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—1—When the group goes out for karaoke, Uryuu finds himself sitting right beside Sado Yasutora—Chad, to his friends. It’s unfortunate, the way Uryuu’s face goes all warm when Chad’s leg presses against his under the table, once they get settled in.He doesn't have to endure that for long, though; blessedly soon, it is Chad’s turn on the mic, and it shouldn’t be surprising that Chad’s deep, mellow voice sounds utterly delicious when he’s using it to sing. Warm, liquid bass, and Uryuu’s knees feel a little weak.This has become a problem lately, this attraction to Chad. He’d thought of him as purely a friend for a couple of years before they’d been paired up on a Chemistry assignment last semester, and watching the careful, precise, knowledgeable way Chad handled potentially dangerous chemicals with his big, strong hands had often left Uryuu speechless. And that was how it started.Now, six months later, Chad’s walking back to their table to wolf-whistles and hoots from Ichigo and Keigo, and even Orihime. And is Chad actually blushing? Uryuu refuses to believe it.Then, it’s Uryuu’s turn. Uryuu stands just before Chad’s back at their table, and they do an awkward little dance, trying to get Uryuu past Chad’s well-over-a-hundred-kilos’ worth of muscle, and keep Chad from upending the other table, without their bodies brushing together. Uryuu’s surprised he’s not sweating when he reaches the little stage.He’d planned to forfeit his turn, but after hearing Chad sing and adding yet another tally to the “Chad’s An Excellent Romantic Prospect” column in his mind, he has to do something to assure that Chad won’t see him the same way. This is his first, best option.He grips the mic so hard his knuckles turn white. When the music starts, he squeezes his eyes closed and prepares to utterly humiliate himself.He does an excellent job of it, if he does say so himself. He doesn’t think he hits even one correct note, and he actually hears Keigo “Yeesh!” loudly enough to carry to him over the music. It’s not like he’s even trying to sing poorly—he can’t sing, end of story. Well, here’s an addendum: his singing is even worse when he’s nervous. Perfect storm.But when he gets back to their table, Chad gives him a big, bright smile, one that Uryuu’s seen a couple of times in the few years they’ve known each other, but it’s devastating when it’s for him.Give me a break, Uryuu thinks, despairing. That smile is so genuine, so incredibly attractive, and it marks another tally in the column. Once the group exits the club, Chad gently grabs Uryuu’s elbow and holds him back. Uryuu’s heart sinks.“I was wondering… “ Chad begins, and he looks down at Uryuu silently for a few seconds before Uryuu becomes impatient and says, sharply, “Yes?”“Oh. I’m having a little trouble with the last Calculus assignment. I thought you might be able to help me.”Tentative relief floods Uryuu’s system. “Of course. I can come over…” Uryuu looks a question at Chad.“Tomorrow?” Chad says. When Uryuu nods, Chad says “Right after school is fine.”“Sure,” Uryuu says, suddenly nervous, standing here talking to Chad, for the moment no traffic, no pedestrians, the two of them effectively all alone. At least they’re not shut up alone in the same room together… like they will be tomorrow.He takes a breath. “See you then,” he says, and he turns and begins walking home. Within a half-dozen steps, Chad’s caught up with him, and they walk side-by-side toward their homes, in welcome silence, until they reach Uryuu’s turn-off. Then Chad wishes him a good night.Uryuu says nothing in reply.—2—When Uryuu enters Chad’s apartment, the first thing he notices is the drying rack draped with Chad’s flashy, multicolored shirts. They seem big as tents, when Chad’s not wearing them… and ugly as sin.Uryuu lets himself laugh, once, and he lifts the damp sleeve of one. “These are… pretty terrible,” he says, smiling wryly. He tests the fabric between thumb and forefinger.“It’s hard to find clothing in my size,” Chad says, seemingly unperturbed, and Uryuu feels briefly awful. Then his mood lifts when Chad says, “I… know you’re a good tailor. If you wanted to… make me something, I’d happily wear it.”In spite of everything, Uryuu realizes that he’s excited about the prospect, instead of put out that Chad would impose on him in such an uncharacteristic way. It would be quite an interesting challenge to truly tailor a shirt for someone of Chad’s size. And he knows from experience that seeing one of his creations, no matter how humble, on Chad would be most pleasing. Granted, the previous time it had only been a sleeveless t-shirt, sewn in Soul Society out of necessity, with Chad's size estimated, but it had looked great on him nonetheless.