Work Text
The year is 1985 in London, the capital of England. At this time, John Illsley, a single father, is trying to raise his little daughter named Flora Illsley. Flora is 7 years old and in second grade. John owns a record store in East London. He also works nights to earn enough money for himself and his daughter. Flora's mother had divorced John when Flora was barely a year old. She had told John that she loved another man and did not want anything to do with the child. And so John was left alone with a little girl with hazel eyes and almost black curls. Even though their financial situation was not very good, he loved his daughter more than anything and would do anything for her.It was a Friday when Flora came home and entered the record store. It was a big old house that John had inherited from his grandfather. The record store was downstairs and the family’s apartment was upstairs on the first floor. Flora tried to sneak through the store as quickly as possible without her father noticing, but she couldn't. John was standing on a large ladder, sorting some records on the shelf, when he saw her."Hey, honey! How was school?" The tall man smiled as he climbed down the ladder and walked towards his daughter. The girl was wearing her school uniform and holding her school bag."Hello, Dad." She said, biting her lower lip. John studied her for a while before sighing."What happened?""Nothing happened!" She exclaimed immediately."Flo, you're my daughter." John sighed. "I know if something's wrong. Please, talk to me." The girl bit her lower lip."I...I got my English exam back." She said quietly, looking at the floor as she shyly drew circles on the red carpet with the tip of her shoe."So? How did it go?" John asked, leaning against a shelf. "Apparently not so good, right?" Flora raised her head and looked at him with teary eyes."Dad, I... I studied so much and..." John knelt down and took her tightly in his arms."Sh. Don't cry, my darling. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know you studied a lot for this exam. English just isn't your thing, is it?" She nodded and sniffed. John gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Come on, let's sit down." The two sat down at the sales counter. "Show me the exam, darling. Maybe we can do better next time, okay? And please stop crying. It's just a school grade. I'm not mad at you." John handed her a tissue. Flora sniffled and wiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand before reaching into her school bag and pulling out a white sheet of paper. She handed it to her father with shaking hands. John sighed deeply when he saw the big red D on the top right of the paper. He looked over at his daughter. The girl had studied so hard for this exam but English grammar just wasn't her thing and John didn't know enough about it to teach her properly. Don't get me wrong, John could read and write wonderfully. But when it came to grammar, he had absolutely no idea. John read through the exam and sighed before pulling out a pen and signing the exam to show the teacher he had seen it."I have something else for you, Dad." Flora said quietly."Another bad grade?" John sighed."No!" She called immediately and handed him a white envelope. John looked at it with interest. It said in neat handwriting:
For Flora Illsley's parents
John swallowed hard."Who gave this to you?""My...my English teacher." She said quietly. John nodded and opened the envelope before pulling out the letter. He began to read.
Dear Mr. Illsley,
As you probably just heard from your daughter, she did very poorly on the grammar test. I'm afraid I have to tell you that she will fail this school year if she doesn't get better grades in English soon. I would love to meet with you in my office if you can find time. Flora told me that you are very stressed about your work. Flora is a smart girl, Mr. Illsley. I'm sure we can find a solution to the problem. Just call the school and arrange a time to speak to the secretary. I look forward to meeting you.
Yours sincerely,
M. Knopfler (English Department, East London Primary School)
John looked up from the letter and bit his lower lip."What does it say, Dad?" Flora asked. John sighed deeply."Your teacher wants to meet with me.""Will you marry him, Dad?" The girl smiled. John stared at her in shock."What!? What the hell made you think of that!?""Well, you said he wanted to meet you." Flora grinned and shrugged."Not for a date! He wants to talk to me about your grades!" John shouted."Oh." Flora said sadly. She had been wishing for a long time that her father would finally be remarried and that she would have a new mother or a loving second father. But John didn't seem interested in a new marriage."Go up to the flat. I've cooked you something. It's on the stove. I'll call the school." Flora nodded and picked up her school bag before going up the stairs. John sighed loudly as he picked up the phone and turned the dial to dial the number. He heard it ring as he held the receiver to his ear and crossed his feet on the table top. It took a while before a female voice said:"East London Primary School. My name is Ravenwood, how can I help you?" John smiled."Hello. My name is Illsley. My daughter Flora Illsley is in the fourth grade at your school.""Which class exactly?" The woman asked politely."Class 2B.""Okay. Wait a minute, I'll find the file." John heard a rustle of paper before she said: "Yes, I have the file here." John nodded before realizing she couldn't see it. "What is your request, Mr. Illsley?""I would like to set up an appointment to speak with Flora's English teacher." The woman hummed over the line."That would be Mr. Knopfler." She trilled, after looking at the file."Er...what is he like?" John asked, biting his lower lip. He hadn't had a good experience with English teachers. They were always old, bitter men who beat the children and were angry for every little mistake. Mrs. Ravenwood laughed."Mr. Knopfler? Oh, he's quite a warm-hearted teacher. He only teaches at the school three days a week. He's not a full-time teacher, you know?""Oh." John said stupidly."Well, Mr. Knopfler's appointments are Wednesday and Friday. Which day would suit you better, Mr Illsley?" John thought for a while."Friday sounds good.""Okay. Is 2 p.m. okay for you?""I'll make it happen." John said."All right. Next Friday then. Friday October 9th at 2 p.m.""Great. Thank you, Mrs Ravenwood.""You're welcome." Said the voice. "Goodbye." With that, John hung up the phone. John sighed deeply. Damn, he hated talking to teachers. But what the secretary had said about Knopfler calmed him down a little. Knopfler was probably an old 60-year-old man who didn't get enough of a pension and was therefore a part-time teacher. Well, as long as he didn't hit the children, John didn't care how old the man was.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The week flew by. John had almost forgotten that today was the meeting with the teacher when Flora came home at 1:30 p.m. John was sitting on his chair behind the sales counter, his eyes closed, he had fallen asleep. Flora giggled at him."Dad!" She called and shook his shoulder. John grumbled and moved a little uncomfortably. "Dad! Get up! I'm home! It's already late!""Mh." John grumbled and opened his sleepy eyes. He rubbed his tired eyelids and yawned loudly. "What... What's wrong, honey?""Dad, it's Friday!" Flora called."So what?" John grumbled and stretched in his office chair."Didn't you have a date with Mr. Knopfler today?" John's eyes shot open and he stared at her in shock."Shit!" John screamed, instantly wide awake. He stormed up the stairs to the apartment and combed his hair. Flora watched him, giggling. John had long curls that grew like a halo around his head. They looked like French wigs. "What time is it, Flo?" John asked tensely as he pulled on his suit pants and a shirt. He buttoned his shirt with shaking fingers, charged with adrenaline."It's..." Flo looked at her watch. "It's 1:40 now.""Shit. The appointment is at 2 p.m." John cursed tensely. He quickly put on his shoes and grabbed a tie, as well as his jacket. "I'll be back soon. Look after the shop, okay?""Yes." Flora giggled. John stormed out of the store and ran as fast as he could down the sidewalk, trying to tie his tie.*10 minutes later, John arrived at the school building, panting. He still had ten minutes. That was good. The tall curly-head entered the school and looked for a bathroom. John splashed some water on his face and drank a little from the tap before adjusting his tie and straightening his suit jacket. Damn, why was he so excited? And why was it so important to him to make a good impression? John looked at himself in the mirror and sighed deeply before leaving the bathroom and going up the stairs to the office. On the way, three people came towards him.Two older women, John guessed they were in their mid-fifties. One woman was wearing a short skirt and a blazer. Both in purple. The other woman was wearing a long blue skirt with a white blouse. Both were wearing black high heels. John smiled politely at them. A young man was walking between the two women. John guessed he was in his mid-thirties. About the same age as himself. The man wore a dark green suit, a white shirt, and a gold and green striped tie. He wore brown dress shoes. The flaxen hair on his head looked like it was slowly falling out as his hairline was receding. But what caught John's eye were his eyes. Damn, they literally glowed from his face. They were light blue and reminded John of the opal blue necklace his mother always wore when he was a child. His eyes were breathtaking. John shook his head and tried to distract himself. The man laughed with the older women."What are you doing here, Mr?" Asked the woman in purple."The school should have closed long ago." Pondered the woman in the blue skirt."I...er...I have an appointment." John said, clearing his throat."Today? On a Friday? Do you know anyone who has office hours on a Friday, Joan?" The woman in purple asked, looking at the other woman."Yes. Actually. I have office hours today." The man said, smiling. Dimples formed in the corners of his eyes as he smiled and John felt his heart skip a beat. Holy shit, this man was damn attractive. There was something about this man that turned John on and he didn't know what it was. But this feeling of butterflies in his stomach...it scared Illsley. He hadn't felt it in a long time, the last time was when...damn it, John! Concentrate! His mind shouted at him."Really? Why the hell are you having office hours on a Friday, Mark?" Joan scoffed, in the blue skirt. The man...Mark...shrugged."I'm at school on Friday anyway. So why not. Could it be that you want to come to me, Mr?" He asked, looking at John with a smile. John swallowed hard. That smile... bloody hell."Eh... depends on who you are." He said with a dry mouth."Oh. How rude of me." The man grinned and held out his hand. "Mark. Mark Knopfler. I guess you're Flora's father, right? You're the only one I have an appointment with today." John nodded and shook his hand. Holy shit, his hands were so comfortable. They were rough, but they were so warm and John couldn't help but notice how perfectly their hands fit together. John pulled back and felt his cheeks heating up."We're going home then, Mark!" Joan called, waving to him before the two women disappeared down the stairs."Well, Mr. Illsley. Let's go to my office. I actually wanted to use the bathroom, but...""Oh, go to the bathroom!" John exclaimed, biting his lower lip. "I can wait here." Mr. Knopfler gave him a crooked smile."If you don't mind...""No. Of course not." Knopfler smiled."All right. Then I'll meet you right outside the yellow door, down this corridor." He said, pointing into a long corridor. John nodded and set off. His heart was pounding fast in his chest and he had to lean against the wall and take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Damn, what was wrong with him? Ever since he looked into that man's eyes, he couldn't breathe properly and his heart was pounding like crazy. What the hell was wrong with him!?It wasn't long before Knopfler came back. He unlocked the office door and led John in. John looked around. It looked like a simple teacher's office. There were a few plants on the windowsill, a small blackboard, a calendar, a cupboard and a desk. Knopfler sat down behind his desk. John sat down on a chair in front of the desk."So, Mr. Illsley." Knopfler said. "I'm Mr. Knopfler. Your daughter's English teacher." John nodded with a dry mouth. "What's wrong? Did you imagine me to be different?" He teased and John felt his heart warm."Well, I thought...""That I was older?" Knopfler teased and raised an eyebrow. John nodded, embarrassed. Knopfler laughed. "Oh, I hear that a lot. I'm actually a journalist, you know?" He smiled. "But to earn a little extra money, I teach. Last year I taught English at a university, but this year there were no free places left. That's why I'm here now." John nodded. "But enough about me. You're here because of your daughter." Knopfler opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a folder."I'm aware that Flora isn't really the best at English." John sighed."Oh, don't make her look worse than she is, Mr Illsley!" Knopfler called, leaning back. "She's quite a clever girl. I have her class in music too, and there's nothing she doesn't know." John giggled a little. "Your daughter has a very good general knowledge. And I'm convinced that she's very intelligent. She's also very polite and well-behaved." John felt his cheeks warm up at the compliment. "It just seems that she doesn't have an easy time with English grammar." John nodded, sighing."I swear to you, Mr Knopfler, I'm doing everything I can with her. She studied day and night for the last exam, but... in the end it was still only a D." Mark nodded sympathetically."Grammar is difficult to learn. Children can use grammar without any problems, but they lack the reasoning. Listen, Mr Illsley.""Please, just John." John said, smiling a little. Knopfler smiled at him too."I don't want Flora or any of my students to fail this school year. It's still quite early in the school year, and if we can think of something now, I'm sure Flora can get at least a C on her report card. Maybe even better." John stared at him, mouth open. Knopfler giggled. "As I said. Flora isn't stupid.""Do you...do you have any ideas?" John asked."Well. I think tutoring would be the best solution for her." Knopfler said, leaning back in his chair. John couldn't help but get lost in those beautiful blue eyes. Holy hell, he had never seen eyes like that in his life. "Mr. Illsley? Are you still listening to me?" John snapped out of his daydream."I'm sorry. I was lost in thought. What did you say?""Well, tutoring is a good solution. I can give you some phone numbers for private tutors." Knopfler said, pulling a piece of paper out of his drawer. John bit his lower lip hard as he watched the teacher write on the paper. John noticed immediately that Knopfler was left-handed. John didn't know many left-handed people. Somehow that just made the smaller man even more special."Mr. Knopfler, I..." John bit his lower lip as the teacher handed him the paper. "I have to be honest with you...I can't afford a private tutor. Otherwise Flora would have had tutoring a long time ago." Knopfler nodded thoughtfully."Well, I thought so." John felt himself getting a little angry."Why!? Because my suit isn't made of as fine material as yours? I work as hard as any man in this country." He mocked. Knopfler remained calm and smiled gently."No. Not because of that. I can see that you care a lot about your daughter. That's why I think that otherwise you would have found her a private tutor a long time ago." John felt ashamed of himself for getting so angry. Of course this...damn perfect man hadn't meant to insult him. Shit, this English teacher wasn't just hot and perfect, he was also understanding. "You know..." Knopfler took a deep breath. "Actually, I'm not allowed to because I'm her teacher, but... I could tutor Flora." John stared at him in shock."Why would you do that?" He asked quietly. "And especially if you're not allowed to." Knopfler shrugged."I like your daughter very much, Mr. Illsley. She's a very excited girl. Many of my colleagues don't like their students to be full of energy. I, on the other hand, find it unbelievable because that's how children should be. Curious and full of energy. I want your daughter to get good grades, you know?""How much..." John swallowed hard. "How much money would you want per hour?" Knopfler giggled a little."Oh, please. I'm not in a great financial position myself, but I won't charge anything for it.""That's not possible!" John shouted immediately. "I don't want that." Mark nodded silently."All right." There was silence between the two for a while. "Well...that's all I really have to discuss with you, Mr. Illsley." Knopfler said and stood up. He held out his hand to John. The taller man stood up awkwardly and shook his hand. "Please find someone for Flora who can help her. Maybe an older student from the 10th grade or something like that. It would definitely help her." John nodded silently."Have a nice day, Mr. Knopfler.""I hope you do too, Mr. Illsley."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The weeks went by and John didn't think much about the teacher anymore. Nor about his daughter's English deficit. He had his hands full. It was just before Christmas and it was already snowing outside. John had a lot of work. The shop was busy every day as people bought Christmas presents. It was just before the Christmas holidays. John was in the back of the shop helping an elderly couple find a certain record of brass music when he heard the bell above the door."Flo! Please take care of the customer!" John called across the shelves before concentrating on his search again. But his daughter was already on her way."Good day, sir. How can I help you?" Flora asked with a smile before the man turned around and she gasped excitedly. "Mr. Knopfler?" She beamed. Mr. Knopfler had become one of her favourite teachers. She loved his lessons. It wasn't boring like with the other teachers. He made jokes and often had the children work in groups. Flora loved that. "Mr. Knopfler!" She ran towards him. Knopfler, who was dressed in a long black coat, smiled at her and knelt down. She hugged his neck."Hello little one. What are you doing here?" He smiled. He had built a close bond with all of his students, but he still got on a little better with Flora."This is my dad's shop." She beamed."Oh. Really? I didn't know that." Knopfler smiled."You're not wearing a suit, Mr. Knopfler." Flora said in surprise as the man straightened up again and opened his thick winter coat. He was wearing black jeans and an equally black long-sleeved shirt. The first three buttons were open. He looked very thin. The girl had never noticed that in his thick suit."No." Mark giggled. "I only wear suits at school, you know?" She nodded excitedly. "Well, I'll have a look around, okay?" Flora nodded again and sat down at the counter. From there, she watched her English teacher walk down one of the long aisles and look through the many different vinyl records. John came to the counter and took the record from the older couple before taking a sip from a water bottle that was behind the counter."So? How's business going, my love?" He grinned and gently stroked Flora's curls, which were tied into a neat French braid today."Mr. Knopfler is looking around a bit." She smiled."Mr...Mr. Knopfler?" John asked with wide eyes and stared at his 7 year old daughter."Yes." She smiled. As if on cue, the man came to the counter. John's breath caught. Shit, he looked hot. John couldn't help but notice the flawless skin of his chest and neck, as well as his stunning eyes. For weeks he had tried to forget this man. Had tried to forget his feelings. But now that this man was standing in front of him...shit, now he knew what was wrong with him. He was in love. "Dad!" Flora shouted, waking him from his daydream."Er... what?" He asked, baffled. Knopfler giggled a little. "I'm sorry, I was lost in thought.""That happens to you a little bit often, right?" Knopfler teased."Mr. Knopfler...""Please. Call me Mark, Mr. Illsley. We’re not at school." He smiled and held out his hand to John."In that case, I'm John." John said lamely. Flora watched with a smile. Mark smiled at him."I'm looking for a very specific record, John." He said and John felt his heart skip a beat when Mark said his name. Damn it. He had fallen in love with his daughter's English teacher. What the hell!? John swallowed hard."Y...Yes?""I'm looking for the “Loving You” album by Elvis Presley." Mark grinned. "I've been to many stores, but I couldn't find it anywhere.""I...I think I reordered that album a few weeks ago!" John shouted, jumping from his chair and falling over his legs, but Mark caught him. John's heart was pounding like crazy as he was pressed against Mark's body. He stared into those light blue eyes and held his breath. Mark smiled gently at him. John couldn't help but notice that their two bodies fit together perfectly. He shook his head quickly, trying to banish that thought."Are you okay, John?" Mark grinned."I...uh...yes." John nodded quickly and let go of Mark before quickly running into the store's warehouse. His face felt like it was on fire. Holy shit! He behaved like a schoolboy in love and was 35 years old! John tried to calm himself as he ran his fingers through the vinyl records. It took a while, but soon he found the right album. He pulled it out of the box and went back into the shop. He had to smile when he found Flora playing, tic tac toe, with Mark as if he were her best friend...not her English teacher. John had never seen a teacher who had a friendly bond with his students. Mark was indeed something special. "Here!" He called, handing the album to Mark. The smaller man flinched a little, not expecting John, but took the album in his hands with a smile."Thank you." Mark said, turning the record a little in his hands to look at it."That's a very good record." John said. Mark raised his head and looked at him questioningly. "Elvis is great. I've loved him since I was a child." Mark giggled."Me too. I remember in one of my school photos I even turned up the collar of my shirt and tried to shape my lips like he did." The men laughed heartily. John felt his heart warm when he heard Mark's laughter. It was adorable. Mark paid for the record and wanted to say goodbye, but Flora stopped him."Please, Mr Knopfler. Can you stay?" She asked sadly. "The weather outside is also very bad! You could have a car accident or something!" Mark giggled a little. John bit his lower lip."Another time, Flora, okay? I have to go home. It's already late and I still have to tidy up.""Are you sure?" She asked sadly. Mark stroked her head gently."Another time, okay? I know where to find you now." He giggled and raised his head to look at John. John smiled back a little. Mark said goodbye and then left the shop. John watched him through the shop window."Dad?" Flora asked quietly and tugged a little on John's trousers. Illsley looked down at her."Mh?""Do you love him, Dad?""Pff. Don't be ridiculous!" John shouted and giggled a little. "Of course not. He's a teacher.""He's a journalist." Flora corrected him. "At least that's what he told us.""Do you even know what a journalist does?" John laughed."Yes! Mr Knopfler told us that he does a lot of research and is a music critic for the newspaper!" John nodded."How about we make pudding together, hmm?""Pistachio?" She asked, her eyes shining. John nodded, giggling, and held out his hand to her."Pistachio."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
It was the last day of school before the Christmas holidays, in fact it was the last lesson. Flora sat in the front row because they had English. Mark had done a little grammar with the children before he ended the lesson and talked to the children about what plans they had for Christmas. Elton, a little boy with big black glasses, was the one to tell his story:"I'm going to go to my grandparents' farmhouse with my parents and my brother. We celebrate Christmas there every year. They have a huge farm and there's always an incredibly big Christmas tree." Mark nodded and smiled. He sat on the edge of his desk and talked to his students. Or his children, as he liked to call them."That sounds very nice, Elton. Christmas with family is something very special." He nodded. Flora bit her lower lip and raised her hand. "Yes, Flora?" Mark smiled gently at her."I'm spending Christmas at home with my dad. We only have a small Christmas tree, but we're going to make pistachio pudding and listen to music and...I hope it's nice." She said. Mark smiled."I hope so too, Flo. I bet your Christmas will be as nice as everyone else's." Flora smiled and nodded."And what are you doing for Christmas, Mr Knopfler?" Asked a boy named Axel from one of the back rows."Yes! You didn't tell us what you were going to do for Christmas!" Mary shouted in agreement. A murmur went through the class and Mark raised his hands, smiling. It immediately became quiet. The little children watched Mark carefully. Mark was the only teacher whose children did what he said. His colleagues often complained about class 2B and that they were all troublemakers. Mark couldn't say the same."Well, children. I'm spending Christmas at home." He said."With a Christmas tree?" Susan asked excitedly. She was a blonde girl who sat in one of the middle rows."No. I don't have a Christmas tree." Mark said."But why not!?" Flora cried out in horror. "Christmas trees are so beautiful and exciting and...""I haven't celebrated Christmas for many years." Mark explained, trying not to show his sadness, but it came through anyway. The children screamed wildly. "Children, please. Be quiet." The teacher giggled. A boy from the back left row raised his hand. "Yes, Mathew?""Why don't you celebrate Christmas, Mr Knopfler?" He asked eagerly. "Are you Muslim or something?" Mark giggled, as did the rest of the children."No. I'm a Christian. But you know..." Mark took a deep breath. "Many years ago, at Christmas." He bit his lower lip. "My parents and my two siblings died in a car accident." The children all gasped."How old were you, Mr Knopfler?" Josephine asked quietly."I was 14 years old at the time." Mark said calmly."What happened to you after that?" Axel asked. Mark shrugged."I went to the children's home.""You grew up in the children's home?" Flora asked with wide eyes. "But it's terrible there and...""Shh. My dear." Mark smiled. "I grew up, see? I'm 35 now. I grew up anyway.""Is that why you don't celebrate Christmas, Mr Knopfler?" Mathew asked sadly. Mark bit his lower lip and nodded."Yes." He cleared his throat and tried to chase away the sad mood among the children. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't all have a nice Christmas, my dears." He smiled. "And I have something for you all too." Mark went to his briefcase and undid the clasps before reaching in and pulling out a bag. The children whispered excitedly. Mark smiled as he walked through the rows, handing each child a chocolate bar."Thank you."“Thank you, Mr Knopfler.”“Thank you very much.” Mark smiled as he handed everything out and sat back down on the table. Mark looked down at his watch."Well, we have about two minutes left. In closing for this year, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, lots of fun in the snow, hope you stay healthy and a Happy New Year. See you in 1986." The children laughed as they ate their chocolate. It wasn't long before the school bell rang. The children quickly put on their jackets, grabbed their school bags and ran out of the room laughing. Mark sighed quietly and was packing up his things when a voice suddenly made him jump:"Are you all alone at Christmas, Mr Knopfler?" Mark turned around in shock to see Flora standing next to his desk. Of course it was Flora. Mark smiled gently at her as he wrapped his scarf around his neck."I'm afraid so.""But...but you shouldn't be alone at Christmas!" She exclaimed indignantly. "You can be with your friends, right?" Mark knelt down and smiled gently at her."Don't worry about me, Flora, okay? I'll make myself some hot chocolate and listen to music and it will be nice, okay?" She looked at him sadly."Are you sure?""Of course, darling." Mark smiled. "Now off you go! It's your holidays!" He called out, laughing, and pushed her out of the classroom. Flora smiled at him."Goodbye, Mr Knopfler! I'll miss you!""I'll miss you too, Flo." Mark smiled and watched the girl run quickly out of the school.