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“Yeah.”I smile.You stand closeyour arms are strongenough, at least.Hands bigenoughrough enougha Repin of enough and reallyif I had to be honestyou aren’t much my type but there’s a way your jaw sets and you have squareness and your eyes are the right kind of sweetI reach out to youwhisper something through loud music.I think it’s what we talked about earlier, political nuance, you didn’t try to feel out what I wanted to hear.No poverty of chance(a girl who looks like me does not go hungry)but worthy hides.“I want it.” I tell you.And you want to askare you drunk?high?Kinda.Smile.Sober enough.Your cheek is rough from stubble and I like it, you see the way I sit and watch, I am beautiful(vanity is native to the species)long in the right placesmilk skinbrown eyeswhite stockingswhite Madelinescurvesheavy softened curls, black and tipped with memory of a bleach jobthe sundress is cute. Cotton tufts white fireworks on yellow.Your thumb explores my jaw and I show you pride stippled under blush. Bass drones downstairs and you wear an okay bluish suit and it’s clear you come with some kind of vague protest and wonder why you didn’t want to now.It’s been niceyour body feels looselimp for all the tensionsmileit’s a borrowed bedroomwe are old enough to know betterthis is why nobody cares, a couple of queers make out on the bedspread looking like a bad Christmas sweater and youdon’t really think that much about itspice of their cologne off yuppie suitshow my body is ripe-hot and they make ample room in self-contained touch.I push you on your backrun white tips of clear-coated nails down your chest.Your black shirt is button-down, opens easy, polished brown underneath.Your jacket slides off and your skin is hot and I like it.You breathe honest up at meyou look grateful the way I think you should be.I chooseyou think it goes by nature but instead you really do stopthinkyou moan vague protests thisit’s not like youyou usually get to know a(lay)and I breathe in your ear I think it’s sweet.Lickroll my tongue in the shell and coax a little giggle out of your chest.You’re hard(you really weren’t expecting this, you twitch in your slacks, the music in this room is by resonance and heavy breathing)I wonder sometimes why I want it at allwonder if it ever is supposed to run dryyou can sprint a marathon and never want to stop(I confess to you when my knees ring your hips, when I pull your hands up my dress and any time you can stop)I tell you I know you’ll be the eleventh guy I sleep with this week.It’s a Wednesday.I want you to know.Your fingers find mesoftslipperyyou knowlaugh a little.They slide inside easymy teeth wrap your bottom lip and I pull and you gasp when other guys growl or just look at me with some vague betrayal.You pitch closeI whisper I think you’re a sub, too, and you laugh a little and give me your tongue.I kisssubmityour left hand roams over my ass’ peach, you twist your right’s fingers into me hot and greasy, you peel breath out of my lungs, you want to tell meso you doyou don’t know if you’re technically broken upit hits you suddenyou’re sureexceptthings have to be inkedbut you don’treally like him anyway, you wondered what a girl feels like, you’remostly gay but shitandyour eyes are shy and my makeup is bright and clean and my lips are purple-pink unkissed before you today even if this is not true of everything.It’s hard to explainreallythe way an old friend’s smile is enough to shock the world into pattern and his body is all meat and he is gentle with me in a strange way, he goes in easy because last night still drips.He kisses the back of my neck and when he comes it’s all shaky and fans warm across my stomach from the inside.And now you feel it, oozy-thick, a strong man’s cum and KY.I think part of why I want you is you don’t look the type.You know femininity comes by needle-Socratic to apt studentmy clit is longer than your cock(not thicker, at least, you’re deep and wide and you don’t know how to worm your way out of my huge eyes and you slather yourself with lube from my bag and you know you don’t have all the time left in the night that’s turned to the special haunted feeling of eleven)my ass is hugeJesusI have absmy breasts are bigeyes pink-cuteI kiss yousinkyou guide yourself and if you ever pretended don’t anymore.You slidethe sound is wet and feels like a dropped plunger and my eyes go big because you’re long enoughthick enoughthat perfect-pinch kind of instant orgasm and your face is pretty instead of savage and I can’t think uncharitable things about it because you’re made of wax and I lick your lips and you movemove the right-wrong waydare to follow hard rhythms and squeeze my ass and it’s steamy-hot inside and I clench around youcurl by ritual except you bring heresy.You’re bolt-ytreat the moment with animal pang and evolutionpush your whole world into samba.And I moansincereeyes hugeI wilt close and smile and tell you with a cross-eyed kind of happiness that looks like a weird dream about a ninth-grade science teacher who looked like me.You breathe gin and lime collins and the joint I quarter-finished and I come for youloudthe queers look(pretend they don’t)and you know you’re mostly naked but not totally and you unfasten the dress’ knot at the nape of my neck like you’re gonna make it equal and my breasts spill out over its splay and they are bigbounce when you slap my hips and let my body swing.You voice is a groanyou slam my spot the right way, silvery-sloppy-wet.I feel my belly jump every timegroangaspdip my tongue in your mouth and let you feel how good my dental work is(a chip on the front tooth, it’s from a kiss of all things)taste places you don’t expect.It feelschildishthe way you go at me(it feels all four-color, find a girl’s tonsils(I always loved backseats)swallow shared spit that tastes warm and steely.I eat your voicesmileyou make me feel overstuffed and balance me just right and jackrabbit and drop my jaw and my whole face and you know it right awayhow muchhow hardmy clit’s trapped between usgeiger counter strainsyou know you’ll never see me again(do you even want my name?)You pump mewhispergood girlgod, it’s so fuckin’ hot inside you.I submit.You slam my spot again and again and again and do it just right and make my tits shake and my breath die.I beg for you.Make me come againagainalways renegotiate that perfect peak.You smileI show you I love to dancegive you the same stupid blank cheshire.Whimperpreeneverything good and sweet in the worldhot like a laundromat on a ninety-degree day with the doors openfeversickheatstrokemy heartbeat is realwasp waistwide hipsstrongyou dig deep.I screamyou find the perfect time to steady me and sprint.You know you’re closemy body shakesmy face is blank.You show me the greasy spoon is gourmet.I smile in your eyes and you know it, tooblood threatens to popyour cork does insteadJesusthe pent-upthickyou splatter meweld our hipsfuckfuckfuckfuckyou let it all outyour eyes are deadand mine.You want to say I love you out of habit and instead you just snag your fingers in my long hair and pullencourageyou want to see my face and you do when I make a sound like a sob and you don’t know what’s happened really while you empty yourself in me and it feels like you’re turning everything inside-out and you feel it get hotter and wetter and grind it all out with the last few slow pumpsand you stopand move again a few times and my face tightens and I look like I want to cry.Everything is pink-gold and sparkles like glitter.You swallow.You’re still hard.“Yeah.” I smile.
