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The smell of drying leaves, pavement and cheap beer floated through the air as Max Mayfield shrugged on her jacket. She could hear Van Halen warbling through someone’s boom box nearby…the party had been slowly starting around them for a little while, but she still had about a minute of film left in her Super 8 cassette and wanted one last shot.Max slid down the dirty concrete of the abandoned motel’s long-empty pool, and looked up from the bottom of the curved deep end. This was a nice angle; the sun hadn’t set enough to be too dark yet, but it was on its way out, and had cast a beautiful orange-pink haze through the sky.“Out of the way, Red!” another skateboarder called down to her.“Keep your wig on!” she barked, and looked over at her friend on the other side of the pool. “Have one more in you, Eddie?”“Fine,” he sighed, “one more. Then your star needs a beer, or five.”Max smiled. “Ready when you are.” She crouched and pointed the camera up at the edge of the pool.Eddie took a running start before he dropped his board and propelled twice, gathering speed. Max held down the shutter button just before he entered the frame, where he skated up to the top and balanced the nose of his board on the edge for just a second before dropping back down for a shaky, but ultimately successful landing.“Perfect!” She said, “nice one.” She high-fived Eddie as he picked up his board and headed toward the steps at the shallow end.“Alright, Spielberg,” he said, “time for booze.”“Yes, sir,” Max laughed, “Thanks for humoring me.” She carefully screwed on the lens cap and stowed her camera back in her satchel as she followed him.“So is this the sequel to last summer’s thing?”“Yeah, sort of. That one was for college applications, so I kind of just want to make one for me, now.”Eddie plucked a beer from a six pack and cracked it open. “So I’m like, the DeNiro to your Scorsese.”Max laughed and opened a can of Coke. “DeNiro wishes he had your hair.” She took a few big gulps, then opened the nearby bottle of Absolut and filled the empty space.“You’re damn right he does.” Eddie chuckled, then sighed, staring out at the sunset confidently. “This is our year, Mayfield. I’m finally gonna graduate, and you’ll get into film school. Class of ’86, baby!” He raised his bottle and Max clinked her can against it.“I’m glad at least one of us is an optimist,” she sighed.“I call it: ‘strategic delusion.’ We’re gonna crush it, and we’re gonna have a fucking blast doing it. Evidence to the contrary be damned. Get on board.”“I could use a little delusion,” Max smiled, “At this point, I’m starting to wonder if you’re even supposed to enjoy high school. Pretty sure the goal is just to survive.”“Surviving is for cave people, man—you gotta live! Carpe Diaz, or whatever. But speaking of surviving…Billy know you’re here?”Max snuffed “Hell, no. He’s still pissed about last week. I told him I was going to study at Rita’s.”Eddie looked over Max’s shoulder, and did a double take at the parking lot behind her. He furrowed his brow, squinting.“No fucking way,” he said, “is that Harrington?”Max spun around and saw the brake lights flare on Steve Harrington’s dark red car as he parked on the far end of the parking lot.Max’s stomach twirled. “Oh shit,” she said, “I mentioned the party to him in class earlier, but didn’t think he’d actually show up.”Eddie laughed and raised his eyebrows at Max, nudging her with his elbow theatrically. “Harrington wouldn’t be caught dead with the burnouts and freaks before you showed up. That dude is in love with you.”“He is not,” Max murmured as a treacherous blush crept into her cheeks.The truth was that she did really like Steve. They had worked together at the local diner over the summer and become fast friends, to both of their surprise. They ran in different circles, and she always assumed that he was just a dumb, rich jock, but he was kind, thoughtful, and actually very funny. She didn’t think she’d ever laughed as much as she did during their time together.On their last day of work, Steve had asked her out on a date, and it went well—as did the next few dates. But they were far from official; only a handful of people even knew they’d been dating. She wasn’t seeing anyone else, but assumed he was. There was a constant crew of popular girls in his orbit that he could date without stepping down a rung on the social ladder.But it had been a while since their last date. They’d only been friendly at school, so she wasn’t sure where they stood.“The jock and the skater,” Eddie chuckled, “like a shitty midwestern production of Romeo and Juliet.”Max snuffed. “You’re an idiot.”Eddie smirked and Max turned and waved to Steve, who was getting close.“Well, you’re easy to spot in a crowd,” Steve said, “That hair is like a beacon.”“Glad it’s good for something,” Max said, walking up to him. He pulled her into a hug and she returned it, quietly analyzing it for intent. It was too long to be a friendly hug, too chaste to be a romantic hug, but his hands did linger on her back for a few seconds after they parted. Interesting.God, she loved the way he smelled. He smelled like clean laundry, mixed with another warmer smell that she couldn’t quite describe. It interfered with her heartbeat.“How’s it going, man?” Steve asked, nodding to Eddie.“Can’t complain, Harrington. Surprised to see you here, though.”“Max invited me,” Steve shrugged, “Nice night for a party.”“Guess so,” Eddie said, shooting Max a mischievous glance, “But I’ll leave you guys to chat—looks like they’re arguing about the music over there,” he nodded his head toward the boombox where Samantha and Spike were frowning at each other with cassettes in their hands. “I’m gonna go campaign for Iron Maiden.”He jogged away, raising his arms in surrender when Sam and Lenny looked up at him angrily. “I come in peace,” Max heard him say.She shook her head and laughed.“He’s a character,” Steve said.“Sure is. Cool of you to show up. I honestly didn’t think you would.”Steve smiled, looking around the abandoned motel lot. “Yeah, I admit, not my typical crowd. Came to see you, actually.”Max’s stomach resumed it’s dizzy routine. A small smile broke out of her effort to remain nonchalant. “Oh?”Steve’s forehead wrinkled slightly over his soft smile. “You’re not easy to read, you know that?”She cocked her head. “What would you like to know?”“Well,” he cleared his throat, averting her gaze, “I actually wanted to see if you had a date to Homecoming yet.”He looked back at her and Max felt her indifferent mask slip right off her face. She stared at him, blindsided.“I—no, I don’t.”“Wanna go together?”She blinked at him, trying to determine if this was some kind of joke. “Really?”“Hey, if you don’t, that’s cool—““No, I do!” she said, “Totally—yes. I’m just—I’m surprised.”“Oh,” Steve chuckled in relief, “phew. Why are you surprised?”“Same reason Eddie was surprised to see you here.”Steve shrugged. “I stopped caring about that cliquey bullshit a while ago.”“Your fan club will be pretty upset.”Steve snuffed. “I actually haven’t been on a date with anyone but you since September.”Max felt her cheeks heating up. “I—““Maxine!” a voice called, louder than he needed to. Max turned around. It was Spike, one of Billy’s friends—wasted, as usual.“Where’s Billy at?” he asked.Max frowned at him. “Don’t know, don’t care.”“Oh,” Spike stifled a belch, “thought he said he was coming.”Max blinked at him, alarmed. “What? I thought he had a date?”“Nah, he cancelled,” he said, “I saw him at the gas station and—oh, there he goes.” He looked over Max and Steve’s shoulder.Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Sure enough, the Camaro was coming into sight a ways down the empty road, and soon roared into the parking lot.“God damnit,” Max muttered.“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.She sighed angrily. “I’m not supposed to be here. My parents are out of town and Billy’s playing warden.”Steve shook his head. “Couldn’t imagine living with that asshole.”“I would love it if graduation could happen like, yesterday.”“You’ll be a free woman soon enough.”“‘Free woman’ is an oxymoron in the Hargrove house.”“Billy the king!” Spike shouted, “What’s up, man?”Billy nodded at Spike, “Spike,” he said, and took a drag of his cigarette.It only took him a few seconds to spot Max. He didn’t look surprised—he must have already spotted her from the car. Damn her orange hair.The buckles on his boots jangled as he strolled up to her and Steve. He had his faded leather bomber on, but despite the plummeting temperature, half of his shirt was unbuttoned, as usual. It was like his chest was allergic to fabric.“Well, well, well,” he said, glaring at her as he approached. “Why am I not surprised?” He looked at Steve. “Slumming it with the burnouts tonight, Harrington?” Steve shrugged. “We were having a nice time before you and your nipples showed up.”Billy smiled, a malicious glint in his eye.“Relax,” Eddie said, walking back to Max holding his hands up, “this one’s on me. I picked her up from Rita’s.”“Mind your own business, Munson. We’re leaving, Max.”“She’s an adult, man,” Steve said, “she doesn’t have to listen to you.”Billy raised his eyebrows in amusement. “Is that right?”Max looked between Steve and Billy nervously. Billy was smiling, but the malicious glint had turned to intent. She’d seen him fight before; he was frighteningly quick, strong, and ruthless. Eddie was not a fighter, and she didn’t know about Steve, but, most likely, Billy would beat the shit out of both of them and enjoy it.“Hey, man,” Spike said, “come hang, have a drink.” Max couldn’t tell if he was trying to play peacemaker or was genuinely oblivious to the tension.Billy ignored him. He and Steve glared at each other.“Or—you know, just throwing out options—you can fuck off,” Steve shrugged.“I was just about to suggest the same,” Eddie said, crossing his arms.Steve and Eddie’s sharp tongues wouldn’t help them in a fight. Max shot a warning look at them, but neither saw her. Billy’s eyes flashed as he took a step towards Steve, and Max’s heart jumped into her throat. She hurriedly stepped between them.“Stop,” she said, “come on, let’s just go home.”“Max—“ Steve said, but Max silenced him with a stern look and subtle shake of her head.“It’s okay,” Max said, “I’m tired anyway. Really. I’ll see you guys later.” Her friends looked at her sadly as she tugged at Billy’s arm. He looked down at her and shot a final derisive glance at Steve before he turned around, yanked his arm from her and strode toward the Camaro.Max anxiously gripped the passenger’s side door as Billy sped through the dark country roads. She was afraid—of his driving, of him, and of what he might do to make her life even worse now that their parents were gone for almost two weeks.He was quiet, but she knew he was furious. Of course he was angry; he was always angry, and, honestly, so was she. She had just turned eighteen, so she should be free of Billy and her stepdad Neil’s oppressive bullshit. But as Neil liked to remind her: his house, his rules—and he was a raging misogynist, so those rules were different for Max than for Billy. Billy was only a year older than she was, but he and Neil treated her like like a child. It was infuriating.Billy had repeated a grade sometime in elementary school, so he and Max had been in the same class together since sixth grade back in California. They were acquaintances at best back then, but in their freshman year, they became enemies pretty quickly when their parents met and married.Max loathed Billy’s father, Neil; he was a bigoted misogynist and when she and her mother Susan moved in with him and Billy, Max frequently ran away to stay with her father, a kind-hearted but unstable gambling and drug addict. Neil made the unilateral decision that Max’s father should be cut out of her life, and he accepted a job as the head of the police union in Indiana, forcing them all to uproot their lives and Billy and Max to start junior year in a new town.Billy blamed Max for being ripped out of his hometown, and only seemed to be content when he was able to make her as miserable as he was. Neil encouraged him to take on the role of overprotective brother, and Billy used it as cover to antagonize and control her.All she wanted was to do make the most of her senior year, but Billy thwarted her every attempt.Billy lit a cigarette, inhaled and exhaled smoke through his nose. “I warned you about lying to me,” he said, a little too calmly. “You fucked up, Max.”Max scowled at him. “Why can’t you just mind your own business?”“You are my business, dipshit,” he said, “Something happens to you, it’s my ass. Not enough that you get us moved to this shit hole town—“Max rolled her eyes, “Are you still bitching about that? We’ve been here for a year. What, are you jealous that I made more friends than you?”“You call those burnouts friends? All they do is get you shitfaced.”“I thought you liked Spike.”“Spike put fucking ‘ludes in your drink last week.”“That was an accident. He thought it was his.”“Don’t be an idiot. That asshole drugged you and I had to cut my night short to drag your sorry ass home.”Max crossed her arms. “I would’ve been fine without you. Eddie was there.”Billy snuffed as he finally pulled into their driveway. “Yeah, he was probably waiting for you to pass out so he could have a chance to fuck you.”“You’re an asshole,” Max snarled, shooting him a disgusted look before she got out of the car and stormed into the house.

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Max took off her jacket, tossed it on the couch, then paused, realizing she left her camera in the car. She turned around to go back outside but Billy walked in and slammed the door behind him, glowering at her. He strode toward her and she instinctively stepped back until she hit the wall. He was almost always angry with her, but something was different about the fury in his eyes tonight.“You’re delusional if you think your stoner friends can protect you.”“I can handle myself. Last week was a mistake.”“Do you want to get raped, Max? Is that it?”Max bristled. “Fuck off,” she said, and tried unsuccessfully to push him aside. Suddenly, his hand shot out and grabbed her by the throat.Max’s hands flew to his, trying to pull his fingers away from her neck to no avail. He slammed her against the wall.He had surprised her; she didn’t have time to take in any air before he cut off her airway and she couldn’t speak. She pushed against his chest and hit him, but he didn’t let go. He just smirked at her, trying and succeeding in making his point: she had no hope of overpowering him. Billy was a foot taller than her, significantly stronger, and there was something in his eyes that made her worry about the lengths he’d go to hammer his point home.“I thought you could handle yourself, Max,” he mocked.She clawed at his hand as he loomed over her. She desperately opened and closed her mouth, trying to take in air only to have it stop at her blocked windpipe. Her struggling was getting weaker. She was running out of oxygen.Finally he let her go and she backed away from him, coughing air into her lungs and trying to put space between them.“What…the fuck…is wrong with you?” Max rasped, taking in desperate, panicked breaths and leaning on the wall for support.“You didn’t answer me,” he said.“What?” Max coughed.“Do you want to get raped?” he repeated.Max shot him a hateful glare. “Fuck you,” she spat.Billy closed the distance between them with two steps, grabbed the bottom of her sweater and savagely yanked it up and over her head.“What—stop! What the hell?!” She covered her chest with her hands and tried to shrink away from him but he grabbed her arms and shoved her back against the wall.“You obviously do, so let’s just get it over with, Max,” he said, reaching under her skirt and pulling her underwear down. “Better me than some hick pothead, right?”“Stop!” Max screamed. She had been pretty sure he was just being a dick, going overboard in showing her how easily he could overpower her. But this was a line he hadn’t crossed before, and it frightened her.He got her underwear down to her knees, but she grabbed them, trying desperately to pull them back up but only succeeding in tearing open the right leg hole in the struggle. Suddenly, he shoved her and she fell, knocking the wind out of her lungs. She couldn’t recover before he got on top of her, pinned her down and ripped off the rest of the ruined underwear.She thrashed and struggled underneath him but he was too heavy. Cold fear crept into her chest as she realized just how fast he was able to get her half naked and pinned to the floor.“Alright, Jesus, you made your point!” she snapped, her assertive tone undercut by the fearful tremor in her voice, “Get off me!”But before she could react he reached his hand under her skirt and she felt his cold fingers up against the warmest part of her. Her breath caught and her entire body tensed.In that moment, she realized this was a fear she’d always had. It was latent, and only stirred occasionally when she would catch him looking at her a certain way, but it was always dismissed, forgotten. They hated each other; she avoided him, he avoided her, and both parties went about their lives undisturbed by the other. But now, as she looked into his gloating blue-green eyes, she could see he meant to change that for good.Billy watched Max’s terrified blue eyes widen as his fingers made their way between her warm lower lips, and he could tell she finally understood her situation.“No!” she screamed as she started to thrash and recoil as best she could from his probing fingers, “get away from me!”“Easy, Max,” he purred, spreading her lips apart and sinking a thick finger inside, drawing a sharp gasp from her. “Holy fuck,” he said as her walls clamped around his finger. How was it possible she was this tight?“No—Billy, stop. S–seriously.” She was panicking now, and he paused in realization.“No fucking way,” he said in disbelief, “You’re a virgin?”She didn’t answer him, but the gathering tears and intensifying blush in her cheeks were confirmation enough.“Holy shit,” he laughed, in awe of his own luck. He thought for sure she would’ve let Harrington or Munson fuck her at some point. “Well, gotta pop your cherry sometime,” he said, and maneuvered another finger alongside the first. She was so tight it actually hurt his fingers.She gritted her teeth and took in a sharp breath, then let out a high pitched groan as his fingers started to move. “Oh my God, Billy, stop! That hurts.” “This is nothing,” he said, moving his fingers in and out, “it’s gonna get a lot worse before it gets better.”Desperate panic flashed across her face, and she balled up her fists and started hitting him as hard as she could. He kept one hand inside her and with the other grabbed her wrist and pinned it down. She kept hitting him with her other hand and switched to scratching, which hurt a hell of a lot more than her small fists. He pulled his fingers out of her, grabbed her other wrist and slammed it to the floor.“You don’t want to do that, Max,” he growled, “I’m not afraid to beat the shit out of you—you know that, right? If I have to fuck your unconscious body, I’ll do it.”The horror in her eyes confirmed that she knew he wasn’t bluffing. He pushed himself off her and stood up, dragging her up with him by her arm. Once she was on her feet, she yanked her arm away and tried to run but he caught her by her hair and slammed her against the wall, face first. She let out a fearful whimper as he pressed his body to hers, and could feel her tremble violently as she registered the feeling of his bulge against her. He unhooked her bra, but she wouldn’t let it fall off her shoulders. It didn’t matter, he’d get it off.“Billy, please,” she begged quietly, “just stop.”He gathered a fistful of her long, coppery hair and ground his bulge against her as she tried her best to sink into the wall. He kissed the back of her neck and sucked on it, then leaned her head back to look into her tearful blue eyes.“Come on, Max,” he smirked, “you might as well enjoy it.”He caught the split second change in her expression from despair to anger just in time to turn her head away as she tried to spit at him. He laughed. “Nice try. Now, don’t even think about biting my tongue, or you’re gonna wish I only fucked you.”Max winced, and he leaned down to kiss her, sucking her lips into his and prying them apart, thrusting his tongue into her mouth. With his other hand he reached back under her skirt to tease her, making her flinch as he brushed her clit and rubbed circles around it.He could feel her tense up and shiver as she made small sounds of exertion trying to fight off the building pleasure, clearly confused why it could be happening against her will. But it was inevitable; she was so sensitive. Her knees began to shake and he increased the friction, biting her lower lip as a shudder ripped through her and she uttered a mournful little moan.“That didn’t take long at all,” he chuckled, “you clearly want this, Max.”“No,” she whined, trying to buck him off but only succeeding in moving his fingers to a better position for him to roughly shove them inside her. He shoved his hips against hers, pinning her pelvis between his own and his hand, and ground his palm against her clit as he worked his fingers further inside her.He could feel the difference further up; she was tight throughout but the tension near her entrance was cutting off the circulation of his fingers and barely had any give. He’d taken a few virginities in his time…not all of them bled, but she would.“I won’t lie,” he whispered, “it’s gonna hurt. But it’ll hurt a lot less if you relax.”He must have let his guard down because suddenly she slipped halfway out of his grasp and elbowed him hard in the ribs, making him double over and release her. She tried to run but he recovered quickly enough to catch the end of her hair, yank her back and hit her so hard across the face that she fell to her knees.She was going to be pretty banged up by the end of this if she kept being so stubborn, but he didn’t give a shit; their parents wouldn’t be home to ask questions for almost two weeks.She hit the ground hard but immediately scrambled to her feet and made another break for her bedroom. Billy caught up with her in a few bounds, pushing her inside her room and shutting the door behind him.“Fine,” he said, “want to do this in your room?” He shoved her hard towards her bed, and she fell just before it, turning around and shrinking into the bed in fear as she watched him walk towards her.Shit, she looked hot trembling on the floor, staring up at him with her her bra halfway off her heaving chest and disheveled hair falling in orange cascades down her face and shoulders.“I don’t give a shit where we do it,” Billy said, “but you’re getting fucked tonight, Max.”She let out a terrified sob as he pulled his shirt off and strode toward her before kneeling down and roughly tugging her bra off. She covered her breasts with shaking hands as he stood back up and unzipped his pants.“Get on your knees,” he said, and her eyes grew wide as she watched him release his straining cock from his pants.He smiled watching the color drain from her red cheeks. He knew it was bigger than most girls had experienced, and for a virgin, it had to be downright terrifying.“On your knees,” he repeated, grabbing her hair and tugging at it. She tearfully obeyed.“Billy, don’t make me—please.”“Open your mouth.”She shook her head softly and breathed heavily for a few seconds, staring in horror at this thing pointing at her. He was about to hit her when she put her hands on his thighs.“Okay, okay—wait. I’ll do it…just—please don’t fuck me. Please.”Billy smirked and pushed her hair out of her face. She was pale, except for the angry red patch where he’d hit her. There was no way he wasn’t going to fuck her, but he could let her hope. “We’ll see. You ever give a blowjob?”She shook her head. Another surprise. Who knew she was such a prude?“Doubt it’ll be good enough, then. But you can try. I’d better not feel any teeth. Open your mouth.”Her lip trembled before she obeyed him. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her closer, groaning as her lips closed over his cock head.“Use your hand, too,” he said, “and lick the tip.”She raised a hand and reluctantly gripped his shaft, moving it up and down as her tongue flicked his sensitive tip. God damn, she was a natural. He tugged on her hair, making her move her head back and forth, just slightly at first.“Rub your hand over your cunt, get it wet.” He caught a subtle look of hatred as she obeyed him, reaching down under her skirt and rubbing her palm between her folds. She brought her hand back to his cock and started pumping again.“Fuck yes,” Billy growled, thrusting his hips forward and pulling her head closer so that he slid a few inches further into her mouth, making her gag. He could make her deepthroat him, but she’d been drinking and he didn’t want her to throw up all over him. No, he’d save that for another night. Besides, the thought of being her first already made him hard as a rock, and the view of her, topless, on her knees, with her red lips around his cock was really almost enough to make him come.He grinned watching her grimace as his precum hit her tongue and she tried to pull her head back, but he kept it in place.“Swallow it,” Billy commanded, and watched in amusement as she tried swallowing with his cock still in her mouth. Her shoulders hunched as she tried and failed, and he finally just pulled out and let her actually swallow. She turned her head away, lower lip quivering in humiliation.He raked a hand through her hair and turned her head back toward him. She looked up, wordlessly begging him to stop with teary eyes, but it was having the opposite effect. Her smudged black eye makeup brought out her stunningly blue eyes, the wild waves of her hair shone like a new penny in the light, her pert breasts stood to attention, just asking to be bitten…she’d never looked more beautiful. He had to make her his.Billy took Max’s arm and pulled her up to her feet. She looked up at him apprehensively as he took her face in his hands. He kissed her deeply, passionately and more freely now that he didn’t have to worry about keeping her in place. He could even swear that he felt her giving in, kissing him back.Taking advantage of the moment of calm, he reached down and softly, almost imperceptibly unzipped her skirt. She only noticed when it began to fall, and she caught it, trying to pull it back up. Billy seized his moment and shoved her onto the bed, snatching the skirt down her legs before she was able to pull it back.She was totally bare now, and tried to cover herself up with the blanket but Billy got on top of her and yanked it away.“No!” She shrieked as he straddled her waist, the reality of her circumstances finally sinking in. “No—please don’t. I’ll suck it again…please.”“I know you will,” he smirked.“Get off me! Help!” she screamed, her terror mutating into wild anger. She slapped him across the face and began to thrash, unsuccessfully trying to shake him off, and, in desperation, she reached up and raked her nails down his chest. He hissed in pain and grabbed her neck again, squeezing hard. He looked down at his chest. She’d drawn blood.“If you don’t behave, my hand’s gonna stay here the whole time.” He gripped tighter as she choked and scratched at his hands.“No—no scratching either.” She stopped scratching him but kept her hands on his, looking up at him pleadingly as tears fell down to her ears and she began to change colors. “Nod if you understand.”Max nodded weakly, and he released her neck. She coughed and sobbed as he pulled his jeans and boxer briefs off and tossed them on the floor, then grabbed her wrists and pinned them up next to her head, watching her chest rise and fall dramatically as she panted through her panic. God, her breasts were perfect. Pale little mounds with dusky pink nipples. He could spend all night on them. He leant down, still keeping his hands firmly on her wrists, and started biting and sucking her breasts, more roughly by the second. He loved her little whimpers when he bit too hard, and wanted to leave his mark. These were his now.While he marred her pale skin, he maneuvered his legs so his knees were in-between hers. He thought about flipping her over, making it harder for her to fight back, but he wanted to see her face as he broke through that virgin cunt. He let her wrists go and tangled his hands in her hair as he kissed her. Her hands moved down to press against his hips, to try to keep from him getting closer. She felt his cock bump her and let out a panicked whimper before she started pleading again.“No, please, Billy—I’m begging you, please don’t do this to me. Please don’t.”He smirked and tweaked her nipple. “Look how hard your nipples are, Max. You might as well just accept that you want this. Your body already has.”He bucked his hips a little so his cock rubbed against her.“No!” she sobbed, “Please. It won’t fit. I’ve never—it’s too big.”Oh, it would fit. She’d just have to make room, and she might not enjoy that.“Never know if you don’t try,” he said, rubbing his cock over her folds.“Billy, please!” she wailed, starting to hyperventilate.He leaned over her so their noses touched, and put his hand back on the side of her face, making her flinch. She was trembling violently.“Look at me,” he commanded, and guided his cock to her tiny, tense hole. He rubbed the tip against it and groaned.“You act like you don’t want it,” he said, “but you’re soaking wet. Just relax.”Max shook her head, tearfully appealing to him once more before he started pushing into her, looking into her eyes while he did it. Her whole face contorted in discomfort as his cock head popped through the small opening and she inhaled through her teeth. He groaned—the head of his cock was being squeezed so hard that it almost wasn’t pleasant, so it must be a lot worse for her.She took in quick, sharp breaths and cried out as he pushed in more, managing to get a couple more inches in.“I can’t—it’s too big,” she wept, pushing against his pelvic bone, “It’s gonna tear.”“You have to relax,” he said, pausing, “this’ll hurt like hell if you don’t.”“It already hurts!”“Breathe,” he said, and remained still, waiting for her to take a breath, but her frantic attempts at relaxing weren’t working very well. She didn’t know how to control that muscle yet.His face hovered just above hers, so close he could smell her tears. She was finally able to relax the slightest amount, and he knew he should wait but he was getting impatient. He put a hand on her hip for leverage and thrust hard, feeling something give inside her as she screamed in pain and tossed her head back into the pillow.“Fuck,” he said, moving a little more freely now that there was some relief from the vice-tight ring he’d just broken, “there we go.”She tried to turn her head away but he held her jaw in place, so she had no choice but to look at him through her tears, inhaling sharply every time he moved inside her. Her feet were flexed hard, and her legs were shaking. Understandable, given he was pretty sure he’d never been in a girl this tight. It felt incredible, but she was clearly in a lot of pain.If she only knew how restrained he was being. He was only about halfway in, and moved in and out fairly easily now because of how wet she’d been even before the added blood. He felt his balls start to tighten already, but he didn’t want this to end just yet. It was her first time, after all.Max exhaled in relief as he pulled out of her. He looked down, smirked at the blood on his cock, and shifted downwards to admire his handiwork. Her lower lips were red and irritated with her swollen clit between them, and blood trickled out of her freshly deflowered hole. He stuck his tongue inside her, tasting her blood and juices, then licked from her pubic mound to the bottom of her ribs, leaving a bloody trail behind.He kissed her stomach as his thumb made its way through her curls to rub the little nerve center again, and she shuddered. He chuckled against her skin and worked two fingers inside her, making her cringe in pain. He rubbed her for a while before he moved his head back down and sucked her clit into his mouth. He assaulted it mercilessly with his tongue as he continued fingering her, whipping up her inexperienced nerves into a frenzy. She bit down hard on her lip trying to resist, but little gasps and moans escaped her through breaths that became heavier and heavier until her hips began to buck with the force of an unwanted orgasm.She looked away as she trembled, clearly humiliated by how easily he was able to hijack her own bodily responses. He grinned at the blush on her chest and crawled back up to kiss her and make her taste herself.“Alright, Max,” Billy said against her lips, “I gave you two. My turn.”Max braced herself, but he reentered her with more ease than before. He immediately pushed in deeper, making her clutch the covers and cringe.“It’s too deep,” she protested.“Not even all the way in yet.”She threw her head back and whined. “I can’t take any more.”“What did I say about trying?” he said, gripping her hips hard as he pushed in even deeper. She dug her heels into the bed, trying to push herself up and away from him.“Where do you think you’re going?”“It hurts,” she wept.“I told you: relax, and it’ll hurt less.”He tried to push in more and she pushed herself away again. In a flash of anger, he retaliated with a savage thrust of his hips, abruptly slamming into her all the way and hitting the spot he knew was painful for most girls. Some liked it, but judging by Max’s shriek and the way her entire body stiffened, she was part of the former group.She was reacting like he had literally stabbed her. She hyperventilated and wept harder than she had yet, looking around the room like she could find a way out.“I told you what would happen if you didn’t behave,” he said.“I think you broke something,” she wept, clutching her lower abdomen. The way her cunt clenched around him when he did it was incredible. He wanted to do it again, but even though he thought she was being dramatic, he’d let her off the hook, this time.He leaned over her and kept going at her, deep, but not all the way to the bottom. She made pained noises with each thrust.“Shit, Max,” he groaned, “you’re so fucking tight.”He was close. He wanted to kiss her, but her mouth was covered in snot now from crying. He increased his speed and leaned down to suck another mark into her neck.Then he came back up so he was face to face with her, and kissed her below her eye.“Gonna come inside you, Max.”She stiffened again. “No—you can’t,” her voice broke, “I’m not on birth control."Billy ignored her and kept thrusting, the fear in her eyes bringing him close to the edge.“Billy, don’t!” she begged, “please, anywhere else, please.” She was pushing against his hip bone again in desperation. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them up by her head.Finally, he thrust in too far one more time and she cried out in pain as she clenched hard around him, and Billy buried his face in her hair and let out a long, guttural grunt as his eyes rolled into the back of his head with the full-body force of his orgasm.By the time his peak was over, he could feel her limbs had gone limp. She’d given up. Her head fell to the side as she stared at the wall, sobbing quietly. The pillow was almost entirely darkened with tears.He laid on top of her for a little while, resting his cock in her warmth and enjoying how she tightened slightly with each sob.“How could you do this to me?” she asked in little more than a whisper.Billy pushed her hair back and nestled his lips up to her ear, kissing, licking, then biting her earlobe.“Do this to you?” he asked, “What about what I did for you? Or did you forget you came twice?”He pressed his cheek against hers, and felt it warm up. She knew he was right, even if she was ashamed of it.“Yeah,” he smiled, “you’re fucking mine, Max.”He pulled out of her and ran his hand along his cock, wiping off the mix of her wetness, her blood and his cum. He squeezed her breast with the same hand, leaving a palm print of fluids, and wiped the rest on her ribs.“Sorry to break it to you,” he said, getting up to grab the cigarettes and lighter from his jeans on the floor, “but I’m gonna be the only one that can get you there, now.”She didn’t say anything. She didn’t look at him.Billy pulled his jeans on, lit a cigarette and sat back on the bed beside her. She curled up away from him, covering herself with a blanket.He rubbed her back. “You might as well stop fighting it. I’ll have my fun regardless, but you could have it, too. But if you tell anyone, I’ll make you wish you were dead.”She ignored him again. He thought about putting his cigarette out on her to show her what happens when she doesn’t listen to him. But as soon as the idea came to him, another one joined it. He spotted her Polaroid camera on her closet shelf and picked it up.“Max,” he said, “turn around.” She ignored him again. He took his cigarette out of his mouth and touched the burning tip between her shoulder blades. She yelped and jumped violently, scooting back into the corner of the bed and covering herself with the blanket.“What the fuck!” she screamed, “Haven’t you hurt me enough?!”“Take the blanket off,” he said, putting the cigarette back in his mouth and holding the camera. Her eyes grew wide.Billy shrugged. “Photo or burns. Your choice.”Her bottom lip quivered. “How many burns?”Billy raised his eyebrows. She was actually considering it. “As many as I want.”She ran her hands through her hair and started sobbing again. He took a step toward her and she flinched.“Okay, okay,” she sputtered through tears and threw the blanket aside.She was sitting on the bed against the wall, makeup running down her cheeks and her long, disheveled hair covering her tits.“Move your hair behind your shoulders,” he said.She did as he asked, and the camera flashed and spit out a polaroid. Billy removed it and tossed it on her bedside table. “Alright, now open your legs.”“Billy—““Just do it. You know what happens if you don’t.”She shook her head tearfully. “Why are you doing this?”“Insurance,” he said, “no one’s gonna see these but us, as long as you keep your mouth shut. If you don’t, copies will start turning up around school, the skatepark…”Her shoulders shook with quiet, suppressed sobs.“I’m not gonna tell you again,” he said.She shifted and reluctantly spread her legs. He smirked and snapped the photo.Max radiated hatred as she watched Billy smile and remove the photo from her camera.“Good,” he said, grabbing the other photo from the table and bending to pick his shirt up off the ground. “Those sheets are gonna be a mess. You should change them.”His tone was chillingly casual. Without saying the words, he was telling her that this was her new normal.She watched him look her over once more, and for a moment was terrified he’d start on her all over again. But he just winked and shot her a smug smirk before he finally turned and left her room, shutting the door behind him.Max didn’t dare to move for a few seconds. She just stared at the door, trembling and crying quietly, listening to Billy’s footsteps fade away down the hall.The amount of violence he’d just unleashed in such a short amount of time shook her to her core. This afternoon, she had left the Mayfield-Hargrove house only feeling like a prisoner, but tonight, she had actually become one. She wanted to think it couldn’t get worse, but she knew that was wrong.She tried to think her way out of this new situation, but the pain clouded her mind. There was so much of it, and it came from everywhere: the angry bite marks on her breasts that were already bruising, the stinging burn on her back, her throat, which hurt with each swallow where he’d strangled her, and her face was tender from being slapped and slammed against the wall.But by far the worst pain came from her abused sex and the horrible, sickly ache deep inside it where he’d gone too far…she didn’t know if this was normal, or if he had torn or broken something. The pain had been explosive; she could swear she’d felt it all the way up to her throat. She had no idea what it was but it hurt like hell. She felt sick thinking about him so deep inside her, and that feeling of him filling her with—
Oh God.
With the reminder of what he’d done, she threw herself to her knees on the floor and tried frantically to push his cum out. She bounced up and down, desperately trying to shake it loose. He’d been so deep when he did it that she didn’t even know if it would work, but after some time wiggling and shaking and pushing, she felt it sliding out. It dripped onto her carpet and down her thigh, copious white mixed with just as much red. She stuck a finger inside herself, cringing as she felt around, trying get the rest out.When she was done, she looked down at her trembling hand now streaked with her blood and his come, and started to weep again.This was beyond humiliation. Not only had he taken her first time from her, turned an incredible night into the worst of her life, come inside her without protection…before tonight, she didn’t even know it was possible to be forced into an orgasm. Even though she had always found Billy physically attractive, his personality had done a very thorough job of eradicating that attraction. Was it some kind of a subconscious thing? Or had her body simply betrayed her? He insisted she wanted it…did she?No. Absolutely not. Her body felt pleasure, but her heart felt black and sick with despair, humiliation, and, most of all, fear.Billy wouldn’t stop at tonight. She was sure of it.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Max grimaced at the unwelcome sun entering her room. She had barely slept, her head was pounding, and every part of her body seemed to radiate some measure of pain. It was hard to tell which discomfort was from the hangover and which was from her stepbrother’s assault.Her hair was still a little wet from the long, hot shower she’d taken hours ago, in which she tried and failed to feel clean after what Billy did. She had sat in that shower for at least an hour, her head resting on her knees, watching her blood darken the water as it rushed into the drain.Max would never forget the sight of herself in the mirror before that shower. Her eyes were red, puffy, and surrounded by smudged eye makeup, the right side of her face was bright red where Billy and the wall had hit her, and black tracks of mascara ran from her eyes past her lips, which were red and fuller than normal from his rough kisses and bites. Her chest and abdomen were smeared in the blood he’d wiped on her, and her breasts were a splotchy red and pink, starting to turn purple in spots where he’d bitten too hard.She had scrubbed off the makeup and the fluids, but there were things that wouldn’t so easily disappear down the drain.Max had always imagined losing her virginity to someone she really liked. She didn’t even need to love them; she’d seen her mom go through so many failed relationships that she wasn’t even sure there was such a thing as real love. All she wanted was for her first to be nice, cute, and gentle. Steve was all of those things. But he wouldn’t want her if he knew about this. Who would?Another tear joined the others on her pillow. She thought she’d be out of them by now.Pangs of hunger soon made themselves known among all the other aches. Max sat up and got to her feet, wincing at the pains, dull and sharp, ricocheting throughout her body. She grabbed a flannel from her dresser and shrugged it on, buttoning every button like it was some kind of armor.When she got to the door, she paused, listening for movement in the hall. Hearing none, she quietly opened the door and stepped into the hall, unconsciously clutching her sleeves. She walked toward the kitchen, cringing at every creak of the floorboards, but it didn’t seem like Billy was home.She gained confidence and saw that two pans had been left out: a large portion of bacon and scrambled eggs. Strange—Billy never made more than single portions of breakfast. Had he made it for her?She looked around nervously. Despite her lack of appetite, the hangover demanded food. She grabbed a plate and loaded it up, filled a large glass with water and retreated back to her room.Max ate on her floor, shoving the food in her mouth quickly to try and outrun her nausea. When she finished she sat back with her eyes closed, trying to relax and take deep breaths. Her hand rested on her lower abdomen, which still radiated a dull ache from inside.Suddenly, she heard the familiar growl of Billy’s Camaro approaching the house. Her stomach flipped, threatening to send the bacon and eggs back up, and she hurriedly got up and locked her door. She stood, frozen, listening to the front door creak open and the jangle of his keys hitting the entryway table. The sound of his booted footsteps on the hardwood floor got closer.She jumped violently as her doorknob rattled.“Max,” he barked, “open the door.”Her heart threw itself against her ribs as she held her breath, unable to stop herself from trembling. What could he possibly want?“Not gonna say it again,” he said, the casually threatening tone making her self preservation instincts shift. She knew it would be worse for her if she ignored him.She took a deep breath and unlocked the door, opening it slowly with her foot behind it in case he tried to push his way inside.“Don’t lock this door anymore,” he said.Max scowled at him. “What do you want?”“Morning to you, too,” he said, smirking, “here.” He held out a small bottle, and Max took it. It was concealer.“What the hell is this for?” she snarled.He pointed to the side of his face. “Look in the mirror, you’ll figure it out. Put it on, get dressed. I’ll take you to the clinic."She blinked at him. “What?”“That clinic, off Lincoln. Figured you’d want to get on the pill.”Max opened her mouth but was too shocked to speak for a moment. “I—I never said I wanted that.”“Would you rather be pregnant?”Billy stared at her coldly, and she stared back, at a loss. Her lungs felt empty, and her mouth had dried up. Her instinct last night had been correct; he wouldn’t stop. This was her life now.“Billy, you—you can’t keep doing this. I’ll—”“You’ll what?”“I’ll call the cops.”Billy scoffed. “The same cops whose pensions my dad just saved?”“Our—our parents,” she said weakly, knowing that was an even worse answer than the first, “I’ll—““How many times have you been busted for sneaking out and partying, Max? My dad already thinks you’re a slut, and a boozer like your mom. He won’t believe you for a minute.”Max felt lightheaded. He was right. Even when they weren’t as outwardly misogynist as Neil Hargrove, the police weren’t inclined to believe women. She had seen high profile rape and assault cases play out in the news; even if, by some miracle, a man got tried and convicted, the woman’s name was the one dragged through the mud. She was maligned, blamed, ostracized…worse off than when she started.She felt hot tears rising as she tried and failed to think of another way out.“And I already told you what happens if you tell anyone,” he said, “Even if someone does believe you, it’ll take time. I don’t need a lot of time to make your life hell, Max.”It was true. She was trapped.She didn’t notice him raise his hand, and she flinched when he touched her face softly, wiping away a tear.“It doesn’t have to be hard,” he said, “you’d enjoy it if you quit resisting.”“You fucking attacked me,” she spat, smacking his hand away, “My entire body hurts. You—”“That’s your fault. You’re only in pain because you didn’t listen. I told you to relax, you didn’t. I told you not to move, you moved. Actions have consequences. Now, cover up those bruises and let’s go. I don’t have all day.”He took out a cigarette from his pocket and pointed to his watch before he walked back down the hall. She gaped after him, stunned at how casual he was about blowing up her entire life.

The clinic visit hadn’t taken long at all. Max almost hoped that the doctor would notice something, get suspicious about the makeup that was uneven on one side, her turtleneck pulled up too high…but the place was very busy. The doctor hadn’t done more than ask Max a few questions before she wrote her a prescription and bid her goodbye. Honestly, she wasn’t sure what she would have done if the doctor did express concern.No, no one was going to notice something was off, except maybe her friends. She’d have to come up with a convincing lie for when one of them spotted a bruise or something.She mulled it over as she lay curled up on her bed, as she had been for the last eight hours. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast; Billy had ordered pizza, but her appetite was entirely gone. She just sat in her room, slowly getting homework done in-between trying and failing to nap.Max longed for peaceful unconsciousness, but it was elusive. On the edges of sleep she was often jolted awake by a half-conscious, reflexive panic. Except it wasn’t the feeling of falling she imagined, it was the feeling of Billy’s hands on her, inside her.Just as she started to drift off again, she was startled awake by the very real sound of Billy pounding on her door.“Open the fucking door, Max.”She froze briefly, only just remembering he had told her not to lock the door. He’d be angry again, like he was last night. She was only in an oversized flannel and underwear. She frantically grabbed her jeans off the floor and pulled them on before reluctantly opening the door.Immediately his hand shot out and shoved her backwards. “What did I tell you about locking the door?” he said, stepping into her room and closing the door behind him.She didn’t answer him. The look in his eyes terrified her. Surely he couldn’t think she could endure tonight what she did last night. She knew he knew she was hurting, but the question was, did he care?“Take off your clothes,” he commanded. She shrank back, shaking her head desperately.“No—Billy, come on, I’m still bleeding from last night. The pain is bad—I think you tore something—please.”He stifled a smirk, clearly wearing her agony as a badge of honor. “Guess I could always fuck your ass instead.”She felt like he’d tossed a bucket of ice over her. “No!” “Relax, not tonight,” he said, “If you do what I say, I’ll be gentler this time. You remember what happens when you fight it.”A frightened sob jumped up from her chest as she shook her head and backed away from him.“It hurts so much,” she wept, “please.” She winced as he gently put his hands on her shoulders.“Relax,” he said, tracing his fingers over her collarbones and along her bruised neck, “just follow my lead, it’ll be fine.”God, she had never believed anyone less. His hand wove through her hair to cradle her head, and he brought her trembling lips to his greedy ones.Billy’s tongue tasted of bitter tobacco smoke as he forced it against hers. Max tried to pull away from the zealous initial contact, but he closed his fist around the hair at the back of her head to keep it in place. His other hand trailed down to undo the button on her jeans and unzip them.He parted their lips slightly and looked into her eyes. She looked into his, and had the unwelcome thought that the green-flecked blue irises under his dark lashes were beautiful. Dangerous things were often quite attractive.“Take off your shirt,” he ordered. Fury and hatred burned so hot within her, but the practical side of her brain smothered it before she could act. She wanted to struggle, to try to hurt him as much as he’d hurt her, but deep down she knew he’d just overpower her and retaliate tenfold.No, she was cornered. This was happening again, with or without her consent, and resisting would just make it worse.Max raised her shaking hands to her shirt and started to undo the buttons. Billy breathed hot breath into her mouth for a moment before he planted his lips on hers again.Billy’s impatient hand moved from Max’s head down to her shirt to undo a few buttons before he grabbed the flannel and pulled it over her head. She covered her bare breasts with her hands and he pulled them away, grinning at all the marks he’d left on them.She scowled at him, but his eyes weren’t on her face anymore. He bent to pull her jeans down, and she wanted nothing more than to knee him in the face and run. But she simply stepped out of them, feeling a miserable pang of defeat as she did.He stood back up and took his shirt off, stopping to look at her body before gripping her hips and pulling them to his.“God damn, Max,” he said, “if the guys at school knew this was under those baggy clothes, you’d be a goner.” He ran a thumb along her softly defined abs. “You ever touch yourself?”There was a purr to his voice that sent electricity down her spine despite her abject disgust. What was wrong with her? This disconnect between her brain and her body kept happening, and it couldn’t be normal. But this situation wasn’t exactly normal, either. She pouted at the floor, hoping her cheeks didn’t look as warm as they felt.Billy tugged her hair, forcing her to tilt her head up and look at him. Her reticence was answer enough, apparently. He smiled, shaking his head in disbelief.“Jesus Christ. You’re a virgin that’s never sucked dick, never rubbed one out…what the hell have you been doing all these years?”Max refused to meet his eyes. “Some of us have other things on our minds.”“You’re lucky I’m here, then,” he said, and let her go. She backed away slowly, bringing her arms back up to sheepishly cover her breasts and watching him take off his jeans.He tossed them on the floor and closed the distance between them, grabbing Max’s arm and leading her to the bed. She nervously glanced down at his boxer briefs, and though he didn’t seem close to ready yet, the outline of his bulge triggered a fight or flight response, and she tensed up when he tried to force her to sit on the bed.He narrowed his eyes at her. “I thought you didn’t want me to fuck you.”“I don’t!”“Then sit.”Max obeyed him. Billy sat down on the bed after her and scooted backwards, then opened his legs and pulled her backwards between them, so her back was against his chest. Now, there was nothing but two thin layers of fabric separating them, and she could feel the thing she feared against her, laying in wait.Billy reached around her hips and began to pull her underwear down before her hand jumped to stop him reflexively.“What are you gonna do?” she asked, failing to disguise the tremor in her voice.He exhaled in frustration, grabbed either side of the cotton undergarments and roughly tugged them down to her thighs.“Get them off,” he said.She bit back a whimper, trying not to think of how horribly vulnerable and humiliated she felt, and did as he said. She felt him smile against her ear as he caught a glimpse of the pantyliner that was spotted with blood when she tugged her underwear past her knees and off her ankles.“You weren’t kidding,” he said, making her flush with rage.“No shit,” she seethed.He brushed her long hair to one side and kissed her neck. “I’ll make it up to you.” He grabbed both of her hands, guiding her left hand to squeeze her breast, and the right to his mouth. He sucked on her fingers and got them wet before he took them out and guided them down to her mound. She recoiled and tensed up, realizing what he meant to do.“I’ll show you how it’s done,” he said.Billy held her fingers and traced them up and down her lower lips, teasing her. She held her breath when he brushed them past her sore entrance.“I’ve made a lot of girls come,” he said, “and they’re all different…gotta figure out what works for each one. But you’ve all got this—“ He brought Max’s fingers to her clit and pressed hard on it, making her flinch and inhale sharply. He pressed her fingers down on either side where her lips began and rubbed up and down for a bit, then moved back to the nerve center itself and started to make slow, deliberate circles around it. She felt a small, nascent flare of warmth in her belly.“You’re lucky I give a shit,” he whispered, “most guys don’t even know where this is. We get off whether you do or not.”She felt his cock twitch behind her. How was she supposed to ‘get off’ when she was worried he’d try to ram that thing inside her again?He pinched her nipple and tweaked it, drawing a small, pained groan from her.Max’s heart was already racing with anxiety, but something strange made it skip a beat and throbbed the heat within her when she looked down at Billy’s sinewy forearms and hands holding her.It couldn’t be desire. It had to be some kind of survival response, her body preparing her for the assault that it suspected was coming.Despite her denial, Billy must have sensed it somehow and began to speed up his ministrations. There was a definite sensation building within her now—but she wouldn’t call it pleasure. Pleasure implied you’d be happy to receive it. This stimulation was feverish, intense, and undeniable, but she didn’t want it.Her breathing started to get heavier, which she hoped he wouldn’t notice, but of course he did.“Don’t fight it,” he said, and bit the top of her ear.He was chipping away at her resistance, and part of her felt she should let him. Max closed her eyes, feeling her stubborn defiance slip further and further away as Billy kept up the pressure and rhythm with his right hand and groped her greedily with his left.An involuntary whine slipped out as her head fell back against his shoulder.“That’s it, Max,” he growled, “come for me.”His voice dropped the match on the gasoline his deft hands had poured. She writhed beneath him and couldn’t stop a cry escaping her lips as he pushed her over the edge, and kept pushing her. Her hips jerked and she clutched her own breast without his guidance.As soon as she started to come down, he let her hands go, slid his own down and slipped two fingers inside her now slick entrance. She gasped at the unexpected sting of pain and convulsed with the bolt of electricity he sent through her as he ground his palm on her clit and started grinding his crotch against her.“No…” she moaned, in a voice much more breathy than she would’ve liked. Billy vigorously finger fucked her, and it hurt, but she was apparently not so far down the hill as she thought. When he curled his fingers inside her and rubbed her front wall while vigorously grinding his palm into her clit, Max began to pant as the ruthless arousal hastened her to another shame-laden peak. She clutched the sheets and tears formed at the corners of her eyes as her injured walls shivered and contracted around his thick fingers, but he didn’t let up, and multiple shudders ripped through her.Billy was able to sustain the reverberating electricity for longer than Max felt like it should last, and he held her close as she came down. Her chest heaved violently and she took in greedy breaths, trying to calm her body down as tears rolled down her cheeks. She could feel her racing heartbeat in her neck and ears.Max felt spent, but she knew he wasn’t done with her. She could feel his stiffened length behind her and felt anxiety grip her throat.Billy wrapped his arms around her chest and waist and laid back, pulling her with him so her back was still against his chest, then he rolled over so he was on top of her. He sat up on his knees and pulled her up so she was on all fours, and her blood went cold when she looked over her shoulder and saw him pull off his underwear.She immediately tried to propel herself forward, away from him and his erection, but he grabbed both of her legs, pulled her backwards and shoved her legs apart. She felt the tip of his cock, wet with pre-cum, and her breath caught with fright.“Don’t!” she pled, unsuccessfully trying to pull away from him in any direction she could. His fingers had hurt enough; this would be torture, even though she could feel her own wetness dripping down her leg. She sat back on her knees and tried to turn around, throwing her elbow and fists back at him, but he grabbed her biceps and forced her to face forward again.“Stop it, you’ll be fine,” he said, pushing her back over on all fours, “you’re soaking wet.”She let out a pitiful sound between a scream and a whimper and resumed her desperate escape attempts. Shortly after, stars exploded in her vision and her arms buckled beneath her, sending her face first into the pillow, knocked out.A white hot jolt of pain between her legs shocked her back to consciousness. She gasped awake, confused, but quickly putting together that Billy must have hit her in the back of the head. Whether it was with a hard object or his fist, though, she didn’t know. Where it had connected stung terribly, but so did the small passage that his cock was once again stretching out to the point of agony.They were both prone on the bed, his entire body pressed up against hers and his warm, smoky breath blowing into her ear.She was pinned, and could only shake her legs and issue strangled sobs as he fucked her mercilessly. She was wet enough for him to move in and out easily, but he was still too big and she hadn’t recovered from last night. The tear in the back of her opening stung horribly as it was irritated by the friction and was stretched over and over.She screamed and kicked her legs, biting the pillow.“You’re only making it harder on yourself. Fucking relax, before I have to teach you another lesson.”“Billy,” she wailed, “please stop.” He ignored her. Politeness wasn’t getting her anywhere, and her fury circled back to temporarily edge out the hopelessness. “Get off me!” she shrieked, kicking her legs again.Max was surprised when he actually paused after pushing uncomfortably deep inside her. She gritted her teeth and took in sharp breaths.He abruptly pulled out and she relaxed her tense muscles slightly, though she was suspicious. What would he—
*CRACK*
A fiery stripe of pain shot across her behind as Billy lashed her with his belt. She screamed and tried to scramble away but he straddled her upper back and sat on it, pinning her down on her tender breasts and squeezing air out of her chest.Max kicked her feet and dug her nails into his legs in panic, only able to let out panicked vowel sounds as her chest compressed.He hit her another three times, faster than she could think. Her mind felt slow, focused as it was on not suffocating.“Stop,” she croaked weakly, “I can’t breathe.”He lifted up slightly so less of his weight was on her, and she gasped air back into her lungs.“Alright, I’ll let you choose: I keep fucking you for a little while, or I keep at it with this belt for as long as I want.”Max trembled and wept into the pillow.He hit her again, harder than last time, eliciting a despairing wail.“Which one?” he pressed.“Fuck me.” she sobbed.“Ask nicely.”“Please…” she said quietly.“Beg me to fuck you.”She groaned. He reared back with the belt, making her gasp anxiously.“Please fuck me,” she cried.“I don’t think you want it enough. Tell me what you want and where you want it.”Between the fear, pain, humiliation and hatred, Max didn’t know what was making her tremble anymore.“I want your cock inside my pussy,” she said, the words tasting like bile on her tongue, “Please.”“That’s better.” He got off her, slid to the edge of the bed and pulled her down to kneel on the floor with him. He made her face the bed, bent her over it and he lined himself up again as Max’s tense muscles shook her bones like it was below freezing.A variety of pained utterances fell out of Max’s mouth as he sunk into her slowly, stretching her wider and deeper than she would have thought possible two days ago. He gripped her hip with one hand and groped her sore ass cheek with the other as he huffed in pleasure.“Christ, fuck,” he breathed, gradually easing himself all the way in. She arched her back, trying to accommodate him but he still bottomed out as he pulled her hips to his, putting uncomfortable pressure on her cervix. He leaned over her and started rubbing her swollen clit again, immediately eliciting a tremor and a whine from her. The pressure was building fast as he languidly moved in and out of her.Despite everything, the new and incomparable feeling of being so full combined with the sound of his animalistic grunts and possessive touch pushed all her nerves to the front lines. Her lip trembled in humiliation as she felt tension build deep within her and knew she was too spent to fight it. Billy parked himself deep inside her, made a V with his fingers and slid them within her lips, moving from either side of her clit all the way down near her entrance, and back up again. She gritted her teeth as the new technique jarred her senses and pushed a shaky exhale out of her.She felt his hot breath on the back of her ear as he chuckled. “God, you’re so wet. Two days in and you’re already a slut for my cock.”Max grunted in protest and squirmed angrily but he just increased the pressure and brought his fingers back up to her clit, furiously stimulating it. Her breath hitched as irresistible heat spread quickly under her skin.“You fucking love it” he purred, “I can feel it.”She whimpered from both the intensity building past the point of comfort and the pain from her torn walls wildly contracting around him. Billy leaned forward to roughly bite her ear, effectively throwing a sledgehammer through her resistance; it pushed her into a delirious release that reverberated from the nerves under his hand up through her chest. She cried out and clutched the mattress as her pelvis jerked fitfully and her back arched and pressed up against his torso.As she started to come down, he began to thrust again and she vaguely registered his breathing become more feral. It wasn’t long before she felt him lurch forward with a guttural moan and bite the back of her shoulder as he spasmed inside of her. His hips jerked forward into hers a few times as he panted through his powerful climax.Billy didn’t pull out right away. He just knelt there, leaning against her and sucking the sweaty skin of her neck into his mouth, seeming to enjoy remaining inside her for as long as he could.He finally slid out of her and pulled away, letting her fold down to sit on her calves, and rest her head against the side of the bed in shameful exhaustion. It didn’t take long for his cum to trickle out and down onto her leg. Gravity had been on her side, this time.He pulled on his jeans and lit a cigarette. She looked over her shoulder, nervous that he would try to burn her again.Billy looked at her and sighed, releasing a cloud of smoke. “Jesus, you’re stubborn.”She stared daggers at him.He took a drag of his cigarette. “I got you there anyway, didn’t I? Imagine how you’d feel if you didn’t fight it.”“You have no idea what this feels like,” she said quietly.He shrugged. “Like I said, I’ll enjoy myself either way. You could, too.”Billy leant down, grabbed his shirt and belt, and left her room. Max wiped her wetness and his cum off her legs with a tissue and realized it was once again mixed with blood. She crawled back up onto her bed and curled up, placing her cold hands on her stinging ass cheeks, which were hot to the touch.She felt too depleted to start sobbing again. She simply lay there, leaking quiet tears into the pillow, and ruminating on the clash between her rational and emotional mind.Billy was right, she was stubborn. Resisting had gotten her nothing but injuries; the logical way of surviving this ordeal with the least amount of pain was to submit, and allow him to break her. But her obstinance was not so easily overcome.Maybe it was stupid but, somehow, the image of becoming his docile plaything terrified her more than the pain.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

