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Kei and Tadashi are close best friends.Maybe a little too close.Before High school, Tsukishima got used to seeing Yamaguchi every second of his life, he didn’t show it, but he liked it.Yamaguchi had his own friends besides Tsukishima, but they would never be as good as Kei, he knew that, and it give him his pride and confidence.He was sure that Yamaguchi had all of his attention on him, that he will need him always and never leave his side.Let’s say that Tsukishima developed a ”little crush” on Tadashi in that time.He didn’t realise that his “little crush” is not that little.When they went to high school, they went to the same class together, but sadly not the same class in English, Tsukishima was in higher group than him, however, they joined the volleyball club.First days were okay, but next days were a downfall for Tsukishima, and an opportunity for Yamaguchi.Yamaguchi isn’t so talkative and extraverted but if someone talks to him he’s just a little bit more talkative than usual, especially when making new friends.When Yamaguchi is making new friends at new school, Tsukishima is ignoring and being slaty to people as always.Day by day Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi slowly disappearing from his daily life.His thoughts are killing him.He’s starting to have sick thoughts.He misses Yamaguchi.And will do anything to get him back.Finally he does.And manipulation is his best weapon.They end up in this strange relationship, where everything is surely (not) healthy.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Everything is perfect.
Well, at least it was.
༺𓆩♡𓆪༻–Tsukii!~ How do you think begging of the school will go??My best friend is laying on my bed, wearing light blue shorts and light pink t-shirt with a little strawberry embroidered on it, not gonna lie, he looks good in that outfitEspecially his legs, he has long shiny legs. Just like woman’s legs, not too thin and not too thick, just perfect.He looked up from his phone staring at me waiting for my response.–Normally I guess, just more people than always. – It’s going to be so akward and annoying meeting new people, I don’t think I want it.I’m sitting on my chair and scrolling through my phone watching some shitty videos on the internet, sometimes I peek at Yamaguchi to check what he’s doing, just to make sure he’s not bored with me.He’s always the one talking, and I’m always the one listening, it’s been that way since I can remember, but there are few times where I have to take initiative.–Don’t you feel a little exited to meet new people?– he rolled over facing me.– I feel nervous when I’m thinking about it, what if they won’t like me?That…wouldn’t be so bad.–Stop caring what other people think of you,Yamaguchi. It would be just the two of us… —Gomen Tsuki~ Like it always was.
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Now, months later from that day, I realised it’s almost end of this school year, time goes by so fast.I’m sitting in my class bored as fuck listening to Teacher who’s repeating yesterday’s lesson. Im deep down into my thoughts reflecting on my own life, when i heard whispering.“Fucking hell” I thought to myself. Can’t people just wait to talk after class? I don’t want to hear that dumb shit.Then i heard giggles. Fucking annoying “I can’t deal with these people anymore”I turned around to see who’s making that noise and “kindly” remind them that were in the middle of the class, and its not appropriate time for them to talk, but then i saw it.My best friend, passing notes with some random guy from our class, giggling and whispering.My eyes were wide open, staring at them just smiling at each other, palm slowly clenching into fist on my desk.“What the fuck?” My mind is getting crazy.Yamaguchi’s smile is so bright and beautiful, and this guy looks like he’s just been hit with truck and shocked by a taser.He touched Tadashi’s delicate fingers and looked at him with lust in his eyes, smiling softly. Motherfucker.I feel like I'm about to explode, literally shaking with anger, tapping my feet nervously and slightly biting my bottom lip trying to calm myself down.“Why am I even mad?”I finally managed to look away from them just to start glaring at my notes.After seeing them I can’t stop torturing myself with my own thoughts.“He’s just a friend. Yamaguchi can have another friends, right? Nobody will ever be more important to him than me, right? Right?” I looked back at them again.Teacher is already scolding them for disturbing the class with unnecessary talking.“Yup, that bitter bitch don’t even stand a chance” I let out a little grin.
