softly, one tiny nose wrinkle coming out to match—“I love you,” you gasped desperately.That was pretty much the only time you’d ever said those three words in the middle of sex. But you were always sharing these new firsts with him.But it wasn’t anything to be embarrassed of... you didn’t think you’d ever seen a happier man than Jaehyun was then, with his little pink cheeks blending into his dimples and nose wrinkles shining in his smile.“I am in love with you,” he echoed, as soft as the sweetest cloud in the bluest sky. “I will always be in love with you.”You knew he wasn’t saying it just to say it.Fueled by the confessions you were free to make to each other, you pulled him in for a kiss, closed your eyes, and descended into the bliss of pure darkness and him. He kept going, his body and his motions attuned to what exactly would pull out the most lovestruck sighs from your lips. He knew his hands sweeping over your tits would have your heartbeat racing for him and the manner in which he pressed his thumbprint into your hip tattoo would have you clenching around him and heightening these divine sensations.He shifted upwards and you gasped at the sudden depth he was able to achieve... but you realized he did so to brush your nose with his, to kiss you sweetly, wrap you up in his hold so you’d feel so protected and… so his.“Fuck, Jae. IloveyouIloveyou.” It tumbled from your mouth so easily, as if your vocal cords were only going to be tuned to his frequency from now on.“Oh, Blue. My Blue.” His deep voice murmuring your name felt like the closest thing to a prayer you’d believe in. “I love you so.”You lost track of your existence then - how many more times he moved, how much you begged for him sweetly, how many wrinkles the bedsheets pressed into your skin. All that mattered was feeling his hands on yours and him inside you and the sight of his pretty face circled by the lights every time you opened your eyes to make sure you weren’t dreaming.It truly didn’t take long when your heart was always this burned with his presence.He didn’t have to work hard. One more lingering kiss that you could taste his satisfaction in, his hips sinking into yours with the exact pressure you craved, a second where his motions hesitantly stuttered 'cause he wasn’t that far away either. One flash of the tattoo on his arm flexing with his effort and that was it. You were swallowed into this riptide of churning, nebulous, wonderful, nonsense feeling, then were pushed right under. As the tension snapped and evolved into this delicious, shaky ache that coated every part of you down to your core, you didn't bother trying to fight it. He’d already percolated into every cell that had formed your body.As you fell and fell and fell into this pit you never wanted to be rescued from, you savored the subtle images of his desperate bliss - his eyes half-blinking as he struggled to hold on, his kisses half-closing around your lips because he couldn’t concentrate, his shoulders half-quaking as he moved so quickly in you his body couldn’t keep up with his sudden, gasping peak.Unlike the first time and all those other times, as you collapsed into the bed together, you were stuck to each other’s sides and unwilling to be separated. The sheets tied you together both literally and not, lol. As the haze started to dissipate, you became acutely aware of just how tightly you were gripping each other, as if you were scarred by the fear that you might be separated despite the circumstances. He brought you into his embrace as if he could keep you there with him forever and your head squished between his muscular arms was suddenly your new favorite place to be.All you could hear for a rumbling few seconds was Jaehyun's sprinting heartbeat, but his clear, honest words peeked through right after, “Why do I feel as if my life has just begun. Am I alone in this?”“No,” you exhaled into his soft skin.Coming up for air after burning out your lungs in an endless swim was a close metaphor to what this feeling was. But the only real way you could describe what his love did to your life was... existing in the dark depths of a frozen-to-your-bones cave, struggling your whole life to acclimate to those temperatures, then emerging to the sun’s rays bringing about such tickling, satisfying warmth.Your words snagged at that spot on your throat he always liked to hold, “I was…”“Do not burden yourself with speech if you are not prepared for it. I have fully understood the depths of your heart since the day that we first met.”Jaehyun pressed the pad of his thumb into your wrinkle, then across your lips to keep you from hurting yourself by falling back into your grief. Flashbacks hit you hard then, of his beautifully frightened eyes finding yours as the very first thing he did in this life, and you realized you never stood a chance trying to be without him.“I was scared I’d be trapped in that unhappy world forever,” you confessed softly.You spent your whole life pretending you didn’t give a fuck, that you made your circumstances what you wanted them to be and couldn’t care less if they never changed. But you deserved more. You deserved this imperfect life that awaited you with your perfect-in-your-eyes prince. You deserved this kind of overjoyed, gushy, gross happiness, that secretly allowed you to appreciate the strands of sadness woven within.“As was I.” Jaehyun kissed the tender knuckle of your ring finger, then closed his hands around yours and let out this shaky, emotional breath, “I am most grateful to you for that, my sweet.”“I love you the most for that… my love.”And there was no better feeling in the goddamn world than to finally be able to say that whenever you wanted. 
tbc. (for the final time!)

