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Shane wakes up in Ryan’s bed, pressed up close to him on the tiny, uncomfortable twin sized mattress, and thinks ‘not again’.
Shane does not intentionally keep hooking up with Ryan, but in this third encounter, he thinks the universe might be pushing him into it. Shane has always been a skeptic, a man of science, but he’s been a circus tamer, a marine biologist and, last time, notably, a werewolf, and every time it ends the same. Meeting Ryan. Infatuation with Ryan. Sleeping with Ryan. Ryan falling in love with him, and before he can begin to process it, poof. Like waking from a dream, he opens his eyes to his new life, borrowed memories in his head. He somehow knows how to tame elephants. He both understands and can write scientific reports on sealife. He can identify other werewolf types by whiffing their pheromones.
Here, he’s a junior at Chapman University, studying history. Despite the fact that he studied video editing at Columbia Chicago, he somehow knows where coffee shops are, and who David McCullough is, and where fraternity row is. He stumbled into a Beta Theta Pi party like something was calling him, and came face to face once again with Ryan Bergara.
Ryan, who looks younger here, less tired but also less experienced, who took one look at Shane, who looks equally young and inexperienced, and took a liking to him. Who studies with Shane in the library, and eats lunch with him in the student center, and who kept inviting Shane to the frat house even though Shane knew it was a bad idea.
Shane scrubs his head as the pounding at the door that had awoken him continues. He’s thankful that Ryan seems to be a deep sleeper in every universe, and also a little disappointed in himself that he knows that, as he gets up to open the door while Ryan sleeps peacefully behind him.
Shane knows who it’s going to be before he even opens the door. The universe tends to recycle people, and this time Andrew Ilnycky is his roommate, who looks disappointed to see him. “I cannot believe you’re here,” Andrew hisses to him.
Shane hasn’t told Andrew what’s happening. He tried that when Andrew was his co-worker at the marine biology lab, and counted himself lucky that the island they were on didn’t have any adequate mental health facilities for Andrew to lock him up in. Andrew is the most grounded of anyone Shane has met in these scenarios, which is comforting, though perhaps less than helpful, given his current predicament. “I know,” Shane says. He grabs a pair of sweatpants off the floor (they’re much too short on him - likely Ryan’s) and pulls on his sneakers as he follows Andrew out the door and out of the house, joining the flurry of other students. “How did you even know I was here?”
“Curly’s in my 8AM,” Andrew tells him.
Great.
Curly’s a chronic gossiper in real life and in these situations. If he knows Shane and Ryan slept together, it’ll be on the lips of every frat guy by noon. Or whenever they wake up. “You told me you weren’t gonna sleep with him.”
That’s true. Shane didn’t tell him why, but the morning after the first Beta Theta Pi party, Shane pointed at Andrew’s face when he returned from his classes and said: “do not let me sleep with Ryan Bergara.” Apparently Andrew both takes his duties very seriously and is horrible at fulfilling them.
Listen, it’s not that Shane doesn’t want to sleep with Ryan. Ryan is the best part of all these adventures. He’s gorgeous, and he’s funny, and he understands Shane. His presence calls out to Shane like a beacon in the night, and he’s powerless to ignore it. It’s just that every time Shane sleeps with Ryan, he knows it’s the beginning of the end. He’d like to stay in one of these scenarios long enough to figure out what the fuck is going on and how to stop it.
“I’m an idiot,” he tells Andrew, genuinely. Andrew scoffs as if to say ‘what else is new?’
Like a whirlwind, Steven skips from somewhere behind Shane to Andrew’s side, wrapping an arm around Andrew’s waist. Another recurring theme of these dreams is that Andrew and Steven keep gravitating to each other, for some reason, and that Steven’s hair is always another bright, artificial color. In this universe, where he and Steven go to the same college and Steven’s dating Shane’s roommate, it’s silver.
“So guess what I heard?” Steven asks after a quick hello kiss to Andrew’s cheek. He easily falls in line with the pair of them as he and Andrew accompany Shane on what must be the most social walk of shame to ever have occurred.
Shane has a pretty good guess about what Steven heard. “What’s that?” he asks anyway.
“That you and Ryan kissed at the Beta Theta Pi party last night!” Steven says. He sounds excited, and Shane imagines he’d likely be hopping if they were standing still. His enthusiasm, though entirely misplaced, is nice.
Andrew rolls his eyes. “Oh, they more than kissed.”
Steven gasps. “Really?” he asks Shane.
“What can I say?” Shane asks. “I make poor decisions.”
