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Joshua awoke with a sense that something was amiss. It wasn't the lingering pain in his back or the soreness indicating that he was fucked good last night, nor was it the fact that it was already 9 a.m. on a weekday and he was still in bed. Rather, it was the unexpected warmth beside him, the firm yet gentle grip around his waist, and the hot breath against his neck. Panic initially set in, but the familiar scent of YSL perfume mixed with the unmistakable essence of Yoon Jeonghan quickly soothed him.With great difficulty, Joshua turned to face the sleeping man beside him, who mumbled incoherently but remained sound asleep. He shouldn't have been so surprised; Jeonghan was in his bed almost every night, but never in the morning. Early on in their arrangement, Joshua had asked Jeonghan why he always left right after, adding that he wouldn't mind if he stayed."We're just fucking; I don't want to inconvenience you more than that," Jeonghan had replied nonchalantly while putting on his shirt. Joshua recalled withdrawing his reaching hand, masking his disappointment with a forced chuckle as a weight settled in his chest.So this-Jeonghan being with him the morning after, Jeonghan in his bed-made Joshua giddy, with the small, delusional part of his brain working overtime. The moment he had been longing for since their friends-with-benefits arrangement began was finally happening. And God, Yoon Jeonghan asleep was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.Letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, Joshua made himself more comfortable, reminding himself not to stare too intently. If the sleeping man woke up suddenly and saw Joshua gazing at him fondly, he would definitely call off the arrangement. Joshua's heart ached at the thought, knowing he had to maintain the casual façade despite the depth of his feelings. The vulnerability of the moment was intoxicating, but he had to tread carefully, cherishing the rare morning with Jeonghan while guarding his emotions.Seeing Jeonghan stir, Joshua quickly got up, making his head spin. Letting out a groan, he held his head in his hand, only to hear a deep chuckle from behind him."Nice back," Jeonghan wolf-whistled, reminding Joshua that he was completely naked under the blanket. Blushing even more at Jeonghan's remark, memories of last night flooded his mind.Jeonghan had brought over his sister's lipstick, mentioning that he wanted to fuck Joshua while he wore it. At first, Joshua refused-not because he was unwilling, but because he feared Jeonghan might be trying to feminize him for his own comfort. However, as always, Jeonghan managed to persuade him, explaining that he wanted to see Joshua in the lipstick and had carefully chosen a color to complement Joshua's already irresistible lips.Sometime late in night as Joshua was deep in pleasure with Jeonghan deep in him, he struggled to open his eyes amidst the overwhelming bliss. When he finally managed, he slurred out a request to see Jeonghan wearing lipstick too. Jeonghan, after some playful teasing, was quick to comply. He swiftly changed their position so that Joshua's back was against his chest, then began placing kiss marks all over Joshua's back, satisfying his possessive desire."Is it still there?" Joshua asked, his voice slightly muffled by his hand, embarrassed."I didn't realize my lips could look so enticing-or perhaps it's just your back," Jeonghan replied, deliberately ignoring the question as he stretched languidly. Joshua could hear the smirk in his voice."How can you be this infuriating right after waking up?" Joshua groaned, searching for his clothes. Finding nothing nearby, he grabbed a large white shirt that lay near his foot and slipped it on.Jeonghan watched him with amused eyes, the morning light casting a soft glow on their tousled forms. "You know," he said, his tone playful yet tender, "you look quite fetching in my shirt. Maybe I should stay over more often."Joshua rolled his eyes, but he couldn't suppress a small smile and the glimmer of hope that flickered within him. "You're impossible," he muttered, still feeling exposed even after putting on the shirt, as Jeonghan's gaze lingered on him.Jeonghan's eyes softened as he rose from his starfish position and moved closer, brushing a strand of hair away from Joshua's face. "And yet, you can't seem to get rid of me," he murmured, his voice a blend of teasing and sincerity. The intimacy of the moment hung between them, fragile yet profound, as the morning light continued to unfold."Breakfast?" Joshua asked in a small voice, avoiding Jeonghan's eyes. Perhaps it was for the best that Jeonghan usually left the night before; Joshua wasn't sure how he could navigate this tenderness without doing something foolish."Aren't you a darling?" Jeonghan whispered, his tone laced with agreement. He watched Joshua with intent eyes, waiting to see if he would move, the anticipation thickening the air between them.Joshua hesitated, then finally stood, feeling the weight of Jeonghan's gaze on him. He couldn't help but smile, a mix of shyness and warmth, as he made his way to the bathroom. Turning around to ask what Jeonghan would like, he was stopped in his tracks when he bumped into a firm, naked chest."What-why are you following me into the bathroom?" Joshua questioned, gathering himself. Jeonghan put on an innocent face, though the grin on his lips was anything but."I thought you were offering breakfast," Jeonghan replied, his tone laden with insinuation. Understanding what Jeonghan was implying, Joshua's cheeks burned, and his ears turned red. Flustered, he pushed Jeonghan away, mumbling angrily about how Jeonghan wasn't getting any breakfast now. He slammed the bathroom door shut, ignoring Jeonghan's mock whining about still being naked and cold.Inside the bathroom, Joshua took a deep breath, his heart racing. The intensity of their connection, the playful yet serious undertones, made his pulse quicken. He splashed water on his face, trying to calm the flurry of emotions. Outside, he could hear Jeonghan's soft laughter, a sound that was both comforting and maddening. It drove Joshua crazy that Jeonghan did all of this without realizing the impact it had on him. The playful teasing and intimate gestures were excruciating, knowing that for Jeonghan, it was all just a joke or merely something sexual. Joshua's heart ached with the weight of unspoken feelings, trapped in the uncertainty of their connection.Jeonghan, still grinning, leaned against the door, savoring the playful banter. He sensed the genuine reactions from Joshua and found them endearing, deepening his affection and respect. Despite the teasing, he always looked forward to their interactions, valuing the underlying connection."Come on, Joshua," Jeonghan called softly. "You can't hide in there forever, or your feelings for me."Joshua's heart sank, the lightness in his mood fading. "Just give me a minute," he replied, his voice muffled and lacking its earlier spark."Take your time," Jeonghan said, his tone now gentler as he sensed Joshua's sadness through his quietness. "I'll be here."As the morning unfolded, it was marked by unspoken words and a half-eaten breakfast.