After another failed attempt to make herself feel clean in the shower, Max limped into the kitchen and swallowed four tablets of ibuprofen before going back into her room. There didn’t seem to be a way to walk normally that didn’t irritate her injuries. She sat on her bed and winced at the painful reminder of the welts on her backside. The impulse rose to start crying again, but what good had that done so far?Pain, tears, shame…was this going to be the routine every night? Billy wouldn’t even give her a day to recover, and he wouldn’t let her lock her door. She wasn’t safe in her own house. She knew she had to get away, at least for a little while. She couldn’t take another assault in this state, and needed time to heal. He wouldn’t give that to her, so she would have to take it. It was a risk, but one that felt necessary.Max made up her mind: she’d go to Eddie’s. He’d have some crappy weed she could smoke to take the edge off, and maybe stronger painkillers, too. It was half past nine, so she could probably make it there by ten. If Eddie had been at the skatepark today, he’d be home by then.She stood up and did a double take at her reflection in the mirror above her dresser, having temporarily forgotten that her appearance was now a problem. There was a dark red bruise on the right side of her face from her eyebrow to her cheekbone, with a purplish crescent at the edge of her eye socket.Her neck was a mess. He’d left a dark red hickey on top of the light purple choke marks from yesterday. She’d just wear her turtleneck and sleep in it, but Eddie would think it was weird if she was wearing makeup, and she couldn’t touch it up all night. She also wasn’t walking normally.She mulled it over as she got dressed in her black turtleneck, a flannel and her loosest jeans. She could say she face planted trying a new trick…the lack of accompanying scrapes would give her away, though. Or, maybe she hadn’t been paying attention, and skated into a sign or something? But she was barely over 5 feet—what sign was that low, and close to the pavement?Then she remembered a close call she’d had once with a street lamp. Those were right on the edge of the sidewalk, easy to run into if you were distracted. Yeah…that would have to work.With the lie secured, she made sure her unfinished homework was inside her backpack, and threw in some sweatpants and extra pads before she zipped the bag shut.Now, the other problem: Billy. If she just left without saying anything, he’d probably think she had gone to the cops. Or he would think she ran away. She’d have to leave a note if she didn’t want him wreaking havoc around Hawkins looking for her.She grabbed her notebook and a pen and thought about what to say. After a few minutes, she settled on something brief, but hopefully reassuring enough that it wouldn’t make him too angry:

Gone away. Need time to heal.

If anyone asks, I’ll say I skated into a lamp post.

Please don’t look for me. I’ll come home with you Monday after school.

- Max

Max read it over about five times before she finally tore the page from her notebook and taped it to the doorjamb, so it would be the first thing he saw when he opened the door.She pushed her window open, tossed her backpack and skateboard outside, and slowly, carefully eased herself out onto the grass, cringing when she had to briefly straddle the sill.Eddie was hunched over his guitar, consistently screwing up the “Electric Eye” solo he was trying to learn, when he heard a knock on the door over his own swearing.It was late, but wasn’t unheard of to have visitors at this hour. People came around after dark to buy drugs since they knew his uncle worked nights at the plant. Eddie leaned the guitar against his bed and jogged to the door. But when he opened it, he was surprised to see the pale redhead looking up at him.“Max? What—woah. Your face. Are you okay?”“I’m fine,” she said, rolling her eyes, “skated into a lamp post yesterday.”Eddie cringed. “Shit. Ouch. Come on in.”He stepped aside and let her in, noticing her turtleneck was up weirdly high, but he didn’t say anything. She was tiny, it was cold.“You skate all the way here in the dark?”“Yeah,” she said, propping her board beside the door and rubbing her arms to warm up. “Do you think I could crash on your couch tonight?”Eddie tried to read her face. “Everything alright?”“Billy has a girl over. I don’t feel like listening to them all night.”“Ah,” Eddie nodded, “fair. Sure, mi trailer su trailer.”“Thanks. Also…” A strange look flashed across her face, like she was embarrassed, or guilty. “I know I’ve never bought from you before, but do you have, like, painkillers? Something stronger than Tylenol?”Eddie frowned. “It hurts that bad?”Max nodded. “I hit the back of my head when I fell, too. Feel it.”She leaned her head over and winced as Eddie gently touched the back of her skull, where there was a pronounced knot.“Shit, Mayfield. Did you get checked out at all? You’re probably concussed.”Max shrugged. “I feel fine besides the pain. Not nauseous or anything.”Eddie shifted uncomfortably. His dealer Rick did give him a small amount of oxycodone to sell a few months ago, but he hadn’t sold any of it. He didn’t want to. That shit was dangerous.But Max wouldn’t ask unless she was desperate. Advil must not be doing the job.“Alright,” he said, “I’ll give you a few. No more than that, though. You have to be really careful with this, Max. I’m serious. They say it’s as addictive as dope.”Max nodded. “I’ll be careful. How much? And don’t give me a discount, either. I’m paying you what it’s worth.”He hated this. He didn’t want to charge his friend, but he couldn’t exactly afford to eat the cost himself. “Let’s call it $50, for 6 pills” he said, “but don’t worry about it right now. I’d offer you a beer but you shouldn’t drink with this stuff. Why don’t you find a movie or something we can watch?”“Will do,” she said, and went over to kneel in front of the stack of VHS tapes beside the TV. Eddie thought she was moving more slowly and deliberately than usual, like she’d hurt her leg or back or something in the fall, too. Skaters always downplayed their injuries…it must be worse than she was letting on.As Eddie walked to the small safe in his room, he couldn’t shake a strange feeling. He didn’t know why, but he felt like Max was hiding something besides an injury. She was barely making eye contact with him, and seemed on edge. But maybe she was just nervous about buying drugs for the first time.He opened the safe and moved aside the little bags of Mary Jane to find the orange bottle of pills at the back, then grabbed them and shook six out into a small baggie.He frowned at the bag, shut the safe and grabbed a rolled joint from his drawer.“Okay, Red,” he said, walking back to the living room, brandishing the joint, “how about we smoke this first? See if that helps? Let’s keep oxy as the last resort.”Max nodded and smiled. “That sounds good,” she said, and held up a VHS of Singin’ in the Rain, “I had no idea the Munsons were musical fans. I love this movie.”“We can watch it if you want,” he chuckled, "It’s my uncle’s, haven’t seen it since I was a kid.”“Your uncle,” Max said, “shit…he sleeps on the fold out here, right?”Eddie waved his hand in dismissal. “Don’t worry about it. You can have his bed, I’ll take the couch. He’s cool with sleeping in my room when people crash.”“You’re sure it’s okay?”“Sure I’m sure. Now let’s go smoke away the pain.”After finishing the joint between them, Max and Eddie had entirely forgotten about the plan to watch Singin’ in the Rain. Max had never been this high before, but then again she’d never really had more than a few puffs. Every thought she had seemed like the most important thing in the world, but it didn’t remain in her head for long at all, and when it slipped away she barely noticed. It was kind of nice not to have anything linger.It was a perfect state of mind to forget the last 24 hours. Every sensation felt far away, and lost in time, including the pain. She felt like she was floating above Eddie’s bed as she laid there, staring at the ceiling and listening as he played different riffs on his electric guitar from his spot on the floor. He connected the distortion pedal to his amp and when Max made the observation that the distorted E string sounded like Gonzo screaming, they both laughed so hard they cried.Eddie couldn’t believe Max hadn’t heard last year’s Judas Priest album and rushed into the living room to play his current favorite LP on the record player in the living room. In her haze, she followed him, feeling slightly motion sick as her mind seemed to communicate to her body that it was balancing on a boat deck. She laid down on the fold-out bed Eddie had set up for her, and listened as the record began playing.Eddie played air guitar and headbanged along with the track. Max watched him, for some reason finding his perfect lip syncing to be mesmerizing.He exhausted himself after a couple songs and laid back, lazily playing air drums. Max laid on her stomach, fixating on the vocal harmonies that sounded like an otherworldly instrument of their own.Eddie soon drifted off to sleep and Max was close behind. But one verse carried through the fog just before consciousness fully slipped away.

Now you are mine

In my control

One taste of your life

And I own your soul

You knew at first sight

You'd enjoy my attack

That with my first bite

There'd be no turning back

So come in my arms

I strike any hour

I will return

To trap and devour...

The sinister words echoed in her unfocused mind, and suddenly she was watching herself from afar, cowering as Billy cornered her in her room. She reached out, feeling like she could stop it, or change it somehow…but the strong current of fitful sleep dragged her away before she could.She slept deeply despite a plague of dark, formless dreams that left behind nothing but a vague sense of impending doom as they evaporated into the night.By Monday morning, Max felt significantly better. She’d spent Sunday lounging around Eddie’s trailer, doing homework, forcing him to do his for once, and watching movies.She still took the oxycodone from him, but resting had helped and she hadn’t needed to take it yet. Billy and her would have the house to themselves until next Wednesday. As she got ready for school, painting concealer over her bruise in the mirror, she felt certain she’d need it soon.Lunch had just ended, and Max had managed to avoid seeing Billy so far. At lunch, Steve asked her to come sit with him and she had, though she felt slightly uncomfortable around the curious looks coming from the group of popular kids, all of whom were acquaintances at best.They mostly asked about her skateboarding and California—softballs that she was happy to field. The guys seemed more curious about her than the girls did. Most of the girls seemed genuinely nice, but she caught a chill from a few that were likely suspicious of her as an outsider.Two cheerleaders in particular stood out to Max: Rebecca and Stacey. Max recognized Rebecca from seeing her leave Billy’s room once this summer. She was being particularly nice to Max, and Max thought it might be the case that the poor girl was still hung up on Billy, and trying to get on his stepsister’s good side. She felt sorry for her; Max had never seen Billy with the same girl more than twice. Women were disposable to him.Stacey, on the other hand, was considerably less warm. Last year, Max had actually assumed the head cheerleader had been dating Steve from the way she openly flirted with him in the hall soon after he and Nancy broke up. Stacey would not take kindly to some redheaded nobody taking what she thought was hers.She caught several students at other tables turn around to look at her, too. The prospect of making her relationship with Steve public frightened Max for this very reason. She didn’t belong here, at this table. She liked being under the radar. Nothing good came of drawing attention to yourself in the venomous snake pit that was high school.When Steve left her at her locker with lingering eye contact and a subtle squeeze of her hand, she felt a flutter in her stomach, and a smile lingered on her face as she grabbed her calculus textbook. Then, suddenly, her locker slammed shut. She jumped, and dropped the book when she looked up and saw Billy leaning against the lockers, staring at her.She felt the color drain from her cheeks and hastily bent down to pick up her book and the few pieces of paper that fell out of it. She stood up and stuffed the book in her bag, avoiding looking him in the eye.“Where the fuck did you go on Saturday?” he asked.“Does it matter?” she muttered, glancing around to make sure no one was looking or listening. She felt horribly exposed even with him this close to her in public. “I didn’t go to the hospital, which is where I would’ve needed to go if you didn’t leave me alone.”She gathered the courage to look up at him defiantly. Anyone passing by would think he was just vaguely disinterested in what she was saying, but she knew he was furious. They stared at each other for a moment before he pushed himself off the locker.“Don’t be late today,” he said, leaving her with a chill as he sauntered down the hall.Max exhaled the breath she’d been holding and reopened her locker with shaking hands.“Max?” A voice behind her made her jump again. It was Rita, who put up her hands in surrender when Max turned around so startled. “Woah.”“Sorry,” Max forced a smile onto her face, “Hi.”Rita frowned. “Are you alright? You look…pale.”Max sighed. “Not everyone can be blessed with your olive skin, Rita.”“You know what I mean. Did Billy say something shitty?”Max’s heart stuttered. Billy was a fucking idiot for coming up to her in public like that.“Huh?” she played dumb, “No, I’m fine, I just haven’t been sleeping great.”“What did Billy want?”Max shook her head. “Nothing—he just told me to be at the car on time since he has a date or something.” Max placed a couple notebooks from her bag back into her locker, eager to change the subject. “Anyway, sorry about lunch. Steve asked me to sit with him.”“I saw,” Rita smiled and nudged her, “I think there was actual steam coming out of Stacey Bergen’s ears.”Max cringed. “You think she’s angry?”Rita laughed. “Doy! She’s been going after Steve forever. But who gives a shit? Racist bitch told me to go back to the reservation once. Used to call me Tonto in middle school.”“Jesus,” Max glanced at Rita, who waved it off.“I survived. Just saying, I’m not shedding a tear for her broken heart. So, is this thing happening?!”Max stifled a smile and lowered her voice. “You can’t tell anyone yet. But Steve asked me to Homecoming on Friday.”Rita squealed loudly, turning heads.Max grimaced. “Jesus, chill out!”Rita laughed, seemingly unbothered by the strange looks thrown her way. Max wished she could be like that.“This is huge,” Rita whispered, “‘King Steve,’ of all people…I always said you’d do great things, Max.”Max chuckled and rolled her eyes.“Have you guys, you know…”A pit grew in Max’s stomach when she thought about what Rita implied.“No,” she said, “I would’ve told you.”“You’re damn right you would have. I expect a call within 12 hours when it happens.” She looked up at the clock and sighed. “We’d better get to Chapman’s.”Max shut her locker and walked with Rita. She couldn’t help but think about last spring, when Rita had lost her virginity to Robbie Connors at junior prom and told Max about it the very next day. Rita had been thrilled. She said it didn’t even hurt, and it was kind of weird, but great once she got used to it. Max would never be able to speak about her first time that way.Her friend’s excited chattering faded to the background as Max thought about the damage Billy had done already, and what more he would have planned for tonight.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy lit a cigarette as he leant against the Camaro and watched students slowly file out of the school. Part of him expected not to see Max, and was wary that she would run again. But he was pretty sure she wasn’t that stupid.Rebecca Carson waved at him as she walked across the parking lot. Billy tilted his chin up in acknowledgement and looked away. He wondered when she’d get the hint that he wasn’t interested. She’d been a decent lay but didn’t even make the summer’s top ten.He finally spotted Max, and flushed with anger when he saw who she was talking to as she walked outside. Harrington…of course. She had to have been with him these past two days.Max parted ways with Steve and was smiling to herself for a moment before she noticed Billy watching her and her face fell. His nostrils flared as he exhaled smoke and spotted Harrington look back over his shoulder at her.Max got in the passenger’s seat without looking at Billy, and he slid into the driver’s seat, started the car and pulled out of the parking space.“So you spent the weekend at Harrington’s.”Max closed her eyes in frustration. “Billy, I’ve never even been to his house.”“Did you let him fuck you?”Max sighed angrily. “What about ‘I need to heal’ don’t you get? Even if I was at Steve’s—which I wasn’t—I’m still in too much pain to even think about that. You’re the only one who doesn’t give a shit that you literally tore me open.”Billy felt a small swell of self satisfaction. As big as he was, he didn’t think he’d ever torn a girl before. But he’d never forced a girl to take him like he’d forced Max. Maybe he believed her about not having sex, but he didn’t buy that she hadn’t gone to Steve’s. Wherever she’d been, he would make her regret going there.“Unbutton your jeans,” he ordered as they exited the parking lot. Max looked at him in horror. She probably hoped he was joking. He shot her a look that made it clear he wasn’t.“Why?” she asked nervously.“Because you’re going to touch yourself until we get home, or I’m going to add to your punishment.”Max stared at him. “Billy—”“You think you can run away and not get punished?”“I had to! You wouldn’t leave me alone!”“Sooner you cooperate, the sooner you stop hurting. I keep telling you that, but you still don’t get it. So I guess I have to show you.”She shuddered as he said it and started to cry.He took a drag of his cigarette. “You can cry like a little bitch if you want, but you’re really gonna regret if you don’t do what I told you to, right now.”Max cried quietly as she reached down and unbuttoned her jeans.“Pull them down.”She pulled her jeans down a little so he could see her mound through her pink underwear as she reluctantly slid her hand underneath. He watched her feel around uncertainly before she figured it out and started to rub.Her face was flushed pink as she looked away, out of the passenger’s side window.Billy felt his cock twitch in anticipation. It wasn’t just the sight of her hand moving in her underwear that was making him hard—it was the whole situation. She was so afraid of him that she agreed to masturbate in his car, in front of him. Fear was clearly the key to getting her to do what he wanted.She wasn’t completely broken yet, though; he could still see the fire of defiance in her eyes. But even though her struggling turned him on, it would turn him on so much more if he could make her love it. She probably thought that was impossible, but when he touched her, she came way too quickly for someone who didn’t secretly want it.Billy genuinely believed he and Max both could have an incredible time together if she just gave in, but she was too stubborn to do it on her own. He just had to apply the right pressure, and really hammer it home how much she should be afraid of pissing him off. He had to beat the resistance out of her. She’d hate him for it, but as long as they both got what they wanted at the end of the day, who gave a shit which feelings were involved?He rolled his eyes watching her fingers move slowly, clearly doing the bare minimum. “You can do better than that,” he said.She scowled at him. “You haven’t exactly set the mood.”He shrugged. “You want me to go in dry, that’s your business.”Fury was evident in her eyes before it was replaced by fear, then finally hopelessness. She turned her face away, chest jumping with suppressed sobs as she started to move her fingers faster in small circles, like he’d shown her.His gaze flitted between the road and her desperate movements. It was taking a while, and she didn’t seem to be making much headway. She wasn’t remembering what worked.“Finger yourself,” he said, “grind onto your palm.”She pressed her lips together in indignation, but did as he said. He could see the small patch of burnt orange curls under the fabric as she pushed her fingers in and out of herself. She was unsure at first, but got slightly more comfortable. Billy smiled when he noticed her leg twitch slightly.She sat up straighter and started grinding against her palm. Billy watched pink creep up from her neck into her face as her breaths became heavier.“God damn, Max,” Billy growled, adjusting the crotch of his jeans, which was now uncomfortably tight, “that’s so fucking hot.”She bit her lip hard and lurched forward a little with the sound of his voice. She kept going, but seemed to plateau at the mini-climax before she started to come down and shame came back over her face.Perfect timing—they were pulling up to the house now. Billy parked and watched Max take her hand out of the undergarments that were now darkened with the fruits of her labor. Her hand glistened with wetness.“Lick it off,” he ordered. She gave him a miserable look before resigning, taking a deep breath and running her tongue from her palm to the tip of her finger, and putting her other finger in her mouth.Billy made a lustful noise at the back of his throat and exhaled. She hadn’t even touched him and Billy felt nearly ready to come. “Alright,” he said huskily, “get into my room.”Max’s bottom lip and her hands were trembling as she pulled up her jeans, opened the car door and hustled inside with him not far behind.Billy considered burning those baggy jeans as he watched her walk through the house and toss her backpack in her room before continuing to his room. He guessed it was better she kept that body a secret, but if he had his way she’d be in short skirts or skintight jeans and heels every day. He could probably make her do it at this point, but people would catch on to the change. The less questions, the better, if he planned on keeping this going.Max tried to steady her heartbeat as Billy walked in and shut the door behind him. She didn’t think she’d been in his room since the week they moved in. The room had a warm, musky smell now—his smell. It wasn’t unpleasant, but the smell and ambiance was so different from the other rooms that it didn’t feel like she was in her house. This was his domain.Billy walked up to Max and pulled her sweater over her head. She let him, then pulled down her already unbuttoned jeans herself and stepped out of them.“Good, you’re learning,” he smirked, taking his own shirt and jeans off.Max stared a hole in the ground, shaking with fear and the effort of suppressing every instinct she had to fight back. She was in survival mode. Billy had mentioned a ‘punishment,’ and given the pain he’d inflicted on her so far, she dreaded what he might have in mind. Maybe, if she complied, he’d go easy on her.When she glanced at him, her stomach twisted at the outline of his already hard cock being held up and to the side by his tight boxer briefs.He grabbed the back of her neck with one hand and her hips with the other, pulling her close and starting as he usually did, with a rough, intense kiss, making a point to rub his bulge on her stomach. He unhooked her bra and pulled it off, squeezing her breasts painfully as he crashed their lips back together and explored the inside of her mouth with his tongue.They backed up to his bed, and Max sat down after Billy released her bottom lip from his teeth. He pulled her forward to make her kneel on the floor instead, and backed her up so her calves were under the bed and her back was against the side. She felt trapped, with no room to back away as his hard cock sprang out of his underwear.He gathered a fistful of her hair and she closed her eyes, trying to somehow separate her mind from her body as she opened her mouth and felt his smooth tip hit her tongue.She took in as much as she could without gagging, and sucked with as much enthusiasm as she could manage to dissuade him from pushing in further. She wet her hands with her wetness and used them both to grip and pump his shaft. She chanced a glance up at him and saw him tilt his chin up and grin in ecstasy. It was working.“Shit,” he chuckled, “you’re a quick learner.” He tightened his grip on her hair as he thrust his hips forward. He hit the back of her throat and she gagged and pulled away. He waited for a second before he did it again, but didn’t let her pull away when she gagged this time. It felt like he was trying to ram it down into her throat. Her eyes started to water as she  coughed and put her hands on his thighs, pushing away, and he finally let up.She coughed and spit on the floor, exhaling shakily.“You need to open your throat,” Billy said.Max looked up at him, eyes wide in shock. “I don’t—what?! That’s not possible.”Billy rolled his eyes. “I forgot you were a prude. It’s possible, Max. Trust me.”“H–how do you even do that?!”“You’ll figure it out. Just open wide, and breathe through your nose. And remember: no teeth.”This must be the ‘punishment’ he mentioned. Billy took advantage of Max’s mouth hanging open in horror to push his cock back into it. He grabbed her hair and started rhythmic thrusts, each time hitting the back of her throat and making her gag. He pulled her head forward as far as it would go. It wouldn’t go past her soft palate, but he was trying to force it.Max gagged and coughed as she choked, sending spit flying and dripping down her mouth as she made noises she’d never heard herself make before. She pushed desperately against his thighs and hit them.He jerked her head back in frustration and she pulled away, “It won’t work,” she gasped, “it won’t fit.”“Spit on it.”“What?”“You heard me. Spit, all over the tip.” Billy held it against her mouth and she did as he said, spitting the copious amounts of saliva he’d drawn out from gagging her. She let out an anxious groan when she felt him gathering her hair again.“Open as wide as you can,” he said, tilted her head upwards and re-entered her mouth. When it stopped at the back of her throat he kept pushing, pulling her head towards himself with both hands. She looked up at him through a haze of tears as she gagged over and over, and he seemed to enjoy the feel of that.Suddenly, the feeling at the back of her throat went from uncomfortable to extremely painful as he managed to slide his cock head down into her throat. He growled in pleasure as she made panicked noises and struggled to make sense of this act that, just a few seconds ago, she’d felt certain couldn’t be done.In addition to all the other awful feelings, Max also felt like an idiot. Deep Throat was the one porn movie everyone knew about. She had never seen it nor thought much about it, but she had assumed the title just referred to a run-of-the-mill blowjob. It had never even crossed her mind that men would want to do this, and it felt like it shouldn’t be possible.Her throat was on fire, she couldn’t breathe, and all of her survival instincts told her to get this thing out of her mouth. But he pulled her closer, burying her nose in his chestnut pubic hair. Her shoulders jumped to her neck as she issued distressed noises between the involuntary wet gurgles.He pulled back enough for her to cough air back into her lungs and cry out. She was sobbing again and was vaguely aware of her face being covered in snot and spit alongside the tears.“Hold on, Max,” he said, “I’m close.”She screwed her eyes shut in pain as he started fucking her throat again. The sensation was novel and horrible; with each thrust he penetrated and stretched her throat, and she tried to time her breaths with his rhythm to keep from suffocating.Finally she heard his breath start to get huskier and with one last deep thrust, he forced himself fully into her mouth and down her throat once more. With her face pressed against his groin and hands desperately pushing against his hips she felt his legs shake and hips stutter, and heard him swear loudly as she felt ropes of warmth hit her esophagus. She cringed, the relief at reaching the end outweighed by a primal panic; he was blocking both her nasal and oral airways, and she needed to breathe.He’d been there for too long. Black was creeping into her vision, and he wasn’t responding to her hitting his hips or thighs, so in desperation she bit down on his shaft—not hard, but enough for him to register it. He pulled out of her mouth, leaving a bitter trail of cum on her tongue, and shoved her head over so she fell to the side.She laid on the ground, sobbing and shaking violently as she coughed air into her lungs. In her haste to take in oxygen between sobs, she accidentally inhaled saliva and started to cough all over again into the carpet. When she pulled away, she saw flecks of red.“Did you just fucking bite me?” Billy snarled.She breathed jaggedly through her chattering teeth. “I was suffocating,” she croaked. It hurt to talk.“I told you to breathe through your nose.”“Don’t you think I would if I could, you piece of shit?” she felt like she’d just pulled herself away from the edge of actual death, and he was done with his little punishment, so she didn’t care about complying anymore.But as she looked up she realized she was wrong. Billy had laid back on the bed and was stroking his cock—gearing up to go again.Billy smiled at the look of dismay on Max’s face as she realized they weren’t done. No, he had something much worse planned. He was considering going easy on her, but the biting stunt really pissed him off.“Come up here,” he said, “and lose the underwear.”She shot him a poisonous look, but complied. He reached forward and grabbed the back of her head, pulling it down to his cock, which was smeared with a little of her blood.“Billy, I can’t,” she begged, her strained voice cracking.Billy was surprised at how strained her voice sounded, and decided to let up just the once. “Relax, I won’t go down your throat again tonight, I promise. Just don’t forget about the balls.”She exhaled, relieved, then looked down. “What do I do”“Lick them, suck them…just be careful.” She took his tip in her mouth and started to suck, hesitantly at first, looking up at him every few seconds to make sure he would keep his promise. Then she licked his shaft down to the bottom and to his balls.“Fuck yes,” Billy breathed, “look at me.”Max’s big blue eyes redirected up to him as she kept licking and sucking gently, then traced her tongue back up to the tip and swirled it around, pumping him with her hand.“Shit, you’re getting good at this,” he chuckled, and sat up. She pulled away and wiped the saliva from her face. “No,” he said, “keep going.”Billy reached his long arm around to grab her ass cheek and squeezed, making her wince. Shit, he’d almost forgotten about the belt thing the other day. He slid his fingers between her crack and down to her folds, which were wetter than he expected. Maybe she was into pain, after all.Billy slapped her lips lightly, grinning at the wet noise it made. She flinched and yelped in surprise, and gasped when he started to rub her clit from behind.He worked his thumb inside her and rubbed her front wall with it as the rest of his fingers rubbed her clit and the lips around it. He was curious to see if he could get her to come while he was at this weird angle.Max dutifully kept at the blowjob, but Billy soon felt a disturbance in her rhythm. He upped the pressure and her heaving sighs were turning him on so much he felt close to coming again. He pulled her head away, pushed her forward so she was on all fours facing his headboard, and leant over to eat her out from behind. She jumped with the surprise contact and cried out.Billy didn’t get why some guys didn’t go down on girls. Laziness, maybe. This shit was fantastic, and it didn’t even taste bad like girls said cum did. There was nothing hotter than control to him, and he never felt more in control than making a normally reserved woman shed her decency and writhe beneath him, calling out his or God’s name.Max’s raspy voice fell out of her in whimpers. Soon, her lower back arched concave then convex and finally jerked to a shivering halt, sending a shockwave from her center to push out a shaky moan from her throat.First the pleasure, then the pain. He switched to rubbing her softly with his left hand, and with his right, he opened his bedside drawer and took out the metal handcuffs he’d stolen from his dad’s storage box of old cop things. She was still coming down, and didn’t notice immediately, but once he snapped a cuff around her right wrist, alarm bells went off.“Wait—what are you doing?” she asked, trying to pull back, but he pushed her against his cast iron headboard and threaded the chain around two of the metal rungs, then brought her left wrist up and manacled it so she was secured to the solid furniture. She shook the binds, but nothing budged.Max’s body collapsed in despair and she let out an anxious moan into the pillow. “Billy…”Billy pulled Max’s hips up and back, forcing her onto her knees and elbows. Her juices were dripping out of her in delicious stringy drops as he gave her folds one last caress before pulling her ass cheeks apart and wiping some of the copious moisture up to the tiny puckered hole. She froze, and he watched her hole somehow tighten even more in anxiety.“Oh, God,” she rasped in clear terror, “Billy—fuck—please don’t.”“Not yet,” he said, eyeing the pink slit between her pale lips instead and pushing himself inside. She was still unbelievably tight, but that hole above it had to be even tighter. He sunk into her warmth slowly, and she clutched the pillows, trying once again to get used to him as Billy stretched her walls and circled her asshole with her finger.As he pulled her hips further down to his, he put pressure on her anus with his index finger. The lubrication he’d relocated there eased his passage, and once he got beyond the initial pucker, it sucked about two inches of his finger inside and tried to close around it. She gasped sharply, and he could feel her tighten around both his finger and his cock.“Billy!” Max’s voice upped an octave as she tried and failed again to jerk the handcuffs through the bars, “Please don’t go there. I can’t take it—I’m not kidding.”Billy ignored her and kept pushing his finger in. He got it in up to his knuckle, and Max was crying and begging loudly now, but it looked like she had finally learned her lesson about struggling.He pulled his index finger out and replaced it with his thumb, sinking it in as she whined and holding onto the top of her ass like it was a handle as he fucked her without the slightest care for her comfort. Pained noises came out of her with every thrust.Billy felt his balls tighten and decided not to fight it this time. He pulled his thumb out and grabbed a fistful of her hair, jerking her head back as he held onto her hip with his other hand and kept up his relentless pace. He loved the sight of her pink lips clinging to his cock as he withdrew it and pounded it in over and over. It was enough to send him over the edge, and he fully slammed himself in, making her scream and stiffen as he exploded inside her once again.Max wept and sighed in apparent relief, but he wasn’t finished yet. He stayed as far inside her as he could and made short thrusts, trying to make himself hard again.He tried to work two fingers into her ass instead, and met some pretty solid resistance as Max shook her head and groaned in protest. He slid his fingers back through her wetness, tried again, and was finally able to work them in past the unwelcoming muscle.Max yelped, clenched hard around Billy, and immediately started hyperventilating. He could feel himself nearly ready again. Her asshole was like a vice around his fingers as he pushed in further and started going in and out. She flinched and cried out with every movement, and he watched in fascination as her taut flesh clung to his fingers, despite how lubricated they were.“Please, I’m begging you,” she sobbed, “I’ll do anything, just not there, please.”“I told you I’d have to punish you. You’ll never learn otherwise.” He pushed in more, making her whimper and flex her feet.“No!” she gasped, “I will—I did learn. I promise, I won’t run away again. I won’t struggle anymore.”Billy sighed. “Can’t let you get away with it. But I’ll never do it again if you don’t give me reason to.”“No,” she wept, “no no no, please…” He could hear it in her voice that she knew her pleas fell on deaf ears. Good.“It won’t be that bad. I could go in dry. That would really suck for you. But I’m not.” He attempted to part his fingers inside her hole, trying to stretch her, but she was too tense. This was even tighter than her snatch had been when he'd fucked her that first night. He was already hard just thinking about how it would feel moving up and down his shaft.He’d only successfully done anal a handful of times with experienced girls and women, and even they had a hard time with it sometimes. Max was already breathing like she’d just run a marathon as he tried again to stretch her.Billy frowned at the back of her head, where her hair was a rat’s nest after he’d messed with it so much. “It’s about to get so much worse if you don’t relax,” he said.“You try relaxing when someone’s about to rip your asshole apart,” she snapped.“Don’t be dramatic,” he said, though she was probably technically correct, “Come on, deep breaths.”Billy moved his fingers in and out in long and slow strokes as she tried in vain to calm down and breathe herself out of the sobs that wracked her. He rubbed her back comfortingly, which was already shiny with a thin layer of sweat, and pulled out of her, cock covered in her wetness and his cum.He removed his fingers from her asshole, pulled her cheeks apart and lined up his cock as Max began to hyperventilate and her pleas turned into screams. Billy shoved her face into a pillow before he started to push in.The hole genuinely seemed too small. Some part of him was doing this just to see if he could. Her back passage resisted admirably for a while, then, when he put his weight behind it, her ass swallowed the first inch or so and Max let out a piercing shriek into the pillow.Every breath of hers as Billy pushed in further was laced with sounds of agony, and she screamed again as he withdrew slightly. He exhaled heavily, gritting his teeth against the acute stimulation of the intense squeeze moving up and down his shaft. As it did, he could already see bright red blood being displaced from somewhere along her rim. These were the worst sounds of anguish he’d heard from her so far, and it was the most he’d ever seen her tremble.If she didn’t learn her lesson after this, she never would.Max thought that if there was a God, he would have made her pass out by now. Her senses were on fire with the most pain she’d ever known. What he’d done to her vagina and throat felt incredibly tame in comparison. She tried fervently to take deep breaths, but was always interrupted by a new, excruciating bolt of pain as he thrust or withdrew.It was the worst thing she’d ever felt—it had edged in just above Billy slamming into her cervix and that time boiling water spilled on her arm in eighth grade. As she predicted, her asshole had definitely torn, in a few places by the feel of it, and the friction from her injured muscle squeezing as hard as it could around the foreign object moving in and out stung horribly. Plus, she knew from experience that his cock was thicker further towards its base, so she braced for more pain as he sunk further inside.She bit holes into his pillow as she wept and prayed to the god that apparently wasn’t there that this would be over soon.There was a plethora of heated huffs, grunts and swears coming from behind her as he clearly enjoyed himself at her expense. He was gripping her ass cheeks so hard it hurt, but when he let them go to move his hands up to her hips, her cheeks closed and sent out another shockwave of pain. She reflexively tried to put her own hands behind her but forgot they were chained to the metal headboard. She cried out through her teeth as he started to speed up his thrusts.The thrusts were starting to become more brutal, and the sound of his balls slapping against her made her sick. Each of his movements inflicted white hot pain, especially the withdraw, which pulled on her muscle each time and hurt so badly that she started to see stars.After what seemed like an eternity, Billy stiffened and clutched her hips as he emptied himself inside her once again, slumping over on top of her. When he pulled out, Max collapsed on the bed, sobbing loudly and trying not to think about her blood and his cum currently mixing in every orifice she had. That must have been his punishment all along: to show her that there was no part of her he couldn’t break, and no part he couldn’t claim.She had held out for so long, but it was over. Until she figured out how to escape this situation, she was a prisoner, and she’d just have to give him what he wanted from her.He won. She was his.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy wasn’t sure if Max even heard the Polaroid’s shutter over her own crying, or saw the flash as she wept face down into a pillow, but he couldn’t resist taking the photo. She looked as dominated on the outside as she likely was on the inside, from her hands cuffed to the headboard to her splayed legs. Her pale skin was blotched with pink everywhere that had been squeezed or had taken an impact, and blood and cum leaked out of her abused holes.She was shaking like she’d been left out in the cold, and even when he removed the handcuffs, she just let her arms fall limply onto the bed and kept crying.Billy sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand on her back. She flinched and turned her face to him, terror evident under her wet eyelashes.“It’s alright,” he said, “it’s over.”She relaxed slightly and laid back down, looking past him with a blank expression.“Don’t make me do this again,” he said, “I know you don’t believe it, but I’d rather fuck you when you’re into it.”Anger flashed across her face for the briefest moment before it faded to resignation. She closed her eyes, displacing a couple more tears.“I won’t fight anymore,” she whispered.“Good. Now go shower.”She tried to sit up and immediately recoiled, hissing through her teeth and clutching her backside. She rolled onto her side, grimacing, and exhaled in effort trying to get to her feet without going onto her back. Billy held out his hand and she took it, getting to her feet shakily and sniffling. She tried to take a step and cried out, clutching him for support.“Fuck,” she wept, her legs shaking, “it stings so bad when I move my legs. I can’t walk.”Billy looked down at her as he held her upright. Her eyes were red and downcast as they leaked tears down past her swollen, pouted lips. The purple bruise was clearly visible on the right side of her face through the wiped off concealer, and there were streaks of blood running down her leg. Billy had wanted to break her, and she sure looked the part.“Alright, lay down,” he said, “I’ll go make you a bath.”She laid down on her side, shaking her head. “I can’t sit.”He considered for a moment. “I’ll start the shower then, and carry you in. Okay?”She closed her eyes and nodded softly, lip trembling with the rest of her.Billy walked into the bathroom and leaned into the tub to get the shower warm. He looked down at his cock, which was covered in blood—much more than when he took her virginity. He wiped it off with his hand and put it under the shower head, watching the fluids wash into the porcelain and down the drain.For the first time, he began to feel like, maybe, he shouldn’t have gone so far. But if this had worked, the ends would justify the means.Back in his room, he crouched down and picked Max up, careful to not touch or jostle the sore parts as she reluctantly put her arms around his neck.Billy carried her into the bathroom, stepped into the tub with her in his arms, and put her down on her feet gently. He pushed his now wet hair out of his face and was about to step back out when she inhaled sharply and flinched as water trickled down between her cheeks. It evidently got worse quickly, to the point where she cried out, her knees buckled and she reflexively clutched Billy and the wall for support.“I can’t,” she croaked, “it hurts.”“You have to wash off,” he said, holding her up by her ribs, “you’re bleeding…something could get infected.” He grabbed the detachable shower handle and held it away from her. “Here, we’ll do it first—get it over with, yeah?”She took a couple of deep breaths then nodded weakly.“Hold on to me,” he said, and she put her hands on his shoulders as she braced. “Alright, here we go.”Billy directed the shower head towards her ass and Max gritted her teeth and screamed through them, digging her nails into his shoulders and hyperventilating as she was wracked with powerful tremors. Her nails stung like hell, but Billy figured it was fair enough.As he kept rinsing off her backside, he was surprised by the amount of crimson continuing to rush along the white porcelain and into the drain. She started to put more and more of her weight on him, and he held her waist to keep her upright, but a few times she went limp for a second or two before she snapped back to consciousness.The water washing off her finally became mostly clear, so he brought the shower head up along her back, neck and hair. Max was able to stand up on her own again, so Billy took his hand from her waist, grabbed a bar of soap, and started rubbing it on her shoulders then around to her breasts, abs and pubic area before he rinsed them off.