Shane lets them into his and Andrew’s building as Steven and Andrew walk behind him, arms linked. “I don’t think it’s a poor decision,” Steven says in the elevator up to Shane and Andrew’s floor. Shane doesn’t even know how he knows which room is his, but it’s like something guides him to room 303. “You and Ryan seem to really like each other.”
“Yeah,” Andrew says, slowly, like he’s recognizing something for the first time. “You never did tell me why I should keep you away from Ryan.”
Shane unlocks the apartment and lets Steven and Andrew in. “It’s complicated,” he tells Andrew. Complicated is the understatement of the fucking century, but he knows the college has pretty good mental health facilities and he doesn’t feel like talking to a shrink about this today. “I have some stuff I need to figure out first.”
Steven frowns. He takes a seat at the kitchen island and Andrew stands behind him. “What stuff? Did you not know you were gay?”
Shane scoffs. “I’m bisexual, first of all.” He puts his keys down on the island and begins loading the dishwasher just for something to do with his hands. “Like I said, it’s complicated.” When he turns, Steven is still frowning, so he adds, “when I figure it out, I’ll let you know.” He’s pretty sure he’s gonna be out of here soon, so it’s a promise he isn’t likely to keep nor break.
Suddenly, someone knocks at the door. Shane, Steven, and Andrew all freeze. Shane turns slowly to face Steven and Andrew, Andrew’s arms around Steven’s shoulders. They all know who’s outside. “Are you gonna get that?” Andrew asks, cautiously.
Shane sighs. Trying to avoid Ryan in every life is futile. This ending piece is inevitable. “I suppose,” he says.
Shane answers the door and, unsurprisingly, Ryan is standing behind it. He beams wide when he sees Shane, his smile blinding, and Shane almost has to look away to bear it. “Hey,” Ryan says. He looks over Shane’s shoulder and smiles something slightly less dazzling at Andrew and Steven. “Hey Andrew. Hey Steven. ‘Sup?”
Shane turns just in time to see Andrew and Steven give each other a loaded look, communicating with their eyes. Shane really hates that they seem to be able to do that in every universe. For once, he’d like Steven and Andrew to verbalize just how fucked he is.
“Hey, Ryan,” Andrew says when their gazes part. “Steven and I were just going to my bedroom.”
“Cool,” Shane grits through his teeth, hoping to convey just how uncool that is.
“Cool!” Ryan repeats. If he’s aware that Shane’s on edge, he doesn’t show it. Shane watches Ryan’s face as the footsteps behind him disappear until he hears the click of Andrew’s bedroom door close. Ryan’s eyes meet Shane’s, and Shane looks deep into gorgeous, big brown eyes for the first time since last night, and feels the first tendrils of reality loosen their grip on him. “Can we go for a walk?” Ryan asks.
Shane follows Ryan down the elevator and outside. They walk side-by-side along the pavement, Ryan’s shoulders bumping Shane’s arm just often enough that Shane doesn’t know if it’s a coincidence or if Ryan’s doing it on purpose. “So,” Ryan says. “Last night-”
“Yeah,” Shane cuts him off. “Last night.”
Ryan turns to look up into Shane’s face and sighs. He takes Shane’s wrist, pulling him over behind a tree on the quad, where few students are gathered in the late morning. “Listen, man,” Ryan says. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I just have to say something.”
“You don’t,” Shane nearly begs. “You really do not have to say anything.”
Still, he looks at Ryan’s face, all wide and open and earnest. His skin looks beautiful in the mid-morning light, the sunlight dancing across his cheekbones like whatever higher power is out there made the concept of sunlight just for him. Behind him, the students begin to blur together like water activated paints in a rainstorm. “I do,” Ryan says. “Listen, I know it hasn’t been long, and maybe you think I’m crazy, but it felt like fate put us together at that party, man. It’s so weird, when I saw you, it was like I had seen you before. And last night.” Ryan’s cheeks burn a deep red as he lowers his voice, “dude, last night was the craziest first time sex I’ve ever had with someone.”
Behind Ryan, the trees begin to sway unnaturally. Shane wants to say something to alert Ryan, but he’s frozen to the spot. “I know,” he says instead.
Ryan laughs softly. He reaches forward and tangles their fingers together. Shane feels something like electricity shoot through his veins at Ryan’s touch. “I know it’s crazy, man, but I-”
“Don’t,” Shane interrupts. “Please don’t.”
But it’s too late. Everything behind Ryan slowly starts to melt together, and Shane feels unsteady on his feet, clinging to Ryan’s hand like a lifeline. Ryan smiles brightly, and says, “I love you.”
Ryan’s hand falls through Shane’s fingers as the world pitches up around him, and suddenly, blackness.