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A man stands before his creation. The shadows seep around his lab and the soft buzzing electricity fills the room. He looks down at her with a smile, and strokes her hair with an extreme sense of affection and care. "Our time is seeping up like the sun, Rei. How are you feeling?" the man asks. "Good.", she replies, smiling brightly before him, unclothed. "We should get you some clothes. You can't go out looking like that." Their voices echo, though only slightly. The room they stand in is vast and dark, not much is visible besides from his desk and an orange tube. On his desk sits a telephone. It begins to ring harshly. Though starling, neither of them move an inch. The man moves to his desk and picks up the phone. Rei looks at him, not quite questioning who could be calling at this time, but not entirely lacking curiosity. "Mhm... yes... send for him immediately." the man murmurs into the phone with a neutral face. He hangs up and looks back at Rei, his smile returns. "The Third Children is on his way."The man stands before a child, in the central area of NERV HQ. People type on computers and scan the outer world. The HQ is located miles beneath Tokyo-3. The scans indicate some sort of... 'living' object on the surface. "So you want me to get inside this and fight that thing out there?" the Third Children exclaims at the man. "Correct." he replies to the kid. "I don't want to do that! Why send for me after all this time?! I thought you left me..." he looks down at his hands, and clenches weak fists "because you didn't need me!" The man looks down at the Third Children, whose eyes have begun to gently fill with tears. "I do now, so I sent for you." he replies. The Third Children grits his teeth in response. "But why me?" "Because it's impossible for anyone else." the man says in a continuously calm tone. "It is for me, too. I've never seen or heard of this thing before! I can't possibly do it!" the Third Child shouts. "Learn how." "That's... That's impossible! There's no way I can pilot this!" The man looks down at the kid, and briefly takes a small breath before responding, "If you're going to pilot it, do it. Otherwise, get out!"Shinji Ikari, the Third Children, and pilot of Evangelion Unit-01 looks up at his father Gendo Ikari, head of NERV. With tears in his eyes and anger in his shaky breaths, he leaves. Gendo turns to his partner, and then to the screen before him and his entire team. An Angel is attacking Tokyo-3 and ravaging through the city. "Fuyutsuki." Gendo starts, "wake up Rei." "Is she viable?" Fuyutsuki responds with an emotionless tone. "She isn't dead." Gendo says, continuing to observe the angel's patterns. "Understood." Fuyutsuki says as he leaves to gather the First Children and pilot of Eva 00, Rei Ayanami.In the beat of a heart, the whole place blares with sirens and flashes with red lights. "C-commander Ikari! This angel is- it's-!" Maya Ibuki, First Lieutenant of NERV's central command stammers in shock, "It's A.T. Field- A.T. Zone-! It-! It's devouring and expanding space rapidly! What we thought was a simple threat for an Eva- it- it's going to destroy our world in minutes!" Ritsuko nudges Maya aside and looks at her screen. Its readings are all over the place. "Is this an execution of the theoretical Dirac sea world we've prepared for the possibility of?" Ritsuko asks Maya intensely. Gendo simply examines the angel. A phone on his desk- a shot which mirrors the one prior in his own private sector- rings once more. "Commander, the angel is warping physical mass," Fuyutsuki starts, "all of our defenses, our layers of protection... they're all useless." Gendo grunts. Obviously, these are not ideal circumstances under any scenario.Maya and Ritsuko type away on the console. "Do you think they're after the Magi?" Maya asks. Ritsuko ignores her. "Oh!" Maya blurts, "The Eva! They have trace amounts of A.T. energy! Do you think-" she doesn't finish, Ritsuko cuts her off loudly, but not rudely, "If the pilot was strong willed enough they'd be able to tap into the Eva's energy, and could counter or eliminate the angel's A.T. Field!" Maya and Ritsuko simultaneously turn to face Gendo. "Commander a, Rei's synchronization levels are low," Ritsuko begins, "would she have the willpower to sync with Eva-01 and pull off this feat we don't even know for sure could happen?" Gendo just stares, silently. "We have no other options." he finally lets out. "Gendo!" Fuyutsuki shouts from the phone, "I am here at Eva-01's cage with Rei and Shinji, he came back, but the angel, it's entered the area of the Eva and has