The pain was unbelievable, and Max was dizzy with sensory overload. Her throat was on fire and the dull ache near her womb was back and worse than ever—he had gone too deep a few times tonight. But, by far, the worst pain came when she moved the muscles near her asshole even slightly, or let anything touch it. It was sharp, white hot agony unlike anything she’d ever felt, and she wasn’t positive, but she thought she might have passed out for a second in the shower because of it. Even water felt like acid when it touched the open fissures.The thought crossed Max’s mind that it couldn’t get worse than this, but she knew that was an idiotic, dangerous thing to assume. He could always find a way to make her life worse—she knew that now.The man who had violently raped her was now gently cleaning her up in the shower because he’d hurt her so badly she couldn’t reliably stand on her own. It was perversely intimate and felt like some kind of nightmare, too depraved to cross over to reality.With each of Billy’s gentle touches, Max became more suspicious. This was the first time he’d given a shit how she felt after he was done with her. Could it be that he actually felt guilty? She doubted it. More likely, this was another manipulation of some kind, or he was just making sure his favorite toy remained usable.She might as well have been a racehorse, covered in bloody whip marks, being offered sugar cubes after the derby. She was nothing but a rowdy pet to him, one that had to be disciplined to be of use.When she was clean, Billy finally directed the shower head at himself to wash off. Max watched him, and as the water beaded off his chest, she noticed fresh nail marks on his shoulders, two of which had drawn blood. She didn’t even remember doing that, but he hadn’t said anything, or punished her for it. Maybe he did feel bad. She didn’t know what to think anymore.Billy shut the water off and grabbed a towel from the rack, wrapping it around her and picking her up again before stepping out of the tub.He carried her into her room and dried her off, though he was still wet.“Where are your flannels?” he asked.Max pointed to the second drawer in her dresser, and he handed her a flannel, then got a pair of underwear from the top drawer and knelt down. She carefully stepped into them with as little movement as possible, and he pulled them up. She thought she might literally go insane if she allowed herself to dwell on how humiliated she felt, on top of everything else, so she didn’t.“Need to dry off,” he said, “I’ll be back.”“Why?” Max asked nervously.“I’m sleeping in here with you tonight. Clearly you can’t be trusted not to run away.”One more indignity tossed onto the pile. Max didn’t respond, just stared daggers into his muscular back as he walked out of her room and she shrugged on her flannel.As soon as he left, she very carefully lowered herself to her knees and pulled her backpack closer to unzip the front pocket and take out the small bag of pills Eddie had given her. She didn’t have anything to wash it down with, but couldn’t let Billy find out about them, so she just tossed it in her mouth and chewed it up as small as she could. It was horrifically bitter, and hurt her throat going down, but it went down.Max grabbed the dresser to pull herself back to her feet, wincing, then grabbed a pad from her drawer, unwrapped it and placed it in her underwear. She would probably bleed for days after this. She lowered herself onto the bed on her side and pulled the covers up over herself. She was normally a back sleeper, but that wasn’t an option tonight.The black thought entered her mind so casually that she almost didn’t register it, but Max began to wonder if she might rather be dead than continue like this.Billy came back in smoking a cigarette, shirtless with plaid sweatpants on. Max stared at his back as he sat on the edge of her bed.“I can’t go to school tomorrow,” she said.She expected him to argue, but he just put his cigarette out on her ceramic ring tray and nodded.Max carefully turned to lay on her other side, facing the wall, and closed her eyes. Despite the blankets, she couldn’t seem to stop shaking. But luckily it wasn’t long until she began to feel the narcotic’s effects, and she was asleep in minutes despite the overwhelming pain, and the man who inflicted it sleeping beside her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

ONE WEEK LATER
Steve ran his hands through his hair in the shower, trying to wash off as quickly as possible. P.E. had just ended, and he completely forgot there would be a test in geometry today. He had to cram as much studying as possible into the next half hour if he didn’t want to fail again.“Billy, who you taking to Homecoming?” he heard Tommy ask from nearby.Shit. All the more reason to hurry up—he’d really rather avoid this conversation. No one knew Steve was taking Max to Homecoming yet, and he didn’t feel like fielding questions from the peanut gallery. He didn’t think Max would want him to out them yet, either.Billy scoffed. “I’m not going to that shit. Waste of time.”Steve rolled his eyes. Of course Hargrove thought he was above it.“I dunno,” Tommy shrugged, “great excuse to get laid.”Billy smirked. “You need an excuse?”The guys laughed. Tommy walked right into that one.“Plenty of bitches around,” Billy continued, “I don’t need to play dress up and dance around for them.”Steve turned the faucet off and wrapped his towel around his waist. He pitied the poor girl that had to deal with that monster hanging between Hargrove’s legs.“Whatever, man,” Tommy said as Steve walked past them, “What about you, Harrington?”“Probably taking his pet nerd,” Keith chimed in.A flash of anger overcame Steve’s better judgement. This idiot was always trying to start something, and was better off ignored, but Steve turned back around to face him anyway.“The hell did you just say?”“That redhead, Maxine,” he said, “she’s been following you around like a puppy.”Steve glared at him. “She hasn’t been ‘following me around,’ asshole. We worked together this summer. We’re friends—she’s cool.”“You wouldn’t know it from how she dresses at school, but she’s kind of hot,” Tommy said, turning off his faucet and grabbing a towel. “I saw her out at the pool once this summer.”“But she’s friends with that freak Munson and that nerdy Indian,” Keith said, “not exactly your type…so what’s the deal, Harrington? Does the firecrotch put out or something?”Steve took an angry step forward, but Billy was closer, and shoved Keith into the tile wall. Fairly impressive, given the linebacker was around 6’3’’ and built like a refrigerator.“You trying to lose a few teeth, Thompson?” Billy asked.“Oh, shit—“ Keith said, blanching, “I totally forgot she was your sister…sorry, man...”“Stepsister,” Billy corrected, “but watch your mouth.” He snatched the towel from Keith’s hands and strode off to his locker.“Better yet,” Steve said, “just keep it shut, Thompson. I hear you talk about her like that again, you’ll be sorry. I’m not kidding.”Tommy grinned. “That’s not an answer…”Steve rolled his eyes and walked away. The chimps could entertain themselves today.“Yeah,” Keith said to Tommy under his breath, but loud enough for Steve to hear, “he’s totally banging her.”Steve kept walking. If those idiots were talking and spreading rumors about Max, he guessed more were, or would be soon. Maybe it was a good idea to get ahead of it. People would find out on Saturday, anyway…but the decision affected Max more than it did him. He had to ask her first.The sound of the dismissal bell was a blessed relief. It had been a long day, but as Max opened her locker she was relieved to finally be done with the make-up tests from the two days she missed last week. She was tired, but couldn’t complain when she compared herself to where she was a week ago.To Max’s surprise, Billy had backed off since last week’s brutality—well, mostly. He hadn’t made her do anything but a few gentle blowjobs, and she hadn’t protested at all. She thought his leaving her alone could be his way of rewarding her for finally giving in, but it was probably more practical than that. Their parents were coming home tomorrow, so he had to give her time to heal and be able to convincingly maintain the facade of normalcy, which she certainly couldn’t last week.She was hurt too badly to go to school last Tuesday and Wednesday, and on Thursday and Friday she had needed oxy to walk normally and get through the hours of sitting on hard plastic chairs.Max’s friends had noticed her lethargy and general fuzziness, but due to the raspy voice they bought the story that she was on a cough syrup regimen that made her drowsy. Rita had noticed her wince when sitting down after school, so she added the lie that she had bruised her tailbone slipping on her board that morning.Rita, Eddie and Steve had accepted her explanations, but Eddie was the only one who knew about the drugs, and Max caught a hint of suspicion in his big brown eyes. He was perceptive, and Max figured she had one more tall tale before he started asking what was going on.But Billy letting up had helped immensely with the whole ‘pretending life was normal’ thing. The only marks left on her were some stubborn bite marks on her breasts and shoulder, and the cigarette burn on her back—all easy to hide. The bruises on her face and neck had faded, her throat was still a bit sore but her voice was back to normal, and it had taken six days but her ass had finally stopped bleeding.Max looked in her locker mirror, pushed her hair out of her face and sighed. She was a different person now than she was when her parents left eleven days ago. It felt surreal to think about their return…she wondered if her mom would notice anything amiss. She doubted it; Susan Mayfield was a lot of things but observant was not one of them.She gathered her books and shut her locker, beyond ready for a nap.When she looked up she saw Steve wave at her and weave his way through the crowded hall to get to her. She smiled.“Hi,” she said.“Hey. How’d the make-ups go?”Max sighed. “I don’t know, honestly.”Steve shot her a doubtful look.“What?”“Oh no, I did so bad on this test,” Steve mocked, waving his hands, “What if I studied too much?” he gasped and clutched his chest, “what if I got an A minus?!”Max cocked her head in amusement. “That supposed to be me?”“That is you,” Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. “But listen, can we talk?”Max’s stomach flipped. For some reason, her mind jumped right to the extreme and she was immediately convinced that he decided he didn’t like her and found another date to Homecoming.“Sure,” she said, hoping she wasn’t too tired to disguise her anxiety, but Steve seemed to notice something.“It’s nothing bad, I swear,” he reassured her and beckoned her to follow him.They walked over to the gym, which was mostly empty, except for some kids playing hacky sack on the opposite end, way out of earshot.“Is something wrong?” she asked.“No, not at all. I just wanted to ask—well…huh. I guess this is kind of a bigger question than I thought it was.”He put his hands on his hips and looked away as he paused, careful deliberation written on his face. Max waited in silence, nervous and thoroughly confused.“So we’ve been keeping our whole thing a secret, right?” he finally said, gesturing between the both of them.“Right…”“What if we…didn’t…do that?”Max blinked at him.“People are gonna see us together on Saturday, anyway,” he shrugged, “why not get ahead of it, so we’re not dealing with idiots staring and asking questions all night?”“Get ahead of it,” she said, “you mean like, be official?”“Yeah,” Steve smiled.Max couldn’t help but smile back at him. She chuckled in disbelief, butterflies swirling madly in her stomach.Steve cringed. “Is that a good laugh?”“Yes,” she said, running a hand through her hair, and pausing as reality hit her in the face. Steve noticed her face fall.“Oh shit,” Steve said, “what is it?”The butterflies turned into wasps. Homecoming was one thing—Billy wouldn’t be there. But was there a chance in hell he’d let her have a boyfriend? She suddenly felt nauseous.“I want to, Steve…” she said, biting back the tears that wanted to rise, “I really do. I’m just—I’m scared, I guess.” That part was true, at least.“Of the gossipy morons we go to school with?”Max smiled at him sadly. “A little. I’m just used to being under the radar, I guess.”Steve sighed. “Yeah, I get it. Hey, you don’t have to answer now—I kind of ambushed you…but, for what it’s worth, I really like you, Max.”Max looked up into Steve’s earnest brown eyes and her hardening heart melted. “I really like you too,” she said. “I’ll sleep on it, okay?”“Yeah—totally. Sure.”“Okay. I’m sorry…”“Hey, don’t apologize,” he said, holding the door open for her and following her out, “I’m the impulsive one here. You’re a thinker…part of why I like you.” He smiled down at her and Max smiled back, despite her heart pumping corrosive despair through her body. God, she wanted this. But she was almost positive Billy wouldn’t let her have it.“We’ll talk tomorrow,” she said, “I promise.”Steve nodded. “Sounds good.”Max walked out to the parking lot with Steve, feeling sick as she thought about bringing this up to Billy. She had no idea how he’d react. No sane person would bet on her success; the odds were abysmal, and it was much, much more likely that he’d punish her for even asking.But this was the first time in a long time that something she really, really wanted was within reach. It was worth the risk.Billy tapped his fingers on the wheel along with the snare on a Megadeath song as the Camaro sped along towards home, kicking up dry leaves in its wake. It was the first song on a new cassette, and he glanced over at Max, curious if she hated this as much as she hated Slayer. But she didn’t seem to be listening; she was staring out of the window with her fists clenching and unclenching on her thighs.“What’s with you?” he asked.She looked at him like she’d forgotten he was there, and swallowed hard.“I need to ask you something,” she said.Billy raised an eyebrow, curious, and turned down the volume.“What—um…what would happen if I started dating Steve?” Max asked quietly.He frowned. “I thought you were already.”“I mean officially. Like, I’d be his girlfriend.”Billy flexed his jaw. He thought this might be coming, and was surprised she had the balls to ask him. Lucky for her, he’d already thought this through at some length, and had actually landed on a decision she’d be happy to hear.Billy reasoned that Max being in a relationship would be a convenient smokescreen to hide what was going on at home. Their parents’ attention would be focused on Harrington and Max rather than him, and if she got knocked up, or someone got suspicious of marks or bruises, Harrington would be suspect number one.Also, when it came down to it, Billy was not a romantic. His relationship with Max was physical; he never believed they’d somehow fall in love with each other. And, physically, Harrington just wasn’t a threat.Billy took a drag of his cigarette and was silent for a few moments, enjoying making her sweat for a minute.“I don’t care,” he shrugged, “just keep the PDA out of my sight.”Max blinked at him, stricken silent in surprise and confusion. Her brow furrowed as she examined his face. “You—you’re serious? You’re fine with it?”“Yeah,” he smirked, “I’m gonna enjoy looking Harrington in the eye knowing I’m fucking his girlfriend more than he is.”Max was quiet as shame mixed in with the hope on her face, and soon overtook it. She looked down at her feet.Billy reached his arm over and put his hand on her upper thigh, giving it a small squeeze as she tensed. He slid his hand between her legs to run his fingers along the inseam of her jeans and could feel her heat through them. “I don’t care who you run around with, as long as you remember who this belongs to.”Billy watched her ears and cheeks redden, but she didn’t respond.“I need to hear you say it,” he said, “otherwise, forget it.”“It’s yours,” she said, a blank look coming over her face.“What’s mine?” he asked, deepening the red on her face as she closed her eyes and sighed, defeated.“My pussy is yours.”Billy moved his hand back to rest on her thigh and grinned. “Good.”“Mom and Neil will be home tomorrow,” she said, keeping her gaze fixed downwards, “how do you plan to keep this up?”Billy grinned. “I have some ideas.”Max didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive. She got out and hurriedly went into the house as soon as he parked in the driveway.Billy sat back and finished his cigarette. He had been easy on her since last week. The bruises needed to heal and she had to be able to walk normally, or their parents would start asking questions.He hadn’t really meant to tear her up so badly she had to miss school, but in the end, she’d learned, at least. Whenever he approached her now she obeyed without protest. Tonight wouldn’t be their last night alone—his dad was always going on long weekends and dragging Susan along with him—but he still wanted to make it count. Billy didn’t plan to abstain from Max just because their parents were down the hall. But he had one more lesson he had to teach her before their parents got home.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Max retreated into her room. In the car, she recognized the subtle pressure of intent in Billy’s grasp on her thigh, and knew he’d be on her any second. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she tried to breathe and make sense of the whirlwind of anxieties.She had been so certain Billy wouldn’t let her date Steve that she hadn’t really thought about what would happen if he allowed it. She should be rejoicing, in theory, but the relief and happiness had been painfully fleeting when she was reminded that it would change nothing about her current predicament. Billy wouldn’t ever leave her alone, and she would have to lie to Steve every day.Max listened to Billy’s footsteps get closer until he stepped into Max’s room and closed the door. “You’re not off the hook just because our parents are home, you know that right?”Max nodded nervously.“You’re gonna have to learn to be quiet. Think you can do that?”“Yes.”“Alright,” he said, “Let’s test it. Unless I tell you to say something, every time I hear your voice, it counts as two.”“Two what?”“Don’t worry about it.”She was worried about it.  “Crying is fine, as long as it’s quiet,” he continued, “but no muffling your voice with a pillow or something. That’s cheating.”Max anxiously clutched her elbows and searched his face to see what he might be planning. Their parents were home tomorrow, so he couldn’t hurt her that badly, but he made a point of saying she could cry. What the hell kind of loophole had he discovered?“Relax,” Billy said, tugging Max’s arms apart gently and pulling her sweater over her head, “I’m not an idiot. I won’t do anything that would make people think something’s up. Think of this as practice.”Practice for what? Had he been lying about being fine with her dating Steve? Was he actually furious, and planning on punishing her in some new, secret way? Two what?!Max was riddled with questions and uneasiness, but she didn’t dare resist. Her curiosity faded slightly when she came to the bleak realization that it didn’t matter; whatever he wanted to do, she would just let him have to do it.Billy pushed her onto the bed and she let him unbutton her jeans and pull them off. She watched helplessly as he removed his own shirt and jeans, and climbed into bed. He pushed Max’s legs open, lowered his head down between them, and kissed the inside of her thigh before working his way upwards, kissing and licking the skin on her stomach, ribs, chest then neck. Her skin began to prickle with goosebumps as she watched his blondish brownish curls get closer and closer.He finally reached her lips and they kissed, softly at first then passionately, both inhaling the other’s exhales so much that Max began to feel a bit woozy. She reached up and ran her hands through his hair, which she knew he liked.Billy pushed himself to sit upright and pulled Max up and onto him so his arms wrapped around her as she straddled him. His hand gathered a handful of her hair and he started kissing her again hungrily.Max could feel Billy’s growing erection twitch underneath her as he unhooked her bra and tossed it aside, and her guts twisted with anxiety. She felt certain he was going to shove that inside her again, and when his hand dropped to her abs so his thumb could tease her, she knew she was right.This was the first time he would try this since she had stopped resisting. All hope of that was gone, so her only method to avoid injury was to stop fighting her body when it responded to his touch and tried to ready itself for him.She tried desperately to focus on the sensations when he took his hand away to squeeze her breasts. She readjusted herself and flinched as her sensitive spot hit his pelvic bone, sending a little jolt through her abdomen. She rolled her hips so that she ground into the bone, and kept going as he growled in approval and she felt heat start to prickle under her skin.Her heartbeat rose to her ears, and her head lolled back as he kissed her neck and supported her upper back.“Fuck yeah,” Billy breathed, “come on, Max.”Once again, his voice stroked something depraved within her and she recoiled like she’d been punched in the lower abdomen as everything within her tightened and released. She temporarily forgot she was supposed to be quiet, and the climax pushed a small cry through her throat.Billy smiled. “That’s two,” he said and lifted her up and off him. She lay back as he pulled her underwear off, feeling dread mix in with the lingering vibration in her belly.“Can’t help yourself, Max,” he purred as he patted her wetness, making her flinch. “You’re such a little slut.” He started rubbing her clit tenaciously with two fingers, even as she fidgeted. God, she hated him. She did not want to give him the satisfaction of making her come again, but resisting would hurt her more than it hurt him.He slid the same fingers down through her folds and slipped them both inside her, moving them in and out slowly for a little before adding a third finger. She bit her lip, suppressing a whimper in response to the uncomfortable stretch.Max grimaced and clutched the sheets as he sunk his fingers deeper into her and pulled them apart, trying to stretch her more. She tried to breathe through it as tears gathered at the corners of her eyes.He curled the three fingers inside her to massage her front wall, and brought his mouth down to lap furiously at her clit, firing up Max’s engines once again. She threw her head back as a ripple of electricity spread along her sensitive nerves from her sex to her ears.Max supposed she should be grateful that her live-in rapist was good at pleasuring her, at least. She was really grasping at straws to remain positive, now…she was not a positive person, generally, but reminding herself ‘it could be worse’ felt like an essential reflex lately. She guessed humans must have evolved like that in order to survive the ordeals that came with the whole ‘civilization’ thing.But the jolt brought a new fear to the forefront of Max’s mind: what if what Billy said when he first raped her was true: that he would be the only one that could ever satisfy her? It sounded like bullshit, but he seemed confident…is that why he didn’t care about her being with Steve? Was she actually as ruined as she felt?Max put her arm over her eyes and tried to drag her mind back to the present. Spiraling would not help her get through this right now. She took deep breaths and it wasn’t long before she was suppressing moans and digging her nails into the mattress. She didn’t cry out, not even when he added a fourth finger—she just gritted her teeth and inhaled through her nose as she continued her momentum.Finally, her breath caught and her legs trembled as she came hard, clenching her teeth as her walls contracted painfully around his four fingers. She noticed the pain had been less horrific, actually. Maybe last week’s agony had hardened her.Billy exhaled as his head rose up from between her legs, licked his lips and wiped the rest of her juices off his face with his arm. Then he rolled over so he lay on his back and Max knew what he wanted. She knelt over him and pulled his underwear off, releasing his hard cock. It never got less intimidating.She gripped it and started stroking as she leant down and wrapped her lips around the tip. She was pretty sure she had gotten good at this, out of necessity; she desperately tried to please him this way over the last week so he’d lay off, and it seemed to have worked.Various euphoric sounds fell out of his mouth as Max did the things she knew Billy liked: she licked and made out with his sensitive tip, sucked his balls into her mouth, kept her hand moving on his shaft, and made eye contact as she did most of it. This time, she stuck her hand down between her own legs and rubbed her clit as she did it, which got him so hot he made her stop early.Billy sat up and pulled Max’s head up. “Ride it,” he ordered, grabbing her hips and pulling her forward.She wiped the spit from her mouth and nervously looked down at the dreaded organ pointing up at her. She hadn’t been on top yet, and wasn’t entirely sure how to be the one in control. Well—somewhat in control.Max positioned herself over it and ground against it, coating it in as much of her wetness as she could before she aligned his cock head to her entrance with a shaking hand. She took a few deep breaths trying to relax, then started to force herself down on it. She whimpered as the head popped through her tense entrance, and looked down at him nervously.“Two more,” he said, grabbing her hips and forcing her down further. She grimaced and took in quick breaths. The stretch was intense, but it didn’t feel dangerous, like it had last time. She relaxed a bit and started to roll her hips, taking him in little by little.Billy groaned in pleasure. “Shit, that’s it, Max. Take all of it.”Max felt below her to see how much more there was, and felt sweat drip down her neck—there was more left than she thought. She took a deep breath and pressed her hips down further, groaning through her teeth as he filled her far past the point of comfort. Shit—that noise was another two. This was impossible.She gyrated her hips and rode him for a while, getting nervous when he started to buck his hips upwards to force more of himself in. Her traumatized cunt clenched when he did it, reacting to the muscle memory of last time’s excruciating penetration.Billy brought his thumb down to her lower lips with one hand and grabbed a handful of her hair with the other as he pulled her face down to his. He kissed her and bit her lip, then smiled, noticing her shudder slightly as he ran his thumb across her clit. “God, you love it,” he said, “I turned you from virgin to whore in record time.”Tears hot with rage and shame began to sting Max’s eyes. He yanked her head down further so her ear was against his mouth.“You’re fucking mine, Maxine,” he whispered, “I took you, every way there is to take you. Harrington can try, but he’ll never really have you.”Billy bit her earlobe and knocked a surprised whimper out of her when he savagely thrust upward and smacked her ass hard. The impact had shaken the tears loose, too.“You’re racking them up,” he said, and rolled over to get on top of her. He was close; she recognized the jagged breathing.Billy buried his face in Max’s hair as he fucked her at a merciless pace. She grimaced at the painful, hard and fast thrusts and braced for the agony she was sure would come soon. But as he slammed into her harder and harder, she felt their hips connect and knew he was all the way in. She was safe this time, for some reason.He breathed hot and heavy breaths into Max’s ear. “Whose are you, Max?”Max clenched her jaw, horrified at the words she knew she had to say, but too afraid of the consequences if she didn’t.“I’m yours,” she said quietly, her voice breaking in defeat.“Say it again.”“I’m yours.”His grip tightened on her hair. “Louder.”“I’m yours,” she sobbed.Finally he slammed into her once more and his back muscles tensed under Max’s hands as he came deep inside her.“Oh, fuck,” he breathed into her ear through the feral noises he let out as his hips convulsed.Max wept quietly as she stared at the ceiling, miserable, but relieved she had made it through unscathed, this time. No tearing, no cervix bruise…maybe she was just getting used to it, or stretching out. A pit in her stomach opened up when the thought surfaced that she might be stretched so much that Steve would be able to tell.

Billy missed how Max would clench when he’d hit that ‘too deep’ spot, but he knew that canal got deeper the more a girl was turned on. He guessed he’d live with that sacrifice, since it meant she was finally learning not to fight it.He pulled out and ran a hand over her reddened lower lips as she sat up and pushed a bit of his cum out. Shit, that was hot. No blood this time, though.Max was wiping the tears from her face as she eyed him uncertainly, probably trying to figure out what he’d been counting towards. He almost didn’t want to go through with it, but clearly she needed practice keeping quiet. She was so stubborn that fear was the only thing that worked with her.“Put your hair up,” Billy said, getting up to pull on his boxer briefs.“What?”“Put your hair up,” he repeated, “in a bun or something.”Max frowned, confused, but obeyed him, tying her hair up in a messy top knot with the hair tie on her wrist.“Billy, please just tell me what you’re going to do,” she said, fear evident in her voice.“How many did we get up to?” he asked casually, “eight, I think?”“I—I don’t know…”Billy sighed, bent down to his jeans on the floor and pulled his leather belt out of its loops. Max’s expression graduated from anxiety to terror.“Shit,” she said, “Billy, please don’t.”“Two more for protesting,” he shrugged.She opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself, and collapsed in tears.“Listen, I’m basically an expert in fucking girls while their parents are home. If we’re not quiet, we’re gonna get caught. You can’t slip up—at all—and this is clearly the only way you learn.”“I won’t make a sound,” she wept, “I swear to God.”“You’d better not, because every time you do, we add another two. You just have to grit your teeth and deal with it, Max.”Max put her head in her hands, taking in deep, strangled breaths between sobs.“Kneel against the bed,” Billy ordered, “with your back to me.”She looked up at him, entreating him silently one last time, then descending into sobs again as she got on her knees and clutched the mattress with trembling hands.Billy looked at the blank canvas of her pale, freckled back. He knew the ins and outs of belt punishments from frequently having been punished with one himself. He chose to give her one mercy and fold the belt in half instead of using a whip-like strike, which stung even worse and might break skin.He had to hit somewhere where the marks could be hidden easily, which was her ass, tits, or her back. Ass was a no-go, since someone would catch her sitting weird, and tits were too sensitive, so that left her back. She was thin, so the belt would hit bone, leaving nasty, longer-lasting marks.No use in making her wait around.“Let’s get it over with,” Billy said, folding the belt in half and walking over so he loomed above her violently shaking body. He reared back and struck her once, making her lurch into the mattress and issue weepy vowel sounds.Billy rolled his eyes. That wasn’t even close to the hardest he could hit. “Max, come on. That’s two more.”She gathered some of her comforter in her teeth and braced herself again.Billy let the whip fall a second time. She breathed heavily but didn’t vocalize.“Good,” he said, “that’s two down, eight to go.”

Max bit hard into her blanket as another strip of fire exploded across her back—it was harder than the last two times, but she was determined and desperate to remain quiet.*CRACK* Max took in quick, sharp breaths after another hit.“Six,” Billy said, and followed it up with another two lashes back to back, “five, four,”Max’s knees were shaking violently and wanted so badly to collapse that clutching the bed was doing most of the work of holding her up.He brought down the belt again. “Three,”The pain was exponential; each blow hurt more than the last, striking a surface that was already sore and doubling the pain.Billy paused, then whipped Max particularly savagely, much harder than the other times. She couldn’t help but scream through her teeth, weeping and letting her knees collapse.“Get up, four more.”She pulled herself back up as she hyperventilated, trying to breathe through the agony, and he hit her again, as hard as the last time. She clamped her hand over her mouth and kicked her feet, breathing frenzied breaths through her nose.Billy whipped her again, less hard than last time, then once more about the same.“Last one,” he said, before the whip stung her tender skin somewhere near the shoulder blade. She collapsed onto her side and sobbed into her bedskirt.He held out his hand to help her up, but she just stared at him hatefully.“It’s over,” he said, “you’re alright.”Two false statements. ’It’s over.’ That’s what he said last week. It was never over.Billy sighed. “I’ll go get some ice,” he said, and left the room.What good was ice in hell?

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy had held a bag of ice and a couple bags of frozen peas to Max’s back for a little while last night as she cried herself to sleep. The ice might’ve helped with the swelling, but when she looked in the mirror this morning, her back was covered in angry, dark red stripes that loudly stood out against her pale skin and throbbed with hot pain.Still, she woke up determined not to let Billy ruin this day for her. This was the first day of her new double life.During one of the many times Max had woken up beside him last night, in pain and sick with despair, she realized she couldn’t keep living like this. How could she focus on anything during the day when she knew this awaited her at night? How could she be a good student, friend, or girlfriend when she knew Billy had broken her mind so badly that she could somehow get off while being raped? How could she go about a normal life when she was also living one as her stepbrother’s sexual prisoner?Her mind reeled from the war with itself. Maybe she had been reading too much about the Soviets in social studies, but a Berlin Wall of her own started to sound pretty attractive. Maybe she could completely separate the oppressive world of East Max from the freedom and prosperity of West Max. Each side had its own rules, behaviors, and perils that were too overwhelming together, but compartmentalizing might make them more manageable.West Max was out during the day; she did well in school, laughed with her friends, was in a healthy relationship…and because of the Wall, she could do all of that unburdened by the problems East Max had to deal with come nighttime. East Max had to do degrading things to survive the horrors she faced, and that would get much easier if West Max’s dignity and ideals were out of sight behind the Wall. Then, the shame and trauma could remain in the East when she returned to the West in the morning.It would take strict mental discipline, but she thought she might be able to pull it off. She had to.Max swallowed four ibuprofen tablets and got ready slowly but deliberately. Her normal bras irritated the welts too much, so she opted for a cloth sports bra instead, and threw a black sweater on after it. She paired the sweater with a jacket and skirt, both light blue denim, and fussed with her hair in the mirror. She considered putting more makeup than her usual mascara on, but decided against it. People would think she was trying too hard.Putting effort into her wardrobe choices was not something she normally did, but it made her feel more confident, for some reason, and she figured she’d need all the help she could get once people heard about her and Steve.When she sat in the car, Billy looked at her and snuffed, eyebrows raised.Max glared at him. “What?”“Nothing,” Billy chuckled, “just surprised to see you dressed well for once.”She rolled her eyes and sat back, wincing as her back touched the seat.“You should wear skirts more often,” he said, “Those baggy jeans make you look like a dyke.”Max wanted badly to snap at him, tell him she had thoughts about his wardrobe too, but she bit her tongue. East Max knew her place.Max pretended to be asleep for the entire drive to school, and once they got there, Billy went straight inside, probably trying to hit the weight room before P.E. started. Max took her time getting out of the car. She didn’t see Steve’s car in the parking lot yet and wanted to catch him before the first school bell.She leant against the Camaro and opened her textbook to read while she waited, but she soon spotted Steve's dark red BMW pull up, and felt the butterflies stir again. There were some wasps in there, still, but she refused to acknowledge them. Wasps were behind the wall in East Max; only butterflies allowed here in the West.Steve parked the car and leaned his head back against the head rest. He was nervous. He couldn’t get Max’s reaction to his proposition yesterday out of his mind. She didn’t just look hesitant, she looked kind of…freaked out there for a second. Had he jumped the gun, scared her off? She said she liked him, which elated him in the moment, but now he couldn’t get it out of his head that she might have just been being nice…He groaned, ran his hands through his hair and turned the car off. This wouldn’t get him anywhere.When he stepped out of the car his stomach flipped as he saw Max walking toward him, smiling and waving. A smile…that was good, right? Or was she trying to soften the blow? Shut up—relax, Harrington. He smiled back.“Morning,” she said.“Hey,” he said, “how’s it going?”“Good, actually,” she pushed her hair out of her face and chuckled a little, “you?”Her eyes seemed extra blue in the early sunlight. God, she was pretty.“I’m good. Hey, about yesterday, sorry if I—““No—I’m the one who should apologize. I just got too in my head, I think. But I was being crazy…it’s a no-brainer. Let’s do this.”Steve raised his eyebrows. “Really?”Insecurity flickered across her face. “I mean, as long as you’re still into it.”“Of course I’m still into it!” he laughed.She sighed in relief and put her hands on her hips. “So…this means I’m your girlfriend, huh?”“I only want you to be my girlfriend if you want to be my girlfriend.”“Yeah,” she said, beaming at him, “I do.”Steve smiled and pulled her closer by her skirt. “I want to be your girlfriend, too.”Max laughed. Steve held her waist and leant down to lock her lips into a kiss. He felt her arms gracefully drape around his neck, and they smiled against each other’s mouths.Suddenly a wolf whistle sounded from nearby and they both looked over towards the source. It was Tommy, walking inside with Carol, who gave him a scolding slap on the chest.“Ignore him,” Carol called to them as Tommy chuckled to himself, “you two are cute.”Steve glared at Tommy and looked back down at Max, whose cheeks were pink. He sighed and rubbed her arm. “Hagan’s an ass,” he said, “but why do I get the feeling there’s gonna be a lot of that?”“I think there will be,” Max sighed, then shrugged, “but fuck ‘em.”“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” He held out his hand and she took it, lacing her fingers between his, and they walked into school to face the day together. The volume of Max’s heartbeat seemed to increase with each head that turned in her and Steve’s direction as they walked hand-in-hand through the senior locker hall.When it was just the two of them, Max felt safe physically and emotionally. He was attentive, considerate, and made her feel like she mattered, which only a few people could pull off. But here, they were surrounded by people who were questioning—as Max herself was—who this nobody was and why she deserved anything good. Even if she still felt safe from physical threats, there was only so much Steve could do to protect her from the emotional ones.Steve walked Max to her locker and leaned against the ones next to it. She turned the combination, swung open the locker and spotted Steve frown at someone as he looked across the hall.“Take a picture, O’Connor,” he barked, “it’ll last longer.”“Having second thoughts yet?” Max murmured, keeping her eyes focused on her locker while swapping the history textbook in her bag for English lit in her locker.Steve snuffed. “Hell, no.” I just don’t get why people have to be so weird about it.”Max raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t?”“I really don’t.”She doubted that was true. No one was that naive; he was probably just trying to spare her feelings.“Think of it like this,” she said, “if you’re ‘King Steve,’ that makes me, basically, a lowly bar wench. Royalty romancing the peasantry causes quite the stir.”Steve laughed. “Come on.”“It’s true…m’lord.”He snuffed. “They’ll quit gawking soon, don’t worry.”Max took a deep breath. “I’ll take your word for it.”“I have to get to P.E., but I don’t want to leave you to the wolves.”“It’s fine,” Max shook her head and smiled. “I’ll survive.” She spotted Rita approaching from down the hall with a huge smile on her face. “Here comes Rita. You should probably go anyway, if you don’t want to answer a thousand questions.”Steve looked over his shoulder and smiled. “Alright, cool. See you at lunch?”Max nodded.Steve smiled and leant down to put a hand on her waist and give her a quick kiss. “See you then.”“See you.” Max said, and unconsciously smiled watching him walk away. She snapped out of it when Rita sidled up to her, eyes wide.“You’re official?!” she hissed. “When were you going to tell me?”Max rolled her eyes and shut her locker. “It happened less than ten minutes ago.”Rita blinked in surprise, then nodded. “Oh. Okay. I guess that’s acceptable.”“What are you, my pimp?” Max smirked.Rita snorted. “I could use the extra cash. But I’m thinking you don’t need a pimp so much as a bodyguard. I saw Carol talking to Stacey back there. She looked furious.”Max’s guts twisted. She genuinely felt bad for Stacey. There aren’t a whole lot of things as painful as pining for someone who doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. But Max also feared her. She had a lot more influence in this school than Max would ever have, and she had a reputation for being vindictive. If Stacey turned public opinion against her in a major way, maybe Steve would decide Max wasn’t worth the trouble.“You’re playing a dangerous game, Mayfield,” Rita shook her head, “but I’m in your corner, if the shit gets ugly.”Max smiled at Rita. “Thanks. It means a lot.” And it did. She couldn’t get through this on her own. East Max was alone, but West Max had allies.Steve knew lunch was going to be the weirdest part of the day. He caught Max at her locker and they walked over together.“What’s this I hear?” Isaac said as Steve and Max sat down across from him, Rebecca and Stacey. “You guys make it official? That was quick.”“Hey, congrats, man,” Jason said from further down the table.“Thanks,” Steve said, “but it wasn’t that quick. We’ve technically been dating since summer, just didn’t tell anyone.”Isaac laughed, “I get it. I’d probably keep this fool a secret too.” He smirked at Steve, who rolled his eyes and smiled. “But I’m happy for y’all. Welcome to the crew, Max.”“Thanks,” Max chuckled.“Full disclosure, I did hear rumblings,” Isaac said, “But I didn’t think much of it, since it came from Keith.”Steve rolled his eyes. “That dude doesn’t know how to mind his own business. Hagan, too,” he jabbed his thumb toward the other end of the long cafeteria table, where Tommy and Carol sat with their friends. Stacey frowned at Steve. “This doesn’t mean Munson’s gonna start sitting with us, does it?” she asked, “He’s so weird.”Steve looked at her, surprised at how disrespectful she was being. Not only was the question itself rude, but she looked right past Max to ask him, like she wasn’t there. He opened his mouth to tell her off but Max started first.“Eddie’s one of the nicest people at school, actually,” Max snapped, “You’d know that if you got to know him instead of making assumptions.”Steve suppressed a smile. Lesser people would just submit to Stacey to avoid conflict with the most popular girl in school. But it didn’t surprise him that Max valued standing up for her friends over social status. It demonstrated perfectly why he liked her so much, but was never into Stacey.Stacey scoffed. “You know, I thought you and Munson were dating, actually. You hang out a lot.”“I’ve had mostly guy friends since I was a kid,” Max shrugged, “not a lot of girls at the skatepark.”“Your parents let you?” Stacey raised her eyebrows, “I don’t know, if I had a daughter like that I’d be worried she’d end up being kind of a slut.”“Hey!” Steve snapped, scowling at Stacey, “Not cool.”“Oh,” Stacey chuckled, “I thought ‘not cool’ was your thing now.”Steve stared at her. “What the hell is your problem?”“She doesn’t belong here.”“It’s a cafeteria lunch table. You don’t exactly need a laminated invitation.”Stacey rolled her eyes and picked up her tray. “Come on, Becks,” she said, and walked down to the far side of the table to sit next to Carol. Rebecca looked at Steve and Max apologetically as she got up with her own tray.“Sorry,” she said quietly, “I don’t agree, by the way.” She walked over reluctantly to join Stacey on the other side.Steve looked at Max. Her flushed cheeks betrayed her once again as she looked back at him uncertainly. He put a hand on her knee under the table, and she held it.“Ignore her,” Steve said.“Seriously,” Isaac said, sliding in to fill the empty space Rebecca and Stacey had left, “good riddance. She’s crazy.”“She’s not crazy,” Max said quietly, poking at her mashed potatoes with her fork, “she’s just hurt. I get it.”Steve looked at her, surprised. Max’s empathy was sweet, but he wasn’t sure Stacey deserved that. He’d never once heard Stacey say a positive thing about another girl. She even treated poor Rebecca like shit.Stacey had come on to him several times through the years, and he said each time that he didn’t see her that way, but she never seemed to hear it. It had gotten to the point where he thought she might be incapable of hearing anything about herself that wasn’t high praise, the way older people can’t hear really high notes.“Maybe,” Steve said, “But there’s no excuse for treating people like that.”Jason and Chrissy shifted down closer to the group when Isaac did.“Agreed,” Isaac said, “we’re glad you’re here, Max.”“Yeah,” Chrissy smiled, “I think you’ll fit in just fine.”Jason smiled and pointed to Chrissy. “Same,” he said through a mouthful of baked potato.“That’s really sweet, guys,” Max said, “thanks.”Steve rubbed her back comfortingly, and could feel how tense she was. He sighed. Lunchroom politics took no prisoners.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Max had initially been relieved when their parents got home on Tuesday, since Neil and Susan’s presence meant Billy’s abuse now had limitations. That had been Max’s first night sleeping alone in more than a week, and Billy hadn’t bothered her on Wednesday night either.But despite having the bed to herself again, Max had slept terribly both nights. She remembered what Billy said about not being off the hook, and she was certain he would come into her room at some point. Restful sleep became impossible with the constant imagined sounds and phantom touches jolting her awake throughout the night.Max hated sharing her bed with Billy, but at least she’d been able to sleep a little those nights. Now, the anxious uncertainty of what he’d do and when he’d do it robbed her of peace entirely. So between that and Neil Hargrove’s habit of stirring up even more volatile energy in the house, their parents’ return was a lose/lose, really.“Are you sleeping okay, honey?” Susan asked, startling Max out of her sulky reverie. She had been poking absentmindedly at her breakfast, thinking about ways she could steal her mother’s sleeping pills without her noticing.“Not really,” Max shrugged.“Why not?”“I don’t know,” she said, which, of course, was code for ‘I was afraid your stepson would come into my room and force himself inside me like he’s been doing for the past two weeks,’ but her mother didn’t catch it.Susan frowned. “You’re too young for under-eye circles. They really stand out on skin as fair as ours.”Max looked up at Susan, wondering if she could use her mother’s vanity to her own advantage. “Can I try one of your sleeping pills tonight?” she asked, “Homecoming is on Saturday, and I look like the walking dead.”Susan blinked at her, surprised. In Max’s foggy, sleep deprived head, she had forgotten that she hadn’t broached this subject yet. Oops.“You’re going to Homecoming?!” Susan asked, “I thought you hated dances! What made you change your mind? Did someone ask you?”Neil peered over his newspaper, interest piqued.Max sighed. She might as well get this over with. “Yes…Steve.”“Steve?” Susan asked, “The one who you worked with at the diner?”“Right.” Max swallowed nervously. "As of Tuesday, he’s actually my—um, my boyfriend.”“Boyfriend?” Neil asked, folding his newspaper. “Who the hell is this kid, again?”“You’ve met him,” Max said, “He drove me home after work a few times this summer, and is on the basketball team with Billy.”Neil thought for a moment. “The captain, with the hair?”“Yeah.”Susan gasped in delight. “Oh, Max, I’m so happy! I was starting to think—I mean, you’re such a pretty girl, but—”Neil looked up at his son, who had entered the kitchen during the inquisition and was filling his plate with scrambled eggs. “Billy, did you know about this?”“Yeah,” he said.“Why am I just hearing about it, then?”“I told you,” Max grumbled, “it only happened Tuesday.”“Is that true?” Neil asked Billy, not her.“Yeah,” Billy said again, through a mouthful of eggs.Neil grunted in assent and regarded Max with a condescending glare. “I hope I don’t have to tell you to be very careful of your behavior, Maxine.”Every part of Max wanted to roll her eyes and tell him to go fuck himself. He never gave this speech to Billy. But she held her tongue. “No,” she said, “you don’t.”“You don’t just represent yourself, you represent this family. I expect you to conduct yourself with modesty. Is that clear?”Modesty. She had to bite back the bitter laugh that rose in her throat. Neil had raised a son that had no qualms about rape, blackmail, and general violence, but simply being a woman in a relationship put Max’s morals under scrutiny.She cleared her throat and swallowed her pride. “Yes.”“Yes, what?”She looked over into Neil’s hazel eyes. They were cold and narrow, so very unlike his son’s dangerously inviting, softly rounded deep blue ones that he must have gotten from his mother. Max wondered idly what she was like, and how different Billy would be if he was raised by her, rather than Neil.“Yes, sir,” she said.Neil nodded and brought his newspaper back up. “I have to admit, I’m surprised. I thought you’d bring home some tattooed degenerate, like that Munson character. Seems like you’re cleaning up your act.”Max scowled at his newspaper, and spotted Billy suppress a grin. Pricks.She decided to strike again while the iron was hot. “Also,” she said, “some girls in our Homecoming group are spending Saturday night at Chrissy Cunningham’s lakehouse after the dance. I thought I might go with them.”Max looked at Susan, who looked surprised again, and delighted. She clearly wanted to say yes, but looked over at her husband for confirmation.Neil looked at Max suspiciously. “‘Some girls,’ huh?”“Yeah,” said Max, feigning light disinterest, “I wasn’t going to go, since it’s mostly cheerleaders I don’t know that well, but they’re in Steve’s friend group so I figured it might be good to get to know them.” Max shrugged and looked back down at her food. “But honestly, I was looking for an excuse not to go, so I don’t care that much.”Max was fully aware of how out of character the ask sounded, so she had to tack on the bluff for good measure. She knew Neil wouldn’t let her go if he knew it was actually Jason’s lake house, and that her companions would be three male basketball players and their dates.From the panicked look on her mother’s face, the reverse psychology worked on at least one of them. Susan Mayfield would not want to pass up this chance to have a normal, popular daughter.“Maxine, don’t be like that,” Susan said, turning to Max, then back to Neil, “She should go, right, honey? It would do her some good to have a group of girlfriends for a change.”Neil chuckled in disbelief. “Cheerleaders, and you?” He sighed, shaking his head. “A minute ago I would have called that horseshit, but you’re going steady with a basketball captain; up is down, left is right…” He looked at her and leant forward. “You give me your word that you’re not lying, Maxine.”She nodded and looked him in the eye. “You have my word.” She felt no guilt about lying to Neil. His son was the reason she’d gotten so good at lying in the first place.Neil examined her face and wasn’t able to spot the lie. He sat back, satisfied. “Alright then, fine. Maybe you’ll trade in that skateboard for some pom poms.” He chuckled to himself.“Did you find a dress already?” Susan asked.“I thought I’d just wear that one I wore to Aunt Dot’s wedding.”Susan recoiled like Max had just confessed to murder. “Absolutely not,” she said, “I’ll take you dress shopping tonight.”“Okay,” Max nodded.Susan sighed happily, giddy that her daughter seemed to be turning a new, traditionally feminine leaf. “I can’t wait.”Max smiled halfheartedly at her mom. She’d been looking through catalogues for dresses, but thanks to Billy, her options were limited to those that covered the marks on her back. Some of the belt bruises had faded, but many remained, with a vengeance. There were dark purple stripes mostly centered in her mid back, but one stretched up to her left shoulder blade.The dress was the least of her problems, though; Max thought this weekend might be the first time her and Steve had sex, but she couldn’t let him see her back.It was pretty clear what the bruises were, and she couldn’t exactly blame it on a lamp post or a fall this time. She figured she’d just have to make sure it was dark, not let him turn her around, and put her shirt back on before they went to sleep.Max glanced at Billy, who was smirking with a knowing look in his eye. She directed her gaze back down to her food. He had ruined so much. She wouldn’t let him ruin this.It was around 2AM, and the Mayfield-Hargrove house was quiet as Billy stood behind his bedroom door, listening for movement.He hadn’t tried sneaking into Max’s room while their parents were home yet. He had left her alone the last two nights, content with the low-risk option of jerking off to his polaroids of her, but that had gotten old quickly. He was restless tonight, and a little annoyed.Max had definitely lied this morning about that Homecoming outing. She would rather die than go to the lake with just the cheerleaders…Harrington had to be going. That meant she was finally going to let him fuck her.Even though he didn’t see Harrington as a threat, it didn’t make it less annoying that Billy would have to share Max with that prick. He liked knowing that he was the only one that had ever been inside her, and he didn’t want company.He guessed he’d have to be content with the fact that he had much more access to Max than Harrington did, and could fuck her much more—and much better—than he could. Also, Billy had been her first, and Harrington couldn’t take that away.Billy carefully opened and slipped through his door, then closed it soundlessly behind him before creeping over to Max’s. He cast one last look towards the bedroom at the end of the hall. His dad and Susan had a bathroom in their bedroom, so they would only come out on the rare occasion they wanted water or something. He was in the clear.Billy opened Max’s door and closed it quietly behind him. Max was sound asleep, and the copper hair that was strewn about her face and pillow shone in the sliver of moonlight that fell over her. Her face was turned towards him, and she looked more dead than asleep; she was sprawled out on her stomach and her mouth hung open as the hair draped over it shuddered from her steady breaths.He walked over and pushed Max’s hair out of her face. She didn’t stir. He pulled back the blanket slowly, but she was still out cold. Susan must have given her the pills she asked for.Max was only in a tee and some powder blue underwear that made her ass look great. She had full, shapely glutes for someone of her size…he guessed skateboarding was good for something. Billy started stroking himself, thinking of being inside that ass last week. He’d bet money Harrington was too much of a pussy to ask her to take it in the ass, or her throat for that matter. So Billy would still be the only one that had staked his claim there for a while.There was already a solid tent in his boxers as he reached down and carefully pulled her underwear off. Again, no response. He pushed her legs apart, which garnered a small stir, but she just shifted her right leg up a little, inadvertently giving him a better view.As he continued to jerk himself off, he wondered if he could get inside her before she woke up, and how she’d react if he did. He ran his fingers through her lower lips. They were dry. He could try to just shove it in, but she was so tight he thought he might even injure himself in there without a little help.Billy pulled Max’s shirt off up over her shoulders, and she stirred a little more, but was soon still again. He thought that would wake her up for sure—what the hell was in those pills?He regarded the marks on her back for a minute. Even in the dark, those things stood out. It was possible that she wouldn’t even have sex with Harrington because she didn’t want him to see these bruises. He hadn’t even thought about that, but relished the possibility.He carefully flipped her onto her back—she issued some questioning murmurs and half opened her eyes for a moment before they closed again. He jerked off more looking at her breasts, and teasing both her nipples until they contracted and peaked. She didn’t even have to be awake to make him hard.Billy took off his boxers, got on the bed, spread Max’s legs and positioned himself between them, admiring the pink little center between curtains of dark orange curls as he passed it. He brought his face level with hers, wanting to watch her face change when she saw him.He reached down between her legs and ran his fingers along either side of her clit, then started to gently tease it, watching her face closely for a reaction. There wasn’t much more than an eyebrow twitch, so he increased the pressure and started rhythmic circles. After a little while Max’s chest started to rise and fall more dramatically, with more staccato breaths, and her mouth fell open to take in more air.Billy couldn’t believe she was still asleep. He wondered if it would be possible to make her come like this. Max turned her head further into the pillow and a tiny moan escaped her mouth. Shit, he wanted to be inside her right now. He sunk a finger inside her and ground his palm into her clit. She was getting wetter by the second, and a blush rose in her neck.When he maneuvered another finger inside her she inhaled sharply, and opened her eyes, blinking herself blearily out of a deep sleep. Billy quickly clapped his hand over her mouth and let his chest fall to hers as she screamed in terror.“Shut up—it’s me,” he hissed.Her wide eyes were bloodshot as she recognized him, and what was happening. Her eyelids drooped back down as a glazed, exhausted look settled over her.“No noise, remember?” Billy asked.Max nodded weakly, and he took his hand away“Billy, I’m so tired,” she slurred.“Just lay back, and remember what happens when you make a sound.” He looked at her to make sure his words had made it into her foggy brain, and she nodded again, letting her head fall to the side in resignation.Billy shifted downwards and pushed Max’s legs even further apart as he brought his face down between them. Something about being met with the gentle heat of this space made him feel powerful. This secret place was hidden from the rest of the world, but not from him. What he did with it could change a woman’s entire life, and it was in his control—and by extension, so was she.He wanted to taste her, then take her again, harder than last time. He gripped the back of her thighs and pulled her warm cunt to his lips, which started to continue the work his fingers began. He felt her flinch and recoil as he sucked her clit into his mouth—she was probably surprised at how hot her body had gotten without her involvement.Billy tongued her with a passionate recklessness and soon felt her start to writhe as her breathing became more labored. Max reached down and pushed at his shoulders, like it was too much, but he didn’t stop. Her breaths started to sound more panicked and then abruptly stopped. He glanced up and saw her pull a pillow over her face as her hips rolled into his face and her toes curled into the mattress. He could hear the muffled sound of a hard, shaky exhale, followed by a whisper of a whine.Billy crawled back up so he was level with Max’s face and pulled the pillow off her head. Her flushed breasts heaved as she looked up at him with heavy lids. Her disheveled hair was strewn about her red face, and she’d never looked more beautiful to him.He kissed her hard and rubbed his cock against her folds, teasing her and stoking her palpable anxiety, then lined up his cock head with her slick entrance and pushed it in about halfway as she inhaled and exhaled sharply with the effort to take him.But Billy barely gave her a chance as he grabbed the backs of her knees and pushed them up roughly, eliciting a surprised gasp as they hit her breasts and he pulled them further apart. He hadn’t done this to her yet, but it was one of his favorite positions. He leaned over her and locked her knees in place with his elbows, gripping the mattress in an effort to suppress the urge to cry out in ecstasy as gravity helped him sink into her tight cunt almost entirely.He pressed his body and face to hers and bit her lip as he started thrusting. Max panted with effort; he had never gone this deep and this fast so quickly and the way she screwed her eyes shut, grimaced, and crinkled her forehead showed a steep learning curve.Billy could see how badly Max wanted to cry out, but his lessons the other day must have worked, because the sounds he did hear were quiet, strangled noises that mostly died in her throat as she tried to breathe through it.She tried to adjust herself, but it didn’t work. That was part of why he liked this position; she couldn’t wiggle away, change the angle or fuck up his rhythm once he got going. She could only lay there and take it.He lifted his chest up a little to admire her breasts under him, and the way they jiggled when he slammed his hips into hers. He kept at it even as she grimaced, inhaling sharply each time he did it. He might never get tired of this.“Hold your legs up,” Billy commanded, and Max did as he said while a single tear fell from each eye back toward her ears.Now that his arms were free, he could reach down and rub her clit as he kept up the onslaught. He was getting close, and wanted her climax to push him to his.Max made a small, distressed noise as Billy sheathed himself in her fully, circling his hips and enjoying the soft warmth of her walls hugging his shaft. He dropped his head down to kiss her, and she gasped when he started going at her clit furiously again.He let out a low grunt in effort to control himself as her walls fluttered around him, trying to coax the cum out of him too early.Max’s face and chest were bright pink, and sweat glistened along her hairline. She was close, too.“I’m so fucking deep inside you, Max,” he growled in her ear, “No one else is ever gonna fill you out like this. You like it when I go deep, don’t you?”Max closed her eyes and threw her head back, but they both knew she couldn’t fight it. Billy could see her hands shake as she held the backs of her thighs.Billy put his free hand over her mouth. “I know you want to make noise, you slut. Do it. Come for me.”A mournful little sound jumped out of Max’s throat before her mouth opened against his palm and uttered a soft, whimpering cry as her cunt contracted powerfully around him, shoving him over the edge himself.“Yes, fuck,” he grunted as he emptied his balls inside her, and groaned as their hips pulsed against each other. The sounds she made against his hand stoked his fire for longer than it should have, and he felt like she’d completely drained him dry by the time he collapsed on top of her.Billy turned his head towards her curiously, realizing this was the first time she wasn’t crying after he came. The tears he saw before had dried. Was it Susan’s drugs, maybe? Or had she just finally learned to accept her situation?Max’s head felt fuzzy, and her body felt like it was sinking into the mattress even before Billy went limp on top of her, but her nerve endings were clearly wide awake. She hadn’t wanted to give Billy the satisfaction of climaxing to his demeaning coercions, but her body didn’t give her a choice. The familiar feeling of Billy’s cock spasming inside her sore cunt once again added insult to injury.She closed her eyes, hoping unconsciousness would take her again. She felt Billy’s hand move away from her mouth to the side of her face, and she flinched as his rough stubble grazed her chin just before he pried her lips open with his. His warm tongue forced its way into her mouth, and she lazily reciprocated. He kissed her and groped her for what seemed like a while, and he remained inside her the whole time so she began to fear he’d start over. But eventually he pulled out and pushed himself off her.Max let her head fall to the side, feeling shame close its ghoulish grip around her heart, and wanted nothing more but to sit in a scalding hot shower and weep. But she refused—now was the time for discipline. The Max that she needed to be right now had no use for crying; it had never helped her before, and neither had shame, for that matter.No, she wouldn’t cry tonight. Here in the dark, she had done what she needed to do to survive the night. The sun would be up in a few hours, and this would be nothing but a bad dream in the rearview.Max flinched as the flash of her polaroid camera went off above her.“Couldn’t resist,” Billy chuckled, “your tits look perfect right now.”Max shot him a hateful look before she pulled the blanket over herself and turned her back on him. She waited until she heard her door open and close softly to finally close her eyes.Her body demanded sleep, and the drugs enforced it. Max gave in to the dreamless black, eager to leave this broken part of herself behind, and run like hell toward the sliver of hope on her horizon.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Max’s stomach flipped when she heard the doorbell. She had really hoped Billy would be gone by the time Steve got here to pick her up for the dance, but she could see from her bedroom window that his car was still in the driveway.She heard the front door open and listened. To her relief, it was her mother’s voice she heard greet Steve and start chatting with him.Max glanced at herself in the mirror again. Her mother had curled her hair and done her makeup, and Max surprisingly didn’t hate it. Susan hadn’t gone overboard with the blush, the green and gold eyeshadow was tasteful enough, and she’d added a dark red lip for a touch of drama.Max turned around to examine her back in the mirror again. Even though she’d tested it extensively, she was still nervous, for some reason, that the dress would shift and reveal her bruises.The deep green satin dress hadn’t been her first choice; it was one-shouldered with a huge ruffle along that shoulder, and she preferred simpler, off-the-shoulder sleeves. But the discoloration on her back reached up to her left shoulder blade, so the style she wanted wasn’t an option. This dress conveniently hid her left shoulder blade, and though she wasn’t crazy about the ruffle, she liked the simplicity of the rest with its gold belted waist and long, flowing skirt.She remained anxious about what would happen later tonight, but tried to put it out of her mind for now. She slipped on her black pumps, took a deep breath and walked out of her room and into the living room, where Steve was shaking Neil’s hand and introducing himself.Steve turned around when he heard the click of heels on the hardwood floor, and Max watched his face carefully to gauge his reaction. His eyebrows raised and mouth opened slightly before the corners of it stretched out and upward into a wide smile. He exhaled and shook his head. “You look incredible.”“Doesn’t she?” Susan crooned, her big blue eyes full of more pride than Max had ever seen before. Even if the night was a disaster, at least one person had their dreams come true tonight.Max smiled at Steve. “Thanks,” she chuckled, “you look pretty sharp yourself.”“Okay, you two, over here—I need a photo before you go,” Susan said, “Max, where’s your polaroid?”Max felt a swipe of nausea. That camera’s only use recently had been to capture her worst moments, and it felt cursed. She also thought Billy might have it in his room. But she knew her mom wouldn’t back down from the photo.“I’ll get it,” she said, and walked back towards her bedroom.She turned the corner into the hallway and flinched, having nearly walked right into Billy. He had her camera in his hands.“Looking for this?” he asked.She nodded. He looked her up and down, smirking with an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips.“You look good,” he said, and held out the camera. She took it and broke her eyes away from his. “Thanks,” she said quietly, then turned around and walked back to the living room.Max wished she hadn’t looked into Billy’s eyes. There was a smug, knowing look in them that made her sick. He knew he had cast a cloud over this night. He knew Max wouldn’t fully be able to enjoy her freedom knowing what awaited her when she returned. He knew everything she did with Steve would be tinged with the guilt and shame of what she’d been doing with Billy the past few weeks.Max handed the camera to Susan. She took it and ushered Max over towards Steve, who must have caught the change in Max’s expression. His brow furrowed slightly.“You okay?” he asked quietly.Max smiled and nodded at him. “Yeah, yeah I’m good.” She turned her smile towards the camera and posed with Steve as Susan snapped the photo and beamed at them.Neil stepped beside her. “So Steve,” he said, crossing his arms, “will you bring Max up to the lake tonight?”“No, sir,” Steve chuckled, “no guys allowed on that trip, from what I hear. You girls are carpooling, right?”Max nodded, pleased with herself. She had anticipated Neil’s little trap, and briefed Steve yesterday on the operating lie for tonight. “Right.”Neil seemed satisfied with the answer. “Okay, then. You two had better get going.”Susan hugged Max and handed over her overnight bag.“I got it,” Steve said, intercepting the bag.“What a gentleman,” Susan smiled and winked very subtly at Max. “Have a nice time, honey.”“Thanks, mom,” Max said as she pulled the front door open, eager to make her exit.“You too, Steve,” Susan smiled at him. “Thanks, Mrs. Hargrove.” Steve smiled at Susan, then nodded at Neil, “Good night, sir.”Max waved goodbye as she hastily slipped through the door with Steve close behind.They walked to the car in silence, glancing briefly at each other. Max saw that Steve was, like her, suppressing a grin.They got into the car and waved goodbye to her parents one more time. When Neil and Susan were confidently out of view, they high-fived and started laughing.“Did you see his face?” Max asked, “That prick was so sure he’d caught me.”“He should have known you’d be a step ahead.”Max sighed happily. “Glad that’s over.”“Now the fun part,” Steve smiled at her and held out his hand.She took it and smiled back at him. “Now the fun part.”Despite the head start they’d given themselves earlier in the week, Max and Steve elicited plenty of lingering looks. Luckily, someone had spiked the punch, which took the edge off how uncomfortable all the attention made Max.The night was surreal; Max was getting more compliments than she ever had before, including some from people that she was pretty sure were not aware she existed until this week. She wished Rita and Eddie were there to make fun of the situation with her. She was in uncharted waters, and clung to Steve for dear life.Max was thrilled to see Steve’s friend Isaac had brought Samantha as his date, a girl she sort of knew from parties at the skatepark. Sam was artsy and into punk music, but she used to be a cheerleader and was very pretty, so her relationship with Isaac was less of a stretch than hers and Steve’s. Still, it was nice to have someone around who straddled both her worlds a little.Max, Steve, Isaac and Sam were able to sneak a few glasses of punch before the supervising faculty caught on to the sudden uptick of interest in the beverage table. Between the liquid confidence and a string of fun songs from the DJ, Max began to loosen up.She danced with Steve for what must have been a straight hour. Neither of them were a particularly gifted dancers, but Steve made up for it in entertainment value. He lip synced “The Power of Love” with honestly impressive precision, admitting afterward that he saw Back to the Future five times in theaters and played nothing but the soundtrack cassette for three months.Everyone else seemed to fade away when Max and Steve were dancing, talking, or laughing together. Even when he just looked into her eyes, he made her feel like she was the only other person on the planet.Max’s arms were wrapped around Steve’s neck and Steve held her hips close to his as they swayed gently to “Can’t Fight This Feeling.” It was too hokey for her to ever admit it out loud, but she felt like the song was playing just for them as REO Speedwagon sang about starting out as friends, growing closer and feeling safe together.

