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Elliot and Olivia were sitting at their desks, stealing glances at each other. He then broke the silence with a soft offer.

"Uh, you want me to drive you home?" he asked gently.

Olivia nodded silently before answering. “Yeah, El, that would be great.”

After they got their things and headed out of the precinct, they drove back to Olivia’s apartment in silence.

When they arrived at her place, Olivia asked, "Uh, you want me to come up for a nightcap?”

Elliot nodded, the events of the day having taken a toll on him. "Yeah, that could be just what we need."

She set her purse down on the counter before making her way over to the fridge. Looking inside, she found what she was looking for.

Olivia took out two beers and sat on her couch beside Elliot, their knees almost touching.

Elliot took a swig of his beer before saying, "I can't believe I killed a child."

She took a sip of her own beer before answering.

"It's not your fault, Elliot," she replied softly, her voice filled with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "You didn't have a choice. She could’ve killed us all."

"But she was still a child," he whispered, the words heavy with the weight of guilt. "An innocent life cut short."

“Elliot-”

"I know," he said quietly, his voice filled with regret. "But it doesn't make it any easier to bear, you know? It's just..."

His voice trailed off, the words stuck in his throat.

Olivia reached out a hand, placing it gently on Elliot's arm.

"I understand," she responded. "It doesn't make it any less awful, but you did what you had to do."

"I just wish it hadn't come to this," he mumbled.

"Me too," Olivia echoed, her voice a soft whisper in the relative quiet of her apartment before sipping at her drink. Her eyes then met Elliot's gaze,  "But Elliot…” A brief pause before she continued. “I would've taken that shot to protect you, to protect everyone in there. It was the only way."

"What if I lost you, Liv? What if she shot you?” Elliot’s voice started to tremble. "It would've ruined me.”

She placed her hands gently on his cheeks, her touch firm yet tender. Her eyes bore into his own, holding his gaze as she spoke with fierce conviction.

"Elliot, I'm here. I'm alive. You feel me touching this, don't you? I'm right here. Nothing happened to me."

He leaned in, his lips moving toward hers.

"Liv..." he whispered.

He wasn’t sure if the courage he was feeling to kiss Olivia was from the alcohol or the guilt he felt.

"Elliot-" Olivia said, before being cut off by Elliot’s lips touching hers.

At first, the touch was gentle and tender, carrying the weight of all the unspoken emotions that had built up over the course of the evening.

But now, Elliot had deepened the kiss, his hand now moving to gently cradle Olivia's face.

His lips moved against hers with a hunger and need, his tongue gently seeking entrance, the taste of beer lingering on their tongues.

Olivia knew that it was wrong to be doing this, but the rational part of her brain seemed to shut off at that moment, and she wanted him to keep going.

She wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck, her fingers tangling in his hair, their tongues battling for dominance.

Elliot felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins as he explored every inch of her mouth with his own.

His hands roamed over her back, feeling the softness of her skin under his fingertips.

He pulled her closer, pressing her chest against his, feeling her nipples harden against the fabric of her shirt.

Meanwhile, Olivia found herself getting more and more aroused by the touch of Elliot's hands on her body, and she moaned softly into his mouth.

Elliot pulled away and began to plant soft kisses on Olivia’s neck.

His teeth grazed over the soft flesh of her earlobe before he gently bit down on it, causing a sharp intake of breath to escape from her.

He continued to kiss her neck, his lips setting her skin ablaze with desire.

Elliot’s voice was husky as he whispered, “I want you, Detective.”

His mouth continued its path with a trail of tender bites and sucking kisses.

“Take me to bed, Elliot," Olivia moaned out softly.

He stood up and held out his hand to her, which Olivia took, leading them to her bedroom.

He pushed her against the wall, their bodies flushing against each other. His mouth found her neck once more, his lips leaving a trail of hot kisses down her throat.

Olivia's fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer.

Elliot reluctantly tore his lips from her neck and claimed her mouth again in a heated kiss.

His fingers found the bottom of Olivia's shirt, slowly pulling it over her head.

He moved to her chest, his fingers gently tracing the lace trim of her bra.

“You’re beautiful,” Elliot said as leaned in, his lips finding the exposed flesh of her chest, trailing kisses along the line of her cleavage.

Elliot continued with his teasing kisses, his lips traveling up towards her collarbone, then her jawline, before finally finding their way to her mouth once more.

He found the clasp of her bra, and with an expert flick of his fingers, it came undone, falling away to reveal her bare chest.

“So beautiful,” he said as his mouth trailed lower, his tongue teasing her nipples into hard peaks. Olivia let out a soft moan, arching her back to push herself further into his touch.

Elliot’s hands slipped lower, tracing the waistband of her jeans, and dipping his fingers inside to find the edge of her panties.

His fingers danced across the thin fabric, teasing her, before slipping beneath to feel her warm, wet pussy.

A low growl escaped Elliot’s lips as he felt how ready she already was for him.

“Fuck,”  he muttered under his breath, his fingers sliding through her slick folds, coating themselves with her arousal.

Olivia gasped at the feeling, her hips bucking.

He dropped to his knees in front of her, his eyes locked onto hers. As he pulled down her jeans and underwear, Olivia stepped out of them.

She was now naked in front of him, and he drank in the sight of her, sending a rush of blood south.

His hands gripped her thighs, spreading them wide as he leaned forward.

Elliot buried his face between Olivia's legs, his tongue darting out to taste her sweetness.

He licked her slowly, starting from her entrance, and then working his way up to her clit.

Her hands soon found his hair, gripping tightly as she guided his mouth exactly where she wanted it, and he seemed to know exactly what she needed.

“Oh fuck, Elliot,” she breathed out, her mind unable to focus on anything else at that moment. She tightened her grip on his hair as his tongue continued to swirl around her clit.

His fingers entered her, pumping in and out, and once he felt her walls start to flutter around him, he knew she was close.

“Cum for me, Detective.”

He increased the pressure on her clit, sucking it into his mouth as he drove his fingers deeper.

“Elliot…c-close,” Olivia panted, knowing that she wouldn’t last much longer.

With a loud cry, Olivia came, her orgasm crashing over her.

Her juices soon coated Elliot's lips and fingers, and he kept going, riding out her climax until she slumped against the wall, panting heavily.

A bit of sweat had dripped off her forehead as she looked down at her partner, his eyes dark with desire.

“Delicious,” he purred, licking his lips clean.

He then claimed her mouth with his, for Olivia to taste herself on him.

“I want you now, Elliot,” Olivia said, moaning into his mouth.

He slowly backed her onto the bed, laying her down gently, his gaze roaming over her flushed face.

Elliot reached for his own clothes, discarding them quickly.

His erect cock was soon free from its confines, throbbing with need.

Her eyes drifted down and saw his length, a bit of pre-come leaking from the tip.

In response, she licked her lips and felt herself getting even more turned on at the thought of him inside her.

Elliot grasped Olivia's hips, pulling her close as he positioned himself at her entrance.

With a deep growl, he thrust forward, burying himself inside her.

Olivia gasped, her back arching as she felt him stretch her open, filling her completely.

Elliot began to move, setting a fast pace as he pounded into her, each powerful stroke causing Olivia to see stars.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, locking her ankles behind his back to pull him deeper. Olivia met his thrusts eagerly, her hips rising to meet his downward strokes.

Elliot caught her lips with his own, kissing her deeply as they made love, with moans escaping both of their mouths.

Elliot's groans were low with desire, while Olivia's were high-pitched whimpers of delight.

Breaking their kiss, but keeping their faces mere inches apart, they stared into each other's eyes, brown on blue.

Nothing existed but the two of them at this moment.

Elliot placed a hand on Olivia's clit, applying gentle, teasing motions.

She shuddered under his motions, feeling herself getting close to the edge.

“Come for me, Liv,” Elliot groaned, her walls tightly clenching around him.

“I'm close,” she gasped out, her eyes fluttering shut as she focused on the pleasure. “So close.”

Elliot increased his pace, pounding into her.

“Look at me when you cum,” he said, his voice a low, husky growl.

Olivia nodded, her breath coming in ragged gasps.

She felt herself teetering on the edge, ready to tumble over into ecstasy.

At Elliot's command, Olivia forced her eyelids open, meeting his blue eyes once more.

The sight of her breasts bouncing with each of his movements drove him wild.

“Beautiful,” he murmured against her skin. “So fucking beautiful.”

With a final, brutal thrust, Elliot pushed her over the edge.

Olivia screamed in pleasure as her pussy clenched around him.

She kept her eyes locked on his, drinking in the sight of his rugged features twisted in pleasure.

Elliot soon spilled himself inside Olivia, his hot seed filling her, coating her insides.

He held still for a moment, buried to the hilt within her, before slowly pulling out. His cock soon slipped from her slick folds.

Olivia lay there, spent and satisfied, her chest rising and falling with each breath.

She felt utterly drained, yet incredibly fulfilled.

They laid in silence for several minutes, recovering from their intense lovemaking session.

Elliot reached out, pulling Olivia close so that they could snuggle under the covers.

Slowly and tenderly, Elliot traced his fingertips along Olivia's curves, mapping every inch of her body with gentle caresses.

“Elliot, are we okay? We've crossed some lines today,” she said.

“Yes, we did, but right now…” Elliot trailed off, leaning in closer until their noses brushed lightly against each other's. “Right now, let's just enjoy this moment.”

Olivia nodded, understanding the unspoken message behind Elliot’s words.

He leaned down, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.

It was different from their ones earlier, this time much slower and softer.

As their lips parted again, Elliot looked deep into Olivia's eyes.

There was no need for words; they understood each other perfectly.

This wasn't just sex anymore.

This was something much deeper.

“Get some sleep, Liv,” Elliot whispered, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face.

He tucked her in closer against his side, wrapping his arms protectively around her.

A few moments later, he heard soft sounds coming from Olivia.

Elliot's breathing slowed, his body relaxed as he fell into a deep sleep.

But the peace of his slumber was abruptly interrupted by a sudden flashback. Images and sounds assaulted his mind, the memory of him shooting Jenna.
 
***

“How long until they idiots go to the central booking?” Olivia asked.

“Not soon enough,” Elliot smirked.

Jenna then came into the precinct and started shooting

.

“Jenna, stop! Jenna! Jenna!” Olivia yelled, but it didn't deter her.

The teenager fired, killing Sister Peg.

“Jenna! Jenna, drop the gun!” Elliot said, pulling out his gun and aiming it at her. “Drop the gun! Enough! Put the gun down, that's it, put it down.”

“You crazy bitch. I should’ve killed you with your mother,” Skinner replied.

She then pointed her gun to him, preparing to fire off another shot.

“Jenna!” Elliot yelled once more, before shooting a bullet into her.

He kicked the gun away and cradled the back of her head, looking at the bullet wound, covering it with his hand.

“I just…I just bought it off the street. It was easy,” Jenna said before bleeding out and dying of her injuries.

Olivia's hand came away from Sister Peg, and she met Elliot's gaze.

There was a silent understanding between them - a shared disbelief and horror at what had just happened.

They stood in a moment of stunned silence, the gravity of the situation settling heavily upon them.

***
 
Elliot's heart ached heavily as he looked down at Olivia, still asleep.

The guilt of what happened with Jenna, and now the pang of him cheating on Kathy weighed heavily on his conscience.

With a silent exhale, Elliot quietly got up from the bed, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on.

He lingered in the doorway for a moment, looking back at Olivia one last time before silently slipping out the door.