☆"Are you coming tonight?" Seungcheol asked Joshua, who was struggling to resist the urge to throw his laptop across the room. He knew the café's staff and patrons wouldn't appreciate the commotion, and as a struggling university student, he couldn't afford to replace his costly laptop if it were damaged. "This thesis just isn't coming together," Joshua muttered, glancing at Seungcheol with a disinterested "mhm." He knew Seungcheol would sulk if ignored, a predictable reaction from the older man."I asked if you're coming tonight," Seungcheol repeated, reaching over to play with Joshua's right hand. Joshua pulled his hand away, pushing his hair back and aggressively deleting the text on the screen."Why are you so moody?" Seungcheol said, and Joshua was certain that if he looked up, he would see Seungcheol pouting."I'm not moody, just stressed. And you going on about this stupid party isn't helping. Don't you have something you need to work on too?" Joshua snapped, exasperated."Maybe this 'stupid party' would actually help you," Seungcheol retorted, childishly scoffing as he leaned back in his chair. "Someone giving you a good time might stop you from acting like such a bitch."Choosing to ignore his sulky friend, Joshua watched as Seungcheol's face instantly brightened. Joshua was puzzled until the cause became clear with the loud bickering of Seungkwan and Seokmin drawing near. Their animated argument approached with increasing volume, disrupting the café's ambiance and providing a welcome distraction from Joshua's mounting frustration. Realizing he wouldn't accomplish much in his current state, Joshua closed his laptop, carefully stowing it in his bag before trying to relax, wary of the rowdy group."Cheol-hyung, you have to pick up Seungkwan and me, okay?" Seokmin's chirpy voice filled the space as he sat next to Joshua, beaming at him."Isn't Jeonghan picking you up?" Seungcheol asked, eliciting a shrug from Seokmin and a shake of the head from Seungkwan."Is Jeonghan picking you up, Shua?" Seungcheol inquired, causing all three heads to turn towards him.Sitting up straight, Joshua shook his head in response, not wanting to discuss it further, especially with the bile rising in his throat. Just three days earlier, he had seen Jeonghan with a girl, their closeness suggesting more than friendship, right after Jeonghan had spent the morning with him. Since then, Joshua had been avoiding him.This pattern was all too familiar: Joshua and Jeonghan would hook up frequently, Jeonghan would then start dating someone else, and Joshua would ignore him. They would meet again at mutual friends' gatherings, and the cycle would begin anew. Despite his intentions to end the arrangement and avoid Jeonghan, Joshua's judgment faltered when it came to his own emotions, leaving him stuck in a cycle he couldn't seem to break. Because he would rather have some of Jeonghan than none.It wasn't as though he would become a stranger in Jeonghan's life if they ended their arrangement; they had been good friends before this, and their shared friend group ensured they would see each other. Yet, Joshua's selfishness and masochistic tendencies kept him trapped in the cycle, unable to let go despite knowing the pain it caused him. Joshua found a twisted satisfaction in the fact that Jeonghan would always return to him after being with multiple people. There was a grim pleasure in seeing how Jeonghan, known for his laid-back and lethargic demeanor, would become unexpectedly proactive, eager to drop or pick him up whenever needed. Joshua cherished the small gestures-how Jeonghan would always bring something during their encounters outside the bedroom, claiming they reminded him of Joshua. He appreciated how Jeonghan knew things about him that even he had forgotten, the subtle touches, and the shared laughter over the strangest things.These acts, though tinged with a hint of possessiveness, fueled Joshua's complicated feelings. He found solace in the way Jeonghan's presence filled the void, even as it caused him pain. The way Jeonghan would look at him, with a mixture of familiarity and affection, made Joshua feel special, albeit in a fractured, painful way. Despite the heartache, Joshua clung to these moments, unable to let go of the one person who made him feel seen, even if it was only part of the time."Shua-hyung usually leaves with hyung, not arrives," Seungkwan added unnecessarily, a smirk playing on his lips as he elicited a snort from Seungcheol. Before Joshua could retort, ready to tease Seungkwan about his not-so-subtle crush on Vernon, a deep, soft voice filled with what Joshua could perceive as jealousy interrupted."Shua leaves with whom?"Joshua turned to see Jeonghan standing there, his eyes fixed on him with an intensity that made Joshua's heart skip a beat. The casual banter around them seemed to fade into the background, leaving only the unspoken tension between them.Shit, shit, shit, why is he here? He's not supposed to be here, Joshua's brain unhelpfully supplied. Quickly breaking eye contact with Jeonghan to avoid looking like an idiot, he reached for his drink, only to find it empty. Seungcheol's iced tea was bitter, but with Seungcheol's whining and Jeonghan's intense gaze, it almost tasted sweet."Shuaaaa, I was going to drink that! I even offered you a second drink, but you ignored me," Seungcheol pouted, his expression deepening when Jeonghan suddenly grabbed his shirt."Get up," Jeonghan commanded, tugging Seungcheol upright."I could have just scooted over," Seungcheol muttered, annoyed, but he stood nonetheless, allowing Jeonghan to slide into the seat directly in front of Joshua.Joshua's heart raced as Jeonghan settled in, the tension palpable. He felt cornered, the presence of his friends amplifying his anxiety. Jeonghan's proximity and gaze made it difficult to focus, and he found himself hyper-aware of every movement and glance."You guys didn't answer my question," Jeonghan said, leaning back against the chair, glancing at Seungkwan who just rolled his eyes, used to his hyung acting like this whenever Joshua was involved."We don't have to. Don't you have practice?" Seungkwan retorted. "No one wants you here, Shua-hyung definitely does not want you here." Seungkwan complained, mostly jokingly, but he did not need to know how true that was for Joshua. This was the first time during all the ignoring phases that Joshua had to confront Jeonghan. Usually, it would last a week at most, and then their first communication in a while would be through their bodies, not words. "Hey," Jeonghan said softly, his voice a mix of concern and something Joshua couldn't quite decipher. "You okay?"Joshua forced a smile, nodding slightly. "Yeah, just stressed about my thesis," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.Jeonghan's gaze softened, and he hesitantly reached out, placing a reassuring pat on Joshua's head. "You've got this. I believe in you."The simple gesture and words of encouragement made Joshua's heart ache. It was moments like these that made it so difficult to distance himself, even though he knew he should. The sincerity in Jeonghan's eyes, the warmth of his touch, and the comfort of his words made Joshua's resolve waver. He wished he could believe that these moments meant more than just fleeting kindness, but the reality of their situation always loomed over him."Thanks," Joshua managed to say, trying to keep his voice steady. "I appreciate it."Jeonghan's hand lingered for a moment before he pulled away, leaning back in his chair. Seokmin interjected, "So, about tonight. Are you guys coming or not? I plan on challenging Mingyu to a drink-off battle."A chorus of yeses filled the air, along with Seungcheol's confident "Count me in the challenge." All eyes turned to Joshua.Joshua hesitated, glancing around at his friends. Seungcheol watched him with an expectant look, Seungkwan still pouting, and Seokmin offering an encouraging smile. He knew that attending the party could be a way to temporarily escape his stress, but the thought of being around Jeonghan in a social setting, with all the unresolved tension between them, made him anxious.Usually, he would agree, knowing the usual outcome. But now, seeing Jeonghan before him, glowing and as handsome as ever, seemingly unaffected, Joshua found himself uncertain of what he wanted."I don't know," Joshua finally said, his voice uncertain. "I have a lot of work to do, and I'm not sure if I can handle a party right now."Jeonghan's expression shifted slightly, a hint of disappointment flickering in his eyes. "Well, if you change your mind," he said, his tone more subdued, "just let me know."As the group continued to chat and tease each other, Joshua's mind remained preoccupied with the interaction. He couldn't help but feel a pang of regret for not being able to fully enjoy the camaraderie of his friends, all because of the complicated feelings he harbored for Jeonghan.