And even as I wanderI'm keeping you in sightYou're a candle in the windowOn a cold, dark winter's nightAnd I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might

Max wondered where she would be if she had to suffer Billy without being able to look forward to her relationship with Steve. He was her light in the dark.But she couldn’t help reminding herself that Steve had no idea Max was in the dark, and because he didn’t know that, he didn’t truly know her. And if he found out what she was hiding from him, the flame on that candle would meet a fatal gust of wind, and she’d be left alone in the cold, dark winter.Max felt prickly heat behind her eyes as the chorus swelled in, and willed the tear back into her face. She lost the battle—the tear escaped as she blinked and looked down, quickly but carefully trying to wipe the tear away without smudging her makeup.“Hey, what’s wrong?” Steve asked.Damn his attentiveness. Max’s eyes were fixed on the floor, but she could feel his big brown eyes searching her face.“Nothing,” she chuckled, “I’m just…I’m a softie. A lot of songs make me cry.”“Ah, I get it. Everyone’s got one.”“Oh yeah?” she raised an eyebrow, “What’s yours?”“‘Everybody Have Fun Tonight.’”Max pushed him playfully and laughed. “Shut up.”“No, I’m serious. I want to Wang Chung tonight so bad, but I…I just don’t know how. No one ever taught me to Wang Chung, Max.”Max laughed. “You’re an idiot.”“Okay, okay, I do have one actually.”Max looked at him doubtfully.“‘Dust in the Wind.’ That song catches me in the wrong mood, I’m crying like a baby.”Max smiled and cocked her head, intrigued and a little honored by the fact he’d tell her something like that. It was emotional depth she had never experienced from the men in her life.“Interesting,” she said, “Existential angst is what gets you, huh?”“I’m sure it would if I knew what that meant.”“It’s that kind of anxious feeling you get when you think too much about being human.”Steve thought for a moment. “Yeah, I guess so. I just start tripping out when I think about how something—or someone—can be the most important thing in our lives, but they could be gone forever in a second.”“I know,” Max sighed, “it’s terrifying.”“Yeah. But I guess that’s what lights a fire under our ass. There’s a chance we could die before finding something that makes us happy.”Max nodded and smiled. “I’m glad I found at least one thing then.”Steve smiled back. “Me, too.”Steve leaned in for a kiss, but just before his lips could touch Max’s, the music volume lowered and microphone feedback cut through the auditorium, making everyone flinch.Heads swiveled toward the stage, where the class president, Nancy Wheeler, took the mic with an apologetic expression.“Sorry about that, everyone,” she said, “but we just finished counting the votes, and it’s time to announce our Homecoming King and Queen.”There was a smattering of applause. Max rolled her eyes. She had only submitted her vote for Isaac and Sam maybe a half hour ago, just before voting ended, but had already forgotten about it. She knew she didn’t have a chance, and had been bracing herself for Steve to get it alongside someone like Stacey.“Turn the music back on!” A guy shouted from near the snack table, and a laugh rippled over the crowd.“In a minute,” Nancy smiled, and waved an envelope. She had the Queen’s crown around her wrist and the sash in her other hand. The Vice President, Carol held the King’s regalia.“Drumroll please,” Nancy said, and some in the crowd started drumming against the high top tables and speakers.“The 1985 Hawkins High Homecoming King and Queen are…” she opened the envelope slowly.Max sighed. She wished they’d just toss the crown to whoever it was and keep it moving.“Steve Harrington and Maxine Mayfield!”Max froze, positive she hadn’t heard Nancy correctly. Even as people around her began to turn around, smiling and cheering at her, she thought they must have misheard, too. She felt Steve lightly shake her and looked up at him. He was laughing.“Don’t look so shocked!” he said, taking her hand and leading her up towards the stage.Max looked around, suddenly suspicious at the crowd applauding and looking at her. Was this a prank? Had Stacey or someone organized a Carrie situation? Her mother would be furious if she came home with this new dress covered in pig’s blood.She heard a loud whistle from nearby and spotted Sam taking her fingers out of her mouth to applaud and smile at them. Isaac was pumping his fist in the air and started a “Steve” chant that spread among the basketball players scattered in the crowd. Max smiled nervously at them, then leaned in close to Steve. “I—is this…“ Max was having difficulty stringing words together, “is it a couple’s thing, now? Did they have to vote for me to vote for you?”“No,” Steve chuckled, “they could’ve voted for anyone. They chose you.”Max frowned at him, looking for a better explanation. “I don’t get it.”“I do,” he said, and held her hand as she lifted the hem of her skirt to walk up the stairs without tripping. Once she made it to the stage, Max tried to smile, but it was just a reflex. Her anxiety was very much still in charge. Steve was in his element, bowing and pulling faces at his friends in the crowd as they chanted his name, but he didn’t let go of Max’s hand until Carol had to put the sash around him.As if all of this wasn’t already uncomfortable enough, Max was now face to face with her boyfriend’s ex. But Nancy seemed cordial enough. She smiled at Max as she gently placed the crown on her head, then put the sash around her, and backed up to join in the applause.Steve held out his arm and Max took it. She followed his lead, smiling and raising an uncertain hand to wave as Jonathan, the newspaper photographer, snapped a photo of them. She was glad Jonathan was there to document it. It felt like a strange dream, and over the long weekend, Max could probably convince herself that it had been.It was an unseasonably cold night, so once the group of six got to the Carvers’ lake house, they had a couple drinks together around the fireplace while the house warmed up before retiring to their rooms. They chatted and played some card games, and Steve won a coin toss that landed him and Max in the master bedroom.Max was in the en-suite bathroom of her and Steve’s room, and had just changed out of her dress and into a flannel with nothing but a lacy black pair of underwear on underneath. She took off her heavy, gold plated earrings and placed them beside the sink, but as she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror, she decided not to wash off her makeup yet. It made her feel sexier.She was in total disbelief that the last few hours of her life had happened. She had left the Hawkins High auditorium with her Homecoming Queen sash and crown intact—and notably free of pig’s blood—but she still felt like something was amiss…like this was too good to be true. The other shoe had to drop at any moment. Right?Maybe not. There was a small part of her that thought this could be the universe rewarding her for surviving what Billy was putting her through. It was only fair…but in her experience, fairness was not something the universe valued much.Or, maybe her life was about to get a lot worse, and this was the universe’s way of treating her to something nice before it destroyed her—like a death row inmate’s last meal. Max took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. She’d think herself into oblivion if she continued like this.The cynical, suspicious, catastrophizing part of her didn’t belong here, and needed to get the hell back behind the Wall. The Max on this side wanted to trust that life could actually be fair. This Max didn’t overthink the good things that happened to her—she just enjoyed them. This Max suspected that, maybe, sex wasn’t something to fear, and she wanted the man waiting for her in the bedroom to prove that to her.Max opened the door and walked back into the bedroom, where Steve was leaning against the windowsill, admiring the view of Lovers’ Lake. He had changed out of his suit and into green plaid pajama pants and a grey t-shirt.She walked up next to him and looked out at the picturesque scenery. A thin wooden dock bobbed gently in the black water as the wind tossed dry leaves around and blew ripples in the lake’s moonlit surface. It was serene, but did little to calm Max’s nerves.Steve’s gaze drifted from the window down to Max. There was a beautiful view outside, but he much preferred the one beside him.The first two buttons of Max’s shirt were unbuttoned, and he could see the outline of her nipples in the blue flannel. He could almost feel the direction of his blood flow shift. Keep it together, Harrington. But as her crystalline blue eyes shifted to look up into his, Steve’s desire for her threatened to entirely take over. He wanted to bury his face in the voluminous orange curls that fell down her back and just inhale her warm, floral scent. But that would very likely freak her out.Max placed a hand on his hand that was resting on the windowsill, and he took it, then her other hand, and pulled them to his chest. She slid one arm up and around the back of his neck, and he took her face in one hand and her waist in the other and kissed her.The taste of her lipstick was weirdly pleasant as he sucked on her bottom lip. She pried his lips open with hers to thrust her tongue against his, and he reciprocated hungrily, snaking his hand up through her hair to the back of her head.His hand on her hip shifted downwards, and he felt her tense up when it slid down to her backside. He separated their faces and noticed the hand that she rested on his chest was shaking slightly.“Hey,” he whispered, “we don’t have to do this, if you don’t want to.”“I do,” she said, “I swear. I’m just nervous, that’s all.”“I don’t want to pressure you into anything. I’m perfectly fine with cuddling and going to sleep, if that’s what you want. I’m great at cuddling, ask anyone.”She laughed. “Steve, I’m okay, really.”“Okay,” he said, relieved. He would have stopped if that’s what she wanted, but it would’ve taken real strategic cuddling placement to hide his growing erection. “But the second you’re not—even a little bit—you promise you’ll tell me?”Max was smiling, but a strange, sad look that Steve couldn’t quite decipher flickered across her eyes for a moment.“I promise,” she said quietly. “I want this, Steve. I have for a long time.”“So have I. You have no idea.”“Show me, then,” she purred, then grabbed his hand and slid it back down to rest on her ass underneath the flannel.Steve gripped it greedily and exhaled. He could feel the rough texture of lace clinging to the soft curve. He’d been turned on before, sure, but this was different; it was almost like an ache. He pulled her hips to his and leant back down to draw her into a passionate kiss.Max’s soft hands worked their way under his shirt as she kissed him. He pulled it up over his head and tossed it on the floor before pulling her close again. They kissed fervently, and Steve explored her body with his hands as she unbuttoned her flannel. Steve’s heartbeat noticeably sped up when she pulled her shirt open.He admired the pale, pert mounds and ran his hands over them—they fit perfectly in his palms. Max let out a heated exhale as she started to back up towards the bed, pulling him with her by the drawstring waist of his pants. Her hand wasn’t shaking anymore.She fell backwards onto the bed. Steve fell with her, pushed her up further into the middle of the queen sized mattress and crawled between her legs. He was hypnotized by the way her breasts softly moved when she was jostled, and couldn’t help but lean down to kiss them, sucking her nipple into his mouth as his tongue explored their taste and texture.Half of Steve wanted to tear Max’s underwear off and be inside her already, but the other half wanted to remain like this forever. He loved the little stimulations that worked together to gradually stoke his fire: the heat coming off her, the taste of her breasts in his mouth, the feeling of her smooth legs along his sides and back, the sound of her sighing, the sensation of her fingers raking through his hair and along his back…it was as much about the journey as it was about the destination.After changing the color of both Max’s breasts from alabaster to a blotchy pink, Steve shifted back up and locked her lips into a hungry kiss while he rocked back and forth, rubbing his bulge against her heat as their tongues rolled against each other. She started to moan softly into his mouth, and he felt his cock twitch impatiently as she pressed her hips forward to lean into his rocking motions.He heard her make little noises of pleasure in the back of her throat when he ground his pubic bone against her, so he decided to go all in on that strategy. He leaned forward, burying his face in her neck as he dry humped her, rubbing his pelvis against her sweet spot. She held him close, her hands grasping the back of his neck and shoulder as she started to exhale heavily into his neck.“Don’t stop,” Max breathed.Steve rolled his hips into hers, applying pressure where he knew she wanted it. Her legs hooked around his hips as she writhed against him.“Oh God,” she whined, “right there.”Steve sped up his hips, ramping up the friction, and he felt Max’s thigh muscles start to tremble. Her breathing was getting steadily louder and heavier, and between the contact and the sounds she was making, Steve wasn’t sure how long he could keep himself together.Suddenly, Max’s breath hitched, her legs tightened, and Steve felt her abdominal muscles tense against his as she let out a breathy whimper. The climax sent a shudder through her whole body, and she took in ragged breaths as she came down and Steve gradually slowed his movements.He saw her hands fly to her underwear and start to push them down. He tugged the black lace down past her knees and off her ankles, and lowered himself down between her legs, face to face with her already glistening lips.Steve had thought about this moment, if he was honest, since he met Max. He realized how pretty and funny she was the first day they worked together, and later that same day, he had accidentally seen up her skirt when she bent down to pick up a bottlecap from underneath a table. From then on, Max’s upper thighs were a near-permanent fixture in his thoughts.He pulled her hips to his face and kissed the insides of her thighs. He moved the kisses over slowly to her center, then hovered his mouth over her most sensitive spot. He breathed on it a little to tease her before he skipped over it and started kissing the other thigh. The soft, impatient whine he heard made him smile against her skin.Steve planted a trail of kisses along the other thigh and made it to her lips once again. He brought down his tongue hard with a firm swipe, making her flinch and giggle, then planted his mouth between her lips and sucked her clit into it. He went at the little bundle of nerves with abandon, not realizing at first how incredibly sensitive she apparently was. In what must have been less than a minute, he pushed her to another, stronger orgasm and struggled to contain her bucking hips as she moaned and panted.After she caught her breath, Max propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at him through strands of her disheveled hair.“God, you’re good at that,” she said.“It’s a gift,” he said, and as he looked up at her, he felt like the temperature had gone up ten degrees. Max’s bright, coppery hair cascaded over her face and shoulders, and her body was bare except for the flannel that had fallen down her arms to her elbows. Her face, neck, and heaving chest were all pink and her blue eyes were full of lust.His cock was in charge now. Too impatient to take the few seconds to take off his pants, Steve just shoved them down and leant over her.“Shit, you’re perfect,” he sighed huskily, looking over her body as he positioned himself.”“Steve,” she breathed, “I need you inside of me, right now.” Steve rubbed his cock head along her wetness. “You ready?”“Yes,” she nodded, inching her pelvis closer to his impatiently.Steve pushed himself in slowly, unable to stop a “Fuck,” from falling out of his mouth as his sensitive cock head squeezed into her taut entrance. She gasped softly, and wrapped her legs around him to encourage him to go deeper. He pushed in gently, watching her face for any sign of discomfort. He knew he was slightly thicker than average, and Max’s warm cunt gripped his cock like it was vacuum sealed. She bit her lip and threw her head back, groaning a little, and he paused.“Too much?”“No,” she breathed, taking the hand that was resting beside her face and weaving her fingers with his, “you feel so fucking good, Steve. Keep going.”Steve lowered himself so their chests touched and kissed her neck. “Shit, you’re incredible,” he said, starting to thrust gently, working his way in little by little until his length fully disappeared inside her each time.When Billy got going, no begging or screams of anguish could make him stop. Max wasn’t a person to him—just a body—and because of that, she’d feared for her life more than once while he was fucking her. But Steve cared about how she felt. She felt certain if she asked him to stop, he would. She felt safe, and it shocked her; it had been a long time since she felt that was even an option.Max had been so afraid that Billy had ruined her, body and mind. She was terrified that her body had somehow gotten used to Billy’s abuse as the new normal, and wouldn’t respond to a kinder touch. She was also afraid Steve might be able to tell she’d been repeatedly ravaged by someone else once he was inside her, so when Steve’s cock began to stretch her out, she was glad for the sensation. When Steve filled her, it wasn’t painful; it felt right. Max wasn’t prepared for how different this would feel from what she’d experienced, and it was making her emotional. Steve didn’t just want her body; he wanted her. Her mind and her body were finally on the same page; she was finally experiencing true pleasure.Hope felt like a dangerous thing in her situation, so she had done away with it. She’d been busy making it through the days with a convincing facade, and hadn’t really thought about her future, probably for her own benefit. She didn’t see a way to escape Billy, and she would rather have no future at all than a future under his control. But as she looked into Steve’s eyes, she felt hope thaw her heart; she knew she wanted a future, and she wanted him in it.Max pulled Steve’s face to her neck so she could blink a tear out of her eye and wipe it away without him seeing. Each of his firm, yet gentle thrusts inside her was intoxicating, and every grunt, huff, and groan he emitted made her tighten around him in ecstasy. Her name fell out of his mouth in sighs and whispers, and he massaged her breasts and thighs as she watched his cock vanish into her body over and over.Steve started to speed up experimentally, and lifted his head back up to look at her, making sure she was okay. She grabbed his hips, dizzy with lust. “Harder, and faster,” she whispered, “I’ll say if it’s too much.”Steve gradually increased the force and she made a point to sigh with pleasure, so he would know she was enjoying it. She didn’t care if it hurt her. She just wanted him to enjoy her body enough that he’d never leave.The wet slapping sound that came from his balls hitting her skin as he fucked her, combined with his choked grunts was making Max’s insides throb again.“Oh my God, Steve,” she sighed, “I’m gonna come again. Don’t stop.”He did as she asked, but she felt the back of his neck tense under her palm, and heard his breaths getting heavier.“Max, I’m close,” he breathed, slowing down, “should I pull out?”“It’s okay,” she said, pulling his hips to get the rhythm going again, “I’m on the pill.”He buried his head in her neck and started rutting even harder, lighting up Max’s nerve center more with each thrust. The tension built and built with each impact, and Steve’s grunts of exertion finally pushed Max over her peak.“Fuck, Steve!” she cried in his ear, and he answered with a husky cry of his own as he came hard inside her.Max’s aftershocks pulsed through her and spasmed her walls around his cock, drawing everything out from him and leaving them both panting in mutual satisfaction.He kissed her neck before he rolled to her side and pulled her close. She languidly draped her arm across his chest, and looked up at him to make sure she hadn’t been a disappointment, somehow. His face was bright red, and he hadn’t caught his breath yet, but he smiled as he ran a hand over his face.“Holy shit, Max,” he said.“I think I’m seeing stars from that last one,” she said.“Me, too. It feels medically unsafe to come that hard.”Max laughed into Steve’s chest.Steve pulled her close and kissed her. “You’re amazing. I can’t believe I got this lucky.”“I’m the lucky one,” she said, and held the hand that rested on her shoulder.He had no idea how much she meant that. She could never let him know it, but he had saved her.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

ONE MONTH LATER
“Come on, Red,” Eddie groaned, “what the hell else do you have going on tonight?”Max rolled her eyes. Eddie had been trying to talk her into joining the Dungeons and Dragons club since he met her. It sounded like there were way too many rules to learn, and she’d much rather spend the time skating or reading. Also, she didn’t think a bunch of dudes would take kindly to a new and clueless female interloper.“Schoolwork,” Max scoffed, “Heard of it?”“You know, I think I have,” he stroked his chin, “the concept just never really grabbed me, know what I mean?”Max stretched her legs out on the picnic table seat. “If you want to graduate this year, you might want to look into it.”She pulled her leg warmers further up her calves. It was a chilly, but nice evening, and she, Eddie and Steve were killing time in the outdoor lunch area until their three very different after school activities began.“I’d totally try it if I didn’t have practice, man,” Steve said, playing keep-ups with a soccer ball he found. “It’s a board game, right?”Max cringed. She knew Eddie wouldn’t like that description. “It’s more open-ended than a regular board game,” she said.“That’s an understatement,” Eddie grumbled.“I thought you never played, Max.” Steve said.“She hasn’t,” Eddie sighed, “she just has a basic recollection of things I’ve explained a hundred times.”Steve caught the ball at a bad angle and it flew into the cafeteria door, bounced off and came to rest under the adjacent picnic table. “Damn. That was twenty…something,” he chuckled and sat down next to Max. “You threw me off, Munson.”“Wrong ball, anyway,” Eddie said, doodling on his arm with a pen, “Isn’t yours supposed to be orange?”“Okay, so explain the rules to me.”“Well, from what I gather, you run around tossing the ball into a laundry basket…”Steve snuffed. “I mean the dungeons thing.”  Eddie sighed in frustration, looked at his watch, and pocketed his pen. “Even if it was possible to explain the rules in ten minutes, Harrington, I can’t right now. Gotta go set up.” Eddie grabbed his bag and saluted lazily. “See you kids tomorrow.”“See ya,” Steve said.“Happy dungeoning,” Max waved. Eddie turned and jogged back into the cafeteria.“Quarter past four already,” Steve shook his head, “that went fast.” He stood up and held a hand out to help Max do the same.“It did,” she said, “and the sun’s already going down.”“Yeah,” Steve sighed, “days are getting shorter.”“I have to run to my locker before I head over to the library. Care for a stroll?”“Always,” Steve smiled and draped an arm over her shoulder.They walked together to the deserted locker hall and Steve leant against the lockers beside Max’s as she opened it. She took a couple of notebooks and a textbook out and tried to stuff them in her backpack, but quickly realized she needed to make room.Max looked over and caught Steve smiling at her. She smiled and chuckled self-consciously. “What?”“Nothing,” he shrugged, “just enjoying the view.”Max smirked and moved closer to him. “Yeah? Well, good news: it’s a hands-on exhibit.”Steve laughed, grabbed her hips and pulled her to the locker he’d been leaning on. “That is good news.”They chuckled against each other’s lips, then Steve kissed her, inhaling deeply as he pressed her hips between his and the locker behind her. Max ran her fingers through his soft hair and enjoyed the feeling of his hands moving along her arms and back, pressing the fabric of her clothes into her skin.Steve pulled his face away, but held her hips close. He searched her eyes for a moment with a light smile on his face, and Max wondered what was going on behind those pretty, thoughtful brown eyes.“I love you, Max,” he said.Max froze. That had not even been in the top ten things she thought he might be thinking.Steve put a hand up in response to the obvious surprise on her face. “Don’t feel like you have to say it back right now. I know it’s crazy to say it this early, but, I don’t know, I feel like I’d be hiding something from you if I didn’t.”Max’s stomach had been busy twirling while he was talking. Steve felt like he’d be ‘hiding something’ if he didn’t say how he felt? If he had any idea what she had been hiding, love would be the furthest thing from his mind.But she felt the same way…more so, she thought, than he did. He deserved that truth, at least.“I love you, too,” she said softly, “I think—” she felt the sting of tears and broke her eyes away from Steve’s.“What?”She swallowed, trying to steel herself. “I’m pretty sure you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she said, her voice breaking. A tear rose to the point of no return and she had no choice but to blink it out. She blushed, embarrassed.Steve sighed in relief and pulled her close, rubbing her back comfortingly. “I feel the same way,” he said, “About you, I mean, happening to me. I don’t think I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to you. I don’t know what that’d be. Puberty, maybe?”Max laughed. “What?”“I really like what it’s done with all this,” he gestured to her body, “Big fan.”She shook her head and smiled at him. “Shut up,” she said, and pulled his head towards hers. Their lips connected once again and she relished the taste of his tongue against hers as she hooked her ankle around his calf to pull him closer. Another tear tumbled out of her eye as she thought back on a little more than a month ago, when she never thought she would want a man this close to her again after what Billy did.‘You’re the best thing that has happened to me’ was such a trite expression, and wasn’t usually true; she didn’t believe it could be true for Steve, but it was true for her. He was kind, patient, and made her feel safe. He treated her like a human being that was worth knowing, instead of a foolish girl to be disciplined, or a thing to be used. When she’d been slipping into a deep, black pit, he had grabbed her hand just in time. The pit wasn’t gone, and the danger was still real, but if she just held on…maybe he’d get her clear of it eventually.All she had to do was block out thoughts of the other side of her life, and she was happy. She had gotten pretty good at it, but sometimes, it bled through, like when Steve would notice a new bruise. But Billy had learned to hit her in places and ways that could easily be explained away by a fall from her skateboard, and the cigarette burns were just ‘warts that the dermatologist had burned off.’ Gross, but better than the truth.Max had also started having these episodes when, out of nowhere, her heart would start racing, she would have trouble breathing, and sometimes she would sweat and/or get nauseous. They usually happened in the morning before school. She didn’t know what it was, or what brought it on, and didn’t tell anyone the first few times it happened, but a couple of weeks ago during a particularly bad one that felt like it could be a heart attack, she was afraid for her life and asked her mom for help.Susan said this sort of thing used to happen to her brother, Max’s uncle Cal who had fought in Vietnam. Apparently, Cal would calm down when he breathed deeply in and out of a paper bag, so Susan gave her one and had her try it while she called the doctor. Max thought that had to be nonsense, and shouldn't apply to her, anyway. Uncle Cal had been shellshocked in a war. Max was only dealing with one violent person, not an army.But once she was able to regulate her breathing, she actually started to feel better. Susan wanted to make an appointment with the doctor but Max refused. The doctor wouldn’t do anything more than her mom just had, and she didn’t want to field questions about the injuries and cigarette burns they would find during a check up. She hoped she could find a non-suspicious way to ask Eddie about any drugs that could calm her down.Aside from all of that, she was doing a pretty good job of keeping her nice, normal life separate from the horrible one. All she had to do was block it out, which was easy to do at a time like this, when her senses were overwhelmed by her and Steve’s physical and emotional connection.Suddenly the sound of someone clearing his throat startled Max and Steve apart. Max’s twirling stomach dropped when she saw Billy walking walking down the hallway towards them, already in his practice gear.“Evening, lovebirds,” he said, plucking the toothpick he’d been chewing on out of his mouth and flicking it aside without taking his eyes off them. “Coach is looking for you, Harrington.” He stopped in front of his locker on the opposite wall and turned the combination.Max gathered herself and took a step away from Steve, feeling the flush draining from her cheeks. Until now she had been careful not to let Billy see her and Steve together, hoping if they were out of sight, they’d be out of mind.“Go on,” Max said, “I have to get studying, anyway. I’ll see you later.”Steve sighed. “Okay. See you.” He leant down to kiss her and since Billy had his back turned, she let him, but kept it to a quick peck and turned back to her locker.Max looked through her bag, listening to Steve’s footsteps disappear and Billy’s locker creaking open. As she reached for the textbook in her bag, she realized her hands were shaking.She had been so careful this past month not to mix the separate lives she’d been living, though Billy was good at finding ways to make it harder. Since Homecoming, he had been in Max’s bed nearly every night, inflicting every indignity he could to make up for the fact that he had to share her now. He had tested her, hurt her, but she never screamed when their parents were home, and she never fought back. She would endure the hell on that side if it meant he wouldn’t interfere with her relationship with Steve here on this side.Max hastily shoved the textbook in her locker and was able to fit the two notebooks in its place. She shut the locker and started to walk towards the library, which, unfortunately, was in Billy’s direction.Max kept her eyes on the ground instead of Billy as she walked, flinching when she heard his locker close, and just when she thought she was past him she felt a strong hand grab her arm. She recoiled and looked at him apprehensively. She wondered how long he had been standing there, and if he had heard what her and Steve said to each other.“What’s the rush, Max?” Billy asked, a light smirk on his face that made Max’s already jittery guts twist in anxiety.Max glanced up and down the hallway. They were alone, and it was quiet except for faraway chatter and sneaker squeaks coming from the gym. But surely Billy wouldn’t try anything here. Some students were still around and some teachers would still be in their classrooms…anyone could happen by.She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp but he held tight. “I’m going to the library,” she said through her teeth.“I thought I told you to keep the PDA out of my sight,” he said calmly. Too calmly.Max felt a cold sweat break out on her neck as she registered the intent in his eyes.“I—I didn’t see you—” she stammered through cold lips, “I—”Billy didn’t wait for her to finish the sentence before striding away, and pulling her along with him so roughly that she almost lost her footing. Max realized too late where he was taking her: just a few paces away, to the girls’ bathroom.He opened the door and shoved her onto the tile floor. She hit it hard with the added weight of her heavy backpack and scooted backwards, looking up at him in terror.“What do you want?!”“Guess,” he said, and pulled his shirt off. His chest was glistening lightly with sweat, and his muscles looked extra defined. He’d been working out already, and clearly whipped up his testosterone so much it now outweighed his good sense.“You—we—we’re at school!” she hissed, panic upping her pitch. “Anyone could walk in!”He ran his tongue along his teeth as he laughed. “Better make it quick, then.”Max’s eyes desperately flitted from the door to him. “Billy, think about it, please. This is a really bad idea—”But he wasn’t listening. He reached down and yanked her sweater up over her head. She hadn’t cried the last few times, but tears were gathering quickly and already obscuring her vision as she tried and failed to think of a way to stop him. Someone walking into this would be her worst nightmare come true.  Billy tugged her bra straps off and pulled it down to her stomach, then stood up to release his cock from his gym shorts. It was somehow already almost fully erect.There was no way out. She’d just have to get this over with as fast as she possibly could, and pray no one wandered in. Max didn’t believe in gods anymore, but even if she did, she was pretty sure prayers didn’t count when there was a dick in your mouth.Billy shoved it in her face and her heart pounded in her ears as she closed her lips over the tip and both of her hands around his shaft. It was salty with sweat, but she powered through a desperate, vigorous blowjob as she pumped with her hands. It wasn’t long before his precum joined the unpleasant symphony of flavors.    She felt his hand gather her hair at the scalp and braced. He wasn’t going to make this any more pleasant than it had to be.This was definitely the craziest thing Billy had made Max do. It was a wild risk, but that risk seemed to inject jet fuel into whatever bloodstream ran to his dick. That, and the fact that Max had her tongue down Harrington’s throat a minute ago, but now that tongue was swirling around his cock, desperately trying to get him to come before someone walked in. Billy would return to practice with that image in his head, and Harrington would have no idea.Max gagged as Billy thrust into her mouth, bumping the back of her throat a few times as he held her head still by her hair. He was rock hard in what must’ve been record time. He pulled out of her mouth and she coughed and wiped the spit from her face.“Get up,” he ordered, and tugged on her hair to encourage her to her feet. She whimpered and had barely stood up when Billy pushed her over to the pedestal sink and bent her over it.He unceremoniously reached under her skirt and pulled her underwear down to her knees. He wasn’t going to waste time getting her ready. He didn’t care if it hurt her. In fact, it should; he wanted her to remember this every time Harrington tried to get handsy in the halls.Billy shoved her skirt up and ran his fingers through her lower lips. Max groaned in anxiety and dropped her head forward. He was surprised to find she was already a little wet.Billy leaned forward and pulled her hair so she had to look in the mirror. He raised the hand that had been between her folds and rubbed his wet fingers together. “This for Harrington? Or you just like the taste of my sweaty dick that much?”Max wept and tried to shake him off, unsuccessfully. It had been a while since she protested and tried to fight back this much. He’d have to do something about that when they weren’t on a time crunch.He lined up his cock and buried halfway in Max’s underprepared cunt with a single thrust. She’d gotten plenty of experience in keeping quiet this month, but she still couldn’t stop a pained, strangled cry from escaping between her clenched teeth. Female anatomy was an incredible thing…he didn’t know how Max could stay as tight as she was after all the poundings this thing had taken.Billy thrusted harder still, forcing his length further into her, and drove in over and over, setting a ruthless pace. He was enjoying the view in the mirror over Max’s bowed head, encouraged to fuck her even harder because he liked how he looked doing it. The view when he looked down was perfect too—when he withdrew his cock, her pink inner lips clung to his shaft like they didn’t want to let go.Max’s knuckles were white as she gripped the edge of the sink, and her knees were trembling hard. Her hair fell over her slumped head as her shoulders shook with silent sobs, punctuated by sharp inhales. He was hitting the bottom even though he was inches from being balls deep. He hated it when that happened…and he was sure she did, too.Billy slid his hand down to Max’s clit and started furious circles. He didn’t care about making it easier for her—this was about control. Her head sunk further down towards the sink as she shook her head, not wanting to accept the rumblings of pleasure that were clearly happening. He could literally see it spread through her—her hips flexed inward, patches of red bloomed on her chest, neck and cheeks.Once he heard her breathing get heavy he increased the pressure with his right hand and grabbed her hair with his left. He pulled her head up so she was forced to look in the mirror.“Look at yourself,” he purred, “look how hot you get when I’m inside you. I want you to watch yourself come.”Billy watched Max’s teary eyes glaze over in defeat as she caught a glimpse of herself. He thrusted suddenly, knocking a gasp out of her, and a groan as he circled her clit as fast as he could. She finally shuddered and clenched around him, but not as hard as usual.She’d resisted a bigger climax—he could feel it. Maybe it was her reflection that did it…he thought she never looked hotter as her pink breasts bounced with each thrust and her hair was spread all over her flushed face, but most of all how helpless she was under his control. She’d never really seen herself like that before, and it was probably jarring enough to knock her off course. Oh, well.Billy pushed her so she leant over the sink again and focused on his own orgasm. He shouldn’t have wasted his time with her. It did help with the movement though; he could go faster and was able to get a little further before bottoming out.Finally, his muscles started pulling tighter with a sweet, electric tension and he let go, biting his lip to keep from groaning as loudly as he wanted. He gripped her hips hard as the built up tension exploded out of him and into her. He breathed through the satisfying release and finally pulled out.As soon as he did she hastily bent to pull up her underwear, but he stopped her.“No, bend over,” he ordered, wiping his cock off with a paper towel from the nearby dispenser, “I want to see it drip down your leg.”“Billy—“ she started to protest but he shoved her, forcing her to lean over the sink again.He smiled as she pushed out the huge load of cum, with some blood mixed in. Some dripped on the floor but the rest slid down her lips and her trembling thigh.Max’s shoulders were hunched up to her ears. One hand clutched the top of her hair and the other covered her face in humiliation. Billy lightly slapped her ass cheek and pulled his shorts back up.She cast a nervous glance at the door before grabbing a paper towel and wiping off her leg, and in his post-orgasm clarity Billy realized that she was right; this had been incredibly risky, to the point of stupidity. But he got away with it, and that was all that really mattered at the moment.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Eddie was annoyed at himself. When he was almost done setting up the campaign’s environment in the D&D club’s room, he realized he’d left the map of Greyhawk in his locker, as well as the figurines for the two new villains he planned to introduce. They were already behind schedule, and he could probably do without the figurines but he really needed that map for this part of the campaign.He told the guys to hold their horses and jogged in the direction of senior hall, which was on the complete opposite side of the school. After getting winded pretty quickly, he slowed to a walk as he passed the science lab. He really had to get back in shape.As Eddie turned the corner into the long hall of lockers, he saw two people, a guy and a girl, standing in the middle of the hall maybe 30 feet ahead of him. Something made him stop in his tracks when he realized who he was looking at.Max was easily recognizable by her hair, but Eddie barely recognized her face. It was drawn in clear terror as she tried to shrink away from Billy, who was gripping her arm hard and saying something to her that Eddie couldn’t hear. Neither of them saw Eddie enter the hallway, and when Max tried to take a step away from Billy, he roughly jerked her back toward him.“Hey!” Eddie barked before he could think.Max flinched violently as her widened blue eyes swiveled over to him. Billy didn’t flinch, only turned to scowl down the hallway at Eddie. He kept hold of Max for a moment, then let her go, looking down at her derisively before walking away from her and towards Eddie.Eddie tensed up, bracing for a fight he would absolutely lose as his eyes flitted nervously between Billy and Max. But luckily, Billy didn’t seem interested in him.“Remember what I said,” Billy called back at Max before striding past Eddie and giving him a smug, dangerous look as he passed, like he dared him to say something.Eddie didn’t know if it was cowardice or wisdom, but he didn’t try to stop Billy from leaving. He just walked toward Max, looking back a couple times to make sure Billy didn’t turn around.“Hey,” he said, noticing Max was quickly wiping tears from her face as he got closer, “are you okay?”Max crossed her arms, rubbing the one Billy had been holding. Her face was blotchy, like she’d been crying for a while. “Yeah,” she said flatly, “I’m fine. He’s just being an asshole, as usual.”“Did he hurt you or something?”“Huh? No...”“What happened?”“Nothing,” she said, not looking at him, “just an argument.”Max wiped her nose with the back of her hand, then hastily shoved the hand in her pocket, trying to hide the fact it was trembling. But she wasn’t quick enough. Eddie noticed, and a sick, cold feeling crept into his guts.“Max, what the fuck is going on? What did he do?”Max closed her eyes in frustration. “Eddie, it’s nothing. It’s cold and I’m tired, and—““Don’t bullshit me. That asshole did something to you.”“He just—he yelled at me, that’s all.”Eddie crossed his arms. “He yelled at you,” he repeated doubtfully.“Yes,” she spat, “If you have to know, it’s about to be my…time of the month. My emotions get batshit around now.”Eddie wasn’t convinced, but knew better than to question women when they talked about this kind of thing. He tried to search her face. All he could read was a sort of exasperated resignation, but her body language was defensive and anxious.“What did he say?” he asked.Max sighed. “He told me not to be late to the car, and I didn’t like how he said it, so I bitched at him a little, and he bitched back,” she shrugged, looking at the floor, “You know how him and his dad are about ‘respect’ and whatever…like I said: PMSing. Easily upset. That’s it.”Eddie frowned at her. She was hiding something.“I thought you were headed to the library,” he said.“I’m on my way. I came up here to get my notebooks and ran into Billy.”“Okay, let me grab something from my locker and I’ll walk you over there.”“I told you, I’m fine…”“I know,” Eddie said, glancing nervously back to where Billy last was, “still.”Max nodded and trailed behind Eddie as he walked to his locker. He grabbed the figurines and the map, then shut it and walked with Max over towards the library.Eddie was worried. Max had the same look in her eye now as she did when she showed up to his trailer last month with a bruise on her face and a knot in her skull, asking for prescription painkillers. Back then he just had an uneasy feeling, a vague suspicion that she was more hurt than she was letting on.But now, Eddie was more than suspicious…he was afraid. The way Max looked when Billy had a hold of her just now rattled him. He’d never seen her like that. Max was probably the most stubborn person Eddie had ever met, and she was fearless; she always had a stiff upper lip and a profane word for anyone who disrespected her or her friends. Bullies, cops, men twice her size at the skatepark…she was, as Uncle Wayne would say, a ‘spitfire.’Eddie had never seen Max genuinely afraid of someone, even when it was probably within her best interest to be. But when he turned the corner and saw her facing Billy, she’d been cowed. Her defiant fire normally burned bright in the face of threats, but that mulleted asshole had managed to smother it, somehow.He wouldn’t have been able to do that just by raising his voice. Whatever Billy was doing, it had to be a hell of a lot worse.Max and Eddie reached the library and stopped in front of it.“See you later,” she said, and made to go in but Eddie put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.She looked back at him and Eddie looked down at her, hoping he could get across with his eyes what he couldn’t with his words. He wanted to let her know that he knew something was wrong, and beg her to let him help. Whatever was happening, it broke his heart to think she was going through it alone.“Max,” he said gently, “talk to me? Please.”Max smiled a thin smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about. I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”Eddie sighed, acknowledging defeat, for now. “See you, Red.”