…

“Elliot, please talk to me. I just took a pregnancy test and it came back positive. I haven’t slept with anyone else since the night we were together, so this baby is ours. Please call me back, I’m begging you.”

Beep.

Elliot looked up at the masked figure holding his phone, their thumb hitting the ‘delete’ button.

“Too bad you won’t be there,” they said, a menacing laugh escaping their lips.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

As Elliot stepped inside his house, he's surprised to see Kathy coming down the steps, especially at this time of the night.Kathy said to him, "Elliot, where have you been? I've been trying to call. It's three in the morning. I've been worried sick!” Elliot averted his gaze, unable to meet Kathy's eyes, and shifted uncomfortably."I...I'm sorry, Kathy," he muttered. "I didn't mean to worry you. I wasn't paying attention to my phone. I…I had a horrible day.” Kathy's suspicion turned into anger as she looked at Elliot."You were with her, weren't you?" she accused, her voice rising. "You were with Olivia. I can tell!”Elliot's voice started to become shaky as he spoke. "Yes, okay, yes, I was with Olivia. I did something terrible. I…I killed a kid, Kathy!” he said, tearing up. Kathy then hugged him tightly. “Elliot, I’m here. Tell me what happened.”“A girl named Jenna came in with a gun and ended up killing two people. She was about to shoot again, so I sh-shot her, and she…she died…she had a whole life to live, and I shortened it!” Elliot said, crying. "Elliot, look at me," Kathy said, lifting his chin gently to meet her gaze. “You did what you had to do. This isn’t your fault. I’m going to call Captain Cragen. You’re taking the week off work, no arguments. You need some time to process this and come to terms with what happened." Elliot nods weekly before leaning into Kathy's embrace. "Okay," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kathy."  Olivia stirred awake, groaning softly before sitting up in bed. The events of the previous night slowly came back to her. She was alone in the bed, the space beside her cold and empty. Olivia called out Elliot's name, but there was no response, no sign of him in the room.With a sigh, she picked up her phone and dials his number, pressing it to her ear as she waits for him to pick up.She was met with silence.The phone rang a few times, but he didn't pick up. A wave of disappointment and worry washed over her.She tried again, hoping he might answer, but once again, his phone went to voicemail.The weekend passed slowly for Olivia, each day stretching onward with no word from Elliot.The silence was deafening, finding that her thoughts were constantly returning to him, wondering where he was, what he was doing, and why he hadn't called her back.Olivia walked into the precinct on Monday morning, but as her eyes darted across to Elliot's desk, she didn't see him anywhere.Her heart sank, realizing that he wasn't there. She wondered where he might be and why he wasn’t at work.Captain Cragen called out to Olivia."Liv.” He signaled for her to come to his office.“Nice working with you,” Munch said with a smirk.Olivia glared at Munch before walking into Cragen’s office.“Can you shut the door, please?” he said, to which Olivia complied.He let out a heavy breath.“Elliot put his papers in. There was nothing I could do," Cragen continued, not breaking eye contact with Olivia.Her eyes widened in shock and disbelief.She let out a gasp, the news hitting her like a ton of bricks.“He’s earned it.”“Do you want to talk?” Cragen asked. “No,” Olivia said, shaking her head.“Do you want to take a day?”“No, I’m fine.” She glanced around the room, saying nothing else.“Liv…I’m sorry.” Cragen put his hands in his pockets.Olivia gave him a nod before walking out towards her desk.“You okay?” Fin asked, looking at her.“Yeah,” Olivia said, on the brink of tears.“We’ve got a 1034 on Waverly,” Munch said, getting up from his desk, seeing Olivia let out a  heavy breath. “Fin, take Rollins.”“No, I’ll go. Give me five and we’ll roll,” Olivia replied, walking to an empty interrogation room, where she started to break down in tears.Fin and Munch watched as Olivia walked off. Munch looks over at the other man, his face etched with worry. "I wonder what Cragen said to her.”Fin let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. "I don't know, but whatever it was, it hit her pretty hard.” Munch frowned before suggesting, "Maybe we should check on her later, once she's had some time to collect herself.”"Yeah, you're right," Fin said. "But not yet. Let her have her moment. I've never seen her like this."  As Olivia reemerged, her eyes were red and puffy, and she was desperately trying to act normal. Fin moved closer, noticing the signs of her crying."Liv," he said delicately, his voice tender. "Are you ready to go?”“Yeah, Fin, let’s go,” Olivia replied as they made their way to the squad car. He stole a glance at her, noticing the tension."You sure you're up for this?" he asked.Olivia looked at him, her eyes steely. "I'm fine," she said.Fin kept his eyes on the road as they drove.“Look, Liv, I know you said you’re fine, but I can’t stop thinking about it. What did Cragen say to you back there?” he asked. “Fin, I said I'm fine,” Olivia replied, not really wanting to discuss it. “Liv, you’re like a sister to me. Don’t give me that bullshit; you can talk to me about what's going on,” Fin continued. Olivia let out a heavy sigh. She was quiet for a moment, gathering her thoughts."Cragen told me Elliot turned in his papers. He's officially retired," Olivia said, as a tear fell down her cheek. Fin's grip on the wheel tightened."Jesus. He really went through with it, huh? Just like that?" he replied angrily."It doesn't make sense," Olivia responded, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Why didn't he say anything to me? I thought...I thought we were..." She ended up trailing off, not knowing what else to say.Fin glanced over at her, noticing the look of utter frustration on her face."Hey, you know how Elliot is," Fin said. "That man keeps things close to his chest. I'm sure he had his reasons. Just give him some time, Liv."  As Eli playfully ran around the living room, Elliot was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.Kathy snuck up behind her husband, wrapping her arms around his waist. She rested her head on his shoulder and spoke softly into his ear."You know, I love having you around more often. And I know you quit the force so you could spend more time with us."Elliot turned off the stove and then turned around, facing his wife. "Kathy," he said firmly. "That's not why I left."She gazed at him, moving closer and resting her hands on his chest. “I know, I know. I told you it was either me and the kids, or Olivia and the job, but don't worry, we are moving to Rome!”Elliot looked at her, his eyebrows rising. “Ro-Rome?”"Elliot, I'm sure. You need a change, and Rome is as good a place as any. This can be very good for you and help you deal with what’s going on. I mean, you do want to be a good husband and a good father, right?" Kathy said, smiling.Elliot took a step back, exhaling deeply, feeling the guilt from cheating on his wife to killing an innocent teenager. "You're right. I need to get away from all of it - the job, the city, everything. Of course, I want to be a good husband and father,” he replied.Kathy's face lit up with excitement as she squealed, "The flight's in three weeks. Oh, Elliot, I can't wait! Rome is going to be amazing!"Elliot was surprised, yet amused by Kathy's enthusiasm."You already bought tickets?" he asked.His wife nodded, grinning from ear to ear. "Yep. I love you, Elliot, and this will be good for you. No, Olivia, a fresh new job, it’s going to be perfect.” "Is this why you’re doing this? That I'm doing all this just because of Olivia? You have no idea what's been running through my head, Kathy! It’s bad enough that I cut off all contact with her since you’ve asked me to be a better father and husband for this family! I need to take a walk,” Elliot said, turning around and heading out of the house. Kathy watched him go, and he took a few deep breaths, upset that his wife had already bought plane tickets for them to move to another country, without having even talked to him about it first. Elliot walked down the street, his footsteps heavy with anger, and he ran a hand through his hair, trying to make sense of everything.As he walked, lost in thought, Elliot was suddenly interrupted by a voice."Well, well, if it isn't Elliot Stabler." The voice echoed through the now-dark alley he’s been walking down.Before Elliot could respond, everything went black.  
...

The positive pregnancy test stared back at her, and Olivia was left in disbelief.

She’d been feeling off for a few weeks, but this had been the last thing she’d expected.

Picking up her phone, she dialed Elliot’s number and got his voicemail, which she’d come to expect.

She hoped that perhaps this time, he would answer and reach out to her.

But as the hours passed, not hearing anything, she knew that he wouldn’t call back.

Looking down at her still-flat stomach, she placed a hand on it.

It’s going to be just you and me now, little bean, she said to herself.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Frustration - and a few tears - welled up in Elliot as he watched the figure delete the message.

He couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt and regret, knowing that Olivia was trying to reach him, pregnant with his child, and he wasn’t able to answer her call.

She was going to see this as him ignoring her, and he had a fleeting thought that she might not forgive him for this.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, his voice strained.

The rope around his wrists was tight, and he wondered if this would lead to the circulation being cut off.

"Why? Because I enjoy watching you suffer. You thought you could escape your past, but I won't let you forget so easily,” the figure said, smiling as they spoke.

Elliot's jaw clenched tightly, and his eyes burned with anger as he continued to talk.

“What are you talking about!?” he yelled.

"You know exactly what I’m talking about. Your little girlfriend's been trying to get in touch with you, has she? It's so sweet how she reached out, but unfortunately, you won't be able to answer her."

The masked figure put Elliot’s phone down on the ground before stepping on it and seeing it crumble into pieces.

"Let me go," he demanded. “I won’t say anything.”

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? But it's not going to happen. You're going to stay right here, with me, until I say otherwise." The masked figure crossed their arms before speaking again. "You're stuck here, and there's nothing you can do about it.” Their voice was filled with malevolent glee. "And as for Olivia, well, she's going to have to learn to live without you. She'll raise the kid alone, a tragic situation, don't you think?"

"You can't do this," he protested. "You have no right, you fucking bastard.”

“You're powerless here, and you're going to suffer knowing that Olivia is alone and pregnant. It's your worst nightmare come to life, right? And there's not a damn thing you can do about it."

"Shut up!" Elliot snapped. "You don't know anything about me!"

"Yeah, I know all about your little secret, Stabler. You're a family man, devoted to your faith and your wife, right? But you couldn't keep it in your pants, could you? And now your little mistake is growing in her womb while you're stuck here, unable to do a damn thing about it.” The masked figure then laughed, and the anger within Elliot finally boiled over, and he let out a furious yell.

"What the hell did I do to you? You say you know me, that you know what I've done, but who the hell are you? How do you know all this? And what do you want from me?!”

"Well, I’ve been following you for months. You’ve been too stupid to notice. You destroyed my family, and now it's my turn to destroy yours. But first, it’s time to have a little fun.”

The figure rolled his sleeve to just above his elbow, and then inspected his arm, seemingly searching for a vein.

Elliot was confused when the figure stepped away for a moment and then came back with a spoon, syringe, and a lighter.

Turning it on, the figure heated up the spoon - which had a brownish colored substance on it - and then they loaded up the contents into the syringe.

“Get away from me!” Elliot yelled, but he couldn’t do much, since he was still restrained.

“Just relax,” the figure said. “I promise, everything’s going to be alright. You’ll be feeling better in no time.”

They stabbed the syringe into his arm, injecting the contents directly into his bloodstream, and within a minute, Elliot appeared relaxed and strung out.
  
Olivia walked into the precinct the next morning, slightly shaking. She was still trying to handle the fact that she was pregnant with

Elliot’s

baby.

Alex approached Olivia, a stack of files in her hand.

“Hey Liv, are you free to stand trial later?” the blonde asked.

“Oh, yeah, I mean, why wouldn't I be?” Olivia said.

She gave Olivia a curious look, noticing the slightly shaken expression on her face.

“Are you okay? You seem a bit off.”

Olivia took a deep breath, fighting back the tears. She forced a small smile, trying to appear normal.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied. “Just a lot on my mind, you know?”

