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February 15, 1988 8:26Quickly sliding past groups of students loitering in the hallways, I finally make my way to the restroom. I had to keep a low profile until I could wash my face and fix my hair. Damn my demon of a Mother making me cry before school…
“You fucking asshole!” My mother screams, throwing her glass of water in my direction. My eyes widen as I sidestep, the glass shattering into a million pieces as it slams into the wall behind me. “What is this supposed to mean!? You sly piece of shit, you didn’t want me to read this, that's why you hid it these past few months, huh?!”
In her other hand was my class's anthology. I knew exactly what she was talking about. In mine… I didn’t exactly talk fondly about my life. It was more on the depressive side, I admit.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry won’t cut it!” She roughly grabs my shoulder, squeezing it as she angrily glares into my eyes. I look back to her with an empty expression. “What am I supposed to tell your teacher if he asks me about this!? You can’t be depressed, you’re ten! Ten! How would people react to me if my kid acts like a depressive little shit?! Oh my god… I think I’m going to cry.”
“I’m sorry.” I repeat.
“Get out of my sight! Oh my god!” She ‘sobs’ with her head in her hands.
I simply nod, maneuver past her sobbing form, and finish getting ready for school.
Liar.
Inspecting my reflection in the bathroom mirror, my eyes were really, really puffy. I refuse to cry in front of Mother, so I got it all out while walking to school. I purse my lips and splash the water on my face, quickly wiping it off, and making sure my hair is perfect. I cock my head to the side.
‘This will do, I guess…’
I turn to exit the bathroom, sighing. I can’t believe my fucking mother went through my room. It’s like she was looking for something to get mad at.Walking out of the bathroom, I instantly ran into another student. “Jeez! Watch where you’re going!-”“I’m sorry!” He yells, bows, and quickly runs off, ruffling his blue hair back into shape.
‘What the hell?’
I follow him as he runs off. He’s in my class… What was his name again? Fukushima? Fujimoto? I can’t remember. He sits near me, that's all I recall. Watching him hurriedly slide open our classes door, I furrow my brows. Weirdo.Speeding up, I make it class and push past Fujimoto as he stands in the doorway. I walk to my seat and sit in my seat, placing my backpack on the back of the chair as I do so.The teacher, Mr Yashiro, comes in just as the bell rings. “Good morning, everyone!”A chorus of “Good morning, teacher!” echoes after. I simply mouth the same thing, I don’t like to do that. Mr Yashiro walks to his lectern and prepares to take attendance when the boy in the doorway catches his attention.“What’s wrong, Satoru?” He smiles. “Go ahead and take your seat.”Ughh… He’s creepy… I wish I had a different teacher.Fujimoto confusingly takes Hinazuki Kayo’s seat.“Are you still asleep, Fujinuma?” Hinazuki’s seatmate asks. “That’s Hinazuki’s seat.”Oh. Fujinuma. I was close. Whatever. I look out the window as Fujinuma takes his correct seat. I’ve always loved winter, it feels so much calmer than the warmer seasons. The cold weather and snow makes it more fun to hang out at the park too, since it’s usually empty. Well, except for Hinazuki. She sits on the swings with me sometimes.“Alright class, time for roll call!” Yashiro calls out. “Asano?”“Here!”“Arakawa?”“Here!”Yashiro pauses and glances up at me. “Akizakura?”“Here.” I reply, laying my head down on my desk, his eyes still burning into me. Break rolls around, and I pull a book out of my bag. Unlike the other kids, I didn’t have a friend group, let alone any close friends. Sure, I was acquainted with people… But I’ve never hung out with anyone out of school. So I read. I don’t particularly care for anything I read, but my parents basically forbid all hobbies that don’t make me look like a genius.Hell, I’m not even allowed to draw or doodle drawings at home. They say art is a waste of time and not a reliable job. I actually enjoy doodling, though, so I do it at school when I feel like it.“Satoru? What’s up?” The boy behind me, Kenya Kobayashi, asks.So he noticed he’s acting weird, too? He’s just really awkward today. Usually he isn’t this noticeable.I turn around and join in on their conversation. “I wanted to ask that too, you were acting weird this morning… You know; when you ran into me all panicked like.”Fujinuma turns to me. “Umm… Yeah, sorry about that. Weird morning!”Kobayashi raises an eyebrow.“My head kinda hurts, so I’m going to the nurse!” He awkwardly smiles, picking up his backpack.“Do you have to take your backpack with you?” Kobayashi questions, pointing to his bag. “Well… Whatever. I’ll tell that to the teacher.”Fujinuma nods and sprints out of the classroom. Kobayashi and I share a confused glance and I just shrug, turning back to my book.“What are you reading?” Kobayashi asks, suddenly taking the seat next to me.“Uhh, I don’t know if you know who this is. He’s a foreign writer.”“I read a wide variety of books, I probably do.” He smiles.“Oh, okay. I’m reading Stephen King’s The Body, have you heard of it?” I tilt my head questionably.His eyes widened slightly. “Stephen King?! Aren’t his works inappropriate?”“Yeah. Some of them.”“How do your parents let you read that?”“They don’t really care what I read,” I shrug. “as long as it makes me look smarter.”“...I see.” He replies, leaning over me and glancing out the window. “There goes Satoru. I wonder where he’s going. It was obvious he wasn’t going to the nurse. Mr Yashiro doesn’t need to know that though; I guess.”I scoot away with him and look to my left as well, seeing Fujinuma sprint out of the school gates. “Interesting…”Mr Yashiro comes back into class, clapping his hands to get our attention. “Alright, everyone! Back to our seats!”“Thanks for talking with me, Kobayashi.” I smile.He turns back to me, nodding. “Of course, Akizakura.”
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 16th, 1988 8:12A chorus of greetings filled the air as I stepped onto Mikoto Elementary’s campus. Looking up at the towering building, I exhaled. It had snowed the night before, and the school looked absolutely beautiful this way.“Good morning, Satoru!”I snap out of my trance and look up ahead.
‘Looks like Fujinuma is okay. I don’t even really know him, and he worried me yesterday. Should I say hi? Hmm… Might as well.’
“Hi, Fujinuma.” I wave as I walk past.“Hey…” He returns the greeting, softly waving and instantly entering a trance. Following his gaze, my eyes land on nobody other than Hinazuki Kayo.I gently smile at him. She’s adorable! Good for him! Fujinuma and Hinazuki would be cute together. Although… I don't believe he’s ever even interacted with her before, how do you have a crush on someone you know nothing about? Whatever, I don’t care. Mr Yashiro was explaining some nonsense about isosceles, equilateral, and scalene triangles. I understand the work, but why should I have to prove it’s a triangle? Look at it! I don't know about others, but me personally, I can tell it’s a triangle because it is one! Three sides and it’s “triangle” shaped! We don’t need a whole lesson on this… Fuck, man!It’s not even just the fact that we have to use all these angles and equations to prove it… He’s just so slow! I should be a teacher, I would explain this all so much faster than Mr “Slowpoke” Yashiro… Stupid teacher. Stupid triangles.The bell shakes me out of my angry internal rant.“Ah, it’s recess already?” He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, the other occupied by our textbook. “We’ll pick this up after recess and I’ll assign your homework.”The class collectively groans, myself included. Like I already said, I get the work, I would just rather do anything but my homework. Whatever, my Mother would force me to anyways, no use in complaining. All the students leave their seats to hang out with their friends, and I simply pull a piece of paper out of my notebook to doodle on.I sit there doodling for a few minutes, copying the pretty snowy landscape outside. Winter is the best, sure, walking through snow makes me irrationally angry, but I mellow out when I admire how everything looks so pretty. For some reason, everything looks better when decorated with snow.I continued doodling, and I must’ve lost track of how hard I was pressing down because the bottom of my pencil snapped off.“Damnit.” I grumble, searching my bag for another pencil. Do I seriously not have another pencil?I entirely empty the contents of my backpack on my desk; and lo and behold, no pencil.
‘What the hell??’
I flinch as a hand is suddenly put on my shoulder. Snapping my head around, I’m met with the face of Fujinuma Satoru.“I see you’ve got a… very big mess here, what are you looking for? I can help you.” He reassuringly asks. He’s got a very mature aura about him, it’s oddly comforting.His friends start whispering to each other, making me feel instantly embarrassed. Is this some poorly planned prank?“Ummm…” My eyes darted between Fujinuma and his friends. Kobayashi meets my gaze and gives me a thumbs up. He must know I’m sorta uncomfortable, what a perceptive guy. “Yeah, you can… Do you have a pencil I can borrow? I was drawing and mine just broke. Like- Not just the lead, but the whole bottom sorta snapped off. I don’t get to draw much and it would be cool if you can lend me one. I promise I’ll give it back. This sorta thing never happens. I could've sworn I had more- And I’m talking too much.”I put my face in my hands.
‘WHY???????’
His comforting and mature aura doesn’t falter as he goes to his desk and grabs a pencil. When he shuffles back, he holds the pencil up to me. “Here! I hope you’re okay with it being slightly used. You can keep it.”“O-Of course I am! Thank you, Fujinuma!” I grab it and flash him a smile.“Yeah.” He nods and starts to head back to his friends.I shove all the stuff I dumped out of my bag back into my bag and continue to doodle. What a nice guy. Why haven’t I tried interacting with him before?“Okay, everyone!” Mr Yashiro walks back into the room, gathering our attention. “The bell is about to ring so head to your seats! We’re almost done talking about the isosceles triangle; then we’ll go over scalene triangles and I’ll give you your homework!”
‘Oh my god I forgot all about the fucking triangles.’
Class was coming to a close and I was ready to go hang out at the park. Playing on the swings is always fun, and I think it’ll stay fun even when I get older. I had finished the assignment pretty fast, so I was sorta just staring out the window.“Hey Chiaki!” Mr Yashiro kneels next to my desk. “How was the lesson? Did you understand everything?”“Yeah.”“How was the homework?”“Fine.”“Do you need help? I’ll be here after school for a while, so you can stay and I can help you.” He smiles, patting my shoulder.“No.” I replied, very disinterested.“Alright… So did you finish the homework?”I slide the work towards him. “Mhm.”He glances over the worksheet, seeing all the correct answers. I’m not a genius or anything, but school has always been easy since I’m a pretty fast learner. I struggle sometimes, but I usually have to hide it from my parents, so I would use textbooks on my own to figure out how to do it. I’d say I’m only “smart” because I had to adapt to survive my household by being smart. Not because I’m like Einstein or anything.“Alright, then!” He glances at me and back to my work as he gets up and finds another student to harass. “Samansa, are you doing alright on your homework?”“WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!” Karugane grumbles, ripping the worksheet in half and throwing it out the window.
‘Oh wow.’