☆"Why aren't you going again? I thought there was this unspoken, mutually understood agreement between you and Jeonghan hyung that after his inevitable breakups, you'd meet at a party and... well, you know," Minghao said, glancing at Joshua, who was pacing around his room.Joshua stopped and stared at Minghao with such intensity, biting his lips and looking frantic. "Should I stop it?"Seeing how distressed and serious Joshua looked, Minghao sat up, feeling bad for his dear hyung, who had done nothing wrong except enter a foolish agreement with Jeonghan, the very person he was in love with. Minghao knew that Joshua understood the end results would never be what he hoped for but now the reality of it was settling in more."Stop what, hyung?" Minghao asked softly, gently grabbing Joshua's hand and guiding him to sit on the bed beside him."Whatever Jeonghan and I have going on now," Joshua began, his voice trembling. "I've been thinking about it for a while because... Myungho, it hurts. It hurts so much more because it's not his fault, and I could never hate him, not even if I tried. Not even if I wanted to because he's always there, smiling, being the charming person he is. And I agreed to this, knowing the circumstances, but I had hope. I was a fool to have hope. At some point, having him in my bed at night but never in my arms, never fully in my life, at least not the way I want, was not enough for me. Never being his, because I was always his."His voice completely flattering at the end. Joshua broke down, sobbing, the weight of his unspoken feelings finally overwhelming him.Minghao, not knowing how to comfort his always composed hyung, just held the shattered man in his arms, shushing him and patting his back comfortingly."Is it wrong for me to still want him? Is it wrong that I want to go to the party so badly so I could just fall into his arms? Is it bad that I am never satisfied with what we have but I still want it because it is the only time when I can pretend he is mine?" Joshua sniffled, his words mumbled against Minghao's shoulder."It's not wrong," Minghao started hesitantly, "but it's not the proper way. It's hurting you, and only you. But knowing Jeonghan hyung, his arms will always be open for you to fall into."Joshua's sobs quieted as Minghao's words sank in. The room was filled with a heavy silence, broken only by the sound of Joshua's uneven breathing. Minghao continued to hold him, offering the only comfort he could, hoping that somehow, Joshua would see that it did not affect only him but Jeonghan as well."Hyung," Minghao began softly, "I know it's hard. But you have to think about what you really want and what you deserve. You deserve more than just fleeting moments. You deserve someone who can give you their whole heart."Joshua nodded slightly, his breathing slowly steadying. "I know," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. "But it's so hard to let go when every moment with him feels like everything I've ever wanted."Minghao tightened his embrace, wishing he could take away Joshua's pain. "I understand, but holding on to something that hurts you will only make it harder. You have to find the strength to either talk to him about how you really feel or to move on. You deserve to be happy, hyung."Joshua took a deep breath, trying to gather his scattered thoughts. "I just don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can face him and tell him how I feel, or if I can walk away from him.""You don't have to decide right now," Minghao said gently. "Take your time, but remember that your happiness matters too. And no matter what happens, Jeonghan hyung will always still be your friend." Joshua managed a small, grateful smile through his tears. "Thank you, Myungho. I don't know what I'd do without you and your wisdom.""You don't have to find out," Minghao replied, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "My wisdom is always open for you."As the heavy silence settled once more, Joshua felt a tiny bit better knowing that at least he would always have Jeonghan, in some way or another.☆Jeonghan sprawled on the sofa in his shared dorm with Seungkwan, muttering about the pounding headache he had."Don’t you have a high alcohol tolerance? Why did you drink so much?" Seungkwan asked, picking up the discarded clothes and tossing them into the laundry basket."Why are you cleaning? Don’t tell me Hansolie is coming over," Jeonghan teased.Seungkwan rolled his eyes. "Don’t tell me you’re still sulking over Shua hyung not coming to the party yesterday and ignoring your texts.""Don’t remind me," Jeonghan sighed dramatically. "He used to make sure I drank water and took hangover medicine before we got... well, before we did anything. I always woke up without a headache and feeling satisfied. I miss my Shua.""He isn’t yours, hyung. Can’t you act like the grown man you claim to be?" Seungkwan said, plopping down on the couch beside Jeonghan, who raised an eyebrow in question."A man," Seungkwan clarified. "This nonsense has to stop. I don’t care about your drama, but I do care about Shua hyung. Leaving after having sex with him to lessen your guilt isn’t cool at all. Dont be so selfish. ""I leave because I don’t want to burden him," Jeonghan said stubbornly.Seungkwan rolled his eyes. "And then you get a girlfriend right after the one time you decided to stay over because you couldn’t handle how domestic it was, and how you’ll never have that with him or so you think.""Or so I think? What does that mean?" Jeonghan asked, sitting up with sudden energy."From everything I’ve said, that’s what you pick up?""Just be a good dongsaeng and tell your favorite hyungie.""You aren’t my favorite hyungie. And ew, what is ‘hyungie’?" Seungkwan retorted.Before Jeonghan could respond, the doorbell rang, followed by a notification chime from his phone. Seungkwan rushed to answer the door, eager not to keep Vernon waiting. Meanwhile, Jeonghan snatched up his phone, hoping for a text from Joshua. He found one, but it wasn’t what he had hoped for.Without a word, Jeonghan dashed past Vernon, who had just walked in, and out the door.
