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In retrospect, inviting the most frustrating person he had barely met but had very much heard of in his life to a cafe was not the best idea. Choosing one on the 12th story of a building, and sitting right next to the window, was perhaps Niibashi’s worst idea.It had begun cordially enough. Niibashi had gotten Hirano’s contact info off of Kagiura with one goal in mind: To save his own sanity by ending Kagiura’s endless rambling about his love life. If Kagiura was happy with everything, Niibashi would listen to him ramble all day. But it was clear that Kagiura was suffering. Every day it seemed like he got more and more depressed about his chances. More confused about Hirano’s intentions. More pessimistic of his hope of ever finding love if this didn’t work out.Niibashi was overprotective of his friends. He’d never admit it to himself, but he was. So when the somewhat awkward conversation turned into a shouting match where Hirano announced that he’d cut off all contact with Kagiura because of Niibashi putting too much pressure on him, well.The vaguely Hirano shaped hole in the window spoke volumes about what happened next. The cafe was in chaos given the whole assault/murder that just happened in front of everyone. Niibashi assumed he was in what they called shock given he felt perfectly calm but couldn’t move if his life depended on it.Still when Kagiura appeared he was pretty sure he was just hallucinating.“Niibashi! Niibashi! I saw what happened! Are you alright?” He assumed his subconscious would haunt him with Hirano first, but he actually cared about Kagiura so it only made sense that this would be the spectre of his crimes for the rest of his life.Then the ghost slapped him and he realised it wasn’t a ghost at all.“W-what? Kagiura? Is that you?” Niibashi stuttered out, even though he couldn’t feel his mouth move.“Yes! Who else would it be?” He said before bringing Niibash into a bone crushing hug. What?“Are you comforting me?” Niibashi asked, utterly baffled by the action. He said he saw what happened. Why wasn’t he being justly pushed out the window himself?“I mean, I’m trying. Is it working?” Kagiura earnestly asked. What the fuck was wrong with this puppy dog of a man?“Kagiura, you are aware I just pushed your crush slash roommate out a 12th story window, almost certainly leading to his demise on the pavement below, right?” It was terrifying to say what he’d done out loud, but he’d have to live with it for however long he had left in life so may as well get used to it.“Bros before hoes Niibashi. Bros before hoes.” Kagiura replied, patting Niibashi on the back. He briefly considered finding whoever taught the boy those three words in that order and defenestrating them too, but Niibashi doubted he would have the chance to become a serial killer. Or the stomach.And then, like an angry spectre, Hirano climbed back through the broken window alongside a very confused looking window washer.“What the absolute fuck Niibashi?! Wait, why the hell is Kagi here? Is this a dream? If it is, I want a word with God. This dream is shit!” And on and on Hirano rambled until the police finally came to arrest Niibashi.Well, at least the charges would only be attempted murder now. And hey, the coffee he had that day was pretty damn good.Kagiura had decided to join Niibashi on his day of court mandated community service, because apparently picking up trash with a convicted felon was his idea of a good time."Kagi. How the hell did you managed to get Hirano to drop the charges?" Niibashi wasn't sure he wanted to know at this point, but really how much worse could it get?"Oh, I know of plenty of far worse things that he's done than attempted murder." What?"What?" Niibashi said whatily."Well you only did attempted murder, that's a whole step down from murder murder!" Niibashi wanted to scream, cry and curl up into a ball all at once. But instead he just sighed."You have terrible, and I mean terrible, taste in men.""Yeah..." Kagiura sighed dreamily while picking up a discarded coke can.He wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry, but he did know he needed to keep picking up trash. A shame there were no human shaped trash bins for him to deposit himself in.