Karugane Samansa sat in the row next to mine, so I always heard when she was having a hard time on the homework (i.e. angrily mumbling and scratching out the questions with her pencil). We aren’t super close, let alone do we hang out, but I consider her my friend.She has a bit of a reputation as Mikoto’s “School Devil” but I think that title is stupid. I’m fairly certain the people she’s acted like a devil to deserved it, because she’s nothing but kind to me. It’s no mystery she’s a very angry person, though. Even as her friend, I can’t deny that.She’s like my parents in that way, they’re very angry too. Difference is Karugane doesn’t blindly take it out on me, and if she does, she’s very apologetic about it. That doesn’t usually happen though. She deserves better.Running my hand through my hair and looking at the clock, I see it’s a minute before we leave, 14:59. I just wanna go to the park already… I can hang out there for like an hour, go to the library for a bit, and then go home. Mother is fortunately over the class anthology thing for now, so going home isn’t as daunting, but I know the second I breathe too loud she’ll bring it back up and start crying. I hate being in the same house as my parents. If being manipulative jerks could be personified, it would manifest in those two.The bell rings, and students begin to pour out of the classroom.Mr Yashiro approaches me and Karugane. Uh oh, what does he want now? “Hey Chiaki, Samansa?”“What now?” I replied. I don’t know why he can’t just harass his fanclub and he has to harass me, the one who hates him. Karugane looks at him with a confused expression.“Samansa doesn’t really understand the content of this unit, or any math unit for that matter…” He mumbles that last part, but Karugane and I definitely heard that.“Hey, what the hell!” She yells. “I’ve understood at least one math unit!”Mr Yashiro sweat drops. “I… I don’t think you have.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “But that’s besides the point! You don’t understand this unit and Chiaki does! Which is why I want to ask a favor of you, Chiaki.”
‘Oh dear.’
“I’m very busy after school, you see.” He continues, ignoring Karugane glaring daggers into his face. If looks could kill… “So I was hoping you could tutor Samansa here!”“Umm…” I hesitate, looking towards Karugane and back at Mr Yashiro. I mean, Karugane and I are kinda friends and I think it would be ‘nice’ of me, but she’s so bad at math… Mr Yashiro is a good teacher, even though I hate him as a person I can acknowledge that. So if he can’t teach her how can I? “So, uh… How often would I need to if I said yeah?”Mr Yashiro takes a second to think. “Whenever it works for you two. At least once a week, just let me know, alright?”“That’s not as bad as I thought, actually.” Karugane mumbles.She’s right… She’s been nothing but kind to me, maybe I should. Besides, she’s really good at science and the like, maybe she could help me out as well.Well… I guess I will. “I guess I can.”“Great!” Mr Yashiro winks and ruffles my hair, and I slap his hand away in response.“Do I get anything in return?” I question, fixing my hair with my hands.He smiles. “Anything within reason. Like a ride home; if you need me to buy you a snack, drink… Stuff like that.”“I see.”Karugane perks up. “Do I get anything in return too?”“Better test scores, hopefully.” He replies, patting her shoulder as she angrily glares at him.She grumbles a few obscenities before grabbing her backpack off her desk and grabbing my hand, dragging me out of the class.“Bye, girls!” Mr Yashiro yells, smiling and waving us off. I wave with my free hand as Karugane yells “See ya!” in response. We were in the library now, not reading, but gathered at a table in the corner, textbooks and notes sprawled across the table. Don’t let that description fool you, though, Karugane isn't learning shit. Instead, she was rambling about science experiments she wanted to do.“Can you believe it, Chiaki?” She groans. I didn’t know we were on a first name basis, she must think we’re closer than I thought. “I was talking to Mr Yashiro about it and he said no! He said that elementary schoolers don’t do those experiments and that I have to wait until high school!”“Oh wow.” I replied. She is a very bad storyteller, that one story had at least six sub-stories in it. But I paid attention to all of it. “I wonder why we have boring science experiments, some of us are 11, is that not old enough for something more fun than mixing colored water?”“That’s what I’m saying!” She yells, causing the librarian to loudly ‘Shhh!’ us. “There’s nobody else in here, don’t ‘Shhh!’ me!”I look around. She’s right, nobody else was here.“I wonder where everyone is…” I ponder out loud, using the pencil Fujinuma gave me to doodle on a paper.Samansa perks up. “Maybe it’s because of what’s going on in the next town.”“What’s happening in the next town?” I inquire.“You haven’t heard?” She tilts her head. “A few girls in the next town over were murdered- well, found, I guess, like a few weeks ago.”My eyes go wide. “What?”“It was all over the news, how did you not hear about it?!”“I’m not allowed to watch television.” I reply, setting my pencil down. “So what happened?”“Well, like 3 girls were found in the next town over, right?” She starts, popping a stick of gum in her mouth. “Kidnapped then murdered. All evidence super clearly points to this one guy, and you know what he’s saying, even though there’s very obvious evidence it was him?” She pauses and looks at me. I make a motion with my hands telling her to continue. She nods and continues. “Well, despite that he is apparently adamant it’s not him.”I take a stick of gum from her pack. “Aren’t they all?”She rolls her eyes in response. “Well, most? Yeah, at some point. But even the most stubborn of murderers usually confess at some point. Especially when it’s so ‘obvious’ it’s them. Wanna know what I think?”“Yeah?”“I think he’s innocent.” She grins. “It’s all too convenient, you know?”I think for a second, I can see where she’s coming from. “I suppose if it’s that glaringly obvious he’s guilty, I can see why someone might think it’s like… A setup or something.”Samansa slaps the table. “Exactly!”The librarian just sighs.“You know, when we first started this tutoring session, I completely forgot you’re actually really smart.” I laugh as she bonks my head with a textbook. “Hey!”“See, I’m an academic weapon.” She pauses. “Well, I'm using academics as a literal weapon.”I glance at the clock over the door. We’ve been here for three hours.“It’s almost 18:00… We should probably go home.” I sigh, stuffing my books and notes back into my backpack, crumpling up my doodles and tossing them into the nearby trash can.“You know…” Samansa starts, putting her own books back in her bag. “Why don’t you keep any of your drawings? Even in class, I see you always throw them away.”“Parents don’t like that I like to draw.” I sigh.“So you can’t even keep them?”“Well, my Mother likes to go through my shit, so I try to keep everything spotless of anything she doesn’t like.”“Rough shit…” She mumbles.“Your father, he’s a detective, right?” I ask, pushing open the library door. “Oof, it’s dark.”Samansa runs in front of me. “No kidding, we were in there forever!” She plops onto some metal safety bars and slides down it as I walk down the steps. “But, yeah. He is. Why?” She replies, hopping off the rail as we reach the bottom.“What does he think? Of that case in the next town over, I mean.”“Oh, I see! He doesn’t really like to discuss cases with me in detail…” She purses her lips. “But I had asked his opinion, and he agreed with me. He thinks it’s real weird how obvious it is. Y’know? And I trust his word.”“Yeah.”We walked down the street, snow was lightly falling, and the streetlights illuminated the falling snow so perfectly. I glanced at Samansa, who was silently staring at the snowy scenery. She looked really pretty, too. The way the snow fell on her ushanka was artistic in a way. I watched how stoic she looked, even though we were just giggling in the library for like- three hours.Samansa looks back at me and catches me staring, her face quickly getting red and looking away.“Sorry!” I exclaim, also looking away. “You’re very pretty, I couldn’t help it!”“Smoothtalker! Jeez!” She presses her palm to her forehead.“It’s true!”“Stop it!” She laughs, playfully punching my shoulder.I grin in response. “Should we, you know, hang out more?”“Whaddya mean?”“Like, during recess, lunch, outside of school?” I replied. “We’re friends, but we never really hang out. Hell, until today I had no clue we were on a first name basis!”She furrows her brows. “You didn’t?”I put my hands up in defense. “To be fair, I call nobody by their first names! It’s not something I’m used to! I really do consider you my friend though! It’s just we never hung out outside of school before and”“Don’t worry about it.” She cuts me off, playfully rolling her eyes. “It’s alright for you to call me Samansa, and I take it you’re alright with me calling you Chiaki, right?”I nod.“Then it’s settled!” She stops in front of me. “We’re on a first name basis and we’re best friends! What do you say, Chiaki?”
‘Oh wow.’
I extend my hand for her to shake. “Yeah, Samansa. That’s alright.”She shakes my hand very aggressively in response with a grin, and speedwalks ahead.As we walked to our respective houses, laughing and joking, I can’t help but feel like something is wrong. I must’ve been very obvious, because Samansa stops instantly.“Are you okay?”“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.” I replied, fanning my hand at her. “Just anxious, I guess. Because of the murders in the other city.”“I get that.” She reassuringly squeezes my shoulder. “We’re alright, I really doubt the killer would come here. I may be wrong, but I firmly believe the killer lives over there. If they really did frame that guy that perfectly, they would have to be real familiar with that prefecture and its inhabitants, you know?.”I untense. She has a good point. “Yeah, fair enough.”We stopped in front of her house. She walks to the door as she pulls out a key. “This is my stop, I’ll see you at school!”I smile and wave. “Bye, Samansa!”My house wasn’t much farther, just a few streets away. Given how close my house was and how reassuring Samansa was about how the killer likely isn’t in this city, you would think I would be more comfortable. You would think I would feel better. I thought her explanation was perfect. It is. But… Why do I feel like I’m being followed?I glance behind me. Nobody. Am I really that anxious? I just learned about the murders today, and they happened a few weeks ago. It would make no sense for them to suddenly affect me, and yet.. I can’t get rid of that feeling. It has to just be anxiety.I stop walking for a moment to catch my breath. No harm in treating this as if there is someone behind me. I tighten the straps of my bag and sprint to my house. Every step was teeming with purpose as I made my way home.‘Better safe than sorry.’ I repeated to myself until I finally reached the gate of my house.Once I got in the gate, it’s like a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders. I fix my hair and outfit to look more presentable as I shut the gate and approach the door. Unlocking it, I glance behind me. Still, nobody was there. Guess I was okay. I shut the door behind me as I take off my boots and set them on the shelf.“I’m home!” I yell to Mother and Father.“Dinner is almost done!” Mother yells back. “Why are you so late?”Of course she asks about that before asking me how my day was. “I’m tutoring another student at Mr Yashiro’s request. He was very happy about me taking the offer.”“Oh, wonderful!” She smiles. “I’m so happy you’re helping him!”
‘Yeah, because me looking like an angel makes YOU look like an angel for raising me.’ I internally roll my eyes.