As she walked into the library, Max’s heart felt like it might give out. There weren’t that many students around, but a handful of them looked at her briefly as she came in. Did they know? Had they heard? Had someone walked in while her head was down in the sink, and would the whole school know by tomorrow?Max swallowed hard and tried to act natural as she walked over to the almost always empty reference section. It was an L shaped aisle of tall bookshelves with a dead end, which created a little space that was hidden from the rest of the library. Her and Rita would sit on the floor and do homework together there sometimes.Once she was sure she was out of anyone’s view, Max dropped her bag and fell to her knees beside it. She clutched her chest, which felt like it was being smothered. Her breaths were greedy, but shallow, and only became more so as her suppressed sobs demanded more oxygen.She’d been such an idiot. How could she think she could get away with living two lives? Her life wasn’t sunshine and rainbows, like she wanted to pretend. It was a hurricane of shit, and she wanted out. Max started to feel lightheaded. Maybe these episodes were her body trying to give up, because it understood what her brain didn’t yet: she couldn’t live like this anymore. She’d been resisting, but maybe it would be a kindness to just…let go. She let herself collapse onto the hard carpet and lay on her back, watching black creep into the edges of her vision.But as Max relaxed, her breathing became less impeded, and the black was slowly chased out by the pale glow of the fluorescent overhead lights.“Max?!”Max flinched and felt her heart rate speed up again when she tilted her head up to see Rita staring down at her.Shit. Why were all of her friends choosing right now to show up out of nowhere? Lying was exhausting. Why couldn’t they just let her have a mental breakdown in peace?“Rita,” she said hoarsely as she sat up, then cleared her throat, trying to mask the fact that her breathing wasn’t back to normal yet, “you’re back?”Rita’s eyes scanned Max’s face as she tossed her bag aside and knelt down. She held the back of her hand up to Max’s forehead.“Jesus, you’re cold,” she said, “and pale. Are you sick? Why are you breathing like that?”Max knew she couldn’t get away with firing too many lies off at close range. Rita would smell something fishy. “I’m fine…I just have these episodes sometimes.”“Episodes?” Rita furrowed her brow. “Like, seizures?”“No, it’s like I can’t breathe, and I start sweating, and my neck tenses up. I think it’s genetic. My mom said my uncle used to get them.”Rita frowned. “The uncle that was in the war?”“Yeah. But it doesn’t make sense. He had reason to freak out. I don’t.”“Anyone can freak out, Max,” Rita said, shifting from her knees to sit on the floor, “We haven’t talked in a while, just us. What’s on your mind lately?”Rita had no idea how loaded of a question that was, and that Max couldn’t possibly answer it honestly.She shrugged. “I don’t know, I guess I’m a little stressed about college.”“How are things going with Steve?”“Good,” Max said, deciding to save the recent development for a place where Rita wouldn’t get in trouble for screaming, “Really good.”“What about at home?”Max shifted her gaze to the carpet. “Shitty, but that’s nothing new. I’ve been trying to stay calm and positive lately, so that means actively trying to ignoring my parents and Billy.”Rita snuffed. “Calm and positive? You?”Max rolled her eyes. “The operative word is ‘trying.’”“I mean that’s good and all, but you can’t do it by ignoring who you are. You’re a prickly, moody little over-thinker. And I love that about you.”“Yeah, well that hasn’t been working. So I’m trying something new.”“Uh, sorry—didn’t Steve Harrington make that prickly, moody over-thinker his girlfriend recently? She seems to work for him just fine. She’s part of you. You can’t ignore her just because she makes you sad sometimes. Sad is good.”Max raised her eyebrows. “Sad is good?”Rita sighed. “Yeah, I think so. You remember where I went this week?”Max nodded, sympathy melting away her cynical expression as she remembered why she hadn’t seen Rita for days. She had been in South Dakota for her grandmother’s funeral. “When did you get back?”“Last night.”“Are you okay?”Rita nodded. “I’m good. I was kind of dreading it, but it was actually pretty cool.”“…Cool?” Not a word Max would have associated with death.“Yeah. I had never been through a Sioux funeral, but I was nervous because I knew they last forever and a family member has to sit next to the body at all times. There were two whole days of wakes, and my family was busy cooking and socializing so I ended up sitting with Grandma a lot.”“God,” Max sighed, “I’m sorry…that must have been hard.”“It was at first. But the more I sat with her, the more comfortable I got. I didn’t have a choice; I’d probably piss off some ancestors if I left, and if my mom found out she’d send me to join them. So I had a lot of time to think, and literally face my own fear of death. Isn’t it insane that we spend our whole lives avoiding thinking or talking about something that happens to everyone?”Max shifted uncomfortably. She’d been thinking about it more than usual lately. “Yeah, I guess it is.”“Death is dark and sad and scary, but it’s a part of life,” Rita shrugged, “If you ignore it, it just gets darker and sadder and scarier. Same goes for darkness, sadness and fear, themselves, I think.”Max looked down at her knees. “But if you had an option to choose light over darkness, wouldn’t you choose light every time?”“Of course. But how would you even know what light was if you never saw darkness?”Max glanced at Rita, who was silent for a moment as she looked thoughtfully up at the ceiling.“Was that really profound or did I smoke too much of my cousin’s ditch weed on the res?” Rita chuckled.“Ask me tomorrow,” Max said, looking back down at her shoes. “Gotta chew on that one.”Rita snuffed. They were quiet again, but Max felt Rita’s eyes on her face.“Are you sure you’re alright?”“I’m good,” Max nodded, “I feel better. I need to start working on this homework, though.”“Yeah, I have a terrifying amount of reading to catch up on. Mind if I stick around?”Max smiled. “I’d mind if you didn’t. I need to grab a pen, I’ll be back.”She got up and went back out into the library, walking past the students that had looked at her when she came in and eyeing them nervously. One had gone to sleep. The others were simply working, looking bored.Max took a deep breath, relieved. Of course everyone had only looked at her because it was a natural reflex when someone entered a room. No one had walked in on her and Billy. No one knew. Her talk with Rita had helped calm her down slightly and regain the sanity she’d temporarily lost. She plucked a pen out of the cup on the librarian’s desk and looked down at her hand, which still shook slightly.These episodes were getting worse. She had felt ready to die a few minutes ago…she didn’t want to die! She wanted to graduate, get into film school, move to California with Steve and live their life together. It was a temporary, but overwhelming madness. There was an enemy in her head along with the one sneaking into her bed every night.And now, Billy had proven he could hurt her in the one place she thought she might be safe, the one place where she believed nothing could bleed through from the other part of her life. But here she was, walking through the library with remnants of Billy’s cum inside her, as well as a fresh, aching pain. The Wall was crumbling, and she couldn’t let it.Rita’s talk about light and darkness had sounded nice, but it didn’t apply here. Max’s situation was unique. Steve loved her. He actually loved her. That meant the Wall had been working to keep this part of her life bright, and she had to keep it up.Max knew it would do no good to welcome the darkness; it had already burst in without warning just minutes ago, and convinced her she’d be better off dead. This darkness was hungry, and she had to keep it away from this bright new world of hers. This darkness was too thick, unnatural, and malevolent to be chased away by the light.Letting in the darkness wouldn’t make her dark side brighter. It would only consume the light until there was nothing left.

As he reflected in the shower after practice, Billy thought, maybe, what he’d just done with Max had been a stupid move. It was lucky that no one had walked in, but what if someone had? And then he just had to hammer his point home in the hallway, so now Munson knew something was up. Max was a good liar, but the freak would still be suspicious. Plus, he would probably tell Harrington, who might put two and two together with all of Max’s ‘skateboarding bruises.’It was careless. But Max had made him do it. When he saw her and Steve making out in the hallway, he saw red. The way Max ran her fingers through Harrington’s stupid hair, the blushing smile he brought out in her…she kissed him with actual passion. That was the one thing Billy wasn’t able to make her do, because you can’t fake that. He had her every other way, but you always want most what you can’t have.Billy thought it wouldn’t be an issue being around Harrington—he even thought it might be fun, since he could look him in the eye knowing he was fucking his girlfriend at night. And that had been enjoyable, for a while. But he still hadn’t gotten used to the idea of sharing Max.Over the past month, Billy tried to distract himself with other girls when Max was with Harrington. He’d even slept with Rebecca again, even though she and Keith had started going out the week before. Now, two guys he shared showers with after P.E. had his sloppy seconds—three if Mark and Vicki became official—but it didn’t make him feel better. It didn’t matter how many other girls he fucked, he’d never get control over them the way he had Max.But he was losing that control, because she knew he was limited in how he could punish her. She knew he had to be more careful with her now that someone else was seeing her naked on the weekends, and he hated that. He regretted giving her his permission to date that stupid fucking boy scout.What Billy really wanted was to have Max to himself again, but he couldn’t force her and Harrington to break up. That would draw suspicion, especially after what Munson saw.He had to make them think breaking up was their idea…and he thought he might have an idea how to do it.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy and Max spent the first few minutes of the drive home in silence. Max was nauseous, and spent the whole ride focusing on the horizon, trying not to be sick. Billy had her at a really bad angle in the girls’ bathroom, and she wasn’t ready, so he hit her cervix so many times it felt like he was trying to break through it. Not only was the pain horrible, it was making her feel incredibly sick, and she was bleeding on and off. Max was used to the feeling of a bruised cervix by now, but that didn’t make it less terrible. The pain felt like period cramps, but worse, and consistent. She was also pretty sure he’d torn something again. She desperately hoped he wouldn’t want to go for a round two tonight. “What did you say to Munson after I left?” Billy asked. Max closed her eyes, the reminder making her feel even more ill. “Nothing,” she said.Billy glanced at her doubtfully. “Nothing?”“I mean I didn’t tell him the truth.”“What did you tell him?”Max clenched her jaw, holding back the tears that threatened to spill over. “He was concerned. He thought you hit me or something. I said you just yelled at me and I got upset.” “He bought it?”“I don’t know,” Max admitted, “maybe…he still seemed suspicious.”Billy exhaled angrily. “Whose fault is that?” The gathered tears tumbled down her cheeks as a flash of rage shot through her. “Yours, you piece of shit!”Billy shot her a dangerous look. “Careful, Max—unless you want me to give you something worth crying about.” “You raped me in a public bathroom! It was a stupid fucking move, and you know it!” “Rape?” Billy laughed, “It’s not rape if you love it, Max.” “I do not!”“Oh, you don’t? Is that why you come every time, multiple times?”Max felt her cheeks heat up. “I don’t—that’s not—““You know that doesn’t happen automatically, right? Some girls have a hard time coming even when they want it bad.”Max clenched her fists atop her thighs. That was a suspicion she'd had for a while. Sex education in Hawkins, Indiana was a joke, so the only things she’d ever heard about the female orgasm were jokes from pop culture about how hard it was hard to achieve. But she had to fight against it with Billy, and lost every time. If that was normal, wouldn’t someone have told her that it was possible for your body to enjoy it even when you didn’t?No, it wasn’t normal. Something had to be wrong with her.“Look at you,” Billy chuckled, “you’re blushing because you know it’s true. Face it, your body wants what it wants even if your brain hasn’t gotten there yet. I thought you accepted that.”“I didn’t accept it,” she spat, “I gave up, because I didn’t have a choice.” “You do have a choice,” he said as he pulled into the driveway, “and you chose wrong, tonight.”Billy’s tone sent a chill down Max’s spine. As he put the car in park, she realized Neil’s car was gone. She thought it was strange, then a realization hit her like a train: a few days ago, her mother told her that she and Neil were going to Indianapolis. They were still deciding if they would leave Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning. It looked like they had chosen the former.Max felt her bones turn cold. She had totally forgotten about this trip. They probably mentioned it at breakfast today but Max didn’t eat with them much anymore. Billy’s regular nighttime visits had robbed her of her appetite in the mornings.“Guess they left already,” Billy smirked, “Just you and me, Max.” Max felt panic grip her chest again. But it wasn’t the ‘your life is over’ panic from earlier, it was a ‘get the hell out of here, now’ panic. It was primal; some ancient survival instinct was alerting her to a nearby predator. She grabbed her skateboard, opened the car door and sprinted across the lawn. “Where the hell are you going? Max!” Billy barked after her. She didn’t look back, but she knew he wouldn’t wait around for an answer. His footsteps sped up and became louder behind her, and she hurled one foot in front of the other as fast as she could. Max had had a head start since Billy was on the other side of the car, and she sprinted through the grass towards the pavement. All she had to do was get there and she could put her board down and—But Billy caught up with her, grabbed her hard by the arms and pulled close, quickly clamping one arm around her front to hold her in place, and covering her mouth with his other hand to stifle her scream. She kicked her legs and glanced around at the houses on the street. Not a single one of these nosy neighbors was out here when she needed them? Not one?! Billy had the same idea, and looked up and around to make sure no eyes were on them. “Alright,” Billy hissed into her ear, “you know you fucked up. I’m gonna let you go, and you’re gonna get up and go into the house without making a fucking sound. Right?”Max sobbed into his hand. She was such an idiot. Why would she run? Was her memory that short? If she hadn’t been in for it before, she was now.  “Right?” Billy repeated.She nodded. He let her go, and Max took another look around the neighborhood as she walked towards the house: not a witness in sight.Of course not. She wasn’t that lucky. No one would save her tonight.Billy picked up Max’s skateboard and followed her into the house, furious. His suspicion was right; he was losing control. A few weeks ago, Max wouldn’t have dreamt of running away like that. He had to remind her why she was afraid of him.He slammed the front door, strode towards Max and swung the skateboard at her, striking her on her flank as she turned away defensively. The blow knocked a pained grunt out of her as she fell to her knees and tried to shrink into the back of the couch, covering her head. Billy swung again and hit her in the ribs with the board’s flat deck.“Stop!” Max screamed into the back of the couch.Billy ignored her, flipped the board around and hit her a couple more times. One of the wheels connected with her thigh, making her shout through gritted teeth, and when she curled up into the fetal position, he reared back and hit her ass cheek with the edge of the board, eliciting a pained howl.He was angry, but calculated in his frustration; he hit her in ways and places that would draw out the darkest bruises.“At least you won’t be lying when you blame these on skateboarding,” he sighed, and tossed the board aside, satisfied with his work.Max flinched as the board clattered to the floor, then sighed in relief and wept into the carpet. Billy knew full well Max wouldn’t be explaining the bruises to anyone. She wouldn’t let Harrington undress her anytime soon with these plus the other marks he planned to lay on her tonight. That was part of the plan.“Remember what happened last time you ran away?” Billy asked. Max let out a terrified whimper that confirmed she did. “Oh God, please, Billy. Please don’t do that again. I’m begging you.” “Should’ve thought of that before you took off. What was the plan there, Max?” “I’m sorry!” she wailed, “I—I don’t know what I was thinking…but please—I couldn’t walk after last time. I can’t miss school tomorrow.” Billy sighed. She was right, she couldn’t miss school…it would give Munson and Harrington reason to start poking around. He guessed a rough fuck would be decent enough punishment along with the skateboard beating. Or…he could try something new. She would probably agree to anything if it meant avoiding anal. “Alright,” he said, “how about this: you put on a convincing show for me, and I won’t put it in your ass.” Max frowned at him. “Show?”Billy stepped closer to her and held out his hand. She took it and stood up, watching him apprehensively. Billy smirked. “It won’t have to be a show if you’re honest with yourself. But here’s what I mean: you can’t just lay there and take it tonight. You have to give into it…beg for it. Convince me you love it, and not only will I make you come so hard you’ll forget your boyfriend’s name, I’ll leave your asshole alone.”Fearful doubt was written all over Max’s face. Fair. It was kind of an unbelievably generous offer. But lucky for her, tonight he was more concerned with getting what he wanted than punishing her.“You swear?” she asked.“I swear. But you have to be convincing. No crying, no screaming, no fighting.” Max searched his face, looking for a lie, but didn’t find it. She looked at the floor, considered for a moment and Billy could almost see her swallow her pride as she took a shaky deep breath and nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly, “can I take something for the pain, first?”Billy shrugged. “Fine. I’ll be in your room.” As Max walked to the kitchen slowly and carefully to avoid causing herself any more pain, she wondered what tonight would be like for a normal teenager whose boyfriend just told her he loved her. Maybe she would excitedly bounce around her room listening to Wham!, scribble furiously in her diary, and get butterflies as she recounted the tale to Rita over the phone. Instead, she had been raped in a public bathroom, driven to a suicidal episode, bludgeoned with her own skateboard, and now she had to work around the pain from those incidents to perform for him.It didn’t do any good to try to localize the pain anymore; everything hurt, but Max didn’t have any choice but to power through it. She pulled out the bottle of Advil, but her hand was shaking so badly that she dropped the first couple of pills. She swallowed four of them and tried to steady herself. She was going to need more than Advil to keep it together.Max crept over to Susan and Neil’s room, hoping to swipe something from her mother’s arsenal of pills to help her get through the next few hours. She was almost positive Susan would have generic Xanax somewhere.She flipped the light on in the master bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. The sleeping pills she’d been giving Max were there, some aspirin, a bottle of antibiotics with Neil’s name on the prescription, and—bingo—a bottle of diazepam, which Max knew from previous cabinet raids was Valium.But her hopes were dashed as soon as she picked up the bottle. It was empty. Why the hell wouldn’t she just throw it away?! Max continued her search. When she opened the vanity drawer and saw a white pill bottle sticking out of a pharmacy bag, she picked it up and heard the rattle of quiet a few pills. The label read ‘flunitrazepam.’” Max didn’t recognize the name, but last year in chemistry she learned drug names had suffixes to indicate how they work. She had been shocked to learn that cocaine was technically a topical anesthetic, like lidocaine. ‘Flunitrazepam’…since Valium was ‘diazepam’ they must be similar, right? It had to be a muscle relaxer or something like it. The other day, her mom had mentioned the sleeping pills weren’t doing much for her anymore. Maybe these were stronger ones?It was risky taking something that she wasn’t familiar with, but these were desperate times. She took one pill, swallowed it with some water from the sink and steeled herself for the performance of a lifetime. Deep breaths, in and out. Keep going. She could do this. Couples role-played sometimes, right? This was like that; Max was acting, playing the role of someone lusting after Billy. She just had to partition her mind again, and force out thoughts of all the horrible things he had done to her. She had to remember she was doing this to avoid something worse, but she couldn’t let her fear ruin the illusion. It was delicate mentally, but physically, Billy was right…her body responded to him. When Max had been able to redirect her thoughts from the shame and indignity and just focus on the physical sensations, that’s when their sex had been the least painful. She had let go before, given up resisting, but what if…what if she actively tried to enjoy it?One side of her scolded her for the idea. It was infidelity. Of course, all of this technically had been…but at least none of it had been her choice. If she chose to enjoy it, she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself. But the other side was loudly begging her to abandon her honor and dignity tonight. She had to face it: she was no actress, so the only way he’d believe this performance was if it wasn’t a performance. If that meant he’d spare her of the horrifically painful alternative, the end would justify the means. She had never known pain like that, and didn’t want to ever again. It wasn’t infidelity. It was survival. Billy took his shirt off and sat on Max’s unmade bed. There were dark red, brownish stains in several spots toward the middle. He idly wondered how many of her sheets they’d ruined. Luckily, Susan just naturally assumed the stains were from Max’s period and didn’t make a fuss about buying new ones. Max had been in the kitchen for a while. What was taking so long? The thought suddenly occurred to Billy that she might have fled again, and he got up and strode toward the door just as she walked through it. She flinched when they nearly collided, but there was a steely resolve to her face as she looked up at him, then down at his chest.  Billy watched, curious, as she stepped toward him with her eyes downcast. When she got to him, she spread her palms on either side of his bellybutton and slowly ran them up along his defined abs. He put his hands on her hips as she stepped closer, so he could feel her warm breath on his chest. Her hands traveled up, and up, until they slid over his shoulders and around to lightly rake her nails up the back of his neck into his hair. Max looked up at him with something unmistakable in her face that Billy had never seen on her before: bedroom eyes. She wanted him. He knew it was for real, because he saw resentment in there, too. She was letting herself feel the lust she’d been suppressing, and she hated him for it. He could live with that. It was passion he was after, and as long as the desire was there, hate could be just as passionate as love.She lifted her chin and parted her lips in invitation. Billy closed the distance and connected their tongues in a mutually feverish, messy abandon. Max took her hands away from his head to tear her sweater up over her head and Billy unbuttoned her denim skirt as she unhooked her bra and tossed it aside. Max unfastened Billy’s jeans, and he growled in approval when he felt her hand slide in over his boxer briefs and gently move it back and forth underneath his balls.After seeing that look in Max’s eyes, Billy was getting harder by the second. All he could think about was the sounds she made when she came, and how much louder he might be able to make them. She was so sensitive he could probably break a record tonight. Billy pulled Max’s hand out of his pants and picked her up. She hooked her legs over his hips and kissed him for the few seconds it took to get her to the bed. He let her down and she scooted backward, spreading her legs and slipping a hand into her underwear. Billy grinned and exhaled lustfully.“I know you like watching,” she said, gripping her breast with her free hand. “I do,” Billy smirked, squeezing her thighs and leaving fleeting pale prints in the flushed skin. “Come closer. Tell me.” Billy got behind Max and pulled her between his legs. He pressed his bulge against her ass and bit her ear.“You’re only allowed to do it once,” he said, “then it’s my turn.” “Mhm,” she said, “keep going.” “I’m gonna make you come so many times tonight,” he purred, teasing her nipple with one hand and grasping her hip with the other.Max sighed in pleasure and the breaths that followed were thick and heavy. Billy brushed her hair aside and exhaled against her exposed neck before he sucked the skin into his mouth. He felt her pulse quicken against his lips. “I want to hear it, Max,” he said in a low, husky voice against her neck, “I’d better fucking hear it.”Her breath hitched abruptly and Billy felt her hips stutter before she moaned quietly and breathed ragged breaths for a few seconds.“You’re gonna have to do better than that when I do it,” Billy chuckled against her chin.“Make me.”Was that a smile? Holy shit.  He pulled her hand out of her underwear and replaced it with his own, pressing his fingers against either side of her swollen clit. Max’s sharp intake of breath hinted that she wasn’t far away from a higher peak; the last had just been a plateau on the way. Billy slid his fingers down and worked his middle and ring finger inside her, firmly kneading her clit with his palm. Her head fell back against his shoulder as her breaths ramped up again. Max started to push her pelvis into his palm and he heard her swear quietly. His fingers were snug inside her slick passage as he curled them to massage her front wall and groped her breast with his other hand. He gradually increased the movement of his palm and he knew she was climbing again from the way her walls spasmed around his fingers. He sped up and up, and when he bit her ear she grabbed his thigh and her legs began to shake. He maintained the vigorous speed, vibrating his palm against her and holding her in place with some difficulty as her hips tried to buck and her back arched away from him. “Oh God,” she huffed, “shit!” Her cunt constricted his fingers as a few waves of shivers ran through her, steadily decreasing in magnitude. She shuddered for some time before she melted back against him and caught her breath. “Fuck,” she sighed.“That’s more like it,” Billy smiled against her ear. Max turned her face towards his and turned her body around with it to kneel between his legs and place her soft hands on either side of his face. She ran her thumb along his cheekbones and kissed him passionately as he squeezed her ass cheeks. Max stopped kissing Billy abruptly and hovered her lips close to his. He tried to connect them again but she pushed gently against his chest and pulled back slightly, a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. Her hands on his chest moved down until they reached his underwear, and pulled it down enough to release his cock. She slipped her hand back into her own underwear, all the while keeping their eyes locked together and their open mouths against each other’s. When she grasped his cock again with her slick hand and started moving it, Billy felt something like static shoot up through his body. Why in the fuck hadn’t he thought of this before? They could have been together like this for over a month. She must have really, really hated anal to commit this hard. He did remember a lot of blood in the bathtub that night.Billy exhaled hard into her mouth. He’d slept with girls much hotter and more experienced than Max, but somehow, he didn’t think he’d ever been this turned on in his life. This couldn’t be just a performance—he’d smell it on her. There was a part of her that wanted this just as badly as he did, and seeing it in her eyes lit a hungry, needful fire within him. He felt drunk off the sound, smell and proximity of her breaths. “Fuck me, Billy,” she breathed. That was all he needed to hear. He was too impatient to get her underwear off. He just tugged the soaked fabric to the side and laid back as she leaned over him to straddle his hips. He held her ass cheek in one hand and his cock with the other, rubbing it through her wetness and teasing her before pushing slowly inside her. As usual, her entrance barely allowed it and she inhaled sharply. But she powered through it, and pushed herself down further and further on his shaft even as she gritted her teeth. She sat up straighter and rode him, and Billy gripped her ass cheeks hard and bit his lip watching her breasts bounce as she did with her long hair spilling over her face and shoulders. He grabbed her hips and started thrusting up into her, knocking out a yelp as she gripped his shoulders tighter. “Shit, you’re so deep,” she groaned, trying to mask her pain with pleasure. He let up a little, letting her get used to him again. Billy brushed his thumb against Max’s clit and she flinched like he touched her with a live wire. He capitalized on it and let her start riding him on her own again as he rubbed the swollen bud furiously. She shuddered a little as she took him in slowly and deeply, for just a few strokes until he felt her walls start to tense and relax in erratic bursts. She sunk as far down as she could onto him and hit her peak hard, clenching around him and swearing loudly as she gripped his chest and screwed her eyes shut. Her hips trembled and pulsed, and Billy gripped her hips hard trying to resist the urge to come.“Fuck, Max,” he grunted, “almost got me, there.”Max’s face was flushed pink as she leant over him, slowly moving her hips. “Tell me how it feels,” she whispered.“So fucking tight. Every time.” “Am I? Or are you just massive?”“Both,” he sat up and pulled her face to his, inhaling as he kissed her, “but you love it when I stretch you out and get this deep,” he punctuated ‘deep’ with a small thrust, making her gasp. “Admit it.”“I do,” she sighed with a trace of shame in her tone that Billy mistook for ecstasy.‘Admit it,’ was a threat whispered into her lips. Max knew that. But she had responded with the unfortunate and baffling truth.She hated him…God she hated him, and she knew she’d hate herself later, but she wanted him. Her mind was screaming why? and how?, but she ignored those questions and focused on the physical sensations to get her through this. It was worryingly easy to do that, as her senses were quickly becoming overwhelmed. Max felt like an exposed nerve. If he even looked at her funny, she might come again. Also, if she didn’t know any better, she would say the way he held her head and caressed her back was almost tender. It was all horribly confusing in the larger scheme of things, but there was no room in her head for the big picture right now.In the haze of pent up lust, she had almost forgotten about what happened earlier, but the sting of the fresh tear somewhere inside her was a harsh reminder.Forget it. She couldn’t think about it. She’d been fucked through worse. They kissed for a little while as Max softly gyrated atop him, then Billy lifted her hips up to pull out of her, and pushed her so she was on her back. He tugged her stretched out underwear off her legs, pulled his own off, and got on top of her.He rubbed his cock against her entrance and chuckled. “Shit, you’re soaking wet. But you know what…I want to hear it again.”He kissed her collarbone and traced his lips down to her breasts where he paused to suck one nipple, then the other, leaving red marks and love bites in his wake before he moved downwards and his mouth disappeared between her legs. She felt the warm, firm pressure of his tongue and closed her eyes, already feeling goosebumps break out on her neck.Billy lightly bit her clit and Max’s voice jumped out involuntarily. God, he was doing it again. She hated how well he knew how to play her. He was just showing off, now. But she wasn’t complaining. If she had to endure a night of ‘making love’ to her violent abuser, this was one of the less objectionable parts of it.As she threw her head back she realized, now that she was lying down, that she was a little dizzy. She didn’t know if it was because of the pill she took, the dinner she skipped or the last three orgasms. Could be all of the above.She closed her eyes and felt him slip three fingers inside her as his tongue continued pushing her up the hill. She felt like she hadn’t come down from the previous climaxes yet, so it couldn’t have been more than thirty seconds before she felt the electric heat winding up inside her once again. The tension pulled tighter and tighter, and finally snapped, resulting in a landslide of huffs, swears and oaths, with Billy’s name mixed in there somewhere.Max felt dazed as she breathed sense back into herself. Billy crawled back up to hover his face over hers and kissed her hard, making her taste everything that he brought out of her. His face was shiny with it. She hooked her leg over his hip and grabbed his cock, greedily guiding it into herself and groaning in satisfaction as Billy pushed into her until he was fully inside. “Oh, God, you’re so deep,” she exhaled, the reprise uttered in ecstasy rather than pain. It was one of those lucky nights when it didn’t hurt when he was fully inside her. In fact, the feeling of being so full began to feel incredible. Billy rolled them both over onto their sides and bit Max’s lip as he slowly drew in and out of her. She was still in pain, so much pain but she trembled with ecstasy, too. The sensual barrage was making her dizzy, and his languid pace was drawing it out, intensifying it.“Your cunt is mine, Max.”Max nodded hazily, drunk on sensation and still trying to catch her breath.“Say it,” he ordered.“It’s yours,” she said.Max gasped as he sunk into her quickly, and held her hip for leverage to start fucking her hard and fast. His other arm was woven under her arm and around her back to hold her face to his with a handful of her hair as he lapped wildly at the roof of her mouth. She let out a sustained moan against his lips as he pistoned into her with wet sounds of impact in-between. As his hips hit a fever pitch, the breaths he blew into her mouth became gruffer and heavier. “One more time, Max,” he said, sheathing himself fully into her and rolling his hips so he ground his pubic bone against her clit. It was happening again. Holy shit.Max yanked the sheet with one hand and dug her nails into his back with the other as she clenched around him. She shut her eyes as they rolled back and she came hard once more with a loud, sustained whimper through her clenched teeth. Billy spilled inside her with a bestial cry, and they panted together as his abs spasmed against Max’s own twitchy muscles.After some time, he pulled out of her and laid back.“Holy shit,” he chuckled, “how many times was that? Five?”“I don’t know,” she admitted, shifting to lie on her back and stare up at the ceiling blankly. Her thoughts, feelings and instincts were a disorganized, opaque mess, and she knew she was inviting trouble if she tried to investigate them right now.But the mental mess grew farther and farther away as she fought to stay conscious. It felt like her eyelids were being dragged shut by an anchor, and she quickly slipped down, down into the deep black sleep below.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Max was exhausted. She had been throwing up since she woke up at around 4AM, and felt fuzzy and hungover. That whatever-azepam was definitely much stronger than the old sleeping pills…she had to be careful with those.Honestly, between the drug, the horrible cervical ache from Billy’s assault in the bathroom, and the memory of what she’d done with him last night, she didn’t know which was making her nauseous.It wasn’t just what she’d done, it was how she’d done it. She was having a hard time leaving this one behind the Wall. Billy made her a willing participant in her own rape. He made her enjoy it. And it wouldn’t stop at last night; she would be an idiot to return to the alternative methods that left her bruised and scarred, though she loathed giving him the satisfaction.She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and put a hand on her stomach. It was going to be a busy few days with her own exams and helping Steve study for his. She had to get it together.“Morning, gorgeous,” she heard Steve’s voice from behind her just before he touched her back, which made her flinch.“Woah,” he said, “jumpy?”Max shook her head. “Yeah, sorry. I—I don’t know, I’m really out of it today.” She rose up on her toes to give him a quick kiss, then turned back to her locker quickly.God, she could barely look him in the eye. How could she? She’d just kissed him with the same mouth that screamed Billy’s name 12 hours ago.Steve frowned at her. “Are you alright?”Why did that question always make her so much more emotional than she thought she was? She felt the tingle of incoming tears start at her nose and spread up into her eyes, despite her trying to will it away.“Yeah,” she said, pretending she was looking for something in her locker as two treacherous tears rolled down her cheeks.“Hey,” Steve said gently, which made her even more upset, “what’s wrong?”Max covered her face and shook her head, and Steve pulled her into a hug to let her cry against his chest. Her neck and chest hurt with the force it took to choke the loud sobs that wanted to escape her throat.He shouldn’t hug her. He should kick her to the curb. She belonged there with the rest of the trash. Steve Harrington didn’t deserve to have this deceptive, depraved screw up sneaking around behind his back. If she wasn’t so selfish, she would let him go so he could find someone that deserved him.But he was all she had. If she let him go, she’d float away into endless, dark despair, from which there was no coming back.“Talk to me,” Steve whispered into her hair, “what’s making you so upset?”“I’m being stupid,” she sniffled, “ignore me.”“I’m not gonna ignore you, and you’re not stupid.”“I’m just…it’s my time of the month, I’m overly emotional…I’m sorry, it’s—”“Don’t apologize. If you need to cry, cry. I’m not going anywhere.”Max did need to cry, at least for a little. She clutched his shirt and sobbed quietly as Steve held her close, making the bruises on her back groan in protest.She finally took a few deep breaths and pulled her face away from his chest. There were two dark spots where her eyes had been on his green shirt.“Sorry,” she murmured, fruitlessly trying to wipe them away.“It’s fine, I won’t melt,” he said, rubbing her shoulders and examining her face, “But I feel like something else has to be going on. Is it your parents, or something?”“No, I told you, I’m just hormonal and tired and I feel like shit…I think I ate something bad last night, too.”Steve frowned. “Did you eat breakfast?”“I tried. Didn’t stay down for long.”“Why not head home?”“I can’t. English exam’s on Friday and Chapman’s doing a recap today. I’ll be fine.”Steve sighed and eyed Max with concern as she wiped her eyes and took deep breaths.“You sure you don’t need to talk or anything?”Max nodded. “I’m sure. I’m okay, really. But speaking of exams, have you started studying for Lawler’s?”Steve grimaced.Max sighed in frustration. “God, Steve…can you skip practice today?”“Not a chance. The away game at Christian is tomorrow, remember?”“Oh, shit…” She usually went to Steve’s games but Christian Academy was far away, and the team had a bus to take them. Maybe Rita could give her a ride, but Max really didn’t feel up to it.“Don’t worry about going,” Steve waved it away, “it’s too far, and you need to get some rest. We play them again in January, anyway.”“Okay. But—” Max hesitated. She wanted to go over to his house to help him study, or have him come over hers after practice, but Billy probably wouldn’t allow either. There was a small, small chance that he’d give her a pass for her performance last night. He also knew she couldn’t let Steve see much of her body, anyway.“But what?”“I was going to say you should come over to study tonight. But, I don’t know, Billy gets on power trips when our parents are gone. Let me ask him.”Steve nodded behind her. “He’s right over there. Should I ask?”Max looked over, and saw Steve was right. Billy was across the hall, chatting with his fellow handsome degenerate friend Vaughn.“Oh,” she said flatly, “okay.” Any other answer would be suspicious.“Hargrove,” Steve called, “got a sec?”Billy’s dark eyebrows furrowed slightly as he looked over at them. He glanced at Max, said something under his breath that made Vaughn snicker, then strolled over to Max and Steve.Billy gestured to Max. “She giving you trouble?”Steve snuffed. “Just wanted to see if it was cool if I came over after practice,” Steve said, “I kinda desperately need Max’s help studying for Lawler’s.”Max watched Billy’s face apprehensively. His smug smirk stayed in place as he looked between her and Steve.“Sure you do.”Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t need to stay over, if—““I’m fucking with you, Harrington,” Billy chuckled, “Stay over if you want, I don’t give a shit.”“Oh,” Steve said, surprised, “cool. Thanks.”“And Max,” Billy pulled out a lighter from his pocket. “I found this on the car floor, know whose it is?”It was one of his lighters. Why was he pretending like he didn’t recognize it?“What? It’s—“ Max froze, spotting the mischief in his eye and realizing what his game was. If there had been anything in her stomach, it would’ve risen to her throat.“It’s yours,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. It was what he had made her say last night when he was inside her. She kept a poker face but hoped he felt the hatred she was radiating.Billy pocketed the lighter and smirked. “Is it? Huh...must be an old one.”He walked away, leaving Max glaring in his wake with hot, secret shame ballooning in her chest.Steve turned back to Max, smiling. “See? All good. And now we get a night together.”He tucked Max’s hair behind her ear and she smiled back at him. But she was anything but relieved. Billy knew exactly what he was doing. He was taunting Max, putting her in a situation where he knew she’d have to turn Steve down when he wanted to have sex. That’s what that little stunt had been; he wanted to remind her that his control over her was present even when he wasn’t.Practice was over, and most of the guys had already gone, including Harrington, who sped through his shower to drive Max home and start ‘studying.’ Billy knew what was actually on his mind, but he also knew he was in for a rejection since Max wouldn’t let him see her naked.Billy stayed to shoot baskets with the last few guys there, then took his time in the shower. He had to be the last one out to execute the main part of his plan to drive a wedge between Harrington and Max.Once he toweled off and was sure everyone was gone, he went into his bag and took out one of his naked polaroids of Max. It wasn’t one of his favorites; hot, but not pornographic, like some of his collection. All it showed was Max laying on her back from the ribs up. Her tits were out, but one was partially covered by her disheveled hair. Her hair was covering some of her face, too, which was turned to the right with a blank expression, but you could definitely tell who it was.He placed the photo on the floor, slightly wedged under the lockers a good distance away from his. If everything went perfectly, one of the guys in P.E. would find it tomorrow morning, assume it was Harrington’s, and give it to him. There was a chance the photo would make it through a few guys before it made it to Harrington, but he was sure one of those loudmouths would show or tell him eventually, leading him to wonder who could have taken the photo.Most importantly, it would be tough to trace the photo back to Billy. If someone found it right away tomorrow morning, there were 11 other guys on the basketball team—anyone could have dropped it. And if someone didn’t find it until after P.E., there were even more possible suspects. Harrington just happened to be in both groups, so someone had to assume it was his.He could just drop the polaroid in Harrington’s locker, but having another guy tell him about it added a level of embarrassment that might be the extra push he needed to break up with Max.Max would hate him when she found out what he did. But she already hated him, so what would it change, really? And, as he learned last night, hate yields results. The deal he made with Max last night had been his most inspired idea; he was pretty sure it was the best sex he’d ever had, and it had changed everything. Suddenly, he didn’t give a shit about the risks anymore. He didn’t care that Harrington was a convenient cover for him—he wanted him gone. Last night it felt like Max had finally, actually become his, and he was done sharing.Steve and Max picked up a pizza and studied for three straight hours when they got back to her house. Max had been right: that test would have crushed him if she hadn’t helped, and he really needed to pass that class.Steve had never stayed over at Max’s before. He’d been there, but never for more than an hour or so. The Mayfield-Hargrove house seemed to radiate an aura of volatility that stressed him out a little.Maybe it was what he knew of Billy’s dad’s anger problem, and Max’s mom’s substance issues. Could also be the general air of macho aggression Billy stirred up wherever he went. Whatever it was, being around it made him understand Max’s prickly demeanor and frequent anxieties at a much deeper level.Max and Steve only saw Billy briefly in the kitchen when he got home around 10:45 with clear smudges of lipstick on his neck, and grabbed a slice of pizza before disappearing to his room.When they finally retired to Max’s room, Steve noticed that Max didn’t change into her pajamas in front of him like she usually did. She went to the bathroom and came back in a flannel and sweatpants. He tried not to read much into it. She had said she was on her period but he hoped she knew that didn’t put him off. But maybe she was too uncomfortable to have sex…he knew it was selfish but he really, really wanted to be with her tonight. She felt off and distant today, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of him. Some intimacy would relieve a lot of his fears.Steve stripped down to his boxers and reclined under the covers as Max turned off the lights and switched on her dim table lamp. She slipped under the comforter beside him and Steve pulled her close and hooked her leg over his, stroking her knee with his thumb.Max’s eyes were tired, and maybe it was the light but she looked pale, too.“Are you sure you’re okay?” Steve asked.Max nestled close to him and placed a hand on his cheek. “Better, now.”Steve slid his hands into her sweatpants and grasped her ass, pulling her hips to his. He kissed her gently, then started to lap her tongue with his.He slid his hand from her ass cheek up under her flannel and squeezed her breast. She moaned softly, but she still felt tense and distant. Steve started unbuttoning her shirt but after the second button she put her hands on his to stop him.“Steve, I want to, but—““Then let’s,” he pushed part of her flannel over her shoulder, “don’t get in your head about it.”Max pulled the flannel back up. “I’m on my period. Doesn’t that gross you out?”“No, because I’m not twelve.”Max sighed. “I’m sorry, I just don’t feel sexy right now. I can’t.”“Max, you’re never not sexy,” he said, pulling her underneath him and spreading her legs, “Come on.” Steve knew it was wrong to push her after she’d already said no. But his blood was so hot for her that his cooler impulses seemed distant.He kissed her neck and undid more of her flannel buttons from the bottom. Later, when he looked back on these few moments, he wouldn’t know what came over him; he felt her struggling but he ignored her, hoping that she would change her mind.But when Steve lifted his face to look at her, the look on her face immediately knocked him out of his lustful trance. Her eyes were wide and shiny with tears. She was afraid.Max took in a shaky breath. “Steve, please don’t,” she said, her quiet voice breaking towards the end.“Shit,” he said, rolling off her and back onto his side, “I’m sorry—I’m an idiot. I know you’re not feeling well… I’m sorry if you thought—I would never, you know, force you.”Max nodded, and wiped a tear away quickly. “I know. I know that.”“I’m sorry I pressured you. That was shitty.”Steve ran a hand through his hair. He’d never seen fear in her eyes before, and felt incredibly ashamed that he had been the one to bring it out.When he looked back at Max, she was looking at him thoughtfully, with a trace of what Steve thought might be surprise.“Thanks,” she said, “It’s okay. I’m sorry I’m not up to it—““Don’t worry about it, honestly—““But there are ways around these things, you know.”Steve raised an eyebrow, and smiled when he saw a small smirk tug at her lips. “Oh?”Max pulled him closer and drew a deep kiss. Her hand slid down his chest to his boxers, and started to gently fondle his already semi-erect cock through the fabric.Max’s heart still beat loud and fast as she kissed and stroked him. She had been faced with two intense fears in just a few seconds: first, that Steve had unbuttoned too much of her flannel and was about to see the bite marks on her breasts, and second, that he was no different than Billy, and would take what he wanted from her without her consent.But he had stopped, and apologized—something Billy wouldn’t ever do. He looked genuinely ashamed of himself. And no real harm done, since he hadn’t seen anything. She was so overcome with relief that he was who she thought he was, and she wanted to make him happy.Max exhaled deeply into his mouth as she slid her hand back and forth firmly along his bulge.“You make me so wet, Steve,” she sighed, “next time, I want you to fuck me so hard I forget I’ve ever met anyone but you.”Steve chuckled into her lips. “Yes, ma’am.”“But right now, I want to suck your cock until you see stars,” she said, and felt the aforementioned organ twitch under her hand.Steve sighed lustily. “God damnit, Max. I don’t know how I landed you.”“I do,” she said, and kissed him hard, pushing him to lay on his back. She straddled him, and her lips moved from his mouth down to his chin, neck, and down along his chest. She traced her tongue along the ridges of his abs and pulled his boxers down to release his cock.She looked up at him as she ran her tongue up along his shaft, and he swore, clenching his jaw as she sucked the head of his cock into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around the tip until she tasted precum.As she pumped his length and took as much of him into her mouth as she could without gagging, she felt shame creep up her back again as she thought about the first time she had to do this. She’d learned the ropes under duress, in a desperate attempt to keep Billy from fucking her that first night.All of her firsts had been with Billy. It didn’t matter how many times she slept with Steve—Billy would always have that place in her memory. She’d never be rid of him.Max forced Steve’s cock into the back of her throat a few times so she’d have an excuse for the gathering tears. She did it almost automatically; her default reaction to emotions now was to cover them up. Lying had become so natural to her. She cycled through a mask a minute.She heard Steve’s breathing get heavier and more uneven, and she wondered how long she’d been at this. She’d been in autopilot during her reverie; she didn’t even remember putting his balls in her mouth, but here they were.Her chin was covered in saliva as she worked her way back up to the tip, sucking it with relish and feeling her abdomen tingle at the husky sounds he was making.“Max, I’m gonna come.”She moaned in affirmation and kept at it. Suddenly he tensed up and groaned.“Oh, fuck—” he said, and Max felt his warm cum hit the back of her throat in bursts. She kept at it, swallowing everything as it came until he went limp.“Holy hell,” he sighed heavily, “get up here.”She wiped the spit and snot from her face with her sleeve and crawled up to him. He held her close and kissed her passionately. She pushed his hair out of his face and found he was a little sweaty.“I’m glad I already told you I love you,” he said, “‘cause anyone might fall in love after that.”“You’re ridiculous,” Max chuckled. “But I love you too.”“I mean, holy shit. You don’t even have to take your clothes off to turn me on to like, a dangerous level. It’s actually insane.”“Thanks, I think.”“You sure I can’t return the favor? Going down on you has become my favorite pastime.”Max laughed. “It wasn’t a favor. If you’re satisfied, I am.”“That’s an understatement,” Steve shook his head. “You’re too good to be true, I’m serious.”Max kissed him. “Goodnight. Love you.”Steve smiled. “Night, love you, too.”Max turned around and let him spoon her. Her mind was racing, and she didn’t think she’d be able to sleep very well. But with Steve lying between her and the door, she felt safe in her bed for the first time in a long time, and she quickly drifted off to sleep.

