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I can’t seem to focus on much lately. I keep thinking about everything and nothing at all really.Leo has been avoiding me. I don’t understand why. I wonder if I did something to upset him. All I want to do is be close to him. Like how we were before. Like how we’ve always been.Maybe he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. Then, what would I do? We’ve always done everything together. When I’m around him, I feel happy. Happier than when I’m alone and can’t stop thinking.He hasn’t visited in days. He’s been spending more time with his new friends. He probably prefers being with them now.I shouldn’t have fought him in the courtyard. That just made things worse, didn’t it? I didn’t want to. All this rage built up inside me, but really I wanted to tell him how much I missed him. When I saw that he didn’t wait for me, I felt this emptiness. It was loud and unbearable. I’d always wait for him. I’m not sure if he’s ever coming back to me though. We’re getting farther away from each other. Does he want it that way? He looks over at me sometimes. For some reason, I feel more pain from it. I think he’s only seeing if I’ll freak out again. I just feel really sad. I don’t want to be away from him. But I don’t think he really cares.Leo’s life would be better if I wasn’t in it. He wouldn’t be bullied or have to hide our friendship.I’ve been talking to some other kids. They’re interesting. I like hanging out with them. Except my mind goes back to this over and over. Sometimes I even think everyone would have it easier without me. Mom and dad say it’s not true. I’ll go on walks with mom to clear my head. Dad draws with me once in a while so I feel less lonely. I still think I make things harder for them.I’m tired, and I don’t want to keep being in pain. Maybe we were too close. But why can’t we be?