As I sit at the table and converse with Mother, I’m unaware my hunch was right, and a pair of piercing red eyes stare daggers into me from the front gate and through the front window.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 21, 1988 11:23Apparently, the boys are having 1-on-1 races in gym today. Thank goodness the girls don’t have to, because I have no clue how to ice skate, let alone rollerblade or rollerskate. I had a glance at the list of who was racing who, and poor Fujinuma is going against Hamada. ‘How is that fair…?’ I thought. Hamada is a member of the Ice Hockey team, they won the championships for crying out loud. And they put him up against Fujinuma? What is this, 1945? Okay, that was a bad taste in metaphors, moving on. “Chiaki!” Samansa waves, running towards me. “Hi.” I replied, giving her a smile. “You see they put Hamada against Fujinuma?” “Yeah…” I sigh. “It’s gonna be a slaughter.” “Probably!” She smirks and leans on the barricade. “It would be nice if Fujinuma taught him a lesson, though. Hamada is a DICK.” Hamada looks at us and flips Samansa off. “Well fuck you too, then!”She flips the boy off with both hands as Mr Yashiro approaches us. “Now, now… Samansa, Hamada? Stop it.” He swats their hands. “Hey!” Samansa growls. “He started it!” I sweatdrop. ‘He didn’t, but Hamada is a dick, so I’ll turn a blind eye this time.’“I can’t tell who started it when it’s between you two…” He sighs. “So, how did tutoring go yesterday?”“It was good,” Samansa grins. “I’m an academic weapon now.” Good? I don’t recall her learning anything. If anything, I was the one learning. Whatever. I rolled my eyes at her last comment. “Yeah, against me specifically.” She gets close to my face and pokes my cheek. “I’ll do it again next time we study.” “I see…” He slowly nods. “Remember, Chiaki; I’ll help you out with anything in return, alright?”I remember what he offered the first time. ‘Anything within reason. Like a ride home; if you need me to buy you a snack, drink… Stuff like that.’ Yeah, no way am I accepting a ride from this guy, let alone food, who knows what he would put in it. I hate adults.“Yeaaah.” I give him a hopefully genuine looking smile. “I’ll let you know if I do need anything. I probably won’t, though.”“Alright.” His smiling expression falters for a moment before returning to normal. “Well, let’s start the races, kids!” I walked over to Fujinuma, Samansa trailing behind me. “Good luck, Fujinuma.” “Yeah! Kick Hamada’s ass.” Samansa adds, whispering the last part.“Let’s start!” Mr Yashiro interrupts. “Ready… Set… Go!”Mr Yashiro blows into his whistle, prompting the two boys to take off at an amazing speed. The ice turns into shavings behind them as the students on the sidelines loudly cheer. Somehow, Fujinuma managed to get a decent gap between him and Hamada… He might actually win.“Go Satoru!!”“Yeaahhh! Go Fujinuma!”“Hamada, what are you doing?!”“Turn the tables, Hamada!”“You’ve got this, Satoru!”“Was that a false start?!”Fujinuma was mere meters from winning, when he suddenly slowed down, giving Hamada a chance to push himself to the finish.“Goalll!” Yanagihara yells, clapping. “I knew Hamada would pull through!” “But Satoru was so amazing!” One of Fujinuma’s friends exclaims. “I didn’t think it would be so close!” Another friend of his gushed. “Right, Kenya?!” I should congratulate Fujinuma, he almost won against a member of the ice hockey team. That’s quite the feat… “Hey, Fujinuma!” I wave as I walk towards him. He was winded and trying to catch his breath. That probably took a lot out of him. “Good job, you did so-” Hamada shows up to Fujinuma with an angry look on his face. ‘Uh oh…’He quickly grabs the collar of Fujinuma’s jacket, pulling him up to be eye level with him. Fujinuma was on his tiptoes as Hamada angrily spat something at him. Just as quickly as he grabbed him, though, he was back on his own two feet. “Oh my god, are you okay?!” I yelled, rushing over. “What’s his deal?!” “Satoru!” His friend yells, running over. “What was that!?”“He’s acting like he lost!” Another friend of his commented. “Do I need to punch him?!”“No…” Fujinuma gasped. “Don’t.”“Fujinuma, are you okay?” I gently question, placing my hand on his shoulder. He stood hunched over for a while, breathing really heavily. He must’ve been chock-full of adrenaline when Hamada grabbed him, I doubt that short race would’ve knocked the wind out of him like this. His friends had joined me in just sitting in silence with him, but not before acquainting themselves with me first. They even insisted I use their first names, I didn’t know I was that trustworthy. Even though I’ve never had many friends, for years I’ve been told I’m a comforting presence by my classmates. So, I sat with Fujinuma in silence while he pondered for a while. Besides, this is my way of repaying him for giving me that pencil.“So…” I start, wanting to break the silence. “What was Hamada’s problem?”“He’s a dick that’s what.” He replies in a monotonous tone. His eyes go wide quickly, realizing his mistake. ‘He meant to keep that inside, I bet.’ I thought, flashing a smile. “I dunno what his problem is.” Fujinuma mutters, rolling his eyes. Kazu groans. “You should’ve let me punch him!”“Mr Yashiro only seems to tolerate violence from Samansa and Hamada, I don’t know if you could get off as scot-free as they do…” I reply.“Fair.”We all chatted for a few minutes, about no one thing in particular. Their friend group is so diverse… They hardly have so many interests in so many different things. “Chiaki, do you like Dragon Quest?” Osamu asks, snapping me out of my short trance. I rub my neck. “Huh, no… I don’t know what that is, sorry.” “Why bother asking her, you know girls don’t play games, dude-” Kazu starts, quickly noting my angry glare burning into his face. “Not that all don’t! Just… Most don’t!” “I don’t.” I sigh. “My parents don’t let me.” “Your parents are weird.” Kenya comments out of the blue. “Huh?” I raise my eyebrows at his bluntness. “You told me they don’t care what you read if it makes you look smarter, they don’t let you play video games… I even heard that you aren’t allowed to draw.” He finishes. My face turns red. Samansa you gossipy bastard! “Don’t be mad at Samansa, I asked her myself earlier.”“I’m not.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “My parents are just strict, that’s all.” Fujinuma looks up at me. “Strict parents don’t let you go out past a certain time, enforce a bedtime, or let your grades fall below an ‘A’... They don’t police your hobbies.” I raise a brow. “Your guy's parents don’t tell you what hobbies you can’t have?” A unanimous answer of ‘no’ is the response from the boys. “You’re just realizing that’s not normal?” Fujinuma asks. “Well, I know Samansa thought it was weird, but I thought she was a special case since her parents regularly don’t care what she does..” I mutter, embarrassed. “We’ve both got messed up perceptions of normal, I guess.”Fujinuma goes deep into thought as his friends question me about this and that, asking mostly about personal stuff. “You know… Kenya?” I ask, eager not to be interrogated further by the boys.“Huh?” He tilts his head.“Why did you ask Samansa about me?” Hiromi, Kazu, and Osamu get very rowdy, very quick. “Yeah, Kenya! Why?” Osamu asks, smiling.“First Satoru and now Kenya! How cute!!” Hiromi exclaims, clasping his hands together.“What’s the story, dude?!” Kazu yells, slinging an arm across Kenya’s shoulders.Kenya’s face gets red, but he tries to compose himself. “Am I not allowed to notice weird things and want to know more?” He mutters.“You want to know more about Chiaki?! That’s adorable!” Hiromi adds, much to my dismay. “I’m a weird thing…??” I sweatdrop.“Come on, guys…” Fujinuma smiles. “We can embarrass Kenya when Chiaki isn’t here getting embarrassed too.” I exhale in relief. “Exactly! Thank you, Fujinuma.”He stands up. “You can call me Satoru, you know. Fujinuma sounds too formal.”There’s a lot of first names I have to remember all of a sudden. “Alright… Satoru. Well, I’m going to go now. Bye, guys.” The boys continue to snicker at Kenya’s expense as I walk away. The school day finally ends as the bell chimes. As much as I would love to go, Mr Yashiro is holding me back. He said he’s ‘worried for my home life’ but I see absolutely no reason to tell him anything. My mother doesn’t physically abuse me often enough for there to be anything solid for CPS to work with. Why is he so obsessed with me all of a sudden?“Listen, Chiaki…” He starts, sitting in front of me with his face resting on his hands. “There’s something wrong at home, isn’t there? I feel like if your home life was good you wouldn’t be like this. I’m your teacher, you can tell me anything.” ‘Wow, so he’s just saying it outright.’ I thought to myself. “If there was something… Wrong, as you say, what could even be done? There’s nothing anyone can do when it comes to me.” I replied.His eyes widened at my blunt response. He thought for a minute to formulate a response, and kept coming up with nothing. I get up, sling my backpack over my shoulder, and slide my chair back under my desk. “Mr Yashiro?” He perks up. “Yes, Chiaki?” “If you really want to ‘help’ me… Stay out of it. Leave me alone.” Slamming the door behind me, I exit the classroom. Sure, I could’ve been nicer shutting him down, but he’s probably got ulterior motives just like my demon parents do. I’m saving myself. As I’m lost in thought, Fujinuma runs past me, not even acknowledging me as he passes me.‘At least he didn’t run into me this time…?’Whatever. I wanna go to the park. The best part about being a kid is you can hang out at the playground for hours on end. I’ve been here for almost 4 hours, since I shut Mr Yashiro down at school. My parents are too ‘perfect’, they have perfect reputations, and rarely physically abuse me, opting for lots of in my face screaming. Physical abuse is reserved for when I fuck up big time. And a damn good example of a big time fuck up is getting a welfare check up at my house.Shit… Mr Yashiro is going to ruin everything if he tries snooping in my life. My mother would actually kill me if he calls asking about my well being at home. My life would be over. “God damnit!” I yell, picking up my backpack and throwing it. The contents spill out everywhere as I begin to hyperventilate. “Fuck!”I kick the slide on the playground until I make a fairly large dent. But I still feel horrible. I collapse onto the snow; and and a fit of rage, I repeatedly start slamming my fists on the ground and crying. I can see the snow begin to turn red around where I keep punching. My vision starts to blur as I begin to feel very sick.No way… Mr Yashiro’s bullshit sent me into a panic attack. The hyperventilation does nothing but get worse; I feel like I can’t breathe.As panicked footsteps rush towards me, I try to look up at them. “Chiaki!!” ‘My eyes are too blurry… Who is that?’As they drop to their knees in front of me, I can finally make them out.“Satoru…?” “What happened?!” He panted, physically examining me.“The fuck… Are you doing…” I mutter, still feeling sick and fighting the urge to pass out. I haven’t had a panic attack like this in a while. Usually I just punch shit and cry, I only almost pass out when it’s THAT bad.“Why are you hurt, Chiaki?! Who hurt you?!” He yells.“Nobody…” I reply, slumping forward. “What are you talking about…? It's my fault...” He untenses and mutters something to himself. “What do you mean?” He gently asks. “I got mad… And threw my stuff. Nobody hurt me but me.” “I see…” “Why are you here, Satoru?” I look up at him with just my eyes, not having the energy to move my head. “Why are you suddenly in my life?” Satoru doesn’t reply. “I’ve gotta… Go home.” I mumble as I stumble up. “Bye.”I grab my bag and I haphazardly throw all my papers in, silently waving Satoru off as I slowly walk away.