*When she got home, Flora changed and then came down to the shop to talk to her father."So? How was your day at school?" John smiled and took a sip from his teacup."Great. Look what Mr Knopfler gave us!" She called excitedly and showed him the small chocolate bar. John stared at her. Chocolate wasn't exactly cheap at the moment."Mr Knopfler gave you this?""Mhm." Flora nodded. She carefully opened the silver paper and broke the chocolate in half. She gave one of piece to John."This is your chocolate, darling." John smiled."But I want to share it with you, Dad." She scolded."Okay, my love." So they sat quietly next to each other and enjoyed their chocolate."Dad? Have you ever been alone at Christmas?" She asked sadly. John thought for a while."No, my love. Why do you ask?" He reached out and stroked her head gently."Mr. Knopfler is alone at Christmas. He doesn't even celebrate it!" She exclaimed sadly. John looked at her in surprise."Did he tell you that?" She nodded quickly. "Oh darling, I'm sure he's not alone. He's probably at home with his parents.""Mr. Knopfler's parents died, Dad. When he was 14." Flora said quietly. John's eyes widened. "He told us he grew up in a children's home. Dad, I... I like Mr. Knopfler so much. Is it selfish that I want him as my second dad?" She whispered quietly. John stared at her in shock. His mouth was open, like a fish being pulled out of its pond."Darling, how...how long have you been thinking like that?" He asked carefully. Flora started to cry. "Oh Baby, don't cry." John said sadly and pulled her onto his lap. He hugged her gently."It's not fair, Dad." She sobbed."What's not fair, my darling?" He stroked her back gently."Mr. Knopfler doesn't deserve this. He's the nicest teacher I've ever had, Dad. He doesn't deserve to be alone." John sighed sadly and kissed his daughter's forehead while he gently rocked her in his arms."You know, my darling. Most of the time, misfortune always comes to those who least deserve it." John said quietly. "Don't worry, my love. Mr Knopfler is a grown man. I'm sure he'll be fine and have a lovely Christmas like everyone else.""Are you sure?" She sniffed and looked at him with watery Hazel eyes. John smiled gently."Of course, my love."*A few days after Christmas, John met Mark by chance in a shop."Hello Mr Knopfler!" He called out, smiling. Mark was standing in front of the meat counter and turned around, startled."Oh. Hello John." He smiled gently. "I already told you to call me Mark." He giggled."Yes. I'm sorry." John mumbled, scratching his neck uncomfortably."How is Flo?" Mark smiled."Very well. She's got a bit of a cold, so she stayed at home, but she's doing quite well." Mark nodded, smiling."Oh, poor thing. I hope she gets better soon.""Thank you." John said quietly. There was silence between the two for a while."Well, I'll go then, okay? I guess you still have a lot to do preparing for the New Year's Eve party and so on and...""No! I didn't at all!" John exclaimed, immediately feeling his cheeks heat up as everyone in the store looked at him. "I eh...Flo told me you spent Christmas alone." He then said, biting his lower lip. Mark looked at him curiously, but nodded."Yes. That's right.""What about New Year's Eve?" John asked, feeling his heart beating 100 kilometres an hour. Damn, maybe it was a bad idea to invite his daughter's English teacher to New Year's Eve just because he thought he was hot, but..."Well, I'm home on New Year's Eve." Mark said, shrugging. "Maybe I'll go to a bar or something so I'm not alone and...""You're more than welcome at our house." John explained, smiling. Mark tensed and stared at John in shock."I eh...thanks, I guess." Mark giggled, scratching the back of his head. "But I don't think we should do that, John. I'm Flora's teacher and... well, you know, you were right back then.""With what?" John asked, raising an eyebrow."Well, when I wanted to tutor Flora. We should keep our distance. Teacher-student relationship and all that, you know?" John bit his lower lip. Damn, Mark had just rejected him."Well. You're definitely more than welcome and Flora would be delighted to have you over." John handed him a piece of paper on which he had written his phone number. "In case you change your mind." Mark nodded, smiling. "I like you, Mark." John said, feeling his cheeks heat up."I... I like you too, John." Mark said carefully."I have to go!" John shouted, running away quickly. Shit, his heart was beating so fast he could hardly breathe. Could it be that this hot English teacher liked him too!?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mark hadn't come to visit them for New Year's Eve. But John hadn't expected it either, to be fair. Mark was right. It was banal. He was still Flora's teacher. When Flora came home on the first day of school, she was close to tears."Darling! What happened?" John asked worriedly, but Flora just walked through the shop to the spiral staircase and ran up to the apartment. John ran after her as fast as he could. "Darling! What's wrong!?" He stormed into Flora's bedroom and found the little girl on her loft bed. She was lying on the mattress and sobbing. John climbed the ladder into the bed and lay down next to his daughter. "Darling, what happened?" He asked worriedly. Flora turned around and cried into John's chest. "Sh. Calm down. Everything will be fine. Sh." He hummed, rubbing her back gently. "Everything will be fine." Flora cried for a while longer before playing sadly with John's curls. "What happened, my love?" John asked again and kissed her forehead."Mr. Knopfler wasn't here today." She whispered softly."No? Why?" John asked, baffled. "Didn't you have English today?""Yes. Yes, I did." Sniffled the little girl."Then why wasn't he there?" John whispered, still gently stroking her hair."We had a substitute teacher. She told us she would teach us until Mr. Knopfler got back from the hospital.""Hospital?" John whispered, wide-eyed. His heart ached. Over the last few weeks he had realized that he had fallen head over heels in love with this man. But how the hell was he supposed to tell him!? Something like: Hey, you're my daughter's sexy English teacher and I'd like to take you to my bed!? Damn, John was fucked. "Why is he in the hospital, honey?" John asked worriedly."I don't know." She whimpered quietly. "But I and the others are really worried." She whispered."The others?" John repeated quietly."The others in the class, Dad." Flora said, sitting up in bed, sniffling. "We all like him very much, Dad. And we don't want to lose him as a teacher, you know?" John smiled a little and kissed her forehead."Don't worry, my love. You definitely won't." He said confidently.*A few days later, after the whole class had complained to all the teachers, Mrs Ford, the teacher John had met on the stairs, wearing a purple blazer, decided to take the children to the hospital. It wasn't easy to convince the nurses to allow 25 pupils to go into a tiny hospital room. But somehow they had managed it. And here they were. All 25 pupils were standing in the hallway with small gifts, waiting to see their favourite teacher. Something very unusual, as pupils usually didn't like their teachers at all. Flora loved her teacher, but she was still as bad at English as ever. Mrs Ford carefully opened the door and looked inside.There was a single hospital bed in the room, which was pretty much in the middle. A middle-aged man was lying in it. Next to him was a heart monitor that signalled his heartbeat with a beeping sound. A blood transfusion was stuck in the back of his hand. His eyes were closed. Knopfler was wearing a hospital gown, the blanket pulled up to his chest."Okay, kids. You can go in, but you have to be quiet." Warned the nurse. But her warnings were in vain when the children saw their favourite teacher. They all stormed into the room screaming."Mr Knopfler! Mr Knopfler!" They all screamed at once. Mark opened his eyes wearily and was shocked to find that he was surrounded by children. They were all standing around his bed. Mrs Ford had closed the door and was standing in front of it. She smiled gently at Mark."We missed you so much!" Josephine cried and put her hand on Mark's forearm. The teacher groaned weakly. His forearms were bandaged and even the slight pressure sent pain through his body."What...what...what happened?" Mark groaned weakly and tried to sit up, but let out a loud groan. The children's chatter stopped immediately and they looked at the man worriedly. Mrs Ford came to the bed."Take my hand, Mark." She said calmly. Mark did as he was told and was slowly pulled up by her. She put a few pillows behind his back and smiled at him. Mark nodded gratefully at her. Now he recognized the children. They were his children. Mark felt a few tears in his eyes."Children, what are you doing here?" He croaked."We were very worried about you, Mr Knopfler. We wanted to see how you were doing." Elton said, who was standing right next to Mark on his right side. Mark smiled gently at the little boy.“How are you, Mr Knopfler?" Flora asked quietly. She stood on her tiptoes to look into the bed and all she saw was that her English teacher looked pretty worn out. Tired and dejected. She bit her lower lip sadly."I'm much better, Flo. You don't have to worry about me, children." He said. The children brought out their little presents. Chocolate, biscuits and bouquets of flowers. Flora gave Mark a small teddy bear. Mark smiled gently at her. "Thank you, children." Mark said with tears in his eyes. "You’re all special and very unique." The nurse came and told the children that they had to leave."Get well soon, Mr Knopfler!" The children shouted almost in unison and then left the room."Wait for me in the hall. I'll be right there!" Mrs Ford called before the door closed. She walked sadly towards her colleague and took Mark's hand in hers. She gently stroked the back of his wired hand. She had known Mark for a long time and he had become like a son to her. "What have you done, Mark?" She asked quietly, her voice filled with tears. Mark closed his eyes tightly."I...I was so lonely and my demons caught up with me, I guess." Mark said quietly. "I...Christmas brought back all the horrible memories." He whispered. "Shit, I'm so useless and unwanted in this world. I'm so alone." Mark began to sob."Hey. No, honey. Don't say that." Mrs Ford cooed. "That's not true. You're not unloved. I and the whole staff love you." She said gently, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "You're our golden boy." Mark giggled weakly. "And the kids love you too. Damn, they whined so long that I took them to the hospital. They see something in you, Mark. I don't know what it is. But they see something in you that fascinates them. They love you. Get back on your feet and leave that terrible past behind you." Mark sniffed weakly."I'm sorry.""There's nothing to apologize for." She hummed softly and hugged him again. Flora, who had been standing at the door and overheard the adults' conversation, bit her lower lip sadly. Mr Knopfler felt unloved? But they all loved him!*About a week later, Mark came back to class and the children couldn't be happier. They all threw themselves on his neck and hugged him, which made the teacher laugh. In the end, they were all his children.*It was already late in the evening and John was sitting in the kitchen. He was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. Flora had already been in bed for an hour. Suddenly the phone rang. John looked around in shock. Who on earth would call him at this time of night!? Illsley stood up and went to the phone before putting the receiver to his ear."Illsley.""Good evening." An enthusiastic voice called out."Er...who are you?" John asked, confused."Mark. Mark Knopfler." John put a hand over his face."Of course. Sorry, Mr Knopfler." Mark giggled a little. "Why are you calling?""Well...the next English test is coming up and Flora's grades haven't really improved." Mark said carefully. John bit his lower lip. "Well, and I wanted to offer to help her again. If you want that, of course.""Mr. Knopfler..." John said quietly."For Free!" Mark shouted. "I just want her to pass the year. Right now she's the only one in the class who's failing." John bit his lip hard. Bloody hell! His daughter was the only one who was going to fail class two!? Damn, that would break her heart and at the same time it would be so damn humiliating!"Mr. Knopfler...I'll think about it. I promise." John said."I'm glad. But I have another question..." Mark muttered and bit his lower lip hard."Yes?""I...er...would you be free next Saturday evening?" John gasped sharply. "I...I was wondering if we could go out for dinner together...if that's not too much trouble for you.""To talk about Flora's grades, I guess..." John said carefully."I eh...we can do that too, of course, yes." Mark nodded."Too?" Illsley asked and couldn't help but grin. Damn, he loved this man. He was so ridiculous. "Is it a date?""I eh..." Mark stammered."I'll think about it. Thank you for calling." John grinned. "Good evening to you." With that, he hung up. John dropped into the kitchen chair and couldn't help but grin like a damn idiot. Could it be that his daughter's English teacher was in love with him!?*As John was having breakfast with his daughter the next morning, he looked at her over his coffee cup."Darling?""Mh?" She hummed and ate another spoonful of colourful cereal."How about taking English lessons? You shouldn't fail English, my darling." Flora stared at him with wide eyes."Tutoring?" She asked disgustedly. "But Dad...""Not even if Mr Knopfler was your tutor?" John asked, trying to hide his grin, but he barely managed it. Flora stared at him with her mouth open. "That's gross, Flo! Swallow your cereal before you open your mouth!" John scolded and pointed at her with his fork. Flora quickly swallowed her cereal."Tutoring with Mr Knopfler?" She asked again."Mhm. He offered it. On the condition that you don't tell anyone, because he's not actually allowed to do that. I'm afraid you urgently need tutoring, darling." Flora jumped excitedly from her chair."Yes! Yes, I'll take the tutoring!" John smiled and nodded. He handed her a white envelope."Here. Give this to Mr Knopfler today, please.""What's in there, Dad?" Flora asked, shaking the envelope a little, but she couldn't see anything."Don't always be so nosy." John teased with a grin.*When Mark was handed the envelope by Flora the next morning, he smiled at her and put it in his briefcase. He didn't open it until he got home from the newspaper office that evening. He was tired. This double job was absolutely wearing him out. But he desperately needed the money. Mark collapsed onto his sofa and sighed deeply before pulling the envelope out of his pocket and unfolding it. Mark smiled as he began to read:
Dear Mr Knopfler,
I've spoken to Flora about your offer and she agrees. On the condition that you and no one else is her tutor. Cute, right? My daughter really likes you. But I'm afraid she's not the only one who really likes you. I have to admit that I also find you very likeable and attractive. That's why I'm happy to accept your offer for next Saturday. Please write to me what time and where we'll meet so that I can take Flora to her grandmother beforehand. I'm really looking forward to finally getting to know you properly.
Best wishes,
John Illsley
Mark smiled as he held the letter in his hands. Did he really have a chance? Could it be that he...that he finally had found someone who loved him? It all sounded like a dream.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The week flew by and before Mark knew it, it was already Saturday. He had been nervous all day, looking for clothes to wear. When he was just too desperate, he called his only buddy, Pick. It took about half an hour for him to show up at Mark's apartment door. Mark excitedly shooed him in. Pick just laughed as he was pushed into the bedroom of the small apartment and sat down on the bed."So... what do you need me for, buddy?" Pick teased."Well, I'm... I'm going on a date." Mark said, blushing a little. "Well, at least I think it is." Mark handed him the letter with shaking hands. Pick took it and read it through before grinning."Tutoring? You're only doing this so you can see that John guy more often, right?""No. That's actually not true, Pick." Mark said seriously. "Flora is a very nice girl and I don't want her to be the only one in the class to fail just because her father can't afford tutoring. That would be unfair." Pick nodded silently. He knew that Mark cared about his students very much."Okay. And you're going out with Flora's father today, right?""Mh." Mark hummed and bounced on the balls of his feet."What does he think you are like?""How should I know?" Mark laughed. "I met him three times in person. The first time was at office hours. I was wearing the green suit. The second time was in his record store. I was wearing a black shirt and black jeans...""And what was his reaction to that?" Pick grinned and crossed his arms in front of his chest."Well, eh... he kept blushing and eh... stammering." Mark said, blushing quite deeply himself. Pick laughed."Well, then you already know what you're wearing, don't you? Where are you going to take him?""I was thinking of a café." Mark said. Pick shook his head quickly."Bad idea, mate! Go to a restaurant with him or something." Mark sighed deeply."Pick, that's damn expensive and...""Love is expensive, my friend. If you want him, you should be able to impress him." Mark sighed."Damn you're right.""Of course I am!" Shouted the older man. "I'm always right!""Oh, piss off!" Mark laughed and got a pair of black jeans out of his closet, as well as a black shirt. He put both on. The fact that his friend saw him in his underwear didn't bother him much. "Satisfied?" Mark asked, turning a little in front of him after he had threaded a belt and tucked his shirt into his waistband. Pick stood up and opened the first four buttons on Mark's shirt, revealing his creamy skin."You're going on a date, Knopfler. Not to church. You can show some skin." Pick said, dead serious. "Put on your western boots and that black leather jacket you have.""All in black?" Mark asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow."Trust me! He'll love it!" Pick called and made his way to the kitchen to find something to eat. "And put on your cologne!"*An hour later, Mark was sitting in his car, a dark green VW Golf 1, waiting in front of the record store. It was already getting dark outside, as it was only spring and the sun was still setting very early. The store was closed. Mark had read the sign hanging in the door at least 100 times in the last few minutes. Mark sighed deeply. Damn, his nerves were frayed. Why did he feel so weird? Yes, he...he kind of had a crush on the record salesman, but...holy hell! The door of the record store opened and John came out. He was wearing a beige trench coat. John locked the door behind him and then scanned the street with his eyes. Mark quickly leaned over the centre console and opened the passenger door."Hey!" He called out loudly. John jumped for a moment, but then smiled when he saw Mark. John ran towards the car and bent down to look inside."Hey, Mr Knopfler.""Oh damn it, John. We're going out tonight. Can't you just call me Mark?" The smaller man scolded. John giggled a little before nodding. "Come on. Get in the car. It's cold outside." The curly-haired man nodded and sat in the passenger seat before closing the door and smiling at Mark. Mark tried to ignore that, as he was already quite dizzy from John's beauty. A smile would probably make him faint."Where are we going?" John asked after Mark had started the engine and started driving."Ah, a restaurant in West London." Mark said seriously as he turned a corner."West London? It's damn expensive there." The taller man thought. Mark giggled a little."How is Flora?""Well, pretty good, I guess." John smiled. "She's really looking forward to her first tutoring session." Mark felt his cheeks heating up."Oh right. We still have to make an appointment and...""No rush." John giggled gently. Soon they arrived in front of a large building and got out. John looked around in amazement. It was a nice restaurant. Mark led him inside and went to a waiter to tell him about his table reservation. The waiter led the two to a table for two, which was behind a nice big aquarium. Mark pulled out a chair for John after taking his coat. John smiled a little and sat down. Mark hung their coats on the coat rack and then sat opposite him. They ordered drinks and soon they had found the right food."Well, Mr. Knopfler. I don't know very much about you." John grinned and ran his finger over his beer glass. Mark's cheeks blushed a little."I know even less about you, John." He teased."Well, there's not much to tell." The curly-headed man giggled. "I was born in Leicester.""Oh that's near Birmingham, right?" Mark smiled. John nodded quickly. "Is it nice there? I've never been to Leicester nor Birmingham.""Well...it may not be the prettiest part of England, but it has something very special to me. Where were you born, Mark? London?" Mark shook his head, grinning."I'm not even English, technically." He laughed."No?" John asked, wide-eyed. "Are you an expat?""No." Mark giggled. "I couldn't teach otherwise. I'm Scottish. I was born in Glasgow." John stared at him, wide-eyed."Really? Scotland is so beautiful! I was there as a teenager!" John exclaimed in amazement. Mark giggled."But when I was seven, my parents and siblings moved. I grew up in Newcastle." John nodded, interested."And what was that like? Was that a big difference for you?""I can't really remember, John." Mark giggled."Can I ask you something, Mark?" John asked quietly. Mark nodded and took a sip of his beer. "Flora told me why you don't celebrate Christmas." Mark tensed up a little. "Did you really grow up in a children's home?" Mark took a deep breath. "You don't have to answer me, of course! I don't want you to feel uncomfortable tonight or anything." Mark smiled."It's okay." He assured. "Well, my family died on Christmas 1964." Mark sighed. "It snowed heavily and the car skidded. My mother died instantly, they told me." Mark looked down at the table. John bit his lower lip, worried. "My older sister died at the scene of the accident. My little brother died on the way to the hospital." Mark swallowed hard. "My father died in the hospital. Before I managed to get there." Mark felt tears welling up in his eyes and his voice began to break. "I...I’m sorry." Mark giggled weakly and wiped his eyes. "I get emotional sometimes." John looked at him sadly and reached across the table to take Mark's hand. He gently stroked the back of his hand."You don't have to apologize. You’re very strong." He assured him gently. Mark smiled weakly and took a deep breath."Well, after all that happened, the rest of my remaining family turned away from me. My mother's parents didn't want to raise me and my father's parents did, but they lived in Hungary.""In Hungary?" John asked with wide eyes. Mark giggled."Yes. My father was a Hungarian architect who fled to Glasgow during World War II because he was Jewish. That's where he met my mother. She was a primary school teacher.""Just like you." John smiled. Mark laughed."Well... I'm a journalist, you know?" John giggled but didn't let go of Mark's hand. "Well, and that's how I ended up in the children's home." Mark shrugged. "It wasn't an easy time, but I survived.""I'm so sorry." John said sadly. Mark smiled gently at him."It's not your fault. You don't have to apologize." John nodded silently. There was silence between the two for a while. "Oh damn, I ruined the whole evening." Mark giggled and let go of John's hand to lean back in his chair. John giggled."You didn't. Don't worry.""How are things with you?" Mark smiled. "Can I ask where Flora's mother is?" John sighed. Mark's eyes widened. "Oh damn, John, I'm so sorry.""Don't worry, she didn't die, Mark." John smiled. "She's just...after Flora was born and I held her in my arms for the first time, my wife told me in the hospital that she was going to divorce me because she loved another man." Mark's eyes widened. "She didn't want anything to do with Flora either. She told me to give Flora up for adoption or take care of her myself. She didn't care." Tears rolled down John's cheeks. "I loved her, you know? I..." Suddenly the waiter came with the couple's food. He looked quite worried when he saw John crying. Mark smiled reassuringly at the waiter. When he had left, Mark gently took John's hand."You did a great job with Flora, okay? She's a wonderful girl and she's growing up to be a wonderful woman. If your ex-wife didn't want to see that happen, then that's her fault, not yours. She doesn't deserve a man like you and a daughter like Flora if she didn't realize what she'd lost." Mark gently stroked the back of John's hand with his thumb. "Don't worry. You're doing great." John smiled weakly."You think so?" He whispered quietly."Of course." Mark nodded and grinned encouragingly. "Now let's eat, okay? Before it gets cold."*After dinner, the conversation between the two men was much less depressing. They laughed and told stories from their childhood. Talked about their hobbies and more. John's cheeks kept heating up, as did Mark's. They were quite shy as they talked about everything under the sun. Towards the end of the evening, Mark paid for the meal, although John wasn't entirely happy with it. The taller man decided to pay next time. Wait... next time? As the two stood outside the restaurant, Mark slowly reached out and took John's hand. The curly-headed man looked at him in shock. Mark looked at him out of the corner of his eye and grinned as they made their way back to the car."Did you enjoy the evening, John?" Mark smiled as he unlocked the car. John nodded, smiling."It was very nice. I enjoyed it." They got in the car and drove off. An Elvis cassette was playing on the radio and the two hummed along happily. Soon they arrived in front of the record store. But John didn't get out."Has something happened?" Mark asked worriedly, looking at him."I...I don't want this to end here." John said quietly. "Mark, you are...you are an incredible man." He explained shyly. "You are very attractive and intelligent and I...""Thanks. Same to you." Mark grinned and winked at him. John started to laugh. "Don't worry. You'll see my ass a few more times when I tutor Flora.""Ah, right! We haven't set a date yet!" John exclaimed. Mark giggled."How about...Tuesday night at 5 p.m.? Does that sound good?" John thought for a while."Yes. Sounds good." Mark got out of the car and opened the door for John. "Good old-fashioned lover boy, huh?" John teased."You like Queen?" Mark asked excitedly."Of course! I'm a record dealer with good taste in music!" The two men laughed. Mark accompanied him to the front door. John unlocked the door and smiled at Mark. "I really enjoyed the evening with you, Mark." He said gently. Mark smiled shyly at him. "Maybe...maybe we could do it again?""Of course!" Mark called out, smiling. "Whenever you’re in the mood for it.""I’m always in the mood for you." John sighed in love. His eyes widened in shock when he realized what he had said. "I...I..." Mark burst out laughing. He leaned forward and kissed John's cheek."The feeling is mutual. Good night, John. I like you." With that, Mark ran back to his car and drove away, waving. John stood rooted to the spot in the doorway to his shop. He stared after the taillight of the small car. A silly smile formed on his lips as he slowly raised his right hand and placed it on the cheek Mark had kissed.