“Nobody stands a chance”
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–So, which outfit should I choose?– Said Yamaguchi snapping me into reality.I was in my own world reading some book that I planned to read a long time ago, I didn’t even realised that Yamaguchi was talking to me this entire time. It's only an hour after school and this day is already annoying.–Uhh…What?–I said awkwardly, he’s going to kill me.–Tsuki! i asked you which outfit do you think is the best?– He pointed at his bed where all of his clothes were gathered in a big pile of mess– Did you even listen to me?I’m going to be honest, I don’t remember a single thing he said to me about outfits.–Umm…–I don’t what to lie, but also I don’t want to seem like a bad friend.–…kind of?–Tsuki! You’re lucky that I didn’t get to dressing up part.– He sighed– Now, can you pay attention please and help me choose what to wear?– He got closer to me, but not too close.–Well, it depends on the occasion what you should wear.–I looked him in the eyes and noticed his face is getting irritated more and more by the secondThose beautiful hazel big eyes, i feel like i have soft spot for them. For what I feel like an eternity i have a crush on my best friend, Yamaguchi. He’s the sweetest person I have ever met, helped me through tough times, always had great advice for everything, no matter how difficult situations could get, he always managed to find the best solution.He’s one of the kind, that’s why I love him, and don’t get me started on his looks. Beautiful freckled face with big bright hazel eyes, ideal lips and thick green hair. Perfect figure that could be compared with a model figure, long arms and legs but with a little thickness on the thighs. It’s a dreamy figure that only I want to touch.I scanned him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, and that’s when I realised what’s actually standing right in front of me.Yamaguchi, dressed in EXTRA thight black shorts, with baggy white shirt. My heart started beating so fast that I thought it was going to explode, my breathing stopped. He’s looking hot, more than ever. My eyes couldn’t take the look out of him. His light soft skin is right in front of me, looking like it’s begging to be touched. I could smell his sweet perfumes, they are making me fell sick and dizzy, just like poison entering my body addicting me of itself. it’s making my body ache for more.–Tsuki!~ I told you on our way home that i go out with friend today! You could just try to listen more sometimes.– He said it giggling, getting dangerously close. Fuck.Yamaguchi put his hands on the armrests of the chair I was sitting in as he leaned towards me, making eye contact.His so close to me, I'm one move away from touching his delicate body and his beautiful face. I think i lost myself in those beautiful big eyes of his, they are hypnotising, never knew i liked eye contact so much, probably because I don't, it's just Yamaguchi. I want to hug him and never let go. Make him stay with me. I want to feel him even closer, rub my skin against his, kissing his soft lips as we touch. Let me touch you just this one time, Tadashi, please just this one time, let me feel you.Then i felt my boxers getting way too tight, and reality hit me like a brick.–I'm just joking Tsuki~ I like you just the way you are whenever you listen to me or not, i get you.– He stopped making eye contact with me and turned around walking away from me to sit on the bed.I looked down at a big bulge on my pants.–I need to go to the bathroom– I blurred out as i got up, not even looking at Yamaguchi.i ran into the bathroom with the biggest boner of my life and locked myself in. I sat on toilet seat and took my pants off right with boxsers.“Holy fuck” My cock is literally twitching. I know i have crush on Yamaguchi, but geez. Fucking hell Tadashi, only you can do it. “What the fuck am I supposed to do right now? I can’t come out like that” That’s right, so before i even noticed, I started to stroke the shit out of myself trying to be as quiet as possible. It's not like I wanted to get much pleasure from it, I just wanted to get rid of it. Even though I tried really hard, some moanes eventually came out. —T-Tsuki? Are you okay?– by the shaking of his voice i could tell he’s worried.
"Fuck, I’m done for life."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
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I didn’t think this situation could get any worse, but here we are.
Locked in my best friend bathroom, worrying him what’s wrong, turned on with the biggest boner I ever had.
–Tsuki did something happen? If i said something wrong I so sorr-
–Everything is fine Yamaguchi, no need to worry.– I said with calm voice.– Just give me a couple of minutes, okay?
–O-okay Tsuki! Gomen!— I heard his voice getting further away from the bathroom door.
Tadash always been the one worrying about everything, usually it’s very cute but sometimes it can be really annoying.
Now i need to do something about this thing down there, it would be a shame to come back in a state like this, especially in front of Yamaguchi.
What would he think of me? would he say anything or just stare at me like nothing is going on? Maybe he would yell at me for being a wierdo, and a jerk for running away to bathroom like that? I didn't even helped him chose the outfit, I just ran away like a coward.
I dont know what would be worse, him yelling at me or just staying silent, personally I think the second one would be more hurtful.
The feeling of him being so disappointed in me that he doesn't even want to say anything is something I just wouldn't bear. What if he would just stay silent and then leave? I dont want him to leave, not unless he assures me he will be back. What if he leaves and never comes back? Cut contact? Disappear form my life, and forgets about my existence?
No, I am over reacting, he will never forget about me, Im too important for him.
I may be kind of an egoist and a selfish person, but let's be honest, who cares?
Sometimes I think what would happen if he had left me.
I imagine he'd be miserable without me, and I instantly forget about that topic, i just can't imagine us being separated.
I put my boxers and pants on.
"Wait"
I look down
"Thats not normal"
I stand up and look at the mirror.
"Or is it?"
I turned the tap on and looked down at water running down my hands.
Im falling for Yamaguchi? Or were just best friends? Is it normal for best friends? It was only a crush.
"Why am I such a fucking mess?!"