“Let me walk you home!” He decided, following me. “We can stop by my house first to fix up your hands!” “Uhh, no?” I grumble. “Come on, Chiaki.” He insists, stepping in front of me. “I need to go home.” I think he realized I wasn’t budging, so he let me walk home. But, he refused to let me walk home alone. Whatever. We walked in silence for a few minutes, until we reached a convenience store. I don’t need much from here, just to wash my hands and buy some bandage wrap. Sure, if I bandage my hands my parents will question me, but they hurt so much I don’t care.“What are we doing here?” Satoru asks, visibly confused. “Just need to wash my hands and get bandage wrap.” I replied. “Did you think I can go home like this?” I add, flashing my bloody hands in his face and walking to the bathroom in the back of the store.Shoving open the bathroom door, I make my way to the sink. My mind flashes to the pain I felt every other time I’ve gotten angry and busted up my hands. This is about to hurt. Before I can prepare for the pain, I turn on the water and shove my hands under the stream.“Shit!” I hiss, recoiling but instantly shoving my hands back under the water. The cold water mixing with the wounds on my hands causes my eyes to water, but once again, all I can do is blink away the tears until my hands are clean. Once I’m done, I dry my hands, wipe away the tears, and find Satoru.“Chiaki!” He calls, standing at the register. “Huh?” “I bought your bandage wrap for you.” “Oh.” I reply, ignoring my probably bright red cheeks. “Thank you, Satoru.”“Of course!” He flashes a smile as we exit the store. “Do you need help wrapping your hands?” “No!” I yell more loudly than expected. I quickly return to my regular demeanor. “Sorry. No thank you, I’m good.” We had a one sided conversation (led by Satoru) as he walked me home. While he talked, I wrapped up my hands and listened to him ramble about this and that. It was obvious he was an introvert, though, so he was really struggling. I get it, though. He’s tried harder than I ever have to be more sociable. It’s weird- I don’t mind talking to people. In fact, I like the idea of interacting with and hanging out with people. People are just so hard to interact with. I have nothing in common with anyone due to my parents. I want to talk to people and make friends… I just wish I had something in common with these people. That’s probably why Samansa and I are friends; we’re both sort of outcasts.It’s admirable of Satoru to exit his comfort zone to try and make me feel more comfortable. Is he doing a good job? Barely, but that’s besides the point. It’s the fact he’s trying that counts to me. I finished wrapping my hands… The pressure feels nice. Just in time too, I can see my house.“Hey,” I start. “My house is right there, the one with the bushes.”“Your house is huge!” He replies, eyes wide. “I know.”“Want me to walk you in?” He asks, smiling.“No.” I said, a bit ruder than intended. “My parents aren’t nice. You don’t want to deal with them. Besides, you’ve done enough for me today.”“I see…” He mumbles in reply as we reach my house.“Satoru?” I turn to face him.“What’s up, Chiaki?”‘You’ve got this, you can thank him for helping you! You don’t need to be rude, or unnecessarily formal… You can do it!’“I appreciate you helping me back at the park… And I’m grateful that you bought my bandages for me. You’re a good person, Satoru. I don’t remember you being this… Mature? Yeah… You’re like an adult but more trustworthy. I’ll stop myself from rambling before I embarrass myself.” I nervously fiddle with my hands. “Are we friends?”“Huh? Of course!” He said, perked up. “You can even hang out with me and my friends!” “Ummm… Maybe. I don’t know. I think a group of that size would make me uncomfortable. That’s more friends than I’ve ever had in a lifetime.” I reply, mumbling the last part.“You can bring Samansa!” He adds. “Maybe having someone you’re familiar with will make you feel more comfortable with us!”“Y-Yeah, maybe… I don’t want to rush into anything. Sorry, Satoru. Maybe in a few weeks. I just need time to separately know members of your group, first…” I said, itching to go inside. The conversation is suddenly awkward.“I see.” He mumbles something else I couldn’t hear clearly, until he seems to know what he wants to say. He should plan his conversations better. “Take your time, Chiaki. But I want to know more about you. I want to be your friend.”“Tch!” My face instantly goes bright red. And I thought I was a smooth talker…! He seems to notice how I interpreted his statement. “Not like that!!!” “Good.” I smile. “Besides, aren’t you and Hinazuki… You know?”“Uhhhh!” He pats his face with both hands. “That’s beside the point!”“So what is the point?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “Well, I want to invite you to my birthday party.” He said, holding out a birthday invitation to me. “It’s on March 1st. You have a while to get acquainted with my group before then so you’ll be comfortable!” “Oh wow…” I replied, once again flustered. “Who’s going? Just your friends?” “Kazu, Kenya, Osamu, Hiromi, Hinazuki… And hopefully you.”I purse my lips and smile. “You’re still smooth talking to me.”“Sorry!” He puts up his hands in defense. “That’s alright… Thank you for inviting me, Satoru. I’ll go.”He gives me a grin. “Thanks, Chiaki! I’ll let you go in now! Bye!!” He yells, a bit loudly for comfort.“Bye, Satoru!” I yell back, though much quieter. I walk through the gate of my house and make my way to the front door. Sighing, I open it.“Dinner’s been done for 30 minutes!” My Mother yells from the dining room. I take off my shoes and make my way to the dining room. “Sorry, I was at the park after studying.” I lied, sitting at the table.My Mother glances at my bandages. “So what happened there?”“I fell off the swing, when I tried to catch myself I cut up my hands on the ground.”“Why aren’t your knees messed up?” “Managed to catch myself with my hands before my knees touched the ground.” I replied. “I cleaned them and my hands in the bathroom.” “I see.” She mused. She continued to ask about my day as I ate dinner. asking if anything interesting happened. I replied quite disinterested, as usual, more interested in eating.I’m close to finishing my plate of dinner, when my Mother decides to ruin my day with another one of her opinions.“Don’t you think you’ve eaten too much, Chiaki?” She smiles, glancing between me and my food.I don’t even honor her with a reply as I get up, dump the rest of my food into the trash, and put the dish into the sink. “Good girl.” She says as she pats my head. I silently make my way to my room as I get ready for bed, not even bothering to greet my Father who was in the living room. After getting ready, I slip into my pajamas and take off my bandages, throwing the bloody wrap into the trash. Sighing, I get under the covers of my bed and wait until I fall asleep.
‘Tomorrow will be better.’
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 22, 1988 6:16I shut the door behind me as the brisk air instantly envelops me.It was COLD. Really fucking cold. It hasn’t been this cold in a while that I actually really thought about the weather. Isn’t spring supposed to be coming soon…?I sigh. I shouldn’t have left this early. School starts at 8:30, I always get there right as the bell rings, and here I am. Leaving the house at 6:16. “Tch.” I grumble to myself as I exit the gate, slamming it. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be leaving now. I glance back at the house and look into the window. Mother and Father are still deep in screaming at eachother. Hell if I know what they’re even mad about now. They’re always at each other's throats, but it usually isn’t screaming competitions like they’re doing right now. Whatever, they’ll be done and act like nothing happened when I get back. They always do that shit.It’s too damn early… What should I do? Go straight to school or find something to do?I walk for a few minutes, pondering what to do, when I decide to just sit at the park near Mikoto Elementary. I plop onto the swing and toss my bag aside, just… Frustrated.“What did I do?” I breathe out. “I don’t deserve this. I shouldn’t have to deal with my parents. They’re demons. Rotten to the core. There’s no fixing them… They should fucking die.”I was gripping the swing chains so hard that my knuckles turned white, despite their bruised appearance from my ‘tantrum’ yesterday. In my head… I imagined it was my Mother. I want to see the color drain from her face. I want to see life fade from her eyes. I want to hear her choke and cry and beg me to stop. That’s what she gets. She ruined my life by making me be her kid. “Didn’t think I’d see you here, Chiaki.” My head snaps to my right, a head of blond hair greeting me as he sits on the swing next to me. “Uh! Hi. Kenya.” I mumble back, trying to get myself out of my violent daydreaming. He glanced down at my bruised hands, which were now situated in my lap. I look at his face, trying to decipher what he’s thinking. He’s either going to confront me about it now or bring it up later, so…“It was me.” I said, breaking the silence. “Huh?”“My hands.” I hold them out to him so he can get a closer look. “It wasn’t my parents, just me. Don’t get the wrong idea.”“I see…” He replies, studying them. “What happened?” “Nothing important.” I hum. Satoru already knows (against my will) so I really don’t need more people knowing how unstable I am right now.“I see.” He replies. “Is this why you’re never early? You just sit here until school starts?”“Nope. I usually take longer to get ready. I left early today.”He raises his eyebrows. “Any reason why?”“Felt like it.” I lied in response.“I’m going to head to class now.” He replies, getting off the swing. “Want to come with?” “Uhh…” I sit and think for a moment. “Hmm… Okay.”“Alright! Let’s go.” He said as we walked to the school. This is probably going to be my first time arriving early to school. It was relatively silent, Kenya occasionally would comment on our surroundings and that was that. Honestly, I’m glad he didn’t try to make me talk. He’s nice, don’t get me wrong; but I don’t exactly feel comfortable with him. I internally sigh, wishing I declined walking with him. I’m not used to this. I don’t like it. Glancing around, I spot a potential escape from this awkward situation. “I think I’m going to grab a snack from the convenience store, you can go on ahead if you want. I’ll meet you in class.” I smile, giving him the illusion of an option, but ultimately sending him away by saying I’ll see him in class.“Oh.” He stops, confused. “Alright, then. I’ll see you in class, Chiaki.” “Uh-huh, bye!” I wave as I stop in the store to look for snacks. As I walk around, I continuously stop in front of these yummy mini cakes. I’m practically drooling everytime I pass by them. I can afford them, why don’t I just…? I reach my hand out to grab it when I pause only centimeters away. No, I’ll get something with less calories. Last night at dinner was replaying in my head, quickly flooding my senses with a very bitter feeling. Am I really gaining weight? Shit… I grasp my hair with my hands, fighting the urge to just rip it out. What if Mother is right? Maybe I am gaining weight. Maybe I do need to eat less… I let go of my hair, but my chest still feels tight. I grab my coat, trying to get to my chest to ease the ‘pain’. What if Mother is lying? I’ve heard her, after all… She talks to Father sometimes, about how she’s jealous of me… She’s told him she was the ‘ugly kid’ growing up, so maybe she’s taking that frustration out on me too, because I’m prettier than her! But what if she isn’t? Damnit! Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid! “Whatever.” I growl, walking over to the healthier snacks and yanking a bag of peeled chestnuts off the shelf. I like them, don’t get me wrong, but I really just wanted cake…The store was empty, so I got out of there quickly. Guess I’m still getting to school really early. I hate being there with those damn nosey adults. I’m reminded of Yashiro from yesterday. Why does he even want to help now? He’s worked at this school for years. He’s likely heard rumors about my life years ago. NOW he wants to help me? Too fucking late. I gave up trying to escape from my shitty life. If he wanted to help me escape, he should’ve done it years ago. The environment gets louder as I get closer to school. There’s a lot of kids here, why are they here so early??? I know Samansa gets here at the ass crack of dawn, but I thought she did just because she can. Is there actually a good reason? “Of course there is!” Samansa grins, leaning on her desk. “I can hang out with my friends for longer! And now that you’re here, I can hang out with you for longer too!” My face flushes. “S-So, you’re willing to wake up so early so you can hang out with friends?”“Exactly! I love hanging out with my friends; that’s what they’re for, right?” I pause. “Would you… Like it… if I got here early too?” “I would love it!” She replies, getting closer. “I know you would love hanging out with me and my friends, we’re pretty similar after all.” “I see…” I replied, glancing over to Satoru, who was looking at Hinazuki. He offered the same thing. If I accepted, who should I hang out with? Logically I would go with Samansa because I’ve known her longer and we’re technically ‘best friends’, but Satoru is super nice too… “You know, Satoru offered to hang out with his group too… He offered that I take you if I hang out with them. Would you like to, if I did?” She thinks for a second. “Yeah, I’d be down! Satoru is cool!” I smile. “He is… Thank you, Samansa.” She cocks her head to the side “For what exactly?”“Uhh…” I purse my lips. “All of it? The whole conversation. Yeah.” “Hmm. Alright!” She smirks. “You’re welcome!” We spent the remaining time of class chatting about assorted things, though Samansa led most of the conversation. With what she had said in mind, I tried to interact more, adding more of my own commentary as well. This isn’t too bad… Class had started, and Mr Yashiro was rambling about some shit I already studied. Naturally, I had ripped a page out of one of my notebooks, and had started some doodles. I wouldn’t doodle in the middle of lectures usually, but since I had studied this already I think it’s okay to make an exception this time.Apparently more time than I had thought eventually passed, and independent study time had started. The silence was short lived, though. “Chiaki, can I talk to you outside?” Mr Yashiro asks, clearing his throat and motioning to his door.The class erupts into a chorus of ‘Oohs’ as my face goes bright red. These immature brats…! I sigh as I roughly get out of my seat and harshly slam it back into the desk, effectively shutting everyone up. I forget that not everyone grew up as fast as I have, but I can always count on them to quickly remind me of that fact. I walk through the door into the empty hallway, as Mr Yashiro shuts it behind me.“What happened to your hands?” He bluntly asks, concern painted on his face. Not this again. Whatever. “Fell off the swings at the park.” “Really now?” “Yeah.” He gives me a disappointed look. That won’t work on me. I get he means well, but he’s too late to help me.“Chiaki… Why won’t you let anyone help you?” He asks, kneeling down to my level. “If you’re struggling at home- No, I know you’re struggling at home; I can help you. The school can help you.” “I don’t need help. As if the likes of you and the school faculty can help me.” I spat, getting agitated. Why won’t he leave me alone? “The world isn’t as bad as you think… We’re here for you.” He smiles, putting a hand on my shoulder; I quickly swat his hand off. “If the world is so good… Why didn’t anyone help me!?” I grit my teeth. “I begged. I pleaded for help years ago… You want to know what happened, Mr Yashiro?” He looked at me with an unreadable expression, the concerned look had disappeared. It was replaced by a blank slate. I was unnerved, but continued. “Nobody came. All adults are the same. You’re all demons. Filthy, filthy, demons.”I turn on my heel and storm back into class, grabbing the door and slamming it open. I feel every pair of eyes in that room on me as I get back in my seat. And I have a damn good point, too. Why is he suddenly trying to help me? There is no goddamn rhyme or reason. He just suddenly decided he cares about me and I’m just… So confused.He takes a moment, but Mr Yashiro eventually comes back into the class, shutting the door behind him with an expressionless look on his face. Creepy.Whatever… My hand finds its way to my hair to brush it out of my face. As I pick up my pencil, I look to my right and see Satoru staring at me. ‘What the hell… Why is he staring at me? Is something wrong with my hair?’ I thought, darting my eyes down to my paper. He’s probably just confused about why Mr Yashiro called me out of class.So awkward. “We’re collecting lunch money!” Satoru yells. “If you forgot to bring it today, turn it in by tomorrow!” I don’t even bother getting up. My parents never give me lunch money. And we’re not even poor, so the school won’t pay for my lunches. Basically, I don’t get lunch. “You gonna send up your money?” Kenya asks, stopping at my desk after giving Satoru and Hinazuki his money. “I don’t have any.” I replied.“Why not?” I fidget with my knuckles. “My parents never give me any.” “I see.” He says and takes his seat behind me.I made eye contact with Mr Yashiro, who was surely thinking the same thing as Kenya. I simply shake my head. I wonder if I stopped eating breakfast if they would let me get school lunch? Lunch had rolled around, and I was just snacking on my peeled chestnuts. Even if I don’t get lunch money, at least I get an allowance, I guess. Samansa was sitting with me and chatting about this new game she wanted, but I was sorta spaced out. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mr Yashiro. He’s an adult, but he seems to really care about me. He’s pulled me aside to interrogate me on my well being at home twice, now. But I can’t shake this feeling about him. He’s just so… Creepy. He’s very nice to everyone in class, but he still creeps me out to no end-“Chiaki!!” Samansa groaned. “Are you listening? What’s wrong with you?” “Huh? Oh, sorry…” I mumble. “It’s nothing, I’m just thinking.” She rests her head on her hands. “About what?” “Just…” I purse my lips. “Stuff.” Samansa raises an eyebrow. “C’mon, stuff?” She gives me a look like she’s going to inquire further, but… “You’re thinking about stuff while I’m trying to tell you about the most kickass game?!” “Sorry, sorry.” I bow my head.“It’s okay, I’m playing with you…” She smiles. “Thank goodness.” I sweatdrop. “I’ve been out of it, recently…” I nervously fiddle with the empty plastic bag of my chestnuts. “You know? I’m not as ‘in’ it as usual. I don’t know how to describe it. Do you get the gist, though?” “...Barely.” I awkwardly laugh in response, and almost as if god himself wanted to save me from the awkward silence… “Mr Yashiro.” Satoru loudly declares, the class falling quieter.“What’s the matter, Satoru?”“The lunch money for our class…” He pauses, nervously swallowing. “It’s missing.” The class spares no time before getting loud and rowdy. Childish, again.“Excuse me, Mr Yashiro?” Another voice, who I quickly identify as Yanagihara, chimes in. “I don’t think it’s missing! I think someone stole it!” Once again, more uproar as she finishes her sentence, a very smug (and punchable) look on her face. “I think Hinazuki is the culprit!” My eye twitches at that. I can feel my fist tingling too. I want to punch her SO bad. Satoru seems to be in just as much disbelief as I am. “W-What makes you say that?!” “She’s eating lunch even though she’s not paying for it.” She snarks in reply. “She doesn’t even have money for dinner, does she?”A chorus of hateful remarks are fired Hinazuki’s way, and I feel myself getting angrier. Why is she so annoying? Trying to ignore it, I glance at Samansa, who looks even angrier than me. ‘Scary…’ I thought, shaking my head. I look at Mr Yashiro, who isn’t doing anything. What is he even here for?Yanagihara continues, much to my dismay. “I suggest we go through everyone’s backpacks!” Some students look in each other's bags, but I remain seated with my arms crossed. I didn’t steal it, and Samansa didn’t either, so there’s no need. Yanagihara is still smirking at Hinazuki. Did she do something with the money? Why else would she be so insistent it’s Hinazuki? That little-“I found it.” I snapped my head towards Hinazuki, who was holding the wad of cash that the class had put together for lunch. She really-“I knew it!” Yanagihara cackled. “I thought her coat looked suspicious!” I can’t finish a single damn thought in this class-“Shut up!” Satoru, as if on cue screamed, his chair falling over as he aggressively stood up. “Even if she’s poor or hungry, she would never steal the money!”I can’t help but smile. He really has a huge crush on Hinazuki, it’s so cute!!! The class was completely silent, though. Yanagihara was stunned in place from Satoru’s outburst, like the rest of the class. And as quickly as this situation got out of hand, she started crying.“Hey, look…” Kenya spoke. “Anyone close to Satoru could’ve picked it up from his desk and hid it somewhere, right?” I purse my lips. “That makes the most sense.”Yashiro finally intervenes, clapping his hands together to gather our attention. “Class, considering Kayo is on daily duty today, it makes sense for her to have the money, right?” He glares at Satoru and Yanagihara. “Satoru, Misato? Enough is enough. Let’s enjoy the meal!” He finishes with a smile. I looked at Yanagihara; who looked destroyed. If it weren’t for that shit she just tried to pull, I would maybe feel bad. Maybe. “She always has to start shit, doesn’t she?” Samansa yawns.“Right?” “I wanted to beat the shit out of her, but Yashiro would probably not let it slide this time.” She grins. “You know, since I was messing with Hamada like 2 days ago. I need to space it out more.” I exhale in relief. “God, I wanted to do that too. But if I ever got in a physical fight my parents would murder me. I didn’t even say what I wanted to her because I don’t want to know if verbal fights count too.”“That’s rough.”“That’s life.” I replied. “Most kids don’t get to beat up other kids with no consequences at home.”Fortunately, Samansa had forgotten (or didn’t care) about my spacing out earlier, so we had just continued where we left off. This time I didn’t allow myself to space out, remaining engaged throughout the conversation. Suddenly, she looked behind me with raised eyebrows and a generally weird expression on her face. Confused, I slowly turned around. Behind me was Kenya, awkwardly looking to the side with half his sandwich outstretched to me. “Umm…?”“I’m not that hungry.” He mumbled. “Take it. You should get to have something to eat.”My eyes widened. Is it really okay…? “I can?” I ask, just to really confirm I can have it. “Eat it.” He says, as he drops it into my hand. Just as quickly as he appeared, he went and sat back with Satoru. I curiously peer over and see Satoru looking in my direction as well. I quickly snap my head back to Samansa. “Too much is happening today.” I speak, shoveling the sandwich in my mouth. “I can tell.” She grins. “If it makes you feel better, you need to ‘tutor’ me today. I already told Yashiro so you have to.”“Oh. Okay.” “You want to do it at my house?” She asks.“Umm…” I think for a second. “No, let’s do it at the library. All the books there make it easier for me to teach.” “Alright!” She chirps. “You do remember we hardly studied last time though, right?” “Yeah… But we should try to study a bit, you know. We have a test coming up.”She let out an exasperated sigh. “Oh. Yeah, true.” I take a moment to look back at Kenya, who was still sitting with Satoru. “Kenya?” I called out.He turns to look at me. “Yeah?” I fidget with my hands. Just a simple thank you. “Thank you for the… The food.” “Yeah. Of course…” He replies, giving me an awkward smile. I turn back to face the front of the class, satisfied.‘Finally! I didn’t ramble!’