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The universe knew you could never have a bad day again.Even though it was close to eight in the evening, the glorious golden sun was still streaming in from your new bedroom’s window. There had been a serious reshuffling of rooms over the past few days - Jaehyun didn't want to stay in the royal bedchambers alone and your old room had a nice bed but horrible vibes. The palace’s marital chamber had an even nicer bed and fantastic vibes, so it was a no brainer.You were curled up next to a sound asleep Jaehyun, knocked out in a full food coma as a result of trying Popeyes for the first time. You were listening to him lightly snore while doodling on the journal’s last page—“You have arisen, my sweet?”His sleepy voice and the press of his mouth against your hipbone was such a lethal combo and you had no defense against it. Your fingers trailed through his hair as you melted into him and admitted, “It’s a habit I’ll probably have for a while.”Naps were still plagued with the subtle fear that he was doing more than just sleeping. But you were always happy to wake up and check on him, even that meant if you couldn’t fall back asleep.You leaned over the pillows to give him a sweet kiss on the mouth, then again against his tattoo where his arm was behind his head, surprised yet not that this subtle affection came so naturally to you. After a trio of kisses to the freckle in the middle of his cheek and the corner of his eyebrow and the center of his dimple (duh), you whispered right there, “You are so handsome.”“Whatever has prompted this outpouring of overwhelming love?” he teased.You were trying your hardest to be more open about your feelings. “I will never be as good with words as you are, but....”He swooped you down into the bed while you were still talking and kissed you properly, like he hadn’t been able to do in the time he was napping. You felt like a prim little princess underneath him as he sat up on his forearms, for one lingering second of thrilling eye contact before he dipped his lips to nudge yours apart. Then Jaehyun rolled back into his pillows with an arm draped around your waist and you cuddled up to him close, feeling so full and sleepy and loved.After a second, a particular thought pricked your mind, “I wanted to ask you something. The journal, did you read any of it when you had it?”Those afternoons with Professor Song were for you to work together on this endeavor of a lifetime… but they were also a secret hiding place, designed so you could drown in little stories about Jaehyun while separated by such horrid distance.His fingers traced down its leather spine just as his other hand brushed down the whale on yours and he shook his head. “I could not bring myself to. I would become overwhelmed with emotion whenever I opened it.”Hopefully the bad memories from those few weeks would fade into nothingness soon.“I’ve been thinking… well, I’ve already been working on it ‘cause I was going to do it either way, you know," Shit, you were totally botching this, "So I’m hoping you’ll be cool with it. Otherwise I’m fucked… I’m in big trouble.....”You were doing a shit job at explaining the tender plan that you’d pushed into motion, and the more you fumbled, the more upset you got. It got to a point where Jaehyun had to take matters into his own hands -  he leaned over to kiss you in the middle of your sentence, knowing the press of his lips would be enough to calm you down.And it was, after one slow, even breath, you managed to finish without another fumble, “My dad always wanted to publish a book about his research and never did. So I thought that maybe… as the expert on your life… you might be able to help me finish it.”Professor Song made a huge deal of you doing proper justice to the story of you and your dad that was tucked away in those pages. But it was never going to be the full extent of his life’s research if there weren’t one or two special chapters added to the end.Jaehyun didn’t react beyond his mouth turning up in a sweetly confused smile as he totally missed your point. So, you wrapped his hand around the bracelet on your wrist and said with soft, cheeky intention, “There are a lot of updates that he missed.”He still didn’t move in the epic way you were trying to provoke.“Oh, I’m fucking this up. Maybe start here.”And you pointed his lovesick gaze to what you were adding in while he slept:

It must be noted that the daughter of the author (referred to as Blue in the earliest chapters but furthermore known as the Crown Princess in the ones that follow) and his royal highness happened to meet in the present day, after a series of perplexing coincidences. They quickly discovered that they were perfectly meant for each other, in a way that could only be described as the hand of magic bringing them together. The prince and princess spent the rest of their lives, and all the centuries that followed, in married contentment.

It took you the entire length of his two-hour nap to come up with the words for that tiny ass paragraph, but this was the effort that Jaehyun deserved. And this is how you wanted the two of you to be preserved as the years passed you by—“Felicity.”“What?” He was way too smart for you all the damn time.“Exchange contentment for felicity,” Jaehyun softly corrected as he made your fingers trace over the word. “Its meaning is that of overwhelming happiness.”You were going to get married to him and build the snootiest vocabulary ever, pop out ten kids, and drink vodka Red Bulls out of a tea cup with your pinky up.“May I propose an another exchange?” He sat up to bargain with you and you were as intrigued by by his offer as you were by the stretch of his abs (hey, your new crown couldn’t buy class! LOL!) “Leave this book in my possession temporarily. I will read it from cover to cover and suggest the necessary amendments… if you accept this.”Jaehyun placed a ring, the one he taunted you with, on the cover of your dad’s journal.It wasn't just the one he taunted you with. It was the complimentary, missing piece to the famed Jeong engagement set, the one that only the future princess was supposed to wear. The ring was made up of one naturally shaped diamond - with no sanding or beveling - placed in the center of an elegant gold band that somehow matched the rest of your cheap jewelry.“It was an heirloom meant to be given to the daughter of the family, to continue the strength of the Jeong legacy.” Jaehyun gifted you the context that no one else could, before he took your hand and slipped the ring on your trembly little finger. “And once we are married, we shall write the rest of your father’s legacy ourselves.”A bloom of true love spread to cover the core of your heart. However big your family grew from here would be as a result of the roots your dad had cultivated for the both of you.“In… maybe a year or so?” you wondered, feeling stupid you even had to bring it up.You’d never been a real girlfriend before. You wanted to experience that before you were locked into the terrifying excitement of being a princess… and a wife.Jaehyun shrugged with all the carelessness of a man who was set with his life. “A year is immaterial in the grand outline of matters.”You weren’t going to argue with him about that.Trapped between the pillow and his chest - caught between a rock and a hard place was taking on new meaning here! - you were tempted by his lingering, slow, light brush of a kiss. It wasn’t enough, so you chased him into another, but he backed away right before your lips met, not willing to oblige until you indulged in exactly what he wanted. He’d been playing this game ever since you’d gotten together and you were the biggest sore loser.His fingers teased into your waist to bring out your tiny, “I love you,” and being this shy and smitten which was truly a unique feeling for you.But he didn’t say it back, no matter how much you kissed him.