“We should end this,” the message read.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Joshua sat in his room, the soft glow from his phone screen casting delicate shadows on his face. His heart raced as he stared at the message he’d sent to Jeonghan, the words feeling unbearably heavy, as if they marked the end of something precious. He ran a trembling hand through his hair, trying to steady his uneven breaths, while each passing minute felt like an eternity.His phone buzzed, causing his heart to leap in his chest. It wasn’t a message, but a call. The name flashing on the screen made his stomach twist. Jeonghan. Hesitating, his fingers hovered over the answer button, torn between the urge to avoid the confrontation and the knowledge that he couldn’t. Taking a deep breath, he pressed ‘accept’ and brought the phone to his ear.“Hello?” His voice barely rose above a whisper.“Joshua,” Jeonghan’s voice was thick with urgency, “please, don’t do this. Not without telling me why. We need to talk.”Joshua swallowed hard, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. “There’s nothing left to talk about, Jeonghan. This—whatever this is—it’s meant to end eventually… I just can’t do it anymore.”A heavy silence followed, and Joshua could almost hear Jeonghan’s thoughts racing. Finally, Jeonghan spoke, his voice quieter but no less intense. “I’m outside your building. Please, can I come up? Just for a little while, until I’m not wanted anymore.”Joshua’s resolve wavered. Despite everything, it was difficult to refuse Jeonghan anything. He almost wanted to say, “You will always be wanted, and that’s the problem,” but instead, he said, “Fine, but just for a few minutes. I have to be somewhere.”Hanging up, Joshua stood and began to pace the room, his anxiety mounting with each step. He didn’t actually have anywhere to be, but in case the conversation became too much, he wanted an escape route. Moments later, he heard a knock on the door, and his heart clenched. Taking another deep breath, he walked over and opened it, revealing a disheveled, breathless Jeonghan.Jeonghan stepped inside, his eyes locking onto Joshua’s. He moved closer but stopped when he noticed Joshua flinch. “I don’t want to lose you,” Jeonghan said, his voice raw with emotion. “I know I’ve messed up, and I know I’ve hurt you, but please, give me a chance to explain.”You’re not losing me, Jeonghan… not as a friend,” Joshua said softly, his throat burning and tears welling up. He felt a mixture of relief that Jeonghan cared so deeply about their friendship, but also a deep sadness that friendship seemed to be all Jeonghan cared about.“No, no, Shua, you’re misunderstanding me. I don’t get it—what happened? Did I do something wrong?” Jeonghan asked, his voice filled with desperation.“No—” Joshua began, but he was cut off as Jeonghan suddenly loomed over him, his voice dropping to a soft, raspy whisper. “Did you find someone else?”Joshua crossed his arms, trying to maintain some semblance of distance. “No, Jeonghan. No to all of it. Just… let’s end this,” he said, his voice firmer than he felt, though it faltered by the end.For a moment, neither of them spoke. Joshua considered walking away, but then Jeonghan suddenly sank to the floor, squatting in front of him.“Han—”Jeonghan took a deep breath, his voice trembling as he spoke. “I leave because I’m scared, Joshua.” He looked up, seeing the shock on Joshua’s face, and continued, “I’m scared of what I feel for you. Every time I’m with you, it’s like I lose control. I try to tell myself it’s just physical, but it’s so much more than that, and it terrifies me.”Joshua’s eyes widened as the anger and hurt he’d been holding onto began to soften, though a flash of anger surged through him. “Then why date other people? Why put me through all this again and again? Why didn’t you just confess?”Jeonghan looked down, guilt weighing heavily on his expression. “I thought if I found someone else, it might be easier. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so much for you. But every time, I ended up missing you more. And confess? You never showed any interest in me. I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”Joshua shook his head, frustration bubbling up again. “You can’t keep doing this to me, Jeonghan. It’s not fair. I can’t keep being your fallback. And what feelings was I supposed to show for a friend who never stays?”Jeonghan stood up, stepping closer, his eyes pleading. “I don’t want you to be my fallback. I want you to be my everything. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that, but I’m here now, and I want to make things right. Please, Joshua, give me one more chance. Just tell me you feel the same way.”Joshua’s heart ached at the sincerity in Jeonghan’s eyes. He wanted to believe him, to believe that things could be different, but the fear of getting hurt again loomed large. “How do I know this time will be different? How do I know what you feel is the same as what I feel?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.Jeonghan reached out, gently cupping Joshua’s face. “Because I’m not leaving anymore. I’m here, and I’m ready to face whatever comes, as long as it’s with you. I won’t rush you, but I just need you to know and hear this, Shuji.”He leaned in close, his forehead resting against Joshua’s, his voice soft and intimate. “I never imagined my confession would be like this, but I’ll make up for it. I feel something so raw and real for you, Hong Joshua Jisoo, and it scared me at first. But losing you scares me even more. Please, give me a chance.”Tears welled up in Joshua’s eyes as he took a shaky breath. “Okay,” he whispered. “But this is your last chance, Jeonghan.” He placed his hand over Jeonghan’s, which was still cupping his cheek. “And by the way, both your confessions were terrible.”Jeonghan chuckled, relief flooding his features as a smile spread across his face. “I promise, Joshua. I won’t let you down.”As they stood there, the weight of their past mistakes hanging in the air, Joshua felt a flicker of hope. Maybe, just maybe, they could find a way to make this work. ☆ They could make it work, Joshua believed that, but only if he had a moment alone to figure out his own emotions too. Before, he had longed for Jeonghan’s presence, but now he found himself wishing Jeonghan would leave him alone—at least for five minutes. The irony was that after those five minutes, Joshua would inevitably long for Jeonghan again.Seungkwan had witnessed this firsthand. Joshua had once shown up at the dorm that Jeonghan and Seungkwan shared after Jeonghan had promised to court him properly. When Joshua asked Jeonghan for some space, Jeonghan had pouted but eventually left to play video games after a stern “Hyung, just go,” from Seungkwan. However, within half an hour, Joshua found himself slipping back into Jeonghan’s room. The loud screeching from Seungcheol, who was almost in tears as he admonished Jeonghan to focus on the game, could be heard even as Jeonghan giggled with Joshua.Jeonghan seemed to think that Joshua agreeing to give him a chance was a green light to act like a possessive, clingy, know-it-all boyfriend—even though he wasn’t officially the boyfriend yet. He seized every opportunity to be around Joshua, to know every detail of his day, and to involve himself in every aspect of Joshua’s life. It was as if Jeonghan believed that by showing Joshua his unwavering devotion, he could make up for all the times he had hurt him.But for Joshua, it was overwhelming. He needed time to process his own feelings, to heal from the emotional rollercoaster their relationship had been. He found solace in moments of solitude, yet those moments were fleeting because the pull toward Jeonghan was undeniable. Even when he asked Jeonghan for space, he found himself gravitating back to him sooner than expected.One evening, after another heartfelt conversation with Jeonghan—this time sparked by Jeonghan’s jealousy over a classmate Joshua had been working with on a project—Joshua felt the familiar need for a break. “Jeonghan, I just need some time alone,” he said softly, hoping