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 28, 1988 16:57I had just waved goodbye to Satoru’s friend group as I shut the door to my house. It was nice, having such a large group of friends… I’m even on a nickname basis with Hinazuki, who I’ve decided to call Hina. The group was going to get food together, but Mother asked me to come home early today, so I had to decline. ‘I’ll try to go another time.’ I told them. As I neatly tucked my boots into the shoe rack, I entered the dining room. “I’m here.” I gently called out, scanning the room. That’s odd… The lights are on, and food is on the stove, but Mother is nowhere to be found. Where did she go? I slink around the house, curious as to where my Mother went. I hate her, don’t get me wrong, but where did she go? She’s always in the dining room. Sometimes I think she ONLY exists there. There and the living room. I never see her anywhere else. As I climb the staircase, I hear rustling in my parents room. Seriously… What is going on? Curiosity will always get the better of me, though. I walk up to my parents door, which is slightly ajar. ‘It just keeps getting more interesting…’ I thought. I haven’t been in there in a long time. My parents banned me from their room the instant I was old enough to occupy my own room full time, so I hardly remember it. I tried to go in there once before a few years ago, but my Father beat me so badly afterwards I never tried again. There wasn’t even anything weird in it, they just don’t like me. I contemplated going in there, but ultimately I decided I value not getting beat over being curious. I knock on the door. “Mother? Father? Is that you? I’m home.” There’s no answer, and I feel my whole body freeze in place. Who…?“Oh, Chiaki! You’re home!” My mother smiles, appearing in the doorway.I flinch and look at her with disbelief. “Don’t flinch at me.” She snarled. “I’ll give you a reason to flinch.” Holy tone shift…“Sorry, you scared me.” “Whatever.” She shrugged. “Go downstairs and get a portion of dinner, I’m doing something.”“Okay.” I replied. “Where’s Father?”“Late at the office. More patients than usual.” “Okay.” I replied again as I headed downstairs. I didn’t plate myself much dinner this time. I couldn’t help but blink at the plate. It’s just, I’m not that hungry lately. Kenya has been sharing lunch with me every day, and it’s really held me over well. I don’t feel like I’m starving by dinner. It’s nice. As I sit down, Mother enters the room, a glass in her hand. “You’re not eating much.” “U-Uh, yeah. I haven’t been very hungry lately.” “Any possible reason you’d want to share as to why?” She asks with a narrow glare. “Nope.” I shake my head. “Okay, then.” She said, setting the glass down on the table as she heads to the kitchen to plate her own portion. “I heard there’s been kids getting sick at your school…” “There have?”“Yeah, I’ve heard from some teachers that there’s been a lot of sick kids.” “That’s unfortunate for them.” What do these sick kids have to do with me? She sits down. “Take some cough syrup, as a preventative measure. You know how much I hate it when you miss school, don’t you, sweetheart?” I reluctantly take the glass. “This is a lot for cough syrup, isn’t it?” Her eyes darken at the question and I mouth a silent ‘sorry’ as I chug down the glass. I quickly gag, though. ‘It tastes like shit…!’ Despite that, I downed it all. “Good job!” She chirps. “Here, have some water.” She adds, pushing my glass of water closer to me. “Okay..” I genuinely had no clue there was cough syrup that had to be drunk in such large quantities… Gross. Are they trying to kill me?I drank some of my water to drown out the taste, but it doesn’t work well. Oh well, I’ll just eat my dinner to get rid of it. Mother and I chatted about school, as we usually do, over dinner. She asked me about how my assignments were, about upcoming tests, and as of recently, my tutoring sessions with Samansa. Naturally, I lied every time about how the tutoring sessions were going. To be honest, Samansa, while she was learning some things, she barely learned shit.It’s not that I’m a bad teacher or that she’s stupid, it’s just that we keep getting distracted. She’s dangerous for my productivity, but that’s alright with me. Mr Yashiro should be teaching better. Even though I personally find him to be a decent teacher, it’s not my job. I’ll keep tutoring her for a bit though. Mother has been less on my ass lately, and I’m fairly certain it’s because I’m tutoring Samansa. Me tutoring another student during my free time? It makes me look like an angel! And it makes my Mother look like one too.I had just finished my plate when I was telling Mother about this upcoming test’s content. “It’s really easy, I know I’ll get 100% on it.” I state as I get up to put my plate in the sink. But as I stand up I’m hit by a severe wave of nausea. “I-I… I honestly learned the… The content really fast… But the c-class seems to need a lot o-of clarification…”“You okay, sweetheart?” Mother asks, still seated.“Y-Yeah, I’m… I’m alright.” I reply, wiping the newly formed beads of sweat off of my forehead. “I’m just a bit n-nauseous, that's all.” I stumble to the sink, slipping the plate in. “I need to g-go to the bathroom…” I mumble as I rush to the bathroom.I slam the bathroom door open, and the second I crouch in front of the toilet I empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. It didn’t stop there, though, as I went on for minutes hurling and crying over the toilet. I had puked so much I couldn’t puke anymore. All that remained was the sounds of my dry heaving and panting. Even when it seemed it was finally over, I was still gripping the sides of the toilet for dear life. I couldn’t stop shaking. “W-Why…” I panted, finally slumping against the wall behind me. Naturally, I have puked in the past. All kids have… But I’ve never puked like this before. Usually I just puked out whatever was causing the issue and I would move on. But this time, the puking went on even after my stomach was completely emptied. I recoiled as I looked inside the toilet, fighting the urge to puke again. Quickly, I flush the toilet, feeling instant relief knowing I don’t have to look at it again. Mother hasn’t checked on me even once… When I get sick she practically glues herself to me, giving me every type of medicine on the planet to get me better. Hell, she gave me medicine earlier and now I’m sick.‘Whatever,’ I thought, pushing myself up with shaky arms. ‘her affection comes and goes, it seems.’As I’m about to exit the bathroom, though, I catch a glimpse of something in the mirror that makes my heart drop. As if on autopilot, my finger makes its way to the deep red streak dribbling out of my mouth and wipes it up. I’m… I’m ‘puking’ blood?I get even more lightheaded as I spit up the blood that pooled in my mouth. I was so preoccupied with how much I was puking I hadn’t even noticed what I was puking.“What… The fuck?” I whisper, leaning against the sink. I study my reflection, tracing my face with my hands. I look so sickly all of a sudden. My skin is pale, my eyes look exhausted, and the wiped up blood under my mouth doesn’t make me look any better. I looked dead.It was jarring. Lately, I’ve looked healthier. My skin looked warm, my eyes were bright, and I looked less like skin and bones… Without thinking, my fist had made its way to the wall next to me, slamming hard against the surface. The sound reverberated in my ears for what felt like eternity until a voice snapped me out of my trance.“Did you just realize something, Chiaki dear?” My mother cooes, walking into the bathroom and holding my shoulders tight. “What was…” I tense up. “What was it that you gave me? It wasn’t medicine, was it?”“Always so smart…” She smiled, running a hand across my face. “I both love you and hate you for it.” “What did you give me…?” I breathed out, heart practically beating out of my chest.“Just some syrup to induce vomiting.” She said, squeezing my shoulders harder. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice the weight you gained?” She whispered, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up.I can’t even find the words to reply. She poisoned me? Because I gained a little bit of weight? She’s okay with poisoning me, making me puke blood, and potentially seriously hurting me just to lose weight?“Don’t think that just because you found out it’s not medicine means you won’t take it anymore.” She growled. “I will personally stick my fingers down your throat until you puke.” She grabbed a handful of my hair and turned me to face her. “Which would you rather? Drink that syrup or have me stick my fingers down your throat?” I ignore the stinging feeling on my scalp, focused on just getting her to let go of me. I hesitated. “I’ll take the syrup.” “Good girl!” She shoves my head forward as she lets go of my hair. “I expect you’ll be back to your regular weight soon, but I’ve decided I want to make sure you remain at a perfect weight. So you’ll be expected to purge your dinner every night.” My eyes widened. “Every… Night?”“Just in case. Unless you want me to make you transfer schools, that is.” I hang my head down in defeat. She knows that I’ve been getting food from Kenya.“You’re such a good girl, you know that?” She says as she pets my head. All I can do is accept it. “Now, brush your teeth.”I nod as she walks away. Silent tears land on the counter. She’s willing to kill me just so I don’t gain weight? I grip the edge of the counter so tight my knuckles turn white. She’s a demon… She’s done crazy shit before, but possibly killing me like this? What the fuck am I supposed to do? She might actually kill me one day. I bite my lip. Unless… Unless I kill her first. I quickly shake my head trying to usher away those thoughts. No… I can’t do that. I hate her and wish she would die but murder? Who would murder their parents? That would make me as bad as them! But she’s trying to kill me.I look up at my reflection, my previously neat hair messy and ragged, hanging in front of my face. If I didn’t know better, I’d say my eyes looked like they had a red tint.Shit… I just need to brush my teeth and go to bed. My life has been getting better recently! I’ve been hanging out with Satoru and his friends! It’s been great! I don’t need to let Mother get in the way of my newfound happiness. She can try to break me all she wants. But I won’t go to bed depressed anymore. She keeps doing this shit because I just let her get in my head. I can’t physically resist, but now I have the capacity to mentally resist. She can’t win. I refuse to let her. My friends… They’ll help me get through this. I won’t have to deal with this alone anymore. I have people who care about me. Kenya and Satoru have proven that beyond a doubt. With this confidence, I can definitely take whatever this demon throws my way.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
February 29, 1988 12:28Mother poisoning me had more side effects than I thought. I haven’t been able to think straight ALL DAY, and I keep almost snapping at my friends. I don’t want to snap at them, I really really don’t, but everything is irritating me. That, and I cannot keep food down right now. Despite the fact that I only ever have toast for breakfast, I ended up puking it up on the way to school. I grit my teeth. I want to go home so bad… I feel like I’ll vomit again any second; and I cannot imagine what my parents will do to me if I puke during class. Glancing at the clock, I see it’s 10:29. One minute until recess. The second recess starts, I’ll run to the bathroom and hopefully this will be over. The minute feels like an eternity before we’re dismissed for recess, and the second I can, I bolt out of the classroom. Fortunately, the bathroom is incredibly close to class, so I managed to make it there alright. I spent a few minutes there puking up god knows what, stopping when someone came in, and continuing when they left. It was horrid. My body is trying to puke up food that doesn’t exist. Eventually, I stopped. I tried my hardest to make myself look presentable again, but I was just so sweaty. I inspect my reflection, dissatisfied. ‘Good enough, I guess.’ I thought, fluffing up my hair. ‘Not like anybody will notice.’As I was about to leave the bathroom, though, a familiar metallic taste filled my mouth. I looked at my reflection in time to see the blood running down my mouth. I hurriedly swiped it off and spit it all into the sink, quickly rinsing the splatter down the drain. I looked around, noting that nobody was in here with me. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if someone saw me spitting up blood. They would probably force me to the nurse- And then rumors would start- Rumors always make their way to teachers- Then Mr Yashiro would try talking to my parents about it, and last my Father would probably beat me to death.I sigh. Nobody saw me, I don’t know what I’m getting worked up over.With how long I’ve been gone, I’m probably starting to look suspicious. Class is probably about to start again, too. This recess isn’t that long, and I don’t want to be late.I speed walk back to class, and make my way back to my seat. “Where’d you go in such a hurry?” Samansa questions. “Recess started and you dashed out of here without even telling me!” I bow. “Sorry, sorry… Bathroom emergency.” “One hell of an emergency.” She mumbles. We chatted for a minute about the latest lesson. Seems my tutoring is sort of working, because there was a concept she actually understood. My mouth was agape. “Seriously?”“Yeah! Even Yashiro was like; ‘You’re not lying so I’ll leave you alone, are you?’ and I swore I wasn’t! I even did a problem to show him and I didn’t need any assistance!” She flashed me a huge grin. “I fucking hate math but I feel good about this!” She scoots closer to me and slings an arm around my shoulder. “With my newfound math abilities I can probably get an A on the test… Nobody is ready for my comeback.”‘Oh wow.’“You’re really confident.” “Of course I am! Math has always been such a pain in my ass… Understanding a math equation naturally is making me feel invincible! Now I’ve got a grasp of every subject!”“That’s awesome…” I can’t help but smile. “I didn’t know I would actually be of any help.”“Well, of course you would! You’re so smart, I wouldn’t expect anything less!” As she says that, I feel my heart skip a beat. “Yeah… Everyone is expecting the best out of me.” I mumble in response. “I always have to do my best.”Samansa raises an eyebrow, confused by my sudden change in demeanor. As she was about to ask about it, though, Mr Yashiro gets the class's attention.