“Of course,” Uryuu says briskly. Then he remembers—to get Chad’s true size, he’ll have to… actually measure him. But… “I carry a sewing kit in my bag. I’ll just need to take a few measurements.”He’s businesslike and curt as he orders Chad around, and he is glad he thinks to have Chad face away as he measures chest and waist, because feeling Chad’s body under his shirt, even the small amount Uryuu gets from wrapping the tape around him—and seeing exactly how big Chad is, in real, quantifiable numbers—are making his face feel hot. He doesn’t want to imagine how… stimulating it would be, had he measured Chad from the front. Standing scant inches away from him. Cheek pressed against Chad’s hard chest as he drew the measuring tape around Chad’s back. Even if it was only for a second. It would be…Face still warm, Uryuu turns away and jots down the numbers, then makes an entire production out of putting things back in his sewing kit and packing that and his notebook away, to give his face, and his brain, a little time to cool down.Then he remembers why he’s actually there, and pulls his notebook and pencil back out, along with his Calc textbook.—3—A week later Uryuu brings Chad three new shirts: a dark red, an aqua green, and a soft cream-colored one that’s his favorite of the three. After letting Uryuu in with a smile—luckily, not that huge, genuine smile from the other night—Chad strips his shirt off right in front of Uryuu to try one on. Embarrassed—and knowing he’ll be thinking about this later, anyway—Uryuu turns his back to Chad until he’s done changing. It fits perfectly, the deep red looking gorgeous against his bronze skin. Uryuu wonders if any color would look bad on Chad. Probably not. Not that Uryuu would admit it aloud, but he even makes his hideous shirts work.After Chad’s tried on the other two—and somehow the green, while being a little too obnoxious for Uryuu by itself, but which he thought Chad would like, looks the best on him—he shrugs back into his original shirt and turns toward Uryuu. His hair is a mess, nearly flat on one side, a thick, wavy cloud on the other. Uryuu can’t help but to smile.“Let me take you to dinner,” Chad says with a little smile of his own.Uryuu’s mouth goes flat. “No, no,” he says, his first instinct, gesturing with his hands. “I couldn’t.”“It’s the least I can do. I know this must have taken a lot of time, and I really like them.”Uryuu says, “Well…” and he makes a show of dithering, when more than half of him is dying to say, Yes. Please take me to dinner, Chad. Please.Finally, after what he hopes is an uncomfortably long silence, he gives an unenthusiastic, “I guess,” for an answer.But, “Good,” Chad says, still smiling, not at all bothered by Uryuu’s lackluster acceptance of his invitation… and yep, another tally in the column. He’s rung up quite a few today, actually.Uryuu kind of hates it.—4—Dinner starts off uncomfortable—Uryuu makes sure of that. He takes only a few bites of his fish and vegetables before frowning and declaring the food to be disgusting. Chad smiles with his mouth full and shrugs and eats his hamburger and fries rather quickly, glancing up at Uryuu now and then without a word. Once he’s done, he smiles again. It’s hard not to smile back, but Uryuu manages. Then, when their waiter swings around, Chad asks him for a to-go box for Uryuu’s leftovers.“I don't want it,” Uryuu says, with the faintest sneer.“I know. I’ll eat it for lunch tomorrow.” Chad holds his hand out for the check as soon as their waiter reappears with the box. He pleasantly but firmly refuses to let Uryuu pay for his half of the meal. “You barely ate. You made me clothes,” he reminds Uryuu.He’s such a gentleman that Uryuu can barely handle it. Another tick mark in the column.Then, as they walk out, Uryuu’s walking slowly, hesitating, wondering if he should take off alone, when Chad will probably catch up with him anyway, or keep pace with Chad as they usually do, when Chad says, “Uryuu.”Uryuu stops and looks up at him. “Yes?”