begun warping the area in and around it."Experiencing it firsthand, they all knew this angel did more than just warp space. Objects began falling down from the ceiling of Eva's cage, despite the fact none of the building was actually damaged, and nothing could fall through. "Fuyutsuki." Rei said calmly, no longer nude but now dressed in her pilot suit. "Is this angel a portal?"The angel took the form of a big ball, strobing constantly black and white. The objects falling grew in size and amount as the ball phased through the physical mass around it and approached the Eva's cockpit. A pair of underwear, briefs to be exact, covered in apple prints, falls onto Shinji's face. He picks them off his face and winces. Alongside the underwear comes... a horse-man in a bathrobe? The horse-man lands on his ass inbetween to Ikari and Ayanami. "Shit am I high?" he asks to no one in particular, "I told Todd not to let me do harder drugs than cocaine. Hah. Don't tell anyone I told you that, drug hallucinations. The media thinks I'm four months sober- hey did anyone else notice that fall felt extremely real?" Everyone just stares at him. "Oh shit are you not part of my drug trip? I'm BoJack Horseman, you've probably heard of me. Hey why are you holding my underwear, crazy fan much? Huh why is my stuff all over your... house? Huh do all Japanese people have houses like this? That isn't a racist question right haha I mean I hope it isn't my career can't risk being set back because I made a racist comment except I'm just genuinely curious here, do all Japanese people live like this?" Nobody interrupts him, they all just stare. The angel drops his belongings onto the Eva. "Fuyutsuki, is Rei in the Eva?" Fuyutsuki's phone asks, Gendo on the other side. Hos words spook Shinji, causing him to flinch, and remind Fuyutsuki of the task at hand. "It's obstructed, Commander. The angel... it's as if it's attempting to pilot the Eva for itself." And as he said those words...The Eva began to move.So did BoJack's phone! He was getting a call. Uncaring about the severity of the situation- out of stupidity, or selfishness, or the fact he thinks it's a drug trip- he answers his phone. "What do you want, Todd?" he says. "Uhhh... I'm inside of a pod, and it's wet, and scarily room temperature. I think your entire Horsin' Around DVD collection is in here with me-" "Todd" BoJack butts in, "don't you dare let a single thing happen to those DVDs or so help me Todd." He hangs up the phone and looks back at the children and man. Shinji tries to speak on the subject of Todd being inside of the Eva's cockpit, but can't get any words out considering the fact he's talking to a talking horse guy. Rei remains quiet and observant. Fuyutsuki swallows his curiosity and begins to speak, "If you came from that angel, we have reason to believe Todd is inside the Evangelion, and is somehow managing to pilot it." BoJack stares confused. "The Evangelion? Oh you mean Todd got inside your big Japanese anime toy thing? TODD! Todd get out of their Japaense stuff! Bring my DVDs with you!" he shouts, still unaware of all the happenings being real life. Shinji softly raises a hand to await BoJack's approval to talk. "Shoot, kid." he says to Shinji, winking at him. "Uhm. Is that a costume?" he asks meekly. "Neigh way, Jose. I know it's hard to believe but I am 100% the real BoJack Horseman, all me.""Hello." Gendo says to Todd through a video call happening in the cockpit. "Hi friendo! What can I do you for?" Todd asks with a smile. "Grab the handles in front of you and pull back on them. Once you gain control of the Evangelion, focus your energy into creating an A.T. Field strong enough to hurt the angel which brought you here." Gendo replies, keeping a straight face the whole time, speaking with no fear, but also seemingly no faith. "Okay. That's a lot to take in but I think I got it," Todd says, grabbing ahold of the two handles. The Eva steps forward, out of the angel's area, and turns around to face it. "Am I in a machine or something?" Todd asks the screen with Commander Ikari's face, "Cool, so it's like, one of those mecha fight shows. I'm like Mecha Godzilla in this thing! My name's Todd by the way. What's yours?" Gendo stays silent, maintaining his serious demeanor. "...You're not much of a people's person, are you. That's okay! You'd get along with BoJack. Have you seen him?" he says, observing the angel, the cage, and all the things in the room. He eventually sees BoJack standing next to Shinji, Rei and Fuyutsuki. "Oh! There he is. Hi BoJack!" he exclaims. The Evangelion's hand cheerfully waves alongside his. He then locks