“Alright, everyone! Back to your seats!” He gently yells with a clap of his hands. “We have only one more day of review, and the unit test will be tomorrow! So let’s do our best, okay?”I slump my shoulders as Samansa walks back to her seat, patting my back as she leaves.Mr Yashiro drums his fingers against his lectern as the bell rings. “Say, where did Satoru and Kenya go?” And as if on cue, the two bursted into the room. “Kenya, Satoru, go to the hall with water buckets.” He sighed as he pointed to the hall.The class erupts into laughter at the boys expense as they begrudgingly pick up the water buckets in the corner and head into the hallway. ‘So childish…’ I thought, tapping my finger on my desk. I abruptly stopped myself, though. Where did that come from? I’ve never done that before… Seeking comfort, I tuck my hands into my lap in an attempt to stay still. ‘Come on… You spent years creating this perfect identity. Stop unravelling and fucking it up.’I kept spacing out, and I eventually gave up trying to space back in. Not like this is my fault anyways, I would be doing fine if my Mother wasn’t a psychopath. Eventually, Mr Yashiro let Satoru and Kenya back in the class, because I felt Satoru staring at me for the ENTIRETY of the rest of class. It was a blessing in disguise, oddly enough. Feeling his unwavering gaze on me made me feel so nervous I didn’t space out anymore. It was still really weird, though. After class I’ll have to try and ask him why he keeps staring at me. Lunch came after what felt like hours, and despite the fact it was only noon, I was EXHAUSTED. The class had felt louder than usual, Mr Yashiro was still annoying, and I felt sick. I don’t even think I want to talk to anyone right now, I’d rather just catch a nap or something. Unconsciously, I start tapping the desk again, and I force myself to stop again. I don’t think I can nap, though… It’s too loud in here, and there’s no way I’m going to the nurse. It feels like my senses are simultaneously cranked up to 9000 and dulled at the same time… Nothing feels right. I started to lay my head down in a last ditch effort to comfort myself, but naturally I was interrupted by a hand being placed on my shoulder.I visibly startle, jumping in my seat and quickly snapping my head to see who’s decided to bother me now.I’m met with the face of Satoru, and I feel myself relax. “Hey, Chiaki… Aren’t you going to sit with us?” “Uuhh… Y-Yeah? Yeah, sure. Just give me a second..” I sigh as I rub my temple. He gives me an confused look as he walks off to hang out with the group, specifically Kenya. I like Satoru’s friends, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to be near them without snapping right now.But what if you told them what’s going on?I clench my skirt. Why would I even think that? They could never understand. That, and I don’t trust them nearly enough for that. Except… Satoru has seen my breakdown and I don’t think he told anyone… Maybe-My chair loudly screeches against the floor as I abruptly stand up, infuriated by my train of thought. A few weeks ago, you never would’ve thought that kind of shit. Now you think you’ve got a group of best friends? Yeah right. I grit my teeth as I silently sit down with the group, taking Kenya’s spot since he was standing against the wall.“What’s up?” Satoru asks, similarly leaning next to Kenya. “Tired.” I lie, fidgeting with the hem of my skirt. Kenya’s smartass decides to chime in. “Why don’t you go to the nurse and see if you can nap there?”Gritting my teeth, I try to hold back the intrusive rude reply I had in mind. “I wouldn’t say I’m that tired…”“You look that tired.” Kazu blurts out, quickly noticing his mistake when I turn towards him with furrowed brows. “Didn’t somebody teach you that you don’t comment on a girl's appearance like that?” Hina remarks, taking the seat next to me. She’s such a godsend. “That’s what I was going to say.” I mumble, tapping my finger on my leg. I quickly grab that hand with my free hand to stop the tappingWhile the group chatted, I remained almost entirely silent, instead putting all my energy into not falling asleep and not puking. After a few minutes, I’m pulled into the conversation. “Say, Chiaki?” Kenya starts, utilizing my name to get my attention. “Are you going to eat? I left you half of my food again, but you haven’t even looked.” “No, I’m not hungry.” “I see.” He replies, shooting a glance towards Satoru. That went better than expected, I didn’t think he would just take that lie so easily. I’m about to get lost in thought again when the newly familiar feeling of my stomach contracting snaps me out of it. My eyes widen as my hand shoots to my mouth.Seriously? Just the mention of food is making me need to puke?I can feel the group's eyes on me as I try to compose myself. “Are you okay?” Hina asks, leaning in to me. I nod as I swallow. “Yeah! Just a bathroom emergency.” Wordlessly, I ran off to the bathroom. Luckily, there was nobody in there again, so I could quickly get this over with. Once again I empty the contents of my already empty stomach into the bowl, avoiding looking inside as I flush it. I grimace as I realize how good I’ve gotten. I went from crying and sweating to puking and getting right back to class. Gross. As I wash my hands, I quickly spit up the little bit of blood that was gathering in my mouth, swiftly rinsing it down with the soapy water. As the water runs down the drain, I can’t help but just stand there and listen to the distant sounds of casual conversation. Friend groups pass by the bathroom, arms slung around each other's shoulders, holding hands… They all seem so happy. My mouth curls into a frown. Would I ever be able to have that?Sure, I’ve started hanging out with Satoru and his friends, but… I still feel like an outsider. Despite my attempts, I still feel like someone who has simply leeched onto them; someone who sits there silently and brings the mood down with their very presence. My eyebrows furrow. No… If they thought that, I wouldn’t get consistently invited back. But what if they’re doing it out of pity? “Fuck!” I snarl, circling around the bathroom. “Stop it stop it stop it stop it stop…” In an attempt to escape the self deprecating thoughts, I force myself to leave the bathroom. I just always get so depressed when I’m alone… I slip back into class, making my way back to Kenya’s seat, which I have claimed as mine during lunch.The group wasn’t too concerned with why I took so long, instead just welcoming me back and continuing to talk about some video game they were interested in. Odd, I was expecting to get hounded about that… Guess not.Since they were talking about video games (which I am very unfamiliar with), I wasn’t able to really participate in their conversation, just opting to do the usual fidgeting with my hands. It wasn’t so bad, I guess. Typically I would just eavesdrop on conversations to trick my mind into thinking I was hanging out with people… It’s weird now; knowing that I can interact in this conversation as I please.Despite the fact I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, I did notice how often Satoru was staring at me. First Hina, now me? He has a really bad staring problem. Didn’t his parents tell him it’s rude to stare? “Hey, Satoru?” I said, shifting in my seat.He jumps a bit at my sudden question. “H-Huh? Yeah?” “Why don’t you stare at your girlfriend instead of me?” I smirk, leaning closer to Hina.In an instant, the poor boy's face turns bright red. He stammers and stumbles over his words for a moment, trying to regain his composure. “S-Sorry! It was an accident! I wasn’t doing it on purpose, I’ve just been spacing out I swear!” Hmm… I can see that being true. “Alright, then. Space out at your girlfriend next time, will you?” I look towards poor Hina, who was just as, if not an even brighter shade of red. She was unfortunately caught in the crossfire, but hopefully Satoru will stop staring at me now. Class had finally ended, and the casual chatter had once again filled the room. Kids complaining about homework, kids making plans, or just talking about useless things… Some kids are louder than others though.“Teacherrrrr!” A shrill voice belonging to some girl had made its way to my ears. “Teacher!” I look towards the source of the sound, the front of the class near Mr Yashiro, curious as to what his fanclub wants now. Mr Yashiro had a relatively disinterested face. Not in like, a rude way, but he just seemed like he would rather do anything but talk to these girls. Whatever, I don’t care. “Satoru.” I heard Kenya say from behind me. “We should invite her to the Children's Center with us.”“Yeah, I was thinking that too. I think it’ll be good for her. Can you ask her? I’ll ask Hinazuki.” Satoru replies. Him and Hina are so cute! He’s always thinking about her and it’s so adorable! Just as I’m thinking about ship names for the two, I’m jumpscared by a hand on my shoulder. “Hey.” I nearly broke my neck with how fast I twisted it to look at the person behind me. “Kenya?”“Yeah…?” He raises his eyebrows. “Satoru and I were wondering if you wanted to go to the children's center with us, Hinazuki, and Hiromi?” The last time they invited me I was unable to go… It sounds fun, I’ve heard those places have games and stuff. I nod. “Yeah, I can… Thank you for the invitation.” “Cool!” He smiles as he walks off to report to Satoru, I assume. Excited, I shove my stuff into my bag. My homework was done already, so I can leave that out and just give it to Mr Yashiro now. I made my way to the front of the class to see Mr Yashiro was still being pestered by his fan club. “My homework.” I said, pushing the girls out of my way and shoving the paper at him. “Fast as always, Chiaki! Are you ready for the test?” He winks, taking my homework and placing the paper on his lectern.Jesus Christ, I don’t want to talk to you. “Mhm.” “Good, I know you’ll do great on it as always!” I tense up as he pats my head, eliciting an eyebrow raise from him.“Yeah.” I reply, swatting his hand away. As I make my way back to my seat, I can feel Mr Yashiro’s fanclub’s eyes burning into the back of my head. I shudder at the feeling. I cannot imagine being so obsessed with an adult, let alone your teacher. So weird. Kenya was sitting on my desk as I made it back “You ready to go?” “Mhm,” I reply, slinging my backpack over my shoulders. “I just had to turn in my homework.” “Come on, guys!” Satoru calls, walking out with Hiromi and Hina. We quickly caught up with them and continued our conversation.“I’ve always wondered… How do you finish your work so fast?” Kenya asks, cocking his head to the side.I shrug. “I dunno. Lots of studying, I guess. That and the lessons are usually really easy. When your parents hound you about having perfect grades, it sorta becomes second nature.”He just mumbles something in response and shoves his hands in his pockets. Not caring enough to press further, I just drop it. Instead, I opt to just think of some song I heard in the convenience store once. I wonder if my parents would ever get me a cassette player…A familiar voice, who I quickly identify as Samansa, comes up on my left. “Hey!!! Chiaki!!!”“Hi, Samansa.” “Where ya going?” She asks, following us. “Children's center. You wanna go? I’m sure Satoru wouldn’t mind.”Satoru turns around at the mention of himself. “Yeah, I don’t mind.”“Hmmm…” She thinks for a moment. “Yeah, alright.”“Sweet, we can play some fun games with six people!” Kenya exclaims, smiling.“Maybe we can play basketball?” Hiromi replied.“I-I’ve never played… I dunno…” “You’ve never played basketball?!” Samansa practically yells, causing my face to turn bright red. “U-Um… N-No, I haven't. Is that a bad thing?” Satoru chimes in. “How are you eleven and never played basketball?” “Ten,” I corrected him. “and I don’t know? My parents never really had me do stuff like that. I’m more of a book person, I guess.”“Interesting…” Kenya replies. “Well, today will be your first day playing basketball, then! We’ll teach you!” “Oh wow…” I stammer. “Okay. That sounds fun.”“And if there’s other activities you’ve never played, we’ll teach you those too!” Hiromi smiles. “Only if you want to, of course!”Kenya nods in approval. “Yeah, if you don’t want to play basketball, we won’t make you.” We continue talking as we reach outside the gate of the school when Satoru suddenly stops us. “I have to stop somewhere first.” He says. “Hiromi, Kenya? Can you please wait for me with Hinazuki, Samansa, and Chiaki in the Children's Center?” “Yep!”“Okay.”We bid the blue haired boy farewell as we made our way to the Children’s Center. “Chiaki, you can do it!” “You’ve almost got it!” “Almost there!” I dribbled the ball up to the basket and threw it, expecting it to miss for the thousandth time, but… *Swish!*“Woohoo!!!” Samansa yelled, running up to me and engulfing me in a hug. “Good job, Chiaki.” Hina smiled, giving me a high five.I completed the high five. “Thank you!” Samansa released me from the hug, and I ran to grab the ball again. “You’re finally getting the hang of it!” Kazu laughed as I passed the ball to him. He passed the ball to Kenya, who swiftly caught it, dribbling it in place as we heard the door to the court open.“Satoru!!!”“Hi Satoru!” “Hi, Fujinuma!” “Hey Satoru!” “Sorry, Satoru!” Kenya said, still dribbling the ball in place. “I called other friends here!”“Satoru, join us!” Kazu calls, motioning for him to come over.We started passing the ball again, occasionally having someone shoot it into the hoop. It was the most fun I’ve had in a while. I usually avoided things like sports, not just because my parents prefer I focus on my studies, but because I feel like it’s too adult-like. I just like to avoid things I find too adult-like, like religion and politics. If these kids like sports and stuff, though… Maybe it’s not so bad that I try it out. I’m brought back into reality when the ball hits me on the stomach.“Oof!”Kazu laughs. “C’mon, Chiaki, stop spacing out!”“You good?” Samansa asks. She probably saw I was deep in thought again.“Yeah, I was just thinking that's all.” I reply, grabbing the ball and passing it to Osamu.The sudden force on my stomach made me feel a bit sick for a moment, and I had to take a second to regain my composure, but honestly? Suddenly all the negativity and unfortunate shit I go through in my life doesn’t seem too bad. Not too bad at all.
----- CHAPTER BREAK -----
March 1, 1988 7:39Showing up to school late by my new standards… I got pretty sick last night and that carried over to this morning. Naturally I’m still going to school since this is just a side effect of my Mother, not something like an airborne sickness. It really sucks, though. I was hoping to review the test for longer before taking it, but I guess I’ll have to make do with just under an hour. It’s not all bad though, the extra sleep was nice. That, and it was definitely necessary. Considering all the strain my body is going through puking so often, and the fact I played basketball yesterday, I was super tired. It was funny, actually… My mother reacted weird to my explanation as to why I was out so late yesterday.