“Do you want to… see a movie with me this weekend?”Again, he’s somewhat melodramatically indecisive on the outside, while being truly indecisive in his mind. “Well…” He sighs in his most put-upon fashion. This dinner… wasn’t so bad, despite his early attempt at sabotage. He’d been rude, sure, but Chad had taken it in stride, and Uryuu had… enjoyed Chad’s company. More than he feels he should have, really, for what little had transpired at the restaurant.But it’s just a movie. “I suppose,” he finally says.“Good,” Chad says, again utterly unfazed. “I’ll be at your apartment Saturday at 6:30.”Their walk toward their homes is once again a silent one, and the one time Uryuu glances up at Chad, not even intentionally, he finds that Chad has a little smile on his full lips. He quickly looks away.—5—Either Chad’s remarkably dense… which he isn’t. Uryuu’s noticed his class ranking since their first year of high school. He always paid close attention to the top ten. Paid attention to Chad, even when he dipped below the line.Or… he really likes Uryuu. Enough to overlook his rudeness, his indecisiveness, his terrible singing, his… everything. In favor of seeing… what, exactly?Sitting at his desk two days after their dinner date, eyes unfocused and pencil held loosely in his hand, suddenly Uryuu feels awful for the way he’s treated Chad. Uryuu likes him. Has liked him as a person before he began seeing him as a possible romantic partner. So why is he trying so hard to keep him away?Maybe… maybe Uryuu is scared. Actually, there’s no maybe about it… this completed date plus planned future date is the closest he’s ever gotten to being in a relationship with someone. It’s no surprise, given the way he instinctively acts when there’s the “danger” of someone getting close… and the danger of them seeing that, beyond Uryuu’s dedication to studying and impeccable taste in fashion and overblown sense of pride, there’s very little underneath. To be rejected for his lack of personality would hurt much more than driving someone away with his rudeness and aloofness.Though he does crave company. It’s a frustrating knot he can’t seem to untangle.Take now: he’s getting the company he so desperately needs in his otherwise lonely existence, yet he wants to push it as far away from himself as possible. He refuses to let Chad buy him a ticket at the movie theater. Refuses anything from the concession stand. Sits through the whole movie with his arms crossed.When they leave the theater, he proclaims that the movie was awful.Chad surprises him by agreeing. “80 yards didn’t need a sequel. It really wasn’t very good, was it?” He glances down at Uryuu, who doesn’t answer. Then says, “Next time, you can pick what we watch.”Uryuu wants to protest. There won’t be a next time. They’re not going out again. This isn’t a thing. They had dinner, then a few days later they went to a movie. They haven’t even really touched.Instead, he just hmmphs and keeps walking, trying not to imagine getting closer to Chad, them getting to know each other, liking Chad more and more… and being devastated when Chad inevitably becomes distant, then drifts away, because Uryuu just isn’t enough.He imagines it anyway.Before Chad takes the turn that would lead to his house that night, he stops under a streetlight that makes a halo out of his hair, and invites Uryuu to see a play the next week. Uryuu, weak, can’t resist both Chad and Play in the same thought, so he gives a more enthusiastic yes than previously, before he really thinks about what he’s doing.“Good,” Chad says. “I’ll see you Wednesday evening, then.”—6—Wednesday comes, and Chad shows up earlier than expected, when Uryuu has his laundry spread out on the floor, half of it folded or put on hangers, the other half in a tidy pile beside where he’d been sitting.“You can finish,” Chad says as soon as he walks inside, toeing off his shoes. “The play doesn’t start for another hour. Do you want help?”Yet another tally mark. It has become ridiculous. Uryuu has entirely lost count. Except that he knows that in the “Chad’s NotAn Excellent Romantic Prospect” column, there’s only one tally, and that one is for Uryuu, himself.He sighs, having a moment of clarity in which he realizes how self-loathing and self-sabotaging he has been. He could possibly be having a nice relationship with a great guy who he really likes, but instead, he’s trying not to berate himself for watching boring documentaries on television while he folds laundry, and actually folding his socks, and for the way he has his textbooks and pencils neatly arranged at near-perfect right angles on his desk. Even the fresh, perfectly straight vacuum lines in the carpet, as much as he likes them, suddenly seem too anal-retentive.Then Chad lowers himself to the floor to sit cross-legged on the other side of Uryuu’s little laundry pile. Uryuu looks longingly at his thick, wavy hair, his strong profile, unlike any other man he knows… and the moment of clarity passes, the self-loathing returns, and he berates himself, anyway.