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Everything was blurry, the world around him was distorted and fuzzy. Uranus tried to open his eyes more widely, stopping when a sudden wave of pain rushed through his body when he started to have conscience over his own body. After adjusting to the light, he slowly started to situate himself. He took notes of the insane amount of dust and space debris around him. He also realized that he couldn’t open his left eye, it just hurt so badly. He was in a dark place, only being illuminated by a bright yellowish light.
‘That’s… a star?’
he thought, he remembered that he’s a planet, he orbits a star, but… what happened?
He was so confused, he didn’t remember anything, his mind was a mess. His name was…
‘Uranus’
Yes, at least he remembers his name. There was a sharp pain in his head after thinking too much, he wanted to put his hand over it to stop it, but his arms wouldn’t move. He suddenly realized how tired he felt, his body didn’t respond to his commands and his thoughts didn’t have a coherent line. He closed his eyes, wishing to rest a bit so the pain would go away. He stayed like that for a while, listening to the emptiness of space. The only thing he could hear was some asteroids passing near him and also the sounds of objects colliding with each other. Probably the rocks and ice floating around him, pulled by his gravity. But nothing happened. The pain wouldn’t stop and he couldn’t go back to sleep again. Uranus opened his eyes again, but there was something different from before. A figure was standing next to him, but he didn’t know who it was, he couldn’t see its face. He unsuccessfully tried to move to identify the mystery individual, only to stop because of how painful it was.
However, his attempt to move wasn’t a waste. The figure quickly saw his struggle and said “oh stars! He’s awake! Jupiter!”. The figure immediately ran away, probably to search for the ‘Jupiter’ they yelled. Uranus didn’t understand anything, so he just rested his eyes again. The pain was unbearable and he was too tired to try to understand anything. The headache seemed to never end, almost making him want to throw up. Although, he doubts that he would even have the energy to do that. He was almost falling asleep when suddenly a hand landed on his cheek, a warm hand that somehow felt welcoming after he realized how cold he was. He felt the hand moving him to face a figure standing above him. He blinked, trying to look who was there, but the light was hitting from behind it, making the figure look mostly like a dark shadow. “Hello, my friend. How are you feeling?” the figure asked, the voice seemed to be different from the earlier one. Uranus wanted to speak, he wanted to say how painful his body was and ask what was going on. But his vocal cords didn’t work when he insisted. He opened his mouth, trying to say anything, but only a strange noise came out.
The other seemed to understand his struggles and took that as an answer. “Can you tell me your name?” The figure asked, hands still on Uranus’s face. He forced his throat to make a sound, he wanted to say at least something. “U-…Ur…nes…s” were the only things that came out of his mouth. Uranus suddenly felt really tired after saying that. His vision was spinning, so he leaned over the figure’s hand to try to have any support. “Good, now, can you tell me where we are?” The other didn’t seem to mind his movement, so he relaxed and tried again to communicate. “s-su-… un…n” he couldn’t say the full name of the system, sun was simpler and easier for him.
“Very good. Do you remember what happened to you?” Uranus stayed in silence and closed his mouth. He felt that saying these two words drained all his energy, not having enough to say any other word. He also really didn’t remember anything, so maybe the other will take the silence as a no.
The figure let out a sigh, and talked again, but it didn’t seem to be to him “he’s alright, but still needs to rest. We should probably let the Sun know about this”. Uranus was too exhausted to continue to listen to the rest of the conversation, he just closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep. The warm hand on his face made it easier for him to relax. He slowly started to lose track of the surroundings and fell deep into a comfortable sleep.
It’s been a few years, or maybe more, after Uranus finally woke up from the coma. Jupiter and Saturn helped him a lot during his recovery, even though he thought they hated him. He had this feeling that they hated him in the past, but he didn’t know why. Whatever he thought, he was still very grateful that they helped him, he wouldn’t have survived without their help. They were so nice to him, Jupiter always took care of his wounds and Saturn would always comfort him when he needed to. They were the only friends he had.
