Work Text
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this.A/N Just another Internet meme that I saw - the gist of it is an interviewer asking an interviewee for an accomplishment they are most proud of, to which they reply they are responsible for ten new rules in the employees handbook. Interviewer asks if they wrote the rules, interviewee says "that's not what I said." Also tagging Chapter 2 of ShellSueD's "A Brave New World" where Tank explains to Stephanie the appropriate and inappropriate use of her new Rangeman cell phone.HR Rules by Debra8652Quiz du jour: Which Rangeman employee handbook rules were written specifically for you?Lester: All of them.Stephanie: Same as Lester.Tank: "Rangeman employee uniforms shall be as free of pet hair as humanly possible."Hal: "Rangeman employees shall not be blushing in their employee ID photo."Rodriguez: "Rangeman employees must have an employee ID photo and not be invisible."Ghost: Same as Rodriguez.Woody: "Belt buckles worn to hold up Rangeman cargo pants shall not be the size of dinner plates."Zip and Zero: "Employee ID photos shall be of the correct employee and not play the 'guess which one of us it is' game."Bobby and Bones: "Medical scrubs shall be solid black in color - no cartoon logos."Diesel: "Employees shall enter the building via door, elevator or stairwell - in extreme circumstances, entrance or exit via the roof hatch is acceptable. No popping." Note: Good thing I'm not an actual Rangeman employee.Cal and Hector: "In order to go undercover, tattoos shall be concealed to the greatest extent possible."Caesar and Ram: "Employee ID photos shall reflect a serious expression, not a GQ photoshoot."Binkie: "Employee ID photo shall reflect a mature expression and not be cause for employee to be carded at the door of bars where Rangeman services are being utilized."Ramon/Raphael/Vince: "Employee photo ID shall not resemble a rock star/movie star."Brett: "Employee's face shall not be covered in unidentified substances for employee ID photo."Manny: "Fake wedding ring shall not be displayed in employee ID photo and claim that it came from "wifey."All: "No employee photo ID expression shall reflect that they've spent time at any TV or movie marathon at Mooner and Dougie's."A/N Let's assume that Ranger's rule is: "No facial expressions allowed on employee photo ID." Your reviews are appreciated!