“No, that’s okay,” Uryuu says briskly. “I do it a certain way. You can watch some tv.”Chad turns on a rerun of Carnivore Kingdom and seems perfectly content to watch it while Uryuu finishes up his laundry. Then Uryuu puts everything away, and when he comes back, Chad’s leaning back on his arms, one big hand spread on the carpet just inches from where Uryuu had been sitting. Uryuu knows he could sit right back down and reach out and grab Chad’s hand, and hold it.Something inside him aches as he sits on the couch, instead. The theater is mostly full when they get there, and they find two seats one row from the very back. That’s fine… the acoustics in this theater are quite good, Uryuu knows, so they won’t miss anything.The seats are on the small side, though, something Uryuu’d never noticed until he was sitting next to Chad in one. To keep from banging his knees on the seat in front of him, Chad has to part his legs, bumping one knee against Uryuu’s. Their shoulders are pressed together. Chad is warm even through his jacket.Halfway through the show, Uryuu’s watching raptly when he feels Chad move. Then Chad’s arm is coming up to wrap around Uryuu’s shoulders, and Uryuu winces inwardly. He doesn’t cringe away from Chad’s touch. He doesn’t even acknowledge it. He does, however, lean forward very, very slowly, until Chad’s arm is no longer in contact with his back.Chad gets the hint. He withdraws his arm, and moves it back to his side so that their shoulders are pressed together again. Perfectly acceptable contact. “Do you want to come over and watch a movie at my apartment this Sunday?” Chad asks, disturbing the customary silence halfway through their walk home.Uryuu thinks for a moment. For some reason, Sunday sounds a lot more innocuous than Friday or Saturday, and less like a date. “What movie?” Uryuu asks.“You can pick. Remember?” Chad smiles down at him.“Oh. I’ll, ah…” Uryuu realizes he’s already decided. “I’ll find something, then.”Chad’s smile grows. “Good. I’ll make popcorn. Any kind of soda you like?”Root beer, Uryuu almost says, but he remembers himself at the last second. “I’ll just have water, thank you,” he says, so politely it’s almost insulting.They take a dozen more steps, then Chad gently bumps his arm into Uryuu’s shoulder. “Come by around 7. See you later, Uryuu,” Chad says, then he turns down his street. Uryuu can only stare at his retreating back for several seconds. The bump on the arm. Is perfectly acceptable contact… Isn’t it?—7—Chad answers the door in the aqua green shirt that Uryuu had made him and a pair of attractively fitting worn jeans. He looks… really great, and Uryuu has to suppress a smile. He walks in wordlessly and hands Chad the dvd; he’d decided on a black-and-white French film with subtitles, certain that this was outside Chad’s range of taste in movies. He knows his shell is slipping, but he can still try.Chad’s couch is… small, especially considering how big he is. It’s a three-seater, if all three were Uryuu’s size or smaller.Once Uryuu's seated on one side of the couch, Chad gets a big bowl of popcorn and his bottle of orange soda… and hands Uryuu a cold bottle of root beer.“I asked Ichigo what you liked. He said he thought it was root beer. I thought you were being polite with the water. I have some, but this wasn’t a problem.”Four sentences. That’s a minor speech for Chad, and Uryuu’s a little impressed that Chad would ask around to try to accommodate him. So, “Thanks,” he says, somewhat dazed, and he uncaps the bottle and takes a sip as Chad settles in beside him, making his end of the couch dip. Of course, the popcorn’s right there, and the buttery saltiness of it would taste perfect with the root beer’s cold sweetness.He abstains for as long as he can, until Chad has thumbed on the remote and the title card is on screen. Until Chad takes a handful and Uryuu hears it crunch, and he takes another sip of his soda, and he can’t even last until the actual film starts. He reaches into the bowl and snags a few pieces, pops them into his mouth, and it’s as good as he’d imagined. When he reaches back in, attention drawn to the opening scene on the tv, his hand bumps Chad’s.