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His feet hit the cracks of concrete on the empty road. The street lights are dim, some flickering on and off with their abandoned care. He watches the houses go by in the neighborhood; some flickering with lights of hope, the new families finding their beginnings. Some abandoned; old families falling apart after love is lost. The petrichor stench rises off the grass, the ground still wet from the rainstorm.
Zoro watches his feet, one after the other, leaving behind invisible footprints. Footprints of one; as he walks alone. He breathes out and the stench of alcohol on his breath traces back to his nose.
He is alone.
His invisible footprints are the impressions of a relationship that could never happen again.
Sanji is gone. Lost to one of those new families, finding their beginnings, a happy marriage. He had delivered him home. The bachelor party was a success for Sanji, and for the others too, but Zoro couldn’t help the melancholy feeling sinking into his bones.
He continues walking, running a hand through his greasy hair. He hadn’t washed it in quite some time, since the engagement had been quickly announced. His ability to care for himself is gone, as is the endless nagging about hygiene.
He sighs, watching the abandoned houses again, the moss and leaves overgrown on the sides, the rain multiplying their decay.
The rain multiplies his own despair.
The road is silent, the only sound is his crunching feet.
The slam of the door as Puddin’ pulled Sanji away from Zoro. The absence of her words spoke volumes. She disregarded Zoro as a toy, pulling her future-husband away and silently cursing their bachelor party.
Zoro listens to the silence, his own heartbeat drowned out by the flickering light ahead.
He stops at the streetlight, leaning his arms against it as the drunk tears slide down his face. He would have crawled on his hands and knees for Sanji, and still would. He would give anything to make them happy.
Them
. He would do it for Puddin’ if it made Sanji happy too.
Where had he gone wrong? He had never seen their relationship failing as it was now. He remembered the nights beneath Sanji’s sheets, where they had whispered sweet nothings to each other and promised that
maybe
-eventually- their relationship would be public and
real
. Zoro assessed their circumstances many times, never landing on failing. There had been pools of lust and desire between them. Had he assessed them incorrectly? Love. He had called it love.
He reaches into his jacket pocket, feeling for the last note Sanji wrote for him. He pulls the paper out, which is soaked, falling apart at the creases where it had been folded. The inked words are gone, illegible puddles of ink.
The rain had taken it from him, their last walk home. The rain hit before their relationship was official.
He throws the note to the ground, holding back the sob desperate to escape his throat. He fails.
Fails, as he did Sanji. Fails, as their relationship did. The tears escape, rolling down his cheeks in waterfalls. He deserves the loneliness the empty streets provide. Not even a stray cat, or a frog, to be his friends. He deserves
this
. Sanji does not need him anymore. He never did.
It’s a sick, sad, sham of a marriage.
He knows it. Deep inside, Sanji doesn’t want Puddin’.
Sick. Sad. Sham of a marriage.
He can’t change the world and he can’t change the circumstances he’s given. The marriage exists, it’s going to happen, and Zoro has to accept it. It’s all he’s allowed to do, accept what the world has in store for him.
Maybe their relationship was a sham. Maybe their relationship was full of the sadness Sanji was unable to heal. A sick way for them to deal with their mental health struggles.
Zoro starts walking again in the direction of home, watching the cracks in the road as more and more houses grow abandoned. Funny, how the houses are so much like him. Abandoned as a love ends. The realization hits him; he’s been deceived. He has been deceived all along.
He could be everything Sanji needs. He could be every crack in Sanji’s concrete.
He could be easily deceived, if Sanji wanted to try again.
He wants so badly to be everything Sanji wants. The embers of his heart flicker as he puts one foot in front of the other again, breathing slowly. The night stars his only light as he turns the corner, leaving the neighborhood behind forever.