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The lights go out in Philadelphia when Billy dies. There’s something poetic in that Freddy knows. It's the only part of Billy’s death that makes sense to him. The world should be dark. His brother is dead.The power grid stays off but the sun comes up in the morning and they bury Billy in the realm of the gods.The wizard says Billy is worthy of such an honored resting place. Freddy thinks Billy was more worthy of life. He thinks that his brother looks out of place in the realm of the gods small and utterly human underneath the bare, skeletal branches of the tree of life. They fill in the grave, and Freddy can’t watch as the dirt covers Billy’s face. He covers his eyes with his hands and turns away until it's over and the sound of the shovel stops. Afterwards, he lays a picture of the two of them on top of the mounded earth. Victor puts a hand on his shoulder. Freddy turns his head into Victor’s shoulder, hiding his face in his father’s shirt but he can still hear Rosa and Darla crying.The house is a wreck. Rosa and Victor rent a couple of hotel rooms while they figure things out. Freddy shares a room with Eugene and Pedro. Sometimes Eugene crawls into his bed, all pointy knees and sharp elbows shoved into Freddy’s spine. Freddy lets him.Rosa and Victor discuss in whispers and tears what to do. Billy is gone and the authorities must be notified. Officially he’s listed as a missing person. The police think it’s likely that he was killed in the disaster, but with his history as a runaway they don’t want to close the case.They hold another memorial for Billy anyway. This one at a church downtown. Not many people come. Freddy looks around for Billy’s birth mom, but he isn’t sure what she looks like. He doesn’t think she attends.Mary finds him sitting on the steps outside afterwards. People brought a lot of food and Freddy has a plate next to him. She sits down a step higher and says nothing for a while.“I miss him,” she says eventually.Freddy shrugs. He doesn’t. Not really. He feels guilty about it, but he doesn’t feel much of anything about Billy being gone. Numb. Like he was never real. Freddy was okay before Billy came. Maybe he will feel the same now. Mary hugs him tight from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder. He pats her arm, offering what comfort he can.They have to go back to school. Rosa drives them in the van.“I’ll pick you up, okay?” she says.Darla hugs her, and Rosa plants a kiss on the top of her head. When Rosa shuts herself back into the van Darla velcros herself to Freddy’s side. They watch the van until it disappears around the corner. Darla clings to him as they make their way inside. Freddy lets her. Darla is only eight. She’s just a kid. Still obsessed with unicorns. Although Freddy’s noticed she’s been different lately. She switched her sparkling unicorn backpack for a plain dark purple one. And she clings to all of them, reaching for them, touching them as much as she can, as if afraid they’ll disappear if she isn’t touching, isn’t watching. Freddy walks her to her classroom and she doesn’t let go of him until they reach the door. He can feel her eyes on his back when he turns away and he knows that she watches him with wide eyes until he turns the corner.It takes a couple of months, but eventually the house is habitable again. The bunk bed in his room has been replaced with a single twin. Victor and Rosa offer to help Freddy sort through the boxes of belongings, which had been sent to storage rather than hauled to the hotel while the house was under repair. Freddy doesn’t say no, so they spend an afternoon sorting. Billy hadn’t left much in the way of worldly possessions. A lot of things had been shared items with Freddy. Rosa laughs when they find a picture of Billy making a face at Eugene. Victor smiles too, and they take turns talking about memories that Billy’s belongings bring to mind. Rosa cries a lot, but she also smiles. Freddy mostly just listens. After Victor and Rosa leave, he stares at the posters Rosa had put back on the wall for a long time. The signed Superman poster stares back at him, arms crossed against his chest. Freddy throws his notebook against the wall, knocking it to the floor.Pedro knocks on Freddy’s door a few weeks after they move back in. Freddy doesn’t answer but Pedro comes in anyway. He shuts the door behind him and shuffles through the mess Freddy has been making of the room without looking down at what he’s stepping on. Superman takes a foot to the face and Freddy finds that he has the urge to giggle. Pedro crawls onto the end of Freddy’s bed and Freddy pulls his legs up to make room for him. They sit in silence for a while until Pedro clears his throat.“Been thinking,” he says.Freddy stares at him, waiting.“We had one rule. All of us, or none of us. Billy shouldn’t have been there by himself.”Freddy nods. It was Billy’s favorite rule.“He should have brought the staff over. We could have Shazamed together. Taught that bruja a lesson.”Freddy pulls his arms tight around his body and sniffs hard, wiping his face against his sleeve. Pedro looks shifts uncomfortably at Freddy’s feet.“We could have helped. He should have let us help,” he says.After Pedro leaves Freddy sits in the dark thinking. Billy was the one chosen by the wizard. He was the one worthy to wield the power of the gods, untempted by the seven sins. He wouldn’t do his brother the dishonor of remembering him as faultless, but perhaps he had been alone in this regard. The rest of them had joined because Billy asked. Because Billy needed them. Because of the fun and glory that came with being a superhero. Freddy had fallen for Anne as soon as she had turned wide brown eyes in his direction. And the rest of them had been completely unable to withstand the fury of the gods, stripped of their powers. Billy talked about family and said that they should always do things together, but he had died alone. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face.It's a Sunday when Victor comes to see Freddy. He knocks softly on the door and then lets himself in without waiting for an answer. Unlike Pedro, Freddy can hear him step around the piles he has been making on the floor. Freddy hears Victor’s breathing, knows when he comes to stand at the foot of the bed.“Hey buddy,” Victor says after a moment and Freddy peels his eyes open to look at him. The light sneaking through the shades pierces through his eyes straight into his brain, making him squint. Victor smiles at him.“You feeling okay?” he asks. “Didn’t see much of you yesterday.”Freddy does not feel okay. His leg is aching, his head is aching and he’s tired. He feels like he’s tired all the time lately. He shrugs.Victor comes closer and puts a hand on his forehead, and then on his cheek and frowns.“I don’t feel a fever,” he says.Freddy sits up a little and Victor’s hand drops away.“I’m okay,” Freddy says. When Victor still looks concerned, Freddy smiles at him. Victor still looks concerned and Freddy gets tired of smiling.“You should come downstairs,” says Victor, “It’s time for breakfast.”Freddy nods. Victor squeezes his shoulder and then pats it. Freddy watches him pick his way back out of the room to the door. Victor turns around when he reaches it, eyebrows drawn down tensely.“You know you can talk to me, right?” he asks. Freddy doesn’t know why but the offer makes his eyes prickle and his nose start to run. Victor stares at him, the doorknob in his hand. Freddy breathes in through his nose, and can’t help but sniffle as he does so. Victor freezes at the sound and then he’s walking back across the room, this time with no regard to the items strewn across the floor.“Oh buddy,” he says, and sits down on the edge of the bed, pulling Freddy practically into his lap. Freddy finds suddenly that he is crying and buries his face in his father’s shirt. Victor pats him on the back, and Freddy clings to him fiercely. They stay that way for what seems like a long time, until Freddy’s sobs die away into hiccups. He looks up to see that there are tears in Victor’s eyes too. He hears a sound and turns to see Rosa standing by the door. Freddy wipes his eyes hurriedly, embarrassed. Rosa makes an inarticulate sound of distress and he hears his Superman poster take another foot to the face as she crosses the room. He looks up as she settles onto the mattress next to Victor placing an arm around them both.“Mijo,” she says, and runs her fingers through his hair. “Oh mijo, you need a shower” she says, startling Freddy into a small laugh. He hiccups again and sniffs hard, wiping his face on his sleeve. Rosa keeps patting his head and Victor keeps him pulled in tight, patting his back.“Let it out, baby,” she says and against his wishes, Freddy finds that he has more tears. Another sob breaks its way out of his chest and then he’s crying again. His parents hold him tight and he thinks they might be crying too.After that they make him go to counseling. Not just him, it's all of them. Freddy isn’t sure how they’re supposed to talk to the counselor when they can’t say anything about Shazam or how they know Billy is dead. But still, they go. Freddy is nervous. He sits in the chair, his crutch leaning on the armrest and smiles tightly at the woman across from him. He finds his mouth moving before he can think what to say.“Guess those supervillains are good for business, yeah?” he asks. “Lots of extra trauma floating around.”The counselor smiles at him.“I’m Dr. Vick,” she says. “What would you like me to call you?”Freddy shrugs, and shifts uncomfortably in his chair.“Frederick,” he says, and doesn’t know why. He hates being called Frederick. “Or Rick,” he adds, “the end of my name has been feeling neglected for years.”The doctor smiles at him kindly.“I’m going to ask you some questions, but you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m here to listen. I want to help you, okay?”Freddy looks down at his shoes, watching his toes twitch as he shrugs.“Frederick,” she says, “can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?”Freddy shrugs again. The doctor lets the silence sit for a long time before she speaks again.“It’s okay if you feel uncomfortable sharing,” says Dr. Vick, “I understand. Let me ask you a straightforward question then, do you ever feel like hurting yourself?”Freddy looks up at her surprised. She meets his eyes and he doesn’t see any judgment in her gaze. He feels tears building suddenly and he looks down again.“I don’t know,” he says.Dr. Vick says nothing for a long time.“I want to help you, Frederick,” she says again. And Freddy is tempted to laugh at the use of his full name.“I don’t think so,” he tells her, “I don’t want to hurt myself, but sometimes I think it should have been me instead of Billy. It should have been me.”He finds the admission freeing. He feels the tears spill over and he looks up at Dr. Vick. She doesn’t smile at him, just looks at him and nods.“Okay,” she says, and Freddy is struck by the idea that talking to her is like pouring tears into the ocean. She can take it all and never fill up, and maybe he’ll drown or maybe she can teach him to swim.“My name is Freddy,” he says quietly.“Okay Freddy,” she agrees.