“Oh,” he says, withdrawing his hand, tips of his ears burning.“It’s okay,” Chad whispers. “I have another bowl if you want it. I just thought it might be easier to share.”Uryuu hovers on the decision whether to shush him so that they can pay attention to the movie, but in the end, he takes too long for it to be effective. “We can share,” he whispers back.So they watch the film and snack on the popcorn, knees touching, hands brushing occasionally. Chad talks a few times—more than Uryuu would have expected—but he impresses Uryuu by picking up on some jokes and nuances that somehow elude Uryuu’s notice. Apparently, Chad knows a little French.Then, almost an hour into the movie, Chad leans closer.“There’s nobody else here,” Chad says softly. “Can I put my arm around you?”Uryuu’s eyes widen in surprise. He thought he’d made himself clear. Not in words, of course, but one would think Chad of all people was good at wordless communication.“That’s not—” Uryuu begins to say. That’s not why I didn't want you to. But he doesn’t… he doesn’t want to hurt Chad. He’s past that, and he knows he’s sinking under all the tally marks, under all the kindness, under all the understanding, the smiles, the offers to help fold laundry, the root beer, the size of Chad’s body, the gentleness of his hands, his voice when he speaks, his voice when he sings, his handsome face…When weighed against all that, what could a little bit of arm around his shoulders hurt? “Yes,” Uryuu says finally. He darts a glance over at Chad and sees the way he smiles as he wraps a warm arm around Uryuu’s shoulders, hand coming around to squeeze Uryuu’s upper arm before Chad settles beside him. His side is so warm and solid.They finish the movie like that, neither of them seemingly daring to move, not wanting to break the spell.After the movie, they stand, Uryuu a little shaken just from that minor contact. Chad ejects the dvd and hands it to Uryuu, who takes it wordlessly. Then Chad asks, “Do you want to go bowling next week?”Of course Uryuu has to hem and haw for show, but of course he says yes, anyway. And bowling is more fun than Uryuu had expected. He’s an excellent bowler, and Chad’s very good as well, so they play a few competitive games. Uryuu’s both relieved and disappointed that they barely sit beside each other at all, and Chad doesn’t try to touch Uryuu in any way. Doesn’t even ask. Finally, they walk home and part ways, with Chad inviting himself to Uryuu’s to cook dinner. “Your kitchen is bigger than mine. And I don’t have a table,” he says in explanation.Uryuu finds that he can’t even dither, this time. “Yes,” he says almost immediately.The smile that spreads across Chad’s face isn’t quite at the level of the gorgeous one he’d aimed at Uryuu, that night at karaoke, but it’s not far from it. It makes Uryuu blush, and he’s glad it’s dark outside so that Chad can’t see what effect a simple smile has on Uryuu.“Good,” Chad says. “I’ll see you Saturday evening.”“Yes,” Uryuu says again, and Chad gives him a wave as he turns down his street.—8—Chad makes something Italian that Uryuu’s never tried before, and can’t quite pronounce. He likes the way Chad says it, though. It’s not surprising that Chad has a way with languages; from what Uryuu’s gathered, Chad had apparently spoken passable Japanese, Spanish, and English by the time he was in middle school.They eat at Uryuu’s low table at catty-corners to each other, tv off but radio playing softly.“Do you cook a lot?” Uryuu asks, then takes another bite of… whatever it is. It’s delicious.“Yes. I enjoy cooking. I don’t get to cook for others very often. Though, sometimes I do go to Ichigo’s and make meals for his family.”“That’s really nice,” Uryuu says, watching Chad handle his fork and knife so delicately. Uryuu can cook about as well as he can sing. He finds that the time and effort are never worth the payoff; three-minute noodles taste just as good to him as anything he could make, and don’t waste half of his day that could be used on studying or sewing or training, either.“Do you cook?” Chad asks after he swallows a big bite. Uryuu had been amused to watch Chad plate their food, giving himself twice as much as he gave Uryuu. But he gets it now; he’s a little over halfway done, and already getting full, while Chad’s almost finished with his plate.