I splashed some water on my face.
Then i heard steps coming closer to the bathroom door.
–Tsuki, as i said earlier, Im going out to movies with my friend, so don't worry about me i will be back soon!
Huh?
Did i miss something?
Friend?
–And don't worry about outfit I already chose one! Shit, Im going to be late as always, I need to go! Do you want to say bye before i leave Tsuki? You don't have to come out. – his voice is so sweet – if something happened we can talk about it when I come back, if you want to talk about it of course.
I stopped listening to him as soon as I heard part "friend". So he is leaving. Maybe he can't fully leave me, but he can change me for someone else. He can switch me places with some other guy much better than I am. No, im perfect for him, he wont replace me, right? Fuck, I can't just lay all my trust for some false hopes. That's not me, I think, not hope. Fuck, Tsukishima think.
If i let him leave right now, god know's how close he and this guy could get, but our relationship is strong, so one guy can't just break it like that. Unless, he gains his trusts. If I don't want Tadashi to go and be sure to not loose him, i need to stop him now. Time is running, clock is ticking. It's like a game, If i let him go with this guy i take serious risk of losing him, if I stop him, I can be sure of having him as my friend as long as I want, but Yamaguchi is not dumb, after some time he can get mad that im keeping him away from making friends.
Tsukishima whatever you do, you need to do it now.
I got out of the bathroom slamming the door open making Yamaguchi jump in fear.
He was leaning against the wall in front of the bathroom door waiting for me to come out.
–Tsuki! What's happening? Don't scared me like that!
i started walking towards him
–Yamaguchi.
–Yes Tsuki?
i got closer looking at him from the top.
–h-huh?
That's the only thing I didn't think about, how am I suppose to stop him? What am I supposed to say?
–Your going with who?– I needed to figure something out, quick.
–Oh! Umm, Im going out with my friend for our class, I don't know if you remember him but he has short hair just like yours! But his are brown, and he's not so tall like you Tsuki.– He started to walk away from me towards front door but stopped in the middle of the way.– So do you want to say goodbye before I go?
Shit I don't know what Im supposed to do, or even say. Why didn't I just thought of that when I was in the bathroom. Im loosing him. He's slowly loosing interest. Fuck i need to react, but how to keep him from running away? The best way is to block his path towards the thing that he wants to run away to, but how to blok it with words?
He looks at me suspiciously, just like he knows Im struggling right now and I see his face getting more of a curious expression. His eyes looking deeper into me than any other pair of eyes couldn't imagine to see.
He knows me too well, and that will be the end of me.
Then it hit me. If I can't think of way to stop him with words, i just have to do it with my body.
Right before I was able to think of anything else my body reacted first as I blocked the front door leaning against them.
But you know what? That was a great fucking move.
–You're not going.
–Wait...what?– Yamaguchi is clearly in disbelief what just happened. His face is so shocked that it looks cute.
–You're not going anywhere– I repeated myself so he would understand. When i said something shocking to him I always needed to wait for him to understand or just repeat myself to help him process it, that's how Yamaguchi Tadashi works.
–Tsuki- But why? Why I can't go?
Shit what should I say?
Why didn't i think of this earlier.
I can't tell him the truth, he will think I'm crazy and egoistic.
–Tsuki answer.
He's getting serious, that's not good.
i want to tell him something but i just simply can't, only thing i can do is to... stare...at his soft lips...and big eyes...
–Tsukishima answer me!
Fuck this shit.
...
I kissed him, making him shut up.
His soft lips touching mine, his big shocked eyes and thick hair covering some of his face.
For a moment I felt like he kissed me back, liking this moment.
I closed my eyes enjoying this moment
Wait... does he even wanted this to happen?
That's when it hit me.
What the fuck am I doing?
In a second I stopped this kiss and started at him.
He's in total shock and so am I.
–T-Tsuki...?–Oh no.
It's not a good time to talk.
I don't want to talk.
I need to get out of here.
it's too hot in here, I feel like im going to explode.
–...Sorry...– Nothing more could come out of my mouth.
I put my shoes on and my jacket, I want to fucking disappear from this place.
–Tsuki wait, let's just talk.– Tadashi grabbed my arm but I carefully pulled away.
–Go meet with your friend.– Then I opened the door and walked out.
I don't know if Yamaguchi was screaming something to me or not, i was in a trance.
What the fuck did i just did.
I kissed my best friend, and then just walked off.
This day couldn't be any better.
I lost my best friend.
It's w 0:1 for that dude he's meeting up with.
Well maybe 1:1 because I kissed him, but on the other hand it's this dude that's going to speed the day with him, so it's 1:2.
I'm losing.He's slowly flying away from me.
I'm losing Yamaguchi.
Please don't fly away.