“Hey, I’ve been saying it a lot more than you have. Not fair,” you whined, giving him the flutteriest eye flutter in the history of eye flutters.His mouth dipped to the pink-and-orange spot on your neck (that was lately accompanied by some sweet purple) and murmured there, “I am in love with you,” then ghosted his mouth over yours so closely, which ended with you huffing in frustration when he kissed the crown of your hair instead, “I am in love with you,” before he pressed his nose to yours and you felt the love pour right out of him. “I am in love with you, my sweet.”He snagged you in a kiss the very next second, the exhale after that you were letting him pull your blouse off, and before you knew it, you were tumbling over the mattress to drape yourself on top of him. You hadn’t left the marital chambers since you’d moved in, hadn’t left the bed for a majority of that time... but why would you even want to? With his hands in your hair and his words prying you apart and his hot mouth sneaking down to kiss at your chest—“Yo, wanna have dessert togeth—Seriously?” Nayeon’s grossed-out yap killed the sudden mood. “We couldn’t have lunch or dinner because of this!”Oops.“When you and Eunbi got together you spent a week at a hotel!” Lord knows what they were doing there! Probably having intellectual debates with the way she was lecturing you now!!!!!!!!!!!“Yeah, because you and I were in a fight," she grumbled. "Asshole…”“Ahem!”You cleared your throat on purpose, then flicked your eyes over to where Jaehyun was not paying attention. Thank god he was giggling at the straw on the plastic water bottle they’d given him, figuring out for himself how it managed to get the water to his mouth. She couldn’t be going around the palace calling people assholes willy-nillly!True to form, Nayeon started to roast the man in the room instead of you, “You asked her to tone down the cursing?”Jaehyun was beyond offended she’d think that and protested immediately, “I did no such thing.”Which meant when Nayeon saw at your sheepish little grin, she knew a) exactly what you were doing, and b) that you were going to wear her down with it until she gave in. But she had to understand. There were certain rules that were helpful to follow to succeed as a princess - like cutting down on the cursing - and you were going to follow them.“You lovesick asshole. Move over.” She yeeted herself into the bed and crashed against your folded legs on purpose, then she tossed an expensive piece of paper your way. “This is for you.”Your eyes had barely skimmed the heading before you grumbled at her, “A retainer bill? Bitch.”Nayeon had only done that so you could see the paper was covered in her official monogram as the palace counsel, though. When you looked up with a proud smile, she flashed the sigil pin on her blazer to match.You’d probably have to retire yours, you definitely weren’t an employee anymore.Jaehyun grabbed the papers out of your hand and pushed your head the opposite way so you couldn’t see the fees. “I will foot the charges. You are doing us a generous service in dealing with the incarceration of the Lady Who I Will Not Name.”As much as there was still a shitstorm to come, you had your biggest advocate back on your side.Last you heard, Jessica was putting together a GoFundMe to raise enough money to bail Yuna out of the Arlington jail where she continued to be held. Your former stepmother didn’t seem to be having a lot of luck garnering sympathetic funds since it was still at… five dollars. But that was pretty much the only update you knew. The second they were taken away by the police they ceased to exist in your brain and Nayeon took over dealing with the legal shit. Which was the easy, uncomplicated ending you deserved, all things considered.“Now Blue has almost as much money as you do,” Nayeon joked.And yes, that fat load of inheritance money had been unfrozen and officially deposited into your bank account. The number on it was so far away from zero that your brain melted a little bit when you got the email. You def weren’t going to keep it - the money felt too tainted at this point - but you had some ideas that you were workshopping.Eunbi appeared in the doorway of your room and her resting frown transformed into a soft, bright smile. “I thought you might find you all in here!”This was the end of your honeymoon streak. Lmao.“Put a shirt on,” you whispered to Jaehyun. “This is not happening any time soon.”He slipped on his VBeach tank - he seriously would not take it off - then let Eunbi rest against his folded knees just like Nayeon was doing with you. She let out a regretful sigh and said, “Well, just got off the phone with my parents. Apparently becoming the prince’s wife’s sister’s girlfriend was not close enough to royalty for them, so….”You’d interacted with her parents in passing that awful night and never really wanted to again. They couldn’t even be proud that Eunbi tried to help you stop Yuna and had gotten an injury from it - they only berated her for being so obvious about her love for Nayeon and claimed that it'd embarrassed them in front of court when no one there really cared at all. It took Johnny being Johnny to get them to scurry away like the losers they were.“We will be your family and you will be ours,” Jaehyun responded matter-of-factly, without looking up from the journal he was now reading.“Is it we now?” Nayeon asked on purpose, to both pry and be an douche at the same time, her specialty.“I don’t know, Na. Is it?”They both glanced over to where you’d casually run your hand through your hair, the sparkling glory of your gigantic ring-bracelet combo unable to be missed. It was going to take you some time to get used to all this new and valuable jewelry, but it wasn’t hard to be deeply respectful of everything it represented.Nayeon’s jaw dropped and you could hear her fond jealousy, “No way are you getting married before me.”Who knows, you still might not. Jaehyun had really vibed with the idea of being a boyfriend.Eunbi poked his knee and laughed out loud, her previous sadness forgotten, “You might be the first man in the modern world ever to ask someone to be their girlfriend with a ring this fancy.”