Alex led Olivia into an empty interrogation room and closed the door gently behind them.

“Come on, Liv. You can talk to me. I know something’s bothering you. You look like you’re on the verge of tears.”

“I...I don’t know what to do, Alex,” Olivia said, her voice cracking. “I’m pregnant.”

“Liv…are you serious?” she asked, gently touching Olivia’s arm. “Who’s the father?”

Olivia looked away.

She didn’t want to say it, but she knew she had to tell the truth.

“Elliot,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “It’s…Elliot’s.”

The tears started falling down her cheeks, and Alex looked stunned.

“Elliot? As in Elliot Stabler?” she questioned, surprised. “But how…when?”

Olivia wiped away her tears as she continued speaking.

“It’s complicated,” she mumbled. “We…we had an affair a little over a month ago. I didn’t mean for it to happen. We hooked up the night Elliot shot Jenna. Things just happened.”

“Liv, I’m gonna ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me,” she said, her voice serious. “Does Elliot know?”

“I…I called him, but he hasn't responded since he put his papers in. I left him a voicemail."

Alex’s heart ached, a mix of sadness and anger.

She reached out and gave Olivia a tight hug.

“Oh, Liv…I’m so sorry,” she continued. “Maybe you should try calling him again or wait for him to get back to you. In the meantime, don’t stress too much. Alright?”

“You’re right,” Olivia replied, wiping away her tears again. “I’m just…I’m scared, Alex. What am I going to do?”

“You’re not alone, Liv,” she answered. “We’ll figure this out together, okay? You’re not in this by yourself. I’m here for you, whatever you need. Plus, your family is here - me, Fin, Much, and Cragen.”

“Thanks, Alex. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

The blonde chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.

“Hey, that’s what best friends are for, right? To listen to your problems and give you bad advice.”

Olivia couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“You bet I am. Best friend ever, at your service.”
  
Fin and Olivia stepped out of the car and approached the house, with her taking the lead.

She knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.

After a few moments, a middle-aged woman opened the door, looking tired and weary.

"Hello, Mary," Olivia said, showing her badge. "We’re detectives with the NYPD. We’d like to ask you a few questions about a case we’re investigating."

"Sure, come in," Mary replied, leading them to the living room. "What is this about?"

“Yes, ma’am. We’re trying to locate a man named Tony Banson. Do you know him?” Fin asked.

“Oh, Tony, He was always causing trouble wherever he went. He abandoned his wife and child. Got some women at his job pregnant and just disappeared. Good riddance, if you ask me.”

“Can you tell us anything else about Tony? Like where he used to hang out, who he was close with, stuff like that?” Fin continued.

Olivia froze, her thoughts starting to consume her.

Elliot’s never coming back; he’s gone. He never left you, homewrecker; he cheated on his wife with you. You ruined a perfectly happy home. He left because of you, Olivia.

She suddenly felt a wave of dizziness and nausea wash over her.

She tried to hide it, but Fin could tell something was wrong.

He looked at her, a concerned expression on his face.

“Liv, you okay?” was his question.

Olivia forced a weak smile and nodded, trying to act like she was alright.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she mumbled.

Fin stood up and thanked the woman for her time, but his gaze was fixed on Olivia.

As they walked out of the house and back to the car, Fin spoke once more.

“Liv, you can drop the act now. I know something’s up. Care to fill me in?”

Olivia stayed silent and bit her lip, thoughts rambling.

Fin leaned against the car, crossing his arms.

“Come on, Liv. You can tell me. I’m your partner. What’s going on?” he asked again, his voice gentle but persistent.

“I’m pregnant, Fin,” she said, softly.

“Liv…you’re pregnant? Well, congratulations! Who’s the father?”

“Oh, just a one-night stand, nothing serious,” she said. “It was a mistake, a moment of weakness. I never planned on getting pregnant, it just happened.”

“Just a one-night stand, huh? That’s it?” he asked skeptically. “Are you sure about that?” Fin then raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, Fin. Just a one-night stand. That’s all there is to it,” she replied, avoiding eye contact.

“So, does baby daddy not want anything to do with the baby?” Fin questioned, getting into the car.

“It’s...complicated,” she muttered, getting into the car. “We’re not in a relationship. The pregnancy was not planned, and he hasn’t responded to my message.”

“He hasn’t responded to your message, huh? That doesn’t sound complicated. That sounds like avoiding responsibility.”

Olivia shrugged. “Well, he’s a free man. He can do what he wants.” Her voice was a little defensive.

Fin narrowed his eyes, not buying it, but he didn’t want to push the issue.

"Well, at the end of the day, he should man up and take responsibility for his actions, and if you want me to shoot him, I will, and we are family, baby girl. I always got your back,” Fin said.

Olivia chuckled faintly, appreciating his protective nature.

"I know you have my back, Fin. It's one of the things I love about you. But shooting him isn't necessary - yet," she added with a half-smile.

Fin smirked, satisfied with her response.

"Alright, no shooting just yet," he continued, as they started driving back to the precinct.

…

It was dark outside, but since there was no clock on the wall, Elliot had no sense of what time it actually was.

He already felt his heart palpitate, and his forehead was beginning to be drenched in sweat.

He could tell that he was starting to have withdrawal symptoms, and he was in need of his next fix.

The masked figure had left him a bandana, syringe, a lighter, and a spoon with the drugs already on it.

Elliot could feel his heart beating faster as he rolled his sleeve up and tied the bandana around his arm as a temporary tourniquet.

It didn’t take long for him to heat the drugs up, and once it was at the right temperature, he pulled on the syringe so that he could get the drug inside.

He looked at the dark-colored stuff before injecting it into his arm, then untying the tourniquet, allowing the drug to take effect.

He soon felt a sense of euphoria.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

…

Elliot shifted rapidly on the bed, his body drenched in sweat.

His mind was consumed by a desperate need for heroin - it was the only thing that he wanted at that moment.

Elliot was in the throes of severe withdrawal, his every muscle quivering as his body begged for the substance it had grown dependent on.

The symptoms were intense - Elliot's body shook violently, and his limbs were twitching and jerking.

His stomach cramped and he began to retch. His heart raced wildly in his chest, the beat loud and erratic.

The need for heroin was all-consuming, a fire that raged through his veins with an almost unbearable intensity.

He writhed on the bed, a low moan of pain escaping his lips as the withdrawal symptoms reached their peak.

Elliot’s mind raced, flooded with the memories of the high he's desperately craving.

He recalled the blissful numbness, the sweet oblivion, the moment of escape from reality that heroin offered.

To drown him in the sorrows of guilt that consumed him.

As the hours passed, Elliot's condition worsened. The symptoms grew more severe, and the pain became more intense.

He cried out, clutching at his stomach, his mind filled with a constant litany of need and despair.

The withdrawal was like a living, breathing monster, consuming him from the inside out.

When the masked figure finally came into the room and saw Elliot’s current state, they quickly made their way over to him and gave him the necessary dose of heroin to stop the withdrawal.

It took a moment, but the drugs soon helped Elliot to feel calm once again.
  Seeing her partner’s wife storm into the precinct was definitely not on the list of things she was expecting to happen that day. “Olivia! Olivia, I know that Elliot’s with you!” Kathy yelled at her."What brings you here?" Olivia asked, stepping around her desk. “Of course you would do this, playing stupid! I know Elliot has been staying at your place for the last several months. He told me everything! Where is he?” she demanded, crossing her arms.“He...told you we slept together? I’m not proud of it, but...yes, Kathy, we did." Olivia’s eyes widened as she bit her lip, her baby bump now somewhat visible. It didn’t take long for Kathy to notice it, and she became even more upset. “No. I was going to say he hasn’t been home in months, so he must be at your apartment. And now it’s clear that you’re nothing but a home-wrecking whore!” the other woman yelled. All heads turned towards Olivia, and she could feel the weight of their gazes upon her, judging her every word and action.“Kathy, I-” “Fucking save it, Olivia. I can’t believe you’re a slimy whore! I never should have trusted you!” Olivia felt completely humiliated, her dark secret now everyone’s business. She started making her way over to the stairs, then heading up to the rooftop, where the tears started to fall. A few moments later, Fin came through the door. "Hey, hey," he said as he approached Olivia, wrapping his arms around her comfortingly. "You okay?”Olivia took a deep breath before speaking. “I’m a homewrecker, Fin!” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “Everything feels like it’s crashing down on me, and now Elliot is apparently missing.”"You’re not a home wrecker, Olivia. Sometimes, life throws us into complicated situations, and we make mistakes. It doesn’t define who we are. It takes two to tango." He then furrowed his brows. "But what do you mean, Elliot’s missing? What happened?""The night he shot Jenna," she said, a hint of sadness in her tone. "It was a...mistake. A moment of weakness that led to one night together." Her expression hardened, her cheeks flushing slightly with shame. "Since then, we haven't spoken.” Olivia started to cry again.“Olivia,” Fin continued. “I need you to be honest with me now. Is Elliot the father of your baby?” Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment, her body trembling slightly in Fin’s arms.“Yes,” she replied. “He’s the father.”"Liv, you're my sister from another mister. Why did you lie to me?" he asked, feeling hurt that she didn’t trust him enough to share such information with him.   Olivia sighed. "I’m so sorry, Fin," she said. "I was scared. Scared of the judgment, scared of what it would mean for our friendship. But I know I should’ve trusted you. I should’ve shared this with you from the start."“Liv, I know better than anyone that you and Stabler have a serious connection, and I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner. I’m even more shocked that Elliot left, and now I'm going to shoot him when I see him next.” “I wish it were that simple, Fin, but there's a bigger problem at hand. If Kathy doesn’t even know where Elliot is, and it’s been several months since she has seen him? Where is Elliot?”"You're right," he replied. "Several months is a long time to be away without saying a word. We need to consider all possibilities, Olivia. Something could have happened to him, and Kathy is now just saying something…I don’t have a good feeling about this.”Olivia nodded, sniffling. "Absolutely," she said. "Kathy could be holding back crucial information, and we can't afford to ignore any possibility. We need to put everything aside and prioritize finding Elliot. He might be in danger or worse…Kathy might have done something. We need to investigate her.”   The masked figure all but kicked open the door to Elliot’s room, and since he was still strung out on heroin, he didn’t really react to the situation. "I have a little surprise for you," they said, gesturing grandly at the woman next to them. She was also strung out, and Elliot recognized her right away as Tia, a fellow detective who’d gone missing more than six months ago. The figure shoved her into the room, causing her to trip over her own feet.Elliot's eyes widened, and his voice caught in his throat. "Olivia, is that you?" he said.Tia, herself consumed by the same dosage of heroin, barely managed a feeble nod. Her cheeks were flushed, and her eyes appeared distant as she struggled to focus on Elliot. "Hi, Elliot," Tia slurred, approaching him. "That night was magical," Elliot said, his voice also slurring. "But then you disappeared. I couldn’t find you anywhere." He looked at Tia, his eyes searching hers. "But you're here now, and I won’t lose you again, Olivia." He then leaned in and planted a kiss on Tia's lips. In his drug-addled mind, he could almost convince himself that she was Olivia. Tia kissed him back, and as it turned to making out, Elliot found himself increasingly caught up in the illusion.Her touch felt like Olivia’s. Her scent, her presence—it was eerily similar.The lines between fantasy and reality blurred even further as the drug further took ahold, drowning out any clarity or conscience Elliot might have had.He clung to Tia with a desperate intensity, his hands roaming over her body as he tried to lose himself in the fantasy."You’re here...really here," he said between kisses. “Liv…” His lips were soon tracing a path from her mouth to her neck. "You're so beautiful.”“You’re not so bad yourself, Elliot,” Tia slurred out as they fell onto the bed. His hand slipped beneath her shirt, his fingers deftly unhooking her bra, freeing her full, heavy breasts. He cupped and squeezed them, which elicited a moan from Tia in response, and it fuelled his desires. As the drug continued coursing through his veins, Elliot lowered his head and took a nipple into his mouth. He suckled, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud before biting gently.Tia gasped, arching her back towards him, encouraging his ministrations. Her hands tangled in his hair, holding him to her breast, as if afraid he would pull away.Meanwhile, Elliot's other hand roamed lower, dipping below her waistband to find the warmth between her thighs. His fingers brushed against her damp folds, teasing at her entrance before placing his fingers inside.“Elliot, I want you,” Tia moaned. He soon undressed himself, and she did the same.“I want you too, baby.” He breathed against her mouth. “Want to be buried deep inside you, feel your tight little cunt squeezing my cock.” With a single, powerful thrust, Elliot buried himself to the hilt inside Tia's pussy.They both let out moans, their bodies trembling with the force of their joining.“Oh fuck, Liv.” Elliot grunted as he drove into her again and again. “So fucking tight. Love this sweet pussy.” Lost in his delusion, Elliot saw only Olivia beneath him - her face, her body, her responses - and it fueled his passion.Tia could only hang on for dear life, her nails raking down Elliot's back as he fucked her hard.“Harder!” she cried out.He complied, slamming into her harder, and the sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room.“Yes, yes, YES!” Tia screamed. Her inner walls clenched around Elliot's cock.With a final thrust, Elliot buried himself to the root and held still, his seed erupting deep inside her.“Fuck, Olivia,” Elliot panted, rolling off Tia and lying beside her on the bed.Despite the haze of drugs clouding his mind, Elliot felt an odd sense of satisfaction wash over him.It wasn't just about the physical release; it was something deeper, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.The door suddenly swung open, with the masked figure on the other side. They saw what was happening and looked shocked."For the love of all things unholy!" they said. Elliot and Tia jolt at the sound of the boss’s voice. "You two need to get dressed this instant. We have business to attend to and no time for this...this lewd behavior." They glare at Elliot and Tia. "Pull yourselves together. And do it now, or no more heroin for either of you."They quickly untangled themselves and started to get dressed. "Good," the boss said. "This...interlude was an unexpected pleasure, but now, we have business to attend to." They motioned towards the door with a grin. "After you."