not to hurt his feelings.Jeonghan looked at him, his eyes a mix of concern and understanding. “Alright, I’ll give you space,” he replied, though his reluctance was palpable.As Jeonghan left, Joshua sighed in relief, savoring the quiet. But it didn’t last long. Within minutes, he was already thinking about Jeonghan, missing his presence, his laughter, his touch. It was a confusing blend of wanting space and wanting Jeonghan. He was even frustrated with himself because the person he always wanted was now giving himself wholly to Joshua, yet Joshua was rejecting it.Back at the shared dorm with Minghao, Joshua’s internal struggle was on full display. Minghao watched as Joshua paced the room, trying desperately to focus on anything other than the overwhelming thoughts of Jeonghan. But, inevitably, no matter how hard he tried, Joshua always found himself drawn back to him. It happened so often that everyone began to expect it.One evening, after the “break” conversation, all their friends, including Jeonghan, went out for drinks. Joshua, who stayed behind, fearing what he might do or say under the influence, found himself wandering to Seungkwan’s door. Seungkwan, who also chose to stay in, opened the door to find Joshua standing there, looking lost and conflicted. “I miss him,” Joshua confessed, his voice heavy with frustration.Seungkwan sighed, shaking his head in resignation. “You two are hopeless,” he muttered, though there was a fond smile tugging at his lips. He knew Joshua and Jeonghan shared something special, even if it was complicated and messy.Later that night, Jeonghan’s voice echoed from the living room, announcing his return home. He was accompanied by Seungcheol, who was scolding him for talking about Joshua so much that Seungcheol claimed he felt completely sober despite the amount of alcohol he had consumed.“Why don’t you just reach out to him?” Seungcheol asked, exasperated.“Because he needs a break, and I want to respect that,” Jeonghan replied, his tone a mix of sulkiness and resolve. “I also want him to know that I’m ready to wait, however long it takes. But honestly, you’ve made me miss him even more,” he added, his voice dipping into a pout.“No, you talked about Shua so much that I’m the one missing him now,” Seungcheol shot back, leading to a nonsensical argument between the two.Joshua, overhearing the conversation, found himself laughing through the tears that had welled up in his eyes. Jeonghan was trying—trying for him—and that meant the world to him.They both knew this journey wouldn’t be easy. Jeonghan had to learn to give Joshua the space he needed, to show him that he was serious and committed. Joshua, on the other hand, had to find a way to balance his need for solitude with his deep longing for Jeonghan. He also needed to overcome the fear that Jeonghan’s sudden declarations were just a desperate attempt to hold onto him. But amidst the chaos, there was hope. They were willing to fight for each other, to make it work, because deep down, they both knew that what they had was worth it.One thing that particularly amused Joshua was how easily Jeonghan’s jealousy could be provoked.For example, when Joshua was frequently meeting up with a fellow literature student for a project, Jeonghan would often appear at their study locations, pretending it was just a coincidence. He’d always bring Seungcheol or Soonyoung along, and Joshua still wonders how Jeonghan always managed to find out where they were.Then Jeonghan started offering to drop Joshua and his study partner off, always positioning himself between them and keeping Joshua close by. He insisted on picking Joshua up after their meetings as well.Eventually, Jeonghan began accompanying them during their study sessions, sitting right beside Joshua and glaring at the other guy while feeding Joshua bites of carrot cake. Joshua could only lower his head in embarrassment, but he secretly enjoyed the attention.Joshua never quite figured out what Jeonghan did to intimidate the poor guy, but one day, he received a text from his study partner suggesting that they divide the work and compile it separately. The message also included an apology for offending Joshua’s “boyfriend,” which Joshua could only assume referred to Jeonghan. When Joshua brought this up, trying to reprimand him, Jeonghan just grinned widely, a smug expression on his face, completely unapologetic.Jeonghan’s possessiveness wasn’t limited to strangers; it extended to their close friends as well. He had a habit of subtly pushing Seungcheol away whenever he got too close to Joshua, or he would sit with a sulky pout, glaring at the younger boys whenever they hogged Joshua’s attention. The intensity of his jealousy was almost endearing, though it often left Joshua both amused and a little exasperated.One day, in a moment of giddy amusement, Joshua mentioned Jeonghan’s behavior to Chan, expecting a light-hearted response. But Chan, ever blunt, had simply replied, “He’s always been like this, hyung. Worse, actually. You just didn’t notice—you were too busy wallowing in self-pity.” Chan's straightforwardness took Joshua aback, the words landing with unexpected weight. “When did you get so mean, Channie?” Joshua asked, trying to deflect his surprise by poking the younger man’s cheek.But Chan, unamused, gently pushed Joshua’s hand away. “Do us all a favor and just talk to Han hyung. He’s infuriating without you,” he said, his tone carrying an undercurrent of frustration that Joshua couldn’t ignore.Chan’s words lingered with Joshua, planting a seed of realization. He started to see how much Jeonghan’s behavior had affected not just him but everyone around them. The tension, the longing, the unspoken words—it was clear that their unresolved feelings were creating ripples in their friend group.So, after two long months since Jeonghan’s heartfelt confession, and one week and five days since Joshua had requested a break to sort out his emotions, Joshua finally made up his mind. The uncertainty and hesitation had weighed on him long enough. It was time to have that much-needed conversation with Jeonghan. Maybe, just maybe, it was time to take that final step and make Jeonghan his official boyfriend. The thought filled him with a mix of anxiety and excitement, but above all, there was a sense of rightness about it. Joshua realized that he had been fighting the inevitable—Jeonghan wasn’t just a part of his life; he was the part that mattered most. ☆ Joshua hadn’t thought it through entirely, but when he heard from the ever-gossipy Seungkwan that Jeonghan was going to be at a party, a spontaneous plan formed in his mind. Confessing his feelings there seemed like a good idea—at least initially. That confidence wavered when he shared the plan with Minghao, who had promptly given him the nastiest look imaginable. Joshua knew it wasn’t the most ideal setting. But he also knew he couldn’t just text or call Jeonghan after being the one who insisted on keeping his distance. Besides, Jeonghan had already proven that he genuinely cared about him, so maybe Joshua could pull this off. He figured they could save the serious discussion for a more suitable environment later. As odd as it was, there was a certain symmetry to the idea—their friends-with-benefits arrangement had begun at the same party venue, so it felt like it had a personal touch.Joshua even prepared a cheesy line in his head: "We began here as friends with benefits—how about we leave as lovers with benefits?" Minghao had scoffed, clearly unimpressed by the sentiment, but Joshua felt certain that Jeonghan would find it endearing. He