“You are envious,” Jaehyun hummed as he jolted his leg to rattle her head in retaliation. She pulled a strand of his bangs so hard that he yelped and immediately checked in the mirror to make sure his coif was still perfect.You weren’t envious of them at all. There was no reason to be.Instead, you grabbed Eunbi’s hand to give her a moment of honest support, “Being my sister’s girlfriend is enough for me.”Nayeon shifted around so her nose pressed into your thigh, to get you to shut up before she cried, but you weren’t going to take that back. You’d claim credit for pushing Nayeon back towards her successful professional life, sure. However, their relationship had made her blossom in a way that you could never touch.The four of you sat squished into the massive bed with plenty of room to spare, in a mutual state of quiet, steady happiness. And you couldn’t lie… it felt nice.Until Jaehyun couldn’t keep his hands to himself and started trailing his fingertips against your bare ribcage, trying to pull some kind of reaction out of you. He didn’t look over no matter how hard you glared, but the second you tweaked his abs he flinched and knocked Eunbi’s head.She turned around to scold him then stopped after catching a glimpse at what he was reading. At first she sighed in appreciative awe at seeing the legendary journal for the first time, “Is that your father’s famed work—” before her brain whirred through a dozen skipped steps, “Wait. Did you cheat with this book?!”The jig was officially up. Only she was just a little too late.“Hey!” Nayeon yelped and hit her in mock offense.Though it all worked out the way it was supposed to, you could only imagine how pissed Eunbi was knowing she’d been at a disadvantage from the start. But was the competition for his heart ever really fair when you had a decade and a half of preparation?“Is it even surprising to you that I cheated like that?” You were a big time liar and schemer to your core and this time you got your goddamn money’s worth. “Can’t say I’ll ever regret it.”Jaehyun smiled at you so happily while hiding behind the pages he starred in that the blush stained his cheeks and his ears and his neck in one go.You would let her throw the tantrum she needed to feel better, but did Eunbi not realize that she and Nayeon were going to end up in the book themselves? The course of history wouldn’t be the same without either of them.Dumbass bitch. Lol. — With your most prominent tattoos tenderly covered and your hair pinned up into a messy mass of elegance… you were the pinnacle tonight. Of what, you weren’t sure, yet you knew this was the best you were ever going to look (except for the day you got married!!!). Corny, but it was only because of the happiness radiating out of every part of you—“Your highness. Princess Blue!” You jumped when you saw Mark in the reflection of the mirror, waving his arms around like a fool to steal your attention. “Please get used to your new title so that I can stop shouting.”You rolled your eyes. “I called you Mark three times last night and you didn’t turn once.”It was too weird to keep calling each other Chancellor and Lady Chancellor so you agreed to drop every formality. Once Jaehyun heard, he started insisting that no one in the inner circle call him Prince - you had to steer him away from Johnny’s suggestion of his royal dudeness - so it wasn't just you. You all had new titles to get used to.“You’re a dick,” he grumbled, before getting to what he came here for. “May I see?”You pushed his buttons hard by joking, “My dick? Sure.”Mark had given you the middle finger so many times over the past month that he had to physically stop himself, knowing there were too many guests here to be degenerate.He stepped inside your dressing room instead and you turned from the mirror to show off the gown that you’d selected - deep burnt gold with a plunging strapless neckline and matching gloves to compromise. And to your surprise, Mark had a tear in his eye the next time he blinked.Yeah, you’d been getting a lot of that today.“I always thought it’d be a goddamn cold day in hell when I was forced to change my style, so…” You shook in an exaggerated shiver and made Mark grin through the tears that were still escaping his eyes. If you kept getting given these stunning things to wear, it was going to be hard for you to pretend like you hated the change.He reached into a pocket and handed you a handkerchief.“What’s this for?” Nayeon was gonna be pissed if he was implying the makeup she did on you was bad.Mark gestured towards the missing flower on your sternum. “You didn’t need to cover them.”“I thought, well… Everyone would be less shocked if I did.”“He’s going to be mad. He was already mad you convinced him to put his in a spot that’s hidden under all his clothes.”You had heard from the new tailor that Jaehyun kept asking to put a hole in the elbow of his new suits, just so he could stop moving up his sleeve to show off your wrinkle tattoo. You were so in love with him you felt dumb because of it. The whole thing was so stupid. Haha.After wiping the foundation off so that the wildflower gently shimmered under the mesh of your gown, everything about the rest of the night felt so much more tolerable. You would’ve sat through being uncomfortable with the fancy party for Jaehyun ether way, but now it just felt like you were going to the best mega rager of your life.“Don’t change,” Mark warned sternly.“Never,” you responded. “Or… not completely.”There was always going to be a bit of old you left behind.“One last thing.”Your phone pinged from deep in the skirt pockets the seamstresses had added on and you fished it out to see the message preview of a very familiar screenshot. With the swirling chaos that had taken over your life since ball preparations had begun, you had totally forgotten how much of an important issue this still was.“You never gave this to him?” You couldn’t even roast Mark properly for not doing what you'd asked. You were too doused in the old showers of love that had watered this piece of your confession.“I was saving it…" Mark got all choked up out of nowhere, "J-just in case a day like today came around.”And you were so soft, that your sympathetic choke came right out, “W-Why?”“We are celebrating this evening because of you,” Mark wasn't trying to hide any of his emotions, not in his words or in his teary eyes. “This is all thanks to you, even more so that you didn’t want any of it.”That much was true. You suppose the not like other girls competition had a truly unique prize waiting at the end.But you had grown enough to know you could never take sole responsibility for any of it... so you extended the gratitude to Mark in return, “This is as much a day to celebrate you as it is for anyone else. You kept the royal family alive.”His father and his grandfather - all the way back to the Marcusson who served in the palace when Jaehyun was prince the first time - were surely experiencing the most glowing pride for their son right now.You didn’t shake hands and you def didn’t hug, but you and Mark smiled at each other and knew you couldn’t deny that you were friends.He bowed deeply, then it was time for him to transform into Chancellor Mark and make sure that the night went perfectly, “His highness wishes for you to meet him in the Hall of Portraits before the evening begins… your highness.”You needed to go get your fiancé. There was no reason to attend an engagement ball without the person that you were engaged to.The rustle of your skirts (who knew dresses this fancy had more than one!) around your legs was a sun-hot spotlight onto your newly elevated status. Crowds parted with no glaring necessary, palace servants could not stop grinning as they bowed, and every tourist who shuffled out of the palace museum before it closed did a double-take as you walked by them and...…A couple making out right beside the bust of John Adams?! Where was the etiquette?!“Decorum! Decorum, please—” You attempted to shame them into stopping but something about how the man grabbed the woman’s butt with no regard for his surroundings pricked at your brain. “Oh my god?”Johnny and Dawon broke apart from their ferocious kissing with a scream, then fearfully clung onto each other when they thought they were done for.Until Johnny saw it was you, saw what you were wearing, and didn’t hold back, “Oh my god. What the the hell is this?!”