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Kathy sat in one of the empty interrogation rooms, glaring at Olivia the entire time. “I’m telling you, I don’t know where Elliot is!” she said angrily. “I’ve been assuming this whole time that he’s been with you, Olivia. And it’s clear that he was with you, because, well…look at you now.” Olivia crossed her arms, fighting every urge to roll her eyes. “Yes, Kathy, Elliot and I slept together. But it was one time, and then he never contacted me again. I tried to reach out to him, but he never responded.” Kathy didn’t seem to believe her, and instead, accused Olivia of hiding him and not letting him return to his family. “I came into work on the Monday afterwards and found out that he had resigned from SVU, and that was it. He never reached out to me after that Friday.” “He was my husband, you bitch! You had no right to sleep with him! He wasn’t yours to begin with!” She then slapped Olivia across the face, and it left the other woman stunned. “I could have you charged for assault,” Olivia said. “But I’m not going to. We both want to know where Elliot is.” Kathy sighed, feeling relieved that she wasn’t going to be charged, but she was still feeling a great sense of hatred towards Olivia. “After he resigned…” Kathy said. “We were supposed to move to Rome. When I told him that I’d already gotten the plane tickets, he got angry and left. I thought he just needed some time to cool off, but then he didn’t come back that night. I tried calling him, texting him, but there was no response. I kind of assumed he had decided to go back to New York. I went to Rome with Eli, hoping that Elliot would eventually join me, but after months of radio silence, I just assumed he wanted nothing to do with me anymore and decided to move on with his life.” Olivia was shocked to learn this news, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it.“And before you ask, no, I don’t know where he is. None of our kids know where he is either. They tried reaching out to him as well, and they never got a response.” Alarm bells started ringing in Olivia’s mind.If he wasn’t responding to any of his kids’ attempts to reach out to him…there was something going on…something very wrong, because he wouldn’t purposefully ignore his children. Since they had no evidence to charge Kathy with anything, she was allowed to leave, but before she left, she apologized to Olivia for slapping her. Olivia headed out to the squad room and told them what she’d learned from Kathy. While the squad was definitely suspicious as to why there had been no missing persons report filed for Elliot, they were definitely concerned that something had happened, after Olivia mentioned that none of his kids were able to get in contact with him. Within half an hour, a missing persons report was filed on behalf of Elliot, and the poster was shared across multiple news outlets that evening.    He’d become startled when he heard the door open, scrambling to try and hide the various notes he’d been writing during his time in captivity. “What’s that there?” the masked figure asked, noticing a piece of paper next to Elliot and immediately becoming suspicious. “Nothing,” Elliot replied, hoping that his boss would leave the matter alone and not pry for further details. “It’s just a piece of paper, that’s all.” The figure made their way over to Elliot and snatched the paper, uncrumpling it and reading what was on it. “Details of your time here?” they said, getting angry. “I helped you get sober from heroin, and this is how you betray me? By labeling me as a monster and an abuser? What is wrong with you?” Elliot couldn’t believe what he was hearing.“Because that’s what you are,” Elliot snarled. “You abducted me, took me away from my family, and got me addicted to heroin. You’re nothing but a sadistic drug lord and a piece of shit.” Elliot soon got a hard punch to the gut, which sent him to the ground. The drug lord then injected Elliot with a sedative to keep him from fighting back. The medication was fast acting because within 30 seconds, he had gone limp.   When Elliot woke up next, his head felt heavy, and his entire body felt weak. He looked around the room and saw a fireplace that was currently on. He appeared to be in some sort of library, but he wasn’t 100 percent sure where he was exactly. “Welcome back, sleepyhead,” the drug lord said. “Sorry about the drugs, but you are a feisty one, and I can’t risk having you fight back. I’ve brought you here because you need to learn a very important lesson.” “Wha…what lesson?” Elliot asked, his voice still a bit slurred. He blinked a few times, adjusting his eyes to the light. “That you are to do whatever I tell you to do. As punishment for talking back to me and being disrespectful, you will never be seeing your little journal entries again.” Elliot watched as his captor held the pieces of paper in his hand, then promptly tossed them into the fire. “And another thing…” the man said. “Part two of your punishment. You will have to pick a new name for yourself.” He couldn’t believe what he was hearing - he had to be dreaming. “No, I won’t,” Elliot replied. “I’m not picking a new name. My name is Elliot, and no matter what you say or do, you sick bastard, this changes nothing.” It only made the drug lord more pissed off, and when he approached Elliot, he put a hand around his throat and began to squeeze. “Listen here, Detective. I see the potential in you to be a very good asset. But you can’t keep making these smartass remarks.” He could see that Elliot’s lips were starting to turn blue. “You will choose a new name for yourself. Or I will choose one for you.” He released his hand, causing Elliot to cough several times as he gasped for air. “Don’t make me tell you again. Next time, I won’t be nice if I were to put my hand on your throat.” The drug lord then forced Elliot to get to his feet, before guiding him over to the table and restraining his ankles with zip ties. “Now, there’s something I’m going to need you to do for me,” he continued. “And if you don’t do it, I have no qualms about strangling you again.” Elliot swallowed nervously, wondering what this sick bastard was going to have him do next. The drug lord then set down a pen, as well as a piece of paper. “Don’t even think about stabbing yourself or me with that. Actually, never mind. You can go ahead and stab yourself if you want to, because the only way you’re leaving this place is in a body bag. Understood?” Elliot didn’t even bother to give a snarky response, knowing it would just lead to him getting punished further, so he just nodded yes. “I want you to write your given name on this paper. And once you’ve written it enough times to completely fill the paper, you will toss it into the fire.” It seemed so stupid, but he didn’t want to risk being beaten or drugged again, so he picked up the pen and did as the drug lord asked of him. His hand was cramping by the time he’d finished filling out the paper, a few tears forming in his eyes as the zip ties were cut, and a gun was pointed at the back of his head. Elliot had no choice but to walk over to the fireplace and toss the paper inside, watching it go up in flames immediately.“Your life as Elliot Stabler is no more,” the drug lord said, smiling. “From now on, you will go by your new name. I hope you’ve made a decision on what that will be.” Elliot had been thinking about what his new name would be as he’d filled out the paper, and he’d made his decision. “Fred,” he answered, doing his best to fight back the vomit forming in his throat. “My new name is Fred.”“Excellent choice.” The boss then tapped his fingers together, knowing he was one step closer to breaking Elliot completely.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

The masked man entered the room and observed Elliot, who was starting to show signs of withdrawal again. “Well, well, well, look who we have here. Seems like you've been indulging a bit of the good stuff, haven't you, Fred? And it appears that you need more,” he chuckled. Elliot’s mind was hazy, and he struggled to speak, but he managed to choke out a few words. "Where is Olivia?" The drug lord laughed before he spoke again. “Oh, you mean Tia? Well, I got her working, but as far as Olivia goes…I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but she and your son, Noah, are dead.” Elliot's eyes widened. "What...you're lying..." he choked out.The drug lord smiled. "Ah, Fred, it's so obvious, you know, but it's all part of the game, isn't it? I enjoy watching you struggle to come to terms with the truth.”“How! Why! Who killed them?” Elliot shouted, managing to get up, but falling back over, due to still being weak from the heroin. "I wonder who…but really, isn't it obvious? The answer should be quite clear to you at this point. I did, Fred.” “I will kill you!” Elliot shouted, and with a burst of adrenaline, he summoned all the strength he had left and got to his feet again before lunging at the masked man. The impact of his attack caused him to stumble backward, caught off guard by the unexpected assault.The drug lord composed himself and pushed Elliot back down on the hard floor."Do you really think you can take me on in your current state? You're just a pathetic junkie." He smirked as he took off his mask.“Ri-Richard Wheatley?” Elliot said, left completely in shock. Wheatley smiled as he looked down at Elliot. "Oh, I see you recognize me, huh? I'm surprised you're still coherent enough to remember my name. You remember getting my wife killed as well?" he replied, delivering a hard kick to Elliot’s stomach.He gasped in pain, but managed to blurt out his defense. "No...no, no, no, I didn't kill her. She killed herself!" The memory of the tragic event was still fresh in his mind, and he couldn't believe that Wheatley would blame him for her death.  
Angela Wheatley was driving on a busy highway, tears streaming down her face. Her voice was shaky and filled with despair as she spoke into her phone.

"Elliot, I can't do this anymore," she sobbed. "I can't keep living a lie, trapped in a marriage with a monster."

"Angela, please listen to me. You can get out of this. I will help you. He won’t lay another hand on you!" Elliot said, riding behind her in the squad car.

"No, Elliot, he will only hurt you if you try to help me." She took a deep breath. "He'll always win this game, and I won't be the prize."

Her voice faltered as she steered the car off the edge of the mountain.

“Angela, no!” Elliot shouted as he watched the scene unfold.

He parked his car and rushed out, looking down.