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The following Tuesday was the day. John had tidied and cleaned the apartment. At 4 p.m. he closed the shop and set to work cooking something. Outside it was pouring with rain. Flora sat impatiently in front of the window and looked out onto the street. Big raindrops ran down the pane of glass and she followed them with her little Hazel eyes."What time is it, Dad?" She asked. John was standing in front of the stove cooking spaghetti."It's now a quarter to five. Why?" John stirred the sauce in the pot and watched his daughter with a smile."I can't wait for Mr Knopfler to come!""You mustn't forget that he's not here for fun, young lady! You'll be learning English for at least the next hour. Do we understand each other?" He asked somewhat sternly. Flora nodded silently and continued to look out the window. She sat on the little bench in front of the window and looked out onto the street. "Have you got your things ready? English book, a notebook and a pen?" John asked."Mhm." She hummed in agreement and pointed to the kitchen table. John nodded contentedly."I want you to behave properly when he's here, okay?" Flora looked at him in disbelief."Of course I will, Dad! Are you actually going on a date with Mr Knopfler again?" John, who had just drunk some water, almost spat it out in shock."WHAT?" He asked, shocked. Flora giggled."You were on a date on Saturday, weren't you? That's why I had to go to Grandma's." John felt his cheeks warming. "If you're nice, Mr Knopfler might invite you again." The little girl thought about it and then looked out the window again. She brushed some of her unruly curls out of her face. Today she hadn't braided her hair. "Dad! There he is! Look!" She called excitedly. John quickly ran to the window and looked down. A man in a black coat got out of a dark green small car that had been parked across the street. John couldn't help but smile. His heart warmed when he saw Mark running across the street. Before John had fully realized it, Flora had already jumped up and was running down into the shop. A few seconds later, he heard the doorbell ring. John giggled a little as he pulled away from the window and went back to the stove. He stirred the sauce and bit his lip. Damn, his heart was beating really fast. It took a while. John could hear his daughter's voice in the hallway. She was talking very excitedly to her teacher. John smiled when he turned around and saw Mark standing in the hallway. The younger man was soaking wet. Water was running down from his hair and dripping from his big coat."Good evening." Mark smiled at him. "I'm sorry for the mess I'm making here." He said shyly, looking down at the puddle of water."Don't worry. It'll dry." John giggled. "Flo, my love, help Mr Knopfler with the wet clothes please, will you? Hang them up in the bathroom." Flora nodded quickly and took the big coat from Mark. She also took his wet shoes and brought both into the bathroom so they could drip into the bath while they dried. John had turned back to the stove and was a little startled when Mark stood next to him and kissed him on the cheek. John's cheeks immediately turned red. Mark grinned at him. Wrinkles formed around his mouth and eyes. John giggled a little. "Sit down." John said, pointing to the kitchen table. Mark nodded. John looked at him more closely and bit his lip. Mark was wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt tucked into his waistband. Also a brown belt and blue and white striped socks. But what caught John's attention was not just the outfit. Don't get me wrong, Mark looked fantastic in these clothes. But Jon bit his lower lip hard, as the white shirt was wet and he could see Mark's nipples through the linen fabric. The white fabric seemed almost transparent and stuck to his chest. The smaller man didn't seem to notice. He sat down on one of the chairs and smiled at John. "Want something to drink?" John asked, swallowing to calm himself down."I thought I was supposed to teach English. I didn't know that would get dinner too." The teacher teased. John giggled."Well, I thought since you're doing it for free and you're probably just coming home from work, I might as well cook you something. Have you eaten anything today?" Mark shook his head, grinning."No. I just came out of the office. You bet right." The men giggled a little. Mark folded his arms on the table and looked around the room. "It's very nice here. I didn't know that the apartment above the shop was so big.""We own the whole house." John said. "My grandfather left it to me. I am very grateful to him. It makes my financial situation a little easier." Mark nodded understandingly."It's also hard to find an apartment in London. So you were lucky." Mark giggled. Shortly afterwards, Flora came running out of her room and sat down on the chair next to Mark, smiling. She sat at the head of the table. Mark sat on the long side of the table next to her."Have you studied today?" Mark asked her, smiling. She pulled a face. Mark laughed."I had Mrs Collins in maths today." She said disgustedly. John watched the two of them, smiling. He could get used to it. Mark and him...together with Flora...a small family...John quickly shook his head. No! He was used to being alone with his daughter."Don't you like maths, Flo?" Mark asked, stretching out his arms to take the glass that John handed him. His eyes didn't leave the girl, however. Mark poured some apple juice into his glass before mixing it with water."Yes! Maths is fun!" She exclaimed. "But I don't like Mrs Collins! She's so...she's an asshole!""Flora Elizabeth Illsley!" John exclaimed angrily. "Where did you get words like that from!?" Mark burst out laughing. John's cheeks turned red with embarrassment. Flora grinned cheekily at her father."What? It's true!""Still, you don't say things like that! Besides, Mr Knopfler is your teacher! Not your friend!" John exclaimed. Mark giggled a little."Well...we're not at school, John." He smiled. "I don't like Mrs Collins either." Flora laughed and moved her feet happily under the table. John rolled his eyes."You’re not helping, Mark." Mark shrugged."Can I call him Mark too?" Flora asked. Mark turned his head and looked at her."No!" John shouted immediately. "For you, it's Mr Knopfler!""But you call him that too, Dad." The girl pouted."Don't argue with me, young lady. Get a plate and get the food ready." Flora jumped up from her chair and got plates from a cupboard. Mark giggled. Flora put spaghetti on a plate and poured sauce over it before putting the plate in front of Mark."Thank you." He smiled. Flora made another plate for herself and her father. Then she sat down. John rolled his eyes. He stood up and got cutlery."Enjoy your meal." John said. Flora rolled her eyes, which made Mark giggle."Enjoy your meal." They started eating and it was quiet for a while. “How are the record sales going, John?” Mark suddenly asked.“Mh.” John grumbled and swallowed his noodles. “Very well. A new delivery came yesterday.”“Oh. Really?” Mark asked with interest.“Yes. Including Queen records.” The curly-head grinned. “If you want, we can look at them later.” Mark smiled.“I don’t know. It’ll be quite late before we’ve finished English.” Mark looked at Flora. “I don’t want to disturb you too long. It’s enough that you’re having dinner with me.”“We don’t mind at all, Mr Knopfler! Dad really likes you anyway!” Flora called out happily.“Flora.” John hissed with red cheeks. Mark giggled a little and continued eating.“It tastes very good.” He then said.“Thank you.” John smiled shyly.“Do you cook at home too, Mr Knopfler?” Flora asked with interest. Mark giggled.“Not very often, little one. I hardly have time for that sort of thing.”“But what do you eat then?” She asked, her eyes wide. Mark shrugged.“An apple, a piece of bread. I go to the school canteen every now and then.” John looked at him worriedly.“But then you’re always hungry!” Flora exclaimed in shock. Mark giggled.“Don’t worry about me. I’ve gotten by with less.” After dinner, John cleared the plates and wiped the table so everything was clean. Flora had run into her room to get a dictionary when John noticed that Mark still had some Bolognese in the corner of his mouth.“You still have sauce there.” He said, pointing at Mark.“Oh.” Mark grumbled.“In the right corner of your mouth. Wait.” John got a napkin and leaned over the table before wiping the stain. When Flora came into the room, she saw the two men pressed quite close together. They stared into each other's eyes and didn't say a word."I'm back!" She called. John immediately pulled back and his face turned red. Mark giggled a little before taking Flora's books and pulling them towards him. Flora sat down on her chair and waited patiently. John decided to give them some space, so he got the novel he'd been reading for a few weeks and sat down on the sofa in the living room. From here he could still see the two of them. Mark had the book open and was leaning over it. Flora sat next to him, dangling her feet as he began a lesson with her. John smiled. God...he didn't know why...but Mark's presence made him feel like...like his family was finally complete again. John closed his eyes and imagined Mark coming home every day and being happy to have warm food. How he kissed John not just on the cheek but on the lips when he greeted him. How he wrapped those big rough hands around John's hips and gently pulled him towards him. Damn. John woke up from his daydream and was shocked to see that Mark was no longer in his place. The curly-headed man stood up and went to his daughter. Flora was working on homework in her workbook. John gently stroked her hair."Where's Mr Knopfler?" He asked, bewildered."He had to go to the bathroom." She said, concentrating. John nodded silently."How's it going?""Pretty good. I think I've understood this lesson. Mr Knopfler said I should do these exercises and if they're right, then we're done for today.""Already?" John looked at his watch and was shocked to see that Mark had already been here for two hours. It was already 7 p.m. Flora had been studying for an hour and a half. Hardworking girl. They heard the toilet flush and shortly after, Mark came out of the bathroom. His shirt sleeves were rolled up so that his shirt wouldn't get wet since it was dry again. Mark yawned quietly as he sat back down in his seat and watched Flora. John stood behind his daughter."Ready!" Flora called out happily."Already? Well then let me see." Mark smiled and held out his left hand for the workbook. John's eyes widened when he saw Mark's forearms for the first time. There were scars. Thin white scars that were far too straight to have been caused by an accident. They were scars that had been inflicted with a blade. John gasped sharply. Mark raised his head and looked at him questioningly before noticing that his sleeves were still rolled up."Shit!" Mark shouted angrily and quickly pulled his shirt sleeves back up over his arms. John felt tears in his eyes when he saw the scars on Mark's right forearm too."Mark...""I... I have to go then." Mark said tensely. He stood up and almost tripped over his own feet."But Mr. Knopfler, what about my tasks?" Flora asked innocently."I..." Mark reached for the workbook. "I'll give it back to you on Thursday." Mark quickly ran into the bathroom and got his coat and shoes."Mark." John said sadly as he leaned in the doorway. Mark tried to get past him. "Mark, calm down." John reached out to him. Mark tried to hold back his tears."I'm sorry you had to see that.""You don't have to be sorry. Really not." John said calmly and reached out his hand to him. He carefully placed it on Mark's shoulder and squeezed it gently."I'm really sorry." Tears started to fall from Mark's eyes and he quickly wiped them away."Hey. Come here." John said softly, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. Mark whimpered weakly but accepted the hug. John smiled, noticing how perfectly they fit together. Mark's head rested against John's temple. John gently stroked his back and hummed. "It'll be okay. You don't have to explain it to me if you don't want to." John said softly. "And if you need someone to talk to...I'm always here, okay?""Thanks, John." Mark sniffed and took a deep breath when he had calmed down a bit."Do you...do you want to stay the night? We have a guest room." John said, smiling."I...another time. I have to do a few things at home, you know?" Mark said quietly."Okay." John nodded. "When do you want to have your next lesson with Flora?" Mark swallowed hard."You want...you still want me to be here after you saw...""Mark. That doesn't change anything." John smiled. Mark nodded silently. "How about Thursday, huh? I'll cook something nice again and you two beauties will study English grammar." Mark giggled a little and nodded.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Friday it was that time again. Mark was visiting again. John had cooked fish fingers with potatoes because he hadn't had much time, but Mark didn't seem to mind. They talked for a while until Flora's English lesson started again. But this time it didn't go as well as the last time. Flora didn't understand the topic. And that made her frustrated. Mark tried to think of all sorts of ways to explain it to her, but she just couldn't understand. At some point she started to cry in despair. John was downstairs in the record shop and so Mark was left alone with a seven-year-old girl. The teacher was more than overwhelmed. Flora cried and cried and angrily pushed her English book away. Mark quickly jumped up and got a tissue for her. He knelt on the floor next to her and gently stroked her thigh."Come on, love. Calm down. English is no reason to cry." He said gently. But Flora didn't calm down. Mark gently rubbed her back."I just don't understand!" She exclaimed angrily."I know. But that's not your fault, honey. That's because I didn't explain it properly." Mark hummed. "It's not your fault, okay? Come on. Calm down." Mark gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with his handkerchief. He looked at his watch. It was already 8 p.m. Very late for the little girl. "You know what? It's already very late. Maybe it was all just too much for you at once." Mark gently stroked her cheek. "Come on. Let's put you to bed." Mark gently lifted her up in his arms. Flora immediately snuggled into his neck and enjoyed the smell of his cologne. Mark smiled as he carried the girl into the bathroom. Flora brushed her teeth and combed her hair. Mark watched her do this before gently stroking her head. "Better?""Mhm." She hummed with the toothbrush in her mouth. When she was finished, Mark lifted her into his arms again. "You are very strong, Mr Knopfler." Flora said, fascinated, stroking his tense biceps. Mark's cheeks turned red."Er...Thanks, Flo. Where’s your room?" And so they set off. Mark turned on the light and then put the girl up on the loft bed. Flora pulled the blanket over her body and yawned. Mark watched her, smiling. "Good night, little one. Sleep well.""Good night, Mr Knopfler." The girl yawned and held her stuffed animal closer to him. Mark smiled as he left the room and closed the door quietly behind him. Mark went back to the kitchen and tidied up a bit before getting his things and going down the stairs to the shop. "John!?" He called into the empty shop. There was a rustling sound for a while before the taller man came out of the warehouse. He looked at Mark in surprise before smiling."Are you finished yet? That didn't take very long." Mark put his bag on the floor and smiled at John."Nah. Flora got frustrated because she didn't understand my explanations. So she started crying. I'm afraid it was all a bit too much at once. I put her to bed." John smiled."Oh. Yes, she got up very early this morning. Maybe it really was too much.""I've cleaned up the dishes and I'm going now." Mark said. "Thanks for dinner, John.""You want to go already?" The taller man asked in surprise. Mark shrugged."You must be tired too and...""No! Not at all! Come on! Stay a little longer. You're home alone and so am I. So why don't we talk for a while. Do you want a coffee?" John went to his coffee machine. Mark nodded, giggling. And so the two men found themselves about ten minutes later, sitting cross-legged between two long shelves. They were sitting on the floor, as the whole store was covered with a red carpet. John had turned on the record player and Johnny Cash was playing quietly in the background. Mark leaned his back against a shelf and stretched a little. "How are you?" John asked. Mark smiled gently."Good. And you?""Not too bad either." Mark nodded in agreement. "Mark, I... I think we need to talk." John said tensely."Talk? In what way? We're talking right now." The smaller man teased."Mark." John sighed. "I know that you... that you have feelings for me. Otherwise you wouldn't make so much effort with Flora. Damn... you took me on a date." Mark bit his lower lip and held his breath. "I think we should talk about our feelings. Things can't go on like this..." Mark swallowed hard. "I...I like you very much." John said. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest. He could even hear his heartbeat in his ears. John slowly stretched out his hand to the smaller man."John, I...I don't know..." Mark took a shaky breath. "I really like you too." His cheeks turned pink. "But...""But?""I...I don't know if I...if I should do this with you.""Why not?" John asked quietly."I..." Mark took a deep breath. "My past is catching up with me. I'm not as perfect as I may look to others on the outside. I..." Mark took a breath to calm himself down. "Damn it, I don't have to pretend to you. You've...you've seen it." Mark waved weakly at his wrist, which was hidden under the light blue shirt fabric he was wearing today. "I..." John reached out and gently placed his hand around Mark's left wrist. He stroked the blue fabric with his thumb."That's not important to me, Mark." He said softly. "Your past...whatever happened that made you feel like you had to do this...it's not important to me, you know? I live in the here and now? And when I look at you, all I see is a young, attractive man who has never gotten the love he deserves in his life." Mark swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. Suddenly the carpet seemed very interesting. "Mark, you have to tell me how you feel.""It doesn't matter how I feel." Mark said quietly. "It...it's not possible." He swallowed hard. "I'm going to be bad for you and your daughter sooner or later. She's still so young and you're...you're wonderful, John. You deserve better than me. I don't want to ruin your little family and besides, I'm Flora's teacher and...""Stop it." John said sternly. Mark raised his head weakly and looked at him. "Stop saying things like that. Mark, we were only on one date. I don't know much about you. But I know that you think very little of yourself. But that's wrong. You're a special man. Do you think I fall in love with every man that comes along? At first it was just your eyes. Because damn, they are beautiful and breathtaking. But then...then I saw how loving you are. I don't know any teacher who is missed by his students when he's in the hospital. Flora loves you. She told me that she wanted you as her second father and I...I would like to have you by my side too." Mark felt tears in his eyes and quickly looked back down at the floor so as not to show it."John, you don't understand." Mark squeaked quietly. "I...I'm broken. I'm...when I'm home alone, I'm anything but happy and...that's a facade, John.” Mark pointed weakly at himself. “That's not me." John swallowed hard and gently stroked Mark's wrist."Then show me who you really are, Mark.""Then you wouldn't want me anymore." The younger one whispered."Mark, nothing you tell me could change my feelings." Mark swallowed. There was silence between the two for a while."You're in love with me?" Mark asked quietly when he had finally processed John's words. John's cheeks turned dark red and he looked down at the floor for a moment. "John?""YES!" John simply exclaimed. His heart was pounding like crazy in his chest as he stared into Mark's opal blue eyes. "Yes, I love you." Mark's eyes were huge as he leaned against the record shelf behind him with a gasp. "I was in love with you from the moment I first saw you at office hours." John took a deep breath. "I know this is all a bit sudden because...well, I met you about half a year ago and we've been on a date, but...but we don't really know each other." Mark took a deep breath and slowly took John's hand in his."John, I...I feel the same way." He said quietly. "But I...I don't know how this is supposed to work.""What do you mean?" John asked quietly."I'm Flora's teacher." Mark sighed. "I'm...I'm at work all the time. I leave my apartment at six in the morning and sometimes don't get back until 10 p.m. I work two jobs and barely have any time for myself. You'll feel neglected in no time and..." John put his index finger on Mark's lips."Sh. Don't say anything more." He said quietly. "Mark, all I want is a chance." John carefully took Mark's left hand and pressed it to his chest. Mark's eyes widened as he felt John's heartbeat under his fingers. "All I want is for you to give us a chance. I know it would hurt if it didn't work out, but...please...let's try. Nobody has to know about our relationship. We don't even have to tell Flora. We can...we can try it out first and...if it doesn't work out, then...""John." Mark breathed softly."Sh." John whispered. "I...I love you. With all your faults. And you'll see that I have faults too. But please give us a chance." Mark swallowed hard. "It doesn't matter that you're Flora's teacher. Teachers are allowed to fall in love too, you know?" John teased. Mark giggled a little. John carefully reached out his hand and stroked Mark's flaxen hair. Mark closed his eyes for a moment. “It’s up to you, handsome.” John whispered. There was silence between the two for a while before Mark nodded silently."Okay." He whispered."What did you say?" John asked."Okay. Yes, let's try." Mark nodded. John smiled gently at him and stroked Mark's wrist again. "Let's try.""Can I... kiss you?" John asked quietly. Mark bit his lower lip. John's eyes were fixed on Mark's plump lips. God, he had longed for those lips for so long. Mark nodded silently. John smiled as he put his right hand on Mark's neck and gently stroked the soft skin there before closing his eyes and slowly leaning forward. John's heart was beating wildly in his chest. The moment their lips were only separated by a few millimetres, they suddenly heard a high voice:"Dad!" The two men immediately pulled apart. And not a second too soon, because at that moment Flora came around the corner. She held her stuffed kangaroo in her hand and rubbed her tired eyes. "Dad, why are you sitting on the floor with Mr Knopfler?" She asked sleepily. John quickly jumped up and ran towards his daughter."Why are you awake, honey? You should be sleeping." He put a hand on her shoulder."I had a nightmare." She murmured sadly, holding her stuffed animal closer to her chest."Oh poor girl. Do you want to talk about it?" He asked gently, leading her away from the shelf. Mark quickly picked up his bag and coat and waved to John before walking out of the shop. John lifted his daughter onto his hip and turned to smile apologetically at Mark through the shop window. Mark smiled and raised his hand to his ear in a phone gesture. John nodded quickly and gave him a thumbs up before smiling and putting his daughter back to bed.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Two more weeks passed in which Mark didn't tutor. He had called John and told him that he didn't have time. It was a Saturday when John picked up the phone and called Mark. The phone rang for a long time and John was about to hang up when he heard a faint voice over the line:"Knopfler.""Hey! You're still alive?" John teased. "I've been trying to reach you for a week." There was a soft sigh on the line."Sorry." Mark said quietly. John bit his lower lip."Anyway, Flora is staying at her friend's this weekend. I was wondering if we...if we could go out or if you wanted to come to my place." There was silence again for a while. "Mark? Are you still there?""Yes." Mark coughed loudly over the line."Are you okay? You don't sound well.""I...I'm fine, don't worry." Mark croaked. John could hear that his nose had to be stuffy. Otherwise his voice wouldn't sound like this."Mark, are you sick?" John asked worriedly."I...I don't know." Mark groaned softly."You were at school, right? Flora didn't tell me you were absent.""Yeah, I was at work." Mark gasped before gasping for air and coughing again."Honey, you're obviously not feeling well." John said worriedly. His eyes widened as he realized what he had said. "I...should I come over? I can bring you medicine and we can watch a movie or something. Like I said, I'm alone all weekend.""You'll catch it." Mark croaked."Oh, come on. You probably just have a cold. That never killed anyone." Mark shook his head vigorously before realizing John couldn't see."No." He croaked. "I have tonsillitis." Mark coughed again. John bit his lower lip."Tonsillitis? And you still taught? Doesn't your throat hurt?" Mark tried to croak something, but no sound came out. "Honey. We have two options. One, you come to me and I'll take care of you. Or two, you tell me your address and I'll come to you and take care of you there." Mark coughed a little on the other side of the line before a pained groan could be heard."You'll get infected.""I don't care. You're not well and you can't be home alone in this condition. Make up your mind. What do you want to do?""I..." Mark coughed sharply. "I'll come to you.""Great." John smiled a little. "Pack a few things for the weekend and don't forget the medication. When will you be there?" There was silence on the line. "Mark?""Yeah, eh...I...30 minutes?""Okay. See you soon. I love you.""Love you too." Mark croaked tensely. John smiled gently.*John had unfolded the sofa bed in the living room and padded it with pillows and blankets. He picked out a few films and put water on to make some tea before standing in front of the window and looking out. Damn, he had thought that they would go out to a restaurant today and have fun. That he and Mark would finally share their first kiss. But if Mark was sick...then the kiss would have to wait. John's gaze switched impatiently between his watch and the window. Where is he? He asked himself. 40 minutes had already passed when a small green car stopped in front of the store. John smiled excitedly and quickly ran down the stairs to the store before running out onto the street. When John reached the car, however, his smile disappeared. Mark was sitting behind the wheel with a hand in front of his face. He seemed to be having trouble breathing. His face was red, as was his nose. John took a fearful breath before opening the car door. Mark would have fallen out of the car if John hadn't caught him."Damn it, Mark!" John shouted angrily."John?" Mark whispered weakly, looking at him with cloudy eyes. John put a worried hand on Mark's forehead."You have a fever." He said worriedly. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? You drove here? You could have just given me your address!" Mark groaned weakly. "Can you walk?" John asked worriedly. Mark swung his legs out of the small car and slowly pushed himself up against the side of the car. John put an arm around Mark's waist, worried. The younger man was shaking like a leaf. "How long have you been sick?""A week?" Mark croaked."You've had tonsillitis for a week, you went to work and you didn't think to call me!?" John exclaimed indignantly."I didn't mean to bother you." Mark muttered."Mark, we're a couple now, have you forgotten that?" John asked sadly. "I love you. I know we haven't kissed and all, but...I love you. And I'm worried about you, damn it.""I'm sorry.""Come on now. Let's go inside." John sighed. "Where's your bag?" Mark shakily pointed to the trunk. John nodded and took the duffel bag out of the trunk before locking the car and leading Mark inside. Soon the two found themselves in John's living room. Mark was sitting on the sofa, holding a cup of tea in his shaking hands. "How bad is it?" John asked worriedly. He held a flashlight in his hand and told Mark to open his mouth. The younger man opened his mouth and let John look into his throat. "Damn it, Mark! Your tonsils are bigger than Mount Everest! Everything in there is swollen!" John exclaimed in horror. Mark giggled a little tensely. "Wait, I'll get you an ice cream or something." John stormed off and came back shortly afterwards with a popsicle. He helped Mark sit comfortably in the pillow nest and then gave him the ice cream. "Thanks." Mark murmured. John gave him a soft smile before turning to the TV."What movie do you want to watch? I thought we'd have a movie night since we can't go out." John sat on the floor in front of the dresser where the TV was. "I have here..." John pulled out a couple of video cassettes. "Highlander- there can only be one, eh... Indiana Jones 1 and eh... well, a children's film by Flora." John giggled a little. "What do you want to watch?" John turned to look at Mark and froze. The younger man was sitting on the sofa, sucking on his ice cream. His cheeks were hollowed out as his lips wrapped around the colourful ice cream. John felt his face heat up. Holy shit. Mark was beautiful. John's brain imagined those lips wrapped around something else and... Suddenly he realized that Mark had pulled the ice cream out of his mouth and was talking to him. John shook his head quickly. "Excuse me, what did you say?" He asked."Indiana Jones would be funny. I haven't seen the first movie yet." Mark said, smiling. John nodded and put the video cassette in the cassette player before turning on the film and sitting down next to Mark. John touched Mark's forehead worriedly."When you've finished your ice cream, we'll take your temperature. Have you taken any painkillers yet?""Paracetamol." Mark said quietly. "But six hours ago." John nodded."Okay. So I'll give you paracetamol. Did the doctor give you any antibiotics?" Mark nodded and pointed to his travel bag. John stood up and rummaged around in it a bit until he found the small plastic bag with the medication. Mark finished his ice cream and leaned over to put the wooden stick on the coffee table. John checked his temperature and was a little worried. He had a fever of 39°C. The older man administered the painkillers and antibiotic before getting a blanket and putting it over Mark."I'm too warm." Mark moaned quietly as he tried to throw the blanket off him."I know, honey. But you have a fever. So I have to keep you warm so you get better soon." John put the blanket back over him and helped Mark lie down. Soon John was sitting on the sofa while Mark's head rested in his lap."Why do you call me that anyway?" Mark asked quietly after a while. His eyes were focused on the movie."What do you mean?" John asked quietly and gently stroked Mark's temple."Why do you call me... honey?" Mark turned his head a little and looked at him."Don't you like it? I thought that since we…since we both agreed that we wanted to try a relationship, we could…we could give each other nicknames.” Mark smiled a little.“My mom called me that sometimes.” He said quietly. John smiled sadly.“I’m sorry you lost her, Mark.” He gently brushed some hair from Mark’s face. “I bet she would be very proud of you.” Mark giggled a little.“I don’t know.” He croaked.“I’m sure.” John said firmly. “Mark…do you love me?” He asked quietly. Mark turned back onto John’s lap and looked up at him. His blue eyes softened.“John, I…I already told you that I do. I’m just worried that…that this won’t work out between us.”“Oh Mark.” John sighed quietly. “There’s no reason it shouldn’t work out. I love you, you love me. That's all we need. We can take things slowly in the relationship. Just little touches and stuff to start with, if that makes you feel more comfortable. We'll get to know each other better before we kiss." Mark smiled a little."That sounds nice." He breathed before he started coughing and his face twisted in pain."Oh honey." John said sadly and handed him the cup of tea so he could drink some. "I think you should sleep. Maybe you'll feel a little better then." When Mark had drunk it, he lay back down and soon fell asleep. John gently stroked his head with his fingers and watched the film. A smile formed on John's lips. Shit...his daughter's English teacher was sleeping on his lap and they...they had both said they loved each other. How did this all happen?