“What the fuck… freak is that?!” You wanted to burn your eyeballs but also couldn’t look away. “Are you DJ George Washington?!”Under his plain suit jacket was his typical black tank top, but Johnny had covered it up with this frilly vest that half a dozen princes were also wearing in their portraits here. He’d tied his long hair back in an elegant half-up ponytail complete with a black velvet ribbon and was wearing actual dress shoes. Who the heck was he?!Dawon was done up to perfection like she always was, in a sparkling opal number with perfect gemstone accessories, but she clung onto his lapels and chirped, “Do you like it? I thought it was cute and proper for today!”She dressed him? Dude was a goner.You decided to lob both of them the easiest wingwoman maneuver ever, “He let you dress him?! He must really like you!”“You like meee?!” She squealed and immediately gave him another kiss in gratitude, which quickly devolved into them making out at an even more aggressive degree. One second in and they’d forgotten you were there, another second and his hands were back on her butt.Both of them looked so… happy with each other, they couldn’t stop smiling while they were kissing. You got that feeling. You really got it.“Whatever is this commotion?!” Jaehyun peeked his head out from around the corner and the couple broke apart for a second time, knowing they absolutely had to stop. He observed them for a second and you wondered if he was actually going to roast them, before he said, “Johnny, you appear strangely. Almost as if you are… clean.”He was the most hilarious person alive.Johnny had no idea if he was just cooked or complimented, so his features twisted into this awkwardly polite smile as he looked to you for interpretation.“Take it as a good thing and go. Do not have sex at a palace event, otherwise I am never inviting you back,” you warned him.A dressed-up fuckboy was still a fuckboy at heart, not everyone had the mental fortitude to change like Jaehyun did.Johnny flicked a hand out to your hair, trying to mess it up, and he doubled down on the teasing, “Aw, you’re gonna invite me back?”“Do not test me," you grumbled.But maybe.When Dawon pinched the back of his neck because he was so not being polite, Johnny bowed like everyone else did and gave you his sarcastic best, “Congratulations, your not-highness! We never would’ve worked out anyways!”“Congrats, girlie! Solbin and I want to do a celebratory shot tonight!”Lol. Right intentions, wrong kind of party.Jaehyun held your hand and the two of you politely waved goodbye at the other couple. And you felt morally superior for the first time ever when Dawon grabbed Johnny’s hand off her waist and slipped it down to her butt… just before they ran into an uptight Mark approaching from the opposite hallway. As he began to scold them, you laughed to yourself. You knew better and to save all of that for later.But first…You smacked Jaehyun on the arm and yelped, “You invited him?!”“All of your acquaintances were extended an invitation,” he confirmed with a happy grin. “This is our engagement ball.”You stared at each other with the happiest, goofiest grins any person had ever grinned. This was your engagement ball, this was a night designed to celebrate the both of you. It was impossible that you were this enchanted by the gold brocade on his navy jacket, the ivy pins in his hair, the buckles on his shoes all matching your dress, but that’s where you were in life. A dumbass who loved matching couples pics.Getting engaged or married was never anything you truly wanted. On the off-chance you did - there was always a contingency plan - said plan was to just get it done at the courthouse and celebrate at endless wing night at the VBeach Buffalo Wild Wings. Now look what it had become—“Blue?”You turned around together to greet… Professor Song—Joyce, wearing a gown in her signature purple and looking every bit the elegant lady she was. Though her shaky hands had covered her mouth in surprise at the sight of the two of you. Keeping his fingers on your wrist so that you knew he was there, Jaehyun stepped away so that you had a moment of privacy to talk together. After everything that happened, she’d had gone back to Williamsburg to prepare for the school year and you were so surprised she was able to make it up here on a school night.“Look at you. My goodness, you’re all grown up.” With such joyful melancholy in her actions, she let her fingers float out to touch your shoulder and you moved so that they did.There was no room to be strangers anymore.“I’m almost thirty years old,” you laughed softly. “But I guess I get it.”“He would’ve cried all day today,” she sighed.You knew she was right. Your softhearted dad would’ve been an inconsolable mess and everyone new to court would’ve known exactly who the father of the princess-to-be was without being told.Jaehyun gently interrupted your reminiscing at that moment, “I have a gift for you.”Joyce was as confused as you were. “For me? Is that why you called?”You had a feeling Jaehyun was never going to stop surprising you. When did he have the time to call her just to extend this random invite?“It is intended for my wife, but you will be a beneficiary as well.”Your heart trilled in sudden curiosity as you linked hands with Joyce and followed Jaehyun inside the Hall of Portraits. He brought you over to a gilded picture frame that was resting on the wall, turned backwards so that you could only see the brown canvas backing.He cleared his throat, then began again, “As you may have learned through your studies as a scholar, it was customary in my era to give your intended a portrait of yourself prior to the betrothal.”Joyce knew what he was talking about and more than that, knew how to frame it in a very polite way, “Yes, since many marriages were arranged and unable to meet in person beforehand, brides and grooms wanted to ensure they were getting… what they were getting.”AKA no catfishing. Lmao.“But now since you may store endless images of me on your phone,” He didn’t call it a talking rectangle and you had no idea why you were suddenly emotional. “I figured there would be an alternative more appropriate to commemorate this occasion.”He hefted his weight to shift the frame around and it was… a painted portrait of your dad, with shiny glasses on and dressed up in an elegant grey overcoat. The same kind of fit he would’ve been dressed in if he attended tonight’s ball.Tears slipped out of your eyes, then doubled at how hard Joyce gripped your hand when she saw.“Where did you… how?”Jaehyun must’ve sworn a promise to himself to complete this in total secret because he’d given absolutely nothing away, the hardest feat for an open book like him. And now you were the loser who had nothing to give him in return.“I borrowed your phone whilst you were asleep,” he shyly revealed, “and Mark informed me of a technique called the shopping of the photo.”“Photoshop,” you whispered.