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Billy took his time getting to school, and sauntered into the locker room around 10 minutes late, when everyone was already changed and some had gone out to the weight room already. He glanced at the spot where he had placed Max’s photo, and found it bare—someone had picked it up. The plan was in motion, and out of his control for now, which he hated. He wanted to know who had taken it.It was weight day in P.E., usually his favorite, but he had priorities bigger than showing off this morning. He glanced at Harrington across the weight room, but he didn’t look any different than usual. He seemed in a good mood—joking with Isaac as they did leg lifts next to each other. He definitely hadn’t seen the photo yet. Whoever found it would probably be acting strangely around both him and Harrington, so Billy paid close attention to everyone all period. But, frustratingly, so far all the guys were acting pretty normal.Billy was in the middle of spotting Vaughn at the bench press when Coach Barker’s shrill whistle rang out twice from the doorway of the weight room. “Alright, that’s it for today, fellas,” she said, “Hit the showers,”“Thank God it’s Friday, man,” Keith said as the guys walked from the weight room to the locker room. “It’s Thursday, dipshit,” Billy said. “Ugh, damn…you’re right.” Keith groaned. “Big game tonight.” Tommy said. “Yeah,” Billy shrugged, “I’m not worried.”“It’s away at Christian, right?”“Yup.”“I’d go, but that drive is brutal. Harrington’s girl is probably gonna be the only one in the away stands.”“She’s not going either,” Steve said, “But it doesn’t matter, we play them again at home in January.” Billy caught Keith and Tommy exchange a glance. It was quick, almost accidental, but it happened so close to Max being mentioned that he locked in on it. And why would Tommy bring her up in the first place? Did one of them find the photo?He kept a cautious eye on them after they all got out of the showers, but they didn’t do anything else suspicious. They probably just thought it was weird that Max wasn’t going to support her boyfriend.Oh, well. There wasn’t much he could do if he suspected them, anyway…and he couldn’t rule out the rest either. He’d guessed he’d have to be patient and see how the next day or so unfolded.Max reclined on the couch, balancing her history textbook on the hot water bottle she was holding to her pelvis. She’d had horrible cramps on and off today and was bleeding a little. She couldn’t tell if it was a leftover effect from Billy’s assault the night before last, or if she was getting her period. The doctor told her she probably wouldn’t have one anymore, but that must be what it was, because when Billy bruised her cervix the pain got better as time went on, not worse.Still, she was trying to enjoy the few hours of peaceful solitude she’d have before Billy got back from the game. She had taken a nice, hot bath and was now in her nightgown and robe, nursing her second gin and Sprite as Phil Collins provided the soundtrack to a tedious chapter on the Roman Senate.As Max sipped the last of her cocktail, the doorbell rang, startling her and sending an ice cube down into her robe. She swore and shook the ice out, then got up, annoyed, and walked to the front door.When she opened the door, she was surprised to see two guys she only knew through the girls in her class. The giant blonde football player was Keith, Rebecca’s new boyfriend, and the brown haired one was Carol’s boyfriend, Tommy. Max didn’t think she had ever spoken to either of them, but they had probably crossed paths at some parties. “Hey, Maxine,” Tommy said, “is Billy around?” “No,” she said, pulling her robe to make sure it was fully closed, “there’s a game tonight.”  Tommy sighed in frustration and elbowed Keith. “You said the game was tomorrow, dumbass.” “Shit,” Keith scratched his head, “Well, listen, we bought a keg for this weekend but my parents are breathing down my neck lately so I can’t keep it. Billy offered to stash it here. Can we just leave it in his room, or something?” Billy offered to do something for someone else? That was new. Unless he planned to steal it and use it for his own party or something… “Yeah, okay,” she said, and stepped back to let them inside. “Awesome, thanks,” Keith said.“Where is it?” Tommy asked.“Down the hall, second door on the left,” she said, and watched them pick up the keg together and carry it over to Billy’s room. Max crossed her arms and stood at the end of the hallway, feeling strangely uneasy with both of them in the house. She heard the metallic thump of the keg being placed on the floor and walked back over to sit on the couch, trying to look nonchalant as she fiddled with a knotted headphone cord. “Thanks,” Tommy said as he re-entered the living room and walked to the open front door.“No sweat,” Max answered, not looking up at him. Keith stopped before he got to the door. “Hey, Maxine, can I ask you something?”Max looked at Keith, then over at Tommy, who had turned around to look back at his friend. There was a hint of trepidation in his eyes, and his thumb tapped on the doorknob where his hand was resting. The uneasy feeling rose from her gut to her chest. “What?” “You seen this before?” Keith asked, and pulled out a polaroid from his pocket. Max’s breath died in her throat. She had never actually seen any of the photos Billy took, but she recognized her own hair and pale skin from afar and knew immediately what it was. Her chest felt hollow, and her organs had all seemed to freeze over. She heard the door shut and flinched. Tommy had closed it and was smirking at her. “Familiar, right?” he asked. Her lips and cheeks felt cold as the blood drained from her face. Half of her wanted to scream and try to fight them both, and the other half just wanted to freeze, and stop all functions keeping her alive. No more breaths, no more heartbeat, no more thoughts: just death. The fire and ice collided and spat out a cloudy vapor that fogged her mind. Max’s mouth was open but no sound came out. She had so many questions—questions that she wasn’t sure she wanted the answers to. How did they get that? Had Billy dropped it somewhere by accident? On purpose?! Had they stolen it from him? And now that they had it, what did they want from her?“Give me that,” she ordered, standing up and striding toward them. She reached for the photo and Keith yanked it back out of her reach.“You’re not going to ask nicely, first?” Keith chuckled. Max shivered as she realized how the linebacker towered over her. He could snap her arm like a twig, if he wanted. “Please,” her voice broke, “please give it to me.” “Pretty clumsy, leaving something like this in the locker room…would be a shame if the whole school saw it. Tommy’s cousin works at Kinko’s…could make some pretty interesting posters.” Max looked at him, horrified. He didn’t know her well enough to be joking about this. He was serious—both of them were. “What—why? Why would you do that? What have I ever done to you?”“It’s not what you did, it’s what you could do,” Keith said, stuffing the photo back in his pocket and putting his hand on her waist. She flinched like his hand was made of acid and backed up until she hit the back of the couch. “What do you want?” she asked, trying to stop her lip from quivering. She knew what he wanted, but she hoped against hope that she was wrong. Please let it be money. Please. “Maybe you show us your room, and we have some fun,” Keith said. Max’s stomach dropped. “Y–you can’t be serious,” Max said. “What do you think, Tommy?”Tommy shrugged. “Gotta admit, I’m kind of curious what’s got Harrington so stuck on you.” “Fuck you,” Max spat, feeling hot, helpless tears rising.“That’s what we were thinking,” Keith chuckled. Max felt sick. She grabbed the couch for support and let the tears spill out onto her cheeks. This all felt horrifically familiar. A man standing in her living room, laughing at her terror, unconcerned with anything but how he could use her body…that’s how all of this had started. Billy and these two didn’t give a shit how their actions would affect her. She was nothing but a vessel for their pleasure. Consequences were her problem. She ran through every option in her head, but if these two were as serious about this as Billy was, all roads led to Hell. There had to be another option…something she could say or do to open up some secret third door.But of course there wasn’t. The universe apparently loved the way Max wore its horrors, and would clothe her in them until they killed her. Just when she thought it wasn’t possible to be more degraded than she was, the gods of misery decided to try something new: a blackmail within a blackmail—like a Russian nesting doll of sex crime.“Listen to me,” she said, looking frantically between Tommy and Keith, “Billy is going to kill you if he finds out. I’m not kidding. He’s dangerous.”“Good thing it’s our little secret, then,” Keith said, “If news of this leaves this room, that photo’s gonna be printed and plastered all around school.”“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Max snarled, “You both have girlfriends!” “Come on, it’s no big deal,” Tommy shrugged, “no one’s gonna know but us. We all enjoy ourselves, no one hears about or sees the photo, and you never hear from us again. Everyone wins.”“How do I know you assholes won’t just show Steve anyway?” Keith and Tommy looked at each other, then back at Max with raised eyebrows. “You mean Harrington didn’t take the photo?” Tommy asked.Max’s heart stopped. In her blind panic she’d forgotten they didn’t know the truth. Of course they would have assumed Steve had taken it…She turned to Tommy. “I—that’s not what I meant—I–I meant tell, not show. About this.” But she knew it was useless—the treacherous blood was rising to her cheeks and giving her away as she spoke.Keith had slipped behind Max. He grabbed her arms and pulled her close. “Holy shit, Maxine, you’re a regular nympho, huh?” His hot breath made the hair on the back of Max’s neck stand up. “Get off me!” She shouted, trying to tug her arms out of his grasp, but it was like trying to pull a post out of set concrete. She tried to kick backwards and elbow him but she couldn’t get a good angle.“Stepping out on Harrington?” Tommy chuckled, “Gotta admit, didn’t think you had it in you.”“Bet you’re real popular at the skatepark,” Keith laughed.Furious and increasingly terrified, Max struggled even harder to no avail. She realized how trapped she was and started to hyperventilate.“Hel—“ she tried to scream but Keith clapped a hand over her mouth.“It’s okay,” he said, "you don’t have to pretend like you don’t want it. It’s our secret, remember?”Max jerked her head around until she got her mouth free enough to bite his hand, hard.“Ah—you bitch,” Keith yanked his hand away and brought his fist hard into her stomach. She tried to double over but he held her fast.“I am not cheating on Steve,” she coughed, “and even if I was, I wouldn’t want you, you piece of shit!”“Even if that’s true, not much you can do to fight us off, is there? Might as well enjoy it.” “And to answer your question,” Tommy said, “you’ll just have to trust that we won’t show Harrington. But I guarantee he’ll see the photo if you don’t cooperate. The whole school will. So, you know, it’s up to you.”Once again, she was backed into a corner with only lose/lose scenarios in front of her. Struggling wasn’t getting her anywhere—Keith was twice her size. Her escape efforts became weaker and weaker as all hope vacated her body, leaving behind the abused husk trained by Billy to accept the unacceptable. “What do you say, Maxine? Easy way or the hard way?” As she became resigned to her fate, she started to think through the practical elements. Two of them, together…would they take turns with her? Or make her pleasure them at the same time? Whichever it was, she knew she would be so anxious she’d tense up whether she wanted to or not, which would just make it more painful. If Keith’s cock size was proportionate to his frame, she was in trouble. She wanted to be as far away from her body as possible while this happened.Max sighed. “Let me take something first, to relax.”Keith looked over at Tommy, then let Max go cautiously. She looked miserably at the floor as she rubbed her arms and cried silently.“My room is the door before Billy’s,” she said, not looking at either of them, “I’ll be there in a second.” Tommy scoffed, “Yeah, right. Let you go so you can make a run for it or get a gun or something?”Max closed her eyes in frustration. “Follow me, then,” she said, “I don’t give a shit,” and slowly, hopelessly, made her way down the hall into her parents’ bathroom. With trembling hands, she opened the drawer where the pills she had taken last night were, and tried to shake out two into her hand. Three came out. Fuck it, she’d try three, then. If one made her relaxed and sleepy, then ill in the morning, she didn’t know what three would do—kill her? No, she wasn’t that lucky. Maybe three would put her out quicker, so she wouldn’t be awake for their assault. Tommy was waiting in the doorway, watching her. “What are those?” Max didn’t answer him—she just shot him a poisonous look before she popped the pills into her mouth, then sipped water from the faucet to wash them down. “Let’s get this over with,” she said, and strode past Tommy into her room where Keith sat on the bed. He patted the spot next to him and Max took a step back as her stomach turned over. She bumped into Tommy, who took her by the shoulders, led her forward, and kicked the door shut with his foot. The room was dark except for the lamplight, the same as it had been last night, when she’d slept peacefully in the arms of the man she loved. She just had to remember that she was doing this to hold onto that peace—by any means necessary. Tommy stopped her in front of the bed, untied her robe and pulled it off her shoulders. In yet another stroke of bad luck, all of Max’s usual night shirts were in the wash. She was counting on being alone for a while, so she had thrown on the short black satin nightgown she hid away for nights with Steve, and the robe on top of that. Tommy rubbed her shoulders. “What did I tell you? Hell of a body.” He slid a hand down to pinch her nipple through the fabric and she slapped it away.Keith stood up and pulled the straps of her dress down over her arms so the satin slouched down and settled on her hips, revealing her entire upper body.“Woah,” Tommy said, looking at her back, “what’s all this?” Max frowned at the floor and covered her breasts with her hands. She’d almost forgotten about the bruises. They were the least of her problems, now. “Like it’s any of your business,” she grumbled.Keith peered around to her back and whistled. “Bruises on your back, love bites on the front…what kind of freaky shit are you and Harrington into?”“Or, you know, not Harrington…” Tommy chuckled. “Fuck you,” Max snapped, “I had a couple of bad falls. I’m a skater…it happens.” “Not a very good one, apparently,” Keith chuckled, and squeezed a purple bruise at her waist. Max flinched in pain and elbowed him in the chest reflexively. Keith grunted and grabbed her by the hair. “You can fight all you want—I like my girls fiery. But if I feel any teeth, that photo’s gonna be hanging up with the retired jerseys in the gym. Got it?” Max glared at him hatefully, but he didn’t wait for a response—he just tugged her hair downward, forcing her to her knees.Max trembled as she watched the two men start to undo their jeans. As desensitized as she’d become, she was scared. They were both much larger than her and looking at her like feral dogs at a piece of meat. She would be torn apart, and there was nothing she could do to stop it unless she wanted to lose everything. She closed her eyes, letting a few more tears spill over. This was a level of humiliation she thought few people would ever experience.When she opened her eyes, Keith’s dark blonde pubic hair was the first thing she saw. A pink and worryingly large cock protruded from it; it was just as thick, maybe even slightly thicker than Billy’s. It wasn’t as long, but he was only half erect, and it could get longer. Panicked, she glanced over at Tommy’s, which seemed mercifully average sized, but he was even less erect, so it was hard to tell.Keith grabbed her hair again and guided his cock to her mouth. “Suck it, and jerk him off.”Max took a deep breath and overrode every instinct to fight and run—she just gripped Keith’s cock with her left hand, wrapped her lips around its head, and raised her right hand up to start stroking Tommy’s. Keith sighed in ecstasy as Max flicked at his sensitive tip with her tongue. She hoped it would make him release his grip on her hair, but it only got tighter. He pulled her head towards him, forcing more of his length in and hitting the back of her throat. “Shit,” Keith sighed, “I think I figured out what has Harrington hooked.” “Let me try,” Tommy said, like she was some kind of new toy. Keith pulled her head away from his cock and Tommy’s hand replaced his in her hair, and before she could blink Tommy was shoving his cock in her mouth. Max went through the motions again, and he was enjoying himself almost as much as she hated herself. As they swapped her back and forth a few more times, Max felt as if she was watching herself from across the room. This was survival mode; she would do what she had to to get through this.Suddenly, a lack of oxygen brought her back to herself and she let go of Keith to push against Tommy’s thighs. Her nose was buried in Tommy’s dark pubic hair as he forced his cock down her throat and kept it there, making Max tear up and issue desperate gurgles as she choked. He finally pulled back enough for her to take in a gasping breath, then relentlessly thrusted into her mouth again and again, penetrating her throat each time. “Damn, she’s a pro,” Tommy laughed, “not even a gag reflex…found ourselves a secret little whore.”It was true, Billy had worked the gag reflex out of her. But she hadn’t chosen it. She hadn’t chosen any of this. Her body wasn’t her own anymore—neither was her life.At long last Tommy let go of her and she fell over on her side. She sobbed, wiping off the snot and saliva from her nose and mouth so she could take deep breaths.Keith pushed her over so she was lying on her back, and Tommy hiked up her dress, pulled her underwear aside and unceremoniously shoved two fingers inside her“Ow! Shit—stop!” Max tried to sit up but Keith pushed her back down hard and straddled her neck, pinning her arms down with his knees and shoving his cock back into her mouth. “Holy fuck,” Tommy laughed like he’d just discovered buried treasure. “She’s so tight.”Tommy started roughly pumping his fingers in and out of her dry cunt, and it was wildly uncomfortable but all she could do was whimper around Keith’s cock as he thrust in and out of her mouth. The only thing she could see was his lower abs and the trail of hair that led down to the patch of sandy curls. He was slamming his cock into her throat, having a harder time than Tommy did at getting it down, but eventually Max felt a horrible fullness in her throat and once again couldn’t breathe. Keith was crueler than Tommy, and didn’t let up despite her struggling. She tried to vocalize in panic, which used up precious oxygen. She felt lightheaded, and black crept into her vision. Was this really how she would go? A humiliating end to a humiliating life. But just as she succumbed to the darkness, Keith pulled out of her throat and she regained consciousness just in time to hear him let out a gruff groan as he came into her mouth. He pulled out and held her mouth shut so she didn’t have any choice but to swallow. She let her head loll to the side in resignation.“Don’t look so relieved, Maxine,” Keith smirked, then bent down to pull at her nipple with his teeth, “we’re just getting started.” Of course they were. But Max was done fighting. In fact, her arms and legs were starting to feel too heavy to do much of anything. Tommy finally pulled his fingers out of her, flipped her onto her stomach and pulled her underwear down to her thighs. Keith smacked her ass right on one of the worst bruises, which knocked a pained yell out of Max’s throat.She was crying, but the tears felt distant. In fact, everything felt distant, except for the pain. Her face didn’t feel like her face, and the room seemed just slightly off its axis. She put her hands over her ass to try and block Keith from hitting her again, but he bent her arms behind her back uncomfortably and held them there with one massive hand while stroking himself with the other. Max whimpered as Tommy squeezed her ass cheeks and she felt the wet tip of his cock brush her folds. She would have normally tensed up, but her brain felt like it was moving too slowly to send those signals around to her muscles. She didn’t feel anxiety; she just felt sadness, fury and exhaustion as he lined himself up with her. Max screamed through her teeth as Tommy abruptly shoved his cock inside her, and she tried and failed to adjust to the intrusion. She took in sharp breaths and tried to spread her legs apart to open herself up more, but her underwear was stuck at her thighs, keeping them close together. He didn’t ease into it. Max let out pained groans and whimpers with each of Tommy’s thrusts, which quickly became harder and faster. His hips slammed into her ass with each thrust, hitting the bruise and causing a fresh stab of pain every time. “Stop,” Max begged, “please! It hurts…”“I bet it does,” Tommy huffed, “Tightest snatch I’ve ever felt.” Keith chuckled. “Not after I’m done with it.” Keith let her go and Tommy forced her up onto all fours without pulling out. He gripped her hips hard and started thrusting again, getting even deeper from this angle. The room spun a bit and Max let her head hang down in misery as tears steadily dropped onto the carpet. She felt a hand gathering her hair and closed her eyes.It was finally sinking in that no matter how hard she tried, the torment wouldn’t ever stop. She held up Steve as this savior but he couldn’t save her—no one could. She was in quicksand; the harder she struggled, the deeper she sank. Maybe Billy, Tommy and Keith were right to treat her this way. Did things like this happen to people who didn’t deserve them? Was this the universe restoring balance after she’d been a serial killer or something in a past life?As if to prove her theory, when she opened her eyes, Keith was in front of her again, pulling her mouth open so he could shove his cock in and force her head down onto it as he bucked his hips into her mouth.They went at it like that for some time as Tommy hammered away behind her and Keith hardened in her mouth. It wasn’t long until he started ramming into her throat again, going harder and further than last time. At one point he held her against him so her nose was in his pubes, and she started suffocating again. He let her go just as her arms started to collapse and she coughed and spit as she pulled away, drooling onto the floor and trying to catch her breath.“Fuck, do that again,” Tommy said, “She just got even tighter.” “No! I can’t—“ Max started to protest before Keith rammed his cock down her throat again. As she started to panic, she felt herself clench around Tommy involuntarily. Tommy’s fingers gripped her hips hard enough to bruise as his own hips stuttered against her. “Oh, fuck!” he shouted, and lurched forward with the force of his release. He spasmed inside Max as she felt the familiar sensation of being filled with cum against her will and the emotions that came with it: relief mixed with pain, anger, and disgust. She didn’t know how she got there, but the next thing she knew Keith was underneath her, and she was staring down between her legs at his horribly large cock. Tommy was sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, his hand lazily stroking his own shaft. “I don’t think that thing’s gonna fit, man.”“She’ll figure it out.” Max felt dizzy, and his words seemed to float around before they landed on her ears. A second later, she tried to remember what he just said, and couldn’t. What was going on? She expected to feel this way…but why? Had she taken something earlier? She remembered having a drink…how many did she have?She was jolted out of her hazy reverie by the sharp pain of something too large being forced inside her.“No,” she heard herself say from far away, “stop, I can’t…” Keith thrust upward and Max cried out as the first couple of inches abruptly stretched her to a painful extent.“Go for a ride, Maxine,” Keith commanded, and slapped her ass. She yelped, and suddenly tasted salty tears as they slipped through her lips. She didn’t remember feeling them coming on. Max obeyed him and forced herself down and up and back again, taking more of him in. “God damn,” Tommy said, his voice laced with awe, “look at it hang on.”“Such a slut,” Keith smirked, “she loves it too much to let go.” Tommy laughed as Max sobbed. The stretch was excruciating, but Keith was relentless. She leaned over him, exhausted and barely able to keep her head up. Her arms trembled violently as she held herself up, and the shocks of pain were the only thing keeping her awake. Her chest hurt, too—it felt like she kept forgetting to breathe, or her lungs weren’t keeping in enough air.Suddenly, Keith grabbed her upper arms to hold her in place, and stopped thrusting. She looked down at him, confused, but he wasn’t looking at her. She heard Tommy spit a few times and felt his hands on her ass, which radiated heat from all the slapping they had been doing. Her foggy brain was struggling to put two and two together, and arrived at the conclusion too late. “No—no!” she screamed, trying to wrench herself free, but Keith kept her anchored down, “Don’t, please. Tommy, please—“But he didn’t seem to hear her. He pushed hard into her asshole and broke through to slide inside her with some difficulty, setting off an explosion of agony that felt as if it would split Max in two. She shrieked and incoherent pleas to stop fell from her mouth as they both started thrusting.Why were her screams so far away but the pain was so, so close? The pain was overwhelming—she would do anything to make it stop. Anything. Not only did her insides feel like they were being pushed out of place, she knew from the white hot pain that they’d torn her in more places than one. Every time she thought she’d found the most painful experience possible, the universe just had to prove her wrong.Max didn’t think she could feel more like an abused toy than she did with Billy, but here she was. This was the first time there hadn’t been even a hint of pleasure. For all of the horror Billy inflicted on her, he always made her come, whether she wanted to or not. But Keith and Tommy couldn’t care less.As she looked around desperately for anything that could help her, everything seemed to blur as her eyes moved. She was being torn apart, and felt as if she was falling in three different directions—the dizzying sensations combined with the agony was too much. She felt sure her heart would give out. In fact, she wished it would. When the black took over her vision, she didn’t resist.The next few hours passed in short, wretched vignettes as Max drifted in and out of awareness, alternating between passing out and being in some kind of fugue state. At one point, she came to as she was biting the pillow in agony from Keith drilling into her ass. Later, she was on her back, looking up into Tommy’s face as he was inside her. She couldn’t see much but the streaks in his hazel eyes and his freckles.The night was a blur of tears, sweat, blood, and cum invading every sense and intermittently puncturing her stupor. She had no idea how many times they came in or on her. The last thing she saw before they left her alone in the dark was Keith wiping blood on her stomach. As she slipped in and out of consciousness in the coming hours, those memories and the ones before them blended together with the darkness to create a shapeless mass of pain, dread and despair.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy got home around 11PM, exhausted from playing a hard game but in a pretty good mood. The Tigers had won against Christian by just 4 points, and, maybe more importantly, he had scored 12 points more than Harrington.He wasn’t sure yet if his plan had worked. Harrington looked tired tonight, and a little distracted…but whether he’d seen the photo or not, Billy couldn’t really tell. He either hadn’t seen it, or was putting on a game face. He guessed he’d know once he spoke to Max. He’d been looking forward to another night together, but she might be in pretty bad shape if Harrington had broken up with her.Sure enough, when Billy opened the door to Max’s room, she was laid out on the floor face down next to her tipped over wastebasket. He initially thought she was passed out, but her shoulders shook with quiet sobs. Her hair was a tangled mess, and she was dressed in a black nightgown he’d never seen before. He stood and stared at her for a moment, surprised.When he stepped closer he smelled vomit, and realized it was spilling out of the tipped wastebasket onto the carpet.“Ugh, Jesus,” he cringed, “what the fuck, Max?”Max didn’t answer him. She didn’t even seem to realize he was there.He covered his nose and bent down to her. He rolled her over to her side and pushed her hair out of her face. Her eyes were half open, but unfocused behind the tears, and snot trailed from her nose and chin down to the carpet; she’d clearly been crying for a while. Her lower lip was split right down the middle, and there was some blood on her chin. Little idiot must have busted it stumbling around blind drunk. “Max,” Billy said, louder, but she ignored him again. She just lightly fluttered her lids and took in stuttering breaths he recognized from her bouts of prolonged weeping. She was shivering violently, too. It was cold in her room, but not that cold.He’d never seen her this fucked up before, and there could only really be one explanation: his plan worked. Harrington must have dumped her, and she must have gotten so upset that she drank herself stupid. From the look of her, she’d gotten into her mom’s pill collection, too.Shit…what if she overdosed, or something? But he guessed it was probably a good sign that there was so much vomit in that trash can. Whatever was in her had to be out by now. He’d have to keep an eye on her, though.Billy wiped off her face, picked her up and placed her in bed. She groaned and struggled against him when he did, muttering incoherent protests. When he pulled the covers over her, she seemed to calm down slightly.Now, he had to deal with the vomit—he wouldn’t be able to sleep with that smell. Annoyed, he emptied the wastebasket into the toilet, rinsed it out in the tub, then cleaned up the small amount that was on Max’s carpet. He really didn’t think he’d be spending his night doing drunk maintenance.Finally, after covering the stain with a towel, he slid into bed with Max, who had finally passed out. He lay on his side, examining her blotchy, unconscious face for a moment. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something felt off.He wondered if this, of all the things he’d done, was what would actually break her.Billy had never really been in a relationship, but he’d always been the one to break things off with the girls he slept with. They often didn’t take it well, but they got over it eventually. He guessed getting dumped after a relationship would suck even more, but if the last month had proven anything, it was that Max was stubborn as hell and much tougher than he’d ever given her credit for. She’d kick and scream and blame Billy, but, at the end of the day, she would survive. And with Harrington out of the way, Billy would have her to himself.But as he watched her utter frightened cries in her sleep, chest rising and falling fitfully, he couldn’t help but wonder: would there be anything left to have?

Max laid on her side in the bathtub, letting the shower rain down on her. She didn’t know what time it was, but it was still dark. She didn’t even really remember getting up and taking herself to the bathroom. Everything felt hazy, like she was in a dream. But the pain was too real for a dream…it was worse than it had been in a long time. White hot stabs of pain jolted her as the water dripped between her legs and cheeks.She tried to remember what Billy had done to her, and why, but last night was a formless blur. The last moment she remembered clearly from last night was being here, relaxing in the bath and trying to relieve her cramps. Then, she vaguely remembered waking up a few minutes ago with Billy fast asleep next to her, but nothing in between.What the hell happened? What had she done for him to hurt her like this? Had he drugged her? Or had she drugged herself? The nausea felt similar to the other night, when she’d taken her mom’s pill; that kind of sick-to-your-stomach-and-head-too motion sickness that convinced your inner ear you were at sea when you were stock still on land. It threatened to send up everything in her stomach at any moment. But she had already tried to vomit this morning—there was nothing left but bile.Clearly she had blacked out…maybe she’d been an idiot and washed the pill down with alcohol. Wait—yes, she did remember mixing a drink. How many, though? She clutched her hair in frustration. Searching her memory felt like trying to swim to the surface from the bottom of an ocean of cotton. She’d blacked out before from drinking, but the memory gap had never been this bad.When Max had undressed before the shower, she’d found her underwear ruined; stretched out and covered in blood and cum. But as she stood in the tub, that mixture kept leaking out to a worrying degree. She’d never seen that much cum before; initially she thought it was discharge until she realized it was leaking out of her ass, too. Both holes were torn worse than ever, and her throat was raw. How many times had he fucked her to spend that much and cause all this damage?But the pain wasn’t limited there. Her muscles also ached terribly, especially her ass cheeks, thighs, and arms. The pain was connected to sensations, not quite memories; she remembered the feeling of hands pinning her arms to the bed, her hair being pulled, her throat hurting from screaming, begging…none of it was new. They could just as easily be memories from some other night with him.Max had become old hat at pushing through the pain, but she desperately wished she had some of Eddie’s oxy left. She needed it more than ever, but she’d have to settle for Advil. Missing school wasn’t an option—she’d missed too much, and Chapman wouldn’t let her make up the exam. She’d go, take the test, hand in her term paper, and ask Steve to take her home at lunch. If he couldn’t, she’d just go to the nurse’s office to sleep the rest of the day. There were a couple daybeds behind curtains where students could rest for a while if they had a migraine or bad cramps or something.Max groaned and took in sharp breaths as she sat up, putting weight on her protesting injuries. She looked down between her legs and saw more blood than she had expected running into the drain. Her periods were not usually this heavy, but the birth control probably screwed with her hormones. The cramps had also gotten even worse than they’d been last night. Great timing…just add it to the pile.She slowly and carefully stood up, washed off as best she could and combed out her tangled hair under the shower head. She took four Advil and some deep breaths before getting dressed and packing extra pads in her backpack.By the time Max got ready, it was only 5:30. Not wanting to see Billy’s face, she went over to the couch and drifted back into a fitful sleep that was disturbed a couple of hours later by Billy shaking her awake, asking if she was ready to go. She didn’t speak to him—just got up, grabbed her bag and slowly walked out to the car.She sat down gingerly in the passenger’s seat of the Camaro, breathing through the pain radiating from her lower half. When she caught a glimpse of herself in the visor mirror, she flipped it away. She knew she looked like shit—she didn’t need a reminder.“What the hell did you take last night?” Billy asked as he reversed out of the driveway.Max glared at him. “I don’t know,” she said quietly, trying not to irritate her sore throat.Billy blinked at her. “You don’t know?”Max sighed in frustration. “I’d guess it was something to help me get through what you did to me last night.”Billy raised his eyebrows. “What I did to you? I didn’t do shit, Max.”Max scoffed. “Course you didn’t.”“I’m serious. When I got home, you were on the floor, crying, next to your own puke. I had to clean it up and keep an eye on you all night…make sure you didn’t overdose or something. You were fucked up.”Max frowned at him. Why was he denying it? Did he think this was funny?Billy frowned back at her. “Why do you think I did something to you?”“I don’t know, maybe because every part of my body fucking hurts? When that happens, it’s usually your fault.”Billy just stared ahead at the road. “I didn’t touch you last night, Max. You must have gone out and gotten shitfaced. I don’t know.”Max searched his face. He glanced at her, and they locked eyes for a moment before she looked away out of her window, pouting in confusion. Billy could be lying, of course, but if he was, he’d gotten better at it. There was no hint of mischief in his eyes. In fact, she may have been imagining it but she thought she saw something like concern.

Billy looked at Max out of the corner of his eye. This was very fucking weird. She was clearly in a lot of pain, and whatever it was that happened last night, she immediately blamed on him, just because she’d woken up next to him. But, for once, he was innocent.There had to be some explanation. The way she walked to the car was slow and careful, like she’d injured her tailbone or something…maybe she’d taken advantage of his absence to go back to skating with her pothead friends.“Did you go to the skatepark last night?”“I wouldn’t have left. I needed to study.”“Your lip is busted, you have no memory…maybe you fell down the front steps and hit your head or something.”“The front steps didn’t fuck me, Billy.”Billy’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “You think someone fucked you?”Max glowered at him. “Once you have something forced into your asshole until it bleeds, it’s pretty tough to mistake that feeling for anything else.”Billy flexed his jaw. He had no idea what could have happened. His first instinct was to blame it on Harrington but he was with him all night. Could someone have broken in and attacked her? Nothing had looked out of place…and why would a random attacker bother drugging her?“You must have invited someone over. Munson? Skatepark guys? Maybe one of them drugged you again.”“Eddie would never do that. And I told you, that was an accident. I don’t have any of those guys’ numbers, anyway.”Maybe she got so fucked up that she imagined all of it…but he doubted it. Someone hurt her, and that someone was the only one who knew what happened.“Last time I blacked out, my memory came back as the day went on,” he said, “just wait a while…maybe it’ll come back to you.”Max nodded and stared out of the window, silent for the rest of the ride. So was Billy. For once, he didn’t know what to say.

Steve was leaning against his locker talking to Isaac when he saw Max walk into senior hall with Rita. Max had a thin smile on her face as Rita spoke to her, but she looked off. She was paler than usual, and walking slowly and deliberately, like athletes did when they walked through an injury.“I’ll be right back,” Steve said to Isaac before he walked down the hall towards Max.“Here’s your beau,” Rita said, nodding her head toward Steve. Max turned around and smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Something was wrong.“Hey,” Steve said, “are you alright?”Rita put her hands on her hips and looked at Max expectantly, who rolled her eyes.“I asked her the same,” Rita said, “she’s not feeling well…again.”“I know I look like shit,” Max said, “you guys don’t have to rub it in.”Steve frowned. “What happened to your lip?”“An incident with a cabinet, apparently…” Rita said, voice thick with disbelief.“You’re being insane,” Max sighed, “What do you think is going on?”“I don’t know, Max. Tell me. Eddie says you haven’t been to the skatepark in a while, you show up looking sick or injured all the time, and you’re having panic atta—“Max slammed her locker and looked angrily at Rita, who withered slightly in guilt, glancing at Steve. She’d said too much.“Sorry,” Rita said, “I’m just worried.”“Panic attacks?” Steve asked.Max exhaled angrily. “It’s senior year, and I’m stressed. Who the hell isn’t?”Rita sighed. “Max, I—““I have to go,” Max said evenly. “I’ll see you later.”She turned on her heel and walked away. He wasn’t imagining things—she was definitely walking strangely, with a small, barely perceptible limp despite her attempts to cover it up.Steve turned to Rita, who looked like she might cry.“You’re not crazy,” he said gently, “something’s wrong.”“I know,” she said, passing a hand over her face and taking a deep breath. "Listen, I shouldn’t have mentioned the panic attacks…Max told me in confidence. But she’s scaring the shit out of me.”“Panic attacks? Plural?”Rita nodded. “She said she’s been having them for a while. I found her on the floor of the library the other day.”Steve blinked at her. The floor? This was so bad she was passing out in public, and he didn’t have a clue? How oblivious had he been?“Shit. I—I didn’t know. She didn’t tell me.”“She wouldn’t have told me either, if I didn’t catch her in the act. She’s stubborn. I don’t know if she’s embarrassed, or doesn’t want to burden us, or what. But whatever it is, I have a horrible feeling about it. I think she’s in trouble.”Steve’s stomach turned over. Rita had just put words to a vague feeling he’d had for some time, especially after the other night. But he’d been waving it away…it was just a feeling—he didn’t have any proof. When he would ask Max if she was okay, she always said she was fine, but he believed her less each time. He should have pressed her, found out what was wrong before it got this far.“Do you have any idea what might be going on?” he asked.“Honestly,” Rita said, looking Steve up and down, “I suspected you, at first.”Steve raised his eyebrows. “I mean, I suspect myself, too. Am I doing something wrong? Has she said something?”“No. She’s never said a bad word about you. That’s what made me suspicious; Max can complain about anything. But for what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s you. She’s happiest when you’re around.”Steve sighed. “I wish I knew what it could be. I should’ve been paying better attention.”“We need to talk to Eddie,” Rita looked around. “Have you seen him today?”“No.”“He’d better not be skipping again. I wonder if he knows anything.”

Max was normally a quick test taker, but she was one of the last to finish Chapman’s exam in first period. It took a long time to dredge up anything from the depths of her foggy, murky brain, and she wasn’t as confident as she usually was when she handed it in.As she was taking the test, she kept getting distracted by remnants of last night, like crumbs of memories that arrived in strange fragments. The taste of her cotton pillowcase, the tingle of stubble against her breasts, the sight of freckles and streaks in a hazel eye…it offered no clarity, other than the fact she was with someone last night. But was it a fact? It was all so ephemeral it could have just as easily been a dream she was remembering. When the bell rang and Max finally left the classroom she went back to her locker and leaned her head against the cool metal. She was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. It hurt to sit, to stand, to walk…and the terrible mystery surrounding it made her edgy and ill. There wasn’t anything important happening in chemistry today, so maybe she could go to the nurse and lie down until third period.She walked down the hall slowly and as she turned the corner she saw four guys laughing together in a group outside of the gym. The two facing her were strangely familiar, and their laughs in particular sent chills down her spine for some reason. It was a small school, so she knew who they were—senior guys, Keith and Tommy, but they felt familiar beyond that. Why?Max looked at them out of the corner of her eye and the tall blonde one, Keith, looked back at her. He elbowed Tommy beside him, who looked over at her. They both smiled, and Tommy winked. Max was confused for the split second it took to recognize the eye that had winked at her—the streaky, hazel eye above a bed of freckles. Then, as her eyes moved from Tommy’s eyes to Keith’s hands, she stopped in her tracks. They were giant…and the sight of them made her remember another sensation: two sets of hands held her down last night.It was like she’d been feeling around a pitch dark room for hours, and had finally found a flashlight. But when she turned it on, she discovered that a horde of the undead had been in the room with her the whole time, watching and waiting.Crucial pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place and form a horrific picture. The two men standing in front of her had forced themselves on her, and at one point they were inside her at the same time. She remembered the pain combined with the shock—she hadn’t ever considered that as a possibility. She remembered looking to their faces for any trace of pity and finding only those smug, heartless smirks.Max froze in place and broke into a cold sweat. She remembered the what, but not the why, or how. Why would they do this? How did they get in her house? And how the hell had they hidden it from Billy? As she stared at them and grappled with the resurfaced memories, a sickly fear took over her heart and lungs. She felt dizzy, and wondered if she could get to the nurse’s office before she passed out.Somehow, one foot went in front of the other, and she walked past the group of guys, looking directly ahead. Her ears were ringing, and she barely heard her name above it.“Maxine,” Tommy said, “wait up.”Max wanted to run, but her legs felt like they were made of lead. She stopped despite herself, but didn’t turn around. Tommy stepped in front of her, and she looked up at the streaky hazel eyes. From afar, he seemed like a nice guy. She never thought he would have been capable of brutalizing her like he had. Keith joined Tommy a second later.“Hell of a hangover?” Keith asked.Max’s mouth had dried up. “What do you want?”“Just making sure we’re on the same page about last night,” Tommy said.Max looked between the two, confused and angry. “Did—did you drug me?”Tommy and Keith glanced at each other in mild confusion.“You don’t remember what happened?” Tommy said.“How—why would you…I—I’ll tell the police.”Keith frowned at her. “I wouldn’t do that.”“She doesn’t remember,” Tommy said, "I knew those pills looked gnarly. Maxine, you drugged yourself. You took three of some pill from a drawer in the bathroom. Said you wanted to relax.”Max’s initial thought was that he had to be lying, but he knew about the vanity drawer…he must be telling the truth. But she’d taken three? She still didn’t understand. “Why—why would I—with you…”Keith took a polaroid out of his pocket and showed it to her. When she saw her own orange hair it took less than a second for it to come back to her: the blackmail within the blackmail.She snatched at the photo and he laughed and backed away. “Easy. We’ll keep our mouths shut if you keep yours shut—that was the deal.”Max stared daggers at him as tears began to sting her eyes. She was reliving the disbelief and horror that she must have gone through last night. “You—““Keith?” a girl’s voice called. Keith turned around and stuffed the photo in his pocket as Rebecca, his girlfriend walked up to him alongside Tommy’s girlfriend, Carol.“Hi Maxine,” Rebecca gave her a polite smile, then turned back to Keith, “What was that?” she asked.“What was what?” Keith asked.Rebecca looked between him and Max. “What you just had in your hand.”Max felt like she might faint. She had to get out of here. She brushed past the girls and walked quickly around the corner towards the infirmary.When she burst through the nurse’s office door, she wasn’t sure if she’d taken a breath between where she’d been and where she now was. The nurse and the freshman having his temperature taken both flinched and gaped at her as she stumbled across the room. Her chest felt like it was being constricted, and her heart felt like it was working far too hard.The nurse leapt to her feet and ran to Max to keep her upright. She was asking questions that Max barely heard. The last thing she remembered doing was shaking her head when she heard the word ‘asthma,’ and lying down in the daybed.Then, black.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Steve didn’t hear a thing Lawler said all period. His mind was a haunted carousel of suspicions and anxieties as he pored over every interaction he’d had with Max over the last month, questioning things he’d seen and heard. How was it possible that she had been having these episodes, and he was just finding out?He thought of the bruises he often noticed on Max’s body. The last time they'd had sex about a week and a half ago, he'd noticed a nasty one on her hip that she blamed on falling off the half pipe. But according to Rita, Eddie said Max hadn’t been to the skatepark in a while.She wouldn’t let him undress her the other night when he stayed over, either, and today she was clearly in pain. How many injuries was she hiding?Steve’s first instinct was that her stepdad was beating her. He didn’t know much about Neil Hargrove, since Max didn’t like to talk about her parents. She rarely even used his name when she spoke of him; she preferred to use creative epithets, like ‘Constable Fuckface.’ If he was abusive, it might explain Max’s behavior, and honestly, Billy’s, too.Billy…he was another suspect. Living with that hyper-macho douchebag couldn’t be easy. Steve was an only child, but he knew siblings fought, and Max could be pretty combative. It wouldn’t surprise him if Billy had hit her before, but if it was that out of control, wouldn’t their parents stop it? Then again…their parents were away a lot and Billy didn’t seem like the type to hold his temper just because she was smaller, and a woman. Or…they weren’t technically family, so could it be, even…no—that’s a giant leap. No reason to jump there yet.He had to talk to Max again. When the dismissal bell rang, he walked to senior hall and waited by Max’s locker. She usually stopped by in the 10 minute break between classes. But five minutes passed, and she was nowhere in sight. He checked his watch again: seven minutes, now.“Steve, do you have a sec?” a voice from behind him asked. He turned around and saw Rebecca, a girl he had a few classes with but didn’t know that well.“Um, sure,” he said.Rebecca cast a furtive look around to make sure no one was listening, then turned to him with an accusatory look on her face.“You need to be more careful,” she hissed, taking a folded up polaroid out from her pocket, thrusting it into his hand and closing his fist around it. “Keith found this in the locker room. You’re lucky I got it from him…Billy would murder you if he found it.”Steve blinked at her, thoroughly confused. “I—what?”Rebecca frowned at him. “Max is a nice girl. Don’t screw it up.” She didn’t wait for Steve to respond, just turned around and walked away, leaving Steve blinking stupidly after her.He looked down at his closed fist and opened it, unfolding the photo. His heart plunged into his stomach when he realized what it was. He knew that hair, that skin, and those breasts.He stared at it in shock for a minute. He scrutinized every detail, looking for something that would feed his denial and indicate that it was just a girl who kind of looked like Max. But it was her.Maybe it was an old picture…it couldn’t have been that old, though. She used to keep her hair cut at shoulder length, but she decided to let it get long over the summer, like it was in this photo.But even if it was taken before they were dating, why the hell was it in the locker room? Which guy could’ve dropped it? She said herself that she’d never dated or slept with anyone at school. But that had to be a lie…this photo wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t.Was that what all her shifty behavior had been about? Had she been cheating on him this entire time? Was it a hickey or love bite that she’d been hiding from him the other night? His gut said no, that just she wasn’t that kind of person…but he also thought that she wasn’t the kind of person that would let another guy take this photo. Nothing made sense, and he didn’t know what to think.When the nurse insisted Max lay down for a while, she didn’t argue. She’d woken up shortly after she had passed out, and the nurse asked quite a few questions, none of which Max wanted to answer. All of the usual scapegoats showed up: there were apparently new bruises on the backs of her knees and thighs that she had missed this morning—she explained them away with skateboarding, and blamed the episode on exam anxiety and her period.The nurse had shown her some deep breathing exercises to do next time she felt a panic coming on that she could do without a paper bag. Max paid attention. The way her life was going, she might end up needing that technique a few times a day.Max’s stomach turned over when the second period dismissal bell rang, so she sat for several minutes before heading out to her locker, trying to steel herself. She just had to make through this one more class, and Steve could drive her home during lunch. But she was racing against the clock. If Rebecca had convinced Keith to show her the photo, then Carol knew, too. If Carol knew, it was just a matter of time before the whole school knew.Sure enough, as she rounded the corner into senior hall, Carol and Stacey were talking in hushed tones at Carol’s locker. Further down the hall, she saw Steve near her own locker, looking at something in his hand. Her heart stopped. Was it what she thought it was?*Cough* “Whore” *cough*The faux subtle jibe stung Max’s ears, and she looked over to discover Stacey had been the source of it. Her and Carol chuckled as they eyed Max derisively.A flash of rage shot through Max’s body as she changed direction. “What the fuck did you just say?”People turned to look, but Max didn’t give a shit anymore. She strode up to Stacey, staring at her defiantly. Surprise flickered across Stacey’s face, like she hadn’t expected Max to say anything back, but she quickly gained composure, looking down her nose at Max.Stacey sighed theatrically. “You know, Maxine, I wondered what Steve saw in such a desperate social climber, but men are so simple…of course he’d fall for a total slut.”The word cut like a hot knife. Until now, she’d only ever been called that by a man who was raping her as he said it. Before she could stop herself, Max’s hand shot out and slapped Stacey across the face.“Go fuck yourself,” Max seethed.There were scattered gasps around the hallway as Stacey held her hand to her cheek and stared at Max in shock.“Maxine!” Carol yelped.“Fuck you, too, Carol,” Max said, with a poisonous look in her direction. “Gossip won’t buy you a personality.”“But showing your tits will buy you Homecoming Queen, apparently,” Stacey spat.“Max!” Steve was jogging toward them. Max looked at him and back at Stacey. She wanted nothing more than to hit her again, but something stayed her hand.Stacey laughed. “Your photography could use some work, Steve.”Steve glared at her. “Fuck off, Stacey. Come on, Max.”He put a hand on Max’s back and walked with her toward her locker. It was a quieter part of the hallway, away from the curious crowd, though some still cast looks back at them. Max was shaking with rage. Her whole body felt tense; her neck and cheeks burned with fury and embarrassment, and her insides churned with trepidation.Once they were at her locker and out of anyone’s earshot, Steve turned to her.“They think I took the photo,” he snuffed, smiling bitterly at the floor, “That’s good, right?”Max had underestimated the speed at which gossip traveled in this school. Steve knew, and he was upset. Her words died in her throat. She didn’t know what to say.Steve finally looked at her. “You’re not gonna say anything? Just gonna go around punching cheerleaders?”Max crossed her arms. “It was a slap. And she deserved it.”“I don’t doubt it…but Max, what the hell is going on? Who took that picture?” Max closed her eyes, trying to stave off the tears she felt rising. “Steve, it’s so complicated…my life is—it’s so fucked up.”“What does that mean?”Max’s opened her eyes to stare miserably at the ground. “I can’t tell you,” she said through trembling lips.Steve stared at her in silence for a moment. His face was a mix of emotions: anger, confusion, and concern seemed to all have equal footing.“If you’re…you know—if there’s someone else, please just say it.”“Steve, I swear, that’s not it.” she sobbed.Steve ran a hand through his hair and chuckled in disbelief. “You know what doesn’t make any sense? I believe you.”Max looked up at him guiltily.He nodded. “Maybe I’m an idiot, but I don’t think you’d do something to hurt me. Not on purpose.”Max flinched as the shrill third period bell rang. The students lingering in the hallway started to hustle into classrooms. “You’re right,” she said quietly, blinking out another couple of tears, “I wouldn’t.”Suddenly an intense, groaning cramp gripped her lower abdomen and tailbone. She felt sweat break out on her neck with the effort of keeping a poker face. She clenched her teeth and leaned on the locker for support.Steve searched her face seriously. “Is someone hurting you?”Max’s jaw clenched even tighter, and heart threw itself against her ribcage.“I have to go to class,” she said, wiping the tears from her face and turning to walk away. Steve followed her.“I’m right, aren’t I? Max, please, let me help you.”“I don’t need help.”“Bullshit. Is it your stepdad? Billy?”Max felt a sickly jolt of panic. She stopped walking and looked up at Steve tearily. “Steve, you have to stop. There are things I have to deal with on my own, okay?”“No, not okay! Whatever you’re hiding, it’s hurting you. I’m not just gonna sit here and let it happen.”Max ran her hands through her hair. She knew what she had to do, but, God, she had never wanted to do anything less.“Steve, you have to trust me when I tell you I’m fine.”“Well, I don’t.”“Then maybe we shouldn’t be together.”Steve sighed in frustration. “You don’t mean that.”“I think I do.”Max tried to keep a resolute expression as she looked up at Steve, but she had to look away after a few seconds. The look on his face broke Max’s heart. She’d just told him she wouldn’t do anything to hurt him, but clearly that was a lie, too.“I’m sorry,” she said, “you deserve better,” and walked away as quickly as she could towards the history classroom. He didn’t follow her this time.Max stopped outside the classroom to wipe the tears away with her cardigan sleeve, even though more quickly took their place. She couldn’t bring herself to look back at Steve. She took a deep breath and walked into the classroom, dropping her term paper on Mr. Jennings’ desk before sitting down at the first open seat she saw. As she sat, she could feel eyes on her. After a minute of avoiding looking at anything but the hangnail she picked at, she glanced to her left and caught a few students quickly avert their gaze from her. Whether people stared because they noticed she was crying, or saw her hit Stacey, she didn’t know. But either way, it was unbearable.Max got up from her seat, muttered something about not feeling well to Mr. Jennings, and walked out of the classroom to an empty hallway. She walked slowly back to her locker in a miserable haze, opened her locker and sobbed quietly into it for a couple of minutes.Steve was all she had, and she’d lost him. She didn’t know if she could go on like this.In any case, she certainly couldn’t take being in this building for another second, so she took her skateboard out of her locker. She was in too much pain to be skating, but it was the only way she could get home early now. She’d just take it slow.As Max shut her locker and walked away, her eyes passed over the girls’ bathroom door. Billy had raped her there minutes after Steve told her he loved her. Any happy moment in her life recently had been tainted by Billy, but that wasn’t enough for him. He had to humiliate her even further by leaving that photo in the locker room. There’s no chance it was an accident.In fact, he probably hoped Steve would find it and break up with her. Maybe he was tired of having to compete with him, or tired of someone else using something he believed belonged to him. And he didn’t care if that something was irreparably damaged in the process of taking it back.He stoked the fires of her living hell so casually, and now he’d taken away the one thing that made it bearable. As she walked towards the entrance, fury coiled itself around her heart like a thorny weed. It was too nice outside to waste time in English class, so Billy sat outside in the outdoor lunch area, smoking and sitting in the sun.He had been thinking about Max and had a nagging feeling he couldn’t get rid of: there was a chance that someone taken a page from his own book and threatened her with the photo. He hadn’t considered that possibility before…he might have underestimated the guys in his class.Someone had taken the photo from the locker room, and that night, when everyone knew he’d be out at the game, someone came to the house and raped Max. She was too injured for it to have been consensual.It had to be someone from P.E. He’d figure out who it was. He just had to be careful about it…ask the right questions. And if that didn’t work, he’d beat it out of them.He saw movement out towards the school entrance out of the corner of his eye and did a double take. It was Max. The sun glinted off the warm tones of her hair as she walked as quickly as she could with her injuries. She was holding her skateboard, and was now striding through the parking lot…where the hell was she going?He stood and watched her for a minute, ready to chase her down if he had to. But she stopped beside the Camaro and repositioned her board in her hands. There’s no way she was about to do what he thought she was.Max reared back and swung the board hard at the driver’s side door. “Hey!” Billy barked, and set off in a sprint towards her. She ignored him, and continued to beat the car with her board. She broke a headlight, dented the hell out of the driver’s side with the board’s hard wheels, then managed to crack the window and shatter a tail light. By the time Billy got close to her, she was going after the other tail light.“What the fuck are you doing?!” he shouted, advancing on her.She turned to him with a wild look in her eye and swung the board hard. He jumped backwards to dodge it, and braced to catch it the next time she swung.“You put the photo in the locker room!” she seethed, brandishing the board, “You did this to me!” She swung the skateboard again and Billy caught it. He yanked it away from her and tossed it aside.“Why?!” Max screamed. “Why would you do that?! Haven’t you tortured me enough?”“You need to calm down,” he said.“Calm down?!” her voice was high and hysterical. She picked up an empty glass Coke bottle from the ground and hurled it at him.Billy ducked—the bottle narrowly missed his head and shattered a few feet behind him. “Jesus!”“My memory came back, you piece of shit. Keith and Tommy raped me last night because of you.”Billy froze. Keith and Tommy? He stared at her. He must have misheard.Max nodded bitterly. “Yeah, both of them. You didn’t expect that, did you? You thought Steve would find it, and break up with me. Well I just broke up with him, because I can’t have anything decent while you’re in my life to ruin it.”A sudden wave of despair drowned Max’s fury, and she began to sob.“They fucked me at the same time, Billy.” Max wept, “It hurt…so much. But that’s all I’m good for, right? I’m just a toy to be thrown around and abused, because it’s fun to see me suffer. Well, congratulations: you broke the toy!” She turned back to the Camaro and started kicking the tail light as hard as she could. Billy ran forward and grabbed her from behind.“Fuck you!” she screamed, thrashing wildly, kicking and scratching him. When he thought he had her subdued, she managed to wriggle out of his grasp by shedding her cardigan. She resumed her attack on the car until he finally managed to wrestle her to the ground and pin her down.Billy panted. That had taken a lot more energy than usual. “Max, cool it!” he shouted, “It’s gonna be alright!” He didn’t know why he said that.She spat up at him and finally gave up, laying her head on the asphalt and crying loudly. Billy was glad no one else was outside.“You took everything from me,” she sobbed, “Everything! I have nothing left. I wish you’d just kill me. Just—ah, fuck!” Her face contorted in pain and she whimpered.Billy let go of her. He was holding her firmly, but didn’t think it was that hard. Maybe she was faking. But she didn’t swipe at him when he let go, she just sat up, clutched her abdomen and exclaimed in exertion again.“Don’t be dramatic,” he said, “I didn’t touch y—““Shut up! I don’t—oh my God, it hurts—fuck.” She groaned and leaned forward with one arm around her stomach and the other hand pressed against her lower back.Billy looked at her, confused, but cautious that this was some kind of trick. If this was a way to get out of a fight, it was a bizarre one. Then, when she got on all fours to try and stand up, he saw it: half of her jean skirt was covered in blood, and there was more coming down her legs, dripping onto the asphalt. His first thought was that she’d gotten her period, but even he knew this was way too much blood to be normal.“What—what the hell is going on?” he asked, frozen in panic. Had he done that? Had Keith and Tommy?“I don’t know,” she said shakily, grabbing the cardigan on the ground and shoving it between her legs as she sat back on her hip. “I have—I have a pad on—it bled through.” She collapsed into the fetal position and made a noise that made the hair on Billy’s neck stand up.She inhaled broken breaths. “Something’s wrong. I need to go to the hospital.”Billy agreed. That was too much blood, and he’d heard those sounds from her before…that was real pain.But the hospital would ask questions. They might even bring the cops in. Billy could blame the injuries on Keith and Tommy but they’d get arrested…he wanted to deal with them himself.Plus, there were older injuries they would spot if they did a full body exam—old bruises, burns, a scar from where he hit her with the buckle side of his belt, once. He guessed he could always just play dumb. She was technically an adult, so the hospital wouldn’t have to call their parents if she didn’t want them to. If the cops showed up, word was bound to make it back to his dad, though…He was startled out of his deliberation by a strangled whimpering sound Max made. She had taken the cardigan out from under her skirt and was looking at the concerning amount of blood on it.“Billy, please,” she begged, “I’m scared.”Billy looked at her. She was shivering and all of the angry flush in her face was gone; it was getting paler by the second. He didn’t have a choice. He bent down and helped her to her feet.He sat her in the passenger’s seat, then got a blanket from the back and shoved it underneath her. She’d done enough damage to the car; he didn’t want her bleeding on the seats, too.He slid into the driver’s seat, started the car, and peeled out of the parking lot in the direction of Hawkins General. He glanced at Max every so often, who looked petrified, and increasingly drowsy.“You really have no clue what’s happening?” he asked.Max swallowed. “I have a theory, but it can’t be…”“What?”“I—the only thing I’ve ever heard cause this much bleeding from there…and the pains…I think it—it might be a miscarriage.”Billy looked at her and back at the road. There was a strange, cold feeling in his stomach. “You’re on the pill.”“I know,” she said quietly, “but I don’t know what else it could be.”They were quiet for the rest of the drive. At one point she nodded off, and Billy panicked.He shook her shoulder. “Max, you gotta stay awake,” he said, “we’re almost there.”“Please, just let me die,” her voice was weak and barely audible, “I can’t do it anymore.”“Stop,” he snapped, “you’re not gonna die.”A tear fell out of Max’s eyes as they fluttered closed. When he jostled her again, they didn’t open.Billy screeched the Camaro to a halt in front of the ER. He put it in park, shut off the engine, and leapt out of the car. Max had been unconscious for about a minute. He opened the passenger’s side door and pulled her into his arms, then ran through the automatic doors and into the waiting room.“Hey!” he shouted, “Help! She’s bleeding out and she won’t wake up!”When Billy would later try to recall details of the minutes that followed, he wouldn’t be able to. It was a blur of medical jargon and white walls—he gathered that she still had a pulse, but that was about the only thing that broke through before they took her away and told him to wait in the waiting area.He found the bathroom before he settled in the waiting area. It took him a while to wash the blood off his hands.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy was nearing the end of his third-to-last cigarette. He’d blown through almost a whole pack waiting for news about Max. He’d have to make a run to the gas station soon at this rate.“Hey, man, you got a light?” A voice from behind him asked. Billy turned around, saw a portly man in a trucker hat approaching him, and held out his lighter.“Thanks,” the man said, and took the lighter. It was becoming very windy outside, and it took him a few attempts to keep it alight. Finally, the cigarette ignited as one meaty hand shielded the flame from the wind, and he took a deep drag with relish. When he handed the lighter back to Billy, he exhaled heavily and shook his head. “Haven’t had one of these in years.”Billy raised his eyebrows, but didn’t respond. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk, but this hick clearly was.The man nodded at him. “You’re young and invincible now, but this shit catches up to you…trust me. Anyway, it’s a special occasion. My brother died. Only family I had left.”Billy tensed up. He didn’t sign up to comfort some grieving stranger.“Shit. Sorry,” he said stiffly.“Don’t be,” the man chuckled bitterly. “Good riddance to bad rubbish, as they say.”There was no happiness in his face as he took another drag of the cigarette, but there was no grief, either—only relief.“He was the kind of person that did whatever he wanted,” the man said, looking out into the parking lot thoughtfully, “Never gave a shit who he hurt. He used people ’til there was nothing left to use. Won’t be a soul sorry he’s gone, I’ll tell you that.”Billy shifted uncomfortably. He had no idea what to say, or if he should say anything at all. It didn’t even seem like he was speaking to him, really. The man sighed and lazily tapped his cigarette, watching the ashes float to the ground.“You know, I don’t think he thought about that until he was dying—people grieving him, I mean. He was always so caught up with what he wanted, y’know, moment to moment. But those last moments, I think all we want is people that care about us. He didn’t have that. just me, with my care used up a long time ago. I could almost see him realize it, at the end. There was this…panic, and pain in his eyes…I pitied him.”Billy was pretty sure this guy didn’t need him for this conversation, but he was inexplicably fascinated, and found himself listening intently. After a few moments of silence the man seemed to remember he wasn’t alone. He glanced at Billy and snuffed.“I know you don’t know me from Adam, kid, but let me give you some advice: don’t live your life in a way that makes people glad you’re dead.”Billy conceded a small nod when the man looked over at him. He nodded back and walked off into the parking lot, puffing clouds of smoke and breath into the chilly, blustery air. Billy watched him go for a while, burning his cigarette to the last few millimeters before flicking the butt on the ground and walking back into the hospital.The trucker’s words rattled around Billy’s head for longer than he felt they should have.When he got back to the waiting room, one of the physician’s assistants that was working with Max’s doctor came up to him.“You’re with Maxine Mayfield, right?” he asked, “Are you the boyfriend?”“I’m her brother.”“Oh. Good.” He looked relieved.“Good?”“Let’s just say, if you were the boyfriend, we would, uh…have some questions.”Billy crossed his arms and frowned at the PA. “What happened to Max?” “You, erm, maybe you want to sit down…”“I’m fine,” Billy said, stone-faced.The PA sighed. He was clearly new, and not quite comfortable with this part of the job yet.“Maxine had a miscarriage,” he said, “with complications, resulting in a hemorrhage. She lost a critical amount of blood, as I think you’re aware,” he gestured to the blood on Billy’s shirt, “and she went into shock. We had to conduct a blood transfusion, as well as a procedure to remove the rest of the pregnancy tissue.” Pregnancy. The word alone gave Billy chills. He looked away from the PA and swallowed hard.“Unfortunately, that’s not all. When examining her, we found a number of contusions on her body. Bruises, mostly, plus some scars and a couple of old burns that look like they’re from cigarettes. Do you have any idea where they would have come from?”Billy frowned at him, feigning surprise. “Cigarette burns?”“Yes. And, well…” he avoided Billy’s eyes.“What?” Billy asked, getting annoyed.“Does Maxine go to parties often?”Billy shrugged. “She’s been busted a few times, yeah.”“Was she at one last night, by chance?”“I don’t know. We played Christian last night, I wasn’t home until late. Why?”“This might be, erm, tough to hear…why don’t we contact your parents?”Billy felt an unfamiliar cold feeling somewhere around his stomach. Did she die? Was she paralyzed? Braindead?“She’s going to be alright,” the PA hastily added, reading the change in Billy’s expression, “but we’ve found something concerning.”Billy exhaled a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. “What?”“We found traces of Rohypnol in her system. It’s often referred to as ‘the date rape drug…’ and she had injuries consistent with recent sexual violence.”Billy knew he’d have to perform somewhat for the doctors and police to stave off suspicion, but anger was one thing he did not have to fake. If anything, he had to tone it down. He stared at the floor, clenching his fists and jaw.“I know it’s upsetting. We’ve contacted the police. Maxine doesn’t seem to have any recollection of what happened, so any information will be helpful.”“She’s awake?”“She was. She’s resting now. I can take you to her room.”Billy followed the PA over to Max’s room and looked in through the doorway. The door stood open, but something kept him from walking in. She was asleep, hooked up to a number of wires and an IV.“Without the transfusion, she would have died from the blood loss,” the PA said, “You saved her life, getting her here. She’s lucky to have you.”Billy didn’t look at him. He just stared at Max, with a disorganized mix of intense emotions pulsing through his body. They were overwhelming, so he just focused on the one he knew well: rage.When he pictured what Keith and Tommy did to her, he felt a fury unlike anything he’d ever felt, and something unfamiliar…something like regret. He knew that Keith and Tommy couldn’t have done what they did if it wasn’t for him, and he was frustrated at himself for not anticipating that something like this could happen. But he blamed them more than he blamed himself.Before the weekend was over, Billy would make sure Keith and Tommy knew exactly what regret felt like.