could already imagine Jeonghan giggling at the line, maybe even leaning in to kiss him the way he used to.Joshua was needy too, craving Jeonghan’s touch in a way that no one else could satisfy. Jeonghan had been his sole bed warmer for so long that Joshua couldn’t imagine anyone else fulfilling that role. There was something uniquely intoxicating about the way Jeonghan would hold him by the waist with a blend of gentleness and possessiveness, kissing him as if Joshua were the only source of water in a desert. Jeonghan had a way of marking and worshiping Joshua’s body with a reverence that made Joshua feel like a deity, cherished and adored in every intimate moment they shared.Joshua's need for Jeonghan went beyond just physical desire—it was an emotional and almost spiritual connection that he couldn’t find with anyone else. Jeonghan didn’t just hold him; he anchored him, grounding Joshua in a way that made him feel safe and valued. The way Jeonghan’s fingers would trace the curve of his spine, lingering as if memorizing every detail, or how his lips would press against Joshua’s skin, leaving a trail of heat that lasted long after their encounters, was something Joshua couldn’t easily let go of.Every kiss from Jeonghan was laced with unspoken promises, deep and consuming, as if Jeonghan was drinking in every part of him, not just satisfying a need but fulfilling a longing that ran deep within both of them. And when Jeonghan marked him, it wasn’t just about possession—it was a silent declaration, an unvoiced commitment that resonated in the most primal part of Joshua. Each touch, each whispered breath against his neck, felt like a prayer, a vow that Jeonghan would always come back to him, that Joshua was someone worth returning to, worth holding onto.Joshua knew, in the quiet moments after, when they lay entwined and breathless, that it wasn’t just his body that Jeonghan worshipped—it was his very being. And that was why, no matter how hard he tried to distance himself, no matter how many times he told himself he needed space, Joshua always found himself drawn back to Jeonghan. Because with Jeonghan, it wasn’t just about scratching an itch—it was about being seen, being known, and being loved in a way that no one else could offer him.As Joshua navigated through the pulsating crowd, his heart pounded in sync with the music, heat pooling in his stomach. He finally managed to spot Jeonghan, but his breath caught when he saw him—standing with the same girl he had been dating before this entire ordeal.A wave of emotions crashed over Joshua—betrayal, hurt, and a profound sense of stupidity. He tried to rationalize it, telling himself that it could all be a misunderstanding, but his insecurities overwhelmed him, crashing down with brutal force. He stumbled, the chaotic movements of the drunken crowd jostling him, oblivious to the heartbreak unfolding within him. His vision blurred with unshed tears, but he could still make out the moment when Jeonghan spotted him.Panic surged through him. He quickly turned away, wiping at his tears with a harshness that mirrored his spiraling thoughts. Pushing past the dancing bodies, he tried to escape, tried to lose himself in the noise, hoping it could drown out the sound of Jeonghan calling his name. But the pain was too sharp, too real. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could blur out Jeonghan from his heart, too.Joshua wanted to blame Jeonghan—wanted to rage against the injustice he felt—but a voice inside whispered that he couldn’t. Maybe Jeonghan had grown tired of waiting. Maybe he had realized that Joshua wasn’t worth the effort. The word "maybe" echoed in his mind, a relentless, torturous refrain."Maybe I’m just someone to use, just a convenient fuck buddy," Joshua thought bitterly as he stumbled to a stop outside the crowded venue. He tried to inhale the cool night air, but his lungs felt constricted, his heart clenching painfully in his chest.He leaned heavily against a nearby wall, struggling to regain control of his breathing. He sucked in a harsh breath, squeezing his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to block out the noise, to silence the chaos that threatened to consume him. But it was all too loud, too present, and Joshua felt a crushing loneliness unlike anything he had ever experienced. The acrid smell of smoke wafted from a nearby alley, further heightening his sense of panic, his head pounding with the weight of it all.And then, suddenly, it stopped.He felt himself being pulled into a firm, familiar embrace, a jacket draped over his shoulders with gentle care. Strong arms wrapped around him, holding him close, shielding him from the overwhelming world around them. The noise faded, the panic subsided, replaced by a profound sense of peace and ease—the kind that only Jeonghan’s presence could bring.Joshua's breath hitched as Jeonghan's arms encircled him, grounding him in a way that only Jeonghan could. The world outside that warm embrace faded to a dull hum, and the frantic beating of his heart slowed, as though Jeonghan's touch had the power to steady the chaos within him.Jeonghan’s voice was soft but firm as he spoke, his breath warm against Joshua’s ear. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here.”Joshua struggled to break free from the embrace, his movements jerky and desperate. He gave Jeonghan a slight shove, but Jeonghan held on firmly. “I’m sorry, baby. Just breathe, please,” Jeonghan murmured, his voice soothing.Joshua, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, slumped against Jeonghan, allowing his entire body weight to rest on him. “Just like that,” Jeonghan continued gently, “take deep breaths, honey. Shuji, I’m right here with you.”Joshua wanted to respond, to voice the swirling doubts and fears that had clawed at his mind, but the words stuck in his throat, heavy and unspoken. Instead, he clutched at Jeonghan’s shirt, his fingers twisting in the fabric as if it were the only thing keeping him from falling apart completely. The betrayal he’d felt just moments ago still simmered, raw and festering beneath the surface, but now it was tangled with a desperate need for the comfort that only Jeonghan could provide.“I thought you…” Joshua began, his voice trembling, but he couldn’t finish the sentence. The fear, the accusation—it lodged itself in his chest, refusing to be spoken aloud. Yet somehow, Jeonghan seemed to understand.“Shua, look at me,” Jeonghan murmured, his tone gentle yet insistent. When Joshua finally managed to lift his gaze, he found only concern in Jeonghan’s eyes, a deep, unyielding worry etched into the lines of his face. “Whatever you saw, whatever you’re thinking—it’s not what you imagine.”Joshua’s mind was a storm of conflicting emotions, but the sincerity in Jeonghan’s eyes—those eyes that had always been able to see through him, right to the very core of who he was—made something inside him falter. He didn’t want to believe that Jeonghan could hurt him like that, didn’t want to accept that everything they had shared could be discarded so easily.“She was drunk, and I couldn’t just leave her like that, Shua,” Jeonghan continued, his thumb brushing gently across Joshua’s cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “I was just trying to help her, but the moment I saw you… nothing else mattered.”Joshua swallowed hard, his throat tight with emotion. He wanted to believe Jeonghan, to let go of the fear and pain that had gripped his heart. And as he stood there, wrapped in Jeonghan’s embrace, the familiar scent of him calming Joshua’s racing thoughts, he realized something—he didn’t want to lose Jeonghan, no matter how complicated things might be.