“Yes. He shall join my parents with respect here.” He shifted the painting so all three of your parents were lined up in a row, and it was hard not to notice how they shared the same honesty and kindness, even through the broad outlines of a brush. Jaehyun’s fingers drifted towards the faces of his parents and you knew the gentle grieving both of you carried would never quite go away. “We may kiss their portraits together and hope that one day they shall awaken.”Who knows. True love made anything possible.He faced a quietly tearful Joyce and said with polite affection, “Madam, you may visit the portrait of your colleague whenever you so desire and without an invitation. You may also access the repository of royal archives available in order to complete your book.”You stole a handkerchief out of his pocket to give to her and held her shoulders as she cried though her response, “I don’t… I don’t even know what to say. You honor me.”“I may only request that you continue to regard the princess as an extension of you.”Joyce glanced over at you and quietly revealed the hidden truth, “More so now than ever before.”There had been no dramatic reveal, no tearful heart-to-heart between the three of you. You asked Joyce if she wanted Jaehyun to know, she said only when she could acknowledge to herself what her true relationship with your dad was. You honored that request and Jaehyun only regarded her as a close family friend and your father’s former colleague ever since.But as you watched her fingers dip around her necklace while gazing at the face of the man she loved in secret… you knew she saw you as the daughter (no step necessary) she’d always wanted to have.Joyce opened her arms and tucked you both into a warm hug while she whispered, “Big, big, big congratulations. I wish you a very happy life together.” She allowed Jaehyun to kiss her on the cheek before she turned to you with a newfound sparkle in her eye. “And I will see you on FaceTime or something. We’ll figure it out.”You couldn’t exactly just day trip down to Williamsburg whenever you wanted now that you lived in the palace with your fiancé. But none of the three of you were willing to give up on Project Sinderella now that it was in action and had real-life publishers sniffing around it.As she left, you reached a hand out for Jaehyun’s, to fawn over him for the gift and hope it’d make up for not having one. But you felt him nervously shaking instead.“Are you nervous?” you asked. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”You’d spent half the morning practicing your waltzes over and over and over again. You were the only one who had anything to be nervous about, he’d been trained for this his whole life—“I do not wish to force you into obligations you do not desire. You have a life that you very much enjoy, my sweet. I shall always take you into consideration.”The gown really freaked him out, huh.And, well… considering you’d already sent out every goddamn invitation for your wedding at the end of the year, you couldn’t exactly go back.But you had no idea where Jaehyun’s anxiety was coming from and why he was considering changing his mind. You had to dig for it, “So… if I told you right now that I wanted to give up all of this and be a pointless, partying hermit in VBeach forever, you’d be cool with that?”Jaehyun did not look cool with that, but he agreed anyways, “Yes.”“Don’t lie.”“We are more than that, are we not?”“Maybe. Yeah.” Never would’ve thought so before this.Why the heck was this feeling like one of those epic movie montages where you realized you had greater purpose or whatever? You were finally doing something with your life! You didn’t want to give that up!“How about this?” You took both his hands in yours, just some early practice before the real thing, and painted an imaginary portrait of your balanced life with him, “We find a summer house back in the nice part of VBeach. When we’re there, you’re Jae and I’m Blue and we can do whatever we want. Maybe not the club again, but we can try a bar. And definitely some Ding Dongs and another tattoo. There are a lot of things I want to remember now.”The grove of trees surrounding the rosebushes behind him when you first said I love you. The row of newspapers on the palace media stand calling the new princess a William & Mary professor’s daughter. The view out of the window on the first car ride Jaehyun survived. The sunrise from this morning, when you woke up to him sleepily staring at you from his side of your bed.“But you’re right, we can’t leave completely. I may not be an almsperson anymore, but they still exist, so…. You’re going to figure out how to fix that," you finished.This was the very last part of the old plan you'd come up with for him. You were about to win the entire country over by throwing a banger of an almost-wedding, then a very real one, and now Jaehyun could do whatever he wanted.He seemed skeptical of your trust in him. “How?”Your own nerves now flaring hard, you took out your phone and showed Jaehyun the well-loved screenshot that had been waiting for its moment. It was no commissioned portrait of a person he loved with all his heart, but it was the first shred of proof that you loved him with all of yours.HIs eyes skimmed the list, then he asked, “Who are these men and women?”“They’re professors nearby that teach modern political theory,” you explained with the full force of your love shining through your words. “They should be able to get you up to speed once you tell them your degree is from a school that technically still exists.”Once Jaehyun realized what you were saying - that you were going to support him in his quest to become a prince who did more than just look pretty - his signature smile, dimples, wrinkles and all, lit up his face.“I am in love with you,” he murmured.You lifted a flirty, bare shoulder like it was no big deal. “Oh, you’re welcome.”You hugged each other under the soft shine of the portrait hall lights and the honest, affectionate, mutual support you shared swelled to fit the tiny space between you. He rested his head in the crook of your neck, as close as he could get for the rest of the night without a scolding, and you dotted little kisses against the length of his hair. You loved him so much that you would do anything for him, you'd do this over and over and over again....Then, out of nowhere, you felt Jaehyun look up from the hug and heard his deep voice crack, “L-Lady Solar.”“Your highness.”Solar and Jaehyun stared at each other in complete fascination down the length of the hallway.You couldn’t believe he could see her, but she must’ve decided to show herself at the conclusion of the curse, to check in and make sure this was as real as she'd orchestrated it to be. You took his hand to remind him he was there with you. That everything was okay.Solar curtsied to him as low as she could, then said quietly, “I have come for the final time, to ensure the princess receives her tiara.” She smiled at you where you were tucked behind him respectfully, but the atmosphere was still pressurizing around the two of them.Jaehyun bowed to her in return and you had never found him more princely than he was then, “Is there any assistance I may offer to you?”“The only assistance you should offer is to yourself," she answered. "An extension of graceful absolution that will go hand in hand with the vows you will soon swear.”He could forgive himself for everything that happened with his almost-wife as he made a new promise to you. Everyone in this room knew he’d never let the thought of doing so cross his mind again.