After what felt like an eternity, she was declared dead at the scene.
  "She was a fool, a weak-minded fool." Wheatley scoffed at the memory of his wife's demise. "She let her emotions get the better of her and took the coward's way out. You didn’t help enough! You could’ve stopped her, Fred!”"You're wrong! I tried to help her, but she obviously didn’t want it!" Elliot said."Well, it's too late now. You took the love of my life, and I took the one true love of yours. It's only fair, isn't it?" Wheatley paused before chuckling. "And now I'm going to kill your precious Kathy, along with the rest of your children." "You touch them, and I will kill you!" he growled.  "Oh, how cute. You think you have the power to threaten me? You are weak and pitiful, addicted to heroin, and utterly helpless." Wheatley knelt down in front of Elliot, holding a syringe full of heroin in his hand. "Want a taste, Fred? I know you're craving it; I can see the desperation in your eyes. You're weak and addicted. I know you want it.”"No...I-I can't give in," Elliot muttered weakly, but the words were hollow, his eyes betraying his true desire.Wheatley grinned. "Oh, come on, Fred, you know you want it. Just a little taste. It's all you need to numb the pain, to make you forget all your troubles." He teased the syringe in front of Elliot, seeing his body tremble with need. "I...I can't...I have to...resist," he gasped out. Elliot attempted to tear his gaze away from the syringe, but it was as if there was an invisible force drawing him closer to it."You're fighting a losing battle, Fred. Your weakness is consuming you. Just give in. It's the only way to make the pain go away." He continued to wave the heroin syringe tauntingly, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before he stopped fighting back.Wheatley ended up being right, because less than a minute later, Elliot's resistance crumbled, and he could no longer fight the pull of the heroin. "Give it to me...please,” Elliot pleaded."There you go, Fred. That's the weak-minded fool I know. You're just a slave to the addiction, to the need for temporary relief." Wheatley chuckled darkly as he handed the syringe to Elliot.He took it and shot the heroin up in his arms.It instantly flooded Elliot's system, releasing waves of pleasure and relief that drowned out his despair. Wheatley stood up, chuckling at Elliot's pathetic state before walking away.  Olivia was pacing back and forth in her office, holding her baby, Noah, who wouldn’t stop crying.She rocked him gently, trying to soothe him with soothing words. "Shhh, sweet baby, it's okay. Mommy's here," she cooed gently.Fin walked into the room, hearing the sounds of a crying baby and seeing Olivia struggling. "Is everything okay here? Seems like you have your hands full.”“Yeah, Fin, I’m fine,” Olivia said, letting out a heavy breath. “Liv, when's the last time you've slept? You're living off coffee, and you look like you're about to collapse at any minute."“Ugh, I don’t know last night,” Olivia replied, sighing.“Don’t lie to me, Benson.”“Fin…I, that night with Elliot was the last time I actually slept. I don’t know where he is. I’m a single mom, and I don’t know how to get him to stop crying,” Olivia was on the brink of tears, and Fin gently took Noah from her arms, cradling him on his own. "Liv, I want you to listen to me and do something for yourself for a change. I'll take care of Noah and have him stay with Phoebe for the weekend. You need to catch up on some sleep, have a relaxing bath, and just let yourself unwind. Trust me, we'll find Elliot. But for now, you need to take care of yourself.""Fin, I can't ask you to take Noah for the weekend. He's my responsibility, and I don't want to burden you with my problems,” Olivia said, who was now crying."Liv, it's not asking. It's my job as your big brother to take care of you. You need a break, and Noah will be fine with me and Phoebe. Just go and have a girls' night out with Alex. Get your mind off work, relax, and let me handle this." Olivia hesitated for a moment. "Alright, Fin. You can take Noah for the weekend. I'll call Alex and try to relax and put my mind at ease."Fin smiled, his hand resting on her shoulder. "That's the spirit, Liv. You deserve a break. Let yourself unwind and breathe. We'll take care of Noah and find Elliot. Just focus on taking care of yourself, okay?"Olivia managed a weak smile."Yeah, I'll try. Thank you, Fin.” she said, hugging him. She then kissed Noah’s head. “I love you, my sweet boy. Be good for Uncle Fin. I will see you in a few days.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Cragen's beach house in New Jersey ended up providing a tranquil escape for Olivia and Alex.

The calming beauty of the seaside surroundings seemed to wash away their worries, even if it was for just a moment.

They were away from the chaos and pressures of the city, but Elliot’s absence still heavily weighed on Olivia's mind.

It had been nearly four years since he’d disappeared, and they were still no closer to figuring out what had happened to him.

There were several theories floating around the precinct, but most people believed that he was probably lying dead somewhere.

“Hey, Captain, could I speak to you for a moment?” Olivia asked.

“Of course, Liv,” he replied. They made their way into his office, and after closing the door behind them, he asked, “What’s going on?”

“I need a few days off, if that’s okay. I need to process everything.” She let out a heavy breath, feeling completely on edge and in need of time alone.

She hated thinking that Elliot was dead, but she wasn’t sure if there was another explanation she could believe.

Even though Elliot had cut off contact in the beginning, she’d been holding onto the hope that he would eventually reach out to her again.

But no one had heard from him.

Not Kathy, not anyone on the squad, not even his own children.

It was as if Elliot had just vanished into thin air.

Olivia’s thoughts were soon interrupted by Cragen speaking again.

“No worries, Liv. You have plenty of vacation time to use. I’m offering you and whoever you want to bring to my beach house in New Jersey. It has a beautiful view that’ll wash all your worries right away.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder, and Olivia felt herself breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Captain. I'll take you up on that offer. I just need to figure out who I want to bring with me."

Olivia reached for her phone and typed a quick message to Alex.

- I’m taking a few days off and heading to Cragen's beach house in Jersey. You in?

It didn’t take too long for her friend to respond.

- Hell yeah! I could use a vacation too

Within a couple of hours, Cabot arrived at Olivia's place with her bags in hand, as if she were preparing for a month-long journey.

Olivia couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's enthusiasm.

"I take it that you're ready to go? Alex, we are leaving for a few days, not a year!" she complained, but she was definitely amused

Alex laughed before responding. “I’m ready to leave right now, and I didn’t know how long we were getting away.”

“Alright, let me go pack, and we can head out.”

It took less than an hour to get to the beach house, and once they arrived, Olivia and Alex set their bags down, with the blonde saying she wanted to take a brief nap before they would go get dinner.

Alex ended up sleeping on the couch, and Olivia decided to take some time to clear her head and process her thoughts.

She decided to go look around and see what restaurants and shops were nearby, and she walked the short distance to the main shopping center.

She saw a Mexican restaurant that had good prices, deciding that they were going to eat there, unless Alex had another idea.

As she turned the corner to continue looking around, she stopped short at the sight of a tall man off in the distance.

His build, stance, and even his movements resembled Elliot so much that for a second, Olivia thought that this man had to be him.

Her heart pounded in her chest as the man turned around to look over his shoulder, and she was left stunned as she saw the face of her former partner.

"Elliot?" Olivia called out, walking a few more steps towards him. "Elliot!"

But he continued to walk away, ignoring her.

He didn't turn around again or show any sign of recognition.

Olivia's heart sank, a wave of disappointment washing over her.

But she needed answers.

After nearly four years of searching, wondering what had become of him, she had to get closure. She had to know why he’d all but disappeared from her life.

Olivia caught up to him and firmly gripped his wrist.

He turned around as he yanked his wrist out of her grasp, showing no signs of recognition.

"Elliot! You're alive!" Olivia said, her voice trembling. “I just…I don’t even know where to start. You just disappeared one day. You didn’t contact me, your wife, your kids, no one…where have you been? We’ve all been worried sick about you.”

"I'm terribly sorry, ma'am," Elliot replied. "But you seem to have confused me with someone else. My name is Fred."

What the hell is he talking about?

"Stop it!" Olivia exclaimed, her eyes welling up with tears. "Your name is Elliot. What is going on with you? Why are you pretending like you don't know me? I'm Olivia, damn it! I was your partner."

He recognized her name and immediately hugged her tightly, thinking that he was never going to see her again.

“Elliot! Oh, Elliot! What happened to you?” Olivia continued, crying into his shoulder.

But he soon pulled back, stepping away.

“You can't be here; you're dead. He killed you," he muttered. "I'm losing my mind, aren't I? You're just a hallucination."

"Elliot, look at me. Really look at me," she pleaded, taking his face gently in her hands. "I'm here, I'm alive. I'm not a hallucination. It's me, Liv."

Elliot's eyes widened as he looked deep into Olivia's eyes as if searching for some sign, some confirmation that she was real.

He seemed torn between wanting to believe that she was actually standing in front of him, and fearing that his mind was playing tricks on him.

"Are you... real?" Elliot asked.

"Yes, I'm real," she said softly. "Touch me. I'll prove it to you."

She tried to touch him again, but he kept backing away, and it left her even more confused.

"You're not real, Olivia," he whispered. "Both you and our baby died. He told me he took away the one true love of my life. Now all I see is you...your ghost, or hallucination, whatever it is. I’m so sorry I let him kill you. I will be with you and our baby again one day."

"It's not your fault, Elliot," Olivia responded. "You didn't let anyone kill me. Noah and I are safe, Elliot, we always have! I'm here now. We're together again."

“My son…our son’s name is Noah?” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I miss you and will never stop loving you, Olivia. I’m sorry he killed you, but you aren’t real.”

Elliot's eyes started to fill with tears, and her heart ached when she saw them.

She asked herself,

What was going on? Why couldn’t he believe she was real?

"Noah...yes, that’s our son," Olivia whispered. "I came to you, and I'll never stop loving you either, Elliot. But please, you have to believe I'm real. I'm here with you right now."

Elliot leaned in and gently pressed his lips against Olivia's, his breath catching in his throat.

The hallucination, or whatever this was, felt so real, so vivid.

He could almost believe it was the real Olivia, that their child had survived.

"Goodbye, Olivia," he whispered once he pulled away, his voice choked with emotion. "I love you both. I have to wake up. This can't be real."

Elliot started to walk away, and she couldn’t stop herself from calling out his name.

She tried to grab his arm, to pull him back, but he slipped out of her grasp and continued walking away.

"Elliot, come back! Don’t go!" Olivia's voice was cracked with tears. "I just found you after all this time. Don’t leave me again! You just can’t!"

"Goodbye, Olivia. We will meet again with our son in the afterlife. Please don’t follow me,” he said, and with that, Elliot was gone.

Olivia was left on the ground, her sobs wracking her entire body. She stumbled a bit before pulling out her phone and calling Fin.

"Fin, I need your help,” she managed to say between sobs. "I found Elliot. But he...he's not in his right mind. He thinks I'm a hallucination. He...he just walked away from me. I can’t understand why.

“I’m on my way,” Fin said. “If he’s still close by, try to follow him. I’m leaving now. Send me your address.”

Elliot wasn’t too far ahead, so Olivia began to follow him.

She had to somehow convince him that she was real, that what he’d seen wasn’t a hallucination.

Olivia followed Elliot for a couple of miles to an alleyway, and when she got close, she didn’t get a good feeling.

Elliot looked over his shoulder to make sure that no one was looking before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a heroin-filled syringe.

Olivia watched as Elliot injected himself with the syringe, and within a minute, he seemed almost euphoric.

She wanted to scream.

Elliot wasn’t a drug user, he would never,

she thought.

This isn’t him at all.

Olivia called Fin again, practically in tears.

“He’s using drugs,” she said, sniffling. “I followed him to an alley, and he injected himself with god knows what.”

Fin was equally shocked.

“Fuck…” he cursed. “This just got more complicated.”

