Work Text
Senshi: Marcille, how would you describe me?Marcille: *gives a detailed explanation of his personality*Me and Laios: *excited* How would you describe us?Marcille: I would say-Chilchuck: *interrupting her* Autistic. Definitely would describe you guys as autistic.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *walks out to see Laios talking to Kabru* Laios? Who's that?Laios: *panics* It's the village psychopath! You should get inside now!Me: wait... isn't that the guy you have a picture of in your roo-Kabru: *stifling laughter*
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Senshi: *putting the Mimic leg in the water for the Kelpie*Me: Are you putting...Imitation Crab in the water????Everyone except Laios: *silence*Laios: *laughing* Cause it's a mimic and it looks like crab! Haha!Chilchuck: ...mimics are no joke-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *walking to see Kabru in front of the rest of his team paralyzed* Kabru! I see you're still alive!Kabru: Really Eddie? In front of my dead crew?Me: ...it's not like they can hear me-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: Marcille, can I hold your staff pleaseeeeeee????Marcille: Fine. *hands me her staff*Me: *points it at closest person* AVADA KADAVRA! *didn't work* Aw...I thought it would've workedChilchuck: You pointed it AT ME! IF IT DID WORK I'D BE DEAD!Me: You were standing the closest!Chilchuck: Oh and THAT'S a valid reason?! How would you even FEEL If I died and Marcille couldn't bring me back?!Me: ...*ears flop a bit like a sad puppy* I-I'd probably have a breakdown because if you die then I lose yet another person who is dear to me that I told myself not to get close to because it would hurt me...Chilchuck: *has that 'oh no...I f^cked up' expression on his face* oh...Laios: ...that..got depressingMarcille: y-yeah...Senshi: *talking to the ogre baby* And that kid is what we call OVERSHARING!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: Wow! It's raining! Marcille get out here and see!Marcille: *walks out into rain*Me: Oh sh^t, you didn't melt. The Wizard of Oz lied to me-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *out of nowhere* I wonder what having parents you can look up yo and aspire to be is like...Laios: *caught off guard* wh-what?Marcille: *concern*Senshi: ...you have foo-Chilchuck: Well Eddie, you just started a long and sad rabbit hole that will eventually spiral into people including me being concerned for your well being-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: Chilchuck if you wanna talk abut it I'll listen. I have trust issues and problems with emotional intimacy with people too so I might be able to help.Chilchuck: Right now I'm not depressed. I'm just having a little break from slaying. I'm just having a little break from slaying and then I'm gonna go back to slaying soon. So don't you worry.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: Are you okay Eddie?Me: I do NOT have PTSD!!! It is all just the withes curse!! well...the witch is my mother but that...is not relevant
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: You guys don't even know me that well..Chilchuck: You're all alone and you lost all your friends. You tell yourself that it's not them instead it's you.Me: ...y-you didn't have to bring THAT up-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: Laios are you queer? Because it sure seems like it with how you and Kabru act around each other.Laios: *panics* I want to date a girl who's slim, simple, sometimes slow and can play multiple sports..Me: ...b^tch that's just the Nintendo Wii from 2009!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *working on Senshi's axe* I'm almost done with this axe I just have to work out the kinks.Senshi: *wrong kind of kinks* I like feet...Chilchuck: SHUT UP-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *Hammers Laios's sword on an anvil*Chilchuck who was dared by Marcille: *in my ear* Harder~Me: If you weren't attractive I'd f^cking punch you right now-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Marcille: Why are you two so secretive?Me: The world's greatest actor doesn't need a stage.Chilchuck: Cause they're so good at their craft that nobody knows they're fake.Me: fools have no clue the one they knew is just a fraud.Chilchuck: The master at pretending,Me: to be something that they're,Both: Not.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chilchuck: Hey siri!Siri: Yes?Chilchuck: Call me 'daddy' from now on!Siri: I don't see a father in your contacts. What's your father's first and last name?Me: *laughs* Damn, you're cute you know that?Chilchuck: *blushing* Shut up.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: You scraped Senshi's pot!Me: There were no witnesses. And if it even happened and there were and Chilchuck happened to be one of them he wouldn't say anything. *turns to Chilchuck* Right Chilchuck?Chilchuck: Right.Me: See? Chilchuck's my man! He wouldn't tell anyone IF I did that!Chilchuck: Yup...wait did you just call me yours-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: *ready to eat* Y'know where all this meat's going? in me- ...waitaminute...Me: ...Chilchuck: the f-Senshi: um...Marcille: *concern*Laios: *tries to fix his words* You know who's eating all this meat? This-Me: Oh my god..*sighs in defeat*
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: *wanted to do the SpongeBob SquarePants song with us* Are ya ready kids?Me and Chilchuck: *unenthusiastically* Aye, aye, captainLaios: I can't hear you!Chilchuck: *monotone and still on beat* Why the f^ck you lying, Captain?Me: *coughcough* and this is why I'm attracted to you-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: I think out of everyone in this party I get along with Chucklef*ck best.Marcille: *holding in laughter*Laios: *laughing*Senshi: *also laughing*Me: What's wrong...?Chilchuck: my name is NOT Chucklef*ck! It's Chilchuck!Me: I-...I'm sorry
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Chilchuck: Call me lover.Me: I'll take you for a drink or two?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *pointing to Chilchuck* This time I want...you! you! You! Like it's magnetic!Chilchuck: I'm not doing the stupid trend with anyone!Me: ...worth a shot
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: Chilchuck, I like men.Chilchuck: Okay...?Senshi: Chilchuck, I also like men.Chilchuck: Is there anyone in this party who likes women?Marcille: *raises hand*Chilchuck: ...*looks at me* And what about you?Me: We all know I'm gay already-Marcille: Yeah he's already out as gay.Senshi: Eddie is gay alright...gay for Chilchuck-Me: WE DON'T NEED TO DISCUSS THAT RIGHT NOW-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Marcille: Okay and we're filming!Me: Okane kasegu, orewa sta(r),Chilchuck: *sighs* Okane kasegu, watashi wa star,
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: *talking to Chilchuck after he got divorced* I know he hurt you babygirl, but it's gonna be okay...cause your lore...JUST GOT SICK AS F^CK-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: Girls kiss other girls 'hello' and no one bats an eye. But when I kiss Chilchuck...Society. SOCIETY CALLS ME GAY!Chilchuck: *blushing*w-w-we didn't have to talk about it-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: Your final challenge...admit your feelings for EddieMe: *blushing*Chilchuck: Ohhellnawyo-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Marcille: *upset cause I told Laios he can eat the fish man* You're standing on thin ice!Me: *doesn't understand metaphors* ...I'm standing on the floor-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Marcille: Okay, they're coming. Everyone look like you're gardening! Eddie grab that little hoe!Me: *hugs Chilchuck from behind*Chilchuck: *offended*
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
My Friend: Why do you always click a character where you're a part of Laios and Falin's party on C.ai?Me: In that world I have an autistic angel and a short king-
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Laios: You never tell anyone anything? What have others done to you?Me: Break my leg, hurt me bad, make me cry, I'm so sad...
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Marcille: Senshi, why don't you cut your hair?Senshi: Hair hold memories.Me: *in the background currently cutting all my hair off* Exactly.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Marcille: *dying*Laios: Is anyone here a doctor?!Me: Well..I'm a necromancer if you're willing to um...wait a few minutes...
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Me: DAMN IT! The common language doesn't have enough curse words!! *starts screaming cusses in Spanish*Laios: It's Chilchuck all over again-