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The next morning, the phone rang at 7 a.m. John rolled over in his bed, groaning. Mark had stayed on the sofa. He had slept so soundly and seemed to be in a lot of pain, which is why John had let him sleep on the sofa. The nest of pillows in which Mark was lying was more comfortable than John's old bed anyway. When the phone rang again after five minutes, John got up, groaning. He went into the hallway where the phone was hanging and held it to his ear."Illsley." He mumbled sleepily and rubbed his eyes."Hello John. This is Lea." John bit his lower lip. Not good. Lea was Josephine's mother. And Josephine was Flora's friend, with whom she had stayed overnight. "I'm sorry to wake you up, but the girls have had a fight and just won't make up, no matter what I try. I think it would be best if you came and picked Flora up. Is that okay with you? Or should I bring her over?" John sighed deeply."I'll come pick her up. Sorry for the inconvenience, Lea.""Don't worry." The woman giggled. "You know them both. Within a week they'll be best friends again." John giggled. He hung up and quickly changed in his bedroom. As he was about to go down the stairs to the shop, he noticed movement out of the corner of his eye. John turned around, only to see Mark. The smaller man stood on shaking legs in the living room doorway. His neck was swollen and looked like he'd been stung by a swarm of bees. Mark rubbed his eyes tiredly. He was still wearing the gray sweatpants and white shirt he'd worn the night before. His hair was messy."John?" Mark croaked before grabbing his neck in pain. John looked at him sadly. "Where are you going?" John walked over to him and gently took his hand."I'm picking Flora up. Apparently she had a fight with her friend, so she's coming home earlier than planned." Mark bit his lower lip."I'll be gone before you get back, okay?" Mark croaked and tried to turn around, but John stopped him in shock."Baby no! You're staying here!""But Flora will see me and...""I don't care, Mark. You have the worst tonsillitis I've ever seen in my life. Damn, your whole throat is swollen." John gently placed a hand on his forehead. "And you still have a high fever. I won't let you be home alone in this condition. And that's exactly what I'm going to tell Flora." John led Mark back into the living room. Mark sat down on the sofa, shaking. John got him a glass and a bottle of water. "Here. Go to sleep, okay? It'll be a while before I get back. Do you want to watch TV?" Mark shook his head weakly. "I'll give you the remote anyway." John said, pointing to the remote on the coffee table. Mark slowly lay back on his pillow nest. John smiled gently at him. "Rest, okay? I'll make sure Flora is quiet when we get home." Mark smiled gently at him."Thank you, John.""Of course, honey. I love you." Grinned the taller man.*"And then she said I was stupid for not wanting to play with her dolls!" Flora shouted, upset. John was on the way home with his daughter. The little girl was carrying her backpack on her back and waving her hands in the air angrily. "Dolls are stupid, Dad! Cars are much better, but she didn't want to acknowledge that and then we had an argument!" John giggled a little."Don't worry. She'll notice that cars are great.""Do you think so?" Flora asked, looking at the floor. They turned into their street and soon they were standing in front of the shop. John rummaged in his trouser pocket and looked for his key. Flora looked around the street before she saw a green VW Golf with wide eyes. Right on the side of the street. Wasn't that Mr Knopfler's car?"Are you coming?" John asked and waited patiently for his daughter. He stood in the doorway of the shop. Flora nodded quickly and ran inside. John locked the door behind him. "Honey, I want you to be quiet and not scream, okay?""Why?" Flora asked in surprise."Just do it, please." John sighed. The two went up the spiral staircase and soon they were in their apartment. They took off their shoes and jackets. Flora ran into her room and John ran into the living room. He smiled when he saw Mark's blond head lying on the sofa. The younger man was asleep again. John grabbed the door handle and closed the door quietly before going into the kitchen and starting to make breakfast. Toast with eggs and bacon. He also turned on the kettle. Shortly afterwards Flora came back into the kitchen.“How long will it take until breakfast is ready?”“Ten minutes, I suppose. The bacon takes the longest.”“Okay! I’m going to see a movie!” She called enthusiastically and jumped up from her chair. Flora ran into the living room.“Wait!” John called after her in shock, but it was already too late. Flora stood in the middle of the living room, astonished, and stared at the figure of her English teacher, who was stretched out on the sofa, sleeping. John ran into the living room.“Why is Mr Knopfler here?” Flora asked in surprise, looking at the man.“He’s not very well. He has a bad case of tonsillitis and a fever. I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and because he was so bad, I offered him to stay with us until he got better.” John said, biting his lower lip. Technically, he hadn’t lied, right? He had just left out a few details. Flora nodded. Her shock quickly faded and she was only worried about the man who was both her school teacher and her tutor. "You're welcome to play here, but please stay quiet and let him sleep, okay?""Okay, Dad." She said quietly. John smiled and kissed her forehead before going back into the kitchen to get breakfast ready. Flora sat down on the edge of the sofa so that she was sitting next to Mark's legs. The blonde was lying on his side, his face turned away from the girl. Flora saw the medicine boxes on the living room table and picked one up. She tried to read what was written on them, but she didn't understand most of it, so she pulled out a tray. They were oblong tablets. Flora pushed a tablet out of the tray and giggled when she saw that the tablets were pink. Suddenly a hand landed on her shoulder. Flora turned around in shock before realizing that it was just Mark. Mark was lying on his side and looking at her. He had turned around."Put that back, Flo, please." He croaked, pointing to the tablet. Flora nodded, ashamed, and put the box back on the table, as well as the pink pill."What's this for, Mr Knopfler?" She asked quietly. Mark smiled gently at her."Antibiotic." He breathed in a weak voice."Dad said you weren't feeling well." She said worriedly, turning to face him. Mark smiled weakly."Don't worry about me.""Your throat looks very swollen." Flora murmured, slowly sticking out her small hand. Mark winced as her cool, small fingers stroked his swollen throat. Mark grinned crookedly at her before groaning in pain. "Wait, I'll get Dad." Flora said quickly, jumping up to run into the kitchen. Shortly afterwards, John came into the living room with a tray full of breakfast and Flora. He smiled gently at Mark. John put the tray on the table before helping Mark sit up."How are you?" John asked worriedly."Throat’s swollen." Mark croaked weakly."I can see that. Can you swallow?" Mark shrugged. John handed him a cup of steaming tea."I put honey in the tea. Maybe that will help." Mark smiled at him gratefully. Flora started eating her breakfast, just like John. Mark kept sipping his tea. When John was finished, he tore a piece of toast into small pieces and handed them to Mark. "Here. You should eat something.""Can't...swallow." Mark croaked and pulled a face. John sighed sadly. Mark took his medication and shortly afterwards he was lying on the sofa again. John was in the kitchen washing the dishes. Flora ran into her room and came back shortly afterwards with a large box. She sat down on the floor in front of Mark and pulled a few model cars out of the box. Mark watched her with a slight smile."Look, Mr Knopfler! That's my favourite car!" She called excitedly and handed Mark a small model car. Mark took it in his shaking hand and looked at it."Let him sleep, Flora!" John called warningly from the kitchen. The girl rolled her Hazel eyes, which made Mark giggle."What's your favourite car, Mr Knopfler?" She asked quietly so John wouldn't hear her."Jaguar E Type." Mark croaked quietly. "Have you ever seen a car like that?" Flora shook her head. Mark smiled a little. "A man in the neighbourhood where I grew up had a car like that. Sometimes he took us with him and drove us around town.""That's cool." The girl marvelled. Mark smiled gently. His eyelids slowly became heavy. The painkillers were starting to work. He was getting tired. "Can I braid your hair?" Flora asked excitedly and clapped her hands. Mark looked at her in surprise. "Dad never lets me braid his hair. Can I try yours?" Mark giggled a little."Have fun." He mumbled before yawning quietly and falling asleep.*Mark woke up to a hand rubbing his shoulder. He opened his eyes sleepily and let out a small yawn."God, you're cute when you're sleepy." Mark heard a male voice say. He stretched a little before turning onto his back and looking at John. The taller man stood over him and grinned at him. Mark rolled his eyes."Where's Flora?" Mark croaked in surprise. John sat down next to him on the sofa."In the bathtub. It's already evening, Mark." John giggled a little. "It's already 8 p.m.""I slept all day?" Mark asked with wide eyes. John nodded, grinning."But your body needed sleep. Are you feeling better?" Mark nodded a little. "I made you soup. Heat is supposed to help with tonsillitis better than cold. At least that's what I've heard." John helped Mark sit up. The younger man slumped back into the pillow nest. John smiled as he stuck a spoon into the soup bowl and scooped out the hot liquid. He blew a few times before holding the spoon to Mark's lips. The younger man sniffed the soup a little. John started to laugh. "This is just normal chicken soup. Do you think I want to poison you?" Mark shrugged before slowly opening his mouth and letting the soup flow into his throat. Mark squeezed his eyes shut and let out a soft groan. "Does it hurt?" John asked worriedly. Mark had a few tears of pain in his eyes. "I think you shouldn't have talked so much this morning. Do you want some more soup?" Mark nodded silently. John smiled and let the soup flow down Mark's throat so that the younger man didn't have to swallow. Soon the soup was finished. Only the noodles and the pieces of meat were still in the bowl. John had only given Mark the broth so that he didn't have to swallow. John leaned forward and kissed Mark's forehead. The smaller man blushed a little. But you couldn't notice it because of his fever. John gave Mark painkillers and antibiotics. "Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? I have a double bed. It's big enough." John said. Mark shook his head weakly and nudged the sofa with his index finger."Flora could see us." He croaked. John nodded silently before getting up and taking the bowl back to the kitchen. Mark also got up."Where are you going?" John asked in surprise."Toilet." Mark croaked."That's not possible, honey." John giggled. "We only have one toilet and it's in the bathroom. As I said, Flora bathes in the bathtub." Mark bit his lower lip. "Is it urgent?" An energetic nod was the answer. "Wait, I'll get her out. She's been in the tub for thirty minutes anyway." Mark dropped down on the kitchen chair and waited. Soon Flora came out of the bathroom. She was wearing a small red bathrobe. Her damp hair curled over her shoulders."Mr. Knopfler!" She called excitedly and ran towards him. Mark smiled gently at her. "Are you feeling better?""A little." Mark croaked before he grabbed his throat and had to cough. Flora looked at him worriedly."Don't worry, darling. Mr. Knopfler has to go to the toilet. In the meantime, you can choose a film for tonight. Does that sound good?" John smiled. Flora nodded excitedly and ran quickly into the living room. Her bare feet slapped against the wooden floor. Mark smiled gently after her before slowly pushing himself up again and going into the bathroom. When John heard the toilet flush shortly afterwards, he entered the bathroom himself. Mark washed his hands, shaking. John looked at Mark worriedly and rubbed his back gently. "Do you want to put on another shirt? This one is soaked with sweat." John said when he noticed that Mark's shirt was soaking wet. Mark shook his head silently. "Your cold will get worse if you leave that shirt on. Do you have another one with you?" A shake of the head. John sighed. "You can have one of mine if you want. It'll probably be too big for you, but that doesn't matter. Is a T-shirt okay for you? Short-sleeved?" Mark bit his lower lip. John waited for an answer and gave him time."Can I have a long-sleeved shirt, John?" He croaked weakly."Honey, you don't have to be ashamed. I know your forearms are scarred. Flora saw it too, but she thinks it's from an accident. No one in this house will laugh or talk to you about it." Mark closed his eyes tightly."Please?" He croaked. John sighed."Okay. Wait here. I'll be right back." Mark sat down on the closed toilet lid and sighed deeply. He ran his hand through his hair, or at least he tried to. He was shocked to see that Flora had braided his hair into small, complicated plaits. Mark had to giggle. Soon John came with a large green shirt. He gave it to him and then left the bathroom. Mark got changed with a sigh. He left the first three buttons undone and let the shirt hang over his waistband. It came down to his knees and covered his entire thighs. Mark giggled softly. Soon he was back on the sofa in his nest of pillows. John had made him a tea and was sitting next to him. They were watching a children's film. John was still quite engrossed in the film when he suddenly felt a head on his shoulder. John looked around in surprise before smiling. Mark had slumped with his back against John's chest. His head was resting on John's shoulder. The younger man was lying between John's legs. John smiled gently and held him close before suppressing a laugh. Flora was lying on Mark's chest. Her head was resting on his chest and she was also lying between his legs. John smiled gently and kissed Mark's feverish forehead before stroking his chest through the light green silk shirt. God, he loved this man. Maybe they would share their first kiss soon.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The days went by, Mark was already feeling much better, although he was still coughing a lot and his throat was still slightly swollen, but at least his fever had gone. It was a Friday evening and Flora was standing excitedly in front of the bathroom mirror."Are you ready, my darling?" John called from the hallway. The girl looked at her pigtails in the mirror one last time and then jumped off the chair she had been standing on before running into the hallway."Yes! How do I look, Dad?" She asked, turning in a circle with a smile. She was wearing a red dress with white dots and red shoes. John smiled gently."You look very beautiful, darling.""Do you think so?" John put on his sneakers and smiled. He was wearing blue jeans and a white shirt and white sneakers."Of course, darling." The two left the house and locked it. Flora was wearing a knitted sweater over her dress, John a coat. They were walking side by side down the street and were on their way to Flora's school. Tonight there was a school party with food and drink. Games for the children and entertainment for the adults. It didn't take long before they arrived at the school. They entered the large auditorium and were surprised by a huge crowd. Flora immediately ran towards her friends, which made John giggle. Adults were standing around drinking champagne, beer and other drinks, the children were playing lots of different games. Flora was soon standing at a foosball table and playing with her friends. John looked around a bit before getting a beer and was actually about to sit down when he suddenly spotted a tall blond man with lots of small children. It was Mark. He was wearing a dark blue suit with white stripes and a red tie. John started to smile when he saw him. Damn, he looked very handsome in that suit. It made his eyes even more striking. Mark was carrying a large basket covered with a cloth. The children swarmed around him."Mr. Knopfler! Mr Knopfler!” John suddenly heard other children shouting and a few seconds later Mark was surrounded by at least 35 children. John started laughing. God, the children really loved him. Mark tried to carry the basket through the crowd of children and said something to them that John couldn't hear over the noise in the large hall. Soon the teacher had carried the basket to a stall selling food. John stood up and decided to go there. Mark stood behind the stall and explained to the children what to do. The children took sandwiches out of the basket and placed them on large plates so people could choose what they wanted. Mark gently stroked a boy's hair.“You did well, Elton.” The boy smiled proudly. Mark took the basket and put it on the floor.“Mark! We need more batter for waffles here!” A teacher shouted from another stall. Mark quickly raised his hand and nodded at her before heading off, almost bumping into John."I'm sorry, I..." Mark mumbled before realizing it was John. "Oh. Hi John." John smiled gently at him. "I was wondering when you were coming.""We were a little late. We just got here.""Where's Flora?" Mark asked."Oh, she's with the soccer players over there." John said, pointing to a crowd of children. Mark smiled. "I see you're busy." Mark sighed loudly and nodded. He took off his jacket and hung it over a chair. John could see Mark's briefcase on the chair. Mark was now only wearing his suit trousers, a shirt and a tie."Mark! We need the dough!" The teacher called again. Mark rolled his eyes, which made John laugh."I have to go. Do you want to come with me?" John felt his cheeks turning red. That would be noticeable, wouldn't it? If he helped? "Don't worry. Other parents help us too.” Mark said, as if he could read minds. John nodded and so the two set off. They walked through the long corridors of the school and Mark held the doors open for John, which made the older man blush every time. Mark giggled at that. Soon they reached a classroom on the ground floor. Mark opened the door and the children's chatter immediately stopped. John saw that they were older students. John guessed they were in 9th grade. “How's it going, kids? More batter is needed upstairs.” Mark said calmly. A girl walked over to a fridge and took out two large bowls of waffle batter.“We just finished these two bowls, Mr Knopfler.” Mark smiled at the girl and nodded.“And there are three bowls in this fridge too!” A boy shouted, pointing to another fridge. Mark nodded.“Well, I think you've done enough for today.” The children looked at him with wide eyes and there was silence for a while. "Get out!" Mark laughed. "Have fun! It's a party!" The children cheered excitedly and barely half a minute later John and Mark were alone in the school kitchen. Mark giggled a little at the children."You're good with children, huh?" John grinned. Mark blushed a little."I don't know." He sighed. "I'm trying my best.""Mark?" John asked quietly. Mark had turned his back to him and was wiping one of the worktops with a rag."Mh?" Suddenly arms wrapped around Mark's waist. John snuggled up to the smaller man from behind and laid his head on Mark's shoulder. His thumb stroked Mark's stomach through the white shirt. Mark moaned softly and laid his head back as John began to kiss Mark's neck. John smiled at the teacher's warm, soft skin. Mark had laid his head on John's shoulder."You’re beautiful." John whispered. "I love you." Mark smiled gently as he looked into John Hazel eyes."You’re beautiful too, you know?" He reached out and gently stroked John's cheek."When does this party end today? You can come to my place later, if you want." John hummed, grinning and pressing more kisses to Mark's larynx. Mark turned around in John's arms. John gently pressed him against the kitchen counter and looked down at him. Mark raised his arms and wrapped them around John's neck."I think it ends in two hours. Because of the smaller students, you know?" John stared at the face he had fallen in love with half a year ago."You’re beautiful." He whispered. "You have the prettiest eyes I have ever seen in my life." Mark felt his cheeks heat up. John raised his hand and placed it on Mark's cheek. "Can I kiss you?" He asked quietly. Mark smiled shyly. "It didn't work last time, remember? And then you were sick. We still haven't had our first kiss.""Yes." Mark breathed and stared into John's eyes."Yes, I can kiss you or yes, you were sick?" John teased and grinned. Mark laughed."Yes, you can kiss me, idiot." John giggled and gently stroked Mark's cheek again before slowly leaning forward. Mark closed his eyes, but before their lips could touch, there was a knock on the classroom door. Mark quickly pushed John away, not a second too late, because a blonde girl looked into the classroom. John's heart was beating fast in his chest. The girl eyed the two men sceptically. They were standing very close to each other and looked like they had been caught doing something."What's wrong, Sarah?" Mark asked, running a hand through his hair."I forgot my bag. I just wanted to get it quickly." Mark nodded. The girl ran across the room and got her bag before saying goodbye and leaving the room. Mark burst out laughing. John looked at him questioningly. The smaller man held on to the countertop, laughing, and tried to breathe in between."What's so damn funny?" John asked, grinning."Somehow fate doesn't want us to kiss." Mark laughed. "Someone always gets in the way." John nodded sheepishly. "Come on, let's get the dough, otherwise Tina will get angry." John nodded, grinning.*An hour of the party had already passed. The headmistress had given a speech and a few children had put on a show. John was sitting next to Lea and talking to the mother when he suddenly saw Mark again in the crowd. He was standing at a table and holding a bottle of beer in his hand. Next to him stood a mother of one of his students. Mark had already been talking to her for half an hour. The brunette had led Mark away from John and asked him to talk to her about her son. Mark thought nothing of it and agreed. Well, John had been watching what was happening for a while now. At first the two had only spoken. But now the woman had put her arm around Mark's waist. The teacher seemed quite uncomfortable, but he didn't dare say anything. His face had turned red while the woman stroked his waist with her thumb and played with his tie. John got angry. He apologized to Lea and stood up. He crossed the auditorium."Hey, you!""Yes?" The woman turned angrily and looked at him."I need to talk to Mr Knopfler. Alone.""Yes? Well, I was here first and neither of us was finished yet." She said angrily and stared at John. But the curly-headed man didn't give in."Well, that's your problem. Coming, Mr Knopfler?" Mark nodded quickly, apologized and went with John. John walked down a long corridor. He had absolutely no idea where he was going. When they were out of sight, John grabbed Mark's hand and pulled him behind him. John pushed open the first classroom door he found and shoved Mark inside before closing it again. They were in the biology room. At least that's what John assumed. The room was set up like a cinema and there were lots of models. Including a skeleton."John, what on earth is going on?" Mark asked as John pushed him down the stairs to the teacher's desk. John pushed the smaller man hard against the green slate and pressed his lips to his. Mark's eyes widened in shock before he grinned against John's lips and closed his eyes. He wrapped his arms around John's neck and hummed. John broke the kiss to gasp for air."You're mine." John growled and pressed his lips to Mark's again. The English teacher whimpered softly. "You're mine and no one else's. We belong together." John couldn't get enough of the lips that he had only been allowed to see from afar for so long. They were so soft and moved perfectly against his own. Mark moaned weakly as John began to slide his tongue into Mark's mouth. Mark lifted his right leg and placed it against John's waist. The record salesman grinned as he reached under Mark's thigh and lifted him up before bracing him against the board. Mark wrapped his legs around John's waist and moaned, as John held him under his bum."I love you." Mark gasped, throwing his head back as John undid Mark's tie and tossed it to the floor. He tugged at the buttons of Mark's shirt until it was halfway open and began to decorate his chest with wet kisses. Mark moaned weakly and clung to him."I love you too." John hummed and kissed Mark's nipple, making the younger man cry out. "You're mine." John kissed Mark's chest eagerly before lifting his head and looking up at Mark. He gripped Mark's thigh tightly through the fabric of his pants and propped him against the board. "Do you love me?" John gasped. Mark smiled gently and ran his hands through John's curly hair."I...I love you, John." John smiled and kissed him firmly again before setting Mark on the floor. He continued to kiss Mark's chest before his hands tugged at Mark's belt. "Wait!" Mark exclaimed. His face was tense and he gently took John's hands in his."What's wrong?" John asked with big dark eyes. He was horny. Damn, he hadn't been this horny since 7 years."John..." Mark stroked his curls. "Not here." He then said. John stared at him for a while before laughing and kissing Mark firmly."I love you, my darling." John wrapped his arms around Mark's waist and pulled him tightly against his body.“I love you too.” Mark smiled shyly.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The days passed and before the new couple knew it, it was school holidays again. This time for two weeks. Flora was at a camp with her friends for the first week. The camp had been organized by their dance club and so John brought his daughter to the camp on Monday and wished her a lot of fun, but from the moment she saw her friends she stopped listening to him. John just smiled. The record salesman had called Mark that same day and asked him to pack a travel bag and then pick him up with his car. Mark had been confused at first, but did what he was told. And so it was that Mark Knopfler was waiting in his green Golf in front of John's record shop. He was wearing sunglasses and smoking out of the window when John came out of the shop. He pulled a small suitcase behind him and locked the record shop. But not before he had hung up a sign that said: We're on vacation! John pulled his suitcase to the car."Hello darling." Mark kissed him on the cheek. He had gotten out of the car and opened the trunk for him. John lifted his suitcase into the car and then closed the trunk again. They got into the car together. Mark threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out before closing the car door. "So Mr Illsley. What the hell is all this about? A duffel bag? A suitcase?" Mark raised an eyebrow and looked at the taller man next to him. John let out a laugh."Don't ask me so many questions and start the engine. I'll tell you where to go.""Okay, Mr Secret." Mark sighed, grinning, and drove off. John navigated Mark out of London and soon the two found themselves on the highway. There wasn't much traffic yet, as it was still early. Mark turned on the radio and drummed his fingertips on the steering wheel. John smiled at him while Mark sang along with the songs on the radio. They drove in silence for a while before John reached into the back seat and got his bag. He rummaged around in it a bit before pulling out a few biscuits and popping one in his mouth. "Can I have one too?" Mark asked, looking at him out of the corner of his eye. John grinned and popped a biscuit into his mouth so that half of it was still visible. He leaned forward and waited. Mark turned his head and looked at him. "John! I'm driving! Just give me the biscuit!" The younger man laughed."You have to earn it." John mumbled around the biscuit. Mark rolled his eyes and leaned forward to kiss John and take a bite of his half of the biscuit at the same time. Both men giggled. John reached out and placed his hand on Mark's knee. He rubbed it gently through the fabric of Mark's jeans. "I love you." Mark smiled gently at him as he rested his elbow on the window and drove with only one hand on the steering wheel."I love you too, you know? But I would love you even more if you told me where the hell we're going." John laughed."Let yourself be surprised, Mr." Mark rolled his eyes. It didn't take long and an hour had already passed. The two of them were at a motorway rest area. John had been whining that he had to pee. So Mark had been looking for a rest area. The car hadn't even parked yet and John had already gotten out. He ran as fast as he could into the gas station, accompanied by Mark's laughter. When John came back from the gas station, Mark was leaning against his car with a cigarette between his lips. He had his eyes closed and was enjoying the rays of sun on his face. John smiled. Shit, he was lucky. John was pretty sure that Mark was the son of Venus. He was just so beautiful it was criminal. John kissed Mark's lips gently. The younger man opened his eyes in shock before giggling. John reached out and wiped Mark's cheek roughly. The smaller man flinched when he felt wetness on his skin. "What the hell?""I peed on my hands." John grinned and sat down in the passenger seat. Mark stared at him."John! What the hell! You didn't! You washed your hands and didn't dry them." John burst out laughing. "Didn’t you?" The curly-headed man shrugged his shoulders. "Didn’t you?" Mark asked uncertainly."Sit down and drive off, idiot." John laughed.*"All we need is: One world wide vision!" The two men sang happily along to the song on the radio."One flesh, one bone, one true religion!" John laughed."One voice, one hope, one real decision!" Mark grinned. John rocked excitedly on his seat, which made Mark laugh."Do you know what I love about the two of us?" John asked slowly."Mh? No idea.” Mark giggled and enjoyed the guitar solo.“We’re both idiots.” John said thoughtfully. h. There was silence between the two for a while before they burst into laughter. "Mark!" John suddenly shouted. Mark flinched."What...what the hell is going on?""Mark! That was our exit!" John screamed, pointing behind him to the exit they had just passed. "You should have gotten off the highway there!""How was I supposed to know?" Mark laughed. "You didn't even tell me where we were going!""Shut up." John grumbled. "So what do we do now?""Stupid question." Mark giggled. He reached out and gently rubbed John's thigh. "We take the next exit and turn around." One word. One man. And so they did exactly what Mark had said. Soon they were driving along the country road. John had calmed down a bit and was eating a sandwich he had had in his bag pack. "I'm hungry too." Mark complained."You're driving." John said, shrugging."And that's why I have to starve?" Mark asked. "My boyfriend’s letting me starve, using me as a taxi driver, and not even telling me what he's up to." John laughed."Okay, okay, okay." The curly-headed man tore off a piece of his sandwich and held it in front of Mark's mouth. When Mark opened his mouth and let himself be fed, he accidentally licked John's finger. The older man immediately felt his face heat up and blush. Damn. Mark grinned at him out of the corner of his eye. It was about half an hour before Mark saw the first town sign that gave him pause. Leicester 5 miles Mark bit his lower lip and looked over at John, who was looking out the window in a good mood. The teacher said nothing, however, and drove on in silence while Eric Clapton's guitar playing could be heard in the car. Soon the little green car reached Leicester. John navigated Mark through the streets until they arrived at a small settlement outside of town. The houses looked quite similar. A large front yard with a wooden picket fence and a house in the same architectural style. "You drive into the driveway over there!" John called, pointing to one of the houses."Which house?" Mark asked, baffled. "The yellow one?""No! The blue one, Mark!" John called, annoyed. Mark giggled a little and did as he was told. He drove into the driveway and parked behind a red pickup truck. Mark turned off the engine and turned his head to look at John."John? What are we doing here?" Mark asked cautiously. "You didn't tell me what was going on and where we were going the whole time. Why I should have packed a duffel bag?" John bit his lower lip."I love you, Mark." He leaned forward and kissed him gently. "I'm very proud to be your boyfriend." Mark blushed slightly. "And that's why I wanted to introduce you to my parents." Mark gasped sharply."John! What the hell!" He screamed. John's eyes widened."I...surprise?""What the hell!? You let me drive all the way to Leicester and then tell me on your parents' doorstep that you want me to meet them?" Mark screamed in shock. John bit his lower lip and felt tears forming in his eyes."I'm sorry if we weren't ready, I...I thought you'd be happy and...I'm sorry." John felt fingers slide under his chin and lift his head. Mark smiled gently at him. He leaned forward and kissed John gently on the lips."Stop crying, you idiot." Mark giggled. "There's no reason to.""I thought you were angry." John whimpered."Oh John." Mark sighed, pulling the taller man into a tight hug. "I'm not angry. But if you'd told me in London what the hell your plan was, I could’ve at least bought flowers for your mother or something." John burst out laughing. Mark smiled and gently rubbed John's back. John wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand to wipe away the tears."There's a flower shop down the street." He sniffed. Mark giggled. He started the engine again and kissed John gently before backing out onto the street and letting John navigate him. The curly-head waited in the car until Mark was ready. Knopfler came out with two bouquets. One was bigger than the other. The larger was in shades of yellow and the smaller in shades of red. Mark put the yellow bouquet on the back seat and handed John the red one. The curly-head stared at him with wide eyes. Mark giggled. He kissed John gently on the lips."I love you.""I love you too." John sighed, smiling.*A few minutes later they were back in the driveway. Mark held the yellow bouquet in his hands as he followed John up the white sandy path to the house. They climbed the three small stairs before they stood in front of the front door. John smiled at Mark before ringing the bell. Mark took a deep breath and held it. Damn. His heart was pounding in his throat. He was very excited and really scared of messing something up. Damn, why hadn't John told him where they were going!? Mark nervously ran his left hand through his hair. John giggled at him. It was a moment before the door opened inwards. Mark held his breath."John! What a surprise!"