Olivia was crying even harder. “I just…I don’t understand. How could he do this to himself?”

Fin couldn’t understand it either.

“I wish I had a better answer for you, Olivia,” he continued. “But we have no idea what he’s been through for the last several years. Knowing Elliot, I doubt he would willingly inject himself with drugs.”

It made Olivia and Fin feel uneasy about the whole situation, leaving them with more questions than answers.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

It took Fin almost an hour to arrive at the location, due to heavy traffic on the roads. By the time he showed up, Elliot had long since left, and Olivia had been unable to keep up with him.

When Fin approached Olivia, he found her sitting on a bench, her face streaked with tears. Her nose was stuffed up, so he handed her a tissue, which she greatly appreciated.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Olivia said to Fin, blowing her nose, her voice choked from how much she’d been crying. “He just willingly gave himself drugs, or whatever was inside that syringe. And he said his name was Fred.”

Fin was confused. “What? He just told you that?”

“I called him Elliot, and he said that I had to have mistaken him with someone else. He also didn’t believe I was real, for some reason. He kept thinking I was dead.”

Nothing was making sense to Fin either.

“Son of a bitch,” he muttered. “God only knows what he’s gone through these last four years. We can only speculate…”

“I just want him back, Fin. He deserves to be at home with me and our son.” She started to tear up again. “He’s never even met his son…he should have been there.”

Fin pulled her into a hug. “We’re going to get him back, Liv.” He noticed that there was a Ziploc bag with a used syringe inside. “Is that the one Elliot was using?”

Olivia nodded her head. “I have to know what was inside. The fact that he did this willingly…it scares me to know what he was taking.”

Fin agreed to take the bag back with him to the precinct and have the lab put a rush on it, wanting to get the results as quickly as possible.

“Do you want to come back?” he asked her.

She shook her head no. “I need this vacation time, and so does Alex. When you get the results, please call me right away.”

Fin promised that he would before telling her that things were going to be okay, then hugging her once more before taking the Ziploc with him.

As he left to head back to his car, he got a bad gut feeling that the mystery behind Elliot’s disappearance was far from over. 
  
“YOU WHAT?!”

Elliot was startled by his captor’s sudden yelling.

“I’m sorry, I tried to get rid of her,” he pleaded with Wheatley. “But she was persistent. I had to come up with some excuse. Then again, I spent all that time arguing with a ghost.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” Wheatley snarled, delivering a punch to his face. Elliot cried out in pain, huddling into the fetal position as Wheatley punched him again, this time in the side. “You can’t do that again, Fred. You cannot risk being exposed. We’ve worked hard to build this empire, and it’s getting more successful everyday.” There was a knock on the door, and he told whoever was on the other side to come in. “Ah, Tia. Good to see you. I was just about to send someone to come and bring you here.”

Tia approached Elliot and smiled, placing a hand on his arm. She looked tired, and it seemed as though she would soon be in withdrawal.

Wheatley handed one syringe to her, and one to Elliot.

“I will leave you to it,” he said. “Fred, I will need to see you in my office in fifteen minutes.” Wheatley then left the room, leaving the twosome alone.

Elliot was at the end of his most recent dose, knowing that withdrawal would begin to settle in if he didn’t get a fix soon.

Tia began to roll up his sleeve, tapping his arm as she searched for a vein. Once she found what she was looking for, she injected the syringe and released the contents, with Elliot feeling euphoric almost immediately.

He cupped her face, thinking she was Olivia once again.

“Oh Liv,” he said. “Thank you. Let me give you the next dose.”

Tia rolled up her sleeve and allowed Elliot to inject her with the heroin, and once she was relaxed, she cupped his cheek and then pulled him in for a kiss.

“I love you,” she replied, smiling at him once more.

“I love you too, Olivia,” Elliot answered, returning the kiss. “Listen, Richard got mad.”

She had no idea what he was talking about, but now being strung out on heroin, she played along.

“I’m really sorry,” she answered. “I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to see you.”

He rested his forehead against hers. “It’s okay, Liv. We’ll just have to be more careful next time.”

She kissed him once more, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close.

“Make love to me,” Tia begged him, and Elliot didn’t hesitate to undress her, then took her over to the bed and did exactly what she asked of him.

He laid down on the bed, with Tia straddling his waist and sinking down on him.

“Fucking hell, Olivia,” Elliot said, reaching up to grab her breasts and squeezing gently. “You’re such a good girl -

my

good girl.”

Tia placed her hands on his shoulders. “Yes, I am. Always.”

With them both now fully strung out, they were focused on each other, lost in the pleasure.

When they were done, Elliot kissed her one more time before getting dressed and stepping out of the room, to go and find out what Wheatley wanted. 
  
“Ah, Fred, so good to see you again. I trust that the product was up to your standards?” Wheatley asked, tapping his fingers together.

“Yes, it was,” Elliot replied. “And Tia was also pleased with it.”

“Good, very good, I’m glad to hear that.” He paused a moment before continuing. “Thank you for not putting up a fuss to come down here. I just wanted to have a little chat.”

“About what?”

Before anything else was said, a man came up behind Elliot and shoved a black hood over his head, sending him into darkness.

“Your unfortunate little slip up,” Wheatley replied. “I’m sorry, Fred. But there are some things that must be done now as a result.”

Two other men held Elliot in a death grasp as he was led into the basement of the house. He was forced to sit in a chair, his wrists and ankles soon restrained with metal cuffs. In front of him was a TV screen attached to the wall.

“What the hell…let me go!” Elliot said, but the cuffs were tightly secured around his limbs, and he was unable to break free.

“Sorry, Fred,” Wheatley replied, grinning. “But you need to remember where your loyalty lies.”

He turned on the TV, showing a picture of Olivia. “She’s gone. But if she were still alive, you know that she is against you…against us.”

“No…can’t be…”

“Oh, but my dear Fred,” Wheatley said, kneeling down in front of his captive. “We have all the time in the world. Your dear Olivia would have stopped our operations. She’s not a good person, you have to understand that. Maybe you won’t understand it right away, but eventually, you will. And eventually, you will realize that everyone you used to know was against you too.”

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Olivia found herself at a bar, wanting to drink away the pain she was currently feeling. She wasn’t sure how to feel at that moment, but all she knew was that she needed a drink.

“Rough day?” Ed Tucker asked her, taking a seat next to her at the bar.

He requested a gin and tonic, and all Olivia did was nod her head and request a second drink, which she was given.

Less than half an hour ago, Fin had called her with the lab results of the syringe Elliot used, and to her horror, she learned that it had tested positive for heroin.

How could we have failed him so badly?

Olivia found herself asking.

He’s resorting to injecting himself with heroin.

And if her day couldn’t have gotten any worse, the rape victim of their current case ended up dying of her injuries.

It soon became too much for her, and that was how she found herself at the bar.

Olivia didn’t want to talk to

Tucker

of all people about her struggles, but she was hurting so much that she went against her better judgment, she opened up to him of how she’d been feeling.

To her surprise, he was willing to listen. He didn’t say much, but he let her pour out her feelings.

After they were done talking, Olivia headed home, and Tucker offered to accompany her back so that she wouldn’t have to go alone.

She accepted his offer, and once she got back to her apartment, she told him that she was going to take a shower.

Stripping off her clothes, she stepped inside once the water was hot, letting it hit her back.

She closed her eyes, reflecting on everything that had happened recently.

“Can I come in?” a voice asked.

“Sure,” she answered.

The shower curtain was pulled back and in stepped Tucker, pulling it shut behind him. Olivia just stared in front of her at the wall, not saying anything at that moment.

He soon lathered a bit of soap into his hands, caressing her breasts and feeling her relax into his touch. 
  
When Olivia woke up, she found that she was in bed, her clothes scattered around the floor.

She had a pounding headache, and her muscles ached all over.

Getting out of bed, she brought her arms over her head and stretched before heading to the bathroom to search for a Tylenol.

After swallowing the medication with some water, she began to get herself ready for the day, not looking forward to going into work.

She ended up going over the speed limit to get to work on time, but she happened to get stuck in traffic, resulting in her arriving 30 minutes late.

Her squad was already hard at work when she stepped into the precinct.

“Sorry all, there was a lot of traffic,” she said. “I would have gotten here earlier if there wasn’t.”

The team was surprised - and a bit confused - by her nonchalant attitude.

Olivia headed into her office, wanting to be alone for a while, but the peace and quiet was interrupted by Fin knocking on her door.

“Come in.”

He stepped inside, asking her how she was doing.

She crossed her arms. “How do you think I’m doing? I spent most of last night crying. I keep trying to tell myself that this is nothing more than a nightmare, but I end up coming back to that syringe. Elliot would never do this…I don’t want to believe it…” She could feel the tears forming once more. “After four years of searching for him, this is how I found him. It’s not fair…”

Fin made his way over to her, pulling her into a comforting hug.

“We’re going to get him back, Liv,” he said to her. “No matter how long it takes, we will get him back.”

She hated how there were more questions than answers.

“I just don’t understand what would have driven him to this,” Olivia continued. “This is not who he is. When I talked to him, he mentioned nothing about Kathy, nothing about his kids.”

Fin was left very confused, because this was definitely not who Elliot was.

He’d do anything for his children, and the fact that he didn’t even ask about them, or even mention them, left Fin with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

“We will have to prepare ourselves for dealing with heroin withdrawal when he’s eventually found,” Fin answered. “Like you said, Elliot would never take illegal drugs. It makes me think that perhaps someone forced him to take them. And you and I both know that for the most part, heroin is addictive from the first dose.”

The thought of someone forcing Elliot to take heroin made her sick, and she grabbed the wastebasket next to her desk, holding it on her lap in case she was going to vomit.

“If someone forced him to take heroin, it makes me think that he was probably abducted,” Fin continued. “And if that’s the case, then more than likely, he’s under his captor’s control if they’re letting him go out in public.”

Fin hated that he was telling her this, but he needed her to know what his theories were.

Olivia felt her stomach begin to heave, hugging the trash can close to her. The thought of Elliot having been kidnapped and forced to take illegal drugs became too much, and she threw up into the can until nothing else came up.

She pulled a water bottle out of her desk and cleaned her mouth out, hoping that the nauseous feeling wouldn’t come back.

“I’m really sorry, Liv,” Fin said, seeing her put the trash can down and then place her head in her hands. “We’re all here for you if you need anything.” He then tied the bag into a knot and told her that he’d throw it away, which she appreciated.

There was another knock on her door, and she felt like telling whoever was on the other side to go away, but she didn’t have the heart to.

“Come in,” she answered, and she was surprised to see Tucker stepping inside. “I thought we agreed to not be in contact with each other during the day.”

“Sorry,” was his reply. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine.” But she wasn’t really interested in talking further, wanting to just focus on her work and distract herself from continuing to think about Elliot. “I’ll see you later.”

Tucker nodded his head in agreement before heading out.

Olivia found that she could only stay at work for half a day, before going home to crack open a bottle of wine and try to numb her pain once more.

She had a total of three glasses over the afternoon, ordering in a pizza and eating half of it, wanting anything to keep herself from thinking about Elliot’s current situation.

And when Tucker came over that evening, she didn’t hesitate to fall into bed with him again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Elliot wasn’t entirely sure where he was at that moment.

He also had no idea how long he’d been in Wheatley’s custody at this point.

He thought he might have heard him say 2016 once or twice, and if that were true, it made Elliot realize that he’d been with Wheatley for the better part of five years.

Elliot doubted that anyone would still be searching for him at this point.