Eddie overslept in a major way. When he woke up around noon, he decided it was useless to try rushing to classes, but D&D Club was meeting tonight at 4, and he couldn’t miss that.He swerved into the parking lot and parked crookedly before checking his watch. He was early…the dismissal bell wouldn’t ring for another 5 minutes. Maybe he could get to the club room while everyone was still in class—that way he’d avoid Lawler catching him and giving him an earful…again. He shut off the engine and threw open the creaky van door.“Munson!” Eddie flinched and nearly stumbled to the asphalt trying to step down from the high driver’s seat, but caught himself just in time. He thought it might be faculty calling his name, but was relieved to see Steve jogging toward him. Relieved, then confused. Wasn’t he supposed to be in class?“Harrington…fancy meeting you here.”“Yeah, I was just sitting in my car, saw you come in.”“Skipping?”“No, just…thinking, I guess. Listen, can I ask you something?”Eddie frowned. Harrington looked stressed out. This had to be about Max.“Shoot,” he said.“Has Max seemed weird lately? Or like, cagey?”“Hell, yeah, she has. For a while now. Why, what happened?”Steve’s jaw flexed as he looked at the ground. “Long story. But I think she’s in trouble. Rita does, too. We’re trying to figure out what’s going on. Did you know about Max’s panic attacks?”“Panic—what? No…what do you mean? When?”“For a while now, apparently. Rita found her on the floor in the library the other day.”Eddie stared at Steve. A horrible chill crept up his back. “Which other day? Was it Tuesday?”“She didn’t say. Why? What happened Tuesday?”“She said it was nothing, but…I don’t know.” Eddie chewed on his lip, replaying the scene in his head.“What did you see?”Eddie sighed. “I saw Billy and Max in senior hall. It looked like an argument. He was holding her arm really hard, and she looked scared to death. I’ve never seen her like that.”Steve’s face had been frozen in horror since he said Billy’s name. He must be putting together the same grim puzzle as Eddie was.“They—they were arguing? What were they saying?”“I couldn’t hear, but it looked pretty one-sided. She was trying to back away but he yanked her forward, hard. That’s when I stepped in. When they saw me, Billy let go of her and Max tried to cover up that she’d been crying. He told Max, ‘remember what I said,’ and walked off.”Steve had been listening intently, the lines on his face deepening by the second.“I walked her to the library after,” Eddie continued, “and I wonder if that’s when Rita found her. Max said it was nothing, just an argument, and she was overly emotional that day—““Let me guess, she blamed it on her period?”“Yeah. But I don't know, man...she was shaking. Something felt off. Still does."“Tuesday…” Steve said, “wait, we were all together Tuesday after school. Didn’t you have the Dungeons thing?”“Just before 5, I had to run back to my locker to grab something I forgot. That’s when I saw them.”Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion. “We ran into Billy in senior hall. Then he told me Coach was looking for me, so I went to practice early…around 4:20, must’ve been. So were they in the hallway that whole time, arguing?”Eddie crossed his arms, reminded of another incident with Max that stuck with him. Maybe he shouldn’t bring it up…Harrington looked stressed enough.But Steve caught the change in Eddie’s expression. “What?”Eddie sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Okay, this might not be connected, but remember that party at the skatepark, where you asked Max to Homecoming?”Steve nodded. “Billy came and dragged her home that night. But that doesn’t—”“Not finished. Two days after that, Max showed up at my place with this giant bruise on the side of her face, and a bump on the back of her head. She said she skated into a lamp post. I didn’t say anything, but something felt off. Same way it did on Tuesday.”“Jesus Christ,” Steve said hoarsely, and ran both his hands through his hair.He was silent for a moment as he stared angrily at the pavement. “I’m a fucking idiot,” he said, “This whole time…he’s been hurting her this whole time. Who knows what the hell else he’s been doing? What if—” Steve froze, eyes widening like he’d just realized something horrifying. Eddie was afraid to ask.“Don’t, man. Don’t spin out yet. We don’t know anything for sure…We need to be smart about this if we’re gonna help Max.”Steve balled up his fists, looking up and around the parking lot. “Hargrove has some fucking questions to answer, and I’ll be out here waiting for him. Where’d that asshole park?”“Hold on,” Eddie said, trying to think of an approach that wouldn’t get their asses kicked, “We might land Max in an even worse situation if Hargrove knows we’re onto him.”Steve craned his neck, looking for Billy’s car. “No, I’m tired of being level headed. If I’d jumped to conclusions earlier, we wouldn’t be here. Shit, his spot is empty…did he leave?”Eddie looked over. Steve was right, the Camaro wasn’t there. Nothing was there, except for something balled up on the ground…was it an animal?Eddie squinted at it, then walked closer to the space to get a better look.“What?” Steve asked, and followed him.“That’s where Hargrove parks.”“I know,” Steve said, following Eddie’s eye line, “but it—“ Steve stopped in his tracks abruptly, startling Eddie, and startled him once more when he broke into a run toward the mystery object. Eddie followed him.“Oh my God,” Steve said in a choked voice, bending down to pick up the thing, which Eddie now realized was a balled up cardigan. Its original white color barely remained—it was mostly a brownish red…the color of drying blood.Eddie’s stomach sank as he watched Steve pick up the sweater by its sleeve with a shaking hand.“We—we don’t know it’s hers,” Eddie said, his mouth feeling dry.“It’s hers. She was wearing it earlier.”Steve’s face had gone white. He looked over at Eddie, in apparent hope that he would have something else to say that would cast doubt on the conclusion they were both drawing.Eddie’s lips felt cold. He couldn’t say anything.“Do—do you think,” Steve said, “could he—““No way. In—at school?! There’s no—“ the thought made his words catch in Eddie’s throat, “no…holes in it, right?”Steve held it up, examining it with shaking hands. “I don’t see any.”“Okay. Ok that’s good. Right…good. No evidence of foul play yet—”“Except for all the fucking blood!” Steve shouted.It really was a lot of blood…Eddie swayed a little on his feet. He took a deep breath and shifted his gaze to the ground, where he noticed shattered red glass, like that of a tail light. Eddie brought his hands up to his head and paced.“Look,” he said, pointing to the glass, “do you think he hit her with the car or something?”“Fuck…I—I don’t know. Do we call the cops? What do we do?!”“No cops,” Eddie said, “this is all—what do you call it…conjecture. We don’t have any proof. They can’t do anything until we find an actual crime.”Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Plus, Hargrove’s dad is a cop.”The dismissal bell rang out in the distance, startling both of them.Eddie cast a crazed look around the parking lot. “We have to find them,” he said, “we need a plan…split up? No…maybe not…” Eddie was barely aware of what he was saying. His heartbeat was drowning it out. He babbled when he was nervous. And he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this nervous.

Max didn’t remember much between bleeding out in the parking lot and waking up in the hospital bed, but several hours had passed, apparently.According to the ER doctor, she was unresponsive and in shock when she arrived, and Billy had saved her life by getting her here quickly. Great; the arsonist put out the fire he started.The doctor had talked through the details of what happened in cold, technical terms, but each time he said ‘miscarriage’ or ‘pregnancy’ made her increasingly more nauseous, so her mind started to drift.She didn’t know if Billy or Steve had gotten her pregnant—she didn’t even think it was possible on the pill, but the doctor treated her like an idiot for not knowing it wasn’t 100% effective, and could result in pregnancy if she missed even one day. How would she know that? It wasn’t even her choice to be on the pill in the first place. None of this had been her choice.The miscarriage was terrifying, but it was ultimately a relief. She would rather die than carry Billy’s child. Dying actually seemed like a preferable alternative to nearly everything at this point, especially discussing the details of her rape with some condescending male doctor. She brushed off every question surrounding it, claiming she didn’t remember anything. As for the older injuries, she used the usual skateboarding defense, and said the cigarette burns were from a dare. That was a new one.The nurses were nice, but they kept asking if she was sure that she didn’t want to contact her parents. They were mothers themselves, and would want to know if their daughters had gone through something like this. Max didn’t say it, but she doubted they would feel the same if they knew what really happened to her.Billy looked in on her once in a while, but never stayed long. He was astute enough to know that his presence would only make her feel worse and, for once, he seemed to give a shit how she felt. She wondered if nearly being responsible for her death was actually able to knock some guilt into him. She doubted it.Max listened to her heart monitor beep steadily as she read over the note she’d been writing in the few moments of solitude she had. She finally signed her name at the bottom as a tear dropped onto the paper.When she heard a knock on the door, she quickly folded the note, slipped it underneath her and wiped her tears away.The visitors waited a few seconds, but came in despite the lack of an answer. Two police officers walked through the door. Max’s stomach flipped, aggravating her nausea. The soup and toast the nurse had made her eat threatened to come up at any moment.The pair of cops were a short, brunette woman and a tall, mustached man with glasses, both smiling at her politely.“Maxine?” The woman asked.“Yes,” Max said, already annoyed by their body language and tone. They were talking to a delicate young victim, and had to be gentle, lest she break.“I’m Officer Callahan, and this is Bishop,” the man said, “the hospital contacted us—they’re obligated to report suspicious injuries. And according to them, you have quite a few.”Max crossed her arms and looked away. “I didn’t give anyone permission to look me over.”“Considering you would have died if they didn’t…I’d say that’s a win, right?”Max glared at him. He had no idea how wrong he was, and she intended to keep it that way.“I guess,” she shrugged, “But I’m fine now. Sorry you guys wasted a trip.”Callahan and Bishop exchanged a glance. “Maxine, do you remember anything about last night?” Callahan asked, “Were you at a party, or with friends?”Max clenched her jaw, cheeks heating up in anger. The indignities just kept piling up.“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Bishop said, “The date rape drug showed up in your blood tests. It’s commonly used in sexual assault…this happens to women all over the country…the world, in fact. Anything you can remember will help us catch who did this.”Max’s fists tightened around the sleeves of her hospital robe. “I don’t remember anything,” she said.“What about the bruises, and the cigarette burns? The doctors said you told them they were from a ‘dare’? Is that true?”“Why would I lie?” Max snapped, not looking at them.“Maybe you’re trying to protect someone? Your boyfriend, maybe?”“Steve wouldn’t hurt me. It was a stupid dare. Please, just leave me alone.”“Maxine, we want to help you.”“Then leave!” Max snapped. She closed her eyes and shook her head, frustrated with herself. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I don’t want to be rude, but… I—I can’t do this…not today. Can we do this another time?”Callahan looked at Bishop uncertainly. Bishop nodded. “Sure. Have someone take you to the station whenever you’re ready to talk. Okay?”Max nodded, though she didn’t plan on speaking to either of them again. But as she watched them walk away, she realized something that made her stomach drop.“Wait,” she said, “you haven’t told Neil yet, have you?”Callahan and Bishop looked uncomfortably at each other, then at Max.“Please don’t,” Max begged, “I’m an adult. He doesn’t need to know.”“Maxine,” Callahan said, “if it came out that we kept this from him, we’d be out of a job.”“He’s right,” Bishop said, “I’m sorry. It might be hard to talk about, but he’ll be relieved you’re okay. You shouldn’t worry.”Max’s heartbeat rose into her throat as they turned their back on her and exited the room. Neil was probably on his way right now. He wouldn’t give a shit that she had survived a near-death experience; all he would glean from this ordeal was that his slut stepdaughter had gotten herself knocked up and now the whole police department knew. He’d be furious.She couldn’t handle having to speak to Neil. She couldn’t handle coming up with a whole new roster of lies and having to praise Billy as a hero for saving her life. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t think she could handle much of what would happen in her near future.She couldn’t tell anyone the truth, so she’d just have to go about her life like she had been for the last couple of months, pretending nothing was wrong. Except now, she didn’t have Steve—in fact, he probably hated her—and Stacey wouldn’t stop until the whole school knew about that photo. And if people found out about what happened with Keith and Tommy…Max felt her neck start to tighten, and as if she couldn’t feel her own heart thumping against her ribs, the shrill heart monitor beeps sped up along with it. She covered her ears and tried to take deep breaths. It was all too much. She had to get the hell out of here.Running out in her hospital gown would be too conspicuous. Though she didn’t see her clothes anywhere in the room, there were some folded up grey sweats on the chair beside the bed that she didn’t recognize. She guessed her clothes must have been too stained to salvage, so the hospital provided some cheap ones.She examined her arms, trying to determine which of the wires and tubes she could disconnect first before she made a run for it. But just as she reached for the IV, the door swung open again and Billy entered. He shut the door behind him but didn’t approach her bed. Max scowled at him. Coming in to make sure she kept her mouth shut, no doubt.“I didn’t say anything,” Max spat.“I figured, since they just left…”“So what do you want?”“We should talk about what we’ll tell my dad. They definitely would’ve called him by now.”Max closed her eyes in frustration, unable to stop a tear from running down her cheek. “I can’t. Not right now.”Billy’s eyes flitted over to the heart monitor. Between the frequent beeps and the tears, she hoped he’d get the picture that he needed to leave her alone. Miraculously, he seemed to.“Fine,” he sighed, “I’m gonna walk to the gas station down the street for cigarettes. We’ll talk when I get back. Do you want, I don’t know, candy or something?”“No,” she said, turning her head away. She didn’t want anything from him. She didn’t want anything from anyone anymore.Billy shrugged and walked out of the room again.She had to be patient. In a few minutes both Billy and the cops would be gone, and that would be her chance to slip out unnoticed.

Steve’s heart had been beating too fast for too long. He was jumpy and shaky, and was getting short with Eddie, even though he knew he was trying to help. He hoped Eddie could tell that his frustration was really with himself.How could he have been so clueless? How did it get so far that he was driving around convinced that Max had been killed by someone he showered alongside every day?Steve remembered when the guys in P.E. first teased him about Max, just before they became official. When Keith made a crude comment about her, Billy had threatened him. At the time, Steve thought he was being a protective brother, but what if it was something else? Her and Billy had known each other before their parents even met. So in their heads, they weren’t brother and sister; they were just classmates whose parents just happened to get married recently. And now they slept in adjacent bedrooms every night, with parents who were gone pretty often…And if Eddie was right, if Max’s argument with Billy and subsequent panic attack had happened on Tuesday, then it would have happened just after Billy caught Steve and Max kissing…was that what they argued about? Was Billy jealous? Did he want Max for himself?What could he have done to her to make her so afraid?Steve felt sick, but gritted his teeth and tried to stay focused on the road as he sped south towards the hospital. He thought it was probably a waste of time to check there, but they had already gone to Max’s house and found it empty. Steve had despaired, assuming Billy had left town, and it was a lost cause.But luckily, Eddie was more optimistic. He suggested that maybe, this was some kind of accident, and Billy had taken her to the hospital. Steve seriously doubted it, but didn’t have any better ideas, so agreed to drive over there.After what seemed like hours, Steve turned the corner that brought Hawkins General into view. The red cross adorning the white building glowed faintly in the fading light of early evening, and the sparsely populated parking lot stretched out before them. Eddie suddenly flinched violently, startling Steve.“That’s his car! The Camaro! That’s it, isn’t it?!”Steve pulled into the parking lot and looked where Eddie was pointing. He was right.“Holy shit,” Steve said, stomach twisting wildly.He parked in front of the hospital entrance and they both got out of the car and hustled towards the entrance. It was incredibly windy—Steve and Eddie’s hair buffeted their faces as they ran and held their hands up to keep crumbs of dry leaves from flying into their eyes.Eddie stopped suddenly just before they got to the double doors, pushing his hair out of his eyes to stare at something in the distance to his right.“Wait,” he said.“What?!” Steve asked, annoyed.“Is—is that Max?” he asked. Steve spun around and followed Eddie’s eye line. He was looking towards the railroad crossing on the road adjacent to the hospital. The sudden bells and flashing red lights must have drawn his eye, and the barriers were on their way down, signaling an oncoming train, probably an Amtrak. There was no one there, though.“Through the trees, there,” Eddie pointed.Steve had to squint to see her, but partially obscured by the trees and fence lining the hospital parking lot, he could see the wind tossing about the long red hair of a girl in baggy grey clothes. She was standing still, with her back to them—not on the tracks, but far too close to them.Steve sprinted towards the fence and scaled it with an agility he didn’t know he had. He jumped to the ground from the top and stumbled a bit as he ran headlong toward the figure in grey. He couldn’t see the train yet, but the wind carried the sound of its horn. The loud rustling of the trees must have masked his footsteps, because the girl didn’t turn around.Part of him was rushing towards the girl whether or not she was Max. But most of him knew it was her, and why she was there.“Max!” Steve called breathlessly once he was about twenty feet away. She spun around and stared at him, her face frozen in a strange mix of surprise, sadness, and indecision. She cast a look over at the train, which was now visible in the distance and quickly approaching. She stared at it like she was in some kind of trance until Steve grabbed her shoulders and pulled her backwards with some difficulty.She struggled at first, fighting to get back to the track before she went limp and started to cry, making it easier for Steve to drag her a safe distance away from the tracks. Out of breath, he allowed them both to fall to the ground, but didn’t let Max go. He held her fast with her back against him and his arms around her chest and waist as he tried to catch his breath. The train blew past them as they lay there, sending up a flurry of leaves in its wake.Steve laid back, trying to wrap his mind around what just happened. In his arms, Max trembled and sobbed with an anguish that raised the hair along his neck and arms. It was clear that the amount of pain she was in was beyond his understanding, and tears gathered at the corners of his own eyes as he held her.“It’s okay,” he breathed, “it’s gonna be okay. I promise.”It’s what people said when they wanted to comfort someone they loved. But as he lay in the dirt and felt the despair radiating from Max like body heat, he knew that all Max heard were empty words. It broke his heart that it had come to this…he still didn’t know all the facts, and he had no idea how to help her. But he knew everyone had failed her—especially him—and he’d die before he let that happen again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