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
"John! What a surprise!" The door opened to reveal a relatively tall woman. She was wearing a red blouse, along with blue flannel pants. She had wild gray curls that reached her chest. She also had hazel eyes. Mark felt his heart rate quicken as the woman stepped out of the door and took John in her arms. John hugged the woman back, smiling."Hello, Mom." He smiled."Where's Flora? I haven't seen the poor thing in ages! You don't come to visit often enough, John!" She called. John giggled."Flora is at a camp. She's been looking forward to it all year. And since I'm home alone now, I thought I'd come by." The woman nodded and smiled."And who is this handsome young man?" She asked, pointing to Mark, who had been standing silently behind John the whole time, shifting uncertainly from one foot to the other."This is Mark, Mum. I really wanted to introduce him to you and Dad." John said. The woman smiled."Good day, Mám." Mark said and curtsied to her before handing her the bouquet with a smile."Oh my goodness!" She exclaimed and clapped his hands. "That wasn’t necessary!" Mark smiled as he held out his hand to her."Mark Knopfler.""Nice to meet you, Mark. I'm John's mother, Sarah." Mark smiled. "Oh God, this bouquet is beautiful! Come in! I have to put the flowers in a vase!" She ran into the house. John turned his head and grinned at Mark. The two also entered the house and closed the door behind them. Mark took off his shoes and left them behind the front door. John went into the living room. Mark followed him uncertainly and looked around on the way. The house looked very small from the outside, but it actually wasn't. It was quite big. John led Mark into the kitchen. The curly-haired man sat down at the kitchen table next to an older man who was reading the newspaper."Hello Dad." John smiled and hugged the man. He barely had any hair on his head, wore a checked shirt and gray pants, and thick glasses on his nose. The man smiled gently at John."Hello John. I didn't know you were coming today." The man folded the newspaper and put it aside. John smiled."I didn't know that either! It's a great surprise, isn't it?" Sarah grinned after she had put the flowers in a vase of water and placed it on the kitchen table. She smelled the flowers and smiled with her eyes closed. Mark stood awkwardly in the doorway and watched the family."And who are you, young man?" John's father asked and looked at him. Mark bit his lower lip. Just as he was about to answer, Sarah interrupted him."That's Mark. John's friend." John took a deep breath."Actually, he's my boyfriend." There was silence in the kitchen for a while. Mark walked awkwardly to the table and held out his hand to John's father."Mark. Mark Knopfler. Nice to meet you, sir." John's father swallowed and looked over at John before slowly reaching out and shaking Mark's hand."Phillip Illsley, John's father." Mark smiled tightly. "So you're...my son's boyfriend?" Mark bit uncertainly at the inside of his cheek. "I thought you were straight, John." John swallowed."Dad, I'm bisexual. However, I never had the pleasure of meeting the right man until I saw Mark." John reached out and took Mark's spindly fingers between his own."You have a daughter." Phillip said. "With a woman.""I know." John nodded. "Flora loves Mark.""She knows about it?" Sarah asked, wide-eyed."No. Not yet. She thinks we're just friends. Mark is her English teacher at school." John swallowed. "And he tutors Flora in English because she's not good at grammar. That's how we met." Mark swallowed and looked down at his feet, ashamed."Sir, I...I know this isn't what you imagined." He said carefully. "And I'm sorry if you...if you're disappointed, but I ask you not to be angry with John." Mark swallowed. John looked at him in shock. "If you want to be angry with someone, then be angry with me and...""What are you talking about, boy?" Phillip asked, confused. Mark raised his head and looked at him. "Why should I be angry with anyone? John is a grown man. He made his decision." Phillip looked at his son. "He doesn't ask me for permission anymore and he doesn't have to. I stand behind my son, no matter for who or what he decides." John smiled gently."So you're not mad at me?" John asked quietly. Sarah giggled."Why should we, my love? You're our son and we love you. If you're happy with Mark, then we're happy too. Erma left you alone with Flora and a broken heart and even then we stood behind you. It's...it's surprising. I've been wishing for years that you would find a new lover. I hadn't thought it could be a man, but...I'm still happy for both of you." John smiled with tears in his eyes and hugged his mother gently. Phillip stood up and hugged his son too."What your mother said." He grinned. "You'll always be my little one." John giggled."Thank you, Dad. That means a lot to me." Phillip pulled away from his son and looked at Mark. He held out his arms to him."Come to my chest, my son-in-law!" He exclaimed. The family laughed as Mark let him hug him.*The day passed quickly and soon the four of them were sitting on the sofa in the living room in front of the fireplace. Mark held a small plate with a piece of cake on his lap. John leaned on his shoulder. Sarah sat next to her son and knitted socks, while Phillip sat opposite them in an armchair. He was reading his newspaper again. In the background, the record player was playing quiet jazz music. Mark looked into the fire and felt the warmth touching him to the core. John had laid his head on Mark's shoulder and was holding his hand tightly."It's nice to have you back here, John." Sarah smiled before pulling a little on her blue wool thread."It's nice to be home again." John nodded and snuggled up to Mark's side. The smaller man giggled a little."Where are you from, Mark?" Sarah asked with interest."Glasgow." Mark smiled. "But grew up in Newcastle.""Your uncle is from Newcastle too, John!" Sarah called out excitedly. John giggled a little."Have you ever been to Newcastle?" Mark asked with interest."No." Sarah sighed. "John's uncle always brought us beer from there." Mark laughed. "Do your parents still live in Newcastle, Mark?" Mark's laughter died down. John looked at him worriedly and gently squeezed his hand."Yes." He then said. "Yes, they're still in Newcastle. My sister and brother too.""Honey." John whispered worriedly."Do you visit them sometimes?" Sarah asked unsuspectingly. Mark swallowed."I haven't been there for a long time." Sarah nodded understandingly. There was silence in the living room. A pleasant silence for Sarah and Phillip, but for Mark and John it was tense. Mark turned his head again and looked into the crackling fire. It was reflected in his blue eyes. Mark didn't notice that he was crying. It was only when John wiped the tear from his cheek that he noticed. John kissed Mark's lips gently and stroked his cheek. "I have to go to the bathroom for a minute." Mark said and stood up."Of course, honey! Just go down the hall and the first door on the right leads to the bathroom!" Sarah called with a smile. Mark nodded and set off. When the bathroom door closed, John sighed loudly."Mom?""Hmm? What's wrong, honey?" She asked, concentrating on the sock she was knitting."Mark's parents are dead." There was silence. Phillip and Sarah stared at their son in shock. "His siblings too." Sarah gasped and dropped her knitting needles to the floor in shock. She put a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. When Mark entered the living room shortly afterwards and wanted to sit back down in his seat, Sarah hugged him tightly. Mark looked at her in shock."I'm so terribly sorry, darling. John told us about your parents." Mark bit his lower lip."It was a long time ago." He said quietly."Some wounds never heal, darling." She replied sadly and rubbed his back gently. "May I ask how old you were when it happened?" Mark sighed loudly."I was 14. They died in a car accident on Christmas." Sarah felt tears in her eyes and held the young man tightly in her arms. She gently stroked his back."I'm so terribly sorry, darling.""It's okay." Mark sighed. "It wasn't your fault.""Where did you grow up?" Phillip asked quietly."Newcastle South, Children's Home." Mark said and pulled back from the hug. He was now sitting between Sarah and John. Sarah rubbed his shoulder sadly. John gently took his hand. "It wasn't easy, but I've grown up." Mark shrugged. "When I was 18, I moved to London to study. I'm a journalist. Because I didn't have enough money for my studies, I gave English lessons to students. And after I finished my studies, I became a part-time teacher, because there's not really much money in journalism.""And that's how you met John." Sarah smiled. Mark nodded and turned his head to look at John."I'm glad I met him." Mark said, not averting his eyes. "He makes me feel loved for the first time in 21 years." John smiled gently and leaned forward. He kissed Mark firmly on the lips. Sarah smiled at them both."I love you." John smiled. Mark felt his cheeks warm up when John said that in front of his parents."I love you too." He giggled.*Half an hour later, the two were sitting in the guest room of the house. Mark had brushed his teeth and was now waiting on the edge of the bed for John to finish. The older man was wearing pyjamas and was smiling at Mark."Don't you want to change?" John asked. Mark bit his lower lip and shook his head. John sat down next to him and took Mark's hand in his. "I love you, you know? And to me, you are the most beautiful person in the world. I don't care about your scars." John opened the button on Mark's shirt and rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. Mark bit his lower lip as John gently stroked the scars and looked at them. "Are you still doing this, honey?" John asked worriedly. Mark took a deep breath."No." He said. "I stopped many years ago. But this Christmas...""Is that why you were in the hospital?" John asked quietly. Mark bit his lower lip and nodded. He looked at the floor, ashamed. "Hey, you have nothing to be ashamed of." John whispered and kissed Mark's cheek. "When I was 15, my oldest friend had a lot of stress at home. His parents got divorced and it really took a toll on him emotionally." John gently stroked Mark's left wrist. "He wanted to start cutting himself. He told me that it would make him feel better, but I wouldn't let him. He was at my house almost every day. He even slept here. I kept him company until he felt better again and his grief was over. He never cut himself again and only has one scar on his wrist. Today he is an architect and we are still in touch." Mark looked at John sadly. "What I'm saying, baby, is that someone who is so emotionally unwell that they want to hurt themselves always needs help. Help from a friend. I'm sorry no one was there to help you back then." Mark felt tears in his eyes and looked away, but John gently turned his head back with his hand. "No one was there for you back then, right?" Mark let out a small whimper. "But I'm here for you now, okay? I'm always here for you because I love you. And Flora is here for you too. At some point we'll tell her about our relationship and when you're no longer her teacher, starting next school year, you'll move into our home, you hear me?" Mark looked at him with wide eyes. "Your smell will be in my sheets and your skin will touch mine every night." John smiled. "Would you like that? I'll take care of you." Mark let out a sob and wrapped his arms around John's neck. He put his head in the crook of John's neck and whimpered:"I love you." John smiled and gently rubbed his back."I love you too, my star."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Mark woke up the next morning, he stretched across the bed, yawning. John was still sleeping next to him, which made Mark smile. It was the first time they had slept next to each other, and they had been cuddling all night. Mark leaned forward and gently pushed back some of John's curls before kissing his forehead. The smaller man had wanted to stay next to John, but his bladder had other plans. So Mark carefully got up from the bed, so as not to wake the older man. Mark crept out of the room and stretched, yawning. He almost bumped into Sarah."Good morning, Mark!" She called, smiling. Mark giggled."Good morning.""How did you sleep, darling? Good?" Mark nodded. "Well, Phillip is out already. He's at the coffee shop down the street with some old friends every morning, you know? I'll be in the kitchen when you've freshened up, okay?" Mark nodded, smiling, and watched her go before heading into the bathroom. He did his business before leaning on the sink with his strong arms and looking at himself in the mirror. Damn, the years hadn't gone unnoticed. His hairline was slowly receding, his eyes had dark circles under them, but not as bad as they used to be when he was younger. Mark yawned again before combing his hair and trying to comb it over the bald patches a little. Damn, what did John see in him? He looked like an old man. Mark let out a sigh before splashing some water on his face and then going down the stairs to the kitchen. The whole house already smelled of bacon and eggs, which made Mark smile. "Coffee or tea, Mark?" Sarah asked without turning from the counter."Er...coffee sounds good." Mark smiled. Sarah nodded."Sit down." Mark sat down at the table and soon a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon was in front of him, as well as a cup of coffee. Sarah sat down opposite."What about you? Aren't you eating anything?" Mark asked in surprise. Sarah giggled."Honey, I've been awake for two hours. I've already had breakfast." Mark's cheeks turned a little red. She giggled. "Don't worry. John is a late riser when Flora isn't here. He always slept late as a child too." Mark giggled a little and started eating his breakfast. Sarah watched him with a weak smile. "Can I ask you something?""Mh?" Mark raised his head in surprise."I could hardly sleep all night." She sighed. "I couldn't help but think about...your parents." Mark's eyes widened. "I'm so terribly sorry you lost them, honey." She reached out and rubbed Mark's wrist, which was now covered by the fabric of his shirt again. Mark smiled weakly. "What were your parents' names?""My mother's name was Louisia, my father's name was Erwin." Mark said, swallowing a forkful of eggs."And your siblings?" She asked gently."My big sister's name was Ruth and my little brother's was David.""You were the middle one?" She asked with a smile. Mark nodded."Mh. My mother said I was always the most difficult child for her." They both giggled a little. "I miss her a lot." Mark sighed, looking down at his half-full plate."I'm so sorry." Sarah whispered quietly. "It doesn't change anything, but I'm really sorry.""Thank you." Mark smiled weakly."I think it's important, through all the sadness, to still think of the beautiful moments you had with them, you know?" She rubbed his wrist again. "And I know it's not the same, but...now that you and John are a couple, I'm here for you too, you know?" Mark raised his head and looked at her in surprise. "I know I'm not your mother and I don't want to replace her, but...I just wanted you to know that me and Phillip are here for you." Mark felt a few tears in his eyes and wiped them away with a smile."Thank you. That means a lot to me." Sarah smiled gently. She stood up and kissed Mark's forehead before holding him tightly in her arms. Mark smiled a little as she rubbed his back. "Well..." She pulled back and sat back down on her chair. "As you know, John was married. Does that bother you?" Mark bit into a piece of bread and looked at her in surprise."No. Of course not. He told me about his ex-wife. She must have been quite an asshole to leave him alone with Flo." Sarah let out a laugh."Yes, she...she was a special girl." She took a deep breath. "What about Flora? Does she bother you?" Mark looked at her in shock. "Well, you know, single fathers usually don't manage to get back into relationships and I just wanted to know what you think about that." Mark swallowed his food."Well...I'm 35 years old and I'll never have a family of my own." Mark said sadly. "I love John. With all my heart. Even though we’re only at the beginning of our relationship. And Flora... well, she is currently my student, so we haven’t told her about our relationship yet. But when I start teaching at the university again next school year, we can tell her about it. She’s a very pretty and intelligent girl." Sarah smiled. "I think she deserves to have two parents who love her. And I also think that, as far as John and Flo want me to, I could see her as my daughter." Sarah nodded in agreement."Were you married, Mark?" Mark pushed his empty plate away and took a sip of his coffee."No. I had one relationship when I was 28. The girl wanted to marry me then." Mark swallowed. "Well...how can I put it...she was quite manipulative. She didn't really love me. But I didn't understand that at the time. My best friend opened my eyes and so I broke up with her. But other than that, I've never had a relationship.""What a shame." Sarah whispered. Mark looked at her questioningly. "Your children would have been pretty." Mark felt his cheeks warming. "I'm glad John is happy with you." She stood up and kissed Mark's forehead again before going to the fridge and making a sandwich. She put it on a plate and handed it to Mark. "Here. This is John's favourite sandwich." Mark giggled as he took the plate.*A few minutes later, Mark was back on the bed. He lay on his side and studied John's face. He smiled to himself. John was really handsome.The opposite of you! You're ugly! Mark heard a voice scream in his head. Mark bit his lower lip hard. You don't deserve him! You're going to hurt him and you know it! Mark angrily wrapped his arms around his head and tried to push the voice away. You're going to hurt him! You're worthless! Look at yourself! You can't do anything on your own! You're a big baby! A nobody! A..."Stop!" Mark shouted angrily and squeezed his eyes shut. Suddenly he felt a big hand on his cheek."Why are you crying?" John whispered sleepily as he wiped the wet tears from Mark's cheeks. Mark stared at him with wide eyes. "What happened?""Nothing." Mark sniffed and quickly tried to wipe the tears from his cheeks."Come here." John whispered and lifted his blanket. Mark didn't move for a few seconds before crawling under the blanket. John covered him up and wrapped his arms tightly around him. The curly-headed man kissed Mark's forehead and hummed contentedly. "I love you.""I love you too." Mark whispered and closed his eyes. He felt John's body against his and strong arms wrapped around him. John gently rubbed Mark's spine.
You're going to hurt him! And you know it!
*They stayed in bed for a long time. John didn't get up until late afternoon and went to take a shower. Meanwhile, Mark packed their things because John wanted to drive home. He didn't want to leave the record store unattended for too long. And since Mark had met his parents, the visit seemed over for him. As the sun slowly set and dusk set in, John stood in the driveway with his parents. Mark packed the suitcase and bags into the trunk while John was still talking to his parents."Take care of him, my boy." Sarah said sadly and hugged John. "He’s suffered a lot." John looked at her sadly and nodded."I know." He sighed quietly and watched Mark loading the suitcase. "I'm afraid he hasn't even told me a fraction of it.""That will come, darling. You’re only at the beginning of your relationship. When he feels safe and is ready, he’ll tell you everything." Sarah assured her. Phillip nodded in agreement. Mark closed the trunk and then walked towards his in-laws, smiling."Ready.""Come here." Sarah smiled and held out her arms. Mark hugged her, smiling. "It was very nice to meet you, Mark." She said."It was nice to meet you both too." Mark giggled."Take care of yourselves and drive carefully, okay? And give Flora a kiss from me. Maybe you can come over for a week during the summer holidays? We'd love that." John nodded. Phillip hugged Mark tightly and patted him on the back."You're a good man, Mark." Mark felt his cheeks heating up. "Take care of my John, alright? He's hot-headed.""Dad!" John exclaimed annoyed, which made the family laugh."Oh, I made you some food for the road!" Sarah exclaimed, handing John a basket of sandwiches and cold lemonades. "Your favourite sandwich, just the way you like it, my boy." She grinned and pinched John's cheek. Mark giggled when he saw John's red cheeks."Thanks, Mom. Goodbye.""Bye, boys!" The two men got into the car, Mark started the engine and turned on the lights before reversing out of the driveway. John waved to his parents with a smile as they drove down the street. It was almost dark by now. John held the basket on his lap."And?" John asked with a smile."And what?" Mark grumbled."What do you think of my parents? And please be honest with me." Mark giggled."They're very nice. I was worried they wouldn't like me. But either they were very good actors or they like me somewhat." John sadly put a hand on Mark's left knee."Honey, of course they love you and aren't just pretending. You're their son-in-law." Mark giggled a little and felt his cheeks heating up."I'll have to get used to that title." John grinned."Don't worry. You'll have many years to get used to it." The curly-head yawned loudly and stretched a little before putting the basket in the back seat."Is someone tired?" Mark teased."Mh." John grumbled and looked out the window a little. They were still driving through Leicester."Close your eyes and sleep, honey." Mark hummed and reached out to rub John's thigh. "I'll wake you up when we get there.""Will you carry me to my bed too?" John yawned sleepily. Mark giggled."Anything you want, baby.""Mh. I'm lucky to have you." John whispered with his eyes closed. Mark giggled before turning his attention back to the traffic. John had fallen asleep almost immediately and was sleeping like a log. When Mark stopped to fill up just after Leicester, he covered him with a jacket and kissed his forehead. The younger man went into the petrol station to pay for his petrol before getting back in the car. He looked at the traffic signs that indicated which motorway exit led to which town.
London 102 miles
Manchester 106 miles
Leeds 99 miles / Newcastle upon Tyne 188 miles
Mark bit his lower lip. He had an idea. And this idea seemed pretty stupid. But somehow he really wanted to put it into action. Mark looked over at John, who was sleeping quietly in his seat. His head was leaning against the window and the warm jacket was wrapped around his upper body. Mark took a deep breath and started the engine again. Let’s go!
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
John woke up briefly when he felt himself being lifted up. He was still very tired and it was still dark outside."Hhhh." He grumbled."Sh. Baby. Calm down." A deep voice hummed."Mark?" John croaked and saw his lover's face next to him. Mark held the taller man bridal style and nodded. "Are we home?""Yes." Mark nodded."Will you carry me to my bed?" John murmured tiredly."Of course, my love. I’m on it." Mark giggled and shortly afterwards John was asleep again. Mark giggled as he picked up the taller man in his arms and walked through the door of the hotel. It was now 3 a.m. and he had been so damn tired that he had been looking for a hotel. After almost an hour of searching, Mark had finally found a hotel. He had already filled out all the forms at the reception and was now carrying John to the elevator. He drove up to the second floor and looked for the right room before miraculously managing to balance John in his arms and unlock the hotel room door at the same time. Mark carried John into the room and laid him on the feather-soft bed. John hummed contentedly and curled up on the white sheets. Mark laughed. He ran back to his car, got John's suitcase and locked the car before returning to the hotel room. John was still fast asleep. The younger man went to the bathroom before brushing his teeth and sitting down on the bed, yawning. Damn. He had been driving for four hours. His eyes were burning from lack of sleep and he was about to pass out at any moment. Mark yawned loudly before lying down on the bed and pulling the white blanket over himself. He grabbed John's hand and held it in his, smiling, before falling asleep himself from exhaustion.*When John woke up the next morning, he stretched across the bed, yawning, and smiled. Damn, he had slept well. John yawned loudly and opened his eyes. Mark was lying next to him, curled up like a puppy. John smiled and kissed Mark's forehead. John sat up and stretched again before realizing with a shock that he wasn't home. Where the hell were they!? John jumped up and looked around the room in shock. It looked like a hotel room. John rushed to the window, opened it, and looked out. He looked out onto a street that looked like it belonged in a suburb. There were small, colourful houses along the street. As John looked into the driveway of the hotel, he could see Mark's car just below the windowsill. John scratched the back of his head in confusion. He went back to the bed and sat down on the edge next to Mark. John reached out and gently ran his fingers through Mark's hair."Wake up, darling." He cooed softly. Mark grumbled and rolled sleepily onto his back before rubbing his eyes tiredly."John?" Mark croaked in his morning voice."Yes. It's me. Where the hell are we?" John asked. Mark blinked a few times before yawning loudly, which made John grin."I was tired and because I didn't want to have an accident, I decided to go to a hotel." Mark yawned loudly again. John nodded. They got dressed and got ready in the bathroom before Mark got their suitcases and put them in the car. Shortly afterwards, the two were sitting at a table and having breakfast in the hotel. There were a lot of people in the breakfast room. Mark drank his coffee and looked around while John ate a salami sandwich. John spotted a hotel flyer on the table and reached out for it. He opened the flyer and read the first lines:
Sultan Hotel Newcastle
John's eyes widened and he looked at Mark in shock, who was still enjoying his coffee and watching the other people having breakfast."Mark? What the hell?" John asked. Mark turned his head and looked at him questioningly, but when he saw the flyer in John's hands he grinned. "We're in Newcastle?" Mark shrugged."I thought we could go on a trip before we go back.""A trip?" John asked with wide eyes. "What the hell, Mark!? Newcastle is on the other side of England." Mark giggled. "What were you thinking?""Calm down." Mark sighed. "There are a few reasons why we're here, but I wanted to tell you about them later. Are you still hungry? I think the sausage was just refilled." Mark said and pointed to the breakfast buffet. John rolled his eyes and couldn’t resist grinning.*Two hours later, the two walked down the street holding hands. Mark had bought John an ice cream, which the older man was eating. They had looked around the old town a bit before Mark led them through small side streets."Where are we going?" John laughed as Mark pulled him along."You'll see in a minute." Mark said firmly. They walked along a long brick wall. John looked around in amazement before they stopped in front of a large archway. Mark stared at the archway. John's eyes widened when he saw the inscription:
Newcastle Central Cemetery
"Honey?" John asked quietly, looking at Mark with concern. The smaller man looked down at his feet and bit his lower lip. "Why are we here?" John whispered, stroking the back of Mark's hand with his thumb. Mark looked at John with sad eyes."Well, you introduced me to your parents." Mark took a deep breath. "I wanted you to meet mine." John's eyes widened in realization. "Of course, only if you want to." The curly-head nodded immediately and pulled Mark tightly into his arms."Only if you’re comfortable with it." John gently rubbed Mark's back. The smaller man sniffed quietly and took another deep breath."Come on." Mark held his hand tightly and they entered the cemetery. John followed Mark along the narrow aisles that they had to walk one behind the other, but John didn’t let go of Mark's hand. Almost in the middle of the cemetery, Mark stopped in front of a sandstone grave. John's eyes darted over the large gravestone.
Knopfler family - Erwin, Louisia, Ruth, David - Cherished in life, missed in death
On the gravestone there were small round pictures of the people. John knelt down in front of the gravestone to get a closer look at the pictures. Mark stood silently next to him. John looked at him out of the corner of his eye before running his hand over the gravestone."Hello Mrs and Mr Knopfler." He said loudly. "I'm John. John Illsley. I'm your son Mark's boyfriend." John saw Mark cover his face with his hands. "I love him very much and I promise I'll take care of him." John took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry you didn't get to see what a great man Mark has grown into. I bet you're very proud of him, watching us from heaven." John heard a quiet sob next to him and saw that Mark was crying. The smaller man hid his face behind his hands. "Come here." John said softly and held out his arm. Mark sat down on the ground. They were both sitting on the grass in front of the gravestone. John wrapped his arms around Mark's body and pulled him gently to him."You don't have to say all that. Not because of me." Mark whimpered with tears in his eyes. John gently wiped them away and kissed Mark firmly."I love you, Mark. And it's nice to meet your parents." Mark giggled brokenly. John leaned forward and ran his index finger over the pictures of the family members to clean them. He looked closely at each person. The children looked very young. "How old were Ruth and David, Mark?" John asked gently. Mark leaned against John's shoulder and had his head resting on his shoulder."David was 11 when he died." Mark sighed softly. "Ruth was 16.""I'm sorry, baby." John whispered and kissed Mark's head before he held him gently against him again and they both looked at the gravestone. John began to smile."Why are you smiling?" Mark asked softly as he played with the fingers on John's right hand."You look like your mother, honey." Mark raised his head in shock."What?""Look at the picture!" John smiled. "You have the same eyes and the same facial features as her. Your nose looks more like your fathers. But you look like the male version of your mother. And I must say, she was a very gorgeous woman." Mark felt his cheeks heat up. John kissed Mark's forehead. "I bet she would be very proud of you.""Proud?" Mark croaked, his voice teary. "Why? I... I'm nobody. I haven't achieved anything in life.""Don't say that." John stroked Mark's shoulder. "Don't say that. You studied. You're a journalist. And you're a teacher. Just like she was. I bet she would be very proud of you. You're loving, intelligent and you look damn hot." Mark giggled a little. "She never stopped loving you, you know?" John whispered, gently lifting Mark's head by his chin. "They say a mother is her son's first love. And just because you lost your mother so early in your life doesn't change anything, you know? She loved you and she still loves you. And the same goes for you. You still love her. And damn it, I'll say it again, you look just like your mom." Mark laughed and leaned happily on John's shoulder."John, I wanted to tell you this much earlier. But I thought that this place would be...more special. That I could only say this in front of my family." Mark reached out his hand and placed it on the gravestone. "I love you, John. I love you with all my heart and I'm so grateful to you for trying to build me up. I haven't felt as loved and appreciated in 21 years as I have in the short time we've been a couple. I love you with all my heart and I think if I were to lose you...for whatever reason..." Mark took a deep breath. "I don't think I could live anymore if I lost you. I think I would have lost the reason to live." John looked at Mark lovingly and smiled a little. "I love you, John...""I love you too." Hummed the curly-headed man. The smaller man suddenly started to cry."And I'm so scared I'm going to lose you." John looked at him with wide eyes. "Every time I've loved someone, I've hurt them. I'm so scared I'm going to hurt you and lose you." Mark reached out his hand, shaking, and ran it over the tombstone. "I lost all four of them. Simply because I... I have something about me that makes people get unlucky. And I'm so scared it will happen to you too." Mark was now sobbing brokenly. "I'm scared of losing you and what if I hurt Flora and...""Sh." John hummed, wrapping his arms tightly around the trembling, smaller body. He pulled Mark tightly to his chest and rocked him gently on his lap. "Don't say things like that. The deaths of your parents and siblings are not your fault, baby. How could it be your fault? A car accident could never have been your fault, honey. You weren't the one who overtook on a curve and hit your family's car.""I should have been dead." Mark sobbed. "But not them." He stroked the sandstone again. "None of them deserved to die like that. None of them deserved to die at all. I'm the only one left behind, even though I should have died and...""What are you talking about?" John asked, almost angrily. "Nobody deserves to die. Not you, and nobody else either. It was a tragic accident that nobody could control. And you, my darling." John gently tapped the tip of Mark's nose. "You were just incredibly lucky." Mark looked at him with tear-stained cheeks. His face was red, his eyes blurred with tears. "You were just very lucky that day. And darling, imagine how your mother would have felt if you had died. Can you imagine how distraught she would have been if she had lost her son?" Mark sobbed weakly. John pulled him tightly to his chest. "So please don't say things like that. I love you with all my heart and you could never hurt me or Flora. And you won't lose me either, I promise you.""Pinkie-promise?" Mark whispered, sniffling before extending his pinkie. John giggled and kissed Mark firmly on his swollen lips, before touching his pinkie with his own."Of course. I love you. Pinkie promise."