He asked himself why he continued to live, because the one person he truly loved was dead.

And where has the time gone?

he found himself asking.

Elliot was finding himself growing more annoyed with Wheatley each passing day, and he followed behind his captor, as if he were a puppy obeying its owner.

“What am I doing here?” Elliot asked, seeing that they were outside a house in the Bronx.

Wheatley smiled at him. “My dear Elliot, we’re here to deal with a problem. Our empire is growing everyday, and the police are doing everything they can to take this away from me, from us. We can’t let that happen, can we?”

Elliot nodded his head no, but all he could think about was Olivia - well, Tia for that matter. He’d watched as Wheatley executed her right in front of him, after he’d decided that she was of no use to him anymore. Wheatley had forced Elliot to bury her body in the backyard, and it had left him devastated.

The recent dose of heroin - a more potent strain - was flowing through his veins.

“Anyway,” Wheatley continued. “One of those stupid SVU cops is inside that house. It’s too risky having someone this close to our base of operations. It could prove disastrous for our members, and our operations could be compromised.”

The rational part of his brain told him to leave, that he should get as far away from Wheatley as possible, but the thoughts of more heroin began to consume him, and it was soon all he could focus on.

Wheatley got out of the car first, then Elliot. The two men quietly approached the house and quietly stepped inside.

“Unfortunately, Mr. Dodds has left us with only one option,” Wheatley said quietly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a handgun. “I wish it hadn’t come to this, but we don’t have a choice. Now, if Mr. Dodds is eliminated, he will-”

“Yeah, I get your point,” Elliot replied, grabbing the gun out of Wheatley’s hands and making his way into the living room, where Dodds was currently looking through papers on the coffee table. He looked up and saw the gun in Elliot’s hand, before shouting into his radio, “10-34W!”

And then Elliot fired, a single shot echoing through the air, the bullet striking Dodds in the abdomen.

“10-34, shots fired, 10-13, need help!” he said, placing a hand over his wound, immediately getting covered in blood.

Elliot turned around and handed the gun back to Wheatley, no emotion on his face whatsoever.

He just looked incredibly tired, but also strung out.

Wheatley smiled at Elliot, happy that the task had been carried out.

Dodds continued to cry out in pain, silently praying that someone would get to him in time. 
  
Olivia, Fin, and two EMTs arrived at the house three minutes later, with backup coming shortly. She raced inside, horrified at Mike’s current state, and she asked him what happened.

He coughed twice. “It was Detective Stabler! He tried to kill me.”

Olivia looked completely stunned. She didn’t want to believe that it was true, asking Dodds to clarify who he meant.

“Who do you think I’m talking about?” Dodds asked angrily, as the EMTs got him loaded up on a gurney, and an IV line into his arm. “Detective Elliot Stabler! He pointed a gun at me and shot me!”

Olivia suddenly felt her breathing pick up, the beginnings of a panic attack making themselves known.

“No…please…” she begged Dodds. “Please, don’t let that be true.”

“Well, it is!” As he was being led outside, he continued talking. “There was another man with him as well - white, tall, dark hair. The guy wasn’t a cop; I hadn’t seen him before. He just stood next to Elliot and said nothing.”

Dodds was then loaded into the ambulance, and as soon as the doors closed, Olivia immediately started to panic, her entire body feeling as if it were going to shut down.

It couldn’t be true…no…

Olivia put a hand over her mouth, muffling her screams.

She wanted to tell herself that this was all just a bad dream, and that when she woke up, everything would be normal. She and Elliot would be laying together in bed, Noah would be in his own bed, and the three of them would all be one happy family.

Olivia’s breathing picked up, everything becoming too much for her.

Fin found her leaning against her car, in the midst of hyperventilating.

“It can’t be true, it can’t be him,” Olivia said, almost gasping for air. “Tell me it’s not true!”

“Tell you what’s not true?”

Olivia grabbed onto his arms for support, feeling as if she might collapse. “That Elliot isn’t the one who tried to kill Dodds.”

Fin was confused. “Who…what…what’s going on?”

Olivia sniffled a couple of times, unable to stop the tears from falling. “Dodds said that Elliot was the one who shot him. He also told me that there was someone else with him - a tall white guy with dark hair.”

“Breathe, Liv. Please just try to calm down. We’re going to get to the bottom of this.” He then told her he would put in a rush on the security camera footage outside the house, to find out if what Dodds said was the truth. 
  
Olivia waited at the hospital with Dodds Sr., along with Amanda and Sonny.

No one wanted to believe that one of their own would actually shoot another cop in cold blood.

Fin called Olivia an hour later, and after she answered the call, she held her breath while she waited for him to tell her about the results.

“Liv,” Fin said. “We rewatched the footage multiple times, but it looks like what Dodds said is the truth. Elliot indeed went into that house with the tall, dark haired man, and they left together after a few minutes.”

Olivia felt as though she might start panicking once more, thinking that her day couldn’t possibly get worse then this.

But then the doctor came out and spoke to Dodds Sr., and his face fell. Once they left, he turned to Olivia and without any introduction, said, “Mike suffered a stroke, and he passed away. He is still hooked up to machines, to leave me time to decide if I want to donate his organs.”

“I’m so sorry,” she told him, giving him a comforting hug. But she needed to be alone, not wanting anyone to see how much pain she was truly in.

Olivia found a single-stall bathroom that was unoccupied, and once she stepped inside and locked the door, she sank to the ground and began to sob.

Elliot had…killed someone.

Not in self-defense, but in cold blood.

He was a

murderer.

She didn’t know what to think anymore, her heart feeling as though it had been broken into many pieces. 
  
The next evening, Elliot was in Wheatley’s hideout, watching the local news.

Mike Dodds’s death was the top story of the hour, and Elliot was intently watching the screen, curious as to what the reporters were going to say about it.

“Sergeant Mike Dodds was gunned down yesterday afternoon on the job,” the main reporter said. “Cause of death was homicide, a single gunshot wound to the abdomen. The suspect responsible for this random act of violence is none other than Detective Elliot Stabler, a decorated member of the NYPD’s Special Victims Unit. If anyone sees this man, please call the Manhattan SVU and report the sighting. Do not approach him, for he is considered to be armed and dangerous.”

Elliot was horrified as to what he had just seen. He wanted to tell himself that this was just some alternate universe, because he would never,

ever,

willingly commit cold-blooded murder.

All he could picture was standing in the home where Dodds had been, taking Wheatley’s gun and shooting him.

Wheatley soon entered the room and smiled at Elliot.

“Look at you,” he said. “You’ve made the news. You’re famous.”

Elliot stood up, filled with nothing but hatred and rage towards this man. “Tell me that what they said isn’t true. I’m not a killer. I wouldn’t…”

Wheatley crossed his arms. “Oh, but you are. You murdered an innocent police officer in broad daylight, and now, everyone knows you did it. It won’t matter if you get out of here, because the moment someone sees you, you’re going to prison.” He pulled out a capped syringe from his pocket, and Elliot immediately reacted at the sight of it, rolling up his sleeve. “Oh, my dear Fred. I don’t even have to tell you anymore, you just react right away.” Wheatley approached Elliot, with the other man not showing any signs of resistance, and injected him with a new dose of the more potent heroin. It didn’t take long for Elliot to feel relaxed, the familiar feeling of the drugs coursing through his veins. “I know you think you didn’t shoot that cop, but you did. Your sense of what’s real and what’s not is completely messed up. You won’t ever know what is the truth again.”

Elliot soon laid back on the couch, staring at the ceiling as the drugs fully took effect.

He was now at the point where he was completely addicted and dependent on heroin, no longer able to function without it.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Olivia had essentially gone numb after the revelation that Elliot had killed Dodds Jr. She couldn’t help but blame herself for his death, wishing that she had been there.  Maybe if I had, then Mike wouldn’t be dead, she told herself. She wanted to believe that Elliot was truly innocent and that someone was just setting him up for the murder, but with the evidence they had, there was no denying that Elliot was guilty of the crime.  Olivia found herself drinking more at home, trying to find some way to cope with the pain she was feeling. She started to ask herself if she was going to end up becoming an alcoholic like her mother. It wasn’t the life she had envisioned for herself, but what even was her life now? The love of her life was going to be in prison for at least twenty-five years. She passed out at home and woke up late the next morning, being hungover and having to drag herself into the precinct. Her squad noticed this behavior, and they were becoming concerned for their Lieutenant, knowing that she was dealing with a very difficult situation. She started snapping at her squad members, demanding to be left alone. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to hear anything they had to say. It was all too painful, and she didn’t know how she was going to handle it. While Olivia tucked herself away in her office, the rest of the team started looking into the case itself. They poured over all the photos and files that they had, running facial recognition on the man who had been seen with Elliot. Getting a positive match brought a sigh of relief to the team. “Richard Wheatley,” Fin said once the results popped up on the computer. “That name sounds familiar.”Cragen wasn’t one who came into work that often anymore, but he had been brought in to continue helping with Elliot’s disappearance. Rollins started to do some digging on her computer, seeing what results would pop up. Dozens of crime reports had been filed about Wheatley - kidnapping, drug trafficking, and murder just to name a few. The team didn’t get a good feeling about this at all, and it made them worried about Elliot, knowing if he had been in the clutches of this psychopath for the years he’d been missing, god only knew what he had gone through. “This guy’s a real piece of work,” Munch said as they started to read through the reports they had on Wheatley. “But we are no closer to figuring out why he might have taken Elliot.” Rollins had been reading up on Wheatley’s personal information, seeing if there was anything of significance, and when she came across his marital status, her spidey senses started tingling. “He was once married,” Amanda said, after pulling up a copy of Wheatley’s marriage license. “His wife, Angela, is deceased. Cause of death appears to be…” She then pulled up the death certificate. “Suicide after driving her car off a cliff.” The team began to feel even more uneasy after this revelation, the mystery deepening even more. “According to the reports, the lead detective on that case was none other than Elliot.”  It was as if it were just one painful blow after another. Olivia was mentally and emotionally drained, and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take. She decided to take the rest of the day off, preparing to go home and drink until she felt numb.  Waking up the next morning with a migraine seemed to be more common these days, but what she wasn’t expecting was the gray-haired man in bed next to her. “Oh, fuck,” she groaned when she realized the gravity of her current situation. I slept with the father of my recently deceased colleague…what have I done? Falling into bed with Dodds Sr. wasn’t something she’d planned on having happened, but in the midst of their grief, they’d done it. He woke up a couple of minutes later, and once he saw Olivia, the memories of the previous evening came back to him, and he felt very embarrassed. “Okay, we’re going to have to pretend as though this didn’t happen,” he said to her. “We were both very drunk last night, and we ended up making a bad decision.” She couldn’t have agreed more with his statement, deciding to put this behind her and focus on the task at hand - finding Richard Wheatley and getting Elliot away from him. Olivia headed into the bathroom to take a shower, hoping that it would help her to feel refreshed. Once she was done, she got dressed and made her way down to the kitchen, beginning to brew herself some coffee. Since her head was still throbbing, she took one Tylenol 3. Showing up to work while having a migraine was also becoming more common, and she knew that if this kept happening, her squad would start asking questions, which she didn’t want to answer.She was thankful to get to the precinct when she did, because the squad was already preparing to head out on a mission. “What the hell is going on?” she asked Fin. “We got a lead on Elliot,” he replied. “He was spotted outside a bank in Brooklyn. Camera picked him up in front of an ATM. We’re going to head over there and see what we find.” “I’m coming with,” Olivia continued. “And don’t try to tell me otherwise. He is the father of my child, and he’s also the love of my life.” Fin knew that her feelings for Elliot ran deep, even after everything that had happened over the last five years.He nodded his head in agreement, and the squad immediately headed out afterwards, determined to have this be the day where they finally got Elliot out of that psychopath’s clutches.   While Elliot was no longer at the bank when the squad arrived, one of the tellers was able to provide them with a good description of what had happened. “The man seemed to be struggling,” the teller said to Olivia. “He looked like he might have been high or something, I’m not sure. I asked him if he needed help, and he kept looking around the room, as if he was trying to find someone.” “Did he say anything?” Olivia asked her.“He said he needed help, that he was in trouble. He said he didn’t have much time before ‘the other man’ came back looking for him.” Olivia showed her a photo of Wheatley. “Is this ‘the other man?’” The woman nodded her head. “Yeah, that’s him.” “Did Elliot say anything to you before ‘the other man’ showed up?” “He said that he needed help because he wanted to get away from that man,” the teller continued. “He mentioned something about having been abducted five years ago, and that he’s been with that man ever since.” Olivia’s heart dropped to the floor once she heard that revelation. It confirmed what she had been suspecting for a while now. “Did he say anything about where he was going?” “No,” the woman said. “The other man showed up, and he went quiet.” “Thank you for your time,” Olivia replied, then turned around and made her way out of the bank, the realization of everything beginning to settle in. Fin walked over to her, seeing that she was close to collapsing, and immediately placed his hands on her shoulder. “Talk to me, Liv,” he said. “Talk to me. What happened?” “Elliot was trying to get help from the teller,” Olivia replied. “He was apparently high, but he was trying to get away from Wheatley. Elliot told her that he’d been abducted five years ago, and all this time, he’s been held captive. We should have looked harder for him…damn it! Look at him, look at what he’s gone through.” Olivia turned around and clenched her hands into fists, hitting them against the wall. “We failed him. The entire system failed him. And now he’s going to have to spend the next twenty-five years in prison. I can’t…I can’t deal with this…” “You can’t blame yourself, Liv.” Fin soon pulled her into a comforting hug. “This is not your fault. This is all on Wheatley. He is responsible for everything, and when we get him, he is going to pay for his crimes. He won’t be getting away with what he’s done.” Even though she knew what Fin was saying was true, it didn’t make her feel better. Her and Elliot’s lives were never going to be the same again.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

