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"So, let's talk about your father."
It was rare for Dean to admit, but he and Sam's plan, this time, was absolutely stupid. Why did they have to become patients in a mental hospital in order to find the monster? They'd usually put on their cheap suits and pocket the fake I.D.s, but noooo, apparently this time, as Sam claimed, they'd be able to sus out the murderer best from inside the hospital. That and reunite with their old family friend who'd called them about the case to start with. So they checked themselves in, chosen the aliases Eddie and Alex and began their magical undercover adventure.The issue was that it came in a double package with therapy.Dean had made it clear before that he didn't believe in psychology of any kind. He was content to live his weird life and manage his problems with bullets, booze and more booze.However, this specific case had other ideas for him and before he knew what was happening: Doctor Erica Cartwright, his assigned shrink, was sat across from him on the small table. Dean had nowhere to run. They exchanged questions, factual on her end, investigative on his. Once finished with that she seemed to not yet be done - moving onto possibly Dean's most touchy subject."...What's he got to do with anything?" he answered at last, tilting onto the back legs of the plastic chair. It was connected so no pieces could be torn off and used to hurt a patient, but Dean reckoned he'd get a better shot by lugging the whole chair at someone... Which is besides the point."Very often an individual's upbringing sets them on course for their whole life. So could you tell me how close the two of you were?" Dr Cartwright tilted her head, hands folded neatly on top of her clipboard."We were a normal level of close... It was trusting," said Dean, bemused."I'm assuming you looked up to him? The trust must have been validating," her tone showed genuine interest. She'd only known Dean for a little while but he was already her most interesting patient so far. He was intelligent but chose not to be. And, like a landmine, she had to tread carefully or he'd shout and storm away in reaction to a bad question. So she rephrased herself, taking away the question mark, "You idolized him.""That's what Sa- uhm, Alex says, yeah." (nothing was going to get in the way of Dean using rockstar aliases.)"And what do you say? Did you love him?""...I did.""Did. Was there a shift in your relationship or has he passed away?" even if her tone was blunt her eyes were kind. Although Dean's insecure mind made everything she said feel like mockery.He sighed nonchalantly, dropping the eye contact, "Dead.""I see. I'm very sorry for your loss... Your mother?""Dead too, died when I was six.""I'm sorry for your losses, Eddie." She gave a pitying smile, "So would you say that your extreme codependency with your brother stemmed from having very little else?"He rolled his eyes, "Okay, why does everyone say that about me and Sam? We're not that codependent. Most people would die for the people they love, we ain't special."It was Dr Cartwright's turn to raise an eyebrow, "You'd be surprised at siblings these days. You and Alex care for each other very much, which is completely allowed, but he seems to only act under your orders and you... you quite literally struggle whilst in two separate rooms - like now, for instance, you've glanced at the door five times since I brought him up."Internally Cartwright thought this was cute, Dean was almost mirroring a puppy waiting for it's owner to get home.Nevertheless, her cockiness was getting on Dean's nerves, "He's my little brother, it's not illegal.""I never said that," she corrected softly, tapping her nails rhythmically on the clipboard, "You have to understand, Eddie, that children who lost a parents at an early age - especially the eldest siblings - they... They can be the ones who hold the family together. They can take on the role of father, mother, whatever they need to be. I am just wondering if your father ever acted like Sam's father too."He furrowed his eyebrows, "What the hell are you on about?" Dean was struggling to keep up his annoyed (but lighthearted) smirk; it was like the doctor was trying to hit him where it hurt. What did he ever do to her!?She meant well, he had to keep reminding himself. So eventually he replied nicer: "I mean, yeah, I more or less raised him.""That can't of been easy."Their words were slow and quiet now. Each line had paused in between. "Not really, no. But... but I didn't mind. My job is to protect him.""Which was assigned to you by your father?"Dean shrugged slightly as he ran his fingers up and down the grooves on the table edge.Cartwright continued, "That's unfair, don't you think?""He was... busy. He worked a lot." Dean muttered. He would defend Dad to the end."Will you admit that it's still not fair?""...I s'pose. But Sammy's my- I-I mean, Alex is my responsibility, we're the only things each other have and i will hold onto him as long as I can."Cartwright took note of Dean's shaking knee, "You want to know he's safe. Right now are you worried he's being hurt by the monsters?"Dean knew she didn't believe in the monsters, but she was willing to act like they were real for psychological purposes and it was kind of... sweet."He's a big boy, he can protect himself against them," he commented"You both fight them, I see. Together?""Always."He gave a hard nod and she smiled and lightly nodded in response. "Thank you for answering my questions, Eddie, you can go and meet up with him. The group therapy finishes in a few minutes."
As Dean left he could sense he'd said too much, spilled a little too much of his soul out that he'd long since sworn he'd keep hidden.He was trying to focus on reuniting with Sam, which obviously brightened his mood but didn't stop him from shuffling through the corridor like a sad puppy. Hands in pockets. Head down. Until he bumped back into Sam again and his whole world was a little better again.Maybe it was separation anxiety, maybe a terrifying level of codependency - but it worked for them and Dean wouldn't change it for a second.
"Are you okay?""I just got thraped. So no."