his view on the angel. "Hooray! Epic battle time!""E-excuse me, Mr. Horseman-" Shinji starts meekly, though he doesn't get far before BoJack cuts in, "Haha please just call me BoJack." "Okay... BoJack... you aren't an angel, are you?" BoJack looks curious, but follows it up with a laugh. "Angel? Like that big ball of my stuff? No, but most consider my acting pretty heavenly. Just thought of that one on the spot. I mean, I thought it was pretty good, but what do I know I'm just a famous celebrity." Shinji has no idea how to respond to this and decides his best course of action is just to stare at BoJack awkwardly. BoJack scoots towards Shinji slowly and places his hand on Shinji's shoulder. Rei looks up and down at Shinji and BoJack. "So like," BoJack starts, noticing Rei, "do all Japanese people also have colored hair? Again just sorta asking here, no malice."The angel begins to feel a force... an A.T. Field with as much power as its own. To prevent its destruction, it begins to squirm in the air, and breaks off a few small pieces of itself. "Hey! Don't break up when I'm fighting you!" Todd shouts. His Eva extends two arms, attempting to grab the angel and stop its splitting. The force of A.T. from Todd and the Eva is so great, it manages to prevent most of the splitting, and feel the angel in a physical form. "Woah-ho! I grabbed it! Isn't that like it's whole thing? Nothing can touch it? I'm winning!"A smaller version, one of the pieces of the angel, manages to weasel out of Eva-01's grasp. It quickly floats away and phases through the Eva's cage. "Aw dang it!" Todd says, "I let one get away. Oh well, that's not so bad."The angel floats into the central area of NERV, where First Lieutenant Maya Ibuki, Head Scientist Ritsuko Akagi, and Captain Misato Katsuragi all inspect and keep tabs on the angel through NERV's and the Evangelion's cameras. Makoto Hyuga and Shigeru Aoba, the other First Lieutenants, stay also keeping tabs on the angel. "Ritsuko-senpai! The angel! It's splitting!" Maya squeals, eyes wide at the computer screen before her, watching as the A.T. energy is transferred almost entirely to the extremely small, newly formed tiny angel. The three stare entranced as they witness Todd in Eva-01 crush the angel between the Eva's hands. "That man... he was able to defeat an angel that doesn't even have a physical form..." Misato says beneath her breath, almost ashamed to say aloud, for whatever reason."Captain Katsuragi! T-the angel!" Shigeru shouts from his station up at Misato's, "It's entered our sector! Look out!"The angel continues to spew BoJack's stuff left and right, dropping towels, piles of empty beer bottles, DVDs, dirty clothes, among other stuff. It slowly approaches Misato, Ritsuko and Maya. They look up, Misato drawing a small handgun hidden away in her jacket. A soft echoing voice can be heard from within the angel... "Oh BoJack! I noticed you weren't answering your calls, so I came here to check on you myself!"Confused, scared, and bracing for impact with the A.T. Portal of the angel, they all cover their faces, and Maya sinks herself into Ritsuko, holding onto her tightly.The angel consumes them, flies upward, and leaves behind a parting gift. A yellow dog-person, fitted with a huge smile and chiseled body, sporting a grey v-neck, stylish shoes, and not-too-skinny jeans. He looks around, at the computer displaying the Eva, and finally at Makoto and Shigeru. "Hi! Is this a bad time to ask where I am?" ...No response. His voice echoes through the location as the sirens slowly stop blaring. Gendo looks down at the strange man from atop his far up station. He looks back at the camera, and sees the robot lift its hand to the cockpit, and open it up. Out comes... Todd!? "Oh, oh! I know this guy! Hey guys! I know that guy! That's Todd! We have a business together!" he shouts, wagging his tail and pointing excitedly. The small angel flies upward, out of the central station and through the countless layers protecting the underground NERV from the overworld of Tokyo-3 and angel attacks. Once back on the surface, the small angel looks around."Ikari, sir, the subject has exited from the Evangelion." Fuyutsuki says through the phone, standing before Todd, who immediately upon exiting entered in conversation with BoJack. "I know." Gendo responds. "But the angel, a bit of it survived, and it's back on the surface of Tokyo-3." Fuyutsuki continues concerned, but keeping his demeanor calm, "Only Todd has the capability of creating an A.T. Field of his own inside the Eva. Shinji and Rei are essentially useless in this fight." There is a short silence. "Is the subject