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
On their third day in Newcastle, which was also their last, John had planned a surprise for Mark. It was already 1 o'clock in the afternoon when they walked through the streets of the city. John held a map in his hands and looked for the way. Mark had often told him that he should just tell him where they were going and he could tell him the way, but John ignored him, giggling. They wandered through the city for half an hour before John finally found what he was looking for. They stopped on the wide sidewalk. The curly-headed man raised his head and looked at a huge building surrounded by a large garden and fenced with a black metal fence. The house was very large and made of sandstone. John smiled, it looked nice. In the garden of the house there were many people and colourful balloons. John noticed that Mark had let go of his hand, so he turned around and looked at him in surprise."Honey?" He asked quietly and reached for Mark's hand. Mark’s hands were shaking violently as he stared at the building with wide eyes. "Mark?" John reached out and placed his hand on Mark's cheek. The smaller man flinched."What are we doing here?" Mark gasped, not taking his eyes off the building."Today is open day at the children's home. I read it on some flyers. All former children are welcome and I thought you might want to go too while we're still here." John smiled. Mark lowered his head and looked down at his feet before shaking his head vigorously."No. I don't want to." Tears formed in his eyes, but John didn't notice."Oh come on, Mark! It'll be fun! You'll probably meet some of your old friends or something! At least try! If you still don't like it when we see it, we can always leave." Mark sighed and took a shuddering breath."You...you're staying with me, right?" John looked at him blankly."Yes? Of course I'm coming. Why do you ask?" Mark reached out his hand, shaking, and took John's. He laced their fingers together and took a deep breath.*The two soon found themselves in the garden in front of the children's home. There were lots of children playing in bouncy castles, but also lots of adults talking to each other. Mark held John's hand tightly in his and didn't let go. John didn't say anything, though. They got drinks and then stood at a bar table."See? It's actually quite nice here." John smiled, enjoying the sun on his face. Mark sighed."Mark?" A man walked towards them. "Damn it! It's him! Mark Knopfler!" John turned around and looked at the man who was holding the hand of a young woman who was obviously pregnant. Mark turned around and looked at him too. A smile formed on his lips."Hey! Eric!" The two fell into each other's arms and laughed hysterically. John smiled gently."How are you, buddy? You look emaciated!" Eric laughed and patted Mark's back. "God, we haven't seen each other in ages! When was the last time? '70? Damn." Mark laughed and hugged him again."I think it was 1970, yes. You look good, Eric!" The brunette man laughed."What brings you here? The last time we met, you told me you moved to London." Mark smiled."Yes. I still live in London. I took a short trip to 'Castle, you know?" The two men smiled. "Oh, how rude of me." Mark rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "This is John." John smiled and held out his hand. "And this is Eric and his wife Patty Clapton." Mark said. John gave them both his hand and smiled. "I see there's a baby on the way, huh?" Mark teased and looked at the woman's belly. She blushed a little, but smiled. "How far along are you, Patty?""Seventh month." She beamed proudly."Congratulations." John smiled and gave her his hand again."Thank you." She giggled."Patty and Eric met a few weeks after Eric came out of the children's home." Mark smiled. John nodded understandingly. "Damn, you've been a couple for ages." Eric laughed. "I'll get us some drinks!" With that, Mark ran off. John smiled after him. Suddenly Mark was himself again and didn't seem to be afraid anymore."You and Mark..." Eric began carefully. John leaned against the bar table and smiled gently:"We’re a couple, yes.""Oh." Patty said quietly. John looked at her questioningly. "Sorry! I didn't mean to be rude! It's just that I always thought Mark liked women, you know?""He likes both, my love." Eric giggled bluntly, which made John giggle. "How long have you been together?""About three months." John smiled. "We met my parents in Leicester and then made a detour to Newcastle. He wanted to show me a few things here." Eric nodded and smiled. "Can I ask why you know each other?""Oh, of course!" Eric giggled. "I'm 4 years older than Mark. I never met my parents. When Mark came to the children's home, it was my last year here. But I stayed two years longer and worked here." John nodded understandingly. Mark came back with the drinks."Would you like to sit on the chairs there?" Mark asked, pointing to a table with chairs. "I thought it might be more comfortable for Patty than standing." Patty smiled gently and so they set off. They sat down and talked about many different things. Before they knew it, two hours had already passed."Mark, I tried to find out your new address, but I couldn't." Eric laughed. Mark giggled and took out a piece of paper to write down his address and phone number. "Me and Patty wanted to ask you something important." He said quietly. "I know we haven't seen each other in years. But now that Patty is pregnant and we're going to have a child soon, we wanted to ask you if you would like to be Godfather to our child." Mark stared at him with his mouth open, looking like a fish that had been pulled out of its aquarium. "Of course only if you want to, but you’re our first choice." Mark lowered his head and felt tears in his eyes. John slowly reached out his hand and placed it on Mark's thigh."You...you want me to be the Godfather of your child?" Mark whispered in a quiet voice."Of course mate! You're my best and oldest friend! And if there's anyone I trust to take care of my child, it's you." Mark smiled slightly."I don't know anything about children.""Neither do we." Patty giggled. Eric placed his hand on Mark's knee."Mark, I want you to be the one raising my child if something happens to me and Patty. And you know yourself how quickly it can happen. One stupid car accident and the child’s alone. I don't want my child to have to grow up in a hell like that." Eric pointed to the big house. "And you know yourself why." Mark nodded silently and smiled gently at Eric. He hugged him tightly. "Is that a yes?" Eric smiled."Of course it is, you idiot!" Mark laughed and wiped a tear from his cheek before hugging Patty too. "Do you know what it is yet?""It's a boy." Patty smiled."Oh. Really? Do you have names yet?" Mark smiled."Brian Mark Clapton." Patty said, smiling and putting a hand on her round belly. Mark's eyes widened and he looked at Eric with big eyes. "We mean it, you idiot!" The group laughed.*After another hour, Eric and Patty headed home, as Patty was very tired. They agreed to meet for the baby shower in a few months. John and Mark walked through the children's home and looked inside the house when a man suddenly called out for Mark. Mark held John's hand tightly before telling him to get out of the house. John looked at him worriedly, but did as he was told, but when John was out of reach, things escalated. The man, James, started shouting at Mark and insulting him. Just like he had done many years ago. Soon two other men joined them, who had been James' friends back then. Mark defended himself as best he could, but he didn't stand a good chance against three of them, alone."Just like back then!" James laughed and kicked Mark's side, who was lying on the floor, curled up in a ball. Mark tried so hard not to shed a tear. "You're the same fucking faggot you were back then! I bet you liked it when me and the guys fucked you, huh!?""You raped me!" Mark screamed. Tears were streaming down his cheeks. He was unable to hold them back. "You made my life hell in here and what the hell was it for!?" Mark managed to get to his wobbly legs and held onto the door frame."We had fun." James laughed. "It was a lot of fucking fun using you as a slut. Want to try it again, huh?" He walked towards Mark. One of his hands unzipped his pants. Mark's eyes widened and his survival instinct kicked in. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he grabbed the poker from the fireplace and slammed it into James' head. The man immediately passed out. Blood was running from a slit on his head. Mark's eyes widened as he looked down at the man. The other two ran away quickly, but did not shout for help. Mark dropped the poker and ran out of the house, sobbing. He then collapsed on the side of the house and sat on the lawn. Tears ran down his cheeks as he desperately tried to calm himself down. John found him like this. Sitting on the ground, arms wrapped around his knees, crying."Oh my God, honey! What happened!" He cried out worriedly and ran towards Mark. He quickly sat down on the grass and wrapped his arms around Mark's body. John sat cross-legged and pulled Mark onto his lap. With his left hand he rubbed Mark's lower back, with the other he held the back of his head. Mark sobbed into John's shoulder and clung to him. "Sh. I'm here." John hummed, rocking him gently. "I'm here and I love you. I will never leave you. Sh. Sh. Don't cry. Don't cry." He whispered. Mark cried the tears he had hidden inside himself for the last 21 years. He placed a shaking hand on the facade of the building and sobbed."It happened here, John." He sobbed brokenly. "Multiple times." John looked at him blankly."What happened? What do you mean?" He asked worriedly."I love you." Mark sobbed, clinging to him. "Please never do to me what they did to me." He hiccupped from crying. "Please.""Mark, my darling." John gently brushed strands of hair from his face. "I will never hurt you. Ever. Do you hear me?" Mark hiccupped. Tears rolled down his cheeks, the sobbing had stopped. John kissed his lips gently. "I love you. What the hell happened in there? And what do you mean they did something to you? What on earth happened?" John asked worriedly. Mark leaned against John's chest, whimpering, but didn't say a word.*At the end of the day, they both found themselves in the hotel room. It was the last night before they would go back to London. John had hoped to have sex with Mark for the first time, but after the younger man had cried all afternoon, John was no longer in the mood either. He had gently pulled Mark to him. Mark had fallen asleep from exhaustion in no time, clinging to John's nightshirt with his left fist."What have they done to you, my darling?" John breathed worriedly, stroking the back of Mark's head with his hand. "I love you so much and I promise you, that no one will ever hurt you as long as I live. You never have to be afraid again of whatever happened back then. I love you." Mark moved weakly in his sleep and pressed his face closer to John's chest. The taller man smiled softly and closed his eyes, holding the love of his life in his arms.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The next morning, after they had showered and got dressed, they set off back to London. The day was quite warm, almost 30°C, which prompted the two to drive with the windows open. Mark was behind the wheel, but hadn't said a word all day. John didn't force him to. He gently rubbed Mark's knee with his hand and smiled encouragingly at him. They wouldn't have been able to talk anyway because of the noise caused by the open windows. Eventually John fell asleep, his hand still on Mark's knee. The younger man smiled gently as he looked over at him and sighed deeply. He loved John so much but he was afraid of losing him. What if John found out what had happened to him? Would John then end the relationship? Mark felt tears in his eyes. Damn. He really didn't want to think about that right now.*When they finally arrived in London, it was already dark outside and time to go to sleep again. John insisted on Mark staying the night with him, as Flora was still at the camp and he wouldn't pick her up until the next day. And so the two ended up in John's bedroom. John put a pillow and a blanket on the otherwise empty bedside of the queen-sized bed. Mark stood awkwardly in the room and watched him before slowly sitting down on the edge of the bed."Was your wife lying here?" He asked quietly as he ran his hand over the soft mattress. John looked at him in shock, Mark didn't seem to notice. "I bet she made you happy, didn't she?" John opened his mouth a few times to speak, but he didn't know what to say. "She definitely did. You had sex with her, otherwise Flora wouldn't exist." Mark giggled to himself. John knelt down on the floor in front of him and took his hands."Honey? What on earth is going on?" He asked worriedly."Was she good? In bed, I mean?" Mark asked, staring at a spot on the floor. John squeezed Mark's hands gently."Honey, please look at me. What's wrong with you?" He said gently. Mark seemed to be in his own world, ignoring everything around him. Almost as if he was catatonic."I had a girlfriend once, you know?" Mark muttered. "She often forced me to have sex with her. When I didn't want to anymore and refused, she made my life hell. She forbade me to eat. When I ate, she made me throw it up. I was pretty anorexic." John stared at him, eyes wide. "She told me I would get fat if I ate. And then she wouldn't want me anymore. And damn, I loved her. I didn't realize what she was doing to me." John rubbed Mark's knees gently and listened silently. "Pick, my best friend got me out of hell. He opened my eyes. It took months before I could eat normally again without having bad feelings about it.""Oh honey. I'm so sorry." John said quietly, rubbing Mark's thigh gently up and down."John." Mark croaked in pain and turned his head to look at him. John smiled encouragingly at him. "I have to tell you something." Tears formed in his eyes."Anything, my darling. You can tell me anything. I promise you'll feel better once you've told someone." Mark took a shuddering breath and closed his eyes."I can't." He whimpered weakly. "I'm not strong enough. I don't want to lose you and I...""Hey." John raised his hand and placed it on Mark's cheek. "Why should you lose me? No matter what you have to say to me, it won't change the fact that I love you. I promise you that.""I'm scared." Mark whimpered."Hey. Sh. You don't have to." John sat down next to him and pulled him to his side. Mark sobbed weakly into John's chest. John put his arms around him and rocked him gently. "There's no reason to be afraid. I will always love you, okay? Don't be afraid, darling. Tell me, what's bothering you? Does it have something to do with the children's home? I don't know what you wanted to tell me when I found you in the garden. What exactly did you mean by that?" There was silence for a while."I... I can't tell you." Mark whispered. "Not now.""Okay." John nodded and kissed Mark's head. "I don't mind. You don't have to tell me. But when you feel ready, I'm always here to listen to you, okay?" Mark smiled. John pulled him onto the bed and wrapped his arms around him. "I love you. And that won't change anything, no matter what you tell me." John kissed Mark's head again and rubbed gentle circles on his back. "I love you.""I love you too." Mark whispered and laid his face on John's temple. He kissed the soft skin, tired and sad."Rest. I'm here. I'll take care of you." John hummed."Thank you." Mark breathed before falling asleep almost instantly. John smiled sadly and kissed Mark's forehead before turning off the light and covering them both with a blanket. He pulled the smaller body to his chest and closed his eyes before he too fell asleep again.*John woke up the next morning to someone tugging on his foot. He grumbled tiredly and tried to tuck his bare foot under the covers, but he couldn't."Dad! Wake up!" A girl shrieked and John rolled over on his back in shock, only to see Flora standing at the foot of the bed. The girl was wearing her pyjamas, her hair sticking out wildly in all directions, just like John's. The record salesman sat up, yawning, and ran a hand through his long curls. He winced as his fingers got caught in a knot."What...what the hell are you doing here, Flora?" He asked sleepily."I wasn't tired anymore, so I came here." She said, smiling."You should still be at camp...how did you get here?" John's eyes shot open in shock when he was finally awake enough to think. The girl giggled."Lea's mom took me home. And I unlocked the door and went to bed." She shrugged. John smiled warmly. Damn, his daughter was really smart. She sat on his thighs and propped herself up with her hands on his chest. "Dad?" She asked slowly."Mh? What's wrong, darling?" John yawned sleepily."Why is Mr Knopfler sleeping in your bed?" John's eyes widened as he realized that the younger man was still lying next to him. Mark was lying on his side, snuggled up close to John's body. His eyes were closed and he was breathing deeply and regularly. John's heart was beating fast. He had no idea what to say. How was he supposed to explain this to his daughter? He shook Mark's shoulder. The dark-blond man groaned weakly in his sleep before sleepily opening his eyes and looking into John's. A few seconds later he saw Flora and his breath caught as well. "Do you love each other?" Flora asked out of nowhere and smiled at the two adults. John looked at Mark with wide eyes. Both were at a loss for words."What makes you think that?" John asked, uncomfortably running his hand through his hair."Well, Lea told me that her parents cuddle in bed. You did that too, didn't you?" The girl asked excitedly. John swallowed hard."Darling..." Mark sat up in bed and leaned against the headboard. John did the same and they sat quietly next to each other."Dad! Do you love each other?" Flora asked again, still sitting on John's hips. The curly-headed man took a deep breath and looked worriedly at Mark before nodding. He took his hand gently under the blanket, before rubbing circles on the back of Mark’s hand."Yes, my darling. We love each other." And then something happened that neither of them had expected. They had thought that Flora would cry. Or scream. Be angry or disgusted. Instead, she jumped onto Mark's upper body, which knocked the air out of the younger man's lungs for a few seconds. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and beamed like it was Christmas morning."Does that mean you're my second dad now?" She asked excitedly. Her eyes glittered with joy. Mark stared at John in shock, who couldn't help but grin. "Can I call you Pops, Mr Knopfler?" Mark smiled a little and raised his hand to run through her curls."Of course, my darling." He said in his deep morning voice. She smiled and hugged him tightly again before lying down on him. Mark pulled the blanket over the girl. She lay on his chest, Mark gently put his arms around her and felt tears in his eyes. John smiled and kissed his forehead."I love you, Pops." Flora whispered into his shoulder. She was already very sleepy from all the excitement. Her small hand was tangled in the hair on Mark's neck. Mark smiled gently and gently stroked her back."I love you too, Flo." Mark turned his head to look at John. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he smiled. John grinned and reached out to gently wipe the tears from Mark's cheeks before kissing him.*When the three of them got up two hours later, Flora never left Mark's side. When he went to brush his teeth, she stood next to him and brushed her teeth too. Mark had to comb her hair and help her choose clothes for the day. Since it was already noon, they skipped breakfast and ate lunch straight away."It's so great that you're my pops now! I've wanted this for so long and dad is very happy with you and..." Flora babbled. She didn't even take a breath as she spoke. She sat next to Mark. John sat opposite the two of them and watched them, smiling. He hadn't seen his daughter this excited in a long time. "I love you very much, Pops!" She cried excitedly and put her hand on his forearm. Mark giggled a little awkwardly. He was a teacher and was used to working with small children, but... he had never seen this behaviour from a child before and he was a little overwhelmed, to say the least."Flo, my darling. Let him eat." John giggled when he saw that Mark still hadn't touched his food."But Dad! I have so much to tell him and...""I know." John smiled. "But let Pops eat, okay?" Mark felt his cheeks heat up when John called him that. Damn...were they a family now?"But what if Pops leaves again?" She moaned, tapping her fork on the table."What do you mean?" John asked, dumbfounded."He'll go back to his apartment." She complained. Mark giggled a little and looked into John's eyes. The older man smiled gently at him."If you both want it, I can stay here.""Yes!" Flora screeched excitedly, clapping her hands. John giggled."Darling, we have to discuss something important." He said before eating another forkful of broccoli. She nodded and looked at him expectantly. "Pops is still your teacher. So no one can find out about this, right?""I can't tell anyone that I have a second father?" She asked sadly."At least not yet, honey. After the summer holidays, you can, okay?""Okay." She said sadly. Mark reached out his hand and gently rubbed her shoulder."And at school you'll continue to call him Mr Knopfler, understood?" John asked a little sternly. Mark giggled and gently brushed back some of Flora's curls with his hand."I don't want to eat broccoli, Pops." Flora whined and looked at Mark with brown puppy eyes. Mark felt his heart melt as this little girl acknowledged him as a father."You don't have to eat it if you don't like it." He said gently and smiled a little."Yes!" John shouted. "Yes, she has to!" Mark raised his head and looked at him. "And you too! I don't want to hear any arguments!" John pointed with his fork at Mark's plate, which also had broccoli on it. "Eat your broccoli and then do what you want, but what's on the plate is what you eat!" The curly-head shouted sternly. Flora rolled her eyes, which made Mark giggle.*After dinner, Flora went into the living room and played with her model cars. John went to the bathroom. Mark ran water into the sink and started cleaning the dishes. As he did so, he pulled back his long-sleeved shirt and sighed quietly. Had he really found a family? After all these years? Suddenly, strong arms wrapped around his waist. He turned his head and smiled slightly when he saw John standing behind him."I love you." John hummed and laid his head on Mark's shoulder while stroking his stomach with his thumb. The younger smiled and felt his cheeks warm slightly."I love you too." Mark's hands had disappeared under the foam in the sink while he scrubbed the dishes. Soon he let the water out. John reached out and gently ran his fingers over the scars on Mark's wrists. The younger bit his lower lip uncomfortably."Why did you do that, darling?" John asked quietly, not taking his eyes off the long, white scars. Mark sighed quietly. "I'm not mad at you or anything, you know? I just want to understand why you did that.""It...my teenage years were very difficult, John." The blonde sighed. "I just felt like I deserved it after everything that had happened.""What do you mean?" John asked quietly. His arms were wrapped around Mark's waist again and his head was resting on Mark's left shoulder."They all died because of me." Mark said in a choked voice and turned his head to the side so John couldn't see his tears. "And...so many other things happen that I just felt like I deserved to be punished." John immediately turned Mark around and held him by the shoulders."Don't ever say that again." John looked at him almost angrily. Mark lowered his head. Tears shimmered in his ocean blue eyes. "Don't you ever fucking say that again! How is it your fault? You weren't even there when the accident happened! We've talked about this before. Mark, the accident happened 21 years ago. I know you miss your family, but please don't tear yourself apart." John put two fingers under Mark's chin and lifted his head. Mark's lower lip trembled, unshed tears still shimmering in his eyes. "You're destroying yourself. You're destroying your soul, Mark. Let it go. You can't change it now. Stop blaming yourself for it. Please, you're a wonderful man, Mark. Don't destroy yourself because of it." John wrapped his arms tightly around the smaller man and pulled him to his chest. "I love you. The two of us and Flora are a family now, do you hear me?" John pulled back a little to look into Mark's eyes. "And families look out for each other." He kissed Mark's forehead. "Please start living your life, Mark. Even if the last few years haven't been ideal, we can still make your life beautiful. I love you. Oh baby, please don't cry." John gently wiped a tear from Mark's cheek. The younger man chuckled weakly and wrapped his arms tightly around John."I fucking love you." They kissed eagerly and hugged, when suddenly a child's voice said:"Dad! You're crushing Pops!" The two men pulled apart and looked down at the little girl before bursting into laughter.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The weeks passed and soon Flora's next English test was due. She was very nervous because she had studied so much. The children had to push their desks apart and were now waiting. Mark stood in front of the class and counted the tests."So, children. Today is the day. Our English exam is coming up." Mark looked at frightened faces. He smiled gently at them. "Don't worry, okay? You can do it. You all did very well in class and I'm sure you'll do well now too. If you don't understand something, raise your hand and please try to stay calm. That's the only way you can concentrate. We don't want anyone to have a blackout, okay?" The children nodded in agreement. Mark walked through the rows and handed out the test questions before going back to his desk. "You have 30 minutes now. Good luck, you can do it." Mark sat down on his chair, accompanied by a loud rustling of paper. He sipped his coffee and leaned back in his chair. His eyes fell on Flora, who had not yet turned over her test paper and was looking at him anxiously. Mark smiled encouragingly at her and made a hand gesture telling her to begin. She took a deep breath and turned the test over.Flora wrote her name and her class on the paper before she began to read the first question. Panic spread through her when she could not understand the question. She looked away anxiously and noticed that everyone else was already busy writing. Flora took a shuddering breath and tried to calm herself down before looking at the next question. Not understanding that one either, she looked at the next one. When she had looked at all five questions and didn’t understand any of them, she could no longer hold it back. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she began to sniffle quietly. She would fail and Dad and Pops would be so disappointed in her. A sob slipped past her lips. Her hands began to shake. Mark raised his head in surprise when he heard a sob. He was sad to see that it was Flora. He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a pack of tissues before walking towards her. He crouched down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder."Hey, what's wrong, Flo?" He whispered so as not to disturb the others. She sobbed brokenly. "Calm down, little one." Mark hummed and gently rubbed her shoulder. He handed her a tissue, with which she blew her nose and wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Take a deep breath, okay?" She took a shuddering breath. "What's the problem?""I... I don't understand the tasks." She whimpered quietly and looked at him with teary eyes. Mark smiled sympathetically."I promise you that the tasks are no different from the ones we practiced. Read the task again." He put his index finger on the first task. She sniffled quietly and looked at him anxiously. Mark nodded at her with a smile, which made her read the task again."Should I find out the infinitives of the words?" She whispered quietly and sniffed again while looking at Mark. The teacher nodded at her with a smile. Flora quickly got to work and wrote. Mark smiled and stood up again. He rubbed her back gently again before going back to his seat. Mark sat back on his chair and took a sip of his coffee. Damn, in the last few weeks he, John and Flora had become like a little family and not favouring Flora in class, was becoming more and more difficult for him."Mr. Knopfler?" Axel asked loudly. Mark turned his head in shock and looked at the boy."Yes?""Can you come here?" Mark nodded and stood up. He wove his way between the tables before reaching the boy in the last row."What's the problem?" Mark whispered."Is my answer right?" He asked, pointing to his answer with his pen. Mark read the answer and had to grin a little. The boy looked at him expectantly."I'm sorry, Axel, but I'm not allowed to tell you that." He whispered."But Mr. Knopfler, please?" Axel complained quietly. Mark giggled a little. He put his finger on a word in the answer."Read that again and think about the last lesson." Axel looked down at Mark's finger in surprise before his eyes widened and he nodded. He began to rephrase the answer. Mark nodded contentedly and walked a little through the rows to look over the children's shoulders. Some were better than others, but on average it looked as if there were no bad grades. When he got to Flora, she raised her head and looked at him anxiously. Mark gave her a reassuring smile before his blue eyes turned to the exam paper. The first task seemed to have been solved quite well. She had worked on three and four, but not quite finished them."I don't understand task five." She whispered quietly and turned the paper over to show it to Mark. He looked at the task again before bending down and whispering:"You have to cross out the misspelled word and correct it." She looked at him confused. Mark crouched down again. "There is a word misspelled in each line. You cross it out and then write underneath how it’s spelled correctly, okay?" Flora's eyes widened in realization and she nodded quickly before she got back to work. Mark stood next to her for a while and watched her before going to the board. "You have 15 minutes left. But don't panic, you're only halfway through." The children immediately lowered their heads again and continued working. Mark dropped back into his office chair and pulled a few ninth grade essays out of his briefcase before he started checking with a sigh. Before he knew it, the 15 minutes were over. "Time's up." He said and stood up."But I'm not finished yet!" A boy shouted desperately. Mark looked down at his watch."Does someone else need more time?" Six children raised their hands. "Okay, five more minutes." Mark leaned on the board and looked over the class when suddenly someone knocked on the door. It opened and the secretary looked in. Mark went to the door. "What's wrong, Erma?" He asked in surprise."We got a call for you." She whispered quietly when she noticed that an exam was being written."So what?" He asked, bewildered."It was really strange, the caller didn't say his name and just wanted to know if you were a teacher here." Mark raised an eyebrow in surprise. "The number was withheld, I have no idea who the man was." Mark shrugged."Probably nothing important, otherwise he would have left his name. Maybe he just dialled the wrong number.” She nodded a little.“Okay. If he calls again, I’ll let you know.” Mark nodded gratefully and closed the door behind her.“Hey! Steven! Johnny! There’s no talking until I’ve collected the exams!” Mark shouted loudly. The classroom immediately became dead silent and the children looked at him a little frightened. “Should I take away your exam and start writing down bad grades?”“No!” The two boys squeaked immediately.“Time’s up.” Mark walked through the rows and collected the exams. When he got to the desk and counted the exams, he nodded in agreement. “Everyone’s here. Congratulations, you’ve done it.” The children started chattering excitedly, which made Mark giggle. He put the exam papers in his briefcase."Are Johnny and I getting a bad grade now?" Steven asked quietly. Mark raised his head and looked at the blond boy."Not this time." Mark said, trying not to grin. "But I don't want that to happen again, okay?" The two boys nodded quickly. "Well, as you know, today is Friday. You can go home in five minutes." The children nodded excitedly and packed up their things. When the bell rang, they stormed out of the room. Only one girl stayed behind. It was Flora. She sat quietly on her chair and looked sadly down at the table. Mark went to the classroom door and closed it before going to his daughter. "What's wrong, honey?" He asked quietly, putting a finger under her chin to lift her head. She had a few tears in her cheeks."I'm so sorry." She sobbed brokenly."Hey, hey. Calm down." He hummed and pulled her tightly into his arms. She sobbed into his neck and tangled her fingers in his hair. "What are you sorry for, what do you mean?" He rubbed her back gently."I screwed up the exam." She sobbed. "I didn't know what to do and Dad and you will be so disappointed in me.""Hey. Don't say that, my darling. Why should we be disappointed in you? Dad and I both know that you studied very hard for this exam.""But it didn't help. I'm just so stupid." She sobbed brokenly."No. Don't say that." He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Just because you can't do a subject doesn't mean you're stupid. You can learn anything. Besides, you don't even know yet whether the exam really went badly.""I don't want to fail." She sobbed brokenly. Mark looked at her sadly."Sh. Everything’s fine." He rocked her gently. "I promise you that you won't fail. You have already improved a lot and if this exam really didn't go well, then you’ll just do a presentation, okay? That’ll help you improve your grade. Don't worry now, my love, okay?" Mark kissed her gently on the forehead. Suddenly the door opened. Mark raised his head in shock. The school's vice principal was standing in the doorway. His name was Norbert Smith and he loved to make life difficult for teachers. When he saw Mark hugging the little girl, he stared at him in shock."Mr. Knopfler! How dare you!" He shouted. The young teacher immediately let go of Flora and got up from the floor. "If I hadn't come, you would have certainly attacked that girl, am I right?" Shouted the older man, in his mid-50s, angrily. Mark stared at him with wide eyes."What on earth are you talking about?!" Mark shouted in shock."You wanted to seduce that girl and then sexually abuse her! In my school! What a disgrace!" He shouted. Mark stared at him with his mouth open."Flora was crying because she wasn't happy with her exam. All I did was hugging her!""I know exactly what you were up to!" He shouted. He took Flora by the hand and pulled her behind him. "Come here, girl. He won't hurt you. What's your name?""Flora Illsley." She said in surprise. Her crying had stopped and she looked over at her father with concern."We're going to call your parents now and tell them what happened here. You don't have to be afraid, little one. That disgusting paedophile won't hurt you." Mark stared at him with his mouth open. "And you, Mr. Knopfler, pack your things now and come with me to the principal's office! This kind of thing will not be tolerated in our school!" He shouted angrily. Mark stared at him in shock. When he didn't move, Smith punched him in the face. Mark gasped sharply as blood started to run from his nose. Bodily harm or not, he stood absolutely no chance in front of his superior. He quietly picked up his briefcase and followed the vice principal and Flora into the principal's office.