His body still feels sore and his left eye hasn't regained vision yet. Jupiter said that it will probably come back to normal after some time, so he wasn’t worrying too much.
But the headaches never stopped, it was getting annoying for him. The only time he didn’t feel like someone was punching him nonstop was when he was asleep. But when he woke up, the pain would be the first thing he'd feel. Aside from that, there was still a lot of dust and rocks around him, but most of it was getting close together because of the action of gravity. Jupiter told him that these debris will form his moons and probably rings around him. That actually made him very happy and he couldn’t wait to see his moons. He was excited to finally have someone to talk to, it was very lonely in his orbit. When he started to get better, Jupiter and Saturn started to not visit him that much. He didn’t blame them, it is kinda annoying to check someone every day. But he didn’t have anything other than the space debris around him, so it was very boring.
His memory wasn’t the best, he remembered very little of what happened. Most of the things he knows are because Jupiter and Saturn told him. They told him that a big asteroid hit him when he was distracted and that he was in a coma for years.
He really didn’t remember anything, it was like he was just borned. Well, reborned. He remembered things like his name, the Solar system, some blurry events like him using a bow. But one thing that kept coming up in his mind was a figure, a small one, and it looked like a planet. It was actually one of the first things he remembered after he woke up. He tried to search for her, but was unsuccessful with that. That figure seemed to be very important to him and it was agonizing to not remember her.
He tried to ask Saturn and Jupiter about it, but they just avoided the topic and told him to go rest. He didn’t understand. He wanted to know about her! Even if they told them she was dead. Or maybe not, he really wanted to know why she was so important to him.
One day, after he was almost fully recovered, Jupiter came over his orbit and said that the Sun wanted to talk to him. He told him that the star wanted to have a word with him since he woke up, but Jupiter denied it, saying that Uranus was too weak to walk 19 astronomical units. But now, since he was better, the Sun wanted to see him. Uranus, obviously, agreed and began his journey to the center of the solar system. Jupiter was with him, because if anything happened, he would be there to help.
The travel went well, they sometimes would stop to take small breaks and catch his breath. After a while, they finally reached the inner part of the Solar system. He was now just using a chiton, his hair was up into a ponytail and he was sweating a lot. The unusual heat made him wish that he was not an ice giant. The sun didn’t notice their presence, he was sitting with his eyes closed. It was his first time seeing the celestial body (or maybe not, he didn’t remember), therefore he was very nervous. The star looked way bigger being this close. In his orbit, the sun looked like a small dot of light, but now, he looked giant. The inner part was very different from the outer part. The place had a lot of rocks floating around and there were also a lot of celestial bodies that hadn’t gained consciousness yet.
They walked a bit more into the center, only to stop because the heat was becoming unbearable. Jupiter shouted the star’s name, who immediately opened his eyes and noticed the presence of his planets. “Oh, Jupiter, Uranus. I’m glad you two came here. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble for you, Uranus.” Sun looked at them, a faint smile on his face. The mention of his name made Uranus jump, looking at the grand star made him shiver, even though it was very hot.
“N-not at all!” Uranus said, shaking his head. “You… I mean, your highness- wished to talk to me?” He continued, he didn’t know how to refer to the star, if he should be more casual or more formal. But he’s sure that he needed to be polite. The Sun laughed softly, but genuine “I can get used to that treatment. Anyways, yes, I wanted to talk to you. Jupiter, if you don’t mind?”. Uranus began to be more nervous as Jupiter nodded and walked away. “So, Uranus. Jupiter and Saturn had been informing me about your state and your recovery for a while. Are you feeling alright?” Uranus nodded, sure he was feeling very hot and his headaches were a bit worse than before, but he was better than when he woke up from the coma. “I’m glad. But I wanted to ask something else, do you really not remember anything?” Uranus looked away, fidgeting his fingers, “no, I’m sorry…”
The star let out a sigh, feeling a bit disappointed “it’s alright. You do not need to feel sorry, it’s not your fault…”. Still, Uranus felt guilty for not remembering anything, the faces of the people when he tells them he doesn’t remember them is heartbroken.