“I’m sorry,” Joshua whispered, his voice barely audible over the distant thrum of music still pulsing inside. “I just… I don’t know how to do this.”Jeonghan’s arms tightened around him, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them. “Neither do I,” Jeonghan admitted, his voice softening with a vulnerability that Joshua wasn’t used to hearing from him. “But I want to figure it out with you. Only with you.”For a moment, they simply stood there, holding each other as the night settled around them. The noise of the party, the lights, the people—they all seemed far away, insignificant compared to the quiet connection they shared in that moment. Joshua felt his heartache begin to ease, the tightness in his chest loosening as he allowed himself to lean into Jeonghan’s warmth.“I came here to tell you something,” Joshua finally said, pulling back just enough to look Jeonghan in the eye. “I wanted to tell you… I want more, Han. I want you.”Jeonghan’s eyes softened, a slow, tender smile spreading across his lips. “So do I, Shua. I’ve always wanted you.”The relief that washed over Joshua was almost overwhelming, his shoulders sagging as the weight of his fears began to lift. Jeonghan’s hands came up to cradle his face, tilting his chin up so their foreheads could touch—a gesture that had always been so intimately theirs."Just so we’re clear,” Jeonghan began, his tone half-joking but tinged with a note of desperation, “when I say I’ve always wanted you, I mean like… as my boyfriend, okay?”Joshua chuckled softly, nodding as he confirmed, “Like boyfriends.”Jeonghan’s teasing smile returned, a lightness in his eyes that Joshua hadn’t seen in a while. “Let’s leave this place then, boyfriend,” Jeonghan whispered, his breath warm against Joshua’s lips, the words filled with a mixture of relief and affection. “We started something here, but I want to take the next step with you, somewhere that’s just ours.”Joshua nodded, a small, genuine smile curving his lips for the first time that night. “Cheesy,” he teased softly, his voice carrying a hint of fondness.“Maybe,” Jeonghan admitted with a grin, “but it’s true.”With that, they turned away from the noise and the crowd, their hands intertwined, a silent promise passing between them. As they walked away from the party, from the place where they had once been just friends with benefits, the sound of their comfortable banter filled the air. Joshua laughed softly as Jeonghan pulled him closer, the older man whining, "You’re too far,” and Joshua responding with a playful, “I’m literally on your feet.”Jeonghan only grinned wider, tugging Joshua even closer until there was no space between them at all. “That’s better,” he murmured, his voice low and content.As they walked away together, their footsteps in sync, Joshua felt a warmth spread through him, a sense of belonging that he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. They had begun something here tonight—something new, something that was theirs alone.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"Your car feels different from last time," Joshua mused, leaning into the leather passenger seat with a relaxed smile.Jeonghan, adjusting the controls, glanced at him and asked, "Just renewed it. Do you like it?"Joshua let out a lazy hum of approval, his smile softening as he looked at Jeonghan. The playful glint in his eyes made Jeonghan's eyebrows lift in curiosity."I recall mentioning I wanted my car to look like this," Joshua said, his eyes twinkling mischievously. The sight of Jeonghan's ears turning red only heightened Joshua's amusement."You're quite the charmer, aren't you? Maybe I should have agreed to be yours sooner if it meant I'd get to see these new sides of you," Joshua teased, leaning casually on the armrest.Jeonghan sighed, reclining into his seat as he reached out to tuck a stray lock of Joshua's hair behind his ear. "Maybe you should have. I was suffering-Joshua-less behavior isn't exactly my best look," he said, his voice dripping with mock sadness.Joshua laughed, disbelief coloring his tone. "Any behavior of yours isn't the best. Like the way you threatened my project partner to keep his distance. That was more like intimidation."Jeonghan's eyes widened in shock. "You weren't supposed to find out! And I wasn't rude, I just-ask Cheol!""You dragged Cheol into this too? My suffering while working alone is the issue here," Joshua replied, his voice laced with a hint of whining."In apology, I sent food deliveries and flowers," Jeonghan defended, a trace of pride in his voice."That was you?" Joshua asked, blushing not just from the gesture but also from the embarrassing pick-up lines that accompanied the flowers. Some sweet, some spicy, all of which had made him blush.Jeonghan's face contorted into a scowl. "You thought it was someone else? Who else would send you deliveries with roses and cheesy lines?" His tone filled with jealousy.Joshua chuckled, shaking his head affectionately. "No one. Now, sit back down, big boy."Jeonghan pouted, a touch of sulkiness in his voice. "So, what about my thank you?"Joshua eyed Jeonghan suspiciously, noting the innocent pout. He leaned forward, gently grasped Jeonghan's shirt, and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, whispering a heartfelt thank you without parting from the warm skin.Jeonghan's eyes sparkled with mischief as he warned softly, "If you don't remove those soft lips from my cheek in two seconds, I'll kiss you with all the love I've got baby."Before Joshua could tease about the short timeframe, Jeonghan's lips captured his in a deep, passionate kiss, leaving no room for words.As they pulled apart, a few centimeters of space lingering between them, the car was filled with their heavy, mingling breaths."Joshua-" Jeonghan began, his voice low and hesitant as he started to draw away.Joshua reached out, pulling him back with a firm yet tender grip, closing the distance between them. "Are you sure? I don't want to rush you," Jeonghan asked, his hands cupping Joshua's face with gentle concern.Joshua's eyes locked onto Jeonghan's with a mixture of longing and determination. "I'm sure. Won't you make love to me, Han?" ☆ Joshua barely registrated how he ended up in the backseat, nestled on Jeonghan's lap as the latter leaned back against the window. Jeonghan's lips traced a tender path down Joshua's neck, each kiss accompanied by a soft, gentle suck."You're so beautiful, Shua," Jeonghan murmured against Joshua's chest, his voice warm and adoring. He placed a light kiss there, his hands delicately massaging Joshua's chest. Lost in the haze of bliss, Joshua could only emit soft, whiny sounds, overwhelmed by the tenderness with which Jeonghan was handling him. His need for Jeonghan was intense, but Jeonghan approached their lovemaking with an unhurried, loving gentleness, savoring every moment with deliberate care."Han-hannie, please," Joshua murmured weakly."Mhm, what is it, baby? What do you need?" Jeonghan inquired, his middle finger tracing gently around Joshua's entrance while his other hand soothingly caressed Joshua's side."I-I need you," Joshua choked out, tears of frustration streaming down his face. A gasp escaped his lips as Jeonghan began to stroke him with a steady rhythm. Soft moans followed as Jeonghan leaned in, kissing away Joshua's tears.Joshua clutched at Jeonghan's broad shoulders, his cries growing louder and more desperate as he pleaded for more, for faster movements."You have me Shua," Jeonghan murmured soothingly, his