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When John got the call, it was already 2 p.m. He was in the shop selling a record to some teenagers when he heard the phone ring. He picked up the phone, astonished. Had something happened? Flora should have been home half an hour ago. But he didn't worry too much because Mark was probably by her side. When he heard the vice-principal's voice telling him to come to school immediately because something bad had happened to his daughter, he couldn't believe his ears. John grabbed his jacket, locked the shop and stormed to the school. It took him five minutes less than usual. John sprinted up the stairs where he had met Mark and ran down the long corridor of offices until he found the right one. When he knocked on the door, he was a little out of breath. It took a few seconds before a tall man in a light gray suit opened the door for him. He was about the same height as John and smiled at him. John pulled a face. He looked very unpleasant."Mr. Illsley?" The man asked. John nodded and quickly wiped his hand on his jeans before offering it to him."Yes." They shook hands."I'm Mr. Smith. The vice principal of this school.""What happened? You said there was something wrong with Flora." He said worriedly. The man sighed."I'm afraid I have to tell you that a teacher tried to sexually assault her. Luckily I was able to intervene." John stared at him with his mouth open. "Come in." As John entered the office, his eyes widened even more. Flora was sitting at a small table, drawing a picture with wax crayons. She was too young to understand what was going on. In the room were two police officers and the principal. The police officers flanked a chair on which a man in an orange suit was sitting. There were blood stains on his shirt. His face looked battered. His nose was broken. His hands were handcuffed together. John's eyes widened when he recognized Mark. He bit his lower lip hard to keep from whimpering. His daughter was fine. But his lover didn't seem to be doing well at all. Bruises were forming on his face and John didn't even want to know what injuries were hidden under his clothes. "Mr. Illsley, please sit down." Smith said, pointing to a chair."Dad!" Flora called excitedly and ran towards him. John gently took her in his arms."How are you, sweetheart?""I'm fine, Dad. But Mr. Knopfler was hit." She said worriedly, pointing to the teacher. Mark tried to smile at him, but his split lip prevented him."Your daughter was sexually harassed by this teacher here." Smith explained, pointing at Mark. "Fortunately, I intervened in time. The police took care of him, as you can see." He laughed. John grimaced and tried to stay calm."Sexually harassed?" John asked, raising an eyebrow. "Flo, what did Mr Knopfler do?""He hugged me because I was sad, Dad." She said truthfully."What does a child know?" Smith asked, rolling his eyes. "Knopfler is a danger to our students and that's why you're going to report him, am I right? We can be glad he didn't get any further than hugging her." John looked at him angrily."Because someone hugs a child, he's a paedophile?""As a teacher, that's not your place to do." Smith said firmly."I want to speak to the principal of this school immediately." John declared firmly. Smith looked at him in shock. "She's here, isn't she?" It took about 15 minutes before the principal entered the office. Another 10 minutes before she knew what was going on. The police officer looked at John."What do you want to do, Mr. Illsley? Do you want to report him? In that case, we will take him away and keep him in custody until the court date is set.""No. I don't want that." John said firmly. He looked at the principal. "Mrs. Miller. Mark is Flora's godfather." Several people in the room gasped. "Flora was not treated better than the other students in his subject in any single case, and she didn't have any advantages when it came to exams. You're welcome to research, because she's terrible at his subject." The principal giggled a little. "Mark hugged my daughter because she was sad. Not because he wanted to sexually harass her.""You can't know that!" Smith exclaimed. Mrs Miller raised her hand and silenced him."Go on, Mr Illsley." She said calmly."I vouch for this man. He’s Flora's godfather and that's why I know that he hugged her and that he didn't do it out of sexual desire. I will not report him and I want Mr Smith to apologize publicly to Mr Knopfler. Otherwise I will complain to the Ministry of Education about this matter. I hope you’re aware that this is serious mayhem." John pointed at Mark. "Officer, take the handcuffs off him or I will file a complaint for bodily harm." The room became deadly silent. The police officers took the handcuffs off Mark and apologized quietly. "What are you going to do now?" John asked, looking demandingly at Mrs Miller. She took a deep breath."Mr Smith." She said firmly. "There have been enough incidents with you this year. Now accusing Mr Knopfler of such a crime is going too far. I want you to apologize to him publicly next week, Monday. Furthermore, you are being dismissed from my school." Smith stared at her with wide eyes."But I've been here much longer than him! You know me much better!""Mr Knopfler is a lovely teacher who would do anything for his students. He would never harm a student, and especially not his godchild." She said firmly. She went over to Mark and helped him up. He groaned weakly in pain. "I'm sorry, Mark." He smiled weakly at her."How can you be sure of that!?" Smith shouted angrily."Stop!" She shouted. "Officer, I ask you to remove this man from the school premises!" The police nodded and got to work.*When Mark, John and Flora arrived at John's house, it was already 4 p.m. Mark hadn't walked very quickly and John had had to support him while he held his briefcase in his other hand. They walked slowly up the stairs to the apartment. Flora was worriedly fretting over her father as John helped Mark sit down on the sofa."Do you want painkillers, honey?" John asked worriedly. Mark shook his head silently. "Something to eat? You two haven't eaten all day." Mark shook his head again. John looked at him worriedly. "Do you want something to eat, Flo?""If Pops doesn't eat, I don't want to either." She said and sat down next to Mark. She snuggled up to his side. Mark smiled weakly and put an arm around her. John sighed softly."Stay seated for a while and then we'll clean the wounds, okay?""That's not necessary." Mark muttered. "They're just bruises.""Just!? Just!? Mark, those bastards hit you for no reason!”“John.” Mark scolded. “Flora is in the room.” The record seller quickly put a hand over his mouth."Whatever." He mumbled. "I'm going to heat up the food now and you're both going to eat it." With that, he went into the kitchen. Flora snuggled closer to Mark's side and took his hand."I'm sorry, Pops." She whispered. He swallowed."It wasn't your fault. Don't worry, love." Mark kissed her forehead. It wasn't long before Mark fell asleep. His head was tilted back, Flora snuggled up to his side. That's how John found them an hour later. The curly-head put the plates of food on the living room table and couldn't help but smile a little. He slowly picked Flora up in his arms and carried her to her bed, as she had also fallen asleep, before gently waking Mark."Hey. Honey." John kissed his swollen lips gently. Mark opened his eyes tiredly. "The food is ready." Mark groaned weakly as he leaned back on the sofa and took the plate John offered him onto his lap. They both ate in silence."Why did you do that?" Mark whispered quietly when he was finished."What do you mean?" John asked, baffled."Why did you help me? They would’ve locked me up.""Why wouldn't I?" John asked indignantly. "You're my boyfriend. My lover. Flora is our daughter. You would never have sexually molested her. Why on earth would I have accused you of that?" Mark lowered his head weakly."I was... I was just careless." John looked at him sadly."Flora was sad and you wanted to comfort her. I bet any other teacher who found you would never have thought you wanted to mistreat her." Mark sighed deeply. John kissed him gently and stroked his hair. "Come on." He took Mark by the hand and led him into the bathroom. Mark stood silently in the room while John began to unbutton his shirt. Mark didn't move as the taller man pushed the shirt over his shoulders and it landed almost silently on the floor. John gasped sharply. Tears formed in his eyes. "Damn, they beat you like you were a felon." Mark's entire upper body was swollen and blue. John could see many old scars. Especially on Mark's back. But he decided against saying anything. He didn't want to scare the younger man away. John began to gently wash Mark's back and chest with a washcloth, kissing every inch of skin."I love you." Mark whispered. John smiled softly and kissed his lips."I love you too." When John was finished, he put the washcloth aside and wrapped his arms around Mark's upper body. He pulled him gently to him and stroked Mark's bare skin under his hands. He had never touched Mark's bare back before. After a while they pulled away from the embrace. John carefully reached out and ran his fingertips over Mark's swollen nose. The smaller man winced violently. "Your nose is broken." John said worriedly. "We should go to the hospital." Mark shook his head weakly."I can fix it myself. Don't worry.""Damn it, that's out of the question!" John shouted angrily. "Do you think I'm going to watch you or what!? Get dressed, we're going to the hospital. Your car is in front of the house anyway." Mark sighed deeply and did as he was told. Just as the two were about to leave the apartment, Flora came out of her room and rubbed her tired eyes."Dad? Pops? Where are you going?" She asked sleepily. John knelt down in front of her and kissed her forehead."I'm taking Pops to the hospital. Go back to sleep. We'll be back in an hour." Her eyes widened."I want to come with you!" She called. John looked at his watch worriedly."It's already very late.""I don't care! I want to come with you!" She quickly got dressed and the three of them set off.*Mark sat shirtless on a treatment gurney while Flora and John stood in the treatment room and watched the doctor at work. The doctor was in his mid-40s, had a black goatee and wore thick glasses. He felt Mark's upper body, which made the younger man wince."Well, it looks like you have two broken ribs." He said. "Are you having trouble breathing?" Mark shook his head silently. "Your nose is broken too. I guess you know I have to put it back in place, right?" Mark nodded and let out a shaky sigh. The doctor carefully placed his fingers on Mark's nose before turning around and looking at John, who was anxiously holding his daughter's hand. "Perhaps you would like to leave the room with the child? It will only take a few seconds but it will make an unpleasant noise." He explained calmly. John shook his head."I would rather stay here." The doctor nodded and with a jerk and a disgusting, cracking sound he put Mark's nose back. The teacher groaned loudly and slammed his fist on the stretcher. Tears welled up in his eyes. The doctor pulled away after handing him a tissue. Blood was streaming from Mark's nose, which Mark caught with the tissue. Mark groaned loudly and tried to normalize his breathing."Shit." He gasped in pain and tried to blink the tears from his eyes."I'm going to prescribe you painkillers and you should stay in bed for at least the next few days. Less because of your nose, but more because of the two ribs. They're already on the right track to healing back together, so we shouldn't have to worry about that." The doctor said calmly. He stuck a bandage over the bridge of Mark's nose, holding the bone in place, before giving them the painkillers and dismissing them from the emergency room.*20 minutes later, Mark was sitting on the edge of John's double bed. He was wearing only shorts, a bandage wrapped around his chest. John came through the door after putting Flora to bed."Come on. Let's sleep. It's been a long day." The record salesman sighed and lay down on his side of the bed. Mark sighed and lay down too. "Something's bothering you, my handsome." John whispered and gently brushed a strand of hair from Mark's face."John...do you really think that I...that I could do something like that to someone? That I could...abuse someone?" Mark breathed sadly."No. I don't. And we’re not thinking about anything like that now, okay?" John turned off the light and kissed Mark's lips gently, being careful not to bump Mark's nose. "I love you and you're going to rest now, alright?" John wrapped his arms around the smaller body and pulled him close. "Sleep well."“You too." Mark sighed. But he stayed awake most of the night.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
When Mark woke up the next morning, it was already 10 a.m. He looked around in shock and realized that he was alone in bed. John's side of the bed was neatly folded. Mark groaned weakly and lay still for a moment before sitting up and pulling a shirt over his head. When Mark came into the kitchen, he found Flora at the kitchen table. She was drawing a picture with crayons. Mark smiled and kissed her head gently."Good morning, darling.""Morning, Pops!" She called out, smiling. "How are you?""Pretty good." Mark murmured, filling a glass with tap water."You look funny!" She exclaimed, giggling when she saw the bandage on Mark's nose. Mark looked at her tiredly and smiled slightly through his swollen lip. He reached out and ruffled her hair, making the girl laugh. "Where’s your father?""Mh, he's downstairs in the shop." Flora said, reaching across the table to grab the green crayon. "He said I shouldn’t wake you up.""Oh. Really?" Mark giggled."Mhm." She hummed and concentrated on her picture again. "He also told me to keep you out of the shop, because you should stay in bed." Mark smiled a little and leaned down to kiss her head again."That's very sweet, Flo. But I have to go today.""Why?" She asked with wide eyes and raised her head."I have an appointment at the newspaper office." Mark bit his lower lip. "I'm going to take a shower, okay?""I'll get Dad! He can help you!" She called worriedly when she saw Mark trying not to move in the wrong direction so that his ribs didn't hurt. "Don't worry, little one." Mark smiled. "I'll manage."*Half an hour later, Mark came out of the bathroom. He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a striped tie. Flora looked at him in surprise."That's a very nice suito, Pops.""Suit. It's called a suit, Flo. Thank you very much." Mark smiled. He knelt down in front of her and put one hand on her cheek. "I'm going to go to work now, okay? Please be good and don't break anything.""Okay, Pops." She said sadly. Mark smiled gently at her and went down the stairs to the shop. It was busy. The whole shop was crowded with young people. Mark saw John at the counter, who was checking out a girl."Hey, John!" He called out with a smile and waved. The curly-headed man raised his head and followed the voice. He didn't smile, though. He just looked worried."Mark? What are you doing here? You should be in bed." He said worriedly. Mark sighed."I have to go to work. I have an appointment with my boss." Mark leaned against the sales counter and smiled gently at John."Okay. But take care of yourself, alright?" The smaller man nodded, grinning, and set off. John watched the small green car drive away and sighed worriedly.*"John!" Mark called excitedly as he stormed into the apartment about five hours later. The older man was standing at the stove, stirring sauce in a pan. He turned around in shock, only to see his lover standing in the doorway, beaming like on a Christmas morning. "John, darling! You'll never guess what happened today!""Wow! Calm down!" John giggled, raising his arms as Mark hugged him tightly and lifted him into the air, even though he was smaller. Flora watched her parents, giggling. "What happened?" John giggled as Mark put him back on the floor."I got a promotion!" Mark shouted excitedly. "That means more pay! And besides..." Mark rummaged in his pocket before holding up £120. John's eyes widened. That was a hell of a lot of money. "I got that as a starting salary! And guess what!?" Mark's blue eyes beamed happily. "I can finally record my album!""What album?" John asked, puzzled."Didn't I tell you?" Mark giggled. "I'm a musician. Actually, I play guitar and I sing. My mate Pick plays drums. The only thing we need is a bassist. But we can at least record the other parts. Until we get a rhythm guitarist, I'll just do the part in the studio too." John started to smile and looked shyly at the floor. "What is it?" Mark asked, puzzled."I, uh...actually, I play bass.""You're kidding." Mark gasped, staring at him with his mouth open. He looked like a fish out of water."No." John giggled shyly. "I haven't played for a long time, but I played in a band when I was a teenager and at also university.""Oh my God!" Mark jumped excitedly in circles, which made Flora and John laugh. "Oh my God, finally!" Mark shrieked like a little child and wrapped his arms tightly around John. "I have so many ideas! And I've already written so many songs! There's this one, it's called "Water of love". And...and I've written another one! It's called "Setting me up." I wrote it when I was with that toxic girl I told you about and...""Sh." John giggled, putting his index finger to Mark's lips. "Calm down.""John, you don't understand!" Mark screeched excitedly, pulling at his hair. "I've wanted to record this damn album my whole life, but I never had the money or a bassist and now...""Now you have both." John giggled."That is, if...if you want to be my bassist." Mark murmured, looking shyly at the floor. John smiled gently and kissed him on the lips."I've been your bassist for a long time, my love."“You have to meet Pick! Damn, he’ll be amazed!” Mark shouted excitedly and ran to the phone to call his friend.*An hour later, the doorbell rang. Mark went down to the shop to let Pick in. John put food on plates and waited with Flora at the kitchen table. Mark could already be heard laughing quite loudly in the stairwell, but it was still a while before the two men entered the room. Mark told Pick where to leave his jacket and shoes before the two entered the kitchen. John looked at the small man. He really wasn't very tall, smaller than Mark. John estimated him to be 1.75m tall. He was wearing white jeans and a dark blue shirt. His face looked older than Mark's, which is why John estimated him to be 37. There was a smile on his face that John found inviting."This is Pick Withers, my best friend." Mark beamed and pointed to Pick. "And this is John Illsley, my boyfriend." Mark's cheeks turned red as he said this. "And the lovely girl is Flora Illsley, John's daughter.""And yours too." John smiled as he stood up and offered Pick his hand."Damn, you're tall as hell, mate." Pick said bluntly, making the group laugh. "Nice to meet you. Mark’s told me a lot ‘bout you." The drummer then grinned as they pulled their hands apart."Oh. Has he?" John asked, glancing sideways at Mark."Only good things!" Mark called, raising his hands in the air. They laughed."Come sit down. The food’s ready." Pick smiled and sat down at the table. He sat opposite from Flora."Hello young lady." He smiled and offered her his hand too. The girl giggled. They ate and talked about various things. When John had put the plates in the sink and they were sitting at the table with drinks, Pick asked: "So, why am I here, Mark? Not just because you wanted to introduce me to John, I guess?" Mark giggled a little and stood up."Wait here." He disappeared into the next room. Pick giggled. A moment later Mark came back and slapped two banknotes on the table. When Mark pulled his hand back, Pick's eyes widened."120 pounds!? Mark, where the hell did you get so much money from!?""Promotion." Grinned the taller man. "And you know what those 120 pounds are enough for, huh?" Pick's expression changed to a grin before he slowly stood up. The two men stood facing each other. John watched, grinning."Mark, you bloody bastard!" Pick shouted and fell into his arms. The two men jumped excitedly in a circle and hugged each other. Flora laughed as she watched them, she had never seen anyone so happy. "You bloody bastard!" John screamed excitedly. Mark laughed at the top of his lungs. "Damn, we can record the damn album!" Mark grinned. When the two had calmed down a bit, Pick thought: "But what about the bass, Mark? I can't play bass. Can you?" Mark grinned and stood up. He wrapped his arms around John, who was still sitting on his chair."May I introduce? John Edward Illsley. The band's new bassist." Pick's eyes widened and he stared at John, who smiled shyly."You're telling me you just happened to fuck a bassist!?""Pick!" Mark screamed, his cheeks red. John laughed, which made Pick grin. "First of all, there's a kid in the room and secondly, we didn't fuck at all.""Whatever." Pick waved his hand carelessly. "So you really are a bassist?" Pick leaned across the table and looked at John with interest."Mhm." John hummed. "But I have to warn you, I haven't played in a while.""Pah, I'm sure you can still do it!" Shouted the drummer. Mark smiled. Since it was already quite late, Mark put Flora to bed. That gave Pick and John some time alone, since the girl wanted to have a bedtime story read to her."How did you meet Mark, Pick?" John asked interestedly. They had all calmed down a bit and arranged to rehearse in a week."Oh, we met at university. Mark studied journalism and I studied communications technology. Mark’s a year younger than me. We literally ran into each other. In the cafeteria. Mark's shirt was rubbish after I spilled tomato soup on it." Pick laughed. John giggled a little. "He already told me how you met him." John leaned a little to the side to see if Mark was on his way to the kitchen, but Flora's room door was still closed."Can I ask you something?""Anything, brother. We're in band mates." Pick smiled. John grinned."I...you know what...what's bothering Mark? He's often so depressed and I don't know why. He doesn't want to tell me. He thinks that I wouldn't love him anymore." Pick's smile disappeared and his eyebrows furrowed. He let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair."John, I...I know why." He took a deep breath. "I also know why...why you haven't had sex yet." John's cheeks turned red. "Or have you?" John shook his head."No. I saw his upper body naked for the first time yesterday." Pick nodded silently."The scars too, I guess." John's eyes widened and he nodded. "Look, John. I see that you love him and that you want to help him. But I...I don't want to abuse his trust, you know? If he tells you himself, it's different.""I understand." John sighed."Please, don't be mad at me.""Don't worry." John smiled gently. "I understand that you don't want to betray him." The drummer smiled and nodded before reaching out a hand and placing it on John's."You're good for him." The curly-headed man looked at him in surprise. "He really loves you very much. Once you've won Mark Knopfler's love, you'll never lose it again." John blushed slightly. "He would do anything for you, you know? Please treat him well. He's been through enough shit in his life already." John took a deep breath and nodded. “If not I will take care of you and kick your tall ass.” Pick threatened. “And no one will ever find you anymore, nor find out about it. I know places, no one will search for you.” John giggled and ignored the threat."I know. I don't know everything, but I can imagine." Pick nodded silently. Suddenly Mark came running around the corner, holding up a deck of cards."Gentlemen, games night is open!" The men laughed.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
John was awakened in the middle of the night when someone moved next to him. The tall curly-head raised his head sleepily. His eyes took a while to orient themselves in the darkness. He could see Mark on the bed next to him. He was lying on his back, his lips moving. He mumbled words as his body rolled back and forth."No." Mark croaked quietly. "Stop." John rubbed his sleepy eyes and sat up in bed. The blanket slipped off his body. "Please." Mark whimpered."Hey. Honey." John hummed quietly and leaned forward to put his hand on Mark's cheek. Mark began to thrash around wildly and scream loudly. "Mark! Wake up!" John shouted. "It's me! John! Wake up!" Mark gasped sharply, jumped up and screamed at the top of his lungs. John flinched as he was frightened. "Calm down!" John exclaimed and tried to touch Mark's shoulder, but Mark flinched away. Tears streamed from his eyes."Don't touch me." He sobbed weakly and crawled off the bed. "Please stop." John looked at him worriedly. Suddenly the bedroom door squeaked open. John turned his head and spotted Flora. She was standing in the doorway, dressed in her pyjamas, rubbing her tired eyes."Daddy? What's wrong?" She asked sleepily. John raised his hand to silence her before getting off the bed and walking towards Mark. He had retreated to the floor in a corner of the room and was sobbing while rocking himself."Mark. Please calm down." John said gently and walked towards him. "It's all fine. It was just a dream. Nothing will happen to you. No one will hurt you. It's just me and Flora here.""Go away." Mark sobbed brokenly as he rocked back and forth. "Please leave me alone." John sighed worriedly and pulled his arms back. "Please go.""Mark, I won't leave you alone in this state.""What's wrong with Pops?" Flora asked quietly. John turned his head and looked at his daughter, who was now walking towards them."He had a nightmare. That's all. Go back to sleep." John said softly."But nightmares are bad, Dad!" She exclaimed in horror and walked towards Mark. She sat down on the floor in front of him and put her small hand on his knee. Mark raised his head in shock. "Did you have a nightmare, Pops?" She asked quietly. Mark bit his lower lip and nodded weakly before wiping the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand. Flora sat down next to Mark and put her arms around his neck. John watched in silence, biting his lower lip. "You don't have to be sad. It was just a dream, you know? Nothing real." She said quietly. Mark chuckled weakly and closed his eyes as he hugged the little girl too."It really happened, you know?" He whispered."But even then, it's in the past." Flora said quietly. "Dad always told me that nightmares are just my imagination. I don't have to be afraid of them." Mark smiled weakly."Thanks." Flora pulled away from the hug with a smile and handed Mark her stuffed kangaroo."Here. Keep it overnight." Mark giggled and sniffled, wiping tears from his cheek with the back of his hand. "Goodnight, Pops. Love you." She kissed Mark's cheek and then walked back to her room. Mark watched her go. John smiled slightly as he sat on the bed and looked over at Mark."Do you want to talk about it?" He asked quietly. Mark sighed deeply and looked down at the stuffed animal."I...I don't know.""You need to know though." John chuckled. "Maybe you'd feel better if you told someone about it, you know? Whatever it is, keeping it to yourself can be bad for your mental health." Mark sighed deeply and got up from the floor before closing the bedroom door. "Mark?" John asked, dumbfounded. The younger man lay back on the bed and turned off the light. He took John's arm and put it around his waist before sliding his back against John's chest. Silent tears ran from Mark's eyes as he tightened his fingers around John's hand."Can you please hug me?" Mark asked in a tearful voice. "That's all I need." John sighed worriedly and wrapped his arms around Mark's body before kissing the back of his head. "Of course. I love you.""Thank you." Mark whispered and closed his eyes before sniffling quietly. John gently rubbed Mark's arm with his thumb and kissed the back of his head again."I love you."*The next morning, a Monday, Mark was the first to get up and freshen up for work. John was still in bed when Mark and Flora left the house together and made their way to school. The curly-haired man cleaned up the apartment, prepared food and then opened the shop. It was a day like every other. Pretty monotonous and boring. But John just couldn't help but think about what had happened that night. What was Mark hiding? Something was very wrong, but John just didn't know what. When Mark and Flora came home that afternoon, John wanted to talk to his lover about the events of the evening, but that never happened. Mark led Flora into the shop."Hello John.""Hello Mark." John smiled gently and wanted to hug the smaller man, but he turned around and walked to the door of the shop. "Where are you going?" John asked, confused."Oh, I still have to go to the office and finish writing my article. I also have to go to my apartment. Do the laundry and tidy up, you know?""When... when are you coming back?" John asked. Mark stood in the doorway and didn't turn around. John walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Is it because of what happened last night? Is that why you don't want to sleep in my bed anymore? Mark, we need to talk, we…”“Don’t be ridiculous.” Mark laughed a little. “I’ll be back as soon as I’ve got my apartment in order, okay? Don’t worry. You can call me in the evening if it calms your nerves.” John let out a sigh. He knew something was wrong. He could hear it in Mark’s voice, but he didn’t want to make the younger man angry, so he nodded and placed a gentle kiss on Mark’s neck.“Okay. I love you. Take care of yourself, okay?”“Mhm. I will. Bye, John! Bye, Flora!” With that, the shop door closed behind him. John watched worriedly as the green Golf drove out of the street. Something wasn’t right and he could practically smell it.*The day passed and Mark didn’t come back. John called him, but no one answered the phone. John couldn’t sleep that night. He was very worried about Mark. When two more days passed in which Mark didn't call, didn't answer the phone, and didn't show up at John's apartment, the bassist decided to call Pick Withers. He had looked up the number in the phone book and rang for a few minutes before he could finally hear Pick's voice."Withers.""Pick? It's me, John. John Illsley.""Mark's John?" Pick's tired voice asked. John felt his cheeks warm at these words and he giggled a little."Yeah. Exactly.""Hi buddy, how are you?""Well... I'm really worried about Mark, you know?" John started to tell the story. Pick listened carefully. "And that's why I called you." John sniffed loudly. "Have you heard anything from him in the last few days?""I'm afraid I have to disappoint you." Pick sighed. "I haven't spoken to him in the last few days either. To be honest, the last time I saw him was when I was at your place.”“What should I do?” John asked worriedly.“Well, maybe you should just visit him at his apartment? He won’t kick you out if you’re there, will he?”“Yeah, but…” John bit his lower lip. “I don’t know where he lives. I’ve never been to his place.”“Honestly?” Pick asked, surprised. “Well, I can give you his address if you want.”“That would be fabulous.” John smiled, getting a pad and a pen.“He lives at 13a Teetotal Street.”“Teetotal?” John giggled.“Yeah.” Pick grinned. “Easy to remember, eh? Are you going there right now?”“I don’t have a car, Pick.” John said. “So I have to find out which underground goes there.”“Oh, that’s easy. If you go to Central Station, take the U5 towards East London and the stop is called the same as Mark's street.""Thanks." John smiled. "You really helped me.""No problem. What about Flora? Are you taking her with you?" John's smile faltered. Damn, he hadn't thought about that. It was a Friday, but still... "Should I look after her, John?" John's eyes widened."Do you have time? I mean... I can't ask you to.""Nonsense." Pick giggled. "I already told you that we're a band. If you want, she can stay at my place and you can pick her up tomorrow morning.""If it wouldn't be too much trouble...""No. No problem."*And so it happened that John and Flora found themselves in the underground. It was already dark outside and late in the evening. John had had to wake his daughter. There were a few spooky people on the train, which prompted Flora to take her father's hand. John smiled gently at her. Soon the two arrived at Central Station. Pick was already waiting on the platform. Flora hugged him happily. She had only met him once, but she already liked him."Hello John." Pick smiled after putting Flora back on the ground."Hi, Pick." John gave him a quick hug. "I... I really don't want you to think, that I'm pushing my daughter away or something...I mean, we've only met once and normally I would never give her to a stranger but...""But?" The little drummer raised an eyebrow and grinned."Well, you're Mark's best friend. So I rely on him.""Don't worry, buddy. We'll watch a movie or something and then we'll go to sleep, right Flora?" The girl raised her head, smiling, and nodded. A whistle on the railway track signalled that a new train was arriving. "That's your train, buddy." Pick smiled. John turned his head in shock when he saw the train arriving. He quickly knelt down and kissed Flora's forehead."Be a good girl and listen to Uncle Pick, alright? I'll pick you up tomorrow. I love you.""Love you too, Dad." John smiled gently at his daughter before running to the train. He just managed to get on before the doors closed. John took a deep breath and sighed when he saw his reflection in the window. Damn, he had absolutely no idea what was waiting for him.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