refusing to enter the Evangelion once more?" Gendo says. "We have no information on him, no files of him exist in our database. We are in the process of requesting a file check through our partners but that will take up to a few days. What if he can't be trusted?" Fuyutsuki replies. Gendo exhales, "The angel has intent to get in the way of our plans. Destroy it." he says. "Yes commander." Fuyutsuki says, right before Gendo hangs up the phone."Todd Chavez, will you reenter the Evangelion and defeat the angel on the surface of Tokyo-3?" Fuyutsuki asks with a serious face. "Uhhh, look, I don't know, it kinda seems like a lot of work." Todd replies. "Todd you are the only person who can work this thing properly. You will be the pilot of Evangelion Unit-01." Fuyutsuki says, staring right at Todd, his tone relatively unmoving. Todd thinks for a moment. "I'm not that interested in labels right now either... but without me this town is toast, right? I guess if it's for the greater good, I'll do it!"Todd reenters the Evangelion, and it is launched to the surface."You made the right choice, Todd." Fuyutsuki tells him through the Eva's screen. The Eva stands strong, and readies its gun. "If you are willed enough," Fuyutsuki starts up again, "and we are correct. You should be able to transfer your A.T. Field energy into your weapon's bullets, eliminating the angel with a single hit."Todd examines the angel closely. "Awww it's like, a little version of the big one! This is the thing that's gonna destroy all of the city? I'll believe it when I see it!" he says with a playful scoff, though as he says that, the angel's shape contorts into a melty ball of spikes. Still incorporeal, the ball falls down into the vast buildings below, swoops through them, and comes out up under the Evangelion. It trips the Eva, causing it to lose its balance! Todd shouts, before extending his arms backwards to catch the Eva. "Oh no! This guy is like, real when he attacks me, but not real when he needs to be fast! What a fiendish foe!" Todd says, regaining his Eva's balance. He turns, facing the angel behind him, and draws his gun. As he prepares to fire, the angel starts growing its A.T Field. "I gotta shoot through that thing!?"Bam! Bam! Todd shoots two shots, and they push against the angel's A.T. Field! The force almost snaps through it, but not quite. "Humbug! I need to focus more energy in my shots!" Todd exclaims to himself. The angel prepares an attack, and the Evangelion gets into a defensive stance. The angel charges the Eva at full strength and speed, and the Eva jumps far into the air, severing the umbilical cord coming from within NERV, which gives it power. With only a few minutes left of power, Todd spins the Eva in the air and fires two more bullets using all his energy. The bullets bounce right off the A.T. Field! The angel realizes it missed, and looks up at the Eva. The Eva and angel make eye contact, and the Eva begins to rush spiraling downward. Todd, with one of the Eva's hands, grabs the A.T. Field, and begins to split it open with all his force. With the other, he fires one last bullet to the now exposed angel. "I hope I can get out of here soon," he startsc as the bullet of pure A.T. energy shoots into the angel, "its fun, but I don't wanna deal with an angel attack every day. Also! I left a Hot Pocket in the microwave at BoJack's house!"The angel is defeated."Woohoo!" Todd shouts in joy as his Evangelion begins to power down. "Uhhh, guys" he says into the camera where Fuyutsuki watched him from, "how do I get out of here? This things pretty high up off the ground."...Todd and BoJack are escorted to their apartment complex. It's immediately next to Misato and Shinji's. Shinji enters his room, no Misato in sight. He walks up to his bed and looks down. "Katsuragi-san..." he says through heavy breaths. His voice is shaky. Hair covers his eyes...BoJack taps him on the shoulder, "Hey man I know this is probably a tough time for you but you were supposed to escort me to my room not go to yours and cry. And why can't Todd get his own building? I don't want him keeping his shit all over my house." Todd perks up and introjects, "Oh! Aren't Japanese people like, super minimalist? Maybe I could embrace the lifestyle and only live with what I really need!"... To Be Continued...
Back in the 90's
I was in a very famous TV show
I'm BoJack the horse (BoJack)
BoJack the horse, don't act like you don't know
And I'm trying to hold on to my past
It's been so long, I don't think I'm gonna last
I guess I'm just tryin' make you understand
That I'm more horse than a man
Or I'm more man than a horse
BoJack