“Does… the name X ring a bell?” The Sun continued, looking at him with a little hope in his eyes. “I don’t think so…” Uranus looked back at the star “please, think about it. It’s really important”. He stopped to think for a moment, trying to dig through his memory and tear off at least anything to help the Sun. But nothing came into his mind, it was just a blank. The only thing that kept coming up was that small figure. “I’m sorry, sir” Uranus looked down again, not wanting to see the disappointment on the other’s face.
The Sun stayed in silence for several moments, eyes on the small planet. Uranus was sweating more than before, the combination of the insane heat and the nervousness made him feel like his body was melting. He wished that Jupiter was with him, maybe the other’s presence would give him some emotional support. The star broke the silence, cleaning his throat and saying “it’s alright. Thank you for coming here. I’m glad you’re recovered now”.
Uranus nodded and walked away, head still down. The guilt never left his head. As he was walking to the asteroid belt, someone ran past him very fast, making him jump and fall down. He put his hands on his head as he blinked, confused about what happened. When he looked up, he realized someone was in front of him, a small planet. “I'm so sorry man! Didn’t see you here” the little one said, looking at him. Uranus stared at the figure,
‘he looks like
…’ he blinked, and realized that the other was standing a hand to help him get up. He awkwardly took it and got up, still staring at the other. He was analyzing the planet. He was made of rock and lava, his surface was shifting and drifting. It means that his core was active, making big mountains and active volcanoes.
Why does he look like…
“Uhm… are you okay?” The little planet asked, a bit uncomfortable for the long stare of the stranger. “O-oh uh… yeah sorry” Uranus glanced away, a bit embarrassed for not realizing how long he’s been staring. There was an awkward silence, just to be broken when someone shouted “Proto! Where are you?”. The little planet looked at the direction of the voice, smiling widely and waving his hands “I’m here!”.
Another planet walked next to the other, an even smaller one. “Oh! Is he your new friend?” The smaller planet asked the other, who tilted his head “uhm, yeahh?? Sorry, what's your name?”. “Oh… I’m Uranus, I’m the 7th planet of the solar system” he responded and the smaller one said “nice to meet you! I’m Theia and this is Photo-Earth”. Uranus nodded, he looked at Theia, she also reminded him of…
She continued introducing themself “we’re the third planet of the solar system!
We share an orbit, isn’t it cool?”
…
‘We share an orbit, isn’t it cool?
’…
Oh… I remember…
…
…
The walk back to his orbit was turbulent, he couldn’t stop thinking about her, about that figure that never left his mind. Jupiter was accompanying him, but they didn’t share a word. Jupiter didn’t seem to have interest in his mental breakdown, it was like he was annoyed of having to take care of him. But Uranus didn’t pay attention to that, he was busy thinking about her. Uranus was looking down, his eyes were like waterfalls, he couldn’t look straight, it was all blurry. His head was spinning, a sensation on his stomach made him want to throw up. Everything pieced together now. It wasn’t an accident, it wasn’t a big asteroid that hit him. It was her. They collided, because of him.
He was the result of the collision, he was mixed with the remains of the one that he loved the most. He was disgusted with himself, he couldn’t look at his rings, he couldn’t look at his orbit, he couldn’t look at his almost formed moons, he couldn’t look at himself. He hated himself.
The memories of her were still a blur, but he still remembered how much he loved her. She was the only one that understood him. And now… she’s gone.
The days passed, and all he could do was curl himself and cry for eternity. He was alone with what’s left of her. No one visited him again, they all watched him cry and grief from afar. Nobody wants to visit someone who can’t even say a sentence without crying. But he didn’t understand, why him? Why is he the one with conscience? Why did he still remember her? Why did this happen to them? Why is he still alive? There were so many questions floating in his head that no one could answer.
His headaches got worse, he felt like he was punched a million times on his head. His body was sore and his chest felt like someone was stabbing him nonstop. His world was destroyed, nothing matters anymore.