“I am sorry,” Jaehyun whispered as his fingers clutched yours.Early on in your friendship, his regret over this situation had moved you into viewing him as a human being. And viewing him as some cute, regular boy was ultimately what kicked the avalanche of falling for him loose.Solar shook her head and you could feel the regret and pain in it. “I am sorry.”She did what she thought was right, but only ended up disturbing three lives in the process.But the time to go rest with her sister was fast approaching. The longer she watched the two of you together, the more peaceful satisfaction began to take over Solar’s energy.“Dude, I know you said no tiaras, but look what I fucking found!” Nayeon stormed into the hall in a hurry and almost bumped into Solar, who ducked behind the statue of George Washington just in time. Jaehyun couldn’t believe that no one else had seen that, but you were distracted by the circlet Nayeon flashed in your face. “Don’t the sapphires and diamonds look like whales?!”The tiara itself was made of the shiniest gold you’d ever seen, but it was also covered in a sprinkling of glowy jewels fused together. The sloping diamond bodies and sapphire heads indeed made the crown look like it was lined by a pod of lazy, swimming blue whales. Exact replicas of the ones your dad marked on his journal pages.You and Jaehyun glanced over at Solar in gratitude and she waved at you one final time. The sound of two young girls’ joyful laughter followed her disappearing down the hallway, then it all dissipated into warm silence.The Lady of the Violets no longer appeared sad when you peeked at her portrait. It was nothing more than a painting of a girl who kinda looked like you.The curse was over.You pressed a hand into Jaehyun’s cheek to call him back to you, “What do you think, my lover?”His wistful gaze broke away from the spot Solar was just standing on and he stared at you, eyes covered in a full storm of emotions. But his happy amusement ultimately broke through at the sight of the crown, “This was a gift from the fishing communities who resided by my family’s summer cottage. Whales are not fish, my sweet.”“I guess I won’t wear it, then,” you huffed. “If you’re going to be rude about it—”Jaehyun swooped in to kiss you so you wouldn’t finish your sentence, then he stole the tiara and placed it perfectly in your hair, careful to not mess up the curls. He stepped back to regard his handiwork, his chest nearly exploding with the heady pride that came out in his voice, “I could not ask for anything more. Lady Nayeon, please preserve a photograph of this.”Jaehyun tried to step away to give you your moment but you snagged his arm before he could. “No, don’t. I have too many pictures of just me.”And… you looked better in pictures with him anyway.He nestled you into his right side, where he’d promised you’d always be, and you wrapped your arms around him. You couldn’t care less if you wrinkled your dress or if he messed up your makeup as he squished his wide-smiling cheek into yours. You liked these private snapshots the most because you looked like a normal couple in love, more than you would in any of the formal pictures you were going to have to take tonight.Eunbi showed up late… because she had taken the time to absolutely serve in her crimson Versace gown, perfectly matched to the suit that Nayeon chose. With the subtle onyx makeup you'd slayed to the gods on both of them - that was now a getting ready tradition you couldn’t let go of - the two of them made a pretty striking power couple.She air-kissed your cheek and admired her and Nayeon’s handiwork on you, “I must say. You are not totally unbecoming in this modest style of dress.”“Can’t you just give me a normal compliment?” you huffed.“I hired you to be one of my chancellors, that means you must do what she says,” Jaehyun warned her when she did not immediately obey.He created a random position within his staff for Eunbi, partly so that she'd have a reason to stay in DC... and partly in hopes of convincing (AKA tricking, a page out of your schemes manual) her parents that she was a big shot in the prince’s entourage. They seemed to be kinda receptive to it, since they recently thumbs-up reacted a picture of the four of you where she and Nayeon were standing together. Progress.Eunbi needed no further prompting and sighed in genuine appreciation, “You look gorgeous, Blue. I’m very happy for you.”That enemies arc was officially donezo, too.“Self timer?” Nayeon wondered now that you were all there.“Whatever is self-timer.”“If she puts her phone over there and clicks a button, then it will automatically take the picture so she can be in it too.”Jaehyun glanced at Nayeon’s phone, then his eyes traced the length of space over to the marble ledge you were pointing to, and it was like you’d told him the earth was flat. He blew out an amazed breath, “I have so much to learn.”“So do I,” you whispered.You squeezed his arm so he knew he wasn’t alone. There was a gigantic list of customs that had to be drilled into your head before he was your husband and you still had a pretty big handicap on any significant education advantages. But you were going to learn it all together. You knew he would never, ever make you feel stupid on purpose.Nayeon balanced her phone beside a portrait of a very ugly man riding a very ugly horse, then you screamed in anticipation as she ran back in her heels to make the picture in time, “Hurry, three seconds left! Say cheese!”Jaehyun was so confused. “Pardon me?”“Just smile!” You ordered him through your teeth without dropping your beaming grin. “It has nothing to do with cheese, and no, I don’t know why we say it!”“Cheese!" he called out, obedient and perfect as always. "Perhaps cheddar!”The picture was crazy cute - with you and Jaehyun stuffed together like squishy gold chipmunks and Nayeon and Eunbi elegantly holding hands in their best magazine pictorial impression. You wondered if the royal family did Christmas cards back in the day. That was the one thing you always wanted to do when you had money.Like a real older sister would, Eunbi helped Jaehyun put on his three-cornered hat and showed him the matching golden crown he’d need later for the dancing that she was safekeeping. When they were done, they moved to the side to let you and Nayeon take a second.You didn’t have to say much, didn’t even need to look at each other before you were hugging and laughing and crying a little into each’s other shoulders. It was the perfect storm of your friendship - overwhelmed, stressed, lively, supportive, relieved - and you were left just the littlest bit sad that your best friend wasn’t the only person who loved you anymore.“I bet John fifty hard ones that you wouldn’t fuck up anything tonight,” she whispered in your ear. “I am too poor to lose.”“I’ll try my best, dude," you whispered back.And if (when, lol) you did, you had enough money to cover her bets. Lmao.Nayeon kissed the middle of your cheek, then ran over and did the same to Jaehyun, happier than happy for the two of you. She gathered up Eunbi and the two of them slipped away together to enjoy a private moment of their own before they had to be palace employees.Then it was just you and the love of your life for one last moment as yourselves… before you were introduced to the entire country as the prince and princess.And something was definitely on Jaehyun’s mind, the intoxicating spell of his mischievous eyebrows drew you into him as he spoke, “I have one last query to present you with.”