When Steve, Eddie and Max had arrived at Eddie’s trailer, Max threw up immediately upon getting out of the car. It had happened faster than she could bend over, and she’d gotten vomit on the baggy sweats she was wearing. That, along with how pale she was worried Steve and Eddie. They had wanted to take her back to the hospital, but she refused, saying she just needed to sit down for a while.Eddie had acknowledged the losing battle, loaned her some sweatpants and an Iron Maiden tee, then walked out to the clothesline to find a clean sweatshirt while Max went into his bedroom to change. Steve paced in the Munsons’ living room, periodically casting glances over at the bedroom door.“Give her this,” Eddie said as he came through the front door and flung a sweatshirt at Steve, “It takes a while for the heat to get going in here.” “Thanks,” Steve said, and walked over to the bedroom. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t think to knock before he pushed open the door.“Jesus,” Max said, and turned her back to him reflexively. She was only in her underwear, and covered her chest with the sweatpants in her hands, “don’t you knock?”“I—sorry,” Steve stuttered, but didn’t turn away. He couldn’t. What he saw froze him in place and knocked the air out of his lungs.Max’s back, arms and thighs were covered in bruises of sizes ranging from a dinner plate to a penny. There were older black ones, newer reddish purple ones, and several in the spectrum between. She had her back to him, and was hurriedly putting on the sweatpants and shirt, but it was too late—he’d seen what she was hiding, and she knew it. She sat on the bed and stared at the floor miserably.Steve shut the door behind him and walked up to sit beside her. They sat together in silence for a moment before Steve handed her the new sweatshirt. Max took it without looking at him and shrugged it over her head and arms. Steve glanced at her. Exhausted resignation was written all over her face. She’d given up…she looked like a prisoner waiting for their turn on the gallows. “Max…” Steve whispered, but when he opened his mouth next, nothing came out. Every word he’d ever learned abandoned him when he thought about how much pain she had to be in—and probably had been in for some time—right in front of his stupid face. He didn’t think he had ever seen that many bruises on one person before…there were scars, too, but he didn’t get a good look at them.“I’m—I’m so sorry. How did I miss this? I should’ve been paying better attention…I could’ve—“ “Steve, stop,” Max shook her head, “There was nothing you could’ve done.”Steve’s despondency turned to fury in the split second it took him to remember who did this. “I’ll kill him,” he seethed, “I know it was Billy. Eddie told me what he saw.”The little color that was in Max’s cheeks drained, confirming Steve’s suspicions and instilling a sick dread within him.“What happened when you and Billy were alone in that hallway?” he asked, despite the certainty he felt that he didn’t want to know. Max didn’t answer him, just closed her eyes, like she was trying to disappear.“Tell me. Please.” Max swallowed hard and flexed her jaw. She wanted to come clean—he could see it on her face, along with the deep set pain, fear, and uncertainty. Steve watched her in silence for a few moments before she finally opened her eyes.“He—he wanted to teach me a lesson,” she finally said, “he grabbed me, and—“The words seemed to catch in her throat. Steve felt goosebumps break out along his arms. “What? What did he do?!” “Oh God,” Max said as she stood up and walked quickly to the bedroom door. “I can’t,” she said, and threw open the door.Steve followed her. She strode through the kitchen and was headed for the front door.“Don’t let her leave!” Steve barked at Eddie, who had just spilled his soda on the couch after being startled by the door slamming against the wall.Eddie got up quickly and put himself between the door and Max.“Woah,” he said, holding up his hands, “what’s going on?” Max stopped in front of Eddie. Her lip trembled as she looked between him and Steve.“Just let me go. You don’t want to hear what I have to say any more than I want to say it.”“That’s not true,” Steve said, “We need to know what’s going on so we can help you.”“You can’t!”“Well, I have to fucking try, Max! After what just happened?! I’m not just gonna sit here like a brainless piece of shit. I’ve been doing that for months, apparently, and I’m done. If you won’t tell me, I’ll figure it out myself. I’ll beat it out of Billy—I don’t care.”Eddie crossed his arms and jabbed his thumb at Steve. “What he said.”Max looked between their resolute faces and ran her hands through her hair, making a frustrated noise through her teeth.“I’ve lied so much,” she said, angrily wiping away the tears that had sprung up, “to both of you. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”“Maybe with the truth,” Steve said.“You’ll hate me,” she wept, “And if you don’t hate me, you’ll pity me, or be disgusted by me. I know you’ll try to be nice about it—but I’ll see it in your eyes in the moments you forget to pretend. I can’t take that, Steve. Don’t make me.”“Max, listen to me,” Steve said, taking her gently by the shoulders, “I love you. Eddie loves you. Nothing that asshole did to you is gonna change that.”“It changed me, Steve. I’m not the same girl you dated this summer,” she turned to Eddie, “and I’m not the girl you used to skate with. She’s dead.” “Yeah, of course she is,” Eddie said.Max opened her mouth to speak and closed it, thrown off by the confirmation. Steve frowned at him.“The Eddie you met last year is dead, too,” Eddie shrugged, “So is the Steve you met working at the diner. If something only exists in photos and memories, doesn’t that mean it’s technically dead?” Steve and Max blinked at Eddie, both caught off guard by the abstract thought thrown into the boiling pot of emotion.“I’ll take that as a yes,” he continued, “So that would mean the only person alive is who you are right now. We’re always changing, so we’re always dying. Pretty metal, if you think about it.”Steve narrowed his eyes at Eddie, trying to figure out if what he said was profound, or just strange.“Little on the psychedelic side,” he sighed, turning back to Max, “but he’s got a point. Horrible shit changes people all the time, Max. ‘I love you’ wouldn’t mean anything if it couldn’t survive that.”“Yeah,” Eddie nodded. “I figure that’s why they put ‘for better or worse’ in wedding vows.”Steve snuffed. Eddie was on a roll. “Exactly. Sure, I love the dead Maxes. But only because they’re part of the Max that I love most: this one.”Max’s watery blue eyes searched Steve’s before sobs hunched her shoulders and she brought her forehead to his chest and clutched his shirt. He held her gently, wary of her bruises.“Please, Max,” he said, “I can’t let you deal with this alone anymore. I won’t.”Max’s grip on his shirt tightened as she continued to cry for a little while. She took a few shaky deep breaths, and her hands finally relaxed.She let go of Steve and wiped her eyes and nose with her hands. After a look between him and Eddie, she looked at the floor and nodded softly. Steve sat on the cold, slightly damp ground behind Eddie’s trailer, trying to process everything Max had just said. As she spoke, he’d kept it together for her benefit, but once she was done, he couldn’t do it anymore. He didn’t even remember what lame excuse he gave as he hustled out of the trailer, but he needed a moment to himself—if only to vomit without Max seeing. His imagination had been working overtime trying to figure out what was going on, but, for his own sanity, he hadn’t allowed it to stray into the nightmarish territories that Max had just laid out as her reality. 
I told you my first time was with an ex boyfriend in California. That was a lie.
That was the last sentence she’d spoken before releasing the horrific truth into the air between them. As she explained, the truth clung to the walls like a malevolent spirit, unraveling, multiplying, and crowding the room.Somehow, her own stepbrother taking her virginity by force had only been the beginning of the nightmare. Max had endured two months of escalating physical, sexual and emotional abuse—right under Steve’s nose. Right under the noses of everyone that cared about her.She recounted the horrors with her eyes downcast in miserable humiliation. As she spoke, visceral reactions rose out of her involuntarily; her trauma manifested itself through tears, goosebumps, tremors, and erratic breaths.The amount of shame weighing on Max broke Steve’s heart. She was ashamed of how quickly she’d given up fighting back out of fear. But considering Billy punished her for escaping to Eddie’s so brutally that she had to miss two days of school, giving in was a survivor’s choice, not a coward’s. She was ashamed of lying to loved ones so often, but the truth just wasn’t an option given everything she had to lose. Most of all, she was ashamed of what was done to her body; she’d come to believe it was her fault and that she was ruined, somehow.Home was supposed to be where she felt secure, but Billy turned it into a prison. Her parents were supposed to protect her, but they were oblivious. School was supposed to be her safe place, but on Tuesday, Billy took that away, too.Steve put his head in his hands, clutching his hair in frustration. He almost wished the mystery of what happened Tuesday had remained a mystery. He couldn’t help but wonder what must have gone through Max’s mind as she watched her idiot fucking boyfriend walk away cluelessly and leave her alone in senior hall with the devil. Not only that, but Steve had provoked him by having his hands all over something Billy thought was his. What happened next had been his own fault. All Steve saw when he closed his eyes was what Max’s face must have looked like as Billy dragged her into that bathroom.Later, when Eddie had come along, Max had to lie to him and perform on the spot. So not only did she have to endure what Billy was doing to her, but she had to pretend like everything was fine, too. No wonder she was having panic attacks.
He let me date you, but he never stopped. He liked looking you in the eye knowing he had more access to me than you did. That’s what he thinks a relationship is—possession…control. He’s obsessed with it. But it made him reckless.
Yeah, the bathroom incident had been reckless. The photo, though…that had been downright stupid. Billy had underestimated his classmates, and to be fair, so had Steve. He never imagined that there were people in Hawkins that could do something that evil, but now he could name three. He’d known two of them since elementary school, and was on the basketball team with the other. He shared showers and classes with all three of them. And, at some point today, all three had looked him in the eye knowing they had raped the woman he loved.His skin crawled and his blood boiled underneath it as his mind tortured him with pictures of what had been happening in secret. He could almost hear Max screaming as he thought of how painful it must have been having Billy’s giant dick tear her open for the first time. He saw Keith’s massive body pinning her down, and Tommy laughing his stupid laugh in Max’s face as she begged them to stop. He pictured Max waking up with Billy inside her, punching or whipping her when she resisted, and leaving her bleeding and crying in the dark. Max had never hurt anyone in her life, but she’d been subjected to unimaginable physical and mental anguish, just because these psychopaths couldn’t keep it in their pants. The story of the bloody cardigan on top of everything else was too much, and made Steve’s head swim. The word ‘pregnancy’ was like a stab in the gut. Was it his? Was it Billy’s? There was no way of knowing, and it didn’t really matter, but it had nearly killed her.
When I was bleeding out in Billy’s car, I felt myself slipping away…but I wasn’t afraid; I was relieved. I think panic only sets in when you have some fight left. Mine was gone. Seeing the photo in your hands had been the last straw. That I could just fall asleep and fade into death…I don’t know. It seemed like a kindness.
The part of Steve that wasn’t in denial knew that. Why the hell else would she have been standing near that train track? Hearing her admit it broke his heart, but he knew he would have reached that point far, far before she had. He was in awe of the strength it took to try to maintain a normal life in spite of the constant torment.But it wasn’t just strength. It was something else, too—something much more beautiful. It was something that gave her the courage to let Steve touch her when she’d experienced nothing of sex but violence. It was something that saw her endure the worst of men at home, but still decided to open her heart to trust one. It was something that held on to who she was, with her unshakable kindness, care, and morality despite the world rarely showing the same to her.Steve didn’t really have a word for that trait, because he’d never truly seen it up close before—he guessed not many people had. It was this sort of quiet, formidable hope; a bright light within Max that shone brilliantly despite the darkness around it. The light was dimming, and had very nearly been snuffed out, but Steve was determined to protect what was left with his life.Telling her story had been much more taxing than Max had anticipated, and she was exhausted. Her body seemed to revolt as she aired out one traumatic event after another, like the demon in The Exorcist making Linda Blair thrash and vomit before it could be banished. At times, Max couldn’t get words out as quickly as she wanted because her teeth were chattering or her lungs decided to shrivel briefly. The truth felt like a volatile chemical reacting violently to oxygen exposure.As Max rested her head on Eddie’s shoulder, her nose was irritated from the cheap paper towels she had been using to blow her nose or wipe the snot away, her chest hurt, and she had a dull, thrumming headache that made her skull feel heavy. She didn’t know how long she’d been talking—probably over an hour—but she had finally done it; she’d told them everything. Clearly, the tears weren’t done with her yet, though.Max hadn’t been able to look at Eddie or Steve for more than a second while she was speaking; she was afraid of catching them in an unguarded moment and seeing candid, true feelings of anger or disgust on their faces. It was only when she finally caught them up to present day that she looked up at Steve and saw the pained expression and sickly tint to his face. She didn’t even have time to feel relief before he stood up and walked to the front door.“I’ll be back,” he had said without looking at her, “I just—uh, I need some air.”Max watched, devastated as he opened the door and walked outside. When she looked over at Eddie, he had a similar look as Steve—his brow was knitted together over his faintly red-rimmed eyes and his mouth hung slightly open. But Eddie didn’t leave; he saw Max get upset at Steve’s reaction and moved to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her and rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.Her body was too exhausted to endure any more wracking sobs. Now, the tears just quietly leaked out from under heavy lids.“I told you,” she said hoarsely, “I knew he’d hate me for this.”“Max, there’s no way in hell—”“Did you see his face? He can’t look at me. I just admitted I’ve been lying to him for our entire relationship.”“He’s upset, but it’s not because of you. He just needs a minute.”“How do you know?”“Because…I–I mean, I kind of need one, too, Max!” His words hit a frantic note towards the end, and Max lifted her head to look at him, taken aback. Veins bulged out of Eddie’s tense neck as he took his hand from her shoulder to rub his temples.“Sorry—I didn’t mean…” he sighed in frustration. “What I meant to say was…” Eddie passed a hand over his face, clearly trying to calm himself and make his voice gentle despite his anxiety. He took a deep breath.“What you just told us,” he said after a long, contemplative pause, “it is the worst, most brutal shit I’ve ever heard. Even if those stories came from a stranger, I’d be fucking horrified. I–I don’t know what to say to someone who survived that, except ‘I’m sorry,’ but that doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel. I don’t know how to make it better—or if I even can.”His lip trembled subtly as he ran his hands through his hair. “My head is on fire. I’m feeling way too much, all at once. I feel like my insides have just been pulled out of my ass. I’m confused, I’m furious, I feel fucking stupid…the list goes on. But what is not even close to getting on that list is anger—or anything like that—at you. None of this is your fault.”Max watched him gesticulate and examined his face closely for any signs of a lie. She couldn’t find one.“When we were driving around looking for you,” Eddie continued, “we both felt like absolute asses for missing all the signs—and that was when our working theory was that Billy was just hitting you. Now that we know the truth is worse than we could’ve imagined…it’s—“ Eddie’s voice broke and he looked away quickly. “it’s a lot to take in. But I swear, it isn’t about you. I’m so sorry, Max. No one should have to go through what you did.”As Eddie’s earnest brown eyes settled on Max’s wet blue ones, it finally sank in that this was it: her secret was out in the open. Someone knew…someone knew, and the world hadn’t ended. He hadn’t blamed her, or called her a whore, or a liar. She never dared to hope that she wouldn’t be judged for what she’d done, but as she watched a tear crawl down Eddie’s cheek, something shifted inside her—just slightly, but noticeably. Maybe it was true what they said about a burden shared.“Thank you,” she said quietly. But that didn’t begin to cover how she felt, either.Max and Eddie flinched as the door swung open. Steve walked through, the cold wind having tousled his hair and blown a splotchy red into his cheeks. He turned to Max, and her stomach flipped as he locked eyes with her. He’d been crying, too.Max stood up and tried to read his expression, clutching her elbows nervously. But it was only a couple seconds before he strode toward her and pulled her into a hug. She could feel his hand trembling on the back of her head.“I love you,” he said, “and I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Max.”Max sighed and clutched the back of his shirt, trying to inhale his smell through snot-blocked nostrils.“I love you, and I’m sorry, too.”“You have nothing to be sorry about.”“I lied to you.”“You didn’t have a choice.”“I did. I could have turned you down when you asked to be official. It would’ve been the right thing to do, and would’ve spared you all this bullshit, but I didn’t want to let you go. So I chose to lie, every day.”“Max—“She took a step back from him and wiped her face. “Do you see what I meant now? Do you understand how different I am from the person you thought I was?”Steve closed the distance between them with a determined fire in his eye, and took her face in his hands—not roughly, but not gently, either. Max looked up at him, slightly alarmed.“You’re exactly the person I thought you were,” he insisted, “You’re kind, intelligent, funny, stubborn as hell, beautiful…and tough as nails. I had no idea how tough…but I do now. I can’t wrap my head around what it took to survive what you did.”“I wouldn’t have survived without you,” she said quietly, “you, Eddie and Rita are the only ones that treat me like I matter.”“We’re not going anywhere. And you’ll always matter, even if no one treats you like it.”Max searched his eyes and saw a terrifying amount of truth. He was going to stick around. It delighted her and terrified her at the same time. He was a good person—maybe the best she knew—so he would stick with her whether he wanted to or not. She didn’t want to become this burden that he felt obligated to carry around.“I’m damaged, Steve,” she said, “I’m gonna be fucked up for a long time. You didn’t sign up for that.”“I signed up for you, Max! You can attach whatever damn adjective you want, but I’ll love that version of you, too. Damaged, angry, confused…God forbid, Republican.”Max sputtered out a small laugh. Steve smiled. “I’m gonna be here as long as you want me around.”A tear dropped out of her eye as she leaned forward to embrace him again and closed her eyes. There was a palpable change to her body as the weight on her shoulders finally lifted. She felt like she might float away if she let go of Steve.But the relief was short lived. Max’s eyes snapped open when she heard something she hoped she was imagining. The sound was distant, but sickeningly familiar. She didn’t want to admit what she knew it was at first—lots of people had loud cars—but a cold certainty and terror crept under her skin as the unmistakable growl of Billy’s Camaro grew louder.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Billy didn’t even have to look at the number on the trailer to confirm the address he’d gotten from Max’s address book. He saw both Harrington and Munson’s cars parked out front. This was it: Munson’s shit hole.Max had to be in there. Billy had already gone to Harrington’s house and his mom had answered the door, looking genuinely confused and worried when he asked about Steve and Max. She hadn’t seen either today, apparently. Unless she was a trained actor, she’d been telling the truth.But Billy had made a stop between the hospital and Harrington’s. After realizing Max had run away, he was too angry to think straight. He couldn’t exactly take it out on the doctors, but he knew there were two people who he could and should direct his wrath towards: Tommy and Keith.He drove to Tommy’s, and as luck would have it, both of his targets had conveniently been in Tommy’s open garage, working out and listening to music. When he saw them, he saw red. He hadn’t even shut off his car engine before getting out and walking toward them. The last thing he remembered clearly was the frightened look in their eyes. Then it had been a blur of loud voices, fists and blood.Keith was an aggressive and powerful giant, but he was slow, and Tommy was a coward. Billy was quick, bold, and fucking furious. He’d dispatched them both with some difficulty; he’d taken a few hits and caught one of Keith’s massive fists to the ribs, which he’d barely noticed in the adrenaline-fueled moment, but he realized now it was probably cracked. It hurt like hell, but he knew those two idiots were hurt a lot worse.Billy had been so focused on surviving a 2 vs. 1 fight that he didn’t realize he’d lost control until it was over and both Keith and Tommy were lying motionless on the ground. Tommy looked like he was still breathing, maybe. But Keith…he’d gotten the brunt of Billy’s rage. Billy had kept pummeling the linebacker even after he went limp. While his fists were flying, all he could see were two images on a loop: the moment after P.E. when Keith and Tommy had exchanged a glance after Harrington said Max wasn’t going to the game, and Max later that night, lip and chin smeared with blood as she wept on the floor next to her own vomit.Billy was always angry; he guessed that’s just who he was at this point. He was a pile of dry wood, leaves and gasoline, and someone had just thrown several lit matches at him. He was raging at everything: at Max for running away, at the hospital for letting her go, at the cops for calling his dad, at Keith and Tommy, and—though he tried to bury it under everything else—at himself, for setting all of this in motion with a stupid mistake. He had unleashed all of that rage on Keith and Tommy, and it had killed at least one of them.Billy didn’t even know if anyone else had been home with those two. The garage door had been wide open as they fought, and they weren’t exactly quiet, so a neighbor or someone must have called the police by now. He was racing against a clock he couldn’t see.He gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles a mix of dark red on white as he parked behind the blood red BMW. He had to get Max and get the hell out of Hawkins—tonight.Max was rooted to the ground in fear as Eddie and Steve looked for something to defend themselves with. Billy would be livid, and he wouldn’t think twice about beating the shit out of both of her companions. Eddie seemed appropriately frightened, but Steve was unshaken, and furious.“Are you sure your uncle doesn’t have a gun?” Steve asked Eddie.“My people are hippies, man!” Eddie groaned, rifling through the coat closet.Max was grateful for that. She hoped to de-escalate this situation, somehow…a gun would just rile everyone up. Steve spotted a baseball bat leaning against the wall and grabbed it.“Steve, don’t!” Max begged as he made for the front door, “He’ll kill you—both of you.”“Not if I kill him first.” Steve said. Max had never seen him this angry. She was afraid. Rage made you reckless. Billy was an experienced fighter, and he fought dirty; they couldn’t afford any mistakes.Max looked over at Eddie, who had started rummaging around the kitchen. Her guts twisted as he picked up a steak knife and frowned uncertainly at it.“Jesus Christ,” she snapped, “put that down! You don’t get it—he’s dangerous. If something happens to you I’ll never forgive myself.”“Yeah?” Steve turned to Max, “well, likewise.”Max’s pleading eyes stared into Steve’s resolute ones for a moment. She flinched as she heard a car door shut outside. Her heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of her ribcage.“Just let me talk to him,” she begged, “Please.”“I’m not letting you go out there alone.”Max knew it was a losing battle. “Alright, just…hang back. Whatever you do, don’t swing first. Please.”She pushed open the front door and walked down the stairs. The light from the trailer’s windows and the floodlight outside illuminated the area between them and Billy, who leaned against the front of the Camaro with its vandalized headlight.He barely acknowledged the three of them, just lit a cigarette. As he shielded the lighter from the wind, Max registered blood on his knuckles, nose, and the side of his face.“What the hell happened?” she asked.Billy narrowed his eyes at her. “I was about to ask you the same thing. These two chuckleheads break you out?” His eyes flashed dangerously at Steve and Eddie, who scowled at him.“Where did all that blood come from?” Max pressed.Billy took a drag of the cigarette. “Paid a visit to Keith and Tommy.”Max’s stomach dropped. “Billy, what did you do?”Billy paused for an excruciating few seconds before exhaling smoke through his nose. “They had to pay for what they did.”Max couldn’t speak. She didn’t want to ask the questions she had. Some part of her already knew that the answers would be worse than she could bear.“What about what you did, you piece of shit?” Steve snarled, stepping in front of Max. “Plan on paying for that?”“She told us everything,” Eddie said through clenched teeth.Billy chuckled. “Everything? I doubt that.”“Beatings, rape, sadistic fucking mind games?” Steve spat, “Ring a bell?”Billy smiled at Max and cocked his head. “Rape…that what she told you?”Max froze, suddenly feeling like she might vomit again. She knew what that smile meant. He held a card that she hadn’t revealed to Eddie and Steve; a dark secret that he knew she’d want to keep to herself forever.“She tell you she got off on it?” Billy asked, “Every time?”“Shut your fucking mouth, Hargrove,” Steve snarled.Billy ignored him and smirked at Max. She could feel blood rushing to her cheeks.“She came multiple times, usually,” he said, “What did we count last time, five? Bet you didn’t tell them that part. Or the part where you screamed my—”“Stop!” Max screamed, shaking with a volatile mix of rage, fear and humiliation, “You forced me, and you know it.”“Bullshit.”“Bullshit?! You beat the shit out of me for resisting. You cuffed me, knocked me out, shoved my face into the pillow when I’d beg you to stop—”“All of that gets you hot, apparently. You can deny it all you want but you’re blushing for a reason—I have a hold on you. I made you admit it because you never would, but it’s true: you’re mine. Mine. Not his. You only got to fuck her because I let you, Harrington.”Steve took a few steps forward and Max grabbed his jacket from behind, trying to hold him back.“She’s not some thing to loan out, asshole,” Steve said, shaking with rage, “She’s a human being.”Billy scoffed. “Get in the car, Max. We don’t have much time.”Max frowned at him. Time? Billy didn’t elaborate, just looked at her seriously and took another drag of his cigarette. Max put the pieces together and felt dread bloom in her already terrified chest.“Did—did you kill them?” she asked quietly. The silence hung in the cold air for a few seconds before Billy answered.“Tommy’s alive, I think. Keith…I don’t know.”“Jesus Christ,” Eddie murmured. He and Steve stared in disbelief at Billy, like he was about to say ‘just kidding!’ But Max knew better—she knew when he was lying…this wasn’t that.“Oh my God,” Max said, swaying on her feet and clutching Steve’s back to stay upright. Her stomach churned with cold nausea and she felt lightheaded. Billy had killed someone. She always suspected he might be capable of it, but she never imagined he would, or that she would be the reason behind it. And now she knew why he was in a hurry—he wanted to run, and he wanted her with him.“Get in the car,” Billy repeated.Max opened her mouth to speak, but horror had too tight a grip on her throat. She looked into Billy’s angry eyes and saw a firm intent that scared the hell out of her. He wouldn’t stop at anything to get her in that car.“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m gonna let that happen.” Steve said, brandishing the bat and pushing Max further behind him. Eddie moved forward too, flanking Billy. Max’s heart rose into her throat when she saw light glint off something in Eddie’s hand, and realized he was still holding that stupid knife. She could envision a hundred ways that could go wrong.“Please,” Max said, “please, just leave, Billy. We won’t tell anyone, I–I swear…just—just go.”Billy walked up to them slowly, exhaling smoke, and flicked away his cigarette.Steve wielded the bat and took a step forward despite Max clutching at his jacket. “The only reason I haven’t swung this yet is because Max begged me not to. But trust me—it’s all I’m thinking about. Give me an excuse.”Billy smiled at him and ran his tongue over his top teeth. Max had seen that look before; he was taunting Steve. He already knew how this was going to turn out. But he suddenly changed his path to walk toward Eddie, who was standing maybe four paces away from Steve and Max. Billy chuckled at the knife in Eddie’s hand.“The hell you plan on doing with that, Munson?”Eddie tensed up and backed up into a defensive stance. Max knew he was scared to death, but he had a solid poker face, at least.“Won’t have to do anything if you just turn around and leave, man,” he said.Billy snuffed. He turned his face back towards Max and smiled.The next few seconds were a blur. Billy knew Eddie would have his guard down because he’d turned away, so he took advantage. Quicker than anyone could flinch, he brought his boot up into Eddie’s crotch, then quickly followed it up by kicking the knife out of his slackened hand and punching him in the face. Eddie hit the ground and Billy snatched the knife out of the dirt.“Billy!” Max screamed, terrified that he would stab Eddie. She ran past Steve, who tried to stop her but she wriggled out of his grasp to throw herself on the ground over Eddie. Steve was close behind and put himself between Max and Billy.Max lightly smacked Eddie’s face a few times—he was just unconscious, not dead. But now, Billy had his sights set on Steve.“Billy please,” Max held up a hand, “please put the knife down. I’ll—I’ll go with you—just please don’t hurt anyone else.”“No, she’s not going anywhere with you,” Steve said, “Put the fucking knife down, and leave.”Billy laughed a humorless, mocking laugh. “I know why you’re mad, Harrington,” he said, “because you know I’m not lying. You know she loves it when I fuck her.”“I know what you’re doing, asshole,” Steve said, “It’s not gonna work.”But Max could see the color rising in his neck. It was working a little.Billy noticed it, too. “Speaking of assholes…haven’t been in Max’s yet, have you? No, you’re too much of a pussy to make her take it up there.”“Shut the fuck up,” Steve seethed. “I’ll admit, she didn’t love that one. Ass, throat, cunt…shot my load in all three that night. Tore her up so bad she couldn’t even walk. I had to carry her into the shower.”Steve tightened his grip on the bat, even though his knuckles were already white.Max clenched her teeth. Knowing Steve was picturing it as he spoke brought a cold sweat out of her neck. “That’s enough, Billy,” she snapped, unsure if her heartbeat had ever been this fast, “Just go!”Billy kept his gaze on Steve. “She tell you about Tuesday?”Max saw Steve’s jaw flex. The veins in his neck popped out underneath red skin.“She tell you what happened seconds after you walked away? What those lips of hers did right after they were on yours? How I bent her ov—”That did it: Steve swung the bat hard at Billy, who was anticipating it. He dodged the swing and stabbed Steve in the thigh.“No! Stop it!” Max screamed, scrambling to her feet.Steve cried out as Billy yanked the knife out of his leg, which nearly buckled, but instead of falling, he put some force behind the backswing and hit Billy in the ribs.Max didn’t see a way to stop the fighting from the front with the swinging bat and knife, so she edged around them, trying to get to where Billy couldn’t see her. She had to get that knife out of his hands.Billy grunted and recoiled from the rib hit, giving Steve just enough time to land a right hook on his jaw. Billy staggered backwards but recovered quickly, lashing out with another savage swing of the knife at Steve, which clipped the edge of his hand. Billy followed up with another swipe, and Steve jumped backwards, narrowly avoiding the blade again. But Billy took advantage of the desperate dodge and kicked Steve squarely in the chest, knocking him to the ground.Billy spat blood and advanced on him. “Still don’t know how to plant your feet.”“Get away from him!” Max cried, grabbing a fistful of Billy’s hair from behind with her left hand and his knife-wielding hand with the right. She yanked him backwards and dug her nails into his hand, trying to pry open his fist.Billy grunted through his teeth in pain before elbowing Max hard in the ribs. She held onto his arm, trying to pull him away but he spun her around and pulled her back to his chest, trapping her with the knife to her throat. She thrashed before she realized it was there, and the blade nicked her neck. She felt a drop of blood race down her to her chest as the cool air stung the cut.Max closed her eyes and swore quietly. They’d done exactly what he wanted them to.Steve got back to his feet, cringing in pain when putting weight on his leg. He froze when he saw the knife against Max’s neck.“I’m sorry,” she said.Billy smirked. Max apologized because she knew they both had been outmatched. She and Harrington had made stupid mistakes, and fallen for every trap he set. He had them right where he wanted them.“Put the bat down,” Billy ordered.Steve glowered at him. Billy emphasized his words by pressing the knife against Max’s neck. He felt her breath quicken under the arm holding her.Steve tossed the bat aside.“Good,” Billy said, “now go inside. You take one step in our direction and she’s dead.”Billy jerked the knife even closer to Max’s throat, drawing blood again and a whimper from Max as she hyperventilated.“Stop!” Steve shouted, “Alright!”Steve started to back up towards the trailer slowly as Billy moved towards Eddie’s van, keeping the knife to Max’s neck. He had to make sure they couldn’t follow him. He stopped near the front wheel, then bent down and stabbed the tire, making Max flinch and letting the air out with a hiss. He dragged Max towards Steve’s car and did the same there, plus the back wheel for good measure.Steve stared at Billy, radiating hatred.Billy stared back. “Go. Inside,” he repeated, “and shut the door.”Steve looked at Max, frustrated helplessness written all over his face.“It’s okay,” she said, a falling tear undermining her words, “It’s not your fault. I’ll be okay.”“I’m sorry, Max,” Steve said, “I’ll find you. I swear to God.”Billy rolled his eyes. Always with the dramatics. “Go!” he barked.Steve finally obeyed. He went into the trailer and shut the door behind him. He was probably running to the phone to call the cops, but Billy didn’t give a shit. What difference would a few more cops on his tail make? He hoped to be out of town within the hour.“Billy, please let me go,” Max begged as he dragged her to the Camaro.No, he wouldn’t let her go. She was his. He was about to start a new life, and he needed her with him. They would stop at the house to pack, but Max and his car were the only things he really needed. And he knew, deep down, she wanted him too; he’d seen proof of that the other night. She’d hate him at first— she’d basically be a prisoner…but he would bring her around eventually. He knew how to break her defenses now.He pocketed the knife so he had both hands free and tried to open the passenger’s side door, but Max thrashed violently, temporarily escaping his grasp. She tried to make a run for it, but only got a few steps away before Billy grabbed her by her hair and yanked her back into his arms. He felt her take in a deep breath and quickly covered her mouth when she tried to scream.“Try to scream again and I’m going after Harrington and finishing the job.”Max wept and shook her head. He took his hand away and she didn’t scream, but she kept struggling.“Quit it,” he hissed, grimacing as the struggle strained his injured rib, “you’re coming with me. Just deal with it. You said it yourself, you’ll be okay.”“Billy, I have to finish school. I’m going to college. I can’t run away with you.”Too bad. Billy had wanted to finish school, too, but now he had to do something else, because of what he did for Max. Most women would die to have a man that would literally kill someone who hurt them.“I had plans, too, Max. Plans change.”“No! Get off me!”He ignored her and she started thrashing even harder when he pulled open the passenger’s side door.“I’m not going with you! You’ll have to kill me!”“Fucking cool it, or you’re going in the trunk.”“Billy, please! Just leave me alone!”When he tried to push her into the car she resisted and managed to get an arm free to rake her nails across his face. That pissed him off, and he could see she knew that by the flash of fear in her eyes.He saw red, like he did earlier with Keith and Tommy—but much more briefly this time. With one swift movement he slammed Max’s head into the side of the car, knocking her out immediately. She went limp in his arms and he pushed her into the passenger’s seat.For good measure, he took out the jumper cables from the glove box and tied Max’s arms behind her back. He didn’t need her trying to jump out while the car was moving or grabbing the steering wheel when she woke up. He secured her in place with the seatbelt and closed the door, taking one last glance over at the trailer before sliding into the front seat, starting the car and peeling out of the trailer park.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Max’s return to consciousness was slow and gradual. The last thing she remembered clearly was the livid expression on Billy’s face, where her nails had drawn blood. She vaguely remembered the sensation of being carried at some point after that, and now she was lying down. When she tried to open her eyes she was met with a blinding light, so she quickly shut them again and tried to determine where she could be. There was fabric underneath her face that felt and smelled familiar…but her mind was too fuzzy to place it. The right side of her head throbbed mercilessly, and a large part of her just wanted to keep resting and succumb to unconsciousness again. But when she tried to move her hands and realized they were tied behind her back, she opened her eyes again in alarm and squinted against the light.After a few seconds she recognized the familiar fabric as Billy’s sheets, and the light as the lamp on his bedside table—had it always been that bright? She was lying on her side in his bed, and Billy was across the room, haphazardly throwing clothes from his closet into an open duffel bag. He was done trying to convince her…he’d toss her in the car like another piece of luggage and take her wherever he planned to run. Max watched him, trying to think around the crushing headache to find a way out of this situation. She couldn’t fight him, and she wouldn’t get very far running…so she’d have to reason with him, appeal to him. Usually, she would abandon that idea as impossible—Billy never cared how she felt, why would he start now? But something gave her a sliver of hope: earlier, when he was driving her to the hospital, she saw something in his eyes that made her believe he might have finally seen what he’d done to her. Granted, she was bleeding out, so she could have been delusional, but it was worth a shot. “Billy…” Max croaked as incoming tears tickled her sinuses and intensified her headache. Billy looked back at her. “Don’t start, Max. Just relax—or better yet, get up and start walking to the car. Save me a trip.” He pulled her to her feet and the ground seemed to shift. She leaned against his dresser for support. She was definitely concussed. “Billy—““We’re leaving soon,” he bent down to zip the duffel, “I’ll get ice for your head.”“Wait, I need you to tell me something.” “We’ll talk in the car,” he said, brushing past her and into the hallway.“No!” she shouted, following him unsteadily, “This is important! Look at me!” “Jesus Christ,” he tossed the duffel on the ground next to Max’s, which was already in the hallway, “what?!”Max looked at him miserably and wiped a tear away with her shoulder.“When I passed out in the car on the way to the hospital, did you think I was dead? Or dying?”Billy’s face initially twisted in angry confusion at the question, but he relented in frustration. He knew she was intent at getting an answer. “I don’t know,” he said, exasperated, ”it was a lot of blood. I don’t know.” “How did you feel? Were you scared? Sad? Guilty?” He rolled his eyes. “Max—”“Just tell me!” she screamed, her volume startling even herself as she tried and failed to suppress a sob, “You watched me bleed out! Did you feel anything?!”“Alright, Jesus! Yeah, I was scared that you might die, alright?” Max stared at him, taking in jagged breaths through her panic and tears. His ocean blue eyes stared back at her, half-crazed with anger, urgency, and a dash of surprised confusion…but no deception.Billy stared back at Max, annoyed and baffled by the hysterics and the way she was staring at him—in that strange, penetrating way she stared sometimes, like she was trying to read some tiny print etched on his pupils. What the hell was the point of this conversation? Obviously he’d been scared. Why make him admit it? Was she trying to make him feel weak, or something?“What does that have to do with anything right now?” he snapped.Max held his gaze. Her chest jumped with her breath as she tried to calm down.“Do you want to know where I went when I left the hospital?” she asked quietly.“Munson and Harrington broke you out.”Max shook her head, letting loose another couple tears. “No. I had no idea they were there. I don’t even know how they saw me, really…but I wouldn’t be alive right now if they hadn’t.”Billy frowned at her. Part of him thought she was making shit up to stall for some reason, but something in her face, which twisted in a mixture of pain and shame, said otherwise. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked.“There’s a piece of paper in my pocket,” she said, “take it.” Billy strode up to her and dug around roughly in the pocket of her oversized sweatpants. “We don’t have time for this shit,” he said before taking out a folded piece of paper that looked like it had been torn from a legal pad. “Read it,” Max said, her voice husky with suppressed emotion.Billy unfolded the long yellow paper and saw the page entirely filled with Max’s thin, neat handwriting. His immediate reaction was annoyance; it was way too much to read right now. But as soon as he started skimming and realized it was divided into sections, each addressed to a different person, his stomach dropped with the realization of what he was reading. His eyes snapped to his own name.

Billy, the things you’ve done have made my life unlivable. I hope you answer for them—and I say that not out of spite or a desire for revenge, but out of the genuine belief that you could change, if you wanted.

There is something in you that wants to love. I’ve seen glimpses of it; it slips out from time to time when you’re not focused on hiding it, and it’s beautiful, Billy. You hide it because you’ve been told vulnerability is weakness, but that’s a lie told by cowards afraid of the truth.

Despite everything, I know my death will hurt you, and I’m sorry to add more pain to what you already carry. I know it was hard to grow up fearing the person meant to protect you, and to think you weren’t worthy of love unless you fit a certain mold. Your pain is real, and it isn’t your fault. But my pain is real, too, and you’re responsible for that.

If spirits exist, mine will haunt you forever, and I hope it forces you to rethink the path you’re on. You can’t control your past but you do control your choices now. Learn from this, or you’ll ruin yourself and others like you ruined me.

Billy’s eyebrows twitched as he continued to stare at the letter, struggling to grasp the reality that he held Max’s suicide note in his hands. He didn’t think he’d ever felt something like what he was feeling; it was like an icy hand had gathered his guts and twisted.“I wrote it in the hospital,” Max said softly, “My plan was to escape, then walk home and take all of my mom’s pills. But I only got as far as the end of the parking lot before I realized it still hurt too much to walk, and I wouldn’t make it. Then I saw the train tracks. I’ve seen the Amtrak go by there before…it’s fast. It would be quick. I was maybe a foot from the track when Steve pulled me away.”Billy closed his eyes, feeling sick. He didn’t want to hear this. He knew Max was unhappy, but she was so tough that he had never really considered this as a possibility. She seemed to be coping fine, and at worst he figured he’d go the way of her mom and get dependent on booze or pills…but this? It didn’t make sense. She had seen how good they were together when they tried. The sex had been incredible that night, and he didn’t hurt her. Wasn’t that enough? And couldn’t she see that getting her away from Harrington did her a favor? After what happened in the trailer park, clearly he couldn’t protect her, so what use was he? Why couldn’t she just man up and get through it? At the end of the day, it was for her own good.Some part of him cringed at what he had just thought: Man up and get through it, For your own good…those were his dad’s words, not his. Part of him railed against what Max wrote about his dad, and insisted women just didn’t understand what men had to do. But another part of him knew that she had seen right through him. Billy didn’t want to be like his dad—he never had. Max was right…as a kid he had tried to earn Neil’s love by acting like him and pretending to like the things he liked. At some point, he’d given up on that since asking Neil to show love was like asking a dog to do your taxes, but the damage had already been done; his dad’s worst qualities were part of him, now.“I can’t do this anymore, Billy,” Max wept, “I can’t sleep without those awful fucking pills, I’m having panic attacks, I’m in so much pain, all the time…”“Why would you want to stay here, then?” Billy snapped, unable to meet her eyes, “It’ll get worse; the whole school knows about that photo now. They’ll all blame you for Keith and Tommy when I’m gone. And now Steve knows the truth, too.”Max sniffled and held his gaze defiantly. “You might be right; I might never recover from what you did to me. But I deserve to try.” Then, Billy did something he wished he didn’t: he took a good look at Max. She was unsteady on her feet and her eyes weren’t as blue as they usually were because her pupils were dilated—she probably had a concussion. A discolored knot had sprung up quickly near her right temple where her head hit the side of the car, and her neck was smeared with her own blood beneath two small cuts. He was lucky that blow to the head hadn’t killed her…and if she had thrashed at just a slightly different angle, that knife would’ve hit an artery. Her eyes and nose were red from crying, her trembling lip was split from Keith and Tommy’s assault, her hair was a mess from the struggle to get her here, and he knew she was bruised to hell under those baggy sweats. He’d broken her, like his dad had broken him…worse, maybe. How was it that the only sentiment in that letter wasn’t ‘I hate you, and I hope you die slowly?’ She had apologized for causing him pain, when she had been in enough pain herself to plan her own death.Billy realized in that moment that Max was the first person in his life to even entertain the possibility that he might be in pain—including himself. He had ignored it for so long, covered it up and wrote it off as weakness he had to overcome. But it never went away; it only made him more and more ruthless in his pursuit of pain’s opposite: pleasure—at any cost. Of course Max had noticed that…she was the cost.Now he understood why he couldn’t let her go…she saw him. She was the only one that knew what he’d been through, and clearly, she understood it in a way he didn’t. And as much as it baffled him, she had hope he could change, despite everything he’d done. For the first time he realized that the thought of life without her honestly scared him. But so did the thought of her trying something like this again when no one was around to stop her. Billy ground his teeth. Was he really going to let Max go? After all this? Run away back to California alone…? He looked hard into Max’s eyes. He’d seen a lot in those eyes…fear, pain, anger, lust, but never happiness. Never love. “I want you with me, Max,” he said. There was a flicker of something like recognition in her eyes, and Billy thought that, maybe, she’d seen that beautiful thing she wrote about, the thing that wanted to love. “I know,” she whispered as a couple of fat tears rolled down to her lips. Billy felt the subtle sting of tears for the first time in a long time. He became good at biting them back from enduring his father, but he wondered what would happen if he let them go, just this once…Almost as if his father had been summoned by the thought alone, headlights flashed in the front window, followed by the sound of tires on their driveway. Billy felt an old feeling, like he had missed a step going down the stairs. It was a sensation he often had when he knew he was in trouble with his dad, and his body warned of incoming pain. He wondered briefly if this was how Max felt when she knew he was approaching. He couldn’t do this—he couldn’t feel her feelings and his. Not now. His brain felt like it was short-circuiting, and he was rooted in place. When he heard the sound of two car doors closing, he stuffed the note in his pocket, glanced at the door, then at Max, whose eyes were wide in fear. It was too late to get away clean…he’d have to fight his way out, now.Neil burst through the door, closely followed by a tearful and harried Susan.“Max?!” Susan sighed in heavy relief as she ran to her daughter and pulled her into her arms, “Sweetheart, oh my God…I thought—we went to the hospital…but they said—” she froze, noticing Max’s hands behind her back, “wha–what is this? Why are your hands tied?” Neil slammed the door and stared at Billy. His nostrils were flared and that vein in his forehead was already popping out. He was furious.“Let me fill you two in on our last few hours,” Neil said in an artificially casual tone, “I get pulled out of a meeting for an ‘urgent call,’ and it’s Callahan, saying Maxine is in the hospital, covered in mysterious bruises and hemorrhaging from a…miscarriage?” He shot a disgusted glance at Max, who glared at him hatefully. “So I pick up Susan,” he continued, “we drive two hours to the hospital just to find out you stole away in secret, like some kind of criminal? I called the precinct to see if anyone picked you up, and not only do I now look like a fucking idiot with no idea what’s going on with my own kids—they tell me that they’re looking for you, too, Billy. Two high school kids were found unresponsive in the Hagans’ garage, and a neighbor saw your car drive away.” As he spoke, his voice gradually rose and the shade of pink in his face and neck grew deeper and deeper.“Now, we get here,” he jabbed a finger at Billy, “you’re covered in blood, and your sister is tied up, in someone else’s clothes and looking like she’s been in a fight?! Either of you plan to tell us what the fuck is going on?” His eyes looked like they might pop out of his head as he looked back and forth between Billy and Max expectantly. The jumper cables clattered to the floor as Susan managed to undo the knot, releasing Max. Max flexed her wrists and rubbed them, looking nervously at Billy. Susan held Max to her chest like she knew somehow that he was trying to take her daughter away from her. The two pale, wide-eyed redheads stared at the men in trepidation. Billy hadn’t realized until now how similar Max and Susan’s faces actually were. He locked eyes with Max. He couldn’t shake the feeling that it might be the last time he would. Max’s lip started trembling again as she looked at Billy. She could hear her mother’s heartbeat; it was fast, but not as fast as her own. Maybe it was the concussion, but it felt like everything was happening faster than she could keep up. “Don’t look at her!” Neil roared, “Look at me, and start talking!” “Are they dead?” Billy asked.“I’m the one asking the questions here!” Neil shouted, his mustache catching some flying spit as he advanced on Billy. “What do you want me to say, dad? I did it—arrest me? Do you even give a shit why I did it, or what happened to Max?”“So you did do it,” Neil seethed, a concerning mix of fury and revulsion on his face. He paused for a moment, clenching his fists and staring at the floor like he was trying to process this new reality. “Your entire life I’ve tried to teach you that actions have consequences, but you clearly didn’t learn. Neither did you, Maxine. Now the entire department knows I have a violent criminal and a whore living in my house.” Max stared daggers at him, her entire body tensing up at the word. Susan made a small distressed noise, but didn’t retort. “She almost died,” Billy snarled. “Like I said, a consequence. One that would’ve been avoided if she kept her legs closed.” “Fuck you!” Max shrieked, pushing her mom away as she stepped toward Neil, shaking in anger. She didn’t care what Neil would do to her anymore. His son had prepared her for pretty much anything.“Maxine!” Susan hissed, trying to pull her back by her arm. Max yanked it away and walked up to Neil. “There it is, language to match a gutter slut,” he said, and pushed her away dismissively, disrupting her already unstable equilibrium. Max stumbled and grabbed a floor lamp to stay upright. “That’s what you raised, Susan. And I raised you,” Neil spat, turning back to scowl at Billy. Hearing Neil reflect her own worst thoughts back at her as his actual opinions made something in Max snap. The dismissal had been so casual—to him, getting pregnant made her a whore that had brought all this on herself, and deserved to die. Neil didn’t see her as a daughter, a threat…not even as a person. She would make him regret that. In a flash of rage, Max grabbed the floor lamp she’d been leaning on, raised it and brought it down as hard as she could between Neil’s neck and shoulder. He howled in pain as the lampshade went flying and sparks spat out from the light bulb socket. The socket hung on by a wire as she swung again wildly and hit him in the side. Max reared back for another hit despite her mother’s shrieks of protest, but her dizziness slowed her down. Neil caught the post and punched her in the face. He’d punched her in the same spot Billy had hit her head against the car, and stars exploded in her vision before she blacked out briefly. When she came to a second later, she was on the ground, looking up at Neil’s livid face staring down at her. He raised his foot like he was about to kick her, but Billy’s arm wrapped around his throat as he trapped his father in a headlock.“Don’t fucking touch her,” Billy growled, and shoved him hard over towards the front door, putting some distance and himself between Neil and Max. Neil laughed a laugh that made Max’s blood run cold. She had heard that same laugh earlier tonight from Billy’s throat just before he’d stabbed Steve. Max flinched as Susan’s frantic hands grabbed her and dragged her further away from the conflict. She wrapped her arms around Max as they both watched, terrified of how the violence would unfold. Neil shook his head and looked at Billy with a furious, almost crazed look in his eye. “I tried with you, Billy,” he said, “Tried to raise you to be a strong, disciplined young man. What else did I need to do? Did I let you go too long without a beating?” Neil unbuckled his belt, ripped it out of its loops and brandished it. “Is that it?”To Max’s surprise, Billy seemed to be the calmer one in this situation. He glared at his father, clearly angry, but Max thought she saw a flicker of the scared young boy in his eyes, faced with the belt again after crying when he skinned his knee, or not playing a perfect game of baseball, or admitting he missed his mom. But he wasn’t a defenseless little boy anymore. “I’m leaving, dad,” Billy said, “just let me go. No one has to get hurt.” Neil chuckled mirthlessly. “Someone has to get hurt, Billy.”“Neil—“ Susan whined.“Shut the fuck up, Susan!” Neil shouted, not taking his eyes off Billy, “He’s a criminal, and he’ll answer for that in a court of law. But first, he’s going to pay for being an ungrateful piece of shit who ruined my good name.”Neil lashed out with the belt and whipped Billy with the buckle side. It stung the arm Billy had raised defensively, and he recoiled but as Neil reared back again, Billy ran at him, grabbed his arm and tried to wrench the belt out of his grasp. Neil punched him in the side and Billy yelled through his teeth. Max saw him holding that side earlier—he must’ve gotten injured there in one of the earlier fights. Neil seemed to have the upper hand for a few seconds as he drove Billy back against the wall, but Billy regained the advantage and managed to twist Neil’s arm around his back and yank the belt away from him. But instead of hitting him with it, Billy wrapped the belt around Neil’s throat and pulled hard to cut off his airway. Neil tried to pry the belt from his neck, and when it didn’t work, he resumed struggling and trying to land blind hits behind him. That didn’t work, either. “Billy!” Susan screamed through hysterical tears, “Stop it! Please!” When Billy ignored her, Susan scrambled to the telephone to frantically dial 9-1-1. Max was rooted in place with some mix of horror and fascination, watching Billy’s white knuckles crusted with dried blood tremble with effort as he pulled the belt tight. She could hear the leather straining in his hands as Neil fruitlessly tried to fight Billy off. But his son was stronger than him now, and there was no doubt as to what Billy intended to do. His nose was crinkled, teeth were bared, and there was murder in his eyes. It was a harrowing scene, made worse by Susan’s wailing and begging, but Max was silent. She felt little sympathy for Neil, and had the black thought that maybe he deserved to die. Everything Billy did and everything Billy was came back to him. It felt like poetic justice that Neil had created the monster that was choking the life out of him.“This is Captain Neil Hargrove’s wife,” Susan spoke quickly in her high-pitched panic, “send units to 4819 Cherry Lane immediately, he’s being attacked—b–by his…just send someone, right now!”Hearing her mother’s frantic voice brought Max back to reality, and her better angels overtook her bitterness. She knew she had to stop Billy—not for Neil, but for Billy himself. Despite everything he had put her through, she didn’t want to let him have his own father’s death on his conscience. The added urgency might also just be enough to get him to leave without her. Max tried to stand up, but she was too dazed from the hit. To deal with the spinning room, she stayed on all fours and crawled towards Billy. Neil’s legs had given out and Billy was now kneeling behind his father, continuing to throttle him. Neil’s eyes bulged out of quickly purpling skin and swiveled to Max, who glowered at him. He didn’t deserve to be saved. But she wasn’t doing it for him. “Billy,” she said, sitting back on her knees and grabbing his sleeve, “you have to stop. Think about it: Keith and Tommy are one thing, but a cop? They’ll never stop looking for you.” Billy turned to look at Max. She was surprised to see his beautiful, rage-poisoned eyes glassy with tears. She didn’t know why, but the sight broke her heart. Neil’s hands, which had been clutching at the belt, dropped down to his sides as his eyes began to close. His face had taken on a blueish hue. “Billy, please!” Susan screamed, “You’re killing him!” Billy’s gaze darted to Susan briefly, and uncertainty seemed to ebb away some of the intensity in his eyes, but he didn’t loosen his grip. He looked back at Max, who put a shaky hand on his face and wiped away the tear that fell with her thumb.“If you’re going to run,” Max whispered, “you have to go, now. They’ll be here any second. I’ll try to buy you time.” Max put her other hand on Billy’s as she held his gaze. She felt the hand under hers relax and ultimately let go of the belt, letting Neil slump sideways to the floor, unconscious. Max quickly loosened the belt more and felt his neck. There was a pulse, and he was breathing softly. Susan rushed over to hold him, sobbing. “He’s alive,” Max said, “he’s fine.” “I’m sorry,” Billy said. Max looked at him, assuming he was talking to Neil, but he was looking at her. She was stricken by how sincere he was. She cursed her bleeding heart for wanting to comfort him, and tell him it was alright. It was not alright. He had hurt her so badly, taken so much, and two words were not enough—not if she had any self respect. She had to remind herself that just because she felt for him, she didn’t owe him forgiveness unless he earned it.“If that’s true,” she said quietly, “if you’re really sorry, you’ll leave without me. Keep my note close as a reminder of what you did—what you can’t ever do again, to anyone. Ever.” Billy looked at Max for a moment like he was trying to commit every detail of her face to memory, then a wave of stony determination seemed to dry his tears as he got up and walked back to the hallway to grab his duffel bag. Max watched him in disbelief. Was this it? Would he actually just…go?Billy carried his bag to the door and stopped briefly. He cast one last look over his shoulder at his dad, then Max, then turned away wordlessly, shutting the door behind him. Max got to her feet carefully and walked along the wall to the front window. The Camaro’s engine roared to life, and she watched Billy back out of the driveway, turn left, and speed away down the street. Max stood at the window for a couple of minutes, staring at the spot on the horizon where Billy’s car had disappeared, before she went to sit on the couch and hold a pillow to her aching head. She wondered where Billy would spend his life on the run. His car wasn’t exactly inconspicuous, and neither was he. She guessed he’d go to California, but not home—she had to think he wasn’t dumb enough to do that. He’d probably cut and dye his hair, too. It didn’t really matter what he did—he’d be popular anywhere he went. But that might not work very well for someone trying to stay under the radar. “Max,” Susan said, having finally calmed down some, “Neil’s awake. Can you go get some water for him?” “No, mom,” Max said calmly, and looked over at her mother, who stared back, surprised and angry initially, but when she saw the exhausted, tearful look on Max’s face she relented and went to get the water herself without a word. Maybe she had just remembered that the man she was doting on had punched her daughter in the face after calling her a whore. That would be grounds for divorce for most women, but Susan had a habit of excusing bad behavior. If anyone was going to leave, it might be Neil. He didn’t seem like the type to stick it out through thick or thin…especially now that Billy was gone. But maybe that was wishful thinking. Max glanced at him. He was sitting against the wall and staring straight ahead, silent and white as a sheet, like a man that had very recently and very narrowly avoided death. She wondered if he would ever thank her for saving his life…but she doubted it. If he never spoke to her again, that would be thanks enough. It wasn’t long before the police arrived. Susan let them in and Neil regained his composure enough to put on a passable macho performance and tell his colleagues what happened while, of course, leaving out the details that made him look bad. The police didn’t seem interested in anything Max had to say, since there was one of their own in charge that could give a more reliable account of things. Max was happy to let them leave with a tiny fraction of the story; they didn’t ask, she didn’t tell. The longer it took them to realize she was at the center of all this, the better. She was dreading being left alone with Neil and Susan after they were all gone, but luckily, the paramedic that arrived after the cops confirmed she was concussed and wanted to take her into the hospital. Max was happy to have an excuse to leave the house and a chance to call Steve and Eddie in private to let them know she was alright. As Susan and the paramedic helped Max out to the ambulance, an officer asked her if she saw which direction Billy drove off in. Max glanced west, the direction Billy had driven, before looking the officer in the eye and pointing to the east.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

ONE YEAR LATER: LOS ANGELES, CA
Steve flinched awake, startled by a nearby sound. It was Max, beside him, whimpering and fidgeting in her sleep.“I’m sorry,” was all he could make out amid her incoherent murmuring. It was a familiar, but upsetting refrain. Steve sat up on his elbows and looked at her. Her pale skin and flaming hair stood out against the darkness, the muscles in her face twitched sporadically, and her hands were curled into fists against her bare chest, which jumped with fitful breaths. Max had nightmares most nights, but there was a recurring one that was familiar by now, even from the outside.In the dream, Keith apparently had photos of Billy and Max on him when he died—explicit ones of them in bed together—and Keith’s parents go on the news and show the pictures as proof she was involved in their son’s death along with Billy. Two huge police officers then break into her house and chase her, saying they already killed her mom, Steve and Eddie, and now it’s her turn to be punished. But they don’t arrest her…they torture her with a mixture of things that Billy, Tommy, and Keith had done to her.The human brain was fucking cruel. Max had suffered enough…why keep dredging up old horrors when they had moved away from them—both figuratively and literally? There were 2000 miles between them and Hawkins, now, and they had a good thing going: Steve had gotten a good job at his dad’s friend’s car dealership in West Hollywood, Max was loving film school at USC, and the rules on campus were so loose that he was able to stay with Max in her single dorm room while he looked for an apartment. They were happier than they’d ever been, but the nightmares persisted.“Max,” he whispered, shaking her shoulder gently, “wake up.”Max’s eyes flew open and she recoiled in fright with a gasp.“It’s okay,” Steve said, “it’s me.”Max sat up, eyes darting nervously around the room before she sighed and leaned back to rest on her pillow, exasperated. Steve pulled her close to him.“Same one?” he asked.Max nodded against his chest. “Sorry I woke you.”Steve rubbed her arm and sighed. “I wish you’d stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.”Max didn’t respond. Steve was no shrink, but he knew her; he knew why she saw Keith’s parents in her nightmares. Everything that happened last year had taken a toll on her, and warped her mind to the point where part of her believed the bullshit people in Hawkins whispered behind her back.Rumors surrounding Keith’s death had flourished in the empty spaces left by the little information that was made public. All people knew was that Billy, Keith and Tommy had gotten into a fight, and Billy had ended it. Tommy had survived the fight that killed Keith with a skull fracture, a broken rib and a couple lost teeth—less than he deserved, in Steve’s mind. Maybe death was extreme, but Steve would be lying if he said he shed a tear for Keith after what he did.But to the rest of Hawkins, Keith was an innocent, high-potential athlete struck down in his prime. With Billy gone, the small town was looking for someone to blame, and Max, the outsider, was an easy target, especially after Stacey made sure everyone knew about the photo Keith had found the day before he died. Even though she’d been questioned and cleared by the police, Max might as well have worn a scarlet letter; students whispered behind her back when she walked by, and she couldn’t go to a public place without a suspicious or judgmental glance from a gossipy townie. Treat someone like a criminal for long enough, and they’ll start to believe they are one.Steve knew Max felt guilty for letting Billy get away. He didn’t understand why she would have pointed in the wrong direction…Max didn’t seem to fully understand, either. Still, even if she’d pointed the right way, Billy drove like a bat out of hell on a normal day, and he had a head start, so they wouldn’t have caught him. As it was, he was still in the wind. Max worried he would come back to southern California, but Steve doubted it. This was an enormous country, and Billy had plenty of hiding spots to choose from…why would he choose such a risky one?No, that part of their life was over; they had put time and space between it and them. Billy was gone and they were starting a new life together under palm trees and the California sun. But he guessed healing wounds like that was a tough beat no matter where you were.

Max lay on her stomach with her eyes closed, spread out on the blanket and listening to the waves rolling up on the beach amid other beachgoers’ laughter and chatting. Ever since Steve arrived last month, they had done this at least twice a week. He had never been to the West Coast and was transfixed by the scale and beauty of its beaches. Max understood; she had grown up on the Pacific Ocean, but she would never get tired of looking at it.The beach and the sun generally improved her mood, but something still felt off. Here in LA, somehow, it felt even harder to process the events of last year than it had in Hawkins, and she didn’t know why. Maybe part of it was how surreal it all felt being back in a place where so much had remained the same when she had changed so much. After two Indiana winters, it also felt surreal to be out in the sun, in a bikini, cultivating freckles on a crowded beach in November.Part of her missed the changing leaves and biting winds of autumn in Indiana; it was a beautiful marker of time passing, a reminder that the world is spinning whether you like it or not. The changing seasons mercilessly anchored you in time and reality. Here, reality felt far away. Most days were beach days, even in the winter, and the palm trees never changed their colors.Maybe that’s why these nightmares wouldn’t stop…her mind clung to the pain and trauma because they felt real. But why? The cold, sadness and fear…why dwell on that when, all week, nothing bad had happened and it had been 72 degrees and sunny right here where she was? She was here in that perfect weather with someone who loved her so much he had moved across the country to be with her while she went to her dream school. People would kill for that…but there was something in her now, some nagging feeling that happiness didn’t suit her.Max turned her head to look at Steve, who was stretched out on his back next to her, head resting on his hands behind his head and eyes closed under his sunglasses. The small, serene grin on his face made her smile. He tanned quickly and well, which was something Max’s skin knew nothing of under its thick coat of sunscreen. California looked good on him. Her eyes drifted down to the scar on his thigh, which made her smile falter.It had been a hard year—one that Max wasn’t sure she would have survived without Steve’s unwavering support. She wasn’t positive she deserved that either, but she was grateful for it. He had stood by her all year despite the rumors, the vitriol, and the heartache that resulted from what Billy had done. The fallout had been swift and painful.Max had been right; Neil hadn’t even stuck around for a week after Billy left. He left her and her mom with next to nothing, so Susan had to get a job at the diner and they moved into Eddie’s trailer park. It wasn’t the best place, but Max was happy to be rid of Neil and close to Eddie, at least. They had stuck it out until graduation, then packed up and moved to her aunts house in Santa Barbara during the summer.Despite what Keith had done to her, there was a permanent, horrible ache in her chest when she thought of his parents losing their child. They were a fixture in her nightmares; they would appear on the news, wielding naked photos of her and Billy as proof that she was responsible for their loss. They were the mouthpiece for her subconscious, screaming at her that she should be punished, and that if she had just done something differently—she didn’t know what—none of this would have happened. Keith had paid for his sins with his life, but she had let Billy get away without paying for any of his. It haunted her.Steve opened his eyes and looked over at Max, noticing her far away expression.“What’s up?” he asked.Max tried to shed her preoccupations and get back to the present moment. “Nothing,” she smiled, “just enjoying the view.”Steve snuffed. “C’mere.”He shifted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her. She nestled into the crook of his shoulder and draped her arm across his hairy chest.“What were you thinking about?” he asked.“Oh, the usual. What were you thinking about?”“Quantum physics, I think.”Max frowned at him. “Hm?”“Crunching the numbers…facts and figures…”“On what?”He smirked. “Trying to figure out how in the hell I landed the hottest chick on this beach.”Max laughed. “Oh my God. That’s a new one.”“Just came up with it. Knew it was corny but sometimes you gotta let 'em fly.”“It’s a bit much.”“So am I,” he said, reaching over and hooking her leg over his hip.“I think you’re just right, actually.”“Oof, talk about corny.”“Shut up,” she smiled, took his face in her hands and drew a deep kiss before looking up into his eyes, made almost amber by the sun.“I love you,” she said.“I love you, too.”

As Max and Steve strolled hand-in-hand down the boardwalk, Max looked around at the various beachgoers: the loitering teenagers with skateboards, the girls in skimpy bathing suits rollerskating along the paved path, the bodybuilders working out at Muscle Beach, the middle aged women power walking with their cross-country poles…she was happy to see them all. There was something so freeing about being surrounded by this many strangers. Here, her story was just small town gossip; no one whispered behind her back because no one knew, and no one cared. She was just one in eight million.Steve stopped at a vendor’s stall to look at some hats, and Max idly strolled around nearby until another one of the eight million caught her eye across the street. She only saw his profile for a half second before he turned his back to her, but it was familiar enough to stop her in her tracks. She kept watching him as he walked down the block perpendicular to them, towards a large crowd gathered for some kind of street party. She knew that swaggering walk. She knew the curls that sat atop his head, too—though they were short and bleach blonde, now.To stave off the creeping cold in her gut, she tried to convince herself that she was being paranoid. Venice Beach had no shortage of tanned, toned guys in muscle shirts swaggering around. Still, Max couldn’t take her eyes off him, and her feet unconsciously drifted closer to the curb, wishing he’d just turn around so she could be sure.Almost like he could hear her thoughts, the man suddenly turned to look over his shoulder. He locked eyes with Max just long enough for her to confirm her fear—it was Billy. Her heart dropped into her stomach, but the glimpse only lasted for a fraction of a second before a truck rolled to a stop between them and cut off her eyeline. She jogged down the sidewalk so she could see around the back of the truck, but he wasn’t there anymore.She ran across the street to the spot where he’d been, then into the crowd, looking around wildly and ignoring the disgruntled looks she was getting from people she bumped into. She didn’t see him. He was gone. Max’s neck felt tight and her heart beat hard. It was him—she was sure of it…right? But he hadn’t been that far ahead; where could he have gone? Had there even been anyone there? Was she losing her mind?She flinched violently as a hand grabbed her shoulder, then sighed in relief when she realized it was Steve.“Hey,” he said, face twisted in confusion and concern as his eyes darted between her and their surroundings, trying to figure out what she had been looking at, “What’s wrong? What happened?”Max scanned the area once more, but still saw no sign of him. There were two guys with bleach blonde hair, but neither were who she had seen—or thought she had seen. No, it couldn’t have been him. She had made up her mind already before seeing his face for just a split second…her brain was just showing her what she had already been picturing. It had just been reality struggling to gain traction in her brain, once again.“Nothing,” she said, “I thought—I don’t know. Nevermind. Nothing.”“Nothing?” Steve shot her a doubtful look, “You didn’t even hear me call you.”She closed her eyes in exasperation. This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but this time felt more real than the others. She wasn’t sure why Steve put up with her. He would be within his rights to roll his eyes and call her crazy. But he had never done that, and wasn’t doing it now. What he did was pull her into a warm, comforting embrace.“Forget it,” he said, “it’s alright.”Max melted into the hug, closing her eyes and pressing her face to his chest. Why was she like this? Why couldn’t she just let the past die? Why was she having such a hard time holding onto her present reality when it was right here, with its arms around her? Here was someone she didn’t have to hide from, someone who knew each part of her and loved the whole. That was real.“You don’t have to be afraid anymore,” Steve said.Max looked up into his eyes, which were back to brown now that the sun was setting. She loved him…she really did. Maybe, someday, she would believe him.