It was one of the usual days where he would just cry the whole day and stare at the emptiness of space, thinking about how miserable his life was. Uranus was hugging his knee and looking away, his eyes were red and swollen. He was tired of crying, but his eyes couldn’t stop watering. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a strange sound…
is that crying?
Someone was crying and it wasn’t him, maybe Saturn? But it seemed to be close to him, so it couldn’t be him. Uranus stood up, trying to find the source of the sound. He followed the crying, looking around the cloud of dust around him. And he finally found who was crying… a small moon, her hands on her face, trying to wipe her tears off her face. Uranus froze, not knowing what to do. She cried and cried, she seemed helpless, hopeless, she didn’t know what to do in this vast space, she was alone… just like him. He inhaled and held his breath, wiping the tears out of his own face, he started walking slowly at the little moon. He didn’t want his moon to see him as vulnerable as her. He’s her planet and he wants her to see how cool her planet is, even though he isn’t.
“Hello” Uranus said softly, not wanting to scare the other away. She jumped and stepped back, her eyes were filled with tears and he could see the fear on her face. “Did you just form?” He continued, slowly walking closer to her, as she stood frozen, not saying a word.
“I… I think you’re my moon. And… I’m your planet” he was closer to her now, so he could see her better. He noticed that her face was slowly losing the fear and it was replaced by some kind of relief. He smiled a bit, “I’m Uranus! By the way… hm, do you have a name?” By hearing this, the little moon just ran into Uranus’s arms, hugging him tightly and burying her face on his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Uranus jumped, surprised by the sudden act, he didn’t know how to comfort someone, so he just rubbed the moon's back.
“It’s okay… I’m here” he whispered softly, trying to comfort her, which seemed to work as he felt the moon relax on his grip. Her tears were now tears of relief for finally reaching a safe space to be. Seeing her relief made him suddenly feel better. All the previous thoughts instantly disappeared. All his worry, his fear and his sadness completely faded away. He suddenly felt relaxed. The world around him became brighter. His headache seemed to finally stop and his body felt lighter now. Uranus hugged her, he wanted to protect her forever, keep her in his arms and never let go. She was his moon. His little moon. No one will ever hurt her or take her away from him.
They stayed like this for a while, Uranus occasionally saying some affirming words to comfort her, which he realized it worked when he stopped hearing her sobs. He looked down and noticed her eyes closed. She was sleeping peacefully, her face didn’t show any fear nor sadness.
Uranus holded her like a baby in his arms, looking down and smiling after seeing her calm face. She was very small, he noticed that her surface was made of ice and rock, which made her look like there were little sparkles around her. She looked like a little fairy with magical sparkles around her. She was beautiful. He suddenly realized that she was shaking. Uranus was panicking, did he do something? Did he hurt her? But some sense came into his mind when he realized that she was just using a chiton, in consequence she was feeling very cold. He let out a sigh of relief and carefully took the cloth that was on his shoulders off and wrapped it around the little moon. He didn’t care that he was feeling cold, he only cared that his moon was now warm and cozy. He wiped some tears off her face, being careful to not wake her up. She looked just like her…
Uranus smiled more, he felt his eyes watering. He wasn’t sad, it was a happy tear. He never knew that his moon would be so important to him to a point that he would cry out of happiness. He looked up, trying to not cry again and then noticed other moons around who were still forming and had no conscience yet. They must have been forming for a while now and he didn’t realize because he was too focused on his own thoughts. They are his little moons. And he’s going to protect them all.
Looking back at the moon on his arms, she didn’t move at all, she continued to look as calm as before. Uranus couldn’t stop smiling, his cheeks were already beginning to hurt because of how wide the smile was. It was the first time since he woke up that he actually felt happiness. His little moon…
He remembered that the moon didn’t have a name. So he tried to come up with a good name, a beautiful name for his beautiful moon. But his mind couldn’t stop thinking about one specific name. A name that was floating in his mind the moment he saw her.
“Titania”