“You agreed to wait,” you reminded him sternly.If this was his way of convincing you to get married at your engagement ball, that was def NOT happening. You’d warned Nayeon and Mark to keep Jaehyun from doing so at any and all costs, you were that convinced this silly idiot was going to jump the gun and surprise you with the royal priest. Lol.He pressed a hand to his neck to hide the blush that you could still see, yet kept his face and his voice solemn, “Yes, I would marry you in a fortnight if the possibility arose. But this is not that.”“I already agreed that we could sneak away in the middle of the dancing.” After a very convincing argument and a live demonstration of what he’d do, you agreed to find time to escape to your bedroom together while your guests were preoccupied with the regular kind of dancing.It was a very convincing demonstration. Very. “This is not that, either.”“Then what is it!”He stuck out a warning finger in your face when you got snappy. “Ah. Disagreeable.”You flashed him the same finger, not the other one. “Princely.”It was an absolutely nauseating sign of your endless love that even the most terrible of your vices made you both swoon like this.“I have to be for this query only. Then I may return to being your boyfriend.” Jaehyun did not back off from his royal pretentiousness - he got snootier and haughtier, had you feeling like every slip of gold in the palace had snuck over here to help him shine like a god. “Because the first dance at every ball is indubitably reserved for the one woman the prince most highly favors.”He took your wrist, kissed the the outline of your tattoo with such gentle affection, and what the heck. Maybe there was some truth behind the phrase happily ever after.“Will you accept the honor of sharing the first dance with me tonight?” he inquired.You kissed his mouth to say yes, the best way you knew how. Your mouths met with such extreme excited enthusiasm in the middle that he ended up knocking your crown all lopsided and you hit his funny hat right off. Your fingers pressed into the spot where his tattoo hid under his coat and Jaehyun let out a delighted sigh when your lips slipped into another kiss. The more you kissed, the more you felt like you belonged in that privileged upper class people always talked about…. just because the way he loved you was so priceless.“I will. I always will.” You found yourself laughing as you said it, like your heart knew this pure happiness would be the only thing you felt until your endless slumber. “Or as they say now, fuck yeah.”His eyes were sparkly with tears when you both took a moment to stare, to savor the person who made change seem a little less impossible than before.“Fuck yeah,” Jaehyun echoed sweetly as he moved your tiara back into place. “I understand.” 
ye olde fin.
  wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and there we have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i promise i'm not going to ramble like i usually do, there are just a handful of points that i want to cover: 1. as always, i cannot say a big enough thank you to all of you guys!!!!!! i always get nervous every time i post a new fic, even though i've been doing this for years now, but you guys have always been so good to me. thank you for reading, for every like, comment, kudos, share, interaction, etc. as always, these have made the story so fun and i've been delighted each week reading through all of your reactions and theories. shoutout to my silent readers too, i am you in the alternate universe where i read! i am so grateful for you too.

2. i could go on forever about how special this story and characters were to me (it's definitely a top three JCU fic for me), but i'll just keep it short and sweet. i try to have a main message in all of my big fics, y'all know this. and idk, maybe it's just me getting older but the main message that it's okay to be yourself but it's also okay to change too (if you make that decision on your own) really resonated with me. i've always thought the main point in life was to find and love - either romantically or platonically - the people who are the most comfortable with who you are, but who you feel comfortable changing and adapting your life for as well.and i greatly enjoyed how all the characters had their own growth journeys along the way that they chose to engage in on their own. it felt very natural and mature as i was writing them, i had so much fun with all the side arcs. and finally, his highness and blue are going to live a really happy life together! i really could not get enough of how much he loved her, it became a challenge to write the most over the top confessions of love and i think i nailed it looooooooooool. prince JH is definitely a top three JCU JH for me as well :)ps: i thought it was hilarious that the one and only time he cursed the entire fic was the final line. i had that idea from the start lol 
3. as much as i'd love to say there'll be deleted scenes for this, lately i have just not had the motivation or brain capacity to revisit stories after they're finished. i REALLY hope that's not the case here - since there are soooo many believable and hilarious deleted scenes that could come out of it - but i don't want to promise any. maybe i could put together a little list or something so we can laugh at it together and i can have it in case inspiration strikes.

4. finally, the biggest question - what's next?!i'm gonna be totally honest and dramatic here lol.there is nothing lined up for after this fic. the recent 🫡 news really broke my brain in a way that i wasn't expecting, as i'm sure it did with a lot of you.i had some stories in the queue, including one i was working on over the past several months while this fic was being updated, but now i kinda don't want to post any of them. they're either action-based (which i was immediately like nope, too close to home) or so angsty/about being separated forever/just really kinda dark, old-school toxic JCU? i know that you're going to say "LYTLM just post them anyways" but idk i genuinely can't bring myself to finish and have like 0 interest in pursuing them rn. it's just a weird brain thing and i think you guys know by now how separate i like to keep my fics from events in real life.i def want to pursue some happier projects - romcoms have really been scratching my writing itch after this story (or even smaller stories like kiss me kiss me?) or maybe something in the fantasy genre which i haven't tried before. but i'm going to keep it 100% real - i don't have as much time and energy as i used to, churning out 300K fics in a month just isn't something i can do anymore. i'm not saying i'm not going to post for the next 18 months, i'm definitely going to have something at some point, i think i just need time to see where this hobby is going to go and where i want to take it. i know i haven't posted as much over the past year and i have been so grateful for your graciousness and understanding with my various hiatuses. i hope you still have it in you to be patient with me as i navigate what's next!please link w me on twitter @lytlm_ao3 so you can stay updated on my writing life and how things are going! i'm sure i'll have more concrete plans sometime soon.i still am going to leave you with a huge XOXOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXO and my endless love and gratitude.as blue would say, peace and fucking love, bitches.and as i would say, see ya later alligators!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XO