For the next three months, there were no new sightings of Elliot or Wheatley. Olivia had begun to think that she would never get Elliot back, that he would forever be subjected to Wheatley’s torture and captivity.

But the team managed to catch a break, after the two men were spotted on a security camera in Queens.

A brunette woman was with them, and Elliot seemed a little too friendly with her.

Olivia didn’t like what she saw at all, and she hoped that Elliot would still be there when she arrived.

We’re coming, El,

she told herself.

We’re going to get you out of there…you’ll be home soon…

She went to gather the team, and once they were able to get the exact location, they headed out.

Everyone was on edge, nervous of the potential outcomes of this mission.

Olivia didn’t even care that she was going over the speed limit, the only thing on her being Elliot’s rescue.

Each passing minute was agonizing, with Fin trying to reassure his friend that things were going to be okay.

“Wheatley’s not getting away with what he’s done,” he said to Olivia. “You have to know that, Liv. He’ll be going away for a very long time.”

“Doesn’t mean Elliot is going to be free; they’ll send him to prison,” she pointed out. “He killed Dodds - there’s no way around that.”

“Right now, we need to focus on getting him back and getting him away from Wheatley. He needs to start detox right away, and hopefully, we’ll be able to get some clearer answers.”

They turned off their sirens a couple of blocks away from the scene, getting out and quietly making their way towards the group.

Wheatley and Elliot were standing with the woman, along with a couple of armed guards.

The woman was happy to be with them, clinging onto Elliot’s arm.

“You know where your loyalty lies now, don’t you, Fred?” Wheatley asked, smiling.

Elliot nodded his head. “I’m loyal to you.” As he spoke, the words didn’t sit right with him.

It was nothing but a lie.

His loyalty was to the NYPD, but he doubted that anyone would believe him now.

Not after the death of Mike Dodds.

He’d been living with regret since that day, knowing that if he ever got free, he would have to face Dodds’ family in court.

And there was a part of him that knew they would never forgive him for what he’d done.

“Prove your loyalty to me by shooting her,” Wheatley said, that sickening smirk on his face once more. He handed Elliot a 9 millimeter, and it left the other man in disbelief.

Elliot’s face paled, and he shook his head no. “She’s an innocent civilian; I’m not going to do that. You know that I’m loyal to you, Richard. We don’t need to be killing innocent people.”

Wheatley smiled at him. “I know you say that, Fred, but I need you to prove it. You’ve already killed Mr. Dodds; I don’t see what’s the deal with you doing this to a woman.”

“Because I’m not a killer!” Elliot said. “It doesn’t matter what you say; this isn’t who I am.”

Wheatley then reached into his pocket and pulled out a heroin syringe. “Do you need a reminder? This is what you need.”

Elliot was upset. “No…I don’t need that.” Instead of pointing the gun at the woman, he pointed it at himself.

From off in the distance, Olivia’s hand flew over her mouth, silencing the scream that threatened to leave her lips.

No…no, he can’t do this!

she thought.

We’re so close to rescuing him, to have him home…

Fin could tell that she was planning on doing something stupid, and he told her not to.

“You’d put yourself and Elliot at risk,” he said. “We have to be smart about this, Liv.”

“He might end up killing himself,” Olivia told her friend. “After all these years of being tortured and held captive…no, we can’t let this happen.”

Elliot seemed close to pulling the trigger and ending his life. Olivia knew she had to do something, even if it meant risking her own life.

“Elliot! No!” Olivia yelled loudly, coming out from her hiding place. “Don’t do this!”

He heard her voice and turned around, shocked to see her.

Her eyes locked onto his, with them just staring at each other. 
  
As Elliot looked over at Olivia, seeing the face of the woman he loved more than anything, it was as if everything came rushing back to him, and he was suddenly filled with nothing but rage.

The rest of the squad followed behind her, pointing their guns at the guards, as well as Wheatley.

Once he was arrested and led away in handcuffs, Olivia rushed over to Elliot, seeing him looking strung out.

“Elliot, it’s me,” she said. “You’re safe. Wheatley can’t hurt you again. We need to get you to a hospital right away.”

He grasped onto her arms as if she were his last lifeline, looking into her eyes.

“Help me,” he replied, tightening his grasp. “Get me out of this.”

“I’ve got you, El. I’m not going anywhere.”

An ambulance was soon dispatched to the scene, and after Elliot was loaded up onto a gurney, Olivia climbed into the back, not wanting to be away from him.

Once they arrived at the hospital, Elliot informed the medical staff that he was on heroin and was close to withdrawal, his body beginning to sweat profusely.

The doctor now in charge of his case brought him to the ICU and immediately put him on methadone, to begin a controlled detox from his heroin usage.

It was going to be a brutal process, but at least it would stop the cravings. Elliot needed to know how much damage had been done to his body from his years of having to inject himself with said drug in order to feel a sense of normalcy.

Olivia refused to leave his room, even when the doctors came in to check on him. She made it known that she was not going anywhere, and she’d raise hell if someone tried to make her leave.

It was several hours later when Elliot finally started to feel a bit better, and he saw that Olivia was still there.

“You…you’re really here,” he said. “Please…I need to know if this is reality or if I’m dreaming.”

He didn’t think he could bear having another hallucination, having spent most of his time in captivity thinking that Olivia and Noah were dead.

She made her way over to him and he reached out to touch her face, feeling how soft her skin was.

“Oh god…” he continued. “You’re real. I’m not dreaming.”

“I’m right here, El.” She placed a hand on top of hers. “Not going anywhere.”

With his other hand, he pulled her in for a heated kiss, needing to feel her lips against his.

Olivia didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

She’d missed him more than anything.

Despite the long road ahead of them, she was grateful that Elliot was now out of Wheatley’s clutches.

----- CHAPTER BREAK -----

Four Years Later

The road to recovery had not been an easy one.

The years of heroin had done damage to his body, and there were times where he felt like relapsing into old habits.

Olivia had seen it first hand, where Elliot had come close to tasting that illegal substance, but she told him that he didn’t need it anymore, that he was no longer being held captive.

He was nearly four years sober, and he was glad that he no longer had to depend on heroin just to feel normal.

Having to deal with the murder charges for Mike Dodds, that was a whole different story.

Elliot was adamant in his defense that he hadn’t wanted to kill Mike, that he’d been manipulated and brainwashed by Wheatley to do his dirty work.

A doctor had been called to testify on his behalf, to prove that he hadn’t been in the right state of mind when he committed the crime.

The tests they ran showed that Elliot had been dosed with an incredibly powerful drug called scopolamine.

The jury members hadn’t heard of it before, so during the trial, the doctor explained that the drug was so powerful that it essentially left its victims incapacitated.

“How so?” Barba had asked.

“The drug affects the frontal lobe,” the doctor answered. “It severely affects a person’s judgment, and this can lead them to make decisions that they wouldn’t normally do if they weren’t affected by the drug. The victim can also have amnesia.”

“How severely can a person’s judgment be impaired? Enough to lead them to murder someone?”

“I had a case several years ago where a victim had been dosed with the drug, and they have no memory of emptying out their bank account and giving the perp their money,” was the response. “But yes, absolutely. Someone could be led to commit murder if under the influence of scopolamine. Another case that I remember, that person got a gun and was preparing to shoot up a mall. This drug is incredibly scary, and I’ve seen what it can do to people.”

With everyone’s testimony, as well as the evidence presented, Elliot had nervously awaited the jury’s verdict.

He was scared that he was going to be spending the next twenty-five years in prison, only being able to see Olivia from the inside of a prison cell, never being able to see their son grow up.

But then, he heard the verdict.

“Not guilty.”

Elliot had almost collapsed when he heard that, tears streaming down his face. He looked at the face of William Dodds, seeing how devastated the man looked.

“I am so sorry,” Elliot said to him. “I didn’t want to do it. If I had been in my right mind, I never would have done it. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me one day. I will understand if you don’t.”

Dodds Sr. said nothing, but he nodded his head in understanding before turning around and heading out of the courtroom.

Elliot had leaned against Olivia afterwards, to which she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a comforting hug.

Currently, he found himself on the couch in Olivia’s apartment, with her body pressed against his.

They’d been spending most of the time they had together in each other’s arms.

She straddled his waist and placed her hands on either side of his head, with Elliot wrapping his arms around her neck, pulling her in for a heated kiss.

“I missed you, El,” she told him. “Every day that you were gone…I was scared that I wasn’t going to see you again.”

“So did I,” he replied, kissing her once more. There were a few tears spilled, hitting her skin. “Liv…”

“You’re here, and you’re safe,” she told him, wiping his tears away. “Wheatley is in prison, and he can’t hurt you again.”

Even though he knew that Wheatley would be behind bars for the rest of his life, the memories of the five years of hell he went through would never leave him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Olivia reassured him, stroking his cheek and giving him another kiss. “You’ll always have me by your side, El. No matter what.”

He didn’t know what he would do without her, and he was grateful to have her by his side.

“I love you,” he said, pulling her close to him.

“I love you too.”

She rested her forehead against his own, knowing that even though they were still going to have challenges ahead, they would be able to make it through them, as long as they were together.