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Her eyes burned. Her throat hurt, and her lips felt chapped from the salty tears that were streaming down her face just mere hours ago. She just felt completely lost. Ava had been there. She had been there and supported Sara the best that she could through everything. Hell, she tried to be there when she was possessed by a freaking demon! The one time Ava needed Sara herself, her girlfriend (an ex-girlfriend, but it doesn’t matter) was nowhere to be seen. She was actively going against her, making Ava have to risk everything.Her corner felt painfully empty. And she tried to apologize with a batch of snickerdoodle cookies? She almost gets fired, and she brings some useless cookies. The uncomfortable feeling in her chest returns just thinking about it. Sobs scratch at the back of her throat as she unlocks the door to her apartment. It was supposed to be their apartment one day, if Sara ever got over herself. She feels utterly pitiful. Heartbroken over some girl.She’s not some girl, Ava reminds herself. Sara was supposed to be the love of her damn life. She was supposed to be the woman that Ava made a life with. Somewhere quiet and safe, with wedding pictures lining the walls and maybe some dog toys on the floor because Sara would never let her get a cat. She’d want some mauve curtains, a nice mix of light and happiness, and that touch of seriousness Sara carries with her even though she tries to ignore it. Maybe a porch, if Sara would’ve gone for it. A white one with a swing to watch sunsets and giggling children. If Sara wanted kids, if she even wanted to get married, Ava would bite her cheek. Hard. She wants to grow old with that stupid, stupid woman, yet she abandoned her today.The closest Ava will get to any of that is the week Sara almost moved into a small loft apartment, and pictures of them on missions hang on the wall of her hallway. One of them was at that stupid summer camp she hated, and another was laughing on the Waverider. Pictures of ‘almost’s and ‘what-could’ve-been’s. Longing sobs are replaced with angry screams. How could someone say they love you and then just do something like that? Toss you aside as if you’re absolutely nothing to them when they say they love you.Suddenly, things that never had anything to do with the time captain are screaming reminders of a future that Ava could never really have with the woman she wanted. A stupid throw pillow Sara laughed at the first time she came over, and a picture frame that was still crooked from that same night as the giggle all the way up to Ava’s bedroom with eyes closed and wandering hands.Ava just wanted to love someone and be loved back. And she was so close—so damn close—to something real. Something far more real than she ever was. So what if Ava didn’t have as high of a regard for magical creatures as Sara did? Why can’t she just get that Ava was trying her best and still getting her footing from everything that happened the past year? Her world was turned upside down, and then she lost Rip, and she had to keep the Time Bureau afloat. She was doing this for them. She knows how much the legends meant to Sara, and they would be nothing without the funding that Hank provided. It’s one damn creature—something just as real as Ava is. Something fictional. Something fake. Like Ava. Who is so painfully replaceable that she was the last of twelve? Why did everything have to circle back to that?Any spiraling thoughts were cut off by the sound of her door being kicked open, and she’s suddenly greeted with a punch. She fights back. Any memories in her apartment are trashed as she’s dragged away half-conscious. She should be grateful.