“No, I don’t have the time,” Uryuu says, elaborating more than he might once have, but not telling the whole story. Maybe Chad would be around long enough to find out.Uryuu swallows hard and carefully places his fork on the table, glancing at Chad, then away immediately. He flattens his hands on either side of his plate. He knows he’s going pale. Maybe Chad would be around long enough to find out. Really?Really?“Are you okay?” Chad asks, concern deepening his voice.“I’m fine.” Uryuu seldom lies, and on the rare occasions he does, it’s usually lies like this. I’m fine, or It’s okay, or It’s not a big deal. “Just… suddenly full.”“The pasta,” Chad says, nodding. He places his fork and knife on the table. “Do you want another glass of water?”Uryuu just shakes his head, eyes focused straight ahead, past where Chad’s sitting on his right. Chad, just being Chad, has thrown him for a loop, one he can’t seem to get out of. He wants Chad to go home and leave him alone. And he wants Chad to stay and sit with him on the couch, a warm, heavy arm draped around his shoulders, Chad’s deep voice reverberating through his side when he does speak. He wants to know what things Chad will say next, what new and interesting facts about himself he’ll reveal.He, very simply, wants Chad.But.Chad interrupts his thoughts. “Uryuu?”“Hmm?” Uryuu asks, realizing he has no idea how long he’d zoned out.“Can I…” Chad looks sheepish. “Can I hold your hand?”Uryuu takes a deep breath, mind going blank. It finally comes back online after a few seconds.He knows that this is a small thing, probably nothing to most people, but… he’s never held hands with anyone before. And Chad’s actually asking permission for this very minor act of intimacy—maybe he understands that it’s no small thing, too.“Yes,” Uryuu says quietly. He turns his hand so that it’s palm-up and opens it, and Chad’s hand is so warm and calloused and strong as it wraps around his, nearly swallowing up Uryuu’s narrow palm and slender fingers. Chad squeezes his hand gently and smiles at him, then they sit with the radio playing softly, with their hands linked, until their remaining food is completely cold and the ice in their water has melted, and the sky outside the window has turned from twilight blue to a deep purple.Uryuu is terrified.Chad finally uncurls his hand from around Uryuu’s, and he stands and goes to the kitchen, begins cleaning up after himself. Uryuu joins him, washing pots and pans as Chad places them in the sink, and this feels so right that Uryuu’s heart lurches in a mixture of desire and fear that makes his hands shake in the soapy water.Finally, it’s time for Chad to leave. With the things he’d brought with him in a couple of grocery bags, he walks toward the door slowly. Uryuu follows, meaning to lock up after him.Chad reaches for the doorknob, but before he can open it, he turns to face Uryuu. Uryuu watches, confused, as he slowly bends down to place his bags on the floor beside him. Then Chad takes a half-step toward Uryuu, and looking down, asks softly, “Can I kiss you?”Uryuu thinks he might pass out from the sheer amount of noise in his head. Voices clamoring, Yes. No. Stop. Run. Stay. Don’t you dare say no. This feels like the end of the world.This feels like the beginning of a new life.This feels like……like he’s already come this far and Chad’s still here, so why stop now? Before he can think his way out of that, he uncurls his hands from the tight fists he’d been clenching them in.“...Yes,” Uryuu says.Chad leans down and kisses him, just a brief, soft kiss, but affection and desire spark so bright inside Uryuu that they momentarily cast everything else in shadow, and without thinking, he stretches upwards as Chad is slowly pulling away… so Chad kisses him again. And again, deeper now, lips wet, tongues brushing, until Chad pulls away only far enough to speak.“Can—” he starts, raising his hands from where they’d been hanging immobile at his sides.“Yes,” Uryuu says emphatically, impatiently, and he presses his mouth against Chad’s as he grabs Chad’s sturdy wrists and wraps Chad’s arms around his body. His hands are warm through Uryuu’s shirt, and together they cover nearly his entire back, and Uryuu feels weak, in more ways than one. He’s suddenly a coward again. Because that’s what he’s always been: a coward. Afraid to let Chad get close, afraid that he’ll prove what Uryuu’s suspected for most of his life—that he really is unlovable.So, hating himself, Uryuu says, “That’s enough,” and steps back and out of Chad’s arms. For the first time, Chad actually looks a little… hurt, and it hurts Uryuu to see it.