“I’m back…” I called out from the door, gently setting my shoes into the rack and hanging my backpack up. I made my way to the dining room, and there was Mother and Father. Mother doesn’t look happy.
“Care to explain where you were?” Mother asks through gritted teeth.
“Uh, I was playing basketball with some classmates.” I replied. Normally, I would have lied but… I just have an urge to tell the truth this time.
Mother’s eyebrows raised, and Father actually looked up from his newspaper.
“Really?” Mother asks again, the same shocked expression on her face.
“Yeah?”
“You actually played a sport, like- exercising and running around, outside of school just because?”
“Yeah.”
She narrows her eyes. “What’s your endgame?”
I was taken aback. “What??”
“Are you doing this because of what I’m making you do?! I’m trying to help your fatass, you know!” Mother yells, about to start on another tangent.
“No, I was invited!” I snarled. “I was invited, thought- ‘They’re nice, I might as well!’ and I went! That’s it!”
Instantly I shrink in my seat. Shit. I’m about to get the shit beaten out of me. Stupid, you haven’t lost your cool in front of your parents in forever, and you fuck it up NOW like THIS? I might as well kick my own ass!
“I see.” My Mother replies, seemingly dismissing my temper.
“Huh?”
“Sports are fun, that can be good for you.” My Father mutters as he sticks his face back in his newspaper.
“Huh??”
She exhales, getting out of her seat. “Exercising by playing sports with your classmates will do. You may lose weight faster this way. I’ll let your little loss of temper slide JUST this once. Do that shit again, though; and I’ll beat your ass so hard you can’t sit down.”
I don’t even bother to hide the bewildered look on my face. “Okay…?”
What the fuck?
I’ve never seen Mother or Father act like that, it was so weird… It’s not like they ever forbade me from having friends or anything; I just never had the time. That, and a lot of people just never really liked me. It’s a rough combination of circumstances to have had to work with. Did they think I could never make friends? Because me too, but these people just all seemed to appear and take me in. Well, moreso Satoru took me in. Speaking of Satoru, he’s been so weird recently. Ever since like- 2 weeks ago maybe, he started to seem so mature… I don’t know how to describe it. He’s got the maturity of an adult, but the trustworthiness of a kid. Sure, Kenya acts mature, but you can tell he’s just putting on a mask. Satoru, however? It’s like he’s mature and tries to pretend to be more childish. Truthfully… Satoru fascinates me. Maybe one day I can talk to him about my life; all of the abuse and manipulation… I end my own train of thought, taking a second to look through my situation through less of an idealistic lense and more of a realistic lense. The sound of snow crunching under my boots grounds to a halt as I sigh. What am I saying? “Like hell he’d ever understand.” I thought aloud as I continued my trek to school, the mood suddenly dreary. The class had a decent amount of kids in it already, all doing anything but preparing for the test. Meanwhile here I was, silently cooped up at my desk, surrounded by all of the unit's work. Do they not care about their grades? My hand starts gripping my pencil tighter. Am I the only one in this goddamn class who has to get good grades or they get fucking beat?I let out a shaky exhale. Why is it that I’m the only one who has to suffer? Why do I have to deal with all this? I don’t know why I thought having friends would make all my problems magically disappear. At the end of the day, I still have to be perfect; and there’s no changing that. Having people to depend on only temporarily lessens that burden; it only makes it go away as long as they’re there. The second I’m alone and not ‘acting’ I’m miserable again.Fuck, where is Samansa? If she was here I wouldn’t be thinking so damn hard about everything! I peer out the window, curious if I’d see her ushanka, but I don’t. She’s never here this late… Naturally, the worst case scenario instantly popped into my head. She was telling me, a few weeks ago… About those killings in the town over. She told me there was basically no chance that the killer would be in our city, but… What if he is? And what if she’s why he’s not in class right now? I nervously tap my pencil against my desk, deep in panicked thoughts. “Thinking about something?” Mr Yashiro asks, kneeling down at my desk. I stop tapping and look at him. “What do you think?” He laughs as if I said something funny. “I see! You worried about the test?”“Uh, no.” I replied, furrowing my eyebrows. “When have I ever been worried about a test?”“That’s a fair point, I suppose you rarely don’t understand the content…”“I never don’t understand the content.” I corrected him. “I just sometimes need to study a bit to fully understand the material.”He pauses for a moment to gather his thoughts, I assume. “Say, why are you so insistent on having perfect grades?” Mr Yashiro, completely out of the blue, asks me. My eyes narrow. ‘How the fuck am I supposed to answer that??’ I thought.“I don’t know?” I replied, genuinely unsure of what to say. “I like it.”“You like having perfect grades?” He repeats, seemingly as confused as me.“...Yes?”“I get that!” He smiles, patting my back. I swat his hand away as usual. He continues as if I didn’t just slap him. “When I was your age, I always strived to do my best in school. In fact, I was always the top of my class, just like you!” I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah?” I can’t say I care about his answer, but maybe I can find out why he’s so insistent on harassing me if I listen. “Why?” He glances back up at me with a faint look of genuine satisfaction on his face before it’s replaced by his ‘regular’ face. “It’s a long story! I can always tell you about it after class, since I’m a bit busy right now.” He grins and stands up. “If you ever want to hear more, you know where to find me!” He quickly walks off, back to the front of the classroom. ‘Why bring it up if you’re gonna withhold the information like that??’ I thought, dissatisfied with the lack of information. “What was that about?” A voice asks as she sits next to me. “I was wondering where you were, Samansa.” I sigh, finally she’s here. “I’ve never been here before you.” “Yeah, yeah, you were here before me once, crazy shit.” She jokingly scoffs. “Where were you?” Samansa raises an eyebrow. “Why do you sound so worried? I’m here, aren’t I?”“You remember the time we first hung out, eh- studied, together? You know what I mean.” Agitated by my stumbling, I exhale and plan my words better. “Well, you told me about some killings in the other town. You may have forgotten, or stopped caring much, but… I haven’t. So when you weren’t here before me as usual, and for so long, I started thinking something happened, y’know?”She wordlessly stares at me, and I feel myself going red under her gaze. “Can you say s-something and quit staring at me so hard?” I stutter, still shrinking under her gaze. “You were… You were that worried about me?” “W-Well, yeah…” I mutter, tapping my thigh. “We’re friends, it makes sense for me to be worried for you, right?”She pretends to readjust her glasses in an attempt to hide her face. “C’mon, don’t make me blush, man…”I wave my hands in front of my face. “That wasn’t my intention, I swear! I was genuinely worried!”“I know, I know.” She awkwardly smiles and pats my arm. “Still, it’s really flattering you were so worried. Seriously, though… I doubt the killer is here. Why would he be here, y’know? And why would he kill again? Committing more crimes increases the chances he gets caught. It would be dumb to do it again.”I feel my whole body detense at that last sentence. I’ve been letting this whole friendship thing fuck up my logical view of the world… Me a month ago would’ve come to the same conclusion. Me a month ago wouldn’t give two shits about a murderer. He kills a classmate of mine? Whatever, I don’t care. He kills me? Good, I’m glad I finally don’t have to live with my asshole parents. But now? I don’t want any of my classmates to go missing; what if it’s one of my friends? What if it’s me? “Yeah… You’re right.” I said, slumping in my seat. “The killer has no reason to be here. I don’t know why I let myself get so worked up over nothing.”“It’s not nothing. A killer being a town over is crazy shit. You should always be a bit careful.” She says, voice laced with sympathy.“That’s true… I guess it is okay to be a bit worried, huh?” “Yeah.” She smiles, leaning onto my shoulder.My face heats up. “Uuuh… What’s this about?” She glances at my presumably bright red face and smirks. “Nothing, just needed payback.”“You ass!” I groan, unable to keep myself from smiling. “You’re a dick, you know that?” “Mhm!” She hums in response, still leaning on me. “You’re comfy. Well, your scarf is comfy. Super fluffy.” “Well, yeah… That’s why I wear it.”She scoffs and continues to lean on me, telling me about some book she read until class starts. I vaguely listen and comment on the more interesting parts as I review content for the test. The test went by smoothly, as expected; and I finished first, as usual. Since the class is so quiet while we’re testing, I actually managed to catch a nap as well. It was honestly the best sleep I’ve had in a while, considering I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in my own house anymore. “Chiaki… Wake up.”“Mn… No…” I grumbled back, burying my face further in my arms.“The bell rang, though…”“Mhm…”“C’mon, get up.” The voice groans. “Fine.”I stretch a bit and lift my head. Turning to the voice, I see it was Kenya. “Class is over already?” I ask, finally getting up and observing the class. Most of the students are gone. “Where’d everyone go?” “I told you the bell rang.” “Well, yeah, I know that.” I scoff. “I meant Satoru, Hina, Hiromi… You know.” “Oh. They all left. They thought you looked peaceful so they wanted you to get some more sleep.”“Aww… Thanks…” I smile and get up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. “Why did you stay?”“Satoru asked me to.” Kenya replied, starting to make his way to the door. I follow.“I see. Where did Mr Yashiro go?” “He offered to watch you for me but I know you seem a bit… Paranoid about adults so I figured I would tell him no.”‘A bit is an understatement…’“Thanks again.” I replied. “It’s really nice of you guys… Looking after me like that.”“O-Of course. It was Satoru’s idea.” He mumbles. “I’m just doing what he would do..”I raise an eyebrow as we exit the building, cold air assaulting all of our senses. I cover my nose and mouth with my scarf, and Kenya puts on his earmuffs. “Kenya?”“Yeah?”“I really don’t get it…” I mumble. “Why do you guys care all of a sudden? One day I didn’t exist to you guys and the next I’m being dragged off to hang out.” Kenya stayed silent for a moment, likely thinking over what to say. I’m sure he’s confused by the sudden question. These past two weeks I’ve just accepted the fact that they took me into their group, silently questioning it instead of outright asking. “I’ve never had friends. Ever. My personality is- standoffish, at best. I’ve got more problems as a ten year old than the average adult; I don’t make it clear what those problems are, but it’s obvious there’s something fucked up about me if you look just below the surface.” I speak, head hung down just staring at my feet as we walk through the snow. “What about that is appealing friend material, exactly?”“I can’t speak for Satoru, but I have my reasons.” He replied, staring straight ahead.I wait a moment for any follow up, but he doesn’t finish his thought. “Any… Particular reasons?” I nagged, genuinely curious as to what he knows.“Yeah.”…“Like what?!” I said through gritted teeth, stopping in my tracks. “Don’t withhold information about my own life from me, asshole!”“Your parents abuse you, don’t they?”I blink. “What?” “Not physically, I think. But mentally. They police your hobbies, don’t let you watch TV, play video games, play sports.. They want you to appear perfect to everyone, right? They wanted a status symbol, a trophy… Not a kid.”I stood in shock for what felt like an eternity. So long that I hadn’t even noticed the tears that gathered in my eyes upon hearing that. I quickly wiped them away, awkwardly looking off to the side to avoid eye contact. But, honestly… It felt like I waited my entire life to hear that. For someone to accurately tell me what they see when they look at me, not see what my parents curated for others to see.“I’m right, aren’t I?” The words I wanted to say wouldn’t even come out. I wanted to say yes, I wanted to sob, so happy someone my age understands what was happening to me. I want to confirm it… But… “This is my stop.” I mumble, opening the gate to my house. “Bye, Kenya.” I can’t. I can’t risk anything happening. Even if it’s supposed to ‘save’ me.