The ride took about 15 minutes. When John got out of the subway station and up to the street, it was already 9 p.m. The curly-haired man yawned loudly before stretching and starting to look for the right house. It took longer than he thought to find number 13a, but after asking a man on the street, he found his destination. John opened the door of the apartment block, took the old lift and went up to the fifth floor. The building was quite old. It didn't seem to have been restored. John looked around before the lift doors opened. The bassist got out and walked down a long hallway before finding the apartment door that had Mark's last name on it. Knopfler. John smiled a little as he raised his hand to knock on the door. Suddenly a door in the hallway opened and a man threw a woman out."Don't you fucking show your face here again, you whore!""Ah, piss off, son of a bitch!" The woman shouted angrily. Her makeup was crooked and she was wearing a very, very short skirt. John's eyes widened when he realized that she really was a prostitute. What scared him most was the way people talked to each other here. He quickly knocked on the door."He won't open the door for you, handsome." The woman hummed with a grin as she walked towards John and lit a cigarette. "Good old Mark is heartbroken, you know?" John looked at her in confusion. "Hasn't come out of his hole for two days.""Excuse me...who are you?" John asked in confusion."Ah, sweetheart, you're new here, huh?" She grinned and wrapped one of John's curls around her fingers. The bassist pushed her away in disgust."Listen, madam. I'm not here to seek company. I just want to visit Mark, that's all.""Ah, Mark’s in love." She grinned and leaned against the wall."Excuse me?" John asked, confused."Mhm." She hummed. "The poor thing still thinks that this prince is going to get him out of this hole." She let out a laugh. "He may wear his suit and work at the newspaper, but at the end of the day he's no better than me. And he knows it." John knocked on the door again, uncertain. "Poor Mark." She sighed, grinning. "I bet he told you about it, huh?""Told me about what?" John asked, confused."Oh. He didn't?" She let out a laugh. "Well, I won't give away any secrets." The apartment door opened, revealing Mark. He was wearing old sweatpants and a white undershirt. His hair looked messy, his eyes bloodshot."What are you doing here, Candy?" Mark asked angrily and in a rough voice. The woman let out a laugh."You have visitors." Mark turned his head, his eyes widened when he saw John standing in the hallway. His heart skipped a beat."What...John, what are you doing here?" He asked with wide eyes."I was worried about you. You didn't answer the phone." The shop owner replied worriedly. "So Pick gave me your address and I came over.""Oh, how sweet, you didn't tell him where you lived?" Candy laughed. "Are you ashamed, Marky boy?""Fuck off, Candy." Mark growled angrily."Did you even tell him anything about yourself?""Fuck off!" Mark shouted angrily and pushed the woman against a wall. John's eyes widened. He had never seen Mark like this before and, above all, he had never heard such words come out of his mouth."Come on, honey." John said quietly and reached out to take Mark's hand. "Leave her alone. She's not worth it." Mark sighed resignedly. Candy looked at the two men's joined hands with wide eyes. Without hesitation, John entered the apartment and pulled Mark behind him. He closed the door. "Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?" John asked angrily. "You should have told me at least leave a message or something, or at least…” John stopped in the middle of his sentence as his eyes turned to Mark’s living room. Most of the furniture was old and dirty. There was an old carpet on the floor and a single potted plant. It looked pretty pathetic, to be fair.“John, please…” But John ignored the teacher. He let go of Mark’s hand and walked slowly through the apartment. His eyes widened when he saw the state of the apartment. The state of Mark’s apartment. He pushed open a squeaky door and revealed an old bed with a slanted closet. Mark stood silently behind the curly-headed man, looking at the floor and biting his lower lip.“Mark, why didn’t you ever tell me that you…that you live in such a bad apartment?”“Bad? I don’t know what you mean.” The younger man muttered, biting his lower lip.“Were you ashamed to tell me? Is that why you always came to me and never invited me over?""Oh, I just thought that...""Don't lie to me, Mark." John hissed. "What in God's name is going on here? You just disappear without saying a word, disappear for days without answering the phone, and if I hadn't found out your address with Pick's help, I still wouldn't be talking to you now. What the hell is going on all of a sudden?""I..." Mark let out a sigh."Why didn't you ever tell me what terrible conditions you have to live in? Did you think I would laugh at you?""I... I thought you didn't want anything to do with me anymore." Mark said quietly. "And somehow... you're disgusted by me right now. Just because you saw where I live. So I was right in my assumptions.""Mark, don't be ridiculous. Why should I be disgusted? I...I just didn't know you lived in such an old apartment.""I told you I don't have much money." Mark sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Did you think I was going to live in a hotel suite?" The teacher scoffed. John sighed. "Why are you even here if it disgusts you so much?" Mark asked irritably, bending down to pick up a sock from the floor."You still ask that?" John asked in a tear-filled voice. Mark, who had turned his back on him and was on his way to the bathroom, stopped. "Because I love you. I'm worried about you." John let out a weak sob. "I know you're not well. But I can't help you if you don't tell me what happened. Back in the children's home." The guitarist bit his lower lip hard. John slowly walked towards the smaller man and wrapped his arms around him. "I love you so much that it hurts when you're not by my side. I could never lose you again and I can't imagine what it would be like if you left me. I love you, Mark. I love you so much. I've never loved anyone in my whole life as much as I love you." Mark felt tears in his eyes and lowered his head. "I know you haven't experienced much love in your life, but that can change. Mark, I'm not disgusted by your apartment because it's old. I was just shocked to see how bad you really are. When you told me that you don't eat much, I thought it was because you don't have time to cook. But I've come to realize that it's because you don't have money for food. Why on earth didn't you tell me about it?""I don't have to burden the whole world with my problems." Mark sighed."Mark, you are the love of my life. My soul mate, my match, my...call it what you want." Mark let out a weak chuckle. "If you can't tell me, who in the world could you tell?" Mark lowered his head and whimpered weakly."Why are you here?" John gently placed two fingers under Mark's chin and lifted it up. He smiled weakly at the younger man."Because of you, you idiot." John pulled him tightly to his chest. Mark began to cry and they stood pressed together in the middle of Mark's living room. John gently rubbed Mark's back and cradled him in his arms as he hummed. "Sh. Don't cry, darling." John sat down on the old sofa without hesitation and pulled Mark onto his lap. The smaller man leaned against John's chest and had his face buried in his shoulder as he sat on John's lap. John held Mark's hip tightly and rubbed his back with his other hand. "Sh. Sh." He cooed softly. "Don't cry." Mark sobbed weakly. John rocked him gently and closed his eyes before he began to sing softly, like he always did when Flora was a baby. After a few minutes, Mark's sobs stopped and turned into soft sniffles. John smiled."I'm sorry." Mark sniffed softly and raised his head. He looked at the older man with tear-filled eyes and swollen bags under his eyes."Are you feeling better?" John asked gently, smiling at him. He raised his hand and gently stroked Mark's cheek with the back of his hand."Yes." Mark smiled weakly."Are you hungry?" Mark let out a giggle. "I mean it." John grinned and kissed Mark's forehead. "Are you hungry?""It's late..." Mark murmured."That doesn't answer my question. Are you hungry?""I..." Mark bit his lower lip before nodding."Have you eaten anything today?" Mark grumbled in the negative. John nodded, sat Mark down on the sofa next to him and smiled gently. "Shall we order pizza?" Mark laughed."John, it's already late and...""So what?" John grinned at him. "Where's your phone?" Mark giggled and pointed into the kitchen. "What kind of pizza do you like?" John asked from the kitchen."Ham, salami and onion." The younger man giggled. John nodded and shortly afterwards he had ordered two pizzas."We're going to make ourselves comfortable here, shall we?" John pushed a few cushions around on the sofa before sitting down next to Mark again."Where's Flora?" The teacher asked quietly."Oh, Pick’s looking after her." Mark's eyes widened."Pick? Do you have any idea what he's going to give her to eat?" John giggled."No. He said they were going to watch a film and then go to sleep.""A film? Ha! Pick has a popcorn machine at home, mate. You don't think he can't impress Flora with that, do you?" Both men burst out laughing.*About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rang. The pizza was there. John paid the pizza delivery guy and then came into the living room with the boxes, smiling. Mark was wrapped in a blanket, snuggling up to John while they watched a movie."Dinner’s ready!" John called. Mark raised his head and giggled when he saw the boxes. John put the boxes on the small living room table before sitting down next to Mark and opening them. Steam rose towards him. The two men began to eat their pizzas. Mark gasped and waved his hand in front of his mouth. "What is it?" John giggled."Burned myself." Mark grumbled, making the older man giggle."Take your time, I won't eat your pizza." Mark's cheeks flushed at these words. They continued watching the movie and eating their pizza. Mark slid to John's side and snuggled up to him, making the older man look up in surprise."John?" He asked quietly."Mh?" John grumbled as he chewed the pizza in his mouth."I...do you know that you...that you're the first person who ever loved me?" He asked quietly. "Loved me romantically?" John turned his head and looked at him questioningly. "I...Holly didn't love me, you know. She took advantage of me. And all the partners I've had before just took advantage of me. But you...you're the first person to love me." Mark felt tears in his eyes. "And damn it makes me emotional." John smiled and craned his neck to kiss Mark's forehead."I'm glad I found you, Mark." Mark sighed contentedly as he got comfortable."I'm glad I found you too. And that I decided for this relationship.” John giggled.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
They spent the rest of the night cuddling. Mark had quite enjoyed falling asleep in his boyfriend's arms. And when Mark suffered from nightmares again at night, John didn't say a word about it. He pulled him closer to his chest, kissed his neck and whispered quietly before the younger man had calmed down again. John was worried. He had absolutely no idea what was wrong with his lover, but he wanted to find out. Since Mark didn't answer him, John had looked up Eric Clapton's phone number. Flora was at school, Mark was in the office, so John had time. He made himself comfortable in his chair in the shop and turned the dial, since there were no customers in the shop at the time. It rang for quite a while and John was about to hang up the phone when he suddenly heard a female voice:"Clapton.""Hello." John said, smiling slightly. "This is John. John Illsley. I assume you’re Patty Clapton?""Yes?" The woman asked uncertainly. "I don't know who you are, sir.""Oh, we've only met once, ma'am. I'm Mark Knopfler's boyfriend. Remember? We met at the children's home party in Newcastle.""Oh!" She exclaimed. John smiled. "Mark's John?""Yes, exactly." John giggled. He had already gotten used to being called that by Mark's friends."Hello John, darling. How are you?" John smiled."Very well, thanks. How are you? Is little Brian here yet?" John heard a giggle over the line."No, not yet. But he’ll be soon." She sighed. "I'm scared to be honest.""Oh." John said quietly. "You don't have to. You'll get through it all, right? Eric will be by your side. And I promise you, it’ll be the best moment of your life." Patty giggled."Well, why did you call, John?""Is Eric there?" John asked, taking a sip of his tea. The bassist grimaced when he realized that the tea was already cold. Damn."Yes. Wait, I'll get him quickly." The line remained quiet. John sighed deeply and wiped some dust from his right eye with his fingertips."Clapton." A male voice said."Ah. Hello Eric. This is John.""Yes. Mark's John. Patty told me." The older man giggled. John smiled gently. "Why are you calling?""Well, I..." John let out a sigh. "I want to talk to you about the children's home.""What do you mean?""I...Mark has been having bad nightmares for the past few weeks." John said, scribbling on a piece of paper with a ballpoint pen as he spoke. "I'm really worried because the nightmares are getting worse. But he doesn't want to talk about it. I've told him many times that I won't judge him and that he can always tell me everything when he's ready, but...he never does. And I...I wanted to know if you could tell me what the hell is going on because..." John felt tears in his eyes. "I love him." He said in a choked voice. "And I don't want to see him suffer." There was a loud sigh on the line, followed by a moment of silence. "Mark’s ashamed of everything, you know? He was ashamed of his apartment too." John muttered."John, I...I don't want to lose Mark's trust if I tell you what happened." John let out a frustrated growl."That's literally all I'm being told! It's not helping me! I need to know what happened in that damn children's home!" John shouted angrily."John, calm down." Eric said quietly. "Mark, he..." John heard Eric exhale. "Damn it John, what do you think happens to a boy in a children's home? Some teachers are damn strict and will also become violent if you do something they don't like or if they've heard lies about you. Mark was a Scottish boy and ended up in an English children's home. Children can be cruel, John." The bassist listened in amazement."That doesn't explain why he cut his wrists." John muttered."Desperation. That was simply out of desperation. He always blamed himself for the death of his parents and the cold relationship in the children's home didn't help. The children there... were more than cruel. The teenagers used younger boys to bully them and... to do worse things." John looked down in amazement at his right hand, which was still drawing boxes on the sheet of paper.“What are you trying to tell me?”“Damn it, John. Think about what I’m saying. I don’t want to tell you anything more. It’s Mark’s job to tell you.”“But he’ll never do that!”“Maybe he just feels too insecure to tell you.” Eric suggested.“That doesn’t help me.” The bassist sighed resignedly.“I heard you’re recording an album soon?”“Hmm.” John grumbled thoughtfully."Listen to his lyrics.""What?""Listen to his lyrics. Think about the lyrics he writes. Listen to his voice when he sings those lyrics. And think about what I told you. And...don't think in a good way when you think up the scenario." With that, Eric ended the call. John looked down at the receiver in surprise. He let out a frustrated cry and slammed the receiver down on the phone."Damn, that didn't get me anywhere!" He shouted angrily.*That evening, John sat pretty quietly at the dinner table. Flora and Mark were making all sorts of jokes and giggling with each other while the tall, curly-headed man quietly poked at his food. He wasn't hungry. His thoughts were still circling around Eric's words and he had absolutely no idea how to solve this damn puzzle."John? Are you okay?" Mark asked, pulling him out of his thoughts."Huh? Yes. Yes, I'm fine." The bassist mumbled and ate another forkful of spinach. Mark had cooked. Spinach with salmon. Not exactly cheap but Mark had assured him that he hadn't bought the fish too expensively. While Mark looked at the bassist worriedly, Flora babbled on unsuspectingly about something her PE teacher had said. After dinner, Mark cleared the table. Flora ran into the living room. John wanted to follow her, but Mark's voice stopped him:"John?""Mh?" The bassist grumbled and stopped, but didn't turn around."What's wrong?" Mark scraped some leftover food into the garbage before putting his hands on his hips."What could be wrong? I'm just tired.""Don't kid me. You listen to Flora every evening. No matter what she says and no matter whether you're interested or not. Today you're kind of distant." Mark walked up to John. "Something's wrong.""You're just imagining it." John muttered. "I just need to think, that's all. Are you doing the dishes? I'm too tired to do that today." Mark sighed."Yes, I will. Don't worry."*A few days passed, John watched Mark's nightmares at night. And somehow he didn't know what to do. Mark woke up in the night, drenched in sweat, and sat up in bed. He gasped loudly and stared into the darkness of the room. The only light came from the moon through the window, which allowed John to see him. The bassist didn't move, pretending to be asleep, but in reality he was watching Mark. The younger man tried to calm himself down and breathed shakily. He put a hand on his chest and crumpled his t-shirt in his fist. John studied his posture and bit his lower lip. Mark gasped for a while before his breathing calmed down again. He wiped sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and slowly lay back down."John?" He whispered suddenly. "Are you awake?" The bassist bit his lower lip hard, but didn't move a millimetre. After a few seconds of silence, Mark said quietly: "I'm sorry for being like this. But I...I'm just afraid of losing you if I tell you the truth. I...I just know that I...that you wouldn't want me anymore and damn it's selfish of me to keep it from you. But I...I'm just not ready." Mark sighed quietly. "Why am I even telling him?" Mark whispered to himself. "He's sleeping anyway." John couldn't help but smile slightly. Mark pulled his blanket over his body and took a deep breath. "I'll tell you soon, John. I promise." John pretended to reach out to Mark in his sleep. The guitarist smiled gently and took John's hand in his before rubbing the back of his hand. "I love you." Mark whispered. John smiled weakly before closing his eyes and trying to sleep. But in vain.*"Dad? Pops?" Flora asked one afternoon when they were all in the kitchen."Mh?" John grumbled, concentrating. While Flora was doing her homework, John was writing some calculations. Mark was standing at the stove and cooking food."Have you ever had sex?" John raised his head in surprise while Mark turned away from the stove with a wooden spoon in his hand."What makes you think that?" John asked, confused."Well, I didn't have math today. We had a substitute and the teacher we had did biology with us. Sex education." Mark turned his head and looked at John in surprise."You did sex education in second grade?""Well, like I said, it was in a substitute class." Flora murmured quietly."What did you do in that class?" John asked in surprise."Well, we looked at what women look like and what men look like." Flora said."Yes?" John asked, prompting her to continue speaking."And the teacher said that babies aren't made when people love each other. And that no stork comes to bring the babies. A woman and a man have to have sex. What does that mean, Dad?" She asked, surprised."Didn't she explain to you what sex is?" John asked."No. The lesson was over by then. And I mean... I don't really care. I don't have biology, but... I was wondering if you'd had sex yet. Mrs. Miller said people who love each other very much have sex and you love each other, don't you?" John's mouth was pretty wide open and he looked like a fish out of water. Mark giggled a little."Come here, Flo." He said gently. The girl jumped up from her chair and walked towards Mark. She raised her head to look up at him. But she didn't have to do that for very long, because Mark knelt down to be at eye level with her. "That's a topic that doesn't have to interest you for now." Mark said calmly. John was still staring at his daughter, perplexed. He hadn't thought he would ever have to explain something like that to her, especially not at such a young age. "Love is very complicated, you know?""But why? You and Dad love each other." She said, surprised. Mark giggled a little."It's... it's complicated. And you'll realize it yourself at some point. Love consists of many ups and downs and in the end it all comes down to how you can solve problems together. Sex... well, sex is basically there to make babies, you know?" Flora looked at him in surprise. “But people also do it to show their love for each other.”"Mark, stop!" John exclaimed somewhat angrily."Why?" Mark asked, surprised."She's much too young for this topic!""So what?" Mark asked, looking at him defiantly. "Why should she stay stupid and uneducated? Besides, it's important that she knows what it is so that no one can force it on her.""Force it on me?" Flora asked, surprised."If someone forces you to have sex, Flo, it's no longer sex. Then it's rape.""Mark, she's 8 years old!" John shouted angrily and stood up, throwing Flora's books on the floor."This topic’s important." Mark protested."I'm not going to sit here and listen to you explaining to my eight-year-old daughter what rape is!" John shouted in horror."John...""No! There's a limit somewhere!" John shouted. He was damn angry. He didn't want to talk about this topic and, above all, he didn't want Mark to explain any of it to Flora."Dad, what’s rape?" She asked."See! That's exactly what I meant!" John shouted angrily. "Flo, this is nothing you need to worry about. Something like this will never happen to you.""John, you don't know that." Mark said quietly. "The best way to protect her is to explain to her as early as possible what it is and that she has to keep people away if they touch her in certain places and...""That's enough!" John shouted. Mark fell silent. "You've gone too far, Mark! You have no right to raise my daughter!" Flora looked back and forth between the two men in amazement. Why had they become so angry about a simple question? "My daughter is not a whore and will never have these experiences!""John, what does rape have to do with a whore?" Mark asked. "It can happen to anyone and...""Oh, you know all about things like that, don't you?" John teased. He was angry and was completely unaware of what he was saying. When he was angry, his brain stopped working and the words just bubbled out of his mouth. "You have no idea about this subject. You can't even explain to her what sex is because you've never had loving sex, as it should be. Holly used you like a toy and no one else was interested in you! You have no idea about it! So don't ever speak about this subject again and especially not in front of my daughter!" Mark felt tears in his eyes. His throat felt constricted, his breathing had quickened. He bit his lower lip hard, before reaching out and gently stroking Flora's cheek."No, honey. We've never had sex." He said in a shaky voice, answering her question. "I guess we never will either.""But you and Dad love each other, Pops!" She exclaimed. Mark lowered his head and took a shaky breath."You're too young for this subject, Flo." Mark stood up."Pops, why are you crying?" Flora asked quietly and worriedly. John's eyes widened when he heard those words come out of Flora's mouth. His attention immediately turned to Mark. The younger man smiled at the girl through tears."Don't worry about me. I'm fine." He kissed her forehead and then left the room.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
Mark had driven to his apartment that night. John had realized he had done something bad because Mark had obviously been crying. The bassist was lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. What the hell was he supposed to do? He didn't even know why he had gotten so angry. Flora had cried when Mark left and it had torn John's heart apart. He had said horrible things to him. "Nobody was interested in you." John heard his own words repeating over and over in his head. He had hit Mark hard with those words and thinking about it made John cry. He curled up in his bed and sobbed weakly. Why was he unable to have a healthy relationship? It had been their first argument and he knew it would happen at some point but he hadn't thought he would be the one to start the argument.*Two days later the musicians met in the studio. Pick, who worked in this studio, had been given permission by his boss to rehearse something there after the end of his shift. However, they were not allowed to record a tape because that would cost money and they wanted to practice first. This was of course best done in a studio. When John got there, holding his bass case in one hand and Flora’s hand in the other, he saw Mark's green car parked in front of the small recording studio. He hadn't spoken to Mark for two days and his concern was growing."Look, Dad! Pops is already here!" Flora called out excitedly. John sighed and they made their way into the building. When John opened the door, he could already hear Pick's voice. Flora ran ahead, John followed her with the bass case in his hand."Well, who do we have here?" Pick asked with a grin and lifted Flora briefly into the air. The girl giggled excitedly."Hello uncle Pick.""Hello little one. How are you?""Very well." She smiled excitedly. "I miss your popcorn machine.""Maybe you can come visit me one more time." Pick grinned and winked at her, which made her giggle."Pops!" Flora called excitedly as a door opened and Mark appeared. He was wearing black jeans and a red striped long-sleeved shirt. He looked pretty tired."Hello Flo." He smiled and knelt down. The girl hugged him. "How are you?""Pretty good. I missed you." Mark smiled and rubbed her back."Missed you too." John stood silently in the room and watched them."Oh hello John." Pick smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "You can take your bass to the studio. Mark’ll show you the way, right Mark?" He turned his attention to the younger man. Mark nodded silently. "Want an ice cream, Flo?" The girl turned around and beamed at Pick."Do you have one?""Maybe." The drummer grinned cheekily. Flora ran towards him, laughing. John smiled slightly. Mark held the door open for him as he walked into a small hallway with the bass case. It was quiet between the two as the tall bassist followed the guitarist. They entered a narrow room filled with a drum kit, microphones, cables and amplifiers."The bass amplifier is over there." Mark said, pointing to a large black box to the left of the drum kit. John nodded and walked towards the amplifier. He opened his case and took out his bass guitar. "Here." Mark handed him a cable. John took it, but when Mark tried to pull his hand back, the bassist grabbed Mark's wrist. The younger man gasped and hissed loudly. John's eyes widened and focused on Mark's face."What's wrong?" He asked, confused. Mark jerked his arm out of John's grip."You scared me, that's all." Mark went to a music stand on which there were lots of papers. "Can you read music? Or rather, do you need notes to play?" John shook his head."I can't read music.""That's fine. Neither can I nor Pick. Who needs music notes anyway?" John giggled a little. Mark handed him a piece of paper with something scribbled on it. "Pick and I have already thought up the drum and guitar parts. The bass is still missing." John nodded and looked at the paper. "I suggest we play it for you, but maybe you want to tune your bass and adjust the amplifier first." With that, the younger man left the room. John sighed deeply. Mark was obviously still pretty angry with him. John's brown eyes focused on the paper and the handwriting that was immortalized there in blue ink.
Southbound again
Don't know if I'm going or leaving home
Southbound againDon't know if I'm going or leaving homeBoy's bound to be movingSeems like the boy's bound to roamOh, every single timeI roll across the rolling river TyneEvery single timeI roll across the rolling River TyneOh, I get the same old feelingEvery time I'm moving down the line[Guitar Solo]Southbound againLast night I felt like crying, like cryingSouthbound againLast night I felt like cryingBy now I'm sick of livingBut I'm gonna keep on trying, keep on trying
(Southbound again by Mark Knopfler)John's eyes widened when he read the second to last line of the lyrics. Mark was tired of life? What...what the hell was he saying!? The whole lyrics were about how Mark went from his hometown of Newcastle to London to become famous in a band...John actually liked the lyrics, because he knew about the struggle people felt when leaving their hometown for success. He hadn't read any of Mark's lyrics before, so he was quite amazed by the story of the song. But the second to last line gave him a stomach ache.*The rehearsal had been very quiet and orderly. They hadn't spoken much, but had still communicated well with each other. The bass part for the song was composed quickly and John had immediately had a few ideas after hearing Mark and Pick's version of the song. After they had cleaned up, Pick had suggested that they could order pizza. And so it was that they were sitting in the studio office, each eating a pizza. Flora hadn't gotten her own, so she ate half of John's pizza."Can I try your pizza, Pops?" She asked, pointing to half of Mark's pizza. The guitarist smiled gently and reached out his arms to pick the girl up. He sat her on his lap and handed her a piece of his pizza. "Thanks." The girl giggled and took a delicious bite of the piece. Mark smiled weakly before sighing and brushing a few strands of hair from her face. John watched in silence."Have you ever thought about having kids of your own, lad?" Pick asked out of the blue. Mark looked at him in surprise. "I think you'd be a great father.""You know, Pick..." Mark sighed. "I've never found a suitable girl." John bit his lower lip hard."That's true." The drummer murmured. "But now you have Flora and John." Mark nodded silently and looked at the floor. The bassist chewed tensely on his lower lip. "But still." Pick began again. "A child with your eyes would be incredibly cute, Mark." Mark let out a loud sigh."Pick...please stop." He murmured."Why? You have pretty eyes." Pick replied. "And I bet a baby with your eyes would look incredibly wholesome.""Well." Mark stood up and gently set Flora down on the chair he had been sitting on. "Nobody was ever interested in me." John felt his heart skip a beat. He heard his own voice from a few days ago, saying exactly that sentence. "I'll have a smoke." Mark muttered and left the recording studio. When the door closed behind him, Pick looked at the bassist in astonishment."What the hell is going on? Did you have an argument or something?" John sighed deeply and nodded thoughtfully."Unfortunately, yes. But I'm afraid it was my fault.""What did you do?" Pick asked, confused."Well, we... Flora talked about sex education." John bit his lower lip and told the whole story. While Pick listened, Flora was too busy enjoying the pizza, which is why she didn't listen."You said that to him!?" Pick exclaimed indignantly. John sighed resignedly."I guess so, yeah.""What the hell's gotten into you!?" The drummer screamed in horror. "Do you have any idea what he's been through in his life!?""No! I don't! Because nobody's telling me what the hell's going on! You won't tell me, one of his mates won't tell me, and neither will he! Am I supposed to smell it or what!? How the hell am I supposed to know what's going on!?" Pick stood up and angrily dragged the taller man to his feet. He glared up at John, since he was much shorter."You go out there and fix this shit now." He growled angrily, pointing to the door of the studio."What the hell am I supposed to say?" John grumbled."I don't care, but you go out there and apologize to him, damn it! I'm not going to visit him in the hospital again because he tried to commit suicide!" John's eyes widened and his breath caught."What..." He whispered in shock."You heard me very well, John Illsley!" Pick shouted angrily. "Go out and apologize to him!" John sighed quietly and nodded."I guess you're right." With these words, he shuffled to the door with a heavy heart, out of the recording studio. He found Mark sitting on the entrance steps. He held a cigarette between his fingers and took a drag before blowing the smoke out of his lungs. John sat down on the cold marble stone next to him with a sigh. Without saying a word, Mark handed him a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. John took both and lit a cigarette for himself. They both sat silently next to each other, smoking and looking out into the darkness. It wasn't completely dark, as the street lights were on."Mark?" John asked after a while of silence."Mh?" The younger man grumbled before taking another drag on his cigarette, causing it to glow orange."I'm sorry." John sighed and let out a breath. "I didn't mean to hurt you with my words. I... I still don't know why you're having nightmares and what the hell happened to you, but... obviously I hurt you with my words. And I'm sorry for that. I... I love you and I don't want our relationship to end because of that stupid argument. In the end, you were right. Flora should know something about sex education. The younger she is, the better. She's just...she's my baby, you know? The last eight years have gone by so damn fast and I still somehow can't believe she's grown up so much." Mark sat there in silence, stubbing out his cigarette on the marble step. John turned his head and finally dared to look at the smaller man. "I...I'm just sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. You've been hurt and disappointed so many times in your life and...I'm really sorry that I hurt and disappointed you too. You didn't deserve that in any way. You’re a unique person. I'm sorry." Mark let out a sigh and reached for John's hand. He laced their fingers together and then looked silently out into the dark street. John looked down at their joined hands and smiled weakly.Mark said nothing. Not a single word. He didn't have to. John knew what he wanted to tell him. It was okay. He loved him. And it would stay that way for a long time.