“Why…” Chad says, and it seems like he doesn’t know what to ask.“I just can’t, all right?” Uryuu says impatiently, his anger at himself sharpening his voice. He wants Chad to get the hell out of his apartment.He wants Chad to grab him by the shoulders and kiss him as hard as he can.Uryuu paces to the far side of the living room, with Chad standing by the door watching, and then he drops onto the couch.“Why are you even still here?” Uryuu asks, frustrated with himself for asking, frustrated because he actually does want an answer. Frustrated with himself for the reason behind the question: one more barb to push Chad away from him, when what he really wants is to grab Chad and hold him close, and never let go.But he can’t say that, now, can he? He makes a disgusted sound.“Uryuu,” Chad says, his voice low and serious. It grabs Uryuu’s attention, and he turns to face Chad, who’s watching him intently.“I’ve liked you for a long time,” Chad says, walking closer until he’s nearly even with the couch. “Since way before you started pushing me away.” Now Chad gives him a half-smile as all the blood rushes out of Uryuu’s face. He knew? “I like how honest you are. I like how kind you are, though you try to hide it. I like that you always carry your sewing kit with you, just in case. I like that you keep your apartment clean, and vacuum, and fold your clothes. You even dust. I like how independent you are. How smart you are. How complex you are. I feel like I could be with you for decades, and still not fully understand you.”Uryuu, still reeling over the idea that Chad knew all along that Uryuu was behaving badly on purpose, has nonetheless been processing every word Chad has said, and it feels like his brain is fracturing in his skull. This is the most he’s ever heard Chad say in one sitting—in one day, even—and it’s so… incredibly sweet, it makes his chest hurt.He’s not even done, yet. “And, I won't lie,” Chad says, voice going even lower, “I like the way you look. You’re the cutest guy I’ve ever met.”Now all the blood that had left Uryuu’s face comes rushing back, and then some. This is more than he can handle, and he tries to get a grip on his wildly scattered thoughts. “You…” he says, but doesn’t know what he meant to say next. This is highly irregular. He tries again. “You… ”But, also highly irregular, Chad interrupts him. “I really like you, Uryuu. Truly. Even when you’re tactless. Even when you’re not perfect. Maybe even especially then, I still don’t know. But I do know that I like you, very much.”“No one’s… ever…” Uryuu swallows in a tight throat. “Said anything like that to me, before. I’m sorry, I don’t…”Chad suddenly looks alarmed, and Uryuu replays the last thing he said. “No, no! I just mean I… don’t know what to say to something like that. You… don’t know how much I like you, Chad. I liked you before, but that was nothing compared to now, after you sticking around through so much, and then saying… that...”“I meant every word,” Chad says. Now he’s taking the last few steps toward Uryuu and standing in front of him. Uryuu only has to crane his neck to see his face for a second before Chad drops to his knees in front of him. Without asking, he grips Uryuu’s knees loosely and spreads them, and if Uryuu’s face hadn’t already been red, it would be now. But Chad scoots forward, until he’s kneeling between Uryuu’s thighs, eye level with him.“Can I buy you dinner?” Chad asks.Of all the things. Uryuu is surprised into a short laugh, and when he says, “Yes,” Chad leans forward, cups the back of his head, and kisses him thoroughly, kisses him far more intimately than Uryuu ever imagined he could be kissed. When they finally break apart a minute or two later, breathing hard and both of them pink-faced, now, Uryuu pants, “I’ll even try not to be a prick, this time.”It’s Chad’s turn to laugh. It’s brief, but Uryuu hasn’t heard it before, and it makes him feel warm far beyond what the kissing had done.Chad says, “I’ll hold you to that.”Then, “Good,” is the only thing Uryuu can say before Chad’s mouth presses against his again, soft and warm and already familiar, and Uryuu could have thrown all this away. Probably would have, had it been anyone other than kind, patient, solid Chad, who cared about him when he didn’t even care about himself.Uryuu breaks away to whisper, “Thank you.”And Chad’s smile says he knows exactly what for. —the end