lips brushing against Joshua's face, his kisses gentle and tender. "I need to prepare you properly, but without lube, I can't risk hurting you. Just a little longer, okay?""Be a good boy for me," Jeonghan said softly, his voice a soothing balm amidst Joshua's frantic whimpers. Knowing how much Joshua craved praise, his touch remained tender yet firm, guiding Joshua through the intensity of his need while maintaining the gentle pace that promised both care and patience."I'm... I'm close," Joshua gasped, his eyes fluttering shut as he neared the edge.His orgasm surged through him, causing him to jerk forward, but Jeonghan held him close, cradling Joshua gently, his touch tender and soothing as Joshua began to recover from the overwhelming wave of pleasure.Jeonghan's fingers delicately gathered some of the Joshua's cum from his stomach before gently returning to rim Joshua's hole. The contact, light and teasing, made Joshua shiver, a soft, helpless moan escaping his lips as he reacted to the lingering sensitivity from his recent orgasm.A surprised moan escaped Joshua's lips as Jeonghan's middle finger eased it's way into him. "Relax for me, baby," Jeonghan murmured softly against Joshua's temple, his voice a comforting whisper amidst the growing intensity. As he gently scissored Joshua open, he was meticulous, ensuring the process was both careful and pleasurable to avoid causing any discomfort. The initial intrusion soon gave way to a wave of pleasure, gradually shifting Joshua's focus from sensitivity to the delightful sensations Jeonghan was skillfully eliciting.Purring a soft "more," Joshua pushed down on Jeonghan's finger, seeking more of the intense pleasure. A gentle spank on his butt bought him to halt, and Jeonghan's voice, though gentle, held a firm command. "Stay still, Shuji," Joshua whimpered an apology, but Jeonghan shushed him with a soothing tone. "Aren't you obedient and lovely," he whispered in Joshua's ears, biting softly, as he added another finger to stretch and prepare Joshua further.With three fingers, inside him, Joshua struggled to remain still, his desperation mounting. "Hannie, I-I'm ready," he gasped his voice trembling with need.Jeonghan's fingers paused as he leaned in to kiss Joshua, his lips tender and reassuring. As he withdrew his fingers, Joshua whimpered softly against Jeonghan's lips, the sudden absence a stark reminder of his need. Jeonghan's kiss deepened, soothing Joshua's distress as he positioned himself.The tip of Jeonghan's cock teased Joshua for a moment, but before he could beg for more, Jeonghan entered him in one swift, a deliberate movement, groaning as Joshua's warm, tight wall engulfed him. A loud moan escaped Joshua as he felt Jeonghan's full length inside him, Jeonghan held him firmly by the waist, voice a soothing whisper in Joshua's ear. "I've got you," he said, allowing Joshua to adjust to his size.Joshua began to grind against Jeonghan eliciting a huffed moan from him. "Shua," Jeonghan gasped, his breath hitching. Joshua nuzzled into Jeonghan's neck, his breath hot and urgent as he quickened his pace. The frustration from having been made to wait for so long surged through him, fueling his determination to get everything he desired. Jeonghan's grip tightened on Joshua's waist, guiding him as the intensity build between them.Jeonghan shifted their position, laying back against the seat and pulling Joshua on top of him. In one smooth motion, he reclaimed control, guiding Joshua's movements with his firm hands. As Joshua rode him, his grip tightened, most probably going to leave a mark, ensuring that each thrust was met with the precise pressure he desired.Joshua's movements grew increasingly unsteady, his body trembling with the intensity of the movement. Without Jeonghan's firm grip, he would have struggled to stay upright. "H-han, Jeonghan-ah," Joshua moaned, his voice laced with a bit of desperation and pleasure."It's okay, I'll take it from here, princess." Jeonghan shushed Joshua gently. Maneuvering their positions, flipping Joshua onto his back with him on top. With this new arrangement, Jeonghan took full control, his thrusts, movements deliberate and commanding. He guided Joshua's leg apart, holding them tightly as he established a steady fast rhythm. His focus was entirely on Joshua's pleasure.Jeonghan focused on Joshua's pleasures, matched the rhythm of his thrust with a steady stroke of Joshua's cock. The air was filled with a symphony of obscene sounds, the rhythmic slap of skin, heavy breathing, and loud, fervent moans."Coming," Joshua warned, his voice trembling with the upcoming climax. Jeonghan increased his pace, ensuring that Joshua felt every sensation. Both coming at the same time, Joshua moaned at the feeling of Jeonghan's cum fill him, Jeonghan groaning at Joshua clenching around him.Jeonghan gently kissed Joshua's neck, his voice soft with concern. "You alright?"Joshua managed a soft hum in response, his eyes fluttering closed as he leaned into Jeonghan's touch, reassured by the tender care. ☆ "I'll have to send the car for cleaning again," Jeonghan murmured against Joshua's neck as they lay together in Joshua's bed, fresh and clean. Joshua chuckled."It was worth it, though. I didn’t know you had such a sweet, vanilla side," he teased.Jeonghan's gaze softened as he looked up at Joshua, his fingers tracing gently along his jawline. "You know, I think I've fallen even harder for you," he murmured, his voice tender and sincere.Joshua's smile widened, a playful glint in his eyes. "Is that so? Maybe you should’ve fallen sooner. We could’ve had more moments like this."Jeonghan chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "True. I could have tried showing you my soft side earlier, but here we are."Joshua pouted playfully. "Tried being the key word here. You were still a bit rough.""Those flowers were my apology for that... and for anything else I might do," Jeonghan retorted.Joshua sighed in contentment. "You really went all out.""Well, if I had to win you over, I figured I should do it with style," Jeonghan replied, his tone light but his gaze serious. "And besides, I wanted you to know just how much you mean to me."Joshua's expression softened, clearly touched by Jeonghan's efforts. "It worked. I definitely feel appreciated," he said with genuine warmth. As Joshua's fingers gently played with Jeonghan's hair, a soft, soothing gesture, sleep began to claim him. The room fell quiet, filled only with the hum of the air conditioner and the soft sounds from Joshua.He glanced over at Jeonghan, his eyes brimming with affection. "Thank you for showing me so much love and patience, and for waiting," he whispered.Jeonghan, his eyes sleepy but content, smiled with a mix of relief and happiness. "Thank you for giving me a chance, Shua. I’ll never make you regret it." Joshua nodded, the warmth of Jeonghan's words wrapping around him like a comforting blanket.Turning on his side to face Jeonghan, he was met with a flirtatious smile and a wink that made him chuckle. "Let’s get some sleep, hmm?" Joshua suggested, cuddling closer to Jeonghan's chest."Finally," Jeonghan joked, "I’m exhausted. Let’s agree never to have sex in the car again." Joshua pinched Jeonghan's side, eliciting a playful yelp."Ouch! Okay, sorry, baby. Let’s sleep," Jeonghan said, kissing Joshua's head.As Joshua's eyelids grew heavy, he sought one last reassurance. "You'll be here in the morning?" he asked softly, his voice laced with sleep and a touch of insecurity."I’ll be